#idc if hes dead i'd have his children

[lyrisnightblood]

Dear "lovely" "canon Jiang Cheng Stans",

I see what you're doing here. I can see y'all talk about "book meta" and "writing Jiang Cheng as canonically accurate" and you know what?

Y'all are doing a fantastic job, keep it up 😍🎉

Yeah really! I mean it!

Y'all are doing a fantastic job showcasing just how utterly pathetic y'all are, how chronically online y'all are, and most importantly, y'all are doing a marvellous job showcasing your hate boner for a fictional character you claim to hate and is an "antagonist".

Keep up the lovely work y'all, show the world how you lack an ounce of reading comprehension, you booktok obsessed peeps!

And while you're at it, let me go spittin' facts, straight from the book.

Jiang Yanli is dead. End of the story. You can fantasize to your heart's content about how "she'll react to JC raising her son" and get your pants in a twist about all the bad things she'll supposedly say, but that's just it. You can only imagine it.

You know why?

Hmm idk cos she's fucking dead and no one knows what the dead wants?

This is exactly like "Don't do this your mother wouldn't have wanted this of you" "don't talk like you know my mother she's dead and i don't know what she wanted cos she's dead"

Well

I should've expected such callous behaviour from antis 🤷

Admit it, y'all wanted Wei Wuxian to raise Jin Ling huh? C'mon, don't be shy🥰 you can say that

Except your fave never could've raised Jin Ling cos 1) as if the Jin Sect would let their Sect heir be raised by the jianghu's most wanted person (Gasp, "wEi wUxIaN sLaNdEr" love check your books even wwx acknowledges that fact lolll) and 2) how tf could a dead man, no less a man who's soul got ripped into shards, take care of a baby?

"but Jin Guangyao was a better parental figure, and an actual parent"

Yeah, a parent who killed his own child cos he was worried about his reputation (I can already smell y'all coming at me to defend him like chill, I only said the truth, and yes, man was more worried about people knowing he married his sister and losing position than the life of his own son, just because he loved Rusong didn't change the fact that he was ready to go to the extreme). Not to mention how Jin Guangyao held a string to his own nephew's neck and threatened to kill him to save his skin while it was Jiang Cheng who begged him to let Jin Ling go

Betcha Jiang Yanli's ghost is watching the scene while sipping tea and praising Jin Guangyao huh

"but one of Jin Zixuan's cousin-"

Jin Zixun is dead. And is a truly despicable person. Or did you forget how he insulted Wei Wuxian left and right?

Oh wait. Of course you forgot, "criticizing" Jiang Cheng takes precedence! My bad, i should've known!

Let me stop y'all before you say "Jin Guangshan". You must be the utterly worst person in the planet to want a known womanizer and child abuser and rapist to raise a child. IDC Jin Guangshan is related to Jin Ling. Y'all just want a known abuser and sexual predator to raise Jin Ling just say you don't give two cents about the poor boy except when you want to hate on Jiang Cheng 🙄

"what about Jin Furen"

Yeah what about her? Or did you forget how she canonically had a role to play in Jin Ling's upbringing?

Who do you think is responsible for Jin Ling spending half a year in Lotus Pier? Certainly not Jin Guangyao!

If there was one person in the Jin Sect who could have enough sway to ensure that her own grandson is spending a significant amount of time in another sect, it's Jin Furen.

Three guesses why she did that?

Lol you actually thought I'd wait for your guess? LMFAOOOOO you're so cute 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

She did that because Jin Furen cared for A-Li and - wait for it - A-Cheng!!!

Reread the books if you missed it, mmkay?

She was fond of Yu Ziyuan, and by extension her children, and post-SSC, she offered to support both of them on multiple occasions (which they declined because any political support from Jin Sect would've come with strings attached cos JGS😑)

Establishing the fact that Jin Furen cared for Jiang Cheng, she had agreed to Jin Ling spending half his time in Lotus Pier because she sensed that he was all Jiang Cheng had left, and vice versa.

Y'all also have utterly forgotten about the cruel way Jin Ling's paternal cousins have bullied him for being an orphan. Like, Koi Tower is supposed to be his home, and he was bullied to the point where Lotus Pier became his sanctuary.

"AHA! GOTCHA! QIN SU SHOULD'VE RAISED HIM!"

Laughing My Fricking Ass Off TM

My man Qin Su was RIGHT THERE! No one was stopping her from raising Jin Ling! She could've been the maternal figure Jin Ling needed! And no one would have questioned it, it was actually expected for that timeline.

Except.... Did she? Did she do anything to make Jin Ling feel loved? Has Jin Ling ever talked about his aunt the same way he talks about his uncles? Apart from the respect that he gives to her as his paternal uncle's wife, does Jin Ling refer to her fondly? Even once?

"Alright, your point?"

Why thank you for asking 💗😌

My point is that Jiang Cheng is canonically the best guardian for Jin Ling, and this conclusion comes AFTER analysing every other candidate.

And you know what?

I am absolutely right🎉💗🌸😻

Evidence?

Exhibit A: Jiang Cheng accompanying Jin Ling's nighthunt to look out for him but also keeps himself at a distance so that Jin Ling actually participates in the nighthunt

Exhibit B: Letting Fairy enter Lotus Pier despite the strict dog ban (which he had adhered to even after wwx died)

Exhibit C: Jin Ling never once flinches or looks scared when Jiang Cheng shows his temper and says "I'll break your legs", he knows his jiujiu is all bark but would never hurt him

Exhibit D: "how dare you hit me? Even my jiujiu had never hit me!" - Jin Ling to Wei Wuxian (who btw oh so casually hits Jin Ling as if it's a normal thing to hit a child💀)

Exhibit E: "A-Ling! Who made you cry?" - Jiang Cheng when he saw a crying Jin Ling. No admonishment. No Judgement. And certainly no anger directed at Jin Ling.

Exhibit F: Jin Ling being unafraid to cry in front of his jiujiu, he knows he won't be judged.

Exhibit G: Jiang Cheng saving Jin Ling on multiple occasions.

Exhibit H: Jiang Cheng begging Jin Guangyao to take him hostage and release Jin Ling, without hesitation, despite his spiritual energy being locked and being stabbed in the chest.

I could go on and on and on but unlike you lovely people who have no hobby other than slandering Jiang Cheng, I have TONS.

And also a life.

So, go fantasize about your Jiang Cheng hate boner elsewhere. I see your pathetic attempt at taking over the Canon Jiang Cheng tag and it ain't working.

Ciao 🤟

[aggravatetheaxe]

Hi hello tell me about Caesar's dead wife

ty my beautiful friends :)

here is caesar's dead wife

-Legion name Drusilla Minerva; original name translates roughly to "Red-Eyed Sparrowhawk Woman"

-tan skin, auburn hair, eyes same color as hair. styled as the Daughter of Minerva much how Caesar is styled the Son of Mars

-came from a matriarchal tribe who, upon seeing what the Legion wrought, decided to join willingly despite, well, everything. their thought process was that there is a dignity in Choice, even if it is one of limited Choices, and assimilation was preferable to losing all their knowledge (i know that canonically caesar's legion is one homogeneous culture and erases all other identities but realistically this isn't how empires work so. wiggle room)

-youngest daughter of an elder and medicine woman, possesses knowledge of loads of ancient practices including blood transfusion and c-section

-despite the Legion going on and on about how you have to have a young, fertile bride, Drusilla is neither young (objective - she's caesar's same age, so like 30) nor fertile

-it was Joshua's idea for caesar to get married - citing a bunch of different reasons, not the least of which was "hey you should probably have an heir so that if you die this empire doesn't devolve into immediate chaos." caesar was like "ok but......" and never finished the sentence ("but i'm gay josh"). joshua was like don't worry king i'll handle it

read more

-selects a woman for him to court, and hey, it turns out she's actually bad as hell? she's collected, sharp, insanely intelligent (as in wisdom and learned), fanatically spiritual, with a will of iron and a withering stare that could strike any legionary down. caesar is like "she rocks actually, let's do this." but first he has to tell her he and joshua have been, like, A Thing for a long time and he's not going to stop on her account. she's like I Literally Could Not Care Less, the Business of Men Does Not Concern Me. that seals the deal

-ok ok turns out she's actually super cool and they're bffs. yeah they have sex and whatever but when they hold court? definition of a power couple. every fag must have his hag

-joshua is invited into their bed whenever he wants but he's like no :prayer_emoji: adultery is a sin :prayer_emoji: .. Dru and Caesar are like have it your way you fuckin square!!

-she and caesar and josh are the pillars upon which the legion is built. although as a woman she knows her fate is always to be overshadowed, this is something she accepts, like thousands of queens and empresses before her. she's all about protecting her own peace. she's got all the power, comfort, and privilege she could ever want, so like, whatever.

-can frequently be seen spitting venom across the dining table at officers + reminding them of the Mission of the Legion. simply does not tolerate deviation.

-for fertility reasons, she and caesar only ever have one daughter before Drusilla determined another pregnancy would kill her. she's like go ahead and get a concubine who'll give you more children, idc. caesar is like but ... then i'd have to have sex with a . with a w. with a woman. and she's like jesus christ don't be a pussy

-serving cunt at all times. jewel-tone-pilled queens only

-lives at Caesar's palace (not that one- the one in arizona lol) but frequently makes trips out to war camps, sometimes with caesar, sometimes in his stead, sometimes before or after him. she's got a sharp eye and WILL let you know if anything is out of place or if something is not being done right. she's sweeping into camp with fanfare like a goddess, walking down that line of soldiers, and telling at least one to sashay away

-she may be a Woman but the legionaries are so scared of her. and they should be

-Breasts

-enjoys long walks with her entourage, or just her with a companion (usually joshua or a handmaid)

-took a shine to Vulpes, encouraged caesar's choice not to punish him. vulpes is like *points* that's my Evil Mother

-unfortunately took ill with a respiratory illness a decade (give or take) before the game takes place and, despite her best efforts and the efforts of many other healers, was not able to recover

-when it was clear that she was on her deathbed and that the illness would be drawn out, she and caesar agreed that she should commit suicide in the Roman tradition by poisoning. compared to her illness, it was a painless and peaceful death

-caesar's still not over it. yeah he's gay, but that was his best friend in the whole world. and not long after that he lost joshua too. so as you can imagine, he is going through it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bonus about their child, Julia:

[pretend i drew a busty athletic blond babe here]

-Julia is in her late 20s when the game takes place

-tan, dark blond, brown eyes, very obviously caesar's child in her expressions, anchoring facial features, and even her voice. so basically, sexy as hell

-lives in Arizona at the palace, takes care of her half-brothers and -sisters (with the massive help of a bunch of servants and slaves and nurses of course - but she's who they're closest to)

-yeah she's not a man, but she's honestly probably caesar's favorite kid anyway. he's very proud of her beauty and intelligence and is almost (almost) tempted to name her his heir.

-in her ample free time, she's read all the same literature her father has, though she's come up with...slightly different interpretations of the texts. she's like hmm... the legion is kind of not doing the right thing i think? but it's hard to have views that conflict with your culture when you're literally a princess/demigoddess

-would totally vibe with Arcade i think. he'd be like finally someone half sane

-Vulpes has a big fat lesbian crush on her. thank you and goodnight

[fastestloseralive]

do u have any facts or head cannons for barry allen or hal jordan?

barry's a cat person. hal is colorblind. they bonded over star trek and magnets and all the requirements to become an astronaut. hal is a concussion magnet. they were college roommates. but also they met in third grade (hence the magnet thing). no that's not canon idc they're childhood besties. they played baseball as kids in an empty lot like it was the sandlot. hal used to ride a motorcylce but he doesn't anymore because he crashed it. barry is terrified of motorcycles because of that. they once made a pact to name any children they ever have after each other, or like middle-name-wise anyway, so don's middle name is harold. hal kept helen after the spectre arc and now because of him she speaks solely in top gun quotes. they're both bisexual (so is iris but it's not something she thinks about as often). hal's been seeing ghosts since he was a kid but nobody ever believed him and then he temporarily got a part-time job sending people to hell, so who's laughing now? barry played baseball in college but fucked up his arm so he couldn't go pro, and that injury healed wrong so even as the flash he still has a bad shoulder. they're undiagnosed autism/undiagnosed adhd solidarity. hal's genderfluid (CANON) but he doesn't acknowledge it. he also had a crush on young tom cruise growing up (but he grew up watching the outsiders and top gun so no one is surprised he turned out the way he did). he doesn’t have a crush on tom cruise anymore though. in a similar vein barry named his cat after harrison ford (indy the kitty). barry once punched wally's dad in the face and it was awesome. barry's death is part of the reason hal became parallax. hal never worked up the courage to try to go see barry when he was the spectre, even though barry was dead and he figured he could, cause he didn't want to find out what barry thought about the parallax thing. actually, even if he tried, barry wasn't in the normal afterlife, he was in the speed force, probably the only place the spectre can't go (not canon but i'd like if it was). when hal came back to life he rejoined the air force 'cause he had nothing better to do and it was a distraction from the fact he had come back and barry hadn't. then barry came back and life was good again. they are connected at the hip hal is one of barry's lightning rods (along with wally and iris) and they don't get nearly enough screentime together anymore. i love them so much

[canyoufeelyourskinandbones]

Thoughts on Pit Babe the Series (major spoilers ahead)

Things I liked

car go vroom vroom 🚗 🚗💨

Charlie being a cinnamon roll soft puppy that melts Babe's walls 🥰 (also shoutout to Pavel's smile because that stole hearts)

Jeff!! Literally my favourite character out of the lot. He's cute, antisocial, saves himself and takes no shit ("I can leave the garage but I won't admit guilt for something I haven't done;" "If he's in a bad mood, why bring it to me?") all while being soft inside. My baby, my king 👑

Alan and Jeff ♥️ Charlie and Babe are cute but these two have a special place in my heart. The looks that were exchanged when Way accuses Jeff of causing Babe's accident (Alan's concern, pain at having to kick Jeff out, how Jeff's trusting gaze turns into hurt and anger at not being believed, the final glare as he walks away from the circle and Alan rushing after him aaaahhh). The way their relationship develops slowly till we get to episode 11 and it all comes rushing together 💞💞

The Hunter X Hunter team being a family

Kenta being morally grey 🩶. With all of Tony's children, you can see to some extent his influence over them but Kenta visibly struggles under it. The way he recognises when Tony is being cruel and wrong but can't stop him, and how he follows orders as far as he can, how he never hurts Pete, how he stays even though he knows that he's being abused. He gets fired because on some level he doesn't really want to hurt other people, he's just never been valued as anything but a weapon. When he stabs Tony and asks him to stop hurting other people? That hit.

KIM. Can we get some applause for him? I loved how principled he was. He's just out here working hard to beat the rival he admires on fair terms and Tony and alpha auctions just have to ruin it.

North and Sonic, the iconic duo ✨ who provide some much needed comic relief when shit gets dark. The series played with the idea of them being a couple and I'm fine either way. Platonic, romantic, idc, I just need them on screen together.

The Pete/Way and Pete/Kenta stuff happening. On one hand, Pete and Way's interactions suggested a romance (drinking together, tender moments, how Pete really sees Way - his sadness, guilt, and general feelings of fucked-up-ness, and how their enigma/enigma pairing echoes Charlie/Babe's alpha/alpha one). But the flashback of Pete and Kenta in the House of Suffering suggests that there's something there (was that an accidental kiss?). There's also the moment when Kenta corners Pete earlier in the series and Pete totally looks at his mouth, hmm. I think I prefer Pete/Way but I'd be down with Pete/Kenta because of the angsttt.

Was really into the AlanJeff sexy music (ifykyk)

Things I didn't like

Charlie's whining. Enough said.

Babe not apologizing for the way he treats Charlie when they're on the outs. Like yeah, he says sorry when Charlie is fake-dead but it shouldn't take that for him to be like "honey, sorry I was a dick."

Winner being Evil. Was hoping the tension between him and Kim would be the fun kind 😉 but Winner is a bully so that's not happening :((

Way's rushed redemption arc. If it wasn't for the sexual assault, he'd be up there with Kenta on the fun morally grey list. What he did to Babe could have been so much worse if he wasn't stopped but the way the storyline frames that as something that he can come back from just because he decided to change is so outta whack. If he stayed dead - S2 suggests otherwise - that would have been fine but he's coming back and like . . I don't know if sacrificing your life makes up for almost raping your best friend (again, we have every reason to believe he would have). Soo no longer attached to Way as a character, which is fine because the way he emotionally isolates Babe was already such a red flag.

About halfway through the series I felt like it should be called Tony's Children or something cause god, where was the racing and the fun group dynamics?? Instead it was kidnapping! Predictions of death! Sexual assault! Human trafficking! I know S2 will have the same dark themes, but I hope it's more balanced.

Although there were definitely parts of this show I wasn't a fan of, it was overall a fun time and I'm looking forward to seeing S2 and (hopefully) lots more AlanJeff. And cars going vroom vroom 🚗💨

[manwiththemagic]

spn s1 ep3 "Dead in the water"

more rewatch notes/commentary I have while watching!! :9

Ew Wisconsin okay...

“guys don't like buff girls.” WHO ASKED?? dumbahh person of the week. I don't even REMEMBER this episode and honestly, I blame you pal. I. Blame. You.

“be careful.” Okay so she's going to die then.

I wish I lived on a lake :(((

HELP THE SLOWMO... uhhh rip girl?? Ig..

Why does Dean look actually insane. He has like 100 newspapers, and his scribbling out faces and circling others 😭😭 i'd call the cops tbh..

Episode three, and second chick we see hitting on dean. It's just bc of his long eyelashes I bet.

LMAO “can I... get you anything else? ����” “just the check please ☺️” LOVE YOU SAM.

The way dean immediately gives up trying to convince Sam about hookups bc lil bro is still distraught about jess. Like yeah... no way is a hookup gonna seem "fun" to a grieving man

The side eye Sam gives dean when he's telling him about how the people had a funeral for a missing person.

“a funeral?” “yeah for closure or whatever” “closure? What closure. People don't just disappear Dean, others just stop looking for them.” WOAH NELLY... I get it. Bro wants to find dad, dad to find monster, monster to be KKKKKKKKKILLED‼️

vaild.

Okay so Sam is tweaking because he wants to find John, and Dean is— NO WAY HE JUST SAID THAT. “im sick of the attitude.” DAD DEAN CHAT!! also no way he pulled the "I've been with him everyday for the past two years while you were off at school—" BRO.

Great more depressed. old. MEN.

does the loch ness monster exist?

Oh shoot broke dam!! More like... Dam I'm BROKE!!

Dean being good with kids part 1!! Also this is why I have a hard time believing he's so bad with Jack like... LOOK ST THIS.

Dean and his 3 woman in three episodes.

“must be hard with your sense of direction.. trying to find your way to a decent pickup line.” HEYOOOOO!! she ate that.

“‘i love kids’?? You don't even like kids.” “yes I do!” “name 3 kids that you even know.” LMAO NOT SAM GATEKEEPING KIDS LIKE ITS AN INDIE BAND!!! also yes he likes kids, he literally raised you Sam wtfdym?

Wait so late monsters do exist?? THE LOCH NESS IS CANON?? just not here..? Damn I thought since bigfoot was fake that would be too.

I'm pretty sure it's some ghost chick.

Yikes more dead...

“no wonder that kid was so freaked out, watching one of your parents die isn't something you just get over..” DEAN :((( I always forget he watched Mary die, cause like Sam too, he just doesn't remember it.

Dean is so good with kids :(((

STOP THEY'RE SO CUTE.

“when I was your age I saw something... anyways..” FUCK.

DWAHHH LUCAS TAKING THE PICTURE DEAN DREW ☹️

AWH HE GAVE DEAN A PICTURE!! they made a connection.

Oh shoot.. that man is so dead. “im gonna make some dinner”

OH SHIT ITS IN THE PIPES

your dead kid. D E A D. IDC tho you ain't Lucas

Ew don't dig in the dirty water. HOLY SHIT HE DROWBING. HE DROWBNIN

Damn.. and in dirty water. I could never.

Bill Carlton is cooked. Literally everyone he knows is dead now.. like damn. Wtf did he DO.

“my children are gone..its worse than dying..” MORE SAD OLD MEN OMFG.

Lucas drawing is important!!

Why don't these people ever be like “yea.. serial killer man..” LIKE A BELIEVABLE BUT STILL CRAZY LIE. "Why the FBI here?" "Serial killer." ITS THAT EASY.

Dean getting help from a kid AHHHHHHHH!!

“your... scared..? I understand.. you see when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared too.. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see my mom.. I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day.” FUCK. JUST TEAR AT MY HEART STRINGS THEN DEAN. “and I do my best to be brave.. and maybe your dad wants you to be brave too.”

LUCAS YOU THE GOAT!!!

so now they are looking for the house Lucas drew and Dean like "man where tf is it?" And Sam's like "uh.. maybe let's look for the church?"

“ohhh collage boy thinks he's so smart!!” Dean the goat of this episode

Sam twitching because he doesn't know if or how he should bring up deans speech. Honestly now that I think about it Sam digs into deans personal stuff alot, mostly because Dean is jaded and hides stuff but IDK it's interesting.

“oh God we're not gonna have to hug or anything are we?” like you wouldn't enjoy that..

The churchhhhh

OMG THE BIKE. IT WAS BIG IN A DIFF DRAWING AND HERE IT IS AGAIN. omg wait it is important.

He's missing.. the kid with the bike.

HOLY COW. all the parents talking about how losing a kid is worse than death, and hey I know what canonically happens in death and uhh, idk if your right about that. Hell? eck.. ghost life?? yikes.. heaven? good but.. mehh...

Rip lil kid. Rip

HE KNEW BILLY. holy cow. Dead kid knew billy. Billy Carlton knows something is going on?? WAIT WHATS HAPOENING.

So wait is the dead kid the ghost..?

HOLY COW THAT BOAT FLEWWWW!!

Lucas having another vision??.. OH SHIT YEA THE GHOST GIES AFTER HIS MOM OR SMTH RIGHT??

THIRD TIME GETTING CAUGHT LMAOOO. “and your not really wildlife service..” HELP.

this cop made sus. Why you so mad these guys are investigating a murder?? They weird but like..

LUCAS KNOWSSSS..

This is kinda like a call forward or uhh foreshadowing to Sam's visions, which is kinda dope

LADY DON'T TAKE THAT BATH. NOT JUST CAUSE I DONT WANNA SEE YOU NAKED..

deans going back to town even after being threaten because lil kid was scared. GOAT. the goat I tell you.

“who are you and what have you done with my brother??” it's really not out of character for him Sam😭

DON'T TAKE THAT BATH LADY. YOUR DEAD. DOOMED.

oh whatever. I give up. EW MURKY WATER. CAN'T YOU FEEL IT LADY.

poor lucas.. lil bro bouta become an orphan.

LMAO DEAN THREW LUCAS OUTTA THE WAY. and Sam actually saved her 🤷

So wtf is after them. I DON'T REMEMBER.

Oh shoot puppy dog eyes Sam is back. “tell me what happened. Everything. 🥺”

More Lucas visions..

THEY FOUND THE BODY. or no? THE BIKE.

THE SHERIFF DID WHAT NOW.

No dead ghost Peter LEAVE LUCAS ALONEE!!

oh shit he did kill someone.

OH SHIT.

YOU WERE A BULLY?? EE. I HATE YOU. YOU KULLED HOM?? WTF.

dude no your daughter should stay away from you you freak.

LUCAS IS DROWNING.

Mermaid Dean 🧜

Sacrifice yourself for Lucas? Valid sheriff. Valid.

WOOO ITS OVERRRR!! MYSTERY SSSSOLVED!!

AW LUCAS IS TALKING AGAINNN!!

Dean teaching random kid his morals and tastes in music LMAO.

dean pulls yet NAOTHER woman. Are you fr?

One of my least favorite episodes tbh..

[lord-squiggletits]

Actually another Astarion hot take that I have is that idc what was in early access or the supplementary material, I take what's in the game at current release and the current lore is that Astarion barely remembers anything from his past life, so there's no way of knowing if he was a corrupt magistrate or not.

But even if we did know, I think that that's irrelevant to Astarion's storyline and if anything obfuscates what the themes of his story are supposed to be. It's very clear that his entire character is an allegory for/literally an example of someone who's a survivor of abuse and sex trafficking, and what's one of the most basic tenets of dealing humanely with abuse survivors? Understanding that no one deserves to be abused. So to me, even bringing up the question of "So was Astarion a good magistrate or a corrupt one?" is bringing in a moral judgement, and with that moral judgement brings a silent question of "So, did Astarion deserve what happened to him as karmic justice, or is he just an innocent victim who was in the wrong place at the wrong time?"

And when you consider the timeline of Astarion's pre-vampiric life (39 years) versus his vampiric life (200 years), it's very clear that even if you go purely by numerical terms, all of the suffering Astarion has gone through is way out of proportion to any wrongdoing he did. And again, I have to emphasize that for a character whose entire story is an allegory for abuse and whose themes revolve around the cyclical nature of abuse, bringing in ideas of good/bad and whether Astarion did something to deserve it or not is counterproductive to the narrative the writers chose, which was to focus on how trauma warps people into the worst versions of themselves. In order to remain thematically and (dare I say) morally correct, a story about an abuse victim shouldn't involve their backstory being "well, he kind of had it coming."

Though again, even if Astarion was canonically (not in EA, not in supplementary materials, in game during content that players can access) a shitty magistrate/person in his past life, literally no one deserves to be kept as a slave, emotionally abused, tortured, isolated, sexually exploited, and dehumanized. That's an incredibly punitive way of thinking that, again, is at odds with the primary theme of Astarion's story, which is about how an individual copes with trauma and deals with the cycle of abuse.

Plus, if you really want Astarion to be a problematic fave... he literally is problematic, right now, during the course of the game's story. I don't see how Astarion's actions as a magistrate 200 years ago are even relevant compared to all the bullshit he's doing right now that he's actually directly responsible for 😂😂😂

Though if you want my thoughts on Astarion's backstory re: the Gur (which idk if anyone else has talked about but I feel like they deserve a stronger presence in discussions of him), see the cut (and also my next reblog bc I want to give them their own section)

First of all, I'd like to point out that Astarion was turned into a vampire 200 years ago, and every single member of the Gur tribe that we see is human. Assuming that every Gur is human, that means that every single person who could've possibly been involved in Astarion's rulings as a magistrate (good or bad) is long dead, and so are their children, and their children's children.

And since the Gur hate vampires and see them as undead abominations, would they even see Astarion becoming a vampire spawn as justice?? If anything, they would be angry about the creation of another vampire and the fact that a vampire lord is free to create more victims to torture whenever he wants. So even if you want to go at it from a punitive justice perspective on behalf of the Gur, I'm not sure Astarion's enslavement would even be a satisfying punishment from their eyes. You know, assuming Astarion even did anything wrong to begin with, which in my opinion is purely up to headcanon anyways.

Secondly, a lot of people bring up EA Astarion having done deals with Cazador and sending him children before becoming a vampire. And they usually do this with a silent implication of, "Of course Astarion is racist towards the Gur, he was already racist towards them before." But I don't think that necessarily has to be the case. There's obviously no good reason to be racist towards anyone, but given that this is a story where characters are supposed to be realistic and flawed, I think that Astarion hating Gur because he was murdered by a gang of Gur is sufficient explanation. And rather than EA Astarion's raw, pure asshole bigotry, current!Astarion's bigotry is way more sympathetic in a "tragedy for everyone involved" sort of way. What I mean is:

Whatever ruling Astarion made, whether it was good or bad or neither, he was beaten to death by a gang of vigilantes. Even if the vigilantes just intended to seek justice for their side (assuming that Astarion's ruling was even against the Gur to begin with, the thugs could've just as easily been hired by some noble), their actions led to Astarion being enslaved by an evil vampire and tortured for centuries. It's a "nobody wins" scenario where an act of hatred (on Astarion's part, the Gur's part, or some random person who wanted Astarion killed) led to immeasurable suffering even though most of the people who instigated the fight to begin with are already long dead. Not just Astarion's suffering, but also his siblings, as well as all the victims they took on Cazador's behalf.

And while there's nothing in current BG3 precluding Astarion from having been racist to Gur while he was alive, I really prefer the idea of him only becoming bigoted due to trauma. Because again, to reiterate the point I made above, quibbling about whether Astarion was a racist or corrupt or evil when he was alive dilutes the themes of his story from "abuse victim empowered to choose between freedom or perpetuating the cycle" to "yeah, he was a victim, but he was kind of an racist asshole so he did deserve it a little."

I'm not saying this because I think Astarion needs to be a blameless victim, or because I think abuse survivors IRL can't be problematic/should have any problematic behavior be excused because they're traumatized. I'm speaking of it purely from a narrative perspective, especially from the angle of representation. The way stories portray abuse, if done poorly, can perpetuate stereotypes about abuse victims, such as saying that they must've done something to warrant being treated badly, or that certain types of people deserve to be abused because they're evil.

And even though it's perfectly okay to write characters who are shitty and problematic, I think writing stories in a way that perpetuate harmful views towards real life people and social issues is something that definitely SHOULD be avoided.

I'm also going at it from a restorative justice perspective. As someone who prefers to write stories with a more humanistic perspective, I've never liked the "Astarion kinda deserved it if he was evil beforehand" take because... Cazador?? Is not an agent of justice whatsoever? He's a shitty, controlling, abusive vampire who takes pleasure in controlling and torturing others. He treated his vampire spawn as slaves to bring him victims and even planned to sacrifice their lives for his own benefit. Even if you think it's possible for the spawn to deserve what Cazador did to them, how is it morally right to condone/water down Cazador's actions by implying that one (or more) of his victims was a shitty person, so technically it's just karma in a way? Cazador isn't some karmic force delivering justice to people who tried to escape it-- he's literally just an asshole abusing other people for fun.

[kfeinf-29jcdei]

I figured out a thing and now I just feel like dora the explorer. No real accomplishment but my own dance with my own backpack THAT I MADE DANCE WITH ME and a fox who steals enough to have a felony. Congratulations, you sing your own songs now too. No help unless we click on your destination for you. Kinda racist, isn't it? Why can't she have a friend with no criminal activity regularly and one more friend that's a person or animal and not her own possessions. YIKES that's evil. That's an only child too, man she's gotta have a shitty home life where is her mother and shit?

Anyway. It's a weird thing I had to like look up the entirety without finishing or going too far into detail to preserve time, world war 2 and then the cold war a little bit. I had no idea Stalin was so horrible he just killed anyone even like the men he used to kill like he wasn't even Hitler, he just gave less than the fucks Hitler had from his drugs and shit. That's my personal opinion people are BAT SHIT on a mission with continuous use of less than he did regularly or can be anyway. So, how is it Christianity and THE VATICAN BEING PUT AWAY ALONE AS A LITERAL LIKE SEPARATE ENTITY. OUT OF COUNTRY ANYONE OF THEM. JUST A FUCKING. ONLY. A. RELIGIOUS. ENTITY.

THOSE CREEPY CREEPS DID STUFF BACK THEN AND LEMME TELL YOU. I know a person who knows how those people operate with like secret secrets secretly hidden in the place that was forgotten by God and remembered by a dead guy who personally knew Jesus. Just by not talking about it. Over time, yes, they're men who wanted their way. With what he told me, I went hold on Stalin separated the Vatican and all. So LOOK AT US. MURICA, MAKE THEM BABIES CUZ POOR PEOPLE HAVE BEEN POOR OVER AND OVER WOOHOO THE RIGHT KIND OF (this is too inflammatory and opinionated but I think most minorities) THAT DIDN'T HAVE A VICTUM MIND SET MY DADDY DON'T LIKE ARE RAISIN BABIES AND FUCKIN LIKE RABBITS YEEEEEHOOOOO.

Like....if it made no sense to keep demonizing the people who aren't like so called church approved gay trans native what have you, why not figure out what God says? NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON HAS BEEN TOLD BY GOD GAYS TRANSGENDERS AND ALL THE REST aren't accepted at the human level. When is it anywhere? I mean, I always hoped and wished I'd see this in person. Because "Wait, you didn't hear the good news about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?" Virgin birth or not, um he ended a lot of people's involvement with Judaism IDC if he was human or an immortal being whatever. They listened to him teach and preserved the message.

Here's what I was made to understand, personally. sodom and gomorrah, the wrath of the divine being we know as God wasn't men having sex with adult men. Men who were raised into homophobic lives went batshit crazy, and it was normal to have children work and what not. Guess what happened? They were somehow (the ones committing pedophilia of course) being overcome with the whatever it is that causes men to rape as a result of a power trip. Then they went well this is a small human, and I have this now and it's better than what they did have or could have. Children in sexual servitude? Oh level the city to the ground and turn who looks at it into useless BS that has no value and won't even stay standing. So how did we get away from that? Idk the Catholics have the methods of prayer the most spot on of them and Christianity idk about Judaism at all. The rest are close in their own ways, but ITS OLD MEN KEEPIN OLD MENS SECRETS AND THEY MIGHT NOT KNOW. THEY PROBABLY BELIEVE REALLY REALLY HARD IN STUFF.

If there's a God just fucking put whatever telepathy everyone found out about in all the nationalism funded research that all of the big countries I believe had something of. We had MK ultra! We still have shit tons of regular people just regular ole people who can do that shit just once in a while boom I did this drug I see you and sucks cause I'm getting all that info out somewhere. God bless who has the ability to communicate it. IM PRAYING FOR THE GROUP OF LITERAL PSYCHOPATHIC DEAD MENS BULLSHIT COMING OFF OF THE RELATIONSHIP THAT THE WORLD HAS WITH RELIGION. I know America is big and loud with these abortion restrictions. If I get pregnant fuck it idgaf who it was he fucking raped me, and I was going through torture. Jail time? Good, keep me with their dicks in jail instead anyway. Look at my logic there, with a few people on my side out loud I'd have instant ignorant support. If women literally just got the ability to restrict access to sexual intercourse like as a sudden attack we could mind fucks them into their own hell or prison after prison.

Maybe if religious bullshit is talked about....maybe this will have nothing to hurt the perpetuating politicians and officials and the whole supreme court at least who went yeah we can do this evil thing...dun dun, or just a little. Let it fizzle out and give up or till the bitter endz make history and be remembered as a random power money and more power hungry asshole with no repercussions or accountability. We will see! Oh, it only keeps going the way you want so long. We get away with a lot with our own people from any government level. It's like a unintentional motivation I think. They're gonna have these people either missing from history or another "THIS WAS ALMOST ANOTHER SLAVERY. FOR A LITTLE BIT IT WAS. LOOK AT THE AFFECTED PEOPLE! SHAME SHAME SHAME DONT SPEAK THEIR NAMES OUT LOUD EW."

I can only repeat it so many times. Maybe God will help, never know. Good big giant clear cut in all languages maybe even sign anyone and anything can see and go "oh good people are all people." Could happen. It'd be cool without the prophet going through the whole entire Bible type thing. I mean why was all of the old testament like....Noah had something to do with Jesus right? I don't remember. What was that? Why? It was a sadists story. God did a thing he never does too like wow ok, kill the girl children, you didn't! Good, I was wrong. UM NO. God made all the breathing things and the plants. No capacity for it. Who else was in there talking? Wtf? They didn't even keep a dinosaur that was small. So we have no mention anyhow. Like I have more opinions but they're too much of a thing you wanna stab a bigger version of church.

Also, if witchcraft is not good what are the Catholics doing on TV? Look up Norse pagans, find the deity Freya okay. Animals, she loves the animals it's tame and you can't deny it! Find me a simple little bit of a cleansing routine with one. Thing. To. Cleanse. With. Compare it to all the smoking shit and the hand motions and the oils and all of it. Sir, you're wearing stuff women were burned for dancing in around fire in Salem and doing LESS. What. Is. This. Shit.

[jack-owo-valentine]

autumnal asks - harvest, jack o lantern, and cider

jack-o-lantern - if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?

Idk if he counts but Tim Sutton on god. If not maybe like Ive Spice? I realize these are 2 VERY different answers but different people in here have different answers, main host says either of those tho (they're like a shape shifter)

cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?

I've grown 2 be much more of a picky eater over the years, more often then not I dislike more foods now than as a child (like veggies, most give me sensory issues now) But, I use 2 LOVE sweets as a kid (couldn't have candy or anything, diabetes and like- a "health" obessed father) So like the rare occasion I could I'd eat any and all, bit anymore a lotta stuff sweets wise I use 2 like just make me sick now or I simply find 2 sweet.

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

Oh. Anon, you poor sweet innocent thing. As Already stated shits fucked and I simply cannot choose one bc I have SO much 2 say.

So, I kin WAY 2 many people, I like lowkey dress them change whole aspects of myself bc of them kinda way of kin. So there's a couple of major ones, also being the most at different times from earliest 2 now:

1. Puppet & Mangle from FNAF

2. Ticci Toby

3. Will Cipher

4. Jack-O' Valentine

I have like 50 kins, it's a lot- these are some of the biggest and most important 2 me tho (also honorary mention 2 Tim Wright from Marble Hornets, I love him sm- why is everyone a coward 2 make bitches fat honestly. Tim Sutton (the actor who played Tim Wright) is so fucking valid and like- thank u sir for ur contributions 2 the world- anyway yea-)

SO, These fictional characters are here for a multitude of reasons,

1. As already stated main host is a shape shifter of sorts, and by that I specifically mean their a mirror that's reflects and refracts, also a doll, meaning they often times just- heavily imprint on characters, and like they can usually sway of its just reflecting vs it altering who they are, they can't likd- choose- but I digress anyway- main host has like lore? way 2 much lore actually- but they're a fictive- its complicated as hell, but they're a fictive of Will Cipher, but they didn't know that originally and a took a HOT minute 2 figure that out, cuz originally the body was way 2 into FNAF, and with how the body is and processes things- robots? fucking dead children souls in robots? a whole mood. Massive mood- especially w/ Puppet being regreful/vengeful and Mangle not rlly being alive in the way everyone else way- very r/iam14andthisisverydeep or whatever but idc, it helped me get through trauma and life and made me happy also the music from the community slaps. So those are the main reasons for mangle & puppet, like the main host literally being a doll (who sometimes has robot limbs, and oops I forgot 2 mention theyre mute and blind- they like have a voice box they just don't always like using it and the blind thing is a whole fucking story-) but yea voice box, being all fucked up physically and mentally? mood 10/10 can't wait for the fnaf movie (Also why those 2 instead of any others is bc like- this was really early on- like what literally only game 2- so maybe 2017? oh my god I'm old- anyway slightly off topic but toy Bonnie is gender as hell)

Ok uhh- Ticci Toby- OH my god the things 2 say, I didn't even mention in the lady part but tics n twitching??? such a thing for us. Especially the host. They cry a lot and generally get overstimmed really easily- and idk what exactly causes it but boy do they tick and twitch, also he's how we found out were trans so oops- um- idk his backstory is a like a mood, we share a decent amount of disorders- and generally his fanon (and maybe canon idk or care, like fuck kastoway) are pretty much a vibe 2 how the main host was for a while- and 2 some degree still is, there's def other reasons tho, like he was the most similar and human in the fandom, he also has a lotta features they really enjoy (curly brown hair, freckles (depending) that like almost sickly white- OH also hachets??? hello??? and his mask??? gender as fuck. Wish I looked that good oh my god. There's just so many reason, he was one of the first pastas I fell in love with, one of the first really I ever even saw. He's like- bi polar like me and idk, I just really enjoy that. He's got enough backstory so that he has a general vibe but hcs can run wild, and still fit. I really hate how childish he's treated tho, I love him as a kin bc he's childish but also not? he's not mature in the slightest but he's not stupid and definitely can hold his own, with lots of character depth. Also his fear of Cars gets more and more relatable (ive been nearly in so many accidents I refuse 2 get a license)

these aren't as on depth as I probably want them 2 be but I don't know I'm comfortable sharing

🖤🖤🎃 Jack-O' Valentine

Silly girl

so gender

so cool, she's got a sort of DID which we love, she's been multiple people and fucked and all these things but in the end she's happy and learning 2 he herself (whatever she decides that is) She fucking blew up Japan tho sorta? gg lore is something else- also Justice her previous form having a massive blue cock is infinitely funny (Justice is a massive mecha, totally pegged sol-) But yea, jacko loves halloween is like 70s inspired is motivating cute and generally such a good character? God. I could not reccomend a character and fandom more, gg is incredibly cool and diverse, and jacko's no different. she's diverse in other ways besides gender, race, identity, I mean she is a white (I think-) woman, probably bisexual idk, but she's got a lot of complexity 2 her w/ having identity issues n shit bc she's part a whole different person, who she was originally meant 2 be, but shit got fucky and ow that's Relatable, her tryna see the best in it all tho? love that- she's so silly as well it's great- and is loved by the person she was supposed 2 be's husband? who loves her for her? goals. also just- her kids so cool lmao I love dizzy-

I'm getting dizzy rn and need my meds hope this was enough for u xx

[elliemuze]

Honestly very weird to see people defend Aemond's actions or disparage the other children in that scene where he returns from claiming Vhagar.

[Disclaimer: I will concede he is a child here, and kids do dumb and/or fucked up shit. No child, imo, should be punished for something in the way an adult would be punished for the same offense.]

He snuck off to go claim Vhagar. He snuck off, because he knew it was wrong.

"hE wAs BuLLiEd!" He was needlessly cruel to two little girls who'd never said an unkind word to him in their life. All while speaking ill of their dead mother.

"iT wAs 4 oN oNe!" All four children were considerably smaller than him, and nowhere near as trained (if at all). Rhaena shoved him in an emotional reaction, to which he barely was staggered - cuz again, considerable size and strength difference. He threw her to the ground and tried to actually hurt her. It wasn't until he'd injured both girls that the other two boys stepped in. Given the context of the altercation as well? It was an honorable and necessary thing to do. They were protecting the girls and standing up for them. Or did you forget that Aemond also threatened to feed those girls to their dead mother's stolen dragon?

"jAcE dReW a KniFe!" Aemond was about to kill Jace's little brother with a fucking rock, all while hurling crazed threats and treasonous insults at them.

"aEmOnD lOsT aN eYe!" ...and? He escalated a situation he himself created, forcing the other children to defend themselves. If you're implying Luc fully intended to take Aemond's eye, you're actually guano. I PROMISE you a child of that age does not have the kind of forethought required to make such a play. Imagine you're a very smol fella, protecting your lady cousins from a violent lunatic, a violent lunatic who also happened to be one swipe away from spilling your brains into the dirt, and was now standing over your BROTHER, one swipe away from spilling HIS brains into the dirt. You actually think that little boy had any coherent thought whatsoever occupying his mind? He wasn't strategizing shit like: "ah, yes, best go for the eyes, ol chap - that'll slow him down AND serve him right!" At that point, Luc was just desperate and swinging for the fences. It didn't matter WHERE he struck Aemond, he just needed to connect and save his brother. Hell, that's the most overused kiddie trope in media, because it's fucking ACCURATE! "You'll shoot yer eye out, kid!" These tiny humans are constantly poking each other in the eyes with various accoutrements in the course of some wild ass shenanigans, and it's always an accident because they're KIDS and they don't THINK and they don't GRASP the permanence of this sorta thing.

And now, another disclaimer, because my mother also passed away when I was around the girls' age, perhaps a bit older. My mother, like Laena, was a kind, brave, and loving person. So, maybe all this makes me a bit biased, or maybe it even gives me a uniquely qualified insight. You decide. But let me tell you something. If anyone - ANYONE (be it child or grown ass adult, idc) - stole my mother's dragon, the dragon I was meant to claim, on the day of her funeral, I'd tear out their jugular with my teeth.

Fuck Aemond.