#id maybe even go so far as to call it ' performative '

[goodnightwindy]

just got the tumblr blackout post on my dash again ugh

[freakinator]

Hi Citrus, so sorry I'm having to send this ask through you but that anon (https://wwwtumblrcom/freakinator/769445402005176320) HAS PISSED ME OFF SO BAD and I can't beef with them directly Like I'm pretty sure this is a new gen LS fan, because on god this had been an ongoing issue since at the very least s4 and some of the members that got called out the most for that sorta shit was Subz, Vitalasy and I'm pretty sure Mapicc too so newflash dickhead you're wrong. Fuck, even Zam has done some ableist shit with pirate!zam and the gay joker Then bringing out Gothel, prev anon let me tell you this as someone who grew up handling ableism due to being heavily neurodivergent, infantalizing someone is absolutely a form of it and intentionally or not Kab's performance manages to hit the nail straight on the head to the point it's common for me to be physically uncomfortable during her yaps with Zam (which does force me to take breaks during which i mute the stream) because a LOT of what she says is rhetoric I've had thrown in my face and yeah it's still triggering to this day the reason a ton of this is getting shined onto ls!Kab is because a ton of people like you anon, are trying so so hard to brush it under the rug and claim "oh it's normal manipulation, she's just messing with his emotions" and cry this sorta shit to avoid taking a deeper or critical look, so maybe it would do you good to examine yourself in a mirror before trying to chastise someone else.

You shouldn't be trying to excuse this, you shouldn't be sticking your head so far up your own ass to justify a character doing shitty actions, like I legit want to know what the fuck were you thinking by trying to excuse her dragging him into teams, her trying to take decisions for him, banking on his paranoia so he lets shit go, expecting complete dependence on her from his side, constantly attributing his actions to someone else, writing him off as an easy target since there is no retribution... because that's also an issue on it's own, the fact that ls!Kab only pulls this shit on Zam, you know, the character that for seasons has been a victim of ableism (being called schizophrenic, psychotic, considered unable to make his own decisions) Anon I legit hope you get better as a person And Citrus, I hope these anons leave you alone jfc you're more patient than me

this was sent before anons apology but im deciding to post it anyway cause it encapsulates why so many ppl on tumblr have such a problem with ls!kabs behaviour and id like to link it whenever i have to explain myself for the hundredth time this week

[toxifoxx]

wait so how did they go about hiding it from the public like huh. did they just pretend he WASN'T pregnant and rolled a nat 20 on deception or whatever so everyone believed them? <- they call me the intriguerrr

HEHEHE im glad you asked

so first of all i think william had a good few months before anyone could notice that he's pregnant. mainly because it takes like 5 months before you can really tell (as far as ive noticed from the pictures ive seen), but since william is fat, he could probably make it a bit further than that without it being noticable. id say like maybe month 6 or 7 but sadly theres not a lot of references for how it'd look (the amount of fatphobic slop ive waded through trying to research this… anyways, i think its most noticeable when the spine really starts arching(?))

but i digress! william would insist on continuing to perform until the suit gets too tight (dangerous) for him. month 4ish. someone else would perform for him, or springbonnie would just stay in animatronic mode. but he can still go about his normal life for a while, its when he starts to show that it becomes a problem for him - so for the most part, he's withdrawing from the public eye. he hates having to keep hidden like this but his reputation is the most important thing to him and ofc he cant have people figuring out hes trans and queer.

henry covers for him, while he might not be great at doing social things, most people are intimidated enough they dont ask him whats up with william - or they get a short, simple excuse from him. as for how clara would cover for him, well, its a bit harder to answer. but since its utah, and william is well respected, i think a lot of people wouldn't even realize if they saw him. he could lie to their faces. like oh yeah he's a man and men cant get pregnant theres noooo way that can happen, no sir.

regardless he's only really going to be doing things behind the scenes to minimize the possibility anyone finds out. so he comes in early in the morning, does some work before any employees arrive or just stays in his office doing paperwork all day (maybe changes up the schedule so he gets to work on the animatronics too, he'd go crazy if he couldn't i think), then leaves early so no one catches him. kinda sucks but you do what you gotta do (william is so incredibly antsy and ready to get back to things already by the end of it)

and i guess technically yeah, they rolled a nat 20 on deception. pulled some leafpool from warriors type shit.

quick clarification at the end here. lizzie was born 2-3 years before fredbears opens - so, i think he would stop working at that time and just do the isolating stuff. but since william also had evan, after fredbears opened, this still applies. its just that evan isn't henry's, LMAO.

[noys-boise]

very interested in hearing more about hungarian rent!!! were there any notable bits you liked about it? id love to see rent performed one day, so jealous!

this is probably gonna be long I'm sorry but I've been wanting to rant (pun not intended) about this since sunday

so first of all i feel like i should mention this isn't the first time there's been a hungarian production of rent. they did a run in 2003, which even got a cast recording, it just simply wasn't? very good? like i wasn't even born yet so i didn't see it but I've listened to the songs and the translations ranged from fine to just straight up atrocious and questionable (such as accidentally implying that Mimi thinks her dad has hot hands and almost completely removing the love part of seasons of love which feels like it would be the entire point??) i think most of the problems stemmed from a random older hungarian guy doing the translations. i doubt that man was qualified for a show like rent in anyway

but flash forward to 2024. the redemption. the miracle. on december 14th and december 15th, they performed rent in hungarian for the first time in over a decade and i happened to be there on the latter of the two performances (important to mention hungarian theatres will not play a show every day, you have to check for specific dates so it's normal that they only performed it twice so far)

I was completely blown away. it felt like it was done by people who fully understand what rent is. I couldn't even tell you one favorite part so I'm just going to praise this show for several paragraphs now.

first of all, my biggest issue with the first attempt at hungarian rent and my biggest issue with most hungarian shows: the translation. i never thought I'd hear a hungarian translation of a musical i love, let alone of RENT of all things, but i swear i don't have a single lyric to complain about. notably, the translator, Cseh Dávid Péter, also played Roger. btw something i loved is a lot of background workers such as the set designer and social media manager and etc were also in the ensemble, but the moment i found out Cseh Dávid Péter translated the entire show, after seeing his performance as Roger REALLY surprised me because by the way he's also a phenomenal actor and an even better singer. My mouth was literally agape during One song glory without exaggaration.

but I don't want to praise just him even though he quickly became one of my favorite actors I'm not going to lie, the entire cast was great. extra shoutout to Ekanem Bálint and Pásztor Ádám for the sheer amount of Collins-Angel chemistry they had because i swear, Collins was doing literal heart eyes anytime he looked at Angel it's SO adorable. I also want to mention that in an extreme white majority country they still managed to find a Black actor to play Collins and he was perfect, so I find that very cool, I never see actors of color in hungarian theatre normally. okay maybe one nitpick i have with the cast, Joanne's actress (can't remember her name rn) didn't quite hit all the high notes which left me a tiny bit underwhelmed but that's maybe because I love Tracie Thoms so much I don't think anyone will live up to her for me.

okay so here's some truly random bits that stuck with me:

Mimi cat coding has always been a big part of rent for me but in this had Maureen dog coding, which i guess there's a bit of in the original at the beginning of act 2 but this translation had more of that. like in tango Maureen, they call her a dog that's salivating for the bone as a metaphor for her promiscuity

I cannot stop thinking of this bit of costume design, after Angel's death, Roger was wearing a shirt that said "I believe in angels"

in contact, the last thing Angel does while dying is reach out for Roger and Mimi's hands and unites them

this isn't really a fun fact within the show itself, more just about it, but Gadó Anita and Cseh Dávid Péter, who played Mimi and Roger, are together in real life, which i think is really cool

when Roger plays his guitar in La vie boheme, instead of saying "that doesn't remind us of Musetta's waltz" Mark says "Puccini is rolling in his grave" which i found funny

i can't really think of more to add right now but yeagh hungarian rent good 👍👍👍 and it's really special that they even could do this show in hungary, given the current political climate around lgbt+ representation in media. they did an amazing job though, none of it felt toned down or censored at all, the lyrics were also as direct as in the original, it felt great

[torveiglyart]

The more I think about my hobbies and achievements (or lack thereof), the weirder I realize my life is. I had never really thought about some of these things until as of recent, specifically when someone introduced to another as "cool". Like what.

First things first that I've talked about on here is I'm an oboe player. Which is already a kind of "different" instrument to play. And, actually, I've been third chair in the All-District wind ensemble for grades 11-12. So there's that.

Another thing I tend to tell people /if prompted/ is I'm a nationally recognized Scottish Highland dancer. I placed third in the southeast regionals and qualified to perform in Las Vegas along with everyone else who qualified across the country. This one is kinda like my "fun fact" during ice breakers 'cause it's something I know won't be repeated.

I'm a digital artist, as you all know, but I also do traditional art often. A few of my paintings in my portfolio helped me score a spot in NCSU's ID program. Maybe one day I'll scan them and post here.

I'm a singer. This one goes multiple ways as in: HS choir, church choir, musical theatre, and bands. I just like singing and got blessed with a nice voice... I think.

I can bake and decorate very well. As in won a cookie decorating contest at the NC State Fair well. That was a good year for me :). But it's also the perfect ganache every time kind of good. I guess the same can be said about cooking given no meal I've made has gone wrong or tasted bad. I seriously hope it stays that way.

This next one only partially counts because while I'm not /fluent/ by any means, I can somewhat comfortably hold a conversation in a few languages. French, Spanish, Japanese, and, strangely enough, Swahili, are languages I've worked on since uhhhh... I don't know at this point. And I've since added Scottish Gaelic to that list to work on. Languages just fascinate me and I plan to travel A LOT when I get the money to do so.

I do archery in my free time. Often enough I have my own bow and arrows. It’s fun. And last time I went to an actual range I never missed a target which I’m totally bragging here but it’s also just a fun activity to get anger out, you know?

Back to the musical theatre thing, I actually was called back for an audition to enroll at UNCSA, but did not make it. And back in freshman year, I did this whole Society Performers multi-class thing, but cut it short to work on my studies. So while I probably could have gone into theatrics, I don't think that would have been the best choice for me.

An going further back to the instruments, I can also play piano, ukulele, and clarinet, but lessons are those were far fewer than oboe.

Time for the weirder stuff.

I definitely have ADHD, and so does my dad, but we're both undiagnosed so let's just not go there.

I can't whistle or roll my tongue. People always seem really surprised by this one but it's not like I'm in a tiny percentage with that one.

I'm nearsighted in one eye and far sighted in the other, and I also only require one contact lense/prescription. Actually let's call this the whacky section.

I'm allergic to celery. Yes, celery. And only that. Not pollen, not pets, not dust, not even ragweed, but celery. And only when it's raw. Cooked in a dish? Fine. Raw in a salad? Cotton-mouthed and itchy. Not terribly sad about it though.

I can't ride a bike. Like, I know how to in theory, but I just never had a bike growing up. My older sister's always had a flat tire, and by the time my younger brother got one, I was too big to ride it. So I scooter instead :).

I have perfect pitch, as in I hear a pitch, and can tell you the note it is, and can tell you what key a song is originally in and sing it. I would get in trouble a lot as a kid for "picking a fight" with my siblings by telling them, "it actually goes like this," and then changing the key they were singing in. While many find this cool or helpful, unless you're a music student or something, it's actually annoying. The car radio is always a few microtones sharp and there's nothing I can do to make it in tune. My choir teacher would also have me sing the starting pitch for songs, no tuner, which was nerve-wracking.

WOW this was just me ranting (bragging) lol, sorry about that, but hey! Now you know more about me!

If you have any questions or comments, don't be afraid to ask! Or, y'know, do the whole asks thing. I think I changed the icon for that but I'm not sure.

[alakazamboni]

New Work: Dream Dial

Hee hee hee. Hoo hoo hoo. Coming in at just over 16,000 words, the first part of Dream Dial is finally posted. Follow along as Reigen must navigate a dream-like, hauntingly empty world. If you like amnesia tropes, come swing by and take a look.

↓ First chapter included below. ↓

Work was work as always. People would call, Arataka would answer, perform his customer service script, and attempt to land a sale. It admittingly wasn’t the most luxurious job in the world, but it was honest enough. Beat being homeless, anyway.

“And is that all I can help you with this evening?”

“Yes, thank you, sir.”

“It is no problem, ma’am,” Arataka rambled on. That was another commission in the bag. A nice, extra three-thousand yen. Nothing to sneeze at. “I hope you get to feeling better.”

“Oh, bless you,” the woman gushed.

“Bye, now.”

“Bye.”

With a loose pop and snap of his wrist, Arataka dropped the phone on its hook with a hearty plastic clunk. Some odd little blip of heat was bubbling up in his gut, but Arataka just chalked it up to excitement. He was only three sales away from breaking his previous record. That, in his mind, was cause enough to celebrate.

The phone rang again, and he answered. Recognizing the name on the Caller ID, Arataka flipped through his notebook. He could have sworn he sold something to this guy last week. “Can you hold for a moment, please?”

“Yeah,” the man answered.

He turned through his pages, scanning the column of names and numbers. Ah! There he was. “Are you calling about the order you placed on Thursday?”

“Yes, I am!” The man seemed pleasantly surprised that Arataka had remembered. “I was wondering if I could get it delayed.” Arataka nodded along as the man chatted about the vacation he was about to go on. It sounded nice. Arataka wanted to go on a vacation, too.

“I totally understand, sir,” Arataka said. “I will relay your message to our shipping department. They will call you if they run into any issues.”

“You’re sure it’s not too much trouble?”

“Oh, of course not, sir.” Arataka smiled, letting the gesture warm his voice. “Please enjoy your vacation.”

“I will. Thank you!”

“No problem. Goodbye.”

“Bye.”

Pleased by the job well done, Arataka leaned back in his chair. It felt good to help people with their problems, and even nicer to think that somewhere out there, he improved someone’s life. Was it a little nihilistic? Possibly. But it was what kept Arataka going.

Just then, out of nowhere, nauseating heat flooded his senses. It swelled in his chest, flowing like magma just beneath his ribs. He sat up in surprise, only to find that straightening his back shot the pain straight into his skull. Hugging his stomach, he leaned forward and groaned heavily.

This was abnormal, right? He held his hand in front of his face, watching as his fingers trembled. Yep. Definitely abnormal. Shit. Was it something he ate?

The phone rang. Arataka eyed it. One more customer, he decided. And if the pain didn’t let up, he’d go to the doctor.

Mind made, he reached out and unhooked the phone from the receiver. “Thank you for calling customer service. One moment, please.” Sitting up as far as he dared, he listened to the caller laugh nervously. It was a strangely familiar voice. Maybe this was someone he’s helped before.

Pinching the phone between his ear and shoulder, Arataka grabbed his pen but paused. The Caller ID read ‘Unknown’. The call back number was blank. Huh. That’s never happened before.

“Okay, sir. Sorry for the wait,” he said, ignoring the way the fever was crawling and settling into his cheeks and head. “Can I ask who’s calling?”

“Uh- it’s me,” the voice answered.

Arataka rolled his eyes, but moved on. “And can I ask what number is best to call you back on?”

“Are you joking?”

Ah. It was going to be one of those customers, then. His head felt like it was being hollowed out, so Arataka decided it would be best not to not argue. “Right. And how can I help you today?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Are you calling to place an order?”

“No.”

“Then, are you trying to schedule an appointment?”

“…” The caller paused in thought. “I guess so.”

“Perfect.” Arataka got ready to transfer the client. “Can I ask who you’re trying to reach?”

“Um… you.”

Full stop. No questioning up tilt in the caller’s pitch. No uncertainty. It was strange, to say the least. “I’m terribly sorry,” Arataka deflected. “I don’t meet with clients. If you want, you can describe what you’re looking for, and I’m sure I can find someone who can help you.”

“No-no,” the voice insisted. “Here… hold on a moment.”

The phone beeped, and the call ended. Dumbly, Arataka listened to the dial tone for a moment before placing it back on the hook. The fever was fading, and his head was clearing. All but extinguished, the bubbling, churning, furious heat now settled into a tame warmth.

An attack of some sort, Arataka figured. A hot flash, maybe? He’s heard of people getting those sometimes. Staring at the now silent phone, Arataka decided he should go to a doctor anyway… just in case.

[sillybeansss]

YOU MENTIONED YOUR SCHOOL DID WHAT????, MUSICALS????,STARTS LAUHING MANIACALLY (i am so jealous of you…what do you mea your school does musicals?? how come mine doesnt do that…)

also, yeahh, i can understand how the kids can ruin the school. not going to lie, i used to hate my school a lot to the point i would constantly talk about transferring. i merely dislike it now, ive sort of made peace with the fact that this has to be my school for at least one more year before i move…

it was mostly the kids. i was constantly getting teased and im not the best with ridicule. but i dont really hang around those people anymore and just keep to myself so. and i have made a few friends which i am proud of!!

though that isnt exactly the only reason. i just really dislike the principle, staff and school system overall. the only part of the staff i like are probably the afterschool…supervisors??? dunno what to call them. also the lunch ladies are nice. AND THE TEACHERSSSS I ALWAYS GET SO ATTACHED TO THE TEACJER HUT I WILL ADMIT SOME TEACHERS ARE ALSO HORRIBLE!!! like my math teacher!!! she was kind of my whole downfall but i wont get into that. sorry to hear the kids at your schools are jerks though!! it happens at times, really the best thing to do is ignore them. surround yourself with good people and stuff! 

omgg…the lower campus of my school had an auditorium and we were supposed to perform an end of the year play and. GUESS WHAT. IT NEVER HAPPENED???? I HAD ONE OF THE MAIN ROLES TOO. not that i wanted it, because i was an ungrateful brat and i wanted something with a little less lines but i guess it didnt matter in the end. SIGHH. 

annie and charlie brown are amazing though i wish i could see them…ough,,, the things one wants the most 💔

ooh ive heard of band!!! i think i have a couple of band kid friends…or at least one…and yall are living my dream not going to lie. the only instrument i can play is the flute but its alright because were there to learn amirite…(id probably get so embarrassed for messing up once but its alright i would still love it)

and can i just say i LOVE THE SAX??!?! I LOVE SAXOPHONES SO MUCH…too bad i cant play any wood wind instrument that isnt the flute (and i lost the hook)…or any instrument at all…

maybe i should pick up piano but im really lazy

ive only ever seen one musical but im really fixated on it (i think im slowly losing said fixation though due to hetalia. uh oh) and it was AMAZING(??? it was so cool i loved it im so glad i was introduced to musicals with that specific one…ALSO DONT WORRY ABOUT YAPPING!!! im yapping even more so really i should be the one feeling guilty here…um. sorry,,,

ALSO!!! good luck on your next concert!!!! i hope it goes tremendously well :D

(again, wish i were there to see it 💔)

~🫶🏽🎳

Im happy school has become less of a hate and more of a dislike but i wanna say I'm proud of you for making it so far already dude!! :3 hopefully things will gradually get better and WHAT!!! WHY WOULD THEY NOT DO IT THAT'S SO LAMEE!!!! I bet you would've done great in that role dude

And I think you should pursue piano tbh I play percussion I'm not the best at keyboard percussion/piano stuff but it looks fun and I'm sure with some practice you'll be able to figure out the notes and try playing songs yk? Starts small and simple and continue gradually!! Instruments take time and lots of practice but I understand what you mean about being lazy I think the only reason why I'm not so good about keyboard percussion is because I don't practice too often,,,

And the guys at my school SUCKKKK but I do try to ignore them when I can they just get under my skin/make me pissed off but my friends make school worth it yk? I try and be open-minded about school when I can cause optimism usually makes me happy (obv I think)

And Annie was the first musical I've seen irl it was FIREEE Oml I loved the music!! ^_^ and personally my favorite musical is Heather's,,, I think its just cause it was one of the first musical I heard about and it's stuck with me for YEARS!!!

[charlesdesvoeux]

terror rewatch time!!! i'll be using this post to comment on ep. 8 "terror camp clear" block the tag terrorwatch2 if you'd like :-)

fitzier drinking out of the same canteen. closest they've come to kissing (so far)

id forgotten jfj calls francis "brother" first, as he starts to recount his family story. also how crozier counters him saying he's a fake by saying that biographers could tally up his acts of valor.... but it's not about that, it's not about the Official History, it's not about the things the great men write in the memoirs- it's about the truth, and the memoirs written by men like john ross are about performance and conforming to certain expectations, not about Truth. They're about spinning a narrative. James has been spinning a narrative about himself his entire adult life, and as he lies agonizing in the edge of life, in the edge of "civilization", he's tired of lies.

"james fitzjames. like a bad pun" I love you forever.

obviously they're suffering. like. a lot. but if they hadn't reached that distance from "civilization" perhaps jfj would never have confronted himself with the truth of his shame and vanity. we need all these trappings of "respectable" society to be washed away before we can reach a fundamental truth about ourselves. you know. "we have reached the end of vanity" "then you are free"

"irving and farr's bodies were put through something I can't even find English words for" so of course- the evil savages must be blamed. but no, lieutenant hodgson- this was a crime done by English hands.

hickey SPINNING A WHOLE YARN which he used to commit an act of unspeakable cruelty towards the inuit family...... man you should've been an actor. also the clear anger on his face when jopson interrupts him and the way he TRIES TO SPIN THE CAPTAIN'S SUMMONING as something he was already gonna do anyway..... you're so fucking terrible.

"they're going to build a proper perimeter with or without us" poor ned being caught between a rock and a hard place. "they ARE us edward" no they're not..... they've never been.... you've never acted like they were.... and sergeant tozer needs to keep his men safe....

bridglar :-(((( clinging desperately to the idea that each will be fine....

the scene with the netsilik party is so heartbreaking. nive nielsen is outstanding.

des voeux you are such an insane despicable little shithead. also easily my favorite terror tertiary character. transparent fucking liar.

sol's smile bc its just such a blatant lie and then "damn it all". yes sol you just did.

hodgson being like "well maybe I fucked it up. maybe I just helped to kill a bunch of innocent people" i mean yes hodge you did. also "all we have are our instincts and training" is imo a line that tells us a lot about ned. and then he relays the story about like his relative and the supposed attack by the "savage" comanche as a way to reassure himself.

and poor ned. they're already armed, they're not gonna fucking relinquish their weapons. all he can do is kinda sign off on it to preserve some sense of order- a SENSE of order, but no, not actual order- that was long gone.

when collins is high walking through the camp he reaches out to hug another guy.... I feel like he's so desperate for a chance to connect with another human being, to feel fully human again :-(

goodsir and silna.... goodsir desperately clinging the idea that this isn't who they are, this isn't what they are.....

billy is already looking half fucking dead here. "you'll have the entire rest of your long lives...." but I mean. do we think at this point billy was already aware that he wasn't long for this world? like. his symptoms were only really REALLY bad later but he was clearly already sick. and they hadn't planned on taking goodsir afaik. or were they already sure they'd kidnap him?

godddd hodge and little during irving's autopsy. and I must once again advance my idea that there's a parallel between "worst kind of sorry" and "worst kind of second"

"put one of the mates in charge of the armory" and jfj instantly going "des voeux" like. there was some trust there!!!! and oh boy it was entirely unearned. I mean. maybe not entirely but at that point charles was NOT IT.

HICKEY JUST LYING THERE WITH HIS HAND ALMOST REACHING INTO HIS PRICK AND HIS ARM CUSHIONING HIS HEAD LIKE HES SOME KIND OF PLAYBOY COVER GIRL. BEATIFIC SMILE AND FUCKY EYES. SORRY HE JUST SERVES TOO MUCH CUNT.

"He would have burned through you like fuel, lied to you and used you to your last muscle" and well. turns out crozier was right.

the expression on sol's face when they realize actually hickey killed irving. very interesting. but it's kind of a sunken cost fallacy right??? he's already invested too much on this damn mutiny to back off now. and besides- if he stays there, he'll be executed. so yeah this guy you trusted just killed two other guys in cold blood but you can't back out now so.

E.C'S SHITTY LITTLE IRISH ACCENT OH MY GOD. HE SAID I NEED TO SERVE CUNT IN MY EXECUTION AND HE DID.

"edward, that's your name, isn't it? edward" aaaaaaa this is so cool and so important. ranks don't matter anything now. not a goddamn thing. also tommy saving his love ❤️

the look of terror on sol's face as he watches collins' soul be consumed by tuunbaq. DAVID WALMSLEY THE ACTOR THAT YOU ARE

[mx-matched-knickknacks]

HERE WE GO [Under the Read More cause I already know it's gonna be loong LMAO]

Bfbfvegege maybe I am praising him too much in this and yeah maybe someday I'll go back to this post and cringe, but hell, lifes short and the internet is forever, right? I don't really go on Autism rants about my interests often, so if your looking for trouble simply keep scrolling thank you very muchh 💚💚 (and im sorry if anything written comes off as rude, that is not my intention i promise)

Well... here we are. I think it's fitting that now, at the end of this era, I write one big love letter to Joost and this fanbase hahaha XD

As many of us approach knowing of Joost for HALF A YEAR (holy shit, already?!) and we finally get the answer that he's not going back to ESC next year, I can't help but be nostalgic :•}

Obviously getting really into this Dutch artist was not expect haha, but ohh what a ride it's been so far. And because of TikTok of all things XD As an American fan, finding him was purely by chance, but I'm ever so grateful I did. Ive spent so much of my freetime watching the live Europapa performence over and over and over again, folding and cutting and glueing those cute little paper dolls of him, scrolling endlessly on TT for every little bit of love shown, watching every interview and live performance hes done (and all the concerts he played at!!!)... and also spending maybe a little bit too much money shipping Chrome Magazine over to the US lol ^^; This probably wont sound like much to you, but this one man somehow managed to disrupt my ongoing 4 year streak of a different special interest! How about that!!!

Now... ive seen both wonderful and absolutely terrifying things from this fanbase, if im gonna be totally honest... ^^; but overall id say my experience has been pretty good! Obviously I have not interacted with ppl within this space much (as often happens with my interests sadly) but yall who do act right are pretty damn cool and extremely talented !!!!! (And huuge shoutout to those who work hard to translate from Dutch to English too, like JoostSubs on twt!!!!) ^^ This kind of creativity is what Joost wants to inspire!! Remember that!!! And I do want to take more steps into being more active in the fanbase in the future <3

Now about Joost himself...

I don't think I've ever know of anyone who's star shines as bright as his. Through time and turmoil he remains steadfast and ever so kind to those around him (almost to a fault). With his friends; Stuntje, Apson, Lyon, Tantu, Donnie, Alanis (and all the rest of em!) He's shown incredible amounts of love and care for :'•) Even after becoming such a big name worldwide, he still remained in a state where he can still do what he loves with the ones he cherishes most and that's just so damn wonderful to me 💙💙💙 His pure unadulterated silliness, his infectious joy and positivity, and how he unabashingly is himself no matter where he goes are qualities i really do look up to in him. Just the most wonderful guy I've ever seen whos sooo full of whismy...

Though I can't relate personally to the meanings behind most of his songs, I don't think that prohibits me from still appreciating just how much heart and soul he puts into them. And seeing all the people who have been helped and felt heard bc of his music... it just makes me very happy, yknow? Is that so cringe to feel?

I don't wanna talk as much about his disqualification and that interview he did earlier today (for not focusing too much on the negative), but I do firmly believe that he was treated extremely unfairly just in general by... certain groups (you know the ones). I will say that I am very glad Tantu called them out tho 😁😁. The decision of not going to ESC 2025 being last minute did sort of surprise me tbh. Maybe one day he'll release the song he made for next years ESC, but it did seem to cause all of them a lot of ultimately unneeded stress... so I wouldn't be surprised if that's something released in the far future. I really do hope that Joost and his friends can spend good time healing from everything that has happened since May, whatever way they find suitable.

I don't think I'll be leaving this fanbase anytime soon (or will be able to LOL), but as we reach sunset of this "Europapa" Era, I want to say:

Gabberland Era here we come!!!

Love Always Wins #LAW

Unity forever and ever 💙💙💙

#JoostKlein2025

Be normal, be healthy

No matter where this future takes us, I'll be forever grateful to have Joost in my life 💚💚💚💚💚

Ty for reading my silly rant :'•} mwah mwah

Lord help me I'm about to type up all my thoughts about Joost after that interview 🙏🙏 /lh

[s4kasaki]

Hellooo, I really liked your wataru hc! May I request for one where wataru helps his s/o to fall asleep either because they're stressed or afraid over something?

me trying to take a soft approach to things? impossible.. THIS IS QUITE FAR FROM THE REQUEST..?? I can't tell.. it can be seen in multiple ways , hopefully the way you have it idéals

♡︎ — oh, my darling…

‣ tw/cws: none!

‣ reader: gender neutral - they/them

‣ authors note: waaHH

You knew staying up late was bad for your health, and it affects how you perform every day and how it was always so blatantly obvious to others when you didn't sleep… forcing people to care, you felt bad but It couldn't be helped. Wataru was simply worried, why would you need to hide anything from him? He couldn't understand it, but he’d never push you about it.

He was your boyfriend after all. So he let you do your work, fully aware that you stayed up until the point of exhaustion… and he could only sigh in disappointment and concern. Had he ever tried to get you to tell him your problems? Of course, he did, you said things were fine, as usual.

You still didn’t expect to be standing in front of the bedroom door right now, as if it wasn't also your room as much as it was Wataru’s. Honestly, you feel kind of embarrassed for just finally deciding to seek out your lover and at such a late hour in the first place. But, you really couldn’t help it. You had a horrible dream earlier, it was more like a nightmare of you losing everything you worked so hard to build together. Losing Wataru was an essential part of the so-called nightmare and was what was the worst, you were over-thinking your worth and capability. Leading your heart splitting in half, and shattering you altogether. In your dreams, Watari and others had called you names. They weren’t the usual names he called you, each filled with malicious intent and pure venom. The Wataru in your dreams was the complete opposite of the sweet caring jester you fell in love with.

The Wataru from your dream had left you an empty shell after he left you.

And so here you are in front of the shared bedroom door, your hand clenched on your chest as you debated whether or not to knock on his door or just try to finally put aside all this work and just sleep. Taking a shaky breath, you raise your hand that was resting on your chest and gently knock on the door. A couple of seconds pass and you hear a loud stirring inside the bedroom

You let out a huff and run a hand through your hair. Maybe you’re being delirious, dumb even. Of course Wataru wouldn’t forget about you. You just had a dumb dream and you should just get over it. You look at his door again before turning to go back to your room, mentally yelling at yourself for overreacting over such a sleep deprived dumb dream.

However, you stop walking when you hear the door creak open and a very awake voice call out for you.

“Darling? What's the matter?” Wataru’s voice called out, a tanned hand underneath his shirt to scratch at his chest. One of his eyes was still shut while the other squinted at you, examining you as if you were some special artifact. “Did you need something~?” Suddenly, both of his eyes shot open. “Oh, dear! Why were you crying? I can see the tears smearing your beautiful face... You look exhausted.”

Well there was no getting out of it now, you thought. He saw the tears, there was clearly a problem and this time you would not be backing away from yelling him, he wasn't going to allow you try it either. “No… okay, well yes! I wanted to check up on you after I had a bad dream regarding us and everyone else, but I see that I was the idiot in thinking that anything bad would actually happen between us.”

At this, Wataru’s face softens. “You had a bad dream, and you came to me? Oh my, sweet dove.”

You cross your arms and give him a look. “You’re my boyfriend, of course, id come to you first! You told me that if I ever felt scared or anything… I can just call for you or go to you.”

Wataru smiles at this, causing your cheeks to warm up a bit. You’re about to tell him that you’re fine now and decide on going to bed after countless days of overworking yourself with the only energy you got being from sources such as energy drinks, but a warm hand reaches for your own and tugs you towards him. Before you know it, you're whisked into the bedroom and onto his bed.

You feel his arms around your waist, and he pulls you closer to him, your back pressing firmly against his chest. You’re about to protest, but Wataru’s moving to rest his forehead against your shoulder stops you.

“I don’t know what happened specifically… But I assure you I won’t ever do anything to you,” he says to you, his voice oddly quiet and tender for a moment like this. “I told you, when you’re ever scared you can always come to me! Or call my name, and I promise you I’ll be there for you. I’m the Great Hibiki Wataru, so of course, I’ll do what I can to secure you.” You snort at the last bit, but feel better at his reassuring words.

Before you know it, you’re dozing off again. Feeling Wataru’s arms around you, hearing his beating heart thud against his chest as he held you, and the soft and comforting words and promises were all enough to bring you a sense of comfort and belonging, and you couldn’t help but let your eyes flutter close and your breathing even out.

[dynananarmy]

REPUTATION|| Min Yoongi

Summary:

You were in the top. There was no person in the world who didn't know your name, either for your success or your reputation, believing that the only thing you should do is smile, be a good girl, don't force your opinions on people, and NOT for any reason deny the dating rumors. But then a gummy smile and a sweet accent came to change all your believe system, from a friends with benefits to falling in love, you encounter a new fear: would he love you despite your reputation

Pairings: Idol!Min Yoongi(SUGA) x singer!reader   

Warnings: distorted body image and unwarranted fear of gaining weight. Unhealthy habits like starvation, underage alcohol consuption. Mild smut and age gap (Yoongi is 25 and reader is 20) but everything is consensual). If i miss something please let me know.

Gorgeous

You should take it as a compliment That I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk You should think about the consequence Of your magnetic field being a little too strong And I got a boyfriend, he's older than us He's in the club doing, I don't know what You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much

You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have Guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats Alone, unless you wanna come along, oh

Anxiety was a familiar feeling, a daily occurrence even before you knew how to call it. The constant fear of making the wrong move, not filling everybody's expectations. But it never gets easier, walking a red carpet was nerve wracking at 20 like it was when you were 13, but expectations were higher, every single album need it to be different, different  sound, different style, you need it to be more mature but not to sexy because then you were to provocative for kids who follow you, but not to demure because then you are a prim. And then, you were too fat, and then too skinny, or you would have the nice flat stomach that people expect but you didn't have the hourglass figure. So everything you stand in an outfit risky enough for you, you would shake like a leaf, praying that the apple and the water that you had eaten would not somehow make you look bloated. That you contour was blended, that the powder under your eyes would not flash in camera. 

You were about to promote your second single of your album, a song who was for a ex manager and ended up seeing as a call out for war for a singer whom you were friends but ended up splitting ways when she started dating an ex boyfriend, an ex boyfriend that you don't actually love but it was still awkward going out with the new girlfriend of your ex. Your team takes it as publicity, even if there was not an actual feud, good or bad, publicity is publicity, and so the music video only seems to spark even more fire. Still you invited all of your friends, friends that you met through other friends, in fashion shows or while performing in lingerie runways, the kind of friends that you partied with in your mansion in Coney Island or the one in Malibu. But that only sends a spark of worry, appearing in a music video with models with perfect bodies only makes you even more insecure about your own, and you were scared about what people would think about it.

A tug in your arm pulled you out of the dazed of the camera's flash and your thoughts, Calum King was a producer, a handsome embodiment of masculinity, a strong build body, a short beard, barely there but enough to let you know that he was a man. He was older than you by a lot, not enough to be scandalous but enough to raise a few eyebrows.

 He smile and you copied and hold his arm to the cameras, the lady assisting the red carpet gesture you to move and once you were out of the sight of the camera you let a shaky breath a pound in the head and the emptiness of your stomach make you feel dizzy and your publicist move quickly, holding a hard candy to you.

“Are you okay?” Calum asks, still holding you, you nod immediately and put the candy in your mouth.

“I´m good, the lights make me feel light headed but nothing that a little bit of sugar does´n fix” you say tasting the candy, feeling a little bit less tired, he nods but his sight was already far away from you. 

“Baby, i´m going to say hello to a few friends, I¨ll see you in our seats, okay?” He doesn't wait for an answer, his manager following behind, you let a sigh of relief, relieved that you don't have to keep pretending anymore, Calum and you met a few months ago while visiting a friend of your to the studio, a paparazzi saw you having coffee and after that you kept seeing each other, he would be your date in events and to the world, you were official, but you didn't even be intimate,barely hold hands while walking in the streets, or kiss each other more than a few pecks when winning a prize, but even that, it felt forced. Your publicist looks away from her phone to look at you and gives you an indifferent look.

“A new korean band is in here, apparently they are very famous and are contending against you for one of the awards, maybe you should go and see them so people see that you support new talents”

Curiosity sparks within you  “Korean band, is it BTS?” you asked, sipping your water you publicist arch an eyebrow

“Yes, did you know them?” she looks rarely interested, you nod reminiscing how  a few weeks ago you had stumbled on a fan edit of you and one of the members titled “1997 golden babies” seeing the dark haired boy dancing and performing with that much passion caught your attention, looking at his name and thus his group, fascinated enough that you had expend a few hour looking at the music videos and some of their performances, a bubble of excitement grew in your stomach making you feel energized again and you started to walk knowing your publicist was going to take you to them, skipping to some people you got to the corner where a group of at least 10 men stand, you immediately felt short and tiny and intimidated but you put your confident face and wait for your publicist to talk with one of the men, who yo assume was their manager, he look surprised and his gazed fall to you where you standing sandwiched between your bodyguards, he nod and went to say something to the remaining men 7 of them wipe their heads instantly to you and you smile, you make the remaining and they scatter in formation, pushing the taller men in front, he gives you a smile and flashed with a set of dimples.

“Hii, is so nice to meet you guys” You break the ice, you scanned every single one of them, from the tall broad shoulder one to Jungkook, the one of the edit and then your eyes fall to one of them, instantly draw for the way he looks at you, like he knew something your eyes goes back to the taller guy as he start to talk.

“It's so incredible to meet, we are big fans of your music” he says, you had heard that a lot but he sound genuine and the rest of the boy nodded, your eyes went back to the guy with the feline eyes and you see something that you had seen before but rarely from another artist, admiration, but also understanding, like he understanded something and he was fascinated by it. 

“Are you performing tonight?” you asked trying to shake the feeling that he was reading you like a book he understands the language. 

“Ummm, no, not tonight, hopefully someday”  he looked a little ashamed but that only made you feel more admiration for them, they are escalating little by little.

“Id watched some of your performance” a chorus of ¨whoas¨ breaks their silence and you smile wider “You would have made us look like kids beside you, you are truly amazing” you compliment, the words flooding with ease, all of them let a ¨thank you¨ and when you meet eyes with the feline eyed boy he gives you the most beautiful and shy gummy smile, something inside you felt warm and fuzzy and you enjoy it so much that you wish it never went away. Your publicist asked for a picture and you stand with them.

The flash was quick, you changed the pose and at the same time you felt a delicate brush of fingers in your back. Tingles run down your spine and your hair stands, how was it possible that a man could make you feel that way without talking, without knowing him? You didn't even know his name, or how he was, he could be an asshole. 

The camera stop flashing and the warm fingers leave your trembling body (you didn't know if it was of starvation or the adrenaline running through your veins) You look at him, the man with the gummy smile, cat-like eyes and the rose petal lips, he bow and you did the same as a reflex, that make him smile fully and the giddy, warm feeling bubble in your stomach all the way up your chest. You broke eye contact and with warm cheeks you went to hug the taller guy hugging all of them (not without almost melting in gummy smile boy, and breathing deeply his mainly citrus smell).

Your entrance was cut out by your manager, who led you backstage and you hope you bump into them, to talk to him, to hear him and let his fingers pay with your skin, but you were immediately trap in the changing room pulling other set of clothes and when you get out your publicist was waiting with a mint and a glass of ice you chew while letting the makeup artist  retouch your makeup.

You had already stood up 5 times to receive an award and Top Social Artist was the last nomination before going to change for your performance. Sitting on the front row with Calum on your side being the perfect supporting boyfriend and with Zendaya on the other side beside her a bunch of other models friends, big names in the industry who appeared in the music video that had already premiered a few awards ago. And although you should've be worried if you would win the category you were already seeing black spots, nausea and heavy eyelids accompanying, and sitting beside with the most beautiful, tallest, slimmest, women of the moment didn't make you feel better, you could barely hear anything but the sound of blood pumping through your ears but after hearing your name and the loud cheers of your fans a smile appear in your clammy face, you wonder if you could even stand to get  the award if you win, a louder cheer broke in the arena and looking to the screen you saw the south korean band announced and when it disappears it took a few seconds for the screams to stop, the announcers opened the envelope, two seconds of silence in the speakers and then...“BTS!” You jump clapping finding strength out of nowhere and with a smile you saw the band walk in front of your eyes with wide eyes, open mouth and smiles, a single hand sticking out for you and knowing who it was you brush his hand with yours. 

Then you turn back and with a bodyguard in front and another in your heels, you walk into the main stage of the arena. 

Everything was blurry, you followed the guard into the hallway and crouched to get in the elevator, holding the mic and letting your head go over the choreography. And when the voice in your in ear says “one”you feel the lift move and stand.You felt like you were going to faint, but still make your moves as smooth as possibly, it felt like forever but when you give the final move and look at the camera you give the most convincing smile ever. Wait for the count to end and the light to ade out to let your body fall to the ground. But the light did not fade, and the camera was still on you. 

The host appeared to your side to announce that your music had already broken a record and that you had won another 2 awards. You accept the award and let the host hug you and unintentionally your body stumbles, your eyes give a turn and feel almost lost conscious.“It's okay” you said to the man and pulled out with a smile, looking to the worried crowd,”It's okay” you repeat in the mic ” I very excited, to be here and to win this awards, thank you to everybody that make this possible, my fans, my family, my team, everybody that listen my music and the art i make, thank you so much, i love you” You said, making well rehearsed words leave your mouth, you leave following the lady with the awards, numb. 

The act seemed innocent and so quickly and random that nobody should have noted, but it set something, pieces clicking in place, for you felt illicit, scandalous, it ignited something that you have never let your body cave in, lust. A sin so impure that only thinking about it makes you flustered, but it only took a couple of glances, some brushes of skin and a hug for you to continue the seduction game he started. And you wanted him to win, to ditch all the circus and let him take you to the hotel, seeing him all in black contrasting with his soft creamy skin, a fallen angel.  

Wanting to feel something, did you deserve the awards? Your music had moved so much from your original goal that  you barely felt it was good. So you didn't feel proud, and you did not feel happy, or sad, or angry. You felt hungry, and tired.

 How dare he be so cool? With the glinting earrings and the necklaces and the deep voice and side smile, a dream, you never thought he was just your type. Was it possible for you to have him? A quick internet research let you know his name, his position on the group and his age, he was a little over five years older than you, younger than your “exes” but so much different, he felt real, a real man, but at the same time he was surreal, to perfect,  to gorgeous. And you wanted to know all about him.

You sit alone in the buffet of your hotel, with other people who also went to the awards, munching on a chicken salad with some delicious sauce and bread sticks and a glass of orange juice. Your orange juice, of course, was spiked with alcohol by your manager, a way to make you last giggly and awake for the rest of the night. Feeling already full with your second plate and with already a certain amount of alcohol in your system, you felt better, enough to keep looking at the table in front of you. Where 7 boy sit holding a camera laughing at one of them knocking the glass with the camera gummy smile boy who had, just like you, been looking at you smile with you and you hold the big stack of tissues at him, he walk to you and brushing fingers he take it from your hands “thanks” he said with a deep voice, one that you had already heard in his music videos but never compared to the real thing.

It took you 30 minutes to shower, dry your hair, put light makeup and a flowy black dress, that fall above your knees, do a quick google research of what to expect at losing your virginity and chugging the mini bottle of wine of your mini fridge, cleaning all of the clothes on the bed and quickly fix it. And when you thought that he wouldn't come a knock was heard. You look for the last time in the mirror and open the door.

 And he was there, his hair now completely straight  and soft looking and his face was bare, no necklace and simple cotton shirt and black cargo pants. Like he couldn't be more gorgeous.  Oh wait, he could, looking at you with the damn smile. “Hi” you said, already losing the game “Hi”, deep voice and cute accent, you can't help but giggle, boozing  alcohol in your veins.

“Please, please come in” You open the door all the way “ I´m y/n, by the way” you said and he looks at you, “I know, I´m Yoongi” he says laughing “I know” you respondHe lifted an eyebrow “you do?” he said with a smug smile, “of course i know, i'm not that  dump to hook up with a guy i don't even know the name of” you widen your eyes and blame the alcohol by your blunt remark, but feel relieved when he laughs. He let you lead the way to the living room and when he sits on the couch he notices the object on the coffee table, an unopened copy of BTS 'latest album you had.

They said goodbye and you broke contact, gulping the last of your orange juice and immediately got replaced, you looked back at your manager and publicist, talking to their manager, using the translator that look flustered, and you knew why, after yourself had talked with your manager about your request, voice confident but cheeks flushed, your manager didn't even had to approach BTS manager before he was already on his way, at that you felt a weird feeling, a territorial frown in your eyes, but you couldn't blame him. Every celebrity you have met has done this.  A simple deal, a way for celebrities to keep their affairs as private and publicly clean, both sides agreed to keep it quiet and not slip ups. When they finally look at you, turn again to him, his manager walking to him, and slipping a black plastic card. A key to the room to one of the suites. Your suite.

“I thought you could signed for me” you explained with a shy tone “I found it on the airport bookstore and since i kinda collect music album i thought it was a nice addition” 

He grabbed it “can i open it?”  he said with the cute accent, you nod excited and he carefully start to unwrap you sit by his side to get a better look, when he finished it, he looks at you

 “it has a photocard” he explains and you giggle again at the way he pronounce the last word, feeling the warm feeling in your stomach and he send your favorite smile at you.He opens the book and stop at the page with the card stuck to it “It's random so is a surprise, go, turn it around” he gesture to the book, you grab it and turn it around,

 “Oww” you let out a disappointed sound when you look at the man that clearly wasn't your Min Yoongi, he laughs and you pout “what can i do if i want one of you?” you ask with a distressed look. He dares to look flustered and he reach to his neck and the his hair, you wanted yours in its place, you licked your lips and look at lis face, “You could buy lots of album until mine come out” hmmm

“That's a good idea” his stare became intense and his eyes darken, his tongue brushed his bottom lip and someone must move forward because your lips replaced his tongue was now kissing his lips. 

Your fingers grab his shirt while his palms was cupping your cheeks, thumb brushing against it, the darkest desires in your mind, the need to be touch to be taken care of,taking his hand in yours you put it on your thigh, where your dress had lift and he complied to your silent request, pushing the fabric up and caressing your skin, but not where you need it him.

 You lean in the couch bringing him with you, but he pull from the kiss, leaving you gasping, “are you sure?” he ask, with his soft, dark eyes, lips swollen and flushed cheeks, you nod, but he shakes his head “are you sure?” he repeats, you think for a second looking at your giddy, boozy brain, “yes, i'm sure” you said with the most confident voice you could muster, he kiss you again and then its your turn to pull away from the kiss ”wait, wait, i,  i haven't, i never have i ever before, i mean, i never had done this before” you confess and he looks at you still panting, he nods, and ask again “are you sure?” and you are.

He didn't let you lay in the couch.

He let you run your fingers through his torso and take his shirt off.

You let him pull down the strips of your dress.

He let you know how much he desires you.

You let him touch for the first time against the wall, making you see stars and blow away in a climax.

He takes to the bed, carrying like you were a leaf.

You let him stole sweet moans out of your mouth

He takes it slowly, touching skin like you were fine china.

You feel like a confident woman when you whisper “you are so gorgeous, I can say anything to your face.”

He lets a deep chuckle and gives a deep thrust making you scream of pleasure.

A mix of sloppy kisses, discreet love bites, nails against skin and pasional hip thrust between the sheets you let yourself think for a second that is not a one time thing, that euphoric feeling you were experimenting and that it was the most happy you had been in years was going to finish the moment he finish panting against your neck.

You tried to not look disappointed when he stood up and walked to the bathroom, closing your eyes, letting yourself feel the remnants of your climax.

He came back a few minutes later, cleaning between your legs and leaving a soft kiss in your thigh before slipping your underwear in its place, holding you in his arms.

You cried for the first time in front of a person. 

He tells you that he knew you were hungry, he had felt it before. Not by his own choice.

You tell him about the empty feeling in your stage while on stage.

He kisses your face while rubbing circles in your back.

  When the morning sun came up you watched his sleeping figure, his back up and belly down, face facing you and his arm around you.

You mindlessly start writing invisible letters, your name. Wishing he could be more than a stranger.

He lets you a note. His number. Breakfast. And a single pink flower and a book from the souvenir store “ The meaning of flowers”

Azalea

 The azalea is the flower that ushers in springtime in the southern United States. That’s one reason it’s so closely associated with beauty and rebirth. 

These blooms are often given as a symbolic message to, “Take care of yourself,” which is an important sentiment to extend to the bereaved.

Little-Known fact:

 Azaleas are celebrated in festivals throughout the world, especially the U.S. and Asia. In Chinese culture, the azalea is known as the “thinking of home bush” and was immortalized in the poetry of a famous poet during the Tang dynasty.

HIIIIIIIIII

SO 

I FINISH THIS CHAPTER

It took years, but my mental health has been bad lately and also was hard to write the first meeting, if it look to rushed, dont worry its kinda the point, they are not in love but definetly know that they felt something. But they dont know each other,  i like to think of them as soulmates. 

We see how she was physically and mentaly hitting rock bottom and her team is not as innocent as it look.

If i was vague about everything, when the managers were talking, they were basically negociating the one night stand, that way the public wouldnt found out. A normal ocurrence in this AU.

Everything you feel courius about, please let me know.

Thank you so much for reading, i love you

[doctor-crowe]

– JUNE 1998

I’ve got scars that can’t be seen. I’ve got drama, can’t be stolen.

She died on June 1st. She’d felt it, that moment of no return. But, much like the fabled Lazarus, someone else– some greater being than herself– came along and displayed their awesome powers in front of the masses and brought her back to a state that was far better than simply alive. But unlike the story that John told, Stevie’s savior didn’t walk away from the miracle she’d performed. Theodora only traded her life for everyone else’s.

When they first realized what she could do with her gifts, Stevie’s father sat her down to explain the responsibilities that came with a gift like hers– a conversation guided by the principle of reciprocity; That the universe or its ilk gave her something great, and she must put that greatness back out into the world to keep the cycle going. And so she would, and so she had thus far in her life.

Eurynome had fucked around with the fates’ design– given so many a second chance– and then had left those who benefitted from her sacrifice to figure out what to do with it. Time continued without care or acknowledgement of all of the moments of still and silence that the city observed. Without so much as a thought of stopping for the broken and damaged to catch up. Stevie’s only wound left, the puncture in her gut, was stitched and healed and she still wasn’t sure how she’d ever put this gift back into the world. But she’d make Theo’s sacrifice worth it, somehow.

She had to.

June 2nd-30th

The aftermath of the events at Bergen Street saw the worst fight between Stevie and Levi that the siblings have ever had. While it’s true, and known by those relevant to the information, that Stevie has never approved of Levi being in the Brotherhood– disapproval was too weak a word for what she felt now: betrayed.

Levi had chosen them.

Even after she’d told him about what she’d seen first-hand, what she’d experienced– He’d chosen a stance of neutrality?! It didn’t matter that the one that had done it, stabbed her and successfully left her to die, ‘didn’t represent them anymore’. He had. And in her mind, he always would. They’re murderer’s, Levi’s enrollment was proof of that. But maybe that didn’t even matter. All that did was that Levi had chosen a group of murders and terrorists, over his own sister. He’d chosen her murderers over her.

She kicked him out. Shut the door in his face. And lied to her mother at the weekly check-in phone call.

The siblings haven’t spoken since.

–

Come the official start of summer, Stevie takes her first real vacation ever. A week of fun and relaxation with ███ ██████████ stranded out in a little hut over the ocean in Bora Bora proves to be exactly what she needs to get out of the funk the fight with her brother had left her in.█████ ██████████ ██████████ ███ █████ ████ ███ ██████ ███████ ████ ███ █████ ███ ███ █████ ████ always knows ████ ██ ███ ███ ████████ grateful. ████ ███ █████ ███ ████ ███ █████ ███ █████ allergic ███ ████ █████ ██████

–

It wasn’t long after she’d gone back to work full time that she was approached by a young mutant that she’d met under less than ideal circumstances with August in Bergen Street. Milla had a special ask of her: erase evidence of her being there on the day of the attacks. 

She told her some meshed story of not having a valid ID and there were people that would know how to look for her. In all honesty, Stevie wasn’t sure she followed it completely, but there was something about the look in Milla’s eyes as she spoke too quickly– something desperate and scared– that made Stevie’s resolve hitch. If Milla was as in trouble as her story made her seem to be, well.. Call it a traumatic bias but, Stevie’s never trusted ‘The Authorities’, or known them to do any sort of justice. So even though she knows she doesn’t have to do it, that she owes this mutant nothing, she promises Milla that she’ll take care of it.

And on the later half of the double she covers that night, she does. She finds the original paper reports amongst all the other still-waiting-to-be-entered physical reports from the day of the attacks, and shreds them before taking them out back to the smoking area behind the hospital and burns them.

Destroying them forever.

[kouslut]

Eh? What was up with that pause? Kousuke had asked about the boy's failure entirely to get the attention off of himself so he could get a moment to gather his thoughts and recompose himself and, most of all, to not have to explain his reasons beyond their most superficial aspects- to not have to actually introspect over the simple question of: "Why?"

Why would anyone do anything? Why would he help a stranger? Why would he try and act like he was capable of being of help when he knew very well that he was, in most cases, more apt to destruction than anything else? Why, when he had actively chosen to be selfish time and time again, to live selfishly, ever since he'd accepted that simple fact?

It was all shit he didn't want to even try and dip his... sadly exposed toes in. The boots had broken off on one side after all. Ah- fuck, that didn't matter. What mattered was that it was obvious that, when faced with the inevitability of someone's execution- someone he'd grown accustomed to seeing, performance after performance- and the thought that he himself had nothing to lose, nothing that could really be worth as much or more than even a stranger's life, he'd just... acted. Incredibly dumbly and thoughtlessly, mind you. But he'd done something and he didn't regret it, even despite the broken boots and the... bloodthirsty crowd.

Still, none of that could explain that fucking awkward pause, nor the sudden emergence of hesitation in the boy's demeanour at the posing of the question, nor the almost embarrassed manner in which he hid his face from sight. A part of him, the one that remembered smirking at the kid as he'd averted his gaze on more than one occasion, the one that had taken notice of a not completely irrelevant number of lingering glances, thought it had the answer. Part of it, anyways. But he didn't like the idea of his skill being so impressive he'd almost got someone's hands cut off. Nor that of being hot enough to garner the same result. Nor that of his active attempts at impressing specific members of his audience to maybe get something out of them later resulting in genuinely dreadful things. And so he decided he'd believe there was a worse, far less himself-related reason.

Hunger, for instance. Malnutrition was sure to slow one's movements in the long run and the kid was bordering emaciated, if he had to say. As for the pause, well. He'd have been fucking embarrassed about being asked how and why he'd dropped a dagger while juggling also.

He shouldn't have asked the fucking question- especially because he did not want to deal with the answer that had, at once, become obvious. Hunger really was a dreadful thing, yes. And, since his own coins had lied to him already, he would not have a hard time convincing himself that luck was just having a rough day itself, and struggling to get around.

"So-" Kousuke tried to start, and instantly felt grateful for the interruption that came. Changing subject suited him- and the situation, too. They had been running, after all. And it seemed that they were going to have to keep doing that- the kid was right, there would be no going back and there wasn't going to be any place for them in that city, not anymore. Not for the unlucky thief, and certainly not for the glorified gigolò who'd enjoyed someone else's so-called property one time too many.

The proposal of sharing treasure, now that caught Kousuke more than just off guard- because he was in no position to say no, having just abandoned most of his possessions in a public square, but he also very well knew that, in agreeing, he'd have been taking advantage of someone who was taking responsibility for something that, in Kousuke's case, had been nothing but a matter of time- a tragedy waiting to happen. He was the one whose skin had only been saved thanks to the other's knowledge of the surrounding area- he was the one in debt, even id he did recognize that he had acted... maybe a little chivalrous. Maybe a little bit awesome, even, in stepping in. Heroic, maybe.

Right.

There was only one choice that could be made- the same one he was always going to opt for- but, before Kousuke could agree and take his fair share in exchange for his nothing, the boy offered up his name.

Masahiro. Easy to remember. Lent itself well for a potential future alias, actually- he liked the sound of it. It was hardly a name for a thief- that was what he found himself thinking.

Well- Kousuke wasn't one to be picky. And, to have agreed so easily to the role of partners, to have so easily decided to trust someone with his face and dress, this Masahiro boy could be nothing but desperate and, certainly, a little insane. Just how he liked people. And, as distrustful as he'd grown to be, Kousuke really didn't have it in him to even care to check whether the boy's errand was a made up story to double cross him and sell him out. For all he cared, he'd done his part. He'd run, he'd stumbled and he'd kept running, he'd run until his lungs had stopped hurting, even. If he was going to be killed now that he'd finally settled, now that there was a pretense of safety in the air, he'd have accepted it. It wasn't like he had much to lose, really. ... And, if worst came to worst, his daggers were still on him and not the kid- Masahiro- nor any of the guards that he'd seen around town would have stood a chance. Of that he was certain.

... Very well.

"Making it official, then? You move fast, Masahiro," he laughed, mostly to himself, and a little to endear the other as much as he could, since that was a weapon he held dear, too. "I'm not normally one to wait in one place, but I suppose I will. For you," he purposefully spoke, tilting his head and noticeably lowering his gaze down to his feet. "And, hopefully, to pretend this boot isn't completely done for. So feel free to go and do your business. I'll wait."

Hoping none of his actual nervousness was coming through the facade he'd conjured up, that strange mix of not-quite flirtiness and clumsiness that was hardly even recognizable as himself, Kousuke made up his mind. Holding out his hand after staring Masahiro up and down again, he abandoned his lone-wolf self, whether it was to stand the test of time or only last a handful of minutes before he was inevitably stabbed in the back. "I'm Kousuke," he offered through the fakest confident grin he'd given in a while. "I trust that you'll be back soon, partner."

Already, he felt himself mourning and regretting the decision. The thought of a coin toss, and the feeling of his hand being grabbed, were enough to dispel even that.

Masahiro blanched as the juggler thanked him for his appreciation of the show. It was surprising for two reasons: The first, that the performer had actually recognized and remembered his face at all. It wasn’t as though he was particularly memorable (a fact that was quite useful when he picked pockets), and somehow this beautiful man had taken notice of him before this night. The second was that he had been inspired to leave him his hard earned coin in the first place. It was honestly a testament to his attraction and misplaced interest in the man that had made him willing to part with it at all, but because of his performances, he had managed to collect enough money and valuables that he figured he could start over in another city. A small, modest living to be sure, but at least it would be better than how he was faring now.

Somehow, the juggler had become his very own patron saint. It would have been rude not to thank him.

But as for his answer to the question of why he had been distracted… he wasn’t sure he really wanted to answer that. Would the man be horrified or disgusted by his attraction toward him? That every night he found himself pulled toward the performance not just for the chance to ply his trade but also to see the wild smile on the juggler’s face as he charmed the crowd? Most nights he managed to slip away before letting his fantasies run their course, but this night he had been completely enraptured. Something about his fluid movements, the timber of his laugh, the sparkle in his eyes… his heart had skipped a beat and made him falter. It was pathetic, to say the least.

He ducked his head, hiding his face in his cloak as he fumbled for a response that wouldn’t sound like a lie. “I suppose my luck had run its course.”

Before the man could press him further, asking questions that he couldn’t answer for fear of being left alone, Masahiro pressed on. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for either of us to try and slip back into the city. Thankfully, most of my caches are here in the forest. I suppose it’s only fair to share them with you, since your performances lent me the opportunity to gather it all… and it’s my fault that you can’t go back.”

He stood up and gestured a little farther into the woods. “If you wait here for me, I can gather my things and be back before the moon is high in the sky.” And then he hesitated for a long moment before opening his mouth once again. “I’m… my name is Masahiro. If we are going to be partners, I thought you should know.”

[thran-duils]

Lost in Zero Gravity (P.2)

Title: Lost in Zero Gravity (Part Two) Summary:  Fem!Reader x Mob Boss!Tony Stark x Mob Boss!Steve Rogers.  Reader is a call girl who runs high end parties. She catches the attention of Tony Stark who invites her back to his room with his friend. She might have performed too well because she becomes their new favorite play toy and they don’t like to share. Words: 3,072 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Smut, prostitution, infidelity, angst, domestic violence, stalking, possessive behavior Author’s Note: Song inspo for this fic

Part One || Part Three || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

“You must have made a really good first impression,” Tatiana commented, blowing out a ring of smoke. Her charcoal lined eyes creased with her pleased smile.

You shrugged, “I was just working.”

“Don’t try to be modest now. It’s not becoming on you,” she laughed in response.

She had called you into her office to tell you that you had been specifically requested for an assignment. It seemed Tony and Steve’s mob were going to be taking a vacation and they wanted you available. You were not one to turn down a paid vacation, especially if they were going to be there. As dangerous as they were, they had been a good fuck and Tony had made sure to get you off. That was far more than probably eighty percent of the people you had been with since you started working the service.

You hated the smell of the cigarette smoke and it was always the hovering stench in her office. She was going to kill herself far too young and maybe shave a few years off your life in return for however she made you stand in here. You adored her, there was no doubt about that. But you wished she would kick the habit.

“Where are they going?” you asked, feigning that you were contemplating about refusing the assignment.

“Riviera Maya.” You narrowed your eyes and she said, “It’s in Mexico.”

An inclusive resort no doubt. It could be fun. Maybe you could ask someone to travel with you so you would not be completely alone when they were not wanting to bed you. Or maybe not… some time alone might do you well.

Tatiana added, “Wives are going to be there though.”

“So, why am I gonna be there?” you asked honestly.

Tatiana snorted, “Oh, stellina.” She took another deep inhale exhaling as she said, “There are so many things there to keep the spouses occupied. They’re rarely together except for dinner. It’s just for appearances.”

Rich people’s lives sounded exhausting.

“You just need to be out in the open, keeping yourself available for them whenever they have an opportunity to slip away and have some fun with you. Otherwise, just keep yourself occupied with the beach and nice drinks. I know you hate suntanning but there are shops to poke around in. I know you like shopping.”

“That I do.”

“Maybe they’ll give you extra.”

“I don’t want to go around trying to get greedy.”

Tatiana smirked at that. “That’s my girl. I trained you well.”

<><><>

Pushing your sunglasses up onto your head, you hopped up onto one of the barstools on the bar you had just walked by and circled back to. You had yet to see either Tony or Steve and you had been here since yesterday. The place was relaxing and the room was great. You had basically sunk into the bed, having one of the best nights of sleep you had had in a long while without any noise from Elisha in her room along your wall back home. Leaning over the counter, you asked for a strawberry lemonade.

“Strawberry lemonade? It’s a party, dollface.”

You recognized that voice and you straightened back up, turning your head to look in his direction.

Steve was standing there, leaning on the counter. He was a sight for sore eyes. He was only in swim trunks, aviator glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. That did not hide the fact you knew his eyes were running unabashedly over your body. Your stomach fluttered at the sight of him, thinking of how he handled you last time.

“I bought this specifically for this vacation,” you said, hopping down from the stool and turning around for him to let him see the whole suit. When you turned back around, he was grinning. “It looks good right?”

He nodded, “You look damn sexy.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

“My wife is here,” Steve said, and you frowned instantly at this immediate change in conversation. Was he trying to kill the mood so quickly? He said, “I know. She’s got her little masseuse guy here to keep her entertained, so I should be able to have my own fun. But I’m trying to be good.”

Picking up on his hint, you sauntered towards him. Your hand came up, resting on his chest. “Why do you have to be good if she isn’t being good?”

“I had to hold it in until she ran off,” he told you.

You pulled his sunglasses down to see his eyes, keeping them on the bridge of his nose. You smiled when you were able to actually meet his gaze.

“Well, when do you get to not be good?”

“Right now,” he said and you smiled in response. “It’s why I came and found you. I saw you yesterday. Wandering around. Took everything in me to not come up to you. Looked like you found yourself a nice little boyfriend though?”

“He was trying really hard but no… no dice for that guy,” you told him.

You pushed his glasses back up and your arms wrapped around his neck. He grinned back at you, his fingers tracing along your exposed back.

“I’m assuming you’re liking what you’re seeing?”

“Very much,” he murmured, his fingers playing with the hem of your suit.

You nuzzled your nose to his. “Hmm. So we know where this is going?”

<><><>

You stood in front of the mirror, completely bare. Steve had brought you back to their villa. Tony’s wife was gone, off to a spa treatment. The room had a wide door open to the patio overlooking the ocean. There was a hot tub and pool on the patio and although you wanted to indulge, you refrained. You got undressed for them instead, waiting for them to get antsy enough to take charge. It did not take long as you predicted.

Tony came up from behind you, nude as well. His hands ran across your breasts, cupping.

“Don’t you look marvelous…” he murmured, his fingers tweaking at your erect nipples. You bucked ever so slightly, and he smirked. His nose came to nuzzle into the nape of your neck. “I knew I chose right… a perfect gem.”

“You still seem to like what you’re seeing?”

He chuckled, one hand snaking down to toy with the top of your sex.

“You’re gonna look even better underneath that mirror.”

You turned in his arms, your forehead pressing against his. “A man that likes to review his work. I don’t know if I should be worried.”

“I didn’t get to where I am by being a half ass.”

Steve was at your other side and he enveloped you to him. To both of them, you asked, “Any critiques?”

“Loaded question,” Steve chuckled. “I mean, the biggest is you haven’t sunk one of your holes on either of us. I mean, it’s been a whole five minutes. What’s the hold up?”

“Sorry, I was enjoying the company.”

He kissed the tip of your nose lightly, “And I’m sorry for being so charismatic.”

“I’m assuming you can’t multitask then? Be charismatic and fuck me at the same time?”

A low growl left his mouth now, “You’ve got a mouth on you.”

“Are you complaining?”

“Not at fucking all,” he told you pulling you over to the bed.

Steve was looking upwards, and you knew he was taking in the sight of you hovering over him as you sunk onto his length in the ceiling mirror. His eyes were swimming with arousal and you hoped to always be the cause for that.

<><><>

“Y/N, you got a gift,” Wendy said, pointing at the table as you walked into the brothel’s kitchen. You had come in to get a drink but smiled seeing the bouquet and gift.

“Really?” you asked, letting your backpack fall from your shoulder and along with your carry-on drop to the ground. You had just gotten back from Mexico; that was quick if it was from who you thought it was. Upon seeing the flowers, you knew your assumption had been correct. They had asked you what your favorite flowers were and even though that was extremely obvious why they were asking, you had told them all the same.

The bouquet was large and there was a nice heart balloon in the center. You smiled, leaning in and smelling the flowers deeply.

“Where’d you get those from?” Elisha asked, coming into the kitchen. You shrugged, smiling sheepishly, and she rolled her eyes, giving a little laugh, “I know exactly where those came from.”

“There’s also this,” you said picking up the gift bag from beside it, waving it at her.

“That’s dangerous,” Elisha commented, grabbing the bloody mary that Wendy had made her. They must have had a rough night.

You shrugged again, opening the bag. Your lips curled into a smile as you pulled out a bright blue teddy. “Cute,” you giggled. Elisha and Wendy shook their heads, taking a drink. You held it up against your body and asked, “Think they want me to wear it for next time?”

“I don’t think they bought it for shits and giggles,” Wendy snorted. “How was the trip?”

“It was nice.”

“Good to hear it. You should relish in this.”

“Oh, I am,” you said, putting the teddy back into the bag. You thought of the extra money that Steve had tucked into your bag, remembering that you should tuck that away. It was smarter to not spend all the money that was thrown at you. That is what fools did; you needed to think ahead.

<><><>

The dress was loose and casual, perfect for the saloon they had asked you to meet them at. They had sent a car for you and met you at the curbside. When you got out, you looked around, cocking an eyebrow at the sight of them dressed in nice, pressed jackets. You were going into a dive bar, what were they doing?

Tony took your arm, Steve trailing behind. “Hmm, a sun pattern,” Tony commented, his fingers pulling at the fabric of your dress.

You gripped his arm, smiling. “I like to be a shining beacon in people’s lives.”

Tony chuckled in response, his grip tightening on your waist. The bouncer did not ask for your IDs; they must know them. It was dimly lit, packed. There were dancers on the stage and your eyes were drawn to their movements. The woman dancing had curves to die for.

“Where we going?” you asked as they led you through the bar. Your eyes ran around the tables the further you went in. Did they have a reservation?

“For the real party, sweetheart,” Tony told you, his lips brushing your ear. You shivered at the touch.

It was dark back here and you tensed. Tony felt it, a light chuckle leaving his lips. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I got you.”

Two men were standing in front of a door and they opened it when they saw the three of you approaching. There was a table with a group of other men, looking like they were waiting for the three of you. There were a handful of other women sitting around the perimeter of the room behind the players. They made brief eye contact with you, sizing you up quickly before averting their eyes again.

“Took you fucking long enough,” one of them drawled at Tony and Steve.

“Sorry, we were waiting for our lucky dame,” Tony returned.

Tony kissed your hand as you sat, before he turned away and sat in his chair. Steve’s hand grazed you affectionately, before he sat down as well.

You sat quietly, watching them play. It was poker, that much you knew. It was intense, the tension in the room could be cut with a knife. They were taking this seriously and you surmised they were gambling a bunch of money.

Steve was staring across the table at the first man who had spoken to them when they walked in, his eyes narrowed. The other man was not flinching but something must have been a tell for Steve because he pushed chips forward.

“Well, senator… I’m gonna raise you,” Steve commented.

Your heart stopped a bit, hearing him call him that. Your eyes narrowed at the man across the table. You did not pay attention to politics but the way the man’s face scrunched at Steve’s tone… you knew he had to be one. A senator. What had you let them drag you into?

The man chewed on his lip before throwing his cards down on the table without showing what they were.

Steve’s mouth broke into a wide grin and he held out his hands.

“Fuck you, Rogers,” the man snarled before getting up from the table. He buttoned his suit jacket, leaving the room without a second glance.

“Sore loser,” Steve commented, much to the amusement of the other men at the table to your surprise. You thought they would be more angry about losing the money they had but maybe the man had been a common enemy.

They gathered up the chips, tossing them into a bag. Tony’s hand snaked around your waist.

“Wanna spend this?” Tony asked, grinning broadly, holding the bag up to you as he guided you towards the door. You giggled and he kissed your cheek. “Steve’s treated us. But especially you, baby.”

<><><>

Pulling your dress back on over your head, you straightened it, making sure it was covering your ass. It was short and you did not need to be flashing anyone on the sidewalk.

“You sure you don’t want me to order you a cab…?” the man asked from behind you, taking a long drag on his joint. He was still lying in bed, watching you get dressed.

Confidently, you turned around, fluffing your hair. You shook your head, “It’s not too far. I’ll be fine.”

“You’re a tough cookie,” he said, shooting you a smile.

“I try to be,” you said winking at him, grabbing your purse.

You left his place quickly, heading back to the brothel. It was not a lie, it was not far.

The distance did not matter though when it came to what was waiting for you outside.

A hand closed around your arm, yanking you into an alley. You screamed but another hand slapped across your mouth as you were slammed up against the wall. Your heart was pounding, your eyes wide in fear staring at your assailant.

Your fear melted away to a mixture of anger and disgust. You would recognize those hazel eyes anywhere. You had stared into them far too many times as he towered over you, beating you into submission. You had run away from them far too many times, locking yourself in the bedroom until he got tired of trying to beat the door down.

Garnering strength from a place you did not know existed, you shoved him away, much to his surprise. He did not expect you to fight back, and he stumbled back.

“Have you been fucking following me?” you demanded, your chest heaving.

“Just interested to see what you’ve been doing since you ran off. Looks like you are visiting a bunch of men,” Jared sneered at you, getting back on his game and closing the space between you. Your fists clenched by your sides and he noticed, smirking. “You gonna hit me?”

“No,” you spat.

“So, what’s got you leaving someone’s apartment this time of night, baby?”

“That is none of your business.”

He shoved you back into the wall and you winced against the cement scratching at your skin. You swallowed it though, clenching your jaw, glaring at him. You were acting far braver than you felt. Jared always had the power to make you feel small and weak and it seemed just his presence had that same power. You felt just as helpless as you did a year and a half ago. He was frightening; you knew what violence he could unleash.

“What’s this?” Jared asked, yanking at your purse.

“Nothing, it’s my purse!” you said, your hands closing around it to try to yank it back from him.

“Looks pretty expensive, Y/N… Marc Jacobs? What have you been up to?”

He gave another hard yank, and the chain broke and you hissed against the pressure against your shoulder as it snapped away from you. You reached for it and he shoved you back again, harder this time and you let out a pained noise. Your eyes searched the buildings that surrounded you, hoping someone would be looking out the windows and be able to come to help you. It looked like no such luck.

He yanked out the hundreds the man you had just left had given you.

His eyes were dark, glowering at you. “Where’d you get this?”

“From work!”

His backhand was swift, knocking you off balance. But he was there to catch your falling momentum only to slam you up against the wall for the third time, his forearm pressed into your throat. You gasped, trying to breathe.

“You left me to spread your legs all over the city?”

“What are you talking about?” you exclaimed pitifully, trying to deny it. Your hands clawed at his arm and he only pressed in harder, making you gasp more desperately.

“I saw you go into that building with that man. Yes, I was following you! And you come back out with all this money? I shouldn’t be surprised. You always were a worthless slut.”

Tears pricked at your eyes and he growled, “You always did cry too soon for my liking.”

Your purse fell to the ground and his other hand reached up between your legs. You tried to fight him, and he socked you this time. Your head knocked against the wall and you saw stars.

Jared pushed away and you crumpled to the ground, gasping for air. You squeezed your eyes tightly, trying to gain back some sense of balance.

“Hey!” you heard someone shout from far off.

All you could see was Jared’s shoes coming in and out of your vision. You felt a sharp pain in your stomach making you lose all your breath before his shoes were gone. You blinked again before losing consciousness as you saw a new pair of shoes come into your line of sight.

~~~

Tags: coconutqueen21

[phantomrose96]

Flash in the Eyes Part 2

(Part 1)

More fixed!Flynn lore? More fixed!Flynn lore

..................

Danny lay awake. He kept his eyes glued to the bedroom ceiling, studded with glow-in-the-dark stars from corner to corner. They doused him in the tiniest shimmer of ethereal light – the second source of light in the room – after his phone, which he gripped loosely in the hand dangling off the bed. The phone cast its own faint shimmer outward, a ray into the bleak night.

And he himself made for the third source of light, he supposed. That pulse of iridescent green from his eyes, which he felt like the beginnings of a headache building inside his head, had been spurred to the front by the trickle of anxiety that kept his nerves alight now at 3:30 am.

The plastic stars above. His phone glowing outward. (His radioactive eyes, pinned to Aunt Alicia.)

Danny was not allowed to forget the incident. He was not allowed to move on. Even home, it followed him.

His phone, with that dim light, was open to a single message that had been plaguing him all day. A single Facebook message, from a profile wishing to connect, with no profile picture, no history, no other friends, made day-of. “danny. this is your aunt alicia. never would of thought id be using of one these computers. wierd things. any way. wanted to apoligize about scarring you. I have a mean face maddie knows. i dont have a computer. this is in the libary in town. but hoping you culd call me on the phone. wanted to ask you somthing more. thanks. xxx-xxx-xxxx…”

Danny left the message on read. He figured it didn’t much matter that his read-receipts were on. Alicia made it clear she had no access to a computer, or likely internet for that matter. This was a message cast into the void, framed as an apology, but fishing for information that made Danny’s skin crawl to think about. Alicia could talk to his mom any time. But she had chosen not to. She’d chosen to contact Danny directly, through a means of great hassle for a woman so sworn-off technology, living so far away from proper civilization. And she’d chosen to do so after seeing that flash in his eyes.

This wasn’t like fighting ghosts. Those were pure physical scuffles which ended in him casting the creature off into the portal to (hopefully) never be heard from again. This instead was an anxiety pricking along every nerve of his skin, deep-seeded and deep-sewn from the woman who terrified him all these many years, whose connection to his ghost-hunting parents sent his brain into spirals of dread for all the what-ifs he conjured.

“You seem deep in contemplation. Perhaps I should come back later?”

Danny sat bolt-upright, spinning fast enough to see new stars spawning in his vision. He blinked them away, and sucked in a sharp inhale of breath as he snapped his head to the side.

Half-translucent, idly floating, Vlad Plasmius appraised him from the other side of he bedroom, studying Danny the way a teacher might study a struggling student.

Danny’s transformation and leap from bed came as one. His covers blew back, phone clattering to the floor forgotten.

“Plas—”

“Yes yes, ‘it is I, Plasmius’. I believe we’ve done our battle cry introductions enough times for the audience to get the point.”

“What are you doing here?!”

“Just dropping in on old friends.” Plasmius, still floating, performed a motion as if to sit. He swung one leg over the other, and reduced the miasma of pressure that his aura sent off. He was relaxed, and conversational, and this made Danny’s neck hair prickle all the more.

“All the way from Wisconsin! Yeah just, dropping in at 3 in the morning! Yeah, well, sorry but I don’t buy it, Plasmius. And I’m sending you back to Wisconsin now that you—”

“Seems we’ve both been traveling quite a bit out of state. Tell me was it a fun little vacation? A ghost hunting trip?”

“It—” Danny’s eyes narrowed. “How do you know we were gone?”

“Oh easy, I have ghost sentinels pinned on your house at all hours. They feed me this information.”

“Noted. Thanks for the tip. I’ll be sure to blast them out of existence next time I’m out.”

“I’d love to see you try. They’re masters of stealth.” Vlad flashed a grin. “I have to say I am quite disappointed to see you all back so soon – must have been a short trip. Where did you go?”

“Not telling you. Now why are you here?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me.”

Danny bit down the urge to sucker-punch Vlad on spot. “We were visiting our aunt. Nothing special. Not everything is some big…I dunno… ghost conspiracy, Vlad. Now why are you here?”

“I was simply hoping to catch the house unguarded. You know, explore the lab, see the new contraptions that Maddie designed and Jack botched, perhaps sprinkle some cyanide in the oaf’s cornflakes box.”

“Like I’d let you--!”

“Aunt, did you say, Daniel? Alicia, perchance?”

Danny gave no response. He felt only the twist in his gut, which wrought a smile to Vlad’s face.

Vlad clapped his hands together and continued. “That is a name that brings back memories! She and Maddie were remarkably close. I heard about her constantly – given of course that I am a fantastic listener who never forgets a name or a face, unlike some fools who can’t even remember birthdays – but yes as Maddie’s best listener and best supporter, I feel like I know Alicia personally. Tell me, how is her husband Dale doing? How’s little Flynn? Not so little anymore, I imagine.”

“Don’t… talk about my aunt. That’s weird.” Danny floated backwards, coalescing a lick of flame in his palm. “Also, goes to show how much you know these days. Alicia and Dale have been divorced for like ten years now. And there’s no Flynn. You sure you’re that great a listener?”

Vlad quirked an eyebrow. “Ah, shame how divorce never seems to happen to the right people. Has Alicia tried telling Maddie it’s not too late to follow suit?” Danny unleashed his pulse of energy. Vlad blocked it with a single dismissive wave of his gloved hand. “And Daniel I am referring to your cousin Flynn, about whom I am absolutely not mistaken. Maddie and I were sophomores in college when he was born. Maddie flooded me with pictures of the boy, chubby little thing with red hair like Maddie’s. They moved her to tears, some of them. It was formative for me. The moment I realized that was the future I wished for myself, that I could bring Maddie that same joy with a family of our own. Shame how children don’t seem to happen to the right people either.”

Danny gave no response. He only lingered in the air, drifting slightly, the wafting residue of his attack trailing along his palm.

“You don’t seem so convinced,” Vlad commented.

“I’m not. Aunt Alicia doesn’t have kids. I don’t have any cousins. Unless you count whatever Danielle is.”

“A clone. You have to know the cousin thing was made up.”

“Alicia doesn’t have kids. Bottom line.”

“Did she sign him away in the divorce? That’s cold. I wonder if I could convince Jack to do the same with you.”

“Aunt Alicia divorced without kids, dumbass!” Danny swept a hand out. “She talks about her divorce all the time like it’s the best thing that happened to her, and she’s said how easy it was with just her and Dale and no one else. I don’t know how many other ways I can tell you I don’t have cousins, and I definitely don’t have a cousin named Flynn. You’re making yourself look like an idiot.”

“The opinion of a 14-year-old means very little to me.” Vlad dipped forward, closing the gap between him and Danny by a few feet. The air howled cold behind him. “However I am utterly intrigued to know what became of Flynn then. Clearly something worth keeping from you. Drowned in a pool? Carried off by a bear? Perhaps his parents made a ghost portal a decade prior to yours and he zapped it on from the inside.”

“You’re not funny.”

“I am hilarious, young man.” Vlad uncrossed his legs, still floating, but as though standing once more. “You should respond to your aunt’s message.” Vlad nodded his head to the phone on the floor. “She seems eager to speak to you. Maybe she can tell you what happened to dear little Flynn. And if you don’t, well perhaps I will stop by tomorrow morning for some tea, and ask Maddie myself what became of him. You’re welcome to be in the room when I do.”

“Hey!”

A flash of light momentarily blinded Danny, followed by a pulse of energy, and when Danny opened his eyes again he had to blink through stars.

Nothing remained in the night.

Only the ceiling studded stars above, and the glow of the phone below, and the consumptive chilling green flashing from his own eyes.  

[scarletwidowaf]

Imagine that no power AU where Natasha falls for this cute artsy girl and slowly finds out (to her horror) that Wanda's not just some random artsy crafts girl who plays guitar, but the (adopted) Granddaughter of the owner of the company Natasha works for. As in oh, oh no, that's Carter's grandbaby, Carter's gonna kill me.

baby carter

Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff (scarlet widow \ wandanat)

warnings: cursing? Terrible grammar and writing maybe because my brain's having hard time.

A\N: soft scarlet widow- Natasha being awkward and charming and Wanda being absolutely adorable. also, I honestly don't know what I feel bout it - I think it's kinda messy especially compared to my latest work.

words: idk... a lot? 

masterlist

Natasha's been working in carter's Law Firm for almost 3 years now, slowly climbing up the company's hierarchical food chain, yet not enough to get the well-deserved promotion she was aching to get.

Not that she was ungrateful, hell no. not long after she graduated she got the job in carter's, which was one of the best and strongest law firms in the market. This means that not only that she found herself working alongside some of the best lawyers in the world, she truly couldn't complain about the paycheck she was getting every month.

Natasha wasn't ungrateful, but she was driven and she knew she was great at her job, hell, she was the best young lawyer in her class, yet, after 3 years in the firm, she was still working under Coulson. Which naturally means, she did a lot of dirty work instead of representing her own cases. Working with Coulson was great, really, the man was nice, sweet, a bit nerdy at times, and of course, such a great lawyer. Looking back, Natasha should give him credit for many things she achieved in the last 3 years, and one of them was meeting the love of her life- the one and only Wanda Maximoff.

One Thursday evening, as she was just finishing up some paperwork at the firm's office in New York, she got a call from Coulson, who let her know they were cutting the day short following personal constraints.

Instead of going straight home to rest after the brutal week, as she probably should've done, she decided to text Steve and Tony to see if they were free. luckily for her, her two best friends were willing to sacrifice any plans they had for this fine Thursday night, to celebrate the rare occasion of Natasha getting out of the firm before 8 pm.

The bar steve chose was nice, rather quiet and chill. Naturally, tony didn't seem to be a fan of the blonde's choice, but since it was Steve's turn to choose a place there wasn't much he could've done about it.

"We should sit near the stage" Steve said as he spotted an empty table at the other side of the bar, near the stage.

"What's wrong with you rogers? Do you want us to sit near the stage where random people will try to squick their hearts out to a Celine Dion song?" Tony sneered out, his eyes shooting daggers at the blonde as they sat.

"It's not a karaoke bar, tony" Natasha defended steve's choice.

"Yeah, this bar hosts young talented artists, I think it's awesome and refreshing" the blonde explained.

"I still hate it" tony said.

"We don't care" Natasha said as a waitress came to the table.

Over an hour and a half later, 3 performances were over and two bawls of fries as well, the next artist got onto the stage.

The woman was young, probably younger than Natasha, and beautiful.

She was dressed rather simply compared to the other artists, just a plain white T and an old pair of skinny jeans.

Natasha noticed that some strands of her dark brown hair got stuck under her red guitar's strap.

The woman was smiling nervously as she introduced herself to the crowd and Natasha couldn't help but send her an encouraging small smile.

Surprisingly for her, the woman smiled back.

Tony and steve noticed it as well and they exchanged knowing looks.

The singer's voice was almost as beautiful as her.

Her fingers softly strumming on the frets- as almost as it was second nature, while her soft angelic voice filled the room, sending chills through Natasha's body.

Natasha smiled when she noticed how quiet the bar became, everyone seemed to be enchanted by the young singer.

When the singer finished her preference she smiled brightly to the audience, who cheered for her loudly- as she deserved, and got off the stage.

Natasha noticed the poor singer who was supposed to try and top her incredible performance. He seemed miserable.

"Earth to nat!?" Tony waved his hand in front of Natasha. The redhead blinked twice before tearing her attention from the singer and to her friends.

Steve was smiling at her, his eyes glittering in enthusiasm, while tony smirked at her with raised eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, what?" She asked.

Steve laughed and tony sigh.

"We said that she was really good" the blonde explained

"Not that you haven't noticed it, you've been practically drooling," Tony said.

"I was not" she defended herself

"You were," he said. "But we don't judge you Romanoff, its natural, she was pretty and you didn't get laid in a while. Plus- You always had a thing for the innocent looking ones" he explained and Natasha sent him her dirtiest glare.

If a look could kill tony stark would've been dead by now.

"Okay first, I wasn't drooling. Second, fuck you"

"Nice comeback" tony taunted her with a smirk, knowing full well he wasn't completely wrong.

"You should ask her out. You seem to like her"

Steve smiled at her and Natasha knew he meant it- he was was always the sweetest one of the three.

"Fancy her" tony corrected steve.

"She Like her" steve raised his eyebrow at his friend.

"Fancy" tony taunted

"Li-" steve was about to argue again until Natasha cut the stupid argument off.

"Fuck off you too," she said and waved to the waiter, hoping that another beer might make the two less annoying.

When the waiter didn't come, Natasha got frustrated, her two friends started to argue over another idiotic thing: steve's lack of love life and tony's girlfriend's lack of taste In men.

"I'm gonna get a refill," she said as she got up. The two sent her quick okays before getting back to their bickering.

When Natasha approached the bar she noticed a familiar face.

The singer was sitting in front of the bar's counter with a glass of mojito. She seemed to be having a polite conversation with the bartender.

"Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt but can I have a refill?" Natasha asked the bartender. The man smiled at her and nodded before he replaced her empty cup with a new one.

The singer smiled at her softly again- Natasha smiled nervously at her.

"I'm Natasha" Natasha said awkwardly to the girl, her cheeks flushed.

Wanda smiled back at her "hey Natasha, I'm Wanda" Wanda, the singer said as she held out her hand for a handshake.

Natasha took her hand, praying to whatever god exist that her hand wasn't sweaty.

'What's wrong with me?' She thought as she mentally faces palmed herself.

"I liked your performance," Natasha said and Wanda smiled at her.

Natasha smiled back, happy she had the privilege to be the reason the singer smiled.

"Thank you" wanda thanked her.

"I saw you at the front line," Wanda said and Natasha nodded.

"Yeah, my friend likes this place. He chose the table" she admitted.

"That's nice, I'm guessing it's your first time in here"

"Yeah, it is actually. Was I that obvious?" Natasha joked and Wanda laughed.

"Just a little bit," Wanda said with a smile "what do you think about it so far?"

"It's really nice, honestly" Natasha admitted.

"Yeah, I think that as well. I come here often with my cousin and brother but its the first time I was on stage"

"Well, you were great. Seriously. You were" she started before gazing at the stage briefly, catching the sight of the young singer who went up after Wanda. "sorry, are- the best singer" she continued and Wanda blushed.

"Thank you it means a lot"

"Anytime," Natasha said back

"I should really go... It was lovely meeting you Natasha." Wanda said as she checked the time, a small frown on her lips.

"You too," Natasha said.

Wanda nodded at her before getting up and turning around from Natasha to pull her guitar.

when Natasha took a small sip from her beer she catches the bartender's eye.

The guy was giving her the 'are you kidding me?!' look- who was a well-known look she was familiar with from years of friendship with tony.

"Hey Wanda-" Natasha said to Wanda, who was about to walk away. The singer turned back around with a small confused smile.

"Yeah?" She asked

"Would you like to, maybe, I don't know.. go out sometime?" Natasha stuttered.

'Did I just fucking stuttered!?' She mentally kicked herself.

"Yeah.. id like that" Wanda said with a smile. The brunette took a pen out of her jeans pocket and scribble something on Natasha's arm.

"Call me," Wanda said with a smile before she smiled at the bartender, who tried to look busy with anything but them.

"Bye bucky" she laughed at his antics and left.

Natasha looked up from the scrabble on her hand, who was- of course Wanda's number with a small heart at the bottom, and exchange looks with bucky the bartender.

"That went well, right?" She asked him dumbfounded and he laughed before handing her a shot glass with vodka.

"Yeah it did.. friendly advice, don't fuck it up" he said as passed her a slice of lemon.

Natasha downed the shot, nodded at him as she took her beer, and left the lemon on the counter. Her legs taking her back to her table. both of her friends were staring at her with wide eyes.

"Hell yeah Romanoff!" Tony said excitedly.

Natasha smiled at tony before looking at steve with a chuckle "the bartender is your type" she said as she set.

Steve gave her a 'are you kidding me look before his eyes traveled from her to the bartender at the bar.

----------------------ᱬ----------------------

Not long after Natasha and Wanda met again, a few times actually. 10 minutes into their first date, Natasha knew she was in trouble.

Wanda was completing Natasha on almost every level she thought about.

Wanda was carefree and dorky as Natasha was a stressed workaholic.

Wanda liked homemade meals and cooking while Natasha was practically living on boxed mac and cheese or takeout.

Natasha loved to binge movies and random tv shows into the night while Wanda liked getting up early to watch the sunrise.

Wanda loved fruity alcoholic drinks while Natasha preferred it clean.

Wanda was a splash of color in Natasha's black and white life.

Not long after, Natasha asked wanda to be her girlfriend- it happened in a month and a half after their first meeting as the two women laid in Wanda's bed, naked and sweaty with their limbs intertwined.

She could've done it more romantic, but both girls truly couldn't give a damn about it.

Wanda's apartment was incredible.

The studio apartment was big and bright.

The apartment's walls color was cream and the tall window frames were covered with white curtains.

In the beginning, Natasha didn't really understand why wanda even bother to use these curtains since the sun would light the room either way, (she found out about this terrible trait when she first stayed over and found herself awake and cursing under her breath at 7 am) But, luckily for her, Natasha learned rather fast why the younger girl's windows where ALWAYS covered. It was simple, really.

Wanda had this habit to walk around the apartment half-naked, or completely naked on better days, and as much as Natasha was grateful for that (and she was), she truly wasn't the one to share, especially not the image of her naked girlfriend as she walked around the apartment or squirmed under her touch on the bed- or anywhere they chose, really.

"Nat?" Wanda whispered softly as she was playing with her sleepy girlfriend's hair and spread soft kisses on her back.

"Hm?" Natasha hummed, half asleep.

"There's something I need to tell you" Wanda said softly. Her voice barely a whisper.

"Is everything okay, baby?" Natasha asked as she turned around to face the taller woman.

Natasha's eyebrows were tightened together in worry and Wanda couldn't help but kiss her on the nose.

"Yeah" she whispered and Natasha waited patiently for her to continue "it's just that.. there's something I need to tell you... about my family"

"Okay.." Natasha encouraged her to continue.

"My family-" she started, but got cut off by Natasha's phone buzzing on the nightstand.

"Fuck" Natasha cursed before turning around to check who it was- and if she can ignore it.

The name on the screen was definitely a sight she could not ignore.

"Just a second baby, it's my boss" she said as she pulled herself up to answer the phone. by doing so, Natasha missed wanda's guilty lip bite.

----------------------ᱬ----------------------

That's how things went for another month. In this month Natasha got the promotion she wanted which meant she was enthusiastic for days later- and Wanda couldn't bear the thought of ruining it for her.

And that's how it went overtime.

Every time Wanda manage to muster enough courage to tell Natasha whatever she wanted to say, something happened and ruined it.

But jean Racine was indeed right: 'there are no secrets that time does not reveal', and unfortunately for both women, wanda's secret got revealed in a rather unpleasant and awkward situation.

It was a pretty normal day for Natasha.

Or at least it started as one. she spent the night at Wanda's again, which means she had a hard time leaving bed in the morning but she managed it so now, a few hours later, she was having lunch at a deserted meeting room with a few friends from the office

"hey, nat.. is that your girlfriend??" Sam asked, his eyes following a girl who passes near the glass door.

"Wanda?" Natasha asked him confused.

They weren't supposed to meet today for lunch, didn't they?

"Do you have another girlfriend I'm not aware of?" He asked

"Shut up Wilson, why would Wanda be here!?"

"I don't know Romanoff, she's your girlfriend. All I can say is that she seemed to be in a deep conversation with Sharon"

"Carter?"

"the one and only" Carol whispered and Gamora rolled her eyes at the girl.

"Will you stop being weird?" Gamora asked and Carol shook her head.

"Why would she have a conversation with Sharon fucking Carter" Natasha asked confused

"Maybe you should ask her...?” the man asked

"Oh shit I think they're coming over here, pretend to be busy," Carol said as she dived back into her salad.

The others do the same as well.

A few moments later the glass door was pulled open by Sharon.

Her smile wide.

"Hey guys" Sharon said as she opened the door and git into the room, wanda following behind-

Probably unaware of her girlfriend's presence until moments later when their eyes met.

Wanda looked like she was about to die.

"Wanda?" Natasha asked. Her eyebrows knitted together.

"Wait, You know each other?" Sharon asked as she turned to the brunette

"Yeah-" she started

"How do you guys know each other" Natasha cut her girlfriend off. Her eyes were still wide with confusion.

"We're cousins" the blonde explained and Wanda bit her lip.

Natasha stared at her girlfriend, hoping to get an explanation from her.

"Wait how do you to know each other"

"She's my girlfriend," Wanda said softly as Natasha got up from her chair.

Sharon's eyes were wide "didn't see that coming" she muttered

"Tell me about that" Natasha said, more to her girlfriend than to her boss.

"I'm going out for a smoke," she said simply before leaving the room.

"Nat-" Wanda started as she followed her, leaving the other remaining members of the room confused.

"Really?" Sharon asked again.

"Well, that was something," sam said and gamora nodded.

"That's classic," Carol said as she quietly laughed to herself

Meanwhile, at the elevator, things were going less smoothly for the couple.

"You're my boss's niece and you didn't think about telling me this?" Natasha shot at Wanda as the elevator door opened and the two went outside.

"I was trying to tell you, nat. I swear. That was the thing I tried to tell you about this whole month But every time I tried to something happened" Wanda explained as Natasha lit her cigarette.

"Why didn't you say anything when we started dating and got to know each other?" Natasha asked.

The lawyer wasn't sure if she was more hurt by the fact Wanda kept this secret from her or terrified by the fact she was dating her boss's niece

"Because I didn't want you to look at me the way you look at me right now" Wanda defended herself.

"How do I look at you wanda?" Natasha asked hurt.

"Like I'm no longer the same artsy girl you met at the bar" Wanda whispered

Natasha laughed bitterly

"Come on Wanda you know I don't give a shit about it. I love you and the fact you're a carter won't change it. You are the same artsy girl from the bar, who happened to be my boss's nephew. You should've said something."

"You're right, I shouldn't have kept this away from you. It was destined to get out eventually and the last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you" Wanda took the cigarette out of Natasha's lips.

"I made a mistake and I can't change it."

Wanda continued and Natasha sigh

"I wanted you to know me, and I was scared you'll judge me or see me as a carter like most people do."

Wanda put her hand on Natasha's cheek and Natasha kissed her palm, encouraging her to continue her speech.

"Fuck, nat, I'm not even in this business- yeah they're my family but that's it. the only other connection I have to this firm is the fact I'm in love with one of its lawyers" Natasha's eyes lit up and Wanda blushed furiously.

"You're in love with me?" Natasha asked as she played pulled her girlfriend closer, A small cocky smile on her lips as Wanda rolled her eyes

"For someone so fucking smart you can be so dense sometimes," Wanda said and Natasha laughed "Of course I do moron."

"I love you too," Natasha said before kissing Wanda softly on the lips.

"Can you forgive me, then?"

"It depends," Natasha said with the best poker straight face she could muster.

"On?" Wanda asked with her eyebrow raised.

"Is there any other relative- who can fire my ass, I need to know about?"

Wanda smiled kissed Natasha's lips deeply.

"No!" She said when they broke away and the two laughed.

Natasha wiped away the younger woman's tears before kissing her lips again. This time softly.

"Good, now if you don't mind maximoff. My break's over and I should really get back before your cousin will fire my ass"

"Well technically.. she's my cousin in law, I'm peggy's grandchild, adopted one, and she's her nephew" Wanda explained

"Can she fire my ass?" Natasha asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well.. yeah..?"

"Then my point still stands.

"Shut up Romanoff! you and I both know Sharon won't' fire your ass' because you're the best lawyer in this damn place" wanda argued

"Who fucks her cousin..-"

"You're right.. she might fire you" wanda joked and took her girlfriend's hand in hers.

"Or murder me" Natasha continued as her girlfriend pulled her back into the building and to the elevator.

"Yeah" Wanda laughed when they got into the elevator and the doors closed.

Wanda kissed Natasha's lips softly before pressing the button of their destined floor. "Or murder you"