#iamadancer

[deargoditsmeceline]

~#21: A Filmic Offering; The WHOLE TRUTH~

Dear, Dear Void:

I have completed the film.

It is not what I expected it to be. It is not what I was promised. I had hoped that my collaboration with Jü Fine Brandy and their branding agents, Bland.ly, would allow me to focus solely on the subtly fraught beauty in the connection of Nature and Industry.

I have been thwarted. They enticed me into a contract with words of acceptance and praise, or shared vision, of “meeting each other where we are” and “authenticity” and yet when I arrived, as I am, with my unique vision, they responded not with welcome and thanks but with irritation and entitled exasperation at my requestsI refused to obey their duplicitous requests for me to play the part of The Excessively Chill Yet Oh So Productive Urbanite, and I have been released from my contract. The footage from that fatal shoot day was sent to me with the original sound, and fully marred with cruel comments from the two-faced “creative team.” Thus, the pure MAGNUM OPUS I have dreamed of creating is no more.

I have taken the cold ashes of my vision and created MAGNUM OPUS: Resergere Ex Cineribus. Void, I present it to you now; I believe it speaks for itself.

For the Intrepid, for the Thorough, for the Seekers among us, I include a full accounting of facts below:*

*In my humbled state I recommend that you review the full footage with a mind informed by this meaningful context. A FULL ACCOUNTING

           Invocation:

O Void: I bow to thy abbreviated attention span and place the filmic link above all lengthy communication. However, I request that those of you who feel the pull of details seek satisfaction in the WHOLE TRUTH. Follow, if you dare, an accounting of Hopes, raised and dashed as effortlessly as the blooming and crushing of a single rose.

I.         An Initiation:

This ill-fated odyssey began with an e-missive from Bland.ly, a “full service blanding agency” undertaking a reimagining of Jü (formerly Jungmann’s) Fine Brandy. If you recall my blog post from the day, I was thrilled by their offer of support for my personal artistic vision, and I excitedly replied.

Within days, I was offered a contract - framed as a collaboration - on behalf of Ju Fine Brandy. I felt a deep and immediate feeling of true community from their words. Their founder, Ty, was full of praise for the works of artists, for the link between artistic purpose and social visionary, and I was lifted on the recognition of myself as one of those selected few!!!!

II.       The Meeting:

We meet in person, and signed our agreement. Although it was filled with legalese, I understood that I would receive a sizable portion of Lucre, and the support of the Bland.ly team for photoshoots, potential blog interviews and the production of a short film. It was here that I met Ty Ramsy, and here that we together conceived of our initial idea of the film as a production of my MAGNUM OPUS, exclusively focused on my artistry.

Friends, I cannot emphasize how support from one’s community can lift a burden from a visionary’s shoulders. I did not realize until that meeting that I had been using my own creative resources to maintain my belief in my vision, while thinking myself and my belief in my purpose untapped. But as soon as I signed that contract, meet with Ty, received those sweet words of support on a printed page-- O the lift! The levity!!! I did not think that it was possible. Filled with new inspiration and liberated from an internal battle with futility, I rushed to my studio (still the bare boards of my small bed-chamber) to create visionings for my MAGNUM OPUS.

III.        Capitalist Trimmings / The Photoshoot:

The initial photoshoot was to be as closely scheduled as possible, as they wished to launch our collaboration right away. I said that this was not enough time for me to develop a fully fleshed out concept, and I offered to bring the beginnings of my MAGNUM OPUS imaginings from the Joe’s Pub edition or from any of my earlier vision-work. They told me, in short, not to fret, as it was being handled by the production team. I assumed that, as a highly competent seeming operation, that they would execute on the ideas we discussed in our meeting.

I arrived at the appointed location of the photoshoot, which was situated amongst the most louche and banal of spray-painted pictures, and handed a paint splattered jumpsuit and Reaganesque jeans. I thought we had a shared understanding of the fragile beauty of plants struggling to root in urban settings, yet instead I was met with capitalist trimmings and seeming disdain.

I swallowed my confusion and rage, and also their disgusting brandy, which they wanted to me to pose with, worship, and imbibe, despite my repeated protests that I do NOT drink, as it deeply unsettles my lucid dreaming practice. I finished the day filled with pride for my ability to carry on through strife, but also anger and confusion. How had they so missed the mark on our vision?

IV.         The Attempted Reconciliation:

  I immediately attempted to address my issues via email. They responded, telling me that they were happy I brought it up and they were able to address some of my issues, but not all of them. I knew the shoot was mere days away, and that it was up to me to ensure that we were all able to participate in bringing this beautiful vision to light. So I went about handling the rest myself.

V.          The Film Shoot:

The morning of the shoot, I arrived READY TO WORK — I sourced my own flowers, I created and fit custom garb, I found a kind soul willing to lend me their vehicle— all in service of the vision, my Vision, the Vision Jü said they were so eager to support. Jü said they expected my best and void, I delivered. The verve and inspiration, the connectivity, that I brought to that performance was exceptional, even from my own perspective, when I am so often critical of my own offerings.  I left exhausted, drained from carrying the emotional burden of the whole team, but feeling elated. Finally, my MAGNUM OPUS was born.

VI.         The Firing:

Much to my surprise and insult, they fired me immediately, without care for my feelings and with no hope of conversation or resolution.

VII. The Demand

In my devastation, I demanded my footage. It was not safe in their hands, and they had made it profoundly clear that they saw little use in my creative labor. I, however, felt compelled to search the ashes for my dream, the elusive, magnificent film I knew we recorded that day.

VIII.        The Things They Said:

I was sent the footage in its entirety. I rejoiced!! A victory, surely, I thought.

ALAS NO. Some nitwit, likely the sycophant assistant, Zander, had sent footage with the beta audio included, perhaps as an oversight, perhaps as a sick blague. Whatever the reason, I stood, assessing my personal performance of my masterpiece coupled with the inexact, though admittedly accomplished camerawork, haunted the whole time by the indelible laughter of those who had pledged support as I birthed this exhausting and crucial work into the world.

In that moment, the edges of my vision momentarily darkened. I swayed as the world spun around me but recovered myself-- I fell not into a faint! I slapped myself back into the field of war. MAGNUM OPUS, despite my hopes of the support needed for my pure vision, would be marred by the scorn of those meant to be producing it, those purportedly to be in support. MAGNUM OPUS, a product of the world’s fear and cowardice, hidden behind scorn and irony once again. As with my previous attempt this year (MAGNUM OPUS: The Prelude) this film title would require a colon and sub-clause to document the forces that held it down.

IX.         MAGNUM OPUS: Resurgere Ex Cineribus:

I could have excluded the beta audio. I could have left their voices out entirely, and created a sound score more fitting to my original vision, yes.

Perhaps you will ask why I felt compelled to leave in the perspective of The Haters, as you, the void, the Internet, so often call them. I certainly answer to no one but myself.

I will say this: my MAGNUM OPUS was meant as an atonement for what we take from nature. It is an attempt to beg for our return to the peace of nature to that we may reclaim our souls from the jaws of productivity, and, even in the thriving hub of industry, to give ourselves the permission to feel ourselves growing, thriving in the Void.

To cut the voices that demand conformity is to erase them. The deep brutality of the forces within us that demand our expressions to look the same, feel the same, to be the same must be revealed and examined. I confess myself crushed under their weight. And I have chosen to use them to make the core of my MAGNUM OPUS: Resergere Ex Cineribus. A film of resilience and humility.

[sacredbodiesca]

I AM AFRAID/I AM NOT AFRAID—Apprenticeship to Love: Daily Meditation, Inspirations, and Practices for the Sacred Masculine, September 28 • The art of my life lies not in the illusory pursuit of balance, but in my dance with Her endless calling into imbalance, which art gives the illusion of purpose, meaning, balance. If you are a masculine-identified man engaging with feminine-identified women, best to learn this dance. Best to give up ever living in balance. She will not love you there. • For more of today’s #apprenticeshiptolove chapter, please find Sacred Bodies on Substack. Or, to join the #first1000earlyreaders send me an email at hans@sacredbodies.ca and you’re in. 🔥 #asintangoasinlife #iamaman #iamadancer #iamnotawarrior #pathofthesacredmasculine #husbandman #authenticrelationships #love #nervoussystem #devotion #surrender #choosevulnerability #siren #sirensong #nervoussystemtraining #patience #masculine #menshealth #marriage #relationships #menandwomen https://www.instagram.com/p/CjD-LYxvpIj/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[shaktidancegoddess]

Olé 🥳 Dancers. I’m grateful to continue to be able to dance at my age and to be surrounded by all of you. Most of all I’m grateful for all my teachers of dance in my life and for my current teacher Marina Torres for never giving up on me, for sharing her dance wisdom and showing me what consistency, dedication and perseverance is. Dancers I know it’s not easy for any of us sometimes and that our emotions get in the way but always remember we are here to dance and that dance shows us who we are and we can express that. Have a Happy Friday and I look forward to continue to dance 💃🏾🕺🏾👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽💃🏾🕺🏾#dance #internationaldanceday #danceday #gratefulfordance #gratefulforlife #dancelove #dancelover #dancer #iamadancer (at Shakti Dance Goddess) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cc8JjW0r3PR/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[bobbydcustoms]

Ballerina themed 💃 Women's bella tank Done for a client⚡ Dm to get yours🙏🏼 #bobbydcustoms #lincolncenter #dance #dancer #ballerinasofinstagram #ballerinas #iamadancer #ootd #loveofdance #customfit #ootdfashion #trending #photography #love #supportyaown #smallbusinessesmatter #dancelife (at Lincoln Center) https://www.instagram.com/p/CV5iw5dJOUg/?utm_medium=tumblr

[aceanonymous]

Well what can I say, I was routing for the 49’ers but the Chiefs took it home 🏆 . . Oh well 🤷🏾‍♀️ at least I was able to dance the disappointment away 💃🏾 Nothin’ a little cha-cha-cha can’t fix! 💕 Btw, congratulations @chiefs and all those chief fans out there 😒 I lost a bet on this game so prepare for my #superbowlaftermath story #alreadyembarrassed 🤦🏾‍♀️ ———————————————————————— 👩🏻‍💻: @auraentertainment . 📍: @thegardensobe ———————————————————————— #auravixens #danceislife #dancelove #dancedance #danceislife #unbothered #dancelife #instadance #entertainment #performer #entertainer #dancemotivation #iamadancer #dancelive #danceagain #dancingdoll #cirquegram #dancinggirls #danceismylife #dancepassion #performerlife #ilovedance #danceworld #dancelover #danceon #lovedancing ♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️ (at The Garden South Beach) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8GSIehg6Wg/?igshid=4gmncd6msiwr

[maralynburae]

Your ancestors outnumber your fears.....feel your POWER!!! There is so much POWER in this photo to me🙏🏽🙌🏽 #IAMmaralynburae #IAMGodschildwhohehascalled #IAManointed&appointed #IhavePOWER #l #Iwillnotbeafraid #IAMmyancestorswildestdream #IAManEntrepreneur #IAMaDirector #IAMCreative #IAManExecutive Producer #IAMaAuthor #IAMaPlaywriter #IAMaVisionary #IAMFemale #IAManActress #IAMaDancer #IAMInspiration #IPOSSESSBlackGirlMagic✨

[the-huffle-buddy]

Happy Dancers Day! 💃#iamadancer

[debonairboysclub-blog]

That's a Debonair Boy! Just golden! #midastouch Follow @lil_msavitsky_official #Repost @lil_msavitsky_official with @repostapp ・・・ Two pics from my hip hop solo. Can't wait for this coming weekend's competition..it's my favorite competiton of the entire season! Contemporary pics up later. I have fun dancing..it gives me life! #dancer #iamadancer #hiphop #swag #igotair #iamowningit #ihadsomuchfun

[mociennepetitjackson]

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A post shared by Mocienne Petit Jackson (@offcialmociennepetitjackson)

#dancer #dancing #me #event #jazzdance #spanish #michaeljacksonfan #michaeljackson #songs #songwriter #training #musiccomposer #composer #mociennepetitjackson #me #thrillerbetrayal #education #dancingstyle #2021 #ballet #jazzballet #iamadancer #work https://www.instagram.com/p/BxIl6ujF_P0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=jepe0vvtxrdy

[aceanonymous]

Well what can I say, I was routing for the 49’ers but the Chiefs took it home 🏆 Oh well 🤷🏾‍♀️ at least I was able to dance the disappointment away 💃🏾 Nothin’ a little cha-cha-cha can’t fix! 💕 Btw, congratulations @chiefs and all those chief fans out there 😒 I lost a bet on this game so prepare for my #superbowlaftermath story #alreadyembarrassed 🤦🏾‍♀️ ———————————————————————— 👩🏻‍💻: @auraentertainment . 📍: @thegardensobe ———————————————————————— #auravixens #danceislife #dancelove #dancedance #danceislife #unbothered #dancelife #instadance #entertainment #performer #entertainer #dancemotivation #iamadancer #dancelive #danceagain #dancingdoll #cirquegram #dancinggirls #danceismylife #dancepassion #performerlife #ilovedance #danceworld #dancelover #danceon #lovedancing ♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️ (at The Garden South Beach) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8GSIehg6Wg/?igshid=1o7kq8wz68na5

[thepaperbagprincess]

CHECK OUT #amazingdancer @bogere_ronnie #repost with @repostapp ・・・ Throw back at the batalo dance fest doing ma thing in afro house using afro beats mixed with our own traditional drums.... #iamadancer #dancelife #malife #inspirational #kisapene #afrobeats #makehistorybeforeyougo........ (at Uganda)

[thekymberleproject]

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A post shared by Kymberle Leproject (@thekymberleproject)

#fbf @deejrichey and the #humanplayground took over #thekymberleproject #dance #performance #iamadancer #iamperformance #brooklyn #pace #crownheights (at The Kymberle Project)

[uedoahlex]

#IAmADancer 💃❤ It all started out with Jazz; until I learned Philippine Folk Dance and Basic Ballet. I decided to be brave and went out of my comfort zone - that's when I embraced Hip Hop. Lines can never be prettier without Contemporary. And finally I pushed myself beyond limits, I dare to defy gravity - I then became a kitten of Polecats Manila (Aerial Arts such as Pole Dance, Aerial Hoop and Aerial Silk). Dance has a wide range of genre. Some beat goes fast, others goes slow. A lot of times you need to point your toes, few times you need to flex (but never relax toes). You can be happy or sad or scared or seductive in playing a dance. To dance is to express more than to impress. #dance #dancer #passion #athleteofGod #artistofGod | @thatsdpointe

[jassulicious]

I am a dancer 💃💎

[wahtorga]

Thanks to @amy.rochelle for this delightful picture. #IAmADancer (at Denver Center for the Performing Arts)

[findingleom]

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A post shared by Artist - Movement Coach Choreographer Songwriter (@leomoctezuma)

#TalkAboutITwLM This @thefloorproductions party is #TurntUP! So glad I came to the last night at @kingkinghollywood. I can't stop dancing. I'm dancing whilst I post this. #JustSaying #Nothing2ProveOnly2Share #DanceLife #Improve #Dancers #ArtistSupportingArtist #Artist #LiveMusic #SalsaDancing #iAmADancer #TodoPasoTanDeRepente #Dasit (at King King Hollywood)