#i've wanted to kill myself all week lmao

[aweirdbugcreature]

Guy who buys the groceries left at the cash register, girl who drinks the milk and cheese packet from Mac and cheese, nby who stares at a gif listening to music for 10 minutes

[shikai-the-storyteller]

TBH the best case scenarios in my mind for Fit's lore ending on Thursday are either:

Madagio has mercy. They know what it's like to lose everyone they love, and seeing what's happening on Quesadilla Island is just a reminder of everything they loved and lost. Madagio releases Fit, and he reunites with Pac e Mike and Richarlyson, and they're all able to leave Quesadilla Island.

Or:

Madagio and Fit destroy the Federation together. Fit goes full 2B2T mode and there's nothing left of the Federation once they're finished. Madagio and Fit finally have their revenge. (And then maybe Fit can reunite with Pac + all his loved ones and they escape the Island, or reclaim the island for their own since the Federation no longer has any power over them).

Bonus: A very unlikely but "Wouldn't it be fun?" scenario would be Pac and Mike flying down on a fully-grown dragon Richas and rescuing Fit from Vacuus Island and they fly away and live happily ever after.

[bladeofthestars]

.

[neverendingford]

.

[honeyviscera]

what if i just stayed up all night to get this done

[urprettylittlething]

In The Shadows

Purge Alternate Universe

Yandere - Gojo Satoru x Reader x Geto Suguru

A/N - Okayyyy I've been working on this for like a week and it's the longest I've ever written for one thing, I had a shoulder injury which is mostly healed up now during the week which hindered my progress a little because I originally really wanted this to get out nearer Halloween time, but oh well TT at least its here now right? Lmao, but I hope you guys enjoy it, I tried my best and lowkey kind of hate it, I wished I could've done more or something, but if you have any ideas around this for a possible part 2 let me knoww, although no promises ;) Consider this a massive thank you story, I now have over 100 followers and the likes and reblogs and comments, you guys, I'm crying, I love you all so much <333333 I love interacting with you guys and your comments on my stories or in my inbox <3333 you all make my day ilysm <3 :( AND IM SORRY I COULDNT HELP IT, they're kind of really mean so its more harsh yandere than the soft you all wanted :( I couldn't help myself its a purge AU TT, but I promise ill make something softer in the future <33 sorry this is so long omfg, but let me know your thoughts pretty please &lt;3 and if you actually read all of this ily

summary - Another purge night is here and you think your safe and sound, but let your guard down and you'll find yourself bound.

warnings - purge, mentions of 'off screen' murder, actual 'off screen' murder, kind of gore but reader doesn't see it, blood, rope, reader gets tied up, gags?, tape over readers mouth, they're actually kind of really mean lol, especially Geto, descriptions of panic, anxiety, overthinking, stalker situation kind of, swearing, crying, brief hair pulling, if there's any more let me know ml <3

genre - Oneshot

wc - 7.2k

~spelling and grammar fixed already~

Edit - the top photo 6/11/23

The tip tapping of fingers on keys echoed around the silent room. The occasional footfalls of people around her walking up and down. Picking up books to further aid their studying would slip past the music playing in her ears when they were loud enough.

Every time she would hear someone being a little too loud for the library they were in she would glance up and shoot a half-hearted glare their way.

They’d never see her but it was the thought that counted. A barely audible sigh escapes her as she brings a hand up to massage her cold fingertips into the throbbing skin at her temple. 

Nervous nibbling was occupying her teeth and lips, chewing away the flesh and creating tender spots her tongue would soon soothe. 

She’d been staring at the same empty document for two hours now. No more than two sentences she was able to come up with before she’d erase them in a fit of frustration.

Abandoned textbooks lay closed behind her laptop, she’d deemed them no use around thirty minutes in, but she couldn't bring herself to get up and search for better ones. 

She was antsy, not able to focus on her assignment due in a week's time. Her brain was all fogged up, too many thoughts going through her mind and yet she's not able to focus on a single one.

The purge was tonight. March 21st. And it was currently 1pm. 

Why did she even bother to come to the library in the first place? Was she hoping to distract herself even just a little bit before she had to hunker herself down in her dorm for twelve hours? 

Maybe. Yes.

Was it working? Absolutely not.

She was too skittish. Overthinking everything that had the potential of happening later and things that have previously happened. 

‘Someone's not going to come and try to kill me just because I forgot to return their pen that one time, right?’ 

The amusing, albeit a little dark, thought did make the corner of her lips twitch just the smallest amount. 

Taking off her headphones after stopping her music, she closes down her laptop and starts to move it into her bag. 

She spares a quick glance around the few tables next to hers as she stands with the library's books in her arms. Her eyes locked with a man sitting roughly two tables down. Slumped back in his seat.

Gojo Satoru. Bright white and fluffy hair paired with a set of dazzling blue eyes. The ones currently peeking over the tops of his round shades that had slid down his nose as he tucked his head down slightly. 

Sitting in front of him and abstracting her view of Gojo only slightly is who she assumed was Geto Suguru. Two peas in a pod and never seen without the other. The long black and silky strands of hair tied up in a half up bun was a giveaway to who he was as well.

Both of them were originally from Tokyo, Japan. Coming over to America over five years ago. Or at least that's what she’s heard from around the place, not knowing them personally. They were the most popular boys in school when she had joined a little over a year ago and they still held the title strong.

She doesn’t think she's ever really interacted with them. At Least not on any kind of personal level. Sure, maybe from a few friends of friends or passing each other in the hallway and being polite to her upperclassmen, but nothing all that memorable. 

Which is why this prolonged eye contact is sending a very noticeable shiver down her spine. The smallest twitch of a smirk on his face and she was breaking eye contact, gulping down the pooled saliva in her mouth as she turned around and hastily made her way in between the towering bookshelves.

Leaving the library after stacking the books she’d previously taken back on the shelves, she hastily makes her way down the long corridors. Keeping her head down, her hands clutched tight on the strap of her bag. She passes very few people in the hallway.

Even after pushing through the doors and trekking her way to the dorms at the end of the path, there were very few people loitering around outside. Some of the people she passed looked like they could be stoned, not that she could really blame them. Some looked a little too relaxed and happy and some were just trying to get to their destination as quickly as possible. Like her.

As the doors came into view, and then the stairs, she slowly began to relax, her fast pace lessening up. Successfully getting to the safest place she could for when the purge would start. 

It was also a massive relief that her two good friends would be staying with her during the twelve hours of horror. Last time she was by herself there had been multiple scares throughout the night. Nothing too big but something she didn’t think she could handle alone again. 

Reaching her door on the third floor she fiddles with her keys for a few seconds before her door clicks open and she pushes her way inside. Closing the door and locking it again for good measure. 

It was 1:43 pm.

A few minutes after she had arrived back at her dorm did she realize she still needed to pick up some food items. Being a broke student meant she had essentially nothing in her cupboards or her fridge. And if she was ‘hosting for the purge’ this year, it meant she had to stock up at least a little bit. 

‘Imagine trying to hide from a killer and your stomach growls, I think I would just die on the spot.’ She thinks, the smallest smile gracing her face. Humour is usually her way to cope in situations like these. It’s either that or panicking and she’d rather try to save that for the main event.

With a heavy sigh and hesitation weighing her limbs down, she slowly puts her shoes and jacket back on. She can make this quick. In and out. Easy peasy. 

With a quick jump while shaking her limbs out to get rid of her last minute hesitation, she quickly opens her door and steps out before shutting it behind her. No going back now. Locking the door behind her, she starts making her way back down the stairs and out the doors, walking in the direction of the food store. 

Her nerves were still playing up though, eyes darting this way and that as if trying to find a reason for her to panic. ‘It’s okay, the purge hasn’t started yet, all those things are still illegal.’ Is what she keeps telling herself while taking a deep breath. But the fact they won’t be in a few hours was still cause for some panic. 

Arriving at the store, she wizzes around, collecting any good looking snack and throwing it in her basket before hastily paying and leaving. The heavy plastic carrier bag hanging from her fingers gave her reason to think she went a bit overboard. 

Her quickened steps and accelerated breathing were all she could hear for a while. Her walk back to her dorm was supposed to be a quiet one, less and less people were loitering around meaning less and less noises to distract her. 

Especially from the new set of footsteps that have appeared behind her.

As soon as her mind clocked the extra set of footsteps there, it went into overdrive. ‘Who is that? Are they following me? No, you're being delusional, they're just trying to get back home. But are they? They just appeared out of nowhere. Are they going to try and kidnap me? Rape me? Stuff me in a van? Drag me down a dark alleyway and murder me?’

Her mind was racing, steps quickening and breathing silenced under the new threat. ‘Oh god, what if they’re stalking me? Waiting until the purge starts to come and slaughter me? They’re going to kill me. They’re going to kill me. What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?’

And then they were gone. 

It barely registered in her mind that the fast paced footsteps from behind her had vanished. A sharp breath escaped her before her head whipped around on a desperate whim. No one. Not a soul on the path behind her. 

Her shoulders sank with relief and a watery laugh broke free from her trembling lips. ‘I’m losing my mind.’ She thought. Even though that feeling in her gut had faded, it never fully disappeared. Her racing heart never slowed and neither did her footsteps. 

Y/n hurried back to her dorm, almost running through the doors and up the stairs to fumble with her keys and quickly burst in. Double checking she locked the door behind her, and then checking every other lock on her third story apartment. Only when she had made sure they were all secure could she finally relax. 

Her body shivering and hands shaking from the after effects of adrenaline. Her breathing is still a little shaky as she pulls a bunch of pillows and blankets into her tiny living room. Pushing her chair and sofa away to make more space as she lays everything out as neat as she could, making the floor a comfy space for her and her two friends to crash for the purge. 

She empties the snacks from out of the plastic bag and piles them in a nice little corner near the TV. A small stack of movies there for when they’re all waiting for the purge to start. Some cards in a pack were also placed there. 

The three of them are wanting to be as quiet as possible while the purge is going on. Everything locked, curtains drawn, lights off, TV with no volume and only subtitles, quiet games to play in case they got bored, etc. 

They weren’t taking any chances. It was doubtful anything would happen, since nothing really ever did in the dorms. No student here would go as far as murdering somebody, everyone mostly stayed inside, not wanting to risk anything. She only knew of a few people that have snuck out before to rob a few stores, or do some petty revenge like smashing someone's car without getting into trouble.

But overall, it was best to remain quiet. They didn’t want to get murdered because the TV was turned up too loudly and attracted some wrong attention. 

It was 5:15 pm.

This is the time her friends arrived. Knocking some made up code on the slab of wood before messaging just for good measure that it was really them outside. 

After unlocking the door and letting her two good friends inside her dorm she swiftly closes and locks it again. Relieved greetings transpire as well as nervous whispers about the purge and some small gossip of who they think would actually go out this year and who are likely to stay inside. 

The three of them start to make their way around her dorm, closing all the curtains and double checking the locks on all the windows and doors. Especially the balcony and front door. 

After they’ve secured the apartment, they turn off all the necessary lights, flicking on a few electrical lanterns and setting them up around the living room, but away from the windows. They’ve left one lantern in the bathroom and one in her bedroom, both turned off, just in case of emergencies.  

The three of them settle in a spread out pile on the blankets she put down in the living room. Some snacks are passed around already and a movie is slotted into the TV, playing as background noise mostly while they talk.

Erica, a sassy but kind of dumb girl, with choppy shoulder length hair that had been bleached and dyed a light green. She's donned in a crop top and sweatpants, comfy.

Don, a friendly giant, very kind in nature but also a little muscly. He has short black hair and a sculpted jawline. He also came in sweatpants and a baggy white T-shirt, also comfy.

Her two very good, and only, friends here. They’re in a few of her classes and all regularly hang out together. 

“So,” Erica begins after her mouthful of powdered donut. “Who do you think is going to actually purge tonight? Like, actually actually. My moneys on them two hotties in my class.” She finishes, wiggling her eyebrows..

Don hums around his half empty soda can. “Yeah, honestly I wouldn't be surprised if they did.”

Y/n pipes up, “Wait who?” sitting up against the sofa behind her, getting comfy like she's about to hear the gossip of a lifetime.

“Oh, Em, G! You haven’t heard of it? You’ve seriously been, like, living under a rock or something.” Erica says jokingly. Picking apart pieces of her donut and eating them. 

Don perks up too. “Really? You haven't?” Y/n shakes her head in denial as Don shrugs. “I get it, it’s mostly stayed in our class, hasn’t spread much further than that.” He says before crawling forward and rummaging around for more snacks.

“So get a load of this right!” Erica sits up too after finishing her donut. Waving her hands excitedly as she tells her latest gossip. “You know them two really hot upperclassmen right?” She draws out her ‘really’ and waits patiently at the end of her sentence for the other girl's confirmation. 

When she nods in slight confusion, Erica continues, “There were some major rumours in class that the two of them were late this one day because they were beating someone up. And I don't mean like a few slaps or hair pulling, I mean punches. You know?”

Y/n nods again, this time with furrowed brows and Erica continues, “At first, I didn’t believe it, obviously. But then, the two of them came into class and I swear there were blood stains on their clothes. Blood stains! Not to mention all the plasters and bandages all over their hands! I just had to believe it then! Wouldn’t you?”

After the end of her long rant she slumps back against the front of the sofa and mumbles incoherently to herself shaking her head while pouting.

Don, who had been listening silently, pipes up, “It was true, I was actually there for once.”

Y/n’s eyebrows raise in disbelief at what she had just heard. Fighting, here? She couldn’t help but to doubt it, if only just a little. Stuff like that has never happened here. Or at least while she had been here. It was just unheard of.

And for an attack so vicious to result in blood being drawn, then there must have been somewhat of a good reason for it. That was the conclusion she came to.

“I mean, there had to have been a good reason for it.” Y/n says, “They’re pretty nice people aren't they? It is Gojo and Geto were talking about here, right? They’re really popular here too.” Her eyes darted between her two friends, looking for more answers on this unexpected juicy gossip.

Erica sighs wistfully, “No, it got shut down pretty quick, which I guess is why so little people have heard about it. God, would I pay to see them fight though. Their muscles must have looked amazing.” 

They stop talking about it after that, Don getting distracted by the snacks and whining about how she didn’t get his favourite. Erica smacking him with a few pillows and complaining how he’s getting in the way of her movie she was barely even watching. 

Their playful banter did little to distract from her inner turmoil. A small shiver went down her spine again. The memory from earlier in the library resurfacing in her mind. Gojo staring her down, the creepy walk back from the shops and now learning the two had at the very least helped in injuring someone.

It could just be because it was purge day, but everything was beginning to creep her out and she was overthinking again. ‘What if he wants to attack me next? What if all of those things were connected and someone really was following me home? What if he wants to kill me? What if both of them want to kill me? Have I ever done anything to offend them? I haven’t, have I?’ She knew these were far fetched and ridiculous, but she couldn’t help but think of them anyway.

Her spiralling thoughts were halted when a stray pillow smacked her in the face. “Oops, haha, sorry.” Erica sheepishly apologized, bringing her hand up to smooth down Y/n’s ruffled hair. Don was laughing in the background.  

Y/n was stunned for a few seconds before replying, “Oh, don’t worry. How about we put something else on? This movie is kind of boring.” crawling across the piles of pillows and blankets to reach the stack of movies.

This caught the other two’s attention, eagerly rushing to the stack as well to try and get first pick. Arguing for a few more minutes before settling on a movie they all loved. Snuggling back into their original positions.

This was how the next few hours went before the announcement appeared.

It was 6:59 pm.

At exactly 7 on the dot, the TV went black before turning blue, the government announcing the commencement of the purge. Big bold letters and ‘Emergency Broadcast System’ and ‘This is not a test’ were displayed on the screen.

They were all quiet as it played out. The mood quickly turned sombre.

“Weapons of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during the Purge. All other weapons are restricted.”

Don gulped.

“Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity from the Purge and shall not be harmed.”

Erica huffed.

“Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 continuous hours.” 

Y/n shivered.

“Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7 am when The Purge concludes.”

She released a shaky breath. The announcement ends with “...A nation reborn.” before stopping. The screen turned black again.

No one moves or says anything. Each of them were frozen in an array of emotions. Fear being the most prominent. 

The silence stretched on for minutes. Eerie in its wake, not even being able to hear other people in their dorm rooms like she normally would.

Eventually, after releasing another shaky breath and rearranging herself with trembling limbs, they all snap back into the present. 

Don coughs and Erica shuffles awkwardly. 

“Cards, anyone?” Y/n meekly speaks up. The other two nod as they sit in a small circle. 

It was 7:36 pm.

This was when the first explosion of some kind was heard by them. Each of them froze in the middle of playing their mostly silent game of cards. The noise was distant, but the impact remained.

A scream from a few doors down echoed in the silent space.

They waited with baited breath for any follow up, but when nothing happened, they slowly relaxed. Each of them assumed it was the explosion that must have scared someone. Sometimes it’s better to think of the positive, rather than what that scream could have been for.

A few minutes later a siren bellows in the distance, a few car alarms wail.

Nothing too bad, but knowing that it could mean someone was being murdered out there didn’t give them any ease.

It was 8:02 pm. 

This is when the banging starts. Y/n thinks it could be a few doors down again. Erica thinks it’s below them and Don thinks it’s above them. 

Wherever it was, it was concerning. 

Erica releases a small nervous chuckle. “Maybe someone is just having a good time?” A fake smile plastered on her face to try and mask her worry. Even she didn’t believe her little theory. Not during a time like this, during The Purge.

It was a few minutes later, after they had quietly resumed their game, that footsteps were heard.

Clacking down the hallway. 

1, 2.

1, 2. 

1, 2. 

1, 2. 

They were walking at a leisurely pace. Taking their time. Strolling down the hallway and getting closer and closer.

All three of them looked towards the door, as if someone were to burst in at any moment.

The footsteps slow before coming to a stop. Right outside her door.

The three of them hold their breath, bodies flinching when a light knock rings out into the open space.

Complete silence.

Another knock.

None of them had even noticed the earlier noises had stopped, too focused on the potential threat now right outside the door. Seemingly wanting someone to open up.

Three pairs of eyes dart between each other. Silent questions trying to push their way out without being heard. A few panicked half shrugs and furrowed brows with downturned lips later, another knock rings out.

This time it was a little louder.

Barely audible whisperings of ‘you go’, ‘no you’, ‘fuck no’, ‘who even is it?’ cut through the silence. No one wanted to ask the question. To even speak a hint of it lest it result in it coming true.

Eventually after a solid minute of panicked, almost silent, squabbling later. A frustrated and frightened Erica pushed herself up. Taking a very obvious deep breath. Eyes closed and silently mumbling to herself before taking a few steps over to the front door.

She tried to be as quiet as she could but each step sounded like it weighed a ton. Every creek and every wobble made to sound the loudest. 

Very quietly bracing her hands upon the door, she leant up on her tiptoes. Peeking into the peephole positioned in the centre of the door.

The two left in the pile of blankets still. Not wanting to even breathe in fear of disturbing whatever was happening in front of them.

A sudden screech of pure panic and fear tore from Erica’s throat. Flailing before landing with a harsh thud on the floor beneath her. Scrambling backwards on her hands and feet, keeping her eyes on the door the entire time.

The two startle and immediately jump up, laboured breathing hindering their lungs from the sudden scare.

“What the fuck? Erica what happened? What was that?” Don frantically whispered. His eyes were also locked on the door. 

Y/n also whispered to her, “Who was that? Erica?” her eyes locked onto her friend, not able to bring herself to look at the door yet.

“It was.. Oh god.. The peep..” Erica wheezed out. The fright took too much out of her with her frantic gasps for air.

A sudden bang echoed into the room. A few more followed before they all realized it was coming from the front door. 

Erica screeched and threw herself back into a standing position, rushing for the kitchen and grabbing any sharp knife her eyes first laid on.

Don stood frozen in fear. Not able to move or barely breathe from the looks of it.

Y/n wasn’t any better herself. Downright terrified. This was her dorm. Her dorm. Which means whoever was outside, was looking for her.

The banging persisted, the person on the other side seemingly determined to get in. This proved correct when the handle started turning whichever way it could. 

She didn’t even realize, terror clouding her senses because when she looked back to her two friends, Don had collapsed into himself, wheezing with little air entering his lungs amidst his panic. Erica was cornered in the kitchen, sobbing, tears flooding her cheeks and ruining her mascara she had in place.

The persistent banging stopped for a second. The faint sound of another pair of footsteps approached from the hallway outside. Muffled talking pursued but it was hard to make anything out, between her pounding heart, Erica’s sobs and the slab of wood in the way, didn’t make for easy hearing.

For Y/n, it seemed there was one second of complete silence. No sobbing, no voices, no distant alarms or explosions, no racing heart, no wheezing lungs. Before chaos sprung onto them.

Suddenly the people outside, because there was another person now, resumed banging on the door. But it didn’t seem like they were ‘just knocking’ anymore. No.

They were trying to break the door down. 

She could see it from the way the door groaned and creaked under the relentless kicking. She couldn't quite tell if they were using their feet, or an object, or whatever. 

All that mattered was that they were trying to get in. And they were going to succeed.

“Move! Hide! We need to hide!” She whisper-yelled. Rushing to Don and tugging on his arm to try and get him to move. He stared at her for a few seconds before his brain caught up, registering what was happening around him. The real danger he was in right now.

“Hide.. Oh god..” He panted, sprinting for the bathroom, the first place his eyes had landed on.

With Don now searching for a place to hide, she ran her way to Erica. Still trying to be as quiet as she could, in the little hopes that they would think she wasn’t here.

“Erica, we need to hide! They’re getting in!” She frantically whispered to her hyperventilating friend. Trying to shake her shoulders, even resorting to lightly slapping her face to try and get her attention. She was desperate.

“Please!” The sound of splintering caught both of their attention. Heads whipping towards the door starting to cave. She wasn’t all that surprised, that slab of wood was a shitty excuse for a door anyway.

Erica suddenly sprung up and dove for the piles of blankets in the living room. Trying to bury herself amongst them, taking the knife with her.

And now that all her friends had been taken care of, she ran for her bedroom. Trying her best not to stumble and fall in the dark hallway. 

As soon as her door came into sight, she gently opened it, gunning for her wardrobe tucked into the corner of the room. Not even looking towards the turned off lantern, she didn’t need them knowing her hiding spot from something so obvious. 

It was already messy anyway, so in her frazzled brain she didn’t bother caring where she tossed piles of clothes and shoes in her room.. They’d hopefully think it was like that in the first place.

After quickly clearing a space big enough for her to curl into, she did just that. Situating herself just right, back pressed against the side of the wardrobe, knees tucked to her chest and pressed against the boxes in front of her. She was sitting on old shirts she hadn’t seen for months.

Hearing the door breaking even further, she grabbed any clothes within her reach and threw them over herself. Shutting the door when she was mostly covered, she could have sworn she could hear laughter coming from the hallway.

A loud crash and splintering tore through the air. She knew it was her front door. And now they were inside. 

Her hands slowly went up to cup around her mouth, trying to muffle her breathing as much as she could. Her body froze. Even when she already began to feel muscle cramps settling in, she dared not move. She forced herself to breathe slowly. Every inhale a struggle along with a reminder that she was still alive at this very moment. Even if she was convinced she wouldn’t be for much longer. 

The thought brought tears to her eyes. The original shock wears from her body and settles into something akin to despair. 

Her throat started clamping up, muscles seizing and throbbing with the need to cry. 

It was the thudding of footsteps that shook her out of it. Snapping her half way back into a nightmarish reality. 

She gulped. Closing her eyes and straining her ears for any information they were willing to receive.

Just as she thought. Two pairs of footsteps. 

With every thud of a shoe or a spike in their muffled talking, her body would tremble. 

It remained like this for a few more minutes. The footsteps or talking occasionally pausing. 

It was during one of these silences, where a different sound was heard. She couldn’t identify the exact sounds, just ones of commotion. They were still all muffled. And then she heard muffled yelling. 

It sounded so dulled, between the walls and layers of wood and clothes, she could barely make out anything, her ears straining for any hint as to what was happening. Being left in the dark like this, literally and figuratively, was terrifying her. 

And then this horrible, awful noise carried its way between the cracks in the wardrobe. Crunching. Cracking. Stomps. 

That muffled yelling from before kept getting cut off. Eventually dwindling down into a barely audible groan. Those thuds never seemed to stop either. Never ending, crunching, cracking, and now wet thuds. 

Her brain was trying its hardest to process, to catch up with the information that it has been provided with. 

More footsteps, only one pair, accompanied with muffled laughter. And a more distinct sound traveling through the air. 

A scream.

Even more laughter, hurried footsteps and pleas of ‘no’, ‘please’, ‘don’ts’. 

It was now, with the wet stomps still in the background, her screeching friend, that eager laugh, that her brain had finally caught up.

She was going to be sick.

They’re hurting them. Killing them.

Her friends.

Her body moved out of its own violation. Shaky hands and feet kicking and pushing their way out of the pile of clothes. Wardrobe door swinging open with a creak.

She collapsed out of it. Slumped on the floor, dry heaving. Her lungs not seeming to take enough air in but yet holding in too much. She couldn’t function. Fear overwhelmed every part of her. As well as grief. 

Her ears were ringing and she was left gasping, drool dripping onto the hard floor beneath her as a result of her attempted vomiting. Eyes wide open, blurry when she tapped back into her mind. 

Tears, clouding her vision and dripping audibly on the floorboards below her. 

In the distance she could hear muffled talking. Two men, she could make out more clearly. Not only that, but squelching, wet, gooey noises seemed to mingle in the air. Gurgling was the next before silence.

A minute passed, maybe two before the footsteps started up again. Those goddamn footsteps. 

1.. 2.

1.. 2.

1.. 2.

But they were slower than before. Steady. Taking their time. 

And getting closer.

Her instincts kick in, blinking profusely to try and clear her eyes from the tears, looking up and darting around before landing on the space under her bed.

She wouldn’t have enough time to fix her spot back in the wardrobe. She couldn’t run past them, not even in her best state which she certainly wasn’t in right now. She had considered her bedroom window as an option, but it was locked, which would take time to open. Not even mentioning the fact she was on the third floor, so jumping out would break at least something important. They would be quick to notice as well, and if they came for her, it was likely they would decide to chase her down.

Under her bed seemed to be her best option at the moment, and she was running out of time. Scrambling as quietly as she could, she slid herself directly under her bed, trying to center herself in the middle of it, tucking herself into a tight ball.

The footsteps stopped right outside her bedroom door, she had enough sense to shut it on her way in, thank god. But that clearly wouldn’t be enough to stop them. 

Almost as if the person was teasing her, they slowly clicked the door open. The distinct creak she had grown accustomed to over the months making itself known. 

Her muscles are tense, tightening in the presence of her predators. 

In the dark space from under her bed and in her room, it was obvious when the light from inside the hallway started spilling in the more the door got pushed open. In the vague depths of her mind it registered that they must’ve either turned the hall lights on, had taken one of her lanterns,  or were carrying one of their own.

Her lungs were burning with the effort to keep her body running with the little air she was allowing them to have, all for the sake of trying to keep quiet.

It was all too silent once again, only for a second or two before the second pair of footsteps came towards her. A lot more hasty compared to the other ones. 

Her breath silently hitched, the new person pushed their way into the room, stepping past their company before a thunk was heard. The sound forced her body to startle, jolting her muscles and kick starting her trembling again. An uncontrollable reaction to the fear she was under, the unrelenting motions causing a deep ache in her ribs.

The sound of rustling was now heard. It seemed they were looking for something. ‘They’re going to kill me. They’re digging around for a weapon to stab me with, to bash my head in, to murder me like they did my friends. I’m dead. I’m dead, I’mdeadI’mdeadI’mdead-’

Her racing thoughts consuming her fear riddled mind failed in picking up the sound of the other pair of footsteps slowly creeping round to the end of her bed. 

The person paused, silently crouching down low before a pair of hands reached under.

The sudden tight grip on her ankles followed up by the sudden pull had her screeching. Pure terror flooding her veins. She had been yanked out from under her bed, lying sprawled on the floor and gazing up at the towering man stationed above her. 

Her lungs burned, seizing up before a sickening scream escaped her. Fuelled by genuine, unrestrained horror. 

They had found her.

One of her lanterns they had brought in illuminated his face in a haunting light. The darkened shadows stretching and contorting behind him to create the most grim image for her mind to paint. Not that it was far off.

A foot standing on either side of her hips, straddling her if it wasn’t for his standing position. Hands nestled comfortably back in his trouser pockets now they had done the job of retrieving her. A comfortable looking long-sleeved shirt adorned his figure. Dark splatters starting from the bottom of his shoes and creeping their way up his legs, tapering off into a few spots that painted one of his cheeks.

An easy smile softly ingrained on his face, followed by gentle looking eyes peering down at her if it wasn’t for the malicious spiral she found herself paralyzed in. Dark locks of hair extended down his back, past where she could see from her position, with the top layers sectioned off and tied back into a bun.

His mouth opened and he spoke. “Well, well. Look what I’ve caught for us Satoru.”

Satoru. The other man must be Satoru Gojo, and this was Suguru. Suguru Geto. The most popular guys she knew, the supposedly kindest. And then staring in the library, the walk back from the shops, the gossip her most likely dead friend had told her.

Her body suddenly felt like it was pumped full of adrenaline. Pushing herself up as fast as she could, using the bed as support all the while stumbling over her numb riddled legs. She took off, running towards the open door she so desperately wanted to pass through. 

A sudden arm snatched her from around her waist and she screeched. Pure instinct driving her at this point as she scratched and kicked and flailed in his, Satoru Gojo’s, hold.

The sound of something dropping before his other arm came round, collecting both her wrists in one hand of his. His grip tightened the more she fought. Her body pressed tight against his, her back to his front. His head situated itself on her shoulder, tucking over and pressing his cheek to hers even while she cried and panted and kicked.

She could feel his grin pressing against the side of her face. “Such a pretty little thing we have here. Can’t let her get away so easily now, can we? Not after all the trouble we’ve gone through.” The last part practically whispered into her ear as she turned her face as far away as possible from him. 

A little laugh boasted out from Geto. “Of course not.” He strolled over to them, bending down to pick up what Gojo had dropped in order to restrain her.

Rope.

Fucking rope.

The moment her eyes zoned in and processed what Geto was unravelling in his hands she tried to fight back even harder. Eyes flooding with tears that spilled down her cheeks. Short mumblings of ‘no’ being repeated over and over while becoming louder until she was yelling. 

“Please don’t do this! Let me go! Please, please.. Stop!” She shrieked while sobbing, convinced they were going to kill her or torture her or something horrible like that.

Gojo walked the two of them to the edge of her bed before forcefully pushing her down, manhandling her onto her front and bending her arms to rest pressing against her back.  

She sobbed into her ruffled sheets as she felt Geto fastening the rope tight around her wrists, the rough material digging into and pinching the sensitive skin. Raw and red marks already forming amidst her struggle. 

Her legs still hung off the bed, trying their best to kick and hopefully injure one or both of them, but she knew it was a losing battle. None of her landing blows made them falter in any way.

When her wrists were successfully restrained Geto kept them pressed to the small of her back while Gojo let go and reached down to grab her ankles. Pulling them up and bending her legs at the knees while they both worked in finishing the task of tying her up.

When they finally stepped back to admire the work they’d successfully done, Y/n deflated. Tears soaking into her bed in which she rested on top of. Her lungs still burned, having never stopped. The hogtied position she had been forced into leaving her nothing to work with in terms of escaping. Not that she could think clearly anyway. The distress she was under proved too much.

“Oh, Shh Sh Sh… There, there, sweet thing. Settle down for us now. We aren’t going to kill you.” Cooed, who she could only guess right now was Gojo.

Geto reached forward from his position of kneeling on the bed, gentle soothing pets stroking her hair. Her sobbing tapering off into hiccupped breathing even while flinching with every touch. “There you go, good girl. See that wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

He pulled away from her, stepping down off the bed and heading towards the previously discarded bag on the floor Y/n hadn’t noticed before..

Y/n slowly turned her head round, no longer pressed into her sheets. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, swollen from all the crying she’d been doing. Little hiccups and groans left her while her lungs tried to recover. She’d given up struggling right now, it had done nothing but cause her pain as the rope dug and squeezed the skin of her wrists and ankles. 

Gojo piped up from behind her, only now feeling the heat from his legs pressing into hers causing her to flinch. “You know, this would’ve gone a whole lot easier if you had just let us in sweetheart.” She could practically hear the smug smile in his voice. “Look at where you are now, tied up all pretty for us. Ripe for the taking.” He pressed closer to her at that, voice practically dripping with need. 

She whined in fear and started squirming at his words. Panic flooding her senses again for just a second before a sharp tug to her hair had her yelping, halting her movements.

“I thought I told you to quit that.” Geto was back to kneeling on the bed in front of her, his hand gripping tight onto her hair, eyes narrowed. 

Her bottom lip trembled, breaths picking up with every second he glared down at her. 

“Don’t be so mean, Sugu.” Gojo said, a teasing lilt in his voice. 

Geto glanced back at him before humming and letting go of his harsh grip, her scalp burning in turn. “I suppose you’re right. She’ll have plenty of time to learn when we take her back home.”

Gojo hummed and she felt him leaning away from her, hearing him crouch down and fiddle with something from the bag as well. 

“Back home?..” She stuttered, voice hoarse and throat dry.

Geto looked back down at her, amusement painting his face. “Yes. Home.”

“Where..” She started, face formed in a twist of concern and confusion. “Please.. I.. Just let me go. I won’t- I won’t tell anyone, I’ll- I’ll leave you alone, I’ll do anything, please..” She gasped out, tears gathered freshly in her eyes again, voice cracking every few seconds. 

An amused eyebrow raised with the hint of a smirk at the corner of his mouth was all she got as a response. 

Gojo had come back, reaching round and fastening a strip of duct tape around her mouth in a sudden flurry of movement. Giving her no time to process what he had done until after he had done it. 

She cried out, the sound muffled thanks to the tape, worried eyes darting around in panic as she tried squirming again for the third time. 

Gojo pressed up behind her once again. “You’re not going anywhere, sweet pea! You’re ours now. We’ve had you picked out for a long time now.” The joy in his voice didn’t fail to put her on edge, his words doing their part in helping the tears gathered in her waterline to finally spill down her cheeks. Wetting the tape situated over her lips.

“He’s right.” Geto replied. Bringing one of his hands up to show what he had collected from the bag a few moments ago. The mobile phone in his hands glowed brightly in the dark room, the lamp from before having been moved, the light now dim.

“We’ll bring you back with us soon enough, but we still have a few more hours to kill before that. And why waste them.” Gojo said, the grin in his voice unsettling her, keeping her frozen in fear.

An easy smile pulled at Geto’s cheeks at that, head tilting to the side to gaze down at their pretty prey. 

“Well what are you waiting for then, Satoru?”

A pause. Smile pulling into a predatory grin.

“Have at it.”

[goomyloid]

What was your process for making the Noelle amv, if you don't mind sharing?

hii! im not sure how eloquently or clearly ill be able to explain it but i definitely have some pictures you can look at!

(the video)

i actually got the idea while i was away on a trip with very limited wifi -- it wasn't Trust Me that i got an AMV idea for first, but instead it was one of 4syu's other songs, There's Nobody. for such a happy sounding song it really made me so sad, to the point where if i tried to sing it to myself id get choked up by the chorus LMAO. it was baddd

but basically i was rapidly trying to find both songs on spotify so i could listen to them offline, and it only took me a few loops of Trust Me and thinking about the original MV to make me go "ohhhh. how can i make this about noelle." And so i did .

i was thinking about doing a storyboard, but in the past, i've found that doing storyboards for animations/AMVs lowkey... kills my motivation altogether... SAD... but i saw the whole video so clearly in my head, and i didnt want to make the same mistake i made before... so i went right to doing quick sketches (while still on my trip...) just so i could get the ideas out of my head

i was torn on what to do with my style at the time, whether i wanted to make it more similar to the original video, or to her canon appearance, or to MY style and how i draw her. i think it kind of ended up as an amalgamation of all three...? at the very least, her light world color palette definitely was more bland and desaturated, like i purposefully wasn't trying to do anything special with her colors.

after that point, and getting maybe a few of the actual drawings done, my motivation crashed again, and i left it all to marinate for nearly a week. it was baking, guys, it wasn't abandoned, listen to me, why are you throwing tomatoes at me,

i had up to about the "I dreamed about that again" animation done and stopped, and it wasn't until i decided to sit down and start editing it anyway that i really got in my groove again. i got all my little assets into a workable state so i could really try to sit down and make the video come to life and all

the really fun part was honestly working on the desktop backgrounds. i really wanted to limit colorpicking from the original video as much as possible, but i decided that making look as similar as possible to the original could help with the contrast i wanted to add later.

i drew these two backgrounds first. i was hoping i could somehow fit the bunker into the second one, but decided to do something different anyway. the second one's ui didn't actually change until later in the editing process.

drawing THESE were fun especially, and im happy with how they came out. i think the dark world icons are really cute still. one thing i really did know i wanted to do from the beginning was to turn the soul/undertale icon into the deltarune one.

i was worried if the shift from the Windows Field Background to the dark world would be too sudden, like you would just blink and suddenly it was all different, but i think it ended up all right...?

the not so fun part was drawing all the different boxes, lmao. it go really tedious by the end, so i tried to reuse as many of the same ones as i could.

a lot of copy-pasting and tracing rectangles for sure.

i also had to make sure the animations didnt Suck. i brute forced those things and used every last braincell i had in order to make those pictures move bros

fun fact. ive never animated hair like this before. or in any complex manner really. i had to use sooo much brain here... heres how it started vs. how it ended up

had my animator gf hype me up thru the whole thing... i was having a great time based on the filenames alone

aaaand then ummmm i edited it. i learned after effects like 1 month ago. never touched it before. i learned it for internship purposes and then used my newfound powers for evil it seems

i split the whole thing up into multiple compositions of course, but i probably could have split things up more... im sorry for having 84 layers on comp 3 its not my fault

editing a video in 12 fps was a fun change though -- very easy for my brain to go frame-by-frame, and yet still some of the timing ended up being off... tis the goomy way

like i said before, i started editing when i barely had half the drawings done, but seeing it all start to be in motion really pushed me to finish it up. and i mean Really. like i finished the whole thing maybe 48 hours after i first started editing.

and...i think that's it? i do a lot of discord art streaming to friends lately but i kinda kept this one more under wraps compared to usual, i think i just wanted to surprise everyone... look guys i remembered how to make a video! and it's three minutes! waow

sorry if this is way more than you asked for LMAO

also, the AMV hit 5k views on youtube today! ive never had a video do well like that so quickly! thank you!!

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Major Blog Update: Inbox Cleared, Life Updates, a big thank you and More!

First of all the big one:

The deed is done...The Inbox is dead.

Long live the inbox.

To get a fresh start, I've deleted the current inbox of all my asks.

The inbox memes, the nightmares...they're finally over...

ANYWAYS, feel free to send in any request you may have as per usual, just figured I clear that damn thing finally out considering I've had asks that are three years old in there.

Right now I'm really getting into Honkai: Star Rail since Natlan kinda killed my enjoyment of Genshin, but those gals I will still love and write for (I mean, I'm sure as heck not changing the blog url) so don't feel discouraged if you came to this blog because of my Genshin content. And of course my other fandoms are still good to rock and roll!

One last thing before the cut:

I want to thank EVERY ONE of you for following this blog and sticking around with my goofy ah for so long.

I genuinely get excited to read any message or request you put under my posts or inbox, whether it be feedback or joking around! And I know we have the memes going on about me being drowned, please know I do genuinely take the time to look at every single one that comes in everyday, even if I didn't say anything or respond. And it means the world to me that ya'll like my writing enough to continue asking of me.

You all are the reason I even put the effort I do in this blog for so many years, from my newer followers to those who have followed me since my first blog. I could not ask for a better group than ya'll.

From the bottom of my heart, thanks, and let's have a great year together!

ANYWHO: For those who care enough, this is what's been going on with me for the last few months.

Work:

As for why I've been absent for a while: simply put because I work a retail job. Thankfully nothing too bad, it's just normal scheduling and it IS work I very much enjoy and get paid relatively well. My love for writing is still very strong as is my simping, so no worries, I don't plan on going anywhere.

I DO greatly apologize for making everyone wait for literally ANYTHING, doubly so if you had an ask I didn't get to yet. I wanted to honestly save everything into my drafts, but alas I could only choose some select ones.

You're more than welcome to send it back in, and since things have calmed down I SHOULD be getting to them a lot faster.

Genshin:

In regards to what I said earlier about Genshin: Natlan kind of killed any enjoyment I had playing, characters were REALLY unappealing to me, it made my friends stop playing so therefore I stopped as well as that was the major reason I still had it installed. I don't really plan on adding anyone from Natlan or anyone else from that game in the future, so apologies if you were looking forward to that from me specifically.

Star Rail has been filling the hole in my heart and honestly? I have a lot more writing freedom writing the gals from there, but again, don't feel afraid to send me any genshin request! I still simp for my Mondstadt women after all.

Other things I've been doing/Ideas for the blog:

I've also been playing games (and getting distracted) with my irl friends and trying to catch up on my hobbies to prevent myself from burning out, Minecraft has been a big thing lately for me again: specifically Pixelmon LMAO.

For 2025 though, I plan to at least post an imagine once a week starting next week since things are still settling down and I have to get my work schedule.

I might also start posting (Eventually) my personal writing projects here to get feedback and possibly go to AO3 to post my crossover series since Tumblr isn't really the place to be doing so (Chief among them my FE3H AU: House Isekai), or if demand is high enough I'll post it here.

Oh, and with this major update I have once again updated my banner, not that it's really important, just that I put a good amount of effort in it, more than you'd think for how simple it is. I also want to see if anyone even gets my reference LMAO

Once this post goes live, I plan to add a few new characters, starting with the Commander from Girls' Frontline but we'll see how it goes.

I think that's all I got for right now, so see ya soon guys!

- Chris

[doberbutts]

I have to ask like. When you harass someone, what is it you're looking to do/accomplish?

Are you just hurting them because you can? That makes you an asshole.

Are you trying to resolve a conflict? If it's making you follow that person around the internet goading them into responding, then *you* are *causing* the conflict at that moment.

Has that person truly hurt you? If there's not authority or staff to report them to (or rules stating that you even *can*) then the best thing for you to do is to block them.

I've been there. Dogblr fucking turned on me over 2 sentences said as a tongue-in-cheek reply to someone in the doberman tags. People who I thought were my friends, people I'd happily interacted with prior, sending me death threats and telling me to kill myself and spreading all sorts of terrible lies and rumors about me for MONTHS. Because, to them, I spoke out of turn. They blatantly admitted to wanting me gone and stated they were happy when they thought they'd chased me off for the week or so that I password protected my blog to make the harassment stop. There were posts by people I'd had extensive conversations with just days prior, stating that they had never actually liked me and were celebrating that I was "gone".

Most of them have not apologized. Most claim that they did nothing wrong, or that I somehow deserved it. I have a few dogblr friends who still reblog from these people even knowing that this happened to me. One of them fucking recently reblogged one of my posts on their newly made blog because I'd long since blocked their other blogs.

Unfortunately sometimes that's how conflicts resolve. Where people are unspeakably cruel to you and nothing ever happens to them. You tell your friends about it and they say "oh yeah I've seen this behavior from them and they suck" and yet don't stop interacting with those people.

I'm not saying it doesn't suck. It does. It hurts.

And I'm sure if any of them were to read this they'd go "lmao it was years ago get over it" as if I'm the one in the wrong for being upset about the betrayal and harassment I received at their hands.

But naming and shaming would accomplish close to nothing. I already know I'm not going to get an apology from these folks and honestly I don't think I'd accept one at this point even if they did (even if they still SHOULD). I *have* had a few apologies trickle in over the years, and have discussed at length why I'm not particularly willing to trust again, and so far that has been accepted. But not from those who were the worst about it, who still to my knowledge act like they're fucking paragons of compassion and empathy.

And certainly continuing to follow them around the internet harassing them into admitting wrong-doing would accomplish pretty much next to nothing.

Sometimes when someone hurts you, the only thing you can do is block their access to you to do it again.

[askblueandviolet]

Ask Box for Both is Open!

Fellas, is it gay to ask your buddy to go on a hunt, kill a guy together, and then harvest/eat the guy's organs together? I dunno, what do you think?

Ask box is open again! We are back to normal in terms of how asks are done :)))).

Update: Ask Box is NOT closed yet BUT- there are already so many asks in the box this time around that it's a bit crazy XDDDDDD. If this keeps going then I will have to close the box prematurely for my own sanity. So if you do have an ask that is not specifically related to this week's chapter (aka a general question) I highly recommend you saving it for next time! Thank you so much everyone :)))).

Double update: Seeing how many asks have already come through the box, I've decided to close it prematurely :'))))). The thing is, I do want to let more through, but the more that comes in, the lower the quality the answered asks will be 😭😭😭. I need to uphold some sort of standards for my own dignity and I can't burn myself out. So to those of you who couldn't get anything in, I really am sorry! Hopefully next week it might be better (but considering the content of next week's chapter, I highly doubt any of you will be any more tame than this week lmao). Perhaps one day I can figure out a solution to all of this if the packed inbox keeps happening (maybe I need to start being more selective with what questions get answered?)

[captainsophiestark]

Witch's Intuition

Mason Lockwood x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2023!

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries

Day 2 Prompt: "Don't worry, I got you."

Summary: What if Mason Lockwood had somebody who cared about him when he came to town, somebody who could keep him from his canon fate? Alternatively, I really love Mason Lockwood and the show didn't do him justice, so I wanted to. Reader is described as a girl.

Word Count: 10,445 lmao

Category: Angst, fluff, humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I sighed and stared straight ahead, hands still gripped tight on the steering wheel as I tried to psych myself up to get out of the car and go inside.

Damon Salvatore, my best friend in the entire world despite my better judgement, had asked me to come to a barbecue that Jenna Sommers was hosting. Her connection to Damon was ridiculous and confusing, and the entire barbecue was just a front for Damon and our mutual friend Ric to try to get a feel for the newest supernatural creature in town. And he wanted me here to help.

Mason Lockwood, the newest supernatural in question, had apparently gone to high school with Jenna and had recently returned to Mystic Falls. Damon felt confident he was a werewolf. As a witch, I knew for sure he was a werewolf, but absolutely no part of me wanted to get involved in the supernatural drama by telling him.

I should've known staying out of it would be impossible as long as Damon Salvatore remained my best friend.

At the sound of a knock on my window, I jumped so hard my head hit the roof of my car. I whipped around to find the werewolf I'd been thinking about standing outside my door, looking at me with a grin as he gave a little wave. I mentally cursed myself, then shoved open my door and climbed out.

"Hey," he said, giving me a bright smile that made butterflies explode in my chest. "I didn't realize you were coming to this, too."

Mason and I had met about a week ago at the grill, when he'd come over to the pool table and called winner on my game. I won, and we quickly hit it off the bat over the course of our first game, enough so that we ended up playing two more. He still didn't know I was a witch, and we'd only hung out a handful of times so far, but I still found my heart racing when he looked at me like he was looking at me now.

"Damon dragged me," I replied. "Although, I actually am excited to get to know Jenna a little better. And... others, at this party."

"Others?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. The grin took on a more flirty edge, and I couldn't help my heart speeding up a bit.

"Yeah, others. Other than Ric. I already know him."

"Okay," laughed Mason, fully throwing his head back as we started heading for the house together. "And I guess 'others' doesn't apply to Elena or Caroline either?"

"No, I know them too. I've heard all about the high school angst and then some."

"Did you tell them how much better it gets after graduation?"

"Oh yeah, I covered all the existential dread and challenge of trying to figure out what the hell to do with the rest of our lives."

"Okay good. As long as they know."

Mason and I shared a smile as we reached the door and he opened it for me, motioning for me to go ahead. I smiled, and we held our eye contact a few beats too long to be casual. Damon was going to kill me when he got here.

We quickly found Jenna and Elena in the kitchen, and I chatted with Elena a bit while Mason and Jenna caught up. I'd only gotten to Mystic Falls a little after the Salvatores, having graduated from college three years ago. At first, I'd come back to try to track down and record witch history, since so much of it was based here. But it didn't take me long to get sucked into the bullshit Damon and Stefan had found themselves neck-deep in as soon as I arrived.

For the first time, with Mason, I didn't totally mind it.

Within a few minutes of arrival, Mason decided it was time to go hunting for shot glasses and alcohol. Jenna pointed him in the right direction, and then he turned to me with a lopsided smile that made my heart stop in my chest.

"Come help me?"

"Sure thing."

I followed Mason through the house, leaving Jenna and Elena in the kitchen while we waited for everybody else to show up. He ducked into a closet, and I hovered just outside.

"Let's see here... Jenna's trying to be a responsible adult nowadays, but I bet I can still find where she stashed her old shot glasses..."

"I've spent too long finding cool shot glasses that I like to ever shove them all away in a closet forever," I mused, leaning against the door frame. Mason chuckled.

"I know what you mean. I've got different ones with the patterns of every surfboard I've ever owned."

I nodded. "That's nice, but I've got you beat. I've got supernatural-themed ones. For witches and vampires and werewolves."

Mason paused his searching to turn around and give me an appraising look. I shrugged, giving him a sheepish smile. He shook his head, but to my relief, he was smiling too.

"I should've realized you knew, with you being Damon's friend," he said, turning around to continue searching.

"Hey, I'm a born and raised witch. I knew about the supernatural long before Damon Salvatore ever came into my life, and I recognized what you were before he did too. Vampires have shittier senses than witches."

Mason snorted a laugh, then, pausing his search and half glancing back at me again, asked, "Did you tell him about me?"

"No. Damon can be a little... dramatic. I had no interest in him starting up a fight with my new favorite pool opponent."

Mason nodded, and thankfully, I caught a small smile on his face again.

"...You use some of that magic to cheat at pool?"

"Ha! That's also a no. I'm just a better player than you."

"Or maybe I just let you win," he said, turning to hand me a nice bottle of vodka that he'd dug out of the closet, a grin on his face.

"We can pretend that's what happened if you really want. But we both know the truth."

He sighed, then turned back around to grab the shot glasses he'd finally managed to find, shaking them to show me triumphantly.

"I guess we're just gonna have to go back to the Grill soon so you can teach me your ways."

"...It's a date."

Mason grinned and shot me a wink, then led me back through the house to the kitchen to rejoin Jenna and Elena. Elena, understandably, left when we started doing shots, and it wasn't much longer before Ric and Damon showed up. Jenna hated Damon, and after a few moments, Damon made it clear he wasn't going to be particularly friendly to Mason. I tried to ease the tension, but clearly, this barbecue wasn't going to be as fun and relaxing as the first ten minutes had been.

It didn't help that, every time I shared a moment with Mason, judgement absolutely radiated off of Damon. Lucky for me, I'd had a few years of practice ignoring those looks from him.

He'd told me today was a fact-finding mission, after all. And I was finding facts that pointed me towards liking Mason.

"I'm just saying, it doesn't take that long to set up Guitar Hero-"

"I will leave the party, Jenna," teased Mason, shooting her a smile as he plopped down on a loveseat in the living room next to me. "What else do we have? And by that, I mean literally anything else."

Jenna chucked a pillow at him, which Mason leaned into me to duck. I cackled, continuing to ignore the hell out of Damon staring at me from across the room.

"How about charades?" asked Alaric, bravely standing between Jenna and Mason even as Mason grabbed another pillow and cocked his arm back to throw it. "Or pictionary?"

"Pictionary sounds good to me!" Damon chimed in with an eagerness that made me incredibly suspicious. "I'll go get the board."

Low and behold, a few rounds later, Damon was using it to make ridiculously obvious werewolf references at Mason. The one silver lining was that Mason was as irritated with him as me, so we bonded a little as we gave him deadpan answers for things like Dances With Wolves as a pictionary clue. Jenna, the only one in the room completely out of the loop, also helped immensely by criticizing Damon's art every chance she got. I loved him, but he absolutely deserved every dig. Besides, his ego could take it.

After many rounds of various party games (although not Guitar Hero, at least not yet), we made our way to the table in the kitchen for some dessert. Elena and Caroline had left, which just left the adults. If Damon hadn't been dragging Mason into a pissing contest, it would've been the perfect party.

Alas, instead, Damon decided to continue to poke the bear, so to speak.

"Mason! Why don't you start us off," Damon said, bringing the pie to the table with a silver serving knife and setting it down directly in front of Mason. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

Mason looked at Damon, then turned the pie until the knife faced away from him before grabbing a slice with his bare hands. Damon and Ric shared a triumphant look.

"What?" said Mason, a slight edge to his tone as he stared right back at Damon. "I apologize. I'm an animal."

I shook my head, turning my attention to Jenna instead of the two of them staring each other down as she joined us at the table.

"So Mason, you and Jenna never dated?" asked Ric, apparently trying to break the tension between Mason and Damon. A valiant effort, but knowing Damon, I doubted he'd succeed.

"She was always lost in Logan Fell-land," Mason replied. Jenna huffed a laugh.

"Oh, my first mistake. Mason was a catch. He had girls lining up."

"Really?" said Damon, that fake-friendly tone in his voice that I knew meant trouble. "Huh. I always pegged you for a lone wolf."

"I'm sure I wasn't half the lady killer you were," Mason shot back without missing a beat. I snorted into my drink, completely failing to keep a smile off my face. Mason cut his eyes to me, the edge in his own smile fading for the briefest of seconds, before he looked back at Damon and raised his glass in toast. "To new friends."

He and Damon didn't take their eyes off each other once as we all clinked glasses and cheersed. When Damon kept doing his stare-down and looked ready to keep it up for the duration of pie, I kicked him under the table as hard as I could. He turned to glare at me, but their stare down was broken, and with Jenna's increasingly tipsy help we managed to turn things back into a mostly-friendly barbecue.

As the night went on, I found myself getting a new best friend in Jenna, with each joke she made and wink she shot in my direction when I sat particularly close to Mason. We moved back into the living room, sprawling on the couches with another round of beers. Jenna was much, much tipsier than I was, but I was having enough fun that I decided to lean into it more than I actually felt it. We cackled together as she told high school stories about Mason, then cheered like maniacs together when she finally pulled out Guitar Hero, against the protests of Mason and Ric.

"Alright, I'm gonna need another drink if we're really doing that," Mason sighed, a smile on his face all the same. He stood and headed into the kitchen, where I knew Damon was. I wanted to ignore it and get my literal groove on with Jenna, but I couldn't. I stood with a sigh and moved to follow him.

"Go get him girl!" Jenna called after me with a little 'whoop'! I whipped around, face burning, but she just grinned at me and winked. I shook my head, but found myself grinning back as I turned and left the room.

By the time I got to the kitchen, I could already hear Damon and Mason talking. Rather than interrupting to immediately change the topic or insert myself into the conversation, however, I decided to listen in. That way I could gauge just how hostile Damon and Mason were being to each other, and react accordingly.

"Come on, man, you don't think I know what this barbecue is about?" came Mason's voice.

"How do you know about me?" Damon, demanding, any of the fake-friendliness gone. "Your brother was completely clueless."

"It doesn't matter. I'm not your enemy, Damon."

"You tried to kill my brother." I fought back a scoff. That was a stretch, and we both knew it.

"That was a mistake."

"Really?"

"There was confusion. I couldn't chain myself up in time." Their voices had started coming closer, but I stayed put. "I have no control once I shift."

"What, no obedience school?"

"I'm serious. Let's not spark some age-old feud that doesn't apply to us."

"You expect me to believe that you're in Mystic Falls planting peace trees?"

"I lost my brother. My nephew lost his father. I'm here for my family."

And with that, I'd heard all I needed to hear. Damon, my best friend, as usual, was the aggressor. Thankfully, this time, it sounded like Mason might've made an argument that convinced him. We had bigger problems than one generally chill werewolf, after all.

I left, returning to Jenna and Ric and Guitar Hero. She smiled at me, clearly thinking I'd had a conversation with Mason I hadn't really had, and I leaned into it as she passed me a plastic guitar. Mason returned to the room a few moments later, followed by Damon. I ignored them both as I pretended to shred, and to both their credit, they cheered me on.

The rest of the party was a blast, with Mason much more relaxed after his conversation with Damon and Damon finally dropping all the stupid wolf jokes. Jenna and I acted ridiculous and had the time of our lives doing it, and whenever I wasn't shredding the imaginary guitar, Mason and I leaned against each other, laughing and talking the night away.

Finally, once I'd sobered up more and the sun had long-since gone down, and Jenna and I had finished half the songs on Guitar Hero, we wound up the party and all headed home. Damon stayed a moment longer to talk with Ric, so after giving Jenna a goodbye hug, I headed for my car without him. To my delight, Mason came with me, walking me to my car.

"You know, you're a little too good at Guitar Hero, I think," he said, bumping his shoulder into mine as we walked. I chuckled.

"And you're a little too ridiculously set against that game," I teased back. "What's the matter, you don't like fun?"

"I don't like watching Jenna butchering Black Sabbath. Watching you was... a little more fun."

I paused as we reached my car, smiling up at Mason with a glowing feeling in my chest. He smiled back at me, leaning against the front panel of my car.

"It was great getting to know you better tonight," I said, smiling at him and stalling the moment I'd actually have to leave. He grinned at me.

"You too. And I'd love to keep getting to know you better. Maybe at Volunteer Day tomorrow?"

"I was already planning on going, but it'll be much more fun with you there."

"Great." He flashed me a heart-stopping smile. "It's a date."

I was practically floating as I drove away, replaying the end of the night with Mason in my mind over and over again. The last time I'd felt anything like what I was starting to feel now... well, it hadn't ended well. I'd gotten Damon as a best friend out of it, which was a net positive no matter how much he annoyed me sometimes, but everything else had been an absolute nightmare. For the first time in three years, I found myself wanting to risk the heartache and get close to somebody in a non-friendship way again.

I'd been staying with Stefan and Damon since I got to town, and I expected a long lecture about 'flirting with the enemy' from Damon when I got home. But, blissfully, the house was empty. I wandered upstairs and fell into bed, thoughts of seeing Mason tomorrow letting me drift off with a smile on my face.

I should've known nothing in this town, in this world of supernaturals, could ever go that smoothly.

****************

The next morning, I woke up bright and early, unusually excited about Volunteer Day. A certain werewolf definitely had something to do with that, but thankfully, neither of the Salvatores was around on my way out to grill me about the grin on my face.

I'd gotten Mason's number last night, so I quickly shot off a text saying I was making a pre-volunteering coffee run and asking if he wanted anything. I took my time heading to my favorite coffee place, and the line was long enough that I waited at least ten minutes, but I didn't hear anything back from Mason.

I tried not to let it get to me as I ordered my usual, then an iced latte for Mason. Hopefully he would like it, and if he didn't, then at least it wouldn't go to waste, since I was always down for an iced latte.

I ended up arriving a little late to the event, but I wasn't complaining too much, since it meant I missed Carol Lockwood's speech. I scanned the crowd for Mason, then smiled when I noticed him under a newly-built picnic awning. Instead of smiling back, he looked away like he'd barely noticed me, continuing his conversation with Sheriff Forbes. I frowned.

I caught up to him walking away from the picnic awning, not too far into the newer part of the park that we were supposed to be fixing up today before its official opening. He walked quickly, and was apparently pretending not to notice me.

"Hey. Hey, Mason!"

He stopped and turned around with a frustrated sigh, his hands on his hips. The coffees lowered in my hands a little, and part of me suddenly wanted to run back the way I'd come from.

"What do you want?" he asked, none of the warmth or flirtiness from yesterday in his voice.

"I... brought you a coffee..." I said, holding it out to him slowly. He just stared at it. "Is something wrong?"

He huffed a humorless laugh. "That has to be a joke, right?"

"No, actually, it's not," I said, my temper flaring. "You're acting like a dick and I have no idea why, so-"

"You have no idea why?" He looked at me like he absolutely didn't believe me, and I just stared right back as I shook my head. Slowly, the anger fell from his face, to a more cautious confusion. "You don't know where your best friend, who you live with, went last night? Or what he did?"

"Oh God," I shook my head and dropped Mason's gaze, muttering to the leaves more than to him. "I knew I should've been worried when he didn't come home last night. Why can't he ever be out late for normal reasons?"

I sighed, shaking myself out of my thoughts and steeling my resolve as I looked at Mason again. The anger, at least, had gone from his face.

"I have no idea where Damon went or what he did last night," I said. "But... I feel like I should start by offering an apology on his behalf anyway? Maybe in the form of this iced latte I brought?"

Mason huffed a laugh and looked into the tree line, but I caught a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. The relief washing through my body almost took me to my knees.

"Yeah, alright," he finally said, taking a few steps closer and taking the latte from me. He looked me up and down as he sipped it, holding my gaze for a few long moments afterwards. I didn't look away once. "Damon stabbed me with a silver knife last night."

My eyes went wide, and a second later, dropped to Mason's chest to scan for any lingering sign of injury. Thankfully, he seemed to be fine.

"I thought... I thought you guys made peace last night?" I finally asked, meeting Mason's eyes again once I was satisfied he was healthy.

"I thought so too. But apparently Damon doesn't want peace. Stefan started the morning out with a little extra threat today, too, to try to keep me from getting revenge."

I sighed heavily, closing my eyes and shaking my head. I could feel a headache coming on.

"I'm so sorry, Mason," I said. "Ugh, I wish you would've told me when it happened. Or that Damon would've mentioned his stupid little plan, or Ric-"

"Why? You think the Salvatores would listen to you telling them not to come after me? You think Damon would listen to that?"

"Damon is... well, he's a lot of things. But if I talk to him, he'll back off."

Mason raised a skeptical eyebrow. "I don't understand how you're friends with him. Except maybe a dangerous level of delusion. He doesn't care about anybody but his own agenda. I've barely known him a day and I can already see that."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, debating my options. I had some very good reasons for trusting Damon as much as I did, but I wasn't totally sure I wanted to get into them, especially not with someone I'd only recently met. But that someone was starting to become important to me. I sighed, then knocked back the rest of my iced coffee. Decision made.

"Alright, listen. I don't owe you an explanation or a justification of my relationship with Damon. But... I like you. A lot. So I want you to know, so you can maybe understand."

Mason nodded, his expression thankfully more curious and open than anything else. We moved a few more feet away from the rest of the volunteer activities happening behind us to sit on a bench together, and I tried not to let our proximity and touching knees distract me.

"Okay, so, in college... I dated this guy."

"Don't tell me it was Damon."

I made a face. "Uck! Never."

"Okay, good," Mason laughed. "Sorry, I promise that'll be my one and only interruption.

"Honestly, it's probably better that we got that cleared up right away. I love him very much, but I would absolutely never date him."

"Good."

Mason held my eyes for an extra second, a little bit of that flirty behavior returning, and I felt heat rising to my cheeks. I cleared my throat and tried to refocus.

"Anyway, I dated this guy for a while. He wasn't Damon, but he was a vampire. I'm a witch, as you know, and I was raised knowing about my powers and everything else, so I knew a good amount about the supernatural world. I actually had class with him—his name was Andy—my freshman year, and we sat next to each other. I clocked him as a vampire immediately, and I don't think he was used to that.

"I wasn't sure about him at first, what with the whole vampire thing, but... we saw each other a lot. Same classes, all that. He was always nice, and funny, and when he eventually asked me out, I said yes.

"I'll skip to the important part, but basically, we dated for three years. By the time we were graduating, I'd fallen head over heels in love. I knew what he was, I knew the thought of 'together forever' brought a lot of problems we'd have to work through, including whether I could stand to stop being a witch and whether I could live with the curse of immortality. But... I knew we'd figure it out, together. I was convinced he was the love of my life."

I took a deep, shaky breath, trying to brace myself for what came next. This was only the second or third time I'd gone through it in the few years since it'd happened. Mason, to his credit, stayed quiet, letting me take my time.

"Right around graduation, when we were supposed to be doing ridiculous Senior Week activities and getting rid of the last of our assignments, taking pictures and getting ready to walk... all the supernatural drama and danger you can imagine came crashing down on our heads. Brought to our doorstep by Andy."

I shook my head, angry at myself as much as at Andy as the memories replayed, as vivid as the day they'd happened.

"He'd gotten involved in some ridiculous scheme with some other vampires, trying to prove some lore was real or something, and they needed a powerful witch. Without asking, Andy had volunteered me. When I didn't want to help, he threatened me, and left me to the wolves—no pun intended, sorry—left me to the vampires when they tried to force me to help. Damon stepped in and stopped them.

"Don't get me wrong, I know it was a completely selfish move," I said, finally looking at Mason again. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he moved a little closer, stopping just short of putting us shoulder to shoulder. "He wanted to stop the plan and the ritual and the spell, it had nothing to do with helping me. But once Andy and everyone around us was dead... I just fell apart. Damon, for all he acts the bad guy, didn't ditch me. I've asked him a couple times and he always brushes it off like it was nothing, but... he saved me in more ways than one that night. Since then, we've had each others' backs. It's kind of a weird friendship, but he's put his own life on the line to protect me more than once since then. I've done the same. I trust him completely, for the things where it really counts."

Mason sighed through his nose, looking away from me finally to stare at the ground. I watched him, watched his eyes dart around as he thought, until he met my eyes again.

"I get it. The people that pick you up and carry you through stuff like that... it's a special kind of bond. If you have that with Damon... I get it." We held eye contact for a few more moments, a wordless heaviness passing between us, and then Mason grinned. "So, what you're saying is I count as the important stuff for you?"

I bit my lip and looked away, fighting a smile and quickly losing to it.

"I... yeah, I guess I am saying that."

Mason and I laughed and worked together for a while longer on our various cleanup duties, until he told me he needed to go do trash duty in the woods, since the Sheriff had asked him to. I gave him my empty latte cup as a start, watching him with a smile as he walked away.

I tried to busy myself with volunteer work, the thing I'd actually come here for today, to keep my mind from running wild about Mason. I only half-succeeded. I hadn't felt anything close to this for somebody since Andy, and it scared me and thrilled me at the same time. The needle pinged back and forth between the two, but when Mason came back out of the woods looking rumpled, guilty, and glancing over his shoulder, it jumped all the way to scared.

"Mason?" I called, hurrying over to him. He shook his head, trying to duck past me again, but when I put a hand on his arm he stopped. "What happened?"

"Y/N..."

"Mason, what happened?" I pulled my attention from him, quickly scanning the gathered volunteers and then doing it again. Damon and Stefan were nowhere to be found. "What happened?"

Mason met my eyes and hesitated. Then, finally, "They tried to kill me. In the woods. They surrounded me, and Damon told me he'd give me a running head start before they ripped my heart out of my chest."

Immediately, my eyes darted to the woods behind Mason, scanning for my best friend. Ready to stop him. Until Mason continued.

"They're not coming back."

My eyes snapped to his again. "Explain."

"I told the Sheriff what they were. She's taking care of it."

I sprang back from Mason like touching him had burned me. He winced, but didn't do anything else.

"Are you kidding me? After everything I told you, everything we talked about?"

"I didn't have a whole lot of choice, between them and death. Besides, I told the Sheriff before I talked to you."

"Mason, you should have told to me! I would've talked to them, I would've made sure they didn't go after you if I knew it was such a pressing thing! We could've figured out the issue with the Sheriff together! What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry. But it was kill or be killed-"

"This! This is why I hate this supernatural shit!" My voice had risen to a yell, but I didn't care. We were far enough away from everyone that they probably still couldn't hear me. And what did it matter, anyway? The Council already knew. "This is why nobody ever finds any lasting peace or happiness in this stupid, ridiculous world. Everyone is so fixated on revenge and killing anyone they feel even remotely threatened by. If you'd come to me, I could've kept you safe. Instead, you might've just gotten my best friend killed."

My voice broke on the last word, and I pushed past Mason and started for the woods before he could catch me crying. Unfortunately, he caught my arm before I could get away and turned me to face him, immediately dropping his grip when I tried to pull away.

"I am sorry. I really am. But I didn't know they would follow me into the woods. And they were ready to kill me. When I saw the Sheriff's people over Stefan's shoulder, it seemed like my only way out. I'm sorry."

I took a deep breath, giving him a curt nod before turning again and taking off into the woods, hoping against hope I could get to Damon and Stefan before it was too late. Things had gotten so out of hand, so fast. All I could do was focus on putting out one fire at a time, and hope we all came out of this alive.

I started at the Lockwood cellar, but found it empty. The floor had fresh blood on it, though, and with a little magic I traced Damon and Stefan back to the Salvatore Boarding House. That felt like a good sign.

I pulled into the driveway and sprang out of my car, slamming the door to the house open. I could see Caroline passed out on the couch, which didn't entirely make me feel better as I sprinted up to Damon's room.

I slammed the door open without bothering to knock, only to come face to face with my best friend, unharmed, shirtless, and staring at me like I was insane.

"Don't you ever knock?" he demanded, sounding exasperated as he pulled his shirt over his head. A hysterical laugh bubbled out of me, and I rushed over to hug him.

"You're one to talk," I shot back, wrapping him tighter in my embrace as I did. After a second, his arms came around me too and squeezed back.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I shook my head.

"I thought... I thought you might be dead."

"Well, I'm not." Slowly, gently, he pulled away. He grabbed my arms, looking intently into my eyes for a few long moments. "I'm not. Alright?"

I nodded, the adrenaline fading and leaving exhaustion in its place. I plopped down on his bed as he moved to shut the door.

"Can't have you getting me all sappy in public and ruining my reputation," he explained. I huffed a laugh, but quickly sobered as he sat next to me. I watched him, neither of us speaking for a minute, until he raised an eyebrow. "So... was that it, or...?"

"You can't go after Mason anymore."

"What?" he cried, shooting up and glaring at me. "What the hell are you talking about? He tried to kill me today. The Sheriff is in our basement right now while we wait for the vervain to work through her system because he exposed us. That mutt is dead."

"No. Damon, no," I said, standing too as I spoke. A strange calm had washed over me, and I met Damon's wild eyes with it. "Not Mason."

"Oh, gross. Really? Him?" He raised his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes at me. "Besides being a werewolf, he's a surfer. Are you serious?"

"Damon, come on. Just let it go. Just this once, end the cycle of revenge. You stabbed him, Stefan threatened him, he exposed you to the Sheriff, you tried to kill him, he tried to kill you. You're even, sort of. Just let this one go."

"How about, instead... I kill him?" The inappropriate brightness in his tone usually just made me roll my eyes or sigh while still sort of endearing him to me, but not this time.

"No! Damon, I'm not joking! This isn't some stupid thing where you can just turn around and break promises and it's fine! I never draw a line in the sand, but I am this time! I haven't felt anything close to this, not once, since Andy. And I am not going through anything like that again! You were right the first time. I'm glad you killed Andy, you saved me doing it. But I don't ever want to live through that again. This time is different, he's different. And I know I haven't technically known him very long, but just... please. Not Mason."

Damon held my stare for a few long, long moments, assessing. I stared right back, leaving every single thing I felt clear as day on my face, an open book for him to read. Finally, he sighed and rolled his eyes, in that exaggerated way he did whenever he gave in.

"Fine. I promise I won't kill Mason."

"Or try to kill Mason?"

"Yes, alright? If you're that convinced he's different... then fine. This one's different."

I flung myself forward and wrapped my arms tight around his middle before he could stop me. He grunted and grumbled, but hugged me back after a second anyway.

"Thanks, Day."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just get out of here and get some sleep before someone catches me hugging you, alright?"

I pulled back with a grin. "Deal. Softie."

Damon narrowed his eyes at me, but I just cackled and bounced out of the room. It had been a long, stressful day, but things were looking up. Tomorrow, I'd talk to Mason. And this time would be different.

I passed out in bed as soon as my head hit the pillow. Today had been a long, emotional day, and I still had a few supernaturals to talk to tomorrow, since Stefan needed to be looped in too. I'd need all the rest I could get.

I got up the next morning a little later than I'd planned to, then dressed quickly to head over to the Lockwood's. I was helping set up for the upcoming masquerade ball, and I needed to talk to Mason. After getting coffee, of course.

As I headed down the stairs, I heard voices from the living room. I listened more closely as I approached, and I heard Damon say something like "this changes things" before they stopped at my arrival. I found Damon and Jeremy both looking at me like I'd interrupted something.

"Good morning..." I said, slowly reaching to retrieve my keys as I stared at them both suspiciously.

"Good morning," said Damon, flashing me a smile that didn't reach his eyes as Jeremy gave me a little nod.

"Everything okay in here...?"

"Completely."

I narrowed my eyes, glancing from Damon to Jeremy, then finally sighed.

"Alright, I have places to be and not enough willpower to involve myself in whatever this is. Just... don't do anything over the top stupid, alright?"

Both boys just gave little signs of acknowledgement as I slowly backed towards the door. I kept waiting for one of them to break, or for some obvious thing to jump out and catch my attention, but nothing came. I reached the door and finally turned my back on both of them, just hoping I wouldn't regret it.

I never got a moment of peace in Mystic Falls. Witch history and best friend or not, I might need to ditch this place sooner rather than later. Damon could come visit me somewhere with less supernatural drama.

This time, I only got one iced latte at the coffee shop before heading to the Lockwood's. As soon as I parked my car, I started scanning for Stefan, so I could talk to him and get him on the same page as Damon. The last thing I needed was the calmer Salvatore brother ruining the progress I'd made.

Thankfully, it didn't take me long to find him, or to convince him to leave Mason alone. He'd apparently only gotten on the same page as Damon about killing Mason after Mason had made a few threats of his own, and he said if I believed peace was still an option (especially one that I could sell Damon on), then he'd be happy to support me.

That left me with one last supernatural to work things out with. I had to do a few laps of the venue to find Mason, even though it was sort of his house. I finally managed to track him down outside, by a big pond a little distance away from the rest of everyone. He gave me a small smile when he saw me coming.

"What? No coffee for me today?"

"Coffee is only for people who haven't tried to kill my friends in the last twenty-four hours." The smile immediately dropped off Mason's face, his whole demeanor sobering.

"Look, Y/N-"

"Lucky for you, that timer expires tomorrow," I continued. "So... if we get roped into a third volunteer thing in three days, you can count on coffee for that."

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth again, this time a little more cautious.

"Does that mean we're okay?"

I took a deep breath, then nodded.

"As I'm sure you've noticed, Damon and Stefan are alive. I've talked to both of them. They both agreed to drop it. The three of you have done a bunch of mutual threatening and murder-attempting in the past forty-eight hours, and Damon understands that this is one of those important things he can't just brush off. They're willing to make peace, and actually mean it, from now on. For me. Can you do the same?"

Mason frowned and looked away, his eyes scanning the grass, pond, trees, and everything else while he thought. He shook his head, presumably to himself, then finally met my eyes again. He squared his shoulders, and through all of the emotions I'd experienced from him since I'd met him, he'd never been this serious.

"Yeah. Yeah, I can do the same. I don't want to get killed by a vampire, or get mixed up in trying so hard to kill one, let alone two. If they back off, for real... I'm happy to do the same."

I smiled, not as bright and full of joy as the first few times Mason and I had spent time together, but just a little ray of hope shining through after the storm I'd just weathered.

"Thank you."

He nodded, then that easy smile that had gotten a special place in my heart so quickly returned.

"So... this masquerade stuff, there's a ton of people here to help with it. Do you want to go for a walk instead?"

"I'd love that."

We took our time doing a full lap around the pond at turtle-speed, laughing and talking the entire time. We eventually did rejoin the rest of the workforce, but I didn't mind it as much as I thought I would. We sorted masks and hung decorations together, which made it better. Mason even gave me a better introduction to his nephew, Tyler, who I'd only vaguely known before.

"Hey, pay attention," teased Mason, nudging me with his shoulder as we stood together, untangling a frankly ridiculous amount of lights with Tyler's help.

"I can't," I whined. "I'm falling asleep at the wheel. One coffee isn't even close to enough caffeine to wake me up."

"I could go on a coffee run," he suggested. I turned to him with wide eyes and an exaggerated gasp.

"You would be my hero forever."

He laughed. "Alright, alright, I'm on it. I'll take any excuse to get away from these lights. Ty, you want anything?"

"Sure. Black coffee."

"Alright. I'll be back in a few."

I smiled after him as he jogged up the lawn, only looking away when he finally disappeared from sight. As I turned back to the lights, I found Tyler staring at me with a raised eyebrow. I cleared my throat.

"You really like him, don't you?"

I sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, I really do."

Tyler nodded, first to me then to himself, as he returned to working on the lights. I watched him for a minute, then continued.

"I know we don't actually know each other that well, so this might be over the line, but... I can tell he really cares about you. He talks about you a lot. I think he'd walk through fire for you. And I think he'd want you to know that."

Tyler glanced up at me, jaw tight, but he nodded all the same. He muttered a "thanks", and then we went back to our work, mostly in silence except for long strings of expletives for this Gordian Knot of a light string.

The glowing happiness in my chest kept me going without the coffee for a while, until I started to notice just how long it had been since Mason left. Tyler had moved on due to frustration with the lights, and now stood across the lawn, but Mason was nowhere to be found. Even if the line had been out the door, he should've been back by now.

I scanned the crowd again, looking for a few specific people and only finding one of them. Stefan was still here, but Damon and Jeremy were conspicuously missing. I started walking to Stefan, picking up the pace when I noticed Bonnie missing too.

"Stefan," I said, my heartbeat pounding in my ears as I tried to keep my panic under control. "Where is Damon?"

"Listen, you have to stay calm, alright-?"

"No, not alright! Where is Damon? Or, actually, no. Where is Mason?"

"He's dating Katherine. Bonnie touched him, and she had a vision about him. He's got the moonstone, and he's with her. He's been lying to all of us. Things have changed since this morning."

"Things have- fuck. That's exactly what Damon was saying to Jeremy this morning," I shook my head, mentally kicking myself for not putting the pieces together faster. "Where are they, Stefan?"

"Did you not hear me? He's working with the enemy-"

"Stefan Salvatore. I will ask you one more time, and then it'll be my turn to cross some fucking lines. Where. Are. They."

Stefan watched me for a moment, considering. Then, finally, he said, "They're at the boarding house."

I barely waited for him to finish his answer before I took off running. My lungs burned as I raced through the people swarming around Lockwood Manor, towards where I'd left my car. Apparently, Damon had decided that Bonnie's vision of Mason and Katherine, whatever else it meant, gave him a pass to change the rules. To break the promise he made to me last night. Which meant, if I didn't move fast enough, I might never see Mason again.

I flung myself into the driver's seat of my car, then took off for the Salvatore Boarding House. I barely managed to stay on the right side of 'safe driver', and made it there in record time. I screeched to a stop in front of the house, and as soon as I stepped out of my car, I heard Mason scream from inside. My heart dropped to my feet as I raced forward, flung the door open, and rushed inside.

I could see Damon hovering over someone, presumably Mason, in a chair with it's back to me. Jeremy hovered off to the side, looking horrified but refusing to do something or leave. I shoved past Jeremy roughly, flinging out my arms and using a burst of magic to send Damon flying into the nearest wall and away from Mason.

"What is WRONG with you?" I cried, raging at Damon, feeling an anger like I'd never felt towards my best friend before. "Did everything we talked about mean nothing to you? I know you have some crazy need to do everything the violent way, and I've never let it get to me before, but you've also never backstabbed me before! How could you do this to me?"

"You don't understand-"

"I understand perfectly."

With one last shove of my magic at Damon, I whirled around to look at Mason. He was bound to a chair from the dining room, covered in his own blood, a hopeless, broken look in his eyes. I tried not to break with him as I dropped to my knees and started working to untie him.

"It's okay, it's okay," I said, talking to keep myself calm as much as to keep Mason calm. "Don't worry, I got you."

Mason didn't respond, and I spared a glance up at him to see him watching me, his face contorted in pain. I did my best to speed up, but it was harder to work the ropes and chains with how badly my hands were shaking.

"He's in love with Katherine," came Damon's voice from behind me. There was no fight or victory in his words, and I still trusted him enough to leave my back to him, even as I ignored him. "He told me himself before you came in. He doesn't love you, he loves her. Like every other poor sucker she's brainwashed and ditched over the years."

I huffed a breath through my nose as I finally managed to remove the last of Mason's restraints, then stood to face Damon. He was still a good distance away, not threatening, just watching. Posture relaxed, face pressed into a concerned frown. Jeremy stood over his shoulder, watching us like a tennis match.

"Is that supposed to make me willing to let you torture and kill him?"

Damon shrugged, an insufferable look that I knew very, very well crossing his face.

"This isn't a joke, Damon. Just because you get some new information doesn't mean everything we talked about last night ceases to be important. You should have talked to me. Like a rational person! Not done... this," my voice broke a little on the final word as I pictured Mason again, those empty eyes that had been so full of light and joy before. "Tell me something. If I hadn't shown up... were you going to kill him?"

Damon looked away, and I had my answer. I snorted, then turned to help Mason stand, slinging one of his arms over my shoulder. He was incredibly heavy, and he wasn't strong enough to be much help either, but I could manage.

"I would've been doing him a favor," Damon finally said, calling after me as I helped Mason limp towards the door. "I've been where he is. I know what it's like to be lost in Katherine land. There's no hope for him."

I just raised my middle finger back at him as we continued to the door. I didn't look back as the front door shut behind me and I loaded Mason into the passenger seat of my car, then climbed into the driver's seat. I started the engine, but just kept staring straight ahead, a thousand different thoughts and noises racing around in my mind all at once. I tried to focus on one, to process things slowly, but I couldn't. So, I forced all of it out, instead keeping my eyes locked on the road ahead and pretending nothing else existed. I could do that, just long enough to get out of here.

Mason didn't speak, move, or make a sound for the entire drive back to the Lockwood house. It wasn't the safest place for him, but I didn't know where else to take him. I stayed silent, too, focusing entirely on trying to fight the wave of everything threatening to crash over me in the middle of evening traffic.

Thankfully, when we got back to the Lockwood house, all the volunteers had gone. I helped Mason out of the car, then continued to be his crutch as we limped through the front door. He broke his silence long enough to point me towards his room, and I helped him up the stairs and through the door. As gently as possible, I helped him ease down on the bed. His super-healing would fix the physical injuries fairly quickly all things considered, but Damon had spent the afternoon torturing him. That wasn't as easy to get past.

"Are you okay?" I finally asked. I knew it was a stupid question, especially with everything else floating around in my head, but I needed to know what he'd say. To gauge how close he might be to okay.

Mason sighed and ran a hand through his hair, refusing to meet my eyes.

"I'm fine. Or at least... I guess I will be."

I nodded. "I'm glad." And I meant it.

Mason huffed another heavy, heavy sigh, then finally looked up at me.

"Thank you. For saving me."

"Yeah, of course. I... I'm sorry I was wrong. That Damon went right back to... that."

Mason waved me off, rubbing the back of his neck and staring holes in the carpet. The silence hung between us, and I took a shuffling step backwards before deciding I couldn't leave without a few answers, even if Mason clearly felt like shit.

"Is it true?" I asked, still hovering by the doorway. Mason flinched, and I knew he knew what I meant, but I continued anyway. "What Damon and Stefan said... are you with Katherine?"

Mason grimaced and ducked his head, not meeting my eyes. I took a few more steps across the room towards him.

"Mason. Please answer me."

He huffed a hollow laugh, then looked up at me, pain written all over his face.

"I'm sorry."

I shook my head. This time, it was my turn for the hollow laugh.

"I'm so, so sorry. I was trying to help her. I... I love her. Or at least, I did... I thought she loved me too..."

"Katherine doesn't love anybody," I spat, my voice full of venom. "I watched Damon wrestle with that realization for a few years. Did she ever tell you? She played him and Stefan against each other, dated and toyed with them both in 1864. Escaped from being trapped with twenty-six other vampires and never looked back, all while she let Damon chase after her, knowing full well he was trying to find a way to save her from a trap she wasn't in. For almost a hundred and fifty years. She's ditched and killed and betrayed everyone she's ever been with, Mason. Think about that long and hard before you really decide to stick with her."

With that, I turned on my heel, the first tears starting to fall as I wrenched the door open. It slammed closed again before I could get through it, and I turned to find Mason standing before me, one arm extended to keep the door shut. He looked torn and pained, even more so when he noticed the tears I failed to hold back.

"I need you to know... it was real. I wasn't... faking it, or whatever, all those times we hung out. I... really do like you." I scoffed, but he continued before I could tell him off. "It's just... Kath was there for me after I triggered my curse. My friend kept coming at me, trying to beat me up because he thought I was sleeping with his girlfriend, which I wasn't. I pushed him too hard, and he fell, and... and he died. I killed him. That same night was the first night I transformed. Kath was there for me then, and for every minute after. She's... my Damon."

"Ha!" I shouted, shoving Mason's chest and pushing him back with all the force I could muster. He stumbled back more than a few steps, apparently still weak from whatever Damon had done. "Don't you ever, ever compare them. Damon sucks, and does bad things that hurt the people he cares about. Don't think I don't know that. But the difference is, he actually has people he cares about.

"And before you go running back to Katherine, after I saved your life, you should really think Mason: Katherine wants the moonstone. You got her the moonstone. If she knew you could get it for her, then what might she have done to make you want to get it for her?"

Mason shook his head, slowly at first and then faster and faster.

"No. No, she can't compel me. I know she can't."

"Sure. But I bet she could compel your friend. I mean, did you ever figure out why he thought you'd gone after his girlfriend? Or why he wouldn't listen to you or to reason, just came at you until you were forced to defend yourself? The best way to make you do her dirty work for her was to give you a vested interest in getting the moonstone. What better way than a ray of hope to try to break your new curse?"

Mason sat down hard on his bed, head in his hands and shaking. I opened the door again, never taking my eyes off of Mason, my heart shattering in my chest.

"Think long and hard about the truth and who you can actually trust, Mason. Following Katherine will only lead you down a road of pain and death."

With that, I turned on my heel and walked out of the room. This time, nobody stopped me. And I didn't look back.

I got in my car and drove, no destination in mind, trying to process. I'd been falling for Mason, hard, and he'd betrayed me. Damon, who I'd always been able to count on, had done the same. Everything had come crumbling down in less than an hour.

I didn't go back home, to the Salvatore house, until sunrise the next morning. I'd stayed out all night, wandering aimlessly with my car, driving around and slowly working through everything. And when I walked through the doors of the boarding house again, I'd found a new clarity.

"Hey." Damon stood in the hallway, arms crossed and looking concerned. I gave him a weak smile.

"Hey."

"...Everything okay?"

"No. No it's not. You crossed a line, Damon, and even if you never crossed it again... the supernatural drama just doesn't stop. So I'm done with it."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm leaving. I'm leaving Mystic Falls, and everything that comes with vampires and werewolves and even witches, before it destroys me. It's not worth it. I booked a flight to San Diego on my phone a few hours ago."

Damon tried to convince me to stay, but I wasn't hearing it. I'd made up my mind, and now, I wasn't changing it. He hovered as I packed my bags, my anger still simmering but fading now that I'd spent time processing. By a little after noon, I was ready to go.

"Are you sure I can't convince you to stay?" Damon finally asked as I stood on the threshold of the house, my bags already loaded into the car.

"I'm sure. I meant what I said, Day, I'm done with this stuff. But I'll make you a deal."

"...And what kind of deal would that be?"

"Don't kill Mason, and you're welcome to visit me any time."

Damon scowled. "All that, and you're still protecting him?"

I shrugged. "I'm over it, all the death. And I think Mason might be having a wakeup call of his own now. Just... please, Damon. Consider this a second chance. Don't kill Mason. Or torture him, or hurt him. No matter what you learn, or how the circumstances change. He's off limits."

Damon just looked at me for a long, long moment before finally nodding, slowly.

"Fine. And if he asks where you went?"

"You can tell him. I don't think he's gonna chase me all the way to San Diego, especially not if he's still hung up on Katherine like you said he is. And like I said... feel free to come visit. Or call whenever."

Damon nodded once, lips pursed in a tight line. I gave him a smile and a little salute before turning and climbing into my car. I took one last breath to steel myself, then turned the key and left Mystic Falls in the dust behind me.

****************

Two and a Half Months Later

I smiled from the porch of my new house (really closer to a shack) on the beach as I sipped my morning coffee. Watching the waves crash over the shore in the early morning light had become my routine, and I swear my blood pressure had dropped beyond belief as a result.

I hadn't had any supernatural visitors yet, but I knew it'd only be a matter of time. Despite everything, I hoped it would be Damon. There were a lot of things I didn't miss about living in the same sphere as him every day, but it had been nice to be so close to my best friend, even if he was a jackass a lot of the time.

Once the sun was a little higher in the sky and my mug was empty, I went back into the kitchen. The house had a thousand projects, and I'd only just started on the first one or two. I'd been doing those mostly by myself too, with little magical help, and it was nice. I could feel a little bit more of myself in this place with every change I made.

I set my mug in the sink and started to grab eggs out of the fridge when I heard a knock on the door. I wandered over to open it, then stopped dead when I saw who was on the other side.

Mason Lockwood. Iced latte in hand and a sheepish grin on his face.

"Hey," he said, holding out the coffee as a sort of offering. "I, uh... I hope it's okay that I'm here. Damon told me where you'd moved to, and I figured he'd never tell me if it wasn't alright with you. Even then. Honestly, I half expected to open this door and find an axe murderer or a random old man."

Despite myself, I snorted a laugh, and a small smile tugged its way onto my face. I reached out and took the coffee.

"It's good to see you," I said, and meant it. "I'm glad you're okay. Honestly, I think Damon probably sent you here as proof that he didn't kill you. I told him that was a condition of him being invited into my house."

This time, a small smile made its way onto Mason's face. We just looked at each other for a few minutes, hopeful smiles and an electric energy snaking between us, until I finally cleared my throat and took a half-step to the side.

"Do you... want to come in?"

Mason smiled, somehow still looking slightly pained.

"I... can't." I raised an eyebrow, and he rushed to continue. "I'd love to, for the record. It's just... I might've dragged Tyler out of Mystic Falls with me. And he might be waiting in the car."

For the first time, I glanced over Mason's shoulder to see Tyler sitting in the front seat of Mason's Bronco, arms crossed as he pointedly didn't look at us. I laughed.

"That's why it took me so long to get here," Mason continued. "You were right about Katherine. About everything, really. When I ditched her... she compelled a friend of Tyler's to get him to trigger the curse. Like she did to me."

My eyes widened in horror, and I took a step forward to rest my hand on Mason's arm before glancing over his shoulder again.

"Oh my God. Is he okay?"

Mason shrugged. "As okay as he can be. We're figuring it out. But I needed to stay to make sure he was okay, and that Katherine and the other supernaturals didn't get him killed. A lot went down after you left, but... we made it. So did Damon and Stefan. But we needed to get out, so I convinced Carol to let me take Ty for a little while."

I nodded. "I'm glad you did. Do you guys have a place to stay?"

"Yeah. I actually got a place down the beach from here," he said, blushing a little as he glanced away and rubbed at the back of his neck. "We just got into town, and I might've dragged Tyler here first without warning."

I laughed, then stepped fully out of my house, shutting the door behind me. Mason smiled, and my heart raced at our newfound proximity. I decided to let that impulse win and leaned up to give him a soft kiss on the cheek.

Mason looked shocked as I pulled away, then grinned a wolfish grin (pun intended) as he swept me into his arms and kissed me, for real. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, hard, completely indulging for a few long seconds before pulling back.

"Tyler's in the car," I said. I was a little breathless and smiling like an idiot, an expression Mason shared.

"He's fine, I left the window cracked."

My laugh was muffled as Mason leaned in and kissed me again, but this time I pulled away fairly quickly.

"I love that you're making vague dog jokes now, but I really don't want him to have to just sit there while we make out on my porch. Let me help you guys get settled in your new place, and then maybe we can go on a real date tonight?"

Mason beamed at me, pulling me close to his side and resting his forehead against mine.

"Sounds like a plan."

He gave me one last peck on the lips, then took my hand and tugged me down the stairs after him. I laughed, feeling freer and lighter than I had in a long time, as I opened the back door of his car and Mason hopped back in the driver's seat.

"Hey Tyler," I chirped. "It's nice to see you again."

"Yeah. Hi."

I caught Mason's eye in the rear view mirror, fighting and almost failing to hold back a laugh. His blue eyes sparkled like the ocean on a beautiful, clear day, and somehow I just knew we were at the start of something special and wonderful. Call it a witch's intuition, but I felt good about what the future held for me and Mason in San Diego.

****************

TVD Taglist: @elenavampire21

[talisidekick]

Thanks for being so compassionate! As someone who's had to defend himself from assault pre transition and assault and attempted trafficking during transition which has contributed to some agoraphobia centered on thoughts like "damn, wasn't safe off T not safe on it", it's been rlly scary seeing ppl shrug off how transmascs are endangered in real life in service of discrediting transandro discourse. Cool seeing who's really real I guess????? anyways hope you're well and warm. Srry about my run on sentence lmao

There is absolutely nothing to apologize for. We only get to see one side publically, and that's pretty much just trans women issues. Media likes to cover just us. I rarely see news stories about just trans men. We don't see the stories about trans men getting stalked or followed around in stores by total strangers, getting attacked in public, rarely a mention if a trans man gets killed. It's happening but you don't see it. You don't see a flood of forum posts about the constant dismissal of, unique brand of hatred around, or the types of dangers faced by trans men.

My introduction to questioning my gender was actually FROM transandrophobia. The reason for this is I've had more of a curvy figure since ... well forever, even though my body was producing T on it's own. I got A LOT of compliments on it by pretty much all my friends (which were mostly girls, and yes that probably should have been a sign but I'm a bit thick sometimes, okay?) because I was "unconventionally sexy" because of it. I'm now remembering I do have a shirtless picture somewhere from before I was on HRT ... I'll work up the nerve to show that at some point to prove that point. Anywho, because of this, a random ass stranger had been following me as I went to grab a few things from a walmart after my shift. It was weird as fuck. Uncomfortably close, constantly looking at me but not what they were pretending to, and I kind of knew this dick was waiting until there was no one in the aisle before pulling something. I'd been mugged before at 14 and 15 so at 24 I was kind of like "I'm not getting stabbed in a damn Walmart" and just made sure to be quick. I got out of the store and met up with some old work friends and just let them know someone was following me and I wanted to wait them out. Props to my friends at the time, they bullseyed the dude (to be fair he wasn't being stealthy) and called him out. And he yelled back "You'll never be a real man" to me. My friends laughed at him because as far as we all knew, I was cis. But this would happen two more times in the same week. A lady would tell me I shouldn't be doing "this" to myself with a full body gesture, and that god "loves" me; and a college colleague flat out dismissed my concerns on something because "only a real man would need to worry about that". It got me wondering if this was a new fad, to hate on someones manliness, and upon looking that up I learned about what exactly transgender meant, the experiences of trans men and women (just a bit on women, my concern was on trans men at the time), and thought it was kind of cool there were people who'd know two sides to the gender spectrum. But it must SUCK to have to go through the bullshit I did and actually be affected by it. Like, no one has any right to tell another man they're less of one.

This whole situation would actually come back to help me 2 years later in finding myself. I'd only really looked up trans men and curiosity mid covid lock down would lead me to look up non-binary and then trans women. However, transandrophobia is how I, a trans woman, got her start. So it boils my blood when I see people talk about T being toxic or trans men having it easier. It shows a complete lack of understanding and a lack of acceptance and willingness to empathize. Trans men and trans mascs have different issues, that doesn't make them lesser, and while those issues may not affect me, it doesn't make it less of my problem to help deal with where I can. I know certain issues I'll have no experience on, no idea how to help, but that doesn't mean I can't still offer to be support. Everyone should be doing the same, and shame on those who aren't.

You deserve equal treatment and support in your fight for it, not dismissal. Those that dismiss the issues of trans men aren't allies, they're transphobes. And fuck transphobes.

[seraphicsage]

can you do headcannons of blitz and a reader who has c-ptsd? like him accidentally triggering them, and then the reader tells him (or not) about what happened, then him trying his best to comfort whenever another trigger happens or sees them in distress? or smth like that (i have c-ptsd and it’s been a rough week lmao)

a/n Hey lovely! hope that this is good!! sorry you've had a tough week babes, and I hope that this makes it feel a little better!! I used my experience with c-ptsd and how easy it is to get triggered and spiral from the slightest change in other peoples behaviours so I hope it resonates with you... or I hope it doesn't because it's not nice... you know what i mean...

He doesn't even have a fucking client to kill for and he's still at work. I've asked Loona and she said that they haven't had a new client all week. Jesus if he didn't want to spend time with me he should have just said so, I can take it! But why doesn't he? He normally seems to like it. Did I do something? Okay calm down. There's no reason to panic right?! Let's just... make him some lunch and take it in for him and I'm sure he'll explain everything then and it'll be fine!

I desperately try to keep telling myself it'll be fine as I walk into IMP with 2 packed lunches in hand. I drop one of them off on Loona's desk where she's on her phone and she looks up and gives me a small smile, thanking me before she looks back at her phone. Okay so nothing weird there, Loona would know if something was wrong so everything must be fine right?

I lightly tap on the door with a warning and let myself in, trying to smile brightly and walk to the desk. He doesn't even glance up at me. "H-hey Blitzø, I brought lunch!" I say with as much enthusiasm as I can muster, which isn't much. He makes a slight grunting noise in acknowledgement and doesn't stop working.

Oh god. I've messed it all up. I don't know what I did but I must have done something. I feel tears filling my eyes as I stand over his desk. Shit. I quickly rush out of the room, shutting the door gently behind me and avoiding making eye contact with Loona as I sniff and wipe my eyes. I feel Loona look at me but I practically run out of the room and the building, heading straight home.

By the time I get there I can barely breathe and I'm heaving in the smallest amounts in the hopes of getting something in. My eyes search the room and I find the smallest corner that I could fit myself into a rush towards it, squeezing myself in and bringing my knees up to bury myself into them.

Now the tears are streaming down my face faster than I can breathe and I want to die and I can't breathe and why can't I fucking breathe? I've started to feel light headed and I don't know how long I've been sat here for but I know that I'm taking up too much space and I need to shrink. My arms tighten around my knees and I pull myself into an impossibly smaller ball and fucking hell it isn't enough. I barely know where I am. Am I 5 years old hiding in my room after being shouted at? Am I 9 years old crying because everyone in my house keeps ignoring me and why does no one ever want me around? Am I 21 with my boyfriend telling me just how stupid and pathetic I am? Am I 23 with my next boyfriend telling me that I'm making shit up just to make myself the victim? I don't know. I can't tell anymore. It's like every moment of my life is happening at once and at the same time my mind is empty and numb and hollow.

Somewhere in the distance I hear a door open but I can't register it over the fog of my mind and the ringing in my ears. Hands touch me and I flinch, pulling away hard. It must just be another part of my mind. But then, I don't know when anyone's touch has felt so gentle. I can hear them talking. Some part of me feels safe at the sound of their voice, and while my head is screaming at me to run and hide, I try to focus on their voice, on what they're saying. To focus on where they're touching me.

The tears slow and I can breathe again and I realise where I am. And more specifically who is holding me so sweetly. I feel his tail wrapped tight around one of my legs, and his arms holding me against his chest. When did he start holding me like this? I didn't even feel him move me around.

“Shh shh it’s okay, it’s just me.” I hear him whisper among a series of sweet sentiments as he tries to reassure me. I look up at him, barely registering how awful I must look, and meet his eyes. He looks so scared, but at the same time I’ve never seen him this soft. “Here there, you’re back!” His voice has turned nervous now as he looks away and scratches the back of his head.

“I- um-” I sniff, "Oh god Blitz you must think I'm so fucking pathetic I'm so fucking sorry." The fear starts to set in again, knowing how this goes every single time. Why was he even here? But now he just looks confused.

"Sorry?! Why are you sorry?? I mean I don't really fucking understand what's going on but I don't think you're pathetic babe. Know who's pathetic? Moxxie. And you are no Moxxie." He looks both serious and distracted at the same time, clearly thinking about Mox for a moment before bringing his attention back to me. “W-what is going on?” He stumbles on his words as he asks and even though it terrifies me to bare my soul to him, I can see the concern on his face and I can’t keep it in.

Next thing I know I’m talking way more than I had planned. Spilling my entire life to him. And he listens. Somehow he doesn’t even interrupt, and Blitzø is the king of interrupting. But he stays quiet, and I can see that he’s absorbing every word.

He holds me for the rest of the night, reassuring me that he’s not going anywhere, apologising for brushing me off and explaining he was trying to come up with an idea for advertisement of the business. I feel exhausted after my breakdown but I force my eyes to stay open as long as possible until I fall asleep, comfortably surrounded by his entire body.

[slashthrashandcrash]

Okay, I had to go see what JedMEg was for myself and now I'm hooked. Can you talk more about them? Like does Meg ever find out the truth and how she reacts, for example?

I had to go digging for the last ask (here) about them just to remember where I left off in my insane ramblings lmao

So my original idea for this AU was that there is no fog, meaning once the Jed Olsen cover is purposely blown as per the lore, then it's totally game over, there's no Entity to whisk Danny away from the fall out. But that's part of the problem, isn't it? He's gone and gotten himself a little too attached to what was supposed to be a fake girlfriend, a girlfriend who's in love with a man that doesn't exist rather than the actor playing him.

Normally when he would snag himself a partner to accompany whatever persona he was putting on, Danny would kill them just before he skipped down. That satisfying moment of betrayal in their eyes, the soul crushing realization that everything was a facade, a convenience, that he never even liked them enough to give them a quick death no matter how many sweet "I love you"s he told them prior. As well as just another "fuck you" to the cops and community for how close under their noses he had been all along.

But he can't do that with Meg. He has no idea why, it was never this difficult before, but he's also never felt this way about any partner in general either. Fucking hell, he's really gone and gotten a crush on a pretty little redhead, huh? It doesn't matter, Jed Olsen was never someone who was meant to be around long term, and it's about high time he moves on since eyes are starting to shift towards him a bit. As much as it weirdly twists his heart to abandon Meg and leave her behind with the awful truth of who he really is to come out to the public afterwards, he knows it's for the best. Well...best for himself, anyways. And maybe for her, too, so that she's not entirely caught up in the shitstorm (of course, being the very public girlfriend of the now most wanted suspect in an ongoing murder case isn't going to be an easy ride...)

And Meg is beyond horrified to say the least. She still can't comprehend the entirety of the betrayal, that not only would her boyfriend leave her without a word, but that he would leave her because he was the very same murderer who had been harassing her for weeks! The one he was closely reporting on, the one whose ass Meg would try to kick every time he broke into her home, the one who used to threaten her "boyfriend" when they were in fact the same person. Everything she ever knew about him was a lie while she unfairly shared her whole heart to him. Not only that, but it's near impossible for her to try and imagine sweet, dorky, shy Jed being anything remotely close to a coldhearted killer. He couldn't even open a sauce jar half the time!! And you're telling her he can easily overpower multiple victims and haul their bodies around for sick poses???

Now Jed (?) is still out there, still on the loose, and Meg has no idea what to do. Reporters are hounding her for a statement. Police want to wring her dry for any clues or information that might help. People stare and spread rumors about just how "involved" she might have been from the start. And what if he decides to come back in the end, to tie up the loose end he left behind for whatever reason, is she even safe here anymore? Well, not for long, because that stupid ache in Danny's chest still hasn't subsided...it almost feels like it's gotten worse. It's not remorse or guilt, it's longing. He wants his bunny back, he liked how she felt sleeping in his bed and holding his hand and smiling so perfectly for a candid shot when she wasn't looking.

The dirty laundry has already been aired. They could start fresh, in theory. Whether she wanted to or not.

Although again, this was only the original idea I had when I first started making brainrot. There are so so so many new paths I've ended up concocting for them...if Meg found out Jed was a killer right before he left by catching him in the act or fitting in too many pieces herself...if Meg refused to believe Jed was the killer and was instead framed by Ghostface who she now has to hunt down for answers about Jed's real whereabouts...if they got taken into the fog shortly after that anyways per canon with Meg either not knowing or not believing that Jed is Danny/Ghostface while he keeps up the ruse to avoid her truly hating him (plus the outcome for when Meg does find out the truth while they're stuck in this hellhole)...if they were taken into the fog while he was still Jed and then him having to painfully confess why he was put into the killer camp and having to live with the heartbreak he's trapped her with...

[toycarousel]

Hiiiiiii! I don't know how to title this, so I'm just going to get into it. I know I've talked about going through University and how that's kept me from doing any voice work for the past couple years (and that's true, but I mean... I've been in University for a long time now, and I wanted to get into the reasons for that).

I've mentioned this before on this account, but I've been struggling with borderline personality disorder (BPD), social phobia, PTSD, constant nightmares, and related hard drug and alcohol addictions since around 2014. Sometimes things got better, oftentimes they got worse. I quit cocaine in 2016 and crystal meth in early-mid 2017, but never quite kicked alcohol (the worst one imo, because it's dangerous to quit it cold turkey -- that one can kill you).

So I'm writing this from a detox centre right now, pumped full of valium and clonidine so I don't die from liquor withdrawal seizures or sudden cardiac death.

Everyone here complains about it (and the food does totally suck lmao), but the centre is actually pretty great! At least compared to the first one I went to in Alberta back in 2016, and I'm only here for a week. Detox is different from rehab -- it's basically a short term medical thing where they have nurses and doctors on staff to make sure alcohol withdrawals don't kill you. I've had several related seizures in the past, and every time you have one of those, your risk of having another rises, so I'm at high risk and they're monitoring me carefully.

So yeah, that's why I haven't been around much. Going through a lot. I'll get more into the reasons for it all sometime, as well as the follow-up steps I'll be taking for mental health and addiction maintenance.

Also, during my more stable/good days, I will be getting back into voice acting. It's one of my favourite art forms and it means a lot to me! I miss that part of myself and getting to share it with people!

***EDIT: Oh, yeah, and in the meantime, I've been spending more time on my personal blog manicpixiedreamtwink.

(There isn't any voice work over there, it's kind of just a personal update/aesthetic/meme/poetry/art inspiration sort of place! I try not to romanticize anything dire in terms of mental health, but I do discuss my own experiences with BPD, OCD, trauma, etc., so fair warnings for that!)

[pbaz7]

after the hell i've experienced today this chapter better be happy and have toe curling smut

For weeks after their argument, Paige kept her word. She stayed true to her role as Azzi’s best friend and was there anytime the younger girl needed her

wait Paige isn't going insane? ok maturity

They didn’t flirt, they didn’t touch in ways that meant anything more than friendship. It was as though they were back to where they started, but it was painfully different.

ouch ouch ouch im aching and not in the way I want to be

“That’s bullshit. I refuse to believe there was a point when you and Azzi didn’t like each other.”

lowkey forgot about hem hating each other honestly

“Like, how’d you go from ‘can’t stand each other’ to…” she gestured vaguely, “this?”

nobody really knows

“It’s just… a little hard to be around each other sometimes now.”

LMAO PAIGE PLEASE

Ice groaned, throwing her head back dramatically. “Ew, dude. You’re disgusting.”

ice if you were dating Paige or azzi you'd be doing the exact same thing

“Damn P, you really love her, huh?” Paige didn’t even flinch. She met Ice’s gaze, a soft but unwavering certainty in her eyes. “Yeah, I do.”

oh ok im gonna go kms now

“You played like shit last game.”

okay damn jeez

Before they began, Azzi paused and looked at Paige. “I miss you,” she said softly, her voice carrying the weight of everything left unsaid between them.

girl ur making this so much harder for all parties

it felt like they were back in sync—no words needed, just the game and each other.

painful ouch ouch ouch

“Somebody named Elle,” she said, her tone a little too neutral.

the only Elle i've ever known was a raging bitch who switched schools after kissing her friend's boyfriend so I don't have good vibes

“It isn’t fine because I don’t want anybody else. I only want you, Paige. I’ve told you that, and I mean it.”

y'all can't be saying that shit and pretending to be besties

When they reached the car, Paige yanked open the passenger door, motioning for Azzi to get in.

just thinking about how now they're just best friends and the last time we heard of this car they were definitely not just best friends

Goodnight, Az.” “Goodnight, P,”

az and p being heir canon nicknames irl makes me so happy

I almost threw up in your car yesterday when Steve Lacy came on

LMAO SHE WAS GETTING FLASHBACKS

“I want us to date, Paige,”

BOOM SHAKALAKA YES GOD I PRAYED FOR THIS AND MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERS THANK GOD THANK YOU AUTHOR I JUST FELL TO MY KNEES

“So... you want to be my girlfriend now?”

jumping straight into it I see

And we’re not going to have sex for a while, or we’re going to at least try really hard not to.

her immediately switching up knowing she won't be able to wait im dead

She wanted to believe Azzi, wanted to dive into this with her, but it was hard to shake that lingering fear of being hurt again.

sure just twist the knife!

but... she already kind of knew. I mean, she’s not blind.

pazzi deniers kill me bc im like are you blind

but Paige quickly vetoed the idea, claiming she’d been waiting for months to make this happen.

poor Paige has had the date planned since the day she met az

so Paige made a habit of giving them away, handing stuffed animals and trinkets to random kids.

im crying. that's my people's person

“Nah, I know who you are. You gotta scoot back,” he said with a grin.

LMAO HE KNOWS P IS GONNA BEAT HIS RIGGED ASS GAME

Paige leaned casually against the wall, her grin turning a bit smug. “You know I picked the fair on purpose, right?”

she's so cutesy and perfect and I just wanna pinch her cheeks

“I miss your eyes,”

AZZI WITH HER OBSESSION WITH PAIGES BLUE EYES AGAIN

“I’m not letting you kiss me.” Paige’s toothy grin grew, her confidence shining through. “That’s fine.”

UGHHHHH

“See you later, princess!”

telling myself I can wait and I can be patient

oh author where do i begin

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for not making me want to sob

ly!

-🍉

i told you guys i would fix it !!! im so glad i was able to help with your turmoil 😭

i’m actually in such a simp-y mood this next chapter is going to be off the rails. i’m changing a few things i had lined up because i can’t do anymore pain right now lol

love you and your reactions like always 🫶🏼🍉