#i've met 5 of these individuals

[nerdygaymormon]

Gather Conference

This looks like it will be very good! It is for LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and those who love them. September 15-16th in Provo, Utah.

I’m really impressed at the group of people they have involved in this.

Here is a list of presenters:

Steve Young - famous football player, stood against Prop 8 in California and for the LDS Church being more loving & inclusive of the LGBTQ community

Darius Gray - a Black man who joined the LDS Church in 1964, one of the first Black students at BYU, one of the founders of the Genesis Group, involved in the "Race and the Priesthood" essay, a supporter of LGBTQ rights and the church expanding to fully include them 

Charlie Bird - gained fame as the BYU mascot Cosmo the Cougar who publicly came out as gay, author of the books “Behind the Mask” and “Expanding the Borders of Zion”, co-hosts the podcast Questions from the Closet, is an active LDS church member and public about having a boyfriend

Ben Schilaty - co-hosts the podcast Questions from the Podcast with Charlie Bird, they are the two most well-known gay men still active in the LDS Church. Ben wrote the book “A Walk in My Shoes: Questions I'm Often Asked as a Gay Latter-day Saint”, and works for the BYU Honor Code Office

Tom Christofferson - older brother of the LDS apostle Todd Christofferson. Is best known for leaving his long-time partner in order to rejoin the LDS Church and writing “That We My Be One: A Gay Mormon's Perspective on Faith and Family”, then publicly announced that he has begun dating

Allison Dayton - is founder of Lift+Love which seeks to provide a positive, uplifting space for LGBTQIA+ LDS church members and their families & friends

Liv Mendoza Haynes - best known from the 2021 BYU Women's Conference when Sharon Eubank presented her and Liv announced she is queer and that she once left the LDS Church but returned and shared the story of a bishop who made her feel welcome and asked how to make the ward a safe space. Liv is married to a husband and is a busy mom

Meghan Decker - is married to a husband, loves being a grandma, but she also is attracted to women, wrote the book “Tender Leaves of Hope: Finding Belonging as LGBTQ Latter-day Saint Women”

Michael Soto - a trans man who grew up LDS and spent the last 25 years being an advocate for LGBTQ+ rights, including co-founding the Equality and Fairness Coalition, former CEO of Equality Arizona, and now is Chief Advocacy Officer for One Community

Iese Wilson - best known for his work of building bridges at BYU-Hawaii, where he publicly came out gay. His efforts include co-founding Hawaii’s first LDS LGBTQ+ support group off campus for students and staff of BYU-H, helped create and host the first LGBTQ+ fireside on the BYUH campus, and offered the first LGBTQ+ awareness training for the Guest Services Department at the Polynesian Cultural Center

Richard Ostler - host of the podcast Listen, Learn and Love and author of two books, “Listen, Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” and “Listen, Learn and Love: Improving Latter-Day Saint Culture”

These individuals aren’t listed as presenting at the Gather Conference, but are shown to be involved in some way:

Bree Borrowman - a science teacher in Bountiful, UT who transitioned during the pandemic and provides a safe space for students, co-hosts the Lift+Love Adult Gender Identity support group. Bree is an active member of the LDS Church and is helping her stake and ward move towards being more inclusive & accepting

Jess Case - a clinical psychologist who identifies as gay and is married to a woman, an active member of the LDS Church. His work focuses on helping youth and adults feel safe in their communities and suicide prevention

Clare Dalton -  a seminary teacher and CES employee. She came out as lesbian in 2021 and is open about her faith, her orientation, and her career as a way to exemplify that Christ meant everyone when He said, “Come, follow me” 

John Gustav-Wrathel - Was raised LDS, married his husband, raised children, and then decided to return to church where because he is excommunicated he attends each week as a visitor. He is a former president of Affirmation and co-founded Emmaus LGBTQ Ministry which aims to works for the safety, well-being and happiness of LGBTQ people in and adjacent to the LDS Church

Ally Isom - a public affairs professional who has worked for LDS Church as head of global branding, in 2021 ran against Senator Mike Lee to be the  Republican nominee for senate, known for her work for gender equity. In 2017 she helped the church restructure the mormonandgay website by changing the language to be less divisive and to include videos of queer members sharing their stories. She works to improve understanding between the Church and the LGBTQ community

Erika Munson - in 2012 she co-founded Mormons Building Bridges which is most famous for having LDS people dressed in their Sunday best march in Pride parades, and in 2019 co-founded Emmaus LGBTQ Ministry which provides affirming monthly devotionals and events to LGBTQ people and their families in and adjacent to the LDS Church

Austin Peterson - a gay member of the LDS Church who works in IT at BYU and serves in a bishopric

Jordan Sharp - VP of Marketing & Communication at Utah Tech University, active member of the LDS Church, and father of a gay son. Jordan wrote a Facebook post about the LDS Church needing to be more loving and accepting of LGBTQ individuals

David Smurthwaite - co-hosts the Lift+Love Adult Gender Identity support group, identifies as gender expansive, active member of the LDS Church, married to a wife and is father to 4 children

[fridayyy-13th]

i am feeling So Many Things at the moment but mostly i just feel like a disaster

[astrobydalia]

Numerology observations

I've genuinely learned a lot from @novy2sirius when it comes to numerology so much so that it has helped me make so much sense out of many experience in my life. Therefore I wanted to share some numerology observations with all of you.

astrobydalia

People with 9 energy are so deceitful, they are easily seen as innocent. On the contrary people can see 9s as someone pretty suspicious because they have an air of mystery to them and are the kind of person who you think you know but actually you don't like at all. They always hide the most BIZARRE shit, I'm telling you their life is SO weird. This is how I see 9 people tbh lmao

I've never met a 11 life path person that was emotionally okay, but the weird thing is that they tend to want to lie to themselves and pretend they are okay all the time. All the ones that've met had diagnosed depression and spent big chunks of their lives in very VERY low lows like it's truly hard to watch. Also, random note but I've seen that they are secretly very resentful too and have a hard time letting go of things and moving on. Most of the 11 people I've met had Earth Moon or strong Saturn influence in their moon

Also, I met a 11 guy once who would often say "I have no doubt in my mind that I will be famous" lol (11 is rated to fame)

22 is a more chill number. I've seen more developed 22s than developed 11s. 22 people are very mature and level-headed, tend to have very balanced mindset for most things. However they tend to think they're the only ones who know best, they give good advice but suck at taking any.

So one of the things Novy said is that the date you meet someone in will be a significant energy in the relationship you have with them. Every person I've met on a 5 day are people I travel a lot with or people I've had long-distance relationships with (5 is related travel)

I don't have much experience with 2 energy but from what I've seen it is pretty mellow energy. The people with 2 energy are pretty harmless individuals even when they have other intense energies going on

I get along with 7 life path people cause I'm a 5 but something I've noticed about these people is that they really do struggle making genuine connections "from the heart" if that makes sense. They always rationalize getting in and out of a relationship giving more importance to practical/beneficial reasons rather than emotional ones. When they do try to follow their heart they fail miserably cause they confuse making decisions from their heart with total recklessness

Life path 1 people are so.... immature. And have very obvious anger issues. They have the patience and emotional regulation of a toddler, really do embody the Aries stereotype. At their worst they can be pretty intolerant towards other's pov. Yeah life path 1 is very passionate and driven and all and I do get along with them but I also tend to keep at arms length a little cause they're energy is very chaotic and destructive tbh

Let me tell you too that unhealthy life path 1 people are one of the most CRUEL and mean people I've ever seen like... it's giving blood lust (not literally but you know what I mean)

Life path 6 can indeed be caring and generous but I've met a lot of them who are actually very selfish, greedy and materialistic. It's like they see life mostly through the lens of material gain. They literally remind me of this clip fr.

I have good experience with 6 people tho. My manager for example is a 6 life path and I literally don't know what I'd do without him, he's so patient, always there when I need him and is always on my side even when I mess up. 6 people are also very good at setting healthy boundaries too

A lot of the life path 6 I've met had taurus placements or where earth doms astrologically

The number I struggle getting along with the most is 4 tbh. They are huge party poppers even when they're healthy and have more need for control than 8s imo. A lot of 4 people I know are the type to rain on your parade for no reason in the name of being "realistic" but really they're just being bitter imo. I know 4 people have a hard life but I've noticed they tend to often have this attitude of "if I couldn't be happy then you can't either"

What I've noticed with 8 people is that yes they can be controlling but it's not like they go around policing others like 4s do. 8s control in a very subtle and indirect way, it really reminds me a lot of scorpio energy/8th house placements. It's more like they keep in control in any situation by staying low-key and are the kind of people that is hard to knock down, yet they know how to get under other's skin

I'd describe 8s as more domineering. They can be pretty chill, fun and won't mess with anyone as long as they feel like they have the upper hand in situations. That's why they are stubborn af and refuse to be wrong and why they do not react well AT ALL to animosity. This also means that at their worst tend to have HUGE superiority complex and will minimize others and be condescending just to feel superior

One time I witnessed an argument between a 1 and an 8 (it was messy) and even tho the 8 person was wrong imo they made the 1 person back down eventually (which, if you know how 1s are, that's a huge thing) and from that experience I learned that you're better off disagreeing with a 1 than disagreeing with an 8

People with 3 energy have such a refreshing energy I love them!!!! The type to keep a young spirit regardless of their age but like in a good way. Their sense of hope and optimism can't be crushed, all the ones I've met were the kind of people who always knew how to bounce back from difficult situations.

astrobydalia

[astrosamara]

Astrology Observations #5

🩵Venus conjunct Pluto have relationships in their lives that are very personally transformative for them. Their past lovers can also become very obsessed with them or vice versa. There can be power struggles and imbalances in relationships as well.

🩵Moon opposite Mars are very quick and prone to anger when they're feeling personally targeted or if their feelings get hurt. They can struggle a lot with irritability and getting annoyed frequently.

🩵The house Neptune is in can show the area of your life you frequently fantasize about, but can struggle making those fantasies a reality. There's a sense of illusion here, something you can't quite grasp and bring into reality.

🩵On the other hand, you can have a very strong sense of realism in the house Saturn is in. You're more disciplined and strict with yourself in this area, and with patience and maturity, you bring in more practical and positive results into your life over time.

🩵I've met so many Mars in Taurus that are super laid back and go with the flow type of people, but can become very intimidating to be around when they show signs of anger. It also takes a lot to make them angry.

🩵When Uranus transits over one of your angles, profound and sudden life altering change happens. Unlike Saturn, who restricts what it touches, Uranus disrupts. The positive or negative quality of the change really depends on the rest of your chart and transits. For example, I've noticed many celebrities who've experienced fame when Uranus went over their MC.

🩵Positive Pluto and Mercury aspects have very deep and thoughtful minds. They can have a strong interest in psychology and they really enjoy deep conversations with others. They don't shy away from the darker aspects of life.

🩵Libra Suns are very adaptable in group dynamics, so much so that their individual personalities don't shine as much when around others. Their focus is more on being perceived as friendly and likeable. I've found it hard to really get to know Libra's.

🩵Aries Venuses are so bold when they have a crush on someone. They tend to want to move quickly and don't have time for games. They know what they want and they go after it. This energy can come on too strong for some people though.

🩵Taurus, Libra, and Pisces Venuses are people that really love love. Being in a relationship is something that's really important for them and they're very romantic people. Also, men with these placements tend to attract a lot of attention from women because they can sense this softer side of them.

🩵Every Taurus friend I had growing up went through a horse girl phase lol. They tend to just really love animals and feel a spiritual connection to them in general. Also some of the kindest and most generous friends I've had. They're so down to earth. I love Taurus' lol.

🩵People who have any of their big 3 in your 1st house are the ones who make a very strong first impression on you. There's just something about their presence you find memorable and compelling. My memories of first encounters with people who have their big 3 in my 1st house always stand out to me the most compared to other people.

🩵Sagittarius moons are great story tellers. There's something special and entertaining about the way they perceive their lives and the lives of others. Their optimistic attitude makes them so fun to be around. They make great teachers as well.

🩵Chiron in the 2nd house can have great fear surrounding their personal finances. They can also heavily tie their self worth into how much money they make. Either very frugal or overspending on things they don't need, they struggle to have a healthy relationship with money.

[notmuchtofind]

"you're doing a sex scene?!" | d.s

word count: 1.8k

tw: mentions of manipulation and aggressive behaviour

synopsis: drew reveals his role requires a sex scene and this causes explosive disagreements | slight fluff slight aggressive

you place the bag groceries on the kitchen counter and begin a sigh of relief, the lift in your apartment block is broken and climbing 5 flights of stairs with 3 bags of groceries isn't so fun..

As you walk over to your hallway to kick off your shoes you hear a few thuds at the door, in a beat you're so familiar with. You were expecting Drew around 9ish, you quickly check your watch to see it's 8:47pm... you giggle to yourself slightly and grin with excitement "he's early" you mumble to yourself . A wave of eagerness rushes over you as you lean over to grab the door handle and twist the recently locked door. opening the door, you look up to see Drew, all sun kissed and beaming. He's been in South Carolina for a couple months shooting the latest season of obx so it doesn't surprise you to see his slight tan, you'd imagine he's topless half the time, so it explains itself...

"baby!" he exclaimed with a devilish yet blissful look on his face

"I've missed you!" you say whilst being engulfed into a hug by drew, you feel his arms wrap around you, becoming tighter with time as you stand there swaying back and forth for a while... He places his hands on you shoulders and pushes you back slightly so he can begin to look at your face.

He places a kiss on your forehead "i've missed you y/n/n" he mutters, he looks almost taken back by you, as he makes eye contact, forcing nerves into the pit of your stomach.

"trust you to come 5 minutes after I've just had to carry all the groceries up the stairs by myself!" you tease 

"work those muscles baby" he chuckles

After a few long weeks of being away from each other it's nice to be back in each other's company, Drew helps you put the groceries away and you quickly hop in the shower, you change into your trackies and settle on the couch with Drews head in-between your legs. you run your hands over his buzz cut hair, feeling the individual strands poking at your palm whilst you binge watch.

"hey y/n/n" 

"mmhm?" you murmur

"i've been meaning to mention...I think, maybe, like the next season of outer banks; rafe develops a love interest and I... um-" 

you're suddenly all ears "a love interest?" you interrupt, sitting up slightly, causing Drew to sit up so he's now facing you on the couch.

"yeh, I think so?" said with slight tension

" but I think Jonas is wanting a few urm...like, a few" he stutters and your eyes widen "some sex scenes between me and Fiona..." He paused as you gave him a slight glance

"You know Fiona, right? you met her when you came to visit me shooting last month?" he questions

Yes, of course you know Fiona, is he kidding!?? she's gorgeous, she's bubbly and she's funny she's-...

'fuck, am I jealous?' you think too yourself

"umm, yeh Fiona, she was really nice when I met her" you state through gritted teeth

drew chuckles nervously "I just thought I should let you know...I mean obviously it's all professional but you know... I-"

"No, don't be silly, I know drew. It's your job. I expect it...obviously " you say, getting up off the couch and heading over to the open plan kitchen...'did that come off slightly passive aggressive?' you think too yourself.

Drew leans back into the couch, watching you from afar, you can feel his eyes burning into your back as you grab a glass from the cupboard.

you're aware it's his job, but surely anyone in this position would feel slightly jealous, he's going to have to act intimate with someone and it's then going to be seen by the rest of the world, you're unaware of how sex scenes operate...how far will it have to go and how much skin will be seen?! uncontrollable thoughts run through your mind, you find yourself questioning the love Drew has for you. Are you good enough? Will an on screen romance become an off screen one? In all fairness, Drew and the cast spend more time together within the 6 months of filming than you and Drew do within that 6 months alone...you feel yourself snap.

by snap I don't mean scream, nor shout, nor cry. 

However, there is a slightly toxic side to you, one which is created by past relationships, people that have made you feel less than. Before you met drew, you'd been through some shit and it's always been difficult for you to trust...you're subconsciously 'triggered'

" She's pretty right?" you say, turning to Drew and catching his eyes with yours.

you stand there with an empty glass on the counter as you wait for his response.

"umm.." he stutters, taken back by your question

"she's a nice girl y/n/n...why?"

you nod slowly, pouring a drink into the glass..."yeh,she's a nice girl" you repeat, again, through gritted teeth

Drew squints his eyes over at you as he tries to figure out what your trying to do..."listen baby, its professional, you can't-"

"I can't what?" you interrupt with a slightly raised voice 

There was a silence that filled the room.

"I'm going to bed," you murmur as you grab your glass off the counter and take your first step towards your bedroom.

"y/n/n?" drew exclaimes, but you ignore him

"fuck sake" you hear drew mutters under his breath, followed by a sigh as he tilts his head back into the couch. 

Darting your head over to his direction, you interrogate.

"Am I too much for you?" you exclaim 

"what?" drew says confused whilst frowning "no y/n I-"

you interrupted "so why are you making me feel like you dealing with my emotions is a chore?!" 

"Yes, I'm slightly pissed off drew. but there's nothing I can do about it. just let me have some time, don't sigh at me like I'm so difficult for you?" you say, raising your voice slightly more. He stands up and raises his hands slightly in-front of his chest whilst he gestures "are you fucking kidding me?" he chuckles sarcastically. "I've hardly said a word this whole time, you're being manipulative y/n. stop?" he demands 

"manipulative? drew? really?" 

Drew walks over to you, and you can now see slight anger in his eyes, his energy feels cold. 

"yes!" he exclaims, he comes close to your face and continues to gesture "asking me if I think she's pretty? What kind of question is that? you're trying to catch me out y/n?!" he lashes

"I was just asking you a question drew I-"

"are you fucking kidding me!? you want me to turn around and tell you that, yeh! yanno what, I cant wait to fuck her!? is that what you want? please tell me y/n '' drew shouts.

you're taken back by his aggressive body language and his raised voice and the words he's just spoken. you can feel slight tears forming in the back of your retina, the ball in your stomach grows bigger and you can feel your heartbeat in your fingertips. You're not usto arguing with Drew so explosively, you're not used to seeing his aggressive body language and if you're honest, it scared you. you could either lash out, you could scream...but you're suddenly engulfed by a wave of upset.

"I'm going to bed" you state. turning on the balls of your feet to continue to walk down the hall. A single tear escapes your eye but you're waiting to reach the bathroom before you can let all your emotions overwhelm your being. you didn't give yourself time to see the expression on Drews face after he'd stopped shouting but you didn't have to look to tell that he instantly regretted what he said, you could feel his energy change as you walked away.

_________________

you've turned to face the wall, struggling to sleep when...A few thuds at your bedroom door, in the beat you're again, so familiar with. you haven't been able to fall asleep and to be honest you were hoping Drew would knock and come in, he knows you hate sleeping without resolving an argument. it could be the biggest argument or the smallest argument you've ever had but you always make sure to have it somewhat sorted out before either of you say goodnight, whether he's 3000 miles away or just next door.

"hey y/n/n" drew whispers as you heard the door shut quietly behind him but you didn't turn around. "hey...are you sleeping?" he questions before you feel the bed slightly dip and a creak from the headboard.

It takes you a minute  but you eventually turn around, to be greeted by the back of Drew, he looks to have his head in his hands sitting on the edge of the bed. "I'm awake" you mutter.

He turns slightly, greeting you with an apologetic smile, he then goes to grab your exposed arm and rubs it with his thumb. his energy is warm and calm, much different too before. it makes the nerves form again in the pit of your stomach, like butterflies. "Listen baby" he states "I'm sorry about the shit I said and urm... the way I raised my voice. my actions were out of order and for that i'm sorry..." he sighs apologetically 

There was a slight silence whilst you thought of what to say, but before you could speak he began again "you know I love you? right? It upsets me that you worry about my opinions on anyone else because, I'm sorry but, in my mind no one compares to you y/n/n, I honestly do think you are. thé. most." drew emphasises "perfect girl in the world for me" he finishes, looking at you with a devilish grin 

he knows how to capture your heart...you roll your eyes playfully trying to shy away from the fact he's made you weak... whilst a smile creeps upon your face you push his arm and chuckle slightly.

you sigh.

"i'm sorry about my outburst, it was out of order" you admit "I was slightly jealous and I-"

"only slightly?!" drew says with a sarcastic shocked faces as he interrupts you, playfully teasing

"fuck off" you chuckle, pushing his arm

"Yes, it's because everyone wants you...what can I say, it's hard being me!" rolling your eyes, teasing him back

He engulfs you into a hug and plants kisses all over your face and neck, almost like he's attacking you. you giggle and say stop, but really you need him to carry on. 

"fuck! I love you drew" 

"fuck... I love you" he reiterates.

[writingwithfolklore]

Relationships and Closeness

              There’s two kinds of relationships in a story—the bond your characters have with each other, and the bond the reader has with your characters. Try to push the relationship to levels of vulnerability too fast, too soon and both types will come off as forced or stiff.

              Luckily, there’s a helpful tool for categorizing what ‘stage’ of closeness people have with each other from communications theory, but I think could also be used for writing. It’s called (and stick with me here), the social penetration theory. (Cue that Pitch Perfect gif)

              The stages (generally) go as follows:

1. Orientation

This stage is basic, safe information you might initially share with a stranger. Name, age, maybe pronouns, where you’re from, where you go to school or work, etc.

2. Exploratory affective

This is likes and dislikes, some preferences, and other safe opinions. You’re probably not getting into politics too much yet, but you might share which class is your favourite, what you think about where you live, etc. Typically opinions you’d think are unlikely to offend the other person.

3. Affective

This stage sounds like it is—an increase in affection! This can look like making jokes or goofing around together, sharing goals and aspirations, and generally being a bit more familiar. Typically your work friends or peers get to this stage, and unless you hang out with them outside of work/school, (in my experience) they stay at this stage too.

4. Stable

You start to get more comfortable and share more personal details. Religious/political affiliation, sexuality, sometimes family details and other things about your inner life are shared here.

5. Depenetration (ew)

This stage is the last and the most vulnerable. This is where you share deeply held fears, fantasies, traumas, mental health, and other deeply personal details. Can include your own concept of self, or conversations that go into that depth of individual humanity—what makes you, you on a fundamental level?

              Some relationships stop at an earlier level than others, but that doesn’t make them less strong. Have you ever met someone where you don’t really know all that much about them, but you’d still stick up for them against anything? Versus someone you’ve known forever and you’ve shared all your insecurities with, but you still might prefer to hang out with someone else on your birthday.

              These stages are a guideline, not a rule, to how people tend to interact and the order of which they tend to share with each other. That doesn’t mean that people won’t jump to one stage before another—just that it can sometimes be unreciprocated, or feel a bit uncomfortable. It all depends on the situation and the people within it.

              However, it can be helpful to use these guidelines as a guide to what to share and when in your writing. Right away, you’d probably tell readers your main character’s name before their deepest trauma—or maybe not, maybe you’d establish your character with that openness to the reader right off the bat. What’s important is that you determine what level your character is at with others, and with the reader, and move through them with intention.

              I hope this makes sense!

[souenkun]

Larry's random conversarion lines 🍙

Pokémon Masters EX spoilers ahead!

Random conversation 1:

Ever since I met a certain individual, I now find myself gazing up at the sky every once in a while. There's scenery you'll never even notice if you stick to flat, well-trodden paths. Just something I've observed. I don't dislike the vast, clear sky... But I don't think I can reach it. It's nice to know that there's something like that out there, though.

Random conversation 2:

Pasio seems to have many good restaurants. Ah, I'm not asking for specific recommendations, though... I actually enjoy walking around and looking for a place I might like. That's part of the experience. I seek the exceptional only when it comes to food. Pasio has a variety of cuisines to choose from, so it's hard to stick to just one.

Random conversation 3:

(Player), which do you tend to favor: the exceptional or the average? I was thinking of inviting you to have a meal sometime. Casually figuring out your client's preferences is a special skill that you learn as a salaried employee.

Random conversation 4:

Lunchtime is one of the few things that a salaried employee like me can look forward to at work... We can decide whether to spend that precious time eating something familiar or trying out a new restaurant. It's not just about the meal. The decision-making process leading up to it is also something to look forward to.

Random conversation 5:

People, Pokémon... There's no need to overcomplicate things. Nowadays people only seem to want a shock factor. Something weird, something bizarre. When all's said and done, simplicity is strongest.

Random conversation 6:

You don't necessarily have to follow every instruction from your boss. But I pretend to follow them, at least, so I can avoid hassles later on. That's a technique you can use to get by in the workplace. Keep it in mind.

Random conversation 7:

I'm here in this famous tourist spot, but I can't really spread my wings while my boss has her eye on me. I guess I'll do what I usually do on my lunch break and find a spot to Roost...

[astroeleanor]

🪷🫧🪞Neptunian Relationships in Astrology: Destined Connections🪞🫧🪷

If you have heavy pisces placements, 12H planets, or neptune aspects in your chart you may often attract Neptunian relationships in your life. The connection feels destined & serendipitous, it’s one you feel on a soul level. You & your partner might dream of each other a lot. You may even think about them & they end up texting you or calling you soon after. When you’re together you say the same things, as if you’re reading each other’s minds

The telepathic element of your connection comes from Neptune’s rulerships over psychic abilities & heightened sensitivity to the unseen realms of consciousness.

A Neptunian connection feels fated. There are a lot of synchronicities drawing you towards your significant other & that you experience while you’re together. Things feel magical & meeting each other feels destined. That’s one of the MAIN components to consider. Around the time that you met each other, you or your partner might’ve had a spiritual awakening. There's an otherworldly quality to your connection, as if you are bound together by threads of destiny and divine timing.

There's also a sense of oneness between you & your SO, as if your souls are merging with each other, as if you are one and the same. You feel unconditional love & empathy towards your person and vice versa. You’re willing to sacrifice everything for each other.

Sacrifice is a Neptunian theme. Neptune is associated with the dissolution of boundaries and the merging of individual awareness with universal consciousness. In this context, sacrifice can be seen as a symbolic act of surrendering the self for a greater cause or ideal, often associated with spiritual values & spirituality.

At the same time, setting boundaries & maintaining your individuality is a huge lesson you are meant to learn in a Neptunian relationship. One of the risks of these connections is losing yourself, where you stand & who you are due to Neptune’s elusive nature.

how do you know if you are in a Neptunian relationship? here are some key factors & considerations to take into account:

1. Pull up your and your partner’s synastry chart.

2. Look for aspects such as conjunctions, squares, oppositions, or trines involving one person's Neptune and another person's personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars) or important points (Ascendant, Descendant, Midheaven, IC).

3. In modern astrology, Neptune is the ruling planet of Pisces, so if you & your partner have personal planets in Pisces, natal neptune aspects, planets in the 12th house as well as 12th house synastry, you may be in a Neptunian relationship.

4. Use a 0°-5° orb when looking at synastry and natal aspects involving Neptune.

5. While harmonious aspects (trine, sextile) involving Neptune can indicate intense but constructive dynamics in the relationship, challenging aspects such as squares and oppositions, or even conjunctions may suggest more turbulent and potentially volatile dynamics. These aspects can indicate deception, a lack of boundaries, themes of disillusionment, and the need to become a separate individual outside of the relationship.

[bucketofpaint]

#5

The last of criminals were being loaded up to be taken away.

"Meet at the base. We need to talk about something." Robin informed the team.

The team was all together at Mount Justice watching as Robin typed furiously on a computer, mumbling to himself.

"Hey Rob, what you'd want to talk about again?" Wally asked.

Robin stopped typing and stood up. "During the mission me and Artemis were helped out from a super powered individual."

"Another hero?" Kaldur asked.

"I doubt it, I've been searching everywhere for any information, but I got nothing."

"What did they look like?"

"They had white hair and green eyes."

Connor and Wally's eyes widened.

"Did he by chance glow?"

"Yeah..why?" Robin asked, narrowing his eyes.

" I may have met him before." Wally said, avoiding eye contact."

"You met him before! When!"

"Uh, do you remember my solo mission a little while ago?

Robin just glared.

" Well, i'vemighthavegottencapturedandhewastheonetosaveme."

"And you didn't tell anyone!"

"In my defense, I had a concussion."

"Okay, anyone else met this person and didn't say anything?"

Connor sheepishly raised his hand.

Robin signed, "When?"

"During the rescue mission."

----

Danny was miserable. Tucker had asked him, 'Hey Danny, want me to enroll you in school?' And sure Danny liked school. He got pretty good grades before phantom, and he would definitely have plenty of time. So he stupidly said yes, and now he was suffering. He had forgotten about the english essay that was due the next day.

Danny couldn't think. His mind wouldn't stop wondering about the events from before. Why would regular thugs have those guns? Whatever it was, it looked like Danny would be interacting with Baby Justice more. Danny groaned.

[starmosaics]

Natal Sun square Uranus

I have this aspect in my chart and it's one of the most challenging ones I have so here's some things I've piled up from my own experience with this aspect and how its manifested within other people's charts;

Those with a Sun square Uranus aspect often experience a strong need for personal freedom and originality. This aspect gives one a drive to break away from the conventional road and way of living to forge something that is uniquely their own. As a result, conformity can feel uncomfortable and frustrating for these individuals. Most people with this aspect feel very drawn to seek out radical and original experiences, often finding themselves fighting against societal expectations and standards. These folks are not seeking conventionality, they're seeking radical and original experiences.

Because of this they can feel out of place a lot of the time. Their takes and opinions may be very outlandish to others because of their free thinking abilities. They may feel like the odd one out, feel like they stick out like a sore thumb, feel like they do not quite fit in, or feel like an outsider within in their environment. Sun-Uranus folks have a very hard time accepting their differences and the things that make them unique at first. Because of their crave for unorthodox experiences, this can lead to feelings of alienation. This can be particularly challenging when their innovative ideas or unconventional approaches are met with resistance or misunderstanding from others. Their sense of not belonging can become a battle within themselves, which could lead to suppressing their unique traits in an attempt to gain acceptance in worst case scenario. They can also end up pretending to be someone they’re not because of rejection from society/others.

This can make one a rule-breaker, an inventor, risk taker, a contrarian, defiant, a rebellion, scientist, alchemist, villain, etc. These people will refuse to do something if it goes against their beliefs or is unethical to them; they can be incredibly set in their own ways. They tend to do things with a different approach that works for them which tends to piss others off, especially those who like control. Often needing to do things differently than the common person, they may purposely take the harder route and go against the grain. This resistance to approach things in a conventional way can be liberating, but can also lead to conflicts and a lack of compromise with those who take more traditional approaches. People usually have a hard time figuring out those who have this aspect.

Those with a Sun-Uranus aspect thrive on innovation and variety. They are unpredictable and hate being told what to do. Their open-mindedness make them willing to try almost anything as they view most things an experience to learn and expand. Nothing feels normal to these folks. Sun-Uranus people are the types to act first, think later. They're also frequently changing things about themselves internally and externally. If stuck in one place for too long, they tend to feel restricted and restless.

Famous people who possess this aspect include; Doja Cat, Dennis Rodman, Elon Musk, RuPaul, Sky Ferreira, Mitski, Grimes, and Frida Kahlo. These people are known for their unconventional lives, innovative ideas, unique/distinctive styles, and refusal to conform to societal norms.

Some scenarios a Sun-Uranus person might experience:

Not trying at all in school because they know it won't be relevant to their future aspirations.

People having to compromise with them a lot because they tend to want to do things their own way.

Leaving their 9-5 job because they got tired of the same day-to-day tasks.

Facing issues in their personal relationships because of lack of communication.

Doing the opposite of what someone wants them to do because they don't like being ordered around.

Getting up and leaving one day without telling anyone because they felt trapped being in one space.

Deciding to do something last minute, neglecting their responsibilities.

Having issues with their bosses or other authority members.

Challenging rules and those of authority because they might believe certain rules don't apply to them.

Waking up one day and deciding they want to completely change their appearance/ways of living.

Creating a trademark for themselves whether it's through fashion, music, art, etc.

[youremyheaven]

Vedic astrology observations

1. I've noticed that many real life events coincide with one's natal chart. For example, if you have Venus in Swati, you could be attracted to someone with Swati big 3 (or it's yoni consort, Hasta) or you could potentially meet a partner when the Moon is in Swati or during transits over your Venus.

2. i think some people have a belief that finding someone whose moon nakshatra is your moon nakshatra's yoni consort is some sort of sign of a soulmate connection but that's not necessarily the case. it does create interesting chemistry but it's not the ultimate benchmark by any means.

3. if you want to learn more about your nakshatras please study it's mythology. i think that's the best starting point. too many people obsess over their divisional charts and what not. all of that comes later. start with the story.

4. venusians attracting other venusians is soo real. venus truly creates exclusivity & a kind of elitism. invented high standards period.

5. elephant yoni people are the biggest freaks for real. never met a bharani or a revati who wasn't completely freaky and sexual.

6. rahu girls may have hypnotic eyes but have you seen the eyes on a girl with serpent yoni? BEWITCHING

7. sidereal geminis embody duality like nobody else. the hardest people to figure out. involved yet detached. sexual yet frigid. close yet distant.

8. ardras are those cancers that are way too realistic and thus prone to pessimism meanwhile punarvasus are the delusional yet happy ones.

9. the larger the yoni animal, the more confident and naturally at ease an individual is. similar to how things are in nature, smaller animals constantly live in fear of attack. every rat yoni person i know has anxiety. meanwhile the lion yoni/elephant yoni person i know has balls made of steel

[waitmyturtles]

I am here to complain a bit about Jack & Joker (and apologies, because I'm going to make an inevitable comparison to Kidnap at the end of this post), so this post might be triggering for you (consider yourself warned, some of y'all don't read TWs!) But if you wanna hear some constructive criticism about director Tee Bundit's intriguing storytelling choices for this show, then come with me....

... because there's a lot about this show thematically that would usually sit right with me, namely its heavy focus on family.

Thanks to @veemark, we got a deep-dive into the wedding symbolism of last week's Lunar New Year celebration. I can feel that! Joke is clearly deeply touched to finally be a part of a family -- which is ever more meaningful, considering his brutal rejection by his own blood father in this week's episode.

And there are so, so many more family (and wedding) themes (in non-chronological order):

1) Tattoo's mom taking in both Tattoo and Hoy 2) Boss rejecting his own son, Arun, and adopting Jack (to then use Jack for his own financial gain) 3) The community that Ah Mah has built around her, from taking Joke in, to the little girls she hosts 4) Jack losing his parents and being raised by Ah Mah 5) Arun finding new family with Tattoo 6) Understanding how family ties runs the criminal underground of Bangkok 7) All of the ring symbolism, from Jack getting his parents' ring back, to rings being used as power symbols for the aforementioned criminal underground -- a theme I LOVE, actually, because strength in numbers in society always means more power for those individuals, including for couples that get married (INCLUDING FOR COUPLES THAT WILL BE ABLE TO LEGALLY WED IN JANUARY IN THAILAND AND WILL BE ELIGIBLE FOR SPOUSAL PRIVILEGES, EEEE!)

So many family themes going on in this show. I love it! I love the indication that when Jack and Joke first met years ago, that there could have been a frisson of potential family between them, two guys meeting at a bar and connecting.

AND, I ALSO love the themes of family fucking each other over. Because families aren't perfect! Not by a long shot. Families can truly suck towards each other. Boss to Arun. Save (FUCKING SAVE, YOU DICK) to Jack. Joke's dad to Joke, all of his life. If we're talking potential family from back in the past, then of course -- Joke fucking over Jack, the issue that started this series.

What's not working for me in this series, though, is that somewhere along this trajectory, director Tee Bundit got too caught up in liberally sprinkling these otherwise excellent themes throughout the show (really, much to my joy, because I otherwise love these themes) without offering emotional build or context to our two main characters. There are other connectivity issues to this show, but this is my main gripe.

Now, I've had an up-and-down relaysh with Tee Bundit's work. I hated TharnType, I HATED Step By Step, I ADORED Lovely Writer, I LOVED I Feel You Linger In The Air. We're teetering on Step By Step-territory here in Jack & Joker by the way that Tee seems to be gunshy about giving romance -- which needs to be the cornerstone of an ostensible romance BL -- time to breathe and develop.

We have jumped from an inferred wedding banquet last week, to tired spousey-spousey dinners this week, with hubs ripping off his tie and apologizing to his househubs about not finishing his plate.

Not to say I need to see the boing! I don't need boing to contextualize romance. What I need to contextualize romance is to see these two falling in love, before their marriage got tired and problematic!

Like. I was watching these dinner scenes, and I'm... trying to parse what's happening at the table. Jack is getting screwed time and time again by poverty. It's brutal. Is Tee saying here that love is an impossibility in the context of poverty?

(I don't know that Jack says that about love, per se, in his monologue to Rose while they're with the village children, but he does talk about the inability of impoverished people to truly dream, so maybe that's the correlation?)

And then, because Jack must make his choice to serve Boss and earn money for his grandmother's treatment -- he has to let go of Joke. But.... they were never together anyway! Right?! (See @lurkingshan here for the wise comment on noble idiocy.)

I'm not bought into the closeness that I'm supposed to assume from Jack and Joke -- because we haven't been taken there yet. I haven't seen that closeness develop. I've seen Joke make it up to Jack for Joke's previous transgressions. But I haven't seen Jack respond to that emotionally, bodily, with heart, as a narrative would otherwise convey romance successfully in a script.

Unless this is an allegory meant to convey that poverty prevents people from falling in love. Is that the message? Because... dang, wtf. That's a hell of a message.

It's a brutal message, if that's the message, commenting on the assumed strength of the criminally powerful of Bangkok to squeeze out every last dream of those who are in lifelong debt to crime lords.

It's a very Tee Bundit message, honestly, as well. I can see him driving this show right towards this message that hopelessness is absolutely a reality for the thousands of impoverished Thais who will die in debt.

But this is a YinWar show -- and, unless we are going to be MASSIVELY SURPRISED, which I don't think we are, the car's gotta drive towards romance at some point. These guys aren't even together, and we're headed towards divorce court. We've missed some significant emotional beats along the way, and my eyebrows are furrowed as to how Tee Bundit will three-point-turn his way out of this traffic jam.

(What's my inevitable comparison to Kidnap? Kidnap is the other crime-y show of this autumn season, and its narrative has jumped all over the place. It's SO MESSY. AND, arguably, Min's and Q's romance has been driving at 90 mph since the start of the show. We've had MORE romance than plot, the opposite issue of J&J. But Min showed his true colors by 4/4 of episode 1. We knew the road we were driving on with our two mains! And there arguably hasn't been jumping of the romance narrative, although we got a pretty fast break-up in last week's episode. Kidnap is messy AF, but its intentions are clear. I'm not getting that clarity -- as cheesy as it's been in Kidnap -- in J&J.)

[nocturnowlette]

Aren't you worried about forming a cult of personality?

Group hypnotherapy, mediated especially by a single individual, seems to encourage that kinda parasocial following.

Mix that with personalised sessions with multiple people, possibly seen as lovebombing. Elevating your audience to the idea that they're a mutual, when they're not even close to your personal life.

Why not just point to a larger, more professional hypnotherapy server? Such could guide the individual to somebody that may be better equipped for them personally, and constructive yet critical peers for yourself and other hypnotists.

It could offer other methods (including non-hypnotherapy ) that could guide individuals to heal faster.

Imo, it's a lot healthier when attention is spread out mutually, and treatment exposure is not at the whim of a subjective personality.

And if just a group, not primarily about hypnosis and more about your explorations of it, then you should post that kinda stuff to your channel instead so the video can receive feedback from hypnotherapists, and it'll be able to be seen by everybody, not just the people in your server, and you can just do puppy stuff there. As long as it's all safe and doesn't form unhealthy bonds that prioritise escapism over wellbeing.

You seem confused on what this server is.

Firstly, it's not hypnotherapy at all; it's a recreational hypnosis server. I, in fact, actively discourage anyone who is not a professional therapist (let alone hypnotherapist) from attempting to serve that role to someone else. Many hypnotists who just start out see conditioning as a hammer and every emotional problem as a nail, and I shut that down immediately.

You also seem to heavily overestimate my role as the server leader. If we were to quantify activity of hypnotists in the server, I likely would not even be in the top 5. I've largely lost my interest in regular hypnosis sessions for the last few months and serve mostly as the teacher and guide, as well as just the administrative server owner.

This server is not even about hypnosis so much as it is a community server that has hypnosis as a binding topic. If I were to give a topical split of how much it's talked about versus everything else, I'd say that it composes less than 10% of all discussion in the server. Therian/puppy stuff takes up slightly more than that, maybe 20 to 25%, then the rest of the server is nerds talking about their interests and having fun.

Any emotional progress made in the server is consequential and due to the place letting people feel safe to be themselves. Such a thing does seem to help folks quite a lot, but no active therapy is being done, and we encourage folks to actually seek therapy among other things.

My role as the server owner is largely due to necessity. I've always found myself at a lack of communities that actually suit me, so I've always had to make them myself. I quite dislike being the leader and much like with hypnosis, I actually prefer being on the lack-of-power end and not the super-in-power one. I'm a subject far more than a hypnotist.

I'm selective about who joins because every single server member to have caused issues and then left joined the first day of the server before there was a member cutoff. This place simply won't work for the majority of people, and the people who are let in are ones that would benefit from it.

On to the other topic, I trust therapists who know some hypnosis, not hypnotherapists. Hypnotherapy has been infected by quacks who know next to nothing and is, by almost every measure, a community destroyed by scientific mysticism. It is maybe the worst representation of hypnosis in our world and at best is hardly helpful, while at worst is actively destructive.

Every hypnotherapist I've met has been woefully knowledge-less on the actual functions of hypnosis and how it works, and seems to only know how to do the specific things they're taught. It's the difference between memorization and understanding. They were chewed up and spit out by the pseudoscience factory and think they know anything.

I have no intentions to ever be a hypnotherapist because it is not even close to the best method of processing any emotions whatsoever. I like hypnosis as a hobby, a way to have fun with people. If you want something similar that is more helpful, look into Gestalt therapy.

[anxresi]

They're absolutely right...

...It's the writers that deserve the lion's share of the backlash, for poor, innocent, boring-as-hell Zoe is merely a tool of the oppressor, aka Mr Astruc. What's being oppressed, you may well ask? Well, interesting storylines, proper continuity, two-dimensional personalities... I could go on. Everything that makes a show compulsive and rewarding viewing that Miraculous Ladybug conspicuously and utterly lacks in every department due to his increasingly destructive machinations, basically.

This pink-streaked plot device masquerading as a serious character can (along with another equally pointless individual called 'Soquerline' who was so unmemorable I almost forgot she was ever a thing) exists for one reason and one reason only: to diminish Chloe's relevance and role in the show to the sum of precisely nothing. Well after S5, job done I guess guys. Well done. Well done indeed. (Although apparently not... they're bringing Miss Bourgeois back for more torture in the London 'special'. Guess Tommy Boy just can't keep away from his favorite punching bag, can he?)

The irony is though, having such a super-sweet but dull-as-ditchwater Mary Sue to replace a well-established and multi-layered person such as Chloe actually sends out a seriously awful message. Why? Because if I was a bad kid and saw S1-3 Chloe, I'd think 'what a fascinating redemption arc, I can inspired by that and do better.' But after seeing S4-5 Chloe and what an arguable downgrade as a replacement the incredibly tedious Zoe is, I'd be more like 'well, obviously there's no point in trying to be good, because you'll probably turn into a psychopath overnight with no explanation in the middle of your genuine efforts to improve. And if what the show is presenting to me as the ideal for a teenage girl to be is the waste-of-blank-space that Zoe clearly is... then a life of deliquency sounds more tempting with every passing minute! Now, where did I put my spray can?'

The most shameless aspect to this whole argument though, is by those trying to paint the hapless Zoe as some kind of lesbian icon. Pardon? She got a plot-mandated crush on Marinette in one episode and somehow that makes her insipid and needless presence an asset for the gay community? Somehow a few people have got it into their heads if you 'dare' to make someone non-straight in cartoons these days you deserve a big pat on the back for that 'risk' alone. WRONG. They should also be fleshed-out, complex, necessary characters whose sexuality isn't just define them or deflect from deserved criticism as to what the hell they are doing there if they turn up in the middle of proceedings with no prior explanation. See: The Owl House for how it's done.

And that's all Zoe being gay is... an irrelevant trait Mr Astruc can point to cynically and say ' you're a bigot for disliking her whatever your reasons are, so I'm not listening to you' instead of engaging with the actual argument which is SHE IS NOT AND WAS NEVER NEEDED IN THE SHOW. Everything you required to make Chloe the brilliant character she could've been was RIGHT THERE in the script but you CHOSE to rub it all out and scrawl some hastily scribbled doodle with no personality other than being 'very nice' in her place. A tragedy. The worst case of self-vandalism I've ever seen. No wonder Jeremy Zag wants to start from scratch with his rebooted movies. More power to him, IMHO.

Needless to say, nearly all the above in the quoted post about her father loving her (we haven't met him yet, it's DEFINITELY not Andre Bourgeois, his name ends in 'Lee' for a start) her supposed growth (the only 'growth' she's had is when she turned into that giant golden Chloe after being akumatized) her alleged pansexuality (all in the desperate mind of the OP) her 'abusive' family (I think you'll find Chloe had it FAR WORSE over the course of the show in that regard, so why not idolise her?) is complete bunkum. and to be frank I couldn't compose a much delusional post if I tried. Sometimes I wonder: what planet are some people on to reach such implausible conclusions? I don't understand it, I'll never understand it and quite frankly I feel quite sorry for the arbiters of such risibly deluded takes.

Last but not least though, we have...

Now this I ALSO agree with 1000%. And I know just the place to 'flush' her... ;)

[winchestergirl2]

May Reading Rec List

To show some love and appreciation to all the amazing writers here on tumblr, here are all the fantastic fics I've read this month. 💖

Many of these fics and blogs are 18+ only, and NSFW please heed the author's individual fic warnings and requests regarding no minors. I am not responsible for your media consumption.

Reading Recs Masterlist

Supernatural

Dean Winchester

Darken (Masterlist) @impala-dreamer

Authors Summary: ~You woke up in a trashed motel room covered in someone else’s blood and no memories of the past week.~

Without Her @foreverwayward

Authors Summary: Dean mourns the loss of the love of his life.

Tattooed @coffee-obsessed-writer

Authors Summary: Dean takes you to get ink

Sam Winchester

Lean On @winchester-fantasies

Authors Summary: Sam finds you years later after leaving you for Ruby. Set early in season 5. Inspired by the song “Lean On” by Major Lazer & DJ Snake.

Carry Me @welikeimagines-andfandoms

Authors Summary: Fun fluffy Drabble with the moose

You Lost Me @tattooed-on-my-wayward-soul

Authors Summary: Sam chose Ruby over the reader, now Ruby is gone and the reader and Sam are no longer together but Sam still loves her. The three go to watch the Supernatural play and Sam’s see what he really did to the reader.

Sam and Dean Winchester

Sleeping Arrangements @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis

Authors Summary: Imagine sharing a bed with Sam and Dean.  No smut, but oh how we wish…

Dawson's Creek

CJ Braxton

One Exception @zepskies

Authors Summary: Joey has invited you to a party at Pacey’s apartment, and CJ has agreed to go, despite the contentious history between him and your new friends. He doesn’t want to be the reason you miss out on a good thing, but it also means he’ll have to hide his apprehension (and his alcoholism).  

Tracker

Russell Shaw

So Close @thebiggerbear

Authors Summary: You meet Colter and Russell at the morgue to help them gain access. Had you known how this was really going to go, you might have pushed Colter's call to voicemail.

Close Enough @thebiggerbear

Authors Summary: When you'd met the Shaws at the morgue the day before, you thought that had been the end of it and you wouldn't need to see one Shaw brother in particular again. Little did you know that Colter was about to once again ask for your help and not only would you be forced to see Russell again but things were about to change drastically for the both of you.

Waiting For The Real Thing @rizlowwritessortof

Authors Summary: You can't serve in the same unit with somebody without getting pretty close. She managed to survive around him until a couple of years ago. And when she hears about their brother-in-arms troubles, she heads that way to help out. Of course, Russ beat her to it. And now she just can't make herself leave without seeing him.

A Line And A Half @zepskies

Authors Summary: When Dory’s eldest brother comes to visit her at Wyoming University, you don’t know quite what to make of Russell Shaw. But he knows exactly what he wants to make of you.

Walker

Cordell Walker

Moonlight Whiskey @idreamofplaid

Authors Summary: Cordell plans a romantic night for the reader that brings back memories from decades ago.

Ten Inch Hero

Boaz Priestly

When Broken Is Easily Fixed @deanbrainrotwritings

Authors Summary: priestly broke up with tish (yes!) uh, i mean… you watch him be pathetic and sad with his big wet green eyes.

Big Sky

Beau Arlen

Untitled drabble @anklesoverackles

[theweirdwideweb]

I reported my boss to HR for discrimination last week. Please tell me if I'm crazy.

My old boss got promoted so around October I got a new supervisor. We've been coworkers for about 5 years and had a friendly relationship. I'd been to her house, met her kids, we chit chatted a lot. When she started approving my time cards she noticed I was using about 3-5 hours of PTO per week at random times. I explained this was an informal arrangement I had with my previous supervisor due to my disability. I have C-PTSD and ADHD which honestly make it difficult to get through the day pretty much every day. Sometimes I need more breaks and if I'm using my PTO and being honest, who cares right? Well the new supervisor cared. She told me that if I couldn't be a full time employee they couldn't justify our headcount and my job was on the line unless I made this a formal arrangement. I was really hurt but I did it, I got all the doctors notes together and figured--while I'm formalizing it, I actually do need extra therapy so I'm gonna make my FMLA (family medical leave act) time include these sessions.

All this is approved obviously because one thing I'm not is self diagnosed. I've got medical records a mile high. So starting in January this official leave time goes into effect and I can use up to 7 hours of PTO per week. Before all this began my supervisor consistently praised me as a "rockstar" employee, saying I was the only person on the team who truly follows the rules. In general I was thought of as an excellent worker and had received a promotion. The team that I lead smashed our goals for 2023. But, strangely, once I start the FMLA my supervisor begins complaining about my lack of productivity. I kept a spreadsheet as a tool for my ADHD where I tracked how I was spending my time so I volunteered to let her see it so she could figure it out. Instead of sending the spreadsheet tracking my work in 5 minute increments once or twice, this woman has had me sending it every week for the past 7 months. Every Monday we have our 1:1 and she lets me know how poorly I'm doing. She also sends me an email on Mondays where she counts every email I have in my inbox, every claim I have across multiple programs, every minute of meetings I have scheduled and sends me the amount of time she expects it to take and if I don't make it then we have to talk about my "problems".

Now I'm practically never making it. I've appealed to her and to her boss so many times that there is something wrong with this formula they've come up with to calculate my workload--and they both just think I'm lying. Long story short in May I started measuring my time not on the spreadsheet but by the individual tasks in the email and not only am I keeping up, but there's a full 5-6 hours of work every week that she hasn't been counting (including 3 hours talking on the phone---with her!). I bring this up at our 1:1 in late May and say, See there really is something wrong with your measurement. I'm right on track productivity wise with these tasks. She doesn't acknowledge at all the flaw I've found in her formula but DOES say, "I do think there's been an improvement in your productivity and I expect it will continue to improve as you get more therapy." Full on MASK OFF. So my "productivity issues" are improved by therapy, meaning she's been ascribing those issues to my disability. Incredible.

I go to HR the next day to have this interaction on the record. First time I've gone to HR about anything ever. They are so concerned that they are going to launch an investigation and I tearfully plead with them not to because my boss's boss is out on medical leave and I don't want to cause huge problems while she's away and can't moderate. I didn't realize it would automatically cause an investigation to report this. The lady takes pity on me and says they won't investigate for now.

The VERY NEXT DAY my supervisor tells us in a team meeting (other people there to witness) that she's got a funny story about her son. It's some innocent story about how he's grounded and can't go to a party, but she continues on by talking about how she has to be extra strict with him because he has ADHD. If she doesn't enforce consequences, he'll never learn! And he has to learn because when he grows up his boss isn't going to take his ADHD as an excuse. "Policies are policies" she said, "Your boss isn't going to accept an answer like I know I was supposed to do four things but I only got to three because...." She even went further talking about how he's having trouble learning to drive because of his ADHD and just laughing about it. When he has to do something, she says, she has to remind him multiple times and set timers and double check with him otherwise he'll forget.

So I'm fucking flabbergasted at this point, right? This whole time I've been feeling like this time tracking is discriminatory and here she is just spelling it out for me in neon letters: YES, IT ACTUALLY IS. So I'm biding my time until her boss gets back from medical leave. But after 3 weeks of showing her that her method is flawed she tells me I don't have to do the spreadsheet anymore. Her boss is back but cancelled our first meeting, so I figure: If the bullshit stops, for the sake of my career and mental health I'm gonna let this go. My supervisor goes on vacation for 2 weeks. I'm doing my work exactly as I want to without the added pressure and everything is going great.

Once she gets back though we have our 1:1 and she asks me where my emails were on the 2 past Fridays telling her if I got all my work done. Which she never asked me to do, btw. Reader---I mcfreakin lost it. I belligerently asked why this was still necessary, that I felt picked on and bullied, that she isn't doing this to anyone else on the team, and that I'm sick and tired of constantly being demoralized by her leadership. I told her that I was going to talk to her boss directly about this situation. She was pissed. She actually unfriended me on facebook which for middle aged women is like throwing a grenade.

Next day I talk to her boss. I bring my evidence because of course I've been taking notes. The situation is serious. HR has become involved. And just because there are anti-retaliatory rules for reporting protected concerns doesn't actually protect me from getting fired. Suddenly I'm fearful about everything. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job and my health insurance, bye bye therapy,, bye bye surgery I need. I've been at this job 6 years and the animosity is at an all time high. Christ almighty.