#i've never actually thought about what he looks like under the helmet so i just borrowed muzzleroar's human disguise design and did my best

[cherubytes]

commiting blasphemy by making gabriel in the sims 4 (i've given him a face)

[miniimight]

can you write one where mikey tries so hard to hide your relationship but he lets you into toman without you really being all that strong (he just wanted you around) and some members try to hit on you and he teaches them a lesson?

I LOVE YOUR WORK BTW!!!! OMG

HIDDEN RELATIONSHIP ! but some new toman members make it not-so-hidden

with mikey + fem!reader

warnings unwelcome attraction, they corner you and try to force you into a date, a guy puts his hands on you against your will

notes i love this request !! :D i think i went overboard tho lol

mikey was the epitome of attention as the leader of the growing toman. he really couldn't help the fact that emma was known as his sister, but he desperately tried to keep the fact that you were his girlfriend under wraps. couldn't have dumb kids trying to use you against him or get you caught up in gang wars.

every time he dropped you home, you slid off his bike and handed him his spare helmet (more like his only helmet, cuz he didn't wear one).

"bye, mikey." you hummed. "pick me up tomorrow?"

you didn't even have to ask. "yeah." he leaned back in his seat, one hand resting on the bike handle while the other was held in front of you, palm towards the dusky sky.

you slipped your hand into his and he squeezed it, lingering as if he were contemplating something. you waited patiently.

he was so tempted to pull you back into his arms. who cares about the toman meeting when it meant a few more minutes with you?

he sighed and gave in, pulling you closer to the bike bashfully. he looked shy to ask. he'd never spent much time with you after school as he usually ran with his friends. but this time... he just wanted you close.

"ride with me?" he mumbled. "...again?"

you tilted your head slightly. "but... i thought you were gonna hang out with your friends?"

he tugged you forward, forcing a little yelp out of you as you fell into his shoulder. he hugged you tightly, his voice muffled against your chest.

"we never get to hang out for long..." he said. just this once, and no one will notice. maybe he could introduce you to his close friends this time? "it'll be okay. trust me."

you smiled and climbed on again, clasping the helmet buckle under your chin. "okay."

his bike roared to life, zooming down the streets.

[]

he parked his bike nearby, but far away enough so that it'd look like he walked to the meeting spot. your eyes drank the sight of the crowd down there. you knew who mikey was and what he was involved in, but never actually saw it for yourself.

he pouted. "why do you look so surprised?"

you chuckled. "aw, don't pout. i know you're a hotshot, mikey, but seeing all your guys is a different thing."

"not all of them are my guys." mikey whipped out his phone. "anyways, i want you to meet my sister."

you blinked, whipping your head to face him. he already had the phone to his ear. "now?!"

mikey grinned mischievously. "hey emma? i've got someone here, come to where all the bikes are parked."

after a few minutes, his sister came running up with a groan. "what do you want mikey—oh!" emma's jaw dropped. "a girl?!" she pointed an accusatory finger at mikey. "explain yourself!"

mikey smirked proudly and pulled you closer, his arm strung around your shoulders. "a girlfriend."

"girlfr—?!" emma paced in a frustrated circle. "and you didn't tell me?!"

"yeah, cuz it's supposed to be a secret!" mikey retorted, huffing. "and i know you'd just tell ken-chin or something."

emma gaped at the two of you for a moment. you waved meekly, squeaking a "hi, emma. i'm y/n."

she rushed towards you, clutching your hands in hers. "tell. me. everything."

mikey smiled despite his front of annoyance, ruffling both your heads as he walked by. "come on."

as mikey walked, gang members scurried away to make ample room for their president and the two that flanked him: his sister and who they assumed was her guest. he soon reached the platform where all the captains gathered. his crew looked more curious than confused at your presence.

"oi, emma," draken narrowed his eyes at the blonde, the first to pipe up. "you can't just bring whoever you want to these things."

emma opened her mouth to retort, but mikey nudged her side. that was enough to make her revise what she was going to say. "whatever."

you, on the other hand, were confused, thrown into a whole new environment that you knew nothing about. seeing all these violence-prone tough guys made you feel so small and weak.

mikey observed you as your eyes nervously darted across the crowd of toman. he leaned towards you to whisper while his friends were occupied by a chatty emma, his hair brushing against your ear. "just stay where i can see you and you can see me."

"so, at the front?" you gave him a skeptical look.

"wherever you want, i just wanna see your face." he smiled, eyes closed. heat rose to your face as you cast your gaze elsewhere. dork.

you and mikey were pulled from your own little world when emma huffed and puffed at draken.

"ugh, this is boring anyway!" emma turned on her heels. "come on, y/n!"

"oh! okay..." you blinked and gave mikey a parting glance.

the boys watched the two of you race down the steps.

draken scoffed, standing at mikey's side. "why was that girl looking at you like that?"

mikey smiled to himself, his heart thrumming happily. "dunno. might be in love with me or something."

they all laughed at him. yeah, as if!

"emma, slow down—!" you grunted as you wove through all the boys gathered, ignoring their smirking or curious faces as you desperately tried to keep her flowy blond hair in your sight. but it was dark and the black uniforms didn't help one bit.

you paused, looking around.

you lost her. you cursed and just focused on making your way to the back, being alone around all these weird teenagers didn't sit well with you.

"hey."

the firm grip around your wrist sent chills down your spine. you tugged once in a hopes to slither away but with no luck.

"what're ya doing here?"

you turned to see a group of guys surrounding you. your heart dropped into your stomach. your eyes drifted upwards. you couldn't see over their heads; you couldn't see mikey.

"oh, just hanging out with a friend..." you answered. "i'm gonna go now..."

"hold on, you think we buy that?" the one doing all the talking scoffed. "you're a girl here at a gang meeting, what 'friend' are you visiting, huh?!"

you flinched at the tone, unable to find the words.

"wanna know what i think?" he bent down to look you in the eye. "think you're just looking for attention. what, need a boyfriend, sweetheart?"

you hurriedly shook your hands, staring at them with panic. "no! no, i have one! i have a boyfriend." you hoped that would deter them, you desperately hoped they would leave you alone. your head swiveled around. some were taking amusement in the interaction, others were turning a blind eye.

"really?" he asked.

you found yourself glaring at him, despite the uneven match. "yeah."

the boy paused and surveyed you, his nasty gaze raking over you. his lips curled into a smirk. "ha! why should i believe you?"

you resolve crumbled. you whimpered at the failed attempt to get the fuck out of here which did nothing for your case.

"aw, sad you got found out?" he grinned down at you, shoving his hands in his pockets. "it's okay, we can go somewhere together after this, how about that?"

you scoffed, crossing your arms. "i said i have a boyfriend." who, for all the class he lacked, had way more class than this piece of shit.

that seemed to anger the boy. "quit lyin, we know you ain't got shit."

mikey, please just notice me. you begged silently, hoping for some miracle that'd get you out of this situation.

"did you hear me?" the boy hissed, grabbing your wrists. you gasped and glared at him, pulling against him with all your might. "quit—" he grunted. "cut that out!"

you felt cornered and tears pooled in your eyes. your heart felt almost cold as you let your impulses take over, screaming, "let go!"

mikey was eagerly listening as his captains addressed the gang, but his mind was still looking for you in the crowd. he searched for minutes and still couldn't find anything.

he wilted. was he just a bad boyfriend? not being able to recognize his girl in a crowd?

then he heard murmuring, hushed whispers, before he heard your voice.

"let go!"

his face scrunched and he rose to his feet. let go? who had their hands on you?

he marched to the front of the platform, scanning the crowd with newfound intensity. draken seemed to notice and did the work for him.

"oi!" draken's voice made the gang fall silent. even the guy who acted big froze in front of you. "why the fuck do you have your back turned to your leader when he's addressing you?"

mikey saw a couple boys distance themselves from the commotion, where he saw. anger flared into his body and he itched to beat someone to death.

you were looking at him, completely distraught.

he flew down the stairs, shoving past the members towards you. hatred radiated off him in waves as his eyes never left the sight in front of him. someone—his gang members—were fucking disrespecting you. he felt embarrassed and enraged.

the boy who had pressured you immediately let go. you stumbled backwards before looking at mikey. even now, you didn't know if you should run to him in front of everyone.

your doubts were squashed when he opened his arms. you inhaled deeply. your breath shook as you blinked the tears from your eyes, speedwalking towards him. the silence was killing you. what a reveal, you thought. you didn't care though, just happy to be in mikey's arms.

mikey hugged you tightly, pulling back to observe you for any damage. he ghosted his fingers over your wrists. "did they hurt you?"

you gulped at the menacing edge to his voice. you shook your head. he gave your wrists a soothing squeeze.

the aggressors' eyes flickered between you and their leader.

you smiled sweetly and pointed at mikey, mouthing boyfriend!

they paled.

you grinned. get fucked.

"do you know what you just did?" mikey asked, shrugging off his coat and putting it around your shoulders. he walked past you.

"h-hey... i didn't know—" the guy scrambled backwards, his voice dripping with desperation.

"who cares?" mikey's eyes were cloudy. "even if she weren't mine, are you trying to make toman look bad? if you're gonna be pathetic, do it somewhere else."

the guy took that as a cue to leave, quickly turning around.

"who said you could leave?"

you blinked and he was on the ground, mikey's foot landing gracefully.

"huh?" you mumbled. before you could even process it, he was standing over the other bystanders, holding them by their shirt as he landed punch after punch.

when they were all piles of bones on the floor he stood up, dusting his pants and slipping his hands in his pockets. "you're not welcome in toman. you better not let your faces be seen around here any more or i'll bash your head in."

you pulled the wings of mikey's coat closer to your body. despite the violence, you felt... warm and soothed by mikey's actions.

draken dismissed the meeting and the gang practically ran out of there, eager to get out of mikey's area of impact. the founding members and emma remained.

mitsuya looked sheepish when he asked, "i guess she really was in love with you, huh?"

mikey turned his nose in the air. "of course. why would i lie about that?"

pah scoffed. "do you even know yourself?"

you inched closer to mikey, unsure of your place here. he held you by your waist, reassuring you. your racing heart slowed down, little by little.

"hey." surprisingly, draken looked a little embarrassed, probably because he treated you like some rando when you were mikey's girlfriend. "you... we're not like that brat, okay?"

"yeah, what a disgrace!" pah interrupted, huffing.

"you don't have to be afraid." draken continued, glaring at pah. "just like mikey, we'll look out for you."

you smiled, coming out of mikey's side just a little. "thank you. i'm y/n, by the way."

mitsuya groaned. "oh, now it all makes sense." you voiced a confused hum and he elaborated, telling you that mikey would always go on and on about you. his friends thought you were just a crush of his, and since they'd never saw you they honestly thought you were a figment of his hormonal imagination.

your cheeks burned. "oh... no, i'm totally real."

emma peeked out from behind draken. her eyes were glossy and she sniffed, toddling towards you. "y/nnnn!" she wailed, hugging you. "i'm so sorry!"

you pat her back. "emma, it's not your fault! oh my god. please don't cry!" you looked at mikey for help but he just smiled. that smile faded when he realized that his friends and sister were slowly pushing him outside their little circle, wanting to know everything.

"okay, get off." mikey's demeanor changed in an instant. he slipped in under draken's arm and grabbed your hand, tugging you behind him.

"hey, no fair!" emma exclaimed, running after her brother. "you had her for who knows how long but i can't even get to talk to her for five minutes?!"

mikey sped up, laughing. "she's my girlfriend, not yours!"

"mikey!"

his bright laughter brought a smile to your face. he mounted his bike and made sure you were secure before revving off into the distance, his friends hot on his tail.

you gripped mikey's torso, nuzzling into his back. "thank you."

"don't thank me." mikey replied, quiet. "should've never happened in the first place."

your cheek rested on his shoulder blade, staring at him. his hair cascaded just enough to obscure his eyes from view. "i'm glad i have a strong boyfriend to protect me." you giggled.

his chest puffed with pride. "i am pretty strong."

you rolled your eyes.

"but it's not just us anymore." he turned his head to meet your eyes. "you have a new family, now. and they're all gonna look out for you."

your jaw hurt from how hard you smiled. your heart fluttered. resting your head on his back again, you squeezed him tight.

[]

the peaceful drive soon turned into a competition when the toman captains tried to race mikey down, determined for answers. emma, who rode on draken's bike, was especially vicious.

© miniimight ! thanks for reading <3

[halflifebutawesome]

BEHOLD! FOR THE SECOND TIME, THE GBVRAI LINEUP! now with another weird old dude!

waves my hands around vaguely I wanted to make a nicer looking lineup and more coherent post actually explaining the au. I've now made 2 gbvrai lineups but never a plain old hlvrai lineup. Whatever.

There's a complete AU explanation and individual character profiles (?) under the cut! check it out! ASK ME ABOUT IT !!! SMILES!!!!!

The basic gist of this au is that the science team, are a group of ghost hunting paranormal researchers. The Ghostbusters. You mightve heard of them. This isn't a 1 for 1 au where certain characters take the role of others, it's more just. What if the science team existed in the Ghostbusters universe. They're just the Ghostbusters now.

On a particularly odd case, they bust a ghost that seems... off. It's sentient, it's talking back, and it's psychokinetic energy is off the charts.

Thinking nothing of it, they return to the firehouse and prep the trap for containment disposal. Gordon's the new guy, so he's the unlucky dude who's been assigned the job of disposing of the traps. All the while the ghost will NOT shut up. It's weirdly powerful and seems mostly unbothered. It's name is Benry, and he's a little freak.

the ghost containment unit has been unstable for a while, overfilled with ghosts, but they have to dispose of Benry somehow, so they go ahead with it.

In this AU I'm kind of combining the Resonance Cascade with the Manhattan Crossrip (the Manhattan crossrip is the big scary ghost event that happens at the end of GB1). Basically what happens is that Benrys weirdly powerful ghostly energy, combined with an unstable ghost containment unit, tears a big rip in the fabric between the ghost realm and ours, letting all sorts of ghouls and specters free.

Imagine the Resonance Cascade, with all the aliens getting out and ravaging Black Mesa, but it's a bunch of ghosts getting out and ravaging New York. Gordon and the rest of the team have to fight their way through the ghost filled streets of NYC, and close the crossrip.

Heres some closeups and more individual info/thoughts for the gang!!

GORDON FREEMAN! The new guy. Again, this is less a direct 1 for 1 swap au kind of deal, and more just putting these guys in situations. Gordon's HEV suit, tho, I wanna talk about.

In Ghostbusters canon, they DO have a weird fucked up hazard suit. It first appears in the TRGB episode "Xmas Marks The Spot", where Egon uses it to travel into the ghost realm. I know it makes another appearance in the comics, in a way that's more HEV-esque, but I never finished the comics so idk. It's real tho.

I imagine here that the ghost containment unit is more like the reactor in half life, where it's hazardous to be around for too long, probably bcos of like. I don't know. Concentrated psychokinetic energy. Sure. In any case he needs to wear the HEV to use the containment unit.

My design here is taking the chest piece, helmet, gloves and belts and modifying them to look a little more HEV-esque.

Bennyyyy. Benrey benry beny. He's a ghost, as far as they can tell. It would be more appropriate to call him an entity of sorts.

He's not a ghost simply for the fact that he wasn't ever human. He wasn't ever a living person that died. He's some pure, really powerful, concentrate entity/being that leaked through from the ghost realm. He looks like. A guy, for the most part, but he's a mimic. Something pretending to be human. He's been around for a while, and has settled into this form. He's mostly corporeal, but can phase in and out as he pleases (noclipping) Switching from corporeal/incorporeal when it's funny.

He met Tommy when they were both a lot younger, Benry being fresh out of the ghost realm, and have been bestfriends ever since. ☝️ my au my weirdly specific tommybenny dynamic. Dw about it

TOMMY & SUNKIST!!!! Tommy has grown up around ghosts his whole life, and is pretty in-tune with them. This is proven with his bond to Sunkist, who's decidedly not a real dog, and his longtime friendship with Benry.

I gave him the goggles cos. Tommy's my fave and Ray's my fave and I think they're fun. Also cos if it WAS a 1 to 1 swap I would def have Tommy as Ray. Anyway. He's been a part of the Ghostbusters since he was little, like I said he grew up with them and around them. He's really knowledgeable about ghost types and physics. He knows all the ghost rules.

Sunkist isn't like. His dead childhood dog cos that seems. Kind of sad. Instead she's kind of a church Grimm or hell hound. An entity taking the form of a big huge dog that Tommy befriended when he was a kid, and has now kind of bonded to him. She's pretty corporeal as far as ghosts go, and can interact w the physical environment pretty well.

DARNOLD ^^ my friend darnold. Darnolds not usually super involved in the actual ghostbusting, and prefers to stay behind. He's more of the research and tech kind of guy, he studies the readings and takes measurements.

He's interested in psychokinetic energy and ghost residue and all sorts of like. Ghost sciences. Why some people stay behind, why some people just seem to die and disappear, the properties of the ghost realm and the ghosts themselves. Corporeality and degradation of personhood the longer someone's been a ghost.

When the Resonance Crossrip happens, he opts to stay behind and observe the effects of the insane amounts of ghost energy on the corporeal world.

Hes also a transfer over from the ghost engineers! That's a fun thing for me. I love the ghost engineers idc frozen empire gave me everything I wanted

FORZEN. Forzen is... the same thing as Benry. A mimic, something taking the form of a normal ghost to blend in or hide in plain sight.

He came through with the Resonance Crossrip, but obviously like. He knew Benry before (we WERE bestfriends..). He's not as powerful, which is why he wasn't able to sneak through when Benry did. He's also not super corporeal. He can only interact with the physical world if he's exerting a LOT of energy. Prone to flickering in and out of vision.

Upon coming thru the Crossrip, he kind of just. Decided to hang around the firehouse. Didn't wanna go much further, for fear of being ghostbusted and sent back into the containment unit. The source is the last place they'd look for him!

Darnold, who's holed up in the firehouse, is more than delighted to meet a ghost who's sentient and willing to cooperate to do some tests and experimentation to get never before documented results. They bond and they're cutesit. ☝️ DARZEN WIN. hi splash 👋

Dr Coomer and Dr Bubby are two of the three original founders of the Ghostbusters! They've been around for a looooong time. They're also married obviously but that's like a given.

They helped found the Ghostbusters, having met in college while both were studying parapsychology. I imagine their like. Parapsychology -> Ghostbusters pipeline was very in line with how GB1 starts, where they used to work in an academic environment before getting kicked out and founding the GB.

They're also both. Psychic. Because frozen empire has once again given me everything. Coomers got some like. Idk something that lines up with his self awareness in HLVRAI, maybe prophecy? Vauge visions of the future? Bubby has pyrokinesis. Duh.

and... Mr. Coolatta..... Tommy's dad...he was one of the founders along w Coomer and Bubby and at some point he. Died. And is now a reeeally really powerful ghost. maybe from the exposure to ghost energy or smth?

Now hes got gman powers and just kinda hangs around. Pretty corporeal and solid and. Present. For lack of a better word. But he IS a dead guy. Used to be human.

This is why Tommy kind of grew up around ghosts and knows alot about them :) Mr Coolatta is pretty benevolent, and mostly just kind of spooky and fucked up.

And that's. About it? I believe?? PLEAAASE ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS I have so many thoughts. I've been working on this for like 2 months now. Lol.

[sanguineterrain]

I am FERAL over your knight Jason thought. FERAL!!! Okay check this out: so Jason's ignoring reader because he feels guilty right? Maybe he tried to give them back but the king wouldn't allow it. But maybe the reader misunderstands and thinks they're not doing their "duties" so they make dinner and breakfast and wash his clothes and basically act like a perfect spouse. How would Jason react? 👀

Dear god... I feel another series coming on...

Idkidk, their dynamic is just really interesting to me! it's probably gonna be a bit of a slow burn here. Feel free to send more thoughts about them. I am rotating these two like a rotisserie chicken in my brain.

knight!jason todd x gn!reader. ambiguous time period but just assume it's olden times *gestures vaguely*. tw arranged marriage/forced relationship but it's complicated! jason is full of angst and self-loathing but he's a sweetie as per usual. original post for context.

****

The soldier—Jason—has said four words since you've arrived.

The first was "here," which he said whilst handing you a mug of milk. He didn't look at you as he said it, and that morning, he left for a five-day long station. You only know that because he said, after handing you the milk, "I've been stationed."

You realized it was five days when you heard his horse galloping towards the house... five days later.

You haven't initiated conversation because though you're a commoner, and no one ever had much hope for you to become anything but an old spinster, you know not to challenge knights.

But this is fucking ridiculous.

"Do you like veal?" you ask on your fourteenth day here.

Jason is about to leave, his boots half laced. He freezes at your question and looks up.

You stand tall, chin up. This is a normal question. A question a wife would ask her husband, except you're not a wife, and you're pretty sure this soldier isn't a husband either.

"I like veal," he says carefully, slowly. "Would you like me to fetch some from the market?"

Now, this is where it gets tricky. When the king summoned you, he made it clear that you were expected to care for Jason under his rules. You don't know how to navigate this world. You know what couples in your village do, but you don't know what's expected of you here.

"Actually, I..." Jason looks at you. His eyes are very green. He has a surprisingly sweet face under his helmet. "Actually, I was wondering if I could go. On my own."

"Oh."

You brace yourself for arguing or yelling. True, he hasn't raised his voice once, but he also hasn't said much at all. It's like living with a ghost.

"Yes, of course. Of course you can go." He fishes out a pouch of coins and gives them to you. You take it slowly, waiting for him to realize his mistake. He doesn't.

"Thank you," you say.

He nods and watches you walk.

"Wait."

You stop. Here it comes.

"There's a cargo ship in port today. The guards rotate at noon."

He leaves before you can form a thought. You hold the coins, watching blankly as the door shuts behind him. His horse whinnies, and then he's gone.

The market isn't far from the cottage. It's fantastic to be outside again. No one's noticed your absence, clearly, but that's alright. You've never expected more.

You buy a good cut of veal and potatoes and carrots and apples. Jason gave you more money than any cut of meat would cost, so surely he assumed you would buy other food. Why else would he give you so much?

A ship's horn drones in the distance. You're feeling some oranges when you remember his words. A cargo ship.

The sun is almost at its highest point.

"Oi! Either buy 'em or stop feelin' 'em!" the seller snaps.

You roll your eyes and move on from the orange stand. You can see the horizon of where the sky meets the sea from here. Any moment, the guards will change, and the ship will be...

You stop. Was Jason hinting at your escape?

No, he couldn't have been! That's preposterous. Why would he want you gone? The king took you for a reason.

And where would you go anyway? Once you leave, you'd be a criminal forever. You couldn't make a home on your own. And who knows what could happen in between? Pirates, enemy soldiers, anybody could snatch you up.

This must've been a test. A test to see if you would run. That's why he agreed to you going so easily.

No, your escape can't be planned now. Not when you're so obviously uncomfortable, and Jason knows it.

You ignore the ship and go home with your purchases. You spend the rest of the afternoon preparing veal stew. You warm leftover bread over the fire and set a pot of butter on the table.

Jason comes in louder than he has before, humming quietly. You perk up at the sound, happy for the lack of silence.

You set a bowl of stew at his chair and wait by the fire. As soon as he enters the kitchen, the humming stops.

"Welcome home," you say, wringing your hands. "I made supper."

Jason glances at the table, then back at you.

"You came back," he says.

"Why wouldn't I?" you ask, face neutral as you cut the bread into chunks.

"That—did the ship come?"

"Yes."

Jason sits. His face is dirty from training.

"I bought more than veal," you say, and hand him the pouch. "I hope that's alright. We—there were no more potatoes."

He takes the pouch, rubbing the string tied around the top. "You went to the marketplace... and came back."

It's not a question, but it sounds like there might be one behind it.

"Certainly," you say. "I'm loyal to you, Jason. I serve you."

He looks up, blinking rapidly. Then he looks back at his stew.

Oh, right. He's waiting for you to ask permission to sit.

"May I join you?" you ask.

Jason flinches. "You don't... you don't have to ask. I would never stop you from eating."

The words hang in the air. It's like neither one of you can speak right.

You watch him, and he watches you as you serve yourself and sit on the opposite side of the table. Jason takes the first bite, and you eat right after.

"Is the supper satisfactory? Have I done well?" you ask.

Jason stops chewing and sets his spoon down. You're struck by his shift in demeanor. You worry for a moment you've screwed up something as dim-wittingly simple as stew.

His eyes are sad as they fall on you. It's akin to grief, the pain he wears, but you don't know why he's grieving. You silently offer him more bread, pushing it toward him. He takes it.

"Yes," he says quietly and eats another spoonful. "You did. Thank you for supper."

Jason cleans his bowl three times. You have no stew leftover, which pleases you.

But as soon as Jason finishes eating, he gets up, rinses his bowl, and wordlessly leaves.

You don't see him for the rest of the night.

Somehow, you feel lonelier than when you weren't speaking.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ♕ This is gaudy as shit and I don't care. Idk. There may be inconsistencies with the story, so, sorry. I've been working on this all day. 8 pages on Google Docs so you're in for a read. Good stuff starts at page 3 (mind you, this is from Google Docs perspective.) I read, reread, rereread, rerereread, rererereread .... until I couldn't. This is a little headcanon-y and a little fic-y. It's just what I was feeling. I know you know what to do if there's anything horribly wrong. For real, though. This is so fucking long I never want to see my laptop again.

C/W ♕ Unprotected P->V, F->M & M->F Oral, M->eating his cum (sorta) from F, kinda rough sex but they like it. I'm so brain dead right now that I can't remember everything. Soft broken Hanma eventually. I like you, no shit? I like you too. Kiss kiss. Snooze snooze. Happy happy.

Funsies ♕ A link of the playlist I made while I was writing this in case anyone wants to check it out. I don't think the read will exhaust the playlist so pick any song you want and it should, theoretically work at any point?

WC ♕ 3,915 (ISH - I change things once I get it here on Tumblr, but it's around that.

♕ You'll never forget the first time you rode on the back of Hanma's bike with him.

♕ He wasn't really keen on the idea of taking you home. You weren't even his responsibility.

♕ But it was a favor for one of his captains.

♕ Hanma put his helmet on you, tightening the strap under your chin carefully so he wouldn't pinch your delicate skin.

♕ He was so pissed when he noticed how pretty your eyes were, staring so intently back into his. He had to shake himself out of the distraction.

♕ "You're not wearing a helmet, Shuji?" You asked.

♕ "This's the only one I have, obviously. And you're going to wear it, got it?" He was so adamant about that.

♕ He got you settled in the helmet and threw his leg over his bike. Looking at you impatiently, waiting for you to get on, he put his hand out and you took it.

♕ You hopped on behind him and wrapped your arms around his straight waistline. And you're not sure if your heart skipped a beat because you were so nervous about being on the back of a motorcycle with him for the first time or if it was how you felt with your cheek pressed to his back

♕ He also noticed how nice your arms felt wrapped around him. He turned his head before he took off and told you you'd better hold on tighter, he doesn't drive like a 30 year old.

♕ Hanma thought he turned his head enough from your line of vision before he smiled. But you saw it.

♕ So you did what he asked and squeezed him tighter, pressing your chest harder against his back.

♕ He started the engine and the vibrations sent shockwaves throughout your cunt body like you've never experienced.

♕ Both you and Hanma thought it wasn't possible for you to get any closer to him, but you both somehow managed to impress the other.

♕ He was at a stoplight about 3 blocks from your house and he reached back to give your thigh a little pat.

♕ "Hold on to me, hana. I'm gonna go like hell when I see that light turn green."

♕ His hand stayed on your thigh even after he took off. Stayed there for so long, actually, that you were getting concerned about the upcoming turn in the road. But he pulled his hand forward just in time to take it with ease.

♕ The wind against your face that carried his scent - which you could NOT place, (Sandlewood? Cedar? It was DELICIOUS to say the least) was starting to make you feel drunk.

♕ You could just barely hear the music playing through the small (but strangely loud) speakers --- Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away), Deftones. You had heard the song before and liked it but now it held a certain heaviness over you. Everything about this moment felt right. The night was warm. The stars were out.

♕ How the fuck had you not realized this before?

♕ Hanma is ... he's fucking sexy.

♕ He pulled up to your place and he stopped the bike, letting it idle while sitting in your driveway.

♕ "Ok, you have arrived at your destination. You're welcome, for the ride of your life." He seemed a little more lighthearted now than when he first was roped into taking you home.

♕ "Yeah. Yeah, thanks. Um, thanks. Do you - maybe ... want some ..." you just couldn't fucking talk. He looked so handsome in the soft yellow lights that lined the street.

♕ "You got some food? I could eat, yeah." He kicked the bike stand out and turned it off and reached up to remove his helmet from your head.

♕ If he missed the blush that washed over your face he'd have to be a blind man. But you noticed a faint smile on him, too. So you think he caught it.

♕ "What do you feel like? I just went shopping and I'm fully stocked." You stood with your back to him, he was in the living room looking around at the shit you had all over your walls. Weird art that made him feel things. Stuff he's never thought himself capable of feeling - not bad things, either. But new things.

♕ And you felt comfortable with all of this. Knowing he was in another room than you. Except, he wasn't in the living room anymore. He was right fucking behind you. You stopped to look up into the cupboard you stood in front of to see what was there, if it was easy and quick to fix up.

♕ He reached out and traced the curve of your waist and leaned in, putting his face to the back of your head. "You going to feed me, y/n?"

♕ Your first thought was who's going to perform CPR on your right now because you're about to die. His breath was so hot on the back of your neck you were able to document the time that your heart actually stopped beating for a second.

♕ Hanma put his hands on your shoulders and ran them down your arms. When he got to your wrists, he pulled them behind your back more roughly than you've ever been touched by any man before.

♕ And he's so much taller than you, so he has to bend over so he can talk right into your ear.

♕ "I'm sure it's ready for me to eat right now. Not much prep is going to be required. I guess, in a way, you could almost call it fast food?" He yanked you so you were standing up straight and your back was flush with his front.

♕ You didn't know what to do with your hands so you just left them where he placed them. He had his free hand back on your waist, squeezing and exploring.

♕ "I don't think I've ever wanted something so bad as I do right now, hana." He said, letting his fingers dip lower and lower. You threw your head back and it fit into the dip between his neck and shoulder.

♕ You couldn't help but think he was such a fucking gentleman, waiting for your permission before he took anything. You leaned back against his chest and turned your head to kiss him. "Then take ... take it. Take what you want, Shuji. Take it all."

♕ Hanma's hand went back up to your throat and squeezed just enough to make you gasp.

♕ He leaned around and pressed his mouth to the corners of your lips, teasing you into giving yourself fully over to the kiss and sliding his tongue down your jawline to your neck. Ending up at your ear once more.

♕ "Good girl, hana. You're so wet for me right now, I can fucking smell it. Tell me what you want me to take. Hm? You want me to take you? You're going to be so good for me. Or maybe not? Maybe you're just going to be a nasty ... little ... bitch. I think I'd like to see that. This sweet girl act you put on. I've seen you walking around like you're just the best thing around here. Well? You going to prove that to me, hana? Huh?" He said, his voice dropping an octave as he ran his hand down your stomach and dipped his fingers into your panties.

♕ He moaned into your ear, "Oh fuck, hana. You're dripping for me. I'm going to fucking ruin you."

♕ He turned you around more roughly than he had to and hoisted you onto the counter, yanking your pants down and kneeling down before you, inhaling your scent. Deeply.

♕ Hanma looked up at you with such fire in his eyes, you couldn't help but feel a little intimidated. He traced his finger over your pussy, feeling your wetness before leaning forward and dragging his tongue over the same invisible line his finger forged on your trembling skin.

♕ You arched your back and gasped as he brushed his lips against your thighs. You could feel how heavy his breathing had gotten. He pushed one finger passed your folds, then two, and you could feel yourself tightening around him.

♕ "Shu, f-fuck. Please, I need ... I need ..."

♕ He looked up at you with his eyebrows raised. "What do you need, hana. Use your words."

♕ You reached down and grabbed him by the ears, pulling him up to your face. "I ... fuck me, Shuji." You kissed him, tasting yourself on him.

♕ Hanma didn't waste a second. He pulled you off the counter and dragged you into your bedroom. You turned around and yanked at his belt buckle, pulling it from the loops all at once and threw it across the room, unzipping his pants and pulling them down.

♕ He leaned you over the bed, spreading your legs and reaching up to squeeze your ass. You looked back at him, wanting him to fill you up.

♕ Hanma rubbed his tip up and down your slit, teasing you. "Shuji just ... just fuck me."

♕ You were so whiny and needy. It was making him so hard. He wanted to fuck you right then and there. To give you what you were so desperately and metaphorically, on your knees for.

♕ But the sadist in him, found it hard to acknowledge your pleas so soon. He didn't want you to work for this, per se. But he wanted to make good and damn sure you wanted him as much as he wanted you. So what if he had to deny himself instant gratification. The look on your sweet, flushed face was already worth having to drag this out.

♕ "You've been so good for me, hana. I'm going to give you exactly what you need. But I don't want you to come too soon." He said, smirking as he pulled you back to your feet and turned you around, pressing his hands into your shoulders until you were on your knees.

♕ Hanma reached down and pulled his cock out of his boxers and he patted your chin a few times. Urging your mouth to open so he could slap it on your tongue before pushing his tip into your mouth. You let him guide you as you took him down your throat. He kept his eyes on you, watching as you struggled to take him all the way in.

♕ "Fuck, y/n. Look at you. Taking me like a good little slut. I knew you were going to act like a little bitch in heat. Choking down my cock like that." He praised you through gritted teeth. Despite sounding so volatile, it made you feel so good to be used by him this way.

♕ He pulled out of your mouth and pushed you back onto the bed, flipping you over onto your stomach. He pulled your hips up and guided his tip into you, slowly pushing himself in until he was all the way inside you.

♕ Hanma held himself there for a minute, feeling you tighten around him. He started moving again, in and out of you.

♕ You felt like you were on the edge of an orgasm with every thrust. The disgusting way he used you for his own pleasure and the way he spoke to you was driving you mad.

♕ "Shuji, fuck ... I'm gonna cum."

♕ He pulled out and turned you onto your back. He spread your legs apart and leaned over you, pushing himself back inside you and pressing his lips to yours.

♕ "Yeah? How close? How close are you?" He dragged his teeth over your ear and on down to your visibly beating pulse point and left a purple mark in his wake. You clenched up around his cock so hard when he did this that he had to stop moving and pull himself together. "Fuck! Hana! Keep that shit up and this is over. I'm fucking finished."

♕ He thrust into you harder, his balls slapping against your ass wasn't helping you hold off cumming all over him. You felt your orgasm building up inside you. You reached down to rub your clit, but he saw where your fingers were aiming and he brushed your hand aside and started rubbing soft circles on it for you. It made you moan - the most whorish, slutty sound you have ever let out.

♕ It was out of your control at this point. His dick pounding inside of you, hitting all the right spots at all the right times was making you more cock-drunk than you have ever felt. If you could even consider yourself aware of anything other than his golden eyes burning holes into yours and the rise and fall of his hips against your spread legs.

♕ Your cunt swallowed his cock so perfectly. The thought crossed your mind that you were made for each other. But that's ridiculous. Hanma hates you. Right? He didn't even want to take you home. So why, then, is he balls deep inside of you right now. Don't fucking ask, you thought to yourself. Doing any and every little thing you could to stave off your imminent crash.

♕ He could see your eyes start to roll back and he knew what was happening. He pressed his thumb harder against your clit and started circling it faster.

♕ "Cum for me, hana. Show me how much you wanted this, how much you wanted my cock inside of you." He sucked on your nipple as he fucked you. Balancing over you on his left hand, his right hand still trifling with your pulsing clit. You tried to buck up against him for any extra stimulation but he only pulled back. "Aht! I make you cum. You ... you let me. Understand, hana? I ... make ... you ... cum." He growled through his clenched jaw directly into your ear. Punctuating each word with driving his hips harder and harder against you.

♕ You couldn't hold it in anymore. You came so hard and you didn't even care that he was watching you so closely. You let your body relax and gave in to the moment. You'd pretty much checked out mentally, but whatever connection remained between your brain and your body was otherworldly. You felt his cock sliding in and out of your soaked cunt. It was so thick and long. Nothing like you imagined it would be by just looking at his tall, thin frame. (But aren't those guys always the wildcard?) It was all you could focus on.

♕ Hanma was ready to cum, too. He pulled out of you and turned you over onto your stomach again. He slapped his wet cock against your ass before pushing back into your pussy, making you moan into the sheets.

♕ You were still twitching against him. As close as he was to blowing his sticky load of cum inside of you, as hard as his cock was twitching, he was so transfixed by how you felt around him. So fucking hot. So fucking soft. So fucking beautiful. Like a goddamn flower. Your pussy made him think of the most beautiful flower and nothing would ever change his mind about that. (And he would never figure out why - but he wondered if it had to do with the weird art in your living room).

♕ "Fuck, hana. Fuck!Fuck!Fuck! You want me to cum inside this pussy? Want me to cum in my pussy, huh? Yeah? Fuck, cumming so fuck- hard, holy shit. Fuck!" Hanma came with such force, you could feel his cum pouring into you. And soon after, seeping out of you from around his cock still inside of your stretched hole. He collapsed on top of you, both of you breathing heavily. He didn't want to move, not yet.

♕ And he felt like it should bother him that he was still here with you. Still, physically, a part of you, as much as you were a part of him. But he couldn't think of a single reason why he should leave. Let alone why he'd want to leave.

♕ "Shu, you ... I ... well," you tried to speak but couldn't form a coherent thought just yet. "Um," it was useless. You couldn't think. So you just laid there underneath him. Feeling more and more empty with each passing second as the sadness of this being over filled you instead feeling full from Hanma. It was not a good placeholder for him. It was not feeling nearly as good as he did. And you felt like crying.

♕ Whether because it was just too much for you or it was just nothing to him. What if it were both? Shit. You're starting to cry.

♕ He felt you tremble underneath him and he rolled off of you, turning you over to face him.

♕ "Hey, what's wrong? Hana? Look at me, now. Did I hurt you? Did I do something?" He looked more concerned that irritated. And that's probably what surprised you the most. You tried to hide your face, but he grabbed your chin and pulled you back.

♕ "No, it's ... it's nothing. I just ... it was too much. You were too good." You said, laughing hard through the tears, wholly embarrassed by your generous assessment.

♕ "Oh, what now?" Hanma smiled and kissed you on the forehead. He reached down and grabbed your hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing it. "You say I was too good? Were you even here? I mean ... I guess it's impossible for you to feel yourself. But, I guess ... I guess I'm only as good as who I'm with? And, hana," he cupped your face in his rough, slightly grease stained and scarred hand, "you were good, too."

♕ You laughed again, shaking your head. "Don't ... don't be nice to me. I can't handle it. And that's not even ... you don't have to say that to me. I know you don't like me. You can't fucking stand me. I knew all of this when I asked your captain to make you give me a ride. How embarrassing is that. I fucking am so pathetic sometimes." You rubbed your eyes with the heel of your palm. "God. You can go. You don't have to stay. It's alright. I'm ... I'll be ... fine. I always am."

♕ Hanma sat up on his elbow, looking down at you with his brow furrowed. "Hana. I can't believe you're this stupid." He rubbed the back of his neck and looked out into the hallway.

♕ "Shuji! Who the fuck is Hana? And why do you keep calling me that? My name is-" great, now you look sad and insane.

♕ "Chill, crazy. Hana means blossom. And I think, ffffuck. Ithinkyou'reprettylikeaflowerplusyourpussyispretty." His words ran together but you heard every single separate syllable. You're pretty sure you fell in love with him a little bit, too. The fucker.

♕ He leaned over you again, pressing his lips to yours. You moaned against his mouth and reached to grab his cock, but he stopped you. "No. I wanna make you feel good. It's your turn." He kissed your neck and made his way down to your pussy, licking up his own cum that had dripped out of you. You bucked your hips up into his face, reaching down to grab a fistful of his hair.

♕ He looked up at you with wide eyes, smirking. "Hold on, hana. I got you." He sucked your clit between his lips, pressing his tongue against it and making you cry out in pleasure. He pushed two fingers into your pussy and started pumping them in and out of you, hitting your g-spot while he circled your clit with the tip of his tongue.

♕ "Fuck, Shu! Fuck me!" You screamed.

♕ He looked up at you with his eyelids still heavy. "That's what I'm trying to do, baby." He said, chuckling. "Just this time, it's with my mouth. Ok? So sit back and enjoy the ride." He leaned back down and continued sucking and licking and pumping you until you couldn't hold on anymore. You came for him, all over his face. And he didn't seem to mind one bit.

♕ He crawled up to you and laid beside you again. You looked over at him and smiled. "You're such an asshole. But I kind of like you."

♕ He leaned over and kissed you, letting you taste yourself on him. Again. "No shit? I've liked you for a while. But I ... hell, I don't know. I guess I thought you were too good for me or something." He put his head against your chest, subconsciously counting the heartbeats coming from your body. "That's usually what people tell me. The guys and stuff. They always give me shit about anyone I like. Except ... except for you. They respect you."

♕ You nodded slowly, spacing out on the chunk of blond hair above his forehead. "Yeah, it helps having a cousin who's a captain. But Shuji, I do. I really do like you. I just wanted you to know that."

♕ Hanma looked up at you with a softness in his eyes you had never seen before. "I know, hana. I know." He kissed you again, pulling the sheet over both of you. He didn't want you to see him get worked up. Not over you. Not emotionally. Not just yet. But he was pretty sure he was starting to fall in love with you. And that was just something he wasn't prepared for. Though he'd have to face up to it. Sooner, rather than later, he thought.

♕ He turned over onto his back and let you snuggle up next to him, throwing your arm over his chest. He closed his eyes, thinking about how much he'd like to do this again. Just like this. Just you.

♕ You reached over and turned off the lamp, laying your head against his chest and simply being in the darkened room with him. It was so easy, you thought. And you hoped it would always be that way, though you knew better than to believe that. Because Hanma was a very complicated man on the outside and inside. And you wanted to be the one who could be there to understand him. The one who could get to know him. The one who could make him laugh and cry and feel any and everything he ever wanted to feel. You wanted to be the one who'd be there to listen to anything he had to say. Softly spoken or screamed out.

♕ And that's all you wanted. To be there for him. And with him. And with him.

♕ "Good night, little hana." He said, pulling you tighter against him.

♕ "Good night, beautiful Shuji." You smiled in the darkness and drifted off to sleep.

♕ And you didn't care how much you'd regret saying it or how much you'd try to deny it. It was true. You were in love with him. And you knew it would be some time before he could admit he felt the same way. But you would give him whatever amount of time he needed.

♕ He hoped he would be worth it. Hanma wasn't necessarily a good man. He has never been called a good man. Never has he ever really felt like one.

♕ But he heard you talking to him in the morning before you got out of bed to fix the coffee. Telling him how you'd be there for him as best you could. No matter what.

♕ He thought to himself that he hoped he'd never disappoint you. No matter what.

Taglist ::: @katkitkats @darkstarlight82 @arlerts-angel @viburnt @kazutora-kurokawa

[freebooter4ever]

ok i've been taking a break for the past half hour and doing research on the pens locker room, trying to figure out how i wanted to design my own version of geno's 'stall' (is that what it's called?). i love the circular shape it feels very king arthur

first, there isn't a lot of internet documented history on the various eras of the locker room design??? which seems sad

don't get me wrong the latest iteration is pretty epic but as far is i can tell, it hasn't changed much since at least 2013? i do not envy whoever is cleaning this place. thats a lot of sweat over the years.

second, im enjoying seeing little details that i had no idea existed, being a new fan and all. like the puck wins count???? crazy. these guys have a visual representation of how they're doing in the season right up there on the wall glaring judgmentally at them? im so glad im not in sports. i would not survive.

especially when the HISTORY of these pucks is on the walls.....like damn. talk about pressure. anyway 2011-2012 thats one of geno's best seasons right? :)

this is what I wanted. mesh, hooks, I need to figure out how i want to make this look cool.

i find it really funny and endearing that the thing these guys do to relax in down time is a playful version of their own job....

also im not sure about this like:

are they assigned a razor??? you get traded to the penguins and suddenly you're not allowed to use your fancy expensive specialized razor? is this a normal thing in hockey????? do they have group shaves for special events like the playoffs? hockey players are fascinating.

i dont know why but i never considered that the pens have actual lockers in addition to the little seats in the main locker room. this makes total sense. i dont know where i thought their clothes and stuff went. just disappeared into the ether i guess.

anyway definitely a necessity, the hot tub. it looks a little sad and lonely in this photo. it needs a hockey player in it.

racks and racks of gear???? again this makes total sense but never occurred to me. also maybe helps explain why geno likes to switch up gloves, look at all them, damn. i do wonder about helmets still - geno's looks so unique and he's been using the same design since at least 2009.

ok im guessing this is an away locker room and i have only one question: do they bring a little 'logo' carpet to roll out every time they go on the road? thats amazing.

if you read all that, nice! here's a shot of geno with his jock out:

very important locker room research. bonus the earliest pens locker room photo of geno i could find:

shy beautiful boy ^_^ (also he looks so young and vulnerable its hard to believe that even back in 2008/2009 he already had so much responsibility with so many grown adults making demands on his entire career)(like he went through all that AND is still playing in the league with three cups under his belt? thats fucking awesome)

[truly-neutral-art]

Din/Luke Pacific Rim AU pt.4

Pt.1 | Pt.2 | Pt.3

Posting part four of this for a slightly late Star Wars day post. (It's technically still May 4th for me).

I had a lot of fun designing/drawing their drivesuits. I've always been a fan of drawing armor, so this was definitely my comfort zone.

More sneak peeks for this WIP fic under the cut, for funzies. And may the 4th be with you!

Din rolls his shoulders in his drivesuit as he makes his way through the shatterdome. After all these years he thought it might be odd to get back into the suit, but it's like he never left. It's almost uncanny how natural it feels to put on the old polycarbonate armor.

After the confrontation between Marshal Skywalker and Luke, Din isn't sure what to expect as he makes his way to the Crest's conn-pod. It was clear Luke was the best candidate, even ignoring their drift compatibility, he was the only other person who had experience in an actual Jaeger. It made no sense for the Marshal to keep Luke grounded from a strategical standpoint, so it must be personal.

It didn't take a genius to realize that the relationship between the Marshal and his son was strained. Din didn't have the first clue as to why, but despite it, he understood where the Marshal was coming from. Even with everything on the line, he's not sure he could ever willingly put his son's life on the line. Thinking about it, Din is surprised that the Marshal even let Luke pilot for as long as he did. If Grogu grew up wanting to be a pilot, if the war lasted that long, Din isn't sure he'd be able to handle it.

But the way Luke and him fought. His skin was still electric from the way they met strike for strike. Din can't imagine piloting with anyone else after that. He isn't sure he'll even be compatible enough with any of the other candidates. Then what? Will he just go home? Watch from the sidelines as they make a run for the breech? He isn't sure what's worse, being unsuccessful here and watching his slow death on the TV, or being unsuccessful at the breech. Either way he'll die knowing he failed, failed the world, failed his son. He can't let that happen. So he'll just have to succeed. And the only way to do that is with Luke.

Din had just made up his mind when he approached the scaffolding that would lead him to the Crest's conn-pod. He was about to turn around and find the Marshal when a familiar figure walked towards him.

"Luke..?" Din trailed off. Luke was wearing a shiny black drivesuit and a sunny smile.

"Looks like I won that bet after all." Luke jogs over to Din's side, giving him a friendly punch on the arm before making his way to the ladder.

Din stays frozen for a long moment, unsure of what to make of the situation. He just stares as Luke begins to climb the ladder up to the conn-pod, helmet under his arm. Halfway up Luke pauses and turns towards him, meeting his gaze.

"You coming or not, partner?" Luke asks with a smile bordering on mischievous.

Din can't but help but return a small smile before jogging to catch up to Luke.

~~~

Just a cute little moment before reliving ✨trauma✨ in the drift!

[fw00shy]

Accio is the only spell I know

part 2 of Slow Days, Bad Habits because I wanted to know what happened next

When Draco took someone home in LA, there was no cobblestone path, no chirpy doormat to prime guests as they walked up to his door. Instead, they entered through the garage and walked past the shelves of ancestral junk straight into his living room, where he forgot to clean up the takeaway from last night. It felt a bit like exposing all his guts to a stranger, and Draco blushed, plucking a fortune cookie wrapper from the carpet while Harry was distracted by a set of photographs hung up on the wall.

"You were so young in these," Harry said. He pointed to the one in the middle. "This is from first year, yeah? When you had your hair slicked back like a helmet."

"I'll never forgive Mother for that haircut," Draco said. He peered over Harry's shoulder and shivered with disgust. He wished he'd never been that boy.

"Oh come on," Harry turned, grinning. "It wasn't so bad. I thought it looked rather fetching, actually."

Draco raised a brow. "Really?"

"Really — well, I'd never met someone so blond in my life before. The perpetual sneer, however —"

"Let's not talk about the past," Draco said. He crossed the living room to the kitchen, his fingers drumming over the wine rack. "Cabernet? Pinot? Or, I've got a chard in the ice box —"

"Any will do," Harry said. He'd followed him into the kitchen and pulled out a chair from the little table in there.

"Oh," Draco said, watching Harry sit down at the scratched up table. Harry's skin looked sallow under the harsh lighting. Draco had thought they'd be in the living room — he hadn't thought — if he had known, he'd bought better lighting for the kitchen. He hadn't thought this through at all, this was a mistake, truly —

"Is everything alright?" Harry asked.

"Sure," Draco said. "Sure, let me just pop the cork—" he took out his wand — "Accio!" 

The wand flew across the room and hit Harry between the eyes. Draco watched with horror as the spot welted up and reddened an increasingly concerning shade of crimson.

"If you were trying to kill me —" Harry started, rather churlishly. 

"I wasn't!"

"— you missed. Again." Then he laughed and Accio'd the wine to himself, where he drank it straight out of the bottle.

"That's disgusting," Draco said, but he took the bottle and swigged when Harry offered it back. 

"It's lonely in LA," Harry said. He sighed, sinking into the chair. "I've been here four years and nobody knows who I am, which is great for the most part, but then there are moments when I feel — I feel like a part of me's gone missing. Like I look in the mirror and I can't remember who I used to be." He looked over at Draco. "I'm not like you." He smiled. "I change wherever I go. You haven't changed at all."

Draco tensed. "Let's not talk about —"

"The past, I know, I know," Harry said. "Say, you go to that farmer's market a lot?"

"Every week," Draco said.

"Even when it's raining?"

"It never rains here. That's the best part about LA. Sunshine every day whether you're up for it or not."

"And you like the sun?"

Draco wrinkled his nose. "Not really, no."

"You really haven't changed," Harry chuckled.

Draco frowned. "I don't know why you keep saying that."

"Saying what?"

"Saying that I haven't changed. That's — I don't like that. I've changed. I'm not Draco Malfoy anymore—"

"You've changed your name?"

"What? No. You know what I mean. I'm not the same boy who — who was a bully and a snob —"

"Still a bit of a snob. Not that I mind." He raised the bottle. "Snobs serve great wine."

"Are you even listening to me, Potter?"

Harry tipped back in his chair and grinned. "You really haven't changed a bit."

"Look here, Potter, I'm trying to apologise and —"

"Apology accepted," Harry said.

Draco blinked. "What?"

"Besides," Harry continued. "I think you've got my words all mixed up. Which, again — typical Malfoy behaviour. What I mean is you're still the same inside. You've changed your mind but not yourself. Even if you believe different things now — better things, in my opinion — you're still a posh git."

Relief spread warm across Draco's chest. "So you don't hate me?" 

"No, on the contrary. Being here's the first time I've felt at home in a long time. And you've still got that —" He blushed, looking away.

"Got what?"

" — nevermind."

"Tell me."

"No, I —" Harry's blush deepened. "It's a secret."

"I can keep a secret," Draco said. He lowered his voice. "Whisper it in my ear."

"Okay," Harry said. He leaned forward, cupping Draco's ear with his hand, his breath hot. "You've still got that cute dimple in your cheek."

Draco sat up, his hands flying to his burning cheeks. "Merlin!" he squeaked. Then he asked, maybe a little too eagerly, "Really?"

"You're so funny," Harry said. "Really."

"I've got a secret too," Draco said. 

"Whisper it to me," Harry said, offering up his ear.

"Okay," Draco said. He scooched their chairs closer, his hand on Harry's thigh as he leaned in and said, "You haven't changed either. You still drive me insane."

Harry's eyes squinted in confusion. "So does that mean—"

Draco kissed him on the nose. Then he pressed their mouths together, his hands on Harry's waist.

"I never know what you mean," Harry said, breaking away with a ragged breath. "At least, not at first."

Draco closed his eyes and breathed against Harry's neck. He thought about what Harry said, about how he'd changed his mind but not himself. Why had he spent so many years denying who he used to be? That Draco who made those mistakes was the same Draco who learned from them. One could not exist without the other. Was that so bad?

"But do you know what I mean now?" Draco asked.

"Yes," Harry said. "Do you?"

"Yes," Draco said. Harry's arms came up around Draco. Draco sighed, pulling him in closer.  And in that moment, he finally felt like himself again.

[fatuismooches]

I've been lurking around your blog for a while now [and was too afraid to send in an ask HAHA-] but I've got this teensy brainrot? That I wanna share oop

So y'know, Capitano's all big and strong. Our lovely soldier. I can't help but think maybe one day his helmet gets destroyed in a fight [however miraculous that may be]. So he just comes home to us, avoiding us entirely. Why? He's scared. He doesn't think his face would be satisfactory to us, or anyone, for that matter. So he's hiding.

But imagine assuring him that it's okay. We love him, face with scars and all ndbksnf I love strong men who's whipped for their S/O 😔☝

♡, 🌼

Certified Capitano simp™

ANOTHER CAPITANO SIMP?? WELCOME 🌼 ANON!!

And omfg yes, that's literally sooo cute🥺 For fluff reasons we'll ignore the circumstances of the helmet broken but😌 I imagine he has to find a way to cover his face since he doesn't want his soldiers seeing him like that either, so maybe he has like a cloth covering his face. He's getting looks from the soldiers since they're so accustomed to the helmet and the darkness behind it but that's the least of his worries right now. How are you going to react? Will you be scared? Frightened? Angry? Shun him? All of those are things he's experienced before.

You know there's a problem when Capitano doesn't enter through the front door of the mansion. He always does, and you're always there to greet him. Instead, you see him going through a side entrance from a window... and hm? He's not wearing his helmet? And that's when it clicks. He doesn't want you to see him without his helmet. You've come to realize it's not just a physical piece of equipment, but rather something he wears for his own mental sake around you. No matter how many times you've reassured him you'd love him all the same, no matter what's under the piece of metal, he simply patted your head and thanked you.

Of course, you were going to intercept him. He shouldn't be scared of what you'd think! And so you hurried to literally the other side of the house, which was actually quite a run. (The house is freaking huge and Capitano walks a mile with one footstep.) But you were too late. He had already entered your shared room with the door locked.

You gently knocked on the door and called his name. There was no response and you sighed, pressing your weight against the frame as you called his real name this time. At this point, he'd probably found another spare helmet to put on, but you couldn't leave.

You knew he was in there, you called, and you saw him. All you wanted was for him to feel comfortable around you, to be able to forget about his duties for a bit around you. And while you're aware of the reservations of his face around you, you want him to be able to trust him with it. That you'd never stop loving him regardless. And then the door opened a creak, and you took the opportunity with no hesitation. You rushed into the room and that's when you saw him <3.

You didn't care what anyone thought. Capitano was so beautiful to you. He seemed to take your silence negatively and began to pull away, but you quickly yanked him back and kisses him with all the love you could muster. And again. And again, which Capitano greatly enjoyed. You could always tell by the slight curve of his lips.

After, you couldn't help but bury your head into his chest, mumbling about how he hid his handsome face from you for so long. You found him wholly attractive, both inside and outside, you told him confidently. You loved him so, so much, you assured him. Capitano could only whisper another thank you and run his large hand up and down your back, hoisting you into his lap.

You give him sooo much smooches after that <3 You're sure to record this as the day you were first able to give him forehead and cheek kisses!

[aureli-us]

okay halo people new question: what do you think chief actually looks like??? i LOVE masked characters (cough miraak) because i love the chance to sort of invent them physically below the mask. for that reason i hope to never actually see a canon john face in the games (despite being the literal greenest newbie to play halo on the planet rn) BUT i really enjoy trying to think of it myself??? some ideas i got browsing:

from the halo: escalation comic so the site said. i LOVE his baby blues i love how deep and colorful they are. i cant tell if he looks a little tan under there or it's just the shadow? i've seen somewhere the games or books describe him as too pale bc he rots in his armor all the time lmao. BUT i really really enjoy the oceanic eyes. idk if this comic ever shows his full face, i saw others did, but i would be SO interested to see what they do with the rest of him bc he'd probs look sick as fuck in the dark horse style

THIS ONE to me is gorgeous. i 100% love his hair here, it's exactly how i imagined it. brown and short, but like, military short but NOT a buzz (sorry i hate him w a buzzcut. its most probable but i cant😭) big fan of the widow's peak/hairline and tbh i really like his scars? im all for him being fucked up. part of me also wonders if his face would possibly be more protected??? but also all i know about spartans is that becoming a spartan Hurts so maybe they're like,,,, GMO scars

(ik i legit haven't touched deviantart for like....a decade) THIS was a cool collection. OP points out some similarities that are interesting (mainly his short brown hair, straight nose, and SCRUFF🥰🥰🥰). my favorite favorite favorite is probably second column from left, three down, the one where he has 117 buzzed into his undercut. that shit goes fuckin HARRRRRRRDDDDDDD. i tried to reverse search it but i couldn't rly find the OG of that one, which is sad 😔

that's all!!! i just thought it'd be cool to get ppl's thoughts. i saw a lot of comments that were basically like "chief has no face to me, he's the helmet" and tbh it makes a lot of sense, esp since that's legit how he was designed for the express purpose of first person feeling/relatability. feel free to reply or dm me your ideas!!!

[estrellami-1]

I saw your post and I decided, why not? I've never done this before! (I'm no good at thinking of prompts). Currently I have one thing on my mind: Good Omens. And maybe this is weird to ask, but could you maybe take a scene from it and steddie-fy it? I don't care who's who.

There's a scene, which is my personal favorite, where Crowley asks Aziraphale to hang out after having dinner, and Aziraphale, with a soft voice and a longing look, says "You go too fast for me, Crowley."

And of course the "just a little demonic miracle of my own" scene. That ones a bit longer to explain, so I'd search it up for a better experience. This is the one all of us, including the author, speculate is when Aziraphale realized he was in love with Crowley.

Uhhhhhh yeah peace out ✌

Okay yes I know exactly what you’re talking about, I’ve seen the show and I’ve read the book (more than once actually lol) BUT it’s been forever and right now I’m not remembering anything besides the vaguest outline of the scene in the forest, when he starts going by Crowley. And then a few random scenes that I had to look up 😩 strangely enough I couldn’t find the “you go too fast for me, Crowley” scene anywhere which SUCKS because now I need to see it just to see it 😂

Also side note I would LOVE to Steddify the entire thing, I feel like Nancy would make a great Anathema, and Robin would be a fantastic Madame Tracy, esp considering the fact that Aziraphale/Steve (that’s what I’m imagining, at least) literally inhabits her body. And there’s even a Party what with Adam and them! I’m thinking Dustin as Adam, Max as Pepper, Will as Wensleydale, and Mike as Brian.

Anyways. Yes I love this a lot, thank you 😂

“Didn’t you have a flaming sword?” Eddifer asks, tilting his head

“Uh- oh, uh-” Steve stutters. It’s embarrassing, angels don’t stutter, but he’s caught wrong-footed, not sure he did the right thing anymore, and with Eddifer looking at him like that-

“You did! It was flaming like anything,” Eddifer says triumphantly. “Lost it already, have we?”

“I… gave it away,” Steve mumbles.

“You what?” Eddifer asks incredulously.

“I gave it away!” He shouts.

Eddifer looks at him for a second. Blinks. Looks away.

Steve’s left with a feeling he did something right. It’s more comforting than it should be, coming from a demon.

~~~~~~~~

Steve tilts his head. “Is that you under there, Eddifer?”

“‘S Eddie,” he grumps, lifting his helmet and sighing. “‘S Alright, lads, I know him.” He shakes his head. “What the heaven are you doing here?”

“I could ask the same of you!”

~~~~~~~~

“Animals,” Steve hisses, locked in a dungeon. This is a pickle if ever there was one.

“Animals don’t kill each other with clever machines, Angel, only humans do that.”

“Eddie,” he says, can’t help the excitement in his voice. Then he sees what Eddie’s wearing. “Oh, good Lord.”

Eddie’s lounging against the wall, arms crossed, looking Steve up and down. “What the deuce are you doing, locked up in the Bastille? I thought you were opening up a bookshop!”

“I was! I got… peckish.”

“Peckish,” Eddie parrots flatly.

Steve huffs. “Well if you must know, it was the crepes. Can’t get decent ones anywhere but Paris.”

“Angel,” Eddie says, “you’re really something else.”

Steve can’t quite figure out if that’s a compliment or not.

~~~~~~~~

“Y’know,” Steve says, almost certain Eddie’s going to push him up against a wall again for it. It’s half the reason he says it. “I think, deep down, you really are quite a nice person.”

Eddie doesn’t push him up against a wall, only smirks into his drink. “Only because you’re just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing.”

[sunsoakedhighhopes]

In this case, Steve is actually doing something for himself for once, not as a part of the US military, and not exactly as Captain America either, though obviously Captain America is going to have a role to play.

Steve stops by an island prison, which is, I guess, under territory of France, now controlled by the Nazis, to check in on a friend, who is a political prisoner after France's defeat by Germany.

As usual, Steve just does not give any fucks. He never sugarcoats his feelings about the Nazis, he never plays political, even if it might be to his benefit to do so. Obviously antagonizing the warden of the prison where his friend it being kept isn't the most political tactic, but i guess it's true that Steve knows that he doesn't have to play nice in this situation, because he is Captain America, and he knows that he can take this whole prison down, if he needs/wants to. (One thing Comic Steve is not lacking, which is, I think different from his portrayal in the MCU, is confidence. Of course, a lot of that is possibly down to the fact that the vast majority of Steve's early life and backstory wasn't established by Marvel until much much later -- after his original run had completed.)

One thing I've also noticed about these early issues is that we never really get any kind of internal monologue from Steve, which is something that's much more prevalent in modern comics.

So we don't actually have Steve's motivations. He tells the warden that he's just there to check up on his friend, and there's never anything shown -- no scenes between him and Bucky or anything else -- that would indicate that this wasn't his true intention when he arrived, but I really kinda like to imagine that he went to this place with the full intention of Captain America-ing it up, and rescuing his friend. So, like, Steve is not bothering to try to placate this guy in any way, because he fully knows that his friend isn't going to be there much longer.

So, they bring out Steve's friend and he's.... looking a little rough.

Steve is of course quite horrified. But after a pointed look from the warden, Tom insists that they haven't treated him badly, and in particular the warden has treated him very well -- he just, you know, likes being so thin that he can barely stand and you can count each and every rib.

Then Steve is quickly ushered back outside where he is shown to the hut where he will be staying, and I'm only including this panel because Steve is wearing a pith helmet, which is a hat that really shouldn't look good on anyone, and yet, here he is, looking handsome as hell.

Steve obviously didn't fall for any of this bullshit, and again, I love that Steve just apparently wears his uniform under his clothes at all times. Like, is he afraid to pack it in his suitcase? I guess it does help with the speedy magical girl transformation into Captain America, but like, he's literally on what appears to be a tropical island, wearing his uniform under a suit -- how is he not absolutely dying from the heat?? Also, does this mean that Bucky is always wearing his uniform as well? Does he wear it to school? And once again, where are Bucky's parents??

Okay, so this prison warden guy is really not the brightest, because he doesn't even wait for Steve and Bucky to leave the island before torturing Tom again. Like, what exactly was the thought process here? Did he think that Steve was going to be like, "Well, my obviously emaciated friend says he's just fine, so I guess everything's good. I'm just gonna hang out the beach for a bit and get a tan and then head home."

Unfortunately for Steve, this prison torture chamber is set up like a Bond villain's lair.

No, but like, literally. Bond villain setup here.

This is the second time that they've put Steve in a man vs beast type situation.

Interesting, because here we have, canonically, the wings on Steve's helmet are made of steel, and are sturdy enough to use as a weapon.

And unfortunately, yes, Steve does kill another animal here, but in Steve's defense, it seems like the only other option was getting eaten by sharks. And I just think this was probably one of those popular tropes in the forties to show a character was really strong and fearless. We can't judge these comics by today's standards. And again, it's not like he really had a choice.

He does leave the third shark alive -- again, proving that he only killed the first two because he didn't have a choice.

When Steve crawls back out of shark pit, he finds the warden looming over Bucky with a knife, about to stab him -- which if you've been paying attention, threatening Bucky in front of Steve is just about the fastest way to ensure your imminent defeat. Although unfortunately, Steve does not in fact feed the prison warden to the sharks. Come on, the set up was right there!

They then rescue Tom, who somehow hasn't figured out that his friend Steve is Captain America, despite Steve arriving on the island that same day with a small boy named Bucky -- and you know what, whatever, we'll go with it. Maybe Tom is being tongue-in-cheek here, maintaining Steve's secret.

Tom says he's going to Greece to continue fighting against the Nazis, and later, Steve and Bucky read a newspaper article about a new addition to the Greek forces, an American pilot who had become a terror for the Nazi forces.

[foggysirens]

ao3 masterlist

hello friends! finally figured it was time to compile all my fics together over here on tumblr for easy access!

as of now, everything i've written is star wars/dinluke, but if that changes in the future you'll see that updated here!

oneshots

lost to you (4.3k, T)

“I didn’t think I’d ever step foot back onto Tatooine again.” Din spins around, blaster drawn. His grip on the gun falters when he sees who’s standing behind him. “Skywalker?”

sharp dressed man (3.7k, T)

“Okay,” he says, pushing open the door of the changing room as he tightens the tie around his neck and smoothes out an errant wrinkle from the front of his shirt. “How do I look?” He hopes that this will be the winning look. It’s definitely the only one he’s liked so far, the only one he can see himself buying and actually wearing afterwards. Bo-Katan just needs to agree, or else Din will end up sitting next to a co-council that’s plotting to set his wardrobe on fire. “A bit like my uncle if I’m being honest,” replies a voice that is decidedly not Bo-Katan’s.

all of this turbulence (wasn't forecasted) (5.6k, T)

Luke Skywalker always wanted to be a pilot. He never got to be.

no language left to say it (4.9k, T)

“What is that?” “What is what?” Leia points a finger at him, “That thing on your head!” Confusion blooms for a second before realization sinks in, “Oh! My braid?” - In where Luke grows a Padawan braid and there are a lot of thoughts about it.

sprinkling stardust (10.1k, T)

There was nothing in the world that Luke was more sure of than he was about Din Djarin. Din's son? Not so much. - Or, the one where Luke realizes that dating a guy with a kid can be hard. Especially when the aforementioned kid doesn't seem to like you.

a moment in the sun (10k, T)

“Let me get this right,” Din says slowly. “You’re telling me that we have to captain one of the company baseball teams together and prove that we’re a good couple, or your uncle is going to fire you?” “Pretty much.” - Or, the one where Luke comes to figure out what he wants most out of life, all to the tune of intermediate corporate baseball.

get there fast (and then we'll take it slow) (11.3k, T)

The first thought that crosses Luke’s mind about the man in front of him is that, ‘his eyes are stunning’. His second thought is a loud and resounding, ‘shit’. - Or, the one where Luke is forced to retire early, copes by flying across the country to visit his sister, and falls head over heels for the handsome stranger that he got caught staring at in the airport.

après nous, le déluge (20k, M)

A year after a less than favourable meeting, Mand'alor Din Djarin is once again face to face with the man that everyone around him seems to think he despises. If only they knew the truth. - Or, the one where finding love as the ruler of an entire planet is hard, but keeping it a secret is harder.

all for freedom and for pleasure (9.4k, T)

“It was you.” The words fall from Luke’s lips before he can stop them. The Mandalorian freezes, helmeted gaze turning to focus on him. “The Force was leading me to you.” - Or, in an act of desperation, the Rebellion seeks out help from a rather unlikely source, leaving Luke unsure of how to feel about the new arrival to Echo Base, but unable to deny that the Force works in mysterious ways.

called for you everywhere (20k, T)

Din’s done well for himself, all things considered. Living under the nose of the Empire, hiding in plain sight. Surviving. Not bad for a former Jedi. - Or, in the aftermath of Order 66, former Jedi apprentice Din Djarin spends his days trying to track down a lost piece of his past. What he finds, however, is far more than he was expecting.

kiss me once again (15.6k, T)

Seventy years. Din Djarin lost seventy years of his life and only has memories of ghosts to show for it. Until the man on the bridge, that is. - Or, the one where Din is Captain America and Luke is the Winter Soldier and it's just about as tragic as you'd expect.

you're the cigarette (and i'm the smoker) (2.5k, T)

He reaches over toward his lover's side of the bed, but instead of warm skin, his hand falls flat against cold, rumpled sheets. Luke blinks up at the ceiling, twisting his fingers around the empty bedding. - Or, Luke and Din share a late-night smoke.

specific taste (5k, M)

“What’s your name?” the Mandalorian asks again. Luke pauses. This could be it. He could tell this mysterious and sexy stranger his name and risk getting recognized, or he could do what he came here to do in the first place. “Marc,” he says. “My name is Marc.” - Or, the one where Luke just wants one night to be anyone else at all.

boys workin' on empty (9.3k, T)

“Do you like it?” Luke couldn’t help but ask as he walked backwards and hopped up onto the crate, tired of standing on his feet. "Driving, I mean." Din glanced at him over his shoulder, something flashing across his face that Luke wasn’t able to decipher before he looked away again. “I don’t mind it. It’s quiet for the most part. Decent hours and I’m always home for supper.” “Must be nice.” “If you like that sort of thing.” “I do.” - Or, the one where Luke works retail and Din is the dashing delivery driver that he can't seem to get out of his mind.

i'll be gone (in a day or two) (15k, M)

Before it all, Luke Skywalker had been a teacher. - Or, the one where the dead outnumber the living, but Din and Luke still end up finding each other anyway.

my love is mine, all mine (2.5k, T)

Going months without Din was like getting rain on Tatooine. Unfathomable. - Or, Luke returns home.

shake this frost off of my bones (5.4k, T)

“Eager to get rid of me?” “You’re not eager to go?” Luke raises an eyebrow. “Out here all alone on a stranger's farm? Someone else in your shoes might say they’re in trouble.” Din hums, “You don’t seem like the trouble type, Mr. Skywalker.” Luke winks, “Well, I’m glad one of us thinks so, Mr. Djarin.” - Or, Luke is a farmer and Din has car troubles.

a misfit and a mess (14.9k, T)

Din Djarin has been playing Dungeons and Dragons professionally for nearly ten years. He's never shared a table with someone quite like Luke Skywalker before. - Or, the one where sometimes the best way to discover real love is to find it in a fantasy world first.

true blue (5k, T)

“How do you just keep getting better with age?” Luke admires aloud, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to Din’s chin. “You look so good. It’s infuriating.” “You’re one to talk,” Din grumbles between more kisses. “Can’t even see the sliver in your hair it’s so blond.” Luke pulls away, blinking. “What?” - Or, the one where Luke doesn't handle growing older as well as he thought he would.

you're going to die here, you know (13.4k, M)

There’s a grit under Luke’s nails that won’t go away.

suffer does the wolf (4.4k, T)

He ignores the tremble of the flame once he finally finds the beat-up Zippo he carries around, flicking it to life and cupping it up to his face. It throws just enough light to cut through some of the licking, blue wounds cast by the moonlight, but not enough to do anything more than make the grave before him look endlessly deep. A black chasm of bugs and dirt that he’s suddenly very sure must stretch down to the very core of Hell itself. It looks like every dark and swirling and fetid thought that has lived in Din’s head since his heart got placed six feet underground. - Or, Din digs up a grave.

chaptered fics

dumb, beautiful boy (18.1k, T, Completed)

There's a point in which Din thinks anyone else would just stop, let themselves stumble, maybe trip a little gracelessly and admit defeat. But Luke keeps going. He tries to continue his jog, but he’s lost most of his momentum and his legs are off-balanced. Luke starts to pitch forward and Din only manages to take one step towards him before Luke tumbles to the ground; landing on his stomach, arms sprawled in front of him. - Or, the five times Luke fell and the one time Din caught him.

somewhere only we know (63k, T, Ongoing)

Scanning the paper, Din's eyes fall onto a listing that he had somehow missed. Right at the bottom of the page, in smudged black ink, is a listing from the natural history museum looking for a new nighttime security guard. Now that was an interesting thought. - Or, Din is a struggling single father who becomes the natural history museum's new night guard. He's not expecting much out of the job other than a steady paycheque, but when the sun goes down and the exhibits start to come to life, Din needs to find a way to keep everything under control. A task easier said than done, especially when there's a certain Medieval knight who won't leave him alone.

[cosmic-ships]

Oops :) Gets real under the cut. It's nothing bad though! <3 turns into a gush post near the end~ It's a little long so I get it if no one reads it but I like to voice my thoughts that's all.

Top of the list he goes. He deserves to be there. Not only are his scenes at the end of IX helping me to overcome my fear of thunder and lightning. There's something else.

A few years ago I lost a certain spark. Every ounce of creativity and passion I had shattered. I was always chasing the next "big f/o" that would spark that passion again, that creativity. I never found it and I got depressed for a little bit because I thought I would never find a love as grand as I had before. So my storytelling became nonexistent, I stopped drawing, and the endless thoughts I used to have were replaced with an endless emptiness so I went quiet. I gave up trying to chase something that I thought would never happen again. I was slowly losing myself

I spent a last few years yes, self-shipping and yes don't get me wrong I love all of my f/o but there was something missing, I didn't feel the need to scream every two second about how much I love them, there was just something "off" with myself. I couldn't voice it or the anons would come with their pitchforks "You don't really love your f/o" plus it was hard to put into words. How can you love your f/o but still feel that something is missing?

cut to my sick ass lazing on the couch in the present time. I get an idea, "Hey I haven't watched the Star Wars movies in like...forever- maybe I'll re-watch them all.. then there are the newer ones I haven't seen yet." So I start watching the movies. I had a few interruptions when I was watching VII and VIII but I kept on watching. I thought Kylo Ren's lightsaber was so badass but at the time thought nothing much of Ben himself.

As the days went on I decided to rewatch VII VIII and IX because of said past interruptions be it people or my sick ass having to take meds and stuff. As I do with most things I watch the second time I really consume it. I noticed something. Something different. The very first time Kylo took his helmet off I felt it the feeling that started in my chest and radiated to my stomach.. butterflies? He spoke and there was no distortion from his mask as he wasn't wearing it and I felt my heart skip a bit. what the hell?

the more I watched the more I learned, the more I learned the more I started to fall in love. Do I condone some of the things he's done? No. Do I still love him? Absolutely. After the movies I sort of just sat there on my couch, looking at my own reflection of the tv. "wow, I like Ben huh?" I said to myself then I shrugged. "Ah, fleeting crush and maybe an f/o" Throughout the rest of the day however I couldn't stop thinking about him. Everything from his appearance to how he talked and how he carried himself.

So I decided to run with it. Would it be one of those f/o where I say I'm crushing and nothing happens? Or maybe it will be like my other recent f/o Alex? Talk about him for a little bit but then the fixation dies almost as quickly as it started?

Neither of that happened. I got flooded with endless thoughts, and ideas. Ideas for moodboards, playlists, art.

I got attached to Ben so much, it's hard to explain it but I feel connected to him in a way that I never thought was possible for me ever again. He makes me genuinely smile and I don't mean just smile with my mouth but makes me smile with my eyes. He makes me blush and laugh and feel like I'm on top of the world in such a euphoric state. I actually feel like we're together- like actually. I know it sounds insane but I have every bit of real emotion for Ben. I feel well- in love.

I said I love all my other f/o too and its true and this might sound terrible and believe me I've thought myself as a terrible person but the love I hold for Ben is higher and so much more different than the love I have for the others..

I thought he'd be like a shooting star. A moment of fun but he'd fade away just as fast as he came into my life.

I'm thankful that wasn't the case. He managed to do what I thought wasn't ever gonna happen to me again. He reignited my spark and love and appreciation. I can't say the last time I smiled this much irl and how much I've had my heartbeat fast and the tint rise to my cheeks.

I guess in short...

Ben makes me feel like I'm alive again.

<- I'm trying so hard not to cry as I talk about this but I mean it's true, I've had so much bullshit happen in my life. I've survived so many hardships and awful people. I forgot what feeling alive was, I thought my new normal was to not expect happiness because it will be met with tragedy and I'll be back at square one. Alone and fighting demons in my mind.

Ben has reignited my heart and I am forever grateful for him, I love him so much already and I hold him so incredibly dear. He makes me feel strong, and loved, and passionate- I love him with my entire soul. So deeply that the love extends past the words themselves. It's so much deeper.

If you read this far thank you <3 It means a lot to me. Thanks for listening to me coherently ramble for once.

[shreddeddescent]

What about something with them as kids?

A drawing or comic or rant or something :9

Some more angst but child-trauma/abuse style

to be completely honest, im not sure how specific i wanna get into with their childhood. like there's a reason i started any writing of this with a flashback, i only let them talk about their experiences and not show them. their memories of it are more important than depicting events. i guess anything id show would need to be a shared memory, probably something in their little shared room. to have a real clear picture of their own shit they'd need to corroborate their story.

maybe thats a dumb answer to this, i could do it if i wanted to, but honestly it doesnt seem like something i want to do? sorry if thats disappointing after most of the things i've said. i think i might throw up if i do that. im willing to show them as teens dealing with shredder, but as the kids they were? i really cant.

they've never seen their fathers face. i can say that. he wears that helmet all the time. its either a source of invulnerability, or he makes them think it is. they cant be sure. but they know his eyes, and they fear that he's a monster under there. but the truth of it is he's just a man, thats what makes him really scary.

actually. i had raph tell casey something about what he remembered maybe you'd wanna see that? as like... the most general but specific shit i've said. this is like a week after they've met, and seeing a Foot Tech symbol on a crate sends raph spiralling into a panic attack she has to save him from. this is a short aftermath.

About an hour later they’re sitting on a roof eating hot dogs. Raph tried to protest but she wouldn’t have it, worried about the panic attack he had earlier.

“So. Your dad is Oroku Saki? The billionaire?”

Raph frowned and swallowed hard.

“I guess. I never knew how much money he had.”

“So you’re like a rich kid?”

He closed his eyes. He thought back to their dingy little bed room, barren and minuscule. The stash of cereal under the floorboards there to make sure no one starved. Hidden stuffed animals, hidden drawings. Mattresses on the floor. Diapers in the closet in case Mikey had an incident. Books hidden under Donnie's bed.

He opened his eyes and stared into the lights of the cars passing over a bridge.

“I guess I could have been. The building was fancy, but we were prisoners.”

She scoffed. “In a skyscraper?”

Raph looked at her seriously.

“I was born in a lab. Maybe there was a time when I was a baby things were different, but we lived to serve a need we didn’t fill. We… we’re not human, I know. But it was worse, we weren’t people. We were allowed in our bedroom, and the dojo. And… the lab.”

He shuddered thinking about it.

“I guess...a skyscraper is still a skyscraper though.” He added.

She was staring at him with a steely expression. He avoided the gaze and took another bite of his food.

“How bad was it?” She asked. “That you had to run away? I always dreamed about running away.”

“Casey…” he closed his eyes and put his hot dog down, swallowing hard. “Don’t ask me about it. I really don’t want to have another panic attack in front of you.”

“Psh, you’re fine. Honestly, I feel bad not asking. You’ve been listening to me complain about my parents all week.”

He looked at her, her mouth was stuffed with the last of her hot dog and she eyed him with such curiosity.

He started fiddling with the tails of his mask.

“Skyscrapers aren’t fun when you get locked on the roof. High tech robots aren’t fun when they’re pelting you with knives. Swarms of staff aren’t fun when they’re there to keep you locked up in a room with no food all night. And... and rich dads aren’t fun when they tell you you’re their property and allowed to do whatever they want with you.”

She swallowed hard and paused for a minute.

“Okay. You win. Score one for the rich boy.”

[nightingaelic]

Got this idea from when my courier wore the Riot Gear. Fnv companions react to the Courier, who they thought is a big scary guy, removing their helmet to reveal their actually a fem!courier underneath. Samus style. Like full voice modification only for them to have a sweet voice and also pretty hair.

For the record, pretty hair is very hard to pull off under a helmet

Mojave Express couriers on the job weren't a talkative bunch to begin with, given how loose lips might spell the doom of someone carrying items of value, but Courier Six had a reputation for being quiet even among other couriers. Their red-eyed ranger helmet remained silent from the start of a delivery to its finish, and even when they spent their caps on supplies and a room at the local bar, their verbal requests were minimal, distorted, and uttered only through the protective layer of a mask.

They were reliable with their deliveries though, so it quickly became a running joke around the Mojave after the business in Goodsprings that the silent, veiled walker of the wasteland had simply refused to have red in their ledger, and had risen from the grave accordingly. Word of their deeds spread fast, and their reputation only grew - tall as an old yucca, strong as a yao guai, with naught but vengeance and grit beneath their helmet. By the time they had made their way through the desert, passed the credit check onto the New Vegas Strip and located the front doors of the Tops, their companion had mostly accepted that this secrecy was permanent for some reason. In fact, they had been prepared to never know the face of the person they shared their road with.

This just made it all the more confusing when the courier stopped in front of the casino they'd set their sights on and pried their helmet off to reveal a wave of shining hair. They lowered their headgear and sighed, a delicate sound that would previously have been muffled by the carbon fiber and plastic, and turned to their stunned traveling companion. "Ready?"

Arcade Gannon: "Whoa, hang on." Arcade reached out as if to grab the courier's shoulder, then thought better of it halfway through the motion. The result was a limp grope that they eyed defensively, taking a half-step back from the researcher.

"S-sorry," Arcade stuttered, realizing just how stupid he looked in this moment. "I just- you weren't going to- why didn't you-?"

The courier realized the source of his flabbergasted expression and giggled. "Er- yeah, sorry, I wasn't thinking about- well he won't recognize me if I have this on."

They held up their helmet and tapped its dome with their thumbs. "Or maybe he will, I was wearing it before I ran into him and the Khans, too. But I'm not the only person wearing NCR armor in town, so..."

Arcade's impulse to be defensive of this person who had just revealed their appearance to him quickly suffocated. They might have a face that inspired protectiveness, but he'd been traveling with them long enough to know that they were more than capable of defending themselves. Still, it raised questions that he knew would eat at him if left alone too long.

Arcade jerked his head toward the Tops. "If there's still a bar in there after you're finished... can I buy you a drink? We should talk."

The courier raised an eyebrow, but they nodded. "Sure. Well... maybe not here, depending on how things go."

Craig Boone: Boone wasn't sure what they were expecting him to say. He'd followed them from Novac, he'd scouted ridges for them and dispatched enemies from hundreds of yards away, and not once had he needed a reminder to be alert and prepared. But as they gazed at him, right through his sunglasses and past the composure he wore to keep himself sane, something he thought he'd buried twinged.

He nodded. The courier searched his face for a moment longer, before returning the nod and facing the doors again. "Then let's go. I've got a bullet to repay."

Lily Bowen: "Dearie, you ought to brush your hair before we go into a fancy establishment," Lily suggested. The nightkin began rooting around in her bag. "Let grandma do it for you."

"Lily, I don't think we have time for-"

"Hush." Lily withdrew a gap-toothed comb that she'd held onto through the years - not for her own head, obviously, but because it reminded her of an underground life gone by - and patted the corner of a large, raised plant bed that was decorating the outside of the casino.

The courier sighed and sat, and Lily began to gingerly comb through their hair, avoiding the scars from their first run-in with the owner of the Tops and murmuring encouragements to the tougher tangles. The courier winced a bit and screwed their face up, but they sat as still as they could until their surrogate grandmother was finished.

Lily stowed the comb away and went searching through her pack again. "A mirror... supposed to be a mirror, along with..."

The courier caught her large hand and squeezed it. "I'm sure it looks great," they reassured her. "Benny probably won't even recognize me."

"He had better," Lily said, frowning.

Raul Alfonso Tejada: "Al rato," Raul replied, flabbergasted. "First, you tell me why you didn't take that off sooner. Confías en mí, Six?"

"More than most," the courier answered, after chewing on their lip for a few seconds. "I would've taken it off, but then after you told me about Rafaela... I thought it might..."

They trailed off, and Raul's heart sank. "You thought we might have a problem."

"Mmm-hm." The courier tucked the helmet under their arm. "Judging by your face, we do."

Raul didn't deny it. He'd seen the courier destroy raider camps, cut down assassins, work miracles for the wasteland and its people - but all he could see now, looking at them, was his little sister and the ugly fate she had met so long ago.

The courier drew their weapon. Raul's hand flashed out and grabbed it, catching their fingers in his grip as well. "I've... I've got your back, boss, but are you sure-"

The courier shrugged his hand away. "Just trust me, okay? I'm not... I know what I'm doing. What I'm about to do."

They turned forcefully and yanked open the door to the casino before Raul could argue. All the old ghoul could do was follow them, muttering "Ojalá," under his breath.

Rose of Sharon Cassidy: "Holy mother of mole rats," Cass yelped, nearly dropping her shotgun in surprise. "You can't just toss a revelation like that on the pavement and expect me to not be rattled, Six!"

"Save it for dinner at the Gourmand, afterwards," the courier joked. "You shoot well enough when you're drunk, I'm sure you can handle an earth-shattering revelation just fine."

"Oh, are you taking me to dinner after this, gorgeous?" Cass grinned. "We might not fit the dress code, unless you plan to pinch that dandy's suit before we pull the fire alarm."

The courier made a face. "No suit. If I had to scrape together 2,000 caps just to make it into this circus, I can afford something new for both of us, plus dinner."

Cass fluttered a hand playfully against her chest. "For little old me? That's just too much, Six, you worked hard for that money. What's say we just rob the guy you're about to shoot and use his caps instead?"

The courier laughed and did a little bow. "A capital idea, my fair lady. Shall we?"

"We shall." Cass gave a wobbly curtsy and linked elbows with them. "And for the record, I am no lady."

Veronica Santangelo: Veronica whistled long and low, taking in the courier's pretty face. The courier blushed and dipped their head self-consciously, causing the Scribe to backtrack in her appreciation. "I mean- I mean, I didn't mean- just that I- just wow, Six."

"'Wow' as in 'way to spring this on me last minute', or 'wow' as in... wow?" the courier asked.

"Both. Mostly the second." Veronica looked them up and down appreciatively. "I totally get it, there are advantages to going around with your face hidden, but god, the wasteland's missing out when it comes to you."

"Oh, stop it."

"Oh no, you opened this can of Cram, Six. Now all I'm going to be thinking about for the next month is how everyone out there sees a stoic warrior of vengeance when you roll into town, but underneath your getup you're a sweet little cinnamon roll with the face of an angel."

"I can be both," the courier chided her gently. They tucked the helmet under their arm and turned back toward the doors of the Tops. "Both warrior and cinnamon roll. Whichever one gets me where I need to go."

"A tall cinnamon roll," Veronica murmured appreciatively, falling into step behind them.

ED-E: ED-E blipped its agreement and shook its chassis to show excitement. The courier nodded and took a deep breath, ignoring the stares of passersby who were suddenly walking through the Strip at much slower paces. "I don't know how he's going to react, but just in case he leads with that pistol of his, cover me," they said.

ED-E cooed down at the bright pair of eyes that had been hidden behind the helmet until this point. Its initial scans of the courier back in the Primm outpost had told the eyebot everything it needed to know, and it didn't find their decision to hide their face all that unreasonable. After all, it knew a thing or two about catching a bullet in its circuitry. They both did.

"Thanks, ED-E," the courier said with a smile. "Let's do this."

Rex: Rex barked and pitched forward into a playful stance, splaying out one organic paw and one cybernetic paw on the sidewalk. The courier chuckled and crouched down to scratch behind his ears. "I know, I know, you love it when people take their hats off. Have you been here before? Did the King take you, at some point? I could use a guide, if we have to beat a hasty retreat."

Rex sniffed the ground a bit before looking up at them with a lolling tongue. The courier nodded and straightened up. "Alright, then. Better get moving, before any Chairmen manage to warn the boss that I'm coming."