#i've heard they run a lot.
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god i wish i could go back to the md wiki i really fucking miss it.
#however! one of the bureaucrats is an asshole. for many reasons.#and i have personal issues with them.#i wish they would just fucking step down already because apparently they arent even active much anymore like they've stated that.#they have a replacement in place that mainly runs the place but they for some reason refuse to fully step down.#murder drones#like if they just stepped down and became an admin i would consider going back because like. there is no reason for them not to be#theres already a bureacrat. just fucking step down you ain't even active PLUS you have like idk 3+ other wikis you run#and thats only 3 i know of#i've heard they run a lot.#and not even well either#they completely left a mod out of a really important rule discussion because the mod didn have discord which was well known#they purposefully ignored them because the new rule also impacted the mod because it was about what could be posted#like banning fanfic and like. describing ocs under fan art. which#nobody liked and a lot of people threatened to leave after that.#they ended up changing it but the damage was done#their excuse was “ we have a fanon wiki for that ” however that fanon wiki was literally a dumpster fire. it was. a disaster. like. not saf#i could go on but like. it would be a lot.
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#girlfriend LOTS of things. wink wink nudge nudge#i am so HAPPY#i was so worried earlier#i've heard her lines with dammon when you're dating her; 'can we go to bed now?' in a really hopeful teary voice#but that didn't happen to me. i was worried the console thing had broken it#but NOPE#WOO#real coffee hours#bg3#loz#zelda#botw#the zelda bg3 run thing
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my mum died last night
#i was with her. i spoke comforting words to her as her breathing slowed#she didn't suffer - she wasn't in any pain. she heard me and became slower and slower then i... saw her die#i never predicted i'd be there at the moment of death#it was her time. her body had been slowly shutting down the last three days and she'd been officially dying for 5 months#she was so strong. she was hanging on for me. needing to know i'd be able to survive with her gone#once it was clear that things were gonna be fine (besides the emotional toll) she started to truly let go#i've been with her whenever i could be the last three days. and night nurses watched her as i slept#last nights nurse woke me to be with her in her final moments#besides hearing me talk the last few days - i was also running star trek for her to listen to#she couldn't communicate or move but we all knew she was aware of things around her#i gave her words of reassurance and comfort and the last words she heard me say were ''i love you''#and three days ago before she lost the ability to speak the last words she managed were ''i love you''#so things went as well as they could be considering the situation#she died a little over 12 hours ago. it was 7 hours before they could take the body away. that was. haunting#it's been a rough day. worst day of my life. but mum is at peace now. and i have a lot of kind people to support me#everything will be okay eventually and i have my whole life ahead of me and mum wants that life to be good#so i musn't give up. now matter how depressed i feel
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I've been playing slitherio these past few days, and after some time messing around with nicknames and my own experience with the stuff, I've realized anger is something very easy to weaponize. On my second attempt of having "trans rights" as a nickname I killed a huge ~5k point worm as a teenie tiny 200 point worm simply because it was so desperate to kill me specifically. Anger makes your life harder, but it also makes people really unwise. I fucking bet this is in "the art of war", even though I haven't read it.
#Slitherio#Slither.io#If all these russian and pro war bastards can make me angry I damn bet I can try and make them mad too lol#It's such a pity pride flags aren't available in slitherio idc if the creators hate lgbt or not this is a great game mechanic#Users are easy to miss and if I'm a 6000 point long 💕🔵⚪🔵💕 worm people will go to me to fuck me up lol#Did I mention that I got to like 6200 barely attacking other worms myself? I don't think I did#I didn't count how much I attacked though so it doesn't count I should do a full defence kills run#If I play optimally I can get to a very big number I feel#You guys should try it too it's actually surprisingly fun if you're the kind of person to let go of things#Again though one good rule I learned these past few days is if someone's nickname makes you angry -> turn the other way#Being named 'trans rights' made me a target but also people attacking me were so much sloppier than when I was named 'meow'#It might be largely bc of the sheer number of attempts but hey. I've been there & I lost a few times specifically bc I was mad at some ppl#//interesting#Is the art of war a hard read though? Has anyone read it? I've heard it's fun#Oh yeah the mandatory vacation is messing with me a lot how'd you guess that?#Just don't think what this constant and never ending aggression towards a slogan in support of someone's existence in an online game says#about what it's like living in the world for these people#I've been mad at this at first but I'm starting to dig the shitty/absent censorship of both bigoted and also gay things. No hear me out...
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wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.
#friday chats#friday vs post-secondary school#tw vent#(in the following tags)#i am immeasurably stressed right now#i need to talk to my doctor about getting a booster to go along w/my adhd meds#bc this has been a problem for a while but i think it's about to come to a head#and i'm very scared for when that happens#maybe also talk to my school's disability services#bc Good Fucking God i'm already overwhelmed#it's 11:56. should i just go to bed? i have so many things left to do#when do i even have the time to go to disability services. and i've heard a lot of schools' processes w/that are slow and overcomplicated#fuck. fuck fuck fuckity fuck.#i think i'm spiraling#i'm worried that if i don't get a degree i won't be able to find a nice enough job to support myself independent of my family#and i don't want to be stuck with them forever#i really really don't#maybe i can talk to disability services sometime tomorrow morning. see what they can do#i think there's mental health services too. i hope they're decent#i just feel really bad right now. and it's only week one.#it feels like time's moving too fast but too slow at the same time#classes take forever but my free time zips by and runs out way too quick#and when it's gone i've completed maybe one or two things. out of several. if any at all.#i just don't know what to do. it's only been three days.#maybe i can drop a class; i think i'm taking enough to still be considered a full-time student with one less thing on my plate#i hope so#fucking damn it#how do people do this??? for multiple years????#and i feel selfish for saying this but i hope if y'all see this post you'll interact with it somehow. even just a like.#i want to know someone hears me
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Funniest ask anyone has ever sent me so far. Will love to use this as a reaction picture thank you from the bottom of my heart
#Okay for some reason this time hater-chan hit harder than usual I've been crying for an hour#but tbh that's probably more about having spent 10 hours at university today running on four hours of sleep and no lunch–#than the asks themselves akzdvisbsjeks#Wrote a longest rant post. Deleted it. Got a reality check feeling much better now 👍#67 asks though? Really?#At least get it to 88. I've heard that's a great number but I wouldn't be able to tell you why 🤔#Finally SORRY for breaking my rule of never addressing anon hate I just found this hilarious aksbdvskdbek.#And trust me they've said A LOT of fun things to me. Like that I'm white (?) or that I'm an Akutagawa stan (????)#But this outdid them all#It's a screenshot though so it doesn't count#random rambles
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finally got beat the elden ring dlc after playing it for like 4 days.
all in all I can safely say it's peak elden ring. (spoilers below the cut btw)
the soundtrack is great, voice acting and characters are amazing, the new weapons and spells I got to play with were pretty fun even if some of them aren't all that great. I have no complaints for the time and money I spent on it.
save for one thing.....
Promised Consort Radahn feels just a bit too overtuned. I think I get what they were going for to be fair. It really does feel like you're getting double teamed by a god and his consort. I just felt that the hp you have to chew through is a *smidge* too high for how much the game is asking you to do all of the sudden. Unless you have some crazy fucking damage set up that can kill him super quick, you are going to be fighting him for a long ass time.
Roughly 3 minutes and 43 seconds for me and my catch flame build doing about 1500 damage per cast. Just under 4 minutes may not sound like a long time but once you're fighting him you can fucking feel each second crawl as he keeps on the pressure.
Otherwise I think he's an amazing sendoff to an amazing dlc.
anyway here's my victory lap on Placidusax after completing the dlc
:3
#elden ring#I know this is just one guy's opinion and all but I wanted to at least shout into the void#especially after spending like 3 hours total of attempts (not including breaks and naps of course)#I've heard a lot of negativity about the final boss and I can see where those comments are coming from#but I still think after being put through hell and back that he was a pretty cool boss#would probably fight him again after like a couple week long break#then again this is coming from the guy who likes to refight malenia on every run cuz she's a cool as hell fight#so grain of salt I guess
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Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy
You have... very very very very very very very very smart people you know, and they're say something that not only isn't true, but literally is as opposite of the truth as it's possible to be... and you'll... gently inform them "hey, it's actually a bit more like this" and then they just kinda... go on saying literally the exact same thing
I'm not sure if it's just that... I often feel like I must be very bad at communicating, or people must just not notice/ignore a lot of what I say, but... I don't know
Like dearest friend, you've said something as absurd as... I don't know, it's hard to say without saying it, but honest to god about as absurd as saying the United States was a part of the USSR, that level of completely getting it backwards
...and it just doesn't seem to matter when I try to explain it... I legit don't even know if you read what I said
Really end up feeling like I'm going nuts sometimes
#to be clear; I don't mind people disagreeing with me (though that's not what's happened here... I don't think I came into it at all)#but all I need in order to be able to work with disagreement is just... knowing you at least heard and understood me#like if it's 'I get that you think that vanilla is a good flavor of icecream; but I really prefer chocolate'... ok; this works for me#it's that... a lot of the time it honest feels more like 'what are you talking about? vanilla isn't a flavor' where... huh?#let's take a real example; not everyone needs to agree with me on nuclear#but like... someone saying 'I get that it's way safer these days; but I still worry about waste storage'... well ok then#but if it's just like 'but it's dangerous and will explode' even after I've explained about the designs now#where there's a salt plug that with melt and drain before anything can happen; and these materials don't like to run away#...and it's not like they're asking me to back up the source; it's like I never said anything at all...#what am I supposed to do here? you feel me on that? do you start to get why I feel like I'm going crazy when that's how it often feels?#no one is obliged to agree with me but... literally just active listening would fix this... say you heard me and we're good#acknowledge that I voiced something and it's been noted#honestly... honestly my who life it's felt like I must somehow actually be invisible#...to an extent maybe I'm a figment of my own imagination; I might well be a ghost that's lonely and makes you all up#...for all the impact my actions have#or maybe literally everything I say just comes out garbled... is that it?#this post is about something very specific; but it's also about something that happens a lot with a lot of different people#on a broader scale; why is it no one else seems to be able to connect the dots#and these aren't like... conspiracy theory dots; these are like russia buys drones from Iran; therefore russia and Iran are partners#that's the kind of dots I'm talking about connecting; please tell me that's not a conspiracy theory to you... it seems plain to me#I don't know... I really don't... I don't think much I say will ever have any impact anywhere on anyone#...honestly a good 90% of the time people don't even respond to what I say#not like my posts here; I mean direct in dms or whatever; I'll say stuff and it's just silence or a new subject#again; across multiple people; it's common... it's... I think it happens more often than it doesn't#I can instantly name 4 conversations with 4 different people that's happened with lately#and that's not counting the 3 where I know the reason why it's happened#I really am something unfit to live; the evidence is endless#mm tag so i can find things later
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Alright while putting tags in something I rebloged I thought of a real fun sibling dynamic thing between pre-tadpole Durge and Orin that I found funny enough that I'm making it a separate post too
(Keep in mind I am imagining my Durge in this, but hopefully overall it's general enough that it can apply to other Durge's)
I like to imagine Durge and Orin having some sort of sibling bickering and annoying each other dynamic but more demented and violent even if Durge may be a lot older than her depending on the Durge. Like the two attempting to attack (maybe kill) the other as a greeting, like throwing knives at the other when they walk into the room. Then laughing at the other if they don't dodge on time or dodge clumsily
Orin purposefully leaves her art/"corpse dollies" in the way and in places she knows will irritate or inconvenience Durge. Durge retaliating by just starting to eat them right in front of Orin. Orin yelling at Durge to stop and maybe even trying to stab them or something to get them to just drop the corpse.(maybe Orin tries to grab the corpse and pull it away from Durge but Durge won't let go so it's like they're playing tug-of-war with it or something)
Maybe they leave random organs hidden in the other one's pillow or bed in ways meant to be uncomfortable just to irritate the other. Orin hiding some of Durge's vivisection tools and making them have to bribe her for the location or spend a while looking for them.
But then occasionally they give each other tips or pointers about various things. Maybe one of them will randomly discover a new weapon that the other one definitely gave them but it's never brought up
Maybe Durge sometimes will give Orin a corpse or person for her to play with while just not directly addressing what they're doing. Maybe both of them will go on hunts in the city together, where one sets up an ambush while the other lures an unsuspecting victim towards the other that they can kill together.
Maybe they sometimes had peaceful moments where Durge may have attempted to do Orin's hair, or would help her brush and wash it. Maybe Orin would sometimes follow Durge around because she admired/admires them and wants to be more like then, but whenever Durge questions what she's doing she'd just say something about making sure Durge doesn't fuck something up or that she's just happening to go the same direction.
I just really like the idea that the two of them were at least sort of close
#orin the red#durge#bg3 spoilers#I don't have any siblings so I'm not entirely sure how well this could reflect actual siblings. But a lot of people I know have siblings and#I've seen or heard of how they and their siblings interact so hopefully it's at least sort of accurate#Also I like to imagine that my Durge acted as a sort of mentor towards Orin alongside Sarevok for a time#and that Orin betrayed my Durge out of a mix of bhaal encouraging her Sarevok setting Durge and Orin against each other and her being#concerned and upset about how close Durge was getting to Gortash and how Durge had been spending less and less time woth her over the years#(busy running the cult planning for the apocalypse and working with the other cults in the city(mostly Gortash because they seem to have met#before even starting the plan for the Absolute)#Once again I'm mostly thinking of my Durge but hopefully this is overall general enough that it can apply to at least some other people's#Durge's too
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Hi!!! I Saw your illustrations about console repairs and I found it very beautiful, and wanted to tell you that :))
I also wanted to ask; can I use the text you wrote (with credit of course!) in another ilustration? Not for comercial purposes or anything, just some sketches to post here on tumblr! Also, what were your inspirartions for the prose?? Or the small zine in general?
YES THAT ALL GOOD WITH ME!! im flattered c:
personally i just have a huge love for the console repair / modding / homebrew scene, i've been following it for a few years now and have done some work on a wii and two 3ds models, plus one of the latter i had to do a notoriously hard screen replacement on. i'm very much a novice but i just really love the idea of keeping check with these machines not only to improve its usual functions but to have it do stuff beyond it's intended use. like you're working very close with it, i'm sure i'm reading too deep into but i think that's pretty cool.
this zine is a putting just a small tidbit of that love for the work and it's community, mostly just focusing on the people that do some simple upkeep with their consoles, especially older ones they've had tons of memories with throughout their lives. it's really sweet to me.
#fc speaks#i really want to get a ps2 next and try disc burning since i have a bunch of blank dvds and cds on me#...buuut apparently i have to dig for a specific model that runs the exploit i need to achieve that. womp womp#at least from what i've heard anyway. lots of research to do
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Randomly remembered the half-reason i call my oc-verse by the name it has while laying in bed. One-half of the reason i still knew, but I had forgotten what had truly, really cemented it jointly until now
(it was a song from my favourite band I haven't listened to in a while.)
(the song fit so well at the time, still does, that i needed to hold onto it for the main protagonists forever, by partially naming their story in reference.)
Does this explanation make any sense? Does anyone know why I'm tearing up remembering this. Aahh
#(I'm emotional because I've been feeling bad about it all lately. enjoying things I make I mean—art or ocs or frivilous things.)#(So remembering that song and when it came out. That I couldn't see them in person. But i held onto it my own way. As something I loved)#(Something I still do love a lot... Parts of me saying no—you don't hate it. No. I'll help you remember more. I'm a little misty about it.)#The song is just The Killers - Run For Cover. I couldn't see them in person all those years ago—family went without me.#All my new oc rework with Zin and Hunter and Caia were like a year old or so.#It's a little silly. But the character Zin's derived from was a lightning mage so I stuck to it—I like monhun's zinogre for what its worth#So there's recurring theme and imagery. Thunder's not lightning but the sound and the feeling after the flash the flame and strike.#There's that meaningful thought—the story is the aftermath of a big tragedy. It matches what I like in monsters and other chars.#And at that time—my favourite band I missed out on puts out a really good song I download everywhere and it goes like:#He motioned me to the sky/ I heard heaven and thunder cry/ Run for cover/ Run while you can baby don't look back/ You gotta run for cover#And it goes on of course. The rest of the song's still really good. There's more that fits but point is; More evocative imagery.#So there. Why my bundle of OCs—Zinadia Hunter and Caia's story—is called Thunder 20XX. minus the 20XX. That's tongue-in-cheek#About some day I'll manage to make something tangeable or broadly shareable with them. I guarentee this century!#Thunder... oh my darling Thunder. Eight years man. More than that if I really want to count pre-rework INTO the complete original work. but#I like that it's definably 8. I like that I remembered I've always loved them a lot. Always been my thing to lean on even by name...#I need to get to sleep. Ive gotten a little more emotional over one song than I'd rather regularly be. Give it a listen maybe? Goodnight#Armour clanking#I need an oc tag#What have you gathered to report to your progenitors?🎶Are your excuses any better than your senator's🎶He held a conference#and his wife was standing by his side🎶He did her dirty but no-one died🎶#I saw Sonny Liston on the street last-night black-fisted and strong singing🎶Redemption song🎶#He motioned me to the sky🎶I heard heaven and thunder cry🎶RUN FOR COVER#What are you waiting for—a kiss or an apology?🎶You think by now you'd have an A in toxicology🎶#It's hard to pack the car when all you do is shame us🎶Even harder when the dirtbag's famous🎶#I saw my mother on the street last night all pretty and strong singin🎶The road is long🎶#I said 'Mama I know you tried!'🎶But she fell on her knees and cried🎶RUN FOR COVER#Just run for cover - you've got nothin left to lose...
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return of the relationship anxiety
#i realize theres always a very good reason for these things but it's been longer rhan normal since i've heard from my bf#he didn't text me when he got home from work last night like he normally does#but maybe he was just rly tired and went to bed early#or maybe he just forgot to check his phone he does that sometimes#but he didn't text me this morning either#which maybe he was just running late for work again and didnt have time#that happens a lot#im also aware that i just felt off yesterday from a massive hangover so everything made me feel weird#theres no logical reason that he would break up with me#like we have a long ass list of movies to make each other watch and we're going to a concert together in november so obviously he's not#planning to end this soon#but the thing is i've tried to date guys who straight up ghosted me after being like 'yeah lets hang out again lets go to the movies'#and my roommates bf of a long ass time literally broke up with her out of nowhere despite them having plans to move in together#so i know from experience that its not outside the realm of possibility. which makes my anxiety worse and ever present
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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...
#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open#i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed#AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA#i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE#I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table#yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante#to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1#despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat#(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of#it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc#[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic#since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them#its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT#later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag#and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D#it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in#any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other#also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move#because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc#well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c#(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O#cruddy rambles
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every fall tumblr is like "oh m*ke fl*nagan makes horror for gay people" as if every horror film from the 80s through the 90s wasn't horror for gay people. do u think those two wet losers in scream 1996 weren't making out sloppy style behind the scenes or what. grow up
#horror for gay people actually is the nasty gory gross disgusting body horror movies. sorry#SORRY that hellraiser was specifically about gay people being othered and also featured weird little dudes with holes in their heads#sorry the lost boys had buckets of blood in it and was about moving states and suddenly joining a gay polycule. SORRY#anyway. michael seems like a nice man I've heard him speak about horror and it is with a reverence that I admire#I agree with him on a lot of points!#but every single horror show he creates makes me want to run full force into a wall looney toons style. respectfully#text post#horror tag
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Hello! I saw your post - how did you start teaching English in Japan?
Hi there! I looked at a few jobs on Go Overseas and reached out to a couple of recruiters. One of them got back to me and after an initial phone call, a video submission of why I wanted to apply, a video of a mock lesson, that same mock lesson over Skype and then an interview, I was offered a job. The recruiter then helped me sort out all the paperwork (visa etc).
If you want to know more about specifics (the recruiter, the company, any other details), feel free to send me a DM (I've temporarily opened them up!)
#what does the jay say#a lot of people go through JET too#another website that lists jobs specifically in japan (not just teaching) is gaijinpot#but you've gotta be CAREFUL there are some really awful companies#i had a friend end up working for a yakuza-run school :|#and i've heard some horror stories about gaba and nova so avoid those like the plague#anything that says it pays you per lesson is an automatic red flag#better going for jet or interac or peppy or aeon or jiec
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i don't know that i'll be sleeping tonight but at least i have good music
#listening to everything run the jewels has ever made. good lord#i knew el-p was good i just didn't know killer mike existed or that they'd done stuff together lol#most of the stuff i've heard that el-p has done is a lot less. Like. How do i put it#it's not easy listening. it rules but it's not something you could go jog down to the 7/11 to#unless your jog to the 7/11 wants to feel vaguely apocalyptic
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