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danwhobrowses · 10 months ago

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So I Finally Finished a Playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3

It's been months of playing over my holidays and the weekends, but I've finally completed my first playthrough of what was deemed Game of the Year for 2023.

As someone whose only D&D experiences come from the two movies (the bad one that traumatized me as a kid by killing Snails and the good one that deserves more love) and Critical Role, I didn't know much of what I was getting into, only my coworkers saying 'buy it, it's a masterpiece' unanimously when I inquired about it. Having no idea how to play or the lore, I was very much entering blind.

Continued down the Keep Reading

So, I'm sure we gotta get through the first set of questions so let's get to them.

What was your Tav? It took a long time to realise that 'Tav' meant your player character among fanpages, I can't tell you why it's Tav still, but I only pieced it together from Durge naming too. My Tav is Dec, short for December because that's when I started playing and I couldn't waste too much time on stream thinking up a clever name. He was a High Elf Guild Artisan, for Class I started as a Beast Master Ranger, ironic that Ranger is deemed one of the lesser classes among the community, I was adamant to not use archery at the start but by the end of it I was a Crossbow Expert. I went 9/3 with Rogue to get Assassin, but then respec'd my Ranger into a Gloomstalker, since I never really summoned the bear (probably should've learned from Sam's constant dissing of Trinket eh?) plus when I remembered Dread Ambusher it gave me 3 attacks on the first turn. He has combustible blood thanks to Araj and some tadpole powers after consuming them after the creche incident made him more open to trusting the Dream Visitor; Charm - which failed 90% of the time - Psionic Backlash, Favourable Beginnings and Luck of the Far Realms used mainly, I had Stage Fright and Force Tunnel but didn't use it, same for Cull the Weak. Likes to talk things through, especially with Persuasion/Charisma buffing invisible hats. Has the Duellist's Perogative Sword and the Swire's Sledboard Shield for Melee, and the AC bonus, plus the Armor of Agility giving him an evasive 24 AC with Advantage thanks to 20 DEX and the Cloak of Displacement.

You can't see his scar and tattoo too well from here but I had to show off his Black Furnace and Red dye on his armour it looks too good. Here's a better look of his face:

For his tattoo and scarring I like to think he got the tattoo after the burn, in some ways distracting it from the scarring.

Did you Save Scum? Don't Lie to Me! Yes and I'm not sorry about it. If you wanna invite me to a D&D table I'll follow the rules and how the dice lands but there's a lot more wiggle room there than in a game where there's finite dialogue options. I was also not going to sit there and let my companions turn against me just because the game fancied throwing continual Nat 1s or low rolls at me, nor would I let Omeluum die in the Iron Throne, or end up leaving the Mirror of Loss empty handed. I bought the game so if I wanna carve this experience this way I shall carve it this way, I get some people see the Morally Good path as boring for this kind of gaming but I like to be good, it feels good, and I want good things to happen for my allies, even if it means having to undo most of their religious indoctrination. But, it did take a while for me to start save scumming, really it was freeing Halsin that started it but it didn't become regular until Auntie Ethel. I only really did it for dialogue/lore expansion (or when there were two dialogue options I was between which I hoped would be interpreted how I expect it to) and for necessary buff rolls like the Mirror of Loss, but sometimes I did it to keep some key NPCs alive like Jaheira, who died at Moonrise the first time.

Who did you usually team up with? Kinda a harem squad since I had Lae'zel, Shadowheart and Karlach. I was very combat-oriented; Lae'zel adding support to Karlach's melee or Dec's ranged combat while Shadowheart made up for most of the magic with heals, summons and like 100 scrolls in her bag (Dec horded about 100 different arrows and poisons too, sometimes pays off). I respec'd her to Light Domain after the Nightsong stuff to fit her character and hair change - though I must admit I preferred the black hair - and gave her my Adamantine Splint Armour for defences plus the ring and Balduran's Helm for +5 healing each turn. Lae'zel was a Battle Master, clad in the Helldusk set, though I didn't use much of her Superiority dice moves; the enemies often made saves against it even with 18 strength (20 after the mirror of loss, and higher at endgame thanks to an Elixir of Cloud Giant Strength), I relied more on her brute force, plus reaction skills like Executioner and Sentinel, plus the Silver Sword of the Astral Plane. Karlach was a 9/3 Bear Heart Barbarian and Champion Fighter, I did respec her for the Feats but the Bone armour, Balduran's Greatsword and Brutal Jump also helped at times, plus the Gauntlets of Hill Giant Strength and the Amulet of Greater Health made her a high damage, near-200 Health-on-Rage machine (over 200 thanks to the +30 extra health at the final battle). I tended not to swap around a lot, I couldn't abandon my healer, loved Karlach's personality and I had sentiment for Lae'zel being the first person I encountered, she has the sad eyes too, but I did do some rare switching for personal quests. Initially I started with Astarion, but that's because of a misunderstanding of who Karlach was - more on that later - and it turned out that I wasn't doing much for stealth, I brought him for Cazador though, much like I brought Wyll for Ansur and Gale for the Book of Karsus. Later in Act 3 I played around with dyes and equipped everyone, out of fear that I may be sprung unprepared like with Orin - Halsin only had a torch - by all campmates joining the fight, it didn't happen but everyone at least looks stylish.

I go between whether I like Wyll's colours though, on one hand he looks like a Templar and the white would stand out in Avernus, other times he looks like a cosplayer XD Minsc and Jaheira needed no dyes the colours already suited well, but I do love the colours I chose for Astarion, Halsin and Karlach.

Who did you fuck? (romance) Probably would've been asked sooner but sadly Dec became an unintended bachelor, at least outside of the headcanon. He did share a night of passion with Lae'zel after freeing the Emerald Grove but it wasn't something he wanted to pursue further, our dynamic was more befitting of two soldiers, or at least a dynamic where we think we're the General and the other the Advisor. Had Shadowheart took 'later' for her drink offer as 'I want to see all the dialogues other characters have first' rather than a refusal there might have been a romance there, instead I feel we fell into a more sibling bond, she can be a bit too sassy at times in passing dialogue - I had hoped to see more development with her and Lae'zel eventually being friends. Wyll did his best to throw sad puppy eyes at me when I refused to dance with him but it just made things more awkward, Gale meanwhile probably was gonna make moves when teaching me the Weave but he was very hung up on Mystra for me to entertain it, I sat with him when he felt the mortal coil though. Astarion I think made a passing suggestion but nothing of substance, Halsin left it late after he got kidnapped by Orin - I didn't realise he had to physically join the party to be a part of the group until Act 3 - coming onto me right before I confronted the Brain which was quickly turned down. I believe Minsc and Jaheira are unable to be romanced atm, and I did not fuck the Emperor; it weirded me out that he just was there shirtless chilling next to my unconscious dream state. We killed Minthara, didn't know you could recruit or romance her in a Morally Good path. Which left Karlach, fuck did I want to romance Karlach, not for lack of trying either; but because when I met Wyll he was talking about killing her I immediately assumed 'oh Karlach must be that woman on the cover with him' (aka 'the bitch who could've been cool if she wasn't such a bitch' Mizora, who I also wouldn't have romanced given the option) and stuck a pin in it, I was also unaware that most Act 1 romance stuff would come to a head at the end of the Emerald Grove quest which I prioritized so I only encountered Karlach after I saved Halsin and the Grove, meaning I couldn't reach Dammon until Act 2. By then Karlach seemed to be locked out of romance, perhaps for another misunderstanding on my part too since I did upgrade her engine twice at Lost Light very swiftly, but it still was a knife to the heart after all that and the date at the circus that she called us 'just mates' to Fytz. All this and then they give us a better kissing patch ¬_¬

Yes so sad, anyway what about ~Astarion~? Astarion is popular, and I know why he's popular, and the scene of him killing Cazador was very well done...but Astarion for me though was just fine; I mean you guys see Karlach right? Part of the reason she stays my group was that I can't bear to part from her. A lot of the times my Morally Good options didn't align with Astarion's brand of pessimistic chaos, so he spent a lot of time in camp as I mispronounced his name until I heard it be properly said, which probably hampered his story a bit more, but we had a close enough friendship that he heeded my advice with the Ascension and the spawn, wish he reacted to me getting a painting of him since he can't see his reflection though, felt like something could've been done there. Jaheira was a fun personality too, angry old lady who says it like it is, kinda wish we had more to her quest, seeing her home and her interacting with her wards/children was interesting, Minsc was charming too in his simple way, would've been cool if he had more of a presence as well, like we could hear about Minsc and the Stone Lord in separate lights earlier in the game to build up to him. On that topic, I was surprised to find that there wasn't a companion for each role, I suppose there were constraints but Aylin and Zevlor both worked as Paladins, Alfira a Bard (though I don't think anyone would dare put her in the line of fire), I suppose there's little need for a Sorcerer when you had a Wizard or a Monk when you had a Fighter and Barbarian but it was strange, you get 2 Druids and your Ranger is built more like a Fighter or Barbarian (the latter I added to Minsc). I'd later learn that there was cut content for a halfling companion who was a werewolf, but I can see why that one was cut, with Chetney and all, but yeah not any halflings, Barcus could've been a companion even without the Artificer class, or a Dragonborn.

So how did your story go? Being the Morally Good Guy I was I went through most of the best options I could, but I also tried to avoid combat earlier on when I was struggling to work with it. I was friendly with the Goblin Camp for starters, since they thought I was with the Absolute and Dec is willing to put shit on his face to avoid conflict, it all went tits up after freeing Halsin and having to kill everyone but it may've had some benefit to how I could walk freely through Moonrise. Ironically it was the same with the Githyanki, friendly up until they wanted me to hand over the prism, though the Creche was a lost cause anyway, they're lucky I didn't ransack the place, could've gotten a lot of xp and loot there. I let Viconia live, so she can dwell on that burn Shadowheart gave her but oftentimes I was not so merciful, do wish I didn't kill that one Sharran with the letter of hating being there though, why'd you fight me girl? Same with the Bhaalist with the parents at Elfsong, and the goblin children, I was using nonlethal but arrows don't count as I'd soon learn. Allies were mostly good-to-neutral creatures like the Tieflings (though I wish I saved more, nobody told me about the harpies and I thought convincing Rolan to stay would mean the Grove not the Shadow Cursed Lands - also why send refugees who struggle with goblins through the SHADOW CURSED LANDS?) and 90% of the Ironhand Gnomes because fuck Wulbren - I didn't like Barcus too much at first, thought him rude, but when Wulbren didn't even show gratitude for his attempts I softened to him. Kindness made me quite the enemy to others however; the infernal naturally did not appreciate my deeds of pact breaking but saving the Duke anyway and pilfering the House of Hope, but to be fair Raphael (and his clear portrait of himself I clocked onto immediately when he was in his human guise to know he was untrustworthy) never repaid me in-game for 'killing' Yurgir, and Mizora would've squirmed a lot more in her Ilithid pod had it been a table interaction - though, the latter two were more than willing to help me with the Absolute, 'cept Raphael because he's dead - but in my defence I loved outwitting and being a sassy little shit to demons. Slaying the Chosen was a given, as a very Pro-Karlach guy I was never letting Gortash live, got the Father/Grandfather-Daughter set with Bhaal too. Killing the former Balduran was disappointing; as much as he was on my side he always felt like he had his own ulterior motives, he also had a superiority complex to him with his constant urging of being half-Ilithid; thinks it's not important that he's Balduran either, dismissing Ansur's legend until confronted by Ansur's spirit. Stealing the Orphic Hammer was an insurance policy at first, I could understand Voss' disdain for us using Githyanki Jesus in a box like a forcefield, but it's a shame that the guy who was all about trust decided not to trust me in releasing Orpheus; we could've stopped the brain together! Omeluum would've heard me out. I mean Orpheus was a bit salty but he at least was willing to negotiate and not immediately side back with the brain like a petty bitch. I'd say the gods have mixed feelings with me; friendly with Selune and Lathander at least, and whatever Withers is - though the guy roasted me about my love life. The rest either neutral or anti; Shar and Vlaakith (if you can call her a god) definitely hate me, because they're sore losers, think Myrkul and Bhaal likely hate me, Bane however seemed to respect game not sure how I feel about that. I don't quite like Mystra, think she's a bit extreme with her treatment of Gale, but I understand her role, valid god but shitty person. On the other hand I probably have Cyric's favour for helping the Strange Ox, which might be bad...but Milil was happy to be recognized.

In the end, most of the allies got to live somewhat happily; Gale got the orb out of him and became a professor, Lae'zel - having dealt the final blow to the brain - leads the charge against Vlaakith after Orpheus became a Mind Flayer and was mercy killed, Shadowheart has her family (Shar would've always been with her regardless of her choice), a bunch of pets and can maybe reminisce with Nocturne again one day, Jaheira and Minsc - once he survives Zhentharim execution, didn't realise I needed to have him talk to Nine Fingers - also can rest with her wards and probably share drinks with Nine Fingers until the next fight, Astarion sadly has no cure for vampirism but he is owning it and killing the right people (I like to think he'll get to see the sun again, maybe Omeluum and the Mycolids help), plus Halsin has a bunch of kids in Moonrise to look after, plus Thaniel, Oliver and a new Owlbear who I'd rather had left with Dammon given the option. Isobel and Aylin can settle down, Rolan runs the Sundries, Hope is free, Alfira and Lakrissa got their bard's school, Florrick and Ravengard resume leadership to rebuild, Dammon has his forge, Scratch found a new home in this Mindy (but I remain best master), Mol I'm sure will be running the Guildhall in a few years, Thrumbo has a shelter for his brothers, Mayrina will raise her son without the threat of a hag, Vanra won't become a hag (but does need therapy), and Arabella will probably be the next Withers after reading some more rocks. Yenna didn't seem to have an ending so I'll assume that she found a loving home too, maybe with Halsin or as one of Jaheira's wards, or maybe Gale wants a Sous Chef since she did bring her own carving knife if you didn't know. I wish Alfira got invited to the epilogue, god of song is fine but not the familiar face and it would've been cool for them to meet, nice to get a letter at least, and we'll have to visit Art's grave sometime. Surprised we got no word about Mizora, I didn't get a letter from Geraldus even though he survived, Naaber apparently had more in him after wanting to be a dog, sad not to get anything from Rolan, Devella (I know Valeria mentioned her but c'mon), the Gondians, Mol, Omeluum, or Aylin and Isobel from the epilogue, did we really need the ramblings of Ettvard? Plus the papers must've glitched they said Stelmane's killer was still at large? Post-credits scene felt a bit weak mind you, but guessing Withers is that old God of Death Jerghal? Least he's not a surprise villain to fight. As for me, well, I was never one to give up on people and neither is Dec, and thus Dec and Karlach brave Avernus to seek a fix for her infernal engine, punch a few demons and whatnot, Wyll is there too as the Blade of Avernus, a role he embraced twice after barely contributing to killing Ansur but that's more proximity. We'll chill in the House of Hope especially after her letter, but soon enough we'll all return to Faerun on a more permanent basis.

So you enjoyed it? Yes, very much. I did of course make a lot of mistakes though; kept forgetting about Dread Ambusher for one, my earlier failures at romance still stung, I think the game wasn't as welcoming to those unfamiliar to it. The dice did not like me many times, I once got a Nat 1 in a 2 DC with +2 bonus, I also have had several instances of back-to-back Nat 1s, even had 6 in two different streams. Combat was an adjustment period, I missed a lot of the time which was frustrating, or the enemy would make saving throws on my gambits, Karlach even got pushed into the abyss at the Temple of Bhaal, I was livid. I think I probably would've experienced more if the game established better that you can long rest as much as you like without turning into a Mind Flayer, because much of Act 1 was me reluctant to Long Rest because they say you can change 'within 2-3 days', as a result that affected some romance options too, nobody to spend the night with if there's no night, as well as other in-camp interactions - Astarion never tried to bite me for instance, and I'm sure Raphael would've arrived to reward me for killing Yurgir had we not dealt with a backlog of interactions. I remained quite the hesitant player too, I ignored Gale stuck in a portal for a while fearing some magical backlash was gonna vaporize me, oftentimes I expected worse than what actually happened. Graphically there were a few characters whose cheeks were being pulled to the far left side of the map which was weird, and some battles would have enemies who would just do nothing for their turns, and some areas didn't render quick enough to not be noticed, but it was small stuff in comparison, I didn't do much for camp clothes or dyes until late on but probably for the better since style should be for the final act. I also keep seeing stuff that I somehow missed in my playthrough; like there's an angry squirrel near the grove? A frog in Ethel's house? A bird who wanted help with the giant eagles? What? Where?

What was the most difficult part? Act 3 had a lot of tough shit going down, though one of my most memorable struggles was against Auntie Ethel in Act 1. Already deep in her domain at lv4 it was a rough run to start with, continually hit by Hold Person by her projections, only when I learned they were one-hits did it become a little easier, but without Extra Attack it was still difficult. After that combat was here and there, sometimes it was just the environment like being jammed in a pipe when fighting Minsc; Lorroakan was annoying, Grym I had to be tactical with the hammer, the Assassin at the Facemaker was quite difficult too because he'd Haste himself and hide. The Death Shepherds in the Mountain Pass were surprisingly difficult without the Blood of Lathander, much easier with its Sunbeam. The companion quest final battles of Cazador, Ansur and Viconia were each difficult in their own way; the former was most annoying because my party would be downed but the thrown healing potions weren't working (plus those downed members were the ones with Radiant damage and holy water), wasn't even Bone Chilled like with Viconia, Ansur was difficult because of his burst attack. Raphael hits fucking hard, but once I realised that Hope kept dying because she was getting backlash from dealing Radiant Damage it was just attrition and lots of potion throwing. Combat-wise I think the toughest battle was Cazador due to the glitch of thrown potions not healing, otherwise the toughest boss was Ansur. Overall the most difficult experience I found was the timed operations of the Iron Throne.

Will you play again? Most likely, which is something I don't tend to say so Larian did do their job well. Though I might wait a bit to play other games first and give Larian time to add more content and finer polishing, I think I'd have a better time with it the second time around, would definitely try to resolve previous wrongs or missed opportunities, though I doubt I'd look forward to everything there; killing the Goblin Camp was still difficult work, same with the Steel Watch and all the turn limit stuff, I'll at least wait until I have Extra Attack before dealing with Ethel in Act 1 and take more Long Rests, maybe rotate the party a bit more and try out some other classes - but you will pry Speak with Animals out of my cold dead hands! Learning later about there being a bunch of cut content would entice me to play a third time if they reach a stage where all the intended content has been added in, but there's not exactly a time frame for that or a clear show of intent so far, so we'll see in that one, for all that is cut it seems like the end product is the tip of the iceberg. Enjoyed the play, played for a long time, would play again: money well spent.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #larian studios #karlach #shadowheart #lae'zel #astarion #jaheira #minsc and boo #minsc #halsin #wyll ravengard #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 tav #bg3 withers #it wouldn't have killed larian to give us more dice skins too just sayin'#but I loved that they added little messages in the credits

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avakitsune · 1 month ago

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Vulnerability posting time, cause he's asleep and I need to talk about my feeeeeeelings again.

Last night, I broke down. Told him some very deep, vulnerable shit after getting worked up into a frenzy and hitting a bit of an adrenaline high. He didn't run, didn't bail on the rest of the trip, and didn't show a lick of disgust or annoyance. He listened. He told me I didn't do anything to deserve what I went through. He was kind. It just made more shit tumble out of my mouth. He still didn't change. He didn't become a judgemental asshole. He didn't ask me, "Why don't you just" questions.

I'm not used to his kindness. I don't think I deserve it. I don't even know why he wants to give me his time or attention. I don't know why he's so generous with me.

I want to know. Maybe he'll tell me. But I don't want to pry. That's the kind of person I am. I'll drive myself mad trying to read little signs, facial expressions, and body language, just trying to feel a person out. All because I'm afraid that they'll know how much skin I really have in the game. Or maybe they don't trust me. Which is fair. I have the awful gift of being able to talk about my emotions with a level of honesty and rawness that only comes from 20 years of therapy, a dissociative disorder, and having the heart of a Disney Princess.

I'm dopey. I miss social cues, and sometimes i dont understand sarcasm. I'm too smart for my own good. I'm naive, but I'm jaded. I'm a mess of conflict and contradiction, and all I ever think about is how fucking nice it would be if everything and everyone—especially me—would just calm the fuck down for a second because nothing is that big of a deal.

I lose my mind and can barely contain myself when I see beluga whales swimming in their tank. I'm too picky to buy a souvenir because I want something that I have a gut reaction to; it's not enough to have something just because. I have to want it. I'm sentimental, and I cry about everything. I'm afraid of animatronics, of heights, of traffic, and of open water. When I see a stranger in pain, I can't walk away. I care what people think of me. Worst of all, I care what I think of me.

He exudes a strength that I envy. I want to be close to him because I want to learn more about him. He's not callous or walled off; he's right there, and I can feel him there. He's compassionate, in a quiet way. When he needs to take charge, he does, and he does it efficiently, with no beating around the bush. His warm stoicism intimidates me. I have no idea how to emulate it.

But most of all, he's honest. He makes a genuine effort to connect. He's communicative, and he thanks me for communicating back, even when I say things that step outside of typical banter for a dynamic like the one we've begun to foster. He's so much more gentle with me than I anticipated, but in the ways that I need gentility. He gives me physical pain, but he makes sure that if I'm crying, he knows why.

I've never met anyone like this man before. I'm scared I'm not good enough. I'm scared that I can't give him what he needs in every area. I am afraid of getting my heart shattered yet again. It's also a risk I'm more than willing to take. I'm also scared that I'll hurt him. I don't want to do that. The idea that I might makes me want to curl up in a ball and hide.

I have 2 more days with him. And it's not enough. I don't want him to go. It's not enough time.

#maybe its aveline #vulnerability posting 🖤#also really embarrassed because i know he'll read this. but i want him to know every bit.

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kurczeno · 3 months ago

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ok so a little rant about DA:V, because I feel like it needs to be said. First a disclaimer: if you are hyped, thats good for you, really. Enjoying the final product is absolutely fine. However, I've seen SO MANY people, especially here on tumblr, but also on tiktok and reddit acting as if any criticism of the game is just people being mean haters or homophobic.

And don't get me wrong - there are probably people taking things too far, just for the sake of it. There are also people mad about the wokeness - though as a person that is very interested in the topic, I've seen only one? discussion about this matter and it wasn't even made by people that like the series, they just wanted to complain about wokeness in games, etc.. But I'm not saying these people don't exist, because I haven't seen them.

However I am seeing so many valid criticism of the game being discredited for no reason and I feel like there is at least one thing that needs to be said.

I played Origins over 20 times. DA2 and DA:I - also more than once, but I didn't count it. I loved all of them - even the Inquisition, despite its many flaws. But it's not a post about them - the thing is, I am a fan of a series. I've been since I was little and later I got that stupid hyperfixation. I was extremely excited about the game, despite SO MANY red flags - I'd say it's still Dragon Age and I'm sure it won't be that bad.

But at this point even I can't cope that hard.

First of all - it's barely Dragon Age at this point. I just want you to remmeber that most of the staff that was working on the first three games got fired or resigned themselves. The LEAD WRITER himself, David Gaider (he's incredible btw, go follow him on twitter and play stray gods!!!) has been trashing Bioware on TT for years and he's been there for 12 years. He tried to highlight just how badly the company treats its workers - and it's not only Bioware, it's gamedev in general. I have many friends that work in gamedev and whenever we talk about situations like this their reaction is "yeah, but thats what happens in gamedev every half a year". You know, it's so bad, we just treat it as a standard. Why am I bringing all this up? Because I think that countering every argument with "you haven't played the game yet" or, even worse "people are only complaining because woke" is just buying into their narrative, taking the responsibility from them. When the truth is that every single teaser looks, to say the least, outdated. The graphics are very, very bad, the designs are mid at best (I'd single out Neve and technically? Emmerich, but he looks horrible because of the graphics, so...), the reps show that they know little about Dragon Age (I'm in love with that one recording in which they collectively barely remember Zevran. The companion in the most beloved game. The guy that is basically the only source of info we get about the Crows. The Crows that are a fraction in their game???), they have already stated that your choices don't matter. I can elaborate on each of these, but the post is already to long and my point is different - don't excuse Bioware. And I'm sorry, but "play the game first" shouldn't be the argument here, because the things that should be good, regardless of the game itself fail - I'm sorry, but this isn't an indie game. It's made by a huge company, with loads of money after two commercial flops. I know some of you (including me!) are nostalgic towards Bioware, because of their games and what they meant back in the day, really. But at the end of the day, the games were made by people and Bioware is just a company. A big corporation, that just wants to make money, has a long history of mistreating their employees and has delivered the worst teasers I've seen in a long time.

TLDR: I'm not trying to tell you, you are wrong to be excited. I'm just kindly asking you to stop coming to Bioware's defense at all costs, because they don't deserve it.

(also I know David himself has reacted to the teasers and reviewed them in a positive way but I am talking mostly about the things that I blame on higherups. However I personally think that Gaider, as someone who's worked in the industry knows that there are many people there that ARE actually passionate about the product. Not the reps, please, they are embarassing, but the animators, writers, etc. And trashing their work as a lead writer of the first games would be a little too much, even if the final thing is not their fault. They don't need any more shit)

#dragon age veilguard #dragon age origins #dragon age 2 #dragon age inquisition #i wonder if anyone will read all that XDDDD #also i got shadowbanned on my main so here we are #posting from my old account I used as a FUCKING 12 YEAR OLD XDDD

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unitedbydevils · 1 year ago

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Match review: Tottenham Hotspur 2-0 Manchester United

Another game, another struggle, only this time we got the defeat we deserved.

Last time we played, we beat Spurs 2-0 in a performance that was one of the most controlled I've seen from a United team in years. It was clinical, efficient, and assured. Yesterday we saw quite the opposite.

United started brightly and were fair for the first 30 minutes, but as the first half wore on the tactical discipline - or perhaps just comprehension of Ten Hag's tactics - fell away.

Garnacho played like a youth prospect; without discipline or focus.

Antony was incredibly wasteful and drifted inwards so often it forced Bruno to move out wide right.

Casemiro and Martinez seem off the pace still.

Rashford does not want to be CF, for all he says he's happy to do it. He does not have the discipline or know-how.

Mason Mount - what he do?

The second half saw Postecoglou's Spurs sharper, and United fall away. The midfield battle was a whitewash, which put the defence on the back foot and left the forwards unable to have any impact.

Subs of Sancho, Eriksen and Dalot helped matters a little, and late additions of Martial and Pellistri didn't get much chance to impact, but all in all it felt like the end of the road for Erik Ten Hag's current strategy with this first XI.

Midfield cannot control a game at present. Amrabat, or even McTominay, might bring some balance to proceedings. The problem is Mount; he's an ideal rotation with Bruno, or a 10 if Bruno's an 8. We know the captain CAN play as an 8, so why is ETH not pushing that matter?

Beyond that, a lack of a CF is criminal. Greenwood shouldn't return but United also have an injured Højlund who's yet to make his debut (and is 20) and an Anthony Martial who is seemingly fit? but also as reliable as a Tory MP. Rashford is being asked to lead the line as a wing forward who likes to stretch a defence. Two different styles.

We face Arsenal soon but Nottingham Forest are next. Rashford left, Sancho right, Martial no9. Lets see how that works for us. Similarly, fucking buy Amrabat already. He's cheap. We're just bad at sales. Van de Beek's sale is dragging. Bailly is still here despite his fee being £0 for prospective buyers. Williams and McTominay might go. These are all tasks for the pre-season, not post-kick off. We should have the funds from these sales to bring in Amrabat and maybe Pavard. It's frustrating that we're still seeing shortages in the team.

I know, I know, Mount was £60m, you get Amrabat and Pavard for his fee. It's true. I still think he has a lot to offer though and needs time to bed in, to understand. He tries hard, has good technical skill, and I think will perform better than Antony's first season. Pressure is far higher at United than Chelsea though, especially after a tough year with injury, Chelsea's managerial merry-go-round... it's hard to settle mentally.

We're only two games in. This isn't disaster territory. It isn't as bad as last year either. Both our opponents had new manager bounce too. We just have to fix up quickly and click, because Arsenal and Brighton are in better shape than Spurs and will do a number on us. Maybe the old baptism of fire might galvanise the squad, but I don't back these lads under the cosh too much. Plucky game vs Barca? Sure. Underdog vibes, shit's exciting. League vs Brighton, who constantly trouble us? We'll panic or get frustrated and sulk our way out of a gameplan and into a 3-0 panning.

#manchester united #man u #man united #man utd #manchester reds #erik ten hag #marcus rashford #casemiro #lissandro martinez #antony dos santos #jadon sancho #tottenham hotspur #spurs #mason mount #bruno fernandes

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dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth · 7 months ago

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Life is genuinely shit right now... I haven't felt this depressed in nearly a year, possibly longer...

All my friends are unavailable to hang out in person, and I have seen 1 friend in person in the last 6 months for 1 singular hangout of just a few hours. I'm isolated and alone, and I can't even go out to do fun things because it all costs money to go places, and I have absolutely no money whatsoever.

I would love to go to Pride, but today was the festival and I couldn't go because, again, no money for gas or tickets or food or anything.

All my friends are planning these HUGE summer vacations like cruises and worldwide trips and shit, and I'm forcibly stuck here in my room at my house doing not a goddamn thing going nowhere, because I have no money and no friends available and even if I did I wouldn't want to be a financial burden on them.

And what's worst of all is that I haven't spoken to any of them really about any of my problems, or how I've been doing, or what I'm going through, because I just don't want to be an emotional burden on them. They deserve to live happy lives. They shouldn't have to shoulder what I'm living through, or take on my troubles, and be weighed down terribly as a result. I'm alone to handle this shit, and I hate it. I hate being fucking depressed with no help. But I can't even get therapy because again NO FUCKING MONEY and my parents REQUIRE that I pay my own therapy bills.

Every day my father forces me out of bed ay 7:30am to start job hunting even though I've gone to every fucking in person location in a 20 minute drive radius of me that I can possibly find work that I'm capable of or qualified for, only to be told, "I don't know if we're hiring, check online." And yet my father keeps forcing me to go in person and hound these people and keep looking and motherfucker it's not fucking working I've applied to over 40 jobs in the last month alone and I got 0 interviews anywhere period!!!!!!!!

I can't take this. I am a fucking mental mess, I am a disaster, I cried myself to sleep just a few hours ago, and my whole body hurts like fucking hell and I can't do anything about it because I've taken so many goddamn painkillers for months straight now that my stomach is aching consistently and I have to stop.

I'm fucking done. My favorite game ever that's been my hyperfixation for many years now is coming out with an expansion tomorrow, and it's the first time I can't get the expansion at all. I've gotten every single one since release, I played them all many times over, and this is the one I just can't have, and it honestly feels like I'll never have it and never play it.

I can't even play any of the games my friends do. They've got like Helldivers and keep begging me to join them, to buy it already, but I keep telling them I have no income at all, and literally $4.80 to my fucking name right now. That's it.

I'm alone. I'm isolated. I can't reach out to a friend without feeling like a fucking burden. I can't go hang with them at renfairs and LARPs and concerts like we used to do because money is inexistent. I can't play games with them from my home because we don't have any games to play together and I can't buy any. And I can't even get help with a therapist because yeah I have no godsforsaken money and I therefore can't get therapy and I just hate being alive seriously.

Fuck this. Fuck me. Fuck my life!!!!!

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ursbearhug · 1 year ago

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Imagine being 40 something and needing someone to explain to you how certain experiences are self contained.

Because being serial complainer and professional hater is my favourite past time, I'll do the thing: to comment on something I saw that upset me, whilst never name dropping, just before I go to sleep.

Games can be self contained experiences. I remember similar 'scandal' happening when Elden Ring was just released and people were appalled that after a month or two the interest/buy/play rates have dropped. Of course they did. Players who considered getting the game resolved their interest, players who played the game did everything they wanted and there was nothing else for them to buy. Now, I haven't played Elden Ring myself, but, going off my impeccable gamer's instinct, and common sense, I glean that as with other souls games; you're with nothing else to do after your 3rd play through. I remember my fascination with Nioh; my first play through cheesing all of the bosses (exept Hino Emna and Giant Toad. Fuck these hoes), second when I tonfa my way through and third where I wanted to be a great magician. But what else am I supposed to do after all of that? I've tested all of the weapons, I tackled almost all of the content, I know the game in and out. That's 200something hours and finite things to do. It's impossible to came up with a game with infinite stuff to do. Even games like Minecraft or Terraria, Sims, or whatever have you, where you make your own fun with given tools, are finite. There is only so much to do. And that's fine.

Games are about fun and interactive experience. After the fun ends, it's time for some other media or a break.

So it makes it hard for me to put myself in a mindset of somebody almost 20 years older than me, incapable of grasping such simple concept. Do you grab a book and get upset after you finish it that the story reached it's conclusion? There is only so much paper for one book, there is only so much words somebody could put on a word document. Things start and things end, that's only natural.

As with the release of pokemon S/S, I was of the impression the game was rushed. Which was all but confirmed when it launched with bug list and 'features' list so long, it got it's own post on reddit. Pokemon SwSh, scarlet and violet and probably Arceus could use some extra time in development oven. A lot of games could. Sometimes they release games and the problems become more apparent because of foresight. These days they still have it better because they can fix it with simple patch notes. But sometimes, some problems, are not as readily visable and obvious.

I am a long fan of Tomb Raider series. But even I eventually out grew my fascination period and realised that last releases have close to nothing to do with tomb raiding and that's disappointing. Tomb Raider 2013, while not perfect, made a perfect set up for future games. And they did not deliver. From puzzle solving, platforming exercise, with tomb raiding and big tiddy lidy vignette to a pseudo survival game question mark. Tomb Raider 2013 (survival in Japan). Rise of the Tomb Raider; still not tomb raiding, survival but this time in Sybir. Shadow of the Tomb Raider, still no tomb raiding, survival but in America, ohh uuu so exotic. Might as well rename the trilogy to 'Daddy Issues' Raider: Survival in (throws the dart at the board) random place on the earth.

But these are not thoughts or feelings I had immediately after playing the game. This comes from some amount of time to mull over how I really feel about these. These are also not thoughts of a hater. Beside atrocious optimisation of Rise of the Tomb Raider, I really liked the games. I enjoyed playing them at the face value. But again, with experience or time, come new perspectives. And games, movies, books and all sorts of media deserve a little grace period. I'm sure even medias that do deserve critism (like Antisemitism The Game: Transphobia Crowdfunded or whatever Colleen Hover did), have gotten their somehow graced period only to inevitably flop.

So maybe don't pretend that drop of interest within 2 months of existance of a game is some loud statement. Not everyone has the pleasure of playing games 12 hours daily. Some players have to speed run the content to get the most of it in their busy days. Some will do the stark opposite. Some played and had to drop it. Some play little by little. Some got bored. Some got disappointed. Everyone is quick to judge too. 2 months is not that long. Think of it this way; Aristophanes had more than 2000 years to get better and have nicely established career as a funny man and his comedies are still dog shit.

Anyway, garlic bread and gay sex. Tell your friends you love them and drink your water.

#percy does things #will delete later

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thewalruswasmostdefinitelypaul · 1 year ago

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If you give me money, I will buy things just for the concept of being able to use said things in the future.

I am playing dress up with my bank account. I am buying conceptualized variant personalities of myself. I've had a metal detector for 3 years now... I have never used it once. I just wanted to collect the capability of being my metal detecting self. My entire personality is centralized on gaining new LEGO Batman suits in case I need/want them. We've got everything from metal detecting me, to epoxy resin me (unopened, I want to preserve leaves), to Python coder me (I just bought a new masterclass on Python, I don't know anything about coding I just wanna be make a game from my imagination), all the way to the most recent basketball star me. Haven't played basketball in years, but I've got the full getup now. Basketball, pump, new athletic shoes are on the way (I wear $20 shoes, I deserve to treat myself to marshmallows), knee brace... I've even got the sweat band for my head that doesn't actually help me in any identifiable way. I did all of this because the park near me just constructed a new court, and I want to feel joy again.

I am a collector with no specific collection. I feel like a ghost looking for the finalizing closure to pass on to the beyond. I am also radically poor and should not be spending money on anything other than soup. Every time I buy a new personality to hang in the closet, I feel simultaneously connected and disconnected with myself. What does the original suit look like? I don't remember. Maybe it's buried in a pile of dirty laundry. Maybe I'm fooling myself into thinking there ever was an original suit.

#actually autistic #autistic community #autism #autistic things #neurodivergent #mental health #masking #coping #metacognition

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myaquariusheart · 2 years ago

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15/4

"Today, the best way for you to help others is with a dose of honesty. They'll be grateful for your directness. You can bring out the outcome you want." We had a heated discussion with Mum in the front room just before everyone went to sleep. She wants to retire by 50 and wants us to all support her financially, which, I guess she deserves, she has been looking after us all these years but I just find it ridiculous to have little to no savings and want to retire. She was telling me how she wanted Bab to get a better job but constantly putting him down is not going to motivate him to do better. Knowing were struggling sometimes isn't enough when someone's self-esteem is down and I do know a lot about low self-esteem. I gave her the example of me and Z doing our theory once she stopped forcing us to do it and making us feel bad that we basically don't drive, we finally wanted to do it ourselves with our own inspiration and determination. I don't know who wrote the rules to be Bengali because I hate them honestly. You're all washed up and unwanted if you're a woman whos not married by 27. It's so backward and not fair. We're expected to be married so young and enjoy no freedom. I literally wish I could travel the world and do some things that I love and can do without feeling the guilt of leaving Mum and Dad behind but I guess that's my sad little life. I can of course try and find a really good paying job and save enough to start alone somewhere but I also do want to be loved by a man and be married one day, I guess at my own pace. It's difficult and hard but I guess that part of my journey can start when I finally pass my driving, otherwise, I'm going to have to rely on TFL to get to places. After graduation I need a week at least of nothingness, I want pure relaxation and to do nothing with myself. I'm going to buy myself some new alcohol markers and really practice and focus on drawing and creating some art, I haven't been able to do much of it but I want to make a nice collection again and discover my own personal art style because I don't have one. I've also lost all my old art but luckily I have some pictures. I'm still going to work at the cafe or I will go crazy but you know, no stress. I want to go on holiday to Italy but I have no one to go with (that I would even want to go with) so it's all a bit shit. Anyway, tomorrow is the last day before I go back to my normal routine of Uni and work. Kinda can't wait to go back and kinda can't be bothered too. It's nearly over, five years of a really stressful university journey and I'm proud of myself because I honestly didn't think I could do it. Today was really nice, we watched the Super Mario movie. It was super funny and we were all laughing lots. I loved the silliness and the lightness of the movie and I'm so happy Alv enjoyed it because she's not too familiar with Super Mario brothers. It brought back a lot of childhood memories of playing the DS games and Mario Kart. I loved it and would want to watch it again but somewhere cheaper. The adult ticket was like £16 and that is literally too much. We had the worst pizza hut experience ever, I think it's under new management and that man was a bit horrible and did not have good customer service. I ordered a meal deal for about £20 for one pizza about 11 inch, and then properly reading the menu I saw kids could get their own personal 9inch pizza, with a side, bottomless drink, AND A DESSERT? for £7 so I asked the guy for a refund and he was being arsey about it. On top of that when the guy served the pizza he dropped half of it on the table and we were just wishing we went to Burger King instead. I'm in bed now, gonna try and sleep in a bit. I managed to finish my philosophy essay yesterday but when I go in on Monday or Tuesday I need to re-read it and include some references. Tomorrow my to-do list consists of me collecting my laundry, getting some hair dye, and getting ready for the first day of Uni on Monday.

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etraytin · 2 years ago

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I posted 566 times in 2022

That's 328 more posts than 2021!

55 posts created (10%)

511 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@beingatoaster

@vaspider

@bethanyactually

@memetrash-coyote

@tanoraqui

I tagged 497 of my posts in 2022

Only 12% of my posts had no tags

#loading ready run - 16 posts

#the west wing - 16 posts

#btvs - 12 posts

#hermitcraft - 10 posts

#the good place - 5 posts

#youtube - 4 posts

#encanto - 4 posts

#journal - 4 posts

#lmao - 3 posts

#this is cool! - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#this is a callout post for all the eighties and nineties kids who read fantasy obsessively and wanted a fire lizard more than anything else

My Top Posts in 2022:

Watching the news this morning (awful, I know) and they're reporting on a program that builds bunk beds and hands them out "to deserving children." I couldn't help but wonder what a child has to do to be deserving of a bed. Then I realized that the much more vital question is "What could a child possibly do that would make them not deserve a bed?"

19 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

I end up asking myself lots of existential questions every time I move but "Why do I have SO MANY MICROWAVES???" is not usually one of them. In other news, I have one week to sell three microwaves.

20 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

So I was watching Loading Ready Run last night and they were doing a very funny bit on weird superheroes and supervillains. One of them was named 50% Chad, and he basically won the "weirdest superpowers ever" by a long shot. Not even a close race. I was texting with my husband, who is a big fan of superhero comics, and I sent him a picture of 50% Chad.

"Oh yeah," he sends back, "if you think that's something, the creator of that character is the lead singer of My Chemical Romance."

I looked it up, and yeah. The lead singer of My Chemical Romance (who I already knew did comics, but seriously?) is also the same person who created This Guy.

And now I know what it is like to take psychic damage at instant speed.

22 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

Desert Bus for Hope 2022 starts rolling today at 5pm, EST! Raising money for Child's Play Charity to not only buy toys and video games for kids in hospitals and domestic violence shelters, but also to provide grants for child life specialists to make the best use of those resources.

Come watch Canada's funniest nerds play the world's worst video game for days on end to raise money for an amazing cause!

twitch_live

25 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So I've decided that what I like best about Hermitcraft is that it is Minecraft for grownups, but not like you'd think. It's absolutely not "Minecraft with sex and adult language," instead it is "Minecraft where the players make jokes about Top Gun and Alanis Morissette and commiserate about those 25 year old youngsters who just don't understand." It is exactly in my lane. Of course the only person in my life who hears about my new fascination and doesn't immediately go "you're watching _what?_" is my twelve year old son, so I guess I also like Hermitcraft for being Minecraft for bringing generations together. Anyway, it's funny!

35 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #so this is definitely my main blog #and it is very funny how much smaller it is this year than my sideblog #like my number one post there got almost five thousand notes #and this one here got 35 AND it was about Hermitcraft anyway #but i will never abandon this account because all of the notes on it are basically from my mutuals and people i recognize #so each one is ten times more important anyway

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thecrimsonmonarch · 3 years ago

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I posted 1,111 times in 2021

69 posts created (6%)

1042 posts reblogged (94%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 15.1 posts.

I added 242 tags in 2021

#batman - 44 posts

#dc - 37 posts

#incorrect quotes - 31 posts

#kas talks - 25 posts

#batfam - 22 posts

#bruce wayne - 22 posts

#superbat - 19 posts

#superman - 15 posts

#tz reblog - 14 posts

#kas draws - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 82 characters

#this show still has one of the most visually stunning cinematography ive ever seen

My Top Posts in 2021

*Bruce and Clark going undercover in a hotel*

Receptionist: Business or pleasure?

Bruce & Clark: *at the same time* "Pleasure" "Business"

Receptionist: ...

Clark: Both.

Bruce: We're in the business of pleasure.

*later, in the elevator*

Clark: Pretty sure the receptionist thinks one of us is a prostitute

Bruce: Dibs on being the prostitute

Clark: You do remember we're actually on a mission? And that we already have assigned identities?

Bruce: *ignoring Clark* I'll have a lucrative career as a prostitute

Clark: B, you're a billionaire

Bruce: *already thinking of a stage name* I'll be excellent. My theatricality will finally get the applause it deserves

765 notes • Posted 2021-07-27 10:14:36 GMT

Damian: There will be a family talent show at school--

Dick: *excited* Yes! I know exactly what to do. I've been waiting for this opportunity for years--

Dick: Hello, Gotham! Welcome to the first ever gig of Bats out of Hell!!!

1672 notes • Posted 2021-08-17 00:19:33 GMT

[Wayne Manor Study]

Bruce: *sleeping on an armchair, mouth slightly open, surrounded by whispering batkids*

Dick: *flicking a bread crumb into Bruce's mouth* 13...

Jason: *following suit* 14...

Tim: 15...

Damian: *watching, but not taking part* You'd think he'd have woken by now.

Dick: 16... Maybe he's just tired.

Damian: Then why are you imbeciles trying to wake him?

Tim: Maybe he's hungry?

Jason: 17... Yes. We're just doing our duty by feeding him.

Tim: Because we're worried. 18...

Jason: Like the good sons we are.

Dick: The best sons. 19...

Damian: You are all horrible.

Jason: *nodding solemnly* 20...

Damian: ...You've convinced me. I'm joining.

Tim: Alright, after me. 21...

Damian: *pushing sleeves to his elbows* Whoever wakes him up gets to take the blame... and buy the rest food.

Everyone: *vigorous nodding*

Damian: Very well. Good luck, gentlemen. 22...

Everyone: 23... 24... 25...

Bruce: *has been awake since breadcrumb #1, finding it increasingly hard to find a non-awkward way to wake up the longer the game goes*

Everyone: ...51... 52... 53...

Dick: We're getting low on crumbs, lemme get more. Anybody need anything?

Jason: Bring snacks--

Damian: Lots of snacks--

Tim: Coffee for me--

Bruce: *coughing on 53 bread crumbs* And water--if you don't--mind

1973 notes • Posted 2021-08-04 10:23:36 GMT

[Watchtower Cafeteria]

Green Lantern: Uhh, why is there a bomb schematic taped to the fridge?

Flash: Shhh, no *whispering aggressively* Don't ask, he'll hear--

Batman: *materializing out of the shadows* Did someone say something about the bomb schematic?

Flash: Too late, save yourself *speeds away*

Green Lantern: *blinking at Batman* Uh, yeah... Is it yours?

Batman: *standing beside the fridge, gesturing to the schematic like a tour guide at the museum* It is, but I didn't make it. Robin did. It's brilliant, isn't it. If you direct your attention to this part, you'll see that he wanted to use aluminum instead of--

Green Lantern: *growing more confused* Isn't he like, 13--?

Batman: 13 and already revolutionizing bomb technology. Amazing, isn't he.

Green Lantern: Not the first word I'd use, but yeahhh, sure, amazing--

Batman: Since you expressed interest, let me show more of his work--

Green Lantern: Uh, no, it's okay, I'm sure you're busy--

Batman: *clasping a hand on GL's shoulder* No, I insist. Come with me.

Green Lantern: *resigned, cursing Flash for leaving him behind* Well if you insist

2019 notes • Posted 2021-08-08 10:16:27 GMT

Bruce: Some investigative reporter you are

2155 notes • Posted 2021-08-25 10:22:09 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#Here's to my first active year on this hellsite #!!!#2021 year in review #year in review #2021 masterpost #woohoo!#kas talks #personal

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depressedhatakekakashi · 3 years ago

Note

After seeing so much fanfart of Kakashi being the shortest it took a lot to get used to Rin being shorter than him in the anime lol it just looked so weird XD haha yeah i definitely wouldn't say Minato was ever the daddest dad to ever dad lol especially in Team Minato years, he was more like a very lame (in their pov) semi-adult figure that tries his best to keep everyone together with the experience of like maybe 20 babysitting missions XD

AND THE GAMES HAVE SO MANY CUTE TEAM MINATO + KUSHINA MOMENTS OMG- I've never played one before but i want to buy one just for those scenes alone T.T I think there's this iconic one where Kushina beats up the boys because they had the audacity to pretend they forgot Rin's birthday to surprise her and Rin was sad and told her about it lol

I do wish we got to see more Obito, rin and Kakashi actually bonding and being friends. I think it would have been cute to see how their bonds formed over the years and how they interacted when they weren’t training.

Going out for ramen together

Getting dango

Just relaxing as a team. They deserved more of those moments and i wanna see them

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theurbansquared · 4 years ago

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Guide To Avoiding A Loser Brokerage

by James Hill | theurbansquared

Brokers can be bastards and some even get better at it while other brokers are legitimate life-changing business Sherpas

A broker is supposed to guide you through a career in real estate much like a coach or pimp - offering protection and how to understand a complicated system better and direct it to revenue without getting your neck broke while playing the game. I created and ran the most well-reviewed, largest full-service brokerage in the fastest-growing city in America. This gave me access to nearly ever broker and their broker's pay structure and innovations. I also got the agent's version of my same broker buddies brokerages when they eventually joined my brokerage; hovering anywhere from 20–60 agents. Trending insider chatter has blame going to real estate brokers of decades past (and current) and how they’ve managed their agents - - letting unsupervised agents with no experience run wild on the streets practicing on the public wearing out Realtor love and making a need for all the Mountain Dew-made Zillow-y options that currently exist.

Brokers are out of touch more than ever with today’s current media load, having to understand and use social media platforms for their advertising (since the private Town & Country affair that real estate once was is forever over and the landscape is a bit more like a half Juggalo, half programmer flea market).

Let’s dive into some situations and tenets that most agents don’t consider when choosing a brokerage.

Sales Volume

This is a bit of negotiating psychology and due diligence. Simply ask how much sales they (the brokerage) did last year and how much they’re currently at. If they don’t know these numbers they’re goons. If they don’t give it, you guessed it - they’re hiding something; their lack of revenue. I’ve hired and fired hundreds of agents and in interviews so few ask this question but it’s one of the most important questions you can ask as an agent and you need the information. An agent that doesn’t ask this has already given a tell that they’re not a top producer since they’re not interested in the production capacity of the team they may join. No bueno. Creep the brokerage as well obvi -- reviews, FB & IG engagement and current running ads, and make sure the company Christmas Party isn’t catered by Chic-fil-a at a Burnet Road dive bar.

Office

40% of your learning and 350% of your work will be done at the office. Those numbers will make sense 90% of the time after a few years in real estate. The rest should be on the streets - your car, properties, driving 75 mph talking and sending out docs, gorging on breath mints. Office, home, tiny homes, motorhomes have all blended into one larger conversation where work/live ethos are all in re-definition.

But, when you do need a more savvy moment in any market when people talk about borrowing or selling something that’s over $100K they don’t want to hear some bullshit too loud pedantic conversation seated right next to them at Starbucks or the local kooky coffee shop. In real estate Murphy’s Law is always in effect. The super important listing sign off that has to go well and they want to hear you pitch again before deciding? There will be someone (at this super ‘caj’ coffee house meeting) there projectile vomiting, or throwing cats, or something else tiresome or bad that takes more calls.

Speech and body language are massive parts of sales so when the entire set is thrown because a barista is running through a whole Sublime album. You want the most inviting cool office you can ever pull off at any given moment in real estate . Was that ever a question? There's a balance -- you can't afford that year one or three, but it’s called real estate for a reason. Sexy, exciting buildings is what the brochure said when I joined. Also, it’s about style not size.

If you haven’t lost business to coffee house back pressure you really haven’t failed at agency properly.

Social IQ

Social reach is the only conversation now. Many brokerages won’t make it as the lead generating aspects of the industry aren't powered by a private MLS anyone and the publicly-hated ‘Realtor’ designation have both brokers and agents guessing about tomorrow. Calendars, best practices and free shitty tips & templates are the du jour of the day for anyone trying to get an agent's eyes. You can Google and get all the ‘basic’ social media dance steps, but with everyone at the same happy hunting spot, you’re being covered up, which leaves all your new artistic efforts fruitless and also squandering winning time.

Traffic, leads and engagement are all separate areas that have to be fulfilled properly and even this is in flux with historic corporations and current start ups all on the same advertising playing field. Social reach and engagement is about going to the consumer direct and becoming their friend with soft bribes -- free food, gifts, prizes (trips, events tickets) or industry work tools. The great news is, real estate has always been mostly consumer direct - start up a convoy at the grocery store (bar, church, meetup) and you’re in the car that weekend looking for houses with a new client. While you, your brokerage and the world are figuring out their exact social media mix, you need to make sure a brokerage isn’t lost on social media since many won’t be able to stay in business in the next few short years. Your brokerage needs to have a plan and and at best some presence on social media. Plus, they should be running low-cost performative marketing ad campaigns to get a feel for what and if set user groups are responding to ads. Anyone can post on IG but people engage on IG when they become inspired. A brokerage should have some sort of inspiration and relationship tied in with the local allure of their city -- or heading that direction.

Mentoring

Much like a neurotic buyer chasing an interest rate for their home mortgage (and then never buying a house) agents too focused on commission may miss the essential career need for mentoring -- for their clients and career. I had a 5 deal minimum for my new agents before they were ever unsupervised and received more commission. I've had new agents with celeb clients in hand and celeb agents with no clients in hand. No one wants to do business with someone with absolutely has no, experience but they do it because they like you as a friend or fam. Your mentor is the person riding shotgun with you at the beginning of your career. On many levels you want to be this person since they embody the position and role. You're literally and figuratively are borrowing experience from them and they deserve to be paid for it. You always have to strengthen your brand outside of your brokerage but if you don’t have any experience your brand doesn’t have ‘strength’ you simply have a logo and a drag & drop website where you're possibly talking about yourself and love of unicorns or football shit but the big boat deals you dream about in bed aren’t gotten this way. Remember, no unicorn could ever throw a football good without a lot of practice and a good mentor.

Support

Support in a brokerage is really communication and solutions for small problems, and systems for managing bigger ones with people. Most of the annoying things in real estate happen outside of the deal - contracts, calls, emails, docs, signatures, more docs. You typically want a super admin, broker, or agent manager that you can call and they pick up the phone. It’s pretty simple. With a mentor, admin, or broker you’re going to have a n 8:30 PM question or deal that’s going down. You’ll need printer help. Real estate always happens now (this was one of the main mantras in my office). Printing, prequal, weekend support and constant post dinner shenanigans.

Training

Meet Frank Miller, David Mamet, the Sex Pistols, Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Hendrix, Tom Hopkins, The World’s Greatest Detective and Conan The Barbarian. We had a lot of different inspirations for the style and ethos of our urban brokerage. The World’s Greatest Detective is Batman. It was a moniker that became popular in the seventies. We used this example about how important due diligence and proper Fact Finding techniques are for serving and closing deals for clients. (It’s almost essential to be inquisitive in real estate esp about property/development to have success). Training is largely your sales meeting(s). Although I don’t come from a car background I’ve mentored many car guys transferring to real estate (they typically are out of the industry within 2 years and are there only for boom markets). Car guys have meetings every morning 6 days a week and they’re not at 9 or 10 am. They’re already working.

free module: The Burger King Phenomena: Why Agents Do Less Working For Themselves Than If They Were Working At Burger King

Many brokerages have no training/meeting schedule (monthly doesn’t count -- that’s a meet and greet company pump and catch up meeting). If a brokerage doesn’t have training on a schedule then there is no training. You’ll possibly be thrown a 3-ring binder, or given some PDF’s, or links to old bizarre training videos or a soup sandwich of all three and sometimes even a bill for the training. An agent’s training/meetings and their attendance to them are the difference between an agent making it or not when you’re 24 months or less in the role as an agent especially in the fast turbulent waters of the current 2021 market where brokerage and agent purpose and pay are under attack. From my experience, new agents that hide die.

Media

Having a background as a creative director I’m aware with great detail of agency and brokerage media needs, the cost and time they extract, and the corresponding revenue they’re projected to bring back. Brokerages are looking for their purpose now as simply having a brokerage doesn’t bring in leads like it used to. This is fitting, since the digital dumbass brokers that that didn’t understand the importance of ‘the web’ rickshawed our MLS data and sold the agent/broker centric real estate system for their benefit while current agents are left with an empty greasy enough to-go box to curl up with. Brokerages were never media houses or ad agencies but now that consumer level graphic programs and website builders are ubiquitous and any agent after being licensed for 10 days can drag & drop a website up in 4 hours and make it look like a brokerage that’s been around for years. I know I’m going wide on the subject here but stay with me because this is the crux of where the industry and consumer are renegotiating roles.

A brokerage’s value proposition has changed drastically with the telecommute revolution that was only sped and strengthened by Covid. Also, generational knowledge base gaps in technology are more apparent than ever with technology as younger agents can often be more media savvy than their broker. The market is flooded with self appointed companies or gurus that are taking on the role of the classic ad agency (Mad Men) or media production house. Also beware of real estate coaches with little or no real estate experience offering to guide you in social media. Okay media can’t be used in apex situations (such as the luxury listings you’re after) and doesn’t draw apex listings. Beware of tapioca room temperature tips and general lists from companies that can appear informative but are really boilerplate low grade data to get your attention to ultimately upsell you on a paid service.

As an agent or a brokerage, consumer level graphic and website building programs can be a death ticket to your business as your competitors have the same tools and are cranking out the same type of style of messaging you are now. Now agents, principals, admins and in art class creating flyers. This has been done since the nineties as the valleys of dead agent careers is full of 2-day Microsoft Word (or any of their shitty office offerings) seshes to produce nasty flyers and presentations. These programs are fun and making bad flyers absolutely work related - the kind of work you don’t want’ related to your business because it’s adult crayon coloring. Activity does not equal production. Staying busy doing the wrong things doesn’t make money in real estate. Rather than spending agent winning time staying in the wrong lanes for way too long, get with a team or brokerage that are providing the most exceptional visual media you can find in your market. It used to be cool 2 years ago, now it’s the only thing that matters. Visual content.

free module: Better Agent Media, Less Agent Money (media tips and hacks).

Access

This is access to your broker. Brokers with families are typically less available. Your best bet as an agent is looking for a grinder broker who sleeps on the couch at their office. This person doesn’t have kids to build into so they’ll build into your career and you’ll get the most out of these brokers. Beware of cheesedick, apathetic, rich boy, bored brokers not around and more concerned with projects like a shitty vanity wine brand that their wife’s forced them to launch since she’s not living her best life anymore as an agent.

Style

What kind of style is your brokerage? Is there an opportunity to bring more style sophistication to the market -- standout in a smaller market? Or, are you in an ultra stylish market currently and butt hurt because you already have a little story about how you’re going to keep it real and be a Dockers wearing slob for eternity? The thing about style in agency is you always need to look like you can list a million dollar house. Oh, is it really that simple? Yes it is. You complicated it. Clients always care about their housing a little bit more than they care about your real estate career. They don’t have time to figure out why you’re wearing shoe styles from 7 years ago. Don’t make it hard for people to do business with you. If you’re ugly, even better. It can be a massive advantage. Everyone on the planet loves when someone who doesn’t fall into our general current ‘attractive’ spectrum doesn’t give af, looks great and puts themselves together in a stylish way that the viewer can understand (can I get away with Teen Wolf?). A great side benefit from this step in the right direction is it’s a great way to make someone who is conventionally attractive insecure.

You want to be in the same style as the people in your area but the secret is you need to lead that style pack if you can -- you always lead and dress apex. Years ago this was anecdotal but after over 100K hours in real estate a good suite (tailored) saved my ass and literally got me business. I listed the largest house in east Austin because of a suit (and got a front page story on the newspaper real estate section for free because the owner saw me walking into the next door neighbor’s house).

Offices, dress, logo, email signature are all elements of you and your brokerage’s style. Style in and of itself isn’t enough to be a top producer in real estate. I’ve had stylish and even celebrity agents that didn't do zilch, but style often is a fingerprint to something more.

Picking the right elements for your agent style is an art because you have to offer something from yourself that’s unique enough as well as something familiar (a bridge to your uniqueness). I have a background as a musician and also as a merchant sailor. Fortunately those are easy convo starters. You could be a philatelist and have some challenges, but regardless it absolutely will take a year or three to develop your own angle and style towards the market as you learn it and the agent role more.

Things that look attractive and familiar puts client’s psychologies at ease. So, if skinny jeans are in you better get in them (that’s like five years old now). You’re on stage. You don’t wear what the worker people behind the camera wear. If you want to wear boring shit get on the other side of the camera. If you want less leads saddle up to a forgettable brokerage. People have hard days. They want you to put an effort into your real estate agency role. Currently it’s a fried role so you’re dealing with that too. People love to be smiled at and sold and especially from someone who smells good. It doesn't ever get old. Don’t make them beg for your charm. Be a nice charming person with a shirt that fits good, it’s a powerful combo.

Get My Damn Paper

If you’ve never seen a werewolf in daylight mess with an agent’s commission after the deal’s done and funded. Admin? Who is the damn person who does the admin? (accounts payable is the icey pro word if you like). That person that you contact to get your commission check cut? If that person is a weirdo, or there’s an unfriendly or sketchy quality to the office or admin staff, do not go forward (don’t confuse this with new people or industry jitters). Grab some free coffee, leave the smarm and jet to the next brokerage blind date.

Software

CRM is an annoying conversation. Here’s the things with CRM’s - for all the work CRMs curtail, because of their complexity and existence and the work(time) they take to interact with you need to consider how much work you’re putting into operating the CRM software verses how much time it’s saving. Many times brokerages have expensive yearly subscriptions with per agent fees for their CRM which can make the brokerage have a zealot meth thing for the ‘team’ software and promise you can’t have a career without taking a bump too. To understand CRM better before it was a name, Client Relationship Management is what analog Proximity became. Let me explain - being close to people in Church, bar, school, same building -- all give proximity. This becomes familiarity, then ease, then trust. People do business with people they trust & like. Once people disconnected physically and started using other means more contact attempts have to be made to work for or ‘prove’ worth.

Follow Up is a large component of most CRM’s and there are gobs of money for agents who follow up meticulously. Simply ask the broker what CRM they use and research it. Something to remember - unless you’re extremely busy with your career you don’t need a CRM. You can manage & database your clients & leads ‘by hand’ and strap it to the cloud with G-Suite/Google Sheets.

Brokerage Name

A small but important aside, if a brokerage have named themselves after a precious metal or a gem, or if it says elite in the name then it’s not elite. If it has the words prestige or worldwide or international it may not be any of those either. I know a handful of exceptions to this rule but this is a great dirty primer to use when choosing a brokerage that’s going to propel your career and have shrimp options at the Christmas Party.

#agent #realtor #realestateagent #broker #brokerage #newhomebuyer #coach #businesscoach #entrepreneurs #new agent #zillow

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cuziloveyou7 · 4 years ago

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15 questions

I was tagged by the always wonderful: @randombtsprincessa ofcourse!

Tagging: @everyone who wants to do it, @taevolucion, @an-annyeoing-writer, @kittylefayy, @oheyura, @http-je0n, @swthhhie

1. It’s your birthday! What did you ask for and did you receive it?

Okay so I'm the most basic person because I never know what to ask for. I usually ask for money or gift cards so I can buy my skincare or make up (which I don't use tbh but I just love make up so much!!!). Love to get flowers! Got them once from mom! My mom does have a whole list of ce moi... so far she promised to get me but still haven't received....

2. What was the last song or album you listened to?

Okay so imma do both! Last song was Badass women by Meghan Trainor (I needed happy and confidence) and last album was Eric Nam's The other side!

3. What is your go-to snack when you’re hungry or bored?

Ehmmm... so I rarely eat unless I'm actually hungry (blame the eating disorder, I'm good now tho but old habits die hard) so skyflex maybe? Because the only time I do do this is when it's period time and it's just a mess with what I want to eat!

4. What is your morning routine?

On a work day I wake up at 5 am, take a shower, wash my face, dress half way, skincare, eat, brush my teeth, dress fully, go to work. On days off I set my alarm at a comfortable time, slowly wake up, either shower after getting out or just lazy around the living before taking a shower, eat and play games, make some moodboards, day dream or go out if I have anything planned. I'm having a gap year so yeah imma take it slow! Can't do much with Rona anyways!

5. What mythical/cryptic creature would you be?

I was highly convinced I was the embodiment of a unicorn but I don't think I deserve that title. I wish I could be a Valkyrie because they badass. But I also kinda wanna be a mermaid/siren or fairy/fae/pixie! Idk man lemme be all!

6. How do you interact with someone that you don’t like?

Kinda nonchalant... idk I be nice and be normal but I don't put much effort in that person.

7. How do you define a toxic person?

Yooo! Das hard tho! Because I've met different types of toxic ppl. The ones I usually interact with are usually takers and I've always been a giver! I'm working on getting the right proportion of both because either one is very unhealthy on it's own. It's like ying and yang, you gotta find balance peeps! Ohh and toxic ppl usually make it so you think you're always in the wrong and at fault..

8. Have you ever been to a concert or fan meet type of event? If not, would you want to?

This is a sad story... I've only been to 1 concerts in my whole 20 years of life... would've been 2 in july but no BTS for me thanks to Rona.... I would love to go to more concerts in the future when it's possible again! But for now stay safe loves!

9. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

Eehhh.. yes and no? Like there are certain aspects I do. Also I'm more into the spiritual side of it? If that's what you can call it tho? Like the random posts you see on sm I don't take to heart. Also those magazine astrology is junk. Idk man it's hard because I also think you define you! You are your own person and that's the tea! Bc if I was to completely believe it I would be a pessimistic, workaholic who is most likely obsessed with money and success...

10. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.) what would you want?

Sight! I have so much respect for people who can't see or have really bad vision. I can't imagine not being able to see all the wonderful things life offers❤

11. Who is your favorite celebrity or idol?

BTS! Tbh I used to have a lot of ppl on this list but everyone so problematic, so far BTS aren't problematic and just overal sweethearts and baby! It's some of our toxic amry fam I wanna bash sometimes..

12. If you could talk to your favorite celebrity(ies) for a limited time, what would you tell them?

Like, thank you! For real! These guys are like a remedy for whenever I'm down or when my severe mental health issues start acting up again.

Also you guys are awesome, be healthy, be happy, be safe, never ever doubt yourself cause you're all doing a great job. Nobody knows what they're actually doing, life is weird but from what I can see you're doing a great job at it. One day I want to be able to help and impact others lives as much as you guys 💜

13. I’m taking you out on a date and it’s your choice. Where are we going?

YOOO!!! I have been thinking about this a lot as of recent years! Since romance seems to be non existent until now (someone was flirting with me for the first time and it was awful but a fun experience hahaha) I never thought about it. I knew dinner is off the table, because I just don't enjoy eating out. At first I was like going to the film is great, I don't have to talk and it won't be awkward. But that's just awful because how we get to know more things about eachother? So what I would really enjoy is going to an amusement park/carnival or fair (whatever it's called) or like fun game things like lasergaming/paintball/karting/arcade/ those wood climbing things? Idk what it's called. It's so much fun, it's active and you're getting to know each other! It doesn't feel formal and stuck up. After sometime I would also enjoy going to art galleries or museums, picknicks are cute too! But I feel like those are more intimate so I want the fun and crazy stuff first hahaha.

14. Do you like sweet or savory foods?

Savory kinda gall but I do love myself some sweets. So depends on the food.

15. Do you have any band merchandise or merchandise from any of your favorite artists? If so, what?

YES MA'AM!!!! so most is bts! Got key chains, BT21 YALL!!! album! Rubber bracelet, posters, pins and a gorgeous bag designed by my gurliepren! Also got an exo chain from a friend and that's it so far! I want more, A LOT MORE!!! because I stan enough peeps!

#why do i always make these so long #you can basically make an autobiography outta this #I tried to keep it as short as possible #because believe me when i say there's a lot more i couldve said about these subjects #thank you my gurl for tagging me #i love you #but u know that #i always say that #imma find something else to say next time #tagged games

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