#i've just realized i forgot to post these ages ago

[callsign-venus]

For the Love of Love | Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader | Part II

Part I | Series Masterlist

Summary: You immediately have doubts. As the morning goes on, they only get stronger. Good thing Bradley can be normal about this. Right?

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: fake dating, fake dating Bradley Bradshaw in particular, completely implied age gap

a/n: Thank all y'all for the response to the first part :) I was so nervous to post it, but everyone has been so kind and encouraging! Also, I've created a taglist for this series -- please let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future updates! Ok, ok, let's get this show on the road (literally, we're on the way to Tahoe lol), enjoy x

It was 6:15 am. Streetlights washed your walls a bright, sterile white. You paced in front of your door. Next to it, your pink luggage set waited for you dutifully. Bradley was supposed to pick you up 15 minutes ago. He hadn’t responded to any of your texts. Or your calls.

Were you dumb for thinking he really wanted to join you – and your entire family – in Tahoe? Was he drunker than he let on last night, or maybe he forgot entirely? You hoped not, you’d already bought him the seat next to you on the plane. You really didn’t want to explain to your parents why they were paying for two plane seats when only you arrived at the cabin.

You checked your phone. 6:17. Soon, you’d have to drive by yourself. Maybe he’d catch you at the airport.

Just as you made for your keys, there was a sharp knock at your door. You undid the deadbolt and flung it open. Bradley stood in the sickly yellow light of the hallway, looking better than you wanted him to in just gray sweats and a black hoodie.

“Good morning!” He was surprisingly chirpy for how early it was.

“You’re late. Why didn’t you answer my texts?”

“What texts?”

“The texts I sent you?” You grabbed all three pieces of your luggage and struggled through the door frame.

“My phone died.” He was tapping his phone screen like he was just realizing that it wasn’t turning on. He gave up, pocketed the phone, and lifted the two biggest suitcases out of your hands. “Jesus, how long are we going to be gone? It’s like you packed your whole closet.”

“Three days. But I have to be prepared.” You locked up your apartment and started down the stairs, your suitcase clanking down each step. Your neighbors were probably thrilled.

Bradley followed behind you, lifting your other suitcases as if they weighed nothing.

“So you’re just going to travel with a dead phone?” You asked when you finally made it to the lobby.

He shrugged. “Is your phone charged?”

“Of course.”

“Works good enough for me.”

He reached over your head to hold open the front door as you dragged your suitcase into the brisk early morning. His Bronco shone like adventure. You and Bradley loaded your luggage, and he opened the door for you to get into the passenger seat.

“Coffees?” You asked as he slid into the driver’s seat and started the car.

He glanced down at the twin iced coffees lined up in the cupholders between you. “I thought it'd help us get through the early morning. I didn’t know what you liked though, so I just got you my drink.”

You stabbed a straw through the plastic lid of the coffee and took a sip. It was shockingly sweet. You coughed a little.

“You like it?” Bradley smiled, keeping his eyes on the road. “I’ve perfected my order. Caramel and white mocha and cinnamon sprinkle on top.”

You take another sip. Without the sweetness taking you by surprise, it was much better. “It’s good. I would have pegged you for a hot black coffee guy, though.”

“I’m full of surprises.” He merged on the freeway.

The sound of the road passing under the Bronco filled the silence of the car.

“So…” Bradley tapped his thumb against the Bronco’s wheel, the echoes of some song you didn’t know. “What’s your family like?”

You watched lights flick on in the windows of the buildings you passed. People getting ready for their typical days. You pressed down a shock of panic. This was absurd. But Bradley seemed committed, and if it was going to work, you had to set him up for success. That meant warning him about your family.

“Well, my Grandma Sybil and Grandpa Thomas have been married for sixty years. Obviously.” Nervous laughter bubbled from your lips before you could stop it. “They’re Grandma and Grandpa. I grew up going to their house and stuffing myself on her cookies and falling asleep on his lap. But Grandma Sybil can be… stern.”

He stopped tapping his thumb to snag his coffee and take a sip. “Like, how so?”

“She’s just a little rough around the edges. She had a tough life before meeting my grandfather, and though she softened to him, I don’t think she softened much to the rest of the world. Just, don’t take it personally if she doesn’t warm up to you right away. Or at all.”

“Noted.” You heard him swallow.

You picked at a seam in your pants. “And their oldest daughter is my Aunt Marnie. She’s married to Uncle Jim. They run a crystal shop just outside of Vegas. They might try to push moonstone or onyx on you. Just smile and accept it.”

“Ok. Marnie and Jim. Crystals.” He committed the names to memory.

“Their daughter Sabrine just got married.”

“You went to the wedding, I remember.”

You flushed, grateful that the sun hadn’t quite risen yet and the hotness of your cheeks dissipated in the darkened car. He had remembered. You didn’t think any detail of your life was important enough for him to care to remember – and it really was just one week that you were gone – but maybe your life had bled into the Daggers’ more than you thought.

As the airport came into view, you told him about Sabrine and how she would bring her new husband Matt. She was already seven months pregnant. Grandma Sybil was less than pleased, but Grandpa Thomas either didn’t care or hadn't worked out the math.

“And what do your aunt and uncle think?” Bradley asked.

“I think they’re just happy that she’s happy. They sound excited to be grandparents. But Auntie Marnie did complain that the wedding was tacky.”

Bradley snorted. “Was it?”

“It was sweet,” you said. “It was in his mom’s backyard. The colors were red and black, but it was sweet.”

An airplane roared overhead, glinting in the sun that was just sharpening over the horizon.

Bradley pulled into the airport’s parking garage. He had only packed himself a duffle bag, so he was able to carry all of your luggage plus his own. In exchange, you carried both coffees and locked the Bronco. You slipped Bradley’s keys into his pocket as he instructed, your fingers warming where they grazed the fabric of his sweats.

The airport was fizzing with the whispers of early morning travelers. You rubbed your eyes as you stepped under the fluorescent lights, taking stock of just how many others were yawning and lining up at the baggage counter under those same lights. Why was the airport so busy before 7am?

As if he could read your mind (or maybe he just saw you tense up at the sight of so many people), Bradley said, “It’s ok. We still have time.”

His reassurance drove you to action. You traded his coffee for your bags and shuffled into line for the check in counter. From the standstill line, you watched Bradley as he wandered around the walkway, taking sips of his coffee, staring up at the ceiling, and generally being a 6’1” hazard to the travelers rushing to get to the TSA line. You rolled your suitcases across the green gray carpets the check in counter line eked forward, nearly running into the old man in front of you as you kept your gaze on Bradley. Why was even his boredom endearing?

Just before you got to the front of the line, he stopped and stared up at the ceiling, causing a woman who was looking at her phone to crash into him. You giggled as you watched him apologize, and saw, in real time, as the woman went from indignant to flustered as she realized how hot he was. She tried to strike up a conversation, but he caught your gaze from across the room. Her eyes followed his, and when it hit you, she was quick to disappear into the airport crowd.

Your face grew hot. You mouthed sorry to him as the woman at the counter was calling you forward. You were a little sorry; she was very pretty. But some part of you delighted in being perceived as his girlfriend, even if it was easier to convince a stranger than your family.

“Ma’am, next guest.” The stern voice of the woman at the counter shook you from your thoughts.

Once your bags were checked, you caught up with Bradley. The two of you rounded the corner only to stop short when you saw the enormous security line.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” you groaned.

“We’ll be fine. It’s only 7:15.” Bradley nudged your shoulder with his. “Plus, it gives us time to get our story straight.”

“Our story?” You asked as you both stepped into line.

“Yeah. Like, how did we meet?”

You didn’t skip a beat. “Nat introduced us.”

“That was quick.” He raised his eyebrows.

“Well, let’s try to stick with reality as much as possible. And my family loves Nat, her stamp of approval will go down great.” You really hoped no one could hear you two. But the steady murmur of overlapping early-morning conversation seemed to drown out your weird topic of conversation.

“Well, how long have we been dating?”

That you had to think about. “Well, it can’t be too short, otherwise it would be weird that I’m bringing you.”

“It’s already weird.” He laughed.

“They don’t need to know that,” you said. “How long do you think we could pass for? 2 months? 6?”

“Aren’t they going to ask why you’ve never talked about me or brought me around?”

“Good point. We’ll say 4, and I’ll just tell them I wanted to be sure before I told them about you.”

“You think we could convince them we’ve been dating for four months?”

You shrugged, but your stomach somersaulted. “We can try.”

“Like this?” He grabbed your hand and laced his fingers between yours.

Your hand tensed. Your stomach did a whole gymnastics routine. You were holding hands with Bradley Bradshaw in the airport. You looked around, sure that any TSA agent in your vicinity could sense your anxiety and pull you for secondary screening.

“Relax.” He patted your hand with his free one. “We’re not going to get far like this.”

You forced your fingers to meld with his. The iced coffee and your nerves were a terrible mix for your empty stomach.

“Better.” He kept hold of your hand as you shuffled up the line. Then he grinned.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“You know those couples in lines at amusement parks?” A lopsided smile brightened his face. “When they’re waiting in line?”

“The ones that are really into PDA?”

“Exactly.” He dropped your hand, slid up behind you, and wrapped his arms across your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder. “All we need to do is follow their lead.”

You did everything in your power to stay upright and keep your breathing steady with his chin pressing into your skin. He kept hold of you as the line moved up. You clenched your hands, your nails digging crescents into your palms. There was no way he couldn’t hear your racing heart and your ragged breathing.

“And there’s this move.”

As the line slouched to a stop, he spun you around, still keeping hold of your waist, but now you were face to face. You looked up at him, tried to form a sentence, but found yourself completely dumb. He leaned his forehead against yours. Surely he could feel the warmth of your face, see the confused longing in your eyes. He smiled at you for just a second before he broke away from you and threw his head back laughing, drawing glares from your fellow sleep-deprived travelers.

You were practically mute through the rest of security. Bradley seemed to have fun grabbing your hand, draping an arm around your shoulders, and messing with your hair. You wondered if he knew the effect he was having on you or if he was earnestly trying to practice for your family. Maybe he was just trying to rile you up. 

“You were great.” He patted the top of your head, causing your heart to shrivel a bit. “We’ll have them all wrapped around our fingers.”

You cleared your throat and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

Once you were through security, you broke up to scrounge some breakfast. Well, that’s what you let Bradley think anyway. You tried to beat down the butterflies in your stomach as you wove between slow-walking travelers toting huge suitcases and knots of families with waddling toddlers, straight to the bathroom.

The stall offered you just enough privacy to freak out. You felt your face, your waist, flexed your hands right in front of your eyes. It took you months to not freak out about the platonic arm draped around your shoulders, his quick hugs goodbye at the Hard Deck. How on Earth were you going to be normal about this?

He complimented you on a job well done, but in truth, he did all the work. You didn’t reach out for him once in the security line. Would your family even believe you liked him? After that performance, the idea that they could possibly think that you were in love seemed laughable.

The weekend stretched long ahead of you. You were beginning to realize how stupid it was for you to begin such a ruse that you’d have to keep up for three days. You wondered if Bradley would react poorly to being sent home after already getting through security.

You hurriedly texted Nat – who knew very well how you felt about her coworker, almost to the point where she might have purposefully orchestrated your trip. It was a bit of a text wall, detailing the TSA line and your dread about the weekend. If she wasn’t already working, she would probably be asleep for three more hours, so you pocketed your phone after hitting send.

The sound of a flushing toilet reminded you that, yes, you were having a small crisis in a public bathroom. That thought was so sad that you took a deep breath, set your shoulders, and walked out of the stall to face the world.

From a little store, you picked up a berry parfait for breakfast and a bottled orange juice, since the TSA confiscated your half-empty iced coffee.

You found Gate 4. People were falling asleep upright in the airport seats, blankets and pillows abound. It smelled like the Jack in the Box across the way. You found two empty seats by the window and kicked up your feet to reserve one for Bradley.

He found you ten minutes later, carrying a bag stuffed with two bagels – one sausage and egg breakfast sandwich and one cinnamon raisin with strawberry cream cheese, he explained. You nodded as you dropped your feet and scraped the rest of your yogurt out of your cup.

“So your cousin Sabrine is pregnant and your grandma isn’t happy,” he said around a big bite of bagel, egg, and sausage. “What else?”

“Well, my grandparents’ youngest child is Auntie Elaine. She lives in Alaska with her husband. They breed sled dogs.”

Bradley paused right before another bite. “Really?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool. Some of their dogs run the Iditarod, and I think one was part of the winning team a few years back. They have twins a little older than me. Nora and her wife Madison, they’re… really cool. Last I heard, they were climbing K2. And there’s Nora’s twin brother Owen. He has a girlfriend named Addison, which I think is funny. Madison and Addison. The twins don’t think it’s as funny as I do.”

Bradley laughed. The bagel sandwich was gone, and he traded the leftover wad of greasy wrapping paper for the cinnamon raisin bagel. “And what’s the deal with Owen and Addison?”

“They’re pretty chill.” You thought about it for a minute. “Owen used to punch drywall, but he’s calmed down.”

Bradley stared at you, waiting for you to laugh.

The gate agent called you to board before you could explain. Though you didn’t think any explanation would be helpful.

The plane ride was nice and short. You slept through most of the hour and a half. You were mortified to wake up on Bradley’s shoulder as the plane jolted in the harsh turbulence that shrouded the Reno airport. 

You sat bolt upright, fully awake. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He patted your thigh assuredly. “It’s good practice.”

You didn’t have time to freak out at his touch because the plane rocked again. You’d experienced this turbulence countless times, something about the mountains and the desert air made the plane bounce around like a toy in the hands of an overexcited toddler. Still, as the plane jerked down, it planted a pit in your stomach that made your hands clammy.

When the plane dipped again, you clutched the armrest. You didn’t want to look at Bradley, who probably thought your overreaction was silly. He’d experienced g-forces upwards of 8Gs countless times. It was bad enough flying next to Nat, who you knew would never judge you, but next to Bradley, you felt like a little kid scared of the dark.

“Hey,” he gingerly pried your hand off the armrest and held it with a softness you didn’t expect from him, “look at me.”

You tore your eyes away from the flight tracker on the display in front of you, worried you’d see judgment in his dark eyes. But his expression was everything soft.

He smiled when you met his gaze. “We’re going to be fine. Trust me, I’ve flown a plane or two.”

You laughed despite the plane suddenly banking upward.

He squeezed your hand as the plane leveled. “So here’s the deal: you keep looking at me. You can only panic if I start panicking. Deal?”

You nodded. “Deal.”

He held your hand and your eyes until the plane kissed the blessed tarmac. By then, the pit in your stomach had been flooded with a mushy feeling you simply did not have time to drain because the seatbelt sign dinged off, and you had a rental car to secure.

Getting out of the airport went as smoothly as possible. Within 20 minutes of deboarding, you and all your luggage was crammed into a rental Prius. Bradley’s nose crinkled when he first saw it, but he folded himself into the passenger seat without complaint.

You fiddled with the radio until you got it to play a throwback ‘70s station, then peeled out of the airport. Soon, the dusty city of Reno and its casinos were in the rearview, and the Sierra Nevadas loomed large on the horizon. When the road lifted off the desert floor and began winding through the foothills, childhood excitement drummed through your veins. As the car screamed along the highway, desert scrub blurred into pine trees that jutted straight up toward the endless blue sky. Patches of snow bloomed in their shade.

“Wow,” Bradley said as the trees grew thicker like a tightly stitched blanket over the mountains. Snow carpeted the ground. Little cabins shone through the forest and snow like jewels.

“Wait until we get around this mountain.” You couldn’t keep the smile off your face. You carefully made a sharp turn, the mountainside steep and unwelcoming. But as the car straightened out, the trees yawned apart, and you caught Bradley gawking at the lake out of the corner of your eye.

Nestled between snow-draped mountains, it shone like a sapphire in the late morning sun.

You’d spent several summers splashing in its frigid waters with your cousins until your skin was so covered in goosebumps that Grandma Sybil threatened to pluck you for Christmas dinner. The same lake was the backdrop to hundreds upon hundreds of ski runs and one trip down the mountain with ski patrol. Your arm still ached to think about that late February day, even all these years later.

“It’s beautiful,” Bradley said, and you agreed wholeheartedly.

Your phone’s navigation system stated that there was only 20 minutes until you reached your grandparent’s cabin. You sucked in a breath between your teeth and cracked a window, hoping the cold, piny air would help settle your stomach. It didn’t. But you still had to finish giving Bradley the family rundown.

“My parents are Sean and Catherine,” you said. “My dad might try to intimidate you, but don’t worry, he’s a softie.”

“Ok.”

You couldn’t be sure he was paying attention, as his face was all but pressed against the window, soaking in the spectacular views. Even if you wanted to be mad, you really couldn’t blame him.

You stepped on the breaks as the road started dipping down a little. “My mom will be the most problematic. I swear sometimes she can read my mind. Whatever we do, it’ll be hard to convince her.”

“We’re going to be there in 18 minutes. Next time, a little more heads up please?”

“Sorry, sorry.” Your grip on the steering wheel tightened. “Just tell her that you take me to Vino in La Jolla and buy me flowers.”

“Is that what your ideal man would do?”

Would it be so bad if you just drove off the road? The steep mountainside looked more inviting by the second.

“Shut up.” You froze your gaze to the winding road. “I have a brother, his name is Tommy.”

“I know,” he said. “I think I’ve met him once – when he was in San Diego for spring break?”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot,” you said. “Well, he and his girlfriend Georgia are high school sweethearts. They’re the perfect couple, and it makes me sick.”

Bradley chuckled. “Noted.”

“So first goal: be believable.”

He laid his hand on your thigh. “Done.”

“Good.” His hand was burning hot. The car swerved ever so slightly as you lost focus on the road for a moment. “Second goal: be a better couple than Tommy and Georgia.”

“Let’s not try to overshoot this. We’ve only been dating for 4 months.”

You laughed in spite of yourself. When you eventually found your real partner, and everyone gathered in Tahoe again for Tommy and Georgia’s wedding, or a wintery ski trip, or whatever comes next for your family, you’ll come clean. You’ll cling to your partner and tell everyone all about your good friend Bradley Bradshaw and how the two of you never really dated. Your grandparents’ anniversary will be a hazy memory, but everyone will remember the tall, good-looking naval aviator and his (totally out of season) Hawaiian shirts and giant mustache. There would be shock, but eventually it would be an inside joke for years to come. You just had to get through this weekend.

Too soon, you were pulling into the cabin’s long, steep driveway. The cabin itself jutted off of the mountainside, its tapered roof giving it a harsh look, though you swore when you were little it just made it look cozy and inviting. Its windows were like glassy eyes following the Prius.

You put the car in park and turned to Bradley.

“Ready?” You asked.

“Ready, babe.”

Before you could fully register the fact that he called you babe, the cabin’s front door slammed open, and your family bursted out to greet you and the mysterious man you’d arrived with.

The knot in your stomach tightened like a noose.

Read Part III here!

Taglist:

@djs8891 @avengersfan25 @cornishkat @julielightwood @makingpeoplelaughsince1995 @abitdemented @darksparklesficrecs @igotmajordaddyissues @cupofchamomileeee @imaginationlover101 @simpfictionalcharacters

[reasonsforhope]

One of the things that I really appreciate about this blog is that now, every now and then, when I hear about some new awful thing in the world, it will be in the context of "and this is what people are doing to fight it". That's so much less paralyzing.

(If you have any sources to recommend for experiencing more of that, me and my mental health would be further indebted.)

Ahhh, I forgot about this message, sorry! Been a hectic couple of months.

I absolutely have more sources!

One of the biggest is the media collaboration The Solutions Journalism Network, which focuses on just that: closing the massive gap between people reporting on problems and people reporting solutions.

I have a giant bookmark list of sources for this blog, for good news stories and hope, so here's a bunch of links! Roughly in order of how good I think they are (in terms of size of stories, previously uncovered stories, good editorial standards, accuracy, detail, number of stories, etc. etc.)

We're gonna start with the ones that do good news ONLY, because sometimes you fucking need that, and then below I'll link some excellent sources that have a higher than average number of quality pieces on good news, even though they also publish other stuff too.

Good and hopeful news sources:

Future Crunch - If you only read one of these sites, read this one!!! It's a MASSIVE biweekly roundup of international good news stories with really high quality reporting--a lot of UN and WHO and major NGO reports as their sources. I cry from hope at LEAST 30% of the times I read this, and tbh it used to be like 100%, about a year ago when I started realizing that hope for the planet and for humanity was something that was REASONABLE TO HAVE.

Reasons to Be Cheerful - Fewer stories, but FANTASTIC quality of reporting, especially on fantastic local stories, many of them in international communities, that you've definitely never heard of before

Positive.News - Good coverage and especially roundups, mostly Europe-focused.

Good News Network - This one is awesome for the high number and approachability of its stories, but unfortunately also includes more "That's not news that's just a heartwarming anecdote" and "That's not good news it's actually dystopian" pieces than I'd like.

Jane Goodall's Good For All News - Really awesome focus on international issues, a lot of news from Africa, a lot of news about youth organizers and youth-led projects, and a lot of focus on how helping the environment and helping communities are inextricably connected. Yall Jane Goodall is doing SO MUCH amazing work out there even at her age, and most people also have no idea.

Good Black News - Mostly posts on music and entertainment, and doesn't post all that often, but they're great.

Good Good Good

The Good News Hub

Only Good News Daily

( ) for Tomorrow - Directory of grassroots solutions to all types of issues and "proof that no solution is too small to have an impact"

A Plus - Dedicated to uplifting stories in video form. I'm sure they're awesome, I just don't rly use them bc videos can set off my sensory issues

The Happy Broadcast - Illustrated good news tidbits! I haven't been using them much but it looks like they've (recently?) added more text and sources to each image, so I might change that. Illustrations are pretty cute tbh

Sources that publish a lot of good news, but also other not good stuff:

Euronews.Green - Environmental section of European news org

Yes! Magazine - Excellent solutions-focused journalism, excellent focus on BIPOC content and underrepresented communities

TheMayor.EU - EU-focused, discusses a lot of good projects and cool local developments/programs

Grist - Solutions journalism, fantastic corage especially on environmental issues

Mongabay - Billed as "News & Inspiration from Nature's Frontline," they are amazing and have some of the best goddamn reporting I've ever seen. They mean "frontline" very literally: there's a TON of pieces about and by and interviewing communities on the front lines of environmental conflict, especially developing nations and Indigenous communities world wide. That said there's also a lot of bad news on nature's frontline still, while they report a lot of amazing and powerful good news, make sure you're in a resilient mood when you visit this site, because some of the stories are also pretty upsetting.

Indian Country Today and Native News Online - two of the leading news orgs for Indigenous communities in the United States. Kind of like Mongabay in that they have a lot of good news stories from Indigenous communities that often no one else is reporting on, but also plenty of coverage of things that are definitely not good, so better to read when you're in a resilient mood.

If you have any good news sites/sources you'd like to add, please drop them in the replies or comments! I'm always looking for new good news sources (though I def don't always have time to use all of them, rip!). Plus, let's support these sites by giving them some traffic!

We could all use more ways to get some more good news.

[blue--ingenue]

"Evasive Maneuvers" - Part 4

Read the next part

Summary: You've been in love with Sebastian since the moment you knocked him on his arse on your first day. Entering your sixth year, you finally begin working up the courage to confess your feelings when he suddenly becomes the best Beater Hogwarts has seen in decades - and subsequently becomes the school's most eligible bachelor.

Author's Notes: sorry for the little cliffhanger/teaser a few days ago hehe. i've been really excited to post this chapter and wanted to give you a sneak peek. anyway, seb is a mess, but i promise he gets better at expressing his feelings :) (i forgot to mention in previous parts, but all characters in this fic are aged 18+)

Sebastian cursed as his shoe caught on a loose floor tile, nearly stumbling down the short flight of steps leading to the Potions classroom. He’d woken up on the wrong side of the bed and everything else had gone downhill from there. He’d arrived at morning quidditch practice to an onslaught of rain. Despite the wind and near-torrential downpour, Imelda had insisted they run drills until their allotted hour on the pitch was up. It was their final practice before their match against Gryffindor. Not only was it one of the most anticipated matches of the season, but Madam Kogawa had also chosen this particular match to evaluate the two houses’ players for a chance to represent the school at the Championships. Sebastian barely had time to cast a half-arsed drying charm over his robes before realizing Potions had started ten minutes ago. Now he was barreling through the halls, irritated and hoping that his tardiness wouldn’t affect his partner’s grade as well as his own.

Remembering that his best friend stood just beyond the door in front of him, he paused to run a hand through his unruly curls and adjust his tie. He hadn’t abandoned all decorum in his tardiness, thank you very much. For some reason she was the only one he cared to check his appearance for. The whole world could think him a rumpled, muddy mess, but as long as he maintained his dashing charm in front of her, he was content. This was, of course, all due to the fact that she was his best chum. That was the only reason he could think of. She was a fixture in his life, occupying more space in his heart and his head than he had the words to describe. So it naturally followed that her opinion would matter above the rest. It had been like this for as long as he could remember. Just last week he’d spent the galleons he’d been saving for some new quidditch gloves on a lovely necklace for her. He told her he’d come across it just as he was leaving Honeydukes. In truth, he’d spotted it at Gladrags a week before the start of term and knew it would look perfect on her. He’d only visited the sweetshop after he had acquired the necklace. He decided to downplay his enthusiasm for her gift, just in case she got the wrong idea. 

Sebastian was no fool to the nuances of courtship. Ominis had approached him over the summer to ask him for his blessing about courting Anne. Solomon, who had always had a soft spot for the Gaunt boy, and encouraged his endeavor with uncharacteristic enthusiasm. Both boys knew that Anne was her own woman and that asking for his blessing was a mere formality, but Ominis insisted on speaking to both of her remaining family members just in case. He knew what it was like to lose family and he didn’t want to risk causing a rift between any of the Sallows. 

Sebastian’s feelings toward his Gryffindor weren’t similar in the least. He’d seen witches and wizards fawning over one another as they walked arm-in-arm at Hogsmeade. He knew how ridiculous his classmates would act when the object of their affections glanced their way. Sebastian Sallow had never acted that way with her a day in his life. Sure, her presence left him invariably flustered, but that was simply because they were the closest of friends. He didn’t know how to put a name to the feelings she roused within him, but calling it something as trivial as “infatuation” seemed nothing less than insulting. No, she was far too extraordinary for that.

He was looking forward to putting this mess of a morning behind him. Spending time with her never failed to lift his spirits - which is why it hurt twice as hard when he stepped into the classroom and saw a familiar ginger nuisance standing in his spot. He was rooted to the spot, incredulous and fuming. He’d never taken issue with Weasley in any year previous, but since the start of term he seemed to be in the one place that was rightfully Sebastian’s - by his Gryffindor’s side. 

“Ah, Mr. Sallow. Good of you to finally join us,” Professor Sharp drawled from the front of the classroom. “If you’d like to avoid losing Slytherin any house points for today I’d recommend finding a seat. There seems to be an open stool next to Mr. Clopton.”

Begrudgingly Sebastian stalked over to Everett’s workbench and dropped his books onto the table with far more force than necessary. From across the room his Gryffindor shot him a sympathetic smile. It was like the first rays of sun had disintegrated the clouds from this morning’s offending storm. Looking around, she hastily scribbled a note onto a spare bit of parchment before waving her wand over it. With a soft pop the note appeared next to him. He smiled and snatched it from the table, unfurling it with speed. 

Sorry, Garreth volunteered to take your place when Sharp noticed you hadn’t yet arrived. Catch you after class?

He let the note fall to the table and plastered on a nonchalant smile. She seemed relieved, and for some reason that only seemed to irritate him further. Did being his partner mean so little to her that she was already content to continue on? To add insult to injury he was now forced to spend the next hour with Clopton. He was an alright bloke, but his obsession with quidditch meant that he was one of Sebastian’s biggest fans. He felt flattered, truly, but Everett’s presence began grating on his nerves once he started butting into the rare free time he spent with his Gryffindor. Seeking out a distraction from the hornet’s nest of feelings trapped within his head he turned to Everett to ask how far along they were in the potion recipe.

The Ravenclaw stood stock-still, as though he couldn’t believe Sebastian was actually talking to him after nearly a month of dismissed conversations. 

“Everett?” he prompted, exhaustion leeching the annoyance from his tone. He seemed to come to his senses at last and fumbled for the open potion book propped up against their cauldron. 

“Just here,” he replied, pointing to the second step. “I’ve already gathered the necessary ingredients, so we can just carry on with the chopping.” Sebastian thought he sounded far too enthusiastic for their first class of the day, but obliged. He’d just finished crushing the last bit of moonstone when Everett piped up. Unsurprisingly, and much to his dismay, he began prodding Sebastian about his broom skills. Sebastian gave a few obliging nods as he tuned out the boy’s rambling, intent on finishing their brew as quickly as he could. 

“The maneuvers you pull during practice are incredible! And on a school-issued broom, no less!” He carried on. Haughtily he added, “Of course, my broom is one of the fastest on the market. Begged my parents for one of those models for a year. A newer model was close to being released by the time they finally caved.”

Sebastian gave a noncommittal hum and focussed on listening in on the couple occupying his usual station. His hand stilled over the cutting board. Couple? He wondered. When had that word popped into his head? She and Weasley were hardly a couple. She was his best friend, and he was sure that he’d be the first one to know if she were even remotely interested in courting someone. To prove it, he looked up from his slicing to affirm their mutual distaste.

Only it didn’t look like distaste at all. She stood as she always did, elbows on the stained wood as she ran down the ingredient list with the tip of her wand. Weasley towered over her, reading over her shoulder with one arm supporting his weight atop the table. His attention caught on the boy’s face. He was smiling. It was soft and fond and trained entirely on her. Sebastian seethed. He didn’t know why this small act of affection lit a fire in his veins, but it just felt innately wrong, like stretching a muscle just a tad further than it was meant to bend. She was none the wiser as his larger hand brushed against hers in his attempt to turn the page. She turned her head then, realizing for the first time how close they were and blushed. This was ludicrous. Any closer and he’d practically have her pressed against the table. And what if he leaned down? What if he held her impossibly closer and pressed his lips against hers? Would she kiss him back? Sebastian wondered if she’d tug on his tie, pull him down and tangle a fist in his curls. 

This was ridiculous. Unbelievable. The whole bloody world was spinning off its axis and Sebastian was the only one who seemed to notice. If anyone should be kissing her, it should be him. He was supposed to be the only one to- 

Oh. 

Oh, dear. 

The world was no longer spinning off its axis. In fact, it wasn’t spinning at all. Everything and everyone was frozen and Sebastian was left to feel all these feelings in painful crystal clarity. He’d read about romance in the muggle novellas Anne had teased him for buying, but on paper everything was straightforward. The hero knew he loved the girl, and the girl loved him right back. In all the books he’d read the couples were inseparable. There was never a question of whether they loved each other, not one true doubt to be found. From Prologue to Epilogue he felt safe knowing that the couple would ultimately get their ‘happily ever after.’ Things were different once the books were back on their shelves. Happy endings were rare, if they even existed at all. His parents were kindred spirits, their love for one another so powerful that it flowed into every nook and cranny of their home. His mother used to tuck them in and say that she loved their father so much, the world decided they needed two children to carry it all. Those happy honeyed years were tucked safely away in his mind, where the memories of his parents’ demise and the rest of reality couldn’t touch them. 

Love was soft and sweet, and the world was a sharp and insatiable thing. The years following their move to Feldcroft were a special type of purgatory. The memories of his beloved childhood swirled cruelly in his mind’s eye each night, just vivid enough to remember yet just out of reach. A shard of fear pierced his chest. He couldn’t bear to lose her like that. He didn’t think he could stand getting so close to another person only to have them inevitably ripped away. Sebastian Sallow yearned for fairy tale endings, but he didn’t know if he believed in them anymore. 

A high-pitched hissing tore his focus away from his epiphany and the world spun on as if he hadn’t just realized something beautiful and horrible and terrifying. It intensified and he realized the noise was coming from Weasley’s cauldron. He could only watch on as it erupted, sending metal shards and acidic splatters every which way. Garreth tackled his Gryffindor to the floor, shielding her with his own body while the failed potion smoked and ate through his robes. She frantically tore the tattered robe from his body before it could make contact with the rest of him and the two froze. Although he couldn’t hear them over the chaos the rest of the room had erupted into, he knew she was asking if he was alright. He nodded and Sebastian saw red as he brushed her hair back to look at a nasty cut on her forehead. Garreth’s discarded robe smoked behind him, his shirt torn in a few places, and gently held her face in his hands as he checked for more cuts. He only barely registered Sharp dismissing the class for the day before he was grabbing his things and slipping out of the classroom.

.

.

.

.

.

Taglist: @snickette, @findingtruenorth23, @plooloo, @paganicher, @smilesworldsposts, @snoozebun, @crazyllamasurfer, @pixie-dustss, @margottheviking, @lollife1617, @tired-meg, @somethingiswrongwithme

[tragedycoded]

writeblr interview tag!

Thank you to loves @the-golden-comet and @sableglass for tagging me here and here. I need you know I made a serious effort not to be a sarcastic asshole as I answered these questions... four days ago. And then forgot to post them.

Let's ggo!

Short stories, novels, or poems? I published short stories in a previous life, but I suck at following prompts or instructions and have accepted my fate as a novelist.

What genre do you prefer reading? Horror. I'm in my post-cosmic horror era right now. Existential. Yeah. Although I don't write folk horror myself (I'm thinking Laird Barron, T. Kingfisher, Stephen Graham Jones) I do enjoy folk horror v much. Bonus points if the protagonists are middle-aged and it's not about how apartments/houses or children are scary. (No hate to domestic horror, I'm just not the target audience.)

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person? The first draft is me explaining the Situation to myself. If it happens to make even a tiny bit of sense, we're all lucky. Like, that almost never fucking happens. I didn't show Doom Metal Love Story to anyone until the third/fourth draft because any sense it makes came from me rambling at my roommate in the kitchen while high off my ass at ten in the morning last autumn.

I'm a rambler, baby~

What music do you listen to while writing? That depends! Most of the time it's the soundtrack of whatever video game I wish I were playing instead of working LOL. I've always been like this, it's not cute. Sometimes I rotate in a specific heavy metal album I've heard a million times if the vibes aren't right. If I'm really having a good day, it's '80s music.

Favorite books/movies? Yeah man I have some of those!

Favorite book is House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. Yes I realize this is a corny and uninspired answer. This book whipped ass when it was published and it whipped ass when I reread it in 2014 and I'm willing to bet money it would whip ass if I reread it in [current year].

Favorite movie is Aliens. The second one. It's the perfect movie. I refuse to acknowledge any film in the series other than Alien and Aliens. Corporal Hicks and Newt are still alive, you sons of bitches.

Any current WIPs? Yes.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be? A hooded sweatshirt, jeans, no shoes unless I'm out in public. Then it's flip flops. Fingerless gloves if it's chilly and muh arthritis is acting up.

Create a character description of yourself: The smell of pot smoke and the clicking of keystrokes barely penetrates the unopened window. Occasionally, they step out onto the back deck to smoke a cigarette and simultaneously praise and complain about the sun. They might be in their forties. They might own a cat. No one can agree on their height or their gender or whether they actually exist. Can only be contacted through instant message or email. Might be a ghost.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing? Hell, no LMAO. When I realize I've done it accidentally, I feel like I just got read by a therapist.

Are you kill happy with your characters? I may have killed all three main characters in DMLS multiple times, killed Khalid (from A Living Machine) when he was 12, in front of everybody, and I may intend to kill every character who appears in The Cave Dive, but...

... yeah OK there's something wrong with me.

Coffee or Tea while writing? Coffee all day every day.

Slow or fast writer? I type like someone is threatening to tickle my feet if I stop.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from? Uhhhhhhhh...

"OK yeah like that initial idea would be cool and all but make it worse."

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Most fav book cliche: This author comes from the land of "all cliches suck and should be avoided like the plague."

Least favorite cliche: Like the plague.

Favorite scene to write? Fight scenes. If I can't write a fight scene, let me write a fuck scene.

... why do I not write hockey romances, again?

Reason for writing? I've tried all other legitimate forms of occupation. This is the only one that rewards me for my ability to make shit up and type 40 wpm in first draft mode.

Tag! Usual apologizes for double-tagging go here, Jamie is silly.

@lychhiker-writes @cowboybrunch @finickyfelix @saturnine-saturneight

@ashfordlabs @autism-purgatory @noblebs @aintgonnatakethis

@the-golden-comet @asablehart @mauvecatfic @leahnardo-da-veggie

@sableglass @gioiaalbanoart @words-after-midnight

@lavender-bloom @jev-urisk @wyked-ao3

[marvel-and-chicago-fan]

Sick Sister

First Tumblr post ever, i work on wattpad but i want to also post my stuff on here. Anyways hope you enjoy

Requested: No

Warnings: Fainting, Hospitals, and one mention of ambulances

______________________________________________________________

Mattie’s Pov

“Mattie” you woke up to Jay pulling your covers off.

“Jay stop, it's so cold in here, did you turn the heat down or something?”

“No, I even turned it up last night cause I swear I could hear you shivering”. Jay said while going to feel Mattie's head.

“Gosh Mattie your burning up”

“I'm going to go grab the thermometer and call will, I'll be back”. Jay said while walking out of your room.

“Alright Mattie, I'm back”.

***

Jay called Will six times in the past hour taking the hint that he was busy or he just didn't want to answer so he called Connor in hopes that he would answer.

“Hello? Jay?” Connors tone confused on why his co-workers brother would call him

“Matilda has a fever of 103.1. I gave her tylenol around an hour ago and doesn't seem like it's working”.

“As her doctor im saying you should bring her in, but if you think she's ok then you can keep her at home”.

“I'm going to bring her in and-”. Jay stopped mid sentence hearing a loud thump. “Mattie, Matilda?”

Connor could hear Jay running up the stairs trying to figure out what happened.

“Jay-Jay, what's going on? Talk to me”

You felt a familiar feeling in your stomach, either it's because you're hungry or you need to throw up the crackers you ate.

As soon as you stand up get really dizzy you try to shake off the feeling but you can't, so you attempt to head down stairs but as soon as you take your next step you feel your body hit the floor and everything goes black.

According to Will and Jay you tend to faint every time you get sick but you don't remember so you just believe whatever they say and go with it.

The first time this happened Jay thought someone broke in since it was 6 in the morning. You swear you heard will yell that it was just you and not a criminal but your brushed it off thinking it was just a dream”

***

“It's Mattie, she fainted aging” .

“Make sure you put her feet up i'll let will know”

Before connor could finish jay hung up to call an ambulance”

***

“What've we got, Maggie”? Will asked as the paramedic handed over the young girl to the hospital.

“Matilda Halstead, 15 years old, found unconscious by her brother… Will you can't handle her, you the hospital protocols, I swear i didn't know”

Will was just left standing there as he watched his little sister being taken care of by other doctors.

***

Wills/No Ones POV

“At this point i think we should just put in the hospital with 24/7 surveillance everytime she gets sick” Will trying to make a joke

“First of all she hates hospitals and needles so that's a no, and i just realized that i forgot to tell voight i wouldn't be there. Haileys probably thought i've gone missing from not answering anyone's phone calls”.

Just then Connor walks in “Ok so she's ok now and you can see her now, she's dealurios but that will wear off soon. I wanted to run a few tests and it looks like she suffered from heat syncope. It looks like it's what causes the fainting every time she gets a high fever” .

“Thank you Connor”. Will replied

“Anytime guys, anytime”.

***

Mattie’s POV

Just then you saw your brothers come in and will told you to stop playing with your iv 

“Ha you two look alike for some reason”

“That's because we're brother mattie” Jay said while coming sit down next to you

“Mattie? But the doctors told me i was matilda am i impersonating someone” You whined

“No Matilda, we call you Mattie for short so you're not impersonating anyone, '' Jay said, trying to contain his laughter.

“Hey, stop laughing at me. Your so mean” You said almost crying

“Oh mattie jay just a 3 year old in an old man's body” Will sighed trying to calm down mattie

***

The rest of the night was filled with mattie making everyone laugh then connor discharged her

“Is she asleep?” Jay says when will comes down stairs

“Yep she finally let herself relax and sleep”

“She's just like you jay”

“And how she's more like you” Jay gasped

“She loves to be babied when she sick just like you” Will chuckled 

“Since you wanna keep coming at me like that you're in charge of waking her tomorrow morning”. Jay commented

“What?”

“See you tomorrow night will”

Will sat there thinking about how he's raising two children instead of 1 little sister.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A couple of replies with fandom stuff, then a couple of twst replies.

irregardlessly-tish asked:

A friend message me "YOU FOLLOW THE LEVI X GRISHA PERSON" and I had no clue what they were talking about but then they showed me the two pictures you drew of Levi and Grisha lol. It made me laugh a lot. Then I helped them found the uncensor version of one of the drawings in your pixiv since the link to twitter seem to be broken (I'm a great friend I know/j). I guess you could say they are big fans of your rarepair work!

LEVI X GRISHA PERSON AAAHH 😭 It’s always so funny to learn how people are referring to us; I was the Zevi artist, the Shroudcest artist… For some reason, being a Guriri (wow Grisha’s and Levi’s shipname is cute, I completely forgot about it) artist feels like such a high honour lol Especially because I had no idea there was someone out there invested in this ship. Your friend’s taste is excellent. A huge thank you to them for enjoying our stuff, and a huge thank you to you for helping to find the uncensored version. You really are a great friend hehe.

It’s honestly a shame that even the pixiv version is still censored (albeit not cropped like the tumblr version), because you can’t really post uncensored stuff there… So now only a few people who had saved our snk smut back when it was posted on our now-deleted twitter have it :(

(it’s a bit embarrassing looking back at those sketches and seeing all the mistakes though, yikes)

Anonymous asked:

I want to shake antis by the shoulders and scream at them all the time cause I see them being sooo unhealthy with themselves, and I've BEEN there I know what they are doing and I know it is just going to get them hurt with the same train wreck I got myself in!!

It's the whole problem with black and white thinking where you go "people treat incest shippers like satan himself, so I cannot accidentally enjoy it or I would be evil incarnate too, and adopted/step is the same thing, so I cannot accidentally like that, and found family is basically the same as adopted, so I have to avoid that, and character A called character B his bro one time, so..." that thinking pattern does not have a stopping point!!!!!! It is so unhealthy!!!!!!!!

And then people realize they can't stop themselves from enjoying unhealthy ships, and instead of separating fiction from reality, they just excuse everything abusive about the ship like it is fine and normal behavior because they cannot accept themselves enjoying something that is remotely problematic. It is so much more likely to get people hurt than just enjoying the porn of some fake brothers fucking 😭

Anon! First of all, sorry for replying late; we received your ask about a week ago but I didn’t have enough time to properly address it. Second of all, thank you for talking about it and sharing your experience.

It’s just like you said; people really don’t want to get ridiculed or hated, especially younger people, therefore, they are afraid of liking stuff that is even slightly problematic. And for some of them, if they don’t want their so-called friends to suspect them loving problematic stuff, they’ll act even more aggressive than they should to overcompensate. I feel like when it comes to antis who talk about us specifically, the most vocal and persistent ones are those whose friends called them out for following my accounts or liking my drawings. And this is honestly both sad and pathetic at the same time; I cannot imagine how bad of a headspace this might be. I don’t pity them though lol

We always talk about it, but still: this is a game you can’t win because the rules are always changing. The only thing that never changes is that there is no nuance, once the crowd decide that the ship is bad, it’s bad. Starting out with the basics, age gaps and incest are bad, right? Right. But what if the characters aren’t canonically related but could be interpreted as brothers? Then it’s still bad, right? But what if they aren’t at all brotherly, but one of them expressed that they want to do bad things to the other? Sounds bad, right? And thus, the only type of dynamic that exists is a romanticised version of a perfect gay couple: they are equal in every way, they love each other, they are SUCH DORKS together who fit perfectly to any “redraw this as your ship” meme that’s the hottest thing these days, they don’t have arguments, they don’t have misunderstanding and rough moments. Their personalities, everything that made their relationship unique or interesting completely disappears and smoothes out, and after that it’s not even a ship, it’s just a nice blend that is perfect for consumption because it doesn’t irritate your teeth, your throat, or your stomach. It’s tasteless, it’s boring, it’s nothing, and it’s not about the characters, it’s about deciding which two characters are unproblematic enough to be transformed into blorbos, and if they have some problematic elements in-canon, it’s okay, we’ll just erase those because being unproblematic doesn’t really matter. What matters is to act in a way that doesn’t go against what the rest of them are doing, because otherwise you’re making people uncomfortable, and if they are uncomfortable with you, they feel morally correct for attacking you.

It’s never about characters. It’s always about control, about cliques, about bullying and making everyone afraid to have an actual opinion. It’s about instilling in people’s mind that attacking strangers on the internet makes you a cool person because you are simultaneously a rebel for being so ballsy and brave, and a saint for having moral standards so high that you can’t stomach bad things even if they are fictional.

Sometimes people just have different ships and that’s okay. Sometimes people don’t have any ships and don’t understand the shipping culture, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is to feel entitled to this control over the way others consume media and interact with it.

Because it makes the fandom experience boring at best and unbearable at worst.

Sorry, I digress lol What I wanted to say is that you are right, it messes with people’s brains. And it is much more unhealthy than fantasising about the things that are 100% fictional (which is, by the way, a huge part of their appeal).

Anonymous asked:

just wanted to say I love your content a lot, it's a breath of fresh air from all the anti content present in the fandom

You are very welcome, Anon! And thank you so much for your support <3 It means a lot to hear that our stuff is refreshing to you.

Anonymous asked:

Is Lilia sneezing on people on purpose, or is it a sneeze button for him?

(this is related to this post)

We’ll never know, Anon, it’s one of Lilia’s many mysteries…

Maybe it started out as a joke, but then he really began to sneeze on people every time his nose gets booped lol

Anonymous asked:

Where can I see the art for the new Shaftlands event?

I don’t think all of them are fully out yet, but people are pretty active on twitter, so simply looking up characters’ names is probably going to work!

Anonymous asked:

…Quick, someone bully Idia into sending nudes.

And be quick about it because Idia could also quickly change his mind and hack the recipient’s phone to delete the pictures!!

[softpine]

@bb-enablefreebuild LITERALLYYYYYYY i even have this exact image saved in my asa & finn web weaving folder jfksjds it's so them, even the hands 😭

@forgotten-pixels oh yeah he definitely has a wikipedia page!! his first single was a pretty big hit and even though his other work hasn't been as mainstream, he's contributed to a bunch of other artists' work so he's still well known in certain circles. i also think he's JUST famous enough to get those weird AI generated articles written about him, like "remember the guy who sang [song title from 15 years ago]? this is him now!!" because he's not well known enough for people to realize it's false / clickbait lmao. (btw you never have to apologize for asking questions!! i love them at any time 🥺)

asa has a regular phone but he may as well not have one at all because he quite literally never charges it or brings it anywhere fjkjsds stevie is the one who's always switching out her phone case & never gets around to putting a screen protector on so her screen is definitely cracked, i think elaine probably loses her phone the most on accident, and jada will say she lost her phone even when it's ringing in her hand because she just doesn't want to answer. if we still had texting limits stevie would use that shit up in half an hour, if that!!

his intentions were good...... his execution however..... leaves a lot to be desired

i'm so sorry my brain cannot even think about april fools right now without the dan and phil brainrot fully taking over 😭😭😭 no other pranks exist in my brain at the moment i can't even think of any sjksjd i could definitely see mikaela & danny pranking each other though

HELPPP this is so funny but i'm gonna have to say casper, there is no way he knows what that is

thank you for the idea!! i'm trying to avoid sending people a patreon link for written work; even if it's free (and it would be), there's still a connotation that it would cost money and i'm afraid no one would even click the link to read it (plus i've already used my patreon for cc so i'm afraid i would annoy the people who followed me for that content). ughhhh but thank you for trying :(

i'm really bummed about substack because it looked like the easiest way to accomplish what i want to accomplish but i'm sure i'll find something eventually. thanks for the interest 🥺

i would love to, but tumblr has a 30 pic limit and also i need to cut myself off at some point because otherwise i could literally spend months on 1 single post lmao 😭

you were right :P :P

i forgot about that too!! iirc wasn't it just dependent on the number of sims you have & their ages? asa bounces between caroline's and danny's houses so he would change the difficulty, but the mayfields would always have the highest rating because they also have sadie & the farm animals to take care of!

yes definitely!! just please credit the original mesh creator if applicable (i always list them) 💝

i forgot to answer this when you sent it, but i did read it right away and it made me smile, so thank you 💖💖

it really is the most attractive trait a person can have to me fjkjsds did you ever hear from that guy btw?? 💕

THANK YOUUU kisses you back one thousand times 💖💖💖

@minamill ILYYY 💞

@morrigan-sims thank you!!!! 🥺

[x-bee-x]

Alright here's the thing.

I started this in January I think, worked on it for a couple weeks, got distracted by writing other things, mental health and other life stuff happened, you know the drill.

But I'm coming back to it now.

Normally, when I write and post things, tagging creators directly is a big no. And I'm still a bit iffy doing this, but Aimee has expressed so strongly the want to be tagged in things, and shared their love for fan writing and fan creations in general, I feel more okay doing so.

I didn't really watch him during the event, but from the clips and other reactions to them I've watched or seen, it seemed like she had a blast. I am so proud of them for making it a far as they did, the whole team. And watching back parts of the vod to make sure I had everything correct before making this was so much fun, he's so sweet and warm but insane and terrifying at the same time, it was perfect.

I hope it's okay that I'm tagging and that this is what I wrote about and you don't mind this is the topic I chose even though it's been like seven months. I hope you guys think I did an alright job and you enjoy.

Aimee, in the rare chance that you see this, you're so cool dude, you are amazing. You're such a lovely human, and you bring smiles to so many peoples faces, I'm so proud of you, for so many things, and in so many ways.

I hope you all like this, I'm pretty dang proud of it. @aimseytv

Pomegranate

Death, not described in the fic, but there is a body. Cannibalism. Descriptions of body/parts/removing pieces of it/details about it/eating.

932 words

The sun would be going down soon, rays of light and shadows slowly changing the course of its path, the almost sickly colored sky and landscape were painted ever slightly as the day began its routine to bid the world farewell.

The antennae on top of Aimee's head twitched briefly as they sensed the air and took interest in the sight before them.

One of his could have been acquaintances. Actually. One of his could have been acquaintances bodies.

Their limbs almost tangled in the way they had fallen upon Death's embrace. Fabric that had once counted as an outfit with enough cover was now worn thin and falling off of their already exposed skin. Trails of slowly drying vermilion ran down the corners where sun kissed and chapped lips met.

Her head cocked slightly to the side in curiosity as their line of sight went up up up the mountainside.

Maybe their opponent tripped on something. Maybe they forgot their glider. Maybe they thought they'd experienced enough the past days and got a bit too eager and just happened to realize the ledge was right there.

Whatever the cause, it happened long enough ago for the contents of their backpack to have been collected by other members who had found themselves in this place, leaving only prints from shoes in the dirt or in the tacking puddles of crimson.

His stomach growled. Again. More often than not they seemed to spend hungry or have eaten only enough to save energy. It feels like it's been ages since he's known the feeling of being completely full.

They looked at their deceased opponent again, pale skin from a layer of life in this place and a layer of death holding them gently, and for the first time truly pondered something. Something that had been an occasional passing thought of disgust turned not quite unappealing but close turned morbid curiosity turned genuine. Something he would possibly come to regret.

She took the small knife from her pocket and crouched next to the victim and considered carefully.

No area of them was exactly clean, not like it mattered in the end, maybe it would soothe the cogs in his brain just a bit starting at an area at least somewhat covered by cloth.

Perhaps the side. Yeah that sounds good. It's just another sirloin of meat.

They took the knife and cut the still together fabric of shirt about halfway up to reach access.

As expected, the skin there was somewhat pale and had dried beads of sweat, it was also almost warm due to being exposed to the close to unbearable temperature, but at the same time kind of cool due to the lack of blood flow.

The end of the blade pierced and broke their almost comrade's skin and ruby came to its surface, it didn't well in beads or flow too terribly, because it had sat stagnant under the surface as it hadn't had a source to travel through for some time.

He tentatively brought up the knife to their mouth, antennae twitching once more and tongue peeking through somewhat nervous lips, then they licked a stripe along the side of the weapon.

It wasn't as special nor as startling as she was expecting.

The temperature was lukewarm and it was kind of sticky on his tongue and it tasted more like metal than anything.

But she still wanted more.

She placed the tip of the knife back in its slot of skin and finished removing the small filet of flesh.

He held it between slightly shaky but not as nervous fingers like any other piece of food and placed it on the pad of his tongue in one piece.

They tested it for a few seconds, just getting used to it on their tongue, then started to chew.

It was kind of tough, a bit more than her preferred style choice of how they liked any other cut of meat, but not uncomfortably so.

She could feel little pieces of tissue breaking and catching on the ridges of his molars and between teeth and it was thick when she swallowed but it was perfect.

They sliced off a bigger piece from the unexpected but not unwelcome sacrifice of sorts below him.

When they felt like they had sampled enough from the fallen's torso, he moved onto different parts of the body, not like they were expecting drastically different results in taste, but it seemed almost unfair to only eat from one area.

He also sliced into their bicep, taking sections like they had from the person's side and eating off the end of the weapon or taking it their fingers, but when he moved onto their thigh, they also placed both hands on either side of the leg to stabilize it.

It was tougher trying to chew through this than the meat that had already been sliced and separated and sitting on the pad of their weapon, this was still attached, and her teeth weren't very sharp, but he did his best anyway.

At last she was satisfied, she was full, that was a feeling she had almost forgotten.

His teeth were sort of sticking to themselves, they could feel bits between them and touching his gums, her skin was sticky and tacky and kind of cold from the drying crimson around their mouth and on their palms.

When they filled the distance walking between where his meal took place and the area his team took shelter, curious and satisfied eyes making contact with something like fearful ones, they only smiled.

[yume-x-hanabi]

Concubinage Behind the Scenes - ch. 7

So apparently I forgot to cross-post a couple of these "behind the scenes" posts for my longfic I wrote a couple years ago, and since I'm about to resume this series, now's a good time to post them, starting where we left off at chapter 7.

(chapter | DW post | previous posts)

Aftermath of the beating

Thankfully, Arst was able to heal himself somewhat, so he's... well, still in pain, but less pain that he could have been. Not that it changes much—he's the type to push through and pretend he's fine anyway.

Plus, as I've mentioned before, he's got some practice at enduring beatings—and the ones he got in the past often happened in the middle of campaigns, so he sometimes had to go into battle still sore from the previous night's punishment. Not ideal at all.

Here it's just a training session, so it's more bearable, but still far from fun.

Lin's POV

Lin, as he'll explain in the next chapter, did have an inkling that Li was forcing the other trainees to submit to him, but he very naively thought he was just bribing them. He was not totally off-base tbh, that's something that happened a lot in the court: offer some gald here and there, and people look the other way.

Since Arst 'dared' to win against him, Lin was convinced that he would not be so easily corrupted. Despite how humiliating it is for him to lose in front of everyone, he finds it even more humiliating to have people fake defeat against him, so Arst actually treating him seriously was a much welcome change. That, coupled with their friendlier interactions as of late, actually made him pretty hopeful about the future of their relationship. Arst came back in a bad mood from that practice, but Lin chalked it up to him having had an argument with Li about the bribes or something.

The next day, they're facing each other again, and Lin is actually pretty excited about it (Arst, however, sees his smile and friendly banter as mockery). But then... Arst fakes a loss. He proves, in Lin's eyes, that he's no better than all the others who don't take him seriously. Lin is pretty crushed about it, and cuts his practice session short. (Here too, we have a misunderstanding, as Arst turns away before he sees the sadness and disapointment on Lin's face.)

While waiting for Arst to come back, Lin ponders what to do. He even briefly considers offering Arst more money than (what he thinks) Li did, but then he realizes that won't solve the actual problem. So he resolves to simply confront Arst about what happened. Which is... kinda big for Lin at the time, because he hates confrontation. It's a testament of how bothered he is about it that he's ready to address it head on.

Of course it doesn't go very well, and he's a bit taken aback by the sheer hostility Arst is now directing at him. That, plus Arst talking about "learning his lesson", eventually clues him in. He knows exactly what "teaching a lesson" means around here. So he tells Arst to undress for confirmation (dude, you could have just asked).

His first reaction is to jump into problem-solving mode. Arst is hurt = must stop the hurt. So he goes to his special stash of painkiller tea, all ready to share, but then he thinks of Minah and her healing abilities, and decides sending Arst to her would be even better. He makes up that pretense about fetching tea because 1. he's too shocked to think clearly and all the nonsense he was told about acting like a prince is taking over, and 2. he's got an inkling Arst wouldn't believe him anyway. So as long as he can get Arst to her, that's all that matters.

After Arst leaves, he probably spends the rest of the afternoon pacing around the room while processing everything he's just realized.

Minah

Oh Minah, my dear Minah. I think she was more middle-aged in my early concept of her, but then I decided a grandma-like character would be more fun. I didn't have much planned about her in terms of personality or anything, but she kinda... developed on her own within three lines lmao.

She's a bit of an odd one in that environment. Protocol? Traditions? Gender roles? Don't know 'em! Maybe it's because she's ran her shop on her own unbothered for so long, physically within the court but spiritually in her own little world, so she's not really bound by anything that happens around her.

She makes sure to stay as uninvolved as possible, and in return she's left unscrutinized. She's been there for so long she's practically part of the decor, in a way. So most people tend to overlook her. Need medicine? Go to old Minah! But aside from that they kinda forget she's there. Except Lin and a few others, who've come to enjoy her company and peculiar brand of wit.

Despite keeping her distance, she likes having company around, and she loves a good gossip. She was really looking forward to meeting Arst, so she got her wish there. Not the kind of introduction she expected, but definitely the highlight of her day.

She's really gifted with spirit artes, especially healing, which she started practicing since she was a child. She grew up playing assistant to her court healer father, so she developed an eye for illnesses and injuries pretty early on. This enabled her to notice that something was off about Arst. If this was a murder mystery, she'd definitely be the detective XD

Healing

I didn't set out to explore worldbuilding about healing artes from the start, but the more I brought them up, the more I naturally developed lore around it. I love giving a more in-depth spin to gameplay mechanics, so this was a good occasion. Healer Arst was something I'd decided on when I started, though. I loved the discovery that he was programmed to have Cure and Resurrection (unused data has always fascinated me!), and I wanted to make it an actual thing in a story. Since this is an AU, I thought that it would be the perfect setting for it. Especially since it'll be very useful to him here.

[schizosamwincester]

what fic are you most excited about working on? ❤️

Hmmmm. That definitely changes by the day. See the thing with schizophrenia is that you are bad at staying on topic. I have really let myself embrace that tangenting and bouncing around a lot is just my nature. Sometimes I'll get into this weird schizophrenia getting things done mode, where i just kind of lean into the way I'll constantly go "okay let's do this! Now let's do this! Now let's do this!" So I'm very much the same way with fics. I'll go wherever the wind blows me. So like two weeks ago? I was really really into my schizophrenia fics. Now, I haven't touched the schizophrenic!John since September first. Lately I'm on a trans girl!Dean kick again. I was really, really into that around June and basically forgot about it until someone reblogged my post about it and that got some traction and now I'm beyond obsessed again. I'm also itching a bit to write some more Samjohn. We'll see if that goes anywhere. Oh, and also schizophrenia means terrible memory, so I also will be super excited about an idea and then just completely forget I ever had it until one day I'm reminded of it and go "oh my god that was so great! I'm a genius!" and go back to writing it again.

I could be the kind of person to beat myself up for not just sticking to one project and finishing it, but like... why? I do this for fun and creative fulfillment. I do finish things eventually. Yeah, sure, I know damn well I won't finish all of my WIPs. I currently have 21. But this way I don't have to kill anything just on the basis of "I already have too many projects" or "I just need to focus on this right now" or whatever.

So currently? There's a trans girl sex worker Dean fic that I started ages ago and am itching to wrap up and finish because I really like it, there's one with trans girl Sam AND trans girl Dean that I've been thinking about, and I'm really into writing more sequels off Sissy and Sister... But I could end up on a different kick before either of those actually get done. Who knows? And I honestly don't care as long as I'm writing something. I just feel like shit if I don't write at all.

... I just realized I absolutely proved the whole "schizophrenics ramble and go on tangents" thing by turning this very simple question into a big explanation of how my brain works.

But basically, there's always a good chance that you'll be surprised by what fic I end up posting next because I am too.

[blimbo-buddy]

Man.. the scene I imagine with "Scourge" admitting he already wiped put a few clans in the past with no survivors just sends chills down my spine.

The looks on everyone's faces. Tigerstar is dead on the ground, and Scourge steps on him deliberately as he approaches and speaks.

---

Amid the eerie silence that followed, Scourge, the sinister leader of the Blood and Claws Empire, took a deliberate step forward. His armored clawed paw landed squarely on Tigerstar's lifeless body, and with a sickening crack.

With a flick of his crimson-red tail, Scourge licked his bloody metal claws, savoring the metallic taste. His gaze swept over the gathered cats, and his words cut through the night like a scythe through the underbrush.

"You have a choice," Scourge purred, "You can offer yourselves up for a quick death, or you can defy me and meet a fate far crueler and more painful than you can imagine, much like the fate that befell Tigerstar."

"I've already begun purging this land of the filth known as the Clans," Scourge practically spat the name like it was poison, his voice dripping with contempt. "Their archaic ways are going extinct, and it's only you four that remain. But don't worry, I'll make sure it's finished one way.." He extends his metal claws and sinks it into the earth. "or another."

Rusty's realization of just how heartless and unstoppable Scourge was began to dawn on him. His eyes widened in horror, and his breath quickened, bordering on hyperventilation, as the implications of Scourge's actions sank in.

Scourge had not only destroyed the Clans beyond their territory; he had ruthlessly wiped out kits, elders, and cats of all ages without second thought. The sheer brutality and mercilessness of the Empire left Rusty and the kingdom as well as the clan cats shaken to their core.

---

Lesson of the day: You fuck around and you find out.

This is a work in progress but OOOOHHH!! Imagine the sheer horror of not only was a cat with 9 lives killed in one fell swoop. The cat who killed them admitted that they massacred wiped other clans existence in their hatred of the clans.

The Empire going mad with revenge! Man I gotta design my "Scourge". He's really cool and I am trying to make him not exactly Tiny!Scourge from canon but also kind of same, y'know?

This scene is cool as shit, the implication of "Scourge" massacring so many innocent lives truly starting to dawn onto Rusty is great. Makes me wonder about Skyclan in the au (Forgot if you mentioned them before). Wonder if they were the first clan to have been wiped out by The Empire, forgot when the Empire formed though, and Skyclan disbanded plenty of years ago, so there's that plot hole. I'm curious how many cats from the Clans they've already wiped out, leaving the survivors scared and weakened.

If they've already killed like, a fuck ton of characters, I imagine that the newer cats to the Clans are Rogues or Loners or even Kittypets who join them. Hey, fixes up the family tree too! Now you just gotta figure how who dies and who lives

I get what you mean by the last part. The weird canon version of Scourge that then went on to make him some unreasonable, bloodthirsty, almost cartoonishly evil guy. But also not as cartoonishly evil. At least I think that's what you mean, I am very tired lol. I'm really excited to see your Kittypet Kingdom "Scourge"! You can tag me in the design whenever you post it, just so I don't miss it!

[slytherinshua]

He definitely gives off charismatic vibes through the screen, but in person must a different level. How did you survive? Lol

I would definitely love to see more concert clips (if you want to post them) but unfortunately I don't have discord (debating if it's something I should get though)

I'm so excited to watch Ha Hyunsang! I've only ever seen him in the context of Hoppipolla and he was amazing. I'll definitely let you keep you up to date haha. I'm so glad you think that about the other vocalist though! Ages ago whenever I'd heard one of their songs from superband (I think it must have been snooze or something?) I didn't like his voice. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, I just didn't seem to vibe with it. I do want to check gift out though

His dances are the cutest! When I was getting into Lucy, I happened to come across some of the live clips and I'd really enjoyed someday in the 21st century, but then when I saw Wonsang singing and dancing along to it I honestly fell in love with him. I loved his energy and excitement!!

I go by Violet (or Vi, whichever you want to call me haha). I need to update my page to say that, but I cba haha. (I saw you started to follow me! I will warn you, I'm a very boring person ahaha)

i swear on the stage in the center is just where sangyeop BELONGS and you can tell he loves performing so much SKDJKS HES SO FINE WHEN HE IS IN HIS ELEMENT. like i did not survive I MEAN TECHNICALLY I DID BUT I DIDNT.

i'll definitely sift through the rest of my clips and post some to tumblr hehe (any songs you wanna see?) discord is great for texting like i'm much more active on there and it's nice to have an active conversation but it also has an mb limit so some of my videos are too big for it even when i clip them to be like 10 seconds 💀💀 idk what tumblr's mb limit for videos or what it is but i feel like its much bigger than discord lol. but discord is so fun when you can watch videos together plus there's tons of kpop servers so you can make new friends <3

i fell in love with hyunsang on superband (i think everyone did lol) but then when i finished watching it i kinda forgot abt him?? but my youtube showed me one of his covers and i thought his voice was so beautiful and then i realized it was him from superband. and now he's one of my ult soloists his solo music is crazy good :( i really wanna get more into hoppipolla, i didn't stan them yet since they're pretty inactive rn so i just keep up with hyunsang atm. but i've heard some hoppipolla songs and i love them they're great <3 and yeah i mean like there's nothing really wrong with the vocalist they had on superband but his voice didn't really bring anything to lucy songs?? and you can even see when you watch crybird cover on superband vs the later performance they did of it with sangyeop that sangyeop's voice just FITS lucy perfectly. i couldn't imagine lucy songs without him they just sound so wrong.... i can't thank wonsang enough for making that choice to ask sangyeop to join cause he was what lucy really needed!! i've wanted to check out gift sometime as well like i really want to get into more bands cause i feel like i don't stan enough rn lol

the way he just looks like he enjoys performing sm :( hes always dancing and smiling at everyone in the audience and when his part comes on he sings it so cutely KSDJSK I LOVE HIM :((

ooo okay!! i'm zanna but you probably already saw that from my blog lol and you def don't seem like a boring person from these asks like i love answering them and talking to you <33

[mikodrawnnarratives]

Going through and organizing my files since I've decided to order them by year and month now instead of fandom, which I wish I was doing before

And I realized I forgot I was going to post these but l i f e got in the way and I forgot

So older, messy sketches + messy writing but it's pnf crossover hehehe

List of reasons why pnf crossover is genius in no particular order

1 Phineas and Ferb have a lot in common with Glamrock freddy when you think about it. Not even just the ones that I wrote down a month ago. Phineas and Freddy (and ferb but he's not shown) would most definitely get along

Also, Gregory and Phineas and Ferb are around the same age so (if gregory is 12 then Phineas and Ferb aren't that far behind if aged up a little)

2

3 If the glamrocks were based on the 80's and lived in the same universe as phineas and ferb... they would be fans of Lindana I don't make the rules.

Linda at the Pizza Plex would have a blast with the nostalgia

4

5 I wish I got out a better drawing to demonstrate but I just have a gut feeling that out of everybody in the cast, Isabella would be the one Gregory grows closest with.

At first maybe liked her the most since she's a firescout girl and he has a trend with sticking to who is useful to him. But idk I like the idea that maybe later they get to bond a bit more

What about Phineas and Ferb being his friends? We'll get to why they aren't immediately the best candidates later lolllll

And

The daycare attendant and the gang would be entertaining af together and you know it.

I got a WHOLE lot more reasons but these are the ones that have a drawing to go with them

Oh I also have this that I just remembered

Dorito chip head phineas

OH OH AND

For the sake of this crossover we are going to pretend this isn't true for a little bit

okay? okay good

And the fact that security breach most likely takes place in march

We are scooching it over to the summer and pretend it's like a year or two after pnf ending for crossover purposes

[nodutra19]

I've Been Mulling Over Utena (SPOILERS)

Alright, if you're watching Utena now or are planning to do so, skip this post cuz I'mma spoil, like the whole thing.

WARNING FOR MENTIONS OF SA, CSA, INCEST, AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE

A few weeks ago I finished Utena. I discovered it through one of Noralities videos, I think, and some time later ordered the Blu-Rays when they were on sale.

I really wasn't sure what I expected in all honesty. I had little to no preconception of it. I think by the time I got the Blu-Rays I'd completely forgotten everything Noralities or from whoever I discovered it had said; I even forgot about an old meme on my phone that puts Utena avis at the tail end of Communist.

I've been mulling over just what I experienced, and I think I have something of an interpretation of one element of the series, although I imagine the Ikuhara scholars have long beaten me to this conclusion.

I watched Noralities's video (don't bother informing me on drama or controversies, I'm too old to care about shit like that. I only care if they're bigots and have committed material harm, and I don't mean just property. If they're not like Vaush or any given alt-right YouTuber, I don't care) on Nanami since I really wasn't sure how to feel about her, and it definitely opened my eyes to things.

In my eyes, this series is very much about intimacy, particularly the ways our comprehension and expression of it can be warped to exploit us. Before Akio's sins are shown to the audience, we see Nanami's fixation on Touga, and one's response might be to either fetishize it or mock her and her behavior, but she's literally 13.

In a sense, a sibling is the "safest choice" of a "prince." Unlike the others bond in life, you don't have to forge it: the set-dressing is already there for you. There's a pre-established connection, especially if you're like Kazuo and Miki. It's an almost primeval love, a love one can stay in if they so choose, but like the chick they will only suffocate and die within its shell like the ageless members of Ohtori. This is at least from the point of someone like Nanami, and I say that as someone who was once similar to her.

I'm not going to get into details, but my abuser and I once played with such ideas. I 12, they 14. They shipped Ken and Minako from Persona 3, which should tell you everything. I was the "Ken" in her mind, and she did indeed infantalize me. Maybe I'm being too dramatic, but this was my experience. I was "into it," but shortly after we broke off, I came to realize how strange it was, and the whole sordid ordeal cast a shadow over me until I was 16. We started off as simply playing as siblings, me wanting a "Big Sister's Affection," and they a Little Brother to dote on, but things developed. I was pressured into dating, mostly through guilt-tripping, putting me in the position of a caretaker, as one who must clean the mess she makes, at one point her threatening suicide if I left, her cutting me off from my friends like all abusers do.

This was very much the theme in my experience.

The fixation Nanami has on Touga is the most explored and thus illuminates the disconcerting synchronicity the characters experience in their betrayals and troubles.

Kozue and Miki are a more disturbing mess of tangled intimacy and affection, and this could be attributed to the lesser age gap. Nanami can be curtly dismissed as a childish attachment, but the closer maturity between the Kaoru heightens how frightening such attachments can be, especially for twins. Their bond is embryonic, beyond primeval.

And by consequence of being like Nanami, this also means I was much like Tsuwabuki, a child who through unhealthy images disseminated in society comes to believe and perform ideals antithetical to his development, maturity, and health. Nanami, like my abuser, as Noralities points out, repeats the cycle she herself is blind to, and because her main example has been glamorous images of knightly princes at night and day atop pale horses eternally in love, specifically Touga, she unwittingly and subconsciously mimics him in her treatment of the younger compatriot who himself has been taught to tangle emotional and physical intimacy and perhaps even to suffer mistreatment.

Later on, Touga essentially assaults Nanami, and here Kunihiko and the crew clarify that what Nanami desires isn't sex or even romantic love. At first I was confused on what she wanted, but then an idea came: Nanami herself is confused because she's been confined to Touga and the imagery of men like him carved in stone and painted in art.

This has been me blowing out my ass despite how fancily I can write. I hope I was able to provide a long-time fan with some insight. I guess I've come to Nanami's defense, eh? I guess I was embarrassed of her because she reminded me so much of myself. Maybe that's her point.

Maybe I've been analyzing fantasms, I dunno, y'all tell me.

[inkofamethyst]

March 25, 2024

(I forgot to hit post on March 23 but the content still applies)

daylist: funny scratch saturday afternoon (heavy rock, new age rock, indie rock, garage band)

The funniest thing about this particular playlist is that a song by lovejoy was selected for it. I didn't know wilbur's band was called lovejoy until just a few days ago and have never listened to any of his music because I'm generally weird about new music lol. Anyway I'm putting myself out there these days and was jamming to the song pretty hard unconsciously. Then I momentarily paid attention to the accent, recognized the voice, and confirmed the band name. UGH a shame because the sound is actually kinda decent.

ChatGPT is wild actually. Like it's such an effective tool. I went to a presentation on it last semester which opened my eyes (and minimized my fear) on how it can be effectively used. Recognizing that anything it puts out is merely a solid form of the roughest draft is the most important thing, I think. And I can't personally just copy/paste the answers because I was taught to double space after a sentence by my father despite that no longer being recommended practice (it apparently makes my text look like a 50-year old lol). And then I've started using it (specifically, the free four questions on Bing Copilot Creative Mode hehe) to help teach me about coding and stuff which has been really cool (though there are some quirks about going from a python script to a web app directly which might make it harder to create exactly what I'm envisioning (harder, but not necessarily impossible)).

My sister is having a bit of an issue with being compared to me by strangers after they learn about me being in grad school. The whole "oh wow, how will you ever live up to that!" routine. And I think people just aren't thinking when they say stuff like that (I've actually been on the receiving end once when the person thought I was my sister and I was immediately confused (because why??? would you say something like that to anyone) then ready to throw down (because my sister excels in her own right, and even if she didn't, it'd be rude to say so!!!)). Like they don't realize how it feels to be told that frequently, even if it is a joke. It's barely been half a year, and she's already fed up and so am I. I'm trying to come up with responses she can give to people to make them reflect, but I'm not witty enough to get through my frustration that she has to experience this in the first place. So.

Today I'm thankful to have living grandparents. I'm thankful to know them, to have known them, I'm thankful to have descended from them. I'm thankful to have descended from a line of people who would see something they wanted and would stop at nothing to become the best there is at what they do. I'm thankful that their work ethic, their pride, their stubbornness, their empathy flows in my veins.

[fostersffff]

I've got free time at work and was able to collect my thoughts on everything up to Episode 4 (still haven't read the Tea Party or ????? because work), so let's break it down:

Beato and Beatrice

Much in the same way that there's Maria and MARIA, Ange and ANGE Beatrice and Eva and EVA Beatrice, I'm gonna firmly put down that I think Beatrice, the Golden Witch and Beato are two different entities. This isn't super bombastic since that's literally shown towards the end of Episode 4, where Beato (schoolgirl outfit) tags in Beatrice (witch outfit) because she's depressed that Battler can't remember... something.

This is also obviously the crux of how Beatrice can say "I didn't exist six years ago and the problem isn't between Battler and Beatrice"

Beatrice's Goal (+ What's Up With Virgilia)

At this point, I also think that- much like no matter who survives becoming a sacrifice for the epitaph, everyone ultimately dies- whether Beatrice wins or loses against Battler, she will "die". I think that if she were to win, and be acknowledged as a witch, she would shed "Beato" and truly become Beatrice, the Golden Witch, and I think that if she loses, she would shed "Beatrice" and go back(?) to being Beato. And, the way that she talks at the end of Episode 4 and the above flashes that happen before the proper end of the episode (especially the "please, I don't c... what conclusio... ust kill me and... my story to an e"), it seems like she's given up on becoming a witch. But, because of her pride (or something) she can't just surrender, so she's going to make Battler earn it.

By extension, as her teacher, I think Virgilia wants what's best for Beato. I think she thinks the best thing would be for her to not become a witch, but she did what she did at the end of Episode 3 because it was like "well, shit, we're already here, and even if this isn't the optimal outcome, it's an outcome versus the alternative of there not being one". Which also explains why she's such a boob in every other situation.

Battler's Sin and Battler's Mom

My gut reaction to when Beatrice started asking Battler if Asumu was his mom was that it was going to be revealed, or suggested, that Beatrice is his mom. Upon closer examination, I don't think that tracks in any way whatsoever, but I do think who Battler's real mom is is significant... somehow.

Kyrie told Leviathan that she and Asumu were pregnant at the same time, but because Asumu was pregnant first, she got married to Rudolf. She also explained that Asumu had Battler, and that Kyrie's son was stillborn. Is it possible there was some weird switcheroo at the hospital due to Important Family Shenanigans. Like, it'd be weird, but not impossible, if Asumu and Kyrie gave birth on the same day, but maybe Asumu was actually the one to give birth to the stillborn son, but because she was married to Rudolf, he/the Ushiromiya family bribed the doctors to switch the babies to preserve his honor or some nonsense like that.

EDIT: while looking back through the tag for my "how to filter these posts" post, I realized I forgot Kyrie explained, explicitly, that she and Asamu gave birth on the same day, so...

The simultaneously less-and-more far-out theory is that there's a third woman. Which is why I initially thought Beato, but that don't make sense: Beatrice, the mistress/homonculus died in 1968, judging from Rosa's childhood memory and the captain saying deliveries to Kuwadorian stopped that year. There was no physical manifestation to be his mom, and even if there was; why would Rudolf be the father, and not Kinzo?

Wait Hold Up I Just Thought Of Something

Could Beato be Battler's Young Aunt? If Kinzo had a child with the mistress/homonculus before her death, she would be roughly the same age as Battler... maybe Battler ran into her at Rokkenjima six years ago and violently rejected her existence as his aunt/family? And the fact that this young girl was kept a secret by Kinzo in emotionally abusive conditions, and the fact that her first meeting with any of her relatives went so poorly set her down the current path, and why she would only "reveal herself"/get along with Maria, who had similarly abusive circumstances?

I think this is gonna be my pocket theory going forward