#i've gotten stuck on maybe 2 or 3? but only for a few minutes before i saw the way forward
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i just started a new puzzle magazine this afternoon of 'suguru' something i hadn't tried before
i'm 25% of the way done with this
i've done almost 40 puzzles this afternoon/evening
would recommend suguru
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miimo96 Ā· 6 months ago
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Thoughts on TBHK Chapter 115
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Judging by the Cover Card it looks like this chapter is going to be focusing Heavily on the relationship between Kou and mitsuba in this timeline, since the last chapter ended with mitsuba asking for kou to join him in investigating the incident that happened with the Students missing after summoning a spirit AKA Tsukasa, I wonder if this will be like a Scooby doo mystery adventure for these 2 or if it will Entirely focus on them at all like in the Aquarium date a few Chapters back, or heck if we even see any other characters show up like yashiro or hanako, or if This will focus on anything that I had predicted last Chapter, well only 1 way to find out
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Ok 2 things: 1 I'm surprised I Actually remembered who the f#%k this guy was the Minute I saw him since it's been like Chapter 1 when he was 1st introduced and was just there to drive the plot forward, 2 is yashiro in this timeline Still the Same as episode 1, like is She Still the girl that is So desperate for love that she will literally ask anybody if it means even having some sort of a "chance" and that She Never changed Staying the way used to, and 3, TAKE YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF HER YOU TROGLODYTE, The hell you mean if She gives you an "interesting" confession She'll be your TENTH Girlfriend, Sry but she's taken; I'm actually kinda worried that's he's back because when Stuff like this happens, it usually means we're Getting closer to the End, Omg I'm not ready šŸ˜°šŸ˜°
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There ya Go yashiro get the eff away from Him, I'm glad that he got the headbutt treatment she likes to do to Our sweet boy Servers him right, also the fact that she did a freaking somersault and Stuck the landing while getting out of dodge immediately is Just Hilarious šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ *sigh* I miss Hanako so much....
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Already this is Starting to become one of My favorite chapters omg I love that she's Finally realizing how Stupid she used to be before meeting hanako, always being manipulated into doing things for other people, always asking out people who Never truly even cared for her, always just being the classic "Doormat" shoujo protagonist she was, Glad She's finally realizing how much growth and character development she's had ever since meeting kou and Hanako, God I love this series ^^
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šŸ˜¦šŸ˜§šŸ˜Ø No way omg no way Did I call it Omg please
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AHHHHHH!! OMG šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ HANAKO šŸ˜¢
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Wait what was it all a Dream omg my Heart Damn it Aidairo why!? šŸ˜«
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Ngl this scene hurt, I went completely silent reading this part, and wow just, wow, Seeing hanako's/ Amane's life and what it is/could've been really hurts and yashiro's tears in this Scene just speak louder than any words possible, God This chapter is so Good šŸ˜£
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Ok firstly is it me or is My boys rocking the DRIIP, secondly this Show has gotten Way more Darker than when it 1st started, the fact that this Went from being a Show about ghost stories and spooky stuff, with just a tad bit of Dark topics to it, To literally now giving me Straight Gravity falls season 2 vibes is Really telling me a lot, also Kou in this timeline seems to be a lot more experienced when it comes down to being an Exorcist, the way he was just talking and examining the situation shows that He's no longer a Noob when it comes to this sort of thing, and is a lot more trained than he let's on Which pretty awesome
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Bruh this series is Not holding back Anymore whatsoever, this is just Straight TERRIFYING šŸ˜…
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Oh yeah that's Totally Not Nightmare fuel at All, Wow when did this Series become so horrifying, Also this is NOT Tsukasa, this is that Mother effing THING, till this day I still don't understand what this thing is and What it wants, all I know is that it's the freaking Hole the Kannagis were being sacrificed to and that the real Tsukasa sacrificed himself to in the Red house, I've always had a thought that Maybe just maybe a bit of him was still in their after the Red house arc and that he was just fighting or switching out from time to time, But from what I'm seeing It looks like the Thing has Taken him over COMPLETELY in this timeline, Tsukasa is Gone, this just a Shell, an empty husk Wearing his face; yep it's official, This is Absolutely One of my favorite Chapters Now, Omg I can't wait ^_^
Also the fact I was right about that the Next chapter was going to be focusing more on Yashiro, Makes me so FREAKING happy ^^ YEAH! I CALLED IT
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morroodle Ā· 1 year ago
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Towards the end of day 4 of top surgery recovery and figured I'd share how it's going. Idk if this can help anyone else but its at least going to help me. Prepare for out of order chaos
The pain isn't too bad! Like yea it hurts but I got used to it and I can take pain meds to help
Getting out of bed is a pain in the ass though. Going from laying down to sitting up is HARD (it's definitely not because I have no abs)
Speaking of pain: the drains. They don't hurt by themselves but when I shift wrong and they tug? Not fun. Not sure how to explain it but pinching isn't inaccurate
Drain fluid. Does not smell good. It's not a very strong smell and you get used to it pretty fast but it's still not fun
I also. Do not smell good. God I can't wait to shower
My mom spilled the drain fluid on me. Twice. Ew.
It's fuckn ITCHY. Always just below where I can reach through the bandages. I am going to kill someone.
Other itches are annoying too. They may not be covered by bandages but with such limited mobility it's annoying. I got a back scratcher but those don't help much when you can barely move your arms
I've probably been moving more than I'm supposed to
Love it when I move wrong and suddenly there's pain and a very suspicious warm feeling and I can't check to see what's wrong because of the bandages
Bendy straw my beloved <333 the $20 ninjago cup I got from legoland is finally making itself worth it
The first day I was incredibly nauseous. I could barely sit up for a few minutes, much less stand. Made eating dinner... not easy.
Day 2 I was feeling great! Even touched some grass!
Day 3 morning: nearly threw up when changing my shirt. I didn't but oh god it was not fun. I've never been nauseous like that before, I was hot inside but my skin was cold and my mom said the color very literally drained from my face. Made me stuck in a chair for like 20 minutes until I could stomach going back to bed.
I'm fine now (probably)
I've been enjoying being taken care of. I'm lucky enough to have a very good support system and I appreciate it. I also appreciate always getting my pic of food >:D
God I want a hug. I'm gonna get so squished once I'm healed and I fully accept my fate
Mentioning again my hatred for the drains. I was very scared of them going into this, I didn't like the idea of having tubes both in and out of my body. I don't really care about that now, I don't see it and I've gotten used to it, but god they are so annoying
I'm not nearly as tired as I was expecting! Sure I'm a bit sleeper than normal but it's really not that bad.
I'm bored
I wanna draw ;-; I havent had motivation or ideas for weeks but the moment it becomes inconvenient? Release the floodgates!
I haven't actually noticed the lack of boobs much yet. Maybe it's because they're still bandaged and I can't see or maybe it's because I live in my mastectomy pillow but I haven't really had a rush of emotions yet
It's kinda weird. I was expecting to feel so much but everything so far just feels so... normal? It's not normal but I've gotten used to it. Its like I'm waiting for my emotions to catch up
That being said there is one thing I've noticed and definitely felt things about. I had a pretty big chest and there used to be quite a dip between them and now there's just... nothing. It's flat. I'm sure this is just a fraction of what I'll feel when I get the bandages off for the first time but this tiny bit that I can see and feel right now is... wow. It's weird. God I can't wait for the rest of it
That's all I can think of for now, I'll keep yall updated on how things go from here and hopefully this can help someone! I know most of this has been complaining but I am not trying to discourage anyone from this, I've just only experienced the bad parts so far. I'm sure I'll make a similar post listing all the positives once I get there but for now things aren't very fun
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bisluthq Ā· 1 month ago
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When you quit drinking, did you replace that with something else? Like for me, I realized on the weekends if I have something planned, even as late as 3-4 PM, I won't drink that day cuz it's like I know later I need to drive to this thing and go interact with people and be normal. But if I don't have any concrete plans, if it's just like "I need to go to the grocery store at some point today, and then clean my bathroom" then I'm like "why shouldn't I have mimosas at 9 AM?" and then I end up getting completely smashed and can't go to the store later and can't effectively do any chores. I realized that about myself so now I schedule things with friends during the weekends, preferably earlier in the day, so then when I get home I'm like "now it's time to meal prep and clean, and maybe I'll have a glass of wine in a few hours with dinner". Idk I've gotten a lot better at cutting down alcohol, but those wide-open days for me just inevitably lead to me drinking early, even if I've said and committed that I don't want to. It's only when other people are involved in the plans ("I have to meet them here at 1" or whatever, vs "I should go to the store at 11") that I can stop myself drinking. So it's annoying, because I KNOW I can, I just don't have the discipline or willpower to do it if I'm not gonna be directly letting someone down. I don't have anywhere to be til 8 PM tonight lol so even though I was like "it'll be a sober Monday! I'm gonna clean my bathroom and declutter my closer" I still ended up drinking 2 beers and a glass of wine while doing that
ok so this was a lot of how my drinking went dude. Your story is FUCK relatable to me. Except for in the pandemic where I literally wasnā€™t leaving my house for obvious reasons and then my bed for depression reasons that I do think were interrelated to the drinking (although Iā€™ve been feeling very down the last few days but Iā€™m powering through with no alcohol), I was not a daily drinker and I never got drunk like before important activities or things that I was looking forward to (a few times I did get drunk before social things I was dreading but thatā€™s a separate thing). But if I was just chilling at home, either on weekends as you say or late at night, I would often wind up drinking.
I havenā€™t replaced it with anything like in terms of substances. I do see myself as California sober not sober sober so Iā€™m open to edibles and shrooms but the thing with me is Iā€™ve never been someone who overindulges in that. Itā€™s something I only do like when Iā€™m with friends who are into that or just with my boyfriend and we want a trippy night. I *have* replaced it with actively getting into other hobbies again and I have a habit tracker where Iā€™ve put in all the things I like to do and if Iā€™m bored I go into the app and look at what I could do today. So personally Iā€™ve got running, yoga, gym class, drawing, Duolingo, reading, this blog, journaling, writing fiction, whatever DIY project Iā€™m busy with in terms of my little furniture stuff, meditation, etc and I track how many minutes and hours a day I spend on all that stuff outside of work which I obviously donā€™t count in my fun little app. I also try call friends or text with friends if Iā€™m feeling bored like that. And then Iā€™ve been making more complicated food instead of just popping shit in the air fryer or ordering takeout. I have a guitar that I havenā€™t played in like 10 years that Iā€™m considering starting to play again.
But also itā€™s just a habit right (well obviously not with people who have physical addictions and there you need to be careful how you come off it) so justā€¦ break the habit. Again, I found quit lit really helpful and enjoyed the following books a lot: This Naked Mind, Not Drinking Tonight (itā€™s a bit heavy in psych babble so not for everyone but was really cool for me), Alcohol Lied To Me, Alcohol Explained, Soberful and maybe ESPECIALLY Sober Curious. There are a couple other really great ones but those stuck out to me. Also reading quit lit just helped me a lot because I was just like constantly drumming it into my head that I donā€™t need to/want to drink and that itā€™s the stuff that powers fucking rocket engines right like they use ethanol in rocket fuel lmao idk that I want to put that in my body (but I like Sober Curious in that maybe one day I might idk I donā€™t know that I want to say ā€œI never ever willā€ or ā€œIā€™m powerless over alcoholā€ because Iā€™m def not lol - the problem is me not alcohol and not me in the sense that Iā€™m like ā€œbrokenā€ or whatever). So now I quite genuinely - for right now - donā€™t want to drink. Iā€™m not holding myself back from it, Iā€™m not counting days until I can again, I am not imposing moderation rules for me, Iā€™m not looking for loopholes and Iā€™m not promising lifelong abstinence. But I just donā€™t want to right now. We arenā€™t an alcohol free house - weā€™ve got fucktons of booze around - and my bf is still having his wine with dinner and beer when he does yard work and actually he even had a screwdriver for breakfast after he joined me for a run this past weekend because thatā€™s what he wanted and I made him run pretty far. Iā€™ve got it available. He is very proud of me and supportive of me not drinking but he also wonā€™t like break up with me if I decide to start up again. I justā€¦ donā€™t want to. Itā€™s better for me. Iā€™m happier withoutā€¦ rocket fuel inside my body lmao because Iā€™m a person and not a rocket ykwim?
This was very rambling but this topic makes me like that. My feeling is if youā€™re thinking about when you can and canā€™t drink, your relationship with alcohol isnā€™t healthy. Again to go back to my edibles thing, which I would have again quite easily, Iā€™ve never in my life had more edibles than I intended to (Iā€™ve had a max of two when my goal was to get fuck stoned and thatā€™s what I did) and I also canā€™t tell you when I last had one or when I next will (Iā€™ve got a bag of them in my desk but itā€™s sealed and it doesnā€™t tempt me). With alcohol I absolutely was counting sober days versus drinking days and how many drinks I had on a drinking day and whether or not a few glasses of wine ā€œeven countedā€ yk? And it was occupying a lot of time and space in my head, even when I wasnā€™t drinking. So that wasnā€™t likeā€¦ healthy. Just removing it has given me a lot of energy and genuine desire to do a lot more hobbies that I like to do.
I also find I do a lot more chores lmao like Iā€™ve always done my chores because Iā€™m not a complete cunt but I often procrastinated with them and I get a lot of the regular ones I do done quicker and more frequently (like cleaning the kitchen), I do a lot more annoying ones more regularly (like taking stuff to the dry cleanersā€™ which I hated to do because I never drunk drove and like having out and about chores meant I canā€™t drink and if I did drink then I couldnā€™t take my stuff in lol so also getting my car washed was one of those too and also like washing my couches which I was doing maybe every two to three months but do every month since I quit drinking and thatā€™s not about driving but itā€™s about not being able to sit on the couch when I undress it to wash it because obviously I sat on the couch drinking lol) and am more proactive with my DIY projects.
and in terms of what Iā€™ve replaced it in terms of drinks, Iā€™ve been making a lot of mixed drinks (so diet tonic, soda water, with a splash of cranberry juice and a splash of lime has been my favorite but I make other ones too), I drink Corona Zeros if we have people round, Iā€™ve been making a lot more tea and coffee, and Iā€™ve been drinking Diet Red Bull if I want ā€œa buzzā€ lol. Also just sparkling water. And flavored sparkling water. Idk itā€™s been really easy once I decided on it and it keeps getting easier tbh not harder - like the first weekend Iā€™d quit, we were sitting waiting for a takeaway and they didnā€™t have any AF beers on the menu and they advertised lassis but were out of them and I just didnā€™t order anything and felt a bit annoyed with my bf drinking his beer but that hasnā€™t happened again and idk Iā€™ve been out and about and Iā€™ve entertained at home and like I say itā€™s not that I donā€™t have it in the house or that I canā€™t say ā€œcool look I did it for over 2 months so now Iā€™m done like clearly I can stop whenever I want and now I want to start againā€ but I really justā€¦ donā€™t want to start again at this point.
Hope this helped a bit and just so you know your ā€œboozestoryā€ (as Ruby Warrington of Sober Curious calls it) is completely normal.
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cassowary-rapture Ā· 6 months ago
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Went back to Big Buckskin Creek today and oh my god THE SPIDERS.
Saw a six-spotted fishing spider (Dolomedes triton) like five minutes in!!! I love them and I've only seen two others, both in NC. The wind was picking up and the river was choppy and it ran across the water and then found a leaf to rest on
Found a spider exoskeleton (probably a fishing or wolf spider given the size and body shape)
Accidentally broke off a branch with two long-jawed orbweavers on it and then returned them to their tree
Other things:
Found more cool exoskeletons
Almost dropped my paddle a few times + got it stuck in a tree
Climbed on the abandoned dock! It felt like kind of a bad idea because I didn't tie my boat up, just wedged it underneath, but it was fine and I can swim so whatever. There were lots of empty beer bottles and cans. Maybe I should clean it up next time I'm there? Though at least it's a floating dock, so less chance of all the trash ending up in the river than with a traditional one
First time using a dry bag on a lanyard for my phone. Should have gotten one sooner...like before I DROPPED MY PHONE IN THE RIVER (which it survived after all)...because it is really nice not having to remind myself to be careful with it and just being able to pick it up or let go of it vs. taking it in and out of my pocket a billion times!
Ran into a paddleboard tour group about 2/3 of the way down the creek (traveling counterclockwise/north to south this time) and the leader said there are gar in the river?!? Gar are adorable so this is fantastic news
I guess that's it. It was a fun outing and I'm excited about kayaking again in 2-3 days/once my upper body recovers
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beautifulblooms Ā· 2 years ago
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Fighting Together to the End - Eddie Munson x Male!Reader - Part 5
Male! Reader, still just a rewrite of season 4 to help me cope with the pain of Volume 2, this is pretty much fluff and banter, enjoy lmao
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
CIS Women and Female Aligned people, please DNI, this story and all of my others are for non-binary, masculine aligned and male readers!
After a few minutes of recovery time Nancy explained how she had guns hidden in her house. It would be a long walk there but it was worth it to get any supplies. After about an hour we had made it to the Wheelerā€™s house, but it surely wasnā€™t the same. Gross vines connected to the hive mind of Vecna weā€™re covering everything, the door, walls, the floor and even the stairs. And somehow even more strange when we got up to Nancyā€™s room, things that were supposed to be there were missing. Like the whole reason we came here, the guns that were supposedly in her closet were no longer there.
ā€œAre you sure they were there Wheeler?ā€ Eddie chirps at her, slightly annoyed we all had wasted time walking here.
ā€œYes, thereā€™s a 6-year-old in the house I know where I keep my guns.ā€ She was pissed but tried to keep it together and search through the rest of her closet.
ā€œHey, Nance?ā€ I had started to look around her room to see if I could find anything, and came across a diary.
ā€œWhat?ā€ Turning around she looked at me while I held her diary, well old diary in my hands.
ā€œThe last entry in here is from November 6, three years ago. Did you just stop writing or something?ā€ I looked back over at her with a confused look on my face.
ā€œWhat? No, I've been writing every day, the last entry should be from a few days ago.ā€ Everyone started to walk closer to me and Nancy grabbed the diary. ā€œIt really is only this one. What happened November 6th, 1983?ā€
We all sat in a moment of confusion and thought trying to remember what wouldā€™ve been happening around that time
ā€œMy first time smoking with Eddie?ā€ I shrugged my shoulders just throwing ideas out there.
ā€œNo, I donā€™t think it would be that babe.ā€ The man in question looked at me with a dopey smile.
ā€œWait, isnā€™t that when Will went missing?ā€ Steve finally started to piece his internal timeline together.
ā€œYes! Thatā€™s the day he disappeared, so when Will disappeared things stopped updating and changing down here.ā€ Putting the old diary down Nancy turned to look at Steve while she talked.
ā€œSo weā€™re stuck in Hawkins circa November 6th 1983?ā€ Robin asked, trying to get clarification.
ā€œYes, which means we need to find different weapons because I didnā€™t get my guns until after the Demogorgon. Shit.ā€ Nancy now seemed pissed that we really had gotten all the way here for nothing.
Trying to find other things to defend ourselves we wandered back downstairs and around the main floor of the Wheeler house. The kitchen still has knives and some other stuff but we were all hoping for a little more firepower. Then all of a sudden Steve started screaming for Dustin of all people.
ā€œHenderson?!? Henderson, where are you buddy?!ā€ Collectively we all looked at him like he was insane.
ā€œSteve, why are you yelling Dustinā€™s name?ā€ I asked after he screamed another couple times.
ā€œI heard him! Heā€™s somewhere here, in the walls maybe. Dustin!! Cā€™mon Henderson talk to me!ā€
To be completely honest I had lost hope in his sanity, maybe the demon bats had some venom that was destroying his brain. Then I saw it, the light fixture in the kitchen was glowing. Not like it was turned on but like there were particles of light surrounding it.
ā€œHey, everyone not going crazy, can you come over here?ā€ And soon enough everyone, even Steve, had wandered over towards me in the Kitchen. ā€œIā€™m not tripping right? You guys see this too?ā€
ā€œYeah, we see it, and Iā€™m pretty sure Iā€™m sober.ā€ Even in the worst place Eddie still managed to crack jokes. I smiled gently at him before noticing Robin try to investigate the lights more. She had reached her hand into the particles and giggled.
ā€œIt kinda tickles, heh.ā€ We all began reaching our hands into the light to see how it felt. Without realizing it at first we soon heard talking from somewhere around us.
ā€œWait, thatā€™s Dustin, Steve I donā€™t think youā€™re going crazy anymore.ā€ Robin spoke up while pulling her hand back.
ā€œGo to Nancyā€™s room!ā€
The only thing we could assume was that Dustin was trying to find a way to communicate with us. So without knowing what else to do we wandered back upstairs again and stood around until we saw something light up on Nancyā€™s bed. It was a litebrite, where the fuck did they find one of those so quick.
ā€œWeā€™re pulling the plug! Standby!ā€
There was now just a cloud of the fuzzy light particles floating where the litebrite had been. Touching it Nancy began to write out a message, well I donā€™t know if the word ā€œhiā€ counts as a message but she wrote it in the cloud. We heard cheering from the other side.
ā€œWhy canā€™t you get back?ā€
Well shit how do we explain that the portal is being protected by a swarm of bat things that nearly killed Steve. Quickly thinking something Nancy wrote out the word ā€œguardedā€, which confused everyone on the other side.
ā€œThereā€™s a gate at every murder site!ā€
ā€œWhat does he mean?ā€ Steve was really confused now.
ā€œI donā€™t know, the kidā€™s insane.ā€ Eddie mentioned and we all kinda agreed silently. Not knowing what to say back Nancy put a question mark.
ā€œHow many times do I have to be right on the money and you guys donā€™t listen to me?!ā€
Dustinā€™s attitude was something nothing of us needed to hear.
ā€œThat kid really needs to get his ego in check.ā€ Steve muttered
ā€œItā€™s his tone right?ā€ Next to me Eddie looked over at Steve and they nodded in agreement.
ā€œYou need to get to a portal where someone was killed by Vecna!ā€
ā€œWait, if thereā€™s a portal where everyone was killed, that means thereā€™s one back home, back at Eddieā€™s trailer.ā€ I pieced together what I could with the little understanding I had of this whole situation. Nancy spelled out ā€œTrailerā€ to the other group and now we just needed a way to get there.
ā€œDonā€™t the younger ones have bikes everywhere?ā€ I glanced over at Nancy to see her reaction.
ā€œGarage, thereā€™s enough for us, well, someone will need to double up.ā€ She looked over at me to see what I was thinking.
ā€œWell me and this handsome man here and ride together, canā€™t we babe?ā€ Eddieā€™s words made me look at him and smile, giving him confirmation.
We made it to the garage and picked a bike each, well, Eddie picked a bike and I hopped on the bar sticking out of the back wheel while holding onto his shoulders.
ā€œRide as fast as you can rockstar, I wanna get home soon.ā€ Leaning over his side I gave his cheek a peck before leaning back up.
ā€œI better get a reward when weā€™re done with this.ā€ Smiling at him I leaned back over.
ā€œDonā€™t worry, itā€™ll be the best reward youā€™ve ever gotten, big boy.ā€
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streetlight11 Ā· 3 years ago
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Love Notes
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Summary: People usually mistake Slytherins as the mean and nasty ones. Nobody told you that you would be stuck with the loud and obnoxious boy from Gryffindor. One day during your fifth year, you started receiving anonymous notes in your books, pockets, table, etc. The question is, who gave them to you?
Theme: Hogwarts au, enemies to lovers
Genre: fluff, angst [not really]
Warnings: none
WC: 4.9k
Pairing: Gryffindor!Haknyeon x Slytherin!FemReader
a/n: Hi again :) I've been binge watching Harry Potter movies for the past few days and I love it so much. So here's a little Hogwarts fic with Hakkie! Do send me requests if you have any! I'm open to writing them :)
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Going to Hogwarts was probably the best thing to happen to you. And getting yourself sorted into Slytherin house was also the best thing to ever happen to you. Except, nobody told you that you would have a horrendous time being in the same classes as the loud and obnoxious boy from Gryffindor.
His name?
Was Ju Haknyeon.
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ā€œDid you lose your way to class again today?ā€ Haknyeon teased when you arrived at your seat that just so happens to be right in front of him. You were in your fifth year and yet he has never once gone a day without getting on a single nerve on your body.
ā€œDid you lose your pacifier on your way here cause you canā€™t seem to keep your mouth shut.ā€ You scowled at him only to earn a soft chuckle from him.
ā€œLook whoā€™s talking nowā€¦ā€ Haknyeon smirks, earning a kick to his desk from you. Your seat partner and also one of your close friends, Wooyoung couldnā€™t help but roll his eyes at the said boy.
Professor Snape finally dismissed the class as everyone quickly scrambled out of the room. You were walking with Wooyoung and Yeosang as the former began rambling about his terrible date yesterday when you suddenly felt an arm over your shoulder. The last person you hoped for it to be, ends up proving you wrong the minute he spoke.
ā€œHey hey, have you practiced for the Quidditch game this season? Wouldnā€™t wanna lose your Quidditch title to other houses.ā€ Haknyeon whispered into your ear, making you push his face away.
ā€œDo you ever shut up?ā€ You said as he smirked, casually pursing his lips into a kissy face.
You rolled your eyes at him, elbowing his stomach to make him leave your side. Haknyeon left your side for a brief moment before coming back to you to stop in front of you while leaning down a little to match your height. Once he was right in front of you, he smirked cheekily at you.
ā€œI wonā€™t shut up when Iā€™m with you, darling.ā€ He whispered.
You cupped his face with both hands, only to lean in to let your lips hover over his as you whispered under your breath, ā€œDonā€™t make me do it for you, sweetheart.ā€ The moment you pulled away from him and began to walk away, Haknyeon couldā€™ve sworn he felt his heart skip a few beats.
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ā€œNow, class, please open to page 367.ā€ Professor McGonagall announced as you heard the sounds of pages being turned. You did the same, flipping the pages a few at a time until a slip of note drops out from your book. It was a pretty blue colour that has been folded into the shape of a flower.
ā€œDid you put this in my book?ā€ You asked Wooyoung who was seated beside you, only for him to shake his head. Just then, a voice came from behind you.
ā€œOh look, the Slytherinā€™s princess got herself a love note.ā€ Haknyeon said. It annoyed you to the point where you had to cast a spell on him from under your desk to shut him up for 2 hours. A few weeks have gone by and you have been getting anonymous notes slipped into your textbooks, locker, and sometimes even in your coat pockets.
However, all the notes always end up in your bag, never touched or read before.
It was a Thursday afternoon and you were just walking into your Transfiguration class when a female student from Hufflepuff came up to you giddily excited as she informed you what she saw.
ā€œOmg Y/N! Someone gave you a rose and a letter! Itā€™s on your desk!ā€ She squeaked, allowing a couple of eyes to land on you, who was standing at the back of the class with Wooyoung and Yeosang. With that being said, you glanced over to your desk to find that she was right.
However, you noticed that Haknyeonā€™s table was empty. Maybe he finally got sick and couldnā€™t come to class today.
ā€œThe Slytherinā€™s princess got a gift today huh? Thatā€™s new.ā€
Maybe not.
Haknyeon said casually as he strolls past you with his hands tucked into his pantā€™s pockets while he makes his way over to his desk. You rolled your eyes at the back of his head before walking up to your desk and soon took the rose and note only to stuff it in your bag.
ā€œWhy donā€™t you read it outloud for all of us to hear, darling? Iā€™m sure your admirer would love to see the way your eyes turn into heart shapes for them.ā€ Haknyeon smirked.
You couldnā€™t lie, Haknyeon has in fact gotten slightly more manlier in built and also a bit more nicer looking in terms of his face features.
Which is why youā€™d be damned if you admitted out loud that your heart did a little flip when he smirked at you.
ā€œThe last person Iā€™d wanna read it aloud to is you so no, that wonā€™t happen.ā€ You grumbled before sitting down at your desk. Wooyoung couldnā€™t help but chuckle as he told you about Haknyeon's offended face he made after you said that.
A few hours later, everyone was making their way back to their common rooms after dinner. You were just walking towards the Slytherinā€™s common room when Felix spoke up to you, ā€œHey, is it true youā€™ve been getting love notes from someone in class?ā€
ā€œI donā€™t know what they are, Iā€™ve never opened them.ā€ You confessed, earning a few gasps from your friends.
ā€œArenā€™t you even a slight bit curious?ā€ Minho asked.
ā€œLook, I doubt itā€™s even real. It might just be a prank from someone. I donā€™t knowā€¦ā€ You said almost confidently.
ā€œOh come on, just open one and see what it says. It doesnā€™t hurt to read one.ā€ Wooyoung encouraged you as you rolled your eyes at him. It was already after hours. Everyone was asleep except you. So you quietly tip-toed your way to the living area, only to sit near the green fireplace with your bag filled with the notes you kept for the past 5 weeks. You took one of the notes out and soon unfolded it one after another.
ā€œYou look pretty today.ā€
ā€œYour eyes sparkle like the green flames of your house.ā€
ā€œYou make me forget why Iā€™m in this class.ā€
ā€œYour smile could cure my sadness.ā€
ā€œIf only the clouds would make way for a sunshine like youā€
ā€œDonā€™t lose that smile, itā€™s the prettiest thing Iā€™ve ever seenā€
ā€œAre you a love potion? Cause I feel like Iā€™ve fallen in love with youā€
You then happened to take out the note that was attached to the rose you got earlier in which it said;
ā€œA pretty flower for a pretty girl like you.ā€
And the list goes on and on as you read them. However, one thing you noticed was the lack of initials, leaving these notes anonymous.
ā€œWho are you?ā€
This question swirls in your head as you keep these notes in a little treasure chest your mom gave you for your 15th birthday.
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You were on your way to the Quidditch field to play for the Quidditch Tournament with your team members. Upon making it to the courtyard, you just so happen to bump into Haknyeon. You noticed the Red and Gold striped sweater, along with his pants and a cloak in contrast to your full Quidditch attire together with the arms and leg gears.
ā€œHey guys, mind if I steal ā€˜yours trulyā€™ for a moment? I promise Iā€™ll bring her back to you guys in one whole.ā€ Haknyeon smiles innocently to your friends, earning a few snickers from them but they nonetheless left you alone with him.
Once they were out of sight, you turned to him with a frown.
ā€œWhat do you want now, Ju? And make it quick. I have a game to win.ā€ You snapped, earning a chuckle from him.
ā€œRelax beasty, I wonā€™t hold you back for long.ā€
ā€œSo what do you want?ā€
ā€œYou know this is a seasonal championship right?ā€
ā€œAnd?ā€
ā€œAnd this yearā€™s winner will be titled the Seasonā€™s Champion, yes?ā€
ā€œO...kay?ā€ You raised an eyebrow at him in question, not sure where this conversation was heading to.
ā€œSo letā€™s make a bet.ā€
You started to laugh as you clutched your stomach, afraid of growing six packs while you did that. Unfortunately, you didnā€™t get the same response from him which made you confused and eventually stopped.
ā€œA bet? You wanna make a bet? Sure. Youā€™ll only be crying at the end of it cause Slytherinā€™s gonna take the prize home.ā€
ā€œHmm, I wouldnā€™t be so sure if I were you. So letā€™s make a bet.ā€ Haknyeon urges you again, to which you couldnā€™t help but agree just so you could prove him wrong.
ā€œFine. If Slytherin wins, youā€™re gonna leave me alone for the rest of the year.ā€ You said.
ā€œAnd if Gryffindor wins, you have to go on 3 dates with me.ā€ He announced. You werenā€™t gonna lie, you were a little shocked by his proposal but you didnā€™t want to back out now so you shook hands on it.
ā€œDeal.ā€
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ā€œChoi Jongho has gotten the snitch! Gryffindor wins!ā€ Lee Jordan, the commentator from Gryffindor announced as you slammed your fist onto your broomstick. Youā€™ve lost a few times before throughout your 5 years in Hogwarts but today was a little different as you had your bet with Haknyeon hanging by a thread.
You were floating about 10 feet away from Gryffindorā€™s stand, your gaze naturally fleeting to the left only to lock eyes with the blonde haired devil from Gryffindor who had a smirk on his face before he mouthed something so clear to you.
ā€œI win.ā€
You couldnā€™t even respond to him so you simply flew down and back into your pitch tent along with the rest of your teammates. After you were done with post-game preps, you all began to make your way back to your common rooms.
It wasnā€™t until you were at the grand staircase that you bumped into Haknyeon and his friends. He gave you a cheeky little wink before snapping his fingers and soon, you felt a slip of paper magically appear in your hands.
You kept it in your hands until you went back, only opening it when you were in your bed.
ā€œNice game. I hope you donā€™t forget about our bet. See you at Three Broomsticks Inn, this Saturday. 12pm. Donā€™t be late. Oh, and, wear prettily ;) - JHNā€
You were definitely in for a treat.
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The day finally came as you made an excuse to your friends saying you couldnā€™t go with them to Hogsmeade because you promised to help Ginny with her Muggle studies. The minute they left, you got upstairs to change out of your pyjamas and into some comfortable jeans, a sweater, a denim jacket and a pair of worn out sneakers.
You teleported to Hogsmeade using the Floo Powder your mom gave you just in case you needed to rush home due to an emergency.
You arrived at a dark alley in Hogsmeade, making sure your friends werenā€™t around before you left the safety of that alley. Carefully walking past some villagers, you found your way to the Inn without getting caught. With one gentle push of the wooden door, you were immediately greeted by the bustling customers.
You looked around the room to find for the devil who shall not be named and Lord Behold, he waves over to you from one of the tables across the room. You almost lost your footing when you saw what he wore.
It was almost as if he knew what you were going to wear. He was wearing black pants with a denim jacket. Simple yet so good looking.
You went over to him only to sit on his left where it was nearer to the edge of the semi circle couch.
ā€œYouā€™re late, you know?ā€ Haknyeon laughs.
ā€œYeah but Iā€™m here arenā€™t I?ā€ You scoffed softly under your breath, earning a little giggle from him.
ā€œOn our first date too? Youā€™re a terrible one.ā€ He joked.
ā€œFine then. Go find someone whoā€™s on time for your date, maybe theyā€™ll actually arrive earlier than you.ā€ Right before you could slide out of the seat, Haknyeon gently grabs your wrist to stop you.
ā€œRelax, Iā€™m just kiddingā€¦ Come on, butterbeer on me. Deal?ā€ He asked, shaking his wallet in between his fingers as though telling you he really meant it when he said heā€™ll pay for it.
Of course you couldnā€™t let this moment up, which is why you agreed to it. Unfortunately, right before he could slide out the opposite end of the table, your eyes flew over to the front doors where the bell chimed indicating a customer. Thatā€™s when you saw your friends walking in and you couldā€™ve sworn they would see you in a matter of seconds if they just turned to the left slightly.
ā€œOh shit!ā€ You cursed as you grabbed hold of Haknyeonā€™s collar only to drag him out of the table and soon towards the back. Haknyeon was a little taken aback by your sudden aggression as he began to ask you a series of questions.
You quickly pulled him behind one of the pillars, shoving him against the concrete wall as you peeked past the pillar.
ā€œOkay, if you want to kill me, at least do it when weā€™re in private.ā€ He teased you.
ā€œShut up. My friends are here. I lied to them saying I canā€™t join them.ā€ You whispered, trying to see if your friends wouldnā€™t make it to the back. What you didnā€™t realize was the way Haknyeon was discreetly checking you out.
ā€œYou know, for a Slytherin, youā€™re not as sly as you think you are. What makes you think they canā€™t figure out itā€™s you from a dist-ā€
ā€œKiss me.ā€
You suddenly spoke as he stared at you with wide eyes. He almost couldnā€™t believe his ears when you said that.
ā€œWhat?ā€
ā€œI said kiss me!ā€ You loudly whispered but your eyes were frantically flickering back and forth to something behind him.
However, right before you could yell at him, you felt him snaking his right arm around your waist while the other hand reached up to cup your cheek, pulling you into a soft and gentle kiss. You fluttered your eyelids close as he turned you so that his back would be facing the open area while your smaller form gets shielded from the public eye.
You could hear your friendā€™s voices getting closer and closer and eventually made their way past Haknyeonā€™s back. You couldā€™ve sworn you heard some of them snicker and scoff at your unknown presence.
Once they are gone, Haknyeon pulls back from you with the softest sound as he caresses your cheek for a moment.
Suddenly your heart was picking up speed against your chest. You locked eyes with him for a second or two, feeling him tilt his head slightly to make his lips brush over yours again purposely before pulling away completely.
ā€œI reckon we should leave?ā€ He chuckled, making you nod.
ā€œYes please.ā€
With that being said, he let you leave the hiding spot first, making sure he used his body to block you from unwanted view.
A few hours passed where he took you to a few of his favourite shops in Hogsmeade, including some personal spots around town where he usually goes when he needs space to be by himself. You were now making your way back to the castle as you both managed to not quarrel for more than a minute of being with each other.
You must admit, it was nice getting to know Haknyeon better instead of fighting with him like usual.
It has been four days since your first date with Haknyeon and again, you still received the notes. This time, it said;
ā€œYouā€™re cute. Can I keep you?ā€
With that, you couldnā€™t help but let out a soft chuckle.
ā€œWhat? Did the person who gave you those letters finally revealed himself?ā€ Wooyoung asked from beside you, only for you to show him the note.
ā€œNo, but isnā€™t it tiring to keep thinking of cheesy love notes to write almost everyday?ā€ You whispered to him upon hearing Professor McGonagall enter the class.
ā€œWell, I would say this person is totally head over heels for you to even write these from day 1.ā€ Wooyoung speaks utter nonsense most of the time, but maybe he made some sense today.
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You were on your second date with Haknyeon, as he promised to take you on a ride. What ride might I ask? Not just any ride. He was taking you on a ride on a Hippogriff.
ā€œAre you sure we wonā€™t get in trouble for this? I really donā€™t want to be expelled.ā€ You warned him as he laughed at you.
ā€œArenā€™t you being a little too goody two shoes for a Slytherin?ā€ Haknyeon teased, only to get a good slap to his arm from you.
ā€œSay anything stupid again and I swear youā€™ll be the one swimming in the lake with the damn Lochness.ā€ You threatened as he raised his arms in a surrender but there was a wide grin on his face. Something youā€™ve grown to adore these days.
With that, he soon hops on the magical creature easily, leaving you nervous. Haknyeon had his hand extended out for you to take but you were afraid.
ā€œY/N come on, we donā€™t have forever!ā€ He said.
ā€œWhat if I fall?ā€ You panicked but you ended up unconsciously whining, making him giggle.
ā€œI wonā€™t let you fall. I promise. Now come on, darling.ā€ Haknyeon jerks his hand to you again, only for you to stare at it for a bit before you finally take his hand into yours. He easily pulled you up and onto the animalā€™s back. You sat in front of him while you gently grabbed onto the creatureā€™s neck, being careful that you donā€™t accidentally harm it.
ā€œOkay Buckbeak, show us whatchu got.ā€ Haknyeon said as he gave the creature a few pats to its belly and soon, the creature took off flying into the sky. You let out a scream, hugging the neck tightly while Haknyeon holds onto nothing.
He clearly had more experience than you in terms of flying on this creatureā€™s back.
You had your eyes closed the entire time even when you felt the smooth glide across the air. Still being stubborn to open your eyes, you felt him tap your shoulders.
ā€œY/N come on! Open your eyes! Youā€™re missing out on the view!ā€ His voice sounded so excited behind you, it almost made you believe it wasnā€™t the same boy who has been a living nuisance to you all these while.
ā€œNo way! Iā€™m just gonna panic even more if I see how high we are!ā€ You yelled over the loud gush of wind that might be rendering your hearing.
ā€œI promise weā€™ll be fine, just open your eyes! Trust me!ā€ Haknyeon reassured you as you felt him gently slide his hands down your arms and onto your wrist to pull them away from the creatureā€™s neck. You shook your head desperately, hoping heā€™d leave you alone. Unfortunately for you, he didnā€™t.
Instead, he thought it would be a good idea to scare you. Maybe that way youā€™ll finally open your eyes.
And you did.
Because the minute you heard him yell for help, you immediately opened your eyes and turned around only to find him seated firmly on Buckbeakā€™s back with his arms crossed over his chest.
ā€œYou bloody piece of shit!ā€ You huffed in annoyance as you turned back around only for Buckbeak to playfully tilt his body up to make you fall back slightly. Thatā€™s when a string of curses left your lips while you desperately grabbed onto its neck.
ā€œDonā€™t do that Buckbeak!ā€ You scolded the animal, only to get a little sound from him. Just then, Haknyeon decides to challenge you.
ā€œWanna know what it feels to fly?ā€
ā€œUhh, no?ā€
ā€œItā€™ll be fun. Here.ā€ Haknyeon said as he slowly reached over to grab your wrists while his firm chest softly pressed against your back but for some reason, it made you feel some sort of safety.
ā€œW-What are you doing?ā€ You stuttered, only for him to smile and soon spoke into your ears leaving a soft tingling feel to your skin.
ā€œJust trust me.ā€
With that being said, he gently spreads your arms out on either side of you, making them act like wings for you. As Buckbeak glided through the air, you imagined you were flying until you heard him whisper into your ear, ā€œClose your eyes.ā€
You did as he said, only for it to enhance the imagination. A smile naturally appears on your lips as you completely didnā€™t see the way he was staring at you from beside you. Ignoring the way his hands found your waist and left it there for the rest of the ride.
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It was your third and final date for the bet you made with him. For some odd reason, you didnā€™t want it to end but of course you couldnā€™t tell him that. So when you met him at the lake, you looked slightly down and he noticed. Haknyeon wouldnā€™t let this slide easily which is why he decided to tease you about it.
ā€œWhatā€™s with the long face, darling? Already attached to me?ā€
You scoffed as you approached him by the swing only for you to take a seat at the wooden plank beside his seated figure on the grass patch.
ā€œSo what? This was just for the bet anyway.ā€ You mumbled under your breath, not realizing that he heard you.
The next few minutes went by like how your previous dates went. Constant teasing, playful jokes and banter, friendly chats and even random fights that involve you throwing a handful of dead leaves at him while he scoops water from the lake and proceeds to toss it at you.
At the end of this short date, you had just arrived at the end of the wooden bridge when he wraps his fingers around your wrist to stop you from walking any further.
ā€œI just remembered I promised my friends Iā€™d meet them at the Three Broomsticks Inn in like 5 minutes so I have to leave you from here on.ā€ He said.
ā€œRightā€¦ā€ You said, your voice sounded a little sad.
ā€œI guess the betā€™s over. Thanksā€¦ for... well, going on the dates with me.ā€ Haknyeon said, eyes flickering back and forth between your eyes and the wooden panels behind you.
ā€œA betā€™s a bet right? Iā€™d be a wimp if I didnā€™t do it.ā€ You smiled.
There was a beat of awkward silence as you got ready to leave when he said something that made your stomach flip.
ā€œThatā€™s it? No goodbye kiss? I thought this was a date?ā€ Haknyeon pouted, keeping his gaze on you as stable as possible. You almost couldnā€™t believe your ears.
Did he just ask you for a kiss?
ā€œIā€¦ Ummā€¦ Okay?ā€ You stuttered in confusion, earning a soft little giggle from him.
However, the nerves soon disappear the minute he takes a step closer and soon wraps one hand around your waist while the other cups your face before he leans down to let his lips seal yours. You instantly fluttered your eyes shut, letting your hands rest on his chest.
The kiss felt so genuine, you almost forgot how you used to fight with this same boy 24/7. Haknyeon smiled against your lips as he pulled back for air shortly before kissing you again.
His lips were intoxicating, you almost forgot how to breathe. Haknyeon gives you a cheeky little lick to your bottom lip as he soon pulls away from you, leaving you breathless. You pressed your forehead softly against his as you kept your eyes shut, too embarrassed to look at him at this point.
His chuckle fills your ears as he cups your face with both hands and whispers against your lips.
ā€œGo. Be safe. Avoid the common grounds, thatā€™s where Filch always lurks around.ā€ Soon after, he gave your lips another peck before you felt wind whooshing around you. Immediately, his touch left you and it almost made you crumble to the ground.
What did he do to you?
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A few days later, you were just having lunch with everyone else at their respective house tables and your friends surrounded you when you saw a note slipping past from under your plate. A pretty baby blue one that is. You carefully unfolded it, only to see it read;
ā€œI realized I was thinking of you, and I began to wonder how long youā€™ve been on my mind. Then it occurred to me: Since the day I met you, youā€™ve never left.ā€
For some reason, those words meant something to you.
It was as though you knew this person and have created some sort of a bond with them. And yet, you still donā€™t know who. However, you do now have a little suspicion on who it was and who these notes belonged to. So to test your theory, you looked up from your table, almost immediately catching the eyes of the same pair of brown ones youā€™ve grown accustomed to.
Haknyeon was already staring like he knew you were going to find him. What surprised you the most is the fact that he didnā€™t even flinch when you caught him.
You held eye contact for a second before you got cut off by Wooyoung putting a scoopful of mashed potatoes onto your plate. You gave the boy a little smack to his head, earning a choke from him. When you looked back over to Haknyeon, he was already talking to his friend with the back of his head facing you.
A few hours later, you were having your Potions class when a note popped out of nowhere from under your book. To avoid getting minus points from Snape, you quickly shoved the note into your cloak pocket and yet you still got called by the Head of Slytherin for not paying attention.
Therefore, having to serve detention.
You could only curse him in your head while you cleaned every single flask and cauldron pots till they were spick and span.
Once you were done, you left the room only to find Haknyeon leaning against the wall with one leg bent to rest his foot on the wall. He was busy playing with his Patronus charm when his eyes flicked up upon hearing the door open.
ā€œHaknyeon? What are you doing here? Donā€™t we have Transfiguration right now?ā€ You loudly whispered as you approached him only to drag him towards the end where you were hidden from Snapeā€™s office door. Once you were hiding behind the pillar, you turned to peek past the wall with Haknyeon right in front of you.
The hallway was empty thanks to the classes going on currently but that doesnā€™t mean you were free from not being caught out of class.
ā€œI told Professor McGonagall Iā€™m having stomach aches so she excused me to go to the hospital wing.ā€ Haknyeon explained, only for you to frown.
ā€œAnd why were you waiting outside Snapeā€™s office, might I ask?ā€
ā€œTo see you.ā€
ā€œYou couldnā€™t wait till I come to class?ā€ You asked with a slight tease in your voice.
ā€œNeeded to see you right after detention, so that I could do this.ā€
With that being said, he easily captures you into a kiss. You sighed through your nose as you cupped his neck to pull him closer to you. Haknyeon wraps his arms around your waist, letting himself trap you against the wall and his body. You changed your head positions to be at a slightly more comfortable state, feeling him squeeze your sides.
Just then, he pulled away for a breath, making it easy for you to slip in the question.
ā€œAll those notes were from you, werenā€™t they?ā€
Haknyeon grew quiet for a moment but then decided to just come clean with you. After all, thatā€™s what he has been wanting to do anyway.
ā€œAre you disappointed?ā€
ā€œI would be if you told me this 4 weeks agoā€¦ But now? Not so much.ā€ You smiled.
ā€œReally?ā€ He asked.
ā€œWould I do this if I was disappointed?ā€ You asked only to kiss him again. Haknyeon smirks against your lips as you feel him lift you up and spin you around. When he placed you back down, he gave you a peck on the lips and soon spoke up.
ā€œShould I stop giving you notes then?ā€
ā€œGo ahead. Cause Iā€™ve already won the prize.ā€
ā€œYou sure have.ā€
~~~
156 notes Ā· View notes
fuckinuchihas Ā· 4 years ago
Note
Emergency request! Around valentine day I requested an emergency request where male reader felt lovable and lead to sugawara confessing. And it was really comforting so I know it's weird but I've want a part 2. I just went to a wedding and it kinda hurts seeing people be in so much love. I was think just a part 2 where reader is like " do you really love me" and suga tells him yes and then proposes please and thank you , your work is amazing.
Okay so this came spilling out, apparently I really wanted to write this too! Well I hope you enjoy and while it does start off with insecurity and sad thoughts, I promise you its 100% happy ending, the happiest of endings so no worries please <3Ā 
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Something has changed, shifted...and youā€™re not sure where you went wrong but you can feel him pulling away.Ā 
Itā€™s been a while since this beautiful man came into your life and turned everything on its head by actually wanting you. Sometimes you still wonder if itā€™s a dream but then youā€™ll wake up with a feathery silver strand of hair stuck to your lips or his arms wrapped so tightly around you that it feels like heā€™s just as terrified to let go as you are that heā€™ll want to someday.Ā 
That day seems to get closer and closer with every breath.Ā 
It started with his jacket.Ā 
Heā€™d been leaving it at your place for a while now but when you opened the small closet off to the side of your bedroom the familiar navy blue was gone, as was a couple of his shirts that had managed to make their way into your laundry.Ā 
You told yourself he probably just needed them because it was getting cooler, but then he wasnā€™t...wearing them.Ā 
Then there was the early Saturday morning spent with a friend, which by itself wasnā€™t a big deal, but heā€™d never intentionally left you out of his plans, not-not even as a friend.Ā 
You rack your brain trying to find anything that you could have done to change things...were you too clingy? Too insecure? Too...overwhelming?Ā 
Every insecurity you could think of suddenly rose to the surface and made it hard for you to breathe.Ā 
No...No, you forced the thoughts back down. Sugawara wasnā€™t perfect, not nearly as much as youā€™d initially believed but he wasnā€™t a coward or deceitful. If he wanted the relationship to end, heā€™d tell you outright. Even if it was a difficult conversation.Ā 
You sigh to yourself as you change from your slippers into actual shoes so you can check the mail. You shake yourself out of the funk as much as you can on your way down to the small mail office in your apartment complex.
When you open the box you feel a moment of soft surprise before your heart sinks back to your stomach.Ā 
Yet another wedding invitation.Ā 
You donā€™t mind spending money on a gift or even dressing up for the occasion when itā€™s someone close to you but the more weddings you attend the more disheartened you become.Ā 
Maybe thatā€™s itā€¦
Maybe Koshi has picked up on your wedding fever/depression and got scared away. You hadnā€™t really thought about it when mentioning your future plans that you had in mind. You didnā€™t need all the fancy stuff, not into the large crowds or dove releases, or any other number of shenanigans that normally turned out to be disasters.
Even if it were just you and him, a couple friends to witness and someone to officiateā€¦thatā€™s all you cared about.Ā 
*sigh*Ā 
Your phone buzzes in your pocket just after you step back through your front door and you glance down to see a text from the man himself.Ā 
Message from Koshi: You free this Saturday?
You narrow your gaze down at the phone.Ā 
Message to Koshi: You ask that as if Iā€™m not always free on Saturdaysā€¦.
Message from Koshi: Well itā€™s only polite to ask, otherwise I think it would be considered kidnapping...adult napping? PersonnappingĀ 
You chuckle under your breath despite it all and smile down at your phone.Ā 
Message to Koshi: Iā€™ll try to pencil you in.Ā 
Message from Koshi: Okay, I deserved that one...still, donā€™t make plans.Ā 
Message to Koshi: Well I canā€™t make any promises...if Kakashi sensei shows up I donā€™t know if I can hold back.Ā 
You know wherever he is right now heā€™s rolling his eyes at you but thatā€™s okay, because heā€™s smiling too...or at least you hope he is. The old Sugawara would have smiled and laughedā€¦
Message to Koshi: Is Saturday the next time Iā€™ll see you?Ā 
You were almost too afraid to send it, not wanting to see the affirmation of that given itā€™s only Wednesday and youā€™ve gotten used to not sleeping alone.Ā 
Your mind goes through a variety of scenarios for the thing Saturday, is it a breakup thing? Is he going to explain why heā€™s been so distant? Is it...no, you wonā€™t get your hopes up. Itā€™s better to deal with worst case scenarios so you know how to handle yourself with whatever comes to pass.Ā 
Finally your phone buzzes again and you let out a low sigh of relief.Ā 
Message from Koshi: Of course not, Iā€™ll be over for later...want me to stop and get food?Ā 
Message to Koshi: No, Iā€™ll take care of dinner. You just bring yourself. TTYLĀ 
Message from Koshi: TTYLĀ 
Thatā€™s another thing thatā€™s changed latelyā€¦.he still says he loves you, itā€™s still there and it feels nice to hear it. But itā€™s changed somehow, like itā€™s as if he has to push it out rather than it flowing naturally. He gets this odd look in his eyes sometimes when he says it and if you didnā€™t know him better youā€™d worry he didnā€™t mean it at all.Ā 
But Sugawara isnā€™t insincere or deceptive.Ā 
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Saturday comes and you wake up alone, itā€™s...not a great feeling.Ā 
You blindly reach for you phone waiting until your vision is actually useful before you check your messages.Ā 
Message from Koshi: Went for breakfast, bbs.
Well...thatā€™s not so bad.Ā 
You check the clock, itā€™s a little earlier than you usually get upā€¦ maybe an hour or so. You contemplate going back to bed but if heā€™s getting you something warm to eat and drink, it might be worth staying awake.Ā 
When that hour passes alongside another, you start to worry.Ā 
Message to Koshi: Everything okay?Ā 
Almost immediately you have a response.Ā 
Message from Koshi: Yes, sorry I got caught up with something but Iā€™ll be back in 10.Ā 
You try not to focus on the long absence instead, moving to get dressed. Something about still being in bed half naked leaves you feeling vulnerable.Ā 
When he enters the apartment a few moments later, as promised, heā€™s wearing a warm smile, flushed cheeks, and holding out a bag of piping hot food and a warm drink that heats your hand when you take it.Ā 
Things arenā€™t adding upā€¦ how has he been gone so long, gotten caught up in something unplanned, and still carrying hot food and drink when he returns?Ā 
Something dark and ugly curls in your belly.Ā 
ā€œSugaā€¦ā€ you start, wanting to bring it up but part of you is also terrified that this will spur the impending talk ahead even faster.Ā 
ā€œYes?ā€Ā 
ā€œNevermind,ā€ you say, taking a sip of your drink. ā€œThis is good thank you.ā€Ā 
ā€œOf course. Anything for you, Love.ā€Ā 
It almost hurts more than it heals.Ā 
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Itā€™s nearly time to get ready, he mentioned wanting to leave around seven so you start to ask questions. ā€œWhere are we going? What should I wear? Etcā€¦ā€ all the accompanying answers are vague at best, but you donā€™t push. Despite the logical part of your brain knowing you need to confront this, something that feels protective, or like a defense mechanism, is screaming at you not to push. As if holding your tongue will make him want to keep you around, even for just a minute longer.Ā 
When he shows back up at your apartment after leaving to get dressed, you feel completely lost. He looks good, well he always looks good but...fuck you were not prepared for the sight of him in dark slacks with a crimson button up and a silver vest that hugs his form.Ā 
ā€œI am-Iā€™m completely underdressed...why didnā€™t you tell meā€¦ā€ you say, feeling both frustrated and emotional because wouldnā€™t it just be your luck that the man you love looks his most beautiful on the night he breaks your heart.Ā 
ā€œYou look amazing, donā€™t worryā€¦ thereā€™s not going to be a crowd, cā€™mon.ā€ he says, offering his arm and though neither of you usually engage in pda, thereā€™s something that seems so inherently romantic about it that you canā€™t stop yourself from taking it.Ā 
ā€œAre you willing to tell me where weā€™re going...now?ā€ you ask, but he just winks at you and shakes his head.Ā 
You try to hide your frustration, it must not work too well because he just laughs, ā€œDonā€™t worry, Iā€™m not personnapping you, if you donā€™t like it we can leave.ā€Ā 
You move together side by side for a while until a familiar path comes into view.Ā 
ā€œThe pier?ā€ you ask, blinking at him.Ā 
ā€œSurprised you didnā€™t figure it out sooner.ā€Ā 
ā€œWhy did you get all dressed up for the pier? Wait when did they put lights up? Is this new?ā€ you ask, glancing around at the countless strings of fairy lights hung from the posts of the nearby shelter and all along the handrail of the dock.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m not sure, I think itā€™s a recent additionā€¦ā€ he says, and you can hear a slight quiver in his voice.Ā 
ā€œOh okay,ā€ you say, as you let him lead you to the small picnic area.Ā 
On the table thereā€™s a huge basket filled with food and a bucket with a bottle of wine chilling.
ā€œKoshi this is- this is-ā€ you want to say sweet, romantic, amazingā€¦ but the words get caught in your throat.Ā 
Surely he wouldnā€™t do all this, make this amazing picnic just for you, only to dump you...right? Like thereā€™s such a thing as too amicable at the end of a relationshipā€¦
ā€œYou donā€™t like it?ā€ he asks, rubbing nervously at the back of his neck.Ā 
ā€œNo! No thatā€™s not it at all,ā€ you say in a rush, the volume a little loud in your hurry to reassure him that itā€™s amazing. ā€œI just...can we sit and talk for a minute first?ā€Ā 
ā€œYeah, of courseā€¦ā€ he says, though heā€™s still clearly very nervous. Maybe he knows youā€™ve caught onto himā€¦
ā€œSugawara-ā€Ā 
ā€œKoshi-ā€ he says, with insistence.Ā 
You nod, ā€œKoshi, I just-Iā€™ve noticed that youā€™ve been pulling away lately...Itā€™s not that I-I mind I guess, I just, I want you to know that if Iā€™ve done anything or...or youā€™ve just changed your mind-ā€Ā 
ā€œI havenā€™t,ā€ he says firmly, reaching his hand out to pull your chin up so he can look directly into your eyes. Thereā€™s a soft whisper of your name but then heā€™s smiling and shaking his head, tears forming at the edge of his eyes. ā€œI guess thereā€™s only one way to prove it to you though.ā€Ā 
ā€œWhat?ā€ you ask, a little alarmed that he seems so close to crying and this close you can watch it happen.Ā 
He says your name, like a whisper like a prayer and then he drops to one knee in front of you.Ā 
Your brain, the one thatā€™s constantly overthinking everything, goes still in that moment. All whirring brought to a quick, silent stop.Ā 
ā€œFor me it wasnā€™t immediate, though sometimes I like to think it was because it makes me look a little brighter, but falling for you was a slow progression of events to the point that I didnā€™t even realize how deep I was until you told me that no one would ever want you... I just sat there staring at you thinking you were the most fascinating, most hilarious, most warm human being Iā€™ve ever known,ā€ he says, hand shaking as he reaches into his pocket.Ā 
Your pulse spikes but youā€™re still struck frozen, speechless.Ā 
ā€œEvery day your smile, your laugh, the way your nose pulls up when youā€™re angry, all of it...it makes you even more gorgeous than you were the first time I saw you...I havenā€™t been pulling away, Iā€™ve been trying to surprise you with this,ā€™ he says, opening a small bright red box up and holding it out to you.
You gasp when you see the minimalist band, gems embedded into the metal to give it a smooth finish rather than the traditional engagement rings that stick out like a sore thumb.Ā 
ā€œKoshi I-Are you sure?ā€
ā€œIā€™m absolutely certain,ā€ he says, ā€œThe question here, is are you? Will you marry me?ā€ he asks, a soft whisper of your name shakily coming out after the question but you barely even heard it over the loud pounding of your heart in your ears.Ā 
ā€œYes! Yes yes, no takebacksies,ā€ you say, feeling and maybe sounding like a damned kid youā€™re so gleefully happy.Ā 
ā€œNot even if Kakashi shows up?ā€ he says, raising an eyebrow at you.Ā 
ā€œNot even then,ā€ you say, pulling him in closer until he gives in and gives you what you want.
You get lost in the kiss for a bit, long enough that youā€™re grateful none of the food was meant to be served hot.Ā 
ā€œI kinda thought you were going to break up with meā€¦ā€ you confess softly, a little while later while lazily plucking grapes from the bunch and passing them over your shoulder to your boyfr-fiance...your fiance. The word itself gives you a rush of excitement up your spine.Ā 
He splutters a bit but eventually just decides to chide you a little, ā€œWhat do you take me for? An idiot?ā€ he says, ā€œOnly an idiot would leave you...I was umm, I was planning this and I was slowly moving some of your things over to my apartment. You didnā€™t notice?ā€Ā 
ā€œNo...I noticedĀ your stuff missing but not mineā€¦ā€
He sighs, and pats you on the head. ā€œOf course you did. Iā€™m sorry, Love. Next time Iā€™ll just ruin the surprise and tell you.ā€Ā 
You laugh, ā€œOh so you plan on proposing again?ā€Ā 
He shrugs, ā€œYou never know.ā€Ā 
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You do know...two weeks before your tenth anniversary, Sugawara stops grading papers to look up at you while youā€™re drinking your morning cup and says, ā€œIā€™m going to propose to you in two weeks...so donā€™t get any crazy ideas like Iā€™m leaving you again.ā€Ā 
You choke on your drink and glare at him when he laughs at you for it.Ā 
ā€œYouā€™ll be lucky if I say yes, Sugawara Koshi!ā€Ā 
ā€œYes I will.ā€
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Thanks so much for reading!!Ā 
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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 Ā· 5 years ago
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The Truths Found On Petram Viridios IV (5/5)
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A/N: The last chapter to this fic. It's a long one and I gotta say that I've had a lot of fun with this one. After I post this chapter, I'll be sure to post the masterpost for this fic. And of course it'll be available on ao3 soon enough.
Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
__________
Chapter 5: Adore You
If you had to draw a map to find the way home once you were captivated by the gaze of those trustworthy, soft eyes of his, you would surely run out of ink; pools of blue, unwavering in their affection, drew you in, and you were willing to drown in them. There were facets about them that fascinated you as much as the scales of a butterfly did; they did not shimmer, but they gleamed and sparkled; it's what made you pause and search for a wisp of an acquaintance that very first time you saw him; finding a familiarity that threatened to sweep you away. Why you even found fire in those eyes; it was there in his moments of determination and passion. Oh, how their color shifted with his moods was a type of magic you wanted to spend the rest of your life being mesmerized by. To be sure he wasn't mistaken, he dare not blink; exhibiting the full spectrum of what Billie Eilish described as ocean eyes; he had to be sure. "Y-you do?"
"Yes," you giggled. "I do."
It wouldn't occur to you till later, that he had given you a choice. For instead of the typical proposal question, where it was more asserted, Rick asked in a manner in which there was equal footing; it spoke volumes of the respect he had for you. With shaky hands, he slipped a ring whose stone was as clear and blue as his eyes and cut perfectly like a rose, the band covered in gold vines and silver leaves which weaved together; he made it himself, and if you thought back far enough, you could remember when he was ambiguous about his plans to create a new type of stone. Honestly, you didn't realize it would be for this.
"Gosh," he sniffled. "I-I promised myself that I w-wouldn't cry."
But cry he would; fat, sloppy tears that blinded one's vision. He wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater, and fought to regain composure, but lost to the new wave which followed. You gently pried his hands away from his face, softening at his tear-stained cheeks. "It's okay, you can cry if you want to. I already know how tender you are."
Goodness, how long had he wanted to do this? For while it had almost been two years in which he had last attempted to, it might've been on his mind for much longer than that; eating away at his clarity; at the self-confidence that was torn down and repaired daily. You were grateful and proud that this man wanted you; that he finally gathered the courage to ask and do as he intended and wanted. Youā€¦.you had wanted this to happen, but did he know that? Your ocean of inquisitions thought otherwise.
However, it was time to quiet and quell his despondent thoughts. Your fingers dug into the collar of his sweater; the tang of nervous sweat and something so him which wafted off him made you yearn to bring him closer. The puffiness about his eyes didn't discourage you from pressing a kiss at the corner of them and from his throat came a choked sob and you were surrounded by the sounds of his disbelief; this cacophony was breaking your heart. There had to be something you could do to ease him. "Ricardo," you started, "considering the suddenness of the occasion, should we, in like fashionā€¦my dear honey man, would you like to get married today?"
This new tidbit caught him off guard; so much so that he stopped crying; good. Now, he was the one who was unsure of whether this was real life or a simulation. He ran his fingers through his hair, double-checked his equipment, sprayed himself with water, and completed equations that had taken this earth dimension's leading mathematicians decades to understand. What you thought was odd was when he caught a pigeon, scanned its anatomy, and found it was sound; you were going to have to ask him about it later. "Rick, did you hear me?"
"Y-yes," he focused, "but what d-do you mean today? How?"
You figured he would have easily come to a conclusion, but then again, what do spacemen have to do with the price of bread?
"I mean that we don't have to wait if you don't want to." You slid your palm over his tattoo, memorizing with your fingertips where his skin was slightly raised. "We can just go down to the justice of the peace if you'd like."
"And y-you would be my wife today?"
"Yes," you giggled. "I think that's how it works."
"But what about a-aā€¦"
"A wedding ceremony?" you interrupted. "Well, we can have one later. We can plan it however you want, and invite all our friends. There can be so much celebration that we'll be knocked out for a week. Until then, I just want to make you happy, and I believe the sooner the better. Okay? So, if we're going to do this, just tell me now and I'll go get the proper paperwork."
It never ceased to amaze you how easily he flitted through emotions as though it were the weather, and with vigor, he lifted you up and vibrated with joy. "Boy, golly geeā€¦this really - this really razzes my b-berries! This isā€¦wow, I-I can't believe it."
You couldn't believe his word choice either. "Oh, you better believe it, because now you're stuck with me and I have you all to myself. However, you're going to have to put me down now because the office closes at five. There are a few things I need to do before then."
Letting you down, he happily waved goodbye despite the fact that it wouldn't take long to get what you needed for this impromptu occasion. Though, when you entered your house, you took a moment to think about your father. There were things you still didn't understand, like why he never told you about his friendship with Rick, or why you two never really discussed what he'd do if you got married; if he had been here, maybe you two would have talked about which flowers would look best as centerpieces; like whether roses or mums were cheerful enough or if this really was a good idea; if such an age gap was surmountable. Yet, in a way you felt as though you were honoring him; for your father and your mother had been unconventional and had gotten married without all the showy displays then road tripped a bit before settling here; you were simply following tradition.
Maybe, you didn't have to know about the why's and what-ifs, but focusing on what you could do seemed a whole lot easier to do. You kicked off your sneakers and dashed upstairs. You knew where your important documents were, but you thought that choosing a cute outfit would take a little longer. You wanted a certain vibe, one that would make things easier on him and then it came to you; why not revisit an old favorite; one that reminded you of his eyes; always, forever blue.
When you returned, you found him pacing around. He was deep in thought, and it took a moment for him to notice that you had returned. Almost comically, his eyes widened as he took in your appearance, and he started to cry again. "That's th-the dress. From that one time."
"It sure is."
With a twirl, you flaunted the blue chiffon dress, and felt like a dream; his visible adoration was not lost on you. It was a relief that this time you hadn't taken an hour to fuss or worry that you weren't dressed for the part, and you weren't wearing shoes which would kill your feet, but instead rocked some converse. "These shoes are made for walking and that's just what I'll do."
Unlike you, Zeta-7 wanted to fuss and choose something dressier, but you somehow managed to convince him that his blue button-up would be fine, and no tie was necessary; hidden ray guns were allowed just in case this happened to be the day that the Gromflomites attacked; not even Earth-based military scanners would be able to detect them. Though, you did allow him to fix up his hair, because one, you thought he was quite handsome with it combed back, and two, it's what he felt he needed to do to look the part. "How do I-I look?"
"Like the man I'm going to marry. Are you ready handsome?"
With a nod, he grabbed the folder with all the documents he needed. "Y-you bet."
______________
At the courthouse, the entire security staff grouped together and teased you about your keys; you should've known that you'd face trouble once you went through the metal detector; you had a lot of keychains; they were from the days when you and your father would go shopping together. Like Rick, he liked yard sales and thrift stores; sometimes he'd get grab bags and there would be vintage keychains, and he'd give them to you knowing you'd like them. You were told by one of the older guards that it wasn't natural for a grown woman to have a set of keys that weighed five pounds. Zeta-7 began to worry, but you told him you could handle it, and you figured the guards were bored and had nothing else to do. What you didn't tell them was that the main reason your keys were heavy was that you were carrying two sets; yours and your father's old keys; Rick knew, but he respected your wishes to leave it be.
Despite this, you two made your way to the right office; it only took fifteen minutes of going to lobby after lobby, free coffee, and endless rugs in all this indoor nothingness. And nobody knew better than Rick when it came to how much you hated paperwork, but nonetheless, you went through the painstaking process of signing this and that, wondering why they didn't make it easier for people by asking yes or no questions; this better not become someone's confetti. Rick breezed through it all, and you were slightly jealous that he knew what he was doing, but it was due to the fact that citadel paperwork was a lot more frustrating and difficult; he had to go through stacks of it weekly; poor man. While he sat quietly, you were in-between forms that had to be signed in triplicate and heard the gossip coming from the people who were working in the back of the office. What they didn't know was that their ignorance made you more determined; you'd fought your own expectations, that of others, as well as what seemed right to do long enough and no one, not even death itself was going to stop you from doing this; it was the best thing you could ever do for yourself and for him as well. You breathed a sigh of relief when you and Rick finally signed the marriage certificate; finally, it was done, and he watched rapturously as you set down the pen so that he could kiss you without refrain.
If you hadn't known better, you'd say the world shied away; dissolving into a plane of nothingness as he enveloped you with a strength that was deceptive for a man of his years; he had become a little more confident; it might've taken a few years, but all you knew was that it suited him. Being nurtured and cared for, as well as loved in the right sort of environment did wonders on Zeta-7; so much so, that he could hold the world in the palm of his hand and still manage not to damage it. It wasn't shocking that some found this outward display sweet, and you almost had hope for humankind, but then there was a laugh or two from the back; you made a mental note to consider moving off Earth. No one was going to ruin this moment for him, and relishing the moment, you chased his mouth for a second kiss; you know, to prove your point.
And if you hadn't already been proud of him, what made you even prouder was what he said on the way out. "Please stop laughing at m-my wife. Th-that's very rude."
His wife? Yes, you were his wife now. It's strange how you could wake up and wonder what you should have for breakfast and be here where you were now; in a whole new chapter of your life; wondering what will come next. Confusing yes, but not something to be afraid of; you welcomed this happy transition.
Back at the car, you were still recovering from his earlier outburst; the like which was almost out of character. "Did you see the look on her face? I thought it was going to fall off with how far her jaw dropped. Wasn't it a sight?"
Though, he was busy staring at the ring on his own hand which you had picked out when you two made a stop at a consignment shop earlier. It wasn't that complex like yours, but he loved it. "All I could see was - was you."
"You flirt."
You gave his shoulder a playful shove, and in turn, he laughed a full-on belly laugh; this happy noise was music to your ears. "Gosh, I-I mean it. Y-you, look so pretty today." A bit shyly, he commented. "Blue looks very good on you."
"Thank you. So, how should we celebrate? A trip to the moon perhaps? Going across the universe? Maybe a kaiju fight with Matango? Or watching Spiderman 2? Honestly, I'm game for anything."
You had decent shoes on and didn't care what he wanted to do because you were happy if he was happy. And as though it were just another afternoon, he glowed with happiness when he asked. "Mrs. Sanchez, do you - do you want to go get some ice cream?"
Some things will never change and you didn't mind that. "I'd love to. As the author, L.M. Montgomery once said, 'I guess ice cream is one of those things that are beyond imagination.' And, you know, it's so true. I intend to go all out with the toppings today. It's certainly that kind of occasion."
______
He couldn't seem to want to let go of your hand; as though the world would fall away if he didn't and that this would turn out to be a cruel dream. Still, you humored and spoiled him. As intended, you got all the toppings; Rick thought it was a kids dream come true with the amount of candy you had in your waffle bowl. And since you had enough to share, you took the liberty to feed him. He chatted on; offering charming stories from his band days; unlike other Ricks who were in a rock band called Flesh Curtains, his band had been a jazz and bossa nova trio; the band name had been comprised of a numerical equation; if you had named them you would've called them the Zeta Bytes.
Now, Rick wasn't a messy eater, but during one of his more excitable stories, he spilled a bit on the corner of his mouth. Ready with a napkin, you wiped it away, and couldn't help but laugh at how boyish it was. Giving your hand a squeeze, he absentmindedly brushed his thumb on the back of your hand; adoration coloring his voice. ā€œYou're t-t-too good to me.ā€
"There's no such thing. If anything, I gotta spoil you rotten."
You found no hindrance in his mood and this time he didn't think twice about kissing you then and there as he liked while you were still holding the napkin; fear and shame of public displays of affection being one less thing to worry about now. Who cared if your ice cream was melting, because your heart was melting; his mouth tasted of chocolate and promises. A soft chuckle escaped him as he pulled away; his promise whispered against your lips. "I-I promise I'll be good t-t-to you."
Being loved suited him; it really, really did wonders on his countenance and it made you wonder what else he could now do.
_________
By now you were a little tired, but Ricks contagious energy invigorated your spirits; you bet he could've come up with an invention and completed it today if he stayed this hyped up. Instead, he used that energy to make fresh rolls to go with the leftover acorn squash soup; you hadn't been that hungry, but you enjoyed it nonetheless. And when dinner had been eaten, you helped him with the dishes; nothing you hadn't done before, but his spirit was lighter and more at ease; he even bumped your hip with his as a gesture of playfulness. After cleaning up the kitchen, he decided that he'd like to take a shower and refresh himself and in the meantime, you stepped out into the backyard to enjoy the beauty of the night. In this part of town, despite the light pollution, you could see a fair amount of stars.
You had never studied astronomy, but Rick had shown you in diagrams and in textbooks of their names and explained how they were formed; to him, their complexity was like poetry, and it made them beautiful. You couldn't recite it by memory, but you had a feeling that beyond your current comprehension perhaps there was life amongst those heavenly bodies, despite the heat or deadly gases; if you had learned anything about space, it was that worlds were more along the lines of art and beauty than fields of science which were easily explained. Yet, in the air, where there was a sweet perfume, thick, but intoxicating, only where you were currently mattered; you saw that in the leftmost part of the yard there was jasmine which was currently in bloom; its blanket of flowers reminding you of snow. Hadn't you read of this somewhere before? Maybe.
In the grass near your feet, grasshoppers leaped away, and crickets chirped their songs. And you relished the strong breezes and the song of the night which may consume a melancholic heart if it were searching for tragedies instead of sweet dreams. And it had only been a few hours ago when you had thought that all of which transpired might've been a dream. Though, whatever truths that had come to light in the hours after the simulation, you were glad of them.
In the dark, sights and sounds were heightened and mesmerizing, albeit curious in its own right; if it hadn't been for the sound barrier Rick had on his property, you would've heard the obnoxious sound of the next-door neighbor's TV as they watched infomercials. Still, it was a beautiful night. Sitting on the bench which overlooked the whole yard, you thought of what wonderful things you'd like to share with Rick, and then he found you. For his part, he had changed into something more relaxed; into a light blue button-down that was similar to the one he was wearing earlier, but this one was softer, and it was paired with navy pants; it reminded you of blue pants Rick with his attire, but it was cute and suited him. With him, he had brought over a tray of goodies and you two ate cookies and cakes and drank earl grey under the moonlit night.
The pause in conversation gave allowances for observations. For example, you took a good long look at him as he sipped his tea; admiring how casual he appeared tonight. Without his labcoat or sweater, his identity seemed separate from that of his dimension jumping, scientist self; making way for the person deep inside; the friendly neighbor who won your heart without even trying. He noticed eventually that you had been staring at him, and he broke the silence with his inquiry. "What are y-you thinking about?"
"I'm thinking about you cutie. You umā€¦.you look really good in those blue pants of yours. Thinking of taking up modeling anytime soon?"
"N-no," he answered with an air of obliviousness that you found endearing. "not unless my next work assignment requires it. Gee, why do you ask?"
"Hmm, it's because you wear your clothes well. I always thought you did, but I don't believe I ever mentioned it."
He ruminated on what you said for a few minutes, before setting down his cup. "Did you - did you always find me attractive?"
"No," you confessed. "but you're the only person I've ever really been attracted to. Iā€¦..I always liked the fact that our relationship was built on something more substantial. You see, the more I got to know you, the more irresistible I found you. Though," you winked. "those teeth of yours were always too cute to resist."
This truth of yours made him comfortable enough to relinquish one of his own. "C-can I tell you a secret?"
"It's not much of a secret if you tell me dear, but you can tell me anyway."
Wringing his hands together, he confessed solemnly. "That day y-you tripped on the sidewalk nearby my house, I-I almost decided not to cross the road."
Not cross the road? Hmm, it had been an option. In your mind's eye, you could imagine it; the tall, lanky figure of a man debating against his better judgment on what he ought to do; so close but so far; knowing that he was altering the course of his future and putting yours at risk. Poor man, having to wallow over a moral dilemma like that. "Why is that?"
"Gosh, y-youā€¦.I didn't want to take advantage of the situation."
It could've been taken that way, but you never thought so. "So what changed your mind?"
"I thought you were going to cry, and I-I didn'tā€¦ I didn't want you to suffer anymore. I thought t-to myself, that if I got t-t-to know you, then you wouldn't have to be lonely anymore."
When he said this, you nearly couldn't look at him; not because he knew more than he let on, but because who knows what paths you two would've taken if he hadn't shown up that day. Tears bit at the back of your eyes, and your nails bit into your palms. "Dear, love isn't always a cure for heartache," He tensed up at this, but you knew you had to tell him. You weren't upset because you had guessed as much, but being assured of it cemented the fact. "but I'm sure that without you, without your friendship, I might not be here right now. I think I was depressed, and from time to time I still feel that way. Iā€¦I have thought of ways to make my troubles end, ways you might not have been proud of, but you've shown me a better way to live. I thinkā€¦no, I know that by expanding my horizons, I understand now that there's so much to look forward to, and not to take life for granted. Why," you paused, fighting the tears which threatened to fall. "you reminded me that I gotta make the most of this crazy, unpredictable life, and I'm happy that I'll get to do that with you."
He understood and accepted this answer and gave you a look of adoration and pride; the like that you hoped you'd always remember. And when you two were done with tea, you both took a walk about the garden. The sweet perfume of jasmine intermingled with that of the scent of his soap, and combined with the candor of his speech made this place feel like a well of comfort. He followed behind you as you two spoke, and you were conscious of the fact that with his freshly washed hair brushed back, it made him more appealing. His hands were in want of yours as he matched your pace, and you felt slightly mischievous as you'd skip or teased him to catch you; it wasn't long until he gathered you in his arms and laughed, and you asked without much seriousness for him to let you go, but while he loosened his grip, he didn't let go entirely. "Gosh, y-you make me feel so young. It - it feels so good to have you in my arms."
"Oh, really?" you giggled. "That's great to hear."
Pressing a kiss to your temple, he sighed. "It's unfortunate that I'm so old."
"That's okay. I like you as you are. It goes well with your personality."
"Thank you mi corazĆ³n. It feels good to hear that. However, can I-I ask you something?"
"Mhm."
"ĀæSi hubiera s-sido mĆ”s joven, habrĆ­a marcado la diferencia?"
"If you had been younger? I don't know. Possibly," you admitted. "I might've been less reluctant about my feelings at the beginning, but I truly don't know. I'd like to think that I'd still would've fallen for you anyway. You're a wonderful man Ricardo, you don't have to doubt that, anyone can see that. It doesn't matter how old you are, but it's who you are."
"Y-you're right." With reluctance, he allowed his arms to drop to his sides, and he wondered. "It um - it's getting late. Should I-I walk you home?"
Was he forgetting that he didn't have to? Maybe not. Perhaps he needed a sign; one that said that any suggestion of further intimacy was alright. "I thought I was home." you answered, "Don't you want me to stay?"
Scratching the back of his neck, he nodded. "Yes, I-I-I-I do."
"Then it's settled. We'll have a big sleepover," you brightened. "and it'll never have to end. I'll borrow a pair of your pj's and hog all the blankets because I'll get cold."
"And in - in the morning," he added warmly, "w-we can have pancakes."
"Yeah, and watch enough interdimensional cable to make us go blind."
"But I-I might have to work tomorrow."
"Oh. Well, then I guess I'll just have to eat all your snacks until you come back. We might have to take a trip to Costco at some point because they sell these mushroom crisps that are to die for."
Standing under the persimmon tree, he stepped forward and gave your shoulder a squeeze. "Y-you can have whatever you want," With a strong arm slipping around your waist, you felt almost shy at the way he smiled protectingly down at you. His warm breath ghosted about your ear, and his voice was above a whisper as he confessed. ā€œbecause I-I-I finally got you princess and I'm not - I'm not going t-to let you go.ā€
At the sound of this pet name, you felt a slight warmth rush to your cheeks, but you didn't laugh it off as you had once but agreed with warmth. ā€œYou may do as you please, Mr. Sanchez.ā€
And so he did. Without hesitation, he lifted your chin and brushed your lips with his thumb. His eyes sparkling with humor, promise, and a confidence that was somehow so very appropriate on his face. "I love you. I-I-I always have. From the time I first held your hand, I knew it had to be you. I would've been a fool if I - if I hadn't tried. Even now, it's hard to believe, but it's starting to sink in."
"Me too. It's unbelievable, but it's true and we have the paperwork to prove it."
Leaning down, he pressed a sweet kiss onto your lips. It was so gentle, it was as though you might break if he tried otherwise. Kissing you again, he sighed against your lips. "It's beautiful out t-tonight."
"It is."
Pressing a hand to his cheek, you softened. "But I think I'm ready to call it a night. Why don't we go in?"
Weaving his fingers with yours, he softened. "Okay."
You used to think to yourself and wonder if his house would ever be ready to receive you, but what you now realized was that it had always been ready, and only you had been waiting for it all to catch up; for him to know what he wanted and to be courageous and say; for you to know what you needed, and to accept that being yourself didn't make you any less attractive or unique and that you weren't alone; you had never been alone, for he had always been waiting. His home, why it was always home, but it was always home because he was what grounded you and you were what grounded him. And you felt so married to him then, and everything felt as it should. Nothing had really changed, except for a title, and a promise; for you two were friends as you had always been; him the happy go lucky old man, and you the silly neighbor who met him by accident, but you couldn't deny that you loved him with your entire being and so did he. As promised, he intended to do everything in his power to protect you, even as you two were getting ready for bed. His body seemed to curl around you as to shield you from whatever monsters could be hiding in the dark.
So, when it happened that you rested your head upon his chest and felt the temptation of sleep washing over you, you pressed a light kiss to his cheek and confessed softly. "I can't wait to wake up next to you."
Fin
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houseswolo Ā· 5 years ago
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Day 17 - 'Tis The Season To Be Thirsting
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"Oh come all ye Forceful..."
The last of our Thirsties to be showcased:
Wilson
(Tumblr: @wilsonthinks66ā€‹ | Twitter: Wilsonthinks66 | Ao3: Wilson66)
What got you into Star Wars?
When a certain Adam Driver revealed his beautiful face in The Force Awakens šŸ˜ helloo handsome
What made you a Reylo? Lightbulb moment!
"You're not alone." "Neither are you."
I think I told Luke to piss off and let them kiss!
Why do you write / make art?
Because why not?! I write when I have that little niggling idea that just won't go away.
The Object of your Thirstā€¦
Oh so many but if we're sticking to the Star Wars it's got to be the beautiful Adam Driver and my favourite ginger Domhnall Gleeson
Which Adam look do you like the best?
Unwrapped and bare chested šŸ¤¤šŸ˜
Which Adam avatar/ role do you like the best?
Flip Zimmerman, I think my stomach literally flipped (pun intended šŸ˜) when Adam wheeled around on that chair šŸ’¦šŸ’¦
Which part of Adam do you like the best?Ā 
A part? How can you only pick one part.
Favorite Star Wars Movie
Probably The Force Awakens, it was the film that made me watch the others in preparation, although Rogue one is a close second.
What do you like to write / draw / paint the most?
Don't judge me but I love writing angst obviously with a well earned happy ending. This is what I want to write as I've made a promise to myself to focus on what I enjoy reading/writing and not worry about others' opinions.
**Eyes the dark Evil Rey idea that won't leave me alone recently**
We'll get to you soon.
(HS: Dooo eeeet!)
Your TRoS Prediction
They all live happily ever after... Hux included šŸ¤žā¤ļø no I know that may be too optimistic but I do hope we get Bendemption šŸ˜
If you were an aesthetic... (colors, images, feels....)
Red and black are my favourite colour combination, although I adore autumn colours toošŸšŸ§”
What's your ideal environment for writing / creating?Ā 
Silence šŸ˜‚ seriously I am so easily distracted that I need solitary confinement šŸ˜… which may be why I sometimes struggle to finish fics.
Are you a dom or sub?Ā 
Switch baby! šŸ¤˜ For the perfect partner I'll be whatever they need šŸ˜
What's the most exotic/wierd place you've gotten intimate?
I've spent most of my life at yards, I'm not going to miss the opportunity to roll about the straw barn, now am I? šŸ™Š
What's your kink?
Who doesn't love a good Dom but on the flip who doesn't love a well-behaved sub? šŸ¤· I'm easily pleased.
Use three words to describe yourself
Loyal, kind (I hope I come across as such) and argumentative sometimes because I can fall out with myself if I'm that way inclined šŸ˜‚
Meaning behind your nick / ID name
Well it's my name and I wasn't feeling imaginative šŸ˜…
Are you a big spoon or little spoon?
I'm a don't touch me while a sleep spoon, solitary spoon šŸ˜˜
Do you like it rough or soft?Ā 
See if you pick one, you lose out on the other. I'm too greedy for that.
Favorite fic you read
Unexpected by pontmercy44. The first star wars fandom fic I ever read that introduced me into this world, I guess.
Favorite fic you wrote or favorite art you made
Decades to Fall for Sunshineflying. A reyux fic (don't shoot the multishipper!) That I just loved writing and wish that every fic was that easy to create. šŸ˜ā¤ļø
Favorite SW character besides Kylo and Rey
Oh well this is so hard for me umm šŸ¤” maybe that ginger General of First Order... I struggle to remember his name šŸ˜˜ love me some Hux
______
Taz
(Tumblr: @tazwren | Twitter: WrenTaz | Ao3: TazWren & TrashcanWren)
What got you into Star Wars?
Literally, a lightsaber being stuck into my hand, at 7yrs, and being asked to be Vader to my cousinā€™s Luke Skywalker. Iā€™d never heard of SW till that moment, and I fell headfirst into the Dark Side and in love with the galaxy far, far away! Its been the one franchise that as been a constant for me, the whole time growing up, and Iā€™ve loved having something SW to look forward to every few years. SW and Reylo lifer! šŸ˜šŸ˜šŸ˜ŽšŸ˜Ž
What made you a Reylo? Lightbulb moment!
ā€œYou are not alone.ā€ The minute Kylo/Ben said those words, I was gone for Reylo. No true villain would give a flying fuck about his so-called adversaryā€™s mental and emotional health. When their hands touched? I screeched in that theatre! And I may have yelled at Luke as well. Walked out and hunted for Kylo/Rey fanfics and the rest was history!
Why do you write / make art?
I do because the stories show up and make it impossible for me to do anything else but tell them. They buzz and breed and drown out all other sounds, like manic mosquitoes. They can be quite a nuisance that way, but... *throws up hands* ... I gots to do what they tell me to do! šŸ˜†
The Object of your Thirstā€¦
Uh, do I even need to answer this? Adam Douglas Driver, Mr.Sensitive-on-a-stick, BDE Boss hisself šŸ˜ŽšŸ˜
Once I discovered him, all others ceased to exist for me. (Hugh, who? Chris, what?)
Which Adam look do you like the best?
I like Adam every which way, but my favorites are with facial scruff and slightly shaggy hair - Phillip Altman meets Ben Swolo.Ā Oooh, anytime he is a sweater (or half out of one!) or with his shirtsleeves rolled up. So, um, yeah... šŸ˜
Which Adam avatar/ role do you like the best?
Philip Altman is BAE - he always lightens my heart. And Ben Solo? He owns the frickinā€™ thing. So yeah, anyone who knows me, knows one ainā€™t enoughĀ šŸ˜
Which part of Adam do you like the best?
His face - itā€™s so emotive and expressive! His eyes, those lips, that smile that launches a gazillion ships. His hands, his strong-ass arms. That glorious mane of hair. Have I mentioned them tiddies and the tree-trunk thighs?! Oh, and when he flexes his back, and...
Uh... letā€™s just say, everything Adam?Ā 
Favorite Star Wars Movie
The Last Jedi was the most beautifully written and shot movie in the entire franchise, with a depth of characterization and exploration of symbolism that was brilliant. This will always rate as the best for me. A close second, and one I will always love, is Empire Strikes Back. That was quintessential Star Wars and an amazingly good watch - snark, action, angst, love, betrayal, rescue, OMFG!
What do you like to write / draw / paint the most?
Until I started writing Reylo, Iā€™d never been able to write fiction. I could never visualize the stories. And once I started, I havenā€™t been able to stop! Iā€™ll write anything Reylo, Iā€™ll try writing anything at least once (so, yeah, there may be dark fic as well one day!). My style defaults to either mildly angsty, or humour-laced fluff, or depraved smut. So, not sure what that says about me šŸ˜‚
Your TRoS Prediction
Bendemption. Reylo. *mic drop*
If you were an aesthetic... (colors, images, feels....)
Blacks, Reds, Greys, slashes of bright turquoise and white and ochre. Blue and white-striped awnings shading an alfresco cafe, overlooking a green ocean. Bright, city lights, reds and yellows glinting off the black water of a bay. A busy airport, with the scents of perfume from Duty-Free as you zoom past it.
If you were a candy bar, what would your name be?
The Ever-lasting Gobstopper šŸ˜‚
What's your ideal environment for writing / creating?
In a hotel room, on my own. In the back of cab, in the window-seat of an airplane. At my desk, looking out through the window as the breeze blows through the trees, and the Burn This playlist keeps going on repeat.Ā 
Are you a dom or sub?
Both? Both is good.
What's the most exotic/wierd place you've gotten intimate?
On the back of a bike, in the middle of the night, stopped at a traffic intersection.
What's your kink?
Size. Hands. Humour. Fidelity, and yet threesomes (go figure, Iā€™m depraved). Mild Dom. Intelligence and thoughtfulness. Hair. Fuck it, Adam.
Use three words to describe yourself
Loyal, funny, organized-chaos (its a thing, trust me!)
Meaning behind your nick / ID name
Iā€™ve always had Taz as a nickname, for the Warner Bros Tasmanian Devil (yes, Iā€™ve been known to be exactly like that! šŸ˜‚). Wren is a nod to Kylo Ren, and the fact that one of the earliest fanfics I read had Rey naming her sonĀ ā€˜Wrenā€™ as a backhanded pointer to Kylo! So Iā€™m, Taz, a Knight of Ren.
Are you a big spoon or little spoon?
I can be both, till I fall asleep. Then, pls leave me tf alone šŸ˜¬šŸ˜
Do you like it rough or soft?
Both - why choose?!
Favorite fic you read
There are so very many in this amazing fandom! The one that Iā€™ve loved from the beginning, though, is The Art of Broken Pieces - a beautifully written Bendemption fic.Ā 
Favorite fic you wrote or favorite art you made
God, this is hard! My recent favorites are Brooklyn Bridge Blues, Caught Between Beats, and A Taste For Two - I like that Iā€™m able to explore a variety of stories and emotions through them. Iā€™m most proud of Confidences To A Stranger because I was able to explore a storytelling medium that I hadnā€™t before.Ā 
Favorite SW character besides Kylo and Rey
Padme Amidala - she reminds me of my mother and grandmother, both of whom were strong women, who got shit done, while always taking care of their people. She was a queen in more than just name. Han Solo - I am weak for a scoundrel/villain/bad boy in a leather jacket, with a hardass, snarky exterior that hides a heart of gold. The reluctant hero.šŸ’™
____
Meet the other Thristies! Thirst Order Advent Calendar Day:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14Ā | 15 | 16
cc: @tazwren @drnucleus @ashtyntaytertot @deadlikemoi @nite0wl29 @thereylowritingden @houseplaidam @housedadam @house-crylo @housereysistance @my-jedi-life @shestoolazytologin @koderenn @thoseindarkness @areylofan @lostinqueue-ffa @queenoferebor Ā @cosmo-gonika @roguesinside @wilsonthinks66 Ā @dangertaylor @lilia-ula @wandering-minds-found @looc-at-me @hopelesslyreylo @ferashacosplay @andabatae-writes @semperfidani ā€‹ @reylo-fade-to-grey @cb-lainey-schooled
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pbandjesse Ā· 6 years ago
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Im real tired. I somehow lost the last hour. Just laying here. I am going to try to go to bed very soon.
I did not sleep well last night. I just couldn't turn my brain off. I think I fell asleep around 2. So getting up at 8 when my alarm went off was not going to happen.
I sort of half slept until 10. A little before 10. I got up and took a shower. I tried to not feel miserable. I had really wanted to work in my studio but I just couldn't shake it off.
I had a small breakfast. And I packed a lunch. I mostly just hung out on the couch. And then I decided I would just go to work. I left the house at 11. And got the bus pretty quickly. I was at the school by 11:30.
I spent my time there making some posters with our daily schedule and with some jobs. I made a whole new system which ended up working out really well and the kids seem to very much respond to. I did some cleaning and organizing. I'm mad at a few of the kids pieces that had accidentally gotten left behind. It was a nice morning.
Fitsum came around 1 and I got a little annoyed because he had made a lesson plan and just didn't send it to me for whatever reason. So even though I wrote one I wasn't going to argue. I'll just save it for later. But then Tiffany talk to him and we are going to possibly be switching teachers. I'm going to stay with 4th grade and fitsum might be moving too 5th. While Liz will stay with 5th and Mister Dee will come to 4th grade with me. That could go either way. I like Dee. I'm just hoping that it'll be a positive change for everyone. We'll see what happens.
But today would be the same. I went and collected the kids and then we went over our new rules and we made a class agreement and it was really good. They were really responding to us and being very respectful today. It felt pretty awesome.
We went out to recess and was cold out but I have some nice conversations with the kids. Couple of them confided in me about how they knew I would listen to them. And it was really nice.
Dinner was fine. They had french fries and they let me get some french fries too. So that was exciting. The kids cleaned up the tables and then we headed to the classroom to do art.
We decided that on our schedule 3:45 to 4 would be quiet instruction time. And only gets stuck to that basically. There was a little complaining and grumbling. About when we would start actually making art. But I think being consistent with the schedule is going to help them with some of the behavior issues that we tend to come across.
And having the 45 minutes of solid art time really seemed to work for them. They never really seemed to get bored in it. And even the ones that finished a little too fast I was able to redirect them a bit. We just drew and it was really good.
Cleanup could have gone smoother. My new system for who's in charge of cleaning up what got a little Askew. I think it's just going to be repetition of explaining what the cleaning groups me in. But in general it went really well and I'm very happy with how today went.
I took the kids to pick up. And there was a couple issues because one of my students had a watch it went missing. And the mom was saying that the kids were thieves and all the stuff and I promised I would shake them down tomorrow. And then 20 minutes later she comes back because they were halfway home and my students covered the watch was in his pocket. Which is what I said. That it was probably in his backpack or something. But whatever. And then we spent the next hour and change hanging their work for the show next week.
Honestly it all looks great. Me and fitsum we're basically done hanging all of our stuff at around a quarter to seven. So after some fussing with the tape and putting sculptures in the case in the hallway we headed home.
I got in the door right at 7. I that sweet pea and I have a sandwich. And then I messed around with my 1998 Furbys. I put batteries in Pascal, the baby oh, and he has the sweetest voice. He's calls me Mama and giggles and sings. His ears move which I was excited about. And I was hoping that he would communicate with Pongo but she was having issues turning on. So I had to do some vinegar wipe Downs of her battery pack to get her to turn on and then because she doesn't talk they didn't really communicate. But that's okay.Lil John will not turn on. I think I have to take the skin off and manually restart the motor. Because she's in a down position and not sleeping position? At least that's what my research has shown. I still don't feel completely comfortable doing that but we'll see what happens. I might try that on Saturday when I have the day off.
I played with those for a while and then watch the video. At 8 I went down to the basement to work on some art finally. I traced all of the watercolor flowers I have made and cut them all out. And I'm very pleased with how they look. Talking to Jess I think a tentative plan is that we're going to do one wreath a month. So this will be a much smaller scale project. But I want to be able to spend more time on the research and the sketching and all of the parts that go behind this project. So this one will be for the month of January even though it's mostly done at this point. I want to get some more research done for one's going forward and not rush. And if I can make more than one a month that's fine. But Jess is also doing it actual Hands-On part and she works differently than me. So I don't want to rush her either. Or make her feel like it's homework. It's supposed to be a fun thing.
I went and checked the mail and the Magnetic eyelashes I had purchased came. They are very silly. I cut them in half because I felt like they were too long. And it's definitely a look. Maybe for like a special event or something but I can't imagine actually wearing them for more than an hour or so. It's a very bizarre product.
I've been laying in bed for a while now though. Trying to get this post done trying not to be distracted by sweet pea. I really just want to get some sleep.
Tomorrow I'm hoping to wake up and work on some art again. Maybe clean something. Teaching all afternoon. Finishing hanging up our art. And then I'm supposed to have dinner with James. I have Friday and Saturday off. We were going to go to DC to go to the National Gallery on Friday but the government is still shut down. So I probably am not going to see that Rachel Whitehead show. But that's okay. I think we're going to try to do something else on Friday and then we might go ice skating. I hope it's just a nice day what's my favorite guy. Sleep well everyone. Stay warm.
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urlocal-lgt-rep Ā· 6 years ago
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Be my Valentine?
First fic!! There may be a part two if y'all want..
Pairing: Awkward! Calum and Y/N
You and Michael doubled over in laughter, tears rolling down your face as Luke strutted down the hallway towards you. His hand was on his hip, your old stilettos on his feet, a 5sos crop top revealing his stomach, and an unforgettable pair of booty shorts on.
Ā Ashton put on a manager's voice through stifled giggles. ā€œOh, no. Go back to hell Jessica! I've already told you, booty shorts are so last summer.ā€
Ā Luke managed to not to laugh, and instead pouted with his stained pink lips. ā€œBut baby! Doesn't my butt look poppinā€™?ā€ he asked, turning around and bending slightly down so we could get a better look at how much was showing.
Michael made a yelping sound and moved his hand in front of his face so he could block his not-so-pleasant view. ā€œJesus Christ, can you put that thing away?ā€
ā€œOh, please, Michael. You wouldn't be saying that if it was Y/N wearing those,ā€ Luke teased. He had always teased the boys about wanting to get together with you, but you had never let it get to your head. After all, the boys were just your friends.
ā€œExcuse me?ā€ you pretended to be offended, ā€œ- I would never wear something so 2017.ā€ You turned the conversation back onto Ashtonā€™s critiquing of Lukeā€™s outfit so the boys would be too preoccupied with laughing to notice you weren't. You wanted to reflect for a second on how lucky you were to be here with these boys.
When you had met Aston in primary school, you never expected he would become your best friend. You never expected him to introduce you to three other boys who would become new best friends to you, but here you were. The boys often looked at you like a little sister and treated you like one, too, but you were only a few months younger than Luke- a few months Luke would never let you forget.
Ā Ā Ā He was constantly teasing you and would never stop cracking jokes. The fans thought of you two as twins since you two got your first piercing together. Luke had long taken his lip ring out, but you kept your septum ring in most of the time. You loved the memory of it. You loved the day that you and Luke came home to the boys with the piercings and how much they freaked out, going absolutely crazy about the new ā€œholes in your faceā€.
Ā Ashton was the complete opposite of thrilled when he saw. Sure, it looked nice and all, but do you know what you just did?! ā€œI promised your mother I would take care of you. This is not me taking care of you!ā€ he had exclaimed and made you apologize to your mother (after he had apologized 10 times, of course).
Mikey, on the other hand, was absolutely ecstatic when he saw. He insisted that now you had joined the ā€œCool-Guy Club" with him, so Luke asked if he had joined too. Spoiler alert- Michael said no. Michael was like the wild best friend. He spoke his mind and didn't care what others thought which was an easy to admire quality. However, there were also times where he acted like he didn't care at all even if he did. You had watched many of his relationships end because of it.
Calum was the one you talked to the least, but still a close friend. He was often very quiet and shy, but came alive on stage. Many of the fans had labeled him as ā€œthoughtful" or ā€œwise", and they weren't wrong. Cal liked to keep to himself and only added on to a conversation when he had something important to say. It was a trait you didn't have.
Ā Sure, you could stay quiet, but it wasn't because you were waiting to say something interesting; you had learned to stay quiet since the boys were always doing interviews or videos for the fans and you didn't want to interrupt.
Ā ā€œBoys! You're on in 10-" one of the men who worked with the boys froze in his tracks as he eyed Luke up and down. ā€œYou know what, I'll stall for 15 minutes. Go get ready,ā€ he sighed defeatingly.
Ā The boys eventually got on stage, although about 20 minutes later than planned. The cheers were something you could never get used to hearing. You sang along with them and mimicked their crazed expressions. Every now and then, one of the boys would look over to you and laugh until Michael started to speak into the mike.
Ā ā€œDammit Y/N! I'm trying to play here!ā€ he laughed and the crowd yelled even louder than normal at the mention of you; the boysā€™ right hand. The fans knew they didn't go anywhere without you so they usually referred to you as the fifth member. They knew you also helped with songwriting and had even written some of the bandā€™s most popular songs.
Ā But that didn't mean that all the fans loved you. There were plenty of fans who despised you for the relationship you had with the boys. They hadn't deemed you worthy enough of their attention, but here you were anyway, powering through the hate comments. Like any other female that was close to 5sos, there were many hate accounts made especially about you. Sure, what they said hurt. A lot. But you had the support of the boys to keep you going.
After another amazing concert from the boys, they ran off stage. Ash even tried hugging you with his sweaty arms, to which you responded by running away from him and straight into Calum.
Immediately the smell of his cologne filled your nose, but you forced yourself to back up. You mouthed the word ā€œsorry" to him, but then decided to make the best of the situation and pulled him in for another embrace. ā€œMmm, Calumā€™s hugs are so wonderful!ā€ you announced, hoping to annoy Ashton.
Calum seemed to get the hint because he nervously placed his hands on your back, only using a small bit a pressure to press you into his chest as if he was afraid to hurt you. ā€œMan, Y/N I really wanted a hug from you. So nice!ā€ he bragged to an infuriated Ashton.
You pulled away from the hug and Calum weakly smiled at you before his arms retreated back to his side. Turning back to Ashton, you stuck your tongue out at him.
Ā ā€œI'm starving, dude. How about we go eat somewhere?ā€ Michael asked, turning to you with a pouty face. ā€œPlease?ā€
You were usually the one who had to out their foot down when it came to the boys spending money, but you didn't see how a little dinner could hurt. Besides, you were pretty hungry too, so you nodded at him.
ā€œOh, yeah! Time to feast!ā€ Michael exclaimed along with cheers from the other boys.
Maybe this wasn't a good idea.
The five of you entered the not easily selected restaurant with frowns on all of your faces except for Luke, who was giddy from having win the rock-paper-scissors championship you had had in the car as a way of choosing a place to eat. Upon your arrival, the waitress told you that a table of five wasn't available, but that you could have a booth if you wanted. You eyed the hungry boys and decided sooner was better than later.
Once you were led to the booth, Ashton frowned. ā€œWho's going to be 3 to a seat and who's going to be 2?ā€
ā€œAnother rock-paper-scissors war?ā€ Luke let his swelled ego show.
You all agreed to it, but the results were not in your favor. Luke and Michael got to sit together while you, Ashton, and Calum ended up having to squeeze next to each other. For some reason, Ashton thought having you in the middle was an amazing idea, so here you were- squished between Ashton Irwin and Calum Hood. From a fangirlā€™s point of view, this would be heaven. From your point of view, it was hell.
You all ordered your drinks, but as they came to the table you realized you couldn't really move your arms to reach it. Calum, who was sitting on the open end of the booth, ended up having to grab your food and drinks for you.
ā€œThanks, Cal. I'm sorry I can't reach; it's not easy being short!ā€
The quiet boy smiled sheepishly at you and went to out his hand back down before realizing that he accidentally put his hand on your thigh. ā€œShit, Y/N! I'm so sorry! It was a complete accident. I swear I'm not a perv-"
His rambling were cut off my your unusually weakened voice. ā€œIt's- It's completely fine!ā€ You were caught entirely off guard by his hand- his warm, gentle handā€¦ Stop Y/N! There was an undeniable tingle it had given you, a feeling you longed to have again. But it wasn't because Calum! It must've been a long time since you've gotten laid, that's all. Nothing to do with one of your closest friends.
For the rest of the meal, Calum was quiet and so were you. The boys expected it from Cal, but it was a complete surprise from you.
Ā ā€œY/N!!! Why won't you talk to me?!ā€ Luke whined.
Ā ā€œBecause, Luke, she doesn't like you.ā€ Michael said as if it was common knowledge.
ā€œWhat? And she likes you? I'm her best friend!ā€ Luke threw a fry at Michael, to which Michael threw a fry back and started a food war. Sadly, the war was ended before a winner was selected due to you guys getting kicked out of the restaurant.
Calum sighed. ā€œWhy don't we just go home a watch a movie before any of you get us banned from another restaurant,ā€ he huffed, glaring at the initiate.
ā€œAmazing idea! Can we stop at the store to get some food for the movie?ā€ you looked at Calum with puppy eyes.
He didn't meet your gaze, and instead looked in the opposite direction. ā€œSure. I guess- I guess we can make a stop.ā€
Ā After getting kicked out of another store (trust me, you don't wanna know), you guys finally arrived home. Ashton put the chosen horror film on as you made the guys popcorn. Ashton had you sit next to him once again with Calum and Michael in other chairs and Luke on the ground.
Ā Shortly after the movie started, you noticed what you thought to be someone staring at you. You tried to look in the direction of those eyes, but you couldn't see anything. The only people there were Luke and Cal, but none of them were looking at you. You decided it was just the movie getting to you. Until it happened again and you swore you saw Calumā€™s brown eyes looking at you. Before you could meet his eyes, Calum quickly turned his head away from you and back at the movie. After that, no matter how many times you glanced in his direction, you never caught staring again. You decided not to try again, but the temptation was too powerful. You looked again and saw he was sleeping. Unfortunately for you, Luke was not.
Ā ā€œY/N, I know I'm hot, but please stop staring,ā€ he teased.
Ā ā€œWhat?ā€ Ashton asked. He was always protective when it came to you maybe having a crush on one of the boys.
ā€œNothing, Ash. Luke's just full of himself,ā€ you teased back.
Soon enough, all the boys had fallen asleep so you decided it was time to go back home. You didn't love far, but you also didn't want to sleep at the boy's house without invitation.
As you grabbed your keys, a tired voice startled you. ā€œWhereā€™re you goinā€™?ā€
ā€œHome, Cal,ā€ you couldn't help but smile at how how words slurred together in a sleepy mess.
ā€œIt's pretty late. Are you sure you want to walk down there? You know you could always stay here,ā€ he offered, getting up from the chair and walking towards you. He rubbed at his eyes as if to make him more awake.
ā€œIt's okay Calum-"
ā€œYou know it's what Ashton would want,ā€ he interrupted you with a point you knew would agree with .
ā€œWellā€¦.if you think that's what I should doā€¦ā€
ā€œIt's what- It's whatever you want. You don't need to do it because I said so or anything. I'll even walk you home, just let me grab my coat and keys and-ā€
You cut him off with a kiss on the cheek. It was nothing special; you did it to the rest of the boys, but you had never done it to Calum. ā€œThanks for the concern, Cal, but I'll be fine. I'd like to sleep in Ashā€™s bed. It's payback time!ā€
It took Calum a few seconds, but he finally found his voice over his flushed cheeks. ā€œPayback? What did he do?ā€
ā€œHad drunk sex in my bed,ā€ you shrugged your shoulders. You were mostly over it, but you weren't going to pass up an opportunity to get back at him for it.
Ā Calum openly laughed, something he didn't do often. You smiled at his crinkled eyes and wide smile; you decided you wanted to see more of it. ā€œI'm not going to ask. You know where his room is, right? I'll be right next to your room if you need anything. Don't be afraid to ask, I probably won't be sleeping tonight. You know, songwriting and all. And now I'm rambling again. Ā It's a tired thing. Well I'm actually going to go now so I can shut up. Sleep well, Y/N.ā€ Calum awkward walked away as you giggled.
Ā Ā Damn, you didn't realize it could be so nice around him. You realized you really wanted to get to know him better. The thought dominated your mind for the rest of the night until you fell asleep to an unrecognizable song Calum was singing in the room next to you.
Ā I love the light in your eyes and the dark in your heart
You love our permanent chase and the bite of our bark
We know we're classic together like Egyptian gold
We love us
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thebootybitchdragon Ā· 8 years ago
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So, first of all, I am super excited to have found somebody as excited about the clone as I am. I've been thinking about it a lot since Butch posted his video. But, I'm confused, because I thought this was ten years into the future? Wouldn't original Danny be older? Like 24 I think? Aside from that, you guys got some really good ideas about this character, and I've been laughing at some of the comments for a good few minutes.
AHHHH someone else who likes the clone!Welcome friend!!! 8) lmao, I was browsing the Phantom tag yesterday waswas so disheartened by how many people were irritable at all of thedesigns or downright kicking them to the curb. Which, isunderstandable, everyone has their tastes, and I agree that most ofthem are justā€¦..Put Them Back embodiments, but it was still sad tosee so little interest in the Clone.
Because its such a good idea ripe withpotential, both for TUE levels of darkness and for hilariousscenarios. For once (ONCE) Butch has done okay by me.
And now to actually answer yourquestion, lmao: Yes, you are correct, the original concept was Vladfor ten years into the future, with a teenage Danny clone (I do admitthatā€™s super squick, like Vlad do you have no other hobbies besidesbeing fucking creepy? Go outside and play some tennis my dude.) sincethe video was a part 2 to the original Phantom concepts for the tenyear anniversary. However, at least in the ideas and concepts Iā€™vebeen talking about and personally throwing around, Iā€™ve gotten rid ofthe ten year span.
Because it literally doesnā€™t makesense.
I have contempt for the officialPhantom timeline bc its so inconsistent, but a majority of peoplehave it taking place over a two year time span, based on the twosummer episodes. (This is something I personally donā€™t agree with,but I have no evidence to argue it so Iā€™m stuck like a petulantchild grumbling in the corner) and Vlad gives Valerie her gear in S1Ep10, Shades of Grey. I cannot recall if it was specifically statedin canon Vlad was using her to get Dannyā€™s DNA, but Iā€™m trustingthe wiki bc I really donā€™t want to endure re-watching Kindred Spiritsand D-Stabalized. If we assume that this had been Vladā€™s goal fromthe start (something I disagree with and will touch more aboutbelow), that means that heā€™s been gathering Dannyā€™s DNA for about ayear to two years if we estimate heavily with the nonsense timebetween the episodes.
In that time span, he figured out howto do the cloning, built the equipment, went through countlessprototypes to figure out all the bumps and snags, made severaldecently ā€œfunctionalā€ clones (Dani and the one he fucking murdersas a display), made the ā€œperfectā€ one, and figured out exactlywhat he needed to stabilize an artificial hybrid of ghost and humanorigin.
In two years max.
It would not take him ten fuckin yearsto recreate a successful perfect clone. Even if everything wasdestroyed twice and he lost Valerieā€™s ā€œassistanceā€. And thereason for that is because he already knows how. The hard part isdone. Once you know how to do something through so much trial anderror, you know what not to do and what you should do the nexttime around. Vlad doesnā€™t need to re-figure out how to make astable, perfect clone again, he can just get the equipment, the DNA,whatever and just do it.
Which he was most likely attemptingto already do in D-stabilized.
[Edit: I neglected to look on thewiki before writing this entire thing bc I was confident I know thematerial and apparently I need to get a reality check on my ego bc Iwas completely misremembering D-Stabalized. The fallowing should betaken with gratuitous lumps of salt bc Iā€™m salty at this discoveryand also I havenā€™t changed anything in it.]
Why do you think hewas going after Dani? Why would he want that information of ā€œWhyare you so stable?ā€ if he wasnā€™t trying again? If he wasnā€™t at thepoint that he NEEDED to stabilize something? For future knowledge?Please. If Vlad was truly going to make another perfect clone, hewould not wait several months after loosing the first doing literallynothing but tormenting Danny and being an ass, nor until after heā€™sfigured out Dani. He was working on the Clone project for a long timeunder everyoneā€™s noses in the first place, so whoā€™s to say he wasnā€™tagain?
Iā€™m saying Vlad wasliterally within inches of succeeding in D-stabalized. That healready had a second Clone ready to stabilize.
[Edit: I was incorrect in thinkingVlad only wanted Dani to learn why sheā€™s stable, he wanted to use herto make another perfect clone. I was close, but not close enough. Iam still standing by my theory, however, canon can suck it. Itā€™sstill at least feasible.]
Hartman suggestedin the video, as Iā€™m sure you know, that the Clone (I call himDaniel bc thereā€™s literally no way heā€™s not namedDaniel.) has some of Vlad in him. And this, my friend, melds so well with where canon dropped off.
Vlad wanted andattempted to stabilize the clones with Dannyā€™s full DNA, probably soit would be 100% Danny, enough to the point he was willing to murderDani to figure her out/use her. However, after failing to get themid-morph from Danny (failure 1) and failing to get anything fromDani (failure 2), Vlad would be unlikely to try the same thingsagain. I would also like to think heā€™d also be unlikely to continuing to announce ā€œOI Iā€™M CLONEING YOUā€ to Danny, but itā€™sVlad so you never know.
He would be forcedto think of something else.
There is nothing incanon suggesting that Vlad couldnā€™t use his own mid-morph tostabalize a clone. He never brings it up, never explains why themid-morph is the critical link aside from the fact that it just is.Thereā€™s very little info about just how these clones are made, sothereā€™s no known rules to what could work and what wouldnā€™t. A possible reason this might not work is that it could function likebody parts or blood types, where you need a match in order for it tobe properly accepted. In that case, however, its just figuring outwhat you need to tweak in order to force an acceptance, somethingprobably made easier to do when youā€™re in control of the entiregenetic sequence youā€™re fiddling with.
This would not taketen years to do. None of it would. It would take at most, I think ayear. Maybe two, but thatā€™s pushing it. I also have a theorythat Vlad was being so obtuse in Season 3 was to purposefullydistract Danny, but take that as you will.
This is all of myfancy way of explaining why my personal ideas are set so close to theactual canon and kicking that gross ten years to the curb.
As for my forgotten notion about why Idonā€™t think Vlad started cloning from Valerieā€™s beginning was becauseVlad was still mostly focused on Maddie up until Maternal Instincts,which occurs 6 episodes after Shades of Grey. Shades of Greyis only three episodes from Bitter Reunions as well.Thatā€™s a pretty small amount of time for someone still (reasonably)sane to go ā€œI liked that kid, I want him to be my son. I shouldclone him.ā€
Iā€™d also like to state that in the fourepisodes Vlad appears in before Kindred Spirits (not including TUE)but after Maternal Instincts, not once is his main goal Danny.Nor is it ever Maddie, either. Danny becomes a factor in MillionDollar Ghost, however his main goal is still stealing the portal. InReign Storm, heā€™s more inclined to use Danny than to try to make himhis son, bc again: his goal is the artifacts. In Secret Weapons, Vladisnā€™t even interested in Danny when heā€™s dropped in the middleof his lab. Tbh, I canā€™t for the life of me figure out what Vladā€™sgoal was in the whole sibling battle thing, he really just fucked hisplans up himself in that one. In Masters of All Time, his goal wasthe cure, and again, had no problems using Danny as a pawn.
Kindred Spirits is the first place inthe entire series where we see the extent of how far heā€™s willing togo to get Danny to be his son. The first episode where itā€™s his maingoal.
I just realized how close MaoT andKinSpirits are, I wonder if Vlad triggered the Ectoacne flare workingwith the ectoplasm for the clones? Hmmm, interesting.
Anyway, the point is: Vlad kept hiscloning stuff a secret, but for how long remains a mystery. Mostlybecause thereā€™s no point in time where it becomes obvious just howdesperate he is to have Danny. Is it when he saw an opportunity withValerie? Or is it after Danny ruins his attempts to get the Ring ofRage back from Pariah by blowing up the ectosuit so he was just likeā€œWell fuck, now what do I do to keep myself busy?ā€
Getting back onto the topic of Cloneand Original Danny, thereā€™s a second, lesser reason Iā€™ve personallybumped the time skip, and thatā€™s because there would be literallyZero conflict between a 14 year old and a 24 year old.
OlderDanny would kick his ass, trainingfrom Vlad be damned.
OlderDanny would also not be fazed asmuch as a younger Danny as his identity being perverted by a clone.This is because the age gap would automatically render them as beingtwo different people. OlderDanny would not see the clone as himself,at least not fully, because heā€™s already a mature adult. The clonecould not torment Danny with the fact that heā€™s him, that heā€™sstealing anything, that heā€™s threatening his notion of being andsense of self. Because OlderDanny has nothing to fear about a youngerversion of himself; heā€™s stronger, wiser, and different enough. Thedynamic simply doesnā€™t work. This is why Danny could be okay withDani: he doesnā€™t see himself in her. He doesnā€™t think of her as aclone, as the doppelganger. Because sheā€™s a girl, sheā€™s younger,sheā€™s different. She isnā€™t him in his eyes.
With an identical copy, thatā€™s notsomething you can avoid or ignore. Canā€™t deny that its not your facetwisting into that evil smirk that looks so wrong because itsfamiliar but not. Its you, but its not, and its uncomfortable,its an invasion of privacy, the ultimate identity theft. Its a personthat wears your face, sees with your eyes, speaks with your voice,thinks with your brain, and bleeds with your blood. And yet its notyou.
The closest thing Danny had to this wasDan. But Dan could be defeated. Dan could be made so that he neverexisted in the first place, completely avoided.
Daniel could not.
Danielā€™s creation is out of Dannyā€™scontrol, his existence never takes into account what Danny wants orcares, because its done at Vladā€™s whims. And thatā€™s the worstpart: the lack of control. To know that an identical yet completelywrong version of yourself exists against your will and you haveabsolutely no control over it is torture, especially for someone whoalready had cause to fear himself once before. Sure, Danny can fightDaniel, suck him up into a thermos, and maybe kick it into the ghostzone to try to be rid of him forever, but he would still existand he could always come back. Unlike Dan. Ā And thereā€™snothing Danny could do about it.
What even could be do? Try todestabilize him? Ask clockwork to erase him from existence? Lock himin a thermos and bury him deep in the ice caps? Kill him?
Would Danny truly be the person to tryany of those?
In other words, the closer Daniel is tobeing like Danny, the worse effect it would have. So its all aboutmaximizing that to get the full potential of the conflict. Dannyneeds a reason to see Danielā€™s creation as the ultimate line crossed,the ā€œThis has gone too farā€ moment. Danny needs a reasonto not only despise, but fear his clone.
There are someā€¦.problems, with this,and Iā€™ve already used them in my argument: the fact that it another you is too different, you stop seeing it as yourself. AndDaniel is not an identical copy. He has aspects of Vlad in him.Thereā€™s a very fine line to be walked, between Daniel being similarenough that it hurts Danny while being different enough to count as adifferent character. The design alone might already doom it. But fuckit, you people can pry my inverted skunk haired baby from my colddead hands.
I realize that this is a very longresponse, and very little of it pertains to what you asked. However,I hope you enjoyed my analysis and my explanation of my personalreasoning. This was a lot of fun to talk about (I canā€™t remember if Igot into some of the things in other asks or if Iā€™m recalling themfrom a thing I was gonna post but hasnā€™t gotten to yet. If thereare repeat things, Iā€™m sorry! My memory is v bad.) and I thank youfor the ask!
I also realize that a majority of thisask talks about making Daniel Dannyā€™s worst enemy, which goes againstthe ā€œThey slowly become bed budsā€ ask I got earlier. I receivedthat ask before I really had any ideas of what to do with Daniel, andsince Iā€™m loving this worst enemy idea, the conflict isunderstandable. The friend idea is still on the table tho! All itneeds now is a climax, a trigger, a turning point. Something thatchanges the dynamic to start that ā€œI hate you, but not as much as Idid, and I kinda sorta enjoy your company a little bit.ā€ ball aā€™rollin.
Fuck if I know what that is tho lmao
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sending-the-message Ā· 7 years ago
Text
I found a notebook in an abandoned house, and now I've got a headache that won't go away by toomuchfog
Iā€™m what you would call ā€œbetween homesā€ right now. Without getting into details, letā€™s just say that my life hasnā€™t exactly panned out the way Iā€™d like it to, and Iā€™ve been drifting across this great country of ours for the better part of two years.
A few months ago, I found a notebook. Itā€™s lonely being a wandering hermit. I love books, though, and Iā€™ll read whatever I can get my hands on. Iā€™ve been staying in abandoned houses for the most part -- in this economy, they arenā€™t hard to come across. I wouldnā€™t exactly say that Iā€™ve been living the high life, but Iā€™m usually able to find a roof to put over my head and a couch to sleep on.
Youā€™d be surprised what people leave behind. Electronics donā€™t work without power, but people leave behind entire collections of books. I was staying at this one house, up in Washington, I think it was, and I found an entire private home library all about living off the land and such. I think thatā€™s the house where I found the notebook. I just sort of grabbed it along with a few other books about camping and roughing it -- I figure if I can get my hands on a sleeping bag and a good tent, I can set up camp in the woods instead of in peopleā€™s abandoned living rooms.
The notebook is freaking me out. Thatā€™s why Iā€™m posting it here. Iā€™ve read and re-read it a dozen times or so, and itā€™s honestly starting to scare me.
Iā€™ve transcribed the notebook here. I censored certain parts of it -- I donā€™t want anyone coming after me or anything. I donā€™t think the contents of this notebook are particularly dangerous, but I donā€™t want to take any chances. The guyā€™s handwriting deteriorates towards the end and is downright atrocious in places, but I think Iā€™ve copied it correctly for the most part. Iā€™ve been having some trouble with my hands cramping lately -- just a side-effect of living on the road. I was able to soak them in warm water a few nights ago, and that seemed to help. Hell, maybe Iā€™m getting arthritis or something.
Shoot, Iā€™ve been rambling. Like I said, I found the notebook somewhere in Washington. I canā€™t remember the name of the town where I was staying or anything like that. I just remember that every house looked like it had been abandoned, and there was no sign of anyone. It really freaked me out. I didnā€™t stay for more than a night, and even that felt like it was too long.
[DATE REDACTED]
5:15 - 6:03 a.m. -- So far, four large vehicles have passed. Cannot tell what they are. Think they are vans or trucks. Cannot make out license plates. They keep their lights off. Cannot tell who is driving or how many people are inside each vehicle.
7:26 a.m. -- Vans. Theyā€™re definitely vans. Have only seen one since the sun came up. Itā€™s a white van with a red and blue logo on the side. Logo is of a large satellite dish. The words SATELLITE REPAIR COMPANY are printed below it in black letters. Cannot find logo anywhere on internet.
11:56 a.m. -- SATELLITE REPAIR COMPANY van is parked across the street. Has been there for over an hour. No one has gotten in or out of the van.
12:45 p.m. -- Developed a headache at approximately 12:10 p.m. Took [MEDICATION REDACTED] at 12:12 p.m. Headache has not improved, has only gotten worse. Cannot take more pills. Need to lie down. Van has not moved. No one has gotten in or out of van.
3:28 p.m. -- Woke up approximately 15 minutes ago. Headache gone. Van gone.
6:02 p.m. -- TV is not working properly. Static keeps cutting through Channel [REDACTED]. Ate dinner.
[DATE REDACTED]
3:33 a.m. -- Woke up approximately 30 minutes ago with violent stomach cramps. Attempted to take [MEDICATION REDACTED], was unable to keep it down. Vomited.
4:58 a.m. -- Abdominal cramping has subsided. Vomiting has stopped. Am unable to fall back asleep. Van is again parked across the street. Am unable to read license plate or see vanā€™s occupants.
5:30 a.m. -- Am experiencing more abdominal cramping. Have consumed Saltines and ginger ale. So far, have been able to keep it down. Van is still parked across the street. Same van as yesterday.
11:46 a.m. -- Have watched van all morning. Van has not moved. No one has gotten in or out of van. Can see license plate number [REDACTED]. Have done Google search on SATELLITE REPAIR COMPANY and [REDACTED LICENSE PLATE NUMBER]. No results.
1:59 p.m. -- Man has gotten out of rear passengerā€™s side door of van. Am unable to see into van. Man is approximately 5ā€™10ā€, 175 lbs, 30-40 years old. Caucasian. Dark brown hair. Blue eyes. Wearing dark gray coveralls and workboots. Appears to be wearing a mask. The lower half of his face is obscured. His mouth and nose are covered. There appears to be a tube connecting the mask on his face to a backpack-like apparatus. Most likely a respirator of some sort. Why would he be wearing a respirator? Man paced back and forth briefly before opening rear passengerā€™s side door and climbing back into van.
2:15 p.m. -- Am developing headache. Have taken [MEDICATION REDACTED].
2:46 p.m. -- [MEDICATION REDACTED] is not working. Headache growing worse.
3:15 p.m. -- head hurts so much. Canā€™t stay near window anymore. Need to lie down.
7:19 p.m. -- Woke up on floor next to bed. Cannot remember how I got here. I couldā€™ve sworn I closed the curtains and lay down in my bed.
7:32 p.m. -- TV isnā€™t working.
8:57 p.m. -- Decided to ask [NEIGHBORā€™S NAME REDACTED] about the van. Assumed that [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] has been having problems with his TV. Went to [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] and asked about TV problems. [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] has not been having trouble with TV and has not called any repair service. However, [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] has noticed the van. [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] saw the vanā€™s driver and described an ā€œaverage-looking Hispanic or Latino man.ā€ [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] could not recall height, weight, or age. Described the man as having dark brown or black hair and brown eyes. Stated that man was wearing gray coveralls and that he appeared to be wearing a respirator. Man briefly exited the driverā€™s side door of the vehicle. Damn, I wish [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] was more observant.
[DATE REDACTED]
3:57 a.m. -- I donā€™t remember going to bed last night. I donā€™t remember anything that happened after speaking with [NEIGHBOR REDACTED]. I woke up on my couch. The TV was on, displaying bluish-white static. Am experiencing mild abdominal cramping and minor pain in hands and fingers.
4:36 a.m. -- I donā€™t remember writing that last journal entry. I woke up in my bed feeling perfectly fine. I looked out the window. There are no vans or suspicious persons about.
5:09 a.m. -- Woke up to the sound of someone moving around in my backyard. I checked out the window and saw a man digging through my garbage cans. I armed myself and went outside to check. When I got out there, the man was gone. The garbage cans were disturbed, one was overturned. I cannot tell if anything important is missing. Thank God I shred all my junk mail.
7:48 a.m. -- Am experiencing severe abdominal cramping. Have vomited twice. Have attempted to take [MEDICATION REDACTED], am unable to keep it down. Am considering calling a doctor.
10:58 a.m. -- Woke up in the bathtub. Was covered in vomit. Showered and cleaned the tub, felt perfectly fine. Ate saltines, ginger ale, and hard-boiled eggs.
12:09 p.m. -- The van is back. Armed myself and went to investigate. All windows are tinted, even the windshield. Was unable to see inside. Knocked on windows and tried to open door. No luck. Was unable to gain access to the van or determine who/what is inside of it.
2:32 p.m. -- Van still parked outside.
3:00 p.m. -- Am experiencing pain in hands. Am having trouble moving fingers and holding small objects. [UNINTELLIGIBLE]
5:47 p.m. -- Fell asleep in chair by window. Had nightmare about my fingers fusing together, turning my hands into lobster claws. Had trouble getting out of chair. It felt like the chair was stuck to the backs of my legs. Finally managed to get out of chair. Went to kitchen, consumed saltines, ginger ale, and hard-boiled eggs. Unable to stomach anything else.
5:57 p.m. -- Developing headache. Took [MEDICATION REDACTED].
6:14 p.m. -- Headache getting worse. Seeing spots on edges of vision. Feeling dizzy and nauseous. Unable to stand up. [UNINTELLIGIBLE] Experiencing abdominal cramping.
9:46 p.m. -- Woke up in bed. Left leg is swollen. There is no pain, but the leg is bruised and swollen to twice its normal size. Am unable to move it. Hands feel numb. Am having trouble moving fingers.
10:10 p.m. -- Left leg still swollen and bruised. Am unable to move it. Managed to drag self to window. Van no longer parked outside. Saw [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] taking his garbage out. Sight of [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] filled me with anger. Iā€™ve always liked [NEIGHBOR REDACTED]. Heā€™s a good man, very friendly and always helpful. I have no reason to hate him. I know I have no reason to hate him. Seeing him filled me with rage. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to wrap my hands around his throat and choke the life out of him. If my left leg hadnā€™t been so swollen and immobile, I think I wouldā€™ve run outside and killed him where he stood. God help me, I wanted to hurt him.
[DATE REDACTED]
1:17 a.m. -- Woke up with pain in left leg. Left leg still swollen and bruised. My foot is now facing the opposite direction. I am unable to move it. Have tried calling 911. Phones are not working. Am unable to put any weight on left leg. Right leg twitches and jitters, but refuses to cooperate or do what I tell it. Re-read yesterdayā€™s entries. I have no memory of them. Am scared.
4:58 a.m. -- head hurts so bad. Seeing spots and stars in peripheral vision. Am afraid to go to sleep. Had nightmare about hands becoming lobster claws again, but this time, I killed [NEIGHBOR REDACTED]. In the dream, my legs were large fleshy tentacles and I slithered across the street. [UNINTELLIGIBLE] smashed lobster claw hands against [NEIGHBOR REDACTED]ā€™s face. Ripped his eyes out and ate them. Woke up covered with sweat. Need help. Canā€™t move legs.
9:06 a.m. -- Heard [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] knocking on my door at approximately 7:00 a.m. Sound filled me with rage. I started screaming at [NEIGHBOR REDACTED], threatening to kill him. Was able to press my hand over my mouth to stifle the noise. I donā€™t think [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] heard, as he went away and has not come back. After [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] left, I discovered that I had shoved my entire hand into my mouth, up to the wrist. My fingertips were scraping against my tonsils, but this did not activate my gag reflex at all. When I finally pulled my hand out of my mouth, it was covered in blackish-brown sludge.
need to call police need doctor so much pain oh dear god so much pain go away [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] go away because i want to kill you want you dead want to rip your eyes out and eat them want to tear your tongue out want to bite your fingers off want to kill you want you dead dead dead want blood everywhere want it need it [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] run run run run run [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] run run run [UNINTELLIGIBLE] mother of god someone please help me pain everywhere legs canā€™t feel legs legs wonā€™t cooperate wonā€™t move hands lobster claws nowhere is safe nothing is safe oh god mother of god god almighty cramping so bad want to vomit canā€™t vomit teeth falling out my god my teeth are falling out theyā€™re here now theyā€™re pounding on the door itā€™s not [NEIGHBOR REDACTED] itā€™s the van men the van men are here something in the air there is something in the air they know theyā€™ve done something to the air [UNINTELLIGIBLE] donā€™t let them in canā€™t let them in door wonā€™t hold them forever [UNINTELLIGIBLE] what have they done oh dear god what have they done to me
The notebook ends here. Iā€™m having trouble remembering the house I took it from. Like I said, I didnā€™t read it until Iā€™d hitchhiked at least two to three hours away. I wasnā€™t in the house for long, just a night. This whole thing is probably someoneā€™s creative writing exercise, right? I mean, it canā€™t be serious. I feel fine. I mean, I had a minor headache this morning, but it wasnā€™t anything serious. It wasnā€™t a migraine like the ones described in this notebook. I havenā€™t been sleeping well or eating particularly healthily. Thatā€™s probably it. I canā€™t remember the last time I had a piece of fresh fruit or a vegetable. Thatā€™s probably it. Iā€™m sure that once I get some decent food in me and a good nightā€™s sleep in a warm dry bed, Iā€™ll feel better. This notebookā€™s probably a hoax. Some poor dope knew that heā€™d be evicted, so he left a prank behind for potential squatters.
I wish this headache would go away, though.
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