#i've never posted anything i've written that isn't fanfic
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land-years.
a/n: this is my piece for to the stars, beyond the depths zine! if you'd like to see more, please check out my fellow contributors' works here (link to download!).
genre: fantasy / general
info: -
warnings: -
synopsis: a siren finds a new home among the humans.
word count: 2.1k
"Sirens are real," the girl said, plainly as though stating the weather, without looking up from the illustrated book of stories that she was currently busy with. The nursemaid gave a hum of acknowledgement, waiting for the girl to continue speaking. However, the girl fell silent once again and flipped the page, laying on her belly otherwise unmoving.
It was something that the nursemaid found a smidge disconcerting about her charge that was apparent quite soon after birth, that the girl enjoyed being still and being quiet. The nursemaid had little contact with other women employed for the same purpose in other households, but she supposed it was no small mercy to spend her days watching over a placid child. The burden of her employment would have been too heavy for its exchange in coin, after all.
The nursemaid finished the last bit of folding for the day, gathering the girl's underclothes into her arms and then standing up to put them away in the wardrobe. "Will you tell me more?" came the girl's voice again. This time, she had raised her head from its stooped position, and the nursemaid beheld the girl's guileless eyes.
With all her housekeeping tasks for the day accomplished, the nursemaid seated herself beside the girl, and asked, eager, and with sparkling eyes, "What would you like to hear, dove?"
It became a ritual of sorts, both for the girl who drank stories like parched land in the first summer rain and for the nursemaid who told stories from times before her time and from places beyond her place. Storytelling was lighter work than doing starching clothes and scrubbing floors, and the nursemaid counted herself fortunate all over again.
The girl was lying on her back on the carpet in one such instance, as was her usual position, her eyes fixed on one particular stone of the many that made up the ceiling. Occasionally, the girl would stretch out her hand to tap on the nursemaid's knee, a signal that she had a question.
"Who is the All-Mother?" the girl asked, craning her neck to watch the nursemaid's face. Idly, the girl was pinching the hem of the nursemaid's dress, rubbing her fingers along the seams. There was a wandering thread that the girl had pried free from the hours her hands were occupied with the nursemaid's hemline.
The nursemaid put a hand to the girl's hair and stroked the stray curls back, smiling. "The All-Mother is the spirit who rules the sea. She is also the mother of all sirens. She appoints each siren their lot in life; either to birth and nurture, or to fight and protect."
There was a wrinkle in the bridge of the girl's nose as she considered the nursemaid's answer to her question. Opening her mouth once and then closing it again, the girl hummed, as if finally understanding.
"What if I want to do neither?" came the girl's voice, only a little louder than a whisper.
The nursemaid could not see any reason for the girl to lower her voice in her private bedchambers since there were only the two of them. The other servants had no business in this secluded part of the master's estate. Solitude was something the girl enjoyed very much, and her father was most obliging of her request to take residence in a small cottage apart from the main house.
There was a new hardness in the girl's eyes, still trained to one oddly shaped stone that hung directly above her, and the nursemaid wondered if she had made a mistake in telling the girl all these stories. Selfishly, the nursemaid mourned the loss of the placid infant she cradled first in her bosom that one summer's day many years ago. She had not reared a child save for the girl, and so she failed to anticipate what sorrow she would feel as the girl started to blossom into womanhood.
"The All-Mother is not a forgiving one. All her daughters who do not wish to follow her will are not her daughters any longer. Their names are removed from them. They will leave their sisters and their home, never to return," said the nursemaid, a tired ache in her chest returning even if she had thought all her years on land had blotted it out.
The nursemaid could not remember the last time she dreamed while she slept.
As the night advanced across the far horizon and dyed it with a dripping black, she lay down in her bed and wondered if she had imagined how liquid and roiling and alive the sky looked. The colour reminded her of the home that she left all those years ago. It was her conscious decision to leave, and yet she found her chest alight with a still-bleeding grief, as if the sea was taken from her.
The little window on the other side of her room taunted her with that little slice of the night sky. Scattered rolls of cloud were less black than the sky that they were painted on, shining like the crests of the waves of the sea under a smattering of stars. Yearning hit her once again, and it made her toss and turn relentlessly in her bed when she should have been asleep.
When it became apparent that rest would continue to evade her, the nursemaid rose from beneath the blankets and exited her bedroom. The cool stone floors under her bare feet strangely relaxed her as she made her way down several hallways and corridors and down a long flight of stairs that led to the kitchen.
She ducked into the little room where the master of the estate liked the spices to be kept and reached into the salt box. With a fistful of salt tucked safely into the sole pocket of her nightclothes, the nursemaid returned to her room, crunching some grains of salt between her teeth as she went.
It was the taste of salt on her tongue that finally lulled the nursemaid into sleep. And as she slept, she dreamed of seagrass and of sunburst.
In the trenches of slumber, a sense of clarity came upon the nursemaid. She was able to remember the self that she was before this. Perhaps it was the weight of her longing that blinded her mind's eye, making the self that she used to be as faint as a shadow in the little crease of the girl's eyelids.
Before this, she was a dweller beneath the waves, a proud daughter of the All-Mother.
It came to be that as the girl approached the end of her childhood days, she was made aware of the fact by her father announcing that she was soon to meet with an assortment of noble sons from all over the kingdom with the expectation that she would eventually be wed to one of them.
The nursemaid stood at the far corner of the master's study, watching a pleat form between the thin brows of the girl. With a practised ease, the girl willed her features into neutrality, and she simply nodded as a form of acknowledging her father's requirement.
"These are some fine young men. I'm certain you will find someone to your liking," the master said, and the nursemaid was certain those words felt like a quickly tightening chain around the girl's neck.
The girl did not ask about any of the boys she would be meeting, but the master began to give a brief description of the handful that he favoured above the rest. Intrusive were the eyes the master laid on the girl, but the nursemaid felt a swell of pride within her when the girl proved to be unreadable to her father. Instead, the master feigned a clearing of the throat as he finally looked away from the girl to thumb at a folded sheet of parchment in his hands.
Twin stacks of what must be correspondences between the master and the fathers of the boys in question were tall, standing impressively to the left of the master's inkwell. The girl kept her eyes on the brooch nestled at the base of the master's throat as he continued on the his harangue about this noble son and that.
At the mention of the name of the half-brother of the crown prince, the nursemaid and the girl shared a look of surprise when the master turned away momentarily. He straightened the stacks of letters with a strange urgency though they did not wobble. Whilst the master was neatening up something the nursemaid thought was already orderly, he missed the poignant shadow that passed over the girl's face, gone when the nursemaid blinked.
"I want to stay with you, Nurse," the girl said.
She lifted one of her hands as if to scratch at her nose, but having caught sight of herself in the mirror, she lowered it back to her lap. Knowing that the mistress would chastise her for ruining her painstakingly applied powder in the moments before meeting a prince in the flesh, the girl settled instead for pressing the points of her fingernails into the fat of her thigh.
The nursemaid watched the girl, pleased that she remained ever the placid infant across the span of years at the same time that she was displeased at how much the girl's obedience would cost her.
"You need not worry your pretty head, dove," the nursemaid said, keeping the strokes of the comb in the girl's hair consistent. "I would go with you anywhere, even if you wish to go to the sea."
There was that hardness again in the girl's eyes once again. It staggered the nursemaid when the girl was still drinking milk, but the nursemaid realised her mistake now that the girl had shed the softness of childhood: it suited her.
"The All-Mother is not my mother," the girl said, now wringing her wrists to keep her hands away from that itch on her nose. "The sea is not my home."
The little window in the nursemaid's room proved to be a distraction anew.
With her face angled to the wall where the window sat, the nursemaid was watching the night sky as if she were a guard on duty. The expanse of it that the little window revealed was liquid and alive again, appearing to bubble and boil in the slivers of inattention that speckled the nursemaid's focus.
It was yet another night where sleep remained confidently out of the nursemaid's grasp, so she kept her eyes open towards the sky as she pretended that it was the sea.
It was a day of darkening tree leaves when the girl was to bid her childhood home goodbye.
The nursemaid was counting the trunks of the girl's personal effects as the footmen loaded them into the hired wagons, liveried with the crest of the house where the girl was being married off to. When everything was in order for the girl's departure, the master and the mistress both ushered her out from the solarium where she was poring over her much beloved illustrated book of stories.
In the same tearless manner that the master and the mistress received the girl into the world and as a member of their family, they sent her off to the house of the man who would be her husband. The nursemaid scooped the girl's still-gloved hand in her own, squeezing, and hoped the girl would understand that it was her way of shedding tears on behalf of her parents.
The road to the prince's house was long, and the girl quickly wearied of the journey, leaning her head on the plush carriage interior to grasp at any wisps of sleep that she could. Morning melted into afternoon, punctuated only by a short stop at a small town for a meal.
When the road curved to lead them away from the thickly forested hills, it was the salt on the breeze that alerted the nursemaid to their proximity to the sea. The girl, as if sensing the nursemaid's fever for the sea, opened her eyes.
The nursemaid reached over to grasp at the girl's still-gloved hand for the last time. "All-Mother keep you," the nursemaid said, both as a greeting and a farewell. She kept the girl's hand safely clutched between both of hers as she called the sea to come up past its natural boundary to meet the girl, who had decided her new home would be the one the nursemaid left.
#fic#general#kaija writes#kaija writes: original#kaija in zine: ttsbtd#i've never posted anything i've written that isn't fanfic#so i'm nervous about this!!!#that said this piece was super fun for me to write#even if it took multiple tries to wrangle it so it Became A Story
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Notes from a concerned medical professional who reads too much hurt/comfort:
(These are all things I've seen in Hazbin/Helluva fanfics)
(Tw: for injury, illness, gore, drug use, overdose, a lot of other things)
You cannot drug someone to sleep by overdosing them on melatonin. It will not work
Don't submerge an open wound or stitches in a bathtub/pool/etc it will introduce bacteria to the wound (taking a shower is usually fine, just skip the romantic bath)
On that note, stitches do not immediately stop a wound from bleeding and should not be used to solve every problem (never give yourself stitches unless you have absolutely no other choice they can trap infection inside the body when done incorrectly)
And, if the wound is extremely deep, a person may need several layers of stitches to piece together the skin, muscle, and viscera
You absolutely cannot get high on tylenol or ibuprofen even if you mix it with alcohol.
If you do mix tylenol or ibuprofen with alcohol it can cause internal bleeding/kidney damage/liver failure, so please don't do that
If someone is shivering from a high fever, don't cover them in blankets it will raise their body temperature even more (please try correctly dosed tylenol or ibuprofen for this)
Don't submerge someone with a high fever in ice water, they might go into shock (they also might panic and hurt themselves) in a pinch lukewarm water will do
Don't put ice on burns, run them under lukewarm or cool water instead
If someone overdoses on an opoid (heroin, morphine, various pain medications), there is a medicine called nalaxone (Narcan) that can reverse the effects of opioids (edit: thank you to @queerlybehooved)
If someone is bleeding profusely, don't just hold their head and whisper sweet nothings, put pressure on the wound!!!
If a bullet remains in a person’s body after being shot it most likely should not be dug out unless it's blocking something vital, the bullet is not the problem the damage it made in it's path is
This isn't a criticism of authors who have written things like this. A lot of it isn't common knowledge, and DIY healthcare is absolutely steeped in myth and misinformation. I just worry about disinformation being perpetuated (and I really enjoy accurate hurt/comfort)
If I got anything wrong, please let me know, and I'll edit the post. I'm far from perfect and appreciate good advice
Let me know if you guys want a fic rec list of my favorite Hazbin Hotel whump fics
#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#alastor the radio demon#hazbin alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#radioapple#radiostatic#appleradio#hazbin hotel charlie#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#lucifer magne#lucifer morningstar#angel dust#angel dust hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel angel dust#hazbin hotel angel#angelhusk#huskerdust#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel husk#hazbin hotel fanfiction#alastor#original#i contributed#radiorose#platonic radiorose#tw:#injury
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What's all this about Solas speaking in iambic pentameter? English isn't my first language so I never noticed anything odd about the way he talks, but your blog is the first time I've seen it mentioned by anyone
hello! ◕‿◕ Solas sometimes speaks in a specific pattern or rhythm. It sometimes gets described as or compared by people to iambic pentameter. (which is a type of rhythm common in traditional English poetry. Shakespeare used it in his sonnets and plays.) Though, I'm not sure that it's actually literally that or always that. The main point is that at those times, he's speaking particularly poetically, with a specific poetic rhythm in his speech. (Like where the stress on syllables is and the 'beats' in his speech.) Occasionally, the Inquisitor's dialogue line[s] in response to him are the same.
When Trick Weekes wrote Solas in DA:I, they wrote some of his key scenes to KD Lang's cover of the song Hallelujah on a loop. They talked about some of their process and the reasons for the use of this technique in terms of Solas' characterization in this DA:I-era blog post:
Trick Weekes: "When Solas talks about things that he saw in the Fade, things that speak to a distant past, I needed him to sound ever so slightly otherworldly and wistful – someone remembering a dream with a sense of both sadness and inevitability. If you follow [that link] and look at some of Solas’s lines, you may notice a familiar rhythm come out. It would have been forcing it to give lines the same rhyme scheme, but giving the words the meter captured some of that wistfulness and made Solas sound ever so slightly otherworldly. (In the rare cases the player got into the same rhythm, there was always an approval bump from Solas. For that brief period, it was like the player was thinking like he did.) I used this a few times over the game, and I love what it did to his voice. Also, Cori (who edited Solas) is exceedingly kind for putting up with my request that changes to those lines keep this surreptitious rhythm."
[source]
An example of when it happens in DA:I is:
"I've journeyed deep into the Fade // in ancient ruins and battlefields // to see the dreams of lost civilizations. I've watched as hosts of spirits clash // to reenact the bloody past // in ancient wars both famous and forgotten. Every great war // has its heroes. // I'm just curious // what kind you'll be."
Compare this with the song's lyrics:
"I heard there was a secret chord // That David played, and it pleased the Lord // You don't really care for music, do ya? Well it goes like this: The fourth, the fifth // The minor fall, the major lift // The baffled king composing Hallelujah Hallelujah // Hallelujah // Hallelujah // Hallelujah"
An example from Trespasser is:
"I lay in dark and dreaming sleep [I heard there was a secret chord] while countless wars and ages passed [That David played, and it pleased the Lord] I woke still weak a year before I joined you. [You don't really care for music, do ya?]" etc.
Recent mentions of this are:
Q. Will Solas still occasionally or dramatically speak in iambic pentameter? A. “Massive kudos to Patrick, who always writes Solas so well. Again, Solas is a returning character. It’s the same Solas you know and love (or hate depending on who you are). The same writer. So I think the answer is yeah, it’s Solas.” – John Epler
[source: BioWare dev Discord Q&A on June 14th]
User: "you really went off with solas. but the iambic pentameter makes writing fanfic dialogue for him so treacherous..." Trick Weekes: "It doesn't always have to be in the cadence! Just when he's deeply feeling The Old Days! He's written in standard prose 99% of the time!"
[source]
I think he does it a bit in the gameplay reveal video [Veil ripping scene with Varric] too. hope this helps :>
[msg refs this post]
[For the developer Q&A from June 14th on Discord: Notes are here, re-watch link is here]
#video games#mjs mailbag#groons#long post#longpost#aa nb in this post i'm not saying it's IP. i said i dont think its actually literally that 😅#it says ppl describe it as that and then has quotes hh#same as prev mentions on my blog :D its quotes from e.g. the discord q&a transcript#where someone asked about it in a question#spoilers
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Bring Me To Life
Pairing: Arkham Knight!Jason Todd x Female! Reader
Summary: Destroy the Batman and get his companion back? Jason almost didn't believe Slade until... Warnings: Usage of female pronouns, Nudity (NO smut), Swearing, Character Death, Angst, Resurrection, Infantization ( I didn't know how to better describe this), Unhealthy relationship dynamics, Kinda Dark/Obsessive! Jason, Mentions Electroshock therapy, Implied Brainwashing, Slade being a creep, Mentions of Drug Abuse, Mentions of Child Neglect, Mentions of Child Homelessness and unsafe situations, SPOILERS for Death in the Family (Comic 1988) and Arkham Knight.
Author's Note: Hiya Everyone, This is the first fanfic I've written in a while and the christianing fic for this account. I may start a casual little series with this, but I don't know yet. Also any comic and game inaccuracies are either because I forgot or I adjusted it to fit the story.
Also while this post is mostly safe for work, MINORS DNF AND PLEASE READ WARNINGS. I DO NOT AUTHORIZE ANYONE TO STEAL MY WORK OR REPOST IT ON OTHER SITES.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It was supposed to be him...
Those dark nights he had spent alone on the streets as a child didn't seem so bad looking back on it. Jason understood struggle even when he had lived with his parents who spent grocery money on alcohol and drugs. Living on the streets didn't feel so much worse, especially since he had... "Jason, Mr. Accetta gave me some scraps from dinner rush today! There's even a whole pizza in here!"
Her. His one friend had since he was thrown into this harsh world. She was the only person he knew at the time to never stop smiling or finding a positive outlook on things. He couldn't even remember when they met, but he could hardly remember them being apart.
Whether he was stealing or fighting, she was there as a faithful lookout or a willing accomplice. She taught him how to take tires off of cars like her granddad taught her and he taught her how to throw a punch like his dad used to throw. An unstoppable duo who ran the alley as well as two 11-year-olds could.
The harsh winter nights they spent crowding together were his favorite memories from that time. Even with the bite of Gotham's winds at their toes, his partner would never falter to talk about anything and everything as he listened. She would talk about her dead grandparents a lot and all the stories she had with them before they passed away, but his mind couldn't recall them at all. He just remembers the constant dream that she told him every night.
"One day, Jay, I'm gonna have enough money and get an apartment in Old Gotham..." Jason's nose turns up as he listens to his friend as he bites on his food. "Why Old Gotham? Isn't it just falling apart?"
She giggles as she pulls the oversized coat closer to her shivering body. The jacket was from a relative but the fabric lost those memories as its fibers were now bones. She still had it even after she left the streets...
"Because it's the most beautiful place in the world...I will get an apartment someday and you and I will live there. We can even get like a cat or something."
The familiar burn on Jason's face blooms as he asks, "Why would you want me there?"
"Because it wouldn't be my dream home unless you're there with me."
He wouldn't find out until a few years later that her grandparents used to live in Old Gotham until her grandfather died and her grandmother had to move as she would unknowingly follow her husband not even a year later...
Those nights in the streets melted into nights spent in the warmth of Wayne manor. As the two thieves became kings after a faithful night with the Batmobile, Jason was brought into the world of crime fighting along with his closest friend. As they trained and donned their capes, She would show a new side of herself to Jason. The overly happy young girl from the streets became an anxious teenager as he became angerier.
"Jason..." Her voice woke him up in the darkest of nights. His body ached from the nightly fights from the previous day as he turned to see a familiar sight.
A now 14-year-old Y/N standing in the crack of the door. Her fidgeting figure indicated all he needed to know before he raised his blanket as she scurried to get in the bed. This was a ritual that started when they moved in. Both would grow anxious at night as they went from the open streets to a large, confining manor. Alfred almost had given up on trying to scold the teens as they were found sharing a bed more times than being separated.
As she curled into his side as much as she could without hurting him, he could practically hear her mind tinkering as her E/C eyes stared into his chest.
There wasn't the need to discuss what was on her mind. At least not right now. She was concerned about the growing tension between Bruce and Jason. He was becoming reckless and Bruce was having none of it with her often getting dragged into the middle of the fights.
He hated that he never tried more...
It shouldn't have surprised him when all the conflict had finally caused a break in the family. Especially when Jason began looking for his birth mother. Y/N tried to be supportive of him as he investigated his leads. Those leads eventually led to Jason reuniting with Bruce as he investigated a possible arms trade in Lebanon. The reconciliation and the prospect of finding his mother left him blind to any form of common sense, but what kind of common sense could a fifteen-year-old make in the life they lived?
He should have listened to her concerns when they finally found Sheila Haywood, his real mother. Y/N had a bad feeling from the start but he dismissed her worries. Jason had no clue that the night he was supposed to meet with Sheila was gonna end up being one of the worst nights of his life....
"Jason, maybe you should wait for Bruce to be here so he can come with you." She suggested softly.
His eyes roll as he adjusts his costume. "Because it's none of his business. I'm just meeting with my mom and talking out some stuff..."
He didn't tell her about the blackmailing he witnessed earlier that day between his mother and the Joker. But, he would find out later that she already knew about it through Bruce.
Her hand reaches for his shoulder and pulls him around to face her. "I'm serious. You shouldn't meet with a woman you barely know in some fucking warehouse in the middle of nowhere!"
Jason can remember the hurt he felt when he heard her snap at him, Oh, how angry he got with her when all she wanted was to protect him. He remembers yelling at her the worst thing he thought he could say to her.
Why the fuck did he ever say that to her?
"I'm sorry your parents didn't want anything to fucking do with you, but I'm not gonna let your bitter ass ruin my shot to be with mine."
He remembers the hurt that filled her eyes and the string of regret pooling in his gut. With a fake smile on her face and tears pooling in her eyes, Y/N says softly,
"Okay...I'm sorry," The sharp sting in his neck as she pressed the vial of sedatives Bruce gave her into his veins. "I'm sorry to do this, Jason, but Bruce said you wouldn't go down that easily."
Jason couldn't remember what he said after the spark of betrayal hit him, but he hated himself that the last time he saw those eyes they were clouded with the tears he caused....
"Y/N! Please talk to me!" Jason begs into the coms as he rod on the back of the motorbike with Bruce.
He should have known. Her instincts are never wrong and he doubted her.
When Bruce found him unconscious and told him about how Joker was involved in all of this, Jason should have known that it was all a trap. His mother wasn't a poor blackmailed soul, she was a conniving bitch who profitted.
He also should have known that Y/N was gonna go meet with Sheila instead of him. Where the Joker was waiting for her.
"Y/N, please. Please be okay...." He begged to the coms as he can only think about what he said to her the last time they spoke.
"J...Jason...."
"Y/N!" Relief washed over him like a wave as he heard her voice. Her broken pained moaned of his voice made him sick as he tried to at least rationalized that at least she was alive. "Don't worry, honey. We know where you are and we're coming to help you."
He didn't know that she was laying battered and broken against the locked door as she stared at the bomb that was ticking away on the wall. Her labored breaths blocked out the ticking on the comms as she whispers out.
00:12
"Do you remember the apartment?..."
"What apartment? The one you talked about in the alley? Why are you-?"
She interupts him, he can hear the familiar curl of her smile in her pained voice as she whispered,
"I wanted it to have a window facing the east end...the stars always looked pretty over there..."
00:10
"Y/N, what are you-"
"I wanted one of those Tabby-looking cats like the ones we saw in the alleyway outside of Mr. Accetta's restaurant...Name it Frank after that old Italian fucker...I was hoping we could go back and actually buy dinner in that restaurant someday..."
00:08
"Are you okay? Why are you talking like this? We are almost there. I can see the building! We are almost here. I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU."
Jason's desperation was palpable as he heard his beloved talk like she was on her deathbed. His panic causes Bruce to drive faster as the Batcycle inches closer to the warehouse. "Jason"
00:04
"Jason, I love you...I have since I was 13..." She admits as her voice trembles. "I used to dream we would become the family we always wanted with each other...Thank you for being in my life and I'm sorry I let you down..."
00:03
"Y/N, I -"
00:02
"Wait!"
00:01
"Goodbye, Jason..."
.
.
.
It should have been him who died that night... It was supposed to be him. NOT HER.
Jason blamed himself for her death as soon as he helped pull her broken corpse out of the rubble. He tried to convince himself that it wasn't her. This wasn't his Batgirl. Not his best friend who would run around the manor with him or help him pickpocket pedo freaks on the street. This broken little girl that was in his adoptive father's arms wasn't his first love. She was a bright, kind light who protected her loved ones, not this broken shell who wore her skin...
But, it was her...
He blamed Bruce for it too. He was the one gave her the orders to keep Jason away from the warehouse. He had to have known that she was gonna go instead. Bruce should have known she was because she wanted to be wrong about Sheila so Jason could be happy...
He also blamed the Joker. He wanted that Clown dead... His opportunity presents itself after he tracks Joker down to an abandoned wing of Arkham trying to flee from blowing up a children's hospital.
Blinded by his rage and bloodlust, Jason went in alone and without any communication. Y/N would scold him in her grave as he fell for the trap, sealing him in a cycle of hell for a year.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"What if I could?"
"Do what?"
"Bring her back. Would you be willing to work for Crane if I could bring back the little Batgirl?"
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He knew it was bullshit.
Bringing back someone from the dead was impossible.
Jason would have been satisfied if his pseudo-partner/ prisoner, Deathstroke, just told him that he would be able to kill the Batman and wipe the hell hole that is Gotham off the face of the earth. He already dedicated a full year after his escape from Arkham to building his army.
His only regret during this time was not killing Joker himself. Even after all the torture and pain that clown did to him, he regretted not bashing the Joker's skull in after their last encounter as Slade helped him escape. It wouldn't have mattered to him at the time that Slade would have killed him because it wouldn't have been revenge for his own torture.
it would have been for Y/N. For the hell she faced that night. After a few months in Arkham, Jason almost accepted his torture as punishment for not dying that day for her because he experienced everything she felt. Every day he experienced everything she had to feel those short agonizing hours for an entire year. She must have been so scared and Jason couldn't save her.
The only thing that kept him from giving up was the memories he had of her and the burning hatred for those who caused her light to be snuffed out too soon.
He just wanted to feel that warmth again...
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"If you can do that, then I'll burn the whole world to the ground for that fucking lunatic."
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"Please Jason. Let us help you!" Barbara Gordan begged from her cell as Jason snaps at her.
"THERE IS NO HELPING! I CAN FIX IT!"
Jason was manic. His men were being tugged around like dog toys by Batman and Slade had left him hours ago to attend some matter he didn't care to ask about. His time was running thin and he knows he needs to end this soon. It didn't help that those he didn't want involved are here as well like Barbara.
"Sir..." A militia soldier says as he nervously walks into the room. HIs men were already aware how stupid it was to come near him when he's in a crazed anger. Jason's head whipped at him like a feral man as he grits out.
"What is it?"
"Deathstroke is here...and he uh..."
Impatience reaches a boiling point as Jason raises his gun and shoots the militia solider in the head as Barbara shrieks. The red puddle of death fills the sterile room with lead as Deathstroke walts in. Jason turns his back towards him as places his helmet back into place.
"My, what a mess you made." Deathstroke mockingly scolds. The hidden smirk almost causes Jason to snap again.
"Where have you been? Batman is out there taking down my tanks faster than my men can repair them. You told m-!"
The Arkham Knight's monologue was intruppted as he turns to scold Slade by his heart dropping to his stomach at the sight before him. He swore that if he didn't hear Barbara's gasp and the whisper of fate's name, he would have woken up back in that dreaded wing of Arkham Asylum.
Slade chuckles as he rattles the chain in his hand as he says coyly, "What? Am I not allowed to go fetch your payment?"
Standing behind Deathstroke was a naked woman. Her tangled up (H/C) hair ran down her shoulders as her wide innocent eyes shined through the now white tendrils framing her face. Her body seemed more mature but all muscle mass she had was faded. Her face seemed aged but he recognized the curve of her nose and those lips he imagined smiling at him through his darkest moments.
"Y/N?" He helplessly calls out to her as he feels himself pulled towards her like a magnet.
If it wasn't for the stark white streak and gnarly, painful-looking scars on her body, Jason would have thought this was Scarecrow's fear toxin. It couldn't be possible, right? She was dead. He knew she was because he held her body. He felt how cold she was and watched how her lifeless eyes looked up to the ash ridden sky.
Those eyes now looked at him with no familiarity, but a childlike wonder as she naively smiles at him.
"How?" Was all the Arkham Knight could muster as he reaches to grab her. To pull her into his arms and never let her leave.
Deathstroke grabs the collar that was wrapped around her neck and yanks her back behind him as she chokes on her breath. He chuckles as he looks back into Jason's voiceless mask.
"The Lazarus Pit brought back her body." He explains as he hauntingly twirls the chain in his hand. "Of course, after you agreed to work with Crane, I brought her back immediately. Unfortunately, the poor thing suffered from Pit Madness."
A cruel smirk appears on Deathstrokes lips as he pushes the girl's hair back to reveal circular scars on her temples. Jason felt rage bubbling up in his throat as he recognized what those scars were.
Prolonged Electroshock Therapy
"You sick!" Before Jason could throw a punch, Slade places his gun on Y/N's forehead as he chuckles. The woman didn't even sense the danger as she continued to observe everyone with a curious eye. Jason immediately backs off as Slade continues.
"Of course. Her treatment did cause her to be cured of the madness but at the cost of her memories. She barely remembers how to take care of herself so you make it like that. Especially when you want to fuck her."
Jason was thankful for his mask as he would have killed him from his glare. To imply that she was just a potential fucktoy made him itch to bury this man in the deepest bowels of hell. As he quietly glares at him, Slade finally offers him the chain. The Arkham Knight accepts the chain as the assassin warns him,
"Now since you got your payment. You better keep your end of the deal..." His voice becomes threatening as he says.
"Because I can easily kill her just as I brought her back.'"
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AN: I was gonna write more, but I got exhausted so this is all I got. Let me know if it's a vibe or not.
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@simpingforheros fanfic. I DO NOT AUTHORIZE THE COPYING, STEALING, OR REPOSTING OF MY WORKS ON OTHER WEBSITES WITHOUT CREDIT.
#jason todd x reader#arkham knight#arkhamverse#arkham asylum#arkham knight x reader#arkham knight jason todd#jason todd#red hood#batfam#batman fanfiction#batman arkham series#arkham knight x you
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Your quite treason | JJK
ᥫ᭡pairing: married exbsf!jungkook x female reader
ᥫ᭡genre: ex best friends, forbidden love , angst rating: 16+
ᥫ᭡warnings: drug and alcohol usage, mentions of cheating, swearing, depressed, obsession, crying and all that stupid stuff.
ᥫ᭡word count: around 20K (ik it's too much but i couldn't control my feelings 😩)
ᥫ᭡summary: Your love for Jeon Jungkook was ruining your life.
ᥫ᭡inspiration: Fortnight by The Motherr Taylor Swift (ft.Post Malone)
ᥫ᭡listen to: Fortnight by The Motherr Taylor Swift (ft.Post Malone), happier by Olivia Rodrigo
ᥫ᭡Author's note: AHHHH, okay, woof. This is the first ever fanfic I'll post, tho I've written many but never posted. Please bare if there's any grammatical mistake and if my writing feels too much.
Show some love and your suggestions are welcome in the comment section 😗
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Hello Mrs. Park, how have you been?" You turn around to find Minji, speaking to you while watering the flowers of her front garden.
Minji, Jeon Minji. She always made you feel like the worst person, tho she never meant it. In fact,she's the sweetest and the kindest person you've ever known. And that's why, she's in the position you've always dreamed to be in. That's why she has the man you've always dreamt of.
And the fact, you can never be her nor in her position, makes you feel like the worst person on this earth.
"Hello, Mrs. Jeon, I've been doing just fine. How about you? " Tho your tongue burnt on the feeling of reffering her by the title,you still held up a smile. A smile behind which no one could see the pain. "I'm great, actually! But you, Mrs. Park, you look unwell." You sensed the concern to be genuine and you hated that. "Oh yeah, just tired from work. Yk it's too much these days." You replied, not wanting her to noticing anything wrong with you. "Ah, I understand. Work can get stressful, but I'm sure everything will get tell well soon." She smiles at you, and you see another reason why she's deserves the title more.
You smile back at her and thank her before leaving towards your house, your insides burning with the urge to kill her right then.
"There's a new couple shifting in the house behind ours" Jaehyun, your husband says while he's eating his breakfast. "Oh, in the Jung's? Didn't think they'll actually sell it" You reply, as you pack your lunch, not really caring for the fact. You forgot about it and the new info never crossed your mind once in the day.
It was when the bell rang and you opened the door only to face the new neighbors. Him, Oh god, It's him. Your excitement died the next second when you saw a very pretty women standing right beside him, her arm wrapped around his. "Oh-Oh hey Y/N. I totally didn't expect you! " His face evident with surprise. "You know her, babe?" The woman asked him. "Yeah, hun. She's a college friend. " That's when you felt your heart clench tightly.
Jeon Jungkook, the guy who you've been loving since your collage days even when you got married. The guy you thought of every night before you slept, the guy you thought about when woke up in the morning, the guy you thought about everytime when you ate icecream. Jeon Jungkook, was your friend who you trusted with your life. But now, he was just a stranger you know everything about. (Stranger by the loml Olivia Rodrigo, but the oc isn't over kookie😩)
"H-Hi. How are you J-Jungkook." You couldn't believe it. You've cried so many nights for him. Praying to get back in his arms, have him in your life as anyone, if not a lover. But now that he comes back, he's married. And very happily, you can see.
"I'm doing very well, Y/N. This is Jeon Minji, my wife. We have just shifted in the house right behind your backyard. So nice to see you again." You could feel your eyes pinch with pain, but you tried your best to pull up a bright smile. You can do this, you're very good at hiding feelings. Come on Y/N. "
I'm so happy to see you too. And hello Minji, nice to meet you. Well come in you both. " You move aside for them to come in but the refuse by saying, " It's fine, Y/N. We were just her to Introduce, but guess we don't need to do that. " Minji chuckles and continues, "But we'll see you soon. Have a good night. " She smiles at you, and you feel your legs tickling with jealousy. "You too have a good night, and please don't hesitate if you need any help in shifting. Both me and my husband are willing to help."
You fail to notice Jungkook stiffen as he's reminded that you're married too. He doesn't know why but he's always been uneasy with you being in a relationship and he has no idea why.
Both of them agree and leave after a short goodbye. You shut the door and you suddenly feel all the strength leaving your body. You collapse against the main door, still not believing everything that happened. All the memories that you were burying, we're now out of your control . You could hear his voice, feel his touch and his warmth. Tears made their way out of your eyes as you cry silently.
You unlock the main door to your house as you get inside. It's been so long since they've moved but you can't get yourself to move on. You reach the kitchen to grab a can of bear in an attempt to calm yourself down. But nothing seems to work, every drink or drug, leaves only a temporary effect. You continue loving jungkook even when you're high. You decide to take a cold shower when you hear the main door open again, only to see your shitty husband entering.
Jaehyun, both as a husband and a person, might be the worst guy you've ever met. You don't understand how he's able to lie on your face so smoothly. If you had control, you would have never married him. But fate and your parents had a different plan for you.
Around 2 months ago, your friend Sarah sent you a picture of Jaehyun with a girl sitting on his lap, and they were heavily making out. You didn't feel any pain in your heart but only shame, it felt like he had stepped hard on your dignity, your self respect. He made you feel like the most undeserving person, and he definitely did that intentionaly.
Ever since then, you've never started and conversation with him, disgusted to even look at him. And you guess, it makes it easier for him to leave the house whenever and stay at the girl's place. But you don't bring yourself to care, your mind always drift to jungkook and his very happy married life.
They're living their best lives, the typical rom-com like love life. Jungkook never leaves without a kiss with his wife. And Minji is always ready to welcome him by door when it's time for him to return.
When you had the same time routine, you always witnessed them being the happiest around each other and you had to change your timings. You couldn't bare seeing them being all lovey-dovey, so you leave for work earlier and arrive back home later.
"Y/N? " You were too drunk to hear him calling you. He called you out a few times before his hands reach your right arm to turn you around. "What the fuck!" You slurred, your drunkenness now evident to jungkook. "What are you doing here Y/N?? " He asks you with a strict voice, which soon melts when he sees you pout. "Kook, oh it's you thank god. I thought It was some guy again. " You said slowly as you moved closer to him. You were too drunk and high to remember the argument you had earlier. "Let's get you home Y/N. Don't you have morning classes tomorrow,hm? " He speaks very softly, as is talking to a kid. You mover your side to side, disagreeing with him and then you say, "Noo, let's have another drink and dance. I missed youuu" You wrap your arms around his neck, as your pouts grows even more. He chuckles while holding your waist just as tightly as you're holding him.
He agrees with you and empties the red cup you were having rum and coke in. Both of you weren't a fan of frat parties but whenever you're both together, everything feels the best. Jungkook's breathe fans over your neck as you both dance along On the floor by JLo.
When the chorus of the song starts you along with most of the other girls turn around to twerk along, as if it's a mandatory ritual. Jungkook's cheeks and ears turn bright pink as your ass grazed his crotch a few times while dancing and he wishes you don't notice. You turn back around to hold him again because when you weren't, you felt a certain type of coldness even when you're in bw so many people. His warmth was something which can get you just as high as a joint.
Both of you melted in each other's arms and stayed that way for so long, you didn't even know what song was playing now. "Mhmm, kookie can i kiss you? Just once I promise. " Jungkook wanted it, he wanted you to kiss him forever but he knew it's not safe for your friendship. He can't let his feelings over take him because he knows you only see him as a friend (who you might kiss sometimes 🤭) but how can he say no to you, especially when you're being so cute and adorable. So he decides to fuck it and bend down to kiss you. He captures your lips in a kiss as you both make out in the middle of the crowd. Jungkook felt like the luckiest person ever to have you like this. He has always been so happy that you're open to him with your feelings and uhm.
And you felt similar, just as euphoric and wanted this moment to last forever. Oh, how you wish to have him in all the ways possible. Even pray for it at every 11:11 you notice. And everything feels so good with him around. You were so in love with him but you knew he wasn't.
He has always been the best friend, the bestest you could ask for. But best friends can never be together, thec can never have feelings for each other because it always results in heartbreaks.
And so it did, both of yours heart broke quite terribly. When jungkook had to leave for USA after he got a job placement but he told you about it just 2 days before. Out of anger, you didn't talk to him neither did you come to see him off at the airport. Both of you were hurt, and you both had your reasons.
Next morning when you were returning from a morning run, you ran into Jungkook by the mail box. "Good Morning, Y/N" He wishes you and you just wanted to jump in his arms. "Oh, Good Morning to you too Jungkook! " You wished him back trying to match his level of energy. "How have you been? " You ask him further.
"I've been great, what about you? "
"I'm doing well too. " You reply, knowing you always feel well around him. "Good to hear that. The weather has been terrible these days" He says, trying to start a conversation.
"Yeah, ikr. It's so hot these days,even when it's just February." You both continue talking about random things when he invites you and Jaehyun over for dinner.
"Thank you for the invite, but i don't think Jaehyun will be able to make it, he comes back late these days. " You say and Jungkook could sense your hesitation on the topic of your husband. And ofc, him being the kindest human being , he asked, "oh, btw, is everything fine between you both? Minji mentioned you being very stressed these days. You know you can always reach out. " with concern evident in his eyes.
It became difficult to maintain an eye contact because you both know how terrible you're at lying to him. "W-well, yeah everything is fine between us" You say, your eyes roaming everywhere but jungkook. He knows that's not the truth so he persuades, "Y/N, yk you can't lie to me so tell me what's up? " When you finally meet his eyes, you feel like crying.
He thinks your misery is because of your husband but who's gonna tell him that he's the reason. He's why you're suffering, he's why you're depressed and he's the reason of your misery. You give him a little smile, and when you're about to continue, you get a phone call from your husband. "Uhh, I'll have to take this up. " You tell him and he says, "okay Y/N, I'll get going but please ask for any help that you need, hm? " With that you both smile at each other and leave.
"What? " You ask Jaehyun. "You're not at home? Where are you? " You turn around and see him at the main door. You scoff realising that he's coming back from that girl's place and you want to kill him right there.
It had been a week since you met him and now you were walking towards their house around 10pm. Your dad had been calling since morning but you couldn't answer his once . Though you're high as fuck but you can't find your phone, and that's why you're going to jungkook's place to ask for any of theirs phone.
You ring the bell and wait there for a few seconds. The gate opens and you're met with a just out of shower Jungkook. Your breathe hitches and you feel your cheeks burning. He's just as hot. "Umm, hi Y/N.all good? " He speaks, breaking your trance.
"Oh hellooo" You give him a 90° bow which startles him "I'm good how are youu? " Your words trail of as your brain suddenly feels numb. "Wait- are you drunk? " He recognises your drunken voice but you deny him by saying,
"Noooo. I'm not drunkk I'm Highh hehe" You start giggling and it confuses hi even more "I'm sorry to disturb you at this hour, but i need your phone." You pout, and jungkook feels like he's floating. He knows how it is, but your pout still softens him. "Come inside, it's cold. "
"Your wife isn't at home? " You ask him to which he replies, "no she's out with her friends for drinks."
"Oh cool"
You get inside his house and are amazed how pretty they've made it. This place screams jungkook and it feels so much like home. "So what brings you here? " He asks, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Ohh yeahh my phone was calling and I need to call him back but i can't find my dad" You pout again. This time he chuckles, laughing at your words.
"You can't find your dad?" His lips pulling into his iconic bunny smile.
"Yeahh, I can't find my dad. Can you give me your dad so i can call my dad, pleaseeee"
"Here you go, here's my dad" If you both were still young , he would've have teased you a lot. But you both have grown up and even though he wanted to, he couldn't.
"Thank you so muchhhh" You busy yourself dialing your no. when he asked you, "where's your husband tho? "
You were trying so hard to dial your no. correct, that you didn't realize when you said, "he's probably at his girlfriend's. "
"What"
"Holy fuck"
"Shit shit, you didn't hear anything" Your eyes widen with horror and you scolded yourself internally. "Wait fr? Jaehyun's cheating on you? And you know that?? " His eye balls almost out of the sockets, shock evident in his voice.
"Uhh, no no, Yk I'm-im drunk, don't mind that" You tried to play it off but jungkook wouldn't even budge. "Y/N, ik you're telling the truth, you don't have to lie to me. " His eyes full of concern and once again you feel your brain going numb. And you were starting to feel sober, which was even worse.
"Uhmm, I'll have to take your phone over so i can listen to my phone ring. " You ran quickly in an attempt to save yourself from further embarrassment.
Later in your room, you find your phone in your bathroom floor (you have no idea why) And now you have to return jungkook's phone back to him.
You gather so courage and reach his house. You plan on giving it to him and leaving right after thanking him.
And you did so, but after you turned around to leave, he held you arm in an attempt to turn you back. "Y/N, please talk to me. How long have you known this? " You see genuine concern in his eyes and feek like hugging him and crying on his chest.
"Uhh, just let it be jungkook."
"No, tell me. " His voice stern now.
"Why do you even care. It's nine of your business"
"But i just can't see you get hurt. " His voice soft again.
You looked in his eyes, and scoffed. "You can't se me hurt? Of all the hurt I've ever experienced, you have been one reason every fucking time. And you can't see me hurt? Wow"
Jungkook's face falls,but that doesn't stop you. "You fucking hurt me more than anyone does. I don't even care jaehyun's cheating one. It doesn't hurt me. But you do. You hurt me so much that i can't even feel any other pain. " Your voice now louder. Your eyes pinch with pain, tears threatening to fall. But no, you can't do this, not in front of him at least.
"How do i hurt you? " His voice low like a whisper. "Good question Jungkook. You wanna know how you hurt me? How don't wanna know since when you've been hurting me? "
"Y/N you're still mad at what happened almost 10 years ago? " A frown appears on his face and his tone makes you feel as if you're at fault.
"I wouldn't have been if it didn't affect me so much. And why do expect me to not? You told me fucking 2 days before you were leaving for Florida? You never called while you were there. You were living your life and here I was dying. I was suffering." Years finally rolled down your cheeks. And jungkook wanted to wile them down and hug you to make you feel better.
But he was feeling the similar frustration you were feeling. And it became evident when he said, " You weren't the only one Y/N! I was also hurt. You didn't even come to see me off at the airport even when I texted-begged you over text. I wanted to apologize you that day and tell you something important. But you decided to be egoistic and didn't come. And that's why I never called. Even when I was in utter need of help and support, I couldn't call you. Because I lost the level of trust and I knew you won't even pick up. "
His word felt like slap. He's right, you were being a bitch when you didn't meet of on the last day, but you were mad too. "I would have, I was missing you so much, I would have definitely. I would have caught the first flight to Florida only to be with you again." Your words were now slurred due to your crying, when you finally broke and jungkook felt like crying too.
"I know it's wrong, it's so so so wrong but I can't help myself. I can't control myself" You covered your face as you cried even harder. And when you felt his arms engulfing you, you couldn't hepl but wrap your arms around him too. Jungkook stands there caressing your back while he himself cries silently.
"It's so wrong I still can't move on-" Jungkook's heart picks up speed. He's not ready for this. You suddenly pulll away from him and wipe your tears. "I'll get going jungkook. " You left before you could do something that maight ruin not one but many hearts.
And for the next few weeks you so neither jungkook nor his wife and you were very glad for it. It was untill one Tuesday morning when you swa both of them in front of their house. And they were not kissing or anything but arguing? You heard Minji saying, "what has happened to you? You're so distant these days kook. You don't even kiss me a goodbye??" To which jungkook replies, "it's nothing baby, I'm just stressed with work and things are getting lost in the back of me brain. Come here lemme kiss you" You were shocked when you heard Minji saying "No, you're first gonna tell me who else you're so in love with"
"What the hell, Minji? Why would you say that? " Jungkook was just as shocked. You didn't want to hear anything further so you stepped out of the fence and that's when Minji calls you out. "Mrs.Park! Good morning!"
And hearing your name from her mouth, Jungkook's eyes light up and he turns around quickly to look at you. He couldn't control but then he blurted out, "Nice sweater, Y/N."
Minji called you out to check something and she was right. She was right. "Oh Good morning, Jeon fam. And thank you Jungkook. Hope you guys have a nice day!" You wished them and hurriedly left.
And so did Minji. Jungkook was left standing there.
It took him 2 minutes to finally understand how he reacted and complimented you which was totally out of his mind.
And he finally realises how fucked up he is.
#jungkook x reader#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#bts imagine#jungkook imagine#jungkook#jeon jungkoooook#jeon jungkook#jungkook fanfic#bts#bts ff#bts ff recs#bts ffs#taylor swift#fortnight#olivia rodrigo
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Why is the daddy dom characterization so common with pre-nibelheim Sephiroth in fanfics. Does that look like a man who knows how to fuck, to you?
If someone does anything sexy in front of him, he would give them the Seph equivalent of a frog blink. That man is tired.
Lol jokes aside, I suspect for someone who has had his bodily autonomy dictated by lab techs and Hojo for the entirety of his life, he wouldn't be raring to have one night stands with complete strangers in his free time. Sure you could argue that sexual intercourse would be a way to regain a little control of autonomy, but I don't think it's likely when it would be with strangers that - not only never sees Sephiroth as anything but the famed legend (an image he doesn't like btw) which is likely accompanied by unwanted expectations of what he's like in bed, but complete strangers that could've also been sent to like. Assassinate the most important asset that Shinra has?
My point being that I don't think Sephiroth really had any safe space to explore what he likes for something like sex - and since it isn't necessary for his duty as a soldier, and may even count as unwanted distraction and vulnerability - Sephiroth likely discarded any interest in it entirely. That is, if he had any interest at all in the first place. You could also assume he could explore it with people he IS close with (ex. Angeal, Genesis etc.) but in those scenarios he wouldn't exactly know off the bat what he likes, or be self assured in any sense.
Trigger Warning (implication of SA/dubious consent): Of course you could also explore the darker side of this, which is that Sephiroth has experience because he didn't have a say in it, bc the company used him/trained him as an asset in this aspect as well. Which is an entirely different discussion to be had, so I won't go into it any further here.
And I think despite the suggestive shit that post-nibelheim Seph says to Cloud, his mind is not on anything sexual in actuality. He's likely aware of the effect flirtation and innuendo can have on people - disgust or interest or whatever would distract an opponent. Or he's just entirely unaware of - or does not care how else his words can be taken. He's a drama queen, but his goals have been pretty clear post insanity, and they have nothing to do with something as mundane as sex. So his demeanour after Jenova isn't that applicable (also we know that square Enix was like heehee we figured you would like this dialogue, so there is also that).
Basically, while I understand Sephiroth is a cool character for exploring fantasies (valid, go ham) - in terms of if you're trying to be accurate to canon characterizations, fics where he's written as a suave dom/top gets a bit of a question mark from me??
I feel like what makes more sense for ships involving pre-nibelheim Seph (including those sefikura time travel fixits that I'm mildly obsessed with) would be uncertainty. Here is finally someone who he actually feels safe to explore this aspect with, and it's natural for exploration to involve stumbles. And I don't think Seph would rule out submission or bottoming as an option in regards to himself either. Or switching/versatility. As someone trained to be objective or logical when tackling anything really - he would probably go about it methodically. So why not try it all to gather data?
What his and his partners' eventual preferences are gonna be is author's choice of course lmao
Also a disclaimer before I end it here - this post is purely because I find discussion on this interesting. If you disagree, or just wanna write what you wanna see, definitely do that and disregard what I've said. Fanfic is supposed to be self indulgent, so who gives a shit what other people think.
#I don't know if it's actually that common now it's just i've been looking at old fics#btw i posted this entirely by accident my tumblr glitched and now i have to contend with this post existing on the internet#final fantasy vii#sephiroth#i'm gonna tag all the ships i've seen this characterization in#sefikura#sephgen#sephzack
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Within the past 72 hours the TGM fandom got a fire put under it's ass, for lack of a better term/phrase. Even though I'm not as active in the fandom anymore, it did make me want to talk about a few things. This isn't the first time that I've had to make a post similar to this, usually speaking about reblogs and keeping your fanfic writers feeling wanted within the fandom spaces, but today I'm going to talk more about fandom etiquette and my experiences in fandom spaces. So, if you want to hear my opinion on fandom etiquette, how I learned fandom etiquette, and my thoughts about the doxing situation that has happened, keep on reading.
My Fandom Experience.
The first fandom that I was ever a part of was The Hunger Games fandom in the 8th grade (if you don't include my anime fandoms). I was 12-13 at the time. This was when I was first introduced to Tumblr and being involved within a fandom online. At the time I was super young, barely even knew who I was as a person, let alone in a fandom space. All I did was reblog little gifsets and fawn over Josh Hutcherson. I remember getting my first hate anon, even though I didn't do anything that would generate that to even happen. Even when I was 12-13, I couldn't understand why anyone would send a hate anon. That was when I found out a friend of mine found my Tumblr and actually secretly hated me, so she sent me hate anons. Still, before I knew it was her I didn't understand.
Fandoms were a formative part of my childhood. I think that main one that helped form me though was the Supernatural (yeah, I know, eye roll), Naruto, and The Hobbit fandoms. I had made friends on Tumblr and Instagram through these fandoms. During these times was when I had first started consuming fanfiction. Specifically, destiel and thilbo fanfiction. This is how I started to find the things in fanfiction that I loved, and the things that I hated. Instead of sending hate to the writers for their thoughts and stories that I didn't agree with, I would back out of the story or just scroll past. Not only that, I also started to use the filters on AO3 constantly, ensuring that I was only reading the fics that I knew I'd enjoy. Also, I was careful to read warnings and tags prior to reading the fic. Never once did I blame the writer for something that I knew I didn't like and accidentally read or read for see what it was about.
After high school was when I started getting into fanfiction writing. I've written for a lot of fandoms during this time. The IT movies, Total Drama, Haikyuu, Attack on Titan, Marvel, Bridgerton, Top Gun: Maverick, and currently ASOIAF. As a writer I've never gotten hate, thankfully, but I have had a lot of friends that have. It's sad to see so many people who take the time to write, whether it's enjoyable or not, receive hate. As writers we are simply expressing our creativity for the things that we love. Since posting fanfiction on tumblr, I have experienced a lot of people pestering for new updates and when the next fic is, and so have a lot of other writers on here. Even though people only know us as a little icon and username, fanfiction writers are people. We have lives outside of writing fanfiction. Everyone also isn't the same type writer. One person may easily write multiple fics every week, some of us take longer, and some of us are even just passion writers (me lol).
The TGM fandom has been one of the most negative fandom experiences I've ever seen/had. It is full of some of the meanest people/anons I've ever seen. From writers being attacked for fic ideas, people being sent hate for something that the anon has full control over, and people constantly expecting new stories to read on the daily. Yes, I do know that other fandoms have these issues, but it seems to be almost a weekly, hell, even daily thing within this fandom. A lot of the issues that I see happen in this fandom are from people who don't understand fandom etiquette.
Fandom Etiquette.
If you had noticed there was a few things I put in bold above. These are key things that I learned during my time that attribute to fandom etiquette. So without further a do, I'll list out some fandom etiquette rules that I follow all the time.
Don't send hate anons to people
Block/unfollow people you don't like
If you don't like an idea or fic, don't read it
Read through all warnings and tags that the writer provided
Use AO3 filters
Don't blame the writer/creator for reading things they created that you actively know you don't like
Writers/Creators aren't "content farms"
There are people behind these blogs/usernames, treat them like someone you'd see on the street
Writers/Creators are expressing love/passion for something, don't hate them for doing that
If you see something fandom related that you don't like, scroll past it or ignore it
YOU CURATE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE (ESPECIALLY ON TUMBLR)
The Doxing Situation.
For those who are unaware but decided to read this anyways, recently there was a writer (Mama Mayhem) on here who got doxed from another writer in the fandom. Mayhem has since lost her job due to the doxing. This was apparently from her breaking HIPAA by posting a picture into a private groupchat/discord. This picture was posted almost a half year ago. Meaning that the person who reported/doxed Mayhem had known about this picture for months and only recently decided to do something about it.
I'll start by saying that I also work in healthcare, and know many other people here who do. I understand that a HIPAA violation is 100% an offense that gets you fired. I'm not excusing the HIPAA violation if one did occur.
Some people have brought up the idea that maybe the person that reported the picture, and doxed Mayhem, was doing it out of the goodness of their heart. Due to the timeline of it all, that doesn't seem likely. I had a previous coworker get fired for HIPAA violations and it took a total of a week from the initial report for her to be gone.
The biggest thing I want to convey is that TWO WRONGS CAN HAPPEN AT THE SAME TIME. Yes, if Mayhem violated HIPAA, it is wrong. But at the same time, the person held onto this information for months only to use it out of spite, pettiness, and cruelty, is wrong.
My Thoughts.
Due to Mayhem being doxed, a lot of people have decided to leave this platform, take indefinite hiatuses, stop writing, or move to AO3 exclusively., and I don't blame them. I'll be honest, I'm thinking about moving to AO3 exclusively now. AO3 feels a lot more rewarding in my experience. I already only post my fics for ships to AO3, so why not just post everything on AO3 (which I usually do).
I think a lot of people have forgot what it feels like to feel shame in something they say or do. When I say this, it's directed towards people who send hate or do other malicious things in fandom spaces. Fandoms were never this clique-ish and mean. I think it has to do with the pandemic, meaning that a lot of people who would have never joined a fandom did because they weren't allowed to do anything outside of their house. So, those mean girls that made fun of fandom girlies (g/n) previously, joined the fandoms and decided started bullying the people within them.
This situation is super shitty and people are now scared. It makes complete sense, especially after seeing someone, that many of you were close to, be doxed. A lot of people are scared of it happening to them now. I don't think this fandom will be the same after this situation, but who knows, maybe everyone will just forget and move on. Either way, I think I'll be taking a step back from the TGM fandom. I'll still be here, but until further notice, I won't be posting any TGM fanfiction. Maybe a gifset/picture here and there, but I don't think this is a fandom I feel comfortable writing for anymore.
If you've read all of this, thank you.
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Short Version: I don't even know how to begin explaining this, so take these 'fic doodles with no context.
Wish Fixers, my chronically unhelpful beloved...
Long Version (City Lights AU #ridspoilers beyond the above implication. Mentions of death and trauma; it gets pretty dark)
Nalooksthrough, I tag you below because I cited your co-dependent toxic friendship comic and said it was cool- If you don't want to click, that's all the tag was :)
So I started outlining my Dale backstory 'fic (Lemonade and Papercuts) since I am the most predictable person alive and of COURSE I can't resist 7 years of trauma and intimacy anxiety <3. But planning a 'fic like this requires many pieces and many questions.
First and most obvious- How did Vicky lure in Dale? From previous planning, I've already decided that since they're the same age (maybe one year off), they probably knew each other in school or activities.
Ex: Squirrely Scouts & Cream Puffs... Not unreasonable- Throughout the series, many kids participate and the organizations seem to have a big following in Dimmsdale. Vicky's sister Tootie is in the Cream Puffs and Vicky is seen bossing them around in the Season 0 episode "Scout's Honor" ("Oh Yeah! Cartoons"). There's a comic by the same name depicting Remy in Squirrely Scouts (after "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" but before he gets his memories back in "Remy Rides Again" and I always thought it was cute). I mean, look at him:
Pictures courtesy of the FOP Wiki
It's not unreasonable that Dale - who's also rich - might've gotten into that (especially since Doug is big on the cowboy theming and of all the rich parents, he's probably the one most okay with his son playing in dirt). Something scout-related could be an option even if Dale and Vicky went to different schools.
A friendship that gets increasingly toxic until it spirals into full-on abuse sounds really interesting (and @nalooksthrough portrayed this idea beautifully imo in THIS comic I can't stop thinking about).
Sounds fun to write, so let's go with that. What's next?
Hey, remember when 7 years ago, I headcanon'd H.P. as Dale's godfather because of this doodle in Da Rules that specifically refers to Pixie godparents and depicts a fluffy-haired kid in a purple shirt?
I recently found out I still had Dale listed as a godchild of H.P. on his full character profile on my fanfic sideblog. I was waffling over whether to retcon that (since I hadn't yet done anything with it), but I started brainstorming whether I COULD do anything with it.
I've always written Wish Fixers in 'fic [e.g. Origin of the Pixies] as a therapy business run by H.P.'s dad (which H.P. bought off him out of spite despite not being licensed for therapy) but, like...
Does Jorgen know H.P. isn't licensed? I can't see why he would... As far as he knows, H.P. owns and runs the place- especially given my lore that Wish Fixers has been in his family for many generations. Sounds qualified to me!
In "School's Out! The Musical" (episode that Da Rules screenshot is from), we learn Pixies are at the back of the line for godparent work, even under creatures like unicorns (Hence the Musical's plot requiring them to remove magical creatures from earth before they could assign themselves to Flappy Bob).
I said in a recent liveblog post that I'd always imagined this was a punishment given to them due to H.P. absolutely failing as godfather to Dale- Thus, the origin of the doodle on the page for that rule. But... I never decided what happened.
See, Dale SEEMS like a guy who would qualify for a fairy. He was probably pretty miserable under Vicky's 7 years of torture and he's still holding onto that trauma in his adulthood.
DID he have a fairy?
I'm just saying, we know from S4's "Wish Fixers" that H.P. is legally(?) allowed to make contracts that swap a fairy godparent with a pixie one if godkids choose to sign of their own free will... Hmm... I'm connecting dots I don't think I like... (I am lying).
I mean?? Dale clearly did not get out of the pit due to magical interference. If I'm committing to the doodle being Dale and reflecting an actual godfather-godson dynamic between him and H.P., then something sure went wrong there. I can't NOT make Dale suffer...
What on earth could've made Dale sign a contract for something a fairy couldn't give him? We know from "Nectar of the Odds" canon that he wished to see his dad, and thanks to previous liveblogs, I DO already have a headcanon of Dale being extremely desperate for his dad's love... Hmm... I can work with that.
I went down a rabbit hole trying to answer the question of how Vicky secured lemons for 7 years for Dale (and other kids) to work with. Here are some lemon tree facts:
- Lemon trees bear fruit after only a few years - They can bear fruit multiple times a year (depending on variety) - A single lemon tree can produce 1,500 lemons in one growing season - Dimmsdale is in California - a state known for lemon orchards.
That feels likely... An orchard of even a few trees can keep you going for a while.
But lemonade doesn't sell for much compared to other things Vicky could've set a kidnapped child up to do (Ex: In "Microphony," she has kids doing a bunch of other tasks like answering phones for her babysitting service, painting houses, and washing cars).
So... WHY lemonade? What is going on that makes this the thing Vicky has Dale do for 7 years?
And who owns the orchard? I need Vicky to obtain lemons without being stopped for 7 years.
Is it a Dimmadome orchard? Maybe, but several episodes imply Vicky's not familiar with the Dimmadomes - and she probably would have turned Dale in for cash reward if given the chance - so those are two things I need to keep in mind.
Does the orchard belong to her family? That's a possibility- Vicky is shown drinking lemonade after "Nectar of the Odds." She definitely could've bought it - It can't be too expensive unless prices were jacked up after she lost her cheap labor - but it's a drink she's seen with in multiple episodes. She definitely likes it.
And we know from "Timmy's 2D House of Horror" that Vicky's parents are terrified of her. It's not likely they'd stop her from taking lemons from the family orchard.
One problem... If Dale goes missing when he's about 9 (Closer to 7 or 8 in my planned timeline), Vicky is also 9 or younger. Are her parents scared of her when she's that small and inexperienced in the ways of the world?
In "The Switch Glitch," she's 5 and seems mild and sweet until 10-year-old Timmy mistreats her- She clearly didn't have memories of Timmy, implying she totally regressed to how she acted when she really was 5. Worth pointing out she goes off the deep end and chains up Cosmo and Wanda, so... she IS mean even at age 5. But also, she's 5. She wears the same purple hair bow in "Switch Glitch" (at 5) that she does when Timmy drains the meanness out of her in "Vicky Loses Her Icky," which is interesting.
So that begs the question... Can I turn my Dale backstory 'fic into a double story of Dale abuse AND Vicky going from a pretty innocent child to Totally Messed Up? Keeping in mind that according to Vicky in A New Wish, Vicky IS the one responsible for abusing him and he "spent 7 years' worth of Saturdays in a factory underneath a lemonade stand."
If that's the way I want to play it... Something happened to send Dale and Vicky down the dual victim-and-abuser path, destinies intertwined. And for some reason, Vicky stuck with the lemonade theme.
Dale just says he spent his Saturdays "in a factory underneath a lemonade stand." It's not out of the question he and Vicky made more lemon products than just lemonade, especially given Vicky's love for money (and those 600 lbs of lemons one tree can produce in a year). We can assume they changed locations a few times or someone would've found the trapdoor on Timmy's lawn. Plus when Dale started his abuse, Vicky hadn't started babysitting Timmy, whom she only met when he was 8.
So, I've set Dale up to be lured in by Vicky because they were friends. I like the idea of things gradually getting worse as Vicky slowly morphs from a friend into a very cruel person. If Vicky was bullying him, what stopped him from just... leaving?
Vicky's transformation was probably subtle if he stayed for so long..... I also pointed out in a recent post that Doug's underground milk empire where he uses hypnotized people for labor bears a striking amount of similarities with Vicky's lemonade stand, even down to the general vibes of "trapdoor entrance" (although it's implied there's another entrance in small building).
And if we want to be technical about things... We don't know if Doug and Dale pressed charges against Vicky. She clearly continues to babysit Timmy and other kids after "Nectar of the Odds" (Season 2).
In Season 4 ("Channel Chasers"), Doug remarks that Timmy's parents should've guessed Vicky was evil because of the Chip Skylark song "Icky Vicky," but he doesn't mention Vicky kidnapping his son. That's.... sus. He even offers to buy a car from her in Season 3's "Engine Blocked" (after Dale's escape).
Why would such a powerful guy let all of that slide? Did they just not have enough proof? Did Vicky wipe the place clean? Did Dale "not want to make a big deal about it" because he was so exhausted and grateful, he just didn't want to think about it or struggle with the legal system? Was he covering for her?? Was he scared to speak up?
... Did Dale not tell his dad the whole truth about where he was?
What if Dale was - in some vague and early concept way - in on the lemonade scheme from the beginning, back when he and Vicky were friends and she wasn't so cruel? Maybe she turned on him and sentenced him to the pit before long?
Why the underground-ness of it? Why the lemonade, which probably doesn't turn much profit... as lemonade. Unless you have unrestrained access to tons of lemons that you can turn into multiple products - Dale DID call it a factory - and no one is stopping you from accessing them...
... but how do you set up a situation where kids have access to a whole lemon orchard - presumably carefully maintained - and the adults don't take it away from them (Because... surely they would've found Dale and multiple other kids if they strayed close).
And Dale didn't leave. He does in "Nectar of the Odds" - apparently of his own volition - but not before. Was he kept there mentally as well as physically?
We KNOW Vicky can't be monitoring him 24/7 because "Nectar of the Odds" is the only episode depicting her paying attention to him, while others show her doing many other things in many other places (though it's worth noting Dale says in that episode that "Vicky's kept him locked up for so long").
Did he stay so long because it was the perceived better fate up until he miraculously crossed paths with his dad (via fairy magic) and took the risk? Would he have gone back in?
Maybe it wasn't supposed to get this out of hand. Dale and Vicky were young when this started... Somewhere between 7 and 9 (given that Dale was kept there for 7 years and Vicky is 16 when he escaped and he tells 9-year-old Dev this happened when he was Dev's age).
Maybe there was an accident. Something not just Vicky, but even Dale felt the need to cover up, especially in regards to the orchard and the fact that it needs to be Vicky's consistent source of lemons (and not something she lost out on before Dale's escape... an illusion of ownership maintained. Kids can't own the orchard, but what if they fooled people into believing it wasn't owned by kids?)
Hmm... some kind of accident that got two mostly innocent kids into huge trouble, thus setting up a horribly intertwined fate where if one of these toxic co-dependent friends backs out and squeals, even the squealer might suffer worse compared to trucking along on the cruel existing path.
tl;dr - if Vicky and Dale accidentally killed the orchard owner but they were kids and terrified to tell an adult lest they go to jail for life so they hid the body in the basement (or like ?? threw it to the coyotes or hyenas that inexplicably lurk on the fringes of Dimmsdale??) and are trying desperately to wipe their hands of this by pretending the lemon orchard is still operational so no one investigates until they can figure out a plan, and then Vicky hardens herself as a trauma response and manipulates Dale into believing it was solely his fault and she'll pin him with murder charges if he gets cold feet and turns her in, and he's miserable and gets a fairy (then loses his fairy via Pixie contract through Wish Fixers, presumably in an attempt to negotiate a way to protect himself from Vicky and somehow not gaining the ire of his father) and then H.P. (lawyer and unlicensed yet de facto therapist pulled two ways) is suddenly Dale's godfather and trying to comprehend what the flip is going on between misery and manslaughter while he's also juggling Gary, Betty, and Flappy Bob at the same time in preparation for the Musical because we know he spent 37 years on that plan...
... Would that be one messed-up yet hyperspecifically canon-compliant 'fic or what?
These thoughts have been haunting me all weekend and I HAD to get my "I'm not that kind of lawyer or therapist" joke out of my system, so there's your context. #Sorry. Is this the direction the actual 'fic will go? ... It's not the direction I really had in mind, but ?? It's off the wall and therefore I must shake it in my teeth. I can't not write Dale backstory this horrific. what. hey.
#Fairly OddParents#FOP Vicky#Head Pixie#City Lights AU#Dale Dimmadome owner of Dimmadome Global#What if I just messed him up beyond belief actually#I don't really have a defense for this I just thought it would be funny but then I thought about logistics and ?? :'D#If I told you this was my toned-down outline after several versions that felt horrific even for me what would u say#Lemonade and Papercuts#FAIRIES!#Red babysitter#ridwriting#apparently art#I'm wasp dad trash#Gary and Betty#ridspoilers#If anyone was wondering Gary and Betty are a year apart in school due to the birthdays I gave them so... I just drew Gary#(Vicky and Dale’s age)#dead dove#Toxic lemon duo
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Let's talk about Miles G./Prowler Miles and his characterization in fanfics/headcanons
I'm gonna refer to him as 42-Miles throughout this analysis btw
Fairly short post, about 1.1k words with pictures and gifs to help explain <3
Summary: I'm gonna analyze his characterization as being angry/aggressive, I'm gonna talk about his backstory a little bit and compare him to the original Prowler and then I'm gonna rant about his sexualization a little bit as well.
1. Characterizing him as angry/aggressive
Most of the fanfictions/headcanons that I've read treat 42-Miles like a thug. They act like he would be overly aggressive toward the reader/y/n and often characterize him as slightly misogynistic and a bully. One question. HOW? I genuinely don't understand where people get these headcanons from. You're telling me that this guy, who is literally the exact same person as Miles Morales, would be a cheating, narcissistic asshole who needs to be fixed by some random girl? Are you kidding me? Do y'all think RIO MORALES would've allowed that to happen to her son? HELL NO.
This hispanic lady?? BFFR
In the scene between Miles and 42-Rio, we see her asking him to get groceries, cracking jokes with him and just having an absolutely lovely mother-son dynamic. Its because of this that I think that he's actually a sweet, kind boy who's just trying his best to take care of his family. This little thing that he and his mom have going on proves that 42-Miles is not a bad kid. He's a genuinely nice guy who was thrown into a crappy situation.
As for his whole "You can call me the Prowler" persona, that's obviously just a setup. Miles did the same thing in the first movie when he met Peter B. Parker. He tied him up to a punching bag and put on a slightly deeper voice to confront him. 42-Miles did the exact same thing. He tied up Miles to a punching bag and did his best to intimidate him with the claw and the voice. He's just trying to look cool in front of his twin, guys. He's not that way normally. If anything, he's just gonna be a slightly more depressed version of Miles, but he's still Miles.
Its practically the same scene.
This type of characterization happens a lot towards edgy black males in the media. The same thing happens with Hobie Brown. He's portrayed as cool, a rule-breaker and a punk and immediately, people characterize him as dirty and violent which are nasty stereotypes targeted towards African-Americans. 42-Miles is portrayed as intimidating and edgy and immediately people are quick to say that he would be an asshole and that he would be a bad boy which are also horrible stereotypes. This is blatant racism and its not cute or fun to read. If you want him to be aggressive in your fanfictions, give him an actual reason to be aggressive. Don't just assume that he would be, because if you really think about it, he wouldn't.
2. Calling him a murderer (The original prowler didn't kill people)
A lot of the fanfictions/headcanons that I've read that involved 42-Miles treat him like a murderer and romanticize the idea of him being a criminal. Authors write stories about him violently murdering thugs and beating people up for no reason. Any f.f. involving his identity as the Prowler usually has a killing scene written in or an implied murder scene.
It has been confirmed that 42-Miles is gonna be an anti-hero. Now the Aaron Davis version of the Prowler did kill people. However, he wasn't an anti-hero. If we're going to compare 42-Miles to a Prowler, we need to compare him to Hobie Brown, who was the original Prowler.
Hobie Brown was also an anti-hero who actually helped Spider-man multiple times throughout the comics. He never killed anyone and after trying to lead a life of crime, he actually ended up quitting. This suggests that 42-Miles would be similar if not the same, because its confirmed that he's fighting against the Sinister Six, and isn't a "villain" and therefore would not kill anyone.
He's also 15 years old. Why are people acting like a 15 year old would be a murderer? There is no way this 15 year old kid is going out into the streets and beating up thugs. This guy was supposed to be Spider-man, remember? He fights for justice and he fights against real villains, like Doc Ock, Scorpio, Rhino, all villains who are confirmed to exist in Earth-42.
This headcanon is extremely inaccurate and people really need to chill out on the whole "Prowler" aspect of his character, because he's still Miles. He isn't a whole new character. He's literally Miles Morales in a different font, and he's not gonna be a murderous maniac.
3. Sexualizing him (he's a minor!?!?!)
I'd say about 70-80% of the 42-Miles fanfictions that cross my feed contain smut. People age up Miles, not for the plot, not for the headcanons, but just to write smut.
Personally, when I read a fan fiction or a headcanon about a character, I imagine them in my head when I do. I genuinely read the fan fiction like it would be played out with the character. So to me, people who are writing these smutty fan fictions are imagining a minor in their head while doing these things. This is absolutely insane to me.
Now I know a lot of people are gonna come for me for saying this because "if you don't wanna read it then just scroll" and "he's aged up so its okay" but this is normalizing pedophilia.
Once again, I see the same thing happening with Hobie. Why? Once again, casual racism. People see an edgy black male and they immediately assume he'd be super sexual. The people writing smut about Miles are the same way. They see an attractive black teen and the first thing that pops up in their mind is "I'd let him fuck me." He's 15 years old. No one should be writing smut about this kid. He doesn't do anything sexual in the movie, he doesn't have a confirmed love interest, he was literally on screen for two minutes. Stop treating black characters like sex toys and enjoy their damn storylines.
I explained more on the sexualization of black characters in the media in this post here if you want to read more into it or still feel a little unsure about my analyzation. I included sources as well <3
This guy is a tired CHILD. LOOK AT HIS EYE BAGS
As for the whole "aging up" thing, aging up a character for a fan fiction and aging them up for smut are two very different things. I've read 42-Miles fanfictions where they age him up, but they actually add to the plot. This one fanfiction I read (I'll link it if I find it) aged him up to create a officer x criminal trope, which I found absolutely adorable. They were able to write an amazing story with zero smut. Compare this to people who are saying "I'm aging him up to 18 <3" and its just 4000 words of straight, gut-wrenching smut.
This genuinely disgusts me. I don't know if its just me who feels this way about his sexualization, but its so icky to think about. You're taking a literal child and imagining yourself doing all these things with him and posting it for the rest of the world to see. A lot of the people who write these fanfictions are 18+ which baffles me as well.
Stop sexualizing minors and stop aging up characters just for smut. It's messed up.
#hobie brown#across the spiderverse#atsv#atsv hobie#miles morales#prowler miles#spiderman atsv#spiderverse#atsv prowler#prowler miles x reader#miles morales prowler#earth 42 prowler#prowler x reader#the prowler#into the spiderverse#miles g#aaron davis#miles g morales#miles 42#earth 42 miles#earth 42#earth 42 miles morales#spiderverse miles#prowler hobie
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Hello! I figured it was time to make a master-post of all my writings and such. Thank you to all my new followers! I am always available if you'd like to talk spyxfamily theories, headcanons, fic ideas, etc., or if you'd just like someone to chat with. I am honored to be a small part of this amazing and talented fandom! I made a personal goal to write and gain confidence with it, and to make some fandom friends. So thank you for making this an enjoyable journey so far! 💛💐
My Fics:
~ For you, I can't contain my love: an ongoing multi-chapter fic centered on Loid and Yor going at it in semi-public places. I'm having a ton of fun writing it, and I keep thinking of random places they should bang at. 😅There's four chapters so far! Updated sporadically. Obviously NSFW.
~ If I kiss you now, will I come undone?: my version of events that take place after chapter 79. The one where Yor comes home drunk and tries to get a welcome home kiss.
~ Those who can't love: I think about Loid and Yor and their complicated feelings as they fall in love about, oh I'd say.. 500 times a day. So I wrote a fic about it!
~ Warm in their arms: a while ago I was sick in the hospital and a very kind person made this artwork to cheer me up. This fic tells that story, poor Anya is sick and needs her parents love and comfort.
~ Exposure: a short one-shot of Loid confessing to Yor after they find out each others secrets. It's probably my favorite fic I've written so far. Loid is very vulnerable here, and I love making my sweet boy a sensitive cry baby over his wife. 😇
~ Help me, I'm in love: I had so much fun writing this fic about Franky asking for dating advice from the Forgers. Yup! Loid, Yor, and Anya give out dating tips.
~ I'm a wallflower, watching you be: this fic is literally just Yor and Loid watching the other get ready for the day and being horny about it. I was inspired by a great fanart reminding us of Yor's affinity for sharp objects.
~ Pining: a short drabble (under 500 words) about Loid pining for Yor. And I mean PINING. Again, I love when Loid goes through it because of his wife.
~ The in-between: another short and sweet fic about how much Yor loves laying around with her husband and listening to him talk. So sweet I'm gonna barf.
~ Refrigerator Magnets: my very first fanfic ever was a silly story about Anya and Loid finding animal magnets and the family adventures linked to what they tack on the fridge.
My Meta Posts:
~ A little story about Anya and Becky taking dance classes and getting Loid's help for a recital.
~ Yor is obviously stinking rich, thanks to her assassin job.
~ My theory on the twiyor kiss agenda in the manga.
~ The manga shows us Anya's comfort level with Loid and Yor as her parents and I love it.
~ Endo hints about Project Apple in the manga, and I often wonder what that may mean.
~ "Agent Twilight is a hopeless romantic!!!" I shout from the rooftops as I reflect on a moment in the series that hints at his growing feelings for Yor.
~ Anya's stickers!
~ Here I point out all the sweet smiles Twilight saves just for his family.
~ My thoughts on the possibilities of a twiyor kiss.
~ There are a lot of loose ends and possible story hints that may tell us how the spyxfamily story is going to go.
~ My rambling feelings about Anya and her secret.
~ Twilight is the most hopeless of hopeless romantics! He loves love but never thought he would experience it for himself. But he's falling for his family. I can prove it!
~ I love Becky Blackbell! She is so supportive of Anya, and I love their friendship.
~ This isn't anything special, but I feel like it's right to end this on my thirst for Loidy-boy and the iconic shower scene.
If you've made it so far, thank you again for being here! I hope you and I can experience the best parts of our lovely spy family and their fandom for years to come!
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As someone who writes and someone who reads a lot of writing, I have something I'd like to say to other creators.
At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, I never leave comments. On anything. It's actually a habit I'm actively trying to break out of as I get further along into my writing career because I know how much comments mean to me and so I want to provide that for the creators I come across.
But the grand grand grand majority of work I have read and loved? I have never commented on. To this day, I have never written a review on Goodreads. Not even for books that have stuck with me since I was a child. I've never written a comment on any of the fanfiction I've read or on any Tumblr art that I come across.
I am speaking about work that has literally changed my life. There are fanfictions out there that I have remembered for years after I read them. The authors have no idea. I never wrote a comment letting them know. They have no clue how much their work meant to me and impacted me. Just yesterday I was thinking about a fan fiction I read when I was early in my teen years (so about 10 years ago or so). To be fair I don't think I could have written an eloquent comment at 13, but that's not the point. The point is that I remembered that fanfiction after 10 whole years and the creator doesn't have the slightest clue in the world that their words re-entered the mind of someone who has not revisited the work for a decade.
There are so many fanfictions that I have bookedmarked that I genuinely love to death, and I've never said anything under them. I still reread them to this day even though I bookmarked them when I was much younger. There are certain lines in them that have given me feelings that I have tried to replicate in my own writing. I hope that people who read my work can feel how I felt when I read some of the fanfics that I have saved on my phone. The creators, again, have literally no idea. Don't get me wrong: their fanfics have gotten comments from other people, but if I'm anything to go by then there are so many other people who never verbally expressed their love even though they absolutely do have love for the work.
To be quite honest I am just not the type of person who thinks to write comments. Even though I fully understand how much comments mean to creators (which is why I'm going out of my way to be better about leaving them), I just... Have never been the type of person to write about how much a piece of art means to me. A piece of art can shake me to my absolute core and imprint on me and I will never tell the person who made it how much I love it.
As someone who also creates, I know how it feels to get low engagement on work you have spent an inordinate amount of time on. I know it can be discouraging and make you feel like what you make isn't worth anything. I also know firsthand that someone can have an indescribable amount of love for what you do and keep that to themselves. I am not the only person out there like this. That's not a guess. I've heard people before say that they feel weird commenting on work that is "too old" even though they love it. Or they feel like creators don't want to get a notification for a simple "woah".
Someone can love your work dearly and not think to comment for a number of reasons. That doesn't mean that your work isn't valuable and it doesn't mean nobody loves it. And honestly? Even if your work really does only bring you joy, I still think that you should create it! But that's a point for another post. My point for this one is that a lot more people silently love your work than you realize. Unfortunately (or very fortunately depending on how you look at it) they probably outnumber the people who do comment.
So I'm sharing this with all other creators. You have so many silent lovers. Secret admirers exist in the world of creating, too, and I think that that is very important for you to remember. If you ever feel down about the fact that people may not say the things that you want them too? Consider that they're thinking it instead. Keep creating!!
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Psst, you!
Hey, hey you! Yeah, you! I've got a question for ya. Do you feel normal about SCC (Sweet Cap'n Cakes)?
-> Yes -> No
[❤️Yes] [Ohhhh, I see. You're in denial, aren't you? ;)]
[❤️No] [Aha! Just as I projected- I mean suspected! Suspected. Yeah.]
Well, I've got some GREAT news for you! Have you ever felt saddened by the lack of SCC-centric fanfiction? Specifically the kind that depicts them as brothers instead of bandmates or partners (no shade to those depictions btw)?
No? Shut up yes you have /j
Yes? Fantastic! Well, no, sorry that you're sad :/ BUT! Be sad no longer! For I've come to save the day!
In the form of my newfound SCC hyperfixation!!!
That's right!! I've been going crazy about The Guys™️ for the past week or so, but to my absolute SHOCK, there are hardly ANY fanfics for them!!! And almost all them revolve around them as a SHIP! And no offense, but I just don't like reading about ships all that much, sorry!!! :(
SO!!! How am I going to fix this dilemma, I wondered? But THEN! I remembered something!! Something very, VERY important:
'Oh yeah I'm a fanfic author.'
Is this me implying that I'm now writing a bunch of SCC fanfiction in a very roundabout way? YES YES IT IS! :D
In fact, I've already posted one on Ao3 and have turned it into a 'series'! By that I just mean that the 'series' is really just a place for me to dump all of my SCC-centric fics. I'll link the series here, BUT I'll also be cross-posting most, if not all, of those fics from Ao3 to here on Tumblr!
Oh also link btw:
But why am I talking about it like this on Tumblr, you ask? Introducing it in such a way when I could have just started posting SCC content? For two reasons!
One: Idk I just felt like it
Two: Because!! It has come to my attention that hardly anybody on Ao3 even reads SCC fanfiction.
And no, this isn't me begging for like... kudos or subscriptions (or followers, I guess it is on Tumblr? Idk I don't use it much) or anything like that. What I AM asking for is for people to read it. Not because I want to get popular, but because...
I am very self-conscious about the way I write SCC.
Well, to be honest I'm just self-conscious about the way I write any fictional character. It's actually the thing I worry about the most when it comes to fanfiction; whether or not I'm getting the personalities right. And I'm aware that it's more about how you perceive the characters, and that headcanons are a thing (I have plenty of them myself), but in my opinion, there's a line between having a headcanon and writing something ooc. Headcanons are fine, yes, and I use them a lot (especially when it comes to Undertale and Deltarune characters), but I feel like it can get to the point where it's so ooc that it doesn't even feel like the same character. And that's something I definitely don't want to happen when I write about my three favorite guys EVER. So basically, I'm asking people to read my fics specifically so I can get feedback on how to write the characters.
Why didn't I ask my friends? Bold of you to assume I have any /hj
But no fr, none of my friends play Deltarune, and I'm not even sure if any of them have heard of it. My sister has played before, but she never really got into it, and it's been so long that I doubt she would even remember who SCC are if I asked.
So, I've taken it to random strangers on Tumblr!
There's only one work in the series right now, but I'm currently working on another and have many more ideas sitting in a doc, waiting to be written! I'll also take requests if anyone has any (which I doubt will happen but anything's possible I guess), but before I post any more, I'd really like to get some feedback from... someone, I guess. I dunno I just really want to do them justice 😭
Anyways, that's all! Sorry that this was so long and probably annoying to read, I just thought it'd be funny but now I don't even know aldkdsfljk- but I'm leaving it like this because why not I guess
#deltarune#deltarune fanfiction#scc#deltarune scc#sweet cap'n cakes#sweet cap'n k k#i love them so much#super nervous abt posting this but yolo ig sdklfcx#i really do have a bunch more ideas for them tho#i'm not even kidding i have like ten more sitting in a spinner wheel to be written at random#OH ALSO the first fic is kinda purposely ooc because it's a crack fic#a lot of them are actually but not all of them#anyways bye
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Long confession ahead, apologies in advance.
Look, I don't get heated about shipping. I like what I like, and I look at things I like. If I don't like whatever someone is posting, I'll filter the tags, and if they aren't using the tags appropriately, I will block them. It's fairly easy for me to avoid ships I personally dislike most of the time. I do all of the things I'm supposed to, and yet I'm still having this problem.
There is one singular ship on God's green earth that kills all of my enjoyment for both of the characters involved, and it is radioapple. I have never felt such strong emotions about any other ship before in any of the fandoms I'm part of. It's fucking everywhere. I genuinely cannot use this website if I want to see Lucifer or Alastor fanart/fanfic, and I'm not moving sites.
But God. I'm so fucking sick and tired of seeing "this post contains filtered content: #radioapple." When S1 first came out, I counted 37 blocked posts in a row on top of #Alastor on one given day. I had to scroll through 37 blocked fucking posts before I found ONE that wasn't about fucking radioapple. And that isn't counting all the OTHER Alastor ships, because of course that's all anyone gives a shit about anymore.
I'm on mobile, so I can't use browser extensions to make Tumblr's filtering system actually do what I want it to (delete every radioapple post, forever). I also don't feel like buying a laptop for fucking Tumblr. I've been getting back into HH after falling out of it for a while for related reasons, and I forgot how much angrier and more unhappy I am coming out of #Alastor or (to a lesser extent) #Lucifer than when I went in. Which is super awesome considering they're my two faves.
I wish I was kidding when I say I have actually cried real tears more than once over this. I'm aroace, and I thought maybe for once I'd get to feel at least a little bit included and represented in fandom as a whole. I thought having a canon aroace character would be that for me, at least one tag I could semi-comfortably browse and feel like I'm actually part of shit and not a spectator for once, but obviously not. I don't even get to look at fanart of a character I enjoy without being constantly reminded of how different and alone I am, even when that character is different in exactly the same way as me. Even characters like Alastor that are written to be like me aren't written for me. Because why would anyone create anything for someone like me to enjoy when they could instead jam a little more sex and romance in there?
I once scrolled through #Alastor blocking all the radioapple posters for so long that I reached the bottom of the page. Tumblr would not show me any more posts and I had to reload it. I blocked 209 different blogs, and it barely made a dent. 209. I can't curate my way out of this. I genuinely think I just don't get to like those characters anymore, and it fucking sucks. I want my deer man back.
TL;DR: I cannot enjoy these characters I deeply relate to with how prevalent and fucking inescapable this one ship is, and I'm not sure how to fix it. Frankly I'm not sure it's fixable, but I would love it if this wasn't something else I just don't get to have like everyone else. Someone tell me what to do about this. I want to have fun too.
I understand why you would think that. I’m probably aroaceflux and I can see some alastor in me (aroacewise, not serial killer wise) and why you wouldn’t want to see the ships you don’t like. Unfortunately that’s how many fandoms work, they’ll just keep shipping.
to be honest, I don’t know what to say, but thanks for the confession and I hope things get better for you
#confession#confession blog#hellaverse#hellaverse confession#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel confessions#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor
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Using LOA with love
(and pateince+persistence)
FIRST BLOG!
Hi LOA Tumblr! I am frankly new to this community but have seen enough to know over consuming is not what I should be doing. Im here to show my journey in manifesting my ideal reality, using the list method, SAT's, and whatever else I can say I might use meditations but I don't know yet(I have a invasive family, I dont want them to catch me doing that 😭) I will post what subs I will use. Most of all I know I have it now soooo. Ive seen enough of post's yelling at me bc Im paying attention to the 3d or telling me once again about LOA. Im still in a partial learning faze so I might use this blog to ask questions, but mostly Im going to start applying and this blog is for everyone who is as well. Basically for reminding everyone we are in our desired realities/have our desires! I've had loads of success with LOA so it is real and very much inevitable. Anyway here are some stuff in my list of everything in my ideal life (which is from now on my actual life) I will be posting the results but technically I already have it so yeah.
-I never study for anything but when I get a test or question on it I answer correctly without fail
-I always get straight As
-I only affirm once to manifest instantly
-I am the void every time I count down from 5
-My 3c hair looks exactly like the Pinterest curly hair, even though I don't put any effort into it, I literally just wash my hair and leave it alone, its so easy to do.
-Every godsend beautiful fanfic I've read in AO3 that's been left unfinished now has an ending and its so good 😩
-I can speak, read, write any language I want perfectly
-I shift instantly with just one affirmation
-Im really good at dancing and singing
-I don't have to use the toilet anymore (its so annoying ill drink one glass of water and boom)
-My favorite show isn't poorly written and is actually really good (guess which one, It really has so much potential and its actually my biggest object of love I have to save it )
Besides my hair being effortlessly good Im not touching my physical appearance bc Ive always been very pretty and skinny but that doesn't mean its "harder" to manifest and if you want to go for it its your reality you deserve to feel good about yourself. Up till now my life has been messed up by older men, my mom, school, and religion but no more of that! Now I have everything in my list and I'm living my most ideal life! Feel free to send asks and DM me to vent or whatever. IK a lot of people don't like that but I personally find it easier to talk to online strangers and dont mind at all.
Im also very curios about lucid dreaming I might update on that too, idk ksksk, Anyway,
~ With Love, you can call me, Jyspire
#loa tumblr#loassumption#loa blog#loa#loass#4d reality#law of assumption#loassblog#loablr#self concept#master manifestor#manifesting#shifting motivation#shifting antis dni#reality shifting#curly hair#love
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Fanfic promo yay yahoo I hate writing /j
And with promo comes full rendered drawings. I really should be doing my hhomework.
"Downpour"
"Worthy"
Basic plot summary and some cool info below:
"How's a Hero" is a fic I've been working on since..... idk 6 months, maybe
It's basically my (affectionate) 'I don't care' to conforming to popular fandom headcanons and going insane
(It's a horror fic. It's quite literally a horror Rayman fic where Rayman's a stubborn bitch to everyone)
Inspired to finally finish it after that one Tumblr post I saw that I can't find anymore. I think this fandom does deserve a proper 'horror' fic
Have I ever written a scary story before? No but it's not to late to throw stuff at the wall
Enough about me. What is this fic?
The basic plot finds Rayman struggling to grasp that the Glade isn't reliant on ONLY him. He has friends that'll help him and he's not taking it so well.
It goes into psychological stuff like guilt, denial, refusal for help, those things
I'm not very good at naming the tropes actually who said I should be a writer???
Anyways, if that's not your cup of tea, that's chill. You can go read "Real and Fake" for a more lighthearted story #subtleplug
This story is definitely out of my comfort zone with heavy themes, fight scenes, and more 'mature' things. So if it sounds like I've never wrote anything like this, you're correct I apologize
Every new chapter I'll finish (hopefully) with have a drawing to go with it. At least, if I have the time and motivation uhhh
Enough of me yapping to a wall. If you can't enjoy the story, enjoy the drawings !!!
#How's a Hero#i was never good at public speaking#tbh idk which style i wanna try out for the images#like. fully rendered or more loose and painting like#idk yall tell me#oh and feel free to ask questions about the fic. no spoilers obviously lol#i dont think this needs a gore warning. he cant bleed#but ill add it in the tags just in case#tw g0re#gore#cw: gore#rayman#fanart#digital art#rayman fanart#ubisoft#rayman games#ao3 fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic#rayman 3 hoodlum havoc#rayman 3#rayman origins#fanfic promo#randré au#shhh#lums#horror#click for better quality#yapping
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Writing Advice: tips, tricks & helpful links, from your friendly neighbourhood fanfic author ✨ (part one—the advice)
see part two—the resources here
I've mentioned this before, but I truly believe no one's born a great writer. A great storyteller, yes. A great writer? That's learned. I've been reading and writing basically as long as I can remember. Learning to write is like...learning through both practice and symbiosis. In saying that, I get asked about this a lot, so here's what I do and some things that might help you.
Write what you're inspired to write, when you're inspired to write it.
So you have an idea—great! Are you a plotter or a pantser? Some people like to start with an outline, others just jot down a few notes and let the keyboard take them where it will. I'm in the latter camp, generally. For me, the best way to avoid writer's block is to write what I'm inspired to write, when I want to write it. Sometimes I'll write five chapters of a story at once, others I'll switch between a multi-chapter and a one-shot.
What's most important for me, personally, is that I don't try and force anything. If you suffer from demand avoidance, the worst thing you could possibly do (in my opinion), is set arbitrary goals. You don't need to write 500 words a day. If you want to, great! If that helps you, also great, but in my experience, that will generally just make my brain say well no, now we're not writing anything for a whole week, maybe a month, if you test me.
I also personally like to have a whole fic written before I start posting it online, or at least most of it written. I like being quite far ahead of what readers are seeing because I am a pantser. It takes the pressure off and honestly, there'd be so many plot holes if I didn't. Which brings me to...
First make it exist, then make it make sense, after that make it good.
What you see me post is not my first run-through. It's not even the second. I've written, read over, and changed things at least a handful of times before ever posting it, especially when it's a multi-chapter work. Sometimes I'll write a scene I love and then realise it just doesn't flow well, because three chapters back I had someone say a certain thing. In that instance, I'll put the scene aside.
Note that I said 'put aside' not 'delete'. I never delete them until I'm finished with a fic and I'm certain I won't need them, ever. Been there, made that mistake for you! Having a separate document with just various scenes you can insert at a later date also helps you to feel like it's ok to write what you want to write when you want to write it. I'll be honest, I jump around a lot. Sometimes I'll be inspired to write a scene I know isn't coming for another five chapters, but in my opinion it's best to just write it because when I get there five chapters down the line, I might not have the inspiration or I might have forgotten how I wanted things to go. Write what your brain wants to, fill in the blanks later!
Write from the heart.
My most popular work is the one I find the easiest to write and I almost never wrote it at all. Isn't that ridiculous? I almost never wrote it because I know it's cliché and excessive, and honestly...looked down upon. I almost didn't write it because of other people's opinions; then I said fuck it, I want to read it so surely there's someone else out there that does, too? Turns out there were thousands of you. Who knew?
But that work has really resonated with so many people and I think that's because I've poured so much of myself, my pain, my own experiences into it, into her. For that reason, I'd tell anyone starting out to try original character fic if that's what they want to do. Fuck the haters. All their favourite works were original characters once too.
Don't read similar fic while you're writing yours...unless you need to.
Let me explain. If I'm writing a certain type of alternate universe, or a certain storyline I know someone else has written, I won't read theirs until I'm done if I can help it, especially not if I'm actively writing my take on it. This isn't a hard and fast rule, it's obviously up to you what you feel comfortable with, but I would never want to have someone else's work influence my own too much, or get our ideas confused in my head, you know?
An exception to this rule, for me personally, is if I'm stuck with specific things in particular, like smut. When I wrote my first smut piece from a male POV, I was struck by the fact that I had no idea what an orgasm felt like for them, or how to describe it, because despite reading M/M fic for years, I apparently never absorbed that particular verbiage, so I went looking and read a whole bunch of smut from the male POV just to get an idea. Which leads into...
So you suck at kung-fu fighting.
Action scenes. I'm convinced we all hate them just as much as each other. I hate them so much I've changed whole plotlines from canon just so I don't have to include them. Unfortunately, my main fandom features a bunch of knife-throwing, sword-wielding, dragon riders at a war college who spar for clout, so I mean...it's unavoidable.
I still suck at writing it though, so what I now do for sparring and other hand-to-hand combat is search up youtube for sparring videos or self-defence lessons. It's much easier to describe what you're seeing than to imagine the mechanics and positioning of an artform you've never performed. The kung-fu thing was a joke, I like capoeira personally.
Stop being so damn hard on yourself.
Listen, everyone wants to be better than they are when they start out, literally everyone. I know I sure did. That's normal. Accept that it's normal before you start because the thing is, no one's a harsher critic on you, than you are and you'll always want to be better. There's a quote from Ira Glass that I'll paraphrase:
“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap[...]It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit."
It's very true. Hopefully you have the support of a really welcoming fandom to reassure you that actually, you're nowhere near as bad as you think you are.
READ. BOOKS.
@justallihere says you can’t be good at something you don’t know anything about and it's so true, I've phrased it before as learning by symbiosis, when you read more, you'll internalise more. You're subconsciously learning how story structure works—plot hooks, transitions, metaphors and similie, grammar, style and punctuation.
Show don't tell.
...yeah this one I haven't mastered, I could use some help with that myself if anyone's got any words of wisdom, thanks.
Take all of this with a grain of salt.
I couldn't tell you how many writer's advice threads and blogs and whatever-else I've read over the years—too many, for sure. What I can tell you is 80% of what I've read was crap. It doesn't apply to me at best and it's unhelpful at worst. Maybe it's the neurodivergence, maybe it's just the fact that everyone's different and all you can do is give things a try, but based on that I can say with certainty that not all of this will work for you and that's absolutely fine! But I hope at least a few things do 😌
For links to more specific resources including thesauruses, generators, and other writers' advice, click here.
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