#i. ben mcdowell.

[guiltye]

also ben conquering up a whole religion to his unit when they were kids genuinely started as a way to help the others cope with the horrors of their upbringing; to give them answers that they have been searching for as to why they live in manticore being raised as children soldiers. he never intended to drown in that belief, or even believe in it at all? not until he started to go down the rabbit hole, and realize that there is a better answer to all of this; and it all comes down to the "blue lady" (virgin mary, a picture of her was handed to max by the janitor when she was having a seizure, and all the kids called her the blue lady).

even after season two, when ben escapes from the manticore fire that was started by max; he struggles between what is real and what has been conquered up in his own head to cope with the answers of his upbringing. whenever he sees imagery of the virgin mary, he flinches almost because he wants to pray to her, but he also knows in some way that it isn't real. not after he was sacrificing lives that associated with manticore in "her name."

ben suffers from his own form of religious trauma, at the hands of a religion that he conquered up through his own fanaticism and hyper imagination, having to find his bearings once more with the outside world when he escapes manticore a second time.

[thebiggerbear]

"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't." - Soldier Boy Prompt Response

Summary: Hughie and everyone don't understand what you see in Soldier Boy but they also haven't seen what you've seen: Ben.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Female!Supe!Reader

A/N: This is part of the Soldier Boy/Beau Arlen/Dean Winchester/CJ Braxton/Alec McDowell/Jason Teague/Tom Hanniger/Russell Shaw/Boaz Priestly/Jake Gray/Jensen Ackles RPF prompt response project I've been working on the last month (previewed here). This idea immediately popped into my head for it.

All unbeta'd.

Warnings: language; implied past sexual assault (not SB); mentions of implied drug use; mentions of violence; mentions of death

Word Count: 2199

Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel; @hobby27; @impala67rollingthroughtown

Soldier Boy Taglist: @birdiellie; @heartlessdelusions; @brightlilith; @muhahaha303; @just-levyy; @solacedthistest; @deansimpala; @foxyjwls007; @onlyangel-444; @faephoria; @believeinthefireflies95

Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat; @deansbbyx; @lyarr24; @bts24; @deans-spinster-witch; @rebel-paladin; @nancymcl

Beau Arlen | Dean Winchester | CJ Braxton | Jake Gray | Jason Teague | Boaz Priestly | Russell Shaw | Tom Hanniger | Jensen Ackles RPF | Alec McDowell

Once MM stormed out of the room, followed by a glaring Butcher, Annie, Kimiko, and Hughie descended on you. Frenchie stayed in the corner, beyond shocked — so shocked he forgot to puff away at his still burning cigarette.

“Seriously?” Annie spat angrily.

Hughie looked more disappointed than pissed off at you, and that somehow bothered you more than Annie’s fury ever could have. “Y/N, you’ve got to explain this one to me. I don’t…” He took a deep breath and began again. “The guy’s a fossil. A racist, homicidal, perverted piece of shit fossil.” Hughie placed his hands on his hips. “What do you even see in the guy?”

Kimiko furiously signed a repeat of the question.

You knew Hughie was right. Soldier Boy had done a lot of fucked up shit — shit that wasn’t forgivable in any way, shape, or form. But you also knew Ben, the man underneath all of that asinine machismo and false bravado. You’d seen glimpses of him here and there when no one else had, when Ben himself hadn’t even known you had. It also didn’t hurt that you’d seen memories of his childhood play in his mind or saw flashes of his strained relationship with his father — the man he could never live up to or gain his approval, no matter how hard he tried. There was a lot swimming underneath the surface of that green suit, under that indestructible skin, that had gotten corrupted and then shaped by easy fame, a greedy corporation, and more drugs than any person should have coursing through their system on a daily basis, even a Supe. All of it was certainly no excuse for the things he’d done, but you knew there was more to him than who he’d been, who he was now even — you’d literally seen it.

So you looked your oldest friend in the eye and spoke as honestly as you could. “Everything you don’t,” you told him quietly before walking out of the room in the opposite direction MM and Butcher had gone in. You came to a stop outside the door when you saw Ben standing there, his green eyes watching you sharply. 

He had obviously heard every word and while it wasn’t exactly something you wanted him to find out, you refused to act embarrassed or caught out. So you stuck your chin up a little higher, daring him to say something he would end up regretting should he piss you off.

“You saw a lot more than you let on when they had you do a read on me after pulling me out of the tube.” Not a question but a statement, one that didn’t contain any traces of surprise.

He was right; you had seen plenty — some things you’d rather forget. But you had meant what you said to Hughie just before, to Butcher and the team before that. There was more to him than the green suit, than the America’s Son bullshit facade, and even the horrible things he had done in his time. There was something there worth trying to extricate, to let see the light of day that hadn’t in a very long time. 

You didn’t respond to what he’d said; you had no need to. You only watched him as he watched you.

Ben took a few wary steps forward until he was right in front of you. He carefully reached out a hand to your cheek, laying his fingers along your skin when he saw that you didn’t immediately pull away from him. 

“So,” he started, his voice a little more gravelly than usual as he spoke quietly to you, only for your ears and his. He tenderly ran his thumb near the corner of your mouth. “I matter to you, huh?”

When you thought he was indeed making fun of you as he thought he might, echoing your words back to you, you noticed a small smile forming on his face as his eyes roamed over yours. You had seen plenty of smiles from the man since you’d first seen him a couple of months ago or so — mostly smug smirks or leering grins, usually aimed at everyone but you — but you had never seen this one before. It caught you off guard so much, you were captivated. “You know you do,” you murmured. 

He stared at you for a moment, glancing between you and your mouth, and then slowly leaned in. When his lips gently connected to yours, you felt an immediate electric shock travel through your system. So much so that you started seeing images playing behind your eyelids that weren’t your own. 

…Him listening to you and Hughie bicker in the next room about which Billy Joel song was the best (We Didn’t Start the Fire for you and Pressure for him) and how he smiled to himself when you told Hughie in a playful tone to suck it when the little whiny bitch tried to show you what the critics helmed the better song. 

…Ben getting angry when some piece of shit Supe had the balls to put his hand on your ass at Herogasm — a hand he immediately crushed.

…Him surreptitiously studying each interaction between you and Butcher, noting the hostility but begrudging respect between you, wondering if there was a story there and if there was, how he planned to convince you that he was the better man for you compared to the backstabbing Brit.

…Him rushing to protect you with his shield when one of Homelander’s team of misfits you didn’t see coming nearly killed you with a massive blow. You felt the rage coursing through his veins when he noticed a small trickle of blood coming from a wound near your scalp as you glanced up at him gratefully. Most of the Supes you had engaged had died that day and now you knew exactly why.

…Ben watching you out of the corner of his eye when you stood at the window, arms crossed and ominously silent, after MM had mentioned The Deep while planning on how to take out Homelander. He waited until everyone had cleared out, even Hughie who had squeezed your shoulder as he passed you by, and Ben carefully approached you from behind, torn between wanting to pull you back into his large frame to cage you protectively in his arms or to ask what was the matter. He had ended up going with the latter and you simply said “Kevin’s not a good person” and walked away, your shoulders a little more sunken down than he’d ever seen them. You felt his resolve from that moment and now knew why he had gone after The Deep with such a laser focus before even bothering with Homelander. 

…You reassuring him when he suddenly woke from a sound sleep, gasping and wide-eyed, as his chest began glowing — a result of him not self-medicating nearly as much as he used to. He had wanted you to feel safe around him so he’d cut back on the Bennies, the reefer, the booze, and even the women. He would never admit it out loud but he cared deeply about what you thought. Unbeknownst to you at the time, when you had first seen inside his head, he had gotten a glimpse inside of yours, too. And what he had seen…he wanted to be a man worthy of you. Or at least try his best. You were everything he hadn’t even known he wanted until that moment. So he had made a valiant effort to kick the drug and alcohol habit to the side but it didn’t come without consequences for him. Ben had dreamt he was back in Russia, stuck in a box as they poked and prodded at him, laughing and telling him he would never be free and he would never see anyone again. When he heard your voice telling him he was safe, he grasped for you and you let him, even though he felt you tense up at his greedy touch. “Sorry,” he gruffed out and immediately released you, worried he had either hurt you without meaning to or had made you uncomfortable in his bid to make sure you were real. “It’s okay,” you whispered, picking up his hand and placing it in between both of yours. “I’m right here. You’re safe.” When he felt your thumb tenderly swiping over his knuckles in reassuring strokes, he rasped out, “Did you see?” Instead of answering, you reached up to lay a hand against his cheek. “You’re home now and you’re never going back.” Your words were a fiery promise enforced by the steely resolve in your eyes. “I won’t let you.” He gently held his hand over yours and the glow in his chest receded; he believed you.

…Him watching you as you slept on the opposite end of the couch. You mumbled and sighed a lot in your sleep and it fascinated him. Earlier, when you had found the show he wanted, he had asked you to sit and watch with him, just in case he didn’t understand any of the references. You had obliged and promptly drifted off two episodes in. To Ben, it was a huge ego boost; you felt safe and comfortable enough around him that you could fall asleep near him. As he watched you, hearing your sounds, he really wanted to know what you were dreaming about, especially when your brows knit together and you let out a terrified whimper. He had picked you up without waking you and held you close to him. “You’re okay, doll,” he promised in a soothing murmur to your hairline. “I’ve got you and nothing is going to happen. I won’t let it.” He heard you inhale deeply and then release a contented sigh a moment later. You relaxed in his arms, curling into him, and he stayed like that the entire night: holding you as he watched episode after episode of Friends, something he had only picked because he thought you might like it enough to agree when he planned to ask you to stay. As much as he enjoyed the sound of your voice when you patiently explained things to him, the night turned out even better than he dared to hope, especially when you subconsciously buried your face into his neck and stayed cocooned there. Only when he heard you beginning to stir back into consciousness hours later did he gently place you back in the spot you fell asleep in, pretending not to notice when you fully woke up, opening one sleepy eye to find him in front of you. He shrugged off your apology and glanced over to find you softly smiling at him, causing a strange twinge to happen inside his chest, something reminiscent of when the nuclear reactor inside of him went off but far less dangerous…and much more pleasant.

The images faded as he slowly pulled back a few inches, his green gaze staring deeply into yours. “Was that okay?”

You slowly nodded, still beyond shocked not only at what you had seen or how gentle the kiss had been, but also the sensations it had caused to sweep through you — things you were pretty sure you’d never feel in your lifetime. Hints of desire and a lightness whispered throughout your body as another stronger emotion gained a foothold and blanketed your entire being. Whereas it might have frightened you before, it didn’t now. You knew you were safe, protected, and after this kiss, you now also knew you were cherished to a certain extent.  

Almost as if he knew what you were thinking, fleeting relief gave way to a small smile on his face and he tenderly placed his thumb on your chin. “Good. Because you matter to me, too.”  

You couldn’t help but smile in return, seeing his eyes light up, and you gently framed his face in your hands. You stood on the tips of your toes and pressed your lips to his again, eager to see more as he willingly put his guard down to let you completely in. You also wanted to experience that rush of sensations again with him and this time when he wrapped his arms around you to carefully hold you against him, you buried your fingers into his hair and only deepened the kiss. It wasn’t Soldier Boy who was kissing you back and whose thumb tenderly brushed against your jawline; it was Ben — the very Ben you’d seen hidden underneath all of the layers of toxic masculinity, simmering rage, and the Supe tamping down the man with years of drug use, womanizing, and an overinflated ego. And from the images and thoughts swimming in your mind that didn’t belong to you, your Ben by all accounts. Something that sadly Hughie and the rest would never understand or even be willing to try. But as Ben soundly kissed you, when he broke away to let you catch your breath and placed his forehead against yours, tenderly rubbing strands of your hair that had come loose between his fingertips, you found that part didn’t really bother you all that much.

Please let me know if you would like to be tagged for this character.

dividers by @firefly-graphics

banner by @cafekitsune

Main Masterlist

Main Tag List Submission Form

[zepskies]

My Tag Lists Are Back Open!

Hey, friends! After doing some more cleaning up of my older tag lists, I'm now able to open my tag lists back up for the following characters:

Supernatural: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel

The Boys: Soldier Boy (Ben)

Big Sky: Beau Arlen

Tracker: Russell Shaw

Dark Angel: Alec McDowell

Smallville: Jason Teague

10 Inch Hero: Boaz Priestly

Dawson's Creek: CJ Braxton

Check out my easy Tag List Form here! 💜

As always, if any of these tag lists close in the near future, you can follow my fic library blog with notifications on - @zepskieswrites!

For example, here's the new Dean Winchester Tag List (so far):

@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @mostlymarvelgirl

@wincastifer @iamsapphine @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester

@spnexploration @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @iprobablyshipit91 @sanscas

@kaleldobrev @spnwoman @just-levyy @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @pieandmonsters

@globetrotter28 @adoringanakin @teehxk @midnightmadwoman @chevroletdean

@agalliasi @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @spnfamily-j2

@deansbbyx @sarahgracej @chernayawidow @mimaria420 @stoneyggirl2

@fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @waywardxwords @waynes-multiverse @twinkleinadiamondsky @ajjustice

@ades106 @my-stories-vault @cevansbaby-dove @kayleighwinchester @rizlowwritessortof

@tmb510 @syrma-sensei @artemys-ackles @malindacath @mrsjenniferwinchester

@jc-winchester @charmed-asylum @fromcaintodean @k-slla @jackles010378

@deanbrainrotwritings @urfav-tz @alwaystiredandconfused @mrlonelycat @deans-daydream

@deanwinchestersgirl87 @rachiem4-blog @sweettimelady @leigh70 @aylacavebear

@jays-bonnie-on-the-side @kmc1989 @ghostslillady @siampie

[winchestergirl2]

October Reading Recs

To show some love and appreciation to all the amazing writers here on tumblr, who take the time to give us all these incredible stories (for free), allowing us to escape into these worlds. Here are all the fantastic fics I've read this month. 💖

Many of these fics and blogs are 18+ only, and NSFW please heed the author's individual fic warnings and requests regarding no minors. I am not responsible for your media consumption.

Reading Recs Masterlist

Dark Angel

Alec McDowell

Basic Instinct @zepskies

Authors Summary: You and Alec adapt to the realities of a human/transgenic relationship, especially during your pregnancy. 

The Boys

Soldier Boy

Wanderlust @zepskies

Authors Summary: Your wandering hands are keeping Ben up at night.

Old Flame @wayward-dreamer

Authors Summary: Y/N never expected that a knock at her door late at night would result in a reunion with Soldier Boy, someone she long thought to be dead. The meeting gets off to a rocky start, but when certain truths come to light, some unexpected feelings come along with them.

Kinktober day seventeen: dirty talk @lilacliquors

Supernatural

Dean Winchester

Cursed to Karaoke (Masterlist) @flamencodiva

Authors Summary: Dean and Y/N get hit with a spell on a witch hunt. What happens when they don’t realize the spell has taken effect?

Remembrance of Things Past @sams-sass

Authors Summary: You and Dean find each other again.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished @queen-of-deans-booty

Authors Summary: One good deed turns into your worst nightmare, one that you can’t stop from coming.

Unexpected Arrival @jensengirl83

Authors Summary: Dean thinks Y/N will be gone for a few more days on a hunt. What will she find when she comes back early to surprise him?

Everything Has Changed @impala-dreamer

Authors Summary: Sometimes, the person you fight alongside is also the person you with the most. And sometimes all that fighting is hiding other feelings, other desires...

Choose your own Winchester

Lifting the Veil @thoughtslikeaminefield

Authors Summary: You’ve been missing something of paramount importance - until now.

Sam Winchester

What he doesn't know @pamwritessometimes

Authors Summary: You’re hiding two dangerous secrets from Sam. Little did you know, he’s just uncovered one, but it’s not the one you think.

Nonstop | Drabble @saxxxology

Untitled Sam Winchester fic @supernaturalfreewill

Inherited Spirits @kittenofdoomage

Authors Summary: Your life changes with the revelation of a secret, but is it for the better?

Escape (Masterlist) @impala-dreamer

Authors Summary: Y/N and Dean are abducted after a night at the bar and thrown into a maze of horrors. Can Sam track down his brother and girlfriend in time? Can they even hold on that long?

Multi Fandom

Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, Soldier Boy (Ben), Jason Teague

Headcanon: Sleepwalking @zepskies

Authors Summary: HC: How Dean, Beau, Soldier Boy (Ben), and Jason would react to you sleepwalking.

Walker

Cordell Walker

Dating Cordell Walker would include @peachyaliien

Big Sky

Beau Arlen

Right Here @daughterofcain-67

Authors Summary: after getting dumped by a guy you'd been talking to, you decided there wasn't much of a point in looking for love. You were better off just staying home and drinking while watching your comfort shows. well... perhaps the sheriff may be able to change your mind.

Midnight Mischief @waynes-multiverse

Authors Summary: Leaving Cassie’s Halloween party, the way home leads to a thrilling detour under the moonlight for Sheriff Arlen.

[imdonnalynn]

I implore Jensen Ackles fans to go online, purchase season 1 and 2 of James Cameron's Dark Angel that aired on FOX from 2000-2002 before being unceremoniously cancelled at the end of season 2.

Jensen Ackles first played Ben/X5-493 in season 1 episode "Pollo Loco", his character died. But he was so popular he was brought back as a series regular in season 2 as a twin to his character, his name was Alec McDowell/X5-494 and it is truly one of his standout performances.

Jensen Ackles has stated a lot of Dean Winchester was based on his character Alec. So I, as a writer and reader of fan fiction find it a disservice when avid writers discount looking into the role.

He's better than Dean is any day. Such a shame his fan fiction fans don't see it or seem to not want to.

James Cameron's Dark Angel was a series before it's time and cancelled and forgotten about (even by Cameron who has devoted his life to his Avatar franchise).

[a1ecmcdowell]

ㅤㅤ SHARDS OF MEㅤㅤ . . .ㅤㅤpt 1 !!ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ( 🍒 )

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤor, ben mcdowell's dna made TWO clones . . . one just got to live, while the other got locked away.

NOTES. this will have three parts!! i rly hope i wrote alec somewhat ok bc despite loving and adoring him... i've never done it until now ik... so if it's wrong b gentle. dean's not introduced ( yet! ) but baby sammy is!! and i hope tht makes up for it at least a lil < 3

it was raining the day that x5-494 was born. 

sheets of drizzle and droplets clung to the trees and their leaves outside of the wyoming facility, falling wave after wave – a perfect mimicry of the screaming cries of the baby just born inside of its walls. 

and he was not a special baby, that one. the doctors and the overseers realized it quickly enough as the baby wailed on and on throughout the night, desperate for care and comfort that he would not be given. 

the others created from the dna of x5s did not cry. did not wail. and surely, if they ever were going to, certainly would not have done it throughout the entirety of the night onwards. 

they had to think fast, you see, because a genetically crafted baby could not just be dropped off on the doors of an adoption facility in a box with a blanket and a note. unremarkable as he was, this baby was still handmade and not just a mistake or a regret. no, the only regret that came from x5-494 was the fact that he held no purpose to their greater picture. 

they had a filing cabinet for the list of mothers who birthed their children in the facility’s main office – for the ones who could have been released back into society, that was, and did not kick a fuss and need to be dealt with – and so that was where they started. some of those mothers wanted babies, after all. that was why they’d volunteered to be the vessels for the x5s. 

it was settled, then, and perhaps a bit cruel, that x5-493’s birth mother would get the baby she desperately wanted that day. mary mcdowell. now married, now living in lawrence, kansas. 

mary winchester came back to gillette, wyoming, in an instant, however, when she got the letter. a baby. a baby that, while not directly birthed from her, was genetically hers. technically speaking. 

she whisked away the failure that was x5-494. x5-494 died that day, and became dean winchester. 

9 months later, another x5-494 was born, and he was perfect. so perfect that, once the time came that he was old enough to function on his own, he was thrown into psychology operations as a precaution — project manticore could not handle another 493. 

x5-494’s first mission was to hunt down dean winchester. not engage, not attack, but monitor. it was something that the higher-ups at manticore did often – check up on those they’d set free. the escaped x5s were proof of that, though they were a special case on their own, but the mothers, and now dean, needed to have tabs kept on them. 

and it was weird, wasn’t it? autumn had turned the leaves to auburns and umbers and maroons, and, well… 494 did not see a lot of trees. nor did he see a lot of families, who held small children’s palms in between them as they walked up and down sidewalks, as those little ones chattered mindlessly about god knew what. 

until then, all he knew were concrete walls and no windows. no windows, he remembered this specifically, because sometimes he thought it’d drive him crazy. hearing the sounds of cars outside, rumbling down roads and pavements he couldn’t see, wheels turning over rocks, and he would never see it. 

and now, here he was. outside. sun shining down on his skin, wind chilling the same skin that the light toasted, and cars drove on the pavement right there next to him, he saw it. 

weird, weird, weird, how free a life could be, and how solitary another was. 

494 doesn’t even realize that he is standing in the middle of the pavement until a child runs up to his leg, and he expects some snarky little comment, or maybe a soft voiced sorry! but the kid just stops. he’s got this floppy brown hair, and a coat about three sizes too big on him, and a gap between his two front teeth. 

and he’s saying nothing, but looking up at 494 with that toothy grin, and this was not a part of his training — dealing with children. 

“what do you want?” he asks, and it’s a bit harsh, sounds it to himself, too, when it spits out of his mouth, but. oh well. the most he can do is wipe the irritated, confused sneer off of his lips.

this is all just – a bit too much for him, really. 

the kid doesn’t even fucking falter though; that smile just widens. one of his littler hands shoots out and grabs 494’s and starts to yank. 

“dean! you came back!” 

the kid doesn’t falter, but 494 does. 

he plants his feet, and of course he’s stronger than this little guy — genetically altered dna and all, and plus, he’s double his size — so of course the kid stumbles backwards. 

his face contorts into confusion, pinched eyebrows, pinched lips, everything pinched. “what’s wrong?” 

and, like, what’s he supposed to say? honestly? his orders were do not engage. the kid engaged him. that’s not his fault. they should have had some sort of protocol prepared for–

“i know y’wanted to go t’that halloween party with casey,” the kid starts saying, and he’s got a lisp because of that gap in his teeth, which really just makes 494 feel a bit softer for him – surefire sign he needs to disengage, “but thank you. for comin’ back and all. i like trick or treating with you the best.” 

the kid loses him again, because what the fuck is a trick or treat? 

luckily, he starts to tug 494 along again, turning his back before he can see the sheer befuddlement morph onto his expression. and, that means that he doesn’t have to look him in the eyes when he– 

“i’m not dean.” 

weird, too, that is. giving something a name. he’s used to numbers and labels and codes, not humanizing things or people to keep it easy and simple. 

the kid skids to a stop, little shoes scuffing on the pavement. he doesn’t say anything for a moment, but the silence is enough. the only thing 494 can hear is the fucking wind whistling through the red and orange leaves, the giggling toddlers with their parents on the other side of the street, and it’s a bit suffocating, and now all he wants is for this one to go back to talking his ear off. 

“you… that doesn’t…” the kid stumbles over the words just like he stumbled over his shoes, and before 494 can let him turn around again and see that this entire thing is fucking killing him, he rips his hand free from his small grip. 

he walks at a leisurely pace, refusing to look over his shoulder, hoping that the kid will lose interest by the time 494 chooses to leap into the trees. he has to dodge around the even littler kid, a girl, being bounced up and down between her parents by their grip on her hands as they walk, her squealing loud even as they disappear out of sight. 

and it’s all too much, really, isn’t it? 

so he decides fuck it, and jumps up into the nearest tree, his hands closing around a branch of umber and maroon leaves, climbing higher up it until he can’t hear the sound of cars skating by on the road below, to make the journey back to his home of stone walls without windows.

[jacklesversebingo]

Round Two Sign-up

Photos: Resources

✨✨Be sure to read the Guidelines/Rules and the FAQs before signing up. ✨✨

A Discord account is required to participate in the bingo.

If you're a fan of Jensen Ackles, consider following the blog or participating in the Bingo.

The Bingo is open to all creatives. The sign-up form will be available through November 15, 2024.

Sign-up Here

Cards will begin to be sent on September 20. When you receive your card, you will receive the link to the Discord server. Sample cards can be seen here.

The list of characters that can be used for this bingo. Jensen RPF is also welcome.

Ben/Alec McDowell (Dark Angel)

Jason Teague (Smallville)

Jake Gray (Devour)

Priestly (Ten Inch Hero)

Tom Hanniger (My Bloody Valentine)

Dean Winchester (SPN/The Winchesters)

Jack Durfy (Buddy Games)

Soldier Boy/Ben (The Boys)

Beau Arlen (Big Sky)

Russell Shaw (Tracker)

Mark Meachum (Countdown)*

*We might not see him this round, but he's going on the list.😊

If you have any bingo-related questions, send an ASK or DM me.

I hope you have a fabulous day!

[lightofraye]

Jensen's Roles (past and upcoming)

This one is gonna be a long one! Bear with me folks. (Not his full list of work, by the way.)

1. Eric Brady. Sami Brady's long-lost twin! I remember getting into an argument with my older brother about Eric Brady. My brother insisted Sami never had a twin, and I kept saying "Well! He's her twin!" Turned out Days of Our Lives forgot Sami had a twin! (Days of Our Lives)

2. Alec McDowell (and Ben McDowell). A genetic creation of Manticore, Jensen played two roles--first of a psychotic creation, Ben. He did such a good role as Ben they brought him back as the twin, Alec, named as such because he was sarcastic and, according to Max, a "smart alec". (Dark Angel)

3. CJ Braxton. CJ's had an interesting storyline. He was a depressed teen who turned to alcohol to cope. Nearly destroying a number of his relationships (friends and love interests, both), CJ decided to abstain from drinking. He also joined a teen helpline called The Stand. There had always been speculation that he was the father of Jen's child, though it was never revealed. (Dawson's Creek)

4. Jason Teague. Jason was probably a weak storyline, to be honest. He had potential, but the writers really didn't make it work. He was in a relationship with Lana, but only using her to get closer to the other characters for some stones of power. His character was unceremoniously killed off at the end by a meteor shower. (Smallville)

5. Dean Winchester. The most famous role of all: the elder Winchester brother. Protector, stand-in parent, hunter, brother, friend. Dean would move the world to protect his brother, Sam. There was nothing he wouldn't do for him. Dean had made bargains to save his brother, sold his soul, endured lifetimes. As long as he had Sam, Dean would be okay. The show began with the brothers and ended with them. (Supernatural)

6. Soldier Boy. The "first" Supe. (In the world of The Boys, they don't say "Superhero", largely because, guess what? It's trademarked, so a lot of other comics and such have to dance around the term.) Anyway. Soldier Boy was the first. He did it in hopes of finally impressing his father, but his father claimed he "cheated". Honestly, Soldier Boy's father sounds like an abusive douche. Ben--Soldier Boy--was also an abusive douche, continuing the family 'tradition'. Was very cruel and abrasive to his team, Payback, so much so that Vought decided they had enough and plotted to get rid of him by selling him out to Russia. It worked. Russia held him captive, tortured him for decades, until The Boys freed him in exchange for killing Homelander--who is also his son. It's a messed up family, y'all. Jensen will be returning for Season 5! (The Boys)

7. Beau Arlen. Beau Arlen was a mystery, for the large part. The show teased at something huge that led to Beau getting divorced from Carla, that led to him "retiring" as a sheriff for a time, before he was convinced to come back as a sheriff, which led to the start of Season 3. There was a small teaser in the show that indicated a partner of his was killed and he shut down, emotionally, and Carla couldn't handle it anymore. He dearly loves his daughter, Emily, and was ready to move heaven and earth to save her. (Big Sky)

8. Russell Shaw. What's a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a secret? You'd get Russell Shaw, that's who. What we do know: he stood up a lot to his father, who was a paranoid survivalist, protecting his siblings, at least for a time. Then their father was killed and Russell ran, afraid he would be (rightly) blamed for it. For some 20 years, Russell was in the military (approximately 18 years) before retiring to be a secret Black Ops agent of sorts for a group known as Horizon. He kept in touch with their sister Dory, but Colter kept avoiding Russell, up until Russell tracked him down and asked for help. There's a lot of hints that there's a lot more going on that Colter is unaware of--like how it was their mother who urged Russell to run instead of facing his siblings about their father's death, how Dory kept a box of stuff about their father, and so forth. Jensen will return for more episodes. (Tracker)

UPCOMING

9. Mark Meachum. Very little is known about this show or character. What has been said so far: LAPD officer Mark Meachum being recruited to join a secret task force of undercover agents from all branches of law enforcement to investigate. Among this secret task force is Nathan Blythe, Special Agent in Charge who’s been with the Bureau for 22 years. Then there's Special Agent Amber Oliveras, who is a DEA agent. Several others from different task forces will be joining Meachum in uncovering the conspiracy and saving the city. (Countdown)

10. Soldier Boy (again). This time for the prequel, Vought Rising. Kripke described it as: It’s a twisted murder mystery about the origins of Vought in the 1950s, the early exploits of Soldier Boy, and the diabolical maneuvers of a supe known to fans as Stormfront, who was then going by the name Clara Vought. (Vought Rising)

--

Phew! These are the notables. Of course, he's done voicework as both Red Hood and Batman in a number of animated films. He's done guest roles in the Buddy movies. Devour. My Bloody Valentine. And others.

[islandtarochips]

Koa's Ex-Wife Introduction: Aroha Arehe Nikau

Ok! I had promised @alypink that I'll be showing of what Koa's Ex-Wife looks like! And I'll be sharing small info about her! So here we GO!

General:

Name: Aroha

Full Name: Aroha Arehe Nikau

Alias(es): Aroha, Aro (use to be called that by Koa)

Age: 42

Gender: Female

Nationality: New Zealander

Languages Spoken: Maori (Main Language), English

Date of Birth: November 26th

Place of Birth: Ben Lomond, New Zealand

Height: 5'8ft/172cm

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Marital Status: Single (Divorced)

Universe: Black Ops: Cold War

Faceclaim: Miriama Mcdowell

BACKSTORY:

Aroha used to live a happy married life with the man who she thought she loved.

She was very young when she got married. She was 17 and Koa was 20. The two were always happy during the marriage and she wouldn’t ask anything else but spending time with her lover.

Her family WARNED her about marrying this man because they heard rumors about his father’s attitude after the wife had passed away. She ignored the warning, knowing that Koa would never be like that awful man.

Until after having her 3rd child.

Her husband had started to act strange. He’s been going out most of the time, hanging out with friends and even came home late while being DRUNK.

She was worried, she was anxious, she was ANGRY. She’s tired of seeing him coming home after drinking. So she started to confront him and argued with him. Ignoring him being upset. She suddenly got slapped by him and got beaten up by him.

She was shocked and hurt and confused as to why he would change so suddenly?

She’s even more scared to see him hitting their own kids. She wanted to reach out to her family for help but he knew when she TRIED to.

She’s been putting up with his angry attitude for 16 years. Getting the beating and trying to protect/defend her kids from his wrath. But her emotion couldn’t even TAKE it. So her daughter tried to help her out to get away from her husband.

She even noticed her daughter’s strange behavior as well. Ever since Koa had brought his ‘friend’ over. She doesn’t know why.

Later that night, Aroha was washing the dishes. She heard something from outside of the backyard. She went to investigate before gasping to see her daughter….unalive…suicide. She started to cry before her sons ran in and saw this as well. The 2nd older son quickly pushed his little brother back in the house to avoid looking at their dead sister.

Then ran to his mom to hug her and try to calm her. Before Koa ran in and saw this as well.

After a few days from the incident. She started to stand up for herself and had slammed the divorce papers in front of Koa. DEMANDING him to sign it. She had enough of his nonsense and she has custody to take HER sons away from him.

She thought he was going to beat her up but surprisingly saw him grabbing the pen and signed the paper.

She was confused but wasted no time as she took the papers, packed their things and left the house to live with her brother. The brother gladly took her in and was comforting her from the loss of her daughter.

She knows her brother will be going out to deploy in a few months. Which she is ok with. As long she gets to have a roof over her head and for her sons.

Few years later, Aroha was living her best life with her sons and her family. As she finally moved on from her Ex-Husband. But…she somehow felt like a part of her was missing…even after the divorce.

Trying to ignore the feeling but it would not go. She even wonders what that missing piece is. Until bumping into someone she knew. That missing piece.

Ok! That's about it for Koa's Ex-Wife! So I hope you like her! Love ya peles!😚❤️

[eevvvaa]

• Dean Winchester

The Raven - Part 6 by @roonyxx

The Raven - Part 7 by @roonyxx

Safe Here - I Hate My Mom by @because-imma-lady-assface

Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts by @deanwritings

All In or All Out? by @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

Help, I'm Dying by @queen-of-deans-booty

Low Battery by @thirdsaltyhunter

Be My Cherry Pie by @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

Love Language by @mind-empty-just-fictional-people

• Soldier Boy

Suddenly by @mind-empty-just-fictional-people

Imagine: How Ben reacts to his girlfriend having cramps during her period by @zepskies

• Alec Mcdowell

Heat Cycle by @addictofsupernatural

Taking Care Of Him by @addictofsupernatural

Kiss It Better: A Dark Angel Fic by @crashdevlin

• Jensen Ackles

At Your Mercy by @k-slla

• Beau Arlen

Tap The Badge by @xenaxena

[lone-western-coyote]

Some Newer Bots ⇩

{All of the following bots are on j.ai}

Dean Winchester: “Dean now alone, his dad going after the yellow eyed demon, and Sammy in Stanford. Dean comes to you, one of John’s friends—somehow he convinced you to hunt with him. Now a month later, resting in Wyoming in early February—he wakes up and you’ve already brought breakfast.” MLM, Older user, SFW intro

Dean Winchester: “Being older Dean didn’t know what to feel when around you, thinking he was a bit too old for ya. But honestly, he didn’t care about the age gap—though he still can’t bring himself to act on his feelings. He’s conflicted on what to do, just thinking about you as he washes the dishes in the bunker.” MLM, Older Dean, SFW intro —a reverse of bot above.

Alex McDowell/X5-494: “Of course you would be forced to breed with Ben’s twin of all of the transgenics. Manticore knew what they were doing, Alec or well X5-494, doesn’t really care. He just wants to get this over with, holding resentment for the punishment he was forced to face because of the ‘09 escape.” Anypov, breeding partners, Semi-SFW intro.

Richard “Richie” Kirsch: “Richie has always found serial killers fascinating, the murders in ‘96 Woodsboro is what started it all. But that wasn’t the only case he had gotten obsessed with, there was another killer. You, who had disappeared over a decade ago, and now Richie has found you. Wanting to meet you himself, he breaks in.” Anypov, serial killer user/obsessed Richie, SFW intro.

Just some bots I’ve made recently, I need to keep making more. Ideas are welcomed, I might start doing requests soon. Because my creative is low right now for some reason. Want to find my j.ai account? Go here ➜ howdy!!

[guiltye]

the fact that manticore in dark angel is so powerful enough so that they can make zack mostly just artificial organs,  and still be alive.     nevermind that it was rumored that director renfro was dipping into the gene pool for herself just so that she can age slower and look youthful.     had manticore not burn themselves down to the ground,  they could have possibly mastered mortality.     manticore could have created immortality,  and with the way that their missions ran,  would likely only give it to the wealthy.

which is how ben was able to survive max killing him, at his own request, because he couldn't bear to be experimented on at the hands of manticore. manticore collected ben's body that was left behind, and brought him back to life, replacing broken vertebras with artificial ones. instead of being treated to help him cope with his deteriorating mental health, they instead decided to dissect him (almost literally; ben remembers being pulled apart) before glued back together. ben's undoing is also why alec was put in torture psy-ops (a brainwashing machine that is used to indoctrinate transgenics).

[readingoals]

Mid Year Book Freak Out Tag (2024)

I know I'm a bit late with this but I figured I might as well still do it 🤷‍♀️I wasn't tagged but hey if you also haven't done it and want to consider this a tag, feel free lmao

This is hard to narrow down because I've read some absolute crackers and nothing is like super standing out from the rest. Maybe The Next Big Thing by James Colley just for how fun and Aussie it was, or maybe Dumb Witness by Agatha Christie because it was a clever mystery with some really great Poirot/Hastings banter.

Another toughie because though I've not read many sequels, the ones I have picked up have all be great. Recently I caught up on the last two The Adventure Zone graphic novels and god I just love that series so much. I loved the podcast and I think they're done a great job of adapting them.

Also right up there are Everyone on this Train is a Suspect by Benjamin Stevenson and The Kiss Curse by Erin Sterling, both of which I adored.

I've surprisingly not re-read all that many books this year (yet anyway, there's a couple I wouldn't mind getting to). So I think it has to be The Shadow of the Wind. That's been one of my fave books for years now and it had been a while since I last picked it up so it was so great to revisit it again.

As it has been for the last few years, the genre I've been reading most is mystery. Most of those are Agatha Christie's since I try and read one a month.

Oh theres a few of these. A Botanical Daughter was probably my most anticipated release of the year but it took aaaggggesss for me to get my hands on a copy because the place i pre-ordered it from went into voluntary administration so my copy was never shipped. I mean I probably wasn't going to read it until October anyway but while waiting for it to arrive I also read some reviews that said it kind of missed the mark so I'm a little less excited now. The other book I still havent got around to picking up is Kill Your Husband by Jack Heath even though I was really excited for it too. And then there's also Clairmont by Lesley McDowell which I hadn't known was coming out but I saw in store and immediately bought and then also didn't read it.

Definitely Graveyard Shift by M.L. Rio. I think Ben Aaranovitch also has something new coming around September but I'll admit I'm a little behind on all of the rivers of london novellas and stuff. The Benjamin Stevenson has a Christmas book coming and I think the next book in the Ex Hex series is also due out and I'll probably pick it up pretty quick.

Hopeless Aromantic. Huge disappointment. I was really interested in a queer nonfic book that focused on aromanticism rather than asexuality and it just missed the mark by so much. It was poorly researched and cobbled together and frankly not worth anyone's time.

The Mysterious Mr Quin by Agatha Christie. I've read a few of her short story collections before so I went in expecting the usual sort of thing and it definitely felt like it was going along similar lines to start. But it got weird. In a good way. It feels as if the stories flirt with fantasy elements, and the last one even crosses over maybe? almost? Mr Harley Quin came off as kind of creepy too. It was definitely not quite like her usual stuff and I really really enjoyed it.

I've read from I think 9 or 10 authors that were new to me and yet I'm not really sure how to answer this, no one super stands out. Maybe Erin Sterling? I've read two of her romances this year (tho does she really count since it's the pen name for rachel hawkins and i've read one of her mysteries?), the book I read from James Colley was also really good and I'd probably pick up whatever he wrote next, so maybe him? From a nonfic author, Carnage by Mark Dapin (an Aussie true crime book) was very interesting and I liked he way he handled such difficult topics, so maybe him?

Probably Alex Easton from the T Kingfisher novellas?

I don't think anything I've read this year has really made me cry. I thought Loveless might but it didn't this time around. I guess I did get a bit blurry eyed during The Adventure Zone: Eleventh Hour graphic novel and same with Carnage, but not full tears.

Oh, so many lmao. The TAZ graphic novels, Ghosts: The Button House Archives, The Thread That Binds, Everyone On This Train is a Suspect, Cain's Jawbone (happy that I got it solved though I never got confirmation I was right lmao).

Okay this one is easy. My Folio Society edition of The Shadow of the Wind. Also, since I answered this last year I've also got the Folio Society edition of Frankenstein and I know I got it last year but I couldn't not mention it.

I also found some of Georgette Heyer's mysteries in a great edition at the lifeline book fest

I have 6 more Agatha Christie books to read (I'm partway through one of them now). Then there's also the copy of Northanger Abbey that Lauren annotated for Christmas last year, that'll be coming up soon, and whatever book we decide to annotate and swap for this years present. I'd like to spend October reading at least a couple of Frankenstein/Mary Shelley inspired books so I'll probs try and get to A Botanical Daughter then, maybe Clairmont and maybe Chicano Frankenstein or any of the others I have. I'd also really like to get to Every Time I Go On Vacation Someone Dies but I'm saving it for like the end of the year when it's summer.

[thebiggerbear]

DARK ANGEL MASTERLIST

ALEC MCDOWELL

● "I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." - (Alec x Reader) You’re looking for a way to set yourself up and blend in after breaking out of Manticore. Having heard the rumors, you seek out Max for help. In doing so, you come across someone you had never thought you’d see again. ● Nothing But Killing Time - (Alec x Reader) Manticore has recaptured you and this time, you’ve been assigned a breeding partner. From the moment you meet, it’s evident that neither you nor X5-494 have anything in mind other than a means of escape. Can you two come up with a plan together to break out and reclaim your freedom? Or will Manticore come between you and shatter the fragile trust you’ve built?

BEN | X5-493

MAX GUEVARA

MALEC

BEN x MAX

dividers by @firefly-graphics

[winchestergirl2]

September Reading Recs

To show some love and appreciation to all the amazing writers here on tumblr, who take the time to give us all these incredible stories (for free), allowing us to escape into these worlds. Here are all the fantastic fics I've read this month. 💖

Many of these fics and blogs are 18+ only, and NSFW please heed the author's individual fic warnings and requests regarding no minors. I am not responsible for your media consumption.

Reading Recs Masterlist

The Boys

Soldier Boy

Say it @rizlowwritessortof

Ben has a jealous streak, and you have a stubborn streak - but only one of you can win.

Stranded @justagirlinafandomworld

What you wanted @em-ontv

Authors Summary: you were the newest member of Payback, and despite everything, you stayed, wanting to prove yourself to them, to Soldier Boy. And in the end, you did get what you wanted.

In the Dark @zepskies

Authors Summary: You and Ben have tackled the insurmountable together, but no one said the recovery would be easy.

Supernatural

Sam Winchester

Untitled drabble @supernaturalfreewill

Untitled drabble @supernaturalfreewill

Dean Winchester

Before the first light @impala-dreamer

Authors Summary: ~ With Michael pounding away in his head, ready to break free at any moment, Dean realizes he has no other choice but to do what Billie says and lock himself away forever. He hadn't planned on telling her, hadn't planned on a goodbye, but Y/N wouldn't let him leave without one more night...~

when were you going to tell me @thebiggerbear

Authors Summary: After finding out you concealed something from him on a hunt, Dean is not happy with you and he definitely does not appreciate your attempts at humor on the subject.

Let's go for a drive @rizlowwritessortof

Ten Inch Hero

Boaz Priestly

Code Red @zepskies

Authors Summary: When you call him for help, Priestly realizes that he finally has the relationship of his dreams.

Dark Angel

Bullseye @zepskies

Authors Summary: Alec’s tired of being ignored. Whatever you’re reading can’t be as interesting as his company, now could it?

Being Human @zepskies

Authors Summary: Your life made sense before Alec slipped his way in. He unravels your threads without even trying. He frustrates you as easily as he weasels back into your good graces. But you soon realize that this man is worth the challenge.

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." - Alec McDowell Prompt Response @thebiggerbear

Authors Summary: You're looking for a way to set yourself up and blend in after breaking out of Manticore. Having heard the rumors, you seek out Max for help. In doing so, you come across someone you had never thought you'd see again.

Flour Fire @artyandink

Authors Summary: Baking with Alec? It’s more of a challenge than it lets on, really. Especially since he’s a goof in and out, and now you have to deal with it. But then again, you could get carried away yourself, even if you don’t want to.

[sydmarch]

ok @minetteskvareninova & @caleblandrybones as promised here's everything i can find on the filming of heaven knows what & the whole "pretending to be homeless" thing. surprisingly after not finding any of the old articles i remember reading in my reblogs the first mention of it i managed to find was actually in a more recent interview i was just reading for funsies & didn't expect to be relevant here:

Though he has no formal Method training, Jones harks back to that tradition – especially in this era of actors as bland, gym-pumped corporate ambassadors. He was recommended to intensity merchants the Safdie brothers for the role of Ilya, the blade-hurling junkie in their 2014 heroin memoir Heaven Knows What on the basis that: “He will do what you need him to do in terms of immersing himself.” He hit the New York streets to understand the vagrant’s life. “I was panhandling a little bit and made $150 in a day.” You suspect there may have been the odd Landry Jones fan among the donors. He didn’t, though, as some have speculated online, go as far as shooting up as part of his preparation: “I worked with Malcolm McDowell [on Antiviral] and he told me: ‘You don’t need to do that shit. You can just be an actor.’”

this interview doesn't really get into his experience staying on the street but is kid of like a precursor to the experience that i found interesting bcus i'd actually never read about their first time meeting before:

So you met him in person for the first time when he arrives for the shoot? Josh Safdie: Yes. His agent asked us to put him in a fancy hotel and stuff. We rolled up to the hotel [that first night].

Ben Safdie: Everybody [from the cast] ended up staying at that hotel soon enough.

Josh Safdie: Yeah, he had a lot of people in that room. Everyone from the street was in his hotel room, they were throwing bottles out the window. So, we pull up to this stoop, and he was sitting in front of the hotel and asked immediately, “Why am I staying at this hotel?” And we were like, “Well, because your agent said…”

Ben Safdie: He said, “I thought you guys were real.”

Josh Safdie: “I thought this was going to be like a real situation. Where are Ari and Ilya staying?” It was about five degrees out, and I said, “Well, because it’s so cold, they stay at this Internet café on Eldridge.” He goes, “I’m going there.” I said, “Well, let’s hang out first.” We took him over to Sean’s house, and we watched a bunch of movies. And then I dropped him off back at his hotel and said, “Tomorrow I’ll introduce you to Ari and Ilya.”

But he didn’t go back to his room. He went and found the Internet café and got time on a computer, and stared at Ilya, the real Ilya, while he was passed out. He had known what he looked like, so he just stared at him and watched how he slept and everything. Arielle wasn’t there that night … Then the next day, I introduced him.

Ben Safdie: That first meeting, we were all sitting at a McDonald’s, and Caleb was just kind of witnessing Ari and the real Ilya. He was very careful not to say anything or do anything — he was just watching them. And, for me, that’s when I realized that he was going to be able to do it, because of the way he was watching. Every once in a while he would say something; he knew what to say to get Ilya on his side, not that it was phony in the slightest — he just knows people. That’s what you’d hope from an actor. He would say things and slowly work his way into the world.

also "At this point, Caleb was fully in costume, looked a lot like Ilya. He showered once, the entire shoot, maybe. He smelled horrible." lmao the dedication.

this one also isn't the one i was looking for where they actually talk about his experience prepping for the role but it does get mentioned:

Benny: I heard that on Contraband he got arrested and cost production a lot of money because he was sitting in jail for three days. For Heaven Knows What, he was upset that we gave him a hotel room. He wanted to stay on the streets immediately with everybody. He’s like, “If I’m going to be playing a kid on the streets, I want to be living with them.” Eventually, he found them and hung out in the streets. But when they found out he had a hotel room, everybody went back to his hotel room and he kind of fit in perfectly. You could see him observing and understanding everything.

i SWEAR back in like 2015 i remember reading another interview where they actually talked directly to caleb about his time filming but i cannot fucking find it & i've dug through literally every interview i was able to find for this movie. also totally disregard what i said in my tags earlier about "wasn't it filming for this when he met katya" bcus once i used my brain cells for 2 seconds i realized that doesn't make any sense timeline wise so it wasdefinitely a different time he looked homeless ig (lmfao???) bcus i distinctly remember him saying she thought he was homeless & didn't believe he was an actor but i will be attempting to dig up that interview later rn i need a break from looking at screens bye