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canmom · 4 months ago

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100%ed neon white.

it took about 32 hours. lots to say about this game...

mechanics/design

it is fr an absolute tour de force of mechanics and level design. call it a platformer or an FPS (it's kinda both), it delivers a sense of speed and flow like few games I've played. since this is a pretty big inspiration for types of game I might want to make (such as the backburned THRUST//DOLL project) let me break it down a bit.

the learning curve is excellent. like many games, it gradually introduces new movement options with interesting ways to combine them, and levels themed around the new movement option. but the shortcut hints system adds an extra dimension. essentially, levels are scored on time, with bronze/silver/gold/ace medals; generally speaking the level will guide you along a route, and a clean run will get you the gold, which will unlock a hint to guide you to a shortcut which will let you reach the ace. the ace times are far from optimal, but do tend to require a bit of execution skill.

the result of this design is that it's hard to get stuck, but you are gradually given an introduction to speedrun routing over the course of the game. I was, inevitably, the type of player to insist on getting an ace on each level (and grabbing the gift) before moving on, but it is totally optional. that said, it's perfectly designed to retry levels until you nail it: restarting is near instant, the music doesn't get interrupted, and it's very easy to get into a flow state, gradually getting more familiar with the level and discovering new tricks.

along with this is the gift system, required to unlock additional dialogues and backstory scenes. every level has a gift box hidden somewhere, and while this isn't timed, it takes on more of a puzzle aspect as you have to figure out the right way to use the level's movement resources to platform to the gift.

the design of the levels has something in common with a Sonic level: a series of rapid dashes forwards interspersed with moments of floating in the air, when you need to spot the next thing to target. generally speaking it's built to facilitate flow: if you're on the main route, you typically get a movement card just at the moment you'll need it, mixing between sections of shooting and using the discard to keep you on your toes. (even so, it does kind of have a rhythm game aspect). the level design, colour palette etc. does a solid job of guiding your eye towards the next place to go.

enemies are stationary, and only barely a hazard - generally more of a tool. they're part of the level design, with many of the later levels designed around specific enemies which either kill other enemies or help you move. since most levels require you to kill all the demons 'when to kill which enemy and how' is a large part of the routing, but generally speaking you kill enemies nearly instantly if you're on pace.

I ended up playing most of the game on controller; there is a pretty helpful aim assist that makes this possible at all, though I switched to kb+m on the last few levels where rapid aiming became more important. in my previous post I said the controls are 'tight' - what I mean by that more precisely is essentially loads of air control. indeed, you have pretty much the same horizontal acceleration in the air and on the ground, making it very easy to steer into position to line up moves.

in general I think a huge aspect that makes this game work is that it's very predictable. there is essentially zero RNG beyond the chaos of physics; enemies have predictable attack patterns and always stand in the same place, so you can plan like 'I'll grab the shotgun and shoot that guy then dash through that guy which will give me the rifle and let me dash into that balloon' etc. etc. it is also very visually readable, making it pretty easy to make a split second judgement of where to go next while hurtling through the air.

this is exactly how speedrunners tend to approach games, minimising sources of randomness and exploiting predictable behaviours; in general the genius of this game is to take the jank out of speedrunning so that you don't have to master complicated tech or rely on RNG to get the experience of gradually refining your movement through a level.

but, it's not just 'easy mode speedrunning'. even just looking at friends' times, I can see there is a huge degree of room for improvement; the global leaderboard even more so. there are special secret red medals if you can beat the lead developers' times, of which I have so far managed to get only one (it took me by surprise on a late-game level), and even then I'm still like forty seconds behind a friend's score on that level. I bet there's some crazy tech in the fastest runs. maybe at some point I'll go back and see if I can tighten up my times on other levels, though I feel pretty satisfied as thing stand.

all in all, should I manage to return to solo game dev projects (or even if we ever make a speed game at work), there is a lot to learn from Neon White.

narrative/aesthetic

so mechanically, very positive. on the aesthetic aspect: it's a very slick game, particularly with machine girl's latter-day breakcore soundtrack (machine girl is the most trans-ass name for a band but is actually two guys, unless some eggs remain uncracked here...). the UI flows very nicely - not quite as flashy as something like Persona 5 but definitely in that direction. it's a game that wants you to know it's stylish; Paradise Killer comes to mind.

and visually it's very solid! the levels are varied and, while generally consisting of 'floating architecture over an ocean', appealingly lit and coloured. the enemies have distinctive silhouettes and there are some cool unusual designs, like the giant laser heads, as well as some classics, like mimic chests (not particularly stealthy).

but of course the main visual aspect is the character portraits, illustrated by Rebecca Ryan. which is to say: white clothes with monochrome accents according to each character's colour name (curiously the characters are known only by colours in both life and death), animesque illustration, and hannya masks. and a bunch of symbolic manga-like expressions (blush, anxiety gloom, etc.) these portraits (plus, here and there, CGs) show up in the visual novel-style story sections and generally speaking, they work - if in a very 'Americans paying tribute to anime' way.

the story... most of what people react to is the whole weebcore thing it's got going on, finding it either cringe or endearing depending on taste. I feel like there is little to say about this that has not already been said. apparently the intent was to fit the style of dubbed anime, and... yep, it does.

instead I want to talk about... the religion thing! because what's going on there!

well, it's not that complicated on one level. the smarmy 'believers' stormed heaven and killed god, setting up essentially an american mall in its place. but this 'heaven' is actually Sheol; God was managing it using two macguffins called the Books of Life and Death. your goal turns into restoring God to His rightful place. these Books come with a Star of David on the cover, with a bunch of smaller ones around it...

the game is also however full of crosses, which generally speaking seem to be the Believers' symbol/weapon, as seen here in the Third Temple area (you know... not clear why this is in the afterlife as opposed to Jerusalem)

so it's fairly easy to read: most of the old school 'Heaven as it should be' stuff is associated with Jewish symbolism, but the dang Christians ruined everything.

the plot, meanwhile, rather heavy-handedly focuses on a theme of the importance of forgiveness. broadly speaking the story is that our lovable MCs - dorky MC White, slightly dommy love interest Red, childish and violent Violet, and laid back bro Yellow - who were all treated as disposable tools by the group's abusive leader Green. who is basically Vicious.

right down to the hairstyle!

the characters in this game, while decently voice acted, are all terribly one note archetypes. the story flashbacks almost all concern the botched job where Green - with White's support - led the whole group to their deaths for the sake of a long held grudge.

later in the story, Green gets a new 'destroy this shoddy universe' motivation, but it is honestly pretty unconvincing. probably the best aspect of his character is the dark yaoibait interactions with his object of obsession White, but this isn't the kind of game to go all-in on that front (its attitude to sexuality is very much a 'tease but don't depict').

all this leads up to a final decision to basically decide whether Green goes to heaven or hell. if you send him upstairs, White also gets to move on (I picked this since the game was blatantly angling very hard towards this being the true end); if you don't, White apparently remains trapped in Sheol until the next cycle. the thrust of it is basically you need to forgive and move on instead of obsessing over those who have wronged you.

Green remains unrepentant throughout - if you Book of Life him, he's not exactly happy about this, going like 'what do you have to gain from this' lol. the point is pretty explicitly not 'your enemies deserve forgiveness' and more 'don't let them live rent free in your head' I guess.

as a theme this is... reasonable enough? probably best not to stay mad about shit if you can avoid it, though certainly easier said than done. but the presentation suffers a lot from, well, telling/showing issues. you know this is the theme because towards the end of the game, the characters talk about it, a lot. ironically for a game in which you get sermonised at by comedically smug preachers in between chapters, it feels very much like sitting in a sermon: abstract ideals that don't really connect because the characters are so one-dimensional.

(it turned out, reading the credits, that one of the co-writers of this game was Aevee Bee, of WKTD/HWBM. I have lingering beef with her because she joined in brigading a friend of mine out of the indie game sphere over spurious vague accusations back in the day - a peripheral player but still very much on the wrong side of it, and to my knowledge she never apologised or anything. so it all feels kind of 'bit rich coming from you' for her to go off about the importance of forgiveness and moving on. but, even aside from that, on a craft level the story's approach to its theme already felt heavy-handed and unconvincing.)

beyond that... I'm just plain not convinced that resurrecting God is all that. the game's presentation of God is basically distorted audio and blurry shapes for text, with the characters reacting as if they understand; the Angels are presented as cute cartoon cats with the explicit conceit that this is just White's brain comprehending the incomprehensible (though we do get a brief wheel of eyes appearance near the end). but the reason the plot has to play out as it does, with God essentially choosing White to put things right because of the remorse in his soul... well, let's just say I don't much like chosen-one narratives in general, and the Abrahamic set dressing does not help. it feels very arbitrary, but also a bit straightforward and comfy for all this vague guesturing towards being strange and alien.

all that said, as much as I'm ragging on it, I do appreciate that it tried for something. a distinctive identity which doesn't fit my taste is better than a game with no identity. the character interactions are generally pretty charmingly silly. White and Red do at least make a convincing couple. Sungwon Cho is there, playing a father-figure office worker angel in his characteristic style.

other observations

the game's team is very small, with one developer (Esposito) doing most of the programming and mechanics; besides that we have a couple of level designers, a couple of artists... However, it had the funding of Annapurna Interactive, who recently made the news for basically imploding, but have been a pretty big player in the indie sphere of late. and obvs Machine Girl are kinda huge in their scene, but really a lot of the names are also pretty familiar ones if you've been hanging around indie games for a while. it's sort of like... indie but by broadly established names. still, small team makes me wonder: how feasible is it to make a game along these lines, either as a solo project or with a similarly small team at work?

what is notable is that it seems to have gone through a pretty long period of iteration; apparently an earlier version of it used randomly drawn cards, before the current predictable speedrunning focus came in as a clearly better approach. which is interesting: it has such a laser focused design that I would have guessed that it would be a speedrunning game from the outset. definitely a testament to experimenting around different ideas, which is really the essence of game dev.

the main thing I feel like I should take away if I return to working on THRUST//DOLL - which had a very similar planned structure, of fast levels that focus on time and visual novel sections to tell the story - is that if you're moving at high speed, it's absolutely essential that the information that you need to make a decision is readable, and acting on it is not too finicky. I might have to rethink the bullet-hell aspect, and introduce similar 'snap to enemy' mechanics to the dash abilities in the later stages. something to think about another day, anyway, I'm not sure when I might be able to continue that project.

all in all, fun game, very addicting, I have so much work to catch up on now...

#computer games #neon white

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naoknowswhat · 1 year ago

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I made a Clover sketch tonight, look at him I love him (and i also really like how it turned out wth)

and IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE THIS ITTY BITTY TINY MAN. i would NOT hesitate to die for him in a situation where such methods are needed.

Now before you continue I warn you the following is basically me rambling about how much I fucking love undertale yellow heheheh (Also a lot of spoilers ahead).

I have spent the whole day playing this stupid (fantastic, amazing, marvelous) game, I kid you not that I went from the end of the ruins to the fucking steamworks, which said out loud doesn't sound like a lot of time but uhhh for me it was if you consider that I've investigated EVERY FUCKING INCH OF THE MAP.

I'm not complaining, oh ho ho (merry Xmas) I'm not complaining because its been the most fun I've had playing a game in a WHILE, its made my life better and now im gonna spend the rest of the year (and probably more) obsessed over all the characters and their stories (mostly Clover and Martlet ngl).

But I gotta admit that even if I find the Ut yellow's characters a lot different than the ones from the original game, I can't help but love them the same. Look, I'm no expert on character design but I smile every time I see Martlet comment something or simply being on screen, I start laughing whenever I see a hint of Mo on any frame, heck you mention any of the characters and I immediately start smiling like an idiot, and the whole scene with North Star? The Feisty Five?? CEROBA?? I died, the moment I stepped on the town I fucking died.

I remember being really, REALLY into undertale when I was like 10-11 years old, and suddenly opening yt one day and watching my favourite YouTuber play the demo of this fan game, and i remember thinking "oh wow that game looks really cool!" Simply because of the concept of watching how it was like for any of the other souls to go through the underground, instead of Frisk. AND NOW, YEARS LATER I GET TO PLAY IT BY MYSELF, you don't know how special this game is for me.

For me it isn't only a fan game, or the story of another fallen human, for me it's getting an opportunity to enjoy the main thing that inspired me back the from zero, getting to learn about new characters, about new stories, and new perspectives. For me it's also getting an opportunity to meet them all, to be their "friend" and to live an adventure all by myself because back then i could only sit and watch everyone else do all the things i wanted to do, because back then i could only look at them all having fun, laughing with the good things and crying with the bad memories while separated through a screen.

Today I got to meet them all and to laugh with the unexpected dialogue, while learning that even in a fictional story not everything is painted in bright pink, I saw them get into trouble and also helped them overcome it, and it was amazing.

I also got to die and die and die again and again because I realised at the beginning of the game that I'm really bad at it (i cant blame the controller, I know it :( ), but it also made me promise myself that i would keep going no matter what, because i really wanted to see what's next. Heck you could say I kept going because of my determination ;).

I haven't finished the game yet, but I already know I'm gonna replay it over and over, I wanna catch every detail, investigate and discover every mystery, and i wanna make so many theories already, I CAN'T WAIT TO LOVE THIS GAME.

So for now have a not-so-quick sketch of Clover, the bearer of the yellow soul, the one who has quickly made way into my heart, and it seems the little shit is now living there rent free.

If you've read all the way to the end wth is wrong with you, and also thanks a lot for the attention, I was really excited to talk about this game to someone but didn't know how to do it, so I figured tumblr was the place pla to write for an hour, so the short-drawing post is now my review of the game hehehehe.

Anyway thanks for reading to the very end, I hope you have an amazing rest of the year, and most importantly a great begining of the new one <3.

#undertale #ut yellow #amazing game 10000000/10 #ut Clover #im so excited to finish the game #but im gonna take my time to do it hehehe #my art shit

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thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls · 1 month ago

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Lark can I just ask u 1-25 for end of year asks or is that too much? 🤨 if it is then choose the ones u wanna answer the most but if u have the timeeee <3

kelp i'm going insane i love answering questions this is the best thing ever

uh. answers under the cut so everyone else gets spared/silly

According to spotify wrapped it was Nothing matters by the Last Dinner Party but I'd say Good Luck Babe by chappell roan (not that amazing but that was me discovering her music)

...I don't listen to albums...but if musicals count then the Heathers soundtrack lmao

I deleted this question and then forgot if it said solo artists and/or bands but!! Lesley Gore! Yes she sung in the 60's if i'm correct but I love her music

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE that movie makes me ill/pos

Sweetooth because its last season came out this year and I'm still not recovering (you should watch it,,,its rlly good,,)

I don't rlly watch tv shows (i should) so I'd say a podcast episode that stuck with me this year was the first ep of the Peachyville Horror just cuz I love the characters <3

David Tennant. I do not know actors but I questioned my gender and sexuality over that man

Mouthwashing even though I've pretty recently discovered it and haven't even played it myself

I had to go through my photos for this one but best month would be July! Even though it started kinda shitty (breakup lmao), it was Artfight season and thats the most connected I've felt with other artists in agesss

I won't say breakup but I will say The Dictionary of Lost Words by Pip Williams made me question my life and sob (its such a good book)

Wear whatever I want in public!! Or just get better self confidence next year would be great

I did make a new irl friend but egh not on good terms anymore so I'd say in online friends literally all my mutuals I talk to now hiii love you guys (this includes you kelp/lh)

It was great!! Some planning issues but I had a picnic :]

besides the book i already recommended, there's An Unexpected Party edited by Seth Malacari which is a bunch of short queer speculative fiction stories set in Australia and it makes me so so happy to see characters like me fr!!! (its way more diverse than I was expecting and covers so many things besides queerness)

skipping school...school attendance DROPPED this year but 2025 will be my year trust

For the life of me I can't remember meals but I can say a food related memory. I'm half latino and I said tortilla in the whitest way possible unironically and I can't escape it/hj

Tbh school! Chose subjects I think I'll really enjoy next year

I learned a lot in artstyle! My art has evolved and I'm very happy about that

Redecorated my room at my mum's so now its more cozy :D

Sydney! Go there pretty much every year to see family but its still a nice place to go

To be prepared for change cuz oh boy past me you have a road ahead of you

I don't rlly keep new year's resolutions cuz I forget most of the time lmao

I DID!!! Most of my ocs became more fleshed out characters and I made a lot of dnd ocs this year

For the pictures questions you get art/silly

One on the left is from exactly a year ago and the one on the right is from two weeks ago!! (not the best example but these are the same characters)

#beware I will now be appearing in your inbox with questions/lh #idk why this took so long for me to answer (I rambled)#ask #ask game #NOO the numbers got slightly messed up

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koorinokujira · 1 year ago

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Yakuza 0 is a SPECTACULAR game and I'll shove my love for it in everyone's faces now

Alright, I'll take a bit of a break from regularly scheduled Basara-posting (don't worry, the next batch of imagines is getting worked on), because boy, am I full of emotions right now. This will most likely turn into a mini-series of posts, I don't know yet.

TLDR: Background of me getting into it all and me gushing about my appreciation for the game since I finally finished it. Some (at least vague) spoilers will definitely be involved, so if you haven't played the game yet, here's your warning! Also, I ramble a lot, sorry.

So, I am still fairly new to the Yakuza fandom, all things considered. While I first discovered the Yakuza/Like a Dragon series a few years ago (through a Majima meme, lol), I wasn't that into it at the start. I had other hyperfixations at the time, and it was just sort of at the background. I watched some gameplays, saw some memes, and after watching a full playthrough of Yakuza Kiwami (and a bit of Y0), I eventually decided to get Y0 and play it myself. Bought it and played for a few chapters, but then it got buried again beneath other games, even if I liked it a lot. But this year, it all just came back to me, and I decided to throw myself into it fully this time, restarting my Y0 playthrough (and engaging with the fandom a bit more).

And I'm incredibly glad I did.

At the time of writing this, I finished the game like 30 minutes ago, give or take, and I feel like I'm feeling everything right now. There aren't many games that hit me so hard. Every single second of this game just kept my eyes glued to the screen, and even when I was not playing, the feelings from the story lingered.

You know, I've been sort of living through other people's experiences with the series lately, especially here on Tumblr. Even if I don't know half of the characters everyone talks about yet, I still appreciate the funky stuff everyone here creates. I love the ridiculous memes, the sweet Minedai and Kazumaji fanarts, the kick-ass cosplays, and all the other stuff! You guys made me love it even more and keep going, so I could enjoy it even more! But I have to say, experiencing at least Yakuza 0 for myself hits so much harder than just watching a gameplay.

I got to play as a buff, scary looking man that races toy cars with kids as if his life depends on it, and constantly gets tangled up in ridiculous situations and helps people around town, all the while he's putting his life on the line to protect those he loves the most. I got to hire a chicken as a real estate manager, enjoy some karaoke with my best pal Nishiki, and save some poor ladies from terrible guys who harassed them on the street. And there was also so, so many heart-wrenching things that made me stop what I was doing, because I just hated to see Kiryu's kind, gentle heart get torn apart by the world he willingly stepped into.

I also got to play as a man that went through hell and clinged onto life through sheer determination. A man that was lost, but slowly found what was important to him through the course of the story. But even with him, I got to experience a ton of hilarious weirdness, which may or may not include things like pretending to be a desperate girl's boyfriend, beating up a cult leader or accidentally raising the taxes for all of Japan. Majima, I love you too, you crazy bastard!

All the characters are written so well, and felt very real to me the whole time. Nothing was really black and white, and even the simpler looking characters ended up being very complex most of the time. Honestly, I could ramble on and on about how it broke me to see Tachibana cry, or how much I adore Kashiwagi, even with the limited screentime. I will probably make a few more in-depth posts about certain characters and how I view their themes in the future.

But all this is to say, I'm glad that I finally took the plunge, and I am looking forward to what I have yet to experience! I even have a few OCs that I may share in the future (if I finally learn how to draw properly, that is), and maybe some fanfics, too!

After I finally 100% Ghost of Tsushima, I am definitely buying Kiwami, too! Glad to finally count myself a "proper" member of the RGG fandom ＼(￣▽￣)／

Thank you for reading my excited ramblings, and as I always say...

Have an amazing day!

#okay as I wrote this post the adrenaline disappeared help #i am so happy but also so tired #i wish i could hug kiryu rn #and fall asleep #i think i officially have a new comfort character lol #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza #yakuza 0 #like a dragon #yakuza like a dragon #kiryu kazuma #majima goro

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inukag-archive · 2 years ago

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Hi, I was wondering if you could recommend some smutty fics that are also fluffy, I don't mind of they're completed or what year.

Also thank you for all of the work you put in, I've read so many great fics because of recommendations!

Hello Nonnie!

Thank you so much for following The Archive! We're so so so happy to help you find new favorites <3

Now to your ask: the main criteria we focused on when finding fics for this list was an overall lighthearted vibe with little to no angst. Some are funny, some a little kinky, and some are deeply romantic, but as long as the story included both smut and fluff, it made the list.

We hope you find something you love!

Everything by @lostinfantasyworlds (E)

Inuyasha and Kagome experience the exhilaration, intimacy, and imperfections of their first time making love.

Gone Swimmin' by Quickening (X)

A peaceful woodland on the hottest day of the year.

A shallow river flowing through the woods.

A naked hanyou sleeping peacefully on the bank.

An equally naked Kagome discovering him there.

'Nuf said.

Reunion by @mamabearcat (M)

Kagome was back, and Inuyasha was reunited with lots of things he'd missed. But one of them, not in quite the way he was expecting!

A Miko's Fantasy by Emmyyasha & @lavaffair (E)

A miko, a hanyou, and a forbidden love affair. These were all part of a fantasy that Kagome could not help but drift back to again and again. Tonight, her deepest desires will finally become reality with a little help from her own hanyou boyfriend, who is all too willing to play the part she has given him.

Dawn by Belizar (M)

Post-manga. Inuyasha wakes in the early morning to find Kagome gone, and sets out to find her.

Granted Wish by @knittingknots (M)

Post Manga. Takes place the evening of Kagome's return to the past. Kagome and InuYasha finally have some private time after her return. What does she want? And what wish can InuYasha grant her?

Something Real by Angelica Pierce (M)

While staying over night in a village, Kagome is confronted with the full truth about Inuyasha’s hardship regarding his social status and heritage. Will she be able to find a way to help him see through the pain?

Scent and Sensibility by Wenjohn (M)

He didn't hide his feelings to be cruel, he just didn't know anything about showing his emotions. Opening his heart was a weakness Inuyasha couldn't afford to have, not even for her. Until one night when a new scent was in the wind and he forgot to remember every reason he had for keeping her away.

Learning Curve by StoatsandWeasels (E)

Nighttime activities and internal musings of the newlywed couple.

Basically just fluffy PWP.

Lazy Morning by @akitokihojo (E)

Words don't always need to be spoken; body language plays a huge roll in communicating between a couple. Whatever it is that needs to be divulged can also be shown just as easily.

Together Again by @thornedraven (E)

"-I know I complained a lot about your fussing, but... when you weren't here to fuss... I realized... I liked it" -

Some intimacy between InuYasha and Kagome after being reunited after three years, rediscovering each other in some of the more intimate ways one can.

The Exponent of Breath by Avert_Ye_Eyes (E)

But she finally understood as she gazed down that dark ancient portal; as it sighed up at her with its infinite darkness; that time travel was not her personal conveyor, and maybe if she actually made a choice it would give her:

One.

Final.

Chance.

*The day the well reopened.*

Given by @dawnrider (E)

Losing himself to his youkai in Kaguya's castle puts Inuyasha in a position he never wanted to be in: Hurting the one person he swore he never would. Kagome doesn't see it quite the same way.

Key To My Heart by @superpixie42 (E)

When Inuyasha's childhood home goes on the market he will do anything he can to buy it. Including, but not limited to, getting his best friend Kagome to pose as his wife in an attempt to emotionally sway the seller. But will the seller be the only one whose heartstrings get pulled by the charade?

Chocolate Croissants by @willowandfog (E)

Kagome is searching for the perfect coffee shop to call her own in her new town when she runs head first (literally) into an arrogant silver-haired 'god'. A battle over a chocolate croissant leads to a playful feud, and when an incident shifts their relationship, they both realize they desire more than coffee and chocolate.

Nuts About You by @shikonstar (E)

Inuyasha has always hated drawing attention to his doglike attributes. But if the girl of his dreams is in danger?

He’ll get on all fours and bark if he has to.

Sweet on You by 00KuroiOokami (E)

Modern AU InuKag. Angry cop meets sweet little baker. Should he destroy her business's reputation, or can they make amends? Will she ever be able to melt his heart? Plenty of fluff and sweet moments. You better have cavities by the time this one is over!

Challenge Accepted by @mustardyellowsunshine (E)

Grumpy and bent on retaliation, Kagome forwards Inuyasha a spam email offering to enlarge a certain part of his anatomy. He takes this as a personal challenge and decides to prove her very, very wrong.

Slipped by @witchygirl99 (E)

“I was worried it’d be more of a sex thing.”

A sex thing. Inuyasha makes a face at the ceiling. God, why does Miroku say shit like that? “Yeah, well,” he grouses, grabbing at his cell phone so that he can look his friend in the eye. “Give me some fucking credit. I’m trying not to fall in love with her.”

Miroku looks, in that moment, far too smug. “And how’s that going for you?”

“Fuck you,” comes his automatic response, a knee-jerk reaction. Begrudgingly, unhappily, Inuyasha sighs his next admission. “Not great.”

Inuyasha has a life plan that is viciously, cheerfully and quickly dismantled the moment he becomes temporary roommates with one Kagome Higurashi. Unsurprisingly, this is all Miroku's fault.

Ending the Year with a Bang by @heynikkiyousofine (E)

Inuyasha receives a massage as a gift.

Feel free to add your own recs in the comments or reblogs!

Check our Masterlist of previous lists to see which topics we've covered.

Send us an ask (here).

#inukag archive #inukag fanfic #smut #fluff

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scarlthesnarl · 2 years ago

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if you feel you have reached this message in error

~~~~~~~

This is just a short little nothing WIP for the immediate aftermath of episode 20 of G-Witch. I had some feels I had to get out, spoilers below. Based on how "late" it was by the time Earth House found Suletta digging through the rubble, I'm willing to bet that she wasn't answering her comms/couldn't and so there were likely a lot of folks thinking she may be one of those trapped or killed.

Thanks to @red-the-royal for entertaining my brain worms on this one!

Anyway, Miorine's POV for discovering the school's been attacked again but WORSE.

~~~~~~~~

Of all the sights of carnage and horror that have seared themselves into her mind over the past 12 hours, the endlessly scrolling list of the dead from the second attack on Asticassia was the thing that threatened to send Miorine into a full blown breakdown.

Some of the names she recognized from her own classes; most she did not.

The news feed that was playing on the left of the screen was showing images of collapsed buildings and mobile suits accompanied by rescue personnel sifting through the rubble for survivors and the dead in the heart of campus.

Her hands shook as her fingers clumsily tapped through her contacts, trying desperately to reach out to Suletta. Miorine hadn't seen her name on the constantly updating list, but that meant nothing with so many still unaccounted for.

She found Suletta's entry where she'd hidden it at the bottom of her contacts and hit Call.

Distantly, she was surprised it didn't fail to dial as it should have if she was a blocked contact. Even so, the call rang several times before it cut.

Connection failure.

She tried a few more times. Nothing. Perhaps someone from Earth House could be reached.

So she called Lilique.

Then Martin.

Till.

Ojelo.

Suletta.

Nuno.

Suletta.

Aliya.

Suletta.

Chuchu.

Suletta, Suletta, Suletta.

Sixteen instances of call connection failure ping red on her screen. Desperate, she sends a message through the Gund-Arm Inc company employee emailing list for the first time since Suletta's last duel, praying one of them would respond, confirm everyone is okay even if they didn't all receive it.

All possible direct options exhausted, she finally turns to contacting Guel.

M: What in the world is happening up there Guel? Who attacked the school? I cannot get in touch with anyone in Earth House. Are they okay?

Is Suletta? Please tell me she's okay.

Miorine's typing stopped dead the moment she spotted a clip of Earth House came on the screen, showing nothing but a blown out ruin. She felt her heart rate pick up, panic setting in. Was EVERYONE dead?

G: I don't know where to start. "It's bad" doesn't begin to cover it. We've got Shaddiq, but the other one of those witches from the Rumble had been holed up somewhere and she just started shooting everything and everyone.

G: Panlunch is helping with clearing rubble according to Felsi. Earth House was okay last she saw the rest of them and were evacuated safely.

Guel Jeturk is typing…

None of them have seen Suletta since before she went to class today. They're looking for her too.

G: I've tried contacting her a few times myself and got nothing, but you'll be the first to know once I find her, I promise. I have to go, some members of my house are in rough shape, and I need to get back with Lauda to bring them home.

Miorine choked back the urge to vomit as everything sank in at once. It was hard to not know her ex-groom's class schedule by heart. Or shove down the knowledge that the lion's share of the devastation cut huge swaths through the academic buildings. No, no, no. Suletta would have been in the center of it all and was likely buried beneath tons upon tons of debris.

Every last gamble she had taken had failed to keep the girl she loved safe, and now she wasn't even certain that Suletta was still alive. Miorine dropped her head into her hands and despaired.

#the witch from mercury #mobile suit gundam the witch from mercury #miorine rembran #suletta mercury #so scared for ep 21 #sulemio

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worryingthing · 1 year ago

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I got a 9 to 5 (well, 8 to 6 with commute) and I've been struggling with the overall change. It's hard to stay positive in this current climate, and I feel like I am going insane every time I glance at social media or the news. But I guess having a gig means I'm busy, or at least occupied, which is helpful as much as I resent it. Life in Queens is great but everything does still feel a little foreign and far off. The weather being so dramatic has not helped either, I am very unhappy about having to pull out my tights and sift through which pairs have holes or can still be worn (70% had holes and Uniqlo stopped making their heat tech tights in Navy - guess I'll die, etc).

Anyway, I can feel my spirit being worn down by office lighting, small talk, k cups, how absolutely shitty the R train is, and people having speakerphone conversations on the bus and train at 8 a.m. All of it. So I wanted to return to a practice of gratitude to remind me to maybe stave off a little despair. I was really enjoying my tarot pulls when my life had a lot more uncertainty (does he like me? turns out, yes!! Will I ever get a job? Yeah, but now it's my whole life and I am always tired) Anyway in an act of anger at me for being gone from my home for most of the day now, Leelou (one of my cats) threw up on my tarot deck! A card or two is worse for the wear and I haven't decided if I am going to replace it or try to keep working with it just yet.

anyway!

I found a good smash burger in the neighborhood!! Petey's. It's perfect. The relief I feel at having discovered this is immense.

also food (I'm a Taurus?!) but I went to King of Falafel after hopping off the 30th ave stop. Sam had pointed it out to me when we walked to the train and it had a 15-minute wait so we walked a little further and he pointed out some things I hadn't seen since I live off a different stop. The falafel was probably the best I've ever had and it was beautiful to stand in a Palestinian restaurant so proud of its heritage. There was a wait for pita so I waited and was rewarded with a bonus piece, which was so warm and fluffy and heavenly to tear into on my walk back home. I will definitely be going back.

Access Oasis Garden, which my friend Kate founded. Right now we're focused on showing the Parks department and community that we're committed as a group so on Saturday I got to be a part of some bulb planting. To put something in the ground as a gift for future enjoyment is so rewarding, and signifies a deep hope, I feel. I am so astounded by how quickly things have moved and I can't wait to see it grow further. I also got to make some new friends, who ended up coming to the soup event at the beer hall after the planting was done. It was a really beautiful day of community!

Good hugs from friends! getting to share in the joy of a friend's good news.

Sam, who is so understanding and gentle and thoughtful. I'm still like, wait what, is this real? It turns out I am all about clear communication and intent! It's great!

Becoming emboldened re: work snacks, speaking of it is almost time for me to sneak some hummus at my desk. Sometimes on my lunch, I browse the dollar store candy section just to amuse myself, which is how I ended up with a desk drawer full of tootsie rolls.

Radio.Garden. I do sometimes browse the map endlessly, and I love to visit the station websites! I have found a few stations that originated as in-hospital or nursing home stations but graduated to internet broadcasts. Many stations I stumble upon are community-founded, which I love to see because I find the idea of radio of course extremely romantic, but also hopeful. It is also a perfect tool if you're not sure what you want to listen to - which happens to me a lot as someone who experiences intense decision paralysis. There's a station on the west coast of France that plays classical before lunch and jazz after. I began my work morning with AshiyaRadio, a Japanese jazz station.

for some reason, my rosacea goes nuts at work (I turn pink when dehydrated) but I bought this mini Tower 28 rescue spray and it seems to help a little, plus I like how refreshing it feels. Let me just anoint my visage real quick in this office hell space, etc

Tears of the Kingdom - which is soooo immense it's overwhelming but I have been enjoying dropping in and trying to further along my journey with various side quests. It's a perfect game to just meander around in, every last detail is stunning. I should remind myself I can take my switch on my work commute!!

Seemingly breezing through a lot of big changes with minimal anxiety?? I have been complaining a lot about how exhausted I've been but it's my fourth week and I had to learn/memorize A LOT the first two, so now it's slightly more routine and less overwhelming. I had one crying meltdown during the height of my period and missed a group of friends out, but I am pretty sure I needed that cry and it was unavoidable.

I know what's for dinner (the relief!): the half package of pumpkin ravioli I splurged on from the store and half a head of broccoli. I finish both in sage brown butter, toasted breadcrumbs, parmesan, and lemon. Still have to figure out a work lunch, though ):

Sometimes it's really hard to tell if these sorts of things are even worth posting or just too navel-gazy, but I stuck with it and I'm posting and my outlook on life does feel improved, surprisingly. I'm also not in talk therapy because how can that even happen with my new schedule? So writing it out it is.

#tyn #November #tumblr on desktop at work!

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lumine-no-hikari · 8 months ago

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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #156

I finally decided to play some Elden Ring today. Made myself a nice little character and everything. Though admittedly, that part took a while, because the little sliders that let you adjust certain aspects of your character's face also adjust unrelated aspects of your character's face whenever you move them. It's a very strange thing to be adjusting the slider for the eyes, only to discover that random parts of the chin are changing, too. Very bizarre. Very disconcerting.

Well, it's whatever. In the end, I basically put all the sliders in the middle, and the results weren't hideous, so I left it at that. It's good enough!!! My character is very cute!!! I decided it!!!

I had almost forgotten that at the beginning, you have to try to face a relatively higher-level enemy right off the bat:

This enemy is called a "Grafted Scion", and boy howdy, it does an AMAZING impression of a food processor; it's very impressive - it must have practiced a lot! The only problem is that it's trying to do this in my general direction, and sometimes it even yells at me, too, which is SUPER rude! And I can't exactly talk to it or try to reason with it, and "smoothie" isn't on my list of future career aspirations, so my only choice, sadly, is to hit it until it stops thinking that I'd be a healthy snack if only I'm blended with a little kale or whatever.

But there's a problem with that, see. It only takes one hit, maybe two hits if I'm lucky, for my character to go down. And this thing will probably need to be hit dozens of times, at least, before it stops actively trying to be bad for my health. And… I haven't played this game in a while. My skills are very rusty, and I'm finding that I have to readjust myself to the lag between when I push a button and when the character does the thing the button tells it to do. It's a notable amount of lag, and so sometimes I end up thinking I pushed the wrong button, so I try a different one, and it seems to queue inputs at least a little, so… yeah. I'm kind of a mess right now, hahaha!

To be sure, technically you're not supposed to win this fight - it's kind of like the Unspeakable Deep in Salt and Sanctuary that way. When you fall to this enemy, you get whisked away to this underground tomb-like place and then you wake up. But this Grafted Scion is standing between me and the door beyond, and I wanna see what's in that door without getting whisked away to some weird hole in the ground, and for some reason, I can't just walk up to it and politely ask it to let me through the door, so… I've needed to start new games every time I get pureed, because for this enemy, the game won't just let you try again from where you fell, which is kinda lame.

But that's all right. I'm a patient little nugget when I have my mind set on something. I've decided that this Grafted Scion doesn't get to push me around and get all up on my case just because I'm lost and wandering around, so I'll just keep trying again until I gain the skills to put a stop to its entirely unreasonable shenanigans. Why? Because I've got boundary skills, muthafuckaz (at least in certain limited contexts; I'm working on it)!!!

I can try as many times as I like. All I have to do is practice, and I only need to succeed once. Truly, it is the Grafted Scion who is the one in trouble here, because this entity will not grow and change, and as long as that holds true, this entity will have to face me - an opponent that slowly, but surely, gets stronger every time I fall. Eventually, this entity will fall to me, though not permanently; death is not really a thing in this world, so if I knock this entity's ass out, it's mostly just an inconvenient and very temporary setback, because the entity will reconstitute itself and come back, same as the zombies in Salt and Sanctuary. It's kind of like putting them in "time-out", in a sense - "If you cannot keep your hands to yourself while I am in this space, then in order to keep myself safe, I will have to place you temporarily in a spot where you cannot hurt me, until I am all done here, or until you become willing to control yourself - your choice." Or something to that effect.

…And at that, it's only like this because I, as the player, am not given the power to try to speak to this entity or reason with it. To be sure, I'd much rather sit and listen to this entity talk about their life experiences over tea. They're VERY good with sharp objects, so, ya know, I gotta wonder how they became so skilled. What is it like to see through their eyes? And maybe if they weren't so busy being invariably hostile towards random passers-by, they could maybe learn to cook instead? I mean, heck, you can't imagine what I would give to have that kind of precision with my hands; I could cut SO MANY paper-thin slices of onions and tomatoes and cucumbers and put them on SO MANY epic sandwiches…!!!

And yes, I'm more than aware that this entity does not look like a more typical living thing. I understand that this entity went through a lot of painful, horrible stuff to become this way, and it's not my intention to invalidate that struggle. But… ya know? I played Undertale. I've seen the results of Alphys's and Asgore's terrible experiments. And I know that just because something looks different doesn't mean there's no possibility for reintegration back into the community, as long as there's adequate support. I don't understand why people look down on things based on their appearance. I don't understand why this entity should be treated as though it's lesser just because it doesn't look the same as us, or just because it went through an ordeal, or just because it's maybe not quite human anymore.

…Thinking about this, I am reminded of another adversary in the game. These ones are called Chanting Winged Dames, and they look like this:

And, oh, Sephiroth, they can fly!! And they can sing!! And their voices are so, so, so pretty - look:

youtube

…Really, I'd love nothing more than to cut away the barbed wire around their legs; it looks so painful. I'd love to sit and listen to their songs. I can see the shiny trinkets they wear, and I want to bring them whatever shiny trinkets I'm not using, if it strikes their fancy. I really don't want to hurt them. But this game leaves me with no option to speak, and if they see that I am nearby, listening to their song, they immediately try to tear my head off, and they won't stop trying to tear my head off until they aren't moving anymore, and… I guess I find it really sad.

Truth be told, this whole game is really sad. There are 6 different endings, and some of those endings are certainly better than others, but none of them seem to leave the peoples that inhabit this world wholly safe, happy, and free. One ending would destroy everything. One ending would see everything locked in eternal suffering. One ending would restore the status quo, but the status quo is deeply flawed. One would restore the status quo, minus some discrimination. Then the "best" two endings… one ushers in an age of prosperity, at the expense of free will. And one ushers in an age of free will, at the expense of things such as comfort and joy. As of yet, there is no ending that offers comfort, prosperity, joy, and free will to all.

Suppose that's why I never finished the game back when I used to play it more regularly; I don't feel qualified to make that choice on behalf of everyone. So mostly I just wander around, trying to ease suffering for the various NPCs as I can. Suppose I'm a little unusual in that my "super secret big bad power fantasy" is… to be able to help everyone. To be able to ensure that everyone can live without suffering. And I suppose when I can't do that, I get discouraged really easily.

…Suppose it's why I never finished Breath of the Wild or Tears of the Kingdom, either. The person doing all the bad things was born to a people who have exceedingly slim odds of bearing male children. These people look down on men as inferior and untrustworthy. And… this person was born as a male into this culture. He was made ruler, but that does not erase the psychological damage that comes with watching how disdainfully the people he loves treat others with his same genitalia.

The mechanics of being put in a "golden child" position are similarly damaging because it forces a child (who neither has the power to change anything nor the skills to cope) to bear the cognitive dissonance of watching someone who is the same as them get denigrated while they themselves practically get worshipped. This usually produces a sense of guilt about the fact they're being treated well while someone else is not, as well as shame about who they are as a person (because they watch someone who is mostly the same as them get treated like dogshit), but they won't know how to articulate it or talk about it, and even if they could, they'd likely lose the approval of the capricious people upon whom they depend to continue to live as a result. And, as you might expect, the result of losing their approval is, usually, getting abused.

So from here, the only choice is to do whatever they can to shove away their feelings of guilt and shame, while also doing whatever they can to justify the abuse of the person who is similar to them. And for a young child whose sole source guidance is someone who is cruel, the best available method of coping, because it kills two birds with one stone and brains prioritize efficiency, is usually clinging desperately to "I'm superior" as a notion, no matter how false they know such an assertion is deep down. The subconscious knowing that it is false produces terror and hostility whenever the notion is challenged, simply because if the notion is false, then why shouldn't they be treated just as poorly as the other person? And being treated just as poorly as what they've witnessed is, naturally, terrifying.

So essentially, in Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, a person with a subconscious sense of shame and inferiority (which he tried to cover with arrogance and hostility, as is typical…) was put into a position of power, and in a desperate bid to fill that void and prove his worthiness, he waged war on everyone and everything. I don't want to destroy someone who really just needs lots of super intensive therapy while being confined in a space where he will be safe, cared for, and unable to hurt anybody. So I play up until just before the end and do all the quests I can, and then… that's basically it. Like I keep saying, the compassion I have for others doesn't stop at you. I don't know what to do in most cases because I am not very smart, but the right answer certainly isn't destruction, because if it was, then every world would already be peaceful by now.

The world I live in is complicated and messy. It's a lot of traumatized or otherwise unwell people running around, not really knowing what they're doing, trying to fill the sense of emptiness tugging at their hearts with whatever works in the moment, while also trying hard not to traumatize other people, and… results are always mixed at best. Everyone is running around with struggles that other people know nothing about. And that's why I think there's no such thing as "monsters" or "evil people". There are certainly "evil" and "monstrous" words and deeds, but these are the result of dealing with genetics that limit their skills, or living a life that has left them bereft of the skills they need to succeed, NOT the result of inherent badness of character.

I believe that everyone can be helped, even if my world has not yet built the infrastructure that would make it possible at this time. Because, for sure, the kind of help that some folks need is along the lines of "being reparented basically from scratch in a safe, loving, and supportive environment", and… for whatever reason, there are currently no facilities that offer this, and I don't have the money or manpower it would require to build one and staff it with kind and caring experts in the required fields. It's frustrating as hell.

…Fwhoof. Suppose I've prattled on long enough. Guess you can tell I'm a little better rested, because I surely had a huge case of galaxy brain going on here, haha… As always, thanks for listening…

I'll write again tomorrow, okay? So stay safe out there. I love you.

Your friend, Lumine

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edge-oftheworld · 9 months ago

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life update i guess. i feel like i got through the boy ep mania early with the close my eyes release (at least i'm hoping with the rest of it i can just. grieve and have hope all at once. i know the vibe of what's coming and i really need that in my life).

anyway, gonna try share more of the personal 'so this is what it meant to me' rather than 'this is what it means imo' sometimes, take the spotlight away from our beloved band members and their personal lives and into the listener experience--because i always have a hunch we have more in common than not as a fandom. i listen to a lot of music but i'm here blogging on tumblr about these guys because nothing unravels what's in my head like a 5sos song. which is why i love playing around with them and looking at different angles musically and lyrically!

right now, my bird is unwell and i'm literally so anxious all the time because of his health. and i know i need to slow down and also grieve lost futures etc (is it true if you're feeling anxiety it's a sign you need to grieve? or is that a myth idk) in order to best be there for him, and try show up well at my job etc too if only just so i can afford the vet bills. realising how much it's impacting me and life's not always like this and it won't be forever, but it's actually the most perfect time to be getting a new luke album (and ttpd, but we don't talk about her bc Boycott Things. i'm also rediscovering mistaken identity by delta goodrem which i do every 10yrs or so).

i'm also processing the whole religious trauma/ministry burnout thing. i know it's not a common thing to experience in my early 20s but i was a volunteer youth pastor for 3 years, in which i cared for a lot of people, saw a lot of pain, and wasn't really able to do everything and create the healing, freeing kind of connections I wanted, slowly realising not everyone goes to faith communities for these things and some are perfectly happy with the status quo. 5sos5 was the album that got me through the process of leaving that behind, and lately i've been thinking about making a little art moodboard comic thing with a slide for every song and what it means to me, bible verses related to that experience etc, and i hope i manage to prioritise doing that i think it'd be really good for me and when it's done i'll share it with you guys. make it pretty and visual and a story i can tell creatively to take back a little autonomy.

and then i'm also trying to walk my (asian, i'm half asian, and rn it's that side of the family that needs it most) through the process of discovering and accommodating neurodivergence. i'm lucky to be the one who has the resources to figure it out and so early in my life too, but it's hard to communicate between cultures and i'm so, so tired. there's so many feelings to navigate, everyone else's as well as my own. wfttwtaf has been really good for just helping process my feelings around that, but also actions, prompting me to imagine things from the kind of perspectives i need to, i don't know why it does this, but it does. the southeast asian inspo is minimal, but it's there enough for me to apply it to my life. and we're all trying to fight redefine the bloodline rn too.

i'm finding a lot of hope and optimism in finding myself as a musician through my orchestral arrangement of calm. inspired to keep chipping away at studying urban design through the city and place mentions of all their albums (as well as just the premise of somewhere new ep. i'm not really sure why). to figure out what it looks like to choose myself with superbloom. soothe my inner teen with sgfg, but process what was going on in leaving high school all those years ago (shut my eyes at 17, okay? i'm only just about to turn 23) with youngblood and trying to reclaim what's left of my youth inspired by the songs off self titled.

so i guess that's how it all relates to me. why i'm on here. and i know any projects i try to do are going to be slow rn bc i just have so much on, i'm trying to recover from burnout (board up my windows, tryna revive) and i'm so physically and mentally drained rn but this won't be forever. there's gonna be a nice, new equilibrium to come out of this and i hope soon. so thank you for being around while i gush about all these songs during this time!

oh!! and then processing my move interstate in literal december 2011 away from my childhood home in sydney with 2011 and efyts :)

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos5 #calm #youngblood #silver arranges 5sos #silver arranges calm #sgfg #wfttwtaf #boy ep #luke hemmings #superbloom #ashton irwin #michael clifford #calum hood #2011 #official efyts post #personal mental health tag

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emmalostinwonderland · 2 years ago

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WIP update

Hey, friends. I know literally no one is asking for this, but I started going through my google drive folders recently to see if I really do have as many WIP fics stacking up as I think I do... and apparently I have MORE than I thought.

I'm gonna go through all of them here mostly for my own peace of mind. However, if you read this and think one of the concepts sounds great and you want to shoot me some encouragement, my DMs and asks are open. Vague threats are also accepted, just to mix things up.

Anyway, synopses below the cut. Fandoms are tagged.

MCU

Steve/Bucky/Tony - Medieval Knights AU - est <20k words

Tony is the ruler of a small kingdom, and Steve is the lead knight. He and Bucky are together, and they open their hearts to Tony as time goes on. This is actually my fill for Fandom Trumps Hate 2023, so it's my top priority right now. I've got a full synopsis, most of the chapter outline, and literally none of the draft itself done.

Steve/Tony (with some Steve/Bucky in the beginning) - Conversion Camp AU - est >50k words

Steve meets Tony at a Pray-The-Gay-Away camp in 1995, they lose contact when Steve ages out of the program, canon events (super soldier serum and Iron Man) come into play, and they are reunited due to mutual connections with SHIELD or the US Military. So far with this, I have a very detailed synopsis, a full timeline for both Steve and Tony, a spotify playlist, character analyses, thorough research, and only like 800 words of a draft. This one WILL be finished, even if it takes me literal years.

Steve/Tony - Ireland AU - est <10k words

Tony meets Steve on the ferry from Liverpool to Belfast, and they have a whirlwind summer romance in Ireland. It's literally just a romcom. I wanted an excuse to fuck with their accents, so in this idea, Steve moved back to Ireland with his mom when he was super young, and Tony went to live with the Jarvis' (his godparents) in London after his parents died in his mid to late teens. I've got about 800 words in the draft, some loose research, and half a chapter outline. Maybe it'll get written, maybe not. Who's to say.

Steve/Tony - High School AU - est ~1k words

Steve and Tony are established high school sweethearts. They have Tony's parents house to themselves for the weekend. I wrote about 700ish words of this in January as a challenge to myself to write a whole oneshot in one night, but I chickened out when I got to the smut part, so it just sits in my google drive haunting me.

Steve/Tony - High Fantasy Soulmates AU - est ?? words

Steve is on a quest with a small party of his closest friends to take out the evil king in a neighboring kingdom. He meets his soulmate, Tony, in dreams every night. We all know what the plot twist is on this, so I'm not gonna bother spelling it out. I have about 4 sentences worth of an outline, but that's it.

Steve/Bucky - Friends with Benefits AU - est >20k words

Steve's wife, Peggy, finds that their relationship is getting stale and suggests inviting a third person to join them in bed from time to time. When Peggy ultimately leaves Steve anyway, he and Bucky discover something new just between the two of them. This is my latest collab with LouiKazooie! We have 2 others up on Ao3, and this one will likely be done before the end of the year.

Steve/Bucky - 1940's Canon Divergence - est ?? words

Dr Erskine sees Steve and Bucky's farewell moment before Steve attempts to enlist again, but he selects Bucky for the program instead in order to give him a higher likelihood of making it back home to Steve in one piece. I've got a synopsis, and I've got a one-liner for Howard written. That's it. Keep your expectations low.

Red, White, and Royal Blue

FirstPrince - Missionary AU - est <20k words

Alex moves to London for a study abroad program for international law, and Henry attempts to evangelize to him in a coffeeshop. Alex takes pity on him, and strikes up a tentative friendship with him. As they grow closer, Henry starts to realize that maybe he doesn't believe or connect with his religion the way he used to. I've got a detailed synopsis, and some of the scenes are clear as day in my head, but if I'm honest, there's no substantial outline or draft written down for this one yet.

FirstPrince - Din/Luke Oneshot Series - est ?? words

Alex and Henry roleplay as the Mandalorian and Luke Skywalker sometimes and the level of involvement gets more high stakes with every oneshot (like including cosplays or speaking Mando'a). This might be the dumbest idea I've ever had, but it's in my google drive so I had to include it here.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians

Percabeth - Revolutionary War AU - est ~10k words

Percy is a spy for the militia. Annabeth is a plantation owner's daughter. She joins the cause, providing secrets, maps, and the occasional distraction all while unlearning things she's believed her whole life. This was an idea I had on a flight somewhere, and I wrote a scene in the notes app of my phone until I could get to wifi again. Apparently I have 1500 words of the draft done? I've also got a character breakdown and a vague idea of the flow of the story. I'm excited about this one.

Idk I think 10 WIP fics is enough for now. This was painful to look at. Thanks for the support, guys.

#stucky #stony #stevebucky #stevetony #captain america #mcu #rwrb #red white and royal blue #firstprince #dinluke #pjo fandom #percy jackson #percabeth

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griefabyss69 · 1 year ago

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✨🪄 Fic Writing Review 2023 🪩✨

Tagged by one of the most encouraging and friendly people I've ever met, @steddieas-shegoes!

I wanted to wait until the year was truly over to do this, because who knows! I could've ended up writing right up until midnight this morning. I didn't, but I did post on Dec 30th and started a new WIP yesterday evening, so it was close tbh.

Words and Fics

I published 201631 words on ao3! I had really wanted to reach the goal of 20K and I did work hard in the last few days of December to reach it, something I think will help me feel more satisfied when work sucks all of my free time away again.

I wrote 200019 unpublished words! To be fair to myself, I went through and added up the wordcount of every WIP I have that's over 1000 words. That's most of them!

37 fics on ao3 - I think there's maybe 5 little drabbles on tumblr that I didn't put up there.

59 WIPs - Some of these are long and almost finished, some are more of a summary of ideas, and the most common wordcount I came across was 4-5K.

Top 5 Fics by Kudos

Still Motion - Rated E - 6.5K - [ Tumblr ] [ AO3 ] Steve poses nude for Eddie so he can do figure sketching from his bed, as Eddie starts to look like he's getting too warm. Of course, it's not the temperature that's getting to him.

Last Man Standing - Rated E - 15.6K - [ Tumblr ] [ AO3 ] (First fic in the LARP AU series, includes art!) Steve asks Eddie to teach him how to play D&D. Eddie has no idea what's in store for him as Steve throws him for a loop, making the game into something that changes Eddie on a molecular level, if his dick is to believed.

Between Light and Darkness - Rated E - 5.2K - [ AO3 ] Eddie's living in Steve's basement while they figure out the vampire thing, and Steve wants Eddie to have a safer source of blood than going out and hunting - he offers himself. Eddie doesn't want to hurt him, and doesn't think he can control himself. So they argue about this a lot. The arguments lead to a whole new discovery that they never learned from vampire legends.

Acceptance and Negation - Rated E - 18.7K - [ Tumblr ] [ AO3 ] (Also known as the forniphilia fic) Steve loses a bet against Eddie, who gets to order him around all night. It wasn't intended to be a sex thing until Steve discovered something new about himself.

Waves - Rated E - 4.6K - [ Tumblr ] [ AO3 ] (FKA spit luvrs supreme) Steve watches Eddie a lot, and becomes obsessed with his mouth. They're hanging out one day when he snaps and does something about it.

It's so fun and gratifying to me that a lot of these are from the paraphillia series, a project that I haven't had enough time to work on lately but is something I'm still super interested in!!! I took a leap with this one and the reception has been encouraging!

Upcoming Events and Projects for 2024

The continuation of my Paraphillia series! I'm hoping this is what I can work on next!

The LARP AU - I don't expect to finish it this year, there's a lot of story in my head and it's a really fun sandbox for me to keep playing around in! I have more art planned for it too if I ever get my attention span for drawing back <3

The Apocalypse AU - The very first and very second fics I finished and published in over a decade! There's still story left here, and I want to revisit it sometime this year.

Challenges! There are SO many fic challenges, and I participated in two in 2023 - @steddiemicrofic and @steddievember. I'm hoping to find the right challenge to add to that list in the new year! I'm also trying to have realistic expectations for what my free time will be like 💀. (Also, shout out to the mods of those two challenges! For Steddiemicrofic, that really gave me a jumping off point to help me meet more people in this fandom and was a very low key, low barrier entry into participating in something! And for Steddievember, thank you for the encouragement, incitement of, and inspiration for some more of my unhinged bullshit favorite type of writing.

And lastly, just a shitload of WIPs I'm so fucking fond of and hope to get to and complete this year <3

Truly thank you to anyone who's ever interacted with me on here! My year looked really fucking different from March (when I posted my first fic) to December. I feel really fucking lucky to have made some good friends here, and I think I grew a lot in some ways that I wouldn't have otherwise! It was scary as hell putting my writing out there at first, and now the main source of tension is that there aren't infinite hours in the day so I can keep up with how much I want to share with you all <3 I'm blowing you all kisses from the abysses 💖 Tagging anyone who hasn't done it yet who wants to!

Rules under the cut <3

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Eat glass or don't, you're in charge of your destiny.

#chats from the abyss #griefabyss69 writing

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here2bbtstrash · 2 years ago

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i've been trying to write but i've had the worst writer's block for literally 3 years now. if you experience it, how do you overcome it?

hi anon! i'm so sorry you're struggling with this, especially for so long 😔 i know how demoralizing it can feel to feel 'stuck', or unhappy with anything you manage to get out. i can't promise that i have all the answers, but here are some different strategies that often help me!

fill the well

i think i stole this term from 'the artist's way' but i can't actually remember if her definition is the same as mine, so. when eye say filling the well, what i mean is: i take a purposeful break from attempting to create content, and i consume. i eat eat eat whatever i can get my hands on. poetry, books, music, movies. i go to an art museum, or go see a live performance of something, if i can!

i find that getting myself out of my own head and fully invested in someone else's creations tends to get my wheels turning. and it's therapeutic, that feeling of discovering some piece of art that speaks to you and reminds you that you're a human. it helps reconnect me to the purpose of why i create, the way i strive to give someone else that same experience by writing stories that i hope people can see themselves reflected back in. seriously - consume stuff! NEW stuff! go out there and find a thing that you love that someone else created.

box yourself in

this is a strategy i had never really tried before until last year, when i was struggling with wicked "i hate everything i write" syndrome, and the love of my life @gimmethatagustd gave me this tip! it's so weird, but it worked for me, so maybe it'll work for you too! they said that as someone who had to write a lot for school, even when they were blocked as fuck, that sometimes they would assign themselves specific rules or prompts for a piece in order to switch things up~

maybe for you, this looks like churning out a few drabbles, and forcing yourself to make them EXACTLY 100 words long. maybe it's writing something only in dialogue (a thing i actually did once when super blocked lmao!). maybe it's trying a new genre, maybe it's trying to write ~in the style~ of someone else, maybe it's writing member POV if that's not something you normally do. maybe it's looking up specific writing prompts/challenges, or playing some weird game with yourself where you try to fit song lyrics into a piece, or make each new sentence start with the last letter of the sentence before it - i don't know! get crazy with it! don't ask me why, but sometimes giving yourself more rules to adhere to makes it easier to write - or just gives your brain something else to focus on, at least 🤪

show up anyway

i hate that sometimes, this is what works, but it's the truth. stephen king has said a lot of things (including many racial slurs lol 🥴) but one of the not-dumb things he's said is along the lines of: "don't wait for the muse. ...your job is to make sure the muse knows where you're going to be every day from nine 'til noon. or seven 'til three. if he does know, i assure you that sooner or later he'll start showing up."

sometimes, writing is showing up, putting down crap, hating it, and doing it anyway. (this might go along with #2 - maybe your drabbles suck! write them anyway!) turning on the tap and running it until all the junk in your pipes gets out and the water runs clear. it sucks! when i'm in a place where that's all i can do, it's the worst feeling in the world! but there have been times where i've found that my "writer's block" was just me wanting things to come easily, like they do in a moment of fresh inspiration. and sometimes, you don't have inspiration. sometimes, you don't even have motivation. you gotta be disciplined and just do it anyway, and just keep shaking your brain like a piggy bank until something good eventually comes out of it.

rest. but like, actually rest

"but m! you just told us to push through and do it anyway!" okay, yeah, well. sometimes that works, but also, brains suck, and sometimes it doesn't work. if none of the above strategies have worked, or i'm stressing myself out so much that i'm like, actively bursting into tears over writing, that's when i know i need to rest.

there's this idea that i actually use a LOT in life - and not even exclusively about writing. when i have a friend who is struggling to get something done, and i ask them "did you rest?" and they tell me they did, i like to fire back: "did you actually rest, or did you spend the entire time feeling guilty about how you weren't doing X thing?"

guilt, as it turns out, is not rest. thinking about how much you wish you were writing is not rest. worrying about how you'll never be able to write anything good ever again... is also not rest! when i know i'm burnt out, i give myself a timeframe - it can be anywhere from 48 hours to several weeks, depending on severity - and i make a promise to myself: for that time, it is ILLEGAL to think about writing, to feel bad about writing, to want to write, or to even so much as TOUCH a word processor. AGAINST THE LAW, YOU HEAR ME?

i force myself to do anything else. if i feel like being creative, i'll pursue non-writing avenues to do so. but if i don't? i'll do fuck all. i'll watch a season of a terrible reality show. i'll take naps on my couch. i'll eat ice cream or do a puzzle or read a book or learn a language or whatever else. but i don't touch my writing, i don't think about my writing and i do not feel bad about my writing, or lack thereof.

usually, by the time my sentence in anti-writing jail is up (the only kind of prison i believe in lmao ✌️) my energy levels feel restored, my outlook is more positive, and i'm chomping at the bit to get back to it, with a renewed sense of appreciation for my work and my ideas. sometimes you just need to take a break, a real break, and that's okay!

accept it

sort of a continuation of my last one - and i know this sounds kinda dire, but i'm saying this with only love: not every season can be a season of harvest. there are some seasons where the ground is frozen, and nothing can grow. we cannot always be making all of the time. some seasons of life are for other things instead. healing, changing, starting over. i went through a years-long period of really wanting to write, but never managing to get words out when i tried. and guess what? it came back to me, eventually. but for a long time, i had to just... not write. and go live my life. and the world kept turning.

banging your head against the wall when it's not coming out won't solve anything. if you've tried it all, and it's still not happening? it might not be your time right now. and you might be doing yourself more harm than good by trying to force what's not, in this moment, meant to be. so deep breaths. chin up. know that it is okay to move on to the next season, and trust that it will come back when the time is right. life is long. nothing is forever, good or bad. there is so much more out there for you. infinite possibilities. i really do believe that!

sorry for the rambling lmao 😓 but hopefully you find some/any of this helpful!!! i'm here for you if you ever wanna talk more about writing struggles, bc i am no stranger to them. i love you! fighting!! 💜

#anonymous #mbox 📮#all the love! i know it's tough!!!

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mikimeiko · 1 year ago

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Day 16 - Across Czechia

Feels weird and sad to be leaving Brno. I feel like I've been here forever.

The first part of my train ride goes through the hills north of Brno, and not through the valley directly to the west as I thought it would.

Feels criminal to change trains in Prague and not... stop. Such a beautiful city. But I have been there before and there are so many other cities to see ;_;

The route between Prague and Plzen is very beautiful, especially when it passes near the Český kras, an amazing protected area that I would love to visit in the future.

Finally I find the pretty station that I was looking for... and it's under renovations ;_; Too bad because it looks like it would have been very pretty. Also interesting is the fact that the station building is between two different rail viaducts (I suppose because of two different rail branches). Like in Ostrava! Interesting idea, putting the branching around the station.

Plzen old town is INSANE. Building after building of incredible beauty, colors like there's no tomorrow, friezes and bas-reliefs and paintings. It's like you can't catch a break, behind every corner lies another unexpected beauty, and it's amazing.

There's a giant square with the cathedral in the middle, and it looks like there might be some sort of festival! (Actually there are at least to different festivals + other things around the city... Ok!)

While crossing the river I see the station from a distance and... wow, ok, I didn't realize how insanely opulent the building actually was? Where am I? Why is Plzen so ostentatiously wealthy? (I tried to look up the city's history but it doesn't really explain this... or more likely I'm missing something)

I go check out the festival in the main square but I arrive just in time for the first act to finish, and the second one doesn't start for at least half an hour. Luckily at the beer stand they have the Birell pomelo and grapefruit that I liked so much in Ostrava! Except... It's not the same? I guess there was more than one flavour and I didn't specify. This one is redder and berry flavoured. It's not bad, but it's not my favourite.

Also, there a smaller gazebo for buskers to perform between acts (I guess?) and two guys very 2010s indie.

(I really love that the music starts in the late afternoon. Last year I happened to be in a couple of cities that were having festivals, but the events always started so late that I never got to hear anything - especially with the super early trains I was catching XD)

I finally (?) try the fries cheese with tartar sauce (innabun). It is... fried cheese? It mostly tastes of fried and sauce XD but it fits the mood.

The second act of the night is a cover band, and I was a little sad that I didn't have the chance to discover new musicians, but: it's a rock/pop-rock cover band made up of old men. I love them. Super good energy. Good selection of songs. Yay!

Also. Also! How long has it been since the last time I heard live music that I really liked? When was the last time I went to a concert? Feeling the drums beating inside your body. Your mouth grinning of its own volition when you recognise the song. Being inside a thing that is amorphous but real, part of the crowd and you're not alone even if you're there alone. I want to learn how to play the drums - well a drum at least, I keep forgetting! But it is impossible to forget when you feel it, there. Aaaand it was kinda the perfect situation because there were people but it wasn't crowded, I could slip outside the mass whenever I wanted, leave and come back and leave again. But it was so good! Thank you Plzen for this goodbye-to-czechia gift, and to think I wasn't even supposed to come here!

#plzen #pilsen #czech republic #czechia #travel #it's not technically interrail 2023 #mag travels from time to time #my photography #i just want a tag for the things i personally put out into the world

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plothooksinc · 2 years ago

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😈 ✍ 🎶 💖 🦅

I answered the first two in the previous ask, so let me tackle those last three ♥

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I do! I have a cyberpunk playlist for when I write Zaibatsu (rarely as that is currently) and a TMNT one which is in the process of being refined. I had one off Spotify for ages and I might recreate that, but I'm looking for new and inspiring music and want to add a lot of other fans' amazing choices to it.

The song I've been playing on loop lately is Final Boss by Nitro Fun, because I'm making an AMV to it and thus listening to it many, many times a day. (Same reason as Bitch Boss by Doja Cat was the last ear worm because swagless!Leo AMV.)

💖 What made you start writing?

In general or fanfiction? In general, I've been writing since I was eight and my little child brain was devouring every book in the library and I realised that words were, in fact, magic and I could put them down on the page and keep rearranging them until they were amazing. And that meant I could write stories like the books too! So yeah, I've been writing for a very long time. I first started writing a novel at 14 and then at 18, and neither of them have been scrapped per se but my desire to write them has gone down with the state of publishing these days and the fact that the overriding premise of both of them was something that's glutted in the market these days.

I first wrote stories for my favourite cartoons in my teens (Defenders of the Earth and the original TMNT) but didn't know that was called fanfiction and it certainly wasn't for anyone else, it was just for me. And I discovered fanfic was a thing online in my early 20s, but by that point I'd become disillusioned with my writing (it was still pretty immature) and so it didn't occur to me to try for anyone else. Up until I got my first massive hyperfixation in my 20s, which was the Rurouni Kenshin fandom, and I decided to try. My writing was still awkward in the first chapter but had been polished some due to online RP, and then I discovered something called instant validation and encouragement and the more confidence I gained, the better I got. So. I fell into writing wholesale and loved it, because I might not have had confidence in writing to begin with but I loved telling stories in any format I could. (I have a very long tabletop RP career, too)

The short answer is: words are magic and they never stopped being magic, and I like working magic. And telling stories. And picking on my favourite characters. You know how it goes.

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

Bit of Column A, bit of column B! All my early stuff + Tanabata Jasmine were written off the cuff, but my brain was really good at filing details and repeating motifs all on its own, so bonus. Snowblind has no outline but it's a reasonably simple story at heart and doesn't need one. My one shots are just moments in time. Zaibatsu Project was a huge cyberpunk AU and that required a lot of work, both working out who these samurai characters were in 2029 Japan and what on earth I was even going to write - the outline is half done and we're about halfway through the outline I have. At some point if I get to the end, I'll outline the rest, because at the beginning I was really just playing to see if I could write such an extreme AU. (I can.) Misconduct has no outline - it's taking a deviation in canon and writing naturally occurs along the same timeline with differences, so no outline required for me.

...Underdark had no outline. Underdark was meant to be 8 pages long and Underdark went and wrote itself, that fic was lightning in a bottle. No outline because I literally just zoned out and kept typing, though the point was always to shift the balance of strength from Leo to Mikey and thus Leo was always gonna get taken out. I knew that was happening. Legacy, Court of Miracles, and Desperation all have outlines because they were my entrance into writing for my very first and most beloved fandom, and I wanted to get it right.

And then we get to No Rest For The Weary, in which some part of my brain went "I want to write" and the rest of me went "no, I haven't written in years, it's not gonna work". Because I hadn't really written for 13 years at that point for Many Reasons. But I loved Rise so much that I made a deal with myself: if I could actually take some of the vague scenes playing in my head that I'd like to see and write out some kind of outline to make a cohesive story, I'd try.

...then it took me like. 20 minutes to write a 2000 word outline from beginning to end and I was like huh okay then. Writing it is. And then I tried. And it worked. So. Outlines are cool and useful and occasionally resurrect your writing career, but it also does not escape my notice that the best fic I ever wrote was one that had no outline at all. But all in all, outlines are just guidelines - they're me sitting down and going 'here's some dot point shorthand on a story skeleton' and then going 'huh' and using what works of it as I go and improvising the rest.

All of this to say: I GUESS IT DEPENDS. lmao. I'm sorry, I waffled, hope your eyes didn't glaze ♥

Fanfic asks here!

#fanfic ask game #anonytext

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