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shebeafancyflapjack · 5 months ago

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Last Days

(Some entries from my oc Silver's "Book of Shadows" / diary, leading up to her death. The photo is of my actual doggo who passed away eight years ago. 🥺🥹).

24th June 2003

Confidence Spell

In a cleansed space, dress a small orange candle with oil and coat with mixed herbs, most notably rosemary, chamomile and lavender. State your intention before lighting the match. Sit and watch in a comfortable position while visualising the light glowing within yourself.

I did it.

I told them.

The spell worked, it gave me the courage to stand in front of them and finally come out. In hindsight I should have remembered to cast a ward of protection around myself for the aftermath. But Derek at the shop told me that focusing too much on protection magic can actually attract harmful energies. And, to be honest, a part of me wanted the drama. I wanted my family to give a shit, even if it was thrown in my face. Wow, gross imagery there, Silver.

I suppose it went better then some. Reading posts on some gay and lesbian forums, some folks have it a lot worse, especially over in America. This one girl's dad was a pastor (I think that's like a Vicar? We only ever called them that around my town). When she came out to him, he had her sent to some preachy conversion therapy camp and she ended up having to run away to live with her cousin, now her immediate family act like she's dead. Yikes. I didn't get it that bad.

My sister rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Sure you are. You're totally not just doing this for attention, like the witchy thing." And my brother was cringing like I'd tried to flash him or something. "How do you even know? You've not even had that many boyfriends!" Ugh! What the fuck?! What kind of older brother wants his sister to sleep around more than dudes until she "can be certain"? I've had enough experience as I need, bruv! Think he just feels weird now as I've probably ruined all that lesbian p*rn I know he's into after that time I used the computer after him and he forgot to delete his history.

And Mum? Well.

She cried. She didn't wail or scream or anything but if was kinda like the cry of a little kid who got told they weren't allowed to get some Pik n Mix at Woolies. I asked if she was angry and she just threw her hands up and said she was disappointed I wouldn't "at the least" give her grandkids. Then she stormed outside to smoke with my sister.

I felt so cold and numb afterwards. What did that even mean? How would being gay mean I can't be a mum? We've all watched Friends, we saw Ross' ex Carol be a mum, Susan was his adoptive mum, that could happen to me. Or I could adopt. Fuck, I want to be a mum, someday...way, way, way off. And anyway, she has a grandkid! I'm surprised my brother didn’t pipe up to remind her of that. It was just me and him left in the room and it was awkward as fuck. Bri and I have butted heads but I'm closer with him than Lisa, which is not saying much. Think my confession ruined whatever little sibling bond was there.

Shit, I wish Dad had been there. He'd have been cool with it. He'd have been so proud of me for being brave enough to tell them all and he'd have given me one of his epic bear hugs.

Except that's a lie.

According to Brian, anyway. When I mentioned Dad to him, he scoffed and said "You're joking, right? Dad was homophobic as shit. This the guy who refuses to watch Star Trek TNG because a 'poofta' was the Captain."

That hurt worse than any reaction the others had to my coming out. At first I hoped he was just saying it to get a rise out of me or just to be a dick. But the more I looked back through my hazy memories, I can recall those tiny little bigoted comments which as a kid you just don't care about. Because they didn't matter to me back then. All I cared about was that Dad was fun, that he spoiled me rotten, that he'd take me to McDonalds whenever I asked and to the cinema and Stone Henge.

I needed some air after that. Jess always provided an easy excuse to go for a walk around the fields to clear my head. While she bounded off after squirrels once I let her off lead, I sat under a tree and cried my fucking eyes out. Not for the reactions of those I got, but for the one I would never get.

Those breathing exercises Derek showed me helped a lot. The throbbing in my head died down a little. Chanting the names of the Goddess while I tried to focus on letting go of that useless worry over a dead parent's opinion of me.

It sounds awful but, given how many father-daughter relationships I've seen break down when girls reach their teens, maybe I was lucky to lose my dad as young as I was before he could truly disappoint me.

But either way, I did it. I'm now and out and proud gay (or bi, I'm not 100%, just definitely not straight) witch. Love me or leave me.

So mote it fucking be.

31st October 2003

And the fires shall burn, and the wheel of life shall turn, and the dead come back home on Samhain!

Happy Halloween!

As it's the Wiccan New Year, I guess I should make a resolution? I resolve to start living my damn life.

Ever since I dropped out of college, it's like I've been drifting through life. The few jobs I've had haven't gone anywhere and I just don't know what to do with myself. Actually, no, I fantasise about the life I want all the time.

A cottage in the woods. I wanna wake up and breathe in nature every morning. I want my own garden where I can grow fruit and veg and herbs for my spells. I want to be able to sit and read my fantasy books in the sunshine for hours in peace. Obviously Jess will come with me, I'm pretty much the only one who walks and takes care of her, she's my bestest girl. And I'll adopt three or five more dogs. Maybe a couple of chill cats. It would be so cool if I could tame a fox like that woman who was on This Morning the other days. Foxes are basically cats inside little dog shells, they're so cool. And I want a wife...I think. Part of me would be happy living alone with nature and pets but then I get this niggle of desire for someone to wake up with and appreciate all that beautiful stuff with me every day.

But that life is just not gonna happen unless I find a way to make a shit ton of money to move out of my town and set up somewhere in the West Country or Surrey or Kent etc. For now I'm trapped in this tiny shitty town in the arse-end of Essex with almost no bus routes. Driving lessons have all ended in disaster, fucking dyspraxia I'm blaming you.

Gods, please, if you're going to trap me anywhere for the rest of my existence can it at least be somewhere better than this?!

What few friends I had have all gone off to Uni or abroad. One girl even asked if I wanted to go to Australia with her but the idea of working in a bar gives me chest pains. Plus the spiders! Sorry, little dudes, I love and respect you but I can't help but get the creeps! I keep up with what they're doing on MySpace and MSN but a lot of it depresses me to realise how stagnant my life is. Not only am I trapped but I'm also lonely as shit.

LOL. Jess just rested her head on my knee as I wrote that and gave me the biggest saddest labradoodle eyes. Of course I'm not totally alone, I've got my bestest girl. And my deities. Enough to keep me sane.

Speaking of mental health, gotta remember to make an appointment with my GP about these headaches. Mum blames the incense and reckons I'm dehydrated. Says the woman who smokes like a chimney and needs a glass of wine a day to get through the week.

Doing my Samhain rite later but first gonna take Scarlet out trick or treating. Her little witchy costume is so cute! I know the whole hat and warty nose stereotype is offensive to Wiccan culture but OMG she is adorbubble with her little plastic cauldron! Can't believe she's nearly three, she's growing up so fast. Even if I never get to be the cottage core mum I dream of, I can be the awesome witchy aunt.

11th March 2004

A spell to attract friendship

Cleanse an empty bottle with incense. Fill with pink or white salt to protect from toxic relationships, cloves for friendship, cinnamon for happiness, lavender for calm, rose quartz and amethyst for healthy friendship, sugar for sweetness, a dandelion for loyalty, seal with yellow wax, carry in purse or pocket often - remember you need to leave your room to find those friends you seek.

I might have just discovered something really cool!

We're staying at my great uncle's house in Surrey for a couple of weeks to help him out while he's not well. Uncle Bob's always been a cool old dude, I wish he'd lived closer when I was growing up. Anyway he knows how into the supernatural I am and started telling me legends of this really old house literally just a twenty minute walk from where we're staying.

And when I say old I mean OLD. Like Henry VIII old, if not before that! He even has this book telling the history of it. Apparently the rich lady who lives there used to host tours but she's getting too old to do it now and has mostly become a recluse. There's all sorts of shit that went down in that house, some Tory prick who died in a sex scandal, ROFL, it was used for all sorts of soldier stuff during WWII, a bunch of rich folk whose names I still see dotted around the village lived there. Even before there was a house there were settlements were there were plague outbreaks and witch trials. Actual fucking WITCH TRIALS! I always wanted to visit Salem but screw it I got some history on my doorstep now.

And theres all sorts of ghost stories! Some dude who tried to kill Queen Elizabeth I got his head chopped odd and rumour is his headless body can be seen wandering the grounds. There's this famous 'Grey Lady' ghost who falls out the window screaming in the middle of the night. Some freaky creature like a wannabe Bigfoot roaming the woods.

I gotta go there. Sounds like it's buzzing with untapped magical energy. Just looking at the photo of the building, I feel like it's calling to me.

Honestly one of the coolest bits of history was there was said to be a stone circle which the house now stands on. Don't think I can get myself in there, even if I ask the old posh woman really really nicely. But there should be enough power around the site for me to call to.

Screw it. I'm sick of trying to find my own coven to do shit like this. I did a quick scope of the place while walking Jess and it doesn't look like she has much in the way of security. There's not even that high a fence around the wood. I can jump over that easy enough.

Gotta take the opportunity while I'm here. Uncle Bob might be being moved into residential care so chances of us coming back to this part of the county is slim.

Still got those mushrooms Derek's nephew gave me. Been really hesitant about taking them, I don't like doing drugs more than a little bit of weed and even that ends up making me paranoid and thinking the world hates me.

But he swore that if I wanted to properly see the gods, they were the best tool.

So tonight, I'm gonna sneak out and make my way up there, set up an altar and ground myself. It's gonna be like taking a bubble bath in pure magick! I got all that history and ancient energy as well as the full moon. Helped bake some cakes for Uncle Bob earlier and gonna take a few crumbs of the leftovers as offerings. Pan especially has such a sweet tooth.

This is the night I'm gonna take my life into my hands and summon everything I want. Love, friendship, freedom, excitement....oh and mustn't forget healing for these stupid migraines.

Jess keeps staring at me from the foot of my bed, whimpering for attention. Maybe she wants to play fetch. Maybe she wants to come with me. Should I take her? Hekate likes dogs so she might appreciate her there. And I am going into the dark woods all on my own. A lot of scary stuff has happened to young girls and women on the news lately. But they were children, I'm twenty next year! If I take Jess with me and she starts barking, it might wake the Button lady or her neighbours.

No, babygirl, best you stay here. It's gonna be boring for you watching me do my ritual high as a kite while I tie you to a tree. Once I'm back I'll sneak you up some chicken from the fridge.

It can be our little secret. ;) and I'll do a spell to make sure my best girl has plenty more years of treats and belly rubs to come.

So mote it fucking be.

#oc: silver #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts fanfic #ghosts oc

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mediawhorefics · 2 years ago

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hiii marie i watched tsn last night and probably just spammed your notes with tsn rb's (sorry!) and i remembered you were writing the tsn fic! i'm super super excited to read it and i was wondering if there was a snippet you might be able to share with us? thank you <3

omg !! i just saw kjnvjkfds pls know you are welcome to spam my tsn tag whenever you want !!! i always feel like i'm annoying when i go on a tsn reblog spree or a tsn fic related reblog spree rip. (tho it's my blog i guess i can do whatever i want!) anyways i'm glad to know someone is enjoying that tag <333 (LOVED your 'i watch tsn like a queer drama' addition.... so true bestie)

and yes ofc i can share a snippet of the fic !!! no one has really asked before so thank you !! it's so nice to know some people are excited for it. idk how much you know about it? i've talked about it here and there, but basically, it's a you've got mail post canon au where mark gets signed up to a super exclusive mostly anonymous dating app for rich people against his will (dustin and his meddling, honestly!!) and he ends up falling head over heels in love with someone on there only to find out it was eduardo all along (she sings to the tune of agatha all along). anyways it's this very cheesy romcom trope-y story where mark basically has to realise that the only 2 times he's ever been in love were actually with the same person and if he wants to have peace of mind and true happiness he needs to earn eduardo's forgiveness and own up to his mistakes. it's gonna be so kitsch i can't wait to post it !!! it's this 100k monster rn and there's still a fair bit of plot to go on rip. i'm rambling now sorry, i've just been having soooo much fun with it and i don't get a lot of occasions to talk about it haha.

anyways here's a snippet that i thought wasn't tooo spoilery??? hope you'll like it !!! tw i gave them the world worst's usernames because i thought it would be funny af haha. apologies it's still unpolished and needs some edits but:

Mark never particularly liked the cold growing up, but there is always something eerie to him about December silently creeping in without much of a fuss in California. It always seems a little wrong to his New York State grown bones, his Harvard in winter thickened skin. Oh, the temperature drops, for sure, their equivalent of ‘cold’, but Mark recalls Massachusetts freezing winter days, him in his shorts in the snow and a disapproving Wardo staring after him, begging him to please put some clothes on, Mark’s skin prickling under the wind as he ignored him. Winter in Palo Alto is child’s play in comparison, which is the point of living there he supposes. It’s nice, but it’s strange.

Feels off.

It feels even more off when he knows he’s not gonna bother going back home for the break this year – like most years, let’s be honest – and get his fill of razor-sharp wind and bone-chilling cold.

Winter always reminds him of the early days of Facebook; him glued to his laptop day and night in his freezing dorm room, pages and pages and pages of code that weren’t quite a website yet fighting to get out of his brain and onto the screen, and Dustin, Chris and Eduardo, a constant warm presence he was barely aware of hovering at his back. Especially Eduardo.

And speaking of Eduardo, winter always reminds Mark of him too, despite his best efforts.

Eduardo, who never liked the cold, not after spending his seminal years in Brazil, then Miami, who always struggled through the sunless, frozen, winter months he spent at Harvard, even though he never wanted to admit it.

It reminds him of Eduardo’s shivering body that night he approached him with the idea for Facebook, cold cold cold cold, but listening to Mark about his idea outside in the January air all the same, the two of them alone on the cusp of something great. They could have been the only two people on Earth that night in the whipping wind. It’s what it felt like to Mark anyways, what it always felt like to Mark. Them against the world. Before The Phoenix, before Christy, before Sean…

Wardo would have liked Palo Alto, Mark thinks that December morning as he makes his way to work and a slow melancholy takes hold of him, the way it always does what that kind of thoughts take root in his mind.

He would have enjoyed the almost perpetual sunshine, the heat, the cool people he would have fit with so easily, the way Mark never could no matter how long he’s lived here…

Mark sighs, taking a second in his assigned parking spot to compose himself. This stupid Gala he has to attend next week has been messing with his brain ever since Dustin discretely informed him that Eduardo Saverin has confirmed his presence to the event as well.

And it’s fine. Eduardo can go wherever he likes. Especially when he’s invited. Mark isn’t his keeper or anything. And he’s proven many times in the past that they can be in the same room without yelling at each other. Well, most times anyways.

But he’s always a little unsettled when he knows Wardo is stateside, the needle of his Eduardo inner compass all over the place, trying to reorient itself when it realizes that Far Far Away is no longer that far. Which is probably why he always feels like his heart is about to explode when they’re in the same room.

It can’t be regrets, because Mark forbade himself from feeling those a long time ago.

But it sure is something.

He still feels a little itchy after a few minutes alone in his car so he gets his phone out, composing a quick text for eswag82.

Winter always makes me melancholic, he types, something so incredibly soothing about the comfort of an ally, a friend, a confident, never further away than his pocket. Reflective. I start remembering things I never would normally think about. I don’t know if it’s seasonal depression or something, but… I’m always getting sad over nothing. Over stuff I should have been done with a long time ago. But I can’t help myself. It’s like December hits and suddenly… Do you know what I’m talking about?

Mark sighs as he sends the text: time to face the music.

The day passes quickly between meetings and coding and important phone calls… He doesn’t have the chance to check his personal texts until late in the afternoon but when he does, miraculously, warmth permeates through the cold of the approaching winter and spreads through him like a sip of burning hot coffee.

I know exactly what you’re talking about, E writes. Everything slows down in winter, including us. We have the time to get reflective and melancholy. So many holidays in so many cultures too. A time of celebration, of togetherness. That can be challenging when you don’t feel particularly joyful. Or in my family’s case, together. Seeing what it should or could be highlights what it isn’t sometimes, yk? Or at least it’s like that for me.

I’m sorry, Mark writes back, feeling angry again on E’s behalf for that family that doesn’t make him feel welcome, doesn’t make him feel like he can be himself.

It is what it is. I haven’t gone back home in a while now and this year won’t be any different. Sometimes taking care of yourself looks like neglecting others from an outsider’s perspective, but… I can’t worry about that.

I’m not going home either this year. I’m busy, which is true, but it’s also… I don’t think I could stomach it. It’s been a while for me too and they’re great, but I still feel like I’m on the outside, yk? Like I’m looking at them through the windows and no matter how much I want to, I can’t go in.

Mark swallows hard. He swallows back down more feelings of rejection and more fear that no matter what he does it’s never enough to belong. He swallows back down the fact that he created Facebook to be part of the club and he now fears he elevated himself so much higher that he can never fit in anymore. And he doesn’t even like people that much, he’s always said so, but the older he gets the more he feels they can be tedious and still part of his life anyway, that being alone at the top might not be the end goal he’s looking for anymore.

#about me #my fics #tsn fic #tia

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1d1195 · 5 months ago

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hiiii !!! i finished ding and i just jasndjfhkadjadj I ADORE them🥹 they truly are just perfect for each other (girl omggg i NEEEEED a future blurb about the rematch and him winning he deserves it after all that anxiety😭 also you should do something where bc they do a rematch and none of them consider that first fight a real match IF HE WINS THE ONE STRIKE IN HIS LOSS COLUMN SHOULD JUST DISAPPEAR LMFAEJFKK)

I WAS SOOOOOO HAPPY TO SEE A TRADITIONAL BLURB !!!!! idk what it is about them but they just have a special place in my heart, i think when you were first posting the series i was just in a really different place in my life, not bad but not really good it was sort of an adjusting period, and i would get on here and read them and they just made me feel sooooo good and it was just a safe place to get lost in and everything. your writing truly is such a blessing thank you so much sam <3

AND THENNNNN last night i couldnt sleep so i was scrolling on here and i saw an anon mention committed and i realized I HADNT READ IT YET so you know i went back and read everything including their blurbs and ohhhh myyyy goodnessss😩😩 THEYRE SOOOOO ADORABLE they way they were just soooooooo down bad for each other ???? i need that otherwise it would never work between me and someone else. THE JEALOUSY BLURB WAS PERFECTION AND THEIR FIRST TIME ?????? AHHHHHHHHH

things are kinda boring on my end, it's officially iced coffee season again and i LOVE THAT. i CANNOT drink it during winter i already tend to run cold so that just pushes me off the edge and i just cant warm up again but now its hot out and im not sick anymore!!🥳 so thats fun

music wise i havent really been listening to anything new but i was on the phone with my sister this morning and i turned on Magic by 1D and its suchhh a fun song😭 ive been feeling more upbeat songs lately and that one has been on repeat ALSO last first kiss :))

hope your doing absolutely amazing lmk whats new with you what've you been up to ??

~🎶

Ahhhhh! Hi! I've been thinking of you! Glad to hear you're not sick anymore! I don't have very many new songs either--I'll have to look! I'm def PMSing so I'm looking for depressing songs to fit my mood rn lol. I'm back on my Noah Kahan kick. MAGIC IS SUCH A BOP. I use it to help me clean my apartment.

I'm so glad you liked Ding and I'm thinking that's a great idea 😉 I'll try to work it in!

That's really sweet about Traditional. It's def the series most people seem to like overall. I'm sorry you were in a tough place but it makes me happy you felt safe here on my little blog. It means a lot to me 💕

I loved Committed! I think it was a random idea (not super suggested) or at least I hope it wasn't because I can't remember. I just liked that TikTok that went with it 😂😂 They were oblivious little cuties for sure. Loved them 💕 SO glad you got to read something knew from me even though I'm def gonna be slow this week! I remember you saying you liked to read finished series so that's probably for the best. They were being annoying part way through if I recall. Not quite a cliffhanger but very Ross-Rachel just shut up and be together sort of thing 😉

I'm SCREAMING about iced coffee season. I drink it year round. My friends send me the snowblower memes during storms that say like "need anything from dunkin?" it's so me. I'm happy for you though! It's like it's officially summer once you start right? That's good news!

Tbh May was really tough for me in about every direction. I'm still kind of overwhelmed with a lot of stuff, but summer is looking more relaxed while still doing a bunch of things. The highlight of the last few weeks was probably reading my trashy romance book and going to a couple book stores and getting more books that I shouldn't have 🤭 It's also POLLEN SEASON around here and it's quite miserable. But it's okay, I will be fine. Just got to get through a few more days of craziness 😅

SO HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU! LOVE YOU!

xoxo

#ding #traditional #committed #🎶

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noodlepai · 3 years ago

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(OKAY okay so I've come to provide more information on the AU, I'm still working on it a lot so things might change or be added but I got a basic idea of what things are like rn !!)

Info dump moment rn, also TW for slight trauma mentions/hints

• Sam had managed to save the Wii from melting itself all those years ago, and is a pretty big person on tech, so she likes to experiment and try new things, and actively tries to help Eteled out or transfer him through devices so he isn't just stuck in one place all the time, with lots of trial and tons of error, especially since she knows the Wii's getting old and that it can be unstable occasionally with glitches

• Kyle has also taken a liking to learning more about technology through Sam's influence so he sometimes comes over and they both will just study and brainstorm ideas

• Sam moved out of her home and now lives in her own apartment, is in college to pursue her dream of working around and creating technology, hasn't really considered making a job out of it since she mostly does it for fun and likes to achieve her dream goals, Nathan and Kyle also occasionally visit to just hang out and do whatever, usually resulting in the three staying up very late into a movie or game night, and Eteled having to talk Sam into getting sleep for the next morning

• Even though Sam is big on all tech, consoles and video games, she still has a soft spot for old generation consoles in particular

• Sam, Nathan and Kyle had all gotten pretty close growing up so they're like a dumbass trio /lh

• Will moved out of state or some shit

• Kyle wakes up from his villain arc and makes a truce with Eteled /J.. FR though Kyle softens up and becomes more understanding of Eteled's side after they start talking it out, while what happened did bother him at the time all those years ago, he just kinda grew up to the point where it didn't have such of an effect on him anymore, I mean all he saw was a Mii get slice and diced, no need to go beast mode over it, so they forgive each other of the past

• Kyle and Nathan are besties to homosexuals, homie love

• Sam made a Mii of herself from when she was younger to keep Eteled company when going out or having to attend school, Eteled appreciated it but wouldn't wanna admit how it wasn't the same and about how much he would miss Sam when she had to get off the Wii

• Gives Eteled abandonment issues because I love being evil

• He's actually clingy on the inside but would never admit it to anyone

• Also views Sam as a sort of daughter figure besides just a friend but is too nervous to mention it, he wants Sam to be safe, loves whenever she talks or rants to him about anything or shows him something she made or is proud of, or even just anything at all, father Eteled is proud of his child/bestie

• He like, genuinely feels loved around her and would definitely cry about it but would never show it, or at least try not to

• Eteled has the favorite Mii pants because Sam put them on him, with quote "I think it's about time my best friend gets to rock a new style", and yes it did make him almost cry on the spot

• Austin is like, mentally conflicted as hell

• Austin and Eteled both feel guilty for what they've done to each other over the years, aren't sure they can or are ready to forgive the other but they're very slowly learning to tolerate each other

• They're like enemies to kinda friends in a way

• They're traumatized mfs

• They still sometimes fight but it's usually just yelling or saying shit now, they don't do the chair, deletion or axe really anymore since they at least got to the point where they respect each other's boundaries and triggers, and there's no point to keep doing the same old for over 10+ years, for the most part, they still slip up sometimes

• They do fuck up though occasionally so that's why Eteled has scars and Austin is a bit more bashed up

• They still have a rooted dislike for each other they're trying to get over but they sometimes chill out or talk, usually when Sam is asleep or off the Wii for a while, the two just will maybe visit or sit around to at least try to understand the other better

• Sam knows Austin is still around, and it took a while but with time she grew to accept him when he didn't seem like a big threat anymore, and that he was just as important of a soul as Eteled was, she still didn't like the fights and didn't know the full story

• She'd probably section them away from the other with a child gate if she could

• Austin of course has an ego and would never tell another soul that he has many nightmares of the server room and about what happens if he gets caught off guard or is sleeping when Eteled decides to attack him again, Eteled wouldn't do that, and Austin knows it but it's just the deep rooted fear he can't get rid of, even though he's much taller and technically more powerful than the smaller Mii

• Eteled is just tired, usually just sleeps in the Mii channel, especially when under stress or tires himself out if he's going through a moment, like triggered memories or emotions

• From all the deleting and the chair, and more crap from his early life, Eteled is just terrified of it all so even the idea of them scares the fuck out of him, so as a natural response he just tries to defend himself with his axe even if he would be shaking like a chicken, he really tries not to pull it out but he can't always stop himself

• The axe itself would probably also bother Austin a bit, but he would still try to cautiously calm Eteled down since he knows he's just afraid, so afterwards they'd probably have to awkwardly apologize for what the fuck happened at that very moment

• Sam sometimes offers them both to play a game together with her, or plans on playing with Eteled and invites Austin along, as a way to make them bond, they do end up having some fun though

• Eteled has seen and/or been around or within newer Nintendo consoles, but personally prefers being in the Wii since he's used to it the most, and it's the most comfortable and homey to him

• Oh yeah, if Austin or Eteled is having an episode or is deeply upset then the other will try to help sometimes if it's really bad, Austin tries to hide it more but it doesn't always work, yeah they have reasonable reasons to not like the other, but they aren't complete assholes

• They both got trauma memories and aren't gonna just watch the other suffer through it

• Austin may or may not have taken in what Eteled had said all that time ago about "Learning to move past the past", even though that technically makes Eteled a hypocrite when he's constantly beating himself up about shit mentally, even after years, they are both doing it tbh

• Also Kyle doesn't know about Austin 100% but is curious to know his story and who he is and used to be, and how he got in the Wii, especially after the passing of his family member of the same name, little does he know..

• Sam also doesn't know about any of it, neither Sam or Kyle know of what happened or Austin's story, Austin being in a tight spot since he doesn't wanna reveal his identity yet, knowing the possible reaction, for Eteled's sake, Sam's and especially Kyle's, and Eteled being absolutely fucking terrified since the fear of losing someone like Sam could become real, and the small but growing friendship he was slowly making with Kyle could go right back to hatred and wanting the small Mii deleted, not including the fact that he still eats at himself for his past actions so it being brought back up again would be a ✨mess✨

• Austin doesn't know if he forgives Eteled or not, but wants to try to move past it and not be reminded in any way

• Nathan is still a little lowkey scared of Eteled ngl, doesn't wanna upset him or anything and Eteled can tell, he probably sighs to himself but he can't blame the guy

• Kyle has thought about making another Mii of himself on what is now long been Sam's Wii, now that he's older and him and Eteled are rather chill, but decided against it since he wasn't sure, not because he didn't trust Eteled, but because he figured it could potentially remind the Mii of the past, so whenever he plays on it he just uses Eteled

(That's all I can really recall on the top of my head for now, whenever I remember more or add on things I'll probably make a new post about it)

#eteled #henry #corrupted mii #austin #sam #kyle #nathan #will #wdy #wii deleted you #au #still not sure what i want to do with the considered bully characters #if i decide to add them #or what i would do with the parental figures #still a lot to think about and work on but yeah #i dont mind ideas or possible suggestions for some characters #im just vibing with my au and having fun #*does a little dance*

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shobioo · 3 years ago

Text

matchmaker ❥ 025 || Today

➪ MAIN | PREVIOUS

That feels like only yesterday. Maybe it was, Rintarou can't remember. Yesterday when he saw you, saw you all happy in Paris. Sightseeing and holding his hand, dragging him along to places you wanted to see. Then again, that feels like Yesterday. All he could remember was today and today was always like the rest.

And as still as the night sky, Suna stood on his balcony resting his hands on the railing, dividing him from the ground below. Yesterday was two years ago when Rintarou matched with you when he got to be in your presence again.

Yesterday was two years ago when he fell in love with you all over again.

“I hope you're happy, that's all I've ever wanted for you.”

Suna loved you, every part of you down to your smile. And he wanted you just to be happy, nothing more or less.

“I miss you a lot.” Words filled with longing laced the air. Suna swallowed the big lump in his throat that he couldn't recall had been there before.

Rintarou knew he had wished upon every star that you'd come back, he’d done it before when you left all those years ago.

Fuck, he was so scared then. So scared of tomorrow, till it had finally come. Then he’d be scared of today. So scared of the many unread messages, scared of the many letters he had sent, so scared of how you felt back then.

“I just…want you back.” He knows he sounds desperate, how could he not know. He took another gulp, perhaps holding in the sobs that wanted to escape him.

Suna remembered when there was a time when he always looked forward to today. When he got to see you smile, when you talked about working at the café, or when he was just with you.

But even when today was there. Rintarou knew he would always love you, today, tomorrow, and yesterday.

He knew love could be painful, he knew it far too well. So, it shouldn't hurt now. But, it does, and he wished it didn't. He wished for a bunch of things he knew that were far-fetched. Yet, that never stopped him from doing it more, maybe it's begun to be a habit at this point.

He doesn't know. “I don't know if you remember, but I do. You got mad at me because I told you, my happiness didn't matter as much as it did yours.” He laughed slightly. “You really blew up at me back then, and then you moved.” His smile slightly flattened.

“But you - you told me that I should be happy for myself and not just you. Because, if I was happy then you were too.”

He shut his eyes tightly, trying to get the image of you out of his head.

“Are you happy, Rin?”

“Of course I am?”

“Good, because you deserve it too. You’re always focusing on me and never yourself. I should give you a hit on the head for it. But, your happiness matters too. And not just to you but it matters to me too.”

He wondered if that's all you wanted for him too. Just for him to be happy like what he wanted for you, then he smiles slightly. You probably wouldn't want him to be moping around right about now, you'd want him to keep his memories of you and laugh at them with your friends.

You were always like that. Finding a way to smile about things even though you hadn't had a cause for it, and that you hadn't found happiness until much later.

“I’ll be happy, for myself (Y/N) I promise.”

Tears fell from his eyes as they had finally broken free from being caged. Starting today and forevermore Suna would be happy for himself.

“I love you.”

He thanks you for all the love and time you spent with him. The joy and the heartache you both had experienced, thanking you for all the yesterdays, the tomorrow's, and the todays that he was able to spend with you.

— IM SORRY - PLEASE I CRIED A LIL WHEN IT CAME TO THIS PLEASE

— i’ll write my essay rn plz

— TRUMPET SOLO?? 😟

Taglist in the reblogs <3

#haikyuu x reader #hq smau #haikyuu!!#haikyuu smau series #haikyuu smau #suna rintaro x you #suna x reader #suna rintaro fluff #suna angst #hq suna #suna x y/n

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seelestia · 2 years ago

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that's what i get for always spending time with him i guess lmao and yes ofc you're v v welcome to invade my inbox anytime you so wish <3

the two hu taos running around is sure to turn anyone's hair grey lol i can't for the life of me imagine the shenanigans you're both up to when put together /j

ah the social status gap ;;;; THAT'S 3 TROPES IN ONE HLDJSFLKSJDL OH MY LORD i can already taste the bitter angst at the tip of my tongue....

I THINK SO lol black + blue palette on ayato... and with all the signature fatui accessories... gosh. i really can't. any artists seeing this, if you ever want to draw it please tag me 🙏🏻 yeah no the moment he starts liking your presence you're locked in for life sis i am so sorry- /j

that's so fast sldkjfsldf i'm still on part 2 atm and i probably won't continue anytime soon cause of vacation plans sobsob

the rng gods blessed you with that one lollll nahh i am hopeless at building characters i tell you. i have no idea what i'm doing 80% of the time 🤣 i'm just here for the lore and music/voice and zhongli ✨

literally us:

"a child holding a bomb is two terrible signs manifested into one." i am dead, deceased, wheezing, tearing up with laughter-

oh al haitham is coming home whether he wants it or not 😈 i think i might skip 3.1 banners entirely in favor of saving up... the remelting tablet has got me hooked on ayato's playstyle so i'm eyeing for when he reruns too. probably not gonna be soon but still... also i want scara when he comes out solely bc his jp va lmao (and on that note, maybe childe hmmm)

definitely, more chars >>>>>>> constellations!!! yeah that's actually a good thinking hahah being on guaranteed is fun but also stressful sometimes.... my brother is at 60 pity rn and he actually wanted dori but he doesn't dare to pull bc he doesn't like ganyu or kokomi's playstyle lol rip

oooo strawberry and passionfruit tea, those sounds gooooood <3

i imagine zhongli very much approves of our tea addiction lol

atp, you should put copying zhongli's speech to a tee as your hidden talent 😭 i guess, this is what happens when you write for him sm, huh?? + all that listening to his voicelines, uh-huhhh 👀 i cannot blame you for that will also be me when i get ayato 🚶 (the day i start using, "ah, yes. naturally." like him is the day you'd know i've gone off of the deep end /j)

i may make your hair grey, but you will love me either way, right??? *innocently bats eyelashes* (/lh) hu tao and lia in one room would fr be the most effective aging process because i'd honestly laugh at her jokes and then add on to them 😭 also, i vividly recall that one time when zhongli did his osmanthus wine idle and i just absentmindedly responded, "i think your friends are six feet under tho". THE SILENCE AFTERWARDS WAS SO LOUD. idk how i can be both chaotic and chill at the same time (is this where my venti side comes out /j)

a love triangle with ayato and thoma is such a concept 🙏 but with a more realistic twist to it and with that, comes the harsh realization that reality brings. after all, a fairytale-like love is pleasant to indulge in; an escape, an almost surreal-like lantern of hope but you can't keep your head buried in books forever, can you? reality where capitalism reigns (/j) will always call, whether you wish to turn a blind eye to it or not. MMM, REALITY, THE ENEMY OF DAYDREAMERS *hiss* 🤺 (/lh)

fatui!ayato, what an enigma (don't lock me up, please. at least, let rin jie visit me because she'll help bail me out /j) 👀 yeahhh, you can't escape him if he's locked onto you <//3 which makes me think about how he'd be as your ex... i feel like ayato would be that smiling yet salty on the inside + passive aggressive ex. LOLLL he would 100% sneakily trip your new partner in public and extend an oh-so gracious and concerned helping hand to them (wowww, talk about sneaky).

rin jie, the only thing keeping me going with the quests is the aranara's <//3 i just divided the quests neatly, so i followed the process of completing at least one or two quests per day — THIS WAS EXACTLY HOW I DID MY STUDYING AND I GOT WAR FLASHBACKS FROM MY LAST EXAMS 😭 i love it when i apply my studying technique to long genshin quests, hehehe 🥸🏃 (/s)

who cares about meta because even at ar 50+, we're just cruising thru 🏂 does your brother beg to differ with his op builds??? we shall abandon him. (/j) i still remember when you told me he started building diluc after the new skin was released LOLLL and speaking of !! have you read up on enkanomiya's lore yet??? because remember my boy, caelin?? i think i might post his profile soon 👀 but absolutely dw if you haven't, the lore related to enkanomiya is only in the trivia section at the very end~

YEAHHHH, the way we are saving for both al-haitham and ayato 🤝 no because i was so happy when i saw ayato in the fayz trials + remelting tablet event 😭 the way he does his normal attacks, hello??? it was enjoyable being an ayato main even for a few minutes, i'm getting a taste of my future <//3 but let's wish scara and al-haitham won't be on the same banner because that shall be your true test + you're softening up to childe, it aeems??? 👀

#your brother isn't gonna take a chance for dori huh HELDPOWK i hope he'll get her again in the future! >:)#and tell zhongli i said ty for approving my fondness of tea and sorry for giving him grey hair (/lh)#i hope you're having a nice day! auper ultra mega life-squeezing hugs for rin jie 🫂 (don't suffocate /j)#ask box! 📬#visitor: dearest rin! 💠

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pazii · 3 years ago

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Aaaaa okay I just got inspired to work on my unnamed honkai/genshin oc so sorta long post incoming??

I've been using Jay as a placeholder name for her bc self insert lmao but uhhh she should have a Japanese name I just haven't decided what yet (I might just name her Blue Jay/Jay in Japanese lmao)

Jay's hometown is Nagazora and she was rescued by Schicksal when the Honkai destroyed her town

She decided to train as a valkyrie and met class monitor Fu Hua during her time at St. Freya (basically a school for training people to fight the Honkai)

Jay had a lot of conflicting feelings about her life up to that point, bc all she wanted to do was have a normal life, go to school, get a job, maybe adopt some cats and that's it, but now she got roped into a fight for humanity?? Pls she just wanted to vibe

So she struggled a lot w her examinations. She always aces the written portion but has a lot of trouble doing the actual fighting. She tends to get nervous and forget everything she's learned

Sorta the opposite of Kiana (the mc of the honkai storyline) whose fighting style is more "they can't kill me if they're already dead!!" Kiana tends to go in guns blazing and constantly fails the written portion of the exam so Hua decided to pair the two together and have them help each other out

As the next exam season drew near, Kiana had managed to pick up what Jay had been teaching her about the Honkai, but Jay had yet to make much progress in her fighting abilities

One day, Fu Hua finds Jay crying in her room before a training session w Kiana. Jay admits she feels like a failure to everybody bc she survived the Honkai eruption while all of her friends and family died, and yet she can't even do the bare minimum to fight back. Hua kinda pats her back awkwardly while Jay spills all of her feelings (bc Hua isn't that great w emotions lmao) and afterward she offers to give Jay some private tutoring in the martial arts she learned from her father

So Jay and Hua began meeting every day to train, and slowly but surely, Jay improves!

And over time, Jay starts falling for the stoic class monitor with a secret sweet side

Yes Jay has her gay awakening when Hua pins her to the wall during training

Jay would also eventually find out about Hua's past. I don't want to spoil too much so I'll just say that Hua has lived for thousands of years, but because of something that happened in the past, she's unable to recall most of her early memories. However all the abilities she's honed over the years are intact and she passed many of those techniques onto Jay

Fast forward to chapter 22 in the story, [redacted] happens (no spoilers lmao) but something went wrong and the space around Hua destabilized (this is diverging from canon rn). Jay grabbed Hua's hand right before the two were flung into the Sea of Quanta (a space between worlds)

After an unknown amount of time, Jay awoke in Liyue, with a pale pink feather in her hands but Fu Hua nowhere to be found. Since then, she had been searching for her beloved throughout Teyvat, with the hope that she can finally confess her feelings when they're reunited

During that time she became friends with Zhongli (who gave her similar vibes to Hua bc they were both calm and very wise), Childe (who insists on fighting her all the time bc of her unique combat style), and Hu Tao (whose voice reminded her of Kiana they have the same CN voice actor lol)

Jay hasn't told anyone why she's looking for Hua, just that Hua was "a close friend" but anyone observant enough can see that Jay's eyes fill with love and longing whenever she talks about Hua

(Also side note, when Jay first sees Kazuha she mistakes him for Hua bc he has the same hair as her lmao)

I can totally see Jay being intrigued by Tai bc of his phoenix vibes 👀 Hua used to be known as "Phoenix" way back in the day and also had fire powers lol

Also @ Scaradango anon I think Jay would probably run into Liu Gui when she first wakes up in Liyue!! Maybe she directs Jay to Liyue Harbor and tells her a bit about Teyvat? :0

I don’t know much about Honkai so I can’t fully appreciate the story but it sure is interesting!! I should probably play Honkai just so I can understand lol Really love your OC!!

#pazii answers

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well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now · 4 years ago

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Hey, it's me again! The Anon that constantly comes back because I'm too lazy to play the new lessons myself.

Anyway, Lesson 30-something, what happened in it? I've just seen screenshots and most of them are Solomon blushing (which, well, can't really say I'm complaining).

Hope you answer, and I'll probably ask you about the lessons after this.

-Anon that's still somehow stuck on Lesson 31. Seriously, I should really start playing the game again soon.

I'm screaming I literally wrote this whole thing and it got deleted because tumblr refused to send it and just banished the reply into the void i want to fight someone. I'm so sorry I'm gonna bang my head against something now.

It's okay if you ask cause I need someone to rant to after lessons!

So two days before the ritual to break the pacts. Solomon is researching how to use the night dagger.

Lucifer & Satan are arguing on the staircase (cause 50% of all important conversations happen on staircases - and I mean this sincerely). Lucifer promised mammon he'd come play cards with him and Satan doesn't want him to go cause he thinks it'll be a scam (he's worried about his dad big brother❤). MC asks Satan if he's worried about Lucifer and that makes his affection go up. He asks MC to promise him to go with Lucifer and keep an eye on him. He ruffles MC's hair and gives them the same we'll still be friends talk that the others do

They go to play cards and place bets, if Mammon wins he gets Lucifer's credit card for a day and if Lucifer wins he gets mc alone for a day. You can choose whether you want mc to either play along or cheer for Lucifer. (And look my MC's performing Olympic grade gymnastics to avoid Lucifer's advances & this lesson has a lot of options to romance Lucifer that I didn't pick so...)

Lucifer gets distracted by Mammon's car before they start playing.

WE GET THE BACKSTORY ABOUT THE CAR!!!!!! AND LOOK IT'S BEING THERE FOR SO LONG WITHOUT BEING ACKNOWLEDGED THAT I WAS ALMOST CERTAIN IVE BEEN HALLUCINATING IT. the backstory was actually really cute.

Mammon really really wanted this limited edition car (it had a rare colour) so he worked his ass off and earned money to buy it (I think it's mentioned that this is the first thing he bought from his own money). But by the time he'd earned enough it had been sold out. As far as Mammon knows Lucifer spoke to the dealer and was able to find one last car (can you do that? Can you just ask them to look in the back and they'll just pop out with a car they accidentally overlooked?). BUT Lucifer recalls that he actually spoke to diavolo and called in a special favour to get the car for mammon. Lucifer tells mammon he was impressed by him and I no longer possess a physical form I'm now a bowl of goop with thumbs to type

Lucifer wins (duh) and mammon asks to speak to mc alone. He tells them that even if their pact is severed he'll always be their first man. MC says 'I won't forget.' Mammon does that stuttery thing and says something like 'don't forget.' He hugs them tight. I added a screenshot of this (& other important moments) to my first answer but I don't wanna risk it cause if I lose this again I will realistically commit homicide. But anyway this line killed me 'suddenly I feel like the invisible bond between us is even stronger than it was before'. If I wasn't a puddle before I would be now

The next day mc & Lucifer meet up to go out, Asmo and mammon complain, I'm a total dick so I don't let MC hold Lucifer's hand and it makes him sad (I cry). They meet Solomon at the gate and he says he needs to talk with MC but can wait till after. He suggests going to the carnival (from the beginning of the season) cause it's the last day at the devildom and Simeon was planning on taking Luke but had to bail to go to the celestial realm. (Also the devildom is only one city/district right? I always saw it as the capital of The Devildom as a whole)

Lucifer laments not being able to remeber their first time at the carnival, mc gets to reassure him that it's okay. They get popcorn and go on the ferris wheel.

He asks them what they spoke about last time on the ferris wheel. The answers are 'Lucifer' or 'diavolo' . if you choose diavolo he throws shade at past Lucifer for being an idiot and talking about another man when with MC (*SNORT*) .

LUCIFER CONFESSES!!!? HE SAYS "MC I LOVE YOU"?!? HE'S THE FIRST BROTHER TO DIRECTLY CONFESS AND HAVE MC DIRECTLY CONFESS BACK.HE BASICALLY SAYS 'ANYWAY PAST LUCIFER WAS A FUCKING IDIOT BUT I LOVE YOU'. my mc goes 'lol as a friend'

Yes yes ik mammon technically confessed first and did so twice (thrice?) but neither were direct. The first was him agreeing with mc about them being in love in front of someone else and the second was under the influence of the truth bracelet. Asmo confessed too but in a 'never thought I'd find someone I love more than me. That's wild' way.

After mc shoots him down he goes 'that sucks guess I'll have to try harder to make you fall for me'

@like-nxrthernstxrs if you say you love him back, you get to kiss and mammon who followed you sees and goes quiet which yeah no, no thanks

I didn't unlock the locked lessons but screenshots show that all the brothers follow them I think (imagine the nightmare of dating one of them for real tho? Like you, me and your friend Steve except Steve is your 6 brothers who want to sleep with me)

The most notable exchange during them is when Levi asks whether Lucifer seems happier without his memories (he actually is more carefree) but mammon says he wouldn't be happier because he loves all his little brothers and he wouldn't be happy if he couldnt remember them. Levi tells mammon it's gross whenever he starts acting like an actual older brother (so we've seen mammon step up to the role of a older brother every once in a while - specially when Lucifer isnt able to - and he's actually really good at it? And that's just💞💞)

When they go home, solomon's in MC's room. He goes 'so do you want the good news or bad news first? Actually they're both bad news and you're fucked lol'

The dagger is so old that it doesn't have enough power to break the bonds and even when charged with Solomon's power it isn't enough.

The only way to restore the power is to use it to stab a powerful demon in the chest and have it absorb the demon's power.

Then he gives mc the dagger and is like 'anyway go stab Lucifer in the chest or we're all gonna die'

MC's like 'what the fuck'

Solomon goes 'lol just kidding i wouldn't ask you to do that'

Solomon tells them that he spent his whole life protecting humanity and that he is willing to do anything to save it. He tells them that choosing between all of the three realms and one demon should be easy. But he can't because he knows that'll make MC sad and he doesn't want to hurt them (honestly some of the dialogue from Solomon, Simeon and even diavolo makes me wonder if they'll ever become LIs down the road)

Lucifer has been eavesdropping the whole time (obviously) and kicks Solomon out.

Mc tells time not to worry and that they'll figure something else out. He tells them that he cares about his brothers and them (he puts a bit of emphasis on MC) and that he wants them to stab him. MC keeps on protesting. He grabs their hand and makes them point the dagger to his chest. You get a choice. You can either stab Lucifer, MC or command him to 'stay'. If you choose to command him, he freezes for a sec and then tells MC they are too distraught to be able to put any actual power behind the command. He moves their hand to stab himself. The screen goes white. If you decide to stab MC he screams their name. The screen goes white

A '???' voice tells them to stop and that it's not needed. Simeon (the only person with even a single braincell in this entire game) stops their hand and tells them they've been brave. He slips an old ring on to their finger. The screen goes white.

The screen's still white but now it's white in a way that makes it look like it's sunlight blinding the screen.

Another '???' voice apologises to MC for not being able to meet them before. It asks mc why they refused to stab Lucifer. They can say it's because they love him, because they didn't want anyone to get hurt or because they wanted to find another way. And look even if you aren't romancing Lucifer you have to admit at this point of the game MC does love him and all his brothers as well.If you pick the first option the voice says that it's a good thing and that they should cherish that love and let it grow. If you choose the second it tells them they are kind. The voice then tells them that after seeing how much the brothers adore them it expected them to be wicked and that it's happy they aren't. It tells them that they don't have to worry and that the ring of light will keep their powers in check and that they should go back because the others are worried. MC wakes up to Lucifer calling their name.

I'm 90% certain the voice in Michael, 10% of me is terrified it'll turn out to be God. And look I'm not religious, I don't really believe in anything and either way I was raised in a Buddhist household so God has never been anything I believed in BUT God talking to me through an otome game is definitely not something I need rn or ever really

Mc, Solomon, Simeon and Luke are by the lake at the palace. Solomon says he can finally relate to Mammon cause Lucifer had punished him. Simeon reveals that Lucifer had punished diavolo as well and would be coming after the rest of them that kept this whole thing secret from him (And this kills me! This man loves his family so much he was not only willing to go against God and his army when his family was in danger but he was also willing to lash out at DIAVOLO who he has so much respect & loyalty towards when he accidentally put Lucifer's family in danger!??? Anyway any chance I had of solidifying into a physical state has been completely swept away)

It's revealed that Simeon may or may not have stolen the ring from Michael who still loves Lucifer and keeps a shrine to Lucifer all of Lucifer's things from the celestial realm with him. And honestly I want whatever superpower Lucifer has that allows him to act like a dick with major issues but still makes ppl just absolutely love him. (I absolutely adore how easily om! throws around the word 'love' or actions of love. And I don't mean regarding MC. I mean between the brothers, undateables, Luke and side characters. Like at this point there's no doubt that despite all their differences everyone loves each other.)

Simeon (or Luke) note that now with the ring MC is as powerful a sorcerer as Solomon and may someday surpass him. Solomon is asked of he's jealous and he says he's not and he's glad to finally have someone like him.

Solomon pulls MC aside and asks them for a favour. They can either ask what it is or say 'anything for you'. If you choose the second option he blushes. He tells them he has spent his whole life looking out for humanity (thousands of years) and that he would like to work side by side with them to protect the humans. In his own words they'd be 'partners'. You can either agree or tell him it sounds like a pain in the ass. If you agree he says that a part of him knew they'd agree. (I can't remember if this is said outloud or implied but I'm assuming this means Solomon will teach them to use actual magic thus making 3 out of 4 of my main game MCs magical apprentices. Nice.)

*Solomon refers to himself as 'the witty sorcerer' confirming that all their aliases in the cards have actual canon meaning...so Mammon's 'fallen warrior' and 'punishment party' is basically just confirming he was probably the only one classed as a fighter from all his brothers back in the celestial realm and that he's a masochist right? That's what that means?*

Barbatos arrives to welcome them and ask them to follow him.

The lesson ends.

The pre stabbing scene with Solomon and mc doesn't really follow the exact dialogue of the first scene in S2 and the backgrounds don't match either (the human world vs MC's bedroom). Now this could mean the devs fucked up or it could mean there's more BS waiting to be stirred up. Personally I believe it's the first one BUT with how determined the devs seem with turning all of Lucifer's hair white i wouldn't be surprised if it was the second either

Hope that helps 31!❤ sorry it took some time I had to take constant breaks to scream cause the app sucks :)))

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159potterhead · 4 years ago

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Look what I brought!! Another boost of serotonin!!😄 Aahhaa! Queen's cave I'm sure it must be awesome since you're the queen of the place😍

Yeah. It can also be accident but again accident don't happen accidentally

I think so🥺 but also I'm competing with you here competition is pretty tough but as I said I looooove you💖✨💖✨

Let's do it then! Oh! A real date that is so sweet, and yes we will play bingo. I don't want big dinner dates but I do want to try a pie with you so we can do that too on our date night and maybe slow dance if you're on board.

NOOOOOO! AGAFGFSG That's the first constellation I look for. You grab the pen, I'll grab the paper, let's do it right now!! We're making a bingo!!

We're definitely soulmates ✨✨ So, I guess we're engaged! Come here let me hug you 🤗😘🤗

Aww🥰🥰🥰I'm pretty sure our pictures are gonna be cute af coz we'll be goofy and stare at each other the whole time and I'll tell you something at the last moment and you'll laugh while I'm busy staring at you coz you look beautiful. And that will be our perfect picture 😍

I'm really bad at it so far I've only thought of this question; do you have any pet and Are you a dog person or a cat person? I don't have any pet rn I would love to have one. And I used to be a dog person but then I saw lots of people with these cute little cats and I was like I want one too. So, yeah, I like both dog and cats as long as I can have a pet coz that's all that matters.

If I had million dollars. Well, that's very less for my plans now for a million dollars I would probably make that sound proof room first to blast the music, buy a 67 Chevy Impala, and maybe invest the rest of it somewhere. Apart from this question I'll take it up a notch for if I had Jeff Bezos kind of money coz I sometimes think about when people says he should put that money to good. Okay so first I'll do all the above things then I've seen this in a video I think where it said if Jeff Bezos want he can end pollution or global warming it was one of them I don't recall clearly but it requires few hundred million so I'll go ahead and end pollution. I'll also buy spn and do s15 all over again. These are only things I can think of😂😂 what will you do?

(Yk because we were talking about stars and all that so I remembered that song and I went ahead to listen to it and it had all those lyrics which reminded me of you and how it matches our situation and I can't help but put all those lines dow in the ask. I was thinking about you the whole time while listening to it🤗🤗)

(I've searched your lyrics and I'm adding it to the songs list too. Currently there are like 3-4 songs not a lot of them but if we keep doing it then I'll have a whole list coz I don't know that many English songs)

hell yeah you did, babe!!!😄💞 oh yeah it’s very awesome😎👑 plus, you get vip access;)

okay dean winchester I see you;))))

oh you want competition? you got your competition baby😏 I. Love. You.💋

yaaas! I’m glad you’re down for it! I’ll get you all the pies you want, my beloved<3 I am sooo on board slow dancing with you. I honestly am on board dancing whenever ahah, I sure do love dancing💃🏻

soulmates I swear!!✨ back off people, i’m engaged! *dives into your arms*😚

and then you’ll beg me to use it for our lockets. and I won’t be able to resist your soft puppy eyes, so I do it. after we’re done laughing, I pull out a small box from behind me. you seem confused, so I ask you to open it. it’s an old polaroid camera from the 70s that belonged to my mum, and I want to give it to you. there’s a pack of film underneath which you quickly load up into the camera and take a quick photo of me. you love it so much just like I knew you would. a precious gift for a precious person<3

that’s a great question. hmm, i’m not sure. it depends, I think. like both my bestfriends have a cat and I practically adopted both lol, but one of them doesn’t really vibe with me while the other does. so it really differs from one cat/dog to the other. I wouldn’t mind a soft tiny puppy or a huge husky either. maybe we could get a cute little cat for our new house🤔 what breed would you like?

smart choices!! you really do know how to spend your money;) also, if you wake up and can’t find your car, I stole it🤫 ooo I like, I’ll literally marry you again if you do it. maybe work with greta thunberg to figure it out! ahah pls😂😂😂 just redo the finale, that would be more than enough😂 I’d give a portion to my parents so they could go on that around-the-world cruise they’ve always wanted to do. I’ll take 250K, maybe use part of it to get an aviation license👀 put 300K into savings. that’ll leave us with around 350K which i’ll scatter around charities, campaigns and good causes.

(ok pls this is so cute you are so cute how even- 😭😭😭💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 ilysm that is so nice🥺)

(oooh interesting!! I like that idea. wait, do you have spotify?)

🎶I love how your heart beats whenever I hold you, I love how you think of me without being told to, I love the way your touch is always heavenly. But, darling, most of all I love how you love me🎶💕

#just in case you missed it: you’re so cute and ily #thee lover anon saga <3

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sakurosiee · 4 years ago

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so i had a plot for ushijima cuz i watched a scene in hwarang and wanted to develop a story from it and i just had to write it🤩🤩

Hands pt.1 ; Ushijima Wakatoshi x singer!y/n

Warnings: none really.

Wordcount: don't know, didn't check.

Plot : You, a famous singer, grabs the wrong ass in public.

Your cousin just came back home after finishing a semester of college in US. You of all the people in your family was tasked with picking up your cousin in the airport. You really didn't want to but you belonged in a family of doctors and the lives of their patients will be their first priority. Your cousin's family on the other hand lived far away. If anyone could spare time, it was you.

A very famous singer in and out of your homeland.

It took you quite some time to disguise your self, but covering up avengers-style is not the most effective. Your hair was currently dyed a silver balayage with lightning blue streaks and anyone would've recognized you from afar. Even if you had your hair tied up, people already began to look at you even before you could step inside the airport. Cameras already began to flash and not long after photographers were already there.

You could've asked someone else to pick your cousin up in your stead, but you loved your family even if there were a lot of shortcomings. You missed him badly that you wanted to smack the back of their head even if he was taller than you are. You checked the screens that displayed the flight arrivals and it turns out that he's already here. You immediately took your phone out to check if you had a message from the said cousin but you were called by one of your fans.

They tapped your shoulder and you turned around to see three men. They greeted you first before asking you for a picture but you politely declined, instead you gave them your signature. You smiled at them then proceeded to texting.

_hjmiwa : hey i've been waiting for 30 mins already :< are you here already?

You read his message before responding.

y/n : i'm looking for you! but how tall are you again? What are you wearing and stuff?

_hjmiwa: i'm 1.78m dummy. i'm wearing a gray hoodie too. oh and i have a suitcase and a gym bag.

You irked at his answer. A lot of people wore hoodies of different shades of the colour. You needed more details.

y/n : be more specific please :(

_hjmiwa : i'm wearing red volleyball shoes rn. and unlike other people i'll probably be on my phone the entire time trying to catch up with Japan news. I'm by the clocks too.

Okay that was better. You began to roam around and people looked at you as if you were some lost puppy. Others asked you to take a selfie with them but you couldn't be seen in any social networking sites right now, not when you being in the airport was already causing quite the ruckus. You were lucky though, as everyone in the airport had to move since it was a very busy place but people recognizing you wouldn't miss out. You were thankful that majority of the people inside either smiled or waved at you, in which you returned the favor.

He's 5'10, you thought. The thing is you can't really tell much about height. You stood at 5 foot 7 and heights that went beyond yours was considered tall. So anyone taller than you, you assumed to be 5'10. You did poorly in visualizing sizes and that's one of the reasons why you never bought clothes and furniture online.

You kept looking around for anyone who was a head taller than you that was wearing a gray hoodie, had two bags with them, and most importantly wearing red volleyball shoes. No one would wear volleyball shoes in the airport. You watched the news earlier this evening and there weren't even any announcements about sports and all.

You spot the exact man there. You ticked everything in your checklist when you were able to assure yourself that it is indeed your cousin. Your cousin had a sexy back and that was no lie. You ran up quickly from behind to give them a hug and you did it tightly, planting the sade of your face against his back. You snuggled him and your hands on his stomach felt the hard rock abs underneathe.

You knew that your cousin wasn't this ripped as you recalled the last time you saw the guy.

But it was him anyway.

You told him, "I missed you so much Hajime!"

Even if a lot of people saw this, you really didn't mind the upcoming articles of you hugging a man in public being posted and shared online. You can always say that the person was your cousin and have many others confirm your statement. You pulled away from the back hug you gave this person and grabbed his ass. You pulled your hands away from his ass and said, "That's for always smacking the back of my head you ass!". No one looked your way and you were thankful because you were able to do it freely.

Everything stopped when the person you thought was your cousin slowly turned their heads and stared at you wide-eyed.

You just grabbed the wrong ass.

There was no commotion at all until you made one. You gasped loudly unintentionally. The guy in front of you didn't even recognize who you were. To him, you were just a stranger. You were so embarrassed of what you have just down so you slapped(not really that hard) him across his left cheek.

"Eh, y/n?" The familiar voice says.

That was the voice of your cousin.

You turned around to meet the face of Iwaizumi Hajime. This guy recognized the guy you slapped. He waved at him too but crowds already began to form encircling the two of you. You quickly left strutting in your rubber shoes. You looked behind you to hiss at Iwaizumi, "Come here!". He patted the famous left-handed athlete on the shoulder and said, "It was nice to see you again man. I don't know what's going on between the two of you and what just happened but I-" He gets cut off when you glared through your pink tinted shades. "Sorry got to go!" he said before he rushed to your side, finally leaving the airport left in a mess.

#ushijima x reader #hq #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima #ushijima x y/n #hq ushijima #ushijima scenarios #haikyuu fanfiction #hq x reader #haikyuu ushijima #ushiwaka #iwaizumi

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Jac & Savannah

Jac: Are you warm enough? Jac: 🧣🤗🧤🤗🧥 Savannah: No but that's a total secret, okay? I can't cope with the others judging me for trying to look nice Jac: I'll never tell Jac: [subtly getting her a blanket or something though, obviously] Jac: no one can come for your look 😍 Savannah: [you know we're snuggling under this blanket together because shameless excuse to be close af] Savannah: oh I see, you're trying to warm me up by making me 😳 it's fine that can be our secret too Jac: [would be so 😳 forreal] Jac: you can blame the 🔥 Savannah: [putting her head on the bae's shoulder like we're not already close enough and doing a little happy sigh] Savannah: but your compliments deserve full credit, anything else would be unfair Jac: [patting her head under the guise of checking out the boujee hat] Jac: your outfit arguably deserves a higher class of event but I'm still glad you're here Savannah: [doing a hat swap because we do so love sharing clothes with the bae and it's amusing as well as a shameless excuse to check her out like hmm what do we think] Savannah: I'm glad I'm here too Jac: It would be weird if you weren't Jac: I'm as close to you as my siblings now Jac: in a different way, obviously but still Savannah: [swapping the hats back because the bae is serving a look and also then we have to fix her hair and make that a moment™ soz Amelia for this blatant flirting you are witnessing rn] Savannah: I feel so at home here, with you Jac: [when you think the bae is perfect so you can't even pretend to sort her hair, so you end up fussing with your own after her like ugh it's so unruly but we're 🥰 and seriously soz have a more or something] Jac: You are Jac: you're always welcome, even when we're celebrating weird non-holiday holidays Savannah: [just giving her all the compliments out loud because we see that fussy and also we don't care who hears us, again soz Amelia and snuggling again] Savannah: I'd make you the same offer in a heartbeat if I felt welcome at my house Jac: [snuggling her extra hard for a hot sec there] Jac: I know, baby Savannah: [likewise and just burying our face in the bae's shoulder fully because emotions and doing a little sad sigh this time] Jac: [doing something to make her happy, probably posting the picture of her for example] Savannah: [giving her all the compliments again because that is a good picture tbh gal you clearly have skills but then because I'm evil I'm gonna say your bf sees it and so you're texting him forever while he's with his friends doing whatever] Jac: [at least you have an excuse to get up, like your other guests lol] Savannah: [just gotta do something extra as she's getting up like take her hand and make her do a little spin or something cos you're a nerd and we know you care more about this than whatever your bf is saying] Jac: don't faint Savannah: catch me & it won't be an issue Jac: I don't need to tell you it's dangerous to play near or with 🔥 Savannah: [as close to a LOOK as we can get away with] Jac: 😈 Savannah: he wants to see me, like, right now Savannah: but I don't think he's offering a higher class of event Jac: 😏 and obviously, you have to make him sweat it out a bit Jac: right? Savannah: all night at least Jac: Poor Ty Savannah: Do you think I'm being too 😈? Jac: not enough, if anything Savannah: oh really, well I hate that Jac: I'm sure it'll do the job on Ty Jac: but I think you could do better Savannah: of course I could, especially if the alternative means disappointing you Savannah: I don't ever want to Jac: It's very unlikely that you could Savannah: It's impossible, I promise Jac: Don't worry, it wasn't a challenge Savannah: I'm not worried if it is, I'll rise to it for you Jac: 🌠🌠🌠 Jac: I am going to have to challenge my brother not to be that basic white boy who brings out an acoustic 'round the campfire, excuse me 🙄😅 Savannah: 😄 Savannah: as long as Isabelle doesn't decide to sing along, because it'll be a challenge for me to sit through that Jac: 😬 Jac: she ALWAYS gets the words wrong! Jac: I think she might be partially deaf Savannah: you would know Savannah: it's a shame she's HOPELESS at sign language Jac: honestly, she'd need to do some brain training first Jac: bless her Savannah: I'm still waiting for you to teach me, maybe I'll be worse than she is Jac: [gutted you can't say gay things 'cos most people here can understand but you can still come teach her] Savannah: [Amelia do be watching you and she definitely can] Savannah: [Jude would also just be chiming in telling Savannah what she's doing wrong like a blunt bitch so now we're mortified because we have to be good at everything] Jac: [just showing her how to tell Jude to fuck off or something like excuse you] Savannah: [literally never swears because she's that kind of trying to be classy so you've been spared gal but we're not forgetting that you made us look a fool] Jac: She literally couldn't tie her own shoes 'til like last year Jac: I wouldn't spend any energy on her Savannah: it's fine, I'd rather know my mistakes Jac: She knows it's as rude to listen in on a sign conversation as it is a normal one Jac: honestly, I don't know where her manners have gone half the time Savannah: I'll have to get better now so we can have a conversation worth listening in on Jac: I'll show you properly Jac: when we have some privacy Savannah: you can come home with me, we'll have plenty of privacy if we leave here late enough Jac: You're really gonna make him wait then Jac: 😘 Savannah: he'll be too drunk to be any use to me once his friends are done with him Savannah: & anyway, I want to be with you Jac: Good Jac: of course I'll come Savannah: I feel like I haven't even seen you since Ty & I reconciled, I've really missed you Jac: he had a lot he had to make up for Jac: so I've missed you more Savannah: [touching that necklace he gave us without realising we're doing it as we recall that horrible argument] Savannah: I'm all yours now Jac: Good Jac: because we're both going to need really long 🛀 to get the smoke smell out of our hair Savannah: ugh true! I'll wash yours if you wash mine Jac: 100% Jac: and would you ever trust a boy with your hair, no matter how sorry he is Savannah: No way! Savannah: plus he's too tall to fit in the 🛁 with me, even the huge one at my house Savannah: he'd just sulk the entire time Savannah: I'm so sorry I'm taller than the other girl you dated Jac: the basketball boys always go out with tiny girls Jac: it's like their thing Jac: so weird Savannah: right? 🙄 Savannah: it's a totally possessive thing, I'm glad you can't stand over me to feel powerful, excuse me Jac: honestly Jac: people always talk about short guy's complexes but tall lads think they're so superior just for having a few inches, okay we get what you're trying to put out and it ain't cute Savannah: exactly Savannah: & if picking me up & throwing me around is SUCH a turn on for you, work at it 💪🏾 I have to put in effort to look good too Jac: Not about it Savannah: Ty isn't either, he's the gentlest boy in the world Jac: Yeah he is Savannah: maybe too gentle sometimes, but I didn't say so Jac: I get it Jac: you don't have to think he's perfect just because you're going out with him Savannah: he definitely doesn't think I am Jac: he's got no complaints though Savannah: for now, I suppose Jac: he told me, you saw Jac: he thinks you're good, if not perfect Savannah: he doesn't want to lose me Jac: he's not stupid Savannah: ^^ he'll say anything, that's what boys do Jac: yeah Jac: how much they mean is a different story Savannah: my dad's never meant a single word he's said to us Jac: even if he meant it at the time Jac: he didn't stick to his word, and that's what counts Savannah: yes, it is Jac: Ty's dependable Savannah: I'm not though, I'm a wreck Jac: hey Jac: [looks at her and shakes her head like no] Jac: do you want to go inside for a bit? we can be getting more food and drinks or whatever Savannah: okay Jac: [casually run off hand in hand so you can go properly talk about this] Savannah: [soz not soz everyone] Jac: [also said your garden would not be that big so probably gonna need to go upstairs or down so everyone's not just 👀 lol] Savannah: [get in the basement for that parallel] Jac: [sounds creepy but yes lol, go forth for that privacy hens] Savannah: [yet again we're just telling the bae stuff that we haven't told anyone including our bf #bonding] Jac: [we know the fucking vibes, y'all gonna be ages and do not care remotely] Savannah: [gotta fix Savannah's makeup for her to because she'll have done a little cry so that's gay & intimate] Jac: [honestly how this kiss doesn't happen sooner hun] Savannah: [that's the scolding hot tea] Jac: [casual patience of a saint somehow] Savannah: [we both know you're scared to cross that line hens] Jac: [mhmm how you just don't though when the tension is this high and obvious but you know, sort yourselves out] Savannah: [for now though go back outside to find Amelia has left] Jac: how rude Savannah: Do you have any messages from her? Jac: she told them she was feeling sick Jac: but she's not said anything more than that in a message either Savannah: one of her migraines? Jac: probably Jac: smoke can be a trigger, I guess Jac: oh well, I'll message her in the group chat, make sure she's okay Savannah: I hope she got home okay Savannah: it was a bit rude of Is not to go with her & make sure Jac: ^^ I'm like, girl Jac: you've had THREE hot dogs Jac: you could've done without the last one to be a better friend but priorities, I suppose Savannah: ^^ she could've at least come & got us so we could do the right thing if she wasn't going to Jac: Seriously Jac: now I look lowkey bad like thanks 🙄 Savannah: No, it's my fault Savannah: I feel bad, poor Amelia Jac: Oh my God, no, it's so not your fault Savannah: it's okay, I know I'm beyond demanding Jac: You aren't Jac: She just has a headache Jac: you're actually going through it right now Jac: you deserve time to vent Savannah: 😔 Savannah: but I do understand if you're upset with me Jac: I'm not, at all Jac: just at Is a bit for not handling the whole situation properly Savannah: Would you like me to talk to her? Jac: That's fine, we don't need to get into their drama Jac: it's like, not a situation and not going to be one because Is either wants it to be or is literally too ditzy to check in on Amelia herself without being explicitly told Savannah: You're right Savannah: you deserve a good night even if it is a fake holiday Jac: I'm having a good night with you Savannah: Oh please, I can do better Savannah: I've been crying for most of it Savannah: [proves it by doing the most, throwing ourselves into all the activities and thus the bae as well] Savannah: [I like to imagine poor Isabelle trying to get involved & we're just subtly not having it] Jac: [montage time, honestly Is you would've been better to leave too, at least the fam is here so you aren't being totally ignored lol] Savannah: [soz that we're just falling in love here] Jac: [literally can't help it sorry they don't mean the harm they casually do] Savannah: now you're having a good night Jac: an even better one, yeah Savannah: I'll be your 🌠 Savannah: anything you want, all you have to do is whisper it to me & I'll make sure it comes true Jac: Tinkerbell's got nothing on you Savannah: your happiness is so important to me, with or without the 👏🏾 Jac: you know I'd do anything for you too Jac: I feel like I should do more Jac: be better Savannah: you do more for me than anyone else EVER has, if you did more you'd be putting your own mental health & wellbeing at risk for the sake of mine Savannah: I'm not trying to be a drain of you like Is, who literally needs her hand held through every little thing Jac: I know, you're just so good to me Jac: but you're good FOR me too Savannah: I'm not always this selfish, I swear Jac: you're literally the most selfless Jac: all you do is look after Sienna and you're the best friend to me and girlfriend to Ty Jac: it hurts my heart sometimes Jac: I just wanna take care of you and make your life so easy you can thrive and shine Savannah: You're going to make me cry again Savannah: [IRL 🥺 because the bae is so pure & genuinely takes such good care of us] Savannah: I'll survive this & you'll see what I'm actually like without all this drama surrounding me Savannah: I really will be the best friend to you forever Jac: [we're such emotional bitches atm and always tbh hennys] Jac: I know you will, you're already amazing Jac: you're going to be unstoppable Jac: and I'm gonna be right there with you Savannah: [it's the only emotion we can safely express rn because smooching is forbidden] Savannah: I'm totally fine with doing trust falls Savannah: you know I believe in you & our future together Jac: 🌍 sister connection Jac: [because we are all earth signs except Amelia soz gal] Savannah: ^^ yes! Savannah: [take your bae to dance because it's a party and that's the only excuse we need] Jac: [bye at how much of a moment that'd be] Savannah: [literally there's every chance it's the first time they have because her bf would always be there at parties and stuff so I'm deceased] Jac: [we know you'd have no qualms stealing her away but a party with loads of peers is different from how intimate this is, at best everyone has a few friends] Savannah: [exactly that, so glad you don't have to see this Amelia you really would have a headache] Jac: [yeah this would be 💔] Savannah: [thank god we've got Isabelle cockblocking rn because y'all are too in love tbh] Jac: [just joins in 'cos not in love with you and thus oblivious] Savannah: [they'd be so annoyed lol] Jac: [lmao oh isabelle] Savannah: [go get some drinks or something gals and whisper shade to each other about this poor third wheel because any excuse to keep that intimacy going] Jac: [it's a good thing you are lowkey oblivious or you'd be way more upset by it all too] Savannah: [god bless you Isabelle, so soz you get done so dirty] Jac: [in the end you live your best life, just not being friends with this squad lol] Savannah: [the best thing for you is getting new friends my love, but for now I like to imagine she's talking to them about some boy or other, remember those you massive gays] Jac: 😬 him Jac: seriously?!? Savannah: What is she thinking of? & more importantly, what part of her body is leading her in those thoughts Jac: 😷 I can't Jac: so many cold showers necessary for her and honestly just some 🧼 for him Savannah: He asked me out, knowing full well I'm not single or interested, it was horrific Jac: the definition of no shame Savannah: I didn't know what to do Jac: I bet you didn't Jac: the actual nerve Savannah: Not to sound like Amelia, but I genuinely have no understanding of what she approves of or thinks we'll approve of about most of the boys she talks about Jac: Availability? Jac: like, imagine that was all a boy had to say about you Savannah: that's so sad Jac: like if they weren't so gross themselves, I'd feel sorry for them Savannah: I've just decided, I'm going to find her a boyfriend we can all stand to be around, Ty'll know someone Savannah: it'll give you a much needed break from how clingy she is & my heart won't hurt anymore from hearing her talk like this about boys who aren't worthy Jac: Such a nice idea 👼🏾 Jac: does he know anyone that will deal with her though Jac: she's a lot Savannah: It may not be an overnight success but I'll work my 🔮✨ Jac: I believe in nothing harder than I believe in your magic Savannah: I'm your girl too, just like you told Ty, of course you have faith in me & because you do, I feel so capable of anything 🥰 Jac: It had to be said Jac: like we said, the possessive thing, not it Jac: you're you and you're so many things to so many people, and you're especially important to me Jac: if he wants you, he's gotta accept that Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: I love you & you're always going to be part of my life, I hope he is too, obviously but there's none of that uncertainty with you, you are & you will be Jac: Right, romantic relationships are arguably almost always the least secure, that's just realistic Jac: ask any girl who ditches ALL her friends and then gets dumped Savannah: oh god, I could NEVER Savannah: I need you Jac: The concession they must make in their lives, like, who do you talk to about the stuff he has no interest in, who gives you advice from a woman's perspective??? Jac: so toxic Savannah: He & I have very different styles of self care, I'm sorry I simply would not survive Jac: 🏋️ is part of the daily grind, NOT a way to unwind, sorry Ty Savannah: 😄 Savannah: Don't worry, I promise I won't wake you as early tomorrow for our workout Jac: I'm not, I nearly ALWAYS wake up before you Jac: but that's okay, you look adorable and very peaceful 😴😘 Savannah: well it takes me longer to fall asleep Savannah: you look even more adorable & peaceful then 👼🏻☁ Jac: okay, so we're even 😅 Savannah: the universe is keeping everything in balance for us Savannah: I love that Jac: I know, right? Jac: if we had a 👶🏾 or a job share we'd be KILLING it Savannah: 🥺 you're going to have the cutest babies ever! Jac: 🤞 the dad's DNA doesn't screw that up Savannah: No way, we'll find you someone perfect Jac: I have more hope for Uni Savannah: you don't trust my matchmaking skills? Jac: No, no Jac: just the boys you have to choose from here 😬😂 Savannah: 😄You're right, an LDR makes much more sense for you & I wouldn't have to share you as often Savannah: I'll find you a first year uni boy who goes to school with Ty's brother Jac: You think so? Savannah: definitely, he'll fit into your schedule without wanting to become your schedule Savannah: & you may actually be able to have & sustain a proper conversation, depending what he studies Jac: you really do have the best ideas Jac: Obviously down Savannah: [immediately starts sending her pics and profiles because we're extra] Savannah: Let me know who you like & I'll totally make it happen Jac: I'll look properly tonight at yours Jac: [like no, Isabelle, you may not have more than a peep so you're #curious] Savannah: there's no rush, whenever you're ready Jac: 😍😍 Savannah: [snuggling again with our IRL 😍 because we're in love bitch] Savannah: [Savannah is just that touchy feely hoe like soz gal she's gonna just be touching you ALL THE TIME] Jac: [at least you'd have to vaguely get used to it or literally die haha, we know the 😍 are and will be for you but we'll pretend to be into these lads so we can scheme it together] Savannah: [we've since the pics you had a touchy feely vibe with Amelia too, even if it was more like hugs and piggy backs lol you can do this] Jac: [mhmm, arguably you can't but you carry it on for a long time lol]

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tamiddyinyourcity · 4 years ago

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ill cool off eventually, shit is just intensely feeling rn, and once I move on, it's all good fam.

I might do a movie night with Cam if he's off of work. He's a good buddy, I think it's his turn to choose a film. (Men suck at choosing movies, but hey. Still, positive and silent company is better than none.)

Just... lord. Blaze REALLY fucked up, if he can get me like a million (very lovely, im grateful) items, give me my favorite food, a fuckton of desserts, and STILL have me like "I don't want to be with you anymore", or even hate him.

Me? Of all people? Hating someone to this fucking extent? Fucks sake.

It's more a strong feeling of disgust and betrayal.

But I'm not the idiot that was given multiple chances to be open, non-exclusive, casual, honest, and just not a freaking creep, and STILL fucked it up, and being super weird behind his girlfriend's back, despite knowing how she already was worried about me not being as interested or focused on her as I could possibly be.

Hell. No.

I'm the girl that met his family and got along with them, been on dates with him; just to have my fears confirmed. And was disrespected. And has every reason to feel repulsed by the guy. Jesus, fuck.

God, couldn't have just been non exclusive?????? It'd still be lame but at least slightly fucking less depressing for me, if I know "Okay, he's still hooked on Sara, despite her never orgasming with him and depriving him from attention. Some people like that, I know, been there done that. I'll just focus less on that, more on our hangouts, and otherwise about chasing a bag or millionaire or whatever."

Men are..... so dumb.

I think even when I felt strongly for someone else with another, it wasn't something I hid from a partner at all, and definitely was not exclusive with them.

....

5:02pm, Friday, August 7th of 2020.

Time to do my usual "how much do you hate this person" test, with the Train Station mental health exam. Lmfao.

The question of "If you saw this person trip a little too close to the edge, or standing on the train line, what would you do? Pull them to safety, push them, or let god handle whatevers next?"

My answer for Blaze, is......

I wouldn't push them.

It's not that serious of an issue to that extent.

I'm not in the state of mind where I'd rush to pull them, but probably when the train gets too close, I'd go, "Fuck, that's too fucking close, shit", and yank that nigga to safety. Then probably curse him out for not being careful, aaaaand then flood the train station with my damn tears from how scared shitless I was.

But..... yeah, I don't hate them, apparently.

If I did, I wouldn't have hugged him the other night. (And I kissed them, but that was purely out of accidental habit, and isn't the first time I've accidentally kissed someone.... or well, first time I fully did it. Last time I can recall, it was the first time me and P2 broke up, but then we had a makeup date, where we came to terms with our differences and left. But before I got out his car, I thought, "I really wanna kiss him. But I can't. So..." and just kissed his hand and left. It was awkward, but, still pleasant for him either way.)

5:56pm. Friday, August 7th of 2020.

I'm torn.

They've done terrible things. Coercing me and pressuring me thick about cumming inside during sex. Pressuring me into having sex with them before we had an established commitment and trust with eachother. And even then, clearly not being committed, since oh look; he was creeping on ol girl and trying to DM her behind my back. Broke up with me.

And oh look.

He refollowed that bitch.

God, he's just asking to be blocked, it seems like.

.....

The good doesn't seem to seem legitimate.

He got me pillows. He went around in Target hunting for which pillows were the softest, but firmest, and could hold and reshape at will, since he heard I had problems sleeping on my side, and how my neck cranes awkwardly and gives me hypertension all day.

He was squishing and fluffing every random pillow he could with PRECISION, as if he worked at a fluffing factory. But he did make a very nice choice....

When I got my hand stuck in a ring (attached to a box) in Target, he made sure to use both hands and help me pry those puppies off, as if I was a four year old stuck in a chinese finger trap gag toy.

And of course, him being a little *too* ecstatic to get me jewelry. I was gonna stop at like, maybe 9 pieces or so, I think. But apparently he gets just as excited as seeing me in pretty things as I do, (awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww,) and kept holding things up like "This necklace with these earrings, or that? Or, you could wear these one day with the necklace and this with another. OOOOH, BLACK GEMS! These are purrrty! Get these! Wait, OOOOOOO, look at these ones. I know you like these ones, you wear this sorta rosey, peachy kinda pink a lot."

Ughhhhhhhhhhh so you're just gonna interrupt my silent treatment and go for the JUGULAR with my favorite types of jewelry??????? My god I hate you. (I really wanna fucking make out with him.)

I'm still really disgusted at him.

Just..... "Well why WOULDN'T i be sexually attracted to her????" You fucking toolbag? You're gonna say that to your girlfriend's fucking face, you actual cunt? What a slag.

It's too much to fucking excuse.

He didn't even apologize.

Didn't bother.

Didn't try talking to me. Didn't do jack shit. That asshole just confirmed the end of the relationship, and refollowed her.

Ugh. Disgusting.

I hate how overly sweet they're pretending to be. It just feels false, in comparison to the things I've heard come out of his mouth.

Then it makes me wonder, was any of it real? Did he actually enjoy it? The sex, the talks, the cuddling, eating dinner and cooking for me, did he even really like me? Or, what?

I can't think about this anymore. He liked me, but if a guy is still in the "im exclusive but i dont know if this could ever head anywhere" stage a month in, and simultaneously instagram creeping another bitch.......... its too obvious of a sign to ignore.

He was still a great guy, though. But I mean, not to sound like a pickme or anything, but some dudes just aren't ready to be with the girls who want them.

He was too afraid of fucking up, too caught up on finally getting the validation and appreciation from the girl who ignores him and doesnt even understand him, all since he saw me do it. Its happened before, it'll fucking happen again.

.......

Plus, he did admit to having a "bored and ignored" kink.

Just...... ugh.

How did I handle previous breakups, hm?:

Zack 1 - Lots of crying, eventually left them cold turkey for good, glod up, temporarily ruined their life, moved on, then dated someone else. Since sure with Zack, similar happened. RIGHT as things went well for us for the first time in fucking YEARS, what did this nigga decide to do? Start trying to DM slide a bitch who ghosted him and leaves him on read. Despite having my fine ass, beautiful ass, sexy ass? And FINALLY having my trust, and interest in him?????? Was a twat when I left him, tried ruining my life, but not my problem. Plus at first I was like, "Aw darn, lost my rich ex boyfriend. He had such a nice family, and he was generous". Bada bing, bada boom, met a slightly less psychopathic guy who was also generous, treated me out, and ridiculously good at oral sex. A good change, honestly.

First ex - got hot. Got new interests. Learned about feminism, institutionalized racism, and more. Made lots of online friends who loved hearing about my life. Felt amazing.

Zack 2 - went insane..... then eventually got really hot yet again, saw the heavens by Adrian, and eventually found someone else to get all dickmatized over.

Marco - got a job, and I think I fucked Zack 2 by then. Marco is..... just eh.

Patrick 1 - got sad for a long time, but then got really really hot, met someone new.

Patrick 2 - lost my mind, then got really hot and fucked someone new.

Juan Carlos - got really depressed, extreme downward spiral, got really hot, tried to not rush dating someone new and failed then fucked.

12:05am.

I told Blaze to kill himself.

Bad words leave the mouths of scorned women.

I lack a care for him.

24 hours of crying means I care very little about him right now.

I'm more interested in getting hot and fucking someone new.

And i made a new friend today. Their name is Max. They seem great. :)

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