#i've rebranded finally

[9bitghost]

lizzie's momocon outfits were too cute not to draw pomni in ✨

(2nd outfit was designed by otakah_ on twt/IG!)

[astradyke]

my main confusion with whether or not they'd hard launch / explicitly show more of their relationship is like... if they do a tour i can somehow imagine that being less of a part of it, but also their tour would probably be their last ever (and 3 is a good number). and i can see them wanting to hard launch after, not before, a world tour. that being said i think a documentary would more easily involve that because they'd undeniably talk about the behind the scenes / coming out experience of them as youtubers and if it's like a piece of their career and legacy together that hits mainstream i can imagine kinda autobiographically that's something they'd mention. so documentary feels like way more likely odds of being more explicit than a tour, but i can't tell if they're doing a documentary and then a tour in which case i don't think the doc will have anything like this at all. does that make sense?

[kalisseo]

at this point, even though the redo au isn't near from being complete, I could simply rebrand the characters and call it my own tbh

if I just changed their names and appearances it could be like, just a regular oc story

[acheronidae]

URL change jumpscare :)

[soonhoonsol]

this isn't kpop related but i finally finished watching the flash tv show and i am a mess

[valeisaslut]

can we get some more background on collide’s ellie before the story started? lowkey curious about her groupie days hahaha

THANK YOU GORG NONNIE I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO WRITE THIS. TURN IT UPPPP

Rockstar!ellie williams’ life before you came crashing into it was already wild in its own right. the fireflies started as this messy little project in high school, just three angsty teenagers skipping class to rehearse in jesse’s garage and dream too big. but from the very beginning, ellie had that thing. that frontwoman energy. raw, magnetic, loud when she wanted to be and quiet in the moments that mattered.

of course, being joel miller’s daughter didn’t hurt either. the joel miller—rock legend, guitarist god, literal music royalty. she grew up with guitars in every corner of the house, got her first custom pedal at twelve, and was getting dropped off at school in a vintage mustang with the windows down and her dad blasting nirvana like he wasn’t a whole icon. people were paying attention before she even opened her mouth.

their debut album dropped when she was barely nineteen and it exploded. like, charts on fire, critics losing their minds, fans already tattooing lyrics on their ribs kind of explosion. it was rough and loud and painfully honest, and people ate it up. suddenly the fireflies were everywhere—magazine covers, award shows, late night interviews where ellie would always roll her eyes and let dina do the talking.

and ellie? ellie was living like a rockstar. full-speed. full-chaos. she had girls lined up at every venue, backstage passes tucked into her back pocket like candy. groupies every night, different cities, different names she couldn’t remember in the morning. she wasn’t cruel about it, just detached. like she knew how to give people a night they’d remember forever, while she forgot it the second it was over.

there were stories, obviously. ellie williams didn’t just flirt with the whole sex-drugs-rock-and-roll lifestyle—she practically rebranded it.

like the time in chicago, where she went MIA a few hours before the show and no one could find her. security was panicking, dina was pacing, and jesse was one call away from having a heart attack—until ellie strolled into the venue ten minutes before set time, lipstick smudged all over her jaw, reeking of tequila and weed, with three girls trailing behind her like she was the messiah of sex. she still performed like nothing happened, of course. even signed a bra on stage mid-song.

or berlin, when she stopped the show halfway through, locked eyes with a girl in the front row who looked like she’d been crying, and straight-up jumped off stage. mic still in hand, she kissed her so hard it made at least 20 headlines. she never got her name, but later admitted in an interview that it was one of the best kisses of her life.

and then there was that rooftop in LA—the infamous afterparty for some alt girlband’s tour finale. ellie was already drunk, half in her underwear, making out with the rival band’s lead singer against a glass wall while their drummer tried to politely look away. jesse swears he walked in on her mid-threesome in the guest bedroom later that night, but ellie still denies it to this day. kinda.

there was one show—vegas, obviously—where ellie walked off stage with nearly twenty bras and at least ten pairs of panties stuffed into her mic stand, draped over her guitar, even hanging off her boot somehow. halfway through the set, it basically turned into a lingerie rainstorm. she played through it like a pro, flashing that smug little grin every time another piece hit the stage, only pausing once to pick up a red lace thong, twirl it around her finger, and go, “if you want it back, you’re gonna have to come get it yourself.” the crowd lost it.

dina joked that they could open a lingerie store with all the stuff ellie got that night. ellie just shrugged, grinning, and said, “what can i say? i’m a woman of the people.”

it was a mess, but it was her mess. untouchable, unstoppable, with this cocky grin and a body count that would make most people faint. music was her religion and girls were her favorite sin.

but all of that changed when you showed up. not right away—ellie was too stubborn for that. but eventually, the chaos started to feel a little quieter. the noise started to mean something. and for the first time, ellie started thinking less about the next city, and more about who she wanted waiting for her when the lights went down.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Rowling on Aces

[scottish castle] JK Rowling: [in a darkened room, staring into the dying embers in her fireplace] ssso Rowling: finally it comess to thisss Rowling: julia donaldssson Rowling: it wasss alwaysss going to be julia donaldssson

Rowling: how isss it that her power hass sssurpasssed my own JK Rowling's agent: well joanne don't worry, i'm sure we can come back from this Rowling: perhapss i didn't hate the transs hard enough agent: well uh we can agent: that's one possibility agent: but maybe we should consider other theories

Rowling: what if i branched out into hating OTHER groupsss too agent: well marketing data does indicate that hate is very hot right now agent: its very in agent: which group were you thinking of? Rowling: what about asssexualsss? Rowling: they've had it too good for too long!

Rowling: ooo i hate thesssse assexualssss Rowling: who do they think they are NOT having sssex?? Rowling: they need a whole term for that? Rowling: when i was a kid, we jussst called that being british!

Rowling: if only there wassss sssome kind of corrective action that could be taken againssst asssexuals agent: Rowling: i'm going to give that sssome thought Rowling: i'm sssure i can think of ssomething

agent: are you sure that you want to start beefing with aces? Rowling: i've got a ssslogan already worked out agent: a what agent: you've got a slogan? Rowling: "get this ace outta my face!" agent: agent: oh that's actually kinda catchy agent: dammit joanne you've still got it!

agent: do you think rebranding as the author that hates all sexual minorities is really wise tho? Rowling: why? do you think the acesss might find my casstle on the regissstry of hissstoric placess? agent: no i mean Rowling: do you think i should extend my four foot fence?

[lizard-queen-izzy]

Its Mr. and Mr. Games!

To celebrate the end of the TIT era, and the upcoming rebranding, I wanted to draw something. I knew from the first time I heard the song back in November that I had to make piece to honor this beautiful reintroduction to two of the most influential people in my life.

This design will eventually be up for sale, either as prints/stickers or keychains. Once I get it all figured out.

I'm gonna get sappy now, but I'll put that under the cut.

Dan and Phil came into my life at probably the perfect time. I'd seen little bits of their content before officially becoming a Phan, and I'd always liked them. But there was something about stumbling across them the summer before middle school, that really stuck with me. I'd never been particularly popular, and I moved quite a bit for a few years, and here I was in a whole new environment with no real friends besides my brothers. I was slowly starting to fall victim to the typical puberty age insecurities and my poor mental health was starting to take a toll on me. And here were these two British guys, like a ray of light in the dark. They didn't fix everything, far from it, but they started to become a safe space regardless. I love them both of course, but I've always been a Dan girlie. It was like staring at, myself in a mirror but despite our similarities he was actually popular, at least online. And at the time we didn't know as much as we know now, but I felt a deep connection with him, I felt like he got it. Like it wasn't just a "I have mental health issues, I'm just like you", it was genuinely someone who was dealing with similar things to what I was. And Phil was always a wonderful ray of sunshine, and it helped that he so clearly got Dan. He understood and he didn't shun him for his struggles or ever make fun of him beyond light, friendly teasing. And I've craved a bond and connection like them since (which I do finally have).

But it wasn't just about Dan and Phil. It was about the community they created, the safe haven for kids and teens that came from all over. A community they were so welcoming of and cared about so much (even when that community was less than deserving of it). And this community is how I made friends. Some of my first ever real friends in middle school were made in part because of Dan and Phil. As well as some of my friends now. Some of my first real connections came to me because of these silly guys online. And they didn't all last, but some did. I saw them live in November with one of those friends I made all those years ago because of them.

Dan and Phil truly raised me. They created a space where I had two incredible role models, I was watching content that was safe and made by safe people, and they kept me creative. But they also saved my life. And they continue to be one of the things that keeps me going. They came into my life at a time when everything was falling apart and I was ready to give up, and pulled me back to my feet and told me it was worth it to keep going. And anytime I'm in a bad spot, they're one of the things that helps draw me back out.

They've grown and changed so much in the last 15 years, and I definitely have to, but a constant that will never change is my appreciation for these two and all they've done and continue to do. Thank you, Dan and Phil. For being you, in all the ways, and for showing me I can be too.

[gmasttin]

Really Good, Actually | Kylian Mbappé

| Summary: A Madrid-based creative unexpectedly finds herself leading the rebranding of Kylian Mbappé. Between cold coffees, impossible deadlines, and tense creative sessions, something more than just a campaign begins to take shape. An ironic, intimate, and emotionally sharp story about the chaos of feeling alive just when you thought you were only surviving.

| Chapter 2 is already out!!

| 3.6k words

| A/n: I read the book “Really Good, Actually” by Monica Heisey and after binging a bunch of romcoms, I decided to finally start and post one. A lighthearted story, with some romcom vibes, that I’d actually been thinking about writing for quite a while. I hope you enjoy it, and sorry for any mistakes, it's the first one I've ever written and as it's obvious, English is not my first language. Enjoy <3.

Chapter 1

Back when life was simpler, and all you had to worry about were Tupperware containers, briefs, and whether you’d make it to the 7 p.m. Pilates class.

Some mornings, you wake up with this strange sense of clarity, like everything’s aligned. The coffee’s just right, the subway arrives on time, no one crushes your toes with a pair of impossible stilettos in their rushed way to their fancy offices.

This is not one of those mornings. You’re not sure if it’s because of the weird dream (the one where you’re marrying Louis, your ex, except he’s the one wearing that wedding dress you kept eyeing, and of course, his mother steals your spot at the altar), or because you ended up arguing with your own mother again, over text, at 12:47 a.m.

But something’s off.

You feel it in the way your toothbrush slips out of your hand, at least three times. Or how your coat gets caught on the door handle right when you’re running late. Also in the fact that, for some reason, you’re wearing two completely different shoes and don’t notice until you’re already in the elevator.

You don’t go back to change them. After all, no one looks at your feet in a marketing agency. Unless you work in fashion. And you don’t work in fashion.

You work in “emotionally driven brand storytelling strategy.” Which is just a fancy way of saying you come up with excuses for people to buy things they don’t need.

At 9:08, you get to the office. You know this because the biometric check-in clock reminds you, like a threat. You throw on your jacket with the defeated air of someone who already knows there’s no hot coffee left for her.

There are two people in the office's kitchen: Lucía, who always looks like she’s either about to cry or fall in love, and Guillermo, who speaks with an exaggeratedly British accent that no one really understands.

“Morning,” he says without looking up from his phone.

“How are you?” you reply, not because you care, but because silence feels even more aggressive.

“Busy. So busy. We have that pitch with the Swiss skincare brand at eleven. And then there’s the meeting.”

Ah. The meeting.

Your boss had announced it yesterday on Teams with the gravity of someone introducing the new Messiah:

“Tomorrow, we have an important meeting. Very important. Like, potential long-term strategic client important. I need your best brains, team. Bring attitude.”

You head back to your desk, a white table that’s far too small, which you share with three other people and a dying plant everyone pretends not to be turning their backs on.

On your screen, thirty-seven tabs are open. Nine are unfinished briefs, three are online clothing stores, and one is a search for: “how to tell if you’re having an emotional breakdown or just sleep-deprived.”

You take a deep breath. Open your calendar. The event is there:

10:30 – Confidential meeting.Subject: Project Star.Attendees: Management, PR, you.

You. Lowercase. Like a typo someone forgot to fix.

You try to focus. Take a sip of your coffee (cold). Open the Excel file with your corporate smile, the one you once practiced in the kitchen mirror. But it doesn’t last.

Because at 10:28, you get a direct message from HR:

Marta (HR): | Head up to Room 5. They’re all here. Including him 👀

Including him.

Who is him? And why that emoji?

Room 5 is the good room. The one with the Scandinavian sofas and the fancy capsule coffee machine. It’s almost always empty, as if reserved for things that matter. Or for people who earn more in a year than you will in your entire career.

When you walk in, the first thing you see is your boss, wearing that smug “I closed this deal even though I didn’t do anything” smile. Then three people you don’t recognize. Suits. Serious. A woman holding a folder full of documents, and two men who look like they haven’t laughed since 2017.

And then you see him.

He’s sitting in the corner of the sofa, staring at his phone like it’s blowing up. White shirt, sleeves rolled up, expensive watch. The kind of person who doesn’t need an introduction because you’ve already seen his face twenty times—on bus stop billboards, Nike campaigns, and a live-through nightmare involving penalty kicks and your grandmother’s best friend, who is Argentine.

Kylian. The footballer. That one.

Your first thought was: He’s even better looking in real life. Your second was: Don’t look impressed.

Your boss catches your eye and motions for you to sit down.

“This is Y/N, our trusted creative director,” your boss says in that tone he uses when he’s trying to sound cool and young, despite he is entering his middle 50’s. 

You smile as best you can. Your heart’s pounding like it’s doing cardio on your behalf.

Kylian looks up. And for a fraction of a second, he looks at you.

Not in a “who are you?” kind of way, but more like “right, so you’re the one who’s supposed to fix this.”

You sit down on the opposite end of the sofa. Far enough not to seem intimidating. Close enough to pretend you’re not trying to seem anything at all.

Your boss clears his throat. That thing he always does right before saying something that sounds like a headline but means absolutely nothing.

“Well, as I was saying, this is a special project. A unique opportunity to… rewrite the narrative.”

“Rewrite the narrative” is his new favorite phrase. He’s been using it ever since someone said it at a networking event and he jotted it down on his iPhone, right next to gems like “pivot from authenticity” and “emotional capital.”

“Kylian is entering a new chapter,” he adds, as if talking about a divorce or a spiritual awakening. “His team wants to work on his personal brand from a more honest place. More connected. Something… human.”

Kylian says nothing. Still staring at his phone. Like none of this matters. Like he’d honestly rather be out training in the rain or under 600-watt studio lights.

One of the women across the table finally speaks. She looks like she handles PR. Her voice sounds like one of those self-help podcasts that tell you everything happens for a reason while selling you a course on productivity.

“We want people to meet the real Kylian. Not just the athlete. The boy who grew up in the suburbs, who loves art, who’s investing in cultural initiatives for young people.”

The boy who loves art. Right. Like every bored millionaire who collects neon sculptures and Warhol prints they don’t even understand.

“We’re thinking of a series of documentary-style content—something intimate but visually strong. Also, a small social media campaign where he speaks directly to the audience. No filter.”

Your boss nods, enthusiastically, as he adds.

“And that’s why we have Y/N. Our top creative. Brilliant. With a unique sensitivity. She knows how to connect with difficult audiences. She’s worked with NGOs, tech start-ups, an inclusive pottery workshop…”

Your name, your career, your work, it all sounds like it’s being read out loud at your professional funeral. You smile. Because that’s what’s expected.

You turn toward Kylian. He looks at you. Finally. As if he’s only just now mentally arrived in the room.

“You write the scripts?” he asks. His voice is deeper than you expected. Like someone who doesn’t rush his sentences.

“I write the ideas,” you reply. “The scripts too. But if everything goes well, no one will remember the words. Just how it made them feel.”

You’re not sure why you said that. Maybe because it sounds like something a brilliant creative would say. Maybe because you’re just a little tired of being treated like a walking PowerPoint.

He nods. Says nothing else.

Your boss clears his throat again. There are more details, of course: deadlines, photo shoots, potential trips, a budget no one dares to say out loud. Words like “engagement,” “authenticity,” and “rebranding” hover in the air like LinkedIn mosquitoes.

And you, meanwhile, are sitting there wondering how this even happened. How you went from creating ad campaigns for titanium frying pans to looking into the eyes of someone who’s probably going to be the next football legend.

At the end of the meeting, he stands and everyone follows.

You stay behind a little longer, unsure if you should head back to your desk or pretend you need to go over your notes.

He turns at the door. Gives you a quick glance. Like he’s not sure whether to say goodbye.

“So, I guess I’ll see you soon,” he says.

And without thinking too much, you reply: “Looks like it.”

Later, in the office kitchen and dining area, Lucía looks at you like you just had dinner with Brad Pitt, her eternal crush.

“So? What was he like? Was he nice? Did he talk to you?”

“He asked me one question.”

“And? How was it? Can you tell he’s French?”

“Not really. You can tell he didn’t want to be here.”

She laughs. “So basically, just like you. Soulmates.”

You pour yourself more coffee. Even though it’s already noon and you know you shouldn’t. But you need something to remind you you’re still awake. That this wasn’t just a celebrity reality show fever dream.

Your boss messages you on Teams:

“Great impression. He liked you. Work your magic.”

Work your magic. As if it were that easy. As if magic weren’t, almost always, just logistics and anxiety.

You spend the afternoon going through the briefing. They’ve sent you a 17-page document titled: “A New Era: Humanizing the Legend.”

The title alone makes you want to jump out the window.

The phrases are full of vague objectives: — Position an emotional identity. — Connect with non-sports audiences. — Turn notoriety into relatability.

There are black-and-white photos of him. One with a vintage bike. Another reading a book with no title. A third holding a little girl (his niece, according to the caption). You wonder which parts of all this are real. And which ones you’ll have to invent.

You start jotting down notes. On a post-it, you write:

What if instead of pretending he’s “the guy next door,” we show him as someone who also had to fight for what he truly wanted? Distance as truth. Fame as fracture.

You like that sentence. Fame as fracture.

You stick it to the edge of your monitor. Right next to another post-it that says: – Call the dentist. – Stop stalking Louis. – Buy tampons.

The next morning unfolds like the mornings of the past six months: fast, half-hearted, with a light drizzle of anxiety—which today, for obvious reasons, feels slightly more intense.

You’ve been summoned to a more intimate meeting. Proposed by his PR manager. Just you, the PR manager, and him.

It’s in a coworking space in Chamberí that looks like a Pinterest café with people-pleasing issues.

When you arrive, they’re already seated. He’s wearing a cap. And sunglasses. Indoors. As if he didn’t want anyone to recognize him.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hi,” he replies. Dry. Tired. Then silence.

The PR manager talks for eleven straight minutes. You know it because you count it mentally. He nods occasionally, as if he’s listening. But you watch him and know he’s not really there. So you go for it.

“Sorry. Can I ask something?”

They both turn to you. The PR manager, with a thin smile, the kind that expects you to compliment her long monologue where she’s said everything and absolutely nothing. The kind of monologue that’s made you consider requesting medical leave and handing this project off to someone else, if all future meetings are going to be like this.

“Do you actually want to do this?” you continue.

He blinks. “This?”

“Yeah. The campaign. The rebrand. Are you actually interested in it, or are you here because someone told you to be?”

The PR manager shoots you a look that could be categorized as brand sabotage.

Kylian, however, laughs. A short laugh. But a real one.

“Does it matter?”

“A lot. If you’re not into it, it’s going to show. And if it shows, everyone’s going to see it. And if they see it, they’ll call you fake. And, then we’ll have to redo the whole campaign, but this time using the drama as the hook.”

He looks at you. “All right. I’ll try.”

“Try what?”

“To care.”

You nod and make a mental note: Functional sarcasm. Potential sense of humor. Possibly shy (or just reserved, does he not like me? If so, bad start). Possibly just fed up.

They send you clips of him “for inspiration.” Interviews. Matches. Viral moments.

There’s one in particular. A phone-recorded video on a plane. He’s on his phone. Someone off-camera asks if he’s nervous about the final. He answers:

“No. I’m tired.”

Tired. Not in a physical sense. Existentially tired.

That’s the crack. That’s where you can slip in.

The next day, he shows up at the office. Unannounced. Wearing a watch that probably costs more than a year’s rent on your flat, and the look of someone who Googled “how to dress normal” this morning and gave up halfway.

It’s four in the afternoon. You’re working the late shift today, you swapped with Mireia so you could work in a quieter environment, with fewer people to distract you while you try to figure out how the hell you’re supposed to frame this project.

“I’m here to work with you,” he says, walking toward your desk. The desk you’ve been saying for over a month now that you’ll tidy up, because honestly, it’s starting to get embarrassing. And now the embarrassment is fully devouring you from the inside out.

“Did you bring ideas? Proposals? Do you want to change something in the project?” you ask, because you’re not entirely sure why he’s here.

He doesn’t trust me, does he?

To be fair, your boss didn’t exactly sell you very well. And you wouldn’t trust someone either if they looked like they hadn’t been laid properly in five months and seventeen days (which, if asked, wouldn’t be too far from the truth), to run the documentary that’s supposed to reinvent your public image.

“No.”

You raise an eyebrow. Definitely doesn’t trust me. You think. Or maybe his PR manager sent him to spy on you, because she also doesn’t trust how you do your job, especially after you, let’s be honest, gently shredded hers the other day.

He grabs a spare chair and sits next to you, stealing Pablo’s seat, who’s now watching the interaction from the water machine like it’s a live episode of something he didn’t know he needed.

“These ‘meetings’ usually happen with PR,” you tell him. “You don’t have to be here. They can send you the details.”

“I don’t care,” he shrugs. “It’s a project about my life, right? I should know what’s being said. And what’s not.”

Then, with just the right amount of cheek: “Got any coffee? Pour me one.”

You stare at him. Did he just tell me to make him coffee? Like I’m his assistant?

And you stare a little longer. He holds your gaze, half-smirking, half-testing. That kind of expression that doesn’t fully commit to being rude or polite. As if he hasn’t decided which version of himself is most useful in a Madrid office on a Tuesday afternoon.

You inhale. Slowly.

“We don’t have personal assistants here.”

You get up. Walk toward the coffee machine without looking back. Spine straight. Jaw set. Your version of saying don’t mess with me without saying it.

“Then make us both one,” he adds from your chair, like that somehow makes it better.

The laugh escapes before you can stop it. Dry. More of a stylish snort than a laugh, really.

“Sugar? Or do you want me to draw your logo in the foam?”

“No sugar. I'm in season, gotta watch the sweets.” He says it softer this time. Almost like an apology.

When you come back with the two mugs, he’s already leaned into your monitor. Arms crossed. Eyes fixed on the project timeline you’d left open.

“All this... you do it alone?” he asks, not looking at you.

“Did you think I had a team?”

Now he turns. Looks at you fully. Something’s shifted in his face, like irony was the password to get into his world.

“No. It’s just... a lot.”

You shrug.

“It is. But hey, at least no one makes me chase a ball for a living.”

He laughs. An unexpected one. Brief. Almost sweet. And that’s when it hits you: He’s not just looking at you. He’s watching you. Like he’s trying to figure something out about you that’s not in your resumé.

The next forty minutes, you work in silence. Or at least, what passes for “working” when two people are hyper-aware of each other and there's a quiet tension in the air that neither of you knows how to name yet.

Every now and then, he asks something. About the script tone. The order of the clips. Whether his accent is “too French” for a voiceover.

“Do you think I should speak Spanish in the videos?” he asks.

You consider it.

“If you want people to see you’re making an effort, yes. If you want to sound perfect, no.”

“I want to sound real.”

“Then leave it as it is. With mistakes. With pauses. With ‘ehh’ and ‘I don’t know.’”

He nods. And something opens there. Just a crack. A window slit. But it’s real.

He’s smarter than he looks. You realize that somewhere between the conversation on narratives, social media, and how to show vulnerability without sounding like a performance. He has opinions. He asks. He listens.

And you... You’re confused. Because you don’t know if this is still work. Or if you’re slowly being pulled into the gravity of it all. Of him. Of this moment.

At some point, he laughs at something you say and looks at you like you’re brilliant. Not beautiful. Brilliant. And for some reason, that disarms you more than any physical compliment.

The next day, at 10:36 a.m., the unofficial break time for Lucía, as if the universe had conspired for this conversation to happen, Lucía shows up at your desk with a cookie in hand.

“Was it real? He was here? Pablo told me.”

You raise your gaze to meet Lucía’s eyes, like she’s reached the juiciest part of a novel she can’t stop reading. You simply nod and turn your attention back to the monitor of your computer.

“So, how was it?”

You glance at your empty coffee cup resting next to the mountain of discarded post-its, all with ideas that still don’t quite fit this project. Ideas that seem to wander like echoes, failing to capture the essence.

“Strange.”

“Strange good or strange bad?” Lucía insists, now sitting on the edge of your desk, making it feel like an interrogation. 

You sigh, gathering your thoughts.

“Strange ‘I want him back.’” You admit, letting yourself be pulled into that mix of confusion and realization you’ve been keeping to yourself.

You told her about that strange back-and-forth, that feeling you couldn’t quite describe, but Lucía, after hearing it, defined it as “professional flirting in disguise.”

“We’re not flirting.”

“Of course you are. It’s just that instead of telling him you love his smile, you told him his current storytelling is weak and redundant.”

“Because it is.”

“And he looked at you like he wanted you to write his biography and emotional resume.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Girl, I’m telling you, as a friend and as someone who’s seen all the seasons of The Bold Type, that guy cares more about your feedback than winning the Ballon d'Or.”

Exaggerations aside, something was there. A subtle thread of mutual curiosity, something that was growing without you realizing. And now, here you were: immersed in a project that would last several weeks, working alongside him. Defining the tone of his communication, developing digital pieces, planning interviews… All while trying to maintain your composure and stay focused on your workday.

You’ve come to the conclusion that it all boils down to the fact that you were bored.

You could say it was the algorithm. You could blame a well-executed digital strategy. You could use any excuse, really, and not be lying. But deep down, you know it was that. Boredom. The deadliest of mental states.

And there you were, last night, a Wednesday, with your emergency bun and a lopsided dinner in front of you, watching a video of Kylian Mbappé talking about motivation in a square format with black-and-white subtitles. He wore a white shirt, the collar a little stretched, and several buttons undone. And you wore what was left of your self-esteem and a glass of supermarket red wine.

The worst part is, the video wasn’t bad. The worst part is, it actually seemed sincere. It was in English, with a strong accent and a hesitant intonation, like he was afraid of offending the language. He said things like, "you can’t be your best version if you don’t know who you are," and you nodded. YOU NODDED. After that, you turned off your phone as if it had slapped you and went to bed without washing your face. Because boredom doesn’t just make you vulnerable; it also makes you lazy.

You told Lucía the story as if it were some ridiculous anecdote. Something to laugh about during her unofficial coffee break. But Lucía, who is not just your coworker but your version with steroids, looked at you as if you’d said something important.

“Girl, what if this is a sign?”

“A sign of what?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

“That you need a change. Or a quickie. Or both.”

[yuurivoice]

Did you ever think about rebranding or changing your user from yuurivoice when you moved into doing mostly original stuff? I know it'd be a pain in the ass, especially nowadays, I'm just curious if it came up

-someone who's been around since the Yuuri audios

If you look up the ancient Tumblr post teaching people how to rip Tumblr audio mp3s, the screenshot example is deadass a YuuriVoice audio. Feel old yet? 😂

The window of time would have been shortly after Yuri On Ice wrapped up. Had it been any other fandom, maybe I would have. But it would have felt gross, even if it made all the sense in the world. There was too much love. That fandom was the fertile soil my roots found and allowed me to grow, afforded me to get off of food stamps, to have my own Christmas tree, to make my cat Tom's final years spoiled and pampered, introduced me to the people i now consider family.

Yuuri wasn't a stepping stone. While I definitely support people who begin doing fandom audios with intent to grow into doing their own thing, I arrived at YuuriVoice out of a genuine love and excitement for the series. I had failed at everything I'd tried up til that point. Any project I started with intent to make it a thing went up in flames. This blog was me choosing to just do something for fun because I wanted to be happy and a part of something. And I was embraced.

So yeah, I thought about it. But honestly? I think it's charming. And it's distinct. And it ties directly to this batshit insane journey I've been on.

I'm happy with it. 💖

[majimemegoro]

Kamurocho dashboard simulator

🏵 tojoc0re Follow

nishiki was 27 years old???

🏵 tojoc0re Follow

he shouldnt have been made a patriarch the dragon of dojima would of been better at it :/

( 420 notes )

📸 daily-mac-photos Follow

#kamurocho #tokyo #tenkaichi street #japan landscapes #photographers of japan #travel #cyberpunk #not as zesty as my usual subject matter but #lmao pls reblog this i almost got beat up by color gang members taking this photo

( 79 notes )

🦢 chinpiraposting Follow

my hungry ass can't be left alone with staminam x i suck those bad boys down like juice

( 9,839 notes )

🚲 wackycyclist Follow

.

#the entitlement i see on this site sometimes is disgusting #y'all will just post about having easy access to bicycles??? #some of us had our bicycles wrecked in fights??? #vent #do not rb

( 3 notes )

🗡 koinodiscoqueen Follow

CALLOUT FOR SHIMANO FUTOSHI

I've talked a lot about this already on this blog, but I want to have everything collected in one post so next time some dipshit with a hannya hand icon slides into my inbox to call me a liar I can just link to this post. tl;dr shimano futoshi made my cousin feel realy unsafe while she was shaving his head, and here are the receipts:

Keep reading

( 38 notes )

🚡 matsushigeboss-deactivated30190547

fr we need to stop letting twunks be in charge of anything

( 3 notes )

🍜 i<3kazama Follow

i stg if one more of you tells me the old yakuza way is dying I KNOW ALREADY shut UP

#feel like pure shit just want cold noodles

( 1,930 notes )

📖 kamuroscamwatch Follow

today's scam: Aha water (again)

Was walking down pink street when I got stopped by a barker who promised that all my problems could be solved..., long story short, anyone remember Aha water from the 80s? Well, they rebranded as AHA water (subtle, I know) and they''re back at it. I stalked the people who make it and they literally collected puddle water from the champion district to put in the concoction. I didn't really feel well after drinking it, but the overall experience was good because they totally tapped into that nostalgia. Overall a really solid scam. Stay safe out there kamurocho.

4/5 stars

#scamblr #aha water #1980s #scams #scam rating #safety #scam review

( 12 notes )

👺 hannya69 Follow

batting center is a normal place to get nastay in reblog if u agree

( 58,274 notes )

🚗 thepocketcricuitfighter Follow

Does anyone here still play pocket circuit? :)

( 0 notes )

📈 reglarsalaryman Follow

wtf this guy just ripped off his shirt in the street and started whaling on some guys?? everyone else started clapping and cheering and I just went along with it lmao 😅 am I missing something????

#this is right after he sang a song and saved a couple from jumping off a building #he was glowing too.... #average night in kamurocho

( 85 notes )

🐛 majimaunderlingbaddiebracket Follow

ULTIMATE HOTTEST MAJIMA UNDERLING BADDIE TOURNAMENT FINALS!!!!

🔘 shinji-deactivated30190303

here y'all go again pitting two bad bitches against each other

🌀 jingusforehead Follow

🌊 thugbaby Follow

everyone who voted minami is an arson apologist #nishidasweep

( 4,271 notes )

🔥 businessboi Follow

fuck my job so much. everyone manifest an attack on millennium tower so I can go home.

🔥 businessboi Follow

by talos this can't be happening

( 38,386 notes )

[hailruth]

Hello! I came across this blog while looking at menorahs and wanted to ask why Messianic Judaism/Messianic Jews are disliked. I used to be part of the Messianic Jewish circle but escaped as of a couple of months ago as it didn’t seem to correct preserve history and was using the Bible for fetishizing extreme punishment (like the Hebrew Roots/Hebrew Israelite movements). I understand they wanted to preserve historical traditions but something still felt very off and predatory about it. What are the red flags one should look out for when this group tries to indoctrinate someone?

disclaimer: i'm writing this on mobile so there's a high chance of spelling/grammar mistakes. look back for any future edits or comments with resource or corrections. tumblr kept deleting some very important paragraphs and i'm too frustrated to make this a very polished post.

okay, first things first: messianic judaism never has been and never will be jewish. they are not accepted by any jewish denominations and the christian consensus is that they are christian. institutions such as the u.s. military (where messianic "jewish" chaplains have to wear the insignia of the cross meant for christian chaplains and not the ten commandments for jewish chaplains) and the supreme court of israel agree that they are christian. judaism is not just a religion, it is an ethnicity and a tribe. the majority of messianics have no connection to judaism in the slightest. people who have converted to actual judaism have gone through a lengthy process of assimilation into this ethnicity. their language, calendar (and very conception of time), diet, clothing, body, community, family, etc. is changed forever once they convert. you can't just decide to be jewish, as messianics have done. the fact that some messianic "jews" are ethnically jewish is incidental and means nothing for the jewishness of the religion.

i was so thankful when this post came out about a year ago because it condenses the main points i've been making for a while: "messianic christian red flags" (by jewitches on instagram). it has a list of things to look out for which can help you spot messianic "judaism" masquerading as actual judaism. but i will still explain my arguments in this post. i also recommend jews for judaism.

however, there's still some points i want to outline in this post. most importantly: the goal of messianic "judaism" is not to preserve any kind of history, but to target jews for conversion to christianity. there are claims that it grew out of a movement of jews who converted to christianity but kept onto some jewish practices (which would make them apostates). but this is absolutely not what the movement is, it's very clear that it actually came to be in order to eradicate judaism (by converting all jews to christianity). as the post i linked above points out, two good examples are that the board of missions to the jews became chosen people ministries and the hebrew christian alliance of america became the messianic jewish alliance of america. these were christian orgs whose entire purpose was to target jews for christian conversion, who rebranded to messianic orgs because the function of messianic judaism is to convert jews.

the messianic movement and organizations target jews via extremely deceptive and predatory tactics. the biggest issue that every jew faces when trying to google anything about judaism (which is often the case for jews who already don't know much about their religion and don't have a community with a rabbi to go to) is messianic sources doing their absolute best to look jewish. often times, you have to scour a site providing "information" on jewish holidays, traditions, etc. until you finally encounter something about "yeshua." the post linked above is very helpful for avoiding these sites. this isn't just a digital phenomenon. messianic churches are often disguised as synagogues and mark themselves as such on sites like google maps (i know there have been initiatives to get their labeling changed to that of churches on these sites). there are countless examples of these churches pretending to be synagogues in order to lure in and hopefully convert jews who do not know better.

messianics constantly pretend to be real jews in order to infiltrate jewish communities. i don't have to explain how weird it is to pretend to be of a certain ethnicity in order to force your way into their rituals and lives. this ties into the entire fake synagogue issue from the previous paragraph, but extends far further than that. a few years ago, for example, a jewish politician invited who she thought was a rabbi to pray at an event. this "rabbi" ended up being a messianic. jews across the country were, of course, deeply disturbed by this and it was condemned. messianics aren't stupid, they know what we think and what they are doing, this is an intentional action. there are countless examples of this and it is never anything but vile.

if you want to pretend that judaism is this perfect precursor to jesus whose entire function was to predict his arrival, you're going to have to smash it to unrecognizable bits in order to build anything that'll support such a cause. it's never going to work. many core beliefs of christianity are antithetical to judaism, making the two fundamentally incompatible and different religions. saying otherwise is ahistorical and disrespectful to the thousands of years of separate cultural development of these two religions.

i haven't proofread this and refuse to do so at the moment, but i don't want to keep you waiting on a response. i hope this can help you understand why jews are very much not fans of messianics. if you have any further questions/something isn't clear, feel free to ask whenever.

[raavenb2619]

Can you talk more about aromanticism in Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep :o But yeah as someone who read the book before watching the movie, I thought it was weird they didn't include how animals were super important in the world as a sign of empathy and showing empathy was a status symbol.

Yes, I would love to talk more about this! I have a bunch of incomplete thoughts rattling around in my brain about Blade Runner and Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, including about the interesting parts of the book that were cut, like Mercerism, the importance of animals, the empathy boxes, the emotion dialing machines, the spider scene, the other police department, the use and non-use of the empathy test, the fact that multiple androids can share the same face, and the narrative/story treatment of Rachel. I'd like to organize and share my thoughts with other people, but first: I need to watch Blade Runner 2049 because I've heard it's got things for me to analyze, compare, and contrast with the original film and the novel; then I need to decide how many versions of the original film I need to watch and analyze (so far I've only seen The Final Cut, which seems to be the version most people like and recommend, but I think that having Deckard narrate sections could change the worldbuilding and potentially add roboticism that I felt was lacking in The Final Cut); then I probably need to spend some time piecing my ideas together into something coherent that other people can read and understand, but then I'd love to publish my thoughts (probably as an essay on Wordpress, though maybe something a bit more informal) and let people read it and have a conversation about it.

How long will that take? I don't really know. My Frozen essay took four months; DADoES + BR + BR 2049 might take longer because there's more material to analyze. But by asking for my thoughts, you've somehow given me the motivation and inspiration to actually write something about this. (So, thank you for that :).) I'd also like to try to share some of my progress, thoughts, realizations, and questions as they happen on Tumblr, because I'm interested in doing media analysis with other people (and because that might reduce the risk of me losing motivation while working on this), so I may end up rebranding my blog a bit at some point.

Here are some other media analysis/writing things that I'd like to do some day. It turns out that other people asking what my thoughts are on a thing is a really good motivator for me to write down what my thoughts are on a thing, so if anyone wants to encourage me to write an essay or blog post about any parts of any of the following topics, feel free to send me an ask:

Wicked (the musical). One angle I'd like to explore is looking at the musical through an aromantic lens, and reading Elphaba as alloaro/alloaro-aligned. I might broaden the scope to look at other Wizard-of-Oz media, and maybe also aro-aligned villains and aro-aligned anti-heros in media, but maybe that would be better served as a series of essays/blog posts and not an essay so long it should be a book. There's also so much musical/motivic analysis I need to do of Wicked, it has so much depth and I still find more things when I relisten to the music.

The portrayal of robots in fiction. One angle I'd like to explore is, "why are robots and aromanticism linked?" And I'm not happy with the shallow answer of "robots don't have emotions and people think aromantic means you don't have emotions"; I want to actually know "why are robots and aromanticism linked? How did the portrayal of robots evolve for there to be a link? Was that inevitable, or could robots have turned out differently so that they weren't liked to aromanticism? What does the linking of robots and aromanticism say about society and fictional depictions of humanity and lack thereof?" I also need to rewatch and actually finish Battlestar Galactica, though I think that might be more interesting through an ace lens than an aro lens.

Isaac Asimov's fiction and related works. I've been reading a lot of his fiction in publishing order in part because of my interest in the origin of robots and aromanticism, but there's definitely interesting things to be said about his novels and short stories, and also the Foundation TV series, such as how they treat love. (I also want an excuse to rewatch all the episodes just to answer nerdy music theory questions about Demerzel and does she have two musical motifs and why is one very legato and lilting and the other is staccato and halting and is that representing an inner struggle between her humanity and her roboticism?)

An analysis of @kernsing's aromantic sonnet #1 (this is still on my todo list, I got busy but didn't forget, but I have Things to say and I want to Find even More Things to say about this poem)

"Why Beauty and the Beast (1991) is fundamentally arophobic and can't be fixed." Okay, I haven't thought about this in a while so it's possible my perspective has changed and I'll find a way that the story could be changed to not be arophobic, but I know that the conclusion I came to a while ago was that the story structure itself was fundamentally problematic and that changing it enough to make it no longer be arophobic would require changing the story structure so much that it would be a fundamentally different story. This would not exactly be a fun essay to read or write, because I can't imagine many people enjoy someone digging into why a movie so many people love is arophobic to its core, but I'd still like to do it, some day.

Is "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" a distant relative of "Beauty and the Beast"? (I mean the story structure, not genetics/family trees.)

An analysis of Walt Disney Animation Studios films over the years. After my Frozen essay I spent like a month watching almost every Walt Disney Animation Studios film and tracking how the films treated a bunch of different aspects (e.g. sex, romance, marriage, third wheel, kissing, jealousy, love, true love, meet-cutes, queerness, gender, sexism, transmisogyny, homophobia, multiple concrete aspects of amatonormativity, queercoding). But I never really tabulated or aggregated my notes.

The discarded best friend trope (this is an arophobic trope I noticed and came up with a name for), and some examples and subversions of it.

Why does High School Musical (and HSM 2 and HSM 3) lack romantic love songs despite being a loose retelling of Romeo and Juliet that allegedly preserves the central romance? What are the queer things that can be found in the movies? What would I do if I could remake it as a multi-season TV show that was overflowing with explicit queerness that touched on things that weren't shown in the movies? Can I be normal about Kelsi? (I absolutely can't)

Why does Heartstopper (the TV show) make me read Tao as aro all the time?

Fairy tales! What is a fairy tale? Fairy tales through an aro lens! Do fairy tales have a distinct musical sound/style/identity? Has the musical sound of fairy tales changed over time?

Why do stories typically have room for a heroic love interest, but not a villainous love interest? (I'm not happy with the shallow answer of "because of amatonormativity/arophobia". I want to know, why are stories like this? Does it have to do with the structure and pacing of stories? How do pure narrative reasons interact with societal forces and expectations?)

"Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games has always felt aspec to me, and here's why." The last time I read through the trilogy, I felt she came across as demi I think? It might be interesting to compare the books to the movies and look at what and how the adaptation changes, especially with regards to romance, relationships, and aspec coding.

Something about how you can have in depth discussions about aspec politics without using aspec terminology, and maybe using too much aspec terminology makes conversations in the aspec community less accessible to new aspecs as well as well-meaning and open-minded allos who would be better allies to us if they could more easily understand what we talk about. When it comes to things like amatonormativity and allonormativity and the societal norms and issues we face, the more people who understand us and agree with us, the easier it'll be to shift society to be better for aspecs. So, sometimes it makes sense to try to talk about complicated, in-depth aspec issues using as little specialized terminology as possible.

Something something aro Celeste. A while ago a friend joked that I should do an aro analysis of Celeste, and then I started actually thinking about it and saying words and they realized they'd made a mistake, but I never wrote down any of the thoughts I had. Just brainstorming here, but there's probably something I could say about Crystal Hearts as collectibles that gate access to more difficult content and have three different art styles depending on where they appear and how they push you away unless you dash into them and break them and how you can die after collecting a Crystal Heart, Madeline's ex, Madeline and Theo's friendship and Grannie and Theo's grandfather's friendship, Madeline and Badeline's story arc through a "Show Yourself"-like aro lens, and Theo's instagram photos of Madeline doing archery. (This essay would be more on the silly side of things, basically proving that given enough disparate pieces in media I can cobble them together with thumbtacks and red string to make shapes that don't exist. And yes, I came up with the brainstorming list in about 5 minutes off the cuff while writing this bullet point)

An aro reading of Homestuck. I would need to finish Homestuck first, and I'm going to start from the beginning at...some point. I remember really liking and getting excited by the "troll QPRs", and I'm probably going to get nerd-sniped by trying to build my own understanding of how leprechaun romance can make sense. (Yes, I know this might be another thumbtacks and red string essay. No spoilers please)

Something about Gravity Falls, The Owl House, She-Ra, Steven Universe, or other similar TV shows?

Tron and Tron: Legacy? Idk I rewatched them semi recently, and expected to dislike the sequel because I had been listening to the album totally wrong. But then I disliked the original and liked the sequel a lot. There's potentially a music theory lens here, but I'm not sure if there's a queer lens here. But that's okay, maybe someone will suggest one, or maybe I'll just write up my thoughts even though there isn't any queerness to speak of, because my media analysis doesn't always have to be through a queer lens.

Something else that I haven't listed here because I don't have an actual list of things anywhere and I've probably forgotten multiple things?

Something I haven't thought of? If you want to know my thoughts on something or want me to analyze something, feel free to send an ask or a reblog or something. No promises I'll answer in a timely fashion (or ever), but I might

[cozycottagetarot]

Quick Pick: Messages From Your Person

Hello, my loves! It's been way too long, but I'm finally back (hopefully for a long time) with a new reading as well as a bit of a rebrand. Today's reading is focused on messages from your person (kind of in the realm of a future spouse but generally a long-term partner) but I think for some of you it may come across as a current partner as well.

This is a pretty experimental reading for me. I want to start including an 'energy check' of sorts to help you better figure out if a pile is for you or not. I've done 'channelled' messages before but I felt weird about them so I've decided to give it a try again. The message aspect of this reading is just a free-flow writing of the cards that were pulled. And of course, I decided to play around a little bit more with my graphics. I'm always open to feedback, so I'd love to gather your thoughts on the set-up and reading itself.

Elle 🌿

P.S. I'm trying to re-do my masterlist but can't locate all my old pacs easily. If you come across one, I wouldn't mind if you send me the link. 🙏

Support My Work | MASTERLIST

Disclaimer: When reading tarot, my aim is to focus on self-reflection and seeking guidance. The readings you'll find here are designed to add a pinch of fun and entertainment to your day. While I might sprinkle in some advice that hopefully vibes with you, please remember that these insights aren't a substitute for any professional advice you might need-- after all, you know your journey best! For any love-related or future-focused readings, consider them captivating musings exploring possibilities. Divination inspired stories even. I can't predict the future but I do hope to add some enjoyment and insights into your everyday. Lastly my darlings, please take from these readings what resonates with you most, be it some, all or none, and leave the rest. 🌟

PILE 1

Note: Pile 1 your pile gave me absolute hell the first time around 😭. I was writing/channelling the message and the energy literally just gave way at one point, I was flabbergasted 🫨. Anyway, the second pull was much clearer, but I included notes I felt were important from the first pull in the post-reading notes section.

Your Energy:

Going through an awakening. A need or call for self-reflection. A new cycle is beginning. You must face what you are running from within, but you must also be patient. Rely on your inner strength. Needing to learn more about yourself before doing/trying something different. Potentially finding yourself in part of a mentorship. Connecting with people similar to yourself. Navigating regrets. Needing to let go of the old you. Needing to ground yourself.  A strong energy of needing to look within yourself. It is time to prepare yourself for your next journey.

The Message:

Can you let the past go? We’ve been through so much, the both of us, on our own and together. Why do you hold on to it when our future is waiting for us? I know I hurt you and I apologize. You didn’t deserve any of the pain I caused you. I don’t blame you [it felt like there was a specific reason but I couldn’t get the specifics] but I feel lost without you. I could tell you why, I want to, but words mean nothing without action. You know my story. My relationship with my mother, how that shaped me. You know I love the attention of it all, having everyone’s eyes on me. Makes me feel good.. makes me feel. But no one else’s attention mattered like yours did. I felt most close to myself with you. Please, please let go of that version of me you’re holding onto in your head. I’m taking space because I need to heal. I need to heal my relationship with me first before I can heal it with us. This isn’t goodbye; just so long for now. I’m taking time to put that me in the past too and find myself and what I want from this life. I mean it’s simple really, I want you, us. I want to give you the good life you deserve, but I need to fix myself first. Give me the self-love I deserve.

Post-Reading Notes:

There’s a mature, sad regretful energy. Someone on a journey of self-exploration. Two hurting souls who met at the wrong time. One of you may be further along in your healing journey or you’ve both healed parts of yourself and your relationship that the other one hasn’t healed yet.

First Pull Notes:

One of the first things that came to mind for me is a dark night of the soul… I haven’t heard that term in so long and I’ve completely forgotten what it means, but for someone in this pile, I feel like that may resonate a lot. Going through a tough time. Blow after blow. Your higher self or inner wisdom is trying to reach you. Introspection before a new beginning. An ending of something you don’t want to let go of?

Big things are happening in your life, and significant changes are taking place even though it might not seem that way right now. Lots of air energy. Gaining mental clarity is super important for you right now. Breakup vibes? You two are like opposite sides or motivations of the same energy. Holding on when you know you should let go. This is definitely your person (one of the cards literally says ‘You’re my person’).

PILE 2

Your Energy:

For some of you are at the end of suffering but lying to yourself about the truth of the outcome, while for others you’re running from the mistakes made along the way. Maybe it's both. You’re still grieving all that is lost, be gentle with yourself. Hard work and consistency may await you but keep at it. Adventure is closer than you think. You’re on the brink of success. Moving forward hurts, but you must. Your person (or something you've been romanticising) is waiting for you. You just have to be brave enough to step through the gate. Opportunities are coming your way. If you're interested in floral hobbies or embroidery go for it.

The Message:

I hear you. I haven’t given up on you. I hear the songs you play for me, I hear the songs of your heart. You’re my love, my soulmate. We were meant to be, you and me. You’re not crazy or insane, or any other term you demean yourself with. You’re my everything. I can feel your soul even though we’re apart. If I close my eyes hard enough, I can feel you there. I can see your sparkling soul mirroring mine... sad eyes, bright smile, you leave me in awe. I know you call to me, and I’m sorry I’m not there. Don’t hate me for it, please. I’m leaving behind all that has been holding me back… the same as you. I’m sorry it’s so lonely. I want to meet. What do you say? Impromptu trip to the tropics? Somewhere cold? I just want to escape the world with you and lie in your arms. You’re my home. I sit in your energy and let it guide me your way. But I do need time. Please be patient with me. I haven’t abandoned you. I’m finding me, for you. I dream about you so often and being the kind of person you’d inspire me to be.

Post-Reading Notes:

"I need you to run to me, run to me, lover." (Run by Hozier, the chorus specifically. I know the song is supposed to be a metaphor but I'm suggesting it at face value). A very healing energy to your person's messages. Your person could also fantasise about you a lot... in a non-x-rated 18+ kind of way. It was mentioned on one of the cards but that part of the card felt awkward in the rest of the cards. They’re possessive, it doesn't seem like in a negative or extreme way but again, that's not something that was strong or clear. There’s something to do with the attention of others. They just want to be yours completely… Honestly, a submissive yet dominant kind of energy. A protector and/or provider (take that as you will) who is absolutely smitten with you and will do anything you say.

I don't typically read for it, but one of the cards had twin flame written on it. It could also be symbolic of mirroring each other in your personal journeys in life.

PILE 3

Your Energy:

Powerful yet solitary energy. A new chapter of your life. Accomplishing a big goal. Moving to a new location. Creating a good foundation for yourself in preparation for what comes next. Balancing your energies. Sleep issues. Struggling with anxiety or managing thoughts after a traumatic event. Celebration. Having security. Authoritarian role or vibes.

The Message:

Okay, I can do this: I can’t get you off of my mind. I’m constantly thinking of you, viewing your content, trying to set myself up to run into you. I know it’s silly, especially since you hurt me. Who pines after the person that hurt them? Well, it wasn't meant to be mean. You’re just so mysterious I can’t ever read you and it or you make me nervous. I’m always worrying about what to say. I want to talk to you but opening up to others is hard. I’m afraid I’ll start crying or you’ll hear my voice crack. You’re my person. I’m sure of it. You’re everything I’ve hoped for in a person, everything I dream about before I go to sleep at night. You’re doing so well for yourself, but I want to spoil you and be there for you. Not always materially. I know you can cover that for yourself. But being there for you and spending time with you… I heard you were seeing someone. I hope it’s not true and even if it is, I hope it doesn't last. No, I’m not sorry. I’m going to work up the courage to reach out to you soon.

Post-Reading Notes:

Oh Pile 3, you’re so intimidating to your person. Secret admirer vibes. I definitely think you’ve got a very serious or professional energy and an intimidating appearance. That may especially be true if you’re taller than average for your demographic/s. The energies here feel very balanced or neutral (not heavily feminine or masculine) on both your end and theirs.

PILE 4

Your Energy:

Such a beautiful light-hearted energy. There’s such a beautiful and hopeful energy in this relationship here but it’s also possible someone or something is working against you right now. A very important decision is being made. Someone could be trying to take something from you, but keep going. You’ve got this incredible power/energy to you. Vows are super important, be it making them with someone else or making a vow to yourself to gain or achieve something. Collaboration. Having everything you need to succeed. There could be challengers coming your way but you're strong enough to overcome them.

The Message:

I’m sorry. I don’t know, that was immature of me. I swear it wasn’t like you thought but don’t worry I’m going to do better. Honest. You know, I dream about us being together and growing old. I dream about our kids. They’re so stinking cute. We’ve still got growing to do, ok, or I’ve still got growing to do. Please talk to me. You know I hate it when you give me the silent treatment. I know I disappeared on you and that wasn’t cool. I just get so… I care about you a lot. I don’t want to see you hurt. I want the best for you. I know I act all big and bad but I’m a softie at heart. That fight was weird. I don’t like it. It wasn’t like us. It meant nothing I know. Would you pack up and run away with me if I asked? I hate the distance between us right now. Im always listening to our playlist. I know I acted like I'm uninterested in something serious but I am. I want you. I miss you. I want to spoil you and give you everything you deserve. Just give me a chance. Please hear me out.

Post-Reading Notes:

The vibes while doing the reading felt like very young vibes? There’s a youthfulness there. Someone who either is actually young in age or hasn’t grown up emotionally in a certain aspect. It felt like they did something prideful that was hurtful to you and you two are in a disconnect during the moment captured in the reading. It didn’t feel like a serious fight. More so when you’re upset with someone and acting like you’re madder than you really are (your vibes) and the other person is sweating and begging you to talk to them again (their vibes).

Also, idk why but Peter Parker kept coming into my head 🕸️. I’m not feeling to analyse it so take it as you will.

[passiberri]

I've finally rebranded my tumblr blog, resources page is up next & I will be adding links to everything! ♡

Here's a lil' sneak peek:

[the-volume-is-astronomical]

How would you feel if I walked up to you and ripped your heart out?

a/n: its been so long since I've written, welcome to my new obsession! the title comes from the song Losing You by boy Pablo :] enjoyyyy (THUNDERBOLTS SPOILERS!!!)

Tags: (can be read as pre or during) Sam/Bucky, missing post credit scene, they be arguing, a few characters get mentioned but it’s only the boys

The amount of disdain in Sam’s voice was a complete rarity nowadays but unmistakable through the phone.  

“Is this really how I find out about this new team of yours?”, whispered in a wounded-anger, the worse kind to be directed your way. 

“Sam, augh, Valentina just--”, the exasperate tone was dismissive and definitely not the way to go, but Bucky was tired, 106 years old, and grumpiness came naturally with those two things. 

“Oh do not. Get me started on you working for ‘rebrander of the U.S. Agent’ Fontaine. I got intel from Everett Ross-- do you even know anything about this woman?!”, as he sorted his thoughts into words, the frustration naturally escalated as more reasons to be mad at Bucky popped into his brain. 

“Okay. I know this looks…pretty horrible.”, adjusting to whatever situation comes his way is something Bucky does everyday on the field, so taking a hard left to placate his Cap was par for the course. 

“‘Looks pretty horrible’? I talked to you while Joaquin was in critical condition, to air out everything I had been dealing with because you fucking encouraged me to. The mantle Steve left behind, reconsidering the serum, and the weight on my shoulders because the president wanted me to rebuild the Avengers-- only for you to go and announce the ‘New Avengers’ months later!” 

All energy quickly left Sam, leaving a breathless, “Buck, what did you want me to think?”, behind.

“...I-I’m sorry. Fuck, this does look bad”, taking a small reprive to gather his thoughts by rubbing his eyes. “We were trying to get Valentina arrested. She went behind the curtain-- we didn’t think she was going to have an entire press circut ready!”, who knew sounding innocent, when you are, could be this hard. He's usually guilty of whatever he’s accused, so this is a new experience. 

“She announced us as the new team…Yelena seemed to have a plan because she whispered to her, something like ‘you owe us your life’, knowing her.”

Sam stayed silent for a moment. 

Bucky never feared silence, he still didn’t, but he was not used to wanting to fill it when he was with Sam. It was either comfortable or the other would fill the quiet with the start of some long winded banter. 

“You didnt know the team…was being formed…or that you were in it?”, Sam was cautious with his words, still wary that he will get an answer that will fracture the closest relationship he's allowed himself in years. 

“Of course not, Sam. I would have fucking told you!”, he meant it. Sam respected honesty and earning Sam’s approval had become a constant nagging in the back of his mind for some time. “We’ve been through it together…I- wouldn’t want you to not tell me shit because of a random impeachment case I wanted to get recognition for.” 

“Fine. You didn’t know but why wouldn’t you just… say as much? Tell the press she was full of shit and have her on her way.”, the anger was still there but temporarily brough to a simmer. 

“We thought there could be something to get from this. A new Avenger’s team is in order and they all want recognition, a life of a hero instead of a criminal.”,

“But that’s my responsibility now--”, there was a frustration of when someone has completely missed the point, when you think they’ve finally understood, and they say something to disprove that. 

“Yes but--I’ve been there before…I know how it feels. To go from a Hydra tool to celebrated after Thanos? I couldn’t deny that to anyone else.”, theres been enough conversation similar to this one, Bucky always backed out before getting too close or deep to the truth of what he feels. 

That anger Sam started the conversation with, the hurt, actually made him hesitate. He could still lose him, by being an idiot and not communicating, not explaining what was going in the frozen recesses of his mind. 

That's not an option. 

“Sam, maybe that’s what I was searching for…with this whole campaign for congress”

“D-did you not think I would have you on the team?”, voice a whisper to not allow it to crack, not now. 

“I’m sure you would've. It’s just…in this team, we all have a past, yet we get presented as the ‘New Avengers’. Could you imagine that back then?”, something he could’ve never dreamt of, accomplished. 

“There’s a lot of ‘we’ talk considering the whole lone White Wolf reputation. What bonding could I have missed?”, it was bitter, and ugly, but the anger had caught up to Sam. He was a righteous man, not a saint. 

Bucky, had to deescalate. If the shield fiasco didn’t strain his relationship with Sam, this could still work out.

“Have you heard of trauma bonding? The Void is one nasty power.”, jokes and banter. That’s who they were.

“Why is he on your team? Sentry was unstable and it led to New York being turned into a void, no light, or people, while those inside suffered reliving their worse memories.”, it was worry that drive the accusation. Of course for the general population but mainly Bucky. 

There are so many memories from the Winter Soldier and before then he could be forced to relive. An entire eternity trapped in the Void and he probably wouldn’t run out of memories, literally having more that one lifetime of memories. 

“His name is Bob, pretty pleasant kid. He’s just gone through a lot.”, there was an attempt to make the words sound nicer than he meant them to be but he probably failed. 

“Well that, kid, is dangerous. We should be preventing something like this from happening. Not babying the temporary mass murderer.”, in Sam’s eyes it was so easy to see. They needed a reliable team that could serve and protect. Having someone with such limitless power and trauma packed into one human body hadn’t gone well in the past. 

“Well, Sam. I actually am a serial mass murderer. What are you suggesting be done with me?!”, he couldnt hold back the rage any longer. That boy had been through enough and he wasn’t going to allow any other injustice against him, no matter how well intentioned. 

“That’s not the same.”, it was Sam’s turn to tread carefully. This was sensitive territory and he would never want to distress Bucky, not after all the work he had done. 

“How is it not the same?!”, so much fury behind it.

“Bucky, do you not remember Wanda? I got to know her when we were on the run, she had her demons but she tried, kept them at bay with a support system. In one fell swoop it was all gone. She couldn't handle it. No one would expect her to! But she kidnapped a town, dead to the rest of the world, making them have her nightmares. Sound familiar yet?!”, there was no way Bucky wasn’t understanding what he was trying to get at, it felt purposeful. 

“We can get him a therapist! He has us! Yelena promised to basically never let him out of her sight--”, Bob wasn’t unfixable, wasnt unlovable. He was a much better person than Bucky, his darkest thoughts literally manifested into a supervillain. How could Sam blame him for that?

“Were you not listening to me?! Wanda had all of that. Yet she’s still fucking dead. Went insane trying to get back her dead husband and children that never existed. It can all just---”

“Tell me what would you suggest to keep him in check then?”, there was still the slightest effort to calm down, barely noticeable due to the amount of seethe within him. 

“I was suggesting it could be better to provide him a facility where he could learn to control his powers--”

“Oh, yeah? Sure! Get him to a facility where they can experiment on him. Oh wait! That’s exactly what happened and one of the most disturbing things he’s experienced.”, it was complete irritation and pettiness exuding from Bucky in waves. 

“I know. But maybe that’s the only way to get him to anything near normal after everything he’s gone through. Some intense therapy or a neurological breakthrough that can get rid of The Void!”, Sam was being misunderstood again and this was a feeling he really didn’t enjoy, and he can’t say he’s had Bucky be the reason for it. Sure they aren’t the best talkers but they were good listeners. 

“Oh great idea, just brain wash him! You want some suggestions for the trigger words because I’ve got a few--” 

“I didn’t say that!” 

“Y-yeah, but it could easily turn into--”

“If you think I would ever say that… I don’t think you know me at all.”, Sam’s voice cracked at that last word. He knew it wasn’t true. Bucky knew him better than anyone else but in the moment he felt like they were strangers to each other. 

Bucky’s throat was so dry, he could barely breathe, or maybe he was breathing too much

“...Sam--” 

“This conversation obviously isn’t fruitful. We should find a different way to talk about this because this was a definite mistake--”, defaulting to impersonal language. It made the hurt a little less, frostbite numb. 

“Sam. Please--”, it was desperate, raw and vulnerable. Bucky layed on a table for display

“Goodbye, James.”

Once again, silence. From the one person he could hear talk for the rest of his days.