#i've never done couple's costumes before but this makes me want to so bad

[spookmemepls]

☠ ― 𝑀𝑒𝑔𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 (𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟶) 𝑆𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑆𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠. (𝑆𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝐷𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘𝑠 𝑓𝑖𝑙𝑚 "𝑀𝑒𝑔𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑".)

"If only the world had a reset button."

"I've looked into the reset button... *sobs* the science is impossible..."

"Okay, ___, you were right! I was... less... right!"

"Why do you need MY help?"

"I just happened to be speed-walking nearby when you called."

"Oh you're a villain alright, just not a SUPER one!"

"Imagine the most horrible... terrifying... EVIL thing you can possibly think of. And MULTIPLY it... by SIX!"

"Don't let ___ pay for my wrongdoings..."

"Because you're the smartest person I know."

"Why are you so EVIL...!?"

"I just wanted to thank you for inspiring me the other day."

"...Do I have a son?"

"Can I go home now?"

"Oh, I wouldn't say freed. More like... under new management."

"I was just about to make my frontal assault to save you, but like... 50 ninjas tried to attack me, so I had to... beat 'em all up, and I did, and they were all like... crying and stuff."

"Oh no not you, ___! I'm just yelling at my... mother's... urn."

"...Well that seems kinda petty, don't you think?"

"___, you really need to empty your pockets more often!"

"Do you really think that I would EVER be with you...?"

Congratulations, another one of your genius plans has backfired on you!"

"Wow, your hair... looks exciting!"

"Hey, remember that night that I dumped you?"

"Okay, now you tell me something. Something you've never told anyone."

"My death was... greatly exaggerated."

"You were very strong in there!"

"So. You're the punk I've heard about."

"KNOW me? You never took the time to KNOW me!"

"We should just stick to what we're good at. Being bad."

"Please don't do this. I know there's still good in you, ___."

"There is no Easter Bunny, there is no Tooth Fairy... and there is no Queen of England."

"Going somewhere? Besides jail?"

"Ask me how I'm going to do it. Go on! ASK!"

"___, I think this is a bad idea."

"YOU DIM-WITTED CREATION OF SCIENCE!"

"Heroes aren't born. They're made."

"___ and I... were never really a couple."

"Well, in school... none of the other kids... really liked me."

"Do you have someone special in your life, ___?"

"Did you ever look back...?"

"Who wants churros!?"

"Are you HAPPY now?"

"___, I didn't know you had... feelings. Are you okay?"

"With that, ANYONE can be a hero!"

"I'm not allowed to insult guests directly."

"You know I never had the chance to say goodbye... it's good that we have this time now."

"Um, that's a pretty tasteless costume."

"I'm sorry... I really am, but. I. I'm done."

"Hello? Who's there!?"

"Well, thank you for... letting me stay."

"As long as there's evil, good will rise up against it."

"It's taken a long time to find my calling. Now it's about time you find yours."

"I think we should run!"

"It's time to put the past behind us."

"Are you a ghost...? Speak, apparition..."

"But we saw your skeleton! You were DEAD!"

"Each and every citizen in this place had something I didn't. A choice."

"That's when I got the brilliant idea... to fake my death."

"How could you DO this!? The people of the city RELIED on you and you deserted them!"

"You know? You look pretty good in white."

"___, I never knew you were so funny."

"You were right about that door being exciting...!"

"I've... never heard you laugh before."

"You don't get out much, do you?"

"Where did you get all this stuff...?"

"Maybe ___ isn't so bad after all."

[sassybluee]

Dramas in 2023 roundup!

It's midway thru January, but it's never too late to reflect on the year before. I think I watched the most dramas I've ever had this past year, so I wanted to write a little roundup with my thoughts.

Here's an overview of the ones I completed!

Unchained Love (2022) ⭐️ 7.5

I've Fallen for You (2020) ⭐️ 8

Miss the Dragon (2021) ⭐️ 7

The Rational Life (2021) ⭐️ 9

Till the End of the Moon (2023) ⭐️8.5

A Romance of the Little Forest (2022) ⭐️ 7

Back from the Brink (2023) ⭐️ 8.5

The Starry Love (2023) ⭐️ 7.5

The Wolf (2020) ⭐️ 8.5

My Journey to You (2023) ⭐️ 8

Never Give Up (2023) ⭐️ 8.5

Ancient Love Poetry (2021) ⭐️ 9

Destined With You (2023) ⭐️ 7.5

Here are the ones I placed on hold/dropped

Legend of Anle

Love You Seven Times

Love in Flames of War

Only for Love (dropped)

The Snow Moon (dropped)

More detailed thoughts below the cut!

Unchained Love (2022) ⭐️ 7.5

Part palace drama, part comedy, this was a fun ride. I really liked watching the relationship between Bu Yinlou and Xiao Duo develop from friendship into romance. The comedy moments were really well done, and had me actually laughing out loud. The fight sequences were also really well done, and I liked the costumes. However, the last five or so episodes had such an abrupt tonal shift, and there were some questionable decisions made by otherwise smart characters, so it kind of fell flat at the end. BUT I would still watch it again, just maybe just skip the last eps.

I've Fallen for You (2020) ⭐️ 8

I didn't expect to like this one as much as I did. The basic concept is: childhood sweethearts try to find their way back to each other, end up married after a strange series of events, but they aren't sure their spouse is the childhood sweetheart they're looking for. It's silly, cute, and very good fun. I really liked the secondary couple as well. The ending managed to make me very emotional, which surprised me. And I enjoyed that the heroine was a fan of doing autopsies (something that does occasionally become plot-relevant).

Miss the Dragon (2021) ⭐️ 7

Okay, first off, I know this one has a reputation of being a bad drama. And tbh, I agree! Objectively, it's not very good. HOWEVER! The viewing experience? Was so fun. The characters? Very entertaining. The frenemy dynamic between the ML and 2ndML? Hilarious and also a bit gay. The FL is a bit flat, but she does develop more personality through her various reincarnations. My fave life of hers was the 3rd, I believe (the lady general arc). Wang Hedi's acting is not the best but I still think he's very cute lol and he's watchable! It's just maybe not what you'd expect from him if you saw CLJ or The Rational Life first.

The Rational Life (2021) ⭐️ 9

Yes, this was for a bit of a palate cleanser after the overall ride that was Miss the Dragon. I wasn't sure if I'd be into the modern cdrama genre cuz fantasy/historical is more my preferred vibe of media, HOWEVER, I wanted to give it a shot because I'd seen some cute gifs. I really loved it, far more than I expected to. Every character was really well done, and I really liked how the story was centred on women's experiences in various workplaces/times in their life. It also gave me age gap brainrot, I won't lie. I loved the gradual build from coworkers to friendship to romance with Qi Xiao and Shen Ruoxin. I will say tho... I would like to know what whoever dressed Wang Hedi in this show was thinking. Some of those outfits were... a choice lol.

Till the End of the Moon (2023) ⭐️ 8.5

Everyone has seen or at least heard about it at this point. Dare I say it's iconic? I won't lie, my rating upon finishing it was lower. I had issues with the pacing in parts and I found the last episodes difficult to get thru because they just didn't capture my attention the way the beginning of the drama did. However, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. Plus, the performances by Luo Yunxi and Bai Lu are amazing. And I really feel they embody the "enemies to lovers" trope better than anyone!

A Romance of the Little Forest (2022) ⭐️ 7

Tbh... this show deserves less than a 7, but I rated it as such because I love my queen Xinxin, and her chemistry with Zhang Binbin was good. I think this would've worked better as a 24-episode drama, as the last couple plot arcs felt kind of tacked on. It's great if you want to see Yu Shuxin in various adorable outfits and a fun fake dating plot, but maybe stopping midway is good enough. Fair warning, the second couple's storyline was awful on several levels. Essentially, the man lies about being in a wheelchair to garner sympathy with his crush, who herself is partially Deaf. Yeah, it's BAD. Just skip all their scenes.

Back from the Brink (2023) ⭐️ 8.5

I really enjoyed this, especially how silly it could be. They really amped up the humour, and to me that worked well. At the same time, there were also some very heartfelt moments that made me tear up. I really liked the side couples as well, they were all quite likeable. It was just a really fun show from beginning to end.

The Starry Love (2023) ⭐️ 7.5

I really enjoyed this, up until the last arc. I found after that, it dragged a bit. To be honest, it dragged a bit in earlier parts too. What saved it for me was the humour, the relationship between the two sisters, the Void Realm subplots, and the adorable Di Lanjue. Unfortunately, Yetan/Youqin didn't really do much for me, but I still found them enjoyable at times.

The Wolf (2020) ⭐️ 8.5

This was a surprise for me. I didn't expect I'd like it much going in, but I still wanted to give it a try for my guy Xiao Zhan. I'd tried watching it before when it first aired, but I found the first couple episodes too cheesy. I still found them incredibly cheesy this time, but after about midway through episode 3 when the main plot kicked off, I found myself really invested. Fair warning, Xiao Zhan only shows up in episode 11, so if you're watching it just for him, you may be disappointed. Fortunately, I found myself invested in all the characters quite a bit. If you like messy toxic bitches, this is the drama for you. Warning: there was an attempted rape scene I found quite uncomfortable (though it's not played as being romantic, thankfully). There are a couple other dubcon incidents I wasn't a huge fan of, and one character has a miscarriage. Just things to keep in mind before viewing.

My Journey to You ⭐️ 8

Where do I even start here? Once again, I probably should rate it lower, because the story itself is a mess. HOWEVER, the characters, aesthetics, and cinematography are all excellent. The characters are really what stayed with me the most, and the episode focusing on Yun Que was devastating in all the best ways. The beginning episodes were also fantastic, the way the story unfurled. It just became clear in the latter half of the series that the writer had written himself into a corner and didn't know how to get out. Frustrating, but I don't regret my journey with this show (heh, get it). It's for that reason I'm not sure I can ever rec it to anyone, but I'll gladly talk about it to anyone who will listen.

Never Give Up (2023) ⭐️ 8.5

This was a fun office sitcom-style drama that I really breezed through after the horror show that was MJTY. Lighthearted with short episodes, it was very enjoyable. If you've ever worked in an office, you can probably relate. Once again, I'd like to speak with whoever dressed Wang Hedi cuz they made some interesting choices lol.

Ancient Love Poetry (2021) ⭐️ 9

Another surprise for me. I had tried the first episodes a while back and found it a bit dense, but restarting it this year I found it a lot more interesting. Maybe having more xianxia general knowledge helped me out. It was a really beautifully done drama. The CGI and sets were all superb. There was a whole host of characters to get invested in as well. It was a truly epic story from start to finish.

Destined With You (2023) ⭐️ 7.5

The one Kdrama on this list! I really loved the two actors, their chemistry, and the plot in general, but the pacing in the middle took me out a bit. I would still recommend watching it, as there was lots to enjoy. The modern with magic elements were really intriguing, as was the concept of past lives. I also like that the ML and 2ndML work together instead of constantly butting heads once it becomes clear who the FL will pick. The flashbacks to the past life were also really interesting--I wish we'd had more of that tbh! I'll definitely be looking out for both actors in other dramas!

As for the shows I placed on hold, I will likely stop lying to myself and drop them. But I might give them another shot before doing so. I'm still really disappointed by Only for Love, but I couldn't bring myself to finish it. Not even the power of Didi and Bai Lu could make me do it. It just got too frustrating.

Now, I'm currently watching Story of Kunning Palace, Royal Rumours, and The Last Immortal. I'm not super sold on the last 2, but SOKP has really grabbed me by the throat (just like Xie Wei to Jiang Xuening) so I'm glad to be starting the year off strong!

[accirax]

Okay, really wanna get these out before the finale so here we go :

https://youtu.be/w3ih6kGB4cM?si=NRdk-fnwO8zdPG6P

Haven't really shown a Hunter one yet (love his laugh).

https://youtu.be/RAQb550ftxI?si=V8FKJFsfmQMlOPu1

Awww, Will & Ashley are just the best for each other! ^_^ (Also, AUTUMN CAMEO!!! :D)

https://youtu.be/9rMgUniDeD8?si=cF4JWZk0l4GOxomd

*SIGH* Y'know.. the more of these Ellie Greetings I look at really show me the kind of person she is. She doesn't wanna show remorse for anything since it's such an "inconvenience" To Her. She doesn't see why any of the stuff she said or did was wrong and thinks it's a waste of her time to even try to understand why it might've been; that all the people she's affected (whether directly or indirectly) are just petty butthurt crybabies who should get over themselves & forget about everything. Always quick to point out everyone else's faults & how much they suck, but denies her own. shepissesmeoffsofuckingmuch.

https://youtu.be/bGCfEWaRXkY?si=Zs_SmJ6K0lttepxu

Seems like Gabby isn't much different. No doubt influenced by her gf. I mean, the girl practically takes *anything* Ellie says or does as gospel so this really shouldn't surprise me.

https://youtu.be/Ch7h1yBMerE?si=eiCAXdyJOKijJnS1

Aww, this one's actually really sweet~! ^^

https://youtu.be/am-L4WX5wEM?si=reikHWeee54iNR8Z

Why do I get the feeling that a certain group of shippers are gonna go crazy over the thing he's holding..? (Also, do you know if plushies & other accessories/items/animals/outfits/costumes cost extra in greetings? I'm kinda curious about that.)

https://youtu.be/XgFHQ-JccNs?si=ZW3oKPuBaLwupLht

OMG-! 😆 Even though I barely remember anything about Azula, this cosplay fits way too well for her lol! Also, I'm gonna take that awkward laugh and avoidance of the first question as a sign that she totally does watch that stuff but refuses to ever admit it. (Ew.)

Ok, I that's all I wanted to say. And, just in case none of the links work, there is a high chance I might've confused the capital i for a lowercase L, or vice versa. So you could just correct that and it should be fine.

i didn't have a good opportunity to respond to this before the finale (part 1) aired, but i am taking a look at them before i've personally watched the finale, so hopefully that's alright :)

(text to make the keep reading work)

Hunter's VA is always so funny; never forget how he was the one to kick off the singing greetings trend (even if it was the asker who asked him to do it). i sort of thought he'd go for some sort of shadows/darkness power myself, but the Frozone reference when explaining why he chose ice won me over. also, as someone who just got around to finally watching "disventure camp but bad," this comment took me out:

it's funny how many of the couples are comprised of one person who's afraid and one person who helps them get over those fears (wishley, jaiden, kind of tomjake). i wonder if any of the writers had that sort of experience with their hypothetical partners.

(also, just because this was the greeting in which it was apparently said, i do want to highlight @/harzeke and his survey answerer's critique of having a Scared Black Man trope originate from his experiences in a shady neighborhood. it's in the "racist fandom and fanon jokes" section of the linked document. i'm not at all trying to say that you, @sapphireroses282, have done anything wrong, obviously. just trying to use this opportunity to promote a well-written and overall much-needed perspective from another creator :) )

yeah, Ellie isn't exactly the kindest person even on her best days, unless it's to Gabby. to give her the benefit of the doubt, i sort of read it as a continuation of her coping with her loss. if, in an attempt to convince herself that losing wasn't that big of a deal, she keeps telling herself that it was "just a game" and not something worth getting upset over, she might also tell herself that every one else does/should think the same and therefore that they shouldn't be angry, either. but, i agree, it definitely is a flaw, and i can understand how it could be frustrating if you've dealt with people who are self-centered in this way in real life.

i do think that Lake and Aiden at least deserve an apology, and probably Tess too, but, Hunter...? am i forgetting something? i just rewatched Hunter's boot episode. what did Ellie have to apologize to Hunter for? i know that she tried to keep Tess away from him to prevent mingling between teams, but that didn't go through, and he has no idea that happened. i sort of remember them fighting in the animal rescue and/or sandbag challenges, but that probably was within the realm of the challenge, not like pushing Tom on top of Aiden was. i'm probably just forgetting something, but for now it's throwing me.

the main thing for Gabby is that i feel like she already did apologize to Tess and Tom within the bounds of the main series, so i don't think any additional apologizing is needed there. like, she doesn't exactly say "i'm sorry" to Tess when she's booted, but Tess also doesn't seem upset, so like... no harm no foul, right? and, when she beats Tom in the tiebreaker challenge, she literally says, "I'm sorry I got carried away, Tom."

in the Survivor fandom, there's the concept of a "bitter jury," which is a season in which the jury favors their personal feelings of betrayal in who they vote for to win, instead of who they think played the best strategic/physical/social (in the making and betraying allies sense) game. now, i'm of the opinion that whoever wins the season is the correct winner of the season, because if the jury is going to be bitter, the finalists should account for that in how they appeal to the jury and how they play the game. that being said, i also hate bitter juries, because i would rather see the best player of the season win the money as opposed to just the most popular player.

in that sense, i'm glad that apologies aren't needed, because it seems indicative of people forgiving each other -> not being bitter about how the events of the game show turned out. i don't think that anyone should be forced to apologize to someone who wasn't hurt just for the, i dunno, social politics of it all. especially when that someone is Gabby, who seems to have already needed to "apologize" just for being herself to a lot of people. (my typical standard is, if the offended party forgives the perpetrator, i don't have any issue forgiving them as well, even if a formal apology isn't issued.)

however, you could also argue that Tess or Lake or whoever should have been more offended by what Gabby did. although i think things like "say hi to Ellie" were made in jest, they could easily be seen as mockery. and/or, Tess is someone who likely has pretty low self-confidence, so you could see her not standing up for herself as a sign that she's fine letting herself get verbally harmed for the sake of peace. whether or not a fictional character should be forgiven/have to apologize is a very complicated issue that everyone approaches differently depending on their own history and personality. (god knows i've learned that through participating in the Milgram fandom.) i completely understand why you might not like Ellie (and Gabby by extension) because of her attitude, but i hope you can also understand why i see things differently ^_^

aww, that was really sweet! i'm glad that Alec might finally be getting to a place in his life where he can try to be happy. i kinda thought he might relate getting dinner with someone to The Mishap with Riya, but, hey, maybe that's further proving his growth that he's not fixated on it anymore! also, apparently he's dressed up as a Pokemon character? i thought that was, like, Kid Icarus or something. what in the ancient Greece is Pokemon getting up to?

it's funny to combo the "Connor and I are good friends" dialogue with him holding a plushie of Connor, haha. then again, he didn't say something as direct as "it's platonic," so, yeah, i think the shippers will go crazy over this one.

while i don't know much about greetings myself, one of my coworkers on Reality Resort did tell me a little about how greetings pricing goes down, so i can confirm that they do add to the overall cost of the greeting. said coworker also made this video talking about Disventure Camp greetings, and talks in a bit more specificity about pricing at around the 11:10 mark, if not elsewhere (i watched the video when it first came out so i don't remember what exactly goes where). some of the official VAs (Trevor, Gabby) also left some comments on that video with a bit more insider knowledge. i still don't think there's an exact breakdown of how much a costume vs a prop costs-- possibly because the price varies based on complexity-- but it's a good video overall, so i recommend you check it out if you're interested to learn more about greetings!

that costume looks so cute on her!!! some of the comments were recalling that Fiore also quoted Azula in s1 (the part where she says something along the lines of "my own mother thought i was a monster... she was right, but--"), so it's a super fitting choice. i also love that she ended with "i'm 8, so what do i know?". she is just a silly 8 year old who likes bullying her dad for having cooties. and manipulating and traumatizing people. who does it like her?

(all of the links worked perfectly btw-- thanks for putting in the effort to transcribe them!)

[disabled-dragoon]

Me and a friend are attending a con together. They have mobility issues and chronic pain so standing can be painful. usually they use crutches but they are worried that the standing required at a con would cause issues. 

Good new i have access to a wheelchair they could use for the day. Bad new parents arnt supportive at all. during the con it will just be and friend but their parents will drop them of to meet with me and see the wheel chair if i just bring it for them. parents know they want wheelchair and will know its for them.

I was thinking of hiding the chair by claiming it as part of my cosplay (character is obscure enough they wouldn’t know). I see you use wheelchair. i was wondering if you could suggest a way i could make the chair look incidental to a cosplay whilst still being viable to use long term.

[ID: A standard black manual wheelchair on a white background. The footplates are down. /end ID]

Hm. I've never done wheelchair cosplay before so if anyone else has any suggestions they would be very much appreciated.

However!

Going off the fact that I do not know your character, your friends character or your budget, I would say cable/zip ties and cardboard, specifically cardboard boxes and/or tubes but any cardboard is fine.

There is a lot you can do with cardboard- fold, flatten, paint, cut, etc.- and it's cheap too. Cable ties help with the more fiddly parts, and they can easily be cut off, but, ideally, if it's measured right, you might not have to remove anything at all.

Sheets or old blankets might also be worth considering. And they would have another usage in that your friend has something to cover themselves with if they get cold.

Now if you're still batting around actual costume designs for the wheelchair, bearing in mind I do not know your character so these are purely for inspiration purposes, there's a lot you could do:

Vehicles- Name a vehicle and you can probably turn a wheelchair into it. Car, train, tractor, boat/ship, plane, rocket, digger, roller, van, bus etc. Even a cart (like a market cart, or a racing cart like in Mario). My personal favourite is a horse-drawn/princess carriage. This is probably the most popular option, and you'll find a bunch of examples with a quick google search.

Wheeled character- like a Dalek, or R2D2, WALL-E etc. etc.

Or simply a character that moves very very smoothly/glides (I can't think of an example)

Clouds or bushes

A moving throne

A trolley of some kind (you could also fold it for this, then fold it out when it's needed)

Horse (with space for rider)

Creature of some kind- dragon, spider etc. etc.

You don't have to go too OTT either, which is the beauty of it. You can paint/decorate two sheets of card and attach them to either side of the chair (ensuring the wheels aren't blocked) and/or throw a sheet over or a cushion etc.

Unfortunately that's all I've got really. Like I said, I've never cosplayed before, but I have occasionally considered doing it since using the chair, so I've got a couple of ideas. If anyone reading (and anyone more experienced in cosplay) has any additions they are welcome.

I hope you find something that works, and enjoy your con!

[khashanakalashtar]

A few months ago I would've reblogged this with no addition, maybe left a #felt or #mood in the tags, but in the meantime I've had my meds switched out.

The thing I was on before was great at making me not suicidal, I was on it for like seven years, I would have told you I loved it. The first sign that it had stopped working?

Was not being slightly dissociated literally all the time. Which was leaps and bounds a better place to be than miserable, but I had straight up believed real wonder and awe were something I had simply grown out of. I did not think I was capable of those emotions anymore, the kind that lets you stare at a grasshopper and go, "fuck, this EXISTS, look at it!" The mindful kind. If anything, I thought those were emotions reserved for people not living in a world falling to pieces around them, people who had real-life friends and partners and job satisfaction, people who made it to the gym and took walks and ate well-rounded meals.

My meds stopped working and I got back highs and lows, both, I got back wonder and awe and feeling alive and I got back lying in bed using all of my strength not to hurt myself. A whole range of emotions I thought I didn't have anymore.

The first thing they tried me on muted the highs and lows again, but it did nothing for my executive function, and I straight up told my psychiatrist, the amount of sugar I'm having to eat to get myself to do anything is not sustainable. Honestly I could probably handle the bad days if I could function on the in-between days, but I can't make dinner or take a shower or get through a workday without eating handfuls of chocolate, even if my mood feels fine. And I pointed out to my psych: My old medication was a dopamine/norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor. So she switched me to something with epinephrine in it.

Y'all, someday is now.

Someday I'll read this book, someday I'll paint that picture, someday I'll start job hunting, someday I'll schedule an eye doctor appointment--it's now. I'm doing it. I can do it.

I read a YA novel in one sitting. I haven't pulled that shit since high school. I can do more than one thing in a day now. I've scheduled like four things, done the household chores before they started gaining sentience, tried to visit the cobbler and an art exhibit, gotten my mother's Christmas gift, refilled my meds, made serious progress on three pieces of art, applied for several jobs, read that book, planned my Halloween costume, and voted within, like, the last week.

Because, now? I can decide to do a thing and just do it. There's minimal arguing with myself. It doesn't take effort to move from the "fine I'll do it" stage to actually doing it.

I keep cycling through a couple repeating thoughts. "Is this what it's like to be neurotypical?" "It was never supposed to be this hard?" "I've actually been disabled for my entire adult life, in the legal sense of significantly impairing my ability to do things in several areas of my life and not just the 'mental illness counts' sense?"

And also, "Every time I thought, 'Is this really all there is?' the answer was no?"

It's not perfect. Brain still requires more rest than I want it to. Couldn't leave the house today, or spend the daytime working on art or applications, but I took a shower and did the laundry, including the ironing, and that's more than I usually get out of days like this.

(And you know what, it's a lot easier to get exercise or eat balanced meals or clean your shower before it molds or do activism if you don't have to fight yourself about it for hours. It's like the opposite of a negative spiral. It's easier to maintain friendships and develop new ones and consider career paths and find things that give you joy and purpose.)

You know how we're always telling suicidal teens that they don't know what their life is going to be like yet, that they can't begin to imagine how different adulthood is going to be and the person they're going to become? I think we need to stop forgetting that this applies to every stage of life to some degree. Teenage Kieran had no idea what life was like, because they had only experienced a piece of it, but early 20s Kieran and late 20s Kieran also had no idea what life was like, and they would never have believed Kieran today existed. I can only assume that I still have no idea what life is like in my 30s and 40s and after. The idea that "you never know what the future might hold" has actual meaning to me now.

I don't want to imply that all of you just need to get on better meds, I know that's not the answer or even feasible for everyone. I just want people to know that it isn't a platitude when I say you never know what the future might hold. You might get to practically-30 and have the hopeless grind of a life that you can't look too far in the future of without depressing yourself suddenly look like an opportunity.

Also that "not actively suicidal" is a fine first goal for an antidepressant, but maybe don't stay on it for seven years without at least considering raising your standards.

Someday might come.

i thought my suicidal late teens were the hardest years of my life but nothing could’ve prepared me for my 20s waking up everyday with no purpose, feeling so lost, unable to keep up with friendships, watching everyone move on with relationships and careers and being unable to catch up. and I’m such a “life is not a race” type of person but damn I’m losing so hard rn

[may-bonne]

Before I share my "highly anticipated" thoughts on Bloodrayne thoughts I will say that the thought of sharing that fucking poem with Chris Sanchez is hysterical to me. She'd give such a dirty look lmao

From what I've looked into, the Bloodrayne games take place in the 1930s not the 18th century, you kill nazis, Rayne is more of a seductress type character, and only her and Kagan exist? Disappointed that there's no game version of Katarin

I like how the blood and gore is sorta cheesy. My favorite part is where a couple of guys are beating the shit out of a dude on the ground that's already been cut in half. His intestines are hanging out like I think you can stop. It's not an exploitation film like Machete but it feels like it should have been

The blue contacts they gave Mrod are so strange. I didn't even notice she was wearing them until over halfway through the movie. So subtle. Slightly unsettling too ❤️

Astounding how almost every performance is so bad. Papa Katarin was decent. Mrod gave one of the best and it's still one of the weakest she's ever given. Kagan was the worst imo that man did not give a shit to the point it was funny. The Hamburger(?) guy positively chewed the scenery. I read that the guy who played Vladimir was drunk the whole time. I kinda liked him though. I also liked Kristanna despite how wooden she was at points. Makes me think of her role in Terminator 3 (she was a y2cunty robot)

The Brimstone necklaces look like something you'd buy at Spirit Halloween. Katarin's silly little cape outfit also seems particularly like a halloween costume. I could send a whole ask about her wardrobe alone I love it. Her and Rayne stick out like sore thumbs but my favorite thing is the bright iliac coat and blatantly store bought capris

I don't know if I'm not understanding correctly or if Rayne's backstory made no sense. If a dhampir is born from a human and a vampire having a kid and Rayne was alive to watch and remember Kagan raping her mother, how did she end up a dhampir??

(The haircut they gave Kagan's lapdog was so stupid btw. I don't like the look in his eyes either. Why does he look at everything so intently!!)

They could have done something legitimately interesting with Katarin and her fahthah if they delved into how him being turned complicated her relationship with him and vampires, and how he had to leave Brimstone for being a danger or whatever but then Rayne is let in with open arms. I could also see Vladimir becoming a second father figure to her

Although it was obvious Katarin wasn't happy her betrayal heel turn moment felt abrupt. I wish we saw Rayne try to reason with Katarin before killing her and sucking the blood from her neck homoerotically. She doesn't try during their slow duel either! She says they'll continue later and leaves abruptly and never comes back to it. I wanted to see Rayne try to earn Katarin's trust. I don't get why Rayne lied about what Katarin did after she died. Or Katarin's "they fear what they don't understand" line since she never pretended to be in support of Rayne's presence outside of that

We were robbed of an enemies to lover storyline

the swordfight is SO SLOW hahaha. go for the fucking bare stomach or neck maybe!! i can't imagine uwe invested in extensive fight training but they look like kids with plastic weapons duking it out in the back yard

apparently rayne doesn't fight any nazis until the third movie despite that being her whole thing in the source material. i know this is one of those uwe boll video game adaptations that were never supposed to turn a profit to take advantage of german tax rebates or something so i wonder if he thought the nazi-fighting vampire thing wouldn't go over well. they didn't film in germany and i don't think it had government backing or anything but maybe he needed to maintain good will to keep the scheme working. i cannot believe he managed to get two sequels made. this movie kind of tanked kristanna loken's career which looked like it was maybe going to take off post-terminator so i guess i'm glad he kept employing her. apparently actors enjoy working with him bc he's chill and shoots everything really quickly and everyone understands the end product isn't going to be that great. although mrod does seem to be taking her role very seriously

i'm genuinely not sure why her performance is so terrible. the accent doesn't help and many of her lines are very stupid but i feel like she's managed to stay compelling while delivering pretty dumb lines in other movies. i wonder if either she concluded independently or somebody told her that because she's supposed to be a leader she needed to speak with! gravitas! which could be the source of that weird flat overenunciating thing

at first i thought the contacts were foreshadowing some kind of supernatural reveal but i guess she was just supposed to seem european lol. the betrayal was really abrupt but it's not like anything in this movie happens with a whole lot of buildup. i saw zero indication rayne was into that dude until he yanked her shirt off and started fucking her up against the bars

i did enjoy the underwater wrestling and the part where she's sucking katarin's neck. mm. despite the time period i'm adding katarin to my very short list of mrod characters who seem like maybe they could admit to themselves they wanted to bang chicks only because like i said before i feel like the vampire thing would overshadow it. after paul walker died when she went off the rails for a while i wish she'd said fuck it and done like...probably some kind of lesbian indie film would still be too much to ask for but maybe like a really trashy male gaze-y pulp film where she was like a bisexual serial killer. if i were cara i would've floated that between excursions to controversial exotic animal petting zoos and recreational iv spas. but instead she swung the other way and made that movie where she's like a third grade teacher lol

[anythingbutmar]

The other Sandy

Harry Styles x reader

Summary: Every year you come up with amazing costume ideas for you and your best friend, it’s your thing! Or at least it used to be until he dumped you for a complete stranger.

Prompt: 2. “we team up for the couples contest every year as friends but this year you’re with someone else and I’m definitely Not Jealous and definitely Not Realizing Feelings”

A/N: TO THE ANON WHO SENT THIS REQUEST I’M SO SO SORRY I HATE MYSELF FOR THIS. I hope you still enjoy it a month later :/. The ending kinda sucks so I’m sorry about that too.

Warnings: a little bit of angst, swearing.

“What’s wrong dear?” Your mother asked as she entered your room and saw you staring at your phone with a frown.

“Harry hasn’t been answering me.” You pouted at her.

“He’s probably busy honey, you know he had that camping thing. What’s so important anyways?”

“Halloween’s this weekend! And I don’t know if he approves of my idea! Besides, he doesn’t seem busy, he’s perfectly available to read my texts, he just keeps ignoring me.”

Your mom stroked your cheek, probably thinking about just how spoiled you are. “Maybe he’s going with that girl he’s dating, Candance was it?”

“They’re not dating mom! They’re just sort of… seeing each other.”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about, I’m sure he’ll show up wearing whatever costume you tell him to as he does every year.” She smiled reassuringly. “That boy really should set some boundaries.” She laughed as she left your room.

You decided to listen to your mother, if Harry wasn’t answering he probably had a good reason, and he already knew what to wear, so you just hoped he would follow through, or else you’d be looking like a complete idiot, and after three years of winning couple’s costumes at Emma’s party, you knew all eyes would be on you.

The rest of the week flew by, and soon you found yourself locked in your bathroom with a curling iron on your hand, thinking about the past years and how everyone always thought you were together because of your chemistry. You smiled at the mirror, loving you you looked with red lips and a black leather jacket: the living image of Sandy Olsson

You grabbed your car keys and your purse and kissed your mom goodbye before leaving your house.

“Bring Harry after the party’s over darling, I want to take a picture!” Your mom yelled from her bedroom door and you gave her a thumbs up as you entered your car.

The road was nice, which was great for you since you were already running late and there were butterflies roaming on your stomach. You told yourself you were just anxious about the party but you were starting to think there might have been something else going on, you had a bad feeling that you couldn’t shake off.

Your suspicions were confirmed when you knocked twice and Emma opened with a look of pity through her skull makeup. “Y/N, babe! Come in!” She faked a smile and you couldn’t understand why, because as soon as your gaze turned to the living room, everything felt just fine.

There he was, handsome as ever with his slicked back hair, that tight white shirt, matching leather jacket and... Sandy clinging to his arm. Your worst Skins UK nightmares came true when you reminded how Michelle found

It was perfect, small blonde Candance and tattooed, blue eyed Harry. You hated to admit it but they both looked extremely attractive and that’s what hurt most. You would never be the Sandy to his Danny because you weren’t good enough.

“Y/N wait!” You heard behind you as you walked back to your car with tears in your eyes. It had started raining but you couldn’t care less, the night was over for you anyways.

Or at least it was until Harry grabbed your arm and you turned around with a murderous look. You had no right to be mad at him for dating someone but being furious was better than admitting you were just sad because he wasn’t yours. “No Harry, it’s alright! I couldn’t care less that you ignored me for a week! I don’t mind at all that you let me embarrass myself in front of everyone! You could’ve just told me you were coming with Candance and that’s it you twat!” You raised your voice at him, standing on your tiptoes so you could look at him dead in the eyes.

“No, wait love, you don’t understand, my friends wouldn’t let me answer any of your texts! Or anyone’s for that matter.”

“Oh god, you’re so full of shit! You know what? That costume suits you perfectly! You’re that fuckboy who thinks he can play around with everyone’s feelings and then lie to their face!” You were pushing the wrong buttons by calling him that but you didn’t care, you just wanted to make him angry, as angry as you were.

“Oh really? And now you’re gonna say that Candance is a bitch like Rizzo?!” His chest moved along with his harsh breathing and, for a second, you couldn’t look away from the butterfly under his wet shirt. That bastard knew how to be distracting.

“Of course not! You know I think Rizzo’s a highly misunderstood character! And for the record, I actually think that we can both fit the Sandy costume pretty well! After all, we’re both silly girls who fell for you!” You were now yelling and all eyes were on you, you caught Candance’s compassionate gaze and felt bad for her, she didn’t deserve any drama. “Let’s go Candance, I’m gonna buy you some ice cream.” You pouted, letting go of Harry’s hand.

“You fell for me?” Your eyes went wide as you realized why everyone was on the doorstep. You had just confessed to feelings that you were only now acknowledging to yourself in front of everyone you knew.

“No I didn’t.” You spluttered out but it was too late, Harry was already closing the space between you two. He pushed you against the car door and wasted no time in kissing you like the world was about to end.

His mouth felt so damn soft against yours, and his cold hands on your back were making you see stars with your eyes closed. It was ethereal, there was no other way to explain it. It felt like you had been waiting ages for this to happen, like that kiss was everything you’d ever wanted and maybe it was, maybe you were in denial about feelings that were now too strong to hide.

Harry pulled away and placed his hand on the back of your neck, staring at you with that charming smile of his. “You know, Candance and I were just talking about how it was such a coincidence that we were dressed up like this.” He chuckled lightly. “Her girlfriend’s right there.” He pointed towards the house and you just noticed a tall girl with a pink ladies jacket and a Rizzo wig, who waved at you along with Candance.

“Oh, I see.” You waved back, turning red with shame.

“Well I know who’s winning the contest for the fourth year in a row!” Exclaimed Emma from inside her house. “Our favorite drenched couple!” Everyone laughed with her and you turned back to kiss Harry again.

“Oh shit!” You suddenly realized.

“What’s wrong baby?” He asked, making you swoon.

“Mom wants to see you later! And I can’t exactly take you with all that red lipstick on your face!”

“I can just wipe it off if you want me to.”

“I don’t know about that, it looks kinda good on you.” You both laughed before you went back inside the house with your hands intertwined.

And now you had no intention to ever leave his side. 

[thevestigeofvanillaan]

Ten years.

james patrick march x female reader.

content: mentions of smut, maid costume (for work lol), (mentions of) death.

That stupid slutty maid uniform you'd to wear for work purposes. Didn't look a day over 25, and never aged. Though, really, you'd live on for many more decades than you already have. That number being ten as of today.

The ten year anniversary is important. Though it's technically your 100th anniversary.. but every decade, you'd have sex with the man who turned you.

That man? He's named James Patrick March. Most call him Mr. March, the man who built Hotel Cortez. The famous hotel being known for how those who stayed there, often don't leave. Can't leave.

Walking down the hallway, your hair and makeup were done like how you usually did with your little maid costume on as you dust the window sills.

The room turns cold and next thing you know James is at your shoulder, kissing at your exposed neck as he caresses your waist from behind you. Wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer to his body. His cold body that to you, felt warm.

"Mmm. James. Haven't seen you in a while." You smile when you see him looking at your reflection in the window.

He smirks and you turn around to face him. "Miss me, princess?" He asks and you scoff.

Pushing his shoulder, you say "Only ever get to see you so little. Sure you missed me more than I missed you." Presenting yourself to him with a big smile on your features.

Gorgeous, you were. That's why you were such a good killer, you killed hundreds of men who wanted to have sex with you. When you attempted to kill James, it hadn't worked.

He laughed and brought his hand to his back where the stab wound was, bringing back his blood covered finger before sucking on it. "Haven't tasted my own blood in a couple years, sweetheart. Want a taste?" He'd asked.

Nodding with a confused expression, shifting your naked body beneath him as he takes both your hands, one still holding the bloody knife, and holds them above your head on the pillow. He stares down at you with a face full of lust and what looked like admiration.

"Not a bad tactic, getting them in your bed then getting them in the back."

"It's not always like that. Some people even let me mess with the knife sexually before I stab them. Others don't see it coming and I'll get them right in the throat." You lick your lips as you smile up at him and laugh. He leans down right in front of your face before kissing you softly.

After the two of you had sex you laid beside him on the bed in his hotel, the bed being covered in his blood, your bodies being similarly red. Your forearm having a bite wound. "I'm dead now.?"

"Still can't believe it can you, sweetheart?" He smirks down at you and you sit up out of his arms, getting on your knees and looking at him in the eyes with a confused expression.

"I don't feel dead. People can still see me?"

"Mmm, they can. Only when you want them to, really."

You look in the mirror, bringing your forearm so it's spread out affront the mirror, staring at it. James sits up and rubs your shoulders as the two of you make eye contact through the mirror.

And that's how you were turned. And that's how you met James Patrick March.

"This room was the same one I turned you in. You know that?"

"That's why I'm cleaning it." You smile and put down the duster, walking over to the bed and crawling onto it.

Sitting, watching James fill two glasses with the alcohol sitting on the table before brining one to you. Clinking them together, bringing the glass down to hit your bare thigh before drinking it, head falling back.

He watched as you did so, with admiration spread across his features. "You know, I don't do this little anniversary with anyone else I've turned. Just you." He cups your chin into one of his hands to make you look at him.

Smiling softly, "Good."

Taking your empty glass from your hand and placing it on the table where it came from, his own too. He turns just his upper torso in your direction to look at what the shuffling noise he heard was. Shaking his head and smirking with his mouth slightly agape. "You know you don't work here, right?"

"I know that. I just.. like cleaning I guess."

"No. You like being around, alive and seen."

You stay silent. He wasn't wrong, but. You didn't want to see it that way. He gets off the bed and walks to the door, smirking at you when he sees your pretty little frown in confusion. "I'll be back.. and you should stay in that uniform."

[defying-gravityfalls]

Here we are, 10 years later

Hey folks. It's been a while. I really wanted to have something to post in time for the anniversary but I've gotten held up and was unable to make anything in time for the date. We are however on 618 today! So I'll take what I can get lol.

You may have noticed this account has been pretty barren the last couple years, and it's not hard to guess that is because I had moved on, I have fallen into other hyperfixations, and I'm also an adult now with more responsibilities than I had when I was running this account as a teenager. I almost have some sort of guilt from leaving this behind and even wonder if anyone still cares about what's on here, which is part of the reason I haven't posted much. But I'm feeling nostalgic and I want to talk about Gravity Falls and this is the perfect place to do it! So I thought I'd give you all an update on what I have going on and how I've circled back here.

Let me just start off by saying I'm sorry for falling through on a giveaway I had promised right before I had left this account, I still feel bad about it, I was at a real low point in life and should have never promised something I felt I could not follow through on. I didn't know what else to do except run away from it. But I'm better now, and to anyone who is still upset at me over this I encourage you to contact me for a free commission of your choice, because I'm actually serious about art now! (Seriously you have no idea how bad I feel about this I am so so sorry yall)

I have had one major hyperfixation since my GF one faded, and that would be Hatchetfield. I guess I'm just drawn to small towns where weird things happen! In the same way GF changed my life, Hatchetfield also has, I would not be where I am today without either of them. And if you also like Hatchetfield I have side account if you wanna check it out! This is definitely where I'm most active these days. I actually have a fic for it with a premise which many times has been compared to Bipper, and yes I do think that is an accurate callout lol

I've also gotten into The Owl House quite a bit lately, I wasn't too into it when it first started airing like I was with GF but once season 2 hit I started watching pretty regularly, and I'm sure many of you also watch it because of Dana. I'm definitely not as into it as I was with GF but I'm having a good time! A thing doesn't have to take over my life to be good lol.

On a personal note I have moved back to Minnesota! I'm currently a waitress trying to save up enough money for an apartment, I haven't finished college yet but now instead of animation/writing I'm hoping to get/finish my degree in theatre with a focus on costuming and SFX makeup. While I still love animation and could see it as something I would like to be a part of, theatre just seems more realistic to me at this point, and I like it and am already kinda good at it! I've always done theatre, this makes sense for me.

Back to why I came here. With all the hype recently leading up to the 10th anniversary I have been missing Gravity Falls, and I have been missing the community, and I want to get involved again. I don't think I ever truly left Gravity Falls behind, it stayed with me one way or the other, having this presence in my life I couldn't deny, and I think I want to come back home to it. My life has changed a lot the past 10 years, i wanna look back on something that made me so happy.

So I'm gonna try to be more active on this blog! I'm gonna start a long overdue rewatch on the series and maybe liveblog some parts of it. I think that's a good starting point. I'm happy to be back, and I hope I maybe still have friends here after being absent for a few years, and I'm willing to make new ones too. Thank you everybody, for everything. Stay weird.

[rendevousz]

not a lonely birthday

teen!actress!reader x platonic!jeremy renner

brief reader x marvel cast

req by @maximeevansblog : The reader (me ) is dating jeremy renner its the readers birtday, and jeremy renner spoiling her, taking to the hair salon and to the nail salon , and the trows a party for her, and he asks her to marry him, and a couple months later the reader is asked to been on say yes to the dress and alot of fluff please (i'm so sorry i couldn't write your exact request. i added the other cast too but it's still mainly jeremy renner so i hope you enjoy this still)

summary: you thought you were gonna have to spend your birthday alone but jeremy had other plans.

word count: 3296

note: i told her i couldn't really write romance because my blog is mainly teen!reader and she said i could just turn it into an x teen!reader so i did. i mean, i can write a non teen!reader but it probably won't be anytime soon so i'm not taking requests that aren't x teen!reader as of now <33

"are you sure you'll be okay?"

"yes, mum, i'll be fine here. i've been doing fine for the past two and a half months, what's another week without you guys gonna do to me?" you told your mother on the phone, rolling your eyes at her excessive, unnecessary worrying.

"we're so sorry about this, sweetheart," you heard your dad speak and you figured he must've been listening the whole time. your mum must've had it on speaker since the beginning of the phone call.

"you shouldn't have to spend your birthday all alone. i promise we'll make it up to you, honey." your mother spoke again and you groaned. "i keep telling you that it's fine. and what do you take me for, a loner? i've got the others here, mum, i'll be fine." you told her, a smile ghosting over your lips at how concerned she is of you.

your birthday was coming in two days and having a whole movie to film meant that you weren't allowed to leave the country for just a weekend to celebrate it with your family. so, they worked around your schedule and planned a trip to visit. unfortunately, your idiot of a brother managed to get himself into a skating accident and had to be hospitalised, affecting their whole plan of coming to celebrate your 18th birthday with you. well, not on the day of your birthday, at least.

"i'll make sure sarah'll bring you out to celebrate, okay? i'm so sorry about this, y/n." you could practically hear the pout in her voice and you held back the urge to tell her off for profusely apologising, you didn't want to receive a beating when she finally arrives here.

"i'll be fine, mum," you whined. "as i said, i'll be filming on my birthday too so i'll at least be with the cast then. it's never a dull day with them. and i'll be waiting for your gift from sarah on my birthday." you teased her. you knew she had a habit of getting birthday gifts way too early. for once, she was grateful for that because she had given sarah—your manager and also a family friend— your birthday present for her to safe-keep in case anything like this happened and she couldn't give it to you on your birthday.

"i'll give you permission to whack your brother once we come." your dad tells you seriously and you laughed. "thanks, dad. i'll be sure to remember it. anyways, i have to get back on set soon. i'll talk to you guys when i can?"

"of course, honey. have fun on set!" your parents bid you goodbye and you hung up with an adoring smile on your face. you missed your family and having been able to hear your parents' voices for a mere five minutes was enough to cure it for even just a little bit. sure, you were disappointed that you weren't going to get to spend your birthday with them but spending it doing what you love—acting— with the people, aside from your family and friends from home, that you love—the cast— didn't sound so bad.

"i'm so sorry about this, darling." you heard someone say, effectively breaking your train of thoughts. you turned to the source of the voice, meeting the hazel eyes of your manager and long-time family friend, sarah. she pulls you in for a hug that you groaned into but still returned. you rolled your eyes playfully when she let go. "i'm not upset, sarah."

"i know. but you're disappointed." she says softly, fixing your costume after the hug messed it up a little. "maybe i am, but it doesn't matter. i chose this life so technically i brought all of this upon myself. i signed up to have a normal life stripped away from me." you told her honestly, internally cringing because you hadn't meant to get that deep.

"y/n," her hands rested on both of your shoulders and she looks down at you with that stern mum glare she'd give you whenever you were being a little troublemaker. she was practically your second mum, having promised your own that she'd take care of you whenever you had to travel for filming.

"i know, i know, i'm sorry. i didn't mean it in a bad way. i love my job but it sucks that i have to be far away from family, you know?" you sighed. "i understand, darling. it's hard but hey, i'll be with you the whole day, okay? we'll go out and have a nice girl's day out together, do whatever you want. that sound nice to you?" she places a gentle hand against your skin, careful not to rub the fake dirt and wound makeup on your face.

"that sounds great, sarah. i have only a half day of filming that day, right?" you ask her, knowing she remembers your schedule better than you yourself do. "yup. anyways, they need you on set 3. get out there and make me proud, darling."

-

"and....cut!" the director called out and you dramatically dropped limp against the wire harness attached to your body, the wires holding up your weight so you didn't drop down to the floor but also didn't have to remain standing on your own.

you heard sebastian laughing, him being the closest to you in the scene you had just filmed. "you tired, y/n/n?" evans chuckled as he walked towards where you and seb were standing. "yeah, i just wanna sleep right now." you told them, standing up on your own when a crew member wanted to get your harness off.

"well, at least you get to rest now. you're done for the day right?" seb asked, the three of you now walking to the snack table together. "yeah but sarah wanted to take me out so maybe not rest but i'll get to relax. that's good enough," you say, peeling off a banana and taking a bite while the two men drank some water.

"she's taking you out later today? is there a special occasion?" chris asked and you smiled at him. "nah, nothing much. she just thought i've been stressed lately." you lied. you didn't want to seem attention-seeking for telling chris and sebastian that it was your birthday so you settled on a little lie.

"she's not wrong. you have been working hard and you deserve a relaxing evening off work." seb agreed.

"oh she's walking over here right now. are you going now?" chris asked, eyes trained behind you as he watched sarah coming closer. you turned around, meeting her frown-etched face and you blinked profusely in confusion. "i thought we're going in two hours?"

"y/n, i'm so sorry. some stuff came up and i have last minute errands to run all day," she told you, offering a guilty expression when your face dropped slightly. "oh.. i– um, yeah, it's fine."

"are you sure it's fine? i promised you though," she frowned. "it's fine, i know you have a lot to handle and it's totally fine if we don't go out today. i'll just take a nap and be on netflix all day, i guess." you joked but sarah didn't laugh. "sarah, it's fine. you know i've been wanting to catch up on a list of shows. when else will i be able to do this?" you assured her, trying to mask your disappointment.

"i have to go now. i'll make it up to you, darling, i promise." she gave you a hug before running off somewhere. you felt bad for her because she probably had to be running here and there all day but it didn't change that you were disappointed. maybe you really did deserve this for choosing this life.

"hey kiddo," you felt someone ruffle your hair and you were almost going to go off on them for doing that before remembering you had just finished your last scene for the day. an arm rested over your shoulder and you looked up to see jeremy taking over sarah's previous spot.

"um excuse me? do we not exist?" chris joked when jeremy didn't greet him nor seb. jeremy rolled his eyes at them, turning back to look down at you. "you did great today, kiddo." he complimented and you smiled, thanking him.

"wow okay, i guess we really don't exist, huh? c'mon seb, let's go somewhere else where people appreciate our presence." evans sassed, glaring at you two as both men strutted away.

"good riddance," jeremy said, dropping his arm so that you two were now face to face. "happy birthday, y/n." he says, handing you a little bronze coloured box. you gasped as you took it in your hands.

"how'd you know it was my birthday?" you asked him, eyes wide in surprise. "of course i know your birthday, kiddo. after all, you are my favourite co-star." he grins, gesturing for you to open the box.

you did and your hand immediately flew to cover your mouth in shock. "jeremy! you didn't!" you gently took out the necklace from the box, examining it closely. the charm was in the shape of your favourite animal and the chain was gold. this must've costed him a fortune.

"jeremy, you didn't have to!" you exclaimed, pouting at him to prevent yourself from bursting into tears right then and there. "kiddo, i love you a lot, how could i not?"

playing clint's adopted, eldest daughter in the films, as well as a member of the avengers, you and jeremy worked together a lot. he helped you a lot with practicing your lines and emotions for specific scenes and you bonded over so many things you two had in common. even off set jeremy still acted like your father so practically everyone knew how close you two were. if sarah is considered your second mum, you'd say jeremy is your second dad.

"so i heard sarah bailed on your birthday date today," he says as he helped you put on the necklace, smiling fondly when you looked down at it happily. "thanks a lot, jeremy. you really didn't have to," you hugged him tight, the man chuckling as he hugged you back.

"and sarah didn't bail. she just has errands to run all day. can't blame her, she's a busy woman." you told him. "yeah yeah, anyways, how 'bout i take you out instead? a birthday lunch and a day out with your favourite cast mate?" he wiggles his eyebrows at you, a smirk playing on his lips.

"you don't have anymore scenes to shoot?" you ask. "i do but i have plenty of time before then." he replies. you agreed happily and he tells you to meet him outside the set in an hour so you two could change out of your costumes.

-

"you ready for the best day ever, kiddo?" jeremy asks as you entered the passenger seat. "best day ever? then shouldn't we invite the rest?" you teased, buckling your seatbelt. "hey! i'm pretty fun too!"

you chuckled at his childishness. "i'm kidding, you are fun. now let's go already, i'm starving." you complained and he started the engine, letting you play whatever songs you wanted as background to your small talk.

you had lunch first at your favourite restaurant but not before you two had a debate of whether you were allowed to because you were supposed to be on a diet during the length of the movie shooting and him ultimately going 'to hell with that diet, it's your special day' and then dragging you in. after that, he said he had a surprise for you and told you to just get in the car.

when he finally stopped somewhere, you realised it was a pretty well known hair salon in town and you tilted your head in confusion. why would he bring you here?

"you said you wanted to dye your hair, didn't you? let's do it." he says nonchalantly, unbuckling his seatbelt before you both exited the car. "are you crazy? we're still in the middle of filming!" you exclaim in disbelief. this man was crazy.

"yeah but it's not like they can't just get a wig of your current hair and use that for the rest of the filming. scar and lizzie wear wigs all the time, you can too. now let's go dye that stupid colour you want!" he cheers, tugging you along with him by your wrist, into the salon. you chuckled at his antics, letting him drag you.

the next hour or two was spent with you worrying that your parents would kill you for this, or worse, anthony or joe. you knew it would be a meltdown for them if you came back with your hair a completely different colour.

jeremy assured you that the russos, as well as your parents, would not get mad at this but you were pretty sure you'd get an earful from both pairs. you made him promise that he would talk to both parties that he was the one who convinced you to do this. but once your hair was done, all worries flew out the window as you admired your new hair.

"you look great, kiddo. this colour looks good on you." he looks at you with a fond smile, trying to resist the urge to ruffle your newly done hair but failing. you pouted at him when he did so, reaching up to fix it again. "sorry, y/n/n, couldn't resist," he states, pinching your cheek.

"alright, next stop now, let's go!" he pulls you by the wrist once again and you let him, used to him doing this already. the next time he stopped, you damn right almost had another heart attack because again, this man was crazy.

he did not just bring you to a nail place. surely he isn't about to let you get your nails done, right? the russos would have your head and his too if you were to get them done and casually get back to the studio.

"no." you said firmly, crossing your arms over your chest as you stayed seated in the passenger seat. "c'mon, y/n/n," he whined, throwing a tantrum outside the car door as he tried to get you to leave the car.

"no, jeremy, they'll literally send me back here to get it off because in case you forgot, in all my scenes, i don't have fancy nails." you reasoned, noticing that jeremy has now moved to your side of the car and the passenger seat door has now been opened, the man continuing to make a fuss closer to you now.

"no they will not, i'll make sure they don't. c'mon kiddo, it's your birthday, let's have a little fun!" he says but you were still unsure about the whole thing. "i don't know.."

"okay fine i guess i'll tell you this now. they didn't want to tell you until later today because they wanted it to be your kinda birthday present but your avenger suit has changed. it's not like the one in the last movie, it's got gloves now! and the rest of your scenes excluding the last few ones are all in your superhero suit right?" your eyes widened at this new information, a smile growing on your lips.

"wait, for real? are you sure they're not just fingerless gloves?" he smiles down at you. "yeah. i planned this day well, okay? put some trust in me, geez," he sassed, moving out of your way as you finally exited the car.

"this better not be a joke, renner, because if it is, i'll have your head." you threatened jokingly. "yeah, yeah. oh also, can you just pretend to be shocked when they tell you about your suit upgrade? because i really wasn't supposed to tell you this." he scratched the back of his head awkwardly as you walked two walked into the nail salon.

the entire time, he awkwardly sat at the side, waiting for you to be done. when you were though, he quickly got up, as if he had been restless sitting down the whole time.

"they're pretty," he says as you walked back to his car. "yeah, i really like them. haven't had my nails done in a long time." you replied, getting in the car and waiting for jeremy to get in on his side. once he did, he immediately started the engine and started driving back to the set where he had to continue shooting and where you knew sarah would be waiting for you.

it was after many different topics and finally arriving outside the set did you decide to get a little emotional. "hey, i just wanna say thanks for today. i thought i was gonna spend the day alone watching netflix all day like some loser but you made this day really enjoyable. you have no idea how much this really means to me, thank you so much jeremy. i love you." you pouted at him, trying not to cry. "aw kiddo, of course. you're an important person to me. couldn't let you be a loser on your special day," he teases, bringing you into a hug where he didn't miss his chance to ruffle your hair.

once you let go, he kept an arm around your shoulder as you both walked in. he opened the door for you both and you almost jumped in place.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

your jaw dropped at the sight in front you. every single one of your co-stars, along with some crew members were wearing party hats holding up a banner that said 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Y/N'. sarah was in the middle, holding a huge birthday cake with a smile on her face. you slowly walked towards her, hand over your mouth in shock.

sarah gave the cake over to robert before opening her arms up for you. you gave her a tight hug. "you didn't have to do all this," you say, letting go of her. "jeremy and i planned this right when your mother called beforehand and told me they couldn't come in time." she explained.

you turned to jeremy who had been standing next to you the whole time, giving him another hug which he happily accepted. "you guys didn't have to." you told them, trying not to cry at the thought that these people loved you enough to do this for you.

"but we wanted to. and the rest wanted to join in too. now before you start bawling your eyes out, let's get this party started!" he cheered.

"but before that, make a wish, kiddo." robert tells you after evans finished lighting up all the candles. you closed your eyes, making a wish and blowing them all out. everyone cheered before walking away to grab food or to talk to others. or in your cast mates' cases, fighting over who gets to give you your present first.

"you knew it was my birthday!" you exclaimed when you locked eyes with evans, who was in the middle of a brawl with both mackie and robert. he laughed out loud. "yeah! i did! your lie couldn't fool me, child!" he says dramatically, before being pushed aside by robert.

you laughed as they continued to fight right in front of you about who you love more and therefore getting to be first to give you their gift. they even managed to slip in a few compliments about your new hair, while they were literally fighting. you watched in glee, realising that even if your biological family couldn't make it for your special day, you still had a second one to make it special.

taglist <3

@amourtentiaa @rqmanoff @abitofeverythinggg @andreasworlsboring101 @cay-writes-fan-fiction514 @teenwonder @sevenmorningstars @fleurlovesbucky

[mgsapphire]

Ethics and morality... and how they're not the same...

Weird title, and I don't even know if I'll properly approach this one with all the topics I wish to this discuss in today's The Devil Judge essay, because a lot of things peaked my interest, I was debating on doing a separate post for each subject, but I'll do them all in here:

Starting simple

I know we're only 4 episodes in, but I want to break down the things that I often look for in a new show:

Cinematography

Soundtrack

Character building

Plot devices

Social commentary (sometimes)

Of course, these are things most people would consider basics, but I find that a lot of TV shows don't have enough balance in them. Also, cinematography and soundtrack are pretty up there for me because when a plot gets slow, or something like that, I stay for those two (biggest example: King Eternal Monarch).

The soundtrack in The Devil Judge is amazing and the cinematography can be a character of its own. They really get me hooked and are used as tools to properly tell a story. And I'll get into that further down this post.

The onlooker will never understand the actor

Experience is your best friend not only applies to job hunting, but it's true in the real world too. You can't truly weigh in on something unless you've experienced it yourself, you can give it your judgment and everything, but when bad things happen to someone, you'll never truly understand their pain. Am I bringing up because of the difference of mind in Judge Kang and Judge Kim's opinions? On how the public treated the minister's son? No. I'm talking about a very specific scene, where the cinematography told me to think that way and not the dialogue (it's that easy for my mind to be swayed). In episode 3, when the rich are about to dine right after the foundation's commercial for a better future, we see this aerial shot:

What's interesting about this? The seclusion and the enclosed feeling it conveys as a counterpart to the poverty shots we were just shown. Yet, these are the people making ads for a better future, what do they know?

They live comfortably behind concrete walls with no windows to see what goes on apart from the bubble they live in. This idea is further enforced at the party in episode 4, where they're not even a part of the donations, and watch and mock from afar as spectators. Yet, these people call the shots. They even call it commenting, as if they were watching the pain of others on TV.

The intriguing personality and the duality it encites

Now, this was a costume and wardrobe decision, but it was also very well thought of:

Judge Kim wears white and Judge Kang wears black. One is morally perceived by viewers of the show as morally good and the other is perceived as morally dubious at best. However, besides the costume and wardrobe thought put into this, we also have to think about the delivery of this scene and how it may further affect my detailing of this section. Judge Kang brings down the coats, and hangs over the coat to Judge Kim, he's the one who is making that annotation: You're pure, I'm tainted. This can have one of two interpretations:

Either Judge Kang believes Judge Kim to be pure and innocent due to his status as a rookie in the field

Or he believes Judge Kim to be morally white and himself morally black as he's looking at his brother's face and not at Judge Kim's heart.

Because most of the back story we're unveiling is through Judge Kim's perception, there's also an inherit bias we're having as well, because in Judge Kim narrative, he believes he's doing what's right and believes Judge Kang to be evil. In being served information about Judge Kang through Judge Kim's eyes, our bias is inherently skewed.

Another thing is that, when they put on the coat, they're standing in front of the other, as if the producers of this series are telling us they're two sides of the same coin.

The duality is made in more deceitful ways, which include:

A difference of classes that implies one has suffered while the other has not.

A difference of experience that implies one is more tainted while the other is pure.

A difference of age that implies one is a sly fox while the other one is is bunny about to be eaten.

A difference of temper that makes one erratic and the other logical.

Power dynamics

This one, in this one I could make a whole thesis based on just a couple of scenes in the drama. And you know I have to mention it: director Jung being the puppeteer.

It may not be as unexpected at first, nevertheless it brings forward a lot of things I've wished to touch upon for quite some time now. A woman being a puppeteer of an old man in the portrayed dystopia that The Devil Judge is painting makes much more sense than more common demonstrations of these dynamics where it's either a:

A man of power being controlled by a bigger man of power.

A man of power being controlled by a seemingly man of a lower status.

A woman being controlled by a man of power.

Although, there's nothing wrong with those power dynamics, and if they were to be used, a message could also be conveyed, this one in particular works as a megaphone.

A subversion of power in such a way can be interpreted as a true indication of the weak overcoming the powerful. Why? It is not that woman are naturally weaker than men, but that in society, patriarchy has been a big factor in taking voice away from women in order to give it to men.

In order for Director Jung to achieve her purposes, it's smarter for her to do it under the pretense that an old rich man in power is the one calling the shots.

This is better exemplified by her stance when the old man tries to excuse his behavior, and what her moral compass is. I'm not saying I agree with her unethical conduct, but that her morality is directly impacted by the perception of the public of her as a weak woman:

Just because a dog bites a human does the person get dirty?

This is telling on how she perceives the actions of the old man in gropping the waitress. She didn't do anything wrong, even if you touched her, you are the dirty one.

While she's evil, it's a refreshing and deep evil.

The public's opinion and how there's actually logic in the show's portrayal

The public opinion can make or break a person, even if it's not on a public trial like this. While "cancel culture" barely works in today's society, a person's reputation is forever tainted. The show does tell that, but it also exhibits the scary downside of it, by showing how easily it was to make people accept flaggelation as a fitting punishment.

There are many experiments that have tried to test the effect of societal pressure on an individual's decision and the effect of the authority's enforcement of power in the outcome of these decisions. Furthermore, theories based on analysis of human behavior not necessarily relying on experiments can also help break this down. What do I mean? Here's a small attempt at explaining:

Milgram Experiment on Authority: which measured the individual willingness to carry out actions that go against their conscience due to an authority's approval.

Argument from Authority; The idea that people are more likely to use an authority's opinion on something as an argument for their reason. This is often seen in science, where trusted authorities have done the research and offer it to the public. In here, authority bias also plays a role, as we often believe, at first, that an authority must be right.

Moral disengagement: basically speaking, because this is evil or bad, I'm not part of it and I most probably am not actively participating in it. One may disengage by moral justification, which means that before engaging in something that has been previously perceived as immoral, I'm changing my stance on it based on what I tell myself to be logical arguments. This particular form of moral disengagement is very effective in changing the public opinion. I'll be touching on another form further down this post.

Other factors played a part, but these ones in particular came to mind when public flagelation as a form of corporeal punishment was wildly accepted. First, an authority is the one telling them it's correct, to go ahead. Secondly, another authority (the minister) had previously shown approval to such unusual punishment. Thirdly, they are not the ones to be engaging directly in the act, and even if they were, it would be acceptable because an authority has told them so. They may even believe the punishment to be a necessary evil for the greater good.

In fact, the minister's son was actually correct when pleading his case, they were accepting it because it wouldn't affect them directly.

Regarding the cinematographic descent of the public opinion regarding the situation can better be exemplified by the old man we've seen through the episodes.

Does suffering justify misdeeds?

Today I came along the difference between excuse and reason. You may give a reason for your behavior, but it doesn't excuse it.

Not because I've suffered through shit, means I have to make you suffer too.

I may explain myself, but it's on the other side to excuse me.

Why I hate the unreliable narrator and why I love it so much

This story has been told mostly through the eyes of Judge Kim and what he hears and sees regarding Judge Kang, if anything, the narrative is very close to that of the narrative we've seen in The Great Gatsby. An enigmatic man is being narrated to us from the eye of a man who hasn't known him for a long time.

How is that an unreliable narrator? The narrator has their own set of bias and moral standards which function as lenses through which they see the world.

Another way of putting it would be the way teenage romances are often written in a first person narrative where either of the two teenagers is the narrator, so the author can sell to us something as simple as offering a pack of gum as the most romantic act on earth. We're perceiving interactions through rose tainted glasses.

In this case, we're seeing the interactions through Judge Kim's eyes who doesn't trust Judge Kang from the get go due to his own preset bias.

The narrative becomes even more unreliable as we're not exactly sure if what Judge Kang disclosed himself is a fact.

The reason why I love this narrative is because it leaves a lot of space to make simple plot twists to a narrative and make them seem grand, and can elongate a story without making it obvious.

The reason why I hate it is because sometimes, in tv shows mostly, we as viewers can see the other side of the story and grow increasingly frustrated with the main character's prejudice and misunderstandings (I'm looking at you my beloved Beyond Evil).

Also, because I have to wait for a long time before I actually have a clear picture of it.

[ssj2dggirl]

Hello again, back with part 2 of grouping together all my remaining Our Life Inktober drawings because I'm dumb and forgot I had a tumblr for a month and a half : D

Day 23: step 3 Miranda and Terri Just a couple of buddies being pals; fully used this as a chance to practice drawing textured hair in my traditional style. I've been doing some practice work with it digitally, but I've always been bad at it traditionally so this was good. Definitely going to keep working on that!

Day 24: step 3 Baxter So canonically this man takes ballroom dancing classes and shit but you can't convince me that he's never taken ballet before, if only to further his flexibility to make this joke lmao. And in skinny jeans too-!

Day 25: favorite moment in step 3 It's a running theme with these prompts that I can't decide what the hell to draw because every moment is so damn good so yeah. Honestly though if forced to choose I would have to pick the dlc moment Reflection, because getting to hear a more in-depth and serious look at Cliff and Kyra's marriage and Cove's early childhood was absolutely incredible. It was so well done, especially with how lighthearted and fun a lot of the game is. But I couldn't think of anything to draw for that moment and was stuck thinking about the dlc Happiness moment so yeah, I ended up drawing that bit at the end where you switch the plans on Cove and take him to the poppy field <3

Day 26: halloween outfits! I didn't want to go too ambitious considering I was already super behind in the event at this point, so I just drew step 1 Cove and Hunter in their spooky costumes. Cove is a zombie, as per canon for the year he got his cast off, and he convinced a reluctant Hunter to dress up too. Hunter, as a little brat, thought dress-up was dumb, but humored his friend by picking a blood-splattered biohazard suit thing lmao

Day 27: step 3 charity outfits Just a lovely drawing of the boys in their suits for the charity moment. Hunter wasn't a member of ORCA, but went to support his bff. Bonus flustered Cove slowly coming to terms with his feelings for his friend~

The last few prompts of the month were about step 4 and the poppy hill and I decided to just kind of combine them all into a big finale piece since by that point it was already November and I was getting burned out pushing out a drawing a day lmao. The finale project is going to take a while, mostly because I decided to be stupid again and try more comic page type stuff. Oh and did I mention my ambitious ass is going to turn the messy traditional art I've done for the finale piece into good digital art? Yeah, don't expect to see the rest of this any time soon haha I have bit off way more than I can chew. 2022 goals I guess.

Anyway, I really liked doing the Inktober event, despite falling off the rails at the end there. I've always been real insecure about my art, so forcing myself to get it out there every day for a whole month is a good push of my limits. And now I know I can whip up a whole traditional drawing in like 5-7 hours if I need to, though I still prefer taking my time haha. Thanks to everyone who has left likes on my previous posts; yall are awesome.

And as always, Our Life belongs to the lovely GB Patch Games~

[snowgoldwaylon]

Whisper of Roses - Raul Menendez X Reader Chapter One

You never really expected to find the love of your life while walking the streets of Nicaragua, until you accidentally stepped on the foot of Raul Menendez.

A/N: This story is written in a universe where Black Ops never happened, and you both live a normal, CIA and crime free life. Just a couple teenagers falling hard.

You never really got involved with many people. For as long as you could remember, you were very antisocial. Socialization never came easy, so you always were known as the 'Quiet One' to most.

You had friends here and there, but you really only wanted and needed one person in particular. And he was your best friend!

His name is Arlan Davila. You met him one day on a field trip in the 3rd grade. You both had been attached to the hip ever since! He was definitely one of the real ones, and always had your back.

You were sitting in your room, getting ready for the big day! You were also singing your heart out to the radio. I Ran by A Flock of Seagulls played loud, but not as loud as you could sing.

"AND I RAN, I RAN SO FAR AWAY!" You sang, gluing a rose to your cap with a hot glue gun.

Today was the day you finally escaped school for good. Graduation!!!! You danced in your spot just a little bit, knowing it was going to be over soon.

After a rather smooth sailing high school career, you finally did it. The tassel was most definitely worth the hassel. Now all you had to do was show up, grab the goods and get out!

Of course, you being you was decorating your cap last minute. You kept putting it off and putting it off until you ran out of time. Now, you were just hours away from graduating.

Your luck, sucked. Right as you went to glue the last sunflower on, you ran out of hot glue for the glue gun. You pulled back and looked at it, pressing the trigger a few times. Surprise!

It yielded nothing. With a sigh of frustration, you turned it off, unplugged it, and sat it up right. You looked at your cap with some big, sad eyes. The cap just wouldn't look right without this stupid sunflower.

You knew you now had to walk about maybe 10 minutes down the road, to the nearest craft store and pick up glue. You quickly threw on shoes, a coat, grabbed your wallet and headed outside.

You began the 10 minute walk, sticking to the sidewalk for good measure. It was about 4 PM, only a few more hours until you went back to the school. So you know you REALLY had to make this quick, or else you were going without any hair or makeup.

You looked over at all the trees, which were slowly coming back after a long, and harsh winter. You saw how vibrant and green they began to look again. The skys were a brilliant blue, and the clouds were perfect. The breeze that was going set it all off.

After walking more, you finally made it to the store. You walked in, and a bell went off. This signaled the workers that a costumer was here. You quickly went right over to what you needed.

You grabbed a package of sticks of glue, and headed straight for the cash register. After a small, polite interaction with the kind old women working the store, you quickly left.

You walked back home. You were coming up to crossing the small bridge, and that's when your bag decided to rip. It must have already been ripped, it probably just went unnoticed.

Your package of glue sticks took you off guard. It rattled you so bad, that the initial loud 'THUMP' it make upon smacking concrete, you gasped and stumbled.

And of course, you stumbled right into a man walking in front of you. You fell straight to your butt, and had never felt more embarrassed.

The man in front of you quickly stopped, and turned. You didn't even dare to look up. Since the packaging busted on the bag ripped, you quickly scrambled for all the glue sticks while rambling an apology.

"Sir I am so sorry, I'm just in a huge hurry, I'm so stressed out and my anxiety is out of the roof. If I dirtied anything of yours, I'll pay for the cleaning fee." You went on.

The man crouched down, and began to help you. You were suprised by this kind action, and paused as he spoke.

"Oh Miss, please don't worry about it. It sounds like you are already worried, you didn't ruin or dirty anything of mine. Don't fret, here let me help you up, yes?" He spoke, sticking a hand out.

There was something about his thick accent that was just so attractive. And the way on how nice he was to you? You had never felt any more warmness and kindness from a single soul before.

You looked up, and locked eyes with the most handsome man you had ever seen. He had the most perfect and beautiful tan skin tone. His skin shimmered gracefully in the sunlight.

His hair was a brilliant black, slicked back with the finest looking grease. It wasn't oily, but it was thick, and not a single hair out of place. And finally, your ultimate weakness in a person,

His eyes. The windows to the soul, as they say. The way they sparkled and just lit up as soon as you looked at him directly, you felt your heart suddenly begin to dance as if you were on a tv show.

You both were in a shock and awe as you gazed in each other's beauty, and grace. Finally, the young man, with his hand still extended began to speak and it brought you back.

You quickly took his hand, and boy did you feel the sparks. He helped you up gently, and gave you a bag from his pocket. He securely put your glue sticks in, tied the bag and handed it to you.

"Are you alright, Miss?" He asked.

"Yes Sir, I am. Thank you for being so kind. What is your name? I'd love to get to know you." You asked with a smile.

He flashed you a dazzling smile, and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm Raul, Raul Menendez. And it's mutal. Now, who do I have the honor of speaking to?" He asked with a cool tone.

This made you blush, big time.

"I'm Y/N Y/L/N. I'm a student at Moravian High School, I actually graduate this evening. I don't think I've seen you around." You said.

Raul nodded his head, and slipped his hands into his pockets.

"Yeah, I graduated a couple years ago. But, I went to school there. And now, I think I have a reason to watching the graduation tonight, if you wouldn't mind." He said, sending you a wink.

You smiled big, and nodded.

"Yeah of course, I'll definitely make sure to talk to you afterwards. I'd love to become good friends with you." You said.

He suddenly had a small pink tent to his cheeks, and looked down. He kicked the ground slightly and looked back up.

"Of course, how about dinner on me tonight? If you don't have any wild plans?" He questioned.

"If going home and playing poker with my friends is wild, than I should be locked away!" You laughed.

He laughed with you, and looked back at you.

"Wow crazy lady! Watch out!" He joked.

"Well, I better head back. I'm working on my cap. I just need one more sunflower and it's done!" You exclaimed.

"Why don't I walk you home? Looks like I'm heading your way anyway." He said.

You nodded, and you both began walking back to your neighborhood. Maybe your luck wasn't as bad as you thought.

To Be Continued....

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 21

First time reader click here

TWs/SUMMARY: Wanda fluff, Loki fluff, we're getting a whole ass friendship! Dad sucks. The outfits are neat tho! Check the end for a mood board 😍

a/n: dress inspo and aesthetic visuals can be found here, here and here. (Paolo Sebastian, Firefly Path gowns and Viona Ielegems photography).

"Gi-i-irl..." Wanda drawled, seeing me arrive with Tony, both of us freshly showered and still hazy from the amazing orgasms. God only knew what she'd seen in both of our heads - if judging only by the vivid, crimson blush she spouted, it was definitely something very NSFW. Bruce already sat at the dinner table, quietly slurping his soup, his back and shoulders the most relaxed I'd ever seen. He gave me a knowing smile once he noticed my presence in my usual spot by his side.

The rest of the team appeared completely oblivious, preoccupied by their food.

"So, about the party. Got any costume ideas?" I cut straight to the chase, unwilling to wait for Wanda to start asking for details right in front of everyone.

Steve, Bucky, Pietro, Thor and Natasha all answered affirmative, the latter whacking Clint upside the head and firmly stating "no funny business". I couldn't help but wonder what kind of crazy shit the Bird had in mind and was kind of disappointed at Nat's intervention. A good chaotic moment was always worthwhile in my opinion!

The other bird, Sam, approached Bruce with caution as he wondered if the scientist was interested in doing a paired costume with him, only to be interrupted by Tony declaring, with childish glee, he had a "wicked project" that he and Bruce would be doing together. The scientist gave a resigned sigh and apologized.

Sam wasn't deterred by the slight setback; he approached Clint instead and after being given an okay from Natasha, the Birds decided to pair up. As they should, if you'd ask me.

"I have a costume but I need some accessories. Wanda, Lokes, join me on my lil' shopping trip?" I prompted, wanting everybody to be included. I was fully prepared for Loki to scoff and dismiss my invitation but the Asgardian nodded after a second of brief speechlessness. Didn't anyone invite him to birthday parties as a kid? Either way, Thor gave me a grateful smile, like a proper big brother. Both Asgardians had grown visibly closer during the past couple of months which made me hide a secretive smile behind a spoonful of soup.

It turned out, Loki hadn't exactly been introduced to the buzzing beehive that is NYC. He didn't get out much and when he needed to be somewhere, the man simply teleported to the desired destination. As convenient as it must've been, I still expressed my outrage at his lack of experience doing the usual "touristy" things that, in my opinion, every non-newyorker was obligated to do when visiting. Yes, even if said visitor had literally traveled across different galaxies.

Wanda wasn't much better in terms of city knowledge. According to her, she'd lived here for several years already but never bothered to go beyond the borders of the block surrounding the Avengers tower. The witch didn't have friends outside of her teammates (therapy. they all needed so much therapy. y'all...) so she simply saw no point in going anywhere beyond the local mall.

Which was trash. I mean, I loved Hot Topic and Forever 21 as much as any other young adult with depression and anxiety but it was literally impossible to wear clothes made out of cheap cotton and polyester all the time. I'm pretty sure I would have hives and ulcers if I attempted that.

"We're going on Sixth Avenue and that's final. No friend of mine will be wearing shit from Wal-Mart at a Stark party," I interrupted Wanda's defensive stuttering, using my other hand to summon an Uber.

"That is good advice," Loki, previously silent, added in a sweet tone. I counted on the fashionable Asgardian to be on my side and with his schmoozing skills, I didn't even have to drag Wanda inside the car by, like, her hair or whatever. The three of us barely fit into the small Toyota anyway.

A thought struck me when I had to consciously avoid stepping on Loki's leather shoes and keep away my elbow from Wanda's stomach. "Mister? I'll give you a hundred bucks cash if you turn around and drive to this address," I hurriedly rattled off my home address, delighting in the way the driver nearly did a U-turn at the mention of crispy dollar bills.

We arrived home quickly. Wanda gaped in mild disbelief at the size of my house while Loki looked about as interested as he'd ever be. His face was akin to an expression one made while smelling fresh manure. Opening the garage, I was greeted with an unpleasant surprise of my dad's outrageously painted Corvette standing neatly by my white Range Rover.

Loki looked and felt considerably less tense in the back of my car. The subtle signs of discomfort all but left his face replaced by slight wonder as I explained how to adjust the temperature and turn on the heated seats.

Dad met us at the gates. "You didn't come in to say hello," He pouted. His breath reeked like a five-day drinking binge hangover and he looked a dead man.

"We're in a hurry, dad. There's a lot to be done," I replied curtly, hoping to get rid of him fast. I hated being sober around my drunk father. My fingers twitched on the steering wheel.

"You're like your mother, always busy," Dad's laugh was coarse and bitter. "But at least you find time for Stark and his friends. That'll do your future real good," He clapped once on the hood of my car, heading back to the house with a wave of his hand, just in time to miss the disgusted shudder that ran through me.

I knew my dad well enough to understand the implications of what he meant by his words. In his world, fucking way up to the top was considered the norm. I'd rather cut off my own foot than use Tony that way.

"Sorry you had to see that. I thought he was still in Cali," I gritted my teeth, pulling out of the driveway.

"I'm sorry you had to experience that. I have no kind words regarding your father," Loki's look was sympathetic in the rearview mirror.

"Or your mother," Wanda added, messing with her seatbelt. Loki nodded tersely.

"Aight, aight," I sighed, set on improving the mood. "Let's not poop this party. We're getting some absolutely delicious beverages and wasting my money on outrageous pretty things. My treat."

Wanda's protests were drowned out by Motorhead and Loki's grumbling was overshadowed by Guns'n'Roses. Their resistance didn't stand a chance. Few blocks out, the witch was singing along to November Rain, heavily accented and terribly off-key, and the Asgardian watched New York city intently behind the protection of the tinted rear windows of my ride. He seemed mesmerized by the crowds and the variety of colorful shop fronts. This was the the one and only reason I eased off the gas pedal and drove the speed limit for once.

The atmosphere was, well, magical. Looking at my two companions, I discovered the familiar city anew with every question they asked, every remark they made. The desire to ask in turn about their homelands melted like the tension I was harbouring after the run-in with my father. Content and warm, I had my attention divided between Loki and Wanda juggling their wonder back-and-forth between themselves and the absolutely crazy NYC traffic.

So what if I parked in a no-parking zone just to get us the most delicious coffee in the city? Loki, the resident tea person, ordered himself something unpronounceable, something that made the barista twitch. Wanda got a sugary-sounding vanilla-white chocolate perversion. I just got a mocha, having had outgrown my adolescent desires to experiment with "how sweet can I make this coffee before I literally puke?" beverages.

With a laugh, I instructed them to pose in front of the nearest reflective surface to brag about our coffees on Instagram - this café deserved more recognition. My companions reluctantly obliged.

I wonder if the barista realized just who had bought the coffee - Loki was quite a media darling when it came to fangirls. Tony's PR team did a wonderful job on the Asgardian's redemption arc. The trickster only fueled the utter devotion his fangirls had for him by being extra nice and charming in every video I've seen. I guess you can't out-mindcontrol manners outta somebody, he was raised a prince after all.

It wasn't raining but the autumn chill seeped into the tiny spaces between my layers of clothing. I already managed to regret my fashionable dark academia inspired outfit at least twice, however the matching vibe all three of us had was positively dashing. Loki, wearing his usual onyx black and dark green. Wanda with a burgundy sweater dress and thigh high platformed boots - sweater dresses, out of all things, had no business looking this good on anybody. But she pulled it off.

"You said you've got a costume. Mind sharing what it is?" The witch said, curiously peeking into the windows of a nearby vintage boutique as we took our leisurely stroll with steaming paper cups keeping our fingers warm.

"A fairy dress. It was custom made for me last year and I actually didn't get to wear it. I need some jewelry to go with it," I explained, stopping to show a photo of the dress on my smartphone. "And some shoes, too. Let's hope the party will be held completely indoors, otherwise I'll freeze my ass off."

"Custom made?" Wanda squeaked, looking at the garment in wonder. Loki gave a vaguely approving nod.

"Yeah, there's a company that makes these fantasy dresses. You want one? What did you have in mind for your costume anyway?" I switched the topic quickly, seeing how Wanda withdrew into herself slightly. I heard from Peter she grew up poor, in the middle of a war and I didn't want to make her feel bad or anything. I wasn't good at these things...

"I thought maybe I could match with you," She replied, slowly taking a sip of her coffee.

"Sure. There are a couple of shops with really cute dresses that fit the aesthetic." Marchesa. We need a Marchesa store. And a Zuhair Murad - if there was one on this stretch of road. "What about you, Lokes? Anything in particular strike your fancy?" I asked our silent companion, frantically googling the information I needed.

"Black," He answered moodily.

"Boo, you whore," I rolled my eyes at his scoff. We had watched the Mean Girls recently and he got the reference, immediately raising a sarcastic eyebrow. "You know, you could do so much with this pale aristocratic look you've got going on. How about a medieval vampire?"

"Like Lestat? He's fucking hot," Wanda and I understood each other promptly. She jumped on the bandwagon immediately.

Combining my blunt honesty and her adorable fawning over a fictional bloodsucker, we managed to convince Loki into going on a hunt for brocaded, velvet suits and blouses with ruffles for his look. The trickster revolted at the mere suggestion of procuring some fake fangs, instead magically making them appear and showing them off in the middle of the crowded sidewalk, much to my and Wanda's delighted shrieking. He looked, I daresay, very attractive, like a porcelain figurine. Delicate but dangerous.

We arrived at the store that showcased beautiful, airy dresses of silk, chiffon and tulle. The lace was delicate and the seams invisible. I ushered Wanda into a dressing room with a shop attendant that was quietly but strictly instructed to not discuss the cost of the dresses and hide the price tags.

"I want it to be a gift. My friend here deserves no less than a magical experience," I explained quietly, winking at a bewildered Loki.

"Why did you do that?" He asked once Wanda was given a selection of several dresses in flattering colours and led into a separate dressing room.

"These dresses, they're special so they're a bit pricey. And knowing Wanda, she'll make a scene and refuse to let me buy them for her," I idly twirled my phone in my hands. "But every girl wants to be a princess and it's kinda sad she never got to be one. It's more than just a dress, it's more than feeling pretty, although it's a big part of it. She'll feel on top of the world."

Loki nodded. I'm certain he didn't understand it - being a man and all - and I wasn't sure I understood it completely, too. I never lacked pretty or expensive things, always got whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. But for a moment, I thought how it must've been for Wanda - seeing all these girls on TV, looking like pictures - and never having the chance to experience that. A concept that made me so sad, I was tempted to ask the customer service person for a glass of scotch. Being poor sounded depressing as hell.

Suddenly, Loki's cool, large hand landed on mine. "Thank you. I am certain Wanda will be the most beautiful lady at the ball."

I stared at him. Loki understood.

"Well, I... I don't know how finicky you are on gender labels for clothes, but there were a couple of blouses you might want to check out. They've got the neck ruffles and shit." My throat suddenly seized up and I had to clear it before speaking, steering away from the uncomfortably emotional moment. Thankfully, Loki wandered off without as much as a word.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie

& the promised aesthetic

[addictofsupernatural]

Spidey Senses (pt. 6)

Peter Parker x reader

Summary: Having to keep up a lie is hard for Peter when you're trying to help him.

Word Count: 3366

Chapter 1 • Chapter 5

"What do you mean finally?! This is bad. Really, really bad Ned. I shouldn't be thinking about her like that!"

"Dude, it's your feelings. You're gonna feel whatever way you do. You can't control that stuff."

"But this could ruin our friendship. I don't want that." Peter whined over the phone as he put his hand over his eyes, laying on his bed.

"Or~ maybe this could all work and you could score a girlfriend." Ned suggested, amusement laced in his voice. "I mean, I didn't want to be the first one to say this, but..."

"What?"

"Let's just put it this way. She's always had a cute heart. Over time, her heart got cuter and went straight to making her face kinda hot."

"Ned." Peter frustratedly said.

Ned gave him a goofy laugh. "You sound like your getting jealous or something."

Peter quickly sat up. "Do you think that'll happen?"

"Probably." He said nonchalantly. "All seriousness Peter, you should go for it. I always thought you two would be good together. There's just something there, trust me. And hey, you two could be the amazing spider couple. That'd be awesome."

"Spider couple." He smiled and laid back down. "You think people would make that, like, a ship name for us?"

"Dude, you could have a super girlfriend. How awesome does that sound?!"

Peter let out a chuckle. "That does sound pretty cool. Okay, thanks for the therapy session. Night Ned."

"No problem. Night." And with that Peter stayed up to think about you some more.

The next week at school went horribly. All Peter wanted to do was spend more time with you, but you kept pushing him towards Liz at gym class and in Mathletes. He felt so jealous whenever he saw you goofing off with Ned. You were a very touchy person, and every warm hug to Ned felt like Peter's arms were getting colder.

When Liz was finally busy, he went over to you and sat a little closer to you than usual. "Hey Peter." You greeted brightly. "Any progress?"

"On what?" He asked dumbly.

"Liz." You said quietly.

"Oh!" He voice cracked and cleared his throat. "Oh. Um, not really. I think I'm done for the day."

"Aw, Peter!" You rubbed his arm. "You shouldn't give up on stuff that's important to you."

He sighed, glancing at Ned's confused face. "Can't I just spend the rest of the day with you?"

You smiled and nodded, patting his cheek gently. Peter's phone buzzed and it was a text message from Ned.

Not Guy in the Chair: Why didn't you tell her how you feel?

He glanced at you working on your notes.

SM: I don't want things to be weird.

Not Guy in the Chair: The truth will set you free ��️🕊️

SM: Shhhh

You then took out left over brownies for Peter. He gladly took one as Flash came over, taking one out of the container as well. "Hey babe."

"Don't touch my stuff and never call me that." You closed your container and put it in your backpack. "What do you want Flash?"

"Just making sure you got a hot outfit for the party. Finally gonna show some skin?"

"I do have a costume. Peter was with me when I got it too. We had a lot of fun." Peter looked at you and smiled.

Flash then rolled his eyes. "Really? How could anyone ever have fun with Penis Parker?"

"Well we do." You tugged each boy at your side into a side hug. "Do you have a special trio that would do anything for you?"

He nervously scoffed. "I have more than two friends. Does every friend seem special to you when you're not popular?"

"If you called one of your friends in the middle of the night and told them to come over cause you're sad, would any of them do it?" He was silent as he looked down. "That's a special friend. Now goodbye."

"Y'know—"

"Good. Bye." You pressed, frowning.

"I—"

"Dude," MJ interrupted. "Know when you've been beat. Walk away."

He then did so, stomping away. You smiled and looked over to MJ. "Why do we not talk to each other?"

"Cause you're a loser." She said, matter-of-factly.

Though Ned and Peter have her a confused frown, your smile only widened. "What are you?"

"Friendless."

"Not anymore!" You exclaimed. The teacher then announced that the club session just ended. "We'll see you at lunch tomorrow then."

She stared at you for a moment. "...Okay, I guess. Bye." You could tell that she held back a smile as you excitedly waved at her before packing up.

You and Peter were walking home, when he asked about MJ. "I don't know." You said, shrugging. "I just feel like she's cool. My spidey senses can feel it."

"You say that about everything." He laughed.

"Because I'm always right about everything. It's a given." He chuckled again. "C'mon, don't you ever have intensified feelings about some things or people?"

He awkwardly smiled and nodded, looking away from you. "More than I should." He mumbled.

"Hm?"

"I said I should hope so."

"Well then, see? I'm right again." You grinned.

"Did your spidey senses feel that too?"

"Yup." You both chuckled.

Over the next few days MJ began to directly hang out with you and the boys, and she said that she would be going to the party as well. "I don't believe in stereotyping geeks out of parties, which is why I'm supporting you guys tomorrow." She explained with an almost unnoticeable smile.

"So generous." You teased back, Ned and Peter smiling as well. "What'll you be going as?"

"Oh, I'll be going as part of the impartial generation of today." She gave a sly smile.

"Nice, nice." You nodded contently before Flash came up to your table again. "Holy crap man, are you sure you even have friends? Why do you keep bugging me?"

"Just wanted to see what the new member of the Penis Parker group was like." He then nodded to Mj, to which she didn't respond. He then rudely waved his hand over her face. "Hello?"

She backed her face up as you smacked his hand away. "Leave her alone."

"What? This is probably the most exciting thing to happen to her. It's not like you guys have interesting lives." You and Peter looked at each other. "I'm guessing that's a no?"

"Well Peter and y/n know Spiderman and Spidergirl!" Ned blurted out.

Flash then did a breathy, wheezing laugh. "Are you kidding me? How would they know them?"

"The Stark Internship!"

"Ned, stop talking." You mumbled. Ned nodded and put his head down. "We met them a few times, so we don't really know them or anything, and even if we did were aren't supposed to talk about it."

"Well Peter," he ignored you. "If you're actually cool then why don't you invite them the the party?"

"Cause we wouldn't want to waste their time by having them go to some fanboy's party." You argued, knowing Peter would choke up if he answered.

Flash shrugged it off. "That's what I thought." He said as he left.

The next day you were talking to Linda while in your costume with your mini backpack slung over your shoulder. She was telling you about the job interview she's getting and how she's saving up the money from Tony's watch to rent an apartment in the building you live it. "I'm so happy right now Linda! You could totally be one of those super nosey neighbors, and I would pretend to be okay with it!"

"That would be a dream come true." She said as you both turned your heads to see Peter coming, also dressed up. "Just a few years older, and I would totally go for that."

You sighed. "You're such a creeper Linda."

"And you should loosen up and be more of a creeper." You gave her a look, and she only shrugged. "Just saying. Press on and go for it."

"Hey guys." Peter greeted with a smile. "Everything okay?"

"Yup!" You hopped off the steps you were sitting on. "Let's go."

"Okay. Bye Linda." Peter politely waved.

"Don't acknowledge her Peter, it makes her weirder."

"Don't be jealous that I'm more fun." She called out, smiling.

Peter chuckled and tried to put his hands in his pockets, only for his hands to slip from there being none. He didn't know what to do with his free hand that wasn't carrying the shield. He probably looked so awkward in front of you right now. This was so nerve wracking.

"Peter calm down." You suddenly said, causing him to jump a little. "It's my first party too, but we got each other. And we know Ned's gonna be there to be a dork, and Mj will be there to remind us how stupid we look. It'll be great."

He nervously laughed, scratching his head. "Yeah, I guess." He then became nervous just thinking about what would happen if you discovered this crush, especially at the party with Flash. "Y/n, what do you see in men?"

The question was unexpected, and your face felt like it was in flames. "What would you ask that?"

"Just wondering. I don't think I've ever seen you flirt with someone." He mentally sighed at the save.

"Mm, I guess he has to be nice, for starters. I'd want him to make me laugh, and care about me. I don't know, that's really it."

"Really? Only that?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing with looks, or..."

"Peter!" You lightly smacked his arm and giggled. "You know I don't care about that stuff."

"You care about your own looks." He said quietly.

"That's different though." You grinned and tugged on his wrist. "We're here. C'mon."

Ned was waiting on the steps, looking up at you two in major relief. "Guys, tell me you brought the suits."

You both nodded. "Our suits aren't party tricks." You said. "This feels way too wrong."

"Yeah, I'm with y/n. Those suits are worth way too much to use for something like this." Peter added.

"Only for a few minutes. This is our chance for Flash to stop messing with us." Ned whined.

You huffed. "Okay, but only if Flash is being extra annoying."

The three of you walked inside and saw Flash trying to be a DJ, playing some basic techno music. He saw the three of you, and brought out his mic. "Hey Penis Parker, where's your superhero friends? That's not Spiderman, that's Ned in a onesie."

People began laughing, and you pursed your lips. "I'll be right back."

You left and went behind a building, opening your backpack and quickly changing into your hero outfit. You took a deep breath, and was about to swing in when you got a call from Peter.

"Dude, tell me she's doing it." You could hear Ned say.

"I don't know, I'm gonna ask her. Y/n?"

"Yeah?" You laughed out.

"Did you really put it on?"

"Yeah. Are you gonna join me or do you just want me to do it?"

"This doesn't feel right."

"Peter doesn't know what he's saying." Ned called out in a child-like tone.

"Ned's being mean to me." Peter responded in the same tone.

You giggled. "Look guys, I don't feel great about it, but Flash needs to be knocked down a peg. It hurts to see him treat you guys like crap. This is just gonna be a one time thing, right?"

"Right." Peter confirmed.

Ned remained silent, but Peter nudged him. He huffed. "Right."

"Okay, I'll be down in a bit." You then ended the call.

"So, I've been meaning to ask," Ned said. "But why does y/n still think you like Liz? I thought you were gonna tell her yesterday."

"I didn't know how to tell her the truth! I panicked!"

"You're hopeless." Mj said as she walked up to the two boys. "What happened to y/n?"

"She went to go get Spidergirl." Ned nodded for way to long as he said this.

"Wait," She looked genuinely surprised. "So you guys, like, actually know the Spider heros?"

"What was that?" Flash asked over his mic. "Is Penis Parker actually going to bring Spiderman and Spidergirl here?"

"Actually, um, Spiderman couldn't make it." Peter said before clearing his throat awkwardly. "But Spidergirl said she'd make an appearance."

Flash obnoxiously laughes into the mic. "Can anybody believe this guy?"

You then swung in. "I do." You raised your hand playfully as everyone began cheering. "You guys were expecting me, right?"

Everyone cheered again. "Oh my God." Flash said in a high pitched manner.

You grabbed Ned by the shoulders. "It's Ned, right?" You asked over the music, loud enough for everyone to hear. "I've heard good things about you."

"All true." He showed his goofy smile.

You patted his cheek. "I bet!" You turned and walked over to Peter, giving him a big hug. He returned it, finding the hug oddly comforting considering everyone was staring. "Peter! It's been a bit, huh?"

He awkwardly chuckled. "Yeah. Thanks for coming."

"Of course! When I heard from SM that the Peter Parker finally had time for a party, I knew I had to come and see it for myself! Maybe my partner could join in next time, yeah?"

"We... Um..." He kept doing his little pant–laugh thing that he does when he doesn't know what to say. "Yeah."

You moved over to look at Mj. "You go by Mj, right?" She nodded. "Y/n tells me you're super opinionated and awesome."

She smiled and shrugged, tucking back some hair. "I just kinda say whatever comes to mind. I don't really think before I talk sometimes."

You tapped her chin. "I love it. Never change." You then clapped your hands. "Now! Where's Flash Thompson?"

Everyone pointed to Flash, who quickly turned down the music. You swung to him quickly and caused him to back up into a small table, awkwardly steadying it. "H... Hi."

"Hi Flash. I wanted to let you know that me and Spiderman keep tabs on our friends, to make sure they're okay. We're pretty protective, y'know?"

"Yeah, yeah. I totally get that." He kept awkwardly nodding.

You nodded and patted his cheek. "I knew you would, so I need you to keep an eye on Peter and Ned while me and SM can't. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, yes I can. I could do anything for you."

"Thank you Flash." You patted his arm, to which he looked at his arm in amazement. "Amazing. Okay, I gotta go. But remember, I keep tabs on your school, so I'll be watching!"

You then walked around for a bit taking pictures and talked to some people. You suddenly felt goosebumps all over and excused yourself, flying out and looking around. You saw a small blue explosion in the distance and quickly texted Peter.

He came as soon as he could and you explained the situation. Unbeknownst to the two of you, Mj noticed Peter leave quickly after you did. She also noticed that you weren't in sight while Spidergirl was here.

"Okay, okay. I, I need to change!" He then quickly took off his shirt and started unbuckling his pants, looking up to you dumbly staring at him. "Uh..."

"Sorry!" You quickly turned around and look off your mini backpack, plopping it down next to yourself. It had Peter's suit folded inside. "That was partially not my fault. You gotta warn somebody before you start stripping next time."

"Next time?" He asked teasingly. "You say it like you want it to happen again."

Truth be told, neither of you knew where this new found confidence of Peter came from to tease you like that. It was almost like he was flirting. You liked it though; it was as if he was becoming more confident and mature with himself.

Your face was hot as you grinned at the ground. "Well, you gotta pay for whatever expensive college you're gonna get into somehow. And I'll come visit at the strip club to support my best friend."

He hugged you with one arm from behind. "So supportive. Maybe the reason I'm a stripper is to support the both of us."

You chuckled and rubbed his arm. "My hero."

He turned you around and handed you your backpack. "This is a cool backpack, by the way. I like the mini things of Thor."

"Thank you." You said, awkwardly taking the backpack. "Now let's go."

Neither of you could get some webbing to hold onto any tree in the area, so instead you both ran across a whole field, looking kind of comical. By the time you two got there this one man was showing another some high tech weapons. You were getting closer to listen in, and it sounded like the guy wasn't interested in what the others were trying to sell.

"Why you trying to upsell me man?"

The other two guys didn't like this, and were slowly getting angrier. You tried to get closer, but Peter's phone went off from Ned calling him. You both hid as Peter fumbled to end the call, and the two merchants assumed the buyer was setting them up because of the noice. In an instant there were two guns pointed at the buyer.

"Woah, woah!" You yelled as you and Peter came out, hands up. "C'mon guys, I promise he wasn't turning his back on you two. And I'm a good guy; good guys don't lie."

"Really, if you guys are gonna shoot at anybody, shoot at me." Peter said with seriousness. "I'm the real threat."

The two guys looked at each other and pointed their guns at the both of you. "Okay."

You both dodged their shots and flung their guns away with your webs. You tried to shoot at the wheels of the car but the man with an electric glove shot at you, causing you to fling back. You noticed that the buyer hesitated to go and help you, but decided not to and instead hopped in his car and drove away.

When you got up they were getting in the car so you and Peter shot a web to the door. The door broke off, but Peter shot another web to the car to have you two ride the door.

"Hey, I got a really stupid idea!" You yelled out as the guy in the back of the van was reaching for a gun.

"Go for it!" The van hit a sharp turn, and you took this as chance to let go of the door and leap to a tree, using your strength to push and dive head first into the van.

"Woah, I did it!" The shocker guy tried to punch you with his electric glove, but you dodged it. "Someone's bitter!"

You began to go on a defensive position and dodge his contact hits and fires in the narrow van, until Peter shot a web at him that pinned one of his hands to the side of the van. He used the other hand to shoot at Peter, blasting him into a backyard.

"I'm okay!" You heard him yell out from a distance.

You slammed the shocker guy to the ground and pinned his hands and feet to the ground. You stood and shot web to cover his mouth as well. "That was a pretty rude thing to do, but I guess two v one isn't fair. Then again, you're are a bad guy."

You remembered that you had your backpack on this whole time, and took it off to hug it.

"Mh. Once again, Thor backpack comes in clutch. Odinson, you can me do no wrong." You opened your backpack and put some small weapons in it, zipping it up and putting it back on. You looked outside before turning around to talk to the man pinned on the ground. "I wonder where Spiderman went. It's all good though, I'll stop the car—"

You were cut off by something grabbing you and yanking you back. You yelped as you were whipped into this huge lake. The water hit you painfully and you began to see spots, seeing a flash of a man with mechanical wings. You almost didn't feel something bring you up.

"Thanks ma..." You looked up and winced. What was carrying you was the Iron Man suit. "Uh oh."

"I have some words for you two."

---

Tag List:

@flawlessapollo6 @them-cute-boys @lunawndrlnd @the-greatt-perhaps @babebenhardy @sofisofi1602 @smilexcaptainx @herondalism @coni-martina @youvebeenlizzed @melanisticroyalty

[colestis]

It’s Just A Kiss . . . Right? Part 1

when tj and cyrus make up and become a couple under the moonlight at the swing set, what happens when tj invites him to his christmas family gathering they find themselves under the mistletoe?

pretend costume day happened around christmas time.

Tj’s Mother's POV

"Hey, Mom . . . can we talk?" Tj's voice rings through the kitchen as I'm getting dinner ready. Tj hasn't been open with me lately, so I will take any opportunity to have a conversation with him that would let him crack his shell.

It used to be bad. A year ago I didn't even know who he was. He just seemed like a person that lived with us, a frown always ghosting his face. Whenever I would ask about school, he would automatically shut down while saying okay with a fake smile.

He would never talk about friends. He would never talk about sports. We would never talk about academics. He would just stand there.

He was like a ticking time bomb, about the explode at any moment. He was always angry at himself, but I never knew why.

But it was halfway through 7th grade, and I started to see him smile. I saw him laugh and not struggle as much with academics and be happy. I never knew that side of him at the time and It made me so happy to see his breath.

He was always holding his breath, never breathing. But now he was happy.

Until one day he ran into the house crying, and ran upstairs, the slam of his bedroom door shaking our small house. I had never seen him so sad before then.

And that's how he was ever since, and It breaks my heart. Why would someone so happy get so . . . shattered?

I still remember his bad jokes, or his laugh, or his smile that seemed to take him over around one of his new friends Cyrus.

Wait.

One of his new friends Cyrus.

"What's up?" From experience, I know what to do in these situations learning from a combination of Tj and Amber.

"I've needed to tell you something. I've actually put this off for a while and that's r-really bad." He seemed to be shaking, a tear rolling down one of his cheeks. He looks so scared. I know not to say anything right now, so I look at him with sympathetic eyes.

"You know my friend um . . . Cyrus right?" He asks, a sad smile sneaking its way onto his face. I would know that look from anywhere, but I didn't pay attention to it. The thought didn't cross my mind.

"Yeah. Isn't he the short brunette, one you bring over a lot?" I ask to make sure I was correct, knowing I already was. I'll never forget how happy he was around him, and the happiness seemed to be reciprocated.

"Something happened between us and" he pauses to take a deep breath "it's all my fault. Everything that happened." I've never seen him so . . .

I can't find out the word.

Ashamed?

I let him continue talking, knowing that's what he wants before he chickens out and starts talking about something else.

"Remember costume day and how Cyrus and I were supposed to go as a duo? We were doing an inside joke." He asks, shuffling on the stool he was sitting on at the counter. I nod, not knowing where this could go.

"Tj your scaring me." And it's true. All of it is true. Something clearly horrible happened between them, and all I want is to be normal with them friends again.

But people who were just friends wouldn't get heartbroken by something like this. It sounded like such a simple problem that did so much damage it could harm someone like Tj and Cyrus so bad — even if it's just a miscommunication.

"I'm scaring me too. I've never done this before." And that confirms one of my theories. He's opening up like never before. He hasn't cried in front of me since he was 10 and that itself was making me sad and happy at the same time. I had to hold back tears.

He sighs before explaining again. "Well, before we planned it, I was talking to this girl Kira I had just met before we ran into Cyrus. Of course, it was Cyrus! I was happy to see him and I completely ditched Kira to spend time with him." There's a certain aggressiveness with his words like he's angry at himself for doing something.

"We planned our costume, and after I spend like two to three hours with him we split. After a while, I ran into Kira again."

"We go to the same school and she asked me if we wanted to do a costume related to basketball or something, and I said I'm doing one with Cyrus. And then she was like 'So you'd rather do a costume with Cyrus then with me'" He paused again, by this time to collect his thoughts.

Was she implying something?

Something that somehow offended Tj?

He finished my thought with an answer. "She implied something about us — or a statement. People always say that duo costumes are couples' costumes." He can't even say it and that makes me feel horrible. I would be stupid to not know where this conversation is going at this point, and I'm the first person to know.

"I'm scaring me too, I haven't done this before."

"She was basically implying 'so you would rather do a costume with a boy then a girl.' And she wasn't wrong. I would to my costume with Cyrus over the lame T-shirts I did with Kira any day. And I was so close — so freaking close — to actually accepting this part of me. But it was all gone at that moment. I just sat on that bench while she walked away."

I know what's coming up next. He liked him. He clearly liked him a lot of he's crying about it. And the sad thing is that it wasn't even his fault. Internalized homophobia is an issue, and It sounds like that's something he has.

"Later that night I was just so afraid of being judged I called her and we did the costume together. I never texted Cyrus saying that I bailed, so he showed up in his. I haven't seen him since" I want to say something. I want to talk to him.

"Tj do you like Cyrus?" he looks up, and I see tears rushing down his cheeks, his hands on his head as he slowly shook his head with a sad smile.

"I think I might love him." If it was a year ago, I don't think he would be capable of loving someone. But he got so happy after meeting him I would think anything is possible. And if that means making them makeup, I would believe and do anything.

And I don't hesitate to pull him into a hug, hug arms squeezing me so hard I might choke. But I don't care because I want to help him.

I need to help him.

Tj's POV

47 messages. 23 calls. 17 voice messages. That's how many times I've called, texted, and left a voicemail. He hasn't looked at any of them, and that makes my heart ache for anything that would give me happiness.

Sure, coming out to my Mom made that easier, but she knows no boundaries. I know she's going to try and do something to help. But before I do anything about that, I want to go outside before I get kicked out of my home to 'feel cold, look at a bird'.

But it seems to be everyone's favorite time of year. It's December 23, and all I feel is heartbreak. Or whatever this is called. My first time going through this shit.

My point is that everyone's life is lit up with color right now. December Christmas lights on every porch, snow dusting everyone's front lawns, and children excited to do anything with their family, even if it's going to the bank.

But my life is in monotone. The color is blocked out, and I can't see anything happily lit up or children's cheery smiles. My world is sad while theirs is happy.

My world is black and while theirs is lit and cheery.

I'm wearing black ripped jeans and a pink hoodie with some black converse, hoping that works as an outfit. I ever wear coats in the winter. Sure, my mom yells at me about it, but I don't care.

I hear my mom yelling about a coat from another room, and I smirk to myself. My mother and I have always been close considering that my father got put in jail after abusing us, so we've been able to share anything with each other.

That's probably why coming out to her was so easy.

But how do I tell Cyrus? How do I tell my family who is most conservative? My boss at the gym? The kids at the gym? Where do I even start?

I find myself walking towards the swings, where it all started. Sitting down on the left swing, I find myself sitting there for a while. There's one moment I play on a loop in my head though, there's one moment that happened right here. When I realized I like him.

"You can be annoying, you know that?"

"Well you can be oblivious"

"Well you can be judgy"

"You know what else you are?"

"What."

"The only person I can talk to like this."

Why didn't I just kiss him then when our faces were so close and I could count every microscopic freckle on his face? Why did I not just get the heartbreak out of the way?

I can remember everything though, and I won't stop thinking about it anytime soon. Cyrus is the most important person to me, and even if it causes me heartbreak to see him walking in the halls, I'll have to deal with that.

But something else echos in my head. Many things.

"You still haven't apologized"

"Why didn't you call?"

"What did you do?"

"What did you do?"

"What did you—

I just wish I could apologize, but I don't get that luxury. People always push people away when they are in my position, but I only have that moment on loop in my head playing over and over like your favorite song on repeat, making me want to see him even more.

I just want everything to stop.

Please, make it stop.

Let me feel nothing.

Let me feel nothing.

And at this point I'm crying, my request not being followed. Thanks for nothing, universe.

• • •

It was now around 10:00, and I didn't mind that I was probably going to get grounded. Streetlights illuminated the streets of Shadyside as Tj was still sitting on a swing, not knowing what exactly to do.

But I see a figure in the distance walking towards me though, and I start to gather my things hoping they won't see my red puffy eyes and ask me what's wrong.

The figure comes closer towards me though, and I can start to make out who they are. They have brown hair and are wearing a polo with a coat and navy blue jeans with white converse.

Wait.

Cyrus wears polos and jeans, had those same converse, and has brown hair.

As he gets closer, I see that his hair looks like a mess, he isn't smiling like usual, his posture low instead of facing up, and his eyes are red. It makes me upset to think that I could have done this much damage to both of us.

I really need to apologize, to talk to him, to see him smile again, to see him laugh again, to be friends with him again.

But then he stops in his tracks and stares at me, and I stare back. The world comes to its senses, and Cyrus starts to walk towards me. It's like we're to magnets, and the spark between us is bringing us together.

I don't remember who hugs who first, but I feel his arms wrap around my neck, his warm breath on my shoulder as my heartbeat beats in sync with his as I feel his against his chest. I guess I make his heartbeat fast too.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Cyrus says, his voice muffled. He buries his face deeper into my shoulder, and somehow gets closer to me. A tear rolls down my cheek, and I think he might be crying too. I can't tell.

"Hey, you didn't do anything. I should be the one who's apologizing. I bailed on costume day, and it wasn't the right thing to do in the situation I was in." I say rubbing circles on his back.

"I was curious about that." He mummers into my shoulder. "But you don't have to tell me about it." He adds. I trust him enough to though. I'm ready.

"No, I want to tell you why. I just want you to promise to not tell anyone, and that you promise not to hate me." Cyrus was raised in a religious family, and he might not accept me.

"Tj I could never hate you." He says, lifting his head from my shoulder, looking into each other's eyes. His deep chocolate eyes never fail to take me in, and I have to pull myself out to not get lost.

"I um . . . I never wanted to do the costume with Kira. I never would. It's just . . . when I told her I was doing a costume with you, she said something — implied something that really affected me. And it wasn't that I didn't want to get made fun of, o-or didn't approve of it it's just—"

"Hey, it's okay. Take deep breaths, okay?" Cyrus was easier by four therapists, so it's easy for him to calm someone down. He would always say 'those are my four shrink parents' and I would find it funny every time.

"She said 'so you would rather do a costume with Cyrus than me?' And she was basically implying I would rather do a costume with a boy than a girl. But I got so triggered by it because it's true. All of it was true." At this point, I didn't care if we didn't have a fairytale ending. I'm so caught up in confessing that I didn't notice Cyrus leaning forward.

But it gets so hard to look someone in the eye and confess something so personal. Sometimes you just shut down. Sometimes you just burst into tears. And that's what I did. My heartbeat wouldn't go back to normal, Cyrus was still standing there though, waiting for me to finish, being patient.

I could never do that.

"Hey, I get it. And I would never judge you for it. In fact, I would be a hypocrite if I did. I know what you're going through right now, and it's okay. You are still you." I can't believe I ever thought that I didn't think he wouldn't understand. But with my fingers still on his chin, and me still staring into my eyes, I feel myself leaning forward.

And then he's kissing me, and I'm kissing him, and I don't know who kissed who first, but that doesn't matter to me. He tilts his head to kiss me deeper and moves his arms around my neck, and I move mine around his waist. It feels like the world is on its knees before us, and everything around us is fading away like we're the only thing that matters.

I don't remember when I thought I was straight.