#ideal removals

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

The Bronx Zoo has just released Flaco's necropsy results.

He was not thriving, as the people championing the ideal of "freedom" claimed.

He was poisoned.

He was sick.

He was suffering.

"Freedom" would have eventually killed him. A building just happened to do it first.

"Postmortem testing has been completed for Flaco, the Eurasian eagle owl that was found down in the courtyard of a Manhattan building a little over a year after his enclosure at the Central Park Zoo was vandalized on February 2, 2023. Onlookers reported that Flaco had flown into a building on the Upper West Side of Manhattan on February 23, 2024, and acute trauma was found at necropsy. Bronx Zoo veterinary pathologists determined that in addition to the traumatic injuries, Flaco had two significant underlying conditions. He had a severe pigeon herpesvirus from eating feral pigeons that had become part of his diet, and exposure to four different anticoagulant rodenticides that are commonly used for rat control in New York City. These factors would have been debilitating and ultimately fatal, even without a traumatic injury, and may have predisposed him to flying into or falling from the building. The identified herpesvirus can be carried by healthy pigeons but may cause fatal disease in birds of prey including owls infected by eating pigeons. This virus has been previously found in New York City pigeons and owls. In Flaco’s case, the viral infection caused severe tissue damage and inflammation in many organs, including the spleen, liver, gastrointestinal tract, bone marrow, and brain.   No other contributing factors were identified through the extensive testing that was performed. Flaco’s severe illness and death are ultimately attributed to a combination of factors—infectious disease, toxin exposures, and traumatic injuries—that underscore the hazards faced by wild birds, especially in an urban setting."

The naturalistic fallacy kills animals in horrible ways. The romanticism of what humans want to think of as a "free, wild, pure life" cannot be allowed supplant the reality of injury, sickness, and death. Releasing captive animals (or keeping them from being recaptured) because it's "better" for them to suffer untethered than live a healthy, safe, captive life is inhumane and horrific.

Flaco's life didn't have to end in pain, sickness, and suffering.

Flaco's death didn't have to be tragic.

But once the idea of "freedom" entered the chat, Flaco's fate was unavoidable.

[is-this-even-relatable]

Misfortune Teller

tldr: An older Danny, apprentice to Clockwork, does a lot of field work across dimensions, resetting the timeline, queuing future events, and who knows what else. Occasionally, he warns people about such upcoming possibilities, to set them on the right path. How, you might ask? Well in this case... as a wandering fortune teller.

Crack-fic (oh god, it's getting long and my logic brain won't let it remain as crack) where Danny becomes Clockwork's apprentice after getting his GED. Living his infinite afterlife to the fullest. Inspired by this tumblr post.

Working for Clockwork had been... interesting so far. At first, Danny got frustrated by how vague and cryptic Clockwork was. He'd just shunt Danny off to some ancient time with a few words, his own time medallion (Danny carried it everywhere with him now), and then pop back into the portal, leaving Danny with only the faintest idea of where to go.

Eventually, after enough time (ha!) spent around Clockwork, Danny figured out that it just basically meant that he had free reign and to do whatever he wanted. Because if he went on the wrong path, (like that one time in Pompeii when he had almost caused the volcano to explode a few years too early), Clockwork would just pop on by, say another few cryptic words, and then it'd all be fine and dandy, or as he liked to say, "All is as it should be... Now stop practicing your wail by an active volcano."

After telling Jazz about that (it was supposed to be funny, not concerning), she just sighed and shook her head, with a forlorn "think before you act, Danny!" but hey, it'd turned out fine so far, so who cares how he does what Clockwork asks him to do, as long as it gets done, right? Even if it's with a liiiiitle more mischief than strictly required.

Besides. Danny was the one who had been doing time shenanigans across millennia, not Jazz. And he thought he'd been getting pretty good at it too! He'd actually started giving himself a different made-up background for each universe he visited. Sam and Tucker were helping him keep up with the identities on a spreadsheet, so if he had to go back to one he'd already visited, he'd remember who he'd said he was supposed to be.

---

He was on a call with them one evening while haunting Jazz's apartment, doing just that, when he felt a familiar tingle in the back of his throat, as well as a heightened awareness of the seconds passing by, that always accompanied his mentor's appearance.

Sam was talking about his past stint posing as a god of death when he cut in. "Hey- sorry to interrupt, Sam- Clocky's here, guys, I gotta dip."

"Aw, come on! We hardly talked any this past week since you passed your certifications, man," Tucker complained.

Danny rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Yeah, yeah. Partly on you too though, you've been caught up outside of class, and Sam's schedule is nearly the opposite of yours."

Sam hummed in agreement despiter Tucker's scoff.

Danny missed hanging out with them as much as they had in high school, but hey, life goes on. Or at least, theirs did, to college. After finally flunking out of Casper High, he'd taken some time to get used to his responsibilities in the ghost zone, and when he had, he realized that he didn't really have much enthusiasm or timeleft for his human life.

And he didn't really want to go back home either.

But Jazz had made him tie up any loose ends before he noped-off to god knows where, which frankly, he had to thank her for. Getting his GED took a few years, but it was an accomplishment that could be attributed to Danny Fenton, no ghostliness required. Then he was able to let that tether go free.

Pulled out of his musings by a few more grumbles from Tucker, Danny said his goodbyes, promising to call the next time they were all available.

After hanging up, Danny swiveled around, anticipation already lighting up his eyes an ethereal green.

Clockwork, for his part, had been waiting patiently through Danny's lengthy goodbyes. Although he supposed that it tracked for the watcher of time to be patient. With his job, it'd be a nightmare if he wasn't.

"Phantom," Clockwork spoke, calm as always. "I have some tasks I need you to complete as my apprentice."

And Danny, always ready for adventure, didn't need him to explain any further. "Sure! When do you need me to be?"

Clockwork smiled at that. "I am fortunate you are eager. Follow me."

---

Danny popped into existence in this universe with a burst of cold air and static electricity. He found himself hovering by a clocktower above a sprawling, gothic city. Smog and light pollution obscured the stars above him, to his disappointment. He comforted himself with the fact that he'd probably have all the time he wanted to fly someplace less populated to see them later.

He started off by familiarizing himself with the city. As he flew, he followed the trail of power and met the resident city-spirit, a spooky- but kind underneath- woman draped in black lace, who told him her name was Gotham. He spoke in length with her about this universe, its heroes, and her knights. On that, she was very enthusiastic... or at least Danny thought she was, her projected emotions belaying much more than her gloomy exterior. She told him how her knights had been through a lot and would need some guidance fighting the darkness that pooled in her deepest corners, smiling with too much glee, filling lungs with fear, and terrorizing with cold hard bullets.

Danny could sense that the dangers she spoke of were growing in power, ever slowly. The longer they shadowed people's minds and hearts, an intangible thing grew that lent them more otherworldly pull than their physical forms had right to hold.

That must be what he was sent here for.

But... they were weak, pitifully so for him, infinite king as he was. And besides, he wasn't here in that sense. He was a messenger, a simple apprentice. And he could do this however he wanted.

Cue his talk with Lady Gotham, and subsequent idea to arm her knights. With what? Well, he figured knowledge would be a start. Flying high above the city invisibly, Danny noticed a sea of colors and lights by what appeared to be the city's pier. He flew down, noting that it appeared to be the setup spot for a travelling circus or carnival of some kind.

He considered what to do. One of Lady Gotham's troubles was a madman clown, right? Well maybe he'd be attracted to his ilk here... and with the danger came the knights. Maybe he could catch one of them here?

Danny was floating around at the entrance and beginning to formulate a plan when a flyer caught his eye. Looking for a mystic to read fortunes. URGENT!

Hadn't Clockwork said something about fortunes? And he hadn't made an identity in this universe yet...

A mischievous smile crept across Danny's face, splitting it in two with far too many teeth.

---

Half a city away, a man in all black, perched on the very same clocktower that Phantom had Appeared by, shivered as he felt an ominous premonition about his sanity in the near future...

Said man quickly opened his comms to check in with his many, many kids. Yet even after hearing back from each, he still felt apprehensive.

Somewhere even further, Clockwork laughed.

---

And that's how Danny found himself seated at a fortune teller's booth at a pier in Gotham, two days later, for the Tricksy Traveling Circus's grand opening.

[sinni-ok-sessi]

someone needs to make yoga videos for people in cold houses. thirty minute flow where you do not need to remove your socks. positions you can achieve without your jumper riding up. front fold but we stop a good foot away from the mat because we understand your hamstrings resemble those pictures you see of iced-over rigging. you see my vision.

[nthflower]

One thing I think you guys get wrong is sky was not telling Viktor he was not going to miss their talks because it was meant nothing to him and he didn't even care about him.

It was because he was completely giving up his humanity and in the future he will have no emotions to miss sky even if he want to. He would be incapable of missing him not that he didn't even care about her????

Like am I misunderstanding or no because that was not a you don't care about me moment for me???

Sky understood what Viktor was giving up better than him to me. And let him go while reminding him what that means?

[kayberrie]

Cassandra Cain does not have a flexible moral compass. cass cannot turn a blind eye. She is incapable of not saving that life, she will never allow another person to perish in front of her. It's a product of her childhood, or maybe of her mentor's dogmatic mentality. Cassandra will never understand her brother and his unceremonious approach to human life. Cass will never be able to accept a killer, no matter how good their intentions. It's not something she can change: no matter how much fanon wants you to believe that she's is a quiet little angle, Cass is a person who's ideals are so strong that any violation of them is a violation of her, and she should be allowed to be an asshole about them sometimes.

[petrichormore]

tr!Bad and tr!Water need to have a conversation with each other a million blocks out where no one else can give input tbh. There’s a lot of “I need this and I’m not getting it ” from both sides - which is helpful in communicating - but there’s not enough “what would you have me do”

The question “what would you have me do” could clear up whether or not the friendship is salvageable pretty quickly I think. They’re not really understanding each other currently even though they are trying to communicate, and that question could break through all that. If Bad asks “what would you need me to do to save this friendship” and Water says “isolate yourself from everyone besides me and spend more time with me than anyone else” then that’s. Well that’s it. Bad is unwilling to do that (as of right now) so that’s the end. Problem solved.

But Water might, with the question “what would you have me do” be able to elaborate that it’s the ‘favorite’ portion of Bad having friends that she dislikes, not the ‘having friends’ itself. At least, that’s the vibe I’m getting. That still might be too much for Bad, but maybe there’s things he can do to prove to Water that others are not his favorites without ever verbally choosing a favorite specifically. Maybe actions can speak louder than words in this instance, and neither of them have even explored that because they’re not asking what they should do. They’re not discussing what they want a potential friendship to actually look like, in practice - they just have a nebulous concept that neither of them agree on.

The same goes for Water btw, but I feel her asking the “what would you have me do” question is less applicable because she’s the one trying to sever the connection, while Bad is the one trying to salvage it. Not to say I don’t think Water wants a friendship, she clearly cares (even if she doesn’t want to care), but if someone is going to take action first it’s probably going to need to be Bad, leading by example. The question needs to come from him first, and then he decides if he’s willing to do what Water suggests. If he is willing to at least try, then Water can follow up with “so what about my scenario isn’t ideal for you? what would you have me do?”

I say all this like I think they’d actually talk out their problems healthily even though Water is apparently perfectly aware of what boundaries are in regards to a relationship, and that they’re healthy - she just doesn’t want them. Which. I mean. That’s kind of a red flag, isn’t it. Not that I or Bad or any holywater duo fans care.

[sysig]

Sims 2 has played Clinical Trial, it all went by the exact same beats

[viktorarcanedeservesbetter]

To me (because I like making myself suffer) there are 2 other types of universes where Jayce and Viktor make hextech. If Viktor is always the mage, able to go to all universes where Jayce gets stuck in that blizzard with his mom, maybe he doesn't exactly know how that particular universe ends and is just searching for the exact one Jayce (and also Ekko) can save.

Viktor dies before Jayce can save (also doom) him with the hexcore. Maybe it's before the explosion, maybe he dies with Sky, maybe he just goes to bed and doesn't wake up. Jayce deals with this however you interpret. Maybe he goes crazy and destroys universes trying to find a healthy Viktor who won't die before their dream can be fully lived. Maybe he intentionally creates The Machine Herald this time. Maybe he stops inventing and just. Becomes a loner.

They are able to create hextech without any death/damage at all. Maybe Jayce and Viktor (who could find out about it before Jayce's place is robbed) and discover it's potential somewhere else. Maybe they start in Zaun and end up improving the lives of everyone there that Silco and Vander reconnect, Powder and VI stay sisters, everyone stays alive. Maybe Viktor is able to find a cure for his illness (and therefore find no need to experiment, since the fear of death will no longer control him.)

[theirwolfbicanthrope]

See, regardless the intention with the new Nosferatu what I see over and over especially on Twitter with -no joke- over 400,000 likes are posts about how all this happened because Thomas was way too invested in getting a promoyion instead of staying home and fucking his wife

I mean, it's hard to have sex with your wife if you don't have a home. just saying.

Really, though, the victim blaming going on with these takes makes me so frustrated. Even IF we ignore that Orlok already knows Ellen and feels entitled to her, even IF we ignore that he is doggedly determined (now that she's married to someone else) to show up and reclaim her for good - Thomas. Had. No. Choice.

Not to rant at you, anon, just using your ask to go off on this narrative.

The thing is - Thomas is already in debt at the start. That it's to his friend doesn't matter to Thomas. Honestly it might make the debt seem even worse. He is indebted to Harding financially, he and Ellen are not off to the most secure start, he's already been away for a while due to the honeymoon - this actually is vitally important for them. He needs his job. He was already late - if he hadn't been so late or hadn't realized it, he likely would have stayed home longer. But he couldn't. Then when he's offered this big, lucrative deal, he can't refuse it. Knock commenting about 'if you close this sale, you're job is guaranteed' isn't just tempting him with success, it's also threatening him with failure.

What happens if Ellen relapses and they're destitute? What happens if Ellen is having her seizures again, the sleepwalking, the melancholy, what if it gets worse? Ellen of course is still in the sweet honeymoon phase and thinks that love will be enough to stave those things off because so far Thomas' mere presence and affection has worked. But the thing is, that high is going to come back down. It happens in even the most wholesome and genuine of relationships, and stress - especially financial stress - will not do them any favors. Will not do her and her mental health and her attempts to keep her bond with Orlok suppressed any good whatsoever. I mean, that's basically what is happening in the film. The more they struggle financially, the more desperate things get, the greater the fissures and cracks that form in their marriage, giving Orlok more opportunity to come in and use it against them. Which is quite literally what he does. Thomas staying home, refusing the job, etc., only changes the how and when.

Ellen doesn't quite get it because based on what we know of her background and her father, she's never struggled to make ends meet, she's struggled with wealth and status being used against her. Of course she comes at this from the angle of 'being in a wealthy household didn't protect me', which Thomas can't understand. Neither can Ellen understand Thomas' perspective of being in debt to someone, worrying about failing to provide. I don't think it's simply that Thomas wants to make Ellen comfortable and have a life like she used to - he quite literally is worried that he cannot provide for her at all, especially if she gets sick (mentally or physically).

Like, Thomas in the 2024 movie isn't solely and completely driven by financial success - if you contrast him in the film with how Eggers originally wrote him in the 2016 script or how he's portrayed in the 2023 remake, this Thomas comes across to be more of the mindset that 'having financial success and being of similar standing to Ellen and Friedrich will make everything fine and I will be good enough to deserve her love and his friendship.' The driving factors are really that Thomas a) wants everything to be will for him and Ellen and b) wants to live up to the rigid societal standards of his gender. He's insecure, and he's overcompensating. Which isn't great but is a relatively normal character flaw, and certainly isn't one that is so inherently damning. His love and concern for Ellen still factor into things. He's not turning into a money-obsessed, toxic masculinity-minded asshole or something of the sort. That's why as soon as he's no longer naive to this darkness in the world - the things that Ellen has known of all along - his motivation shifts entirely to protecting Ellen. He understands now that unfortunately, in this rigged, supernatural game they're all trapped in, money means nothing. Money can't save Harding and his family, it certainly won't save Thomas and Ellen. But even IF he had known that all along - it wouldn't have made a difference.

Thomas and Ellen still need to live, Thomas would have to leave for work, and would have to take that job that sends him over to Transylvania. And if somehow they could circumvent that? Orlok still would find a way to separate them. Orlok would still come to Wisburg. Thomas is not the hero in this story, he's the damsel in distress, and unfortunately for him, while he gets to make it out alive, the actual hero who saves the day does not. Thomas loses his wife, but that is not his fault. It's not his fault he got assaulted, traumatized, left for dead, and it's not his fault he couldn't save Ellen. It's not his fault she died.

Ellen was doomed long before she met him, and that wasn't her fault, either.

anyway, all this to say - I'm glad I'm not on twitter. I'm glad I can block people with these takes.

[watcherintheweyr]

desperately need people to understand that alicent is a victim but she’s also an abuser and a perpetrator

that she actively makes choices to harm other women because of jealousy and envy and the greed deep in her bones because submitting to suffering didn’t get her what those women fight to grasp for themselves.

she is absolutely a victim, in show.

that doesn’t change that she abused rhaenyra and her children, her own son, most likely helaena given how she flinches every time her mother touches her, and is actively weaponizing the patriarchy of westeros against other women- rhaenyra primarily, but also mysaria and dyana.

she isn’t the moral, righteous force of good that even she thinks she is, she’s a wounded woman directing all of the rot, pain, and fury inside her at the wrong people and forces.

[spotaus]

Unrelated to anything I REALLY want to draw my 3 personas together... (N, Light, and Theory) they're so funny and so vastly different-

[averlym]

"now, doesn't that look nice?" [insp]

[serotonin-dose]

Thinking about making an AU for post-epilogue Metaphor where Louis survives but he's forgotten most of the events of Metaphor, or at least the context.

Lying in a field, with a blue sky hanging over him. Confused and lost. Having fuzzy and vague memories of what happened but still unsure of what they mean. Wandering through a world where after years of rebuilding and reworking the system that Euchronia was in for eons.

What would it be like for Will and the crew to re-encounter an amnesiac Louis? What's it like for them to see Louis, an object of their hate, but have Louis feel practically no animosity towards them except for the vague memories he held onto?

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

love is to knights what bear traps are to hungry foxes

[fruit-snacker]

The amount of joy I experienced when pencil showed up was unprecedented

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Picking up SR tomorrow around noon to bring him back to my place for a few hours of blazy sunday time, then heading back to his place when it's time to walk his dogs so we can continue on afterwards 😊

As always, gotta figure out what to wear. I wish I had more clothing items that offered enough support to go braless! And it's got to be something I feel comfortable driving around in and walking through a fancy apartment building lobby in.