#i've said this once and I'll say it again

[nsharks]

bleeding blue | apocalypse au

part twenty-four —other parts

pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader words: 3k tags: death. blood. cannibalism mention. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn’t here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival. a/n: ily

England passes in beautiful shades of green, the last time you'll see it, so you soak it in. Rolling hills streak the landscape like scars. In the distance, you glimpse faded architecture, imagining people living and working there. An ivy-covered university appears, and you picture yourself dozing off in a lecture. These little fantasies entertain you for the next two hours, but Blue isn't distracted by the same game. When you look at her arm, you notice pink scratches just below where the friendship bracelet hugs her wrist, made by her nails mindlessly.

You tear your eyes from the window and nudge your shoulder against hers. "Hey. What do you call a cow with no legs?"

Her lips twitch at the broken silence and she lifts her azure eyes to yours, a bead of sunlight catching in them. "What?"

"Ground beef."

Those eyes roll. "That's stupid."

Nereida smiles from the other side of her. "Oh, I've got one. What did the ocean say to the beach?"

Blue sighs. "Ghost said that one before. Nothing—it just 'waved'."

A recoil passes over Nereid's kind eyes. "I apologize. That's the only one I know."

Quiet air fills the space again, and when you notice Blue's nails dig back into her wrist, you gently lace your fingers through hers and pull her hand to your lap, allowing her to scratch your thigh, instead. 

When an old theme park erects from the grass, Blue's interest piques. "Woah. What is that?"

"None of it works anymore," Ghost mutters, one hand on the wheel.

"It looks cool, though. I have to pee, anyway. Can we stop here?"

"I could use a little stretch for my legs," Nereida adds.

The pitstop is brief enough to allow Blue the chance to curiously look through the decrepit bumper cars, carousel, and even a small rollercoaster that still has the car sitting mid-track. She grabs Ari's hand to show him, but he doesn't seem as intrigued given the pale look on his face. He ends up rushing to a bush and keeling over.

"The back gets a bit bumpy," Kyle says when he notices your expression. "He'll be fine."

"I'll switch with him for the rest of the way."

"You don't have to."

"It's fine. He can probably entertain Blue better than I can."

Everyone uses the small break to eat a little lunch. You already had some of the beans Ghost packed, so you feel uncertain whether you should eat anymore of his food. You haven't even discussed sharing. Rather, you ration the jerky you made and save the rest. 

It is a small meal, so you eat it slowly to trick your stomach into feeling full. Just before getting back to the truck, you spot a tree by the entrance to Kettering Kastle. Hickory. Paul told you once they make for great arrows, a softer hardwood. Pliable yet strong. This excites you. Your sheath is only half-full, so you grab your serrated knife and cut a few midsized branches to take with you.

Sitting in the truck bed is far from pleasant. The tail wind makes it hard to breathe, and you have to grab the side of the truck to keep yourself from flying out. Kyle notices your struggle and seems amused, but reaches an arm over in offering. You hold onto him and it does some to keep you stable. 

The motorway passes through Kettering, which is a smaller city. The smell is retched, though the only Greys you spot don't take notice to you, trapped between buildings and toppled telephone poles. You make out a sign that reads A14 and figure it is headed to Cambridge. If you continue this pace, you'll reach the coastline by sundown.

Of course, things don't work out that way. The road becomes more obstructed with abandoned vehicles. Ghost has to weave through them like a maze, wasting time and fuel. The sun crawls higher in the sky. Finally, there are a few kilometers of straight road. Speed ticks up only to come to an abrupt halt when he reaches an underpass. You let go of Kyle and stand up to see what has caused the stop—a semi truck completely blocks the way through it.

"Jesus," you mutter.

Consecutive slams of the fronts doors indicate Price and Ghost are checking it out. Kyle hops out with them. After a few minutes, he returns and explains with a sigh, "We'll have to backtrack and find a side street that will lead to another motorway ramp."

"That's going to eat time. The sun will set soon."

He offers his arm again as Ghost begins reversing. "I know. It's fine, we'll just get to the water tomorrow. No rush, yeah?"

It adds an extra hour and a half. The sky turns a remarkable orange that would've had you gawking if not for your irritation of having to stop again. Ghost pulls over just before it gets too dark to set up the tents in a small market town called Haverhill. There's hardly anything here except fields of bright, yellow flowers and little shops with slanted CLOSED signs. It is actually pleasant and well-preserved, until you catch the distinguishable shape of a corpse hanging from one of the telephone poles, a black trash bag over its head.

"Don't look at it."

"Nothing I haven't seen before," you dismiss under your breath. 

A more forested patch of land at the edge of the town is where you make camp for the night.

They eat canned goods and you finish your last pieces of jerky. This means you'll have to find more food for yourself tomorrow, or ask Ghost for some. The thought makes you anxious. The last thing you want is to seem like an extra burden. Dead weight that they'd be better off leaving behind. But he also didn't comment when you ate the beans. The uncertainty of where you stand means you need to make yourself useful.

The men need rest, so you offer to keep watch.

Prices dismisses you. "You don't have to, Twix. The three of us can take turns."

"No, really. I'll keep watch and you guys can all get more sleep. I've just been sitting in a car all day, anyway."

He gives in, visibly fatigued after being up over twenty-four hours.

Ghost and Price sleep first.

That leaves you sitting with Kyle when the stars begin to flicker like bright, little heartbeats against the black night.

You pull out your smoother knife—the one you found back at that base—to carve the sticks you found, careful of your bandaged thumb. 

Kyle lays his rifle across his lap. "First time I am seeing you smile today and it's while carving sticks." 

"Arrows," you correct, holding one up and tapping your index lightly against the sharpened point. "And it's good wood. Hickory."

"You're an easy woman to please," he teases.

"My tastes have changed over the years."

"Really? I can't imagine you as one of those people who cared too much about nice things."

You flash him a raised brow. "Are you saying I was cheap?"

He nudges your knee. "Not what I'm saying. You just seem like someone who would prefer a little movie date over a fancy dinner."

"I liked sushi. Is that fancy?"

He hums. "There were some good cheap sushi spots in London—hole in the wall type places. When there was some kid doing their homework at one of the booths, that's when you knew it'd be good shit."

"You're making me hungry."

"Well, you should've eaten more." He looks at you knowingly. "You're scared to ask anyone for food, aren't you?"

Are you really that easy to read? You place the half-finish arrow across your knees and look at the ground, brushing your fingers absentmindedly through the soft grass. "I just—I am aware of my place here."

"Your place?"

Your hands tightens the grass into a fistful. "I am at the bottom."

"The bottom," he repeats slowly, and his voice lowers. "You really think that?"

You rip the grass and sprinkle it over your boot, glancing up at him. His eyes have darkened, or maybe they are simply mirroring the sky. "I am not complaining. I understand that everyone here has others who they would prefer to keep alive over me, that's all. I just don't want to stick out anymore than I already do."

He reels in your words. "You're forgetting that everyone here has their own perspective, their own wants. It is not as simple as you're making it seem." In a change of topic, he reaches for the arrow on your lap. "Here—let me help."

You hand him the knife and he begins carving expertly as a few minutes of silence ensue. You are lost in your thoughts, keeping your eyes on the surroundings, when he suddenly stops in his handiwork, holding up the knife. You watch him study the leather handle carefully, shake his head to himself, then look at you.

"Where did you get this?"

"Huh? Oh—I found it. At a military base actually."

Your answer seems to strike him, and he releases a disbelieving exhale. "The one near Manchester?"

You nod. 

"It was my brother's."

What?

Reading your expression, he shows you the handle and rubs his thumb over a small etching at the bottom that you can barely make out in the moonlight: PG.

"Patrick Garrick," he explains in a murmur, and your chest tightens. "I didn't even notice it at first. It's been years since I had it. The last time...the last time was when shit happened, and I lent it to a friend of mine at the base."

"Who?"

"Soap," he says, a memory taking over his expression as he rubs his jaw. "He was the other member of our spec ops unit."

"You... Someone mentioned him before. Ghost—he asked you guys about him when you arrived. You don't know what happened to him, right?"

Kyles nods. "He stayed back at the base to keep helping even when Price and I jumped ship. That was the Scottish in him—stubborn as hell. Soap was just his codename, of course. Like mine was Gaz." He looks up at you with a faint dimple. "And yours is Twix, huh?"

"I guess." You press your tongue to your teeth and grab the knife, frowning at it as you try to recall exactly where you grabbed it from. "What was his real name, then?"

"John MacTavish."

"I think—I think your friend is dead. I'm sorry." You gaze at him. "I remember now. I found it in one of the rooms, and there was a skeleton with that name. He... he had it quick, though."

The expression on his typically warm eyes turns unreadable and his shoulders stiffen in the slightest. You wonder if you should have bothered sharing this, but then he shrugs it off with a sigh. "It's okay. Figured as much. Many people have died. He's just another name to the list."

Instinct draws your hand to his shoulder, and the muscles softens beneath your touch. "I'm still sorry."

His eyes find yours. 

He smiles solemnly.

Then, somewhere in it all, he leans over and closes the gap. The sudden, foreign feel of lips pressed against your own stuns you. His lips move gently, cold and soft against yours, and only when he threads a hand through your hair to pull you closer do you fully register what he is doing. Your eyes fly open and you break away, leaping to your feet.

"Why did you—what was that?"

He stands up with you. "It felt right in the moment."

He tries to touch your shoulder but you flinch away. "I'm sorry. I just—I was just trying to comfort you."

"I misread the moment." His eyes are clouded. "So you didn't want it?"

Did you? Your mind feels fuzzy. "I don't know. I need to...I want to be alone right now."

You grab your knife and sticks, rushing around the tents to find solace by the truck, needing to process what just happened. As you move, you bump into a hard chest—Ghost. Somehow you failed to hear the jagged teeth of the tent's zipper. Avoiding his gaze, you try to slip past, but he grips your elbow, holding you in place.

"What is it?"

The lie wedges out of your lips. "Nothing. I just—thought I saw something so I am going to sit over there and keep an eye out."

The difference in height leads to his stare burning into your scalp. "What did you see?" 

"I don't know. Something. Maybe just an animal."

His hold doesn't soften. Stoicism forces itself on your face as you press your lips into a line.

You're easy to ready.

He finally lets go. "I'll take over now. You can sleep."

You find yourself nodding soundlessly, internally glad to be relieved of this duty. 

Sleep offers peace of mind, at least until morning. 

Dawn breaks over the small town in a quiet clatter of spoons against cans and the shuffling of bags being packed up. The dream you wake up from was one of an old life—the last kiss you experienced. But it fizzles quickly from the recesses of your brain the moment your lids shutter open. 

Both you and Kyle seem keen on acting as though nothing happened. More than anything, you are confused. You try to search inside that box of yours for how you feel, but all you find is fear. You've barely been able to keep up with the fear. You busy yourself with helping get everything back in the truck, fitting the supplies like a jigsaw puzzle. You have nothing to eat. A day or two without food is doable until you can properly hunt for something—

"Here."

It is Nereida who catches you by the truck before leaving. She practically shoves a can of tuna into your hands and you look up at her in hesitant gratitude.

"We're all sharing food," she says. "That is how it should be."

"Thank you. Really, this is—"

"Don't thank me. There is plenty for everyone."

For now, your mind chides, but you swallow the thought while scarfing down the meal you pretend is London's finest sushi. 

Once everyone is ready, you head to the back of the truck, expecting an awkward encounter with Kyle, only to find Ghost sitting there beside the kayak, hands relaxed behind his head.

"What are you doing?"

"Needed a break from driving."

You glance at the front to see that Price is behind the wheel, and Kyle is in the passenger side. In a way, you're relieved. You breathe through your nose and hoist yourself up. The bumpy ride is quiet at first. His body takes up space so that each pothole nudges your shoulder or knee against his. The morning ages. You swear you can see there coast at one point, but it must be your imagination, because the passing sign reads Halstead. 

"You really need to work on lying better."

The brash accent registers low against the hum of the engine, and his eyes are closed when you look over. He is leaned back, one leg straight and one bent, seeming to enjoy the seat more than you are. 

"Fine. I'm bad at lying."

"Care to share the truth, then?"

He needn't elaborate for you to know what he is referring to. "I was...I was upset because I found out my knife—the one I took from the base—belonged to Kyle's brother."

His brow ticks.

You continue, "But he actually gave it to Soap, and I—I found his dog tag on a skeleton. John MacTavish. You were friends with him, weren't you?"

His eyes open, but they are too murky to decipher from just his profile. His jaw flexes. "I wasn't a man with friends, Twix."

"You know what I mean."

There is a pause, and then, "He was a sergeant under my command. A good man. Grating, at times. But good."

"Well, I'm sorry he didn't make it. If you of all people say he was a good guy, then he really must've been."

He hums in agreement. Thoughtful. Then—two gloved fingers touch your jaw, turning your eyes to his. "You are still lying, and still bad at it."

You wet your lips. "I wasn't—"

"Help!"

Ghost drops your chin and grabs the gun from his waist.

Your eyes flash around at the sound of a second plea. There is a man at the side of the road, leg draped in bloodied bandages, but there isn't a chance for you to register more of him when the truck takes a sudden, sharp left down a side street and you brace yourself by grabbing the edge with both arms. The small city-scape whirls by in a blur. Ghost swears under his breath, scanning the area as he bends on one knee and keeps the gun secure in his grip. Confused, you grab his arm.

"That man was injured."

His voice is harsh and alert. "He has fucking friends somewhere here. He was just trying to—"

A shattering sound. An audible pop. You're thrown against the truck bed even harder this time as it skids across the street, nearly slamming into a flipped-over car. Ghost covers you, the weight of him keeping you from flying out. The truck swerves to a halt. Everything is black until his weight lifts. He barks an order, jumps out, and pulls you with him.

Pressed against the side of the truck, the world becomes consumed by loud sounds and the distinct smell of gunpowder. Ghost rips open the passenger door and urgently pulls Blue, Ari, and Nereida out, ordering them to keep low. From the other side, you hear Price and Kyle shouting, followed by another series of gunshots.

[melbrewer367]

Cleaning Up San Myshuno with S4S

If you're having this issue where items aren't being cleaned up in San Myshuno, this tutorial can help clean it up!

Crin shared a tutorial over on Bluesky but, it's originally in German and not very straightforward so I've rewritten it here so it's a bit more step-by-step for people who may not have as much experience with S4S.

For this tutorial, you'll need to know the specific item names the game uses so first, here's how to find those. Open S4S, click "Object" on the main screen.

Now you'll filter by Category and Game Pack. I just wrote down some terms on a notepad to use later. Here's what you need to focus on though...all of the items spawned are from base game and City Living. They're all lights, chairs, sofas, and decor. Then there's also plants and food. I'm not going to do all of the different things, I'm just going to do one to show you what you need, they're similar enough you can find the rest.

So say we want the sofa names, we'll filter for Comfort, Sofa, and Base Game. Hover over the item to see it's full name.

The part of the name that I've outlined is what you need to make a note of. If you hover over all of them you'll see that they all have "sitSofa" in common, this is the piece you actually want to write down for later. Some others we'll need are lightFloor, sitLiving, sitDining, lightTable, foodPlate, foodBowl, foodFestival, foodGrip, and PlantBush. (I've only done Spice District so far, there may be additional terms for the other neighborhoods.)

On to cleaning San Myshuno now!

First things first, make a copy of your save file and paste it somewhere else so you have a backup, just in case!!

On the main screen of S4S, click the "My Projects" button. On the selection screen that opens, change the file type to .save in the lower right, navigate to your save folder, and choose your save file, and open.

Now, in the upper left, type in "data" and click filter, and then click the "Type" header to sort alphabetically. This is just to make it easier to find the piece we actually want which is the "Save Game Data" line. Click on it once to select it.

On the right hand side, scroll all the way to the bottom. Next to "zones" click the "Edit Items" button.

Now you need to search for your lot name. This part may be a bit of a trial and error. I chose the apartment lot that I had been playing and it didn't have the data I was looking for. The one I ended up needing was the 20 Culpepper lot. I'll explain how to know if you've picked the right one or not later on. For now, you'll type in your lot name in the filter box, select the line for it, and then scroll all the way down on the right hand side. We just need to copy the "zone_id" number.

Once you've copied this number, you can close the screen and return to the previous screen. Now, where we had "data" in the filter, we now want to paste the zone ID we just copied and filter for that instead. Now you'll select the "Zone Object Data" line that shows in the results. On the right hand side, scroll to the bottom again, and now you'll click "Edit Items" next to "objects" near the bottom.

On the next screen, you should see "ObjectList" on the left hand side. If you don't, this is what I was referring to earlier when I said you may not get the right lot on the first try. Yes, you may have chosen the correct lot that you were playing but, the object data we're looking for might not be tied to it. If that happens, you'll just need to try another lot in that neighborhood and keeping going until you find the one that does have the ObjectList. Once you have the correct one, you're going to click "Edit Items" on the right hand side.

Now this is the part where your patience is going to be tested. This is going to be very time consuming. It has to load a lot of data and therefore takes a lot of time loading the list, a lot of time filtering, etc. Just be patient.

In the filter box on the left hand side, you're going to start typing in keywords to find the items we want to remove from the neighborhood. I highly suggest typing your term somewhere else, and then copy and pasting it because the filter will begin to work as soon as you start typing and take way longer since it's going letter by letter. You're going to filter using the item names we found earlier.

I'm not going to lie, after filtering for my term, I've just been selecting all and then removing them and not taking the time to make sure every single item in that term result list is one of the items sitting in my neighborhood. I'm not sure the full extent of what is affected by this zone data so that's maybe not the best choice but, the apartment zone ID I'm using is an apartment I don't play so even if it's removing items from the apartment itself, I don't care. I also haven't seen this remove any of the world items that are supposed to be there all of the time. This is why we made a backup though! Be smart. Try your own path and then put your backup file back in your game instead if anything breaks. To select all though, just select one line, hit ctrl+a on your keyboard, and then click the remove button. Now, you'll paste your next search term in and repeat until you've gone through all of your terms. Again, this can be time consuming. Just be patient. Once you're done, click "Save" in the lower right.

You'll be brought back to the previous menu, click "save" there too, and then you'll be back to the warehouse screen, click "save" there as well to save your .save file.

Now, cross your fingers, open your game, and load into that neighborhood in the save file you were working on.

So, this is what I got after my first try. Pretty big difference. I was actually able to shift click and destroy the couch and lotus candles.

Before and After:

Here's basically what was left to clean up, I was able to shift click and destroy the crystals though, just forgot to take a new pic:

Played my game for a while so the next set of images don't line up exactly right but, I went back into S4S and removed some more things, and here's what I have now.

Huge difference. I just have some plates, plants, and some to go food left to clean up. I probably just haven't come across the names for those yet since it's just so time consuming. This is waaaaay better though and if your save file got even more built up than mine did, this could be game changing.

Let me know if you have any questions or if you figure out the name for the plants and plates I still need to get rid of!

***Update! I realized I had checked for an Object List in all of the Culpepper lots and the two non-apartment lots but hadn't bothered checking the Jasmine Suites apartments. Turns out 2B had an object list too! I just searched plant, plate, and foodGrip (this is some of the to go foods sims get from stalls) first to see and heck yes! Almost everything is completely gone now! So make sure you check alllll of the lots in the neighborhood. I would just start with one and do all the search terms though, see what's going on in game, and then go try the other lots back in S4S so you only have to search for the remaining items.

Most of the plates are now gone and all of the bushes are gone now but, the veggies from the bushes are still there. So close!!

[torturedtypewritersdept]

the proposition of a lifetime - b.b.

✯ pairing:

best friend!bucky x fem!reader

✯ summary:

you're not very experienced with sex, your skill are minimal at best and you know your boyfriend wants to do more. so what's a girl to do? go to her best friend for training, of course.

✯ warnings:

mature themes, mentions of sexual tension, detailed descriptions of a blow job in a car, etc.

✯ a/n:

nothing!! please don't engage if you have a hard time with any of these topics <3 this was origianlly posted on my old blog @/illicitfixations, @/lovelornanonymity and i have rewritten + reshared it here :) this was written way back in early 2023 i believe!

Bucky heard the faintest of knocks against his mahogany office door and as he glanced at the clock, he realized his sweet girl was just on time. Every Thursday at precisely three pm, you came to see him and the two of you had dinner together. It was a constant in the busy and the unknown and there was no better person to help you with your problem than your best friend, right? 

“Hey, pretty girl. How was your day?” 

He stood from the black leather beneath him and rolled the chair away from the desk with the backs of his knees. He was dressed in black slacks and a white button down shirt. His day had been long, you could tell by the pale blue tie that was once around his neck laying draped across the back of his chair. He smiled at you and brought his arms open, gesturing for you to place yourself in between them – a proper greeting. 

"It was okay. Listen – I was kinda hoping you could help me with something.” you replied as Bucky ran his hands up and down your back. 

The hair on the back of his neck stood up, his mind immediately wondered if you were in trouble, his senses always heightened at the thought of danger, especially when it came to you. He pursed his lips for a moment before he traced your features with his eyes – you seemed upset, sad even; or was it embarrassment that coated your cheeks with heat? He couldn’t put his finger on it. 

"Tell me how your day was – for real.” He replied, keeping his tone neutral. "Then, I'll offer up my services, sweetheart.” 

You chuckled and rolled your eyes as he gave you that classic James Barnes smile – it was kind and coated with sexual appeal and it fit in with the creases of his eyes like a puzzle piece. 

“Okay – fine. My day was fine, Buck, nothing special about it. I’m just feeling insecure, I guess.” 

You averted his eyes, knowing he was going to give you some lecture about how perfect you are or try to kill whoever had made you feel that way. 

“What’s making you feel insecure, doll? Or, is it someone in particular? You know whoever it is, I'll kill them – just say the word.” 

His expression was stone cold, the same one you had seen him wear only in the face of the world’s most dangerous mobsters and criminals – just before he killed them. 

“You can’t kill my boyfriend, Buck.” 

Your tone was flat.

“Brad? Or whatever his name is? Of course, I can.” 

He snorted out, laughing as if he actually took your little comment seriously. 

“Doll, what’s going on? What did he do?” 

You threw your head back and your hands flew at your face, wiping down it roughly. 

“He hasn’t done anything, Buck. It’s me – the problem is me.” 

“Come on, doll – talk to me.” 

Bucky urged. 

"It's sorta... embarrassing." 

You replied, shyly, rubbing at your hands until they were white. 

"It’s just me – just Bucky, baby. You can talk to me.” 

He responded, grabbing your hands in his. 

“I mean, I've already talked to some of my friends about it, but they can't help me the way I want."

"Okay.” He said, wondering what kind of help she could need, ignoring his more perverted thoughts and his brain switching into protective mode, again wondering if she was in some sort of trouble. 

"Thank you, Bucky.” You beamed, bouncing again. 

This time, it was all he could do not to stare openly at the motion of your unrestrained boobs; gawking at your nipples that you hadn’t bothered to cover up underneath your shirt.

“It's my boyfriend, Brad. He's... he wants... well, what every guy wants. I'm not sure I'm ready, but I don't want him to dump me."

Bucky forced words out of his dry mouth, doing his best to ignore his growing arousal. "If you're not ready for something, don't do it."

"Yeah, I know. But I think I might be ready for, um, other things."

He only nodded in response in an attempt to hide as he was about to choke on his words. The girl he had been in love with for so long was actually talking about sex with him? 

"If your girlfriend wasn't ready for, you know... sex... what would have been enough for you not to look elsewhere?"

You almost whispered the word "sex," and your face took on a pink cast at the same time. Your apparent embarrassment, as well as a wave of protective feelings, aided Bucky in repressing what he knew to be inappropriate lust for his friend. He pondered how to answer her question.

"If he's pressuring you, he's not worth keeping, sweetheart.” He said, giving in to his protective impulses.

"You sound like my mom.” You pouted, arms crossed under your breasts. "What do you think as a guy?"

‘I dont blame him – i’ve wanted to fuck you for so long, doll.’ He thought, but he pushed it aside, attempting to craft an honest, but also responsible answer.

"As much as I could get, I guess.” He said, wishing he had come up with something else. "But I would be pushing you – or, whoever I was with." 

He quickly caught himself at the end of his sentence in an attempt to smooth things over enough where you wouldn’t notice what he had just said. 

"Did you ever get a blowie from a girl?"

It took Bucky a moment to understand what you meant, as he had never heard anyone refer to a blowjob like that before. Several more seconds passed before he could formulate a response.

"There was a girl I dated who... we explored each other in, um, several ways." 

He all but stuttered as he tried to speak, but he could feel his semi-erect penis as he tried to formulate a coherent thought. 

"But she went down on you, right?"

You questioned.

"Yes, she did. But she wanted to, um, explore. I would never have pressured her to do it." As the words left his mouth, he cringed at the truth they hid. He had not directly coerced the girl in question, but he knew she had felt pressure anyway. 

"And it was enough?" 

You asked him point blank. 

"It was more than enough.” He grinned. "But if she had not wanted to..." 

He trailed off.

"I don't know how to, um, give a blowie.” You spoke, suddenly shy and your eyes locked on the floor. "I want to... I mean, I want to make him happy and all, but... what if I'm not good at it?" 

You looked at him doe-eyed and full of anxiety and he almost busted right there – just looking at you.

"I'm not sure we should be having this conversation.” Bucky replied, immediately regretting the words as they hit your skin and hurt filled your irises. 

"But I need your help. All my friends, at least the ones who've done it, say guys will like it no matter what. Some of them gave me pointers, and I've watched videos on the internet too, but... I think I need to practice first."

Your fingers stroked his forearm. Shining eyes met his, and he saw a plea in them. But his mind could not accept what his body, especially his cock, already had.

"I've heard some girls use cucumbers.” Bucky said.

"I've done that.” You said, "But cucumbers can't tell me whether I'm doing a good job or teach me to do it better. I need a man for that. A man who I know is a good teacher. I need you." 

Bucky’s eyes almost popped out of his head at your response. He never in a million years thought that he’d see this day or that it would play out like this – you practically begging him to teach you how to suck a dick – his dick. 

"Y/N, I can't... we can't..." 

His objection was half-assed. 

"Please, Buck. I need your help."

You begged again. 

"Okay. But no one can know." His erection throbbed in his jeans at his words, and his heart hammered. Deep down in his mind, his conscience attempted to object, but he ignored it.

"It'll be our secret, Bucky," You squealed, before hugging him, your firm breasts pressing against his lower torso, your lower abdomen against his rigid cock. He hugged you back, stroking your soft hair, not thinking about any possible consequences.

"We can go to my house.” He suggested, breaking the hug. "Maybe use pillows from the couch for you to kneel on.” 

"Can we do it in your car? Brad has one, and that's probably where I'd do it with him."

Bucky hesitated, watching you chew your bottom lip as you waited for his answer. What you proposed made sense, but he suspected it would be easier for you to learn, as well as more pleasurable for him, if they were both comfortable. However, now that he was committed, he did not want to mess up the chance to be the first guy his sweet girl went down on.

"Sure.” He said. "It'll be a bit more awkward, but it will prepare you for later."

"Thanks," You beamed, giving him a kiss on the cheek before running around to the passenger side of the car. He watched your ass and wondered if Brad knew how lucky he was. Bucky didn’t have to wonder – he knew. 

Your cheeks were pink again as you sat on the bench seat and stared straight ahead, hands in your lap. For a moment, his guilt returned. Had you not pushed out your chest at that exact same time, Bucky might have backed out. But the sight of those firm, round tits encased by only your thin t-shirt proved to be too much. He buried his doubts and slid into the car.

"If we're parking, we need some music.” He told you, turning the key to accessory so the radio would come on. "Is classic rock okay?"

"I guess," you shrugged, still looking out the windshield rather than at him. That allowed him to watch your boobs bounce with the shrug.

He turned up the radio, took your hand as gently as he could, and moved it to the bulge in his dress pants. Your fingers lay there for a second or two before you moved them away.

"I'm not... um... can we make out first?" 

You questioned awkwardly.

"If you aren't sure about this..."

He started, but you interrupted reassuring him. 

"I'm sure, Buck," you said, interrupting and turning your eyes to him. "I just think I need to, uh... work up to it, you know?"

"Sure, doll," Bucky replied, running a finger down her cheek. 

He leaned close to you, smelling the scent of vanilla as he did, pausing for a moment to breathe you in. You moved your head back and blinked. He sat back up and patted the seat beside him. You chewed her bottom lip, then scooted next to him. He stroked your soft cheek again. You sighed and did the same to him. Your eyes never left each other's as he lowered his lips to yours. Any trepidation you might have been experiencing seemed to vanish the moment your lips met. You grasped the back of his head and pulled his mouth tighter to yours. His tongue pushed between your lips, only to meet yours. He grabbed your waist, pulling you around to face him. Your free hand traced up his forearm and his free hand clutched one of your boobs. He marveled at the combination of softness and firmness. You moaned into his mouth when he found your nipple and lightly rolled it between his thumb and forefinger. He switched to your other boob and did the same thing. You moaned louder, which encouraged Bucky. Breaking their kiss, he grabbed the bottom of your shirt and started to lift it. He pulled the t-shirt over your head and up-stretched arms, mesmerized by your tits. They projected from your slender chest almost torpedo style, the tips capped with small, pink areolas and slightly darker nipples. Each more than a handful, he nonetheless did his best to grasp all of them as he dropped his mouth to one. Your fingers laced through his hair. You started to pull his face away, but reversed your effort as soon as he sucked your firm nipple between his lips and tongued it.

"Oh God, that feels good.” You groaned, pushing your chest out toward him. 

While he feasted on your magnificent breasts, he pulled your hand from his arm and into his lap. You hesitated, then your fingers closed around the length of his erection where it strained against the fabric of his pants.

"Your... thingy is very hard.” You whispered, your fingers tracing its outline.

"If you're going to suck it, you can say 'dick' or 'cock'," He told you, sitting up to look you in the eye.

"Your cock is very hard," you said, blushing. Still, your words were louder and more confident, and Bucky decided it was time to move their lesson forward.

"Take it out," He instructed, leaning his shoulders back against the seat.

Thin, soft fingers fumbled at the top button of his fly. Once you had it loose, you tugged, probably thinking that there would be a zipper. In what was probably less time than it seemed, you had his pants undone. He wiggled them down to mid-thigh, exposing his black boxer-briefs. Your fingers touched his dick through the soft cotton, and it jerked. You pulled your hand away a couple of inches and gasped, eyes darting up to his. He nodded to encourage you. After a deep breath, you ran your fingers up his length. This time, you did not stop when it moved at your touch.

"I've only felt Brad’s through his jeans. It's softer than I thought it'd be. But hard too. Really hard." 

You commented.

"Do you want to see it?" Bucky asked, and you nodded, eager eyes not leaving his crotch. 

He considered telling you to pull his briefs down, but he didn't want to wait. He freed his erection, which sprung straight up. You drew in a sharp breath, then touched his shaft with trembling fingers. His cock jerked to the side, but you never lost contact.

"Wrap your hand around it," He instructed, and you obliged. He groaned, fighting to keep his hips from thrusting up.

"It's bigger than I expected... and warm," you said, eyes meeting his, a grin on your face. "I didn't think... I mean, it makes sense but... this is... incredible." You gripped his dick tighter, squeezing it.

"Stroke up and down, doll.” 

You nodded then looked back down at his lap. Your fingers loosened and slid up and down the shaft a few times before wandering to the head.

"I love how soft the skin is even though it's so hard inside," you said before moving your thumb up the glans to the slit. "Is this cum?"

"Pre-cum." He said, resisting the urge to grab a fistful of hair and move your lips down to his crotch. "It leaks out when a man's hard."

"I didn't know that. So, when I suck your thing... your cock, it'll do that?" 

You questioned.

"Yes." 

He replied.

"Oh. Should I taste it now?"

"If you want."

You wiped up a glob of his fluid with your thumb and brought it to your mouth. Your tongue pushed out to taste it. A strange look crossed your face, and your gaze rose to his.

"It's... weird," you said. "Sweet and salty. And something like... soap? That's not it but...something..."

Shrugging, you sucked your thumb into your mouth, then pulled it out with a 'pop'. His cock twitched.

"Does cum taste the same?”

You questioned; intrigued with the idea of his manhood and just how it all worked. 

"Stronger, but similar." 

He responded, grinning ear-to-ear at your innocence and the part he was about to have in stripping it from you. He wondered how long it would be before you needed to ‘practice’ having sex before doing it with Brad – there’s nothing Bucky wanted more than to be your first everything. 

"I think I like it," you grinned. "But it's different than I expected. My friends who've tasted it said it's bitter or sour. But it's not." 

You commented.

"I think it's time for the next step." 

He said with a sly smile. 

"What should I do?" 

You questioned, awaiting his instruction.

"Kiss the tip."

You nodded, licked your lips, and leaned down into his lap. Your lips brushed the glans of his cock once, tentatively. The second time was surer. The third, you wrapped your lips around the very tip and sucked. His dick twitched in response, and you did it again. Bucky wanted to tell you to take more, but he saw that your position might be too awkward.

"Scoot back a little and lie on your tummy on the seat, doll.” He told you, and you complied, knees bent so your calves and feet stuck in the air. 

The change in position left your face hovering over his groin, and he nudged you downward. You took the hint, and seconds later, you slurped the entire glans of his penis in your mouth. He groaned, doing his best not to push harder on your head. He needed to let you do this in your own time.

"Move your tongue while you suck," He told you, and you wiggled it. "Yes... like that. Now take a little bit more down... watch the teeth.” 

You pulled up, alarmed eyes locking on his.

"Sorry..."

You trailed off.

"It's okay. It happens, especially for girls new to sucking cock. Try this, suck on your finger. Yes, like that. Now, scrape your teeth along it. It's a thousand times worse than that." 

You looked at him with wide eyes as you followed his instructions, apologizing again. 

"Sorry." 

"It's okay. But you have to make sure your lips protect a guy from your teeth. Here." 

Bucky took your finger, sucked it into his mouth, his lips moving up and down it. You shuddered, and what sounded like a disappointed noise escaped your parted lips when he removed his mouth from your finger.

"Now, you try," He said, holding out his index finger. You wrapped your lips around it and slid them to the base then back up.

"Good, now add suction."

You did as instructed, hollowing out your cheeks. He’d always liked a woman sucking on his fingers, and you were certainly no exception.

"Very good, sweetheart.” He told you a few seconds later. "Now add some tongue movement. Oh yeah, just like that."

You attacked his finger, sucking hard, lips sliding up and down its length, tongue wiggling. ‘If you could do that to a cock, you’d have boys eating out of her hand’, Bucky thought to himself. 

"Okay, now do the same to my cock," He said. 

You pulled your lips from his finger, grinned, and dropped your face to his lap, giving the tip of his cock a wet kiss. Bucky groaned, bucked his hips, and applied what he hoped was gentle pressure to your head. You didn’t resist, sliding your lips - no teeth this time - down a couple of inches of his cock. He groaned again. Slowly at first, you bobbed your head up and down, concentrating your efforts on the first third or so of his shaft. A few times, you took at least half of his almost seven-inch length, but much more than that caused you to gag and back off.

"That feels fantastic.” He told you, and you turned your eyes up to meet his. You held each other's gaze for several seconds, but your suction on his cock never lessened and your tongue never stilled.

"Try going faster," He suggested, and you nodded. 

Facing down again, you picked up speed. As you did so, the slurping sounds around his shaft grew louder. He ran his fingers through your soft hair, resisting grabbing a fistful and forcing you to go even faster. As it was, the tempo caused his novice cocksucker to take more in on each downstroke, and the times that you gagged increased in frequency as well. It was all as hot as hell, and sooner than Bucky would have liked, he realized he had reached the edge of no return.

"That's so good, doll, I'm really close. Concentrate near the head. Yeah, that's... wait... a little deeper... yes... perfect. Suck hard. God yes. Harder."

You sucked on the first couple of inches of his dick. You’d pulled up too far at first and slurped on the overly sensitive glans. But now your lips tightened just below, and your tongue massaged it gently. He shifted in his seat, groaned, grasped your head, and exploded. The first spurt of cum into your mouth must have taken you by surprise, because you sputtered around his shaft and attempted to raise your head. 

Bucky held it in place, however, his hips bucked with each shot and given that you did not struggle more and were not gagging, he figured you had adjusted and were swallowing it all. As it turned out, he was quite wrong. After the last little bit of cum dribbled out of his cock, he dropped his hands from your head. You bolted upright, lips clamped shut, panic in your wide eyes. Rivulets of mascara formed under your moist eyelids. Lower, cum seeped out both corners of your mouth, adding to the flow already running down your chin.

"Swallow it, sweet girl.” He instructed after a couple of seconds. You whimpered, shaking your head. 

"It's the easiest way, baby," he shrugged. "Otherwise, it'll just make a big mess. Well, a bigger mess."

You whimpered again, closing your eyes, and swallowing. It took two tries to get it all down, and you shuddered afterward. A drop fell from your chin to one sweet, young tit and started to slide along its curve.

"Show me your mouth," He said, adding, "wider," when you opened it maybe an inch. You did as he asked, and he saw a little white residue in a mostly empty mouth.

"Good girl," He said, patting your head. She gave him a weak smile and wiped her eyes. Another drop of cum joined the first on her breast.

"Here, I'll help," He told her, using his finger to push some of the cum on her chin up to her lips. The girl hesitated, so he thrust his messy finger into her mouth. She closed her eyes and sucked his digit. He fed her the rest in the same way, finishing up with the two drops that had made it to her chest. After a few moments you looked at him, settled back into the passenger seat and gave him a smile, lowering your hand to his thigh. 

“Thank you, Buck – I owe you one.” 

He smiled in return. 

“So what’s your plan, doll? Are you going to use all these new skills on that pathetic excuse for a boyfriend?” 

He asked with a teasing scoff at the sound or more so the idea of Brad and you being intimate – it made him shudder. You rolled your eyes before placing his cheeks in your hands and brushing your nose against his. 

“Silly boy – I broke up with him two weeks ago.” 

You whispered before Bucky let out a giggle and eradicated the space in between the two of you, colliding into your lips with his. 

[exhuastedpigeon]

I was tagged by @butchdiaz to do a 2024 fic roundup! In 2024 I posted 29 fics for a total of 201,143 words, which is the most I've ever posted to Ao3 in a single year (that that doesn't count the 75k wip I have in the works right now or the other 40k of wips I have, don't look at me). In 2024 I also posted my favourite fic I've ever written and posted a fic every month.

January

one is one too many, one more is never enough (2.2k | teen) Hangovers, drunken love confessions, getting together

They say hangovers get worse as you get older. Buck never believed that until his first hangover in his thirties hit him like a fucking freight train. He’d spent the entire day moving between the couch and the bathroom throwing up and had vowed to never get that drunk again.

every road and every highway led me right back to your door (Teen) Accidental baby acquisition, magic!Stiles

Derek would like it noted that he had been in way worse situations before. He would like that on the official record. His current predicament honestly doesn’t even make the top five worst situations he’s ever been in. It might not even make the top ten.

if you keep reachin' out (then I'll keep comin' back) (2k | teen) Rescue, minor injury, hurt!Eddie

“Don’t make me jealous,” Buck said, leaning in close and tugging at Eddie’s clips like he hadn’t already tested them three times.

“I would never,” Eddie winked, relishing the way Buck blushed. It probably wasn’t the best idea to flirt with Buck before a rescue but Eddie couldn’t help himself. He’d been struggling with keeping his feelings for Buck locked down for months now, maybe even longer if he was honest with himself. 

We don't even have to try, it's always a good time (2.2k | Explicit) Established relationship, closet sex

“Can I help you?” Eddie asked, fighting back a smile because Buck looked a little bit like he’d just swallowed a lemon. He was pretty sure Buck wasn’t in here to touch his dick, not with that look on his face.

February 

there ain't no turning back (28.3k | Explicit) Road trips, mutual pining, sharing a bed, future fic

Eddie let out a yelp when he finally took in the room. It was a two queen room, white blankets, a TV, a desk and chair near the window, nothing about the furniture was strange, except for the fact that Buck was lounging on the bed closest to the windows, his legs crossed at the ankles, feet clad in MIT socks that he’d gotten for himself the day Chris sent his application in because Buck was that confident he’d get in.

March

lay your cards down, down, down (6.3k | Mature) Bachelor party, woke up married, friends to husbands

At that moment a few things happened at once that all felt equality important. Buck noticed a black ring on Eddie’s ring finger. Buck felt Eddie’s hard cock pressed against his hip. And Buck saw a matching black ring on his own ring finger. Maybe it was silly to put Eddie’s hard cock at the same level as what looked a lot like wedding rings, but it felt just as important as the other two observations.

Baby, take me (4.4k | Explicit) Fluff and smut, bachelor party, love confessions

“Pretty sure I turned it off just fine last night,” Eddie said with a smirk that went straight to Buck’s cock, already half hard just from the way Eddie’s stubble is dragging across his skin. “Is that how I get you to stop thinking?”

I want to be your fantasy (maybe you could be mine) (7.2k | Explicit) Bachelor party, pole dancing, former stripper Eddie

“I’m going to be really good at this class,” Eddie said, his voice low. “Because one of my jobs before moving to L.A. was stripping. You’re the first person who didn’t work at the club or go to the club to know that and I’d prefer if it stayed that way.”

April

ain't no lie (bi bi bi) (8.6k | explicit) Eddie/Tommy, friends with benefits, jealous!Buck, pre-relationship Buddie

Eddie fools around with Tommy, Buck is jealous, Tommy's just trying to have a good time

kiss him once for me (935 words | gen) Feelings realization, pining, pre-relationship Buddie

Nothing changed between them. Or at least, nothing changed until he sees Buck and Tommy kiss.

give your heart and soul to charity (12.5k | teen) Character study, Catholic guilt, coming out, getting together

Eddie dumps God, gets some more therapy, accepts parts of himself he was taught to hate, loves his best friend, and loves himself.

wipe your mouth when you done (4.1k | Mature) Hockey AU, hockey fights, injury recovery

Buck would like it on record that he didn’t go looking for the video of Eddie’s fight with Jonah Greenway because he didn’t even know Eddie had gotten in a fight with Jonah Greenway. Ravi sent the video into the group chat with the comment that “Fans are weirdly horny over fights” and no other context.

May

keep on whispering in my ear (2.1k | explicit) Drunk hookups, infidelity, pre-relationship buddie

Eddie and Buck get extremely drunk at Chim's bachelor party and hook up

June

I'll Show You Magic (7k | explicit) Alternate universe - magic, witch!Eddie, Witch!Buck, different first meeting

"Who the hell are you?" Buck asks before his brain to mouth filter is fully online.

"Eddie," The guy - Eddie - says with an amused little smile pulling at his mouth. "I'm guessing you're Buck. Lucy said you’d be coming in and that you don't have much of a filter."

July

so far away but still so near (6.2k | Teen) Eddie & Lucy & Ravi friendship, personal growth, coming out

In which Eddie Diaz learns who he is outside of being a father, builds some new friendships, and loves his best friend

loves a game, wanna play? (57.5k | Mature) Love Island AU, Post S7, the silliest thing I've ever written

In the aftermath of Chris leaving for the summer, Buck convinces Eddie they should apply for Love Island together.

August

baby, get me off again (2.4k | Explicit) Lutalia, casual sex, praise kink, semi-public sex

“Natalia Dollenmeyer.”

“I remember,” Lucy turned in her seat so she was facing Natalia. “At the risk of sounding like a bad pickup artist, what’s a beautiful woman like you doing alone in a bar like this.”

from the ashes (5.6k | teen) Art as therapy, Eddie fic, getting together, self discovery

A call at an art studio inspires Eddie to take an art class, it turns out he kind of loves it.

 September

 I can fix that (4.2k | Mature) Flirting, teasing, pining, Eddie's moustache, home improvement

“What’s what?” Eddie asked, but the smile tugging at his mouth, the smile that was just slightly obscured by the hottest mustache Buck had ever fucking seen, told Buck Eddie knew exactly what he was talking about.

how to slay a dragon (2k | gen) Uncle Eddie, babysitting, Jee-Yun, playing make believe

Buck didn't know what to expect when he walked into the Han house. He definitely hadn’t expected to see Eddie sitting on the floor with Jee in front of him carefully french braiding her hair. He also hadn’t expected Eddie to be wearing a pink sparkly tiara. He definitely hadn’t expected Eddie to smile up at Buck when he saw him with soft eyes, eyes that didn’t feel like looking into an ocean of sadness, and carefully tie the end of one of the braids he was working on with a little bow.

The Pink Fairy (2.6k | teen) Magic!Stiles, mystery, banter

“Derek Hale, as I live and breathe,” Stiles grinned at him, leaning his elbows on the bar so he could get closer to Derek. It wasn’t loud, not yet. Not at 4pm, but Stiles had never really figured out how to stay out of Derek’s personal space. Apparently, years of distance between them hadn’t magically solved that for him.

the cat's meow (4.2k | explicit) Cats, love confessions, hand jobs

Eddie adopts a cat and let's himself have good things.

October

Gimme S'more (1.8k | Teen) Fluff, s'mores, flirting

“Damn, you’re right,” Buck’s laugh was bright. He’s been brighter in the last month, since Bobby finally got the captain's seat back and since Chris came home. Since basically everything that was royally fucking their lives up and the team’s lives finally ended.

Sweet as Pumpkin Pie (2.3k | Gen) Uncle Eddie, Uncle Buck, pumpkin patches, Jee-Yun, fluff

“That’s pretty cool,” Eddie said and Jee nodded at both of them, her hair already coming out of the little pigtails that Maddie had put it in when they picked her up. “How many pumpkins do you think it took to build it?”

“A billion!” Jee yelled, running through the pumpkin house with a giggle.

A-maze-ing (2.7k | Teen) Corn maze, fluff, autumn

“Would you want t-to go with me? To the haunted pumpkin patch?” Buck asked, sounding way too nervous for asking Eddie to go to a pumpkin patch. Unless - Unless.

Unless Buck wasn’t just asking him to go to a pumpkin patch. Unless Buck was asking Eddie on a date to the pumpkin patch. Eddie felt something warm and fizzy bubbling in his chest. He kind of felt like he might bubble up and float away, so filled with joy at the prospect of Buck asking him out. Of Buck wanting him that way. 

all dressed up (with somewhere to go) (3.4k | Teen) Mistaken Identity, getting together, making out, fluff and humor

“Hey,” Buck grinned when he reached Spider-man, grabbing him by the wrist to turn him around. He peeled the mask up just enough to kiss him. That was weird too, he’d never had to lean down to kiss Tommy before, even if it was only by an inch. Maybe the boots Buck was wearing had a bigger sole than he’d realized.

The kiss didn’t feel like Tommy either, his lips were softer and fuller than usual, but Buck chalked that up to the tequila. It was a good kiss though, that was the thing. It was a great kiss. He didn’t want to stop kissing him and actually, he didn’t have to. Buck wrapped his arms around him and deepened the kiss, groaning just a little when he felt Tommy wrap his arms around Buck too.

“Evan?”

November

please don't go (646 words | Gen) 8x08 Coda, inspired by fanart, pining

"Don't go."

The words are trapped in a cage at the back of Buck's throat. Every time he's opened his mouth in the last week he's had to speak around them. He feels like a tiger pacing his enclosure, like he's going to snap at the bars if anyone gets too close.

December

I should be pushing daisies (5.5k | Teen) Character study, light angst, love confessions, happy ending, extend metaphors

“I miss you so much, man,” Eddie says as easy as anything. Like those words don’t have the power to breathe life back into Buck’s body and steal that breath back at the same time. “It’s dumb but - I guess I didn’t realize how ingrained you are in my life until suddenly you weren’t there.”

“I-I miss you too,” Buck manages to say, though he has no idea if he sounds normal or if he sounds like there’s an anvil on his chest.

I took a little journey to the unknown (4.1k | Teen) Hurt Eddie, dreams, medical inaccuracies, holding hands, love confessions

Eddie groans, his tongue feels too big for his mouth and his thoughts are moving slowly, like they’re trying to wade through pudding and getting stuck on the way to his mouth.

“I-it’s okay, you don’t have to talk,” Buck says and the comforting warmth is back on Eddie’s hand. The only thought that rings clearly through his head is that Buck’s hand is safe. Buck is going to keep him safe. “Just - can you squeeze my hand if you’re awake?”

That feels nearly impossible, his body feels like lead, heavy and useless, but for Buck he can try. He focuses and squeezes as tightly as he can - it’s not very tight, but that doesn’t seem to matter when Buck lets out a long breath and then a choked sob.

no pressure tagging @inell @rosieposiepuddingnpie @queerdiazs @thekristen999 @glorious-spoon

@jeeyuns @vanmarkus @actualalligator @elvensorceress @sibylsleaves

@rainbow-nerdss @organizedstardust @spotsandsocks @shitouttabuck @generatorkitty

@hawkbutt @jesuisici33 @cal-daisies-and-briars @bekkachaos @cranberrymoons @diazsdimples

@devirnis @daffi-990 @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @honestlydarkprincess

@lonelychicago @monsterrae1 @dangerpronebuddie

[aishangotome]

Azel Radwan: Chapter 12

Chapter 11 Letter

Thank you @passthechloroform for providing the video for this chapter!

♡———♡

???: Is this also God's guidance? Miss Emma, it's been a while.

The moment I heard that gentle and calm voice, as if all the surrounding noise had been erased and the surroundings were enveloped in benevolence, an unknown chill ran down my spine.

-- A few hours earlier.

Emma: Prince Azel, I'm off.

Azel: It must be tough for you every day.

I put on the bag filled with books and covered my head with a stole to protect myself from the sand.

It was a solution that Prince Azel had taught me when I told him I was troubled by the fine sand getting in my hair.

(Even though he says "I don't care," he's a surprisingly caring God.)

Azel: You're going to the place of that big merchant who manages the market today, right?

Emma: ...Did I even tell you that?

Azel: I just happened to see the books you were packing in your bag.

Azel: I have a connection with him. I know his taste in books.

(To deduce that just from the specialized books on art...)

Azel: If you're going to the city, take this with you.

It seemed like Prince Azel's main point was an errand, as he handed me a folded piece of paper.

The letters written all over it were scribbled and honestly hard to read.

(Prince Azel's letters all look like horizontal lines except for the first letter.)

It took me a few minutes to decipher the letters that were probably created as a result of prioritizing efficiency.

Azel: And one more thing.

Just as I finally understood the contents, he handed me an envelope as an additional request.

Azel: Give this to the person who calls out to you.

Emma: It's like a prophecy.

Azel: It's not "like" a prophecy, it is a prophecy. Someone will definitely call out to you.

Azel: Let's see... If you have time, you can attend to his request.

Azel: You were interested in Tanzanite divination, right? It wouldn't be bad to experience the real thing once.

(It seems like the future I can't see is clearly reflected in Prince Azel's eyes.)

There are still things I don't understand about the mysteries of the "Living God."

Whether it's a mystery or just foresight –

Azel: Oh, and also...

Emma: Is there more!?

Azel: If a suspicious old man calls out to you, ignore him.

Azel: If you lose to your conscience and listen to his sweet words, all that awaits you is ruin.

Emma: ...That's casually scary.

Azel: It's the truth. Listen, indiscriminate kindness is not a virtue, it's just stupidity.

Azel: This world is overflowing with "madmen who aren't aware of their own evil."

Azel: As Belle, you're a good target for anyone. Leave the scamming to me.

(Though Prince Azel's scams aren't good either...)

Emma: ...Understood. I understand that you're worried about me, Prince Azel.

Emma: I'll do my best to run away from any trouble.

Azel: I'm not worried.

Azel: I'm just saying don't cause me any trouble.

Azel: I've already been put through enough trouble, I don't need any more.

(Hmm... He won't meet my eyes.)

Emma: I understand, Prince Azel.

Emma: Actually, you're so worried that you can't stand it, but your embarrassment keeps you from saying it honestly––

Emma: Ow...! My cheeks are going to rip!

Azel: That's divine punishment for your ignorance.

Azel: Would you please stop being so conceited? I'm not interested in other people.

As if to tell me to hurry up and go, Prince Azel grabbed my shoulder and forcefully turned my body around.

(Now that I know Prince Azel is a tsundere who's bad at expressing himself, I can't help but grin at every little thing.)

Perhaps sensing my amusement, he gave me a strong push on my back, and I left the temple, stumbling a little.

-

Emma: ...Huh?

Silvio: What?

As I left the office of the association that manages the market, I happened to meet someone I knew.

Silvio: You again? If you came out of there, does that mean your client is Temer?

Emma: That's right.

As Prince Azel had said, Mr. Temer was a big merchant who controlled the market, and he was generous with rewards in the form of books.

Silvio: Your guest is quite a big shot.

(Now that I think about it, the Living God, the chairman of the tourism association, the big merchant of the market...)

(The owner only has connections with big shots.)

Silvio: Are ya done with your business for today?

Emma: Yes. After this, I just have to run an errand for Prince Azel... Ah!

I suddenly remembered and took the envelope out of my bag.

(It seems like the prophecy came true.)

Emma: Prince Azel asked me to give this to you.

Silvio: Ha, I don't remember making any plans to meet with you, though?

Silvio: That guy really is thorough in these matters.

After receiving the letter, Prince Silvio immediately cut it open with a small knife he had and read through it, but...

Judging from the wrinkles between his eyebrows, it seems like I'm not the only one who struggles with his handwriting.

Silvio: Damn, not only is it a pain to decipher, it's also a hell of a deal.

Emma: Is it about business?

Silvio: Yeah, somethin' like that.

After looking up from the letter, Prince Silvio stared at me with an impolite gaze.

(He looks like he wants to say something.)

Silvio: ...Well, whatever. Woman, accompany me while you're running errands for the God.

Emma: Is there something you need help with?

Silvio: There might be, there might not be.

(...)

His vague attitude bothered me, but Prince Azel's prophecy was still fresh in my mind.

Emma: Understood. It's a rare opportunity to get in Prince Silvio's good graces.

Silvio: You might actually end up being the buyer.

Silvio: First, let's find a gift.

(A gift...?)

-

Silvio: Hey, drunkard diviner.

Diviner: Ah, Prince Silvio, I've been waiting for you. I brought my collection of rare alcohol today, but...

Sitting at the table in the tavern, enjoying his drink, was a man veiled in mystery.

Our eyes met through the translucent cloth, and for some reason, he was astonished.

Diviner: The woman next to you...is...

Diviner: ...Could it be, the foreign girl that the Living God is passionately infatuated with...!

(...I want to say it's a misunderstanding, but I can't...)

As I forced myself to swallow the words that were about to come out, the diviner stood up abruptly and offered me his seat.

Diviner: I'm fine on the floor.

Emma: You are not fine, please sit back down!

Diviner: How can I possibly sit comfortably in front of the supreme treasure of the Living God?

Emma: The Living God... surely wouldn't want this.

Diviner: How merciful...!

(He's reacting this way because he's drunk, right? I want to believe that.)

Silvio: Passionately infatuated...

Silvio: I want to know more about that.

(Oh no...)

As a guest staying at the castle, Prince Silvio must have heard some rumors, but judging from his reaction, he might not have grasped the details yet.

Emma: M-more importantly, don't you have more important business to attend to?

Silvio: Not really, I just thought I'd have a drink with the drunkard.

Emma: In the middle of the day?

Silvio: I don't have much work today.

Silvio: Besides, in Tanzanite, there's no one more informed than a diviner.

Silvio: It's more convenient to bribe a diviner than to hire a lousy informant.

(Why is that?)

When Prince Silvio offered the expensive alcohol he had bought on the way, the diviner's eyes changed.

Silvio: So, what happened with that greedy God?

Emma: Oh, that's right! I'm interested in divination!

Emma: I heard that Tanzanite has its own unique astrology...

Emma: I've never seen a real divination before, so I'd like to see it... or something like that.

I forcibly changed the subject before he could pry any further.

(I'm not lying.)

(I know about Prince Azel's fraudulent divination, but now I'm not even sure if that was really divination...)

Emma: Would it trouble you to tell my fortune sometime when you're free?

Diviner: Not at all! If you're interested, I can show you right now.

(Right now!?)

The diviner stood up, grabbed a nearby bag, and took out paper, a pen, ink, and a beautiful disc engraved with numerous letters.

*flashback*

Azel: All diviners in Tanzanite are interested in the sky.

Azel: The basis of divination in our country is astrology.

*flashback over*

Emma: ––Is that a horoscope?

While I was dumbfounded, a fragment of memory flickered in my mind.

Diviner: Yes. But it's different from the ones prevalent in other countries.

Diviner: What Tanzanite diviners use is an astrological chart built up by successive Living Gods...

Diviner: It's the "stars" spun by the Living God himself.

(I don't know anything about astrology, so I don't understand what's different...)

(Maybe it means the horoscope itself is unique and handmade by the God?)

Diviner: The one I have is an old chart, and the stars of the current Living God aren't engraved on it...

Diviner: But that probably won't affect the results of the divination.

Silvio: Come to think of it, I've only ever seen fake divination.

(...I feel like he's talking about Prince Azel's divination.)

Silvio: Woman, what exactly are ya goin' to have him tell your fortune about?

Emma: Anything is fine?

Diviner: Of course. Divination unravels the tangles of worries and anxieties and shows people the path to a certain tomorrow.

Diviner: I don't think it's necessary for the daughter blessed by the Living God, but please ask me anything.

(Since it's a rare opportunity, I should ask about my love life...)

(...But I feel like it's dangerous to ask that in my current position.)

Emma: Actually, I'm in debt.

Silvio: Huh?

Emma: I'm working hard every day to repay that debt...

Emma: Will I be able to repay it in the future?

(I can't return to Rhodolite unless I repay it... It's my most pressing concern right now.)

Diviner: Let's ask the Gods. But before that...

Diviner: First, please answer a few questions.

With Prince Silvio watching over me, I answered the questions one by one.

From personal information to intuitive questions with unreadable intentions like "Which do you choose, red or blue?", it wasn't so much about being exposed by mystical powers, but rather each piece of information I answered seemed to become the foundation of the divination.

(This is completely different from Prince Azel's way.)

(...When I'm questioned so thoroughly like this, I understand what he meant by "knowing more than an informant.")

Prince Silvio seemed to have gotten bored halfway through and started drinking by himself after ordering alcohol from the waiter.

After a considerable amount of time had passed, the diviner who had been looking at the horoscope finally looked up.

Diviner: ––The oracle has spoken.

Diviner: If you continue to do what you should do, the misfortune that has befallen you will surely be dispelled.

Diviner: The guidance of the moon's incarnation shows a good omen that you will become free.

Emma: Really? That's great.

(I'm so glad it's not a future where I'm eternally exploited by Prince Azel!)

Silvio: Ha, it's just a divination, right?

Silvio: If you're in debt, what else can you do but work your fingers to the bone?

Emma: ...I was caught by a rather special swindler, so I'm happy even if it's just for peace of mind.

Silvio: Peace of mind won't solve anything.

Diviner: No. Prophecies come true most of the time. That's the divination of our country.

Diviner: Unlike other countries, in this country, which is directly blessed by God, the future is a "guaranteed reality."

(...Prince Azel said something similar.)

(Come to think of it, it's only recently that divination has become inaccurate.)

(Was it really a "guaranteed reality" before that?)

Diviner: People rely on divination before doing anything. Employment, starting a business, marriage partners, politics, everything...

Diviner: For the people of Tanzanite, divination is the star on the vast ocean.

Diviner: Why can navigators steer their ships without getting lost even in the middle of the vast ocean...?

Diviner: It's because there are stars in the sky that indicate direction.

Diviner: Divination plays the role of those stars, and it's an essential and important thing.

Diviner: We don't know the "uncertain future."

(...I think I understand this country's view of divination.)

(The reason why the people of Tanzanite are in a panic now is...)

(Because the stars that should have always been there suddenly disappeared one day.)

Crossing the ocean without a compass or stars must be incredibly difficult.

Perhaps people are left behind on the dark ocean, trembling with anxiety.

Silvio: I wonder what the Living God thinks of this current situation?

Prince Silvio, putting down his alcohol, dropped his gaze to the unique disc engraved with small letters.

Silvio: The people of Tanzanite can't live without God now.

Silvio: They are kept alive by God and have built prosperity by God.

Silvio: Did God wish for this...?

*flashback*

Azel: Someone once said that humans are thinking reeds.

Azel: But those who give up thinking for themselves are just reeds.

Azel: It's a fitting image for this country where the plants have withered.

*flashback over*

Emma: No... I don't think he wished for this.

Prince Silvio, as well as the diviner, widened their eyes slightly at my firm declaration.

Silvio: ...If you, who he's so passionately infatuated with, say so, then it must be true.

Silvio: If God didn't wish for this...

Silvio: Then who the hell created this situation?

(...Who created...)

Neither I nor the diviner had an answer.

The quiet tavern in the middle of the day was enveloped in silence.

Prince Silvio's casual question sank deep into my heart.

-

When we left the tavern, the sunlight had already begun to slant.

Emma: Speaking of which, what was it that you needed help with?

Silvio: Huh? Let's see...

Silvio: Moral support.

Emma: ...Does stopping me have anything to do with Prince Azel's letter?

(There's no way Prince Silvio would bring me along without a reason.)

Silvio: Who knows?

Silvio: ...Hm?

???: Is this also God's guidance? Miss Emma, it's been a while.

(...!)

The moment I heard that gentle and calm voice, as if all the surrounding noise had been erased and the surroundings were enveloped in benevolence, an unknown chill ran down my spine.

Trying to calm my heart that was beating like an alarm, I slowly turned around –

An elderly man with a benevolent smile, unchanged from when I saw him before, approached me.

(The High Priest...)

High Priest: This is a precious opportunity.

High Priest: Miss Emma, would you like to listen to the sermon as well?

.

.

.

Chapter 13

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[zeebee3]

Mother!! Your last fic slapped so hard? Omg. You're genius.

I wanted to ask you for some recommendations.👀 I love everything you've ever written, so I'm sure I'll love what you've enjoyed reading too.

If/when you have time, of course.💙

Ahhhhh okay this is going to be a long list, I can already tell 😂 I've tried to limit myself but there are SO MANY fics out there that I eat up again and again, and there will never be a comprehensive list of stuff I've enjoyed because so far, it's truly endless.

That said, here are the first handful that jumped to mind which I've read at least twice (that's got to be a metric of something, right?). I'm going to do the absolute barest summary for them because really, the author's summary and tags do more good than I ever will.

It also goes without saying that every fic by any of these writers is a 10/10 slam dunk, so make a cup of tea and scroll their work lists for more gems. I hope you enjoy!

Note: all of them are rated E

In no particular order...

Dramione

While They Were Sleeping by Dizzle00. The sexual tension in this one!!!!!! pls. I die, even on rereads. Mind the tags as it's an infidelity fic (dating not married).

Full Tilt by Khakis. BDD and a Hermione who is determined to take it. You're welcome in advance.

I Won't Kiss a Death Eater by Orolin. Wartime, forbidden love, clandestine meetings, THE SPICE, the moody vibes!! The podfic of this (linked at the bottom) is also insanely good.

A Healer's Guide to Mating with a Werewolf by sad_millennial. The build up and storytelling is so wonderful, it's truly mind boggling that this clocks in under 8k words for how rich and full of life it is!

The Horny Virgin Chronicles by SilverDragonGemini. 8th year, Hermione asks Draco to help her learn what she likes in bed. Every chapter is amazing, I read it in a single sitting and will be rereading for sure!

Serpents & Skulls by Wanderingfair. Muggle uni AU, secret society, mystery and romance! The moody, dark academia vibes are exceptional.

horny devil by SultryNuns. Draco grows horns, and they are sensitive. I know, I know--say less.

Mount by molivier. Brazilian Ju Jitsu as foreplay. AGAIN, say less.

I was just thinking about it, I'm not gonna do it by malfoyesque. Draco pulls out every time...until now. This is the Draco POV of our dreams.

The Wandmaker by Charingfae. Draco makes magical sex toys; Hermione buys one 🙃

A Marriage of Inconvenience by Beforetherealbook. The title says it all--add in virgin!Draco, pining!Draco, and baby we're cookin'

The Summer After by youhavemyswordandbow. Set in the summer before 8th year, Draco is sent to live with the Grangers. I have a crush on this whole story.

Triads

The Cock Tongue Incident by neilistic. (Hermione/Draco/Astoria). Hermione is summoned to Draco and Astoria's home to help with something. I'm full-on on my knees for this Astoria, and the premise is so unique and so so well done!

Tarnished by westxnorthwest. (Draco/Theo/Hermione). 8th year, the start of a triad, no prior Dreo (which is very very fun to see bloom).

Drarry

Only for October by DodgerKedavra. Every chapter is written based on the 2023 HP Cocktober prompt. Every chapter is also FANTASTIC 🫠

Former Things Come to Mind by DodgerKedavra. Okay I'm cheating on my self-imposed "one fic per author" rule but I simply can't not suggest everyone read this one. The prose. THE CHARACTERIZATIONS. I tear up every reread.

That Old Black Magic by bixgirl1. God-tier marriage law fic. This is the one that got me into that trope to begin with. PHEW.

Lumos by birdsofshore. Another classic Drarry but hey, if you haven't read it, let this be your cue!

OKAY that's it for now, but I am curating a list of my favorite other/rare pair fics as well so once I get that together, I'll do a follow up post.

Annddddd now I want to go reread half of these AGAIN 😅

[cantfightmoonlight]

"You're the one who said you can't. Excuse me for having a question as to whether or not it was an evolutionary can't," She held up her hands in the air as she watched him become defense once again at mere curiosity. Only as he continued to buckle down on the matter, she scrunched up her brows and stated the obvious, "Did I say that? I know english might not be my first language, but last I checked, shouldn't and can't mean two different things."

"Okay, well, since you didn't answer my question, I'll ask again, why are you reading about genomes exactly?" She curved a brow up at him as she watched him shield his phone away from her. "Look it up, Smartie Pants. You don't want to answer my questions, why should I answer yours?" She countered as she began to swivel away from him in the bar stool. It was only when he told her there was no one attractive here, that she found herself rolling her eyes lightly over. "Well, fuck you too. You know, you don't have to be so ugly," She told him bluntly. While him finding her unattractive didn't particularly bother her, to write off an entire room full of people couldn't help, but give her the ick. "There are good people in this room and, while they might not be your cup of tea, writing them all off as unattractive might just be the most unattractive thing I've ever heard another person say," She told him honestly. "Kitty'nin sende ne bulduğunu bilmiyorum," She muttered under her breath as she repositioning herself in her seat to face the bar. I don't know what Kitty sees in you, She thought as she went back to sipping her own drink, not particularly seeing a point in engaging with the man beside her anymore.

"Because I don't want to? That's ridiculous," he scoffed at ther question as she sat, down, "Just because you're able to doesn't mean everyone should." He wished he was still physically able to get drunk but after everything he knew he had to be careful with things. Watching Elif, he shook his head a little, this sort of thing should've been expected and more since she was very clearly drunk, "Not working on, just reading," he answered truthfully her but did shield his phone away from gaze, "I just found out I was at a mixer actually, wasn't expecting the crowds," he said with honesty again, how much she would believe him wasn't really a concern of his, "Problemlerini unut," he repeated back slowly, "What does that mean, something about problems?" Realising he had inadvertently garnered her attention, Dhruv sighed as he slumped back into the seat. At her question though, he looked around the room before focus settled back on her, expression uninterested, "There's no one attractive here."

[14dayswithyou]

💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖

For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!

The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^

What's been added to the 3.5 version?

📺 Streamer Mode!

I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.

Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh

This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!

⚙️ Custom Pronouns!

It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;

Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!

💗 Choose how others perceive you!

You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.

For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!

📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!

You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3

Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!

I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;

I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao

📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!

You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!

Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!

I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;

It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)

🖤 Additional Scenes Update!

Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!

If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.

After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga

🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!

I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!

I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.

Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.

How to download and play the update?

(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!

Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)

Enjoy!!

[cum-villain]

Has anyone else noticed recently how there's been a surge in "fujoshis are homophobic"/"women are fetishizing gay men" type statements and ideology around the same time "trans men are women trying to invade queer men's spaces" type anti trans men sentiments have been rising?

[luthqrs]

doctor who big finish audio stories!

⚠️ this post is no longer being updated or monitored x ⚠️

you may have seen my nuwho books post and thought “well that’s all good and proper but i wanted the big finish audio dramas >:(“ fear not, because i have a collection of those too and i am still not allergic to sharing :)

also up for grabs: doctor who novelisations (x) and torchwood big finish audios (x)

a list of what’s there + how to play below the cut x

things you’ll find here:

new who + misc

the diary of river song (series 1-12)

the death and life of river song (series 1)

the tenth doctor and river song (series 1)

the tenth doctor adventures (series 1-3)

the ninth doctor adventures (series 1 + series 4 vol. 1)

unit incursions (episodes 8.04 + 8.05)

unit nemesis (series 4)

missy (series 1-4)

the eighth of march (3.01 + 3.02)

masterful + terror of the master

rose tyler: the dimension cannon (series 1-3)

the paternoster gang (series 1-5)

master! (series 1-3)

time lord victorious (008)

once and future (005)

tenth doctor adventures: dalek universe (3.02)

classic who

the eighth doctor adventures (series 1-4)

stranded series (series 1-3)

doom coalition (series 1-4) (exc. 3.02.... working on it)

dark eyes (series 1-4)

ravenous (series 1-4)

classic main range (134, 135 + 168)

companion chronicles: the second doctor (vol 1-3 / series 10, 12 + 14)

gallifrey (series 1-3)

!!! torchwood audios have moved. they can now be found here !!!

and how to access them

press play!!

if you like to listen at 1.5x speed like me, you can use an independent media player. on ios, press the 3 dots -> open with: [audio player of choice] (i use evermusic)

make and save copies of what you want even if you don’t have time to listen right now. don’t rely on this link always being here.

want something you can't have?

⚠️ this post is not currently being monitored or updated ⚠️

if there's a particular story/series you wanted to hear that i don't have listed yet, send me an ask or pop it in the comments x

happy listening! x

[stump-not-found]

i've said it once and i'll say it again: your art is just gorgeous and this cover is jaw droppingly stunning . i almost wrote "stuffing" instead of stunning which would have been just a terrible mistake . no one is being stuffed here . we save that for later chapters (<- this is a lie) (...or is it?)

the emotion . the way the light comes in from the bottom . the fucking mug . the subtle scarring !! im gonna stare at this image forever and im gonna get lost in it .

this cover is attached to the chapter now, go check it out! and please be sure to send ancharan plenty of love. this is just amazing

@stump-not-found

[lordandladywhistledown]

Okay this shot of Colin is giving me the vibes of this little part of their first night together:

He's figured out that he loves her before this moment but he's just feeling so much that he also can't believe it's all because of Penelope, his lifelong friend who he didn't even see any other way before this season. He's like: "What the fuck and how the fuck are you making me feel these things" and I LOVE IT

He also looks like he was crying (or maybe that's just me) but that would also bring the whole scene on another level

[the-asocial-butterfly]

the ovilus saying "daddy" as soon as Shane leans against his arm in the cell is a strong start for the season

[honkshoomimimimimi]

although I'm not this serious about writers engaging with their audience, PREECH‼️‼️🔥🔥🗣🗣

I've said ts already but whenever an author replies to my comment I go absolutely feral. I LOVE authors who engage with those in their comment section, esp when they support theories people make<33333

it's me again on the subject of comments and fanfiction

Now that I'm on break from writing fanfics and spend all my free time reading them instead, I have come to notice the alarming number of fanfic writers who don't reply to readers' comments.

I'm not here to judge the writers who don't reply or to force them to step out of their comfort zone; but I am here to stress the reality that your lack of engagement does negatively affect the number of hits/kudos/comments that your stories get now and in the future.

If that doesn't bother you as a writer, then that's great and you can go ahead and stop reading this post atp.

If it does bother you that you're not getting enough traffic on your fanfics, consider looking at your engagement with your readers...or lack thereof.

Personally when I comment on a story and don't get a reply, I can't take my kudos of course and I won't delete my comment but I will cancel the writer and NEVER read a work from them again.

I'm not even ashamed to admit that I'm petty like that. Yes it's childish and maybe I should be more understanding but I'm not. Not when these writers have the option to reply with an emoji or a single word like "thanks" or "hi".

I'm a writer too and I suffer from mental health issues like the next person. Sometimes I have no strength to engage but I do pick myself up eventually for the sake of the readers who ALSO gathered their strength and courage to come and talk to me in the comments.

Readers are human too and they're also going through stuff.

So like, it just hurts not to get a reply okay. It hurts

Now imagine the number of readers out there who feel like I do about this matter.

[deconstructthesoup]

Freshman Year

Kristen: OH MY GOD I LIKE GIRLS

Fig: Yeah, I also like girls, what about it?

Sophomore Year

Riz: OH MY GOD I'M AROACE

Adaine: Huh, I might be ace, that's cool

Junior Year (probably)

Fabian: OH MY GOD I LIKE BOYS

Gorgug: I've been bi this whole time :)

[heich0e]

sorry i can't come out tonight i just thought about big men getting on their knees and it's gonna take me a couple days to recover