#i've never saved something so fast in my whole damn life

[bigcitymac]

I SAW A GOOD WILL HUNTING AND MACDENNIS EDIT ON TIKTOK???????? U GUYS R FUCKING INSANE

[khristie16]

The Fast and Forbidden

Charles is a famous F1 driver with everything one could want: fame, fortune, and fans. But he is missing one thing. Being his new personal assistant changes everything for both of them.

— chaper 1 It is your first day settling in Formula 1 world. You find out there is something off with Charles, but you ignore it. At least you convince yourself to.

disclaimer: yn with "I" pov format x slowburn

Lights were casting a shadow enveloping me as I headed toward Charles's room. My mind went on full speed and palms getting wet, feet suffering from the fancy wearing for this job. High heels clapping was the only thing disturbing this silence. This whole job experience was pestering but there was no choice but moving out from my family.

Butterflies in stomach were at its peak as I started to acknowledge this is our first meeting. Did I feel like a stalker? Standing in front of his door in a hotel he was accommodated? Definitely. But it is better to meet up here then outside with sound screeching and flashing cameras.

Giving myself one big inhale to reach for the door knob, the wooden squeak made me fall few steps behind and muscles stopped moving as Charles was leaving the apartment. Wearing Ray Ban sunglasses does a lot to one's sight evidentially. His presence was getting far away from mine as he was heading towards the elevator.

"Wait!"

The growing distance between us has stopped. With a serious tone and hands pointing at me, "I'll call the security''

My throat got tight and words couldn't pass through. His words were flowing in and out of me as waves of the ocean in the night, making me restless. Time flew fast and I was met once again with his back showing a gray hoodie.

"I'm your new assistant!"

Hope filled my veins. Mind was playing with the possibility of being thrown out displayed as a fan girl. NOT. His turn was so abrupt I was shocked he didn't crack his neck. Sweet, yet deep voice crashed my eardrums making me feel searing.

"YN?"

I nodded and I finally let my lungs chill. Damn, this started easy.

Sides of his lips crooked making me feel not welcomed but I could finally take a breath. The distance got shorter while I remained situated on one position.

"Sorry for that. I'm Charles."

Chuckle left my mouth as I found the introduction nonessential. Hands connected with him leaving warm tickles on my skin and his cologne messing my senses. God, he smelled good.

“I’m sorry, I must have looked like a stalker,” his nod made me feel even worse.

All I could inhale was airy scent torturing me, enlarging the lift going down with no noise to muddle the silence. A sway of sadness ran through my body given the fact I have to do this job. Slow mornings moving my body to the sound of inner peace and calmness enveloping my heart, the safeness growing inside of me as if it would tear me apart if given the chance to expand. Creative days with no rush and restrictions in nature. Looking to the sunlight and warming my skin touching its sleeves. I never in my heart wanted to be this 'empowered independent' woman the society has made.

I lost all the hope when opening the door of SUV myself. Has the chivalry really gone dead? Thoughts were torn off from the noise, exciting screams from Ferrari fans hovering over the car.

"Have you previously done such a job?" His gaze locked onto mine; I tilted my head in an attempt to discern the eye color, but no clear answer emerged. I chose to let the moment slide.

"No experience with the celebrity lifestyle." He nodded reassuringly, expressing confidence that I would adapt well.

The quietude felt like a snare. Knowing he is not the chatty one, I clenched my teeth. Fingers touched the screen on iPad scrolling through files kept for assisting Charles's personal life.

''I've made some changes and saved a decent amount of money''

I skimmed through the palette on the page styling and got myself wondering which of these colors match his.

''Oh, wow,'' resonated through the air. ''I trust your intellect. You are paid for it after all''

The spoken words seared into my ears, yet I acknowledged him for stating the obvious. Almost as if summoned, my mind spilled forth the reasons why I had accepted this job. The whole concept of my future given by my family's idea was the reason. Working for Charles was better than staying home.

My fingers danced across the screen, orchestrating household tasks in his absence, as a cool breeze caressed my skin. I found solace in the fact that within the SUV, I could relish the refreshing chill, outside it was a walk through hell. Speaking of, it felt as though someone had touched me with a hot frying pan against my bare skin. I turned my gaze to the left, only to find his eyes expressing fondness toward my exposed thigh. The fleeting moment of admiration came to an abrupt end as our eyes locked, and I could swear I detected a spark of intensity in his gaze. Its reason unknown to me. The back of my thigh touched the seat underneath as feet touched the floor again.

''We're almost there'' having Ray Ban again.

Leaving the car as the last one, setting feet in the hell delivered a numb pain. Mix of frustration and calling for help left my lips making Charles shot a glance in my direction as I sat there.

"What's the matter?" The genuine tone in his voice caused my shoulders to slump.

''These heels are killing me,'' skimming the pair of Jimmy Choo heels made my lips curl.

I liked to dress. Wear pretty things. But per usual, pretty things cost, coming from a humble background, the prospect of high heels and I seemed like an incompatible pair, especially in the beginning.

My breath caught in my throat as I stared ahead.

"I value my employees; choose something more comfortable next time," he continued through clenched teeth.

''I am supposed to look presentable,'' I retorted.

''You can look presentable while being comfortable,'' with his last words, he turned away, revealing his back—a connection I, regrettably, began to foster too much.

Engaging in Formula 1 is demanding on both the psyche and the body of the driver. This is why considerable effort is dedicated to maintaining optimal physical fitness, the amount of work they put into it is out of this world and one wouldn’t even tell. This misunderstanding often stems from the assumption that individuals who engage in rigorous physical training automatically develop bulky muscles. However, in Formula 1, many drivers maintain a lean physique with a minimal percentage of body fat.

This is one of the reasons I accepted this job—a relatively minor one, but my admiration for these drivers played a part in my decision. even though they don't save lives of others while risking their lives like firefighters do, they still risk a lot.

Sound of chaos lingered around me watching Charles race on the Singapore circuit, my vision blurred as I found myself yearning for something more profound to heighten the level of respect for this man, changing the weight from one foot to another.

Mere fame is insufficient for me to offer respect. A person, regardless of their status, should demonstrate general respect towards women and interact with them using good manners. I ran away from my family because of this and I block any misconceptions this society made. As of now, I have a feeling that something might be off with Charles.

“You’re the new assistant?” I titled my chin up to see a man looking at me. His hair seemed to absorb no light at all. Forming theories about the man—his inclination toward comfortable attire and a penchant for photography—I nodded in acknowledgment and shifted my focus back to the swift cars, resembling nothing more than fleeting smudges.

“I’m Joris, Charles's close friend”

His hand reached out to me and I accepted his offer.

“I believe it’s quite a job huh?”

This man believed that either way I took this job being incompetent or he tried to start a conversation. Either way I didn’t like how he started.

“Job is ok. People are the tricky one”

His silence provided a momentary relief, causing my tense body to ease. Soon after, someone came to my vision.

A blonde-haired woman enveloped Joris in a warm hug, and the sound of French language resonated in the air. Despite my understanding of French, I chose to keep to myself.

“He’s really put it on a whole new level”

Words stopped at my level, their bodies facing mine.

“Yes, this is YN”

Seeing her face, I smiled. I had a break from work, and I preferred not to spend it with people I don't know.

“I’m not surprised though. I’m Carla”

We shook hands but my mind was elsewhere. Her choice of words got my attention. ''What do you mean by that?''

I was told curious creatures get killed fast. I am okay with that. Joris expression fell and my curiosity grew. On the other hand, Carla showed us white teeth. She was giving me the vibe she could sleep like a baby even after spilling everyone's secrets.

“He is focusing on career now, doing a decent work like tidying his room is a distraction for him I suppose”

Laughter filled the space and the way she proceeded those words made me question everything. It was clear that she was his friend, and her disapproval of his decision to hire a personal assistant inclined me to be drawn to her side and trust her perspective. Bad feeling about Charles was not a coincidence.

Legs swept me elsewhere still on the territory of the Ferrari background but as I got consumed by thinking about everything and nothing, I lost the track where I was heading. The lighting changed, and the once resounding sounds of engines and formulas on the track dissipated. A metal door ahead beckoned me, and without overthinking, I reached for the knob, immediately sensing a shift in the atmosphere. Before me stood an elegant kitchen counter and a man donned in a Ferrari shirt. As our eyes met, I instinctively moved to offer an apology, feeling as though my legs were already propelling me towards the exit. However, he was quicker in his response. His warm smile welcomed me and I looked at his wrinkles around the eyes. He could be in his forties and Italian.

''Ciao''

Shyness enveloped me as it displayed on my scrunched eyebrows and crooked lips. I greeted him back.

''I am Andrea''

As the doors finally closed, my hands released their grip on the cold metal beneath my fingertips. ''I'm YN. Sorry If I disturbed you''

His laugher filled the space as If I told him the most hilarious joke ever and he closed the distance while still keeping his spirit up. His arms enveloped me in a warm hug, creating a sensation akin to being in a cozy room illuminated by flickering candles. Indeed, this guy exuded the comforting ambiance of a room bathed in candlelight.

I put the dots together. He is the personal trainer of Charles. He sent me reports about expanses on stuff for Charles's training. For the first time this day, laugh left my lips as this situation seemed so embarrassing to me, but to keep it fair, I haven't encountered any familiar faces since my interview and I got my feet on the Singapore land just today. But I felt immense gratefulness for Andrea. Mind note: I have to buy him candles sometimes. My stomach seemed to have a mind of its own as it growled, and we both erupted in laughter.

''Oh my, let me make you something''

My eyes felt like they were on the verge of falling out, and I fully embraced the mode of sabotaging the mission he had so earnestly accepted. He shook me with more laughing telling me to relax. I stopped harassing him and hopped on the barstool.

''Thank you, but you really don't have to do that'' He kept quiet with a warm smile on his face as his hands worked the magic. I didn't know what he was making, he could poison me for all I care. I did not. My soul hasn't felt this warm since I have flown through the air gate to Singapore. And it is a lot to say when it is a living hell outside there.

''I believe you’re not used to long flights''

I hummed in response and engaged him about my flight. I wanted to keep it short, but my monologue ended with details and meeting with Charles. He furrowed his eyebrows listening to me while fiddling something on the frying pan. Yep, he could easily poison me if he wanted to.

''That surprises me, Charles is always like a sunshine''

First Carla, now Andrea. As if written on a secret paper known only to few, they were describing Charles differently than I have experienced him to be making my head spin. But as long as I keep receiving money so I can leave this job and start the life I want, then I am fine not being included to this 'crew'.

''I noticed how Charles has changed his approach towards career now,'' lingered in not so approving way and I couldn't hold back anymore.

''Change of approach?''

He nodded and I cursed myself for keeping the question short. Just when I accepted the end of discussion, he put the food on a clean plate and continued.

''He's really hard on himself. He has two brothers and lost a father.''

Words hit me like a rock bottom and my breath got stuck for a second. The sound of plate landing on the counter and the smell of the food freed me from my momentary mental drift. Clearing my throat facing the warm smile.

''I knew he has brothers, but didn't know he is the oldest one''

Andrea shook his head immediately placing the utensils next to the plate.

''He is not. He is the middle child, but Charles is just Charles.''

I understood his words and took my focus on the food in front of me. My stomach responded in gratefulness as the egg omelette was filling its smell to my nostrils. Taking a bite resolved in an appreciative moan as Andrea laughed at my reaction, but his smile slowly faded away as I sensed another presence behind my back. I turned my torso with full mouth of the omelette to see Charles in his gear.

The first upper half of the gear was open, hanging itself on the sides of hips showing the fireproof underneath, displaying his toned chest. Red really suited him. Charles had this lazy look in his eyes shooting through my skull telling me something encrypted in a highly sensual manner and as I become aware I'm no longer chewing, I took off my eyes from him to the plate again.

The food sliding down had a hard time doing so and I shifted my focus to Andrea to thank him. Charles moved like a ghost behind Andrea and pulling out the water from the cabinet. Italian language filled the room and I prayed for having the food eaten already.

I found out Andrea was telling the truth; he was like a sunshine.His dimples were on full display, and his delightful chuckle echoed, sounding like a melody to my ears. I didn't wanna melt here on the barstool so I ate like a daredevil. When Andrea noticed me finishing, he reached for the plate.

''Don't worry about it, I wash it''

Frozen on the spot, he took the plate with a polite smile and I thanked him for it. I couldn't help myself looking away from Charles. He was eyeing me while taking a sip of his bottle. Sweat on his forehead made his longer hair stick to the skin in a delicious matter and I felt my knees to buckle soon. Shifting from warm to cold to hot in a second wasn't good for my heart. I excused myself and went anywhere but there.

Two days have passed and the only conversation I had with Charles were short sentences about work. He finished forth in yesterday's race resolving his mood to worsen. I overheard how critical he can be towards himself.

I was shocked how mean he was and upset about forth place out of twenty. But we are separate individuals with different dreams, If I had lost a small amount of money resolving in postponing my leaving and pursuing my dream life, I would be mad as the weather in Singapore is.

Charles told me he doesn't need me for the rest of the evening so I had practically a time off preparing for tomorrow's flight.

[sobblesources]

THAT'S CALLED LOVE WITH THE COMMON TOUCH .

a collection of sentence starters from the airborne toxic event's album ' hollywood park ' . edited to fit rp needs , adjust pronouns as necessary . warnings for swears

❛ i could feel it in my veins , ❜

❛ we were running away , ❜

❛ i'm tired of living a lie , ❜

❛ they were writing their names up in the sky , ❜

❛ i felt like i was ready to die , ❜

❛ you can change if you're ready to try , ❜

❛ nothing could come between you & i , ❜

❛ we knew we'd lost our home , ❜

❛ there's only the wreckage , & this dirt still on my hands , ❜

❛ what becomes of us now ? ❜

❛ i never claimed i knew how this would end , ❜

❛ i hope ( they ) make you smile , ❜

❛ i swear i see your face once & a while , ❜

❛ did you find what you were looking for ? ❜

❛ did you stay sober ? ❜

❛ i hope you make it back alive , ❜

❛ can't they just let me be ? ❜

❛ all i know is i need to be someone , ❜

❛ put a charm upon this life of mine , ❜

❛ take this heart of mine & tell it how to love , ❜

❛ carry me somewhere far away from this life that's waiting here for me , ❜

❛ i know i'll die if i ever come back here again , ❜

❛ come on , out with it , ❜

❛ you hope to replace how the emptiness fills you inside , ❜

❛ you say you had your reasons , ❜

❛ they're after us , ❜

❛ i don't want to be here , ❜

❛ the silence is driving me out of my mind , ❜

❛ tell me , why'd you even bother ? ❜

❛ what's everybody screaming about ? ❜

❛ all our illusions fell , ❜

❛ if you jump too high , you'll fall harder than before , ❜

❛ why'd you let me down ? ❜

❛ when are you gonna come around ? ❜

❛ we grew up way too fast , ❜

❛ i'll be gone & i'll stay gone , ❜

❛ they stole our past , but they can't steal our future , ❜

❛ stop staring , ❜

❛ they say the end is coming , ❜

❛ you cried while i patched you up , ❜

❛ it's so much better to have loved & lost , ❜

❛ there's a hole in your heart , just go fill it with love , ❜

❛ what is love ? ❜

❛ ( they'll ) never know the power ( they ) wield , ❜

❛ i was childishly hoping you'd pull me through , ❜

❛ give me a moment of time less alone in my mind , ❜

❛ i'm stranger than you can imagine , it's true , ❜

❛ i'm yours , & i'm yours , & i'm here , ❜

❛ i swear there's nothing to fear , ❜

❛ i waited for you to be whole , ❜

❛ can you remember when our hearts were open ? ❜

❛ i always hear the same damn thing , ❜

❛ i got sixty - nine problems , but one ain't me , ❜

❛ seriously , i don't give a fuck if my answer isn't good enough , ❜

❛ the common touch ain't worth the price , ❜

❛ i swear i still got some good moves left , ❜

❛ i swear i don't feel a goddamn thing , ❜

❛ does god know what's going on ? ❜

❛ i can't be alone just yet , ❜

❛ you're the only good thing that i've got left , ❜

❛ we're going to have a good time yet , ❜

❛ i swear that i'll always be something you can believe , ❜

❛ yeah they say that jesus saves , but i couldn't write that on ( their ) grave , ❜

❛ i lost my shit when i heard the call , ❜

❛ i'm sorry i put this at your feet , ❜

❛ can't you see ? ❜

❛ were you ever scared like me ? ❜

❛ just let it be like rain on flowers , ❜

❛ the highest life brought out the lowest out of me , ❜

❛ you're never really off my mind , ❜

❛ it was more than i could take , ❜

❛ the truth is always wrong , ❜

❛ it's true you were my best friend , ❜

❛ we needed each other in the end , ❜

❛ i know we'll be together then , ❜

❛ i'll see you again , ❜

❛ i won't ever let go , & that's one thing you can trust , ❜

[gildeddlily]

I need more content about Chuuya. like, Soukoku is the bsd couple with more works on Ao3, the most loved of the whole fandom, there are over 20 thousand fanfictions. there are tons of edits and AMV about him on tiktok and youtube, tons of x reader and fanarts. but it's (almost) always the sweet and a little dumb Chuuya.

Chuuya who's in love with Dazai and is begging him not to leave, who's mad at him for leaving the fricking mafia and "abandoning him", who's crying about being the second choice for everyone (fuck that, especially the "kouyou chose kyouka over chuuya"- you're telling me she chose to protect a 14ys girl over a 22ys man who's a mafia executive? oh sorry she should have left the child alone my bad), who is constantly manipulated by Dazai and betrayed (and content like this is made by people who love Dazai but don't understand him one bit- like yeah he manipulated the Sheep into betraying Chuuya but the Sheep were fucking assholes who didn't deserve Chuuya, and Dazai treated him fucking better than them- don't let me get started ab them or I'll never stop), feminized Chuuya, short and skinny Chuuya who likes to be the little spoon cause Dazai is the big strong man, lonely Chuuya who doesn't have anyone and basically dumb Chuuya who doesn't understand Dazai and cries to his sleep ab him.

fuck no, and I've been reposting every post that talks ab this. we want more Stormbringer Chuuya, and we don't have him 'cause not everyone has access to the novel or wants to read it. but Stormbringer is my Bible and should be everyone's.

We want more 15 years old Chuuya who carried on his shoulder a whole organization, the same organization that treated him like a damned dog, who got betrayed by the people he was sacrificing himself for the moment he tried to do something for himself, who was tricked into joining the Port Mafia (an organization he hated), who's easily read and manipulated and is aware of it, who never gave up on his humanity and worked hard and became important and strong for his new organization in a year as a teenager, who was able to made Dazai survive, giving him some sort of will to live, after like days of knowing him.

We want constantly dehumanized 16 Chuuya that got tortured for hours, that found out about his terrible origins and past, who sacrificed fondamental information about himself to save Yokohama, that almost got himself killed protecting the same person who betrayed him and fought his "brother" in order to do so, that lose the friends he called family and the only chance he had to have a life outside the mafia. Desperate because of his family's death Chuuya, in his painful corrupted form Chuuya, putting his life in Dazai's hands Chuuya, the one who beated the King of Assassins Chuuya, the one who was able to destroy an entire organization with his partner Chuuya. Port Mafia Executive Chuuya, who became who he was because of himself and with Dazai's help, who was able to become stronger even without him. Chuuya who suffered because of Dazai's deflection but understood it.

22 Chuuya who met his ex-partner after four years, stronger than how Dazai remembered him and still able to surprise (Dazai's "how fast!" when Chuuya punched him was hilarious and empowering, especially after his "I know all your moves" talk- and no, we "heard" his thoughts, so it wasn't an act stop saying that he had predicted that too when chuuya's like one of the only ppl able to surprise him) one of the smartest people in their country, who made sure things didn't change between them and made said smart and manipulative man cry from laughing over his damned rich girl impression. Chuuya who is the best martial artist and probably strongest ability user (Q is a child, and his "fight" with Steinbeck said a lot about his strength- crazy yes, but Chuuya could still beat almost everyone even without his ability) in the mafia, who could probably smash a wall with and without For The Tainted Sorrow. The Chuuya who's able to survive in a world surrounded by geniuses who constantly try to manipulate him (Dazai's manipulation is different than Fyodor's shut up), and able to be one of the most influential man in Yokohama without being a freaking genius.

Chuuya who has one of the best character developments I've ever read. Chuuya who has about him a lot of information (more than anyone else, we know you love him Asagiri) (please don't love him the way you loved Odasaku) and still gets mischaracterized again and again. this is an infodump ab what Chuuya means to me.

send ao3 links ty

[angelsanarchy]

Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N One-Shot Series PRT 38 {END}

Tagging: @roryculkinluvr@thatsthewrongwallcraig@icarus-star @cc-luvr @madamemaximoff06@shady-the-simp @quicksilversg1rl @s-0lar @kristennero-wallacewellsver@ophelialaufey @mayathepsychic1999 @x-prettyboy-x @rorylover71 @auggiethecreator @tempt-ress @blacksoul-27 @kappasbbgirl @starry-eyed-wild-child

Jack sits in the bedroom with the light off and the glow of the tv with the volume down low is behind him as the cute, little fluff of white fur sits atop a pillow on Y/n's side of the bed. When the sound of the call comes over the laptop, he answers it quickly with a smile.

"Hi baby, I've missed that stupid face. How are my boys doing?" Y/n said from the other side of the screen.

"I've honestly never cleaned up more shit in my life. I swear he's doing it on purpose just to drive me crazier." Jack explains.

"It's how he shows love. Besides, he's a rescue so we knew he would have some things." Y/n reminded.

"Well if you start shitting all over the place to show me love, I'm sleeping on the porch." Jack teased making Y/n laugh.

"I miss you." Listening to her laugh and seeing her smile reminds Jack that she's been gone for three days. He's been home for three whole days without having her sleeping next to him, eating a meal with her, being inside of her.

"How's my girls doing? Is she a good traveler?" Jack asked as Y/n held up the sweetest ginger cat so that he could see her.

"She's been sleeping the whole way. Something tells me you two will be fast friends." Jack smiled seeing the sleepy kitten that Y/n snuggled in front of her camera.

"I can't wait for my girls to be home. I miss you so damn much." Jack takes a deep breath and Y/n puts the kitten back in her carry case so she can focus on him.

"Aw I'll be home soon enough to help you clean up all the shit." She teases. Jack laughs making the pup stir only slightly.

"Have you heard back from your publisher yet? How the book sale numbers should be in by now right?" Y/n asked but Jack sighed pushing his hair out of his face.

"Nothing yet. He said he would email me and I haven't gotten anything yet so I've been trying to keep busy." She frowns seeing the anxiety hanging off his brow.

"Hey if I'm a shit writer, I can always put my cock on the internet." Jack shrugged making Y/n smirk.

"I'm not in the habit of sharing my cock, thanks." Y/n leaned forward on her hands and Jack started to stroke himself through his pajama pants.

"You know I love when you talk about owning my cock." He grits through his teeth.

"Of course I own that cock baby, I put a ring on it." She bit her lip.

"Come on now, let mommy see." She presses and Jack stands from his chair and pushes his pants down to reveal his semi-hard cock with a cock ring fastened securely around the base.

"That's my good boy." Y/n stood up from the bed and started peeling her clothes off until she could sit the laptop on the side of the bed so she lay back to show him the plug she had wedged tightly into her ass. Jack started jerking his cock and practically crying as he watched her tease him.

"I'm gonna wear this the whole way home so when I take that ring off that pretty cock I love so much, you can fuck me the entire day." Y/n started fingering herself as she watched Jack tug himself roughly, using his free hand to squeeze his neglected balls.

"I want to fuck you so badly. I want to cum in every single one of your holes until it's seeping out of you. Oh fuck I want to cum so bad." Jack whined. He watched Y/n's hand as she started to bring herself to an orgasm and he licked his palm so he could twist the top of his cock teasing himself to no end. He knew he wasn't going to cum. He wanted to save it for her. All he kept thinking about since she left was cumming all over her, inside of her, like a fucking pent up fountain. He wanted to shoot his cum all over her face, her tits, her back and ass cheeks. He wanted to cover her in his cum like a dog smelling the heat of his mate.

The way she made him feel when he was this desperate for her was a filthy, pathetic mess but he fucking loved it. Once she got off, she watched him release his cock and take deep breaths.

"You're such a good boy. Saving all that cum for mommy." Y/n sounded exhausted and Jack whimpered as he felt his cock twitch with the ring still snug. Once Jack calmed down, he pulled his pants back up and sat back in the chair watching Y/n lay across the hotel bed, half naked and smiling at him.

Before he could say anything, his email dinged and they both froze. She scrambled to get to the laptop and Jack rushed to open the email from his publisher.

"No fucking way...this can't be real." Jack felt his heart beating so fast, he feared he might pass out.

"What does it say? Jack?! What does it say!?" She practically yelled.

"I made the best sellers list..." Jack said looking at her on the screen. Her hands went to her mouth and she shrieked.

"BABY! YOU FUCKING DID IT!" She jumped off the bed and started jumping up and down holding the laptop and Jack laughed as he wiped away tears.

"I fucking did it." He nodded as she sat the laptop back down.

"I can't wait to be home and kiss you! I'm so proud of you Jack." Y/n had tears running down her face and Jack took in a shaky breath. He couldn't believe this was his life. Two years ago, he was ready to give up. He was ready to let his demons engulf him. Now he was in love, had a family, a home and a best selling book.

"I love you." He says sincerely and she smiles at him.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

[potter-head-phanatic]

Word count: 911 Masterlist Tag List xx

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jake and Y/N stood outside of their fathers apartment door after he bailed on them, once again. She could see how tense her brother was, from the frown on his face to the clench in his fist. Polar opposite to how he usually felt. "I have to, or hes going to keep doing it" She whispered an okay before giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, letting him know that she was right there with him, before knocking on the door. A few moments later, the door opened and Roger Peralta looked surprised to see them. "Jake! Y/N! I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the party" he started to say and Y/N could already feel an excuse coming, "I'm subbing for a buddy who's got an early flight, I'm sure you're upset" There it is. "No, actually. I'm not upset at all" She wanted to say something, but Jake was finally standing up for himself and she wasn't going to stop him. "yeah? great" She wanted to wipe the stupid smile off his face, not believing he could be this clueless to think Jake actually wasn't upset. "No, more relieved. You know you were always my hero, but i think i'm finally starting to see you for who you really are. A regional airline pilot whose landings are bumpy as hell and a pretty selfish guy who genuinely doesn't care about being a dad" She couldn't be more proud of her brother and agreed with every word he just said. "Jake, you don't understand. There was a downdraft on the drummondville runway." The Peralta patriarch kept looking at Y/N out of the corner of his eye, feeling uncomfortable under her glare. "It's not my fault" It never is. "Look, i've been making excuses for you my whole life, no matter how many times Y/N told me not to. But you're a pretty crappy father, and until you're ready to be a good one, don't call me" Y/N wanted to jump for joy. She couldn't remember the amount of times she envisioned this moment happening, and to see the shocked expression on their fathers face made it worth the wait.

"Also, im taking your captains hat cause it's cool and I want it" Jake spoke as he reached into the apartment, grabbing the hat from the table that was beside the door, before putting it on. "Go on without me. I'll meet you outside, there's something I need to say" He looked at her as if to say, are you sure? After a reassuring nod, he gave his sisters shoulder a squeeze before heading down the hallway and making his way outside. Not before sending one final glare towards Roger. Y/N waited till she didn't hear Jakes footsteps anymore before turning towards her father once again. "You really messed up this time" Roger went to defend himself, but she held a hand out, not letting him get a word out. "Save it. You're always full of excuses" Y/N couldnt hold her anger back much longer. Years of pent up rage just threatening to burst free. "Jake has been nothing but loving towards you. Even when you don't deserve it. And you show up all of a sudden acting like you want to spend time with him, when all you want to do is use him for your own selfish gain. You should be ashamed of yourself!" "Now hold on..." "I'm not done" He shut his mouth quick enough, surprised at the way his daughter was speaking to him. Y/N was finally letting all of her feelings out and it was making her feel lighter and lighter by the second. "I have spent my whole life trying to protect Jake, and I would like to think i've done a damn good job. So if you don't get serious about being in his life, dont bother coming back. It doesnt matter to me, i've gotten used to you disappointing me, but i'll be damned if I let you hurt him again" Roger Peralta had never felt so put in his place before, but there was also a small feeling of pride. Knowing just how much his children cared for one another. He couldnt think of anything to say, but it didnt matter. Even if he did, he watched as Y/N turn around and walk away at a fast pace, wanting to get away from him as fast as possible. When she got outside, she saw her brother sitting on the front steps of the building with his head in his hands. She carefully approached him and sat beside him on the cold steps, lightly nudging his arm. "Hey, dont think about him, we're better off" He tiredly ran his hands down his face while letting out a long sigh, "I'm so dumb, how could I not see this coming" "Hey, youre not dumb" she protested as she wrapped her arm around is shoulders, not wanting him to feel bad about himself, "you're just a hopeful person, thats a good quality to have" He looked over at her with a small smile, "What did I do to deserve an amazing sister like you" "I dont know, something amazing in a past life" They both laughed before standing up and heading to Y/Ns car, heading back to Shaw's bar where their work family was waiting for them.

[demdozeguys]

Strap in for a long one, because it's time for:

REVIEWING AND RANKING EVERY GAME I GOT FROM THE STEAM SUMMER SALE

ramblings under the cut:

UNRANKED: ULTRA STREET FIGHTER IV

okay look I know I said I'd be ranking all of these but putting a fighting game up against six linear-progression single-player adventure type games feels a bit unfair.

as for whether I liked it: yeah it's alright. it's street fighter, it's fun. only time will tell how much my brother and I will get out of it, but I'm already feeling like I don't like it quite as much as 5. how much of that is due to 4 not having Urien is anyone's guess.

#6: CROW COUNTRY

I'm gonna be honest I didn't fuck with this game nearly as much as I thought I would.

maybe it's because I'm new to the genre. maybe it's because I've been spoiled by autosave. or maybe it's just because I can't aim to save my life. but losing upwards of 20 minutes of progress every time some creature I failed to hit or juke tagged me one too many times got frustrating pretty fast.

I didn't hate my time with Crow Country. the environments are gorgeous, the story kept me intrigued, and filling out my mental list of "oh shit I can go here now"s was still satisfying. if this is your thing don't let me dissuade you, I just wasn't built for it.

#5: KAMIKO

Kamiko is decent fun, but there's not really a whole lot to say about it. It's a short and sweet zelda-esque game where the meat of the playtime comes from trying to go through it as fast as possible, and as you'll see later I happen to enjoy going fast. enjoyable, but not super meaty. if you like routing and time management give it a shot.

#4: PONY ISLAND

Alright, this is where we get into the Good Shit.

Pony Island is a game in which you play a game called Pony Island made by The Devil From The Bible. every few minutes there's some new weird meta setpiece to keep you on your toes, plus the code puzzles and pony sections between are solid fun on their own. it's a great time. and if you're interested, there's a pretty solid reward for getting 100%.

if I had to dock points, it didn't seem to have much in the way of replayability, but that's not a huge dealbreaker. I really need to get my hands on Inscryption now.....

#3: SPOOKY'S JUMPSCARE MANSION REMASTERED

I'm not normally big on horror but Spooky's kept me coming back. despite going into it already knowing what all the specimens did, they managed to keep me on the edge of my seat because you never know when they're going to show up. combine the legitimate building terror with an offbeat and self-aware sense of humor and you have a damn fun package.

it's worth noting that as of writing this, I've only completed the main story. the DLC campaigns probably won't affect the final ranking? but I have a feeling they'll make me appreciate the game more.

#2: PEPPER GRINDER

Pepper Grinder is fucking awesome.

The level design is great, the soundtrack rips, and just moving around with the core gimmick of "what if you could drill and then jump out" is so good. I just really wish there was more of it.

I was able to get all the major in-level collectibles and reach the end in under 3 hours. the bulk of my playtime came from the time trials, which do manage to hit a sweet spot of encouraging you to push yourself without requiring CBT perfection. demolishing the gold medal on the final boss took me well over an hour's worth of attempts and may have been one of the most viscerally satisfying challenges I've ever completed in a game.

Pepper Grinder is really, really cool. But if it had another world's worth of levels it would be even cooler.

#1: CHICORY: A COLORFUL TALE

Man. I fucking love Chicory.

The vibes are immacculate. The story made me really feel for these gay little animals. The soundtrack is delightful (Lena Raine, everybody!). The exploration is rewarding. The painting mechanics made me actively want to go back to areas I'd already been to and recolor them better than I did originally, which is like. not something most games do. You can even draw penises everywhere if you want. There's something for everybody.

I'm having a hard time putting down exactly what made me fall head over heels for this game as much as I did - especially when I wasn't expecting to going into it. Maybe it was just in the right place at the right time. No matter how it cheated the system, Chicory is easily the best game I picked up.

And that's that. this was my first time doing something like this (especially on tumblr) so it felt kinda weird but idk lmk if I planted any seeds in your brain

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

https://www.tumblr.com/caramel-ribbons/720001793861533696/i-just-watched-avatar-for-the-first-time-all-the?source=share

what do you think of this post? i found it kind of.. weird, in the way it talked about her relationship with team avatar compared to her relationship with zuko

It started out okay, turned into a train-wreck REAL fast.

I can understand being annoyed at how people will make fun of something like Katara bringing up her mom a lot, especially if these people don't do that for any other character when they ALL bring up their traumas a lot, but the way it quickly escalated into "Actually, Katara was right in telling her brother he didn't love their mom like she did" was honestly one of the most disgusting things I've read by anyone in this fandom - which is saying a lot.

Also, once again the complete bullshit claims of "The Gaang and Aang in particular never try to be there for Katara, emotionally, like she was for them."

Considering this person mentioned disliking videos that frame the entire show as just Katara being a bitch towards poor, friendzoned nice guy Aang, I would not be surprised if they let this dumb edits drastically affect how they see completely innocent Kataang moments as being something they weren't OR that they had already read Zutara "metas" (aka wildly out of character fanfic) and formed their opinion on these dynamics looooong before they actually watched the show.

People really gotta stop focusing on what the FANDOM does when they are talking about how CHARACTERS behave towards each other. Yes, some fans are sexist and hate Katara for the "crime" of being a female character - that does not mean the Gaang forced her into the role of being their mom/caretaker/therapist.

Sokka is CONSTANTLY trying to be useful the group. Toph learned to open up and clearly enjoyed spending time with Katara, even if it was to do things she did not want to do at first (you TRY dragging Toph to a spa and have people touch her feet after she explicitly said that was the one thing they were not allowed to do. See how fast you get crushed by a rock).

And Aang - oh my God, AANG. That boy was all about trying to make Katara happy from day one. They played together, he offered to go with her to the Northern Water Tribe so she could become a pro-waterbender, would always apologize to her whenever he did something wrong, explicitly told her she gave him hope (mirroring how she had hope the Avatar would save the world), was in complete awe after she literally brought him back to life, fucking blew up a factory with her, and tried to stop her from making a big mistake and sacrificing what was left of her innocence by killing a (admitedly AWFUL) man - yes, Zutarians, NOT letting your friend do something they'll regret IS being a good friend and thinking of what's best for them, sorry not sorry.

THE WHOLE REASON Katara is so emotionally attached to Aang and wants to be there for him whenever he needs anything is because HE ALLOWED HER TO BE A KID AND HAVE FUN AGAIN.

You'd think so called "Katara fans" would be able to understand such a simple concept that she verbally explains to us IN THE FIRST DAMN EPISODE!

Anyone that claims Aang didn't love and support Katara just as much as she did him is either misremembering the show, in deep denial, or just flat out lying to you.

[alyssaswrld999]

What's Got Your Panties In A Twist Sunshine?/ Daryl Dixon x Reader

Description: While on Hershels Farm Y/n is getting annoyed by Shane. He finally says something to far and Y/n gets into a fight. It all leads to a big thing for Daryl to take care of her.

Warning: Harming themselves, Depression, Violence

Y/n's POV:

Making it this far was a long process but it was worth it. Being here on this farm and having Hershel and his family help us out is a big thing I'm grateful for.

Hershel saved Carl's life and he's allowed us to stay here if we help out. I owe it to Hershel because I really feel like I need to do a lot of my share around here.

When I was younger around 13 or 14 years old I worked at a Horse ranch in the summer time so I'm well aware of taking care of horses. Hershel gave me the job to feed and water the horses and make sure they are ok. I didn't have a problem with it because it gave me something to do instead of being stuck with Shane complaining.

Me and Shane never have gotten along ever since I've been in the group. I arrived with Daryl and Merle at the start and Shane has always treated me like shit cause I knew the Dixons.

"Hey Hershel I'm going to check on the horses so if you need me I'll be in the stables" I said walking down the hallway to the front door. "Alright just be safe and come runnin if you need me" Hershel hollered back.

I smiled and make my way outside and down the porch steps. Today was a hot day so I was just wearing jean shorts, shoes, and a tank top. That's what happens when Georgia heat hits you hard.

As I finally make it down to the stables I seen Daryl down there looking at one of the horses. "Hey Daryl you okay?" I asked. Daryl looked over at me and he had his hand up to his mouth. He seemed lost in thought and very focused on something.

"I'm alright" Daryl said walking over to me. I nodded my head and I started to walk over to the horse he was standing in front of. "Wanna help me with the horses" I said. Daryl nodded his head and followed me so we can check the horses.

-------------------------------------------------------

We finally got done taking care of the horses and we both walk back to Hershels house. As we walk past I seen Shane staring at me and he seemed in a pissy mood.

"Oh look here seems Y/n loves the chores so much she's got a redneck helping her to. Must be part of her little fantasy ain't that right Y/n?" Shane hollered. I paused and looked over at Shane.

"What was that Walsh?" I said. Shane looked at me and got up from his seat. "You heard me girl you got dixon over here following you around like a puppy dog and your all for it aren't ya" Shane said.

I balled my fists and I looked at Shane with a death stare. "Why are you so focused on me Shane? Cause the last I checked you had your eyes somewhere else isn't that right?" I said. Shane already knew what I was talking about. He knows that I caught him and Lori in the woods and I haven't told Rick yet.

But then again why would I want to waist my breath on a douchebag like Shane Walsh? Besides that ain't my damn business to tell its Lori's, Ricks and Shane's.

"Your really gonna start with that" Shane said. I nodded my head and looked at him. "Don't start something you can't finish Shane" I said and then turned to walk away.

"Oh really? Well why don't you tell Daryl and everyone else what you did when we searched for Sophia? How bout you tell em how much of a coward you are?" Shane added.

I stopped and froze in place of what he said. After Sophia went missing I searched and searched and searched for her. It was my fault she got lost and I decided to punish myself for it. I starved myself, I hurt myself, I even couldn't sleep at night because of it. I just wasn't to quiet one night and Shane seen me.

I turned around and looked at Shane dead in the eyes. "Come on Y/n tell em" Shane said smiling. I walk towards him really fast and I take my fist and punch him across the jaw. His whole face turns to the side and he steps back.

He turns his face back and his lip was bleeding a little. "YOU BITCH" Shane yelled and then darted towards me. He punched me in the face and then pushed me on the ground.

Daryl finally grabbed him and got him off top of me and started punching Shane. Rick ran over to get them to stop fighting. I get up off the ground and make my way over to them. As Rick got them apart I snuck up behind Shane and knocked him out with my gun that I had with me.

Shane falls to the ground and I kick his side. "Who's the coward now bitch" I said walking away. I wiped my nose and it was bleeding but I didn't care at this moment. I make my way over to Daryls campsite and I fix up my face.

-------------------------------------------------------

Five minutes pass and I finally got my face cleaned up a lot more. I totally know I'm gonna have a black eye tommorow because of the damn punch I took.

But then again Daryl beat the hell out of Shane as well not even including the damn right hook I gave him across the jaw.

It's just I really need to get some more work done and just tend to this little campsite Daryls made. I decided to leave Daryls tent and start cleaning around the place.

Considering the fact Shane's gonna be more pissed at me its best if I stay with Daryl. Besides what's Shane gonna do since he got messed up.

"What are you doin" Daryl said. I didn't expect the archer and I jumped up and looked over to see Daryl. "Hey uh just cleanin up around the place. I hope ya don't mind" I said.

Daryl shook his head and chewed on his fingernail. "Nah I don't mind at all besides it keeps ya away from Shane" Daryl said. I nodded my head and smiled at him. "Yeah it does and besides I really don't need you gettin hurt either so" I said.

Daryl chuckled and walked over to me and sat down. "Let me help ya sunshine besides you kinda missed a spot" Daryl said. I laughed and nodded my head as I let Daryl clean me up.

"Whats got your panties in a twist sunshine?" Daryl asked. I looked at Daryl and smiled even bigger than I have.

"You Dixon" I said.

[crazyvaleska]

Jump | Jerome Valeska

summary: Jerome's death from his point of view

warnings: suicide, blood, gore, intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts, implied self mutilation, death. i suggest you skipped this if you are sensitive to any of these topics. read at your own risk, you have been warned.

words: 2818

You know these moments where everything is good then you just get this sinking feeling out of the blue. Don't know where it came from, don't know how to get rid of it. Suddenly everything turns grey and it feels like your whole life has been nothing but melancholy and emptiness. Your brain erases all of your few happy memories, turns them into dust and tosses them away so you no longer have something positive to cling onto. Why does this keep happening? How suffocating it is to be trapped inside your own mind. To never be able to run from yourself. To be so bound of trauma you can't even help yourself. To get stuck in every room in your mind like an endless void and no one is coming to save you. Because you can't be saved, because nobody cares enough to understand. To understand you or your motives. Because in their eyes you always have been a horrible person who did horrible things and it's pointless trying to deny it over and over again so you just prove them right in the end.

I sprint up the stairs of an empty building. I'm running so fast it feels like my toes are being torn apart. These shoes may appear stylish and chic, but in reality they are so tight they've bruised my feet and I can just tell my ankle is now bleeding, they are a pain to wear.

Why are you whining like a baby, Jerome? Thought you were numb to pain.

Oh, screw you, give it a rest.

This wasn't supposed to happen, me being shot in the arm and having to rush up here. Damn you, Jimbo! So many stairs, they never seem to end. I climb and climb and climb and the unwanted thoughts come and come and come. They never stop coming. They're consuming me. They're eating my brain up. But this is fine, you're fine, you're, you're fine! It's okay, Jerome, you've finally reached the the final stair. There's a door right in front of me, probably leading towards the roof. Suddenly, I hear footsteps approaching. Oh shit, he's after me, I can tell. He's chasing me. No turning back now.

I run forward and push the door open. Uh-huh, I'm on the top of this clownhouse. Blood keeps pouring down my left arm although I've been holding it ever since I found those stairs. The bullet's stuck there, I need to get it out. Or do I? It hurts but I like the pain. Besides, this is nothing compared to what I've been through... I keep applying pressure to the wound with my right hand, my white glove now painted red.

Why are you doing that? You should just allow yourself to bleed out, who cares? That's right, no one does!

Maybe when I see blood splashing out of my every vien I'll be able to rest. I wanna swim in a pool of my own blood. I want my blood splattered everywhere when I cut my very own body into millions of pieces then I would plant the remains in the Garden of Eden. I want to rip my face out, can't stand those scars no more. They're itchy and irritating and perhaps suffocating. I scratch them all the time but that is never enough to make me feel something, it doesn't draw out enough blood.

But oh, the cold breeze felt so perfect while I was faceless. It felt like my flesh was being ripped out and torn apart, it felt like my flesh was melting and I couldn't do anything, I couldn't groan, I couldn't laugh, I couldn't talk, I couldn't even smile 'cause every inch of my face hurt and I kept swallowing my own salty, sticky, slimy, metallic, fresh blood. My, my, what a silly little dark and twisted memory even for someone like me. But that's my favorite fever dream. I wonder, if I pick up on my skin for long enough would I be able to pull my skin out again? What if I peeled it all off? Would it work the same way it did on my other body parts? Oh Jeez, this is sick. I am sick. I have always been.

Note to self: try skinning yourself alive next time you have an anger outburst.

I shudder as wander around, taking steps closer to the edge. Gordon should be here any moment now. I look down. There's a long, long way down. If I pushed Jimmy from up here he wouldn't survive. No one would, actually.

Jump.

What was that?

Jump.

Oh, stop it.

Jump.

They're back at it again.

Jump.

They won't ever let me rest.

Jump.

The voices.

Jump.

The intrusive thoughts.

Jump.

They send shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time. Such a foolish thing to think that I could ever be free. I'm not a whole person and I never will be. Parts of me died in the house I grew up in and I visit them in my dreams. They say time's supposed to heal you, but I ain't done much healing. 'Cause time is an illusion and so is hope. There is no hope, there is only delusion. Something inside of me has died and I can't bring it back to life. Every time I think a thought I get nauseous. I can't be cured of whatever this is. I can't be cured of being me. Sometimes it feels like I've got a war in my mind. They never leave me alone. They're funny and entertaining sometimes but right now they're bugging me out. Maybe hitting myself in the head with a brick would fix me. Haha! That was funny, I should add it to my to-do list. It would probably be more effective than setting my knees on fire.

Jump.

Shut up.

Jump.

So what if I jumped?

Jump.

Maybe I'll grow wings and fly...!

Jump.

Fly my way out of here.

Jump.

Fly among the beautiful butterflies.

Jump.

It can't be that bad, can it?

Jump.

Jump...

Jump!

I don't feel safe anywhere. I never did. Everybody's tryna hurt me. I always feel watched. All eyes are on me. Or at least Gordon's are, because he's here. I observe his every move. Uncertainty follows him everywhere. He's hesitant when he points his fire gun at me yet to anyone else it would look the other way round. "Hands up," he says. How the hell am I supposed to do that, jerk? You shot me! Boy he's got some nerves. I hate him so much I'm gonna chop off his fingers and put then in a blender, make a smoothie then serve it to him.

For a few seconds, maybe minutes even, ignorance takes control over my body. I don't say anything in return to him. I only look around while holding on the grip on my wounded arm. Everything is quiet up here, so quiet that my harsh breath and disturbing thoughts are the only things I can hear. I can see the whole city. All its glamour, all its elegance... yet, all its filth, all its arrogance, making me feel sicker than I already was. I must remind myself that all of this was to create a better version, if not the best, of Gotham. Doing it all for the city's sake. Isn't that so generous of me? Would you look at that! The blimp's flying in the air. It's filled with gas, my laughing gas. I cannot wait for everyone to get sprayed! Ah, it's going to be a true delight! Laughter will replace this deadly silence. They will all know what the inside of my mind looks like at last. They will understand. They will soon know what's it like not being able to control yourself, to control your thoughts, to control your actions. They will get a taste of what's it like to be completely aware you are slowly going insane yet not being able to stop yourself from getting worse, like you're watching yourself through a brick wall and you're unable to help yourself. They will experience the scariest thing about losing your mind: acceptance.

"Beautiful, isn't she?" I break the silence. Whoopsies, I had forgotten Jimmy was here. Man does he look puzzled! He hasn't moved an inch. He's going to fire his gun, eventually. There's no escape. There's no going back now. I must do what I originally intended to do.

"Just gimme a second," I say while dialling a number on a cell phone. For the record, it's not my phone ―I never got the hang of those― it's a phone I had stolen, duh. "Gotta call the pilot, tell him he's in position-" BANG! Gordon shoots my right hand and I can't help but grunt in pain and drop the phone. Savage. I never thought he had it in him. Eh, people change all the time don't they? "Not cool," I mumble reluctantly, though there's more to say but not enough words and definitely not enough time. Somehow, I can still hear the pilot speaking to me on the phone, "Yes, Jerome. Jerome? Jerome? I'm in position," but he wouldn't hear me if I replied. So I cackle because that's what I do best. It's probably more of an ironic chuckle since I now realize my plan is most likely going to fail too. But for some reason, I couldn't care less. I am failing once again. What else is new? I laugh because it makes people feel uneasy, makes me feel like I'm in control though I'm not. The look on James' face brings me pure joy. I have no idea what I'm doing, but he thinks I do and that's enough. What was I doing? And what's the point in doing anything, anyway? Maybe I should just give up. Give up on everything. Go ahead and give up like you always do, Jerome. Quit trying, that never worked out for ya. And even if the city won't get sprayed, dear ol' Jeremiah will. Made a special gas just for him. Wouldn't this be the perfect revenge? To turn him into the one thing he hates most: me. It's like killing him but worse. Because this way I kill the Jeremiah our mom has always loved. He will live but he'll be forced to carry out my plans and ideas. He will live as the monster he made everyone believe I was. He will live but he'll be dead all at once. So theoretically I will have killed my whole family and there's only one member left to murder: me.

Jump.

I could still do it.

Jump.

I could jump.

Jump.

End my bloodline.

Jump.

"It doesn't matter..." I cackle out.

Jump.

This is it.

Jump.

"...too late, anyway."

As my gaze softens, I now realize today is the day that I die. Today is the last day that I breathe. Today is the end, it's just a matter of how it's gonna happen. It's either he kills me or I do it myself. No, I won't give him that satisfaction. I'm not going to let him win. I'm going to jump before he gets the chance to shoot my brains out. I'm not scared, I'm calm. I don't fear death. I have died before but before I knew it I was back. No resurrections this time. I have been waiting for this very moment my whole life. Could, perhaps, everything go quiet once and for all? Could everything go quiet forever?

Jump.

I think I'm gonna do it.

Jump.

I think I'm gonna jump.

Jump.

But first...

"Bombs away!" I yell from the top of my lungs hoping the pilot can hear me. Ouch! That son of a bitch fired his gun again. The bullet hit my stomach this time, but it didn't kill me.

I grunt then laugh, I should've seen this coming. I swallow down my throat the urge to throw blood up, he mustn't see me weak. I spit out saliva instead. "Funny." It's funny because I'm aware I'm about to lose my balance and fall, although I was going to jump off anyway. So I was right, my death truly was inevitable. I lose control over my body as I collapse helplessly. I close my eyes and breathe in. It's happening and there's nothing I can do about it because I don't want to do anything about it. Right. Then why am I hanging on a pole for dear life. Survival instincts, I'm guessing. Why am I still holding on? Why can't I just let go? Why can't I just die already? I don't wanna do this anymore. I can't do this anymore. Nothing ever lasts forever. Euphoria and other emotions are temporary then are replaced by a choking feeling of emptiness. I rarely feel anything but when I do my emotions are so intense, I cannot keep up with them, making me do impulsive and reckless things, hurting everything and everyone around me, including myself.

I look up only to see him staring down at me. He could save me. He could save me from dying. But do I want to be saved? Do I need saving? No, I have made my decision.

"Quite the dilemma, Jim."

Death is my salvation.

"You gonna let me fall and die?"

But spending my last moments alive playing mind games with James Gordon seems like a great deal, giving him the impression he could be my saviour. It's funnier this way.

"Or are you gonna pull me up and arrest me? What's it gonna be?"

He won't wanna let me fall. He will want to pull me up. But I won't let him.

"Lawman or murder?"

I can't hold on much longer. Soon enough I will have to let go. Let go of everything. Jeez, isn't he predictable? He reaches out his hand for me to take.

"Ah." A hollow laugh escapes my lips. I'm going to spend my last moments alive snickering because what's the point in sinking in my own emotions, sinking in my own sadness again? Why should I let my guard down now and let him see me at my lowest? I'm only human, after all. Nope sir, I have to pretend it doesn't matter.

"Good ol' Gordon. Always playing by the rules. That's why I'll outlive you. That's why I'm loved 'cause I don't give a damn about the rules." Not sure about the last part tho, loved? Maybe, by other loonies. Understood? Not in a million years.

His pained expression speaks volumes right now. Deep down he wants me to fall down too, he would push me if he could, if he wasn't sane.

"It's a long way down." No shit, Sherlock. "You sure you'll outlive me?"

"Oh, I'm sure," because Jeremiah will take my place, " 'cause I'm more than a man. I'm an idea, a philosophy. And I will live on in the shadows within Gotham's discontent." Not sure where that speech came from but it does sound quite poetic. "You'll be seeing me soon. Au revoir." Well, I guess this is it. Time to push up the daisies. It's okay, it's fine. Just breathe. Breathe while you still can. You're fine, Jerome. You're fine, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine.

You're fine.

I wanna change my mind for a brief moment.

Woosh.

Failing.

Floating.

Flying.

Falling.

I did it. I let go. I am now falling and nothing seems real. My lungs are probably exploding right now and I feel like I've ran out of air. Everything happens so quickly yet so slowly at the same time. I want to scream but instead I laugh as my life flashes before my very own eyes. I get a glimpse of all the pain and suffering I had to endure and I'm glad this will soon be over. I laugh because I wanna die happy. I never truly felt happiness. Amusement, sure. But not happiness. Until now, when I will finally have received the sweet kiss of death. I am done with this war. I have done enough. I have enough blood on my hands. I don't need to prove anyone anything anymore. I can rest now.

At last, my back hits the ground and I take one final breath. My skull is crushed and the bullet stuck in my abdomen hurts more than ever as my vision gets blurry. I won't close my eyes, I wanna take a final glance at the blue sky. With my last strength I curve my scarred lips into the brightest smile I've ever smiled. A smile that will be frozen on my face forever. I hear the birds chirping while the cold wind blows and I lose the ability to move my muscles. Then everything turns black.

[shadow-laviko]

Maaan That's shit My parents are pressuring me to work (fairly okay), but at the same time, I can only work ONE SINGLE month total on the WHOLE year (otherwise I'd pay taxes because I "gain" too much money between work and what my parents give me for my rent, charges and groceries, etc...) I barely ever buy anything for myself. No games no cheap silly little things, I try to save up with the financial help of the state...

But, well, the problem is not that I don't want to work. Quite the opposite, because damn, I want to buy myself some games and merch from things I like Like, please, let me have a bit of joy in my friendless loser fucking life But I can't find a job, because, given I can only work one month on the whole year, it has to be consecutive (because I doubt anyone would employ me for just one fucking hour of work per week...) So, I can only work during the summer And, again, no probs with me But first one, it's already fucking hard to find a summer job for two months (I've tried to give CVs to retail jobs, fast foods, restaurants, campings... Basically everywhere I could give a CV, I did About half of the places I went to did not take my CV because they were "Not looking for employees/workers" And in the remaining half, ONE or TWO told me they would call be back... They never did. So now, imagine what the fuck would happen if I told them "Oh yeah, by the way, I can only work for one month, lol" Like, heck, I want to work. I genuinely do. But, nobody wants me?? And, fortunately I know I'm not the only one But with the parents who keep pressuring me to find a job... I don't know what to do Like. I can only work during summer, and even then, nobody wnats to employ me. I can't really do much better than trying and being refused. (I mean, technically speaking, I could threaten them, but, you know, that's not a thing you do...)

So like What the fuck do they want me to do (more) about it?? I don't even have any marketable skills like drawing or painting or something

Maybe I should really stick to eating salty pastas, that would reduce the grocery costs... But maaaan... Unless it's in my "favourite food" category, I can't fucking eat the same thing over and over every single day... I'd rather not eat *sigh* I really don't know what to do

Maybe I should do like some friends (jokingly?) said they were doing and sell foot pics lmao ... What's the market price for those? :thinking:

No but really I'm just I'm just gonna lay down like a stickman and stare at the ceiling. Maybe some fucking cosmic shit will invade my thoughts and give me an answer

[fan-burns]

Robots 2

Chapter 3: Rodney’s POV 4 years later…

"It’s nothing to worry about", I said. "It’ll be over in a month, I said!"

At the top of Bigweld Industries stands the main office, where all the business stuff happens. Parties happen up here too but that’s not what’s happening right now. I’m standing face to face with my boss, Bigweld, next to our desks. For years now, Ratchet became less of an evil murderer and more of a saint sent from Cog himself.

And we don’t. Know. Why.

“Well, Rodney, you know why I’ve called you up here. Give me your thoughts on this.”

If Bigweld was serious, then you know it’s bad. He handed me a copy of The Robot Times, on the front of it was an older picture of Ratchet with a halo edited onto it. Skimming through it, all I found was a bunch of nonsense about stocks, saving graces, and something about him being “The True High King of Robot City.”

I could feel my processor overheating just trying to understand it all, after everything that’s happened, after everything that he did, this is what happens now? I threw the blasted thing onto the table in frustration, I couldn’t look at it anymore.

“My thoughts? My thoughts?! I think this is just some big cruel joke! There are Outmodes, Outmodes! Who are praising his work without any hesitation! None! Hell, I even caught some of our own employees getting caught up in it!! I’ve had to fire at least fifteen bots this week because they’d be so caught up in the whole, “Ratchet’s done great deeds!'' and how “Bigweld is evil!” like it’s common knowledge!”

“Um, Rodney-”

“Oh, and let’s not forget the favorite, “Rodney is being controlled like everyone else! We have to save the poor boy!” LIKE I’M THE ONE WHO NEEDS SAVING!”

I slammed my fist into the desk, leaving behind a small dent. I felt something burning inside of me, like I was being fueled by fire instead of oil…I’m overheating again.

Bigweld must have known this, because he handed me a small cup of coolant. As I reached for it, I noticed the streams of smoke rising out of the seams of my arm. A sight that’s getting far too familiar with me. I never get this worked up unless it’s for a good reason. Being frustrated as to why everyone is suddenly promoting the bot who tried to kill them all is a good reason.

“I-I'm sorry sir, I’m just-”

“No, no, you're perfectly fine…I've been out of character myself.”

By the time I drank everything in the cup, the doors opened to reveal the two other members of our meeting. Cappy was the first to walk in, and beside her Harvey. This was the bot who gave me a set of legs when we couldn’t find a pair. He practically saved my life alongside Bigweld.

He was the first to speak, “I drove over here the moment I got your call. I would have arrived sooner if those damned cultists didn’t block the road here.”

I perked up at that, if they were starting to get violent, we could have a problem. “Wait, what? What happened?”

Harvey walked towards the head of the table and took a seat near Bigweld’s desk. He crossed his legs as he did so, and the three of us gathered closer.

“Well, I got your call after I had dismissed that last client of mine. You sounded distressed, so I figured I’d get here as fast as I could. You lot do know Roddy here is my favorite.”

As if on cue, I started to heat up. Harvey was always the social flirt, and while I do know that he’s joking, I still can’t help but blush a bit. I don’t think anyone can help it.

“Cutie aside," he went on, "I was about half way here when I was stopped by a roadblock. At first I thought it was the police investigating an accident, but I couldn’t see or hear any sirens. All I could hear was some sort of chanting.”

“Chanting?” Cappy questioned.

“It wasn’t really a “chant” per say, but it’s really the only way I can describe it. Anyways, there was this sound that they were playing, and it started to hurt-”

This time it was Bigweld who interrupted, “Wait, hurt? Hurt how? Like your processor was going to split apart?”

Harvey looked at him like he just solved all of the world’s problems with one answer, “Yes! It was like I was melting but coming back together again! It was cold and warm at the same time and-”

“Does it still hurt?” Bigweld interrupted again.

Harvey looked at him confused, “Well, somewhat. It’s a little better now…but that’s besides the point, something weird was happening, I freaked out, so I sped away and arrived here. I met Cappy in the elevator, and now we're here.”

I looked over to Bigweld to see if I could come to the same conclusion as him. He was terrified, as if he’d just see someone get ripped apart. Whatever Bigweld was thinking of, it couldn’t have been pretty or good.

Cappy must have known I was nervous, because it was her that broke the silence.

“Ok, so we’re dealing with some kind of noise, right? Like a white noise?”

Harvey got up from where he was sitting as Cappy continued.

“Maybe Ratchet’s got some weird noise generator that makes bots go crazy, it sounds like something he would do.”

I turned to her, “I thought about that too, but white noise is way too weak with today’s tech. Worst case scenario you could make everyone hop around on one leg for hours.”

Eventually Harvey gave his idea, although his tone seemed off as he described it. “What if this is something we’ve never seen before? I mean think of it, the Chop Shop is probably filled with criminals and illegal technologies, it wouldn’t be past someone like Ratchet to use them like this. He’s a violent narcissist, so he’d want back in the picture. However, since he’s a criminal, he has to be sneaky about this”

Harvey’s familiar with detective and profile work and knows the law like the back of his fancy hand, so naturally he’ll go all out with trying to figure this whole thing out, regardless if he isn’t the best at it. Despite this, he didn't sound confident in his idea. Instead he seemed...nervous. It was like he was hiding something, but that didn't make sense. Maybe he was tired?

He continued, “B-But if Ratchet has to be sneaky about this, why is he making it so obvious that he’s behind this? Did something go wrong? Does he want us to know? I profiled him as a careful, manipulative narcissus who’s too cowardly to act! He’s acting completely out of character!”

“I don’t think this is Ratchet.” Bigweld interrupted yet again, “I think he’s got a partner, someone who’s smarter than him. If this really is what I think it is, then we’re in danger.”

Danger? Again? I turned to him, “What do you mean, “danger”? We’ve beat him before, so we can-”

“No, Rodney. We can’t beat him without proper planning this time. We can’t use your “Run ‘n Gun” method. We need to be careful.”

“Sir, I don’t understand.”

“I think we’re dealing with something huge...like an EMP.”

Silence. Cold, dead silence.

An EMP? A fairy tale that’s been told over and over again? That’s what’s going on?

After who knows how long, Harvey was the first to speak, but again he seemed off about it. His words were condescending but his tone seemed to be that of relief. “A-An EMP? Don’t be ridiculous, sir! That’s just an old bots tale!”

Bigweld turned to him with a glare, “I am telling you, that is what we’re dealing with! There isn’t a doubt in my mind! There’s only one peice of technology that can do something like this!”

Not sure what to do, I tried to talk to Bigeld, “Sir, please, Harvey has a point, and-”

“I’ve been working on technology long enough now, and I know exactly what that noise is!”

Cappy chimed in, “Then what is it then?”

“It’s the EMP itself”, Bigweld explained, “It sends a series of signals that damage the critical thinking components of the brain module. Once these parts are damaged, the EMP takes its place and function, and alters the way a bot processes and perceives the world around them.”

He then turned from her to face all of us at once. “It even has the capability to alter a bot’s relationships and beliefs, without anyone knowing. Not even the bot themself is aware of it. Whoever sends out the signal is now in control of that bots entire life.”

I’ve heard plenty of those phony horror stories of EMPs from my mom whenever we went camping, but I never knew they could do all of that. But those are just stories!

Cappy gave her accurate stance on the situation, “This is crazy, I mean if this thing is even real, what are we supposed to do? If it can control anyone then..."

She looked around the room, as if accusing one of us of being controlled by Ratchet. “Then who can we trust?”

Cappy had a point, but I know her, she’s never the paranoid type. She’s going somewhere with this. Cappy continued, “While I sincerely doubt that Ratchets using some...mind control ray thing, we can’t exactly rule it out. It's more likely that they have something similar to it. I say we put a list together, a list that shows us who’s the most vulnerable to tech like this just in case. That way we can know who to keep an eye on in case something happens.”

Bingo. She’s planning ahead.

“Brilliant as always, Cappy,” Bigweld said, “Let’s start with ourselves, then move onto the others. Rodney and I will compile a list for the other employees after the meeting.”

With Bigweld’s nod of approval, Cappy began her analysis. "If Ratchet’s big plan is to eventually come out of hiding, then Bigweld, Rodney, and I are at the most risk. While we’d rather die than help Ratchet, we’re still targets to him.”

The thought of Ratchet going after Cappy was enough to get my engine to spew flames. He’d harassed her enough when he was in charge of the company, but if he was in charge of the whole city? And with no one to ever question or rebel against him? Absolutely not. I could and will fight him should it come to that. Then again, Cappy would probably do a better job of kicking his aft than me, but that’s not the point.

“What about me?” Spoke Harvey, “He’d probably go after someone in a position of power like mine. I may not be a judge anymore, but I could still be an asset to him.” he spoke hastily.

Cappy answered his query with a nod, “You're right, just about everyone who's with Rodney is a target. Even the Wonderbot could be at risk.”

I had to object, “He wouldn’t waste time with them. To him, they’re just a pet of mine.”

The Wonderbot was more than that, obviously. Their like our own child. Cappy loves them, I love them. Everyone loves them! They’re a loving, kind, fun loving little trinket that-

“Wait, didn’t they kill Madam Gasket?” Bigweld recalled.

Oh right, they did do that. They’re into murder too...I keep forgetting about that.

“Regardless," Cappy interrupted. "It’s safe to say everyone whoever works here is at risk.”

Once Cappy finished, I took the stage for the next step. “Alright, how about focusing on who can fight this thing? Any names come to mind?”

Startled by this, Bigweld intervened, “Rodney, no one can resist an EMP. That’s how they work!”

I stared back at him, “You seem to know a lot about these EMPs, there has to be something we can use against it? We can’t just quit!”

He let out a heavy sigh and brought me in closer. He didn’t attempt to hide what he was saying though, there wouldn’t be any benefit in hiding something from us. “Look Rodney, there is something we could potentially use, but it’s not a guarantee, it might not even be a thing anymore. A long time ago when I was a boy, I saw what these things can do first hand when some lunatic created his own. It didn’t take the lights out, but it managed to put a few bots offline for weeks. I was near that place when it happened, yet nothing seemed to happen to me. I was fine, the device was eventually scrapped, and everyone went back online.”

“Then there is something we can do!" I exclaimed. "What did you do? Did you have any special parts? A strong Anti-virus? A metal hat?!”

“Nothing!" He half laughed. "The signal just couldn’t reach me! Those generators can only cover so much land before the signal starts to weaken. Where I was at, it couldn’t reach me. I only got lucky with a tiny one. Imagine what an EMP large enough to cover a city could do, how much ground it could cover. That’s why we need to exercise extreme caution and face the facts. There is no surefire way to resist it. Not that we know of at least.”

It was the best and worst thing we could use, but it was all we had now. We still didn’t know how this signal was being put out there, or where it’s coming from. Hell, we don’t even know if this thing is even real. Regardless, we had to try it. It might be the only thing that gives us a fighting chance should Ratchet actually be crazy to build one.

“We have to try it. It’s our only shot.”

I could tell that he doubted me, but to be fair he had a point. These things were, well, scary as hell. If Ratchet did have one that could control others, Cog knows what would happen. He may have his doubts, but he clearly trusts me, and he gave me a nod of approval before giving me some space.

I started again, “Ok, so the signal can only go so far. We have no idea how big this thing is, if it even exists, so we’ll have to focus on the things that we do know. Who do we think would be vulnerable to being mind controlled?”

Everyone gave themselves a minute to think, then Harvey had a good idea. “What about Lug? He’s a pretty big guy, maybe that physical strength translates to psychological strength too?”

Bigweld teased the idea, “You might be onto something, there.”

“How about Piper? She’s not going down without a fight if she can help it.” Cappy replied.

“Good thinking,” I replied, “But Piper only turned eighteen last week, she still needs her adult mental components. Age could be a factor in this too.”

"Then she should still be able to fight it, " Cappy argued. "Since she's healthier than, say, someone like Jack."

Bigweld rolled to all three of us, “Hold on, let’s write this down somewhere. Rodney and I will put it down on our computers. Harvey and Cappy, I’ll get something physical for you two to write this down on. If our computers are sabotaged, then we’ll have two other copies of it.”

“Good idea, sir,” Harvey smiled, “I’ll keep mine safe in my…well, safe!”

“I’ll keep mine locked in the dresser at home. Rodney, I’ll put the key in your arm chest thing.”

“You mean my arm component?” I quizzed her, annoyed that she forgot the name of them again.

“Yeah, that. One of them.”

I heard Bigweld clear his throat, calling our attention, “Well then, I say we get started!”

And like that, Bigweld and I ran to our computers while Cappy and Harvey took their seats closest to our desk. Surely we can all come up with something in a timely manner right?

…

After another hour or so, we managed to group our friends into who’s vulnerable and who has a chance of fighting this EMP, and maybe even throwing hands with Ratchet while we’re at it.

Lug, Piper, Cappy, Bigweld, Harvey, Aunt Fan, and myself were most likely to have a chance to fight it off. We figured that Fender, Diesel, Loretta, Wonderbot, and Crank could be the most vulnerable to the signals, so we’d have to prioritize them first. Once we got our friends out of the way, we had to move on to the employee list. There were easily thousands of robots who worked here, maybe even more. It would take us months to sort through them all, so we had to narrow the list down to the robots who had some of the more important jobs such as security and economics. Overall, most of the essential staff were vulnerable, with only a handful having some sort of hypothetical resistance or fighting spirit. Sorting everyone into categories was going to take forever though, so myself and Bigweld would have to sort everyone else when we have more time. I had a suspicion that practically everyone would be affected by this thing.

So we’re pretty scraped at this rate, but it’s cool. This is fine. I'm fine with the events that are currently unfolding.

Bigweld got out from his seat at his desk, and waved a hand. Exhaustion laced his voice. “Alright, we’ve done all we can for right now. Tomorrow, we’ll get everyone on board to help us come up with a plan. For right now, let’s just head home. I bet you’re all exhausted.”

And with that, the meeting was adjourned until tomorrow. He rolled his way to the door, and looked back. “Stay safe, all. Oh, and Rodney, don’t forget to lock up before you leave!”

"Right, will do, sir.” I responded blankly.

I hardly looked up from my computer screen. We barely got anything done. Had we known about this EMP thing earlier, we’d gotten more done. How the hell are we gonna do this? I still have so many questions, and we have no time for answers. The longer we wait, the closer Ratchet gets to completing his “master plan”, whatever that was. Right now, all we know is that he may or may not have some sort of EMP signal. If he really does have one, then how did he get something like that in the first place?! What can we do to block the signal? Wrap some tinfoil hats and put them on our heads? Bigweld mentioned something about having been near one, what happened? Why is he-

“Rodney!”

“Ahh! What’s happening?! Is he here?! Where is he?! Let me at ‘em! I’ll steal his leg!!” Panicked and slightly dazed I started swinging my fists around me, not knowing what was going on. Static had taken a hold of my vision, so I couldn't see clearly.

“No, no, it’s fine! It’s me, Cappy! Calm down!” She carefully slid her hands onto my shoulders, causing me to freeze. I had to rub my eyes to clear the static, how long have I been staring at my computer? How long was I thinking for?

“Sorry, sorry...Um, What were you saying, Caps?”

“I’m heading home," She said again. "Harvey left a couple of minutes ago. Something about a client he had. Did you want to come home with me?”

I thought for a moment, and I really wanted to say yes, but then I remembered how little we got done. Then I thought about how much that needed to be done yet. Then I thought about the possibility of something happening here while we’re gone for the night. What if he tries something tonight? I can’t risk it.

“No, I…I think I’ll stay here for a bit. Just in case.”

She sighed like she normally did when she wasn’t entirely satisfied with an answer, and leaned over the desk. “Alright, but if you need a ride, I’ll come back.”

“It’s fine, I can get home on my own, I can catch a taxi. You head back and get some sleep.”

She smiled a little, which just made me feel worse about leaving her. Regardless, she gave me a kiss and went out the door to the elevator. Leaving me here to myself. I turned back to the screen, and went back to work.

I had a theory, but I have no idea if it’ll work. If the EMP is an electromagnetic signal, then perhaps the Magnetizers could disrupt the signal. Of course, I don’t have a degree in physics or engineering, but I do know someone who does. If this crazy theory of mine is right, then we’d have a shot at taking Ratchet down if this is his plan. As I typed down the theory for tomorrow, I thought about how I could test it without harming anyone or making ourselves look like the bad guys. Robots already see us as some big bad guy, so injuring anyone in another accident would only give Ratchet more leverage. I’ll have to talk to Bigweld about all of this, he’s had more experience with these EMP things then any of us. Even if he’d never interacted with it, he’s our biggest resource right now. I’ll type it down and move on to the list, I’ve got a lot to do before I leave for home.

This is gonna take a while.

[manjiropie]

@mitsuyayang here's part II of "until hell freezes over". I loved this thing. be aware of the warning once again <3

warnings: toxic parents, violence, death, strong language, guns.

--------------

4 years later.

time goes by fast indeed. graduated high school last year and I've got a little apartment I share with Ran and Rindou. we're not rich, but it's something, right?

dad's long gone. from now on we won't hear of this man again. he even seemed to show a bit of emotion, "Thank God you're leaving this place. Never felt happier my whole life."

it's still sort of a hard task taking care of two younger siblings even though they're not kids anymore. to have money to live, I kind of got carried away and did some foul stuff back then... I was young and getting myself involved with bad people only to save money for the future.

I've left this old life behind, now I look for new beginnings. it's hard to, I'll confess. and not everyone that you were involved with will like the idea. but I just can't keep hiding this part of me when I'm around my brothers. I'm pretty sure they'll find out later, if they hadn't already.

it's thursday and I got a call.

I left my brothers at home to meet an old friend. Drago. an ex boyfriend from high school, a motherfucker. a big piece of shit he was to me for two years. we broke up when I brought this matter to the gang I was in at the time, saying I wasn't going to keep doing that and I wanted to leave. now he wants to meet. can't say I'm not nervous.

~

"So you came." his smug smile was there, as always.

"Why did you call me?" I cross my arms.

"Damn, straight to the point..." he smirked. I wonder how could I have fallen in love with that. "Always so feisty, I loved that about you."

I leaned against the wall, emotionless.

"Babe... we can work it out..." he got closer to me, brushing his red hair behind his shoulders.

"Don't lay a fucking finger on me."

he looked at me in disbelief. I could see it in his eyes that he was intoxicated. whatever it was, he had taken a big amount. it wasn't unusual of him to do that. I'd grown used to it when we were together. another mistake.

"I see you've grown your own tongue now. How's that, uh?" he snickered.

"I don't want anything to do with you anymore, leave me alone." I turn around to leave but he grabs my wrist roughly and pulls me to him, chest to chest. his face so close I could feel his cigarette breath on me.

"You don't get to walk away from me when I'm-"

"Take your hands off of her."

"Oh, look who's here to save the day!" Drago amused. "Just like a movie, the young child come to same the big one. How cliché of you. Get the fuck out of here before you two die."

I turn my head around and both my brothers stand there. why?

Then I feel something cold hit my waist and Drago's arm around my neck. I see the others tense up.

"Leave, this ain't got nothing with you." Drago's raspy voice sent chills down my spine and at that moment I remembered how he'd treat me when we were together.

"She's our sister." Ran mumbles.

"Another word I'll kill her right now." he tapped the tip of the gun up and down my waist, like a fucking maniac.

"Let her-" Rindou stepped forward but was interrupted by a loud sound. Silence. then another loud sound. then another.

"Stop!" someone screams.

I don't feel anything at first, I just fell to the ground and feel my body get warm. a throbbing pain hits my sides and my legs. my ears are buzzing but I can hear some faint shouting.

"I didn't mean to shoot! I told you to fuck off!"

"Three times?!"

"What have you done?"

"Tsuki! Tsuki! Tsuki, look at me."

Ran is holding my head. I feel that. his hand are larger than Rin's. he places my head on his lap. I hear footsteps in the distance.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! it's my fault he fired! I'm sorry!"

"Shut up, Rindou! Call an ambulance or something." my eyes spin to the back of my head. "No, no, no, look here. Tsuki, we're here! It's me and Rindou! We're here with you, ok? Nothing bad will happen to you, okay?"

my chest tightens and I cough. my eyes aren't so blurry anymore and I see Ran brushing my hair out of my face. I'm sweating. then Rindou appears in the picture, he's standing behind Ran, he holds his face on his hands.

" Did you call the ambulance?"

" Mhm." Rindou nods.

-

I wake up feeling drugged, the room smells... hospital-ish. I can't see anything. I can't feel anything. my eyes are closed. I try to open them but I can't. my limbs don't move.

" I'm sorry, Tsuki... I tried to protect you, but I... "

" It wasn't your fault, Rindou, how many times we'll go through this?"

"If I hadn't opened my mouth, maybe she'd still be awake!"

"Maybe... maybe... stop moping around! It wasn't your fault, goddammit!"

I hear my brothers arguing. I try to reassure Rindou that it's not his fault, that son of a bitch would do it sooner or later, he'd never accept our relationship coming to an end. but I can't. why can't I?

" If there's someone to blame, that's me," now it's Ran speaking. " I eavesdropped her conversation and told you she'd be going there that day."

silence.

" It's not our fault, we weren't the ones that shot her."

Rindou clicked his tongue. I couldn't see anything, yet I knew it was him. he was the only one that did that when he was feeling contradicted.

" I just... "

" It's been three years, Rindou." Ran raises his voice. " We can't keep her plugged to these machines."

Rindou gasps.

three years?

" I cannot believe they want us to even consider that!" Rindou said and I could tell he was rolling his eyes.

" They've brought it up since last month. Do you think she'd like to live the rest of her life plugged to a fucking outlet?"

" They just told us to decide whether we'll turn her off or not, and you talk about it so calmly? Are you even listening to yourself?"

" Do you think I like it, Rindou? Do you think I enjoy coming here after three years, hoping helplessly that someday she'll wake up?" I hear sniffing. " They say she's paraplegic, if she wakes up, do you think she'll like it to be in a shitty wheelchair for the rest of her life? Try to put yourself in her place! You know my sister just as much as I do, Rindou. You know how she'd hate it to the core. It hurts me much, if I had a choice to bring her back, I would! But I don't know how!"

more silence. as if they're considering options. I force my hands to move and reach up to the them. I can not.

" Let's do it then." Rindou concludes.

Ran is crying. I hear a chair moving, then someone whispering something over my head, at last, a door closing. it had been a while I've seen him cry. anyways, why would time matter now? what is going on? I don't know. but it sounds like they're in pain. I just wanted to tell them I loved them one more time.

I swore it myself to protect Ran and Rindou until hell freezes over.

void

/void/

adjective

2. completely empty.

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

This story takes place during the summer of 1987. It’s the time of the Cold War, and heavy metal, and Just Say No.

Ten chapters, each with a specific song as its soundtrack.

I’m so excited to finally share it with you.

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Also posted at AO3

—-

Chapter 3: Dancing On Glass

I've been through hell // And I'm never goin' back // To dancing on glass // Going way too fast...

Need one more rush // Then I know, I know I'll stop // One extra push // Last trip to the top...

Soundtrack: “Dancing On Glass,” Mötley Crüe, 1987 [click here to listen]

Three P.M.

Group.

Claire’s hands wrapped around the hard sides of the plastic chair, holding herself upright, watching about two dozen fellow patients? inmates? addicts? shuffle into the room.

Two people stood at the door – greeting others as they entered, handing out small packets of tissues and bottles of Coke.

Today’s facilitator – a middle-aged, bearded man – stood to one side, chatting with a few people.

“Hey!”

Claire startled – and turned to her right to see Jamie slide into the chair beside her.

“How’s it going today? Day two, right?”

She nodded. “Met with my therapist this morning.”

“That’s great! Who’ve you got?”

“Gillian.”

Jamie cracked open a bottle. “Oh, she’s great. Been here a long time. She’s married to the director – did you know that?”

Claire’s eyebrows raised. “No, but that’s really interesting.”

Jamie gulped about half the bottle in one shot. “Yeah. We owe everything to them.”

“Yeah, well. I got assigned to dinner set-up duty.”

He beamed. “Great! I’ve been on that rotation for the last few weeks. I’ll show you all the ropes.”

“Few weeks? How long have you been here, if you don’t mind me asking?”

He set down his Coke. “I don’t. And I’ve been here eight weeks. The best eight weeks of my fucked-up life.”

“Don’t say that,” she chided. “Surely everything can’t be so terrible.”

He stared at her for a long moment.

“It can be, if you were the reason why a sold-out European tour couldn’t happen, and it cost your backers and buddies tens of millions of dollars, and it pissed off countless thousands of fans.”

Now the greeters took their seats within the circle.

“Couldn’t, or didn’t?” Claire hoped her words were gentle, but when her head split with pain like this she could never tell. “And what do you mean by ‘tour’?”

His eyes narrowed. “Couldn’t. My manager said I’d come back from Europe in a body bag. He’s a bloodsucker but he had enough sense to not kill the golden goose.” He finished his Coke in one long gulp – flexing the tattoos swirling on his forearm and elbow. “And I’m a professional musician – in case you couldn’t guess from the way I look.”

“I see.”

He grinned. “How about that – someone who doesn’t recognize me.”

She folded her hands in her lap, closing her eyes against the pain, so desperately wanting to disappear. “I guess between medical school, and being a surgeon, and my ex-husband…and the pills…there are a lot of things I haven’t paid attention to.”

“Hey.” Softly he reached out to touch her knee – and she looked up at him.

“I’m not making fun of you, Claire. It’s just…I don’t know. Refreshing.”

She smiled tightly.

The facilitator clapped his hands. “Everyone – are we ready?”

People around the circle nodded, and the man sat down in the last empty chair.

“Great. Well, hi everyone. For those of you who don’t know me – I’m Murtagh. Been clean for just about eleven years now. Before that I spent a small fortune that I didn’t have – ”

“ – on enough blow to kill an elephant,” Jamie and several others chorused.

Murtagh smiled. “Wiseasses. Now – today’s topic is: clarity.”

“Can you be more specific?” A heavyset, bearded man across the circle piped up.

“You mean – provide more clarity?” Geneva snickered from somewhere near Jamie.

“Easy,” Murtagh interjected. “And yes, Rupert, of course. What I mean is: something I hear a lot from people here is that being away from substances gives them clarity for the first time in years. Clarity of thoughts – meaning, you’re logical and rational. Clarity of judgment – meaning, you feel like you are empowered to make good decisions. And overall, clarity to step away from all the bullshit that the substances made you do, or made it easier for you to do, and say – damn, what the hell was I doing?”

Across the circle, Rupert nodded. “OK. Oh – hi everyone, I’m Rupert, and I’m an alcoholic. Yeah – I can definitely relate. I wanted to not have clarity, so that I didn’t have to think about how much I was screwing up my job, and my marriage.”

“Good,” Murtagh praised. “And now that you can’t avoid it – how do you feel?”

Rupert stroked his thick beard. “Like shit. I love Scarlet so much, and I fucked it all up. I understand that now.”

“I feel the same way,” Jamie added. “Hi, I'm Jamie, and I'm an alcoholic, too. I drank because I’ve always felt so responsible for everything going on in my band – because I’m the guy that brought us together, and I’m the guy who writes the songs, and I’m the guy who’s across the table from the record company executives, advocating on our behalf.” He bounced a long, thin, jean-clad leg rapidly up and down. “I felt like I was being used, and that I was the only one who cared. I felt that really clearly. So I drank to…to avoid that clarity.”

Claire carefully watched the others around the circle. What Jamie was sharing could make any one of them a quick buck – all it would take was one phone call to a tabloid. But everyone was listening raptly – clearly thinking about parallels in their own lives – and it began to dawn on her that Jamie had one thing she didn’t have much of for herself: respect.

“And then when I drank, I’d just get really mean,” he continued. “I’d say things to rile up my drummer. I had a fling with my manager’s girlfriend, just to fuck with him. And yeah, I’d destroy hotel rooms.”

“Your reaction was to want to hurt people,” Murtagh said gently. “You had had clarity – clarity that you were shouldering too much, for too many people – and you reacted by wanting to push them away.”

“Yeah.” Claire spoke without thinking. “Um – hi everyone, I’m Claire, and I’m addicted to pills. Halcions, mostly.”

“Oh, those are the best,” a woman to Claire’s left remarked.

“Hey – no positive talk,” Murtagh interjected. “You know better than that, Letitia.”

Letitia huffed.

Murtagh turned back to face Claire. “Tell us more, Claire, if you’re comfortable?”

Now that she’d started, she couldn’t stop. “I was – am – a trauma surgeon for an emergency room. I love it – I love the adrenaline of it, and of course being able to help people on the worst day of their lives. I love being able to heal people. But…but it’s pretty heavy stuff. People die, no matter how hard you try to save them. People wake up and they’re not happy that they don’t have a leg anymore – and I say, would you rather be dead?”

“And you wanted to get away from that?” Jamie asked gently.

She closed her eyes. “I had to have clarity to do my job properly – it’s hard to describe, but it’s like having a laser focus on what’s in front of you. Getting in the zone. Shutting out everything else. And then when it’s all done – I would crash. The whole world would come rushing back, and I’d be covered in someone else’s blood and barely able to sit down before I had to work on the next person. That was so, so hard to deal with.”

“I understand.” Claire opened her eyes – it was an older man speaking right next to Jamie. “Hi everyone – I’m Ned, I’m a lawyer and crack addict, and there are a lot of jokes I’m sure you could make based on that.”

Claire managed a small smile.

“I’m a defense attorney – I’m that guy you see on TV arguing in a courtroom and presenting to a jury. I totally get what Claire said, because I needed to have that kind of really focused clarity, too. It was kind of like acting – I had to remember my argument, and I had to present it to the jury, and I had to pick up on cues from them to see how well I was doing. And then afterward I’d just crash. But I still had to have energy to prep for the next day, and that’s where Miss Crack came in.”

“So what I’m hearing is that clarity is something you already had – and then you turn to substances to get away from it.” Murtagh folded his arms. “Because it’s hard to flip that ‘off’ switch. And then eventually, the substances change from being something to take a vacation from that clarity, to completely blocking out that clarity altogether.”

“Exactly.” It was easier for Claire to focus on Murtagh than the sea of faces surrounding her. “And it’s a deliberate choice. I’m sure, Ned and Rupert and Jamie, that you deliberately sought out something to prevent that clarity. I know I did – I wrote the prescriptions for the pills that I consumed.”

Rupert nodded. “The bottle didn’t pick itself up and pour the liquor down my throat. And you’re right, Claire – at first, at least, it was a conscious decision. Until it became something I had to depend on.”

“I think that there are ways for this to happen more positively.” A woman seated beside Rupert quietly spoke. “Oh – hi, everyone, I’m Marsali, and I’m an alcoholic. What I mean is, there are ways to flip that ‘off’ switch that aren’t so…destructive. You can go for a run. Listen to music. Cook a meal. Watch a movie. Make love to your significant other.”

Murtagh nodded. “Marsali brings up a good point here. I’ll repeat something that I’ve already told many of you before, because it bears repeating. Substance addiction is addiction, first and foremost. All of us are here because our brains are hard-wired for addiction. We can’t change that. But we can change what it is that we’re addicted to.”

“Like what?” Letitia had calmed down a bit, but clearly she was skeptical.

“Whatever works for you,” Murtagh shrugged. “Jiu Jitsu. Flower Arranging. Reading. Playing the drums. Writing. Riding motorcycles. Not all addictions are bad – we just need to find the addictions that help us, and don’t hurt us or the people around us.”

Everyone’s heads nodded in agreement, quietly reflecting.

“So – that’s my homework assignment for all of you.” Murtagh pulled a small spiral notebook from his pocket, flipped to a fresh page, and began scribbling in it. “To think about the thing that you can become positively addicted to. Something you already enjoy, or something you’ve never done before. But I hope that even just thinking about it will give you focus. Improve your clarity.”

“Got it,” Ned said quietly.

Murtagh flipped back to an earlier page in his notebook. “Now – I have here my notes from the last time I facilitated Group. OK if I start going around and asking people for follow-up thoughts to those? Rupert?”

Rupert nodded, and began to speak.

“Facilitators take turns hosting Group every fourth day.” Claire started a bit, but held steady as Jamie leaned in close, spoke quietly into her ear. “We talk about things, and we’re assigned homework, and then the next time the facilitator is back we talk about it.”

“Thanks,” Claire murmured.

Jamie didn’t pull away. “If you ever just want to talk…”

She swallowed. “Thanks. I do. I just – it’s a lot to process.”

“It is. But you’ll get there. Talk more at our dinner prep.”

With that he pulled back, and a low buzz settled somewhere between Claire’s ears as the people around her chimed in to the conversation.

[acklesterritory]

That Kind of Love Never Dies_Chapter 1

Hey guys, Now that more voted to split my fictions in 2 parts, I'm back with the first part. I hope you like it. Don't forget to leave me feedbacks. I'll always appreciate them. Love you all.

This is for writing event @tvdspngirl314

My quote is "That kind of love never dies"

Dean x Reader series (just 2 parts)

This chapter words: ~5k

Series warning:

Angst, fluf, smut, angry Dean, hurt Reader, hurt Dean, there's some more but I hate spoilers so I insist on "Angst & Hurt"

It all started with a stupid argument at home. What was it? Three months ago? Sam couldn't remember the exact date but after years, it was the first time this awkward coldness between Dean and Y/n had started to build. He could remember the first time he and his brother came across Y/n like it was yesterday, they were hunting a very nasty creature who used to kidnap young and lonely women at night, then got them wrapped in ropes and ties on a bed in a warehouse to rape, torture and feed on their blood until the victim either died or accepted to turn into one of his kind.

Sam could remember the helplessness in people's eyes too. The pain of the victims' families, the frustration and anger on cops' faces when no one could find the criminal yet, even after the sixth missing girl.

"Sammy, he just kidnapped another girl. And I think I know where he's gonna take her. Let's hunt this son of a bitch."

When Dean was saying that, Sam never expected him to fall in love with the woman they would save that night. Well, unfortunately they weren't fast enough to prevent any harm to the girl. When they arrived and Dean killed the nasty creature, Y/n was almost dead. The monster had already raped her, tortured her … and when he felt the hunters enter the place, he drank almost all of her blood, to gain more energy to fight. So as always, Dean was up to blaming himself. Of course only in his own eyes, not anyone else's.

"Call Cas to come home. Tell him it's an emergency."

Dean told his brother when he finally could get Y/n out of those ropes. And Sam knew he was right. At that point, no one could save Y/n unless God or his angels. Maybe she was not so lucky coming across a nasty supernatural creature like that but she was lucky enough that Cas arrived just on time and healed her. However, angels can only heal physical wounds. But Y/n was hurt much more than that. She couldn't just move on from the things that the bastard had put her through. Even after Cas tricked her brain to forget some certain things, she still had bad nightmares and had this dark shade of hopelessness in her eyes. Soon, she started to eat and talk less and less. And Dean just couldn't let her go. He really wanted to fix all of that for her but she kept shutting him out… until the depression hit her. It was so bad that Cas felt the need to tell them to prepare themselves for her death. Because after all those days and unlike everything else in their lives, The Winchesters were already used to her presence around them; like the way a lonely person can get used to a wounded cat more and faster than anyone else.

"I'm not gonna hunt until I'm sure she can live her normal life." When Dean stated that, Sam really thought he was joking. But after a few days he started to believe it. Dean truly would do anything to keep her alive. From cooking vegetables to laughing at his own dad jokes in front of Y/n to make her smile. That was when Sam started to feel that they can be more than a random hunter/rescued victim relationship! It felt like his brother had finally found his motivation in life: "Saving Y/n."

Gradually Y/n started to respond to this special attention from Dean with trust and smiles. Soon they became a power couple that could motivate each other so easily that sometimes Charlie would call them out. And honestly Sam had no problem with it. In fact Y/n had become his other sister.

"My God, Dean! You're burning up!" It was two day after a werewolf hunt in which Dean had got hurt. At first it was just some scratches on his arms and chest. Yet as the time passed, more symptoms started to appear: headache, pain, fever, cold sweat, even nose bleeding and before they could figure it out, Dean fell unconscious. Apparently the claws of the werewolf were poisonous. However Sam wasn't sure. The only thing he got no doubts about was the fact that it was already too late. Dean couldn't make it to the hospital. So either Sam had to do anything possible to save him or Cas should've picked up his God damn phone.

"No. no, no, no, no. Dean … Dean!!!"

That was when Sam got to hear Y/n's helpless cry and see her true feelings. She was already in love with his brother.

Luckily, unlike typical love stories; no one died that night. Sam's antidote worked. And Dean opened his eyes an hour later.

"Sammy … Y/n?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Y/n grabbed his face and put her thirsty lips on her beloved hunter's, letting the tears stream down on her face… and then his.

"Never do that again." She begged, breaking the kiss, her trembling hands holding Dean's face so she could look into his eyes.

Sam couldn't stop his smile remembering how cute they were. Y/n literally had Dean wrapped around her little finger, to the point he accepted to teach her how to hunt and soon she was part of their team too. Until … a few months ago. After two years of them being constantly close to each other, Sam could tell something was off when Dean started to go out without eating breakfast with Y/n. Of course she got suspicious after the third time and that was when their endless arguments started.

"Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?"

"Because nothing is wrong, Y/n."

Actually there was. Something was VERY wrong. Anyone could tell that just by the change in Dean's eyes whenever he wanted to look at Y/n. Day by day he was getting more quiet and cold. Now they didn't even eat pie together or watch movies late at night. And Sam couldn't ignore his brother being grumpy or drunk on hunts, not anymore.

"Ok man, I've had enough. You either tell me what's wrong with you or next time I won't make any excuses so you can leave Y/n out of our hunt plans. I'm serious, Dean, I'll tell her the truth." He finally said, when they were alone in the impala, on their way to do their next hunt.

"She wants more."

"More?"

"Yeah. Sometimes it's like she sees more in me. She thinks we can have a different life. There's no need for any saying, I can see it in her eyes whenever we accidentally come across some family at a diner that try to feed their kids or people's wedding photos whenever we go to talk with some witnesses or whoever during the research! Sometimes she even looks up wedding dresses or kid stuff on the net!" Dean blew his anger out of his nostrils and sighed, shaking his head.

"Wow." Sam couldn't find the proper word to say but he couldn't hide his surprised face either.

"What?" Dean gave him an annoyed look.

"I mean …" Sam chuckled. "… are you telling me you're actually angry with her for imagining the things you always dream about?!"

"Sam …"

"No, really. I'm just curious. What's wrong with you, man?" Sam asked genuinely, waiting for an answer.

"What's wrong with me?! You think something is wrong with me just because I'm the rational one in this relationship; who's actually able to see the difference between a dream and the reality?"

Yeah, anyone could take that earnest speech, but not Sam. He'd seen and knew enough about his brother.

"What's the reality? Aren't you and Y/N living that dream life already?"

"What?! No. No … that's not the same." Dean shook his head.

"Really? How is it not? It's been two years, Dean. You two are constantly with and/or around each other. Always worried when the other one is in trouble and still looking at one another like there is nothing in the world that can make you happy as much as this relationship. So … excuse me if I won't buy your pretty speech; man ." Sam said, Rolling his eyes.

"Ok, let's say you're right but ... is it gonna be like that forever? With all the supernatural crap that we have to take care of … and the constant danger and chaos in this hunter life we have… I …"

"You what?" Sam asked when Dean didn't finish his sentence. He was lost in his thoughts, staring at this unknown point in the depth of the road. Finally he blew out his despair.

"I just can't let her fall for the things I know I can't provide for her. It's not fair, Sammy. It's not fair to lock her up in this dark life with me just because she loves me … especially while I know there is a whole bright future out there waiting for her."

"Here we go, the old Dean's self-doubt" Sam thought to himself as he took a deep breath before finding the best words to wake his brother up from this nightmare

"Yeah, I know but I don't think it's your call. If Y/n wants to go to hell with you instead of living in heaven with someone else, it's her choice. Not your responsibility. Right?"

Dean shook his head while his lips curved up a little to fake a smile but he never answered or said anything about that conversation ever again. He kept his silence for like three weeks … until someone new showed up: "Gary Smith". A tall man with the most stylish haircut and the most perfect teeth and smile.

They saw him for the first time at their hangout bar, as the new bartender who almost jumped in Y/n's way as soon as they entered the bar.

"Oh my God, bunny! Is this really you?" He said, pulling her in his embrace. Like she was the long time missing piece of his beloved puzzle!

"Bonny? You're wrong. Her name is Y/n." Dean said, pretty annoyed by the way Gary tightened his arms around Y/n's little shoulders, making him chuckle.

"No, uh … it's just a nickname." Y/n said as soon as the guy let her go.

"Yeah, actually the most fitting nickname that I could think of. I mean … you have to agree. She got the most cute little ears in the world." The guy explained, chuckling and pulling on her little star earring. Well, if Sam wanted to be honest, he had to agree with him. He never paid any attention to it before but now that Gary mentioned it, he could tell Y/n's ears were truly small.

"I see … So … I guess this means you were close friends?" Dean said, already hating the way Y/n e's blushed with hearing her old nickname.

"Uh … well, no. Actually more than that." The guy grinned, ruffling his own hair while he was awkwardly laughing and looking at Y/n. Just like a proud embarrassed teen!

"We used to date." Y/n said.

*oh* Sam tried his best not to let that stupid grin sit on his lips but Dean's frown and his sudden heavy silence didn't let him do so.

"Yeah. We are kinda each other's first. Like … you know? prom date." The man added, giving Y/n a wink while Dean's gaze was still locked on his large arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah. It's been years, Gary."

"I know. But believe me, bunny. you still look the same." He said, bending to put a kiss on her right cheek.

Dean would kill him. Sam just knew that. Because his brother's eyes were already burning with jealousy.

"By the way, don't you wanna tell me who these gentlemen are ?" The guy asked Y/n, giving her his softest smile.

"Of course. This is Sam and this is Dean. My colleagues who are my friends now. I live in their place."

After they met, everything got even more complicated. Y/n, the girl who was still trying to get old-happy-days Dean back suddenly stopped whatever she used to do. No more complains, no waiting at nights to see Dean before going to bed, no more effort to get involved in hunts, no nothing. And despite what Dean had claimed before, it was making Dean even more frustrated. Day to day he and Y/n were getting colder towards each other and there was nothing he could do to fix it. That was what made him even more furious. Sam already knew all of that and he still had to live with both of those grumpy faces. So last night when they began to fight, he could see this was coming: Y/n left the bunker after Dean let some hurtful things out of his mouth, just because he didn't know how to deal with all the heartache anymore. He now was convinced that Y/n didn't love him anymore. Yet the next day after drinking whatever strong drink they had, he begged Sam to come with him. Apparently Jodie texted Dean about Y/n being in her place for that night. Just to make sure that her crazy step son won't sell his soul over a tracking spell! So Dean almost begged his brother to be there with him, cause Dean believed that as much as Y/n didn't care about him, she still respected Sam and cared about him. Like a little sister and her elder brother.

So here they were, In Jodie's living room, in front of her and Y/n.

"Considering your sleepy eyes, I think we caught you at bed time, huh?" Sam asked, checking Y/n's obvious eye bags.

"Who says that? I'm totally good, Sam."

She said with a small smile, looking much more in control and stronger than before. So Sam knew it was a lie. Y/n Just had made her peace with what had happened last night. The realization۹ kicked Dean in the gut. Y/n always used to be stronger and bolder when she got hurt.

"I'm gonna make some coffee for us. Why don't you guys take a seat till I come back?"

Jodie interrupted, to ease the heavy and sharp silence that suddenly had fallen over all of them.

Y/n gave her a smile.

"Of course."

It was so fake. Her smile didn't even curl her lips completely. She was still badly hurting.

Sam swore in his head when he looked over his brother who sank silently into the nearest seat at the end of the table like a broken shell that he was too . One of Dean's hands was in the pocket of his jacket, the other formed a fist on the table. Sam was sure Dean knew it too. He knew everything was almost past saving. "Almost". Sam tried to stick to their small chance.

"So …" He cleared his voice before he put some (semi fake) hope into his words."You're … you're gonna come back home today or did Alex and Claire made you promise them otherwise?" He laughed and tried to make it funny but the truth was he asked this for Dean's sake, knowing he already was struggling to find the words … to let Y/n know how much he wanted her back … to ask her to come back.

"To be honest … I don't think I can live in the bunker anymore." Y/n said and as Dean's head snapped up to look at her in horror, she raised her hand to stop his (likely) protests.

"I applied for a job 3 weeks ago and to my surprise they called me this morning to tell me I'd actually got it."

*What?*

No one had to ask it. The question was already hung in the air. She snored mockingly in her nose. "Perfect timing, right?"

She moved her gaze from her interlocked fingers on the table to Dean's eyes.

He didn't answer, he didn't move but he got tense. Still staring back at Y/n.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Sam asked, once again saving Dean from asking the question he was itching to ask with some other words that for sure couldn't be nice.

"I wanted to but I didn't think I could actually get it and even if I did, I never figured out how to tell you. Besides, I never considered the "move out" option before..." She looked at Sam for a second before she turned her gaze on Dean. "... But I actually appreciate that you bring it up. I think now I can take the advice. I'm gonna move on."

Sam's heart dropped in his stomach when he heard those words. Because he knew what this meant. It felt something like having to watch Dean get stabbed in the heart.

"Is this … because of that Bartender?" Dean asked, staring deadly at Y/n with his bloodshot eyes. He was already chewing on his bottom lip. And Sam knew a heavy storm was on its way to hit them.

"I don't want to answer that question."

*shit*

"Why? Because you can't just simply say no?" Dean scolded and Sam could see how it pushed on Y/n boundaries.

"No. Because it's not your fucking business and it's not Gary's business either. But at least he knows his limits."

*well, fuck*

"By "limits" you mean when he drools on you just because for God knows whatever the reason, you started to wear leather jackets when we go there?"

"WHAT?!"

*Oh, fuck* Sam thought to himself, watching Y/n rise from her seat.

"You think … you really think that I …" she laughed nervously and Sam could tell she would punch Dean in the face if she wasn't a sweet, super nice person.

"How you can even …"

"I can even what, Y/n? Are we now going to pretend like I'm a blind man who can't see how you got attracted to your ex again? Did you really think I couldn't see how your hands were shaking when his filthy face lighted up by seeing you for the first time after all these years?"

Sam wanted to interrupt him or at least leave the room but everything was happening so fast.

"So what? Why and since when you care about my private life?"

"Since you stopped drinking bunker's beers just because you rather drink those crappy poisonous cocktails he makes at the bar!"

Dean was on his feet now as well. And despite his will, Sam couldn't stop his smile. He never saw his brother this jealous before. It was fun.

"Poisonous? … You … of all people, you are the one who says this? cause as much as I know, you're the one who puts dormitives in my guest's food so the poor guy gets tired and can't spend his time with me!"

"Yeah, because your poor guy is not welcomed in MY PLACE!" Dean yelled, punching the table with so much power that made everyone almost jump out of their skins.

"Dean!" Finally Sam interrupted but as soon as he stood up, someone rang the doorbell and Sam could hear Jodie welcoming someone inside.

"Guys … I know it's not my place to interfere but you two really need to sort things out somewhere private … of course that's when both of you can be much calmer than this."

"No, we have nothing to say or to talk about, anymore. Your brother was clear enough when he said he wants me to move out, so I'll move out. And that's it."

Y/n declared, looking at Sam to resist any eye contact with Dean, probably to make him even more crazy.

"And that's it? You wanna ignore that part where you were too eager and ready to accept that suggestion and leave the bunker instantly like your pants were on fire?!"

Dean retorted while Y/n was shaking her head like she couldn't believe him.

"Whose pants are on fire?" Jodie interrupted as soon as she re-entered the room with the coffees she'd made, this time a man was with her. Y/n's guy. The famous bartender.

*Oh, No!*

Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a second so the guy couldn't read his face.

"Obviously not mine." Dean hissed through his teeth, looking first at the guy and then at Y/n with such a disappointment and rage that no one could ignore.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The guy asked, choosing the worst spot to stand on: right next to Y/n.

"My typical life I guess. Nothing's new." She mumbled in reply to him but her eyes were still on Dean.

"No, nothing is wrong with your life, Y/n. It's about your choices. That's what's wrong with you. As always." Dean said bitterly. As sharp as a knife, as cold as ice. Sam could see how it drained color from Y/n's face.

"You better watch your mouth, buddy." The Gary guy warned Dean and Sam could tell that if it wasn't for the sudden thud sound that stole everyone's attention, Dean would throw a fight right there. But …

"Y/n!" Jodie almost screamed. Y/n was laying on the floor, seemingly unconscious.

"Oh, God." Sam said as Jodie rushed to her.

"Y/n? … Y/n can you hear me?"

As she sat next to her, Gary's fingers already were on Y/n's carotid pulse point. So Sam couldn't stop himself from looking up at his brother, who was still standing where he was. In shock.

"Oh, shit!" Gary's worried voice made Sam check Y/n's pale face again but Jodie was the one to dare ask the question which was on everyone's minds.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Her pulse ... too faint." He said before turning to Dean: "Is she bleeding?"

"Bleeding?" Dean blinked and mumbled in confusion.

If it was up to Sam, he'd ask *What bleeding?* & *Why are you asking this from my brother?*

"Oh my. You still don't know. Do you?" Gary sneered.

"Know what? What's happening?" Jodie was freaking out now and Sam actually felt the same. He didn't like the way this stranger pretended like he knew her better than them. However what happened next was much more unexpected. And … rude!

To everyone's surprise, the guy reached out to Y/n's jeans and drew his hand between her legs but before anyone could react, he spread her legs open so it could be possible for everyone to see that big red stain there. Then he raised his hand. It was all wet and red in blood!

"She's having a miscarriage." He revealed.

Sam's gaze instantly caught Dean's ... Burning. Dean was burning inside with his heavy silence.

"Don't you worry. It's not mine." Gary added more fuel to that hell with such a mocking tone, staring right back at Dean's eyes.

Now Sam could feel it. The storm was there: rising in his brother's roar!

Before Sam could've moved any muscles, Gary was already pinned to the wall, Dean's hands on his now-ripped-out collar.

"Dean, no!" Sam jumped in, trying to catch his brother's arm before his fist make any contact with the guy's nose but all he could do was changing the direction of the punch which landed on Gary's shoulder, making a painful cracking sound.

"I said no … Dean, stop it." Sam had to literally cage Dean in his arms so the furious man couldn't tear Gary apart.

"Get off me, Sam. This son of a bitch has to learn his place."

"Enough!" As Dean just broke himself free, Jodie's scream stopped everyone in their tracks.

"It's enough!" Jodie warned all three men, pointing at them one by one.

"You want to fight? Not here. Not in my house!"

"But ..."

As soon as Dean opened his mouth to protest, Jodie cut him:

"And you … you should know Y/n is pregnant with your twins. So … you'll be a responsible man who will try his best to save them or you can get the hell out of here and never come back!"

"What?" Sam was too shocked to suppress his reaction while Dean couldn't even find any words to say. His confused look darted between Jodie's face and Y/n's figure while his parted lips kept moving without making any noise, just like a dying fish on the shore!

"I promised her not to tell anyone but it was a promise under normal conditions, not this." Jodie sighed, struggling to keep her emotions under control. Sam saw the worry in her frown. Like a real mother, worried for her children. However it was nothing in comparison to his brother's blank eyes and pale face.

"Dean, It's ok. We just need to take her to hospital. … it's ok, man. I promise."

He had to grab Dean by his jacket, as his brother was struggling to process all of these in his head.

"Come on, man. We got no time. Do I need to do this alone or you'll …"

"Get the car, Sammy."

It was just a simple sentence. Yet it had enough power to make Sam's heart sank. Since Dean had put the car keys in his hand saying that, Sam couldn't stop thinking about that tone. Dean never had called Baby a "car" In years. And Sam had never heard that crack in his voice since their Dad's death.

"You ok?" He finally let himself ask, two hours after they arrived at the hospital.

"I want to be." Dean closed his eyes and put his head against the cold wall, letting the dim light to darken the shadows under his eyes.

"I'm sure she'll be good. She's strong, Dean. You know that."

He smiled and Sam looked away not to watch him. He knew that smile. Dean used to give him that, whenever everything was gone so wrong that Dean couldn't promise him anything good. Like when both of them were still kids. Hungry, cold and all alone in a rusty motel room where John had left them on their own for a one day long hunt but then a heavy snow had crashed the roads and kept them apart for half a week. So Dean had to wash the dishes and do the laundry in the motel to rent the room for another day and provide some snacks so they wouldn't starve to death. But after three days, the hotel managers didn't want them to be around. And Sam could vividly remember that smile on his brother's face when he asked: *Where should we go then?*

"You were always such a father material. You know?"

Sam admitted with a broken smile on his face.

"You were always responsible, kind and caring with me as a kid. And I can't imagine anyone who deserves to be a father more than you."

Dean took a deep breath and opened his eyes without looking at him: "But I don't want ... I really can't, Sammy."

All, it certainly wasn't the response Sam had expected. He used to believe that Dean would never turn down any chance to start a family with Y/n. Especially after everything in the world was back to normal.

"Are you kidding me? You always wanted this."

"No …" Dean finally turned his gaze to meet his brother's confused eyes. "No, Sammy. Not like this. I don't want to raise another kid without his mom. I'm not that strong anymore."

Dang. Once again Sam's heart dropped in his stomach. Dean was really helpless.

"Mr. Winchester?"

Dean was on his feet as Sam just realized the doctor's presence.

"It's me."

Sam prayed for any good news as doctor took a glance of Dean and fixed his glasses on his face …

"To be continued …"

READ CHAPTER 2 HERE

tag list:

@jay-and-dean @adoptdontshoppets @akshi8278

The next and also ultimate chapter will post on Sunday, April 25. Thanks for reading.

Feedback are always appreciated.

[tedturneriscrazy]

🎶Knock, Knock, Knockin' On Hooty's Door🎵

I wonder if anything will happen in this episode.🙂

(I say as if I didn't watch the episode twice before going to bed and writing this post)

I don't think I'll ever not be amused by the way Hooty just...does things with his face

Seems like he found a thesaurus at some point

Okay so it's canonically spelled "Hootsifer," good to know

Also, this is really all we get of Lilith, huh?

His little hoot/coo at Lilith's letter❤❤❤

To borrow a meme format: If I had a nickel for every time Alex Hirsch was involved in a show where one of the characters was experiencing pubescent voice cracks, I'd have two nickels, which isn't very much but it's weird that it happened twice

Eda's face🤣

As much as this bit is played for laughs, Eda's clearly still shaken by what happened last episode

Jeez, Luz, priorities /j

Pictured: Hooty

The way King talks about being pelleted implies this is something Hooty does on the regular

Hooty's plan to help King is literally a Buzzfeed quiz? Okay then

Betcha never expected lore from Hooty, eh?

"DO NOT INTERRUPT"

Officially a "type of worm"

The dance being a grievous insult wasn't exactly from nowhere, but still funny nonetheless

WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING COCCOON

Tiny Nose playing Switch definitely seems to be drawing from Dana's real life experiences

Wait, Hooty and Tiny Nose are friends?

Well shit, turns out she could use magic this whole time. Guess her going Super Saiyan wasn't just the power glyph.

I am extremely skeptical of your medical credentials, TN

I have so many questions about the methodology they used for the blood test(s)

I think Hooty may have misinterpreted what King was looking for

I'm still amazed at how King has had, and continues to have, moments in the show with some of the greatest emotional weight

Ooh, sound powers!

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRUMBLE!!!"

It just occurred to me that that segment consisted mostly of Alex Hirsch talking to himself

Hello not-at-all obvious setup

Today I learned that Hooty is the baker of the house. Maybe he'd critique Amity's fairy pie.

Aaaaand there's the sleep inducing

Oh shit

In hindsight the Owl Beast being part of a dream sequence is rather obvious

Wow, Eda, tell us how you really feel about the Owl Beast

Oh we're just gonna ride aboard the Trauma Express today, huh?

Oh, I guess Lilith did make an appearance, after all

Damn, Gwen, not even looking

Oh shit dad issues

Sandy Cohen?! (To anyone who gets that reference, hi. How are your 30s treating you?)

Well, I know who Peter Gallagher voices now, anyway

Oh dear...

(Also, bright flashing lights triggering the curse? There's an epilepsy allegory in here somwhere)

Blood and eye injury? Gotta stretch that Y7 rating

Now we have some context for that look on Eda's face when Lilith mentioned their dad: good old fashioned guilt!

I desparately want to make a "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" joke, but I'm better than that

New memory! Raine!

Oh no...

I get the feeling I'll hate this part, too

They were exes!😢 Guess the fandom called that one

The reasoning for them being exes is understandable, all too real, and goddamn heartbreaking

That said, the fact they never stopped loving each other🥺😢😭

I do hope we can see Raine again under less...traumatic circumstances. Maybe that wedding that was mentioned?

Oh shit, are we getting into the Owl Beast's memories?!?! What a tweest!

Bet nobody expected Cloaked Moonface to show up in the frickin Hooty episode

(Also, holy shit I briefly forgot this was the Hooty episode)

Who is this mysterious cloaked figure? And why are they so tall and long?

So the curse was a sealed beast this whole time. Damn.

And it was just picked up as beach junk to sell as a trinket. So much for it being connected to Belos. (Not that people will stop trying to do so)

Who had "experiencing sympathy for the Owl Beast" on their Bingo cards for this episode? Yeah, me neither.

And here we have the necessary Eda coming to terms with her curse segment. More accurately, Eda and the curse coming to terms with each other.

Goddamnit why does it have to be cute

"It's like sandpaper" IT'S LIKE A CAT I FUCKING CAN'T

Insert Steamed Hams reference here to kill the mood

New transformation!

Oh no she's hot!

No, Hooty, you made it surprisingly much, much better!

She might have a problem pushing people away and holding onto guilt, but Eda always knows that she looks damn good

Oh right, Luz having girl problems. Fuck, so much is happening in this episode!

"Cotton-candy-haired Goddess" LUZ! 🤣

Attuned to other people's emotions = being a fucking creeper

Oh Luz, what happened to you back home?

Also, 99.999% certain Amity would love your cheesiness

That's...rather morbid, Hooty

So much lore development, including the fact the Owl House has a basement

Classic inanimate object silhouette fakeout gag. Subversion in 3...2...1...

There it is!

I can't imagine being pelleted is a fun experience.

Honestly I have so many questions about how Hooty got Amity there in the first place, but I'm not so sure I actually want to know the answers to any of them...

Cue much panicking

Wow, I'm really getting some Into the Bunker flashbacks

Oh this is gonna be amazing isn't it

I commend Luz for not actually dropping dead of embarrassment

Seriously, how can Hooty set all this up so fast yet not hold a pen?!?!?!

Poor Luz, she thinks this is destroying her chances

Meanwhile Amity is just "Oh, Titan, is this actually happening?!"

The way she's fixing her hair!❤

Goddamnit Luz let this play out, she's so clearly into this!

"Again?!" Okay who do I have to kill?

Luz is luzing it

Nooooooo....

JUST TALK FOR FUCK'S SAKE (aka how like 95% of issues in literally any plot could be solved)

Noooo Amity's so heartbroken right now💔

This isn't what either of them wanted!

To be fair, Hooty, Luz had a part in this too. Not that she can be blamed entirely. Poor thing clearly had some awful experiences back home...

Now Hooty is McFucking losing it

Why did I think he was gonna say "Looks like I'm gonna have to JUMP!" I think I've watched too much Homestar Runner (jk there's no such thing)

Those pulsating organs are still gross

Eda swooping in to save her son (No, really, he actually is now)

I'll say things get weird when Hooty gets upset!

Yes, King! Save them with your voice powers!

Damn that is some romantic lighting, and Luz is enjoying the eye candy (cotton candy, if you will)

Luz's reaction to Harpy!Eda is the family-friendly summation of how the fandom has reacted.

Hooty really just tearing up the landscape in remorse

Mother-daughter moment about love life!

I appreciate not just Eda's encouragement but her actually asking Luz what she wanted

God, Eda is best mom

Also, OH FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING?!

OH SHIT

THESE ADORABLY AWKWARD NERDS❤💜💙

"I'm not as cool as you think" could be interpreted as self-deprecating, but here it seems...oddly reassuring?

The way Luz eloquently says how she wants Amity in her future...beautiful❤

Luz making some good faces

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOU CUTE DORKS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

THERE IT IS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS

WE WERE LOSING OUR SHIT OVER A PECK ON THE CHEEK THREE WEEKS AGO AND NOW LOOK WHERE WE ARE HOLY FUCK

Awkwardness is still there, but that's to be expected

BET Y'ALL DIDN'T EXPECT THAT TRAILER SHOT TO BE IN THE HOOTY EPISODE HUH

THE WAY LUZ RUBS AMITY'S HAND😭😭😭😭😭

(And yeah, it's gonna still be scary, but only because it promises to be so wonderful)

Let's give it up for Hootsifer, goddamn!

Let'a also appreciate just how fucking funny it is that Lumity becomes official in the Hooty episode

Fus ro WEH!

Hooty actually saying "Luz's new GF" out loud...

In just about any other show the love interests getting together would be a climax/culmination of the entire plot. Here? It's actually used to advance the plot, and that is brilliant!

Dana Terrace and the crew really just knocking it out of the park again and again, huh

"They're adorable, and deserve all the happiness!" Well said, Hootsifer. Well said.

Probably for the best they had Hooty promise that. As much as what happened/progressed, there was a lot of property damage.

OH SHIT ONCE AGAIN

King's dad/relative! And he's voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson!

GODDAMNIT HOOTY

Wow. Just...wow. This episode.

King has voice powers! Harpy!Eda! Lumity are girlfriends for real!!!!

How do you pack so much into a single episode?! And so expertly?!

I had my suspicions before, but this confirms it: The Owl House is the greatest show of all time.

And we have two episodes left until the hiatus! And 11 episodes in the season after that! What are we in for?!?!?!

I, for one, can't wait to find out!