#i've tried my best with the IDs but i am new to this

[silentpinessave]

V.1: Silent Pines, 1998 Special Credit: Silent Pines is heavily inspired by and uses a very similar style to the stunning @windbrook savefile by @folkling, the gorgeous portsim savefile by @florwal, and the amazing builds by @moonwoodmillz. Thank you all for your hard work, I take a lot of inspiration from you all. Silent Pines is a base-game only save file inspired by Life is Strange with 3 major worlds, a whole new set of townies, and a complete mystery to solve.

Version 1 contains;

Willow Creek as Silent Pines

13 Community Lots

3 move-in ready homes for your sims

A total of 9 houses, 6 of which are filled with townies

18 households with jobs, story, and drama

A complete mystery to solve (should you want to)

DOWNLOAD, INFO, AND SCREENSHOTS BELOW

I used S4Studio to rename all the worlds, and I've decorated all the neighbourhoods with T.O.O.L. As I said before, Silent Pines is completely base-game friendly, absolutely no packs or kits are used. There is some custom CC, mainly posters that add to the story. The CC is one package file and adds nothing other than some customisation to the story. It is not required.

For example the missing poster of Cleo Emerson, a girl who disappeared under mysterious circumstances;

SPECIAL THANKS Thank you to my beta testers @theemodernsim, @authorspirit, @acuar-io, @aridridge for all your help! You've been amazing and I really am very grateful. And thank you to everyone who has liked, reblogged, followed, and generally supported Silent Pines. It means the world to me to be able to share my work with people!

🌲 Download (Patreon) 🌲

Gallery ID: Cosmoosims

DISCLAIMER: There have been reports of the 'build mode item missing' message popping up, especially in the downtown area. I've tried to fix this to the best of my ability, and I hope it's alright! Also, if there is anything I should fix or have left out, please let me know. Thank you for your patience <3

ALSO: Due to the Sims 4 being a broken game, I really don't recommend playing Silent Pines with Rental Units, in case the T.O.O.L objects up and disappear lol.

Silent Pines is heavily inspired by Life is Strange, the Windbrook save file, florwalsims' Portsim save file, as well as the hazy nostalgia of the late 90s and early 2000s. I hope to see you all soon for V.2!

The Mystery Update A more comprehensive outline for this update will be coming soon, but essentially it will contain;

Hopefully the fixed Harris household

More mystery clues to make the mystery more engaging and easier to solve

Better and complete lot descriptions

Love from, Silent Pines.

[kayhi808]

I got an ask for ya. I don't think anyone has asked this but I apologize if answered this...

What about if Mama gets pregnant? Will Abbie Rose be happy? How will Bucky react? Maybe he thought he would be able to get Mama pregnant because of his Hydra past. U can do with this what u will. Thank u, and I love our little family. Superb writing as always. B

Thank you, B!! 🥰 Wow! There's so much here to work with. Someone did ask about Abby being a big sister. In theory, she's so excited...in reality there might be big adjustment / jealousy issues our little family will need to work through. I'll try to find a link. Proud Papa Toys for New Baby

You're sitting on the bathroom floor, the chill from the tiles seeping into your skin. Tears silently tracking down your cheeks. You just finished a battle with nausea & dry heaves.

You jump at the light knocking on the bathroom door, "Doll? Are you ok?" Bucky could hear your heavings & stuttered breath. "Can I come in?" He tries the door and it's locked. He's about to panic when he hears the soft click of the lock. He slowly opens the door to find you on the floor & he closes the door, not wanting Abby to see you like this. "What's wrong?" Kneeling by your side, rubbing little circles onto your back.

"I got sick."

"Do you want me to take you to the med bay?" After the wedding, you and Abby moved into The Tower with Bucky.

"I'm also...late."

"Late for what?" You roll your eyes and cry harder. "Oh. OH!"

"I'm about 2 1/2 weeks late and..and I just threw up. I didn't think too much about being late because the stress of the wedding, moving here..."

In a stunned whisper, "And I told you I couldn't have children."

"You said that with HYDRA...the serum..."

"Its not possible."

"You're the only man I've been with! If I'm pregnant, the baby is yours."

Bucky frowns at you, "Of course the baby is mine! Did you think I'd question that?!"

"I don't know! I'm just scared."

"Shit," gathering you in his arms, "Doll, you're so..."

"Don't call me crazy!"

Kissing you on the forehead, "Wouldn't dream of it." His hand rest on your abdomen. "Do you really think you could be pregnant?"

Your sobs turn to hiccups, "I think I am."

Bucky picks you up and carries you back to bed, "We'll get you tested first thing in the morning, but for now, try and get more sleep. Don't worry about Abby, I'll get her ready for school & drop off. Get your rest." He pulls you back up against him. His hand still resting on your belly.

******

"Any word?" You jump at the sound of Bucky's voice from your doorway. "Sorry."

"Not yet." Bucky leans down for a kiss.

"Were you able to keep anything down today?"

"I had toast and some soup. I'm good." Your phone rings and caller ID say it's Dr. Cho. "It's her! It's her!"

Bucky runs back to shut the door & rushes to your side. "Mrs. Barnes."

"Hi Dr. Cho. I have you on speakerphone, Bucky is here."

"Sargent Barnes. Congratulations are in order." Both you and Bucky turn to each other wide eyed. "Baby Barnes should arrive early February of next year."

"Oh my God."

"Holy Fuck," you swat Bucky's arm. "Sorry! That's great news! Thank you so much."

"It is great news but I will be classifying this as a high risk pregnancy. We don't know the effects the serum will have on the baby. You'll need to be monitored closely."

"Of course, whatever you think is best!"

"I'll have a checkup calendar sent to you and Sgt Barnes."

"Yes, thank you so much!" You hang up the phone and Bucky's already swept you up in his arms.

"I put a baby in you." He laughs, "A super baby."

@waywardhunter95 @wintrsoldrluvr @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitosmmmm @julvrs @unaxv @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @winterslove1917 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @mrsnikstan @hisredheadedgoddess28 @itsteambarnes @otterlycanadian @purplecolordeer @samsgirl93 @buckitostan @littleredwolf @mcucatlady @silas-aeiou @hzdhrtss @florie1 @thecubanator2 @enchantedbarnes @selella @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @cjand10 @pancake-05 @ozwriterchick @crazyunsexycool @baw1066 @nommingonfood @jvanilly

[simsi45]

The Sims 4 Amber House Pack - PUBLIC RELEASE!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE PATREON PAGE!

Oh...my...GOD!!! I can't believe this is actually happening....

After 3 years of hard work, I am here to welcome everyone to:

The Sims 4 Amber House Pack!

It's time to create your own mission style dream house, with this collection of 345 brand new and hella cool build/buy mode items, inspired by Dontnod's "Life is Strange: Before the Storm" game.

EARLY ACCESS: You can get the pack right now, on my PATREON on the 3-5$ tiers, or wait for the 12th of May for the public release!

Please read EVERYTHING included in the post as it contains useful information about the pack!

DISCLAIMER: Simsi45 or The Sims 4 Amber House Pack is NOT affiliated or associated with Electronic Arts, Square Enix, Deck Nine or Dontnod in ANY way. This is a purely fanmade pack made by me, a fan of both games that wanted to get the best of both worlds.

FEATURES:

 345 new items (including sofas, tables, decor, windows, doors and much much more!)

 Search for "amberhouse", "lis", "simsi45" to find most of the items in the build/buy catalog.

 Custom original names and descriptions. (the best I could come up with :P)

 Tons of custom recolors (based on original textures) to mix and match items more easily.

 Heavy modification on original meshes and textures, including english text turned into simlish.

 Everything has been playtested thoroughly.

 Included are a couple of easter egg items from The Sims 2 that I thought fit the theme well.

New lot I made showcased in the trailer and pics (found in the gallery under my tag @simsi45_mods) a recreation of Rachel Amber's house.

LOT INSTALLATION:

Included in the pack is the lot recreation of the Amber House that's featured in the pictures and videos.

You can get the lot by:

Using the gallery. Make a search under my EA id: @simsi45_mods and download the lot as usual. I've included customized pictures to identify my own lot more easily. Make sure you have the "enable custom content" tag ENABLED for the lot to show up in the results.

If you have difficulties using the gallery you can download the lot tray files from the bottom of the post, and move them inside your own tray folder. This can be found in your documents/electronic arts/the sims 4/ tray folder. This way you can install the lot without the need of the gallery.

NOTES:

~ The pack is in an EARLY-ACCESS STATE! I have dedicated a lot of time to test everything but I'm a team of just a single person. If you find any issues please let me know so I can take a look.

~ Because of the amount of items the size of the pack is quite big. I tried my best to make everything as compact as possible with the final size being 1.5 GB of required free space. 

~ The majority of the meshes and textures of these items are ripped straight from the LIS: Before the Storm game, and then each individual item (both mesh and textures) has been heavily modified and edited to fit and function properly within the Sims 4 game's engine. That's why some items will look identical to the original game, some look somewhat different, and some are brand new meshes I made using the original items.

~ Some of the original ripped meshes' poly counts were WAY too high so I had to lower the polygons so The Sims 4 wouldn't explode when filling a lot with them. I lowered the polygons and edited most of the items as much as possible without compromising their original look too much. In other words I tried to find the best balance between looks and performance and after lots of testing on my moderate PC system, I can confirm the game runs super smoothly on my end. 

BACKSTORY ABOUT THE PACK (no spoilers):

This pack started with an idea I got back in 2017 when I first played Life Is Strange Before The Storm. When visiting the Amber house, I immediately fell in love with it as I am huge fan of the craftsman architectural style, it's literally all I'd want my dream house to be. The art team has done an incredible job on it, and as I personally find the art style of the Life is Strange series and The Sims 4 to fit very well with each other, I wanted to make these assets available for The Sims 4. Of course back then this all seemed impossible, however a few years later in 2020 during quarantine I revisited the idea as it had been stuck on my wishlist ever since.

To make a long story short, this project has been in the works for about 3 years now, and after a lot of hard work, head scratching and quite a few sleepless nights I managed to overcome all the obstacles I came across (which were a lot mind you) and I'm honestly hoping you'll be as pleased with the results as I am. Seriously this exceeded my expectations as it started as a small little pack for my personal use, to what I'd consider an expansion pack's (or even more) worth of build/buy content.

INSTALLATION:

Due to the size of the pack I had to split it up into multiple parts. You will need a .RAR extractor unpack it. More specifically:

1 -> Download ALL 6 parts of the pack and put them ALL in the same folder. 2 -> Right click the 1st part .RAR file named "Simsi45 - The Sims 4 Amber House Pack.part1" and click "Extract Here"   3 -> Once that's finished a package file will appear, this is the entire pack and you can now move that into The Sims 4/Mods. Simple as that!

CREDITS & THANKS:

~Dontnod, Square Enix, Deck Nine for the original meshes & textures ripped from Life is Strange: Before the Storm that were used to create most of the items.

~EA for some meshes & textures used to convert some items from The Sims 2.

Special thank you to all the patreon members that stuck with me throughout me developing the pack. Although not many I really appreciate every single one of you for the support you've given me and for sticking around!

[harleehazbinfics]

Home is where my Heart is.

Chapter 7: Stayed Gone Table of Contents | Profile

Word Count: 1014 A/N: yeah we're going to the singing bits yaaaay. just imagine her voice trying to meld into his and creating this like light airy but enchanting sound on top of his deep and dark tone. cuz yes we love blending and harmonizing in this family. also also alastor will be in bold and miledy in italics and both will be like this for the song. enjoyyyyy (thank you sm transcribers of the wiki id actually die if encoded all of that gshdajsdg)

“This is such a nice day,” I hummed enjoying my tea while Alastor sat opposite of me reading the paper with his coffee and enjoyed the mundane moment together.

Until it wasn’t, as a rocket launches below us. “Come show yourself, Alastor! Come face—oh, there you are. Face my wrath!”

“Who are you?” he jeers enjoying getting on his nerves while I smiled at the two. Al clearly doesn’t dislike him but instead enjoys toying with him, he doesn’t completely shut him down unlike an unpleasant certain someone. I actually find Sir Pentious quite cute how he tries to size Alastor up despite failing several times but he’s got guts I give him that.

“Who am I? Who am I? I am the great Sir Pentious! Inventor! Architect of Destruction! Villain extraodinare!” He announces while the both of us slide within Al’s shadow and appear in front of Charlie and the others.

“Ooh! He’s a bad boy!” Nifty calls as she appears on top of Al’s shoulder.

He takes Nifty and places her in my arms and replies, “Ha, well if all that's true, you'd think I'd have heard of you.”

“I attacked you literally last week,” Sir Pentious replies, only for Alastor to cock his head, “We've done battle, like... 20 times.”

 “Well, you must have been really bad at this,” he teases putting his cane down.

“Silence! Now cower! For when I've ssslain you, the almighty Vees will finally acknowledge me as their equal.”

“Ooh! Wait, who are the Vees?” Nifty asks while in my arms.

“Oh, nobody important,” both Al and I respond giving each other a knowing look.

While Al kept beating up the poor lad, I turn my eyes on the drone in the sky noticing the familiar logo on it. A devious smile creeps on my face as I place Nifty on the ground and shot it down with a lance made of water. It falls with a crash conveniently landing on my feet. I crushed it under my heel before turning back to the group.

“Thanks for another forgettable experience,” Al says pleased with himself while he leans on his cane looking down at Sir Pentious.

“Thank you...” he pauses before tearing off a piece of his tailcoat, “for letting your guard down!

“Oh, deer,” I mutter, wide eyed as I watched Al transform into his demon form and makes an explosion that causes the snake to fly off to the distance.

“Well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor! Best of luck, chums,” he announces, taking me with him.

“Wait, you're LEAVING?! Alastor! We need your help! We need you to do your job,” Vaggie yells gesturing to the hotel.

“We need a wall,” Angel deadpans pointing at the broken wall.

“Of course! Can't let my new project fall into disrepair already. What would the papers say?!” he exclaims.

With a snap of his fingers his shadows appear with building equipment. He turns away from the group and takes us to the pentagram. We enjoy a little stroll before getting inside the boutique, he got his suit redone while I looked at the new dress they had on display. I bought a couple dresses that caught my eye and exited the building together, only to be greeted by Vox’s unpleasant face singing on the television. We shared a look and went back to Al’s studio with a smile.

“Salutations! Good to be back on the air,” We greeted in sync blending our voices ever so often creating a seductive distortion.

“Yes, I know it's been a while since someone with style treated Hell to a broadcast.” Al starts off while I finish, “Sinners rejoice!”

“What a dated voice!” Vox yells.

I drape my arms around Al’s neck as he sat back on his seat in an easy going way while keeping the microphone to his face and replies, “Instead of a clout chasing mediocre video podcast.”

“Is Vox insecure, pursuing allure? Flitting between this fad and that. Is nothing working? Ha ha!” we tease him enjoying the annoyance in his voice.

“IGNORE THEIR CHIRPING!”

“Every day he's got a new format!”

“YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE FUTURE! He's the shit that comes before that!”

“Is Vox as strong as he purports? Or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without the other Vees!”

“Oh, PLEASE.”

“And here's the sugar on the cream. He asked ME to join this team!”

“Hold on!”

“I said no, and now he's pissy! That's the tea.”

“You old timey PRICK! I'll show you suffering!”

“Uh oh, the TV is buffering!”

“I'LL DESTROY YOOOOU YOU LITTLE—"

His little temper tantrum leads him to short circuit causing the electricity in the entire pentagram to disappear.

“I'm afraid you've lost your signal.”

“Let's begin.” He sings menacingly slowly transforming to his demon form. “Let's begin.” I sang hauntingly on top of his voice, my eyes turn black leaving my glowing blue irises hypnotically.

“I'm gonna make you wish that I stayed gone!” “Tune on in.”

"When I'm done, your status quo will know its race is run!

Oh, this will be fun!"

I laughed in delight, celebrating our wonderful comeback to our radio show. Al gives me smile and stands there quietly enjoying my reaction.

“That was wonderful! We haven’t done that in so long!” I gushed holding onto his hands. “I thought I’d have to wait 200 hundred years to sing with you again.”

He laughs petting my head, “No need for drastic measures, my dear. I’m here to stay.”

I beamed a smile and gave him a brief hug. “I’m guessing you’ll be greeting our new guest,” I asked while fixing his bow.

“But of course! I need to welcome their little toy they reeled in for us,” he smirks, “Have a good rest. I’ll see you later.”

I wave him off before I went back to our room, relaxing in our bed drifting to sleep.

‘Mom! Dad! I found some flowers over here!’

Tears fall down my face as I recall much happier times.

[arrowhawkart]

Alright what's up everyone! If you do not follow my personal blog fair warning: I have become very suddenly obsessed with Dragon Age and have been playing thru the games for the first time ever- so expect the next chunk of art from me to be very Dragon Age-centric

So Anyways here's Atlas Hawke, the fun little guy I made for my DA2 playthrough and became incredibly attached to much faster than I expected.

More incoherent rambles and thoughts on my Hawke under the cut- it's very stream of consciousness under there and also very very long you've been warned

[ID in Alt Text]

Just like.... wow.... okay so I've now played through Inquisition and finished Trespasser and I've gotta say DA2 really took the cake for me, like by far my favorite of the 3. (Like please don't get me wrong it absolutely had it's issues I'm not saying it was a perfect game or that all the writing choices were amazing) But I just really enjoyed the smaller more personal scale of the conflicts in DA2, I liked that Hawke was even more Just Some Guy, and like yeah the Warden and the Inquisitor aren't like special chosen ones or anything, but they are both tasked with these gigantic world-saving country-spanning quests, and Hawke? Hawke is just a guy trying to do right by his family. Like he doesn't have any world saving mission. He is just trying to Get By and that really made this game hit home more for me than the other two.

I said I was gonna ramble about my Hawke and I just ended up rambling about DA2 itself... whoops. ANYWAYS- Atlas- My Boy Atlas- I recognize that a purple mage Hawke is the most common route people go and I am by no means unique or original, but this game series is very new to me, personally, and I'm having fun anyways. (From here on out I will be talking about my Custom Hawke and not like, Hawke the player character in general)

And gosh I'm such a sucker for complicated and messy family dynamics, and DA2 does that so well. Like the Hawke family is Fucked Up. Bethany gets killed by that ogre while they're fleeing Lothering when she tries to save their mom from said ogre, and Leandra immediately turns and blames Atlas for Bethany's death- and then later in Act 1, Carver, best baby brother Carver, also throws Bethany's death in his face while they're having their own stupid argument which started because Atlas was trying to cheer Carver up and boy did that fail dramatically.

Like Atlas is witty and charming and sarcastic and kind of an asshole sometimes, and comes of as incredibly over confident and cocksure and that's because he's very much been shoved into the role of 'okay you've gotta take care of everything and if you don't everything bad is Your Fault, and since you're in charge of taking care of everything, everything bad is automatically Your Fault No Matter What Anyways.' So he's gotta playact like he has everything all together and under control, because what the fuck is his family gonna do if he doesn't? And underneath all of that he's an incredibly stressed out guy, who does not feel like he can ever let on that he's stressed and making everything up as he goes and just hoping that things work out well.

And like he tries to do the right thing- by god does this man try. He brings Carver with him on the deep roads mission because he and Carver work well together! Carver wants to go! He loves his little brother, there is no one he would rather have by his side than his little brother! There is no one he trusts more than Carver to have his back! Carver and Atlas are incredibly close. Like Carver is the one person who actually recognizes that the way Leandra projects all of her own issues onto them, but like mostly Atlas, is really shitty! He acknowledges that after apologizing for his part in the argument I mentioned above. And then of course Carver ends up getting the Blight during the deep roads mission, because nothing can every go right for them. Thankfully Atlas brought Anders along, so Carver is able to become a Grey Warden instead of DYING, but he has to leave, and Atlas doesn't even find out whether or not Carver survived his joining for months. And of course Leandra blames Atlas for this, she begged him not to bring Carver along with him, and he did anyways and now she's never going to see her youngest son again and it's all Atlas's fault. And that's how Act 1 ends and I just.... Auaghghghghhhh-

And then we've got Act 2, and like mid-way through Act 2 is probably the high point for Atlas. Things peak for him here and then it's all one big snowball downhill from there. So like, Atlas romanced Fenris, because this man is addicted to difficulty, and of course was going to immediately be infatuated with the guy that makes hating mages half his personality. (I mean it wasn't immediate, it was more of a slow build, mutual-trust, to friendship, to lovers thing, especially considering three years pass between Acts 1 and 2) And yeah, Atlas doesn't hide the fact that he's very into Fenris, and Fenris definitely hasn't seemed opposed to this. So after Fenris kills Hadriana and then they get together for one night- Atlas is like, riding the high of what was probably the first positive physical affection he's gotten since Carver let for the Grey Wardens three years ago. And then of course the following morning Fenris immediately breaks things off with Atlas, so what Atlas thought was going to be the start to a romantic relationship, just ends up being an ill-fated one night stand. And like! Atlas does not begrudge Fenris this! He completely understands Fenris's reasons, he is not upset with Fenris at all! He is still just completely crushed though. So yeah, things peaked for Atlas for like one very short night and then start speeding downhill. Because not long after that is when his mom is killed by a fucking serial killer. As if things weren't already fucked enough for Atlas, already having lost his twin younger siblings.

Also side note- I love the fact that DA2 is portrayed as Varric telling the story of Hawke's life to Cassandra, and that we know Varric is an unreliable narrator. Because like Leandra's last words to Hawke being that she's so proud of her strong boy- at least with how Atlas's relationship was with Leandra up to this point- felt so so out of character for Leandra, and I love the headcanon that that's Varric giving his bestie some closure narratively that he never actually got in reality. So like that's canon for Atlas. Because that was Leandra's decapitated head frankensteined onto another woman's body- and magicked into a reanimated corpse that absolutely did not seem like it had any conscious thought- like she was already dead before Atlas showed up. There were no final words. There was no nice narratively satisfying ending to that one. And I like it better that way tbh........

We're just gonna like skip over the whole qunari invasion subplot because I am. Not a fan of how that was handled. Writing wise. Like what the fuck was that. Like I have THOUGHTS about it but they're not gonna go on tumblr. Anyways. Moving on.

Champion of Kirkwall! Yay! Meredith knows he's an apostate mage and is just Waiting for any half-decent excuse to either bring him to the circle, make him tranquil, or kill him? Not yay! Atlas is absolutely good friends with Anders, and has been helping with the mage underground every chance he has. People in the city have been whispering about making him of all people Viscount and he has no idea how to feel about that, like he'd rather not, but who else is gonna do it? And who else would do it and actually give a shit about mages and elves and just like lower class people in general? Like this incredibly stressed out guy does not need more added to his plate, he really doesn't. But he's definitely thinking about it. I mean hey! It's not like he's got any family around to take care of at this point right? Why not just take that eldest daughter syndrome thing he's got going on and use it to fix the city?

The one bright spot for him here is that hey, at least he and Fenris get back together. That one's nice. They both deserve something positive and comforting after all the shit they've been through.

And then Meredith is trying to invoke the right of annulment and Anders blows up the fucking Chantry. And Atlas can't even blame him for it. After 6 or 7 years of painstakingly working to try to find peaceful ways to improve the lives of mages and getting blocked at every turn, with the knowledge that Meredith has been getting worse and worse and worse, and has been actively looking for any excuse to invoke the right of annulment and just kill every single mage in Kirkwall? And Grand Cleric Elthina has been absolutely no help, and has absolutely been subtly on Meredith's side the entire time. Like at a certain point, violence really does feel like the only option left. When you've been backed this far into a corner.

So obviously Atlas takes the side of the mages, doesn't kill Anders, is honestly like 'my dude, my buddy, my guy, my best pal(aside from Varric, and my boyfriend Fenris) why didn't you tell me? I would've helped you on purpose.' He's elated when Carver shows up during that final push to the Gallows, like the whole situation is absolutely shit, and it'd definitely be better if his beloved brother was no where near danger, but he's a Grey Warden now so that's not even an option anyways. So it's just nice to have him around even during such an intensely stressful moment. Honestly everything is so unbelievably fucked at this point that Atlas isn't even stressed anymore. Like things literally cannot get worse. He's kind of riding the high of things not being able to get worse. Or maybe that's just adrenaline. Who knows. Aveline and Sebastian both leave, Atlas is unbothered. Doesn't even try to convince Aveline to side with him later either, like he's never really gotten along with her, and he did not like how she treated Carver. Fenris and everyone else stick around, and that's what matters to Atlas, like all the people he was actually close friends with stick with him in this moment (Fenris, Varric, Isabella, Merrill, Anders, & Carver)

And then yeah, they save the mages, defeat Meredith, leave Kirkwall with the renegade mages. Everyone goes their separate ways due to one reason or another, except Fenris. At least Atlas does get to keep one positive close relationship around.

[junoshifts]

heyyy💗 I'm here to ask for advice on my shifting journey

I've been really serious about shifting this month but I just can't change my mindset I feel like i don't truly set the intention to wake up in my dr and always think id wake up in my dr again I've tried reya Singh reprogramming but then again i wasn't able to change the thought of waking up in my cr and i somehow don't know how to connect to my dr

Hello love! To begin, congratulations on trusting yourself enough to know that there’s something that needs to change in your journey and mindset— This is already a good start. As I mentioned in another reply, everyone’s journey is unique. What works for one individual may not work for you, and what works for you may not be the best approach for someone else! This being said, it’s clear that you’ve put in a lot of work into reframing your mindset, especially in the last month.  

Let’s break this down together! First, you say that you feel like you can’t change your mindset. Even if you may think otherwise, this is false. Your mindset and attitude towards life, shifting, and your Self changes every day, even when you can’t see it. The person you are now isn’t the person you were last months, and that’s a step in itself! I am not entirely familiar with Reya’s reprogramming, but when it comes to the human mind, writing things down helps to solidify new neural pathways (this is a simplified explanation of a scientific concept, but you’re welcome to explore this on your own as well). Try setting up a journal or even just a digital page in your notes— What mindset do you want to embody? What do you want your approach to shifting to be? What do you want to see from your shifting journey? Describe the mindset you want to hold and remind yourself that even with doubts, your manifestations are possible and within your grasp. 

To your second point— Waking up in your CR. From my own perspective, shifting and manifesting go hand in hand. Each decision you make is another reality, another path, another future. Even the smallest things— such as deciding what to eat for breakfast or when to wake up— set the course for your day. Shifting is similar: Just because you don’t physically see the results of your effort and work, that doesn’t mean you aren’t succeeding in some way. Each shift or attempt is one step closer to your DR, teaching you that you are capable and able to shift. It’s like riding a bike: some people might pick it up easily, other people might stumble and fall their first time, but at the end of the day you’re able to pick the bike back up and keep going. 

This may seem a bit silly or annoying to say, but be patient with yourself and show yourself compassion and kindness moving forward. You’re learning with each and every day, and reminding yourself that changes in mindset may not be instantaneous can provide a small comfort to you. You’re on the right path and you’re getting there, you will shift, even with any doubts or worries in mind. 

When it comes to connecting to your DR, that would likely be another longer post that I’m happy to write out. My messages are always open (though replies may be slow), and I’m wishing you love and luck on your journey. 💛

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

So here's an interesting one: Am I the Asshole for keeping low contact with my mother?

So I'm a 24 y/o nb and I currently live with other family due to things that happened during covid and losing my job etc etc etc. Well, I learned that while I was growing up, my mother did hard drugs (I'm talking heroin, crack, stuff like that) alongside my already shit hole of a stepdad. All while having 4 kids. My eldest sibling practically raised me and our two younger siblings until they were kicked out at 17. I never knew about our mother doing anything but pot - but I knew our shared stepdad did drugs at the time. Not to mention I am of the autistic spectrum and as a child I definitely wasn't the best to look after whenever I had my bad days. But now we get along now. ANYWAY, my eldest sibling told me to not tell mom they told me, because mom wanted to tell me herself. The thing is, I was told this over a year ago now and she still hasn't tried to say anything or explain why our childhood was so damn crappy. I'm honestly super disappointed that she let herself take such hard drugs around 4 kids. 3 under 10, no less. I've been distancing myself - I don't really text her too much outside of the occasional holiday/anniversary or news about stuff within the family. She texts me tiktoks a lot and I never open or respond to them, and honestly I've lost a lot of respect for her. She's always proud about how open and honest she is (and trust me... I know more shit about her sex life than id like to tbh), and yet she's never tried to tell me she put herself and us through all that because of drugs? When she is usually so damn put together and smart? It changed my whole perspective of her.

So, aita?

What are these acronyms?

[techav]

More Speed, More Power, Pretty Pictures

I added some crude functions to the ROM monitor on my Wrap030 project to read the root directory of a FAT16-fomatted disk and load binary files into memory to execute. This opens up a new option for developing programs and running them on the computer, and makes it easier to keep programs on-hand for loading when I demonstrate the computer.

So what new program do I build first for running from disk? The same Mandelbrot renderer I've been using all along, of course! All I needed to do to get it running from disk was adjust a few load instructions to use PC-relative addressing and then change the vasm output to raw binary.

It ran without issue ... mostly. I had been noticing some instability with the system in general. It's not really related to the programming work I've been doing, it just tended to show itself more when doing the kind of FPU-intensive processing required for the Mandelbrot program. Sometimes the system wouldn't boot at all, sometimes it would continually reset. Other times it would run fine for a while, but randomly throw a coprocessor protocol exception (especially when using double- or extended-precision floating point values).

I had a pretty good idea of where this instability was coming from ...

As someone on Discord put it, that's a pretty little antenna I've got there.

High speed computers don't like excessively-long wiring between components. I made the ribbon cables long because there were other boards I developed for this system. But, I'm only using the CPU board, the FPU + IDE mezzanine board, and the video generator board. All that extra wire is just making things more difficult.

A year ago, when I first put these three boards together, I had to bump the bus speed down to 25MHz to get it to run. I could run the CPU board up to 56MHz by itself, and I could get it to run with one expansion board or the other up to 40MHz, but with all three boards, 25MHz was the best I could do (out of the oscillators I had on hand). I have some 33MHz oscillators now, and while I could get it to run sometimes, it was obviously far more unstable.

It was time to trim those pretty little antennas.

I left room for one more card, in case I can get my DRAM card working later, but trimmed a few inches off. The result? Rock solid at 25MHz now.

... and at 32MHz.

... but 40MHz still doesn't run.

I am quite pleased with that result. My target for this system in the beginning was 25MHz. That extra 30% speed increase is very noticeable, especially when running a program like the Mandelbrot renderer.

But I had a thought.

My FPU is rated for 25MHz, and here it's running solid at 32MHz along with the rest of the system. But my FPU board was designed to support the FPU running at a separate clock speed from the rest of the system (the 68881/68882 FPU is actually designed to support this, so I implemented it when I built my mezzanine board).

What would happen if I tried running the FPU even faster? Perhaps using that 40MHz oscillator that I couldn't use for the complete system?

Surprisingly, not a problem running the CPU at 32MHz and the FPU at 40MHz.

... or 50MHz

... or 55MHz

... or 67MHz!

Once again, I've run out of faster oscillators. This computer is running stable with its FPU clocked at over two and a half times its rated speed.

The video above is a real-time capture of the VGA output of this machine running that Mandelbrot renderer (now modified to use 96-bit extended-precision floating-point arithmetic!) with the CPU & main bus clocked at 32MHz and the FPU clocked at 67MHz. Some frames take minutes to render. Some complete in as little as seven seconds.

I am in awe. While I had big dreams when I first started working on this project six years ago, I never could have imagined it running this well at that kind of speed. I am very happy with how this project has turned out so far, and can't quite believe I actually built something like this.

I typically wrap up these posts with a plan of where to take the project next, but the project has already exceeded my expectations. There is so much it is already capable of now that I have a permanent storage option available. I guess I could try getting that DRAM card running to expand the main memory beyond 2MB, or try adding a keyboard and some text routines to complement the video card. Both are good options towards getting a proper operating system running, which has always been a goal of the project.

Either way, I'm sure I'll have fun with it.

[maize-is-lost]

I've recently started working on a Pikmin AU story. Not quite done with the first chapter but I figured it would be fun to post what I've got so far.

-

There’s something funny about how different characters will start the same story. No matter how far apart they live, no matter how they were raised, no matter what they’re doing at the start, eventually they will all spin into the same yarn.

For Olimar, the story begins with an unexpected banging against the hull of the S.S. Dolphin as it flies through deep space. 

For Louie, the story begins when he’s called to the President’s office for an “imperative” mission.

A little over a month has passed since his coworker’s disappearance. At first he doesn’t realize anything’s wrong. Anyone who’s spent any time with Olimar knows how much the man loves his family; and while he loves his job, he often laments how it keeps him away from his wife and children. When he doesn’t come back from vacation on time, Louie just assumes the man had quit and moved on to better things. He wouldn’t have blamed him. The assumption explains why the President becomes more and more nervous in the following days. What it doesn’t explain is why Olimar’s wife keeps showing up at Hocotate Freight’s headquarters to yell at Louie’s boss.

His first thought is that maybe she was just that salty over how much her husband had been overworked these last few months. 

Then he realizes the S.S. Dolphin isn’t where it’s usually stored. Olimar loved that ship, but he definitely wasn’t making enough money to buy it off of the company.

There’s whispers of a lawsuit.

Or worse, an internal investigation.

The company must have hooked her up with some really good insurance though, because she stops coming around after a few weeks. Everyone who didn’t quit during the chaos breathes a sigh of relief. It’s pretty easy to move on after that, they just have to work a little harder while the company hires new workers to replace what they’ve lost. 

Not long after that, people start receiving The Transmission.

Yeah, capital “The,” capital “T.” It’s necessary.

Most people hear about it from, well, the news. Louie doesn’t watch the news, though. Instead, he gets called up to the President’s office.

“Louie, my boy, you remember Olimar, don’t you?” Louie nods. He’s never been the best at remembering faces, but he imagines he could pick Olimar out in a photo (as long as he was surrounded by people who looked nothing like Olimar. It had been almost two months since he’d last seen his coworker, after all). “I’m sure you’ve been worried sick ever since he disappeared, I know I have!” the President wipes a nonexistent tear from his eye. Louie tries to keep from rolling his.

“Anyway, some great news has just come in. Have you seen Space Broadcast Inc.’s latest report?” Louie shakes his head. The President picks up a remote and turns, switching on a large TV on the other side of the room. It flickers on to a news report narrated by a woman with a swoop of pink hair covering her face. “Looks like they’re showing it again,” the President chortles.

“Earlier today, several parties received a mysterious transmission from a previously undiscovered planet,” the pink haired woman reports from a spaceship launch site. “This transmission shook the stars when it was discovered that it was sent by a missing captain from Hocotate Freight.”

Louie’s stomach turns. It hasn’t escaped his notice that he’s the only person the President called. He doesn’t like where this is going.

The video of the pink haired woman changes to a split screen. One side shows Olimar’s work ID photo while the other side shows captions as the transmission plays.

“My name is Captain Olimar. I am a delivery pilot with Hocotate Freight. While traveling, I crash landed on an undetected planet. I have limited life support remaining and am unable to repair my ship. Please send help as soon as possible.”

This time, Louie can’t help but shiver at the voice that plays while his coworker’s face is on screen. The audio is crunchy, but he can tell that the speaker’s voice is a smooth baritone, like honey dripping off a spoon. It’s oddly calm given the situation that had been described. 

There’s one thing he knows for certain.

That wasn’t Olimar’s voice.

The two of them hadn’t spent much time together in the month after Louie started working at Hocotate Freight, but what time they had worked together had often been filled with Olimar’s anecdotes or analyses. The man filled the silence wherever he went. At the time, Louie hadn’t minded. Olimar never expected him to respond verbally like most other people did. He wouldn’t have minded working with Olimar longer, really. But either way, Louie had heard enough of Olimar’s voice to recognize it even after all this time. The voice in the video was similar, sure, but it wasn’t nearly as expressive as the Captain’s. And there was something about the tone, something he couldn’t place, that didn’t settle right in his stomach.

Louie opens his mouth to say something, but the President has been talking this whole time and doesn’t notice Louie’s poor attempt to interrupt.

“-anyway I read the data logs he sent with the message and it looks like this mysterious planet is full of treasure! Enough to pull us out of debt and keep us out of the red for decades! So as soon as I heard other crews were heading to that planet I decided that I’d send you, one of my best workers, to find Olimar and track down that treasure!”  

Louie leaves the office with a mission and a newfound sense of dread. He doesn’t have long before he’s expected to leave, and there’s no telling when he’ll be back. He needs to pack. He needs to call his grandmother.

What are you supposed to say to someone when you don’t know if you’ll come home alive?

(Update: second part has been posted)

[cubedmango]

hi!! i just wanted to let you know that i started reading cherry magic in july last year after seeing the anime announced on toyota-sensei's twitter! i couldn't even rlly translate the announcement myself without the help of google translate LMAO but her illustration of them looked so sweet i had to snoop around. more than half a year later. i am no longer normal and my brain is fully rotted over and i think of those two nearly every waking moment!! your art, along with so many others feeds me and your translations are So Appreciated thank you for doing gods work. i usually don't get super involved in fandom or w/e other than consuming fanart or fics so the fact i find myself actually drawing them is so new to me...idk cherry magic really is so refreshing and it's just nice as an adult to see a mature relationship between two working adults. there are callbacks to childhood or childlike behaviors or interests sprinkled throughout the manga's dialogue and i always appreciated how they weren't seen as embarrassing or immature to embrace or learn from as an adult, but encouraged or seen as a valuable part of balancing work, life, and love. idk it's def one of the more subtle and less expanded upon parts of it but i love how adachi's and kurosawa's love of manga, though seen as a children's activity (from how kurosawa thought people saw it) was actually one of their first mutual hobbies. it's also interesting to see how many things about kurosawa's psyche are remnants of ideas probably for a lack of better wording, were taught to him from an early age. his self-image, how he tries to uphold certain societal standards, etc etc. im glad he found refuge in adachi that way. im sorry for rambling for so long but i've just been thinking about these two so much ldks

anon pls u never have to apologize for rambling abt my fav guys of all time, u should actually talk w me about them more i want to hear ur thoughts !! the eng speaking fandom isnt that big (or at least i dont get to interact w a lot of ppl personally) but its fun making art and doing the translations for my blorbos so im happy other ppl enjoy it too 🥺

and yess everything u said abt the childlike/immature stuff krdc enjoy like the fact that their interest in manga and stuff is never made fun of or anything (which would be ironic anyway since theyre In a manga themselves fdkjskf) but actually one of the things that gets them closer is So good augh?? (also spoilers for the radio drama if u havent seen it yet, but to me one of the best changes they made was changing the port scenes setting to an anime con instead like Yeah!! theyre little nerd guys of course theyd attend a con!!!! that plus how they both like watching animated movies and playing games too like its a very specific thing to Me but that relatability w stuff i do myself makes them both feel a lot more human? if that makes sense)

also w kurosawas whole deal its Definitely a longterm thing hes had for a while, and in canon its mostly been his friendships/relationships that affected him (probs the most clear in ch45 my beloved) but from the way the meeting w his parents went theres for sure a lot of parental/family pressure involved too?? this is going into hc territory but i have like a whole Thing brewing in my head about kurosawas and maris relations w their parents and how that affected their self image and all growing up too and i rlly wanna make stuff for it someday (idk if anyone would be interested but id probably do it regardless so fkdjksjfk)

[kitoral]

your art is immediately one of my new favorite things. i am politely begging for a timelapse/speeddraw one of these days from you, so we can observe your process? i haven't really tried grayscale to color painting before and the results from your art is breathtaking. id also adore prints of your work if you ever consider it!

hi there,

i will have to look into making a speedpaint one of these days, as i agree that it would be helpful. i often refer questions to this post, as its the most in-depth discussion of my process. however, i also understand that this isn't exactly specific, or helpful for those who'd like more details.

i've also thought about doing prints as well. right now i'm looking into what site(s)/services would be the best. charms and/or stickers may be a possibility as well, so stay tuned :3

thank you again, and my apologizes for the late reply!

[cannibal-nightmares]

probably ssmi-disturbjng nonsensical vent ramble because I can't sleep

thinking about how i van get free councilling from the local college from to-be shrinks in training--thinking abt how id be some college yuppies pipedream (or nightmare), a schizo in the flesh. i donf actually restrict defining myself as schizophrenic, but-sorry-the things I need therapy for agitate me so bad, I'll admit it, and I'd want a seasoned professional if I want to get anywhere beyond teaching someone like a lab rat; thats not lack of compliance, its self-awarness. tbh I will actually probably try this route but i also know too clear the reality.

the reason I care about this at all all of a sudden is: I've reallized just what it's going to look like. i need help i do i want to see these doctors and i *have* do you hear me i *have* and I've *tried* and I *continue* to try; I've let them poke at me and ask questions and drag me along--each time, whether they notice it or not, whether it becomes morethanclear, whether I noticed in the moment and say it out loud or if I keep it to myself or if I realize it afterwards, each time i hear overwhelming voices and see stuff. I learned recently rhat my last doc wrote almost a mini psych eval at each meet we had, and in her notes, on each day, she wrote something like "patient is calm, not anxious" etc, but did you know every time I saw her, the room would melt and it was so distractinf. jve had docs get annoyed with me for carrying around a list or script but man I can't remember anything or form any words when everything around me is sinking into the floor. this is all to say, this is all to say, if I want my medical help to be successful, I need someone in my corner to say, "Hey, he might be schizo but please god listen to him," and learne better coping skills even though my current skills are so off the shits at this point that I ended up teaching my last,shrink from a year ago new things aaahhh I just need it in writing that I am not dangerous they all have gotten so scared of me when it's just me who's terrfied of them and forces beyond fhem.

it's a long long story at this point but they're trying to refer me to a neurologist again. which *is* what my original goal was (because thats where my original pcp had me). and I *will* follow through if the path leads there. but. i have so many physical problems now I (also?) want them to redo a general exam. tbh I kinda thought thatsnwhere they'd restart.these people don't know me at all. eleven minutes, she spoke to me for 11 minutes. when I had a regular pcp, one ofnthe *first* things I mwntipned was a weird pain in my left side right behind my bottom ribs. it was dull an inconsistent but I told her. she poked at it, etc, ans told me, quote--I will never forget this--"there's not really much over there that this could be." nothing? oh really nothing? is there just a void in my abdomen over there? im saying this because it's still a problem. ofc it's only gotten worse. it's sharp and it moves around tjat general area. and it wakes me up and scares me. why did they leave me to the wayside why am I still here. I feel like that is/was such an easy look-at than all of my nerve problems and yet? also I repeated myself every time I saw her that it was still an,issue. "it's too expensive to--" ok money means nothing to me if I'm dead. if this was a little thing that has exploded into life or death, I'm going to lose my mind.

im convinced im a dead man walking. I don't think im actively dead, but that im good as dead. my second best plan of action is to wait for the jnsurance market to open november 1st, my first best plan is only the best if I get the gamble and the timing right--high risk high reward. ill be honest, I've thought about walking into an er and admitting myself but they're going to focus on the wrong thing; the social worker I saw recentlyn was concerned for my mental health, sure, but she was more concerned and angry for me that my physical issues have been strung along from day one. if I'm not already insane, fhis is going to drive me to the edge. it already has. ill admit I've thought about doing stupid reckless things to land me somewhere closer to where I need to be. thisnsystem is going to eat me Alive I know it; the best case scenario is in 10 years (if I live thatclong) I will look back on all of this as an embarrassingly funny memory.

fheres *one* thing I haven't mentioned to a single soul yet but it's because idk how. it's like a beast in cage that hasn't realized the door is open yet. I have some major delusions around *it* and idk how to face it alone. but I also don't knownhow to invite anyone into this world. thisnis also why I wouldn't mind a shrink. byt I'm a special case aren't I? I hate it. I don't want to be special. I literally sound like a TV stereotype don't I.

I'm shooting blind shots in the dark at this point why are people mad at me that nothing is landing? I have this constant g overwhelming feeling of I want to go home. i want a hug and i want to go home. There is no physical home is there im in my room rn and I want to go home it's pathetic at this point. I didn't wait. do you hear me? I didn't. I've been in this since the end of 2021. where are we? why didn't they listen to me? I keep finding myself asking that. I know thisnwhole thing is just me repeating myself but there is literally nothing else I can do rn. all I can rn is wait for my nurse to reply back to me. my nerves are on fire and they keep waking me up as cruel reminders. I just want to go home. I am selfishly tired of being the strong one at work. why is it always me? selfishly, why? in one breath im the crazy untrustable young schizo and in the next breath I am the battering ram, the pillar, the mediator, the steady voice of reason. verstehst?? "mad is the man forced to feel the emotion he is forbidden to have at the same time." I,dont wanf to talk about it, I just want to go home.

"I slide off the spectrum, I don't fall anywhere. I'm not counting errors."

[fluffypotatey]

But consider: Asides from being impatient, Nine couldn't afford to wait any longer. "I've been gone a long time." "What does that mean?" "It means he's winning." Whoever this "big bad" is, he's winning by keeping Nine away from the Chaos. When we visited there, it was a whole temple. Dude is like Helios on his island of cows, he NEEDS to be there. He did the kindest thing he arguably could for MK, both because time was of the essence, (everything related to destiny was happening right now. Wukong looking for a successor, Macaque's revival, LBD making her move, the reincarnation of the pilgrims, etc.) and because waking MK up 50 years before the cycle ends would mean his stone egg would be fully baked. He'd exit as an adult rather than a kid capable of being adopted by Pigsy to live his life. There would just be a shell of a person meant to be the harbinger of chaos, with no personality of his own. Shout out to the person who said that's what the trials were designed to do, to speedrun development of empathy and a personality for the harbinger to sacrifice himself.

Whoever this "big bad" is, he's winning by keeping Nine away from the Chaos.

is he? or was he winning because he got Nines antsy enough to go back to the Chaos beyond? we only got that line to introduce us to our new big bad. “He’s winning” can mean a lot of things. maybe it means “he” has tried to keep Nines away for too long, but Nines does not look upset about the he guy. his beef is with Nuwa

When we visited there, it was a whole temple.

are we sure that is Nines’ temple? and what would he need a temple there for? it’s in the CHAOS! i highly doubt there’s worshipping in there. i honestly thought that “temple” was an entrance into the Chaos beyond. it is the gates, the border of the “cage” so to speak. yeah, sure it had the image of two snakes like yin and Yang but are one of those snakes actually Nines?

there is just a lot about him we do not know and what we were given contradicts each other. i am sure, Nines acted with what he felt was the best course scenario for MK and himself, but that still doesn’t stop his character from being confusing

also, when i said 50 years, i meant; after he woke MK up early, Nines could wait until MK lives 50 years as a mortal. at the very least. like out of all the villains MK would face over the years, Nines could at least have the decency to be kind about it since he does care about MK having his freedom of choice.

and like, 50 isn’t that bad for a human. you may have bad joints now or a fixed sleep schedule, but it id still an age for a character to end the world. Pigsy seems close to his 50s (he reads as 45 to me) and still wields a giant rake!

but obviously, we would have a different dilema with 50 year old mortal MK. he might not be as traumatized about killing himself and communicate his fears (the horror!)

but that’s not my point. my point is that Nines is an immortal chaos being who lived before lmk’s canon cycle and so he sees time differently. one year is not a long time for him, or it shouldn’t be. so why did he only give MK the chance to live less than a quarter of his life and then need to decide if he should kill himself for the cycle or let the cycle end.

[yanderes-galore]

Hi! Can I request Freddy Krueger from the original Nightmare on elm street? Maybe like a chase scenario in the reader’s dreams? Id also like to request from your recent prompts vol 1 #44: “your tongue is so sharp…wouldn’t it be a shame if I had to silence it?” (But only if it’s doable for you! ^^’)

I hope your day is going well! Much love and good wishes to you! ❤️

Yeah! Let's be honest, this version of Kruegar is one of the best ^^ Probably OOC, I am so sorry if it is.

Yandere! Freddy Krueger Prompt 44

"Your tongue is so sharp... wouldn't it be a shame if I had to silence it?"

Pairing: Romantic (Barely)

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Torture, Blood, Graphic descriptions, Removal of tongue, Insomnia, Wishes for death, Sadism, Mostly just for horror, Implied drug use.

It kept getting worse, you were never able to get a good night's sleep. Your dreams recently kept contorting into twisted realities of blood and steam. You always woke up, hyped on adrenaline before being more tired than before.

You blamed it on the recent murder cases within Springwood. The fear caused by the news must be affecting your dreams. It didn't help you always hallucinated due to the lack of sleep-

It felt like people whispered in your ear when no one was there. You even see silhouettes of a man with a bladed hand. It's just... sleep deprivation, that's all!

You tried to ignore it when said hallucinations talk to you...

The therapist you go to now keeps trying to give you sleep medication...

Yet you don't think it's safe to sleep.

In fact, the last time you tried to sleep, you were traumatized. The last time you slept you were sent to the boiler room again, met face to face with a man covered in burn scars. A sinister grin is on his face, bladed hand caressing your skin.

"I've been waiting for when you'd take a nap. Now the fun begins...!"

By the time you managed to wake yourself up, momentarily escaping his grasp, the damage was done. Your body was clawed... blood seeping into your clothes. These were not ordinary nightmares...

This was something supernatural.

From that point on, you refused to consider sleeping. You did whatever you could to fight such an urge. You abused whatever substance you could get your hands on....

In the end it was a futile effort, due to the mind shutting down during micro naps.

You were doomed since the moment he had his eyes on you.

"Finally gave in, did you? Thought you'd miss me~"

You could only run for so long. Even in a dream, it felt real enough to make you heave for breath due to your stamina. The boiler room was like a maze, trapping you in with a monster.

The end was inevitable. Like a cornered rabbit, you would find a dead end. Forced to accept your fate at the sharp hands of a killer.

One that seemed too real to be conjured from your mind.

"Is my little rabbit tired from running?"

You glare at him, looking for some other way of escape. Upon touching the boiler room's pipes, you yelp. Your hands are burned... was this even a dream?

"I'm not your rabbit..." You snarl. "I'd never be yours."

"What makes you so sure, (Y/N)?"

He knows your name....

"I'd never allow myself to be near anyone like you..." You seethe, anger from your lack of sleep soaking your words. "You've tortured me for the past few months... why would I roll over and comply to whatever you wish after that!?"

"If your life's on the line, it's surprising what you'd do."

The man in front of you spits back, looking irritated at your sudden rebellion... yet interested.

"My dear (Y/N)..."

You blink and the demon's right in front of you. You gasp, senses heightened due to your lack of sleep. He takes this to his advantage, holding your mouth open by your chin.

"Your tongue is so sharp... wouldn't it be a shame if I had to silence it?"

You struggle against him, still trying to fight back. You nearly gag when he reaches his hand into your mouth... pulling your tongue painfully tight into his view. You shake your head with your eyes wide in fear.

"Good, your fear is delightful. You're more obedient than you think.... Too bad it won't save your tongue."

He slowly drags his blades against the twitching muscle in his hand. You try to pull back, fighting him. Tears prick your eyes... which only fuels his sadistic desires.

"Oh, want to leave so soon? Fine then, have it your way, baby."

There's a sickening wet snap before you feel yourself fall to the floor. His blades are coated in your blood, a laugh leaving his lips at your condition. You barely registered what happened until blood pooled out of your mouth.

Something then slaps onto the ground, your shaking gaze shifting towards it.

Your tongue.

The madman removed your tongue as promised.

"Anymore complaints, (Y/N)?"

The demon watches you spit continuous blood onto the floor before lifting your chin up to look him in the eyes.

What did you do to deserve this?

You gurgle softly, unable to speak.

"Speak up, won't you?"

He leans back and laughs at your suffering before dragging you up to your feet.

"It's upsetting to not hear your screams... but at least you can't refuse what I have in store for you, baby...."

As if to mock you, he licks his lips. You're in too much shock to respond to his sadism. You only silently wonder if your suffering will end soon.

If you're lucky, maybe you'll bleed out...

Then you won't have to suffer through anymore of his desires.

[elizmanderson]

2023 wrap-up, part 4

click here for part 1 | click here for part 2 | click here for part 3

pole fitness

aka my new obsession

shortly before my debut novel released, I went to a showcase at a friend's dance studio. the studio has a lot of body diversity, so the pole dances included lots of plus size women looking sexy and confident as hell, which had me feeling like "damn I want that"

afterward, I told my friend I was thinking about trying pole aaaaaaaaaand she immediately bought me a drop-in class so I had to stop thinking and skip to trying lol

I'm grateful for that, because honestly? that's what I needed. I'm convinced I would've tried it eventually, but it would've taken at least another six months of waffling

video ID: a young white person in glasses, a teal tank top, and red booty shorts, with dark hair in a bun, walking around a pole and pulling themself up onto the pole so they look like they're sitting in an invisible chair beside it. she straightens her legs, turns her body, and pulls her legs back up so now she's going backwards in the invisible chair. finally, they swing their legs around straight on either side of the pole and let go with one hand before swinging off the pole. music is Vanessa Carlton's Thousand Miles. end ID.

p.s. you can't tell in the video but there is text on my tank top over the left breast that says "stet for voice, bitch"

anyway, I've been doing pole for about eight months now and I just *anime fist clench* love it so much oh my god. it's the first sport I've ever loved, the first workout I've ever been determined to get to rather than looking for excuses to skip it, and this is the best about my body I've probably ever felt.

and I have a community at the studio! like I went to the holiday party and I wasn't sure about it because I didn't think my friend would be there, but I made some new friends and had a great time ♥

click here to see more pole videos on my instagram. officially, it's my author instagram. unofficially, I'm far more consistent in posting weekly pole videos than I am in posting book stuff lolol

[zegrvshvghes]

Cheater, liar, whatever it was or wasn’t it’s over now-NH13

I also do not and would never think that nico is a cheater it’s just for the plot don’t get mad freaks.😛

As I sit here in my empty apartment, tears streaming down my face, I can't help but feel like the biggest fool in the world. How could I have been so blind? How could I have trusted Nico so completely, only to have him betray me in the worst way possible?

I remember the day I discovered his infidelity like it was yesterday. It was a Tuesday, and I had gotten off work early because I wasn't feeling well. I decided to surprise Nico with lunch at his house, thinking it would be a nice pick-me-up for both of us. But what I walked in on was a scene straight out of a nightmare.

There he was, hunched over his kitchen table, his lips locked with a woman I didn't recognize. At first, I thought it was some kind of mistake, that maybe they were just joking around. But then I saw the way Nico's hands were roaming all over her body, and I knew in an instant that there was nothing innocent about what was going on.

I didn't even wait for them to notice me before I turned and ran out of the room, my vision blurred by tears. I don't remember much of what happened after that – just snippets of Nico's voice on the phone, begging me to come back, and me screaming at him, telling him I never wanted to see him again.

The days that followed were a blur of pain and heartache. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even bring myself to leave the house. I just sat there, staring at the walls, wondering how I was ever going to move on from the man who had once been my everything.

And now here I am, a month later, still reeling from the aftershocks of Nico's betrayal. I've tried to keep busy, to distract myself with work and friends, but it's always there, nagging at the back of my mind. The nights are the worst – I lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling, imagining Nico with that other woman, wondering how many times he'd done it before I caught him.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly weak, I'll pick up the phone and dial Nico's number. He always answers, his voice thick with regret and apologies, but I can never bring myself to say anything. Part of me wants to forgive him, to go back to the way things were before, but the other part knows that I could never trust him again, not after what he did.

I try to tell myself that it's his loss, that he's the one who messed up and lost the best thing that ever happened to him, but it's hard to internalize that when all I feel is the crushing weight of betrayal. How could he do this to me? Didn't he know how much I loved him, how much I trusted him?

And the worst part of it all is knowing that, no matter how much I try to move on, how many new relationships I try to forge, that betrayal will always be a part of me. It will always be lurking in the back of my mind, whispering doubts and fears into my ear. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to fully trust anyone again, not after what Nico did to me.

But for now, all I can do is pick up the pieces and try to move on. It's not easy, and some days it feels impossible, but I know that eventually I'll be able to heal, to find someone who deserves my love and trust. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to forgive Nico, even if I can never forget what he did to me.

id get back with nico if he cheated on me a million times i would not care