#i've missed talking about them so much
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Love in the Air: Give & Take VS Give & Receive
You best believe I wrote a meta around Sky/Prapai’s Episode 12 uncut NC scene. That’s the reality we’re operating in folks. So saddle up. Episode 8′s initial collision between Sky and Prapai is the epitome of Give and Take.

Prapai proposes that Sky ‘give’ him something in return for helping him. Sky very pointedly responds with, “just take what you want”, which carries an implied ‘(I dare you)’ in that rebuttal. It’s the resigned surrender of someone accustomed to others doing just that, with little concern over his wellbeing. There’s an air of ‘Fine, ruin me for all I care. If that’s how you want to play, then do your worst.’
Episode 8′s love scene revolved around Sky trying to pleasure Prapai, because that was the condition he was trying to meet. When you give and give till you’re running on empty, you can almost convince yourself you don’t care anymore. You flirt with self-destructive behaviour because you think you’re numb. Sky does this with evident reluctancy because he hates how much he does care.


Once Prapai falls in love with Sky, he no longer wishes to see Sky fall prey to this type of mentality. Sky telling him ‘he gives in’ is not the reaction Prapai necessarily wants. Because doing so would only make him feel like he’s taking advantage. What Prapai seeks is a mutual, reciprocal relationship with Sky. An equal relationship. He reiterates this by saying ‘just because I do x, y and z, doesn’t mean I expect sex in return’. Prapai is not okay with receiving if it means Sky always has to give. Sky’s tendency for self-sacrifice doesn’t sit well with him.

Fast forward to Episode 12, Sky declares “I’m yours. All yours.” and its embroiled in devotion and rapture. Instead of being resigned to his fate, he’s actively choosing his surrender to Prapai. Rarely do we see Sky make such an open admission such as this. Rather than ‘I’m giving myself to you because I see no other option’, this is ‘I’m giving myself to you because it’s my chosen option’. The implication is anything you take from me is warranted. I’m giving you the go ahead to do so.
Even in Episode 11′s love scene, Sky uses the words “please shut up and take me”. He’s still trying to downplay the gravity of what it means when someone does this. ‘Just take me already, stop being so considerate and sentimental. It’s no big deal’. Sky still believes he has to be willing for his partner to take in order to secure their affection, and be seemingly nonchalant about it. It’s all he knows.

How Prapai chooses to respond to Sky in Episode 12′s uncut scene is what makes it so important. Instead of just ‘taking him’ up on his offer, Prapai decides to give back in a different way. To reply to Sky’s admission with: ‘if you’re putting yourself fully in my hands, then I will take care of you. I’ll do more than just take care of you, I’ll cherish and worship you.’ It’s no longer about one taking and another giving. Prapai grants Sky full permission to receive. If you give, I give. If I receive, so do you.
Oral is an act of service. You’re prioritising someone else’s pleasure before your own. When Sky realises this is what Prapai intends to do, he reacts with complete giddiness, sweetly stunned by this gesture. The notion that someone would put him first is clearly unfamiliar and unexpected. We can safely assume that all Gun ever did was take what he wanted, how he wanted.

For Sky, it was never about him, even during the highest act of intimacy. So for Prapai to make a point of doing so, to put Sky’s pleasure first and providing clear indication that ‘It’s okay, I want to do this for you’ is a huge act of love where Sky is concerned.
What’s even better when compared to Episode 8 is that Prapai gazes up at Sky lovingly before he goes in. When Sky did it, it felt very detached, he was performing based on what he thought Prapai probably wanted or expected of him during their one night stand. This is a silent declaration from Prapai of ‘this is how I want to treat you, this is what you deserve, I’m prioritising you’.

The difference between taking and receiving is assertion. Taking implies acting on what you want, upon your own desire. Whereas receiving is allowing someone to offer it to you. It signifies patience. Selflessness. It allows for generosity. It says I’ll be grateful for whatever you offer me, but I’m not demanding it. I’m letting you decide how, what and when.
It matters immensely to Sky to feel in control; to feel he has agency and choice. That’s the ultimate act of giving, is allowing the receiver to decide if they want to return the gesture without expecting them to do so. It’ll mean even more if they do.
#LITA#love in the air#love in the air series#love in the air uncut#LITA meta#LITA analysis#prapaisky#paisky#prapai x sky#sky x prapai#YES i wrote a meta on a BJ scene essentially#its important academic commentary okay?#i've missed talking about them so much
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no way she's alive ?? yea those mental health breaks because social media makes people suck are wild huh
#star wars#clone wars#star wars fanart#ahsoka tano#captain rex#anyway i bring you this a) because i'm going back to my tcw roots of late and b) because i miss them terribly#as you can see because i can't handle reality i put her in the novel design#cause wdym they split up after order 66 haha what no that didn't happen you're crazy#read it however you want idc ^^)b any interpretation of their dynamic is the best one i think#yea anyway in this amount of time i've gotten a lot better at anatomy and i don't really care about social media anymore#but i have like nowhere to put my art now so *shrug*#star wars the clone wars#artists on tumblr#i've wanted to do one of those post-type drawings and i am .-+ too lazy +-. to color it sooo#signature got cropped sigh. whatever#if you see a mistake no you don't. you know the drill#also i finally watched bad batch season 3 around christmastime and hewiutgeh.#singlehandedly took the show from a 4 to a 10 for me so thx dave filoni we love u as always >>>#lowk kinda missed it here *gazes fondly at the bot spam and screaming and cursing in my feed*#btw i have never used instagram in my life so if this is formatted wrong it's your fault. bye#someone tell me whether or not i should tag this as rxsk because i am very much debating#does tumblr even like them anymore ?? i know ao3 does they're still going crazy over there (>1k works God bless)#“bro's first post back and she's yapping her head off” cmon you know me by now anyway can we talk about season 7 ahsoka#i find no fault in her. she is perfect. she is the greatest version of any star wars character ever at all#no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told her about fives. no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told echo#ok that's enough bye i'll wait for this to get four notes at most and three of them being comments screaming at me#one more thing uhh suspend your disbelief since anakin liked the post. rots didn't happen and everything is fine !!#my art
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astarion origin playthrough worth it just for all the extra moments where he does the "sad wet cat" face
#bg3#bg3 spoilers#thoughts about media#astarion#*kisses his forehead* my awful little bastard man... i love you and your big sad watery eyes.#IT'S SO FUCKING QUIET THOUGH IF YOU YOURSELF ARE PLAYING HIM GOOD LORD#I'M SO USE TO HIM COMPLAINING TO MY TAV!!!!#OR BANTERING WITH HIM OR KARLACH OR WYLL!!!#I MISS HIS THEATRICS!!!!!!!#not that it's ENTIRELY quiet. until i found karlach i was travelling with shadowheart lae'zel and gale.#and let me tell you. gale and lae'zel do NOT shut the fuck up if they are together.#they were literally having an entire tinder date while we were trecking through the woods to go get karlach.#i NEVER knew they talk so much because while i've travelled with them individually in past saves...#...i've NEVER had them in my party at the same time!#gale is actually pretty nice to lae'zel! he asks a lot of questions but doesn't condescend her as he does others sometimes.#that's probably because he's afraid of her though. I would be too were I nothing more than a wizard with 8 strength.#I do like how you can look at pretty much any two companions and get a well written and generally enjoyable dynamic!#It feels like they considered that a lot of people would want to maybe pair off the companions they didn't romance with each other!#and wanted it to be easy for really any pairing to work... if a person just paid attention to their shared interactions.
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silverv feelings in spades tonight boys.
#cdpr you fucking psychos.#he chills in your CAR? in the new update#he says he MISSED V. in the update#he might've just been talking about his porsche. i can't remember if i've only seen it come up when someone's driving that specific car#but i am choosing to believe that He's In Love Actually.#i miss them so much#cyberpunk 2077#silverv#johnny silverhand x v
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Hellooo i saw that you were asking for asks (that sounds funny) and I wanna know some of your hcs on Kevin and Allison being besties/ kevjean relationship
This is my chance to finally share some Allison/Kevin hcs so I'm gonna seize this opportunity with both hands and give you this total MESS of a brain dump
- Allison is the only fox that doesn't make fun of Kevin's eating habits. Kevin KNOWS his relationship with food is fucked up because of the nest and Allison knows it too, so she refuses to make bets or make fun of the way that he eats. Kevin only realised because she once tried to quietly tell Nicky to knock it off when he was pushing Kevin to have dessert or making fun of what he'd decided to have instead.
- Kevin also knows not to talk about the numbers or macros in front of her, too. They have a weird unspoken mutual respect RE: food and they both appreciate each others efforts on that front without ever actually mentioning it. they also have a gesture for each other that's code for "i want a snack do you have anything" and they'll throw each other protein bars if they're out/on a long bus journey etc.
- they are the BEST drinking buddies. Whenever the team starts drinking/partying/clubbing more together post-TKM, they are literally CHILDREN when they're drunk together. Kevin gets tired of the monsters being boring when they go out and there's only so much dancing he can do with just Nicky and Aaron alone. So Allison pulls him up to the bar one night to do a tequila shot, and they literally have the most unexpectedly fun night ever. Kevin loosens up a whole lot without the threat of Riko etc post tkm, and when I tell you he is such a fun drunk. now he doesn't really drink THAT much during the season but off-season? oh he's a party animal. I could write thousands of words about him and Allison getting drunk together and becoming literal best friends as soon as they have a drop of alcohol in their systems but here's some things I think they've done drunk
stole a shopping cart and sat in it as they pushed each other down the road in it (and fallen out of it and laughed so fucking hard) ((but were bruised up as fuck the next day because of it)
he's sat her on his shoulders - while dan sits on matt's - as the two girls try to push the other one off
he's really easily convinced to do things by her. another shot? sure. and another shot IMMEDIATELY after that? alrighty! karaoke? well, okay. jockeyback? stealing traffic cones? pulling pranks and fucking with the other foxes? acting like actual teenagers? okidokie!
she's probably the only person in the world who has successfully convinced kevin day to sing
he holds back her hair if she has to puke
she convinced him to let her do his makeup once. full glam. like a serious look, fully beat, full coverage look. there's a picture out there somewhere of it that she saves for blackmail.
fucked. make out sometimes. strip poker. they dance together :)
he never lets her walk alone anywhere when she's drunk. if she can't find one of the girls to accompany her to the bathroom at a party she'll take him.
she's taught him full dance routines
she was joking that there's no way the raven warmups could be that different to theirs, and bet him that she'd be able to do them without breaking a sweat (he won)
they've both ugly drunk cried in front of each other (but they never talk about that sober)
she's pretty light so he's bench pressed her before
- They know each others drink orders/favourite shots
- if Allison is out, say she's with her friends and not with the foxes, and she has to wait alone for a taxi or walk somewhere alone, she'll call him and he'll stay on the phone with her until she's safe
- They make fun of each other and bully each other like there's no tomorrow (affectionate). the whole "Allison hates Kevin" thing WAS true for a while, but once they get closer, she just pretends to hate him. he's like an annoying brother to her
- Allison is really easily frightened, and Kevin thinks it's funny to scare her. she's never safe walking around a corner or into a room if Kevin is there and in a good mood.
- they're not BEST FRIENDS. like they're not in each others pocket all the time and laughing and joking ALL THE TIME but she can read him like a book. she knows when he's having an off day, or thinking about something too much.
- She also knows when he's being serious and when not to joke around. She knows when he doesn't want cheering up or to joke about something and knows when to back off. The same with him - he knows when she's having a mood that requires being cheered up, or a mood that requires him to leave her the fuck alone.
- He's a big reason why she puts a whole lot more of herself into Exy post tkm. She's always been invested, but once they talk more, and they consider each other friends, she listens to him talking about Exy and it really clicks for her. his dedication. and also how fucking talented he really is. She doesn't do the night training with him but they'll occasionally go to the gym together or start practice a half an hour early to run some basic raven drills.
- They're iconic when they get together to do press after games. they bounce off each other like nothing else. they're just so funny. and he's also like andy murray in that he will ALWAYS defend her, dan, and renee's talent if interviewers start to focus more on him instead of the girls. he'll step in if an interviewer says something shitty or misogynistic. she LOVES directing objectifying and misogynistic questions his way.
- She calls him a bitch and makes fun of him for being a nepo baby. He calls her an asshole and makes fun of her for being a rich kid.
- Have gone to banquets as each others date.
that's just a few random thoughts off the top of my head but yes. Allison and Kevin. Literally the only Two Pretty Best Friends ever to exist.
#i know this might feel ooc for kevin but just think about it#first of all taking these as individual moments rather than a constant thing#they're not cuddling as besties and painting each others nails and talking about boys#or doing all of these things ALL THE TIME#like#maybe it's just me#but if Kevin loosened up a bit and let himself enjoy things a bit more#post-TKM#i really could see them being friends alright#hes gaining a lot of courage and the foxes are pretty united#so theyre going out more together#and he CAN drink to have fun#and Allison IS fun#and they have fun TOGETHER#okay! i have read some stuff recently about allison being hit or miss for some people#but i love her (even if it is an extension of her that ive made up in my head)#and i've pretty much based their entire hypothetical friendship off that part in tkm when they're in the cabins#and someone says she could sleep with kevin#and she makes a loud retching sound as if that's the grossest thing ever#(and unless you want to unleash the unhinged kevallison in me dont get me started on them hooking up fr)#allison reynolds#kevin day#aftg#mine
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missing them
#my candy love#mcl armin#mcl lysander#people i'm forever going to miss them so so so so much omg#and not to be mean or anything because it's makes me sad too but i think that if there's like cameos of the OG characters#like they are probably going to be mainly Cas and mayyyyyyyybe Nath ig. maybe priya girliepop idk (i'm talking about LIs)#so i don't have the hope of seeing the loml in NG and of course they are not obligated to include them but. yk.#those two are the reason i'm in the fandom in the first place. every time i think about mcl i think about them#and i'm going to say it (i think i've said it before): i love the ep 3 thomas illu the most because i feel like it's soooo lysander route#also ep 2 thomas? armin route. people-#mcl high school life you'll forever be famous to me even if you are more than a decade old. idc ilysm.
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:3
#i love them i love themmmmmmmm#changed up the background idea entirely from what i had planned#i've gotta draw them more#noone look at me even#they're so much!!!#AUGH#ehehem#my art#haikyuu#haikyuu fanart#haikyu!!#haikyu!! fanart#tsukishima kei#tsukishima kei fanart#yamaguchi tadashi#yamaguchi tadashi fanart#tsukkiyama#tsukkiyama fanart#karasuno#i just think they're so so neat#i love best friend duos#they make me so unwell#rewatched a merlin ep earlier today and aughghghhg i love those two as well#that doesn't actually link in any way i just love to talk about merlin any chance i get#grrgrgrgrgr#i miss themmmmmmmmmmm#:))))))))))
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Finding Your Academic Path: A Guide to Making the Ikigai University Choice


Choosing the right university may seem like a daunting task, but it’s an opportunity to move closer to the life you want. It’s not just about picking a prestigious name or a course with promising job prospects—it’s about finding the intersection where your talents, passions, and opportunities align.
There’s a Japanese concept called ikigai—the sweet spot where what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for come together. Your university choice is the first step toward your ikigai: the place where you can develop your skills and build a future that resonates with your passions.
The best university for you is where you achieve your highest results naturally, because your mind naturally gravitates toward that field. Analyze your grades and the subjects where you consistently excel—what topics excite you enough to explore them beyond class time? The answer to this question is your first clue to the right path.

But choosing a university isn’t just about numbers. The learning environment plays a crucial role. Some people thrive in large universities, surrounded by a dynamic atmosphere with endless networking opportunities. Others do better in smaller colleges, where classes are more personal and interactions with professors are more direct. Think about how you learn best—do you need lively discussions, or do you prefer to study in peace and quiet?
Geographic location also matters. Would you rather be in a bustling city with access to events, internships, and professional connections, or in a quieter campus setting where you can focus deeply on your studies? Some flourish in fast-paced environments, while others need a more serene space to concentrate. The setting you choose will be the soil where you plant your roots for the next few years.

The concept of wabi-sabi teaches us to find beauty in imperfection. The same applies to choosing a university—there is no perfect decision, only the one that best aligns with who you are right now. Look beyond academics: your extracurricular activities, hobbies, and the things that excite you in your free time are valuable clues about which path might feel most natural to you.
Don’t underestimate the importance of seeking advice. Talk to students, professors, and professionals in the field that interests you. Their experiences can offer insights that a university website cannot. Attend open days, explore internship or study-abroad opportunities. Academia isn’t just about theory—it’s made up of people, environments, and opportunities that can shape your journey.
And then, there’s the financial aspect. A quality education doesn’t have to mean overwhelming debt. Research scholarships, financial aid, and part-time work opportunities. Just as an artisan carefully selects the materials for a masterpiece, planning your resources wisely will help you build a sustainable academic path.

Ultimately, choosing a university isn’t just about prestige or future job opportunities. It’s about finding a place where you can grow, learn, and develop your full potential. Ikigai and wabi-sabi remind us that the path won’t be perfect or linear, but every authentic choice carries value and the potential for growth.
University is only the beginning of your journey. What truly matters is how you seize the opportunities ahead to discover who you are and what impact you want to make in the world.
Source: Finding Your Academic Path: A Guide to Making the Ikigai University Choice
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Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how everyone thought Egon had gone insane. What Happened that made them think that. They've fought a gigantic Stay Puft Marshmellow Man TWICE (counting the 2009 video game because iirc it's canon? Correct me if I'm wrong), fought an interdimensional god, fought a blood thirsty ruler that killed thousands and was hated by all that was trapped in a painting (and managed to get in to beat him by making THE STATUE OF LIBERTY start walking down the street with slime that reacted purely based on vibes), found an underground abandoned transit system full of the moodslime, had a bathtub try to eat Dana and her baby, fought a giant murderous black widow lady, fought the fisherman ghost who turned an entire hotel floor into the bottom of a ocean, and that's not even mentioning them getting trapped on an island that randomly raised up from underwater that had been abandoned for decades created by Ivor Shandor who worshipped Gozer. So what did he do or say that made everyone else think he'd gone insane?? All I can think is maybe he was acting strange / eratic before, but he's always been like that to some degree.
I don't know. It's something that I've been thinking about. The correct answer is 'it's not that deep and they needed a reason that the others weren't together anymore and weren't aware of Egons death or know what was going on,' but also. What Was He Saying that prompted everyone, including Ray, to think he lost his mind when he'd been right almost every time before that.
I'm genuinely so curious as to what he was up to before this. What was he doing. What insane idea was working on prior to this or was he even working on anything at all??
Also want to clarify this post isn't negative 😭 I really love the newer movies and their lore / the newer storyline / characters, I just like thinking about small stupid things like this. Gives me something to think about / speculate about / figure out an answer to.
#ghostbusters#egon spengler#nikolas posts#I have so many thoughts on it because I've just been rewatching the two movies on loop for the past few days.#All we got was Ray saying that he'd started talking about the end of the world (IIRC) and that he went insane and took everything#when he eventually left to deal with it on his own#which for the record it's extremely impressive that he would've stopped Gozer from returning BY HIMSELF. The only reason it hadn't worked#was because of the electricity issue#Hiding all the traps and setting up the proton packs to fire at the hell pit?? Insanity. He's just on a complete different level of existin#Like they were aware of Ivor Shandor and his plans long before??? They found his ISLAND DEDICATED TO GOZER who had full intention of#BRINGING THEM BACK#it's really Really REALLY not this deep but I have thoughts and I wanted to share them. Maybe someone else might have an idea I#couldn't think of or might have something to add.#I guess it could be a 'they beat Gozer once and assumed they were gone' but that wasn't the first time Gozer 'died' so??#if I missed something Please tell me. I haven't watched the newer movies as much as the older ones (I grew up watching them / playing#the game so I'm more familiar with the older lore and haven't had the chance to rewatch the newer ones 1000 times over unfortunately)#so it's entirely possible I missed something#I'd think maybe it was just because they were older but I really don't think thats the case. I have reasoning for it but I need to do#the math to make sure I'm getting the ages right by the time AfterLife happens.#really need to make a chart / timeline of all the events that happened and what year / month / day they happened. That's a project#for tomorrow perhaps.#anyways if anyones reading this sorry for the insane rambling and congrats for making it to the end#also this post isn't negative I adore the newer movies so much. I love them a lot and I genuinely don't really care about this at all#just a thing to think / ponder / speculate about if that makes sense#I enjoy thinking about stupid irrelevant stuff like this#so so so many thoughts
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sometimes in the fandom you see some art that is SO beautifully made but goes SO against the grain of how you perceive the drawn character(s) like I want to reblog it so much because it's so visually gorgeous and the artist is amazing and deserves to know this but I'll fucking die before letting that particular interpretation of the character(s) anywhere near my blog
#personal#don't take it as vagueposting#it's about A LOT of art I've seen over the years and I just got reminded of some of it#fandoms in general tend to take the characterization of nuanced characters in certain very specific direction#that irritates me to an absolutely unreasonable degree#and I don't want to rain on anyone's parades#it's fandom and it's for fun there is no way to enjoy your fictional guys wrong#so I mostly keep silent about it#but given sufficient time pretty much every fandom drifts into the state where I can't engage with it#without seeing red like three posts into the tag#even the art tag#and I feel so weird sitting there with my different perception#pretty isolated#which is self-imposed and not exactly bad but still weird#luckily I have some close friends that I can still have in-depth discussions abt the media and characters with#but online fandoming eventually gets blood-boiling rather than fulfilling#which is especially idk weird?#given that I'm mostly drawing fandom stuff#and I kinda SHOULD be interacting with the fandom#and I'd love to have talks of those fictional guys#they are great guys and I love to talk about them#but then I poke my nose into the fandom and my blood gets boiling#it's weird being a fandom artist outside of the fandom is what I'm saying xD#especially once you get used to the boost of motivation and productivity that comes from being in the fandom#and I kinda miss that but also well nothing to be done about that#don't mind me and sorry for the rant
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since i spiraled back down stucky again i was so caught up in a post-winter soldier/post-civil war universe that i completely forgot that endgame existed.
#captain america#bucky barnes#stucky#steve x bucky#marvel#ca:tws#ca:cw#avengers endgame#like i've been deepdiving some fics#and coming across infinity war / endgame fics (fix its) and i'm like WAIT WHAT?????????#and then i'm like 'oh yeah THAT shit storm'#it's just so funny to me that i'm just like completely erasing everything kind of post infinity war#(also: i have forgotten how much i always hated the whole 'everyone lives in avengers tower' universe people were in for so long)#('and they all watched disney movies' WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THEY WOULD NOT DO THAT)#(clint maybe. and probably tony. but no one else.)#(i mean it was such an innocent sweet chaotic time but still hate that whole trope ahahahaha)#anyway it's been fun and i miss them so much
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if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.
#saying goodbye to my friend murphy tomorrow#i'll be okay. it's the right decision and i'll get through.#life is just going to be really hard and sad for a while#i don't want to talk about it in any detail but i feel like i have to say it out loud#and i have this paranoid anxiety thought that's like if I don't tell people he's gone they will ask about him#snd I won't be able to handle that for a little while#I don't need acknowledgment or sympathy. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need cheer-up fodder#so no need to send me anything or talk to me about it really i promise#just if you can take a second to love and appreciate the animals in your life. that would be really nice.#you don't have to tell me about it it would just be nice to feel there's love out there#writing this all out is making me feel so stupid. i've deleted and rewritten several times#but i gotta because it would be a lot worse if i was worrying about not talking about it#so yeah. no need for likes or comments or dms or asks or anything. just give someone some love for me ok?#murphy is the senior yellow lab you may have seen me post pics of sometimes. he's my parents' dog but he's my buddy.#and he's gotten me through a lot. like a lot a lot#and i'm going to miss the hell out of him#and i'm so worried about my parents. they're going to have a much worse time than me.#and they don't need anything else on their plates right now#it's just everything you know?#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other#so yeah. if you could give your pet a hug or a treat or a scratch or take them on their favorite walk. that would be awesome#this was good actually typing all this nonsense out helped a little. still don't want to talk about it but at least i have ideas for#the 'leave me the fuck alone' email i'm going to send everyone tomorrow at work
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I just want everyone to know that in the span of 3 days, I have made 3 loads of laundry, and have a 4th already sorted and ready to go (which includes towels / blankets / bedding). I still need to fold them and put them away BUT the important part is done 🥹
#once i out them all away i need to wash my plushies too but i'll leave it for next weekend#the laundry situation was bugging me A LOT. almost ran out of socks#why is laundry the most arduous and daunting of house chores? even dishes are much easier to get through#that post about making coffee in a million steps really resonates with me#because that's what doing laundry feels like. it's not just “wash clothes and put them away”#it's gather all dirty clothing in one place -> double check my “in use” clothes to see what also needs to be washed -> separate by colour#put on the washer -> take off the washer -> check if the clothesline is empty (and empty if not)#put them on the clothesline to dry -> empty the clothesline -> bring them to my room -> sort and fold -> put away -> rinse and repeat#many many steps. putting them outside to dry takes so long and so much energy out of me ugh#(no we do not use dryers here. that's not a thing. also i've had the experience back in the uk and while very convenient#it wears the fabric down so so much. clothes nowadays are made so flimsy and terrible quality#and using a dryer ruined a few of my favourite shirts. i do miss having warm sheets straight away tho)#but yeah. adult does basic chore whomp whomp (it's hard. i get it. you get it. i'm proud of myself and everyone else who has done A Task)#darya talks to herself
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actually...
looking at a bunch of my old favorite mutuals blogs that have been inactive for years. i miss them, even if i never really talked to any of them. when you're mutuals with a person for so long they become a comforting presence even without talking. you see them every day and read their posts about their thoughts or feelings or about what's going on in their life and so on. and they just become a part of your daily life in such a subtle way.
and then one day they just never post again. without warning. shit sucks. i actually hate it.
#i think about so many old mutuals like every day#just wondering where they've gone and what they're up to and how their lives have turned out#i love them and miss them so much#actually there have been a couple times when old mutuals suddenly become active again after years#but i can't count on that -- most don't#i wish there was some website or app or whatever#that would make it possible to stay in contact indefinitely#like i just imagine something like linktree or whatever#but also something more#just this one central hub with one username and it is just saved forever#and so any person who remembers your name can just look it up and suddenly have access to all these ways to contact you#because i've had my blog deleted a few times and like i gotta slightly change my url every time#so if someone looks up my og blog url they won't be able to find me#and that shit makes me sad#just a slight change in url could mean the difference between staying in contact#whatever#i get like this occasionally#nostalgic and sad because i miss old mutuals#scrolling their long abandoned blogs#idk why i do this to myself lmao#i do it with facebook sometimes too#i haven't posted since like high school#and sometimes i go back and see all my friends' profiles frozen in time#because a lot of their profiles are also inactive for whatever reason#i don't know why this shit makes me so sad#so yeah if you're a mutual -- even we don't talk -- don't ever just randomly delete or become inactive#even if we don't talk you can give me your other socials or whatever#or even an email idc#i just don't want to lose connection with any of you -- when i'm 80 years old i wanna reminisce with y'all#and i wanna throw everyone a feast someday
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#We've had our yearly secret santa gifts exchange at my dorm and I've been gifted the first volume of Beast 😭😭😭😭😭#I'm crying forever. This december marks three years since I've watched the first b/sd episode#and yet this is the first time I actually own a b/sd manga volume. Like I own it and I can read it whenever I want!!! How cool is that!!!!!#Like there's so many Akutagawa images in it!!!! It's insane!!!!!!!! AND IT'S BEAST AT THAT#I'm deeply moved because I never spoke about it to virtually anyone here (at my dorm)?#Like I suppose a bunch of people vaguely know I like anime but only a couple of close friends know I like. Like-like reading manga lol.#And the person who gifted it DEFINITELY didn't know I like anime in general much less b/sd specifically much less Beast in particular!!!!!#I'm 100% sure (they just arrived this year and we hadn't even had that much occasions to talk to each other).#Which means they went through the trouble of gathering intel from my close friends about what I like and actually follow through‚#seek for the specific manga in a comic store etc... It's such a nice gesture I'm so heartwarmed.#And of course I'm glad for every gift I've received in the last years (genuinely)‚ but the fact that this was the most *specific* to what–#I like. It makes it so special! They were so kind.#There must be one (1) person in this whole 60 people dorm who knows I like Beast–#(that would be the girl who introduced b/sd to me in the first place) and the fact that they asked them for it...#I feel both very grateful and lucky lol#When I unwrapped it!!! Like I thought it was just a random book which would have been nice but like!!!!!#When I actually saw through the thin paper the cover!!!! The scream I screamed in my head#Anyways!!!! I own a b/sd manga now!!!!! I've only got time to go through the first chapter so far but it's suchhhh an experience.#It's like reading it for the first time again 😭😭😭 Half because the translation is so much different than the English one lol.#And I basically know the English version by heart. Half because I never saw this kind of high quality!!!!! It's!!!!! Insane!!!!! Like!!!!!!#I'm crying 😭😭😭 The drawings are so sharp and crisp (in the good way). The lines are so clean there's no disturbance at all#I literally never saw anything so good in my life I'm crying a little. I'm so so glad they blessed me with Beast specifically#The takebon edition is pretty cheap (it's just planet manga so there's no color illustrations or dust cover or anything unfortunatelly.#But to make up for it the volumes are significantly cheaper then let's say J-Pop)#There's also some unique typesetting choices? The text from the book-like boxes is in lowercase which is interesting!#Initially I thought I wouldn't have liked the translation (opening it randomly there was Akutagawa saying “crepa!” (“die!”) to Dazai in ch1#Which was kinda jarring since it's very low register and everyone knows Akutagawa has very complex speech patterns.)#But actually reading it I'm really enjoying the translation so far!!!!#There's so many choices that made me grasp details I actually missed all the times I've read the English translation.#That is to say! Very excited to read it!!!! Will probably make a review / translation commentary if I can find the time!!!!!
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How long do you want your title to be? Historical non-fiction: y e s
Last year I actually started making a proper list of films, series etc that I want to watch - something I've been wanting to do for a long time but never did. That probably caused me to forget about things more than once😂
I mainly started it for historical movies at first, because my history phase that I had when I was about 14 or 15 came back big time, and there's been some things I've wanted to watch since then already but still didn't! I knew about Downfall since like 2017 or so but didn't watch the full movie until last year😅 I'm having a lot of fun with it though since I've of course grown and developed through these past few years and have now more knowledge in general, more experience on how to do research and also a more reflective and mature thinking. Of course not all historic/history-inspired media is accurate (and I don't think it has to be for every purpose, like Hogan's Heroes is still incredibly funny even if the timeline doesn't always makes sense or ranks and uniforms don't match up). But I think it can be a great starting point for getting interested in a specific person or event and then delving into more detailed research about it.
I've also added some newer ones though that I didn't know about back then, or that didn't even exist yet. The list is really a great help for organising my brain. I've also started to add in things not related to history though (like Arcane - I still haven't watched season 2 rip - or The Dragon Prince). I wasn't sure if I should make a separate list for them but at least for now I just threw everything together in one. It helps a lot especially for series because I try to always write down which season and episode I'm at (I just didn't include that column in the screenshot) because sometimes I get distracted by something else and don't continue for a while and then forget where I was at😭
This was just a bit of random babbling but like this is kinda what I've been up to. I haven't actually continued on that many things in a while because I was too stressed with university, but I hope to continue soon. Also if you have more recommendations you're welcome to let me know👀 I'm currently mostly interested in the World Wars (there's so much to be learned about both but I think I really want to broaden my knowledge on WWI), the Weimar Republic/interwar period in general (also Austrian interwar history of course but to be honest I don't know if there's actually ANY movies on that), but also pre-WWI Austria-Hungary and the German Empire and like generally the 18th/19th/20th century (other countries too of course, but with these two I have many historical sites basically in front of my door, and as a native speaker a lot of primary sources are also relatively easy accessible to me). There is so much interesting stuff in history as a whole (I love watching historical documentaries about like any time period or country, there's always something fascinating to learn), these are just the ones I'm most focused on at the moment and want to study in a bit more detail!
#I don't know if I'll post a lot about it but like maybe a little bit! at least those historical media that are more heavily fictionalised#of course this doesn't mean I'm abandoning self shipping or other fandoms in any way#but I've always used my blog for more than just one specific topic or interest and will continue to do so#and sometimes there are even ways to intertwine them like I love imagining infodumping on my f/os and telling them obscure history facts!!#I just really love being passionate about things!#I also want to get more into historical costuming (I already enjoy 'regular' cosplay even though i barely have one finished costume😂)#but I also love learning about the crafting techniques people used back then#I actually started working on an 18th century dress last year but still have barely finished the underdress rip#hope to pick it up again because I really miss sewing!#it's the patterning and planning that stresses me out so much but the actual sewing part (especially by hand) can be so calming actually#but i digress#I'm not actually sure where I was going with this whole post I just wanted to talk about interests#history#historical fiction#selnia talks
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Akiteru spider-man au!!
#my art#i am not sure if i'll draw anything much for this but i've been talking about it to my friend recently and i love the idea so#you may see more of him#but also i have So many different things i want to draw so you may never see anything for this again#haikyuu#haikyuu fanart#tsukishima akiteru#tsukishima akiteru fanart#spiderman au#haikyuu spiderman au#< i'll use that if i add more to this#haikyu!!#haikyu!! fanart#fave#i know it's my art but i love how it looks a lot actually so#:pp#okay cool epic two posts in one go wow#hopefully more will follow because i really miss posting them#bye <3
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