#i've got like one (1) person irl i can talk to about this stuff

[bobafetts-princess]

Stranger and the Bear Pt2

Summary: Logan has literally tossed your ex out of the bar and taken you upstairs to your apartment. Sexy stuff follows 👀👀

Pairings: Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: Smut. Lots of it. Oral (both receiving). PiV. Condoms don’t exist on this blog (use them irl, pls). Hair pulling, Logan talks dirty. God I want him to blow my back out.

A/N: If you’ve seen this on ao3, I’m the same person! I have Logan brain rot 😩

Pt. 1 can be found here!

“Thank you, Logan. I really mean that.” You said, trying to interject as much appreciation into your voice as possible.

“There’s nothing you need to thank me for,” Logan said, glancing over at you. You finished your first beer, getting up off the couch again to get another. You heard the couch shift and heard Logan ask where the trash can was but when you turned to tell him, he was right there. Logan was close enough that you were almost chest to chest, the only time you’ve ever been thankful for a small kitchen. He’s tall, definitely taller than you, and when you glance up at him you can see the desire in his features. You aren’t sure which one of you makes the first move, you just know that one second he’s in front of you and the next second his lips are on yours. Their softness surprises you, but the way he grabs at your body is anything but soft.

“God, please tell me you want this,” he groans, his lips sucking at a soft spot on your neck. “I’ve wanted this for weeks,” he says, large hand cupping your ass.

“I want this. I’ve thought about this so many times over the past couple months.” You admit, gasping at the feel of his mouth on your skin. And you had, countless nights you’d envisioned what he’d be like in your bed. Would he be rough? You thought so. Would he be vocal? Definitely, you felt like. Was he dominant? Did he like to pull hair? You definitely felt like your questions were going to be answered soon and you couldn’t wait.

“Fuck, Bear. I’ve thought about this so many times. Do you understand how much I've wanted to bend you over the bar top?” He told you, running his hands up and down your sides, kissing you in between his words.

“Me too.” You admitted, hot at the fact that he thought about you in that matter.

“You’re gonna look so fuckin’ good stuffed with my cock.” He said and his words made something hot shoot through your body as his hands worked their way into your hair, pulling your body against his. Vocal was definitely a yes. His lips seal over yours and you lean into him, hands on his strong shoulders.

“Fuck Bear,” He grunts, breaking the kiss to work his way down your neck. Suddenly, his hands grasp under your ass, lifting you and settling your core against his hardening length. You gasp, arching, and his lips find a sweet spot on your collarbone, making you groan. He walks through your apartment, but his legs were so long and your apartment was so small that it only took him four large strides to make it from the refrigerator to the bed where he laid you down. Your legs were still hooked around his hips, but he stood as straight as he could and looked down at you. His hand cupped your cheek and he slid it around to grasp your neck. "I'm gonna fuck you so good tonight." He promises and you shiver, grinding down on his cock through your combined sets of jeans.

His hands reach behind his back and unlock your legs from his hips, placing your feet on the floor. You whimpered at the loss of contact but Logan chided you.

“I gotta get these off, you impatient brat.” He said, his tone affectionate. He undoes the button on your jeans with a flick of his wrist. “And this,” He says, shifting the material of your top up. “As much as I love it, it’s gotta come off for all the things I’ve got planned for you.” His promises make you pant with need and excitement. His strong hands pull your jeans down your legs, admiring the little pink panties you had on. His fingers tug at the little bow on the front before his attention switches and he’s taking your top and bra off.

“God,” he says, cupping your breasts. “They’re as perfect as I thought they would be,” you flush and gasp when his rough fingers find your nipples and pinch. He takes his time worshipping your body, finding all the spots that made you arch, groan and let out breathy moans tainted with his name. His mouth works across your body, sucking on some spots and nibbling on others. His hands cup your breasts, his teeth pulling at your nipples and you found yourself already heading towards the edge. His hands finally work their way into your panties, covering the tips of his fingers with your slick before moving up to circle your clit. You gasp his name and he pulls back from your breast to look at you. “Can I take these off?” You nod and he strips you of them as he drops to his knees.

“What a pretty pussy,” he whispers, almost to himself as he presses two fingers inside you and It feels so good that you can’t even get a full sentence out. You need more but your words are stuck in your throat.

“Please,” you choke out, making Logan’s ears prick.

“Ask me again.” He demands.

“Please. Please more,” you tell him, voice stronger. His other hand comes down to touch your clit and you cry out his name.

“You like that, baby?”

“Fuck. Yes Logan.” You tell him, rocking your hips down on his fingers at a steady pace. He lets you take what you need, keeping the pressure steady. Fuck, you’re so close to the edge but you need something more. You don’t even have the chance to ask for more because Logan senses it. He shifts so one hand is inside you, one hand is pulling at your nipple, and then he leans down to give your pretty, neglected clit some attention.

“You’re going to taste so good,” he says before he leans down to get a taste. He groans before increasing his pace, pushing you closer and closer to the edge until you can’t hold off any longer. “Cum for me,” he tells you, “please,” and it’s his need to see you get off that finally pushes you over the edge. He works you through it, talking to you the entire time but everything sounds like you’re underwater so you couldn’t recall what he said even if you tried.

“Fuck.” He says once your breathing returns to normal, “you look so pretty when you come.” He kisses his way up your body before reaching your lips, this kiss full of passion and need. His clothes are still on and you make it a personal mission to get them off. You push the jacket down his shoulders, refusing to break the kiss. You toss it in a corner of the room before lowering your hands to work his belt buckle and jeans.

You get the belt off and the button popped, using your toes to get his jeans pushed down his well muscled thighs. He steps out of them, kiss becoming more rough and needy as he does. You slide your body off the bed, breaking the kiss, but when your hands go to pull off his underwear, you’re surprised to find he isn’t wearing any. He smirks at you then his pulls his white tank off, leaving him completely naked. You take a moment to enjoy the view, his hairy and well muscled body standing before you. You move and take Logan’s cock in your hand. He hisses through his teeth at your touch, his muscles rippling with restraint. He was thick. Thick thick. Not uncomfortably long, but definitely big enough to stuff you full. You take his head into your mouth, swallowing him down. His hands dig into your hair, the slight tug sending jolts down to your pussy.

“Ah. Fuck.” He grunts as you wrap your hands around him, swallowing his thickness inch by inch. “Fuck. That mouth is as good as I imagined.” He tells you, spurring you on. The hands surrounding him worked what you couldn’t fit in your mouth, eliciting more moans from him. You did your best to deep-throat him, going until you gagged. You started a good pace, taking as much of him in as you could, his hands in your hair encouraging you along. The longer you sucked, the rougher he got, pushing and pulling for you instead of with you. You loved it though, it turned you on. You let go, allowing Logan to work your mouth up and down his cock, hands stroking what you couldn’t fit. His grunts and growls became louder and louder as he raced towards his end but before you knew it, he was pulling you off. He grabs you by the elbow, roughly but carefully, and tosses you face down on the bed.

“As fuckin’ amazing as that mouth is, I wanna come inside this.” He said, two finger stroking down your pussy before plunging inside. He thrust into you roughly and you meet him stroke for stroke until he pulls out. You whined, close, but the head of his cock lined up with your entrance instead.


"Don't worry princess, you'll be full in jus' a second." He begins pushing inside, the stretch deliciously painful, Logan taking it slow so he doesn’t hurt you. He feeds you inch by inch until he bottoms out with a feral grunt.

“Fuck. Bear. This pussy will be the death of me.” He tells you, hand finding your hair and pulling you backward, asking if you were okay. When you tell him that you’re fine, you like it, he pulls a little harder. Your back arches, and he starts a rough pace, the angle allowing him deep with each thrust. You’re so keyed up already that it doesn’t take you long to reach the edge again. You reach between your legs to circle your clit, clamping down on Logan’s cock as the pleasure shoots through your body. “Fuck,” he grunts, “that’s right baby girl, touch your pretty pussy for me. I want to know what it feels like when you come all over my cock.” His words send you spiraling and you come again, crying out Logan’s name as you do.

When you come down, he let go of your hair and lets you fall naturally onto the bed, his hands digging into your hips as he holds you in place. He’s giving it to you, snarling his pleasure as he thrusts in and out of your ‘sweet pussy’ (his words).

Eventually he pulls out, flipping you over onto your back and sliding back in. One hand finds your breasts, pinching and pulling your nipples while the other finds the back of your neck, holding you in place so that he can kiss you as he fucks you. Your hands found his wrist instinctually, but you weren’t worried, you had a feeling that your stranger, your Logan, would never hurt you. His breathing is heavy in your ear as he sucks an earlobe into his mouth, biting down on the sensitive skin. It makes you gasp and tug at the hairs on the back of his neck, where your own hand was. His hips sputtered, his consistent pace breaking and you knew he was close. You fluttered your walls around him, and the hand that was around your neck moves to stroke your clit instead. You come undone for a third time, screaming your pleasure as you squeeze around him.

“Can I come inside you? Do you want me to pull out?” He asks and you think you’ll die if you don’t feel him coming inside you. So you tell him to come inside you and he groans, dropping his head to the curve of your shoulder.

He buries himself to the hilt and lets out an animalistic snarl as he reaches his end. His upper body collapses onto yours, his heavy build a nice pressure to ground you. He lays there for a moment, slowing his breathing until it was normal. He wraps both arms around your lower back, lifting the both of you as he locks his lips with yours. He starts the short walk to the bathroom and you wish it was longer because the man could KISS. He fumbles around the sink, grabbing the washcloth on the edge and running it under warm water, kiss never breaking and Logan never setting you down. He walks out of the bathroom, but turns, pressing your back up against the wall. He was still hard and you were still wet, so he slipped in easily and thrust lazily into you, never breaking the kiss.

“Fuck. This pussy is so good.” He says, thrusts becoming stronger and deeper as he finally broke the kiss. “I’m sensitive. I won’t last long.” He admits, teeth catching the shell of your ear as another orgasm built inside you.

“Me too.” Was all you could manage. His fingers plucked at your nipples and his teeth nibbled around where your shoulders and neck met. His thumb circles your clit, his thrusts hard and rough now, his hips moving at a relentless pace. Your orgasm hits with a vengeance and you clench hard against him, triggering his own orgasm. He roars, driving himself upwards and biting down on your shoulder, harder than any bite before this but god, it feels so good. Sated, he walks back to your bed, but he’s more exhausted than he’s letting on because once he lays you down gently, he collapses next to you.

“You okay?” He asks and your hand cups his cheek as he rolls to face you.

“I’m great,” you smile. “How about you?”

“Never been better,” and you get the feeling he’s being completely honest. After a few moments he takes the washcloth and wipes you clean, then himself and tosses it into the hamper.

He settles back in next to you, the both of you naked but Logan is warm and his natural heat wraps around you as he does. It doesn’t take long for the exhaustion to hit you and once Logan covers you up with the blankets, you’re quick to fall asleep. Logan, for the first time in years, sleeps soundly next to another human being.

[olderthannetfic]

I do think the disclaimers from authors about NOT ENDORSING!!!! certain behaviors in fics is pretty funny, but I’ll admit I do it too. Oddly I only put warnings for abuse of the self, not the abuse of others. I write a fair bit of fic that “romanticizes” (or seems like it does) suicide/self harm/eating disorders to the point where it can almost be a tutorial of how to do it if I’m graphic enough. So in those I normally just add dead dove tags and put a disclaimer about how the trigger warning is no joke and you shouldn’t do the things that the characters do in the fic. It’s not like a Lifetime Movie end credits where the authors note is filled with hotlines and stuff, just a quick little note that, hey, yeah, if you’re considering this, don’t do it.

Oddly, I don’t think that behavior comes from fandom itself but rather from a completely different corner of the internet — when I struggled with the same stuff that I write about, it was pretty common for everyone’s bio to say that they “don’t promote” or they’re “not pro” and I guess old habits die hard. (Whether or not certain types of depression/SH/ana blogs etc really DONT promote or those words are just a please-don’t-ban-me card is a completely different discussion.)

It’s pretty ironic actually because when I’m on the other side of things (as the reader), reading about it is really cathartic in fic, but triggering (not in a fun way) in “real” books. Like there’s several books I had to DNF or shelf because it got to be too much, but oddly enough fic actually helps me a lot.

WOW that was all way heavier than I intended to get when I first started typing this ask! But yeah, that’s my own personal relationship to “I do not endorse” and I didn’t realize how odd it actually is until I started reading some of these other asks! I don’t think any type of “this is bad, actually” authors note is ever necessary honestly, but I also don’t think they’re that big of a deal — if a note from the writer about how they’re ~totally against the “bad” thing they’re writing about~ really takes you out of the fic that much, I don’t understand that either…it’d be one thing if they rambled on and on but even then I don’t think it’s that big of a deal 🤣 Annoying maybe but no one is required to read the AN.

My general threshold is “would a movie/podcast/real™️ book have a similar Viewer Discretion Adviced notice? If so, your A/N is likely fine and not virtual signal-ly or OTT at all.”

--

Heh. I think you're assuming a very different type of PSA from what other people are.

From what I've read, self-harm, suicide, and disordered eating are some of the topics that are a bit Monkey See, Monkey Do. Even support group discussions may increase the desire to cut, for example. It's still not 1:1, and we should be able to make art about serious topics, but a PSA doesn't feel totally absurd here. There are plenty of scientific studies showing measurable increases in people hurting themselves IRL after consuming certain material. Even if you did include a hotline, most people's objection is like "That number isn't valid for where I live", not "No one should ever do this".

I think if you polled people, you'd find that many of the PSA-haters are actually totally fine with "Hey, this fic contains serious depictions of mental illness. Make sure you're up for that today." and similar warnings.

But what people are actually talking about in 99% of "PSAs suck" discussions is rape fantasies.

Some clown writes a fic that is blatant fap material for people who like bodice ripper ravishment, and then they plaster it with "Rape Fantasies Bad" commentary that shows that they're judging themselves and their readers in a puritanical way that's a mega-buzzkill, completely out of keeping with the tone of the fic, and completely out of keeping with the actual scientific evidence.

Rape fantasies are commonplace and not a big deal, and to the extent that any depictions are demonstrably harmful, it's things like mainstream Hollywood movies reinforcing very standard cultural narratives, not somebody's sex pollen fic that's probably full of "It's so wrong, so why is it so hot???" anyway.

[enbymaths]

Life update/vent/stress in academia

I'd like to preface this with the following two points:

1. this is going to be some kind of explanation for my hiatus and it's going to be pretty heavy so please watch out for TW drvg use/anxi3ty/depr3ssion

2. if anyone who knows me IRL sees this, I implore you not to approach about any of this stuff, I don't want to make all of this some soppy story about poor little me

Since the beginning of 2024. I've been sick on and off every couple of weeks, my nose'd be runny for like a week or so and then I'd be fine for a couple of days and that cycle would repeat itself every couple of weeks until I got really bad stomachaches that lasted for 8 weeks until I got some antibiotics.

Those 8 weeks were a complete hell for me. One does sacrifice a lot of their life in order to succeed in academia, but health? That's scary.

So I decided to try and not to stress myself out about my upcoming exams, keep in mind the fact that I'm in my last year of undergrad. After those 8 weeks have passed along with additional 2 weeks full of doctor exams, I went back to studying for the upcoming exam season which was now in a couple of weeks.

My college isn't the most organized one, and that exam season was stretched out over the course of two months and now I had only 4 weeks to prepare myself for the upcoming exam season and I was stressing out really badly. My health has been on a decline for about two years, and all the doctors have been saying that it is due to stress, not trying to do anything about it actually and they'd prescribe me some b3nzodiazepines and beta blockers.

The thing that they didn't take into account is the fact that I was prescribed b3nzos for my insomnia along with melatonin for the past 4 years. I'd take them pretty much every night because I just wasn't able to sleep.

And my exam season came along, and I failed pretty much all of my exams, miserably. I was hoping that I'd be able to finish my degree in time despite my declining health, and no, I wasn't able to pull off such thing. Life happens.

After that and a cardiac episode that I had on my birthday, I was sent to a psychiatrist for evaluation because of my blood pressure going sky high and random muscle twitching. I thought I did pretty fine, but the psychiatrist told me that I should 'worry less', 'go out more' etc. and sent me on my way home merrily with a prescription for 5 drugs, two of which were add1ctive.

Now that one month has passed, I can say that I haven't taken any of those meds, primarily because I believed that I can beat this on my own terms and I was scared of taking more add1ctive meds-at the end of the day, I was taking b3nzos for the

last four years

for my insomnia.

And I was kinda successful, up until today. Last couple of days I tried to go to sleep without taking my nightly b3nzo and I was able to pull it off!

For 3 days.

And I'd sleep!

Poorly.

And finally, I had a mental breakdown where I realized that I was really depressed, I had all kinds of thoughts flying through ny head and I couldn't calm myself down. And what did I do? Well yes, I popped a x4nny. And I became a completely different person. No more dark thoughts, no more sewer slide ideations, life had meaning again and then it hit me-unbeknownst to me, I have developed a b3nzo add1ction.

Then I tried to google a couple of articles about long-term b3nzo abvse and I came across this one article on

where they talked about people feeling a sudden decline in their health after years of taking b3nzos and it hit me.

I wasn't depressed.

I went through withdrawal symptoms. I am addicted.

So the next step? I'm going to talk about my b3nzos problem with my psychiatrist this monday and take the right course of action, maybe ask for a second opinion, to ask them to reconsider my diagnosis and delegate me to another clinic if necessary. My problem may be very much real, and I have caused it.

All of the symptoms and diagnoses that were listed on the site above as misdiagnoses for long-term b3nzo abvse were all once considered as diagnoses for me in this past year. Immensely weakened immune system can be explained by prolonged b3nzo abvse. And the scariest thing about all of this?

I wasn't aware that I couldn't make it without my body aching for meds.

All of this stress, all the worries about my grades, academia and my future and I wasn't even aware that I was add1cted to my meds. Just because I didn't take care of my well-being and didn't notice that I wasn't able to stop taking my meds.

The point is that health comes first and academia will always be second. Do not sacrifice yourself for academia, and if you're going through similar things right now, I hope that you know that we're making it out of this b

[winterchimez]

your moots as flowers? :3

omg hi anon!! this is such a fun ask/game & i'll try my best as i look through the list of flowers on google asdkjadnk

@sungbeam - sunflower (adoration & loyalty) im sure everyone thinks the same way abt you but you're literally a CELEBRITY, the best 妹妹 ever on this earth and where are my photographers at we planning a red carpet for you rn 😤 (btw it just so happens that sunflowers = changmin so 😙)

@from-izzy - forget-me-not (true love & memories) if the meaning doesn't speak for itself enough then idk what will. forever my soulmate till the end 💜 (also now its my turn to get mad at you for *coughs* 😄)

@justalildumpling - roses (love, passion, beauty) if you ain't the hottest and prettiest writer out there then idk who is my bestest dongsaeng ilysm 🫶🏻

@ethereal-engene - gerbera daisy (cheerful & innocence) you're literally a ray of sunshine you make me laugh a lot (esp with the challenge that you have been taunting me for months now 🌚

@daisyvisions - daffodil (new beginnings & rebirth) with what you have told us in our gc abt your irl stuff i think this suits you best!! also cs you're our unnie & i somewhat think yellow suits you a lot 💛

@aimeecarreros - chrysanthemum (friendship, joy, honesty) literally one of the funniest people ive ever met, never change. waiting for the day we meet in person to scream at the top of our lungs out AMEN 😘

@snowflakewhispers - freesia (friendship, trust) you know too much about me & my sister from my neighbouring country. here's to more bickering & saving each other asses whenever & always 😙🩷

@drunkdrazed - aster (patience & elegance) you're literally the sweetest person i know & you're always treating everyone around you with so much love & patience i don't deserve you 🥹🫶🏻💗

@h0mebody-heaven orchid (beauty & strength) literally one of the toughest ppl i know!! im so so glad we hit off right away & heres to us praying that we take over as wayv managers in the future AMEN 😤

@kyaroscuro - lavender (calm, serenity, devotion) another sweetest person ever like where are yall coming from 🥹 glad we hit off almost right away (i think it was bcs of my hyunjae series if im not wrong jasnkand) here's to more convos & stories abt both of our new adventures irl!! 💪

@stealanity - hibiscus (delicate beauty) matty unnie isn't just beautiful on the outside but on the inside too!! literally such a reliable older sister that i've met here and i know that i can always count on you no matter what. i miss you a lot & i always wish you all the best in everything you do unnie 🥺🫶🏻 @quaissants pansy (love & affection) my OG gremlin i love you loads (even though you torture me with daddy sangyeon pics every single time we try to start a conversation but know that i always got your back no matter what ❤️

@sanaxo-o crocus (cheerfulness) you're 1/2 of my gremlin and you're literally so unhinged (like sometimes i honestly dk what goes on in that head of yours kasdnaksjdk) but i think it's only bcs we're this close that we could literally talk abt anything (even if sometimes they made absolutely no sense but it's always fun talking to you, and i miss you a lot my sabrina wifey 🧡)

@cloverdaisies gladiolus (strength of character) the OG toughest person i know. forever clo my love, and i promise you that our frienship is def gonna last for decades, and i will get my ass to EU again one day so JUST YOU WAIT 💚

@kimsohn sorrel (love, healing, protection) my maya 🫶🏻 i would literally drop everything for you and protect you at all cost 😤 i treasure you sm and know that im always here for you no matter what 🩵

@gluion camellia / tsubaki (strength & bravery) honestly i feel like moni can do literally ANYTHING like they're so frickin talented in everything they do and i admire them loads 🥹❤️

@mosviqu goldenrod (encouragement & growth) bar is literally the sweetest like you're always keeping so many of us in check 🥹 coming to ask how we have been doing, and just the best at giving ppl words of encouragement which lowkey makes me forget that you're younger than me sometimes kankajsn

@juyeonszn zinnia (thoughts of friends) it's been a while since we last catched up, but im sure you're out there busy doing everything you can to survive!! im always rooting for you and i wish you nothing but the best in everything you do!! miss you loads my bubba 🤍

@itsbeeble ivy (affection, friendship, fidelity) my pookie 🥰 we're always hyping each other up, and you have no idea how honoured i am to be your moot like i was one of your biggest fans / reader before (and i still am!!!) i love you so bad 😔💚

@strayed-quokka salvia (wisdom) my other daddy sangyeon half (even though you refuse to share 90% of the time 😒) literally if talent was a person it's definitely lennon. again, someone that i really look up to and so glad we became mutuals 💛

[greenerteacups]

Thoughts on sydcarmy? (figured i’d ask since you mentioned the bear in one of your asks.)

[normal person voice] THOUGHTS ON SYDCARMY? YEAH I GOT A FEW

To start from the beginning, I've been watching the Bear IRL as it airs, so I've been through all the hiatuses between seasons. And in season 1, I was the conductor of this ship. I was on the train basically from the minute they have that first bit of cooking synchrony in like episode 2 and my obsession with the coworkers-to-lovers trope perked its nose up, but I was promoted to captain when I saw the scene at the end where he grounds himself through a panic attack by thinking about her. Which — hey, by the way, sidebar? Directed to the writers of The Bear? I'm totally on board with the 'let's have more platonic bonds between men and women' stuff, I get why you like that story and want to write it, and seriously, platonic sydcarm, that's cool. That's awesome. But also: visualizing someone's face to anchor you through a panic attack — while in real life not at all inconsistent with platonic friendship — is an extremely loaded scene to drop in the middle of a narrative where the two characters in question have demonstrable chemistry and an intense but ill-defined bond, and your audience, which has been trained to close-read male-female relationships for signs of romantic interest, is going to read that scene as romantically intimate, if not sexual in nature. And they're not, like, ship-obsessed or whatever for thinking that. The visual language of your product does not exist outside of the cultural lexicon where it is being presented, regardless of your intentions. Anyway. [Sidebar over.]

Season 2, and especially the introduction of Claire, seemed to me like a Doylist way to address the SydCarmy train. The upshot to this is they do use this to talk about Sydney and Carmy being Weirdly Intimate Business Partners, and you get a lot of references to Sydney's jealousy, her disgruntlement with Claire, and Carmy's struggle to fuse the two worlds. The downside is that Sydney and Carmy no longer feel like the epic power chord at the center of the show, because Carmy's been shifted into this internal battle between Claire (who in many ways represents being Out of the industry) and Sydney (who, whatever else you can say about her, is very much In). And unfortunately for Claire, Sydney is just way better written. Like, I really did try to be fair to Claire, but it's not even close — and man, I didn't even feel like the writers were trying. Claire and Carmy's crush on Claire are introduced to the audience at the same time, and from there, she has zero scenes without Carm being either present or the subject of conversation. And like, that's so weird, on a show where almost everyone is rich and well-developed, and even the extended family in Fishes get little nods to their internal life. And I — I'm rambling. Point being, I think Season 2 took the wind out of SydCarmy's sails by making their dynamic antagonistic and strained by Carmy's obvious romantic interest in someone else, so I went into S3 with guarded optimism.

And then, like... okay. I'm a Sydney fan before I'm a SydCarmy fan, right? That man's cute and all, but she's the protagonist of this show for me. And at this point, I really do think the best thing for Syd is to get out of Carmy's orbit and go do her own thing. I don't believe in people being "too traumatized" for relationships to work, so I think a lot of the people blowing off Carmy as being "not ready" for love this season are full of hot air — but I do believe that Carmy's trauma is specifically impairing his ability to empathize with and care for Sydney, a fellow restauranteur and subordinate chef/protege, in a way that would make any iteration of their relationship satisfying to me. Getting him to that point would require the writers to dedicate a lot of storytelling and character development in a creative direction that they don't seem to be interested in. They are clearly interested in other things — worthy things! Cool things! Things that can make for a good plot! — but at this point, I was only interested in a version of SydCarmy that existed for about five minutes in the first 1/3 of the show, and it's time for me to face the music. I'm really excited to see where they take Sydney, though. I still trust the writers to do her justice, because they clearly know what a rare thing they have in her.

[pooklet]

Get to know you: Sims Style

I was tagged by @pockethamster and @furbyq-sims so here we goooo.

What’s your favorite Sims death?

In general: the satellite, cuz of the piano replacement that I have. It is also one of the most efficient ways to cull townies.

Specific deaths that have happened to my sims: Tiara dying in a toddler potty. No death in my game has ever/will ever be funnier.

Alpha CC Semi-realism or Maxis Match?

Semi-realism. Maybe it's cuz I started playing when that was the common style, but maxis match just looks very ... flat to me? Very papery. I've seen it done in a really fun, cartoon-y style by some creators, but that seems to be the minority and most of it seems to hew very neutral/natural toned and I am not about that lol. Even IRL, I like to surround myself with bright, colorful stuff.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Like, keep them thin? lmao no. I let their personality determine whether they exercise, but that has nothing to do with them being fat, as far as I'm concerned. I use a lot of fat bodyshapes because I'm fat myself and I like to have a lot of variety in my game. I don't have any system for deciding whether I use the maxis default body or a custom shape, I just go with what looks right to me.

Do you move objects?

Are there people who don't?

Favorite Mod?

Hm, either ACR v2 or Walk Through Blocks. I like my sims to be able to make as many autonomous decisions as possible, and navigate the spaces that I cram full of clutter.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

In the Sims 1 the first expansion I got was Hot Date. I played TS2 from release, so my first expansion was University.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

Alive.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

I mean, it has to be Mawreen, right? If only for the chaos that she's sown.

Have you made a simself?

Yeah a few throughout the years, and I haven't played them in ages. Mostly I just use them for silly little pics with @skulldilocks's selfsim.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

One of the custom ones, I guess! I don't remember, I have all the EA hairs hidden lol.

Favorite EA hair?

I don't have one, really. Maybe some of the natural black hairstyles converted from TS4 but I couldn't name specific meshes.

Favorite life stage?

Adult! I made a custom aging mod so I can go through the other stages relatively quickly. The way my game is set up, they unlock all their traits and wants once they're an adult, and I like to see who they are as a fully realized person, so that's the most fun for me.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

Gameplay. I have a lot of fun making houses based on real floorplans that I find, but it's mostly just stage dressing for the little freaks that inhabit them.

Are you a CC creator?

Yeh.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

I mean, @skulldilocks obvs. People don't approach me much so there's only a few ppl that I talk to regularly like @furbyq-sims and @lilithpleasant. I am not really the "squad" type.

Do you have any sims merch?

This is a real thing?

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Nope! I would never stream gameplay, the way I play isn't interesting. Lots of pausing and carefully adjusting angles to take pictures, getting distracted by other stuff, random crashes, etc. And editing that footage into something watachable would take ages. My play style lends itself better to picture entries, so I use Dreamwidth.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

More colors, more aliens, more [[JAM FACTORY]] lore.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

@skulldilocks no question! I love watching her create anything for any game or craft. She's so talented. It doesn't matter if she's making sims cc or custom houses for Skyrim or doll clothes or anything else, she's my biggest inspiration.

How long have you had Simblr?

2010, babeyyyy.

How do you edit your pictures?

I have a tutorial here. I need to update it because I use different actions now, but most of the actual information there is still accurate.

What expansion/gamepack is your favorite?

I want to say pets because I love cats so very much, but in terms of actual content, probablyyyy FreeTime? I like anything that makes sims more unique and the hobby system is a lot of fun!

I tag: @skulldilocks, @lilithpleasant, @krabbysims, @monilisasims, @goatskickin and @simmer-until-tender

[thecourtjester12]

For the DCA fandom question thingie: 1, 5, 9, 16, 19, 20!

Thank you for the ask and the questions to answer from it! ^-^

how did you get here?

I'm a long standing FNAF fan! (not THE longest since I got into the fandom around late 2016 early 2017 just around when SL came out or a smidge before it really…) And when SB game out at first, from the trailer's at least; I wasn't TOO keen on the DCA's or how things would end up with the game, it was pretty out there to me. BUT! When it finally game out and watching GTLive play through it the daycare section (And Moon's part in partically) really drew my attention, was-and still is- my favorite part of the game, I grew attached to them and it grew from there!

I already had a FNAF special interest and in turn grew one for th DCA specifically as well!

if you make content, what's your favorite piece you've contributed?

Oh dear…this is a tough one….I'll start with written first It'd be a tie between 'System Overload' and 'Pretty Moon?' My first and 4th works with the DCA's they hold a bit of sentimentality.

As for drawing…While a bit of an Au drawing, this illustration of J-tol Moon (Moo) I just really love how they turned out ^-^ (Reminder to please use they/them for Moo!)

what do you think of the dca's canon appearance? Scary? Cute? Something else?

I think they look neat! All the little details are fascinating and it makes curious how they would function if they had existed in the real world!

Along with that I generally have a fondness for celestal themed things (suns, moons, stars, clouds) along with star and striped patterns, I just think they're really neat, so the DCA's design really fits these lil things I enjoy! Andddddd……..Moon's design reminds me an itsy bitsy bit of little porcelain clowns I collect so that's neat!

what's something in the fandom you'd like to see more of?

That's hard to say…theres so, so, sooooo many wonderful things already in the fandom and so much wonderful creators and creations! Always new ideas and new twists on ideas, its amazing to see!

Maybe more….I wouldn't say crossovers….but more stories and other creations with the DCA's and older fnaf games and characters! I don't tend to see this very often but I LOVE all of FNAF and I love getting to see the DCA's interacting with previous games characters and lore and making twists so the DCA are appart of older games, like new timelines and all that its just so cool to see!

do you think you'd actually get along with the dca if you met them irl?

Ignoring the fact a first meeting irl with…any of them would….not be good (many reasons…. :' D) While I haven't watched HW2 yet I have the jist of things from it and…Sun? Maybe?

But…no strong guarentee….bit more likely with Moon but….also iffy cause…its Moon.

Eclipse tho, I'd probably have the best chance to get along with them (I have…been told by friends i am 'eclipse-core' and come across as similiar vibes to them at times?) So one yes, the other two….iffy unfortunately. (I'm moreso meaning on their end, I would Irl be cool with em all personality wise, but whether THEY would with me….less so :' D)

free space! talk about whatever's on your mind

Let's see let's see...While I will admit to having been a wee bit distracted with other fandoms past little bit, my love for the DCA and the fandom has not died out!

I've still been engaging in the fandom if a bit more...out of sight such as with some fun little projects with beloved friends both with the PDC au blog (tho limited on there >_<) and other things I can't say quite yet!

And a lovely little blog that.....well if you know of it and know it's me behind it....good on you for figuring it out! Unfortunately that little lovely is one you'll have to find on your own!

And while im a tad slow, I have been picking away at working on things for LSAU lots to do, lots to do before i can get into the fun stuff and start showing it off properly tho!

I suppose last but not least...I'll leave with this!

This wonderful story by ShivaCheshire! I've recently started reading it and its just really well written and captures the DCA beautifully! Would highly recommend (and its even better if you're looking for a long fic!)

[dipplinduo]

#1 - 50

no im kidding LOLLLL #25 and 34.

(Context: Questions for Fic Writers Ask Game) LOOOOOL I WAS ABOUT TO BE LIKE "DAMN OKAY" xD

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

My toxic habit is that I go on google and look up synonyms of a word and search until I find one I like if I notice I'm repeating myself/want it to hit different. I should be using actual resources imo but I'm too lazy to go find them.

I also tend to research random things for accuracy (e.g. for S&S D, I often check what pokemon are available in certain areas for worldbuilding; for DIOH I recently went on a whole deep dive about sencha so I could incorporate cultural stuff & things like taste appropriately, etc.)

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

Sweet & Sour Dipplins:

I recently said this but Kieran's dialogue regarding gayness was verbatim my memory of what little me said in response to learning about gay people & a family member's disapproval of gay marriage ("Isn't love just love, though?")

Some of the highlights of Juliana's character are based on what I aspire to be/try to be, and her character flaws are based on what I know are my own.

Not really irl stuff but I lazily decided Juliana's team is legit my Scarlet team because I didn't feel like putting too much thought into it LOOOOL

I think I pull from my interactions with my irl guy friends when thinking of what Drayton would do/say sometimes. Also same with the bromance that is Arven/Crispin.

I base a lot of Sweet & Sour Applins' behaviors off of cats. Sweet Applin is more of my freinds' domestic cats, while Sour Applin is closer to a cat I grew up with and saved from the streets. She had a very big love/hate relationship with me in particular DESPITE ME BEING THE FIRST HUMAN SHE WARMED UP TO AND THE LITERAL REASON SHE GOT A HOME-

One of the S&S kissing scenes is based on something I've experienced personally. I am not saying which one. 💀

The Dichotomy in Our Hearts:

People in my personal life often describe my disposition as being "sunshiney", but I can have my own broody rainclouds when I'm down lol. I usually appreciate being able to talk about my feelings but if I'm in a particularly rare mood of total despondence nothing will really work on me other than silence and physical touch. It's my primary love language and Kieran's own despondence being broken through with it in Chapter 2 is a very ME thing in hindsight LOOOOL

Juliana hiding her feelings is something I have absolutely done with crushes growing up, and her shy but curious and caring disposition is based off of my past self. How she will deal with her secret crush on Kieran will also be dealt with in the way I have dealt with my own (although this is coincidence and is for the plot).

A Sugary Sweet Kiss:

One time I went on a date with someone who was really really nervous the whole time, and I pulled a littleeeee bit from him when I was characterizing Kieran. I also dressed very nicely while the other person dressed down like Juliana and Kieran did in the fic. xD

[lazaruspiss]

So, I'm writing a long fanfic based around the characterizations of the various Bats in the 80s-00s time frame, and Nightwing is gonna be important but I don't have a good grasp of his personality yet. I'm currently reading through The Resurrection of Ras Al Ghul, but that and a few of the 2016 issues are all I've got to go off of right now.

Do you have any comics you'd recommend for getting a good grasp of his personality and general vibes?

I'd also be happy to read any kind of ramble about his personality/appeal you feel like writing. Having read your fanfiction I feel like (sincere compliment:) you are the exact kind of unhinged I want to get character opinions from.

(Also you mentioned Dick being in the mob which sounds Very Fun and I wanna know what titles so I can read that)

-redhoodinternaldialectical on anon cause sideblog

ok first of all. im flattered. i feel so powerful rn.

and second of all... my 'to read' list is embarrassingly long, and dick's been around and in a lot of comics so i have a lot of trouble keeping up ;-; but i will try my best!!

The New Teen Titans gets recommended a lot as a starting point for Dick as Nightwing, and while i havent read much of it, the stuff i have read has been pretty solid and i get why its so popular.

Nightwing 1996 is my personal go to comic for Dick, mainly bc it was his first real solo run. (it's often listed as "volume 2" of nightwing, but volume 1 aka Nightwing 1995 was really more of a test drive just to see if they should make a Nightwing solo series) It's also where Dick joins the mob! although that came off the tail end of a lot of different plot points.

(This is a bit unrelated, but in general I think knowing a bit of irl context to certain comic events is important. Like, at one point Bludhaven is nuked off the map. It doesn't make sense, and it was most likely due to some higher up DC nonsense. And Nightwing 1996's second annual is written by a man. etc etc.)

... I actually have a guide I've been working on, main reasons being quick reference for what happens where, and that writing these things down helps me remember them better

as you can probably tell, I still have a ways to go. looking at this now i'm starting to realize that i am really down bad for him lol

Mobbed Up (where Dick gets adopted by a random mob boss who took one look at his depressed mug as he was getting fired from the police force and said "new son?") is issues #107-111

I feel like I should get back to character thoughts.

Dick on his own is deeply serious, he has a job to do and it's incredibly important that he does it right. In the beginning this serves as an invaluable asset, but as he loses more people it starts to turn into more destructive. A trait that is morphed by his traumas into obsessiveness.

Dick when Tim comes to visit (or just when he's around people he cares about) is a bit softer, it's subtle, but it shows that he's aware of/cares for the people around him.

Dick with Bruce around seems to worry so much about proving himself, about being seen as a respectable peer, that it backfires into making him come off more insecure and as a bit of a "rebellious teen". (which is exactly what he's trying to avoid when he strikes out on his own) I've read various arcs and issues but I haven't actually read any focused on Dick and Bruce aside from the ones towards the beginning, so I'm sure their relationship must change, but this is how they were when Dick had first moved to Blud.

I feel like Bludhaven is also important to talk about. It's very much meant to be "Gotham, but worse". It's a place that even Batman wouldn't bother with, a place beyond saving. I'm... kind of breaking my own heart, thinking about how much Dick put into this city, only to. To fail? In a sense? A hero's home city isn't usually obliterated like that. The only other example that comes to mind is Hal Jordan's, and Hal literally went insane and became a space terrorist to bring it back. Dick is just... forced to move on.

And Dick goes back to NYC. Nightwing patrolling Gotham with any regularity feels very modern. He shows up when there's a major event and DC wants to capitalize on having a bunch of names in the same series, and he shows up when something drastic changes (like a new robin, or a death). Dick has however spent a lot of time in NYC, either because of the Titans or because. yknow. home go boom.

Anyways. Arc recs. Unironically I need you to read Brothers in Blood. Get past the initial gross out factor of Tentatodd and it's a great look at Jason and Dick's relationship. This is #118-122 and right after Bludhaven gets nuked. Dick has just experienced the lowest lows that one could low. Jason seems to know all about it, and tries to help in the worst way possible. Jason is right and blunt and convoluted and so so insecure about where he stands with Dick. Dick doesn't know where he stands with Jason either, on account of all the murder, and his tactless approach to trying to confront Dick on the copious amounts of trauma that Dick is dealing with. BiB is my Jaydick bible.

I'd also say to just give the first few arcs a shot. Beginnings are meant for introductions! It gives a good sense of who Dick is, why he's here, and what his goals are. Exposition baby! And I'm once again thinking about how ultimately Dick kind of fails said goals. I love him but he makes me so emo. Blockbuster has also been his main villain since the beginning, up until. Yknow. He became deader than his namesake. There's also a few fear toxin based issues that are good for. well. understanding what his fears are. There's also a fear toxin scene in Batman: Orphans, but i'll just reblog the post i made of it so u don't have to read that one. The art is fun, the story is weird and just kinda. meh.

#60 is when Dick joins the force. The beginning of the end, so to speak, but we don't meet Catalina until #71.

#93 is That Issue. The infamous rape scene. The thing about his time with Catalina is that it was almost definitely meant to be explored for what it was- an abusive relationship. But DC wanted Nightwing in an event. It doesn't have any satisfactory end, Bruce (DC) calls Dick to fight in Gotham. He does. His story falls to the wayside for the bigger title. The worst thing that can happen to a DC character IMO is getting a Batman crossover. There was supposed to be an entire arc dedicated to what would happen to Dick in this abusive relationship. But we got 2 issues. And War Games. It pisses me off to absolutely no end. DC needed more mouths to kiss the ground that Batman walks on. They don't give a damn about the stories that exist outside their cash cow.

After all that, eventually Dick is back to his utterly depressing life. He joins the mob, finds a family, bad things happen to said family. (Mobbed Up, #107-111) He wants to protect the daughter, Sophia Tevis, and then Slade holds Sophia hostage to get Dick to teach his daughter Rose how to fight. He does, but he also teaches Rose how to question authority (aka her dad). Slade is not happy about that, and nukes Bludhaven. (Renegade, #112-117) See my earlier note about IRL reasons for dumbass plot points.

Nightwing 1996 has 2 annual issues (despite running for much longer than 2 years). The first annual is a fun murder mystery and i think a good look into how Dick handles relationships. He also reads as very aromantic/demiromantic who doesn't know it yet, but maybe that's just me, lol. the second annual is dog shit. Mark Andreyko can get bent, it sucked total ass and isn't worth reading.

[blujayonthewing]

23, 26, 30, 34 for Felix, Mel and Nyssa! :3

23. how would you describe their voice? can they sing?

felix is soft spoken-- his voice is sort of in the back of my throat, and he's often quiet and a bit muttery-- he tends to speak either a little haltlingly or all in sort of a rush-- much more haltingly if he's stressed. he's a surprisingly excellent singer, but he'd implode if anyone ever caught him singing, lol. melliwyk's a little reedy-- my starting point for her was emily litella, although she's ended up less high-pitched and squeaky than that, haha. she can probably? carry a tune? I don't think she's tone-deaf or anything, but she's not any sort of good singer, and she really doesn't sing ever. nyssa is sweet and breathy, if not airy-- my starting point for her was evanna lynch as luna lovegood. you can hear that she's smiling, and often teetering on the edge of bemused laughter. she's a pretty good singer! it's not her strongest suit musically speaking, but she can carry a tune and has a soft, sweet singing voice.

26. how do they move? are they clumsy? light on their feet? do they use mobility aids?

felix's motions are sharp and agile-- on a normal/ casual basis he's sort of fidgety, picks things up and fiddles with them or just wrings his hands if there's nothing else to occupy them, but he's graceful in motion; fighting, for example, or sneaking around. if he's not sneaking around he likes to stroll at a relaxed pace, and generally keeps his hands in his pockets when he's just walking about. melliwyk tends to sort of bustle about, and she gestures a lot-- a lot of broad, fluid, rolling sort of wrist and finger motions, but she's also lowkey expressive with her whole body while she's talking. nyssa is extremely light-footed, nimble and springy-- except when she was disguising herself as a dwarf before she learned disguise self, and had to try to walk in real physical human boots without 1) looking like a cat wearing booties for the first time 2) tripping over her own feet. which she hated! a lot! without the hindrance of shoes, she's shockingly fast when she gets going, for someone with such a relaxed disposition, and she tends to sort of flit about when she's in good spirits. she's also an exceptional dancer!

30. do they smell like anything notable?

felix smells, generally, like pipe tobacco and leather, and wool that's been in the sun and the rain a lot-- and cedar, if he's drawing (he chews on the pencils). he's relatively fastidious about hygiene, so mostly he just smells like his clothes, although sometimes he gets up to Shenanigans that leave him smelling like, you know, garbage or chimney smoke or old potatoes (don't ask). melliwyk usually has a metallic scent about her, and most of her stuff is suffused in years' worth of ritual incense smoke and various magical reagents. sometimes she smells like something was just on fire (because something was just on fire) (it's fine). nyssa has, primarily, the warm, appealing, musky sort of natural smell of a clean person or animal, but she also smells of the flowers in her hair, and other less identifiable sweet and green or earthy kinds of scents tend to hang around her as well. she also often smells like honey, or tobacco, or wine, or unfortunately weed lol-- whatever she's been Up To that might leave a scent on her.

ALSO >:) these are the three I bought a bunch of alkemia samples for, and I got some REALLY good ones!! for Felix I've been really favoring The Highwayman, but Kitten And The Falling Leaves and Dustsceawung are also really good for him in two different directions; there are a bunch of good weird wizardy options for Melliwyk but I LOVE Industrial Sabotage and Sigil, separately but especially together; and Nyssa has always been the hardest for me to pick scents for irl because I can never settle on whether to go sweet or green/earthy or floral or animal, but I've been really enjoying combining Gaea and Electric Fur for her :3

34. how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are.

felix would laugh a little nervously and just tell you, pleasantly, that he's no one of consequence, there's not really much to say. and then change the subject (please).

melliwyk: "Well, what is there to say? I'm a wizard, a researcher, specializing in transmutation and artificing. I've just recently invented a means of spellcasting using artificing principles, although no one seems terribly interested in that 🙄. [good humoredly, grinning teasingly:] I'm a little bit of a pain in the ass, particularly to the sorts of people who can't appreciate the balance between risk and reward, but I usually know mostly what I'm doing."

nyssa: "I'm a satyr; I have curly hair and green eyes, and there are flowers in my hair; I'm very friendly :) I really just like to have fun; I like to dance, and I like to play music... I love spending time with my friends, and I love meeting new people :) I try to bring joy when I can... I don't always understand things, but I'm trying my best to figure it all out :)'

ask about my OCs :3

[liquidstar]

Hey if I had a transmasc character and he never actually transitioned himself, would that be transphoic? bc I have a really cool, like, metaphorical thing there, where he makes this artificial living puppet to be his idealised self + physically masculine, but that metaphor kind of falls apart if he himself also transisitions into a male body.

Am willing to elaborate!

Oh there's absolutely nothing wrong with depicting a pre-transition or NO transition trans character. I do think there can be wrong ways to go about it (such as caricatured depictions) but nothing here is raising any red flags to be about that.

Not every trans person medically transitions (hormones and surgery). There can be many reasons for this, from personal choice to inability due to outside factors. That's okay. And not every trans person is about to socially transition- to come out. Many do in fact go about their lives presenting as their agab because sometimes there's not really a choice. It's something that will upend your entire life too, so many people just take their time. Nothing at all is wrong with that. Not every trans person got to go on hormones by age 16 and had top surgery by age 20, that's a very idealized narrative that isn't actually very common at all (nothing wrong w indulging in wish fulfillment tho but not to overdo it)

Basically what I'm saying here is that not every trans experience is getting to do all the medical transition stuff, or even the social transitioning. And it's not inherently wrong to depict that. Because that's just kinda... Life. There are lots of different experiences and all are valid

And the whole puppet thing in this case... I think it makes sense. I think that lots of people who want to transition/come out but can't will find ways to express themselves. In the past I've talked about how many identify w a different identity online than what they seem to irl, and I kinda compared this to that old stereotype of a closeted trans person finding freedom in "crossdressing" in private. It's not a 1:1 but I think you understand what I mean.

I would maybe be a bit careful about the idealized self stuff because while that is VERY MUCH a thing, I think it's also important to acknowledge that his appearance and medical transition (or lack there of) isn't what makes him a man. A no-op no-hrt trans dude is still a dude, no matter how much he looks like a "girl" according to binary societal standards. Y'know? But obviously that doesn't make it wrong for him to have an idealized self, I just think that too much escapism on this end isn't ideal either. But this can certainly be an arc, because like I said before, this stuff is often a necessary coping tool for many. I think what would be nice (if it ever comes to it, idk how you story will go so I'm just spitballing) would be that if the people around him ever saw his real body, they still treated him like a boy even if he doesn't "look the part." (Again, according to binary standards that mean nothing) Because it's not about looks 👍 that's only superficial, doesn't reflect who you are. And I think that could be a good lesson. if it makes sense for the story, that is.

Because his body already is a male body. Because it's his body. And he's male. That's it. Everything else (hrt and surgery) should be a personal choice about presentation, rather than conforming to a societal ideal of what a "male body" is. A male body, regardless of AGAB, can look like anything. A cis man can look like anything, or have "female" sex characteristics, since sex itself isnt binary either. (Though I'm not the person to ask for writing advice from on that end) Same applies for a trans man. Even if he does eventually want to medically transition, that doesn't make his body now any less "male," because that's his decision. Bodies just aren't that binary.

Anyway those are just random thoughts but the TLDR is that there's not an inherent issue w portraying ppl who haven't transitioned one way or the other. It's not an offensive subcategory of trans people! It's how many live and that's okay... As long as you're treating them like a character and not caricature it's all cool. But please please please please remember that a trans mans body is a mans body no matter what. Good luck anon! Feel free to ask follow-ups if you want!

[cryingatships]

Parents in BMF

Sooo, Be My Favorite has been hitting too close to my heart since ep 1. But this ep topped it off ahaha I did not sign up for this where's the cutesy show I can watch without feeling anything

There's already been a lot of (frankly wonderful) discussions about it, but this stuff hits close to home so I had to write a bit, too. Prior warnings for (mostly) personal thoughts, disorderly ramblings, and discussions of homophobia.

About Kawi

We start off the series with saving Kawi's family as one of the goals. But what is 'family' to Kawi? Kawi gives us a lot of info about his background - He is poor (one of his main insecurities that plays into his sense of self), his mother has remarried and moved away, and his father is mortally ill.

From Kawi's words, it's clear that he is not at all close to his mother. So, he probably did not have a mother figure growing up. Did he even have a feminine figure he was close to throughout his childhood and adolescence? A playmate, a neighbour, an aunt? (Not really, I think)

Is that why he values his 'crush' so much?

A woman showed him kindness and interest for perhaps a very, very long time, in a foreign setting where he feels vulnerable, and he latched to it. Can't blame him for that. But that brings up an interesting possibility—The feelings Kawi has for Pear, are they of an inherently romantic nature? Or are they of some other kind, but which Kawi chooses to label as romantic, because he has little to no experience with female affection whatsoever?

Anyway, I was supposed to talk about Kawi's dad and got derailed.

So, Kawi's father.

Someone who loves Kawi a lot, as evident from his unwillingness to touch the fixed deposit he has because it is saved for Kawi's future. He refuses to get expensive treatment that is crucial for him to live him because he does not want to land Kawi in debt. (He also refused to talk about his disease in the initial eps, perhaps because he does not want his son to worry about him and affect his studies.)

So, Kawi at least had a positive father figure in his life. (who evetually becomes the reason why Kawi starts chasing his dreams!! Woot to healthy fathers in bls and in reality!)

But, it also makes me wonder, would Kawi's father accept the fact of him being a part of the queer community? Since BMF is a bl show, the answer is perhaps yes. (Though BMF is giving so many surprises each week I feel that this may just be hmmm... not true... hm... deep in delulu) But if this was in the real world, would he, an aged asian person with perhaps negligible knowledge about the queer community, learns that his so-far-straight son has suddenly 'turned gay' (using this term cause this is what I've heard ppl use irl when talking about their kids coming out...), be ok with it? Would he accept Kawi?

(I REALLY really wanna see Kawi coming out to his dad. LIke. Give it to meeee gmmtv.)

About Pisaeng

Contrasting Kawi's openness about his family (despite his insecurities about it), we have Pisaeng, who gives us no info about his family.

In all the prev eps, we got little mention of Pisaeng's family. And when we did, it was from Pear, saying that Pisaeng had a lonely childhood with no friends other than her and Not. (Which struck me as weird, cause Pisaeng, with his friendliness, ought to have many. making assumption about extroverts...i'm sorry. Ofc, we later learn the reason for this.)

Anyway, Pisaeng *does not* bring his family up, ever. He refuses to talk of the past. What could have happened back then?

In ep 6, finally, we get an idea.

It's Max, dearest Tired Queer who never fails us, who brings it up (the irony!)

But, even faced with the direct question, Pisaeng clams up and refuses to talk. (At this point I didn't realize what was happening it, just thought we were hating on politicians like we always ought to. And that Pisaeng's last name is very common in Thailand.)

And this wannabe politician lady is liberal enough on the media to have an out and proud queer person like Max follow her because he likes "what she says."

I need a breather cause this is so close to reality that it's nauseating

We later know that liberal politician lady is Pisaeng's mum. And all her liberal thoughts are just for the show. She employs people who are from the queer community but then uses them to spy on her son. (another breather needed asap)

Now, I wouldn't have realized this part if @bengiyo hadn't pointed this out in their post about how Pisaeng has been forced into the closet by his *liberal queer-supportive* mother, who also insists on controlling his life, his sexuality, and even his friends. Look at @jjsanguine's post on Pisaeng's mother and her view of frivolous friendships! It's soo... TwT. There *are* parents who insist their children don't make friends cause according to them the wrong sort of friends will get them into trouble in their future life (aka employment/career. Frick society and its- everything, actually.)

As much as I hate her for her horrible parenting, for her blatant lies about acceptability, and for using queers to hunt down their own community, and for being a politician (there's smt inherently wrong with ppl in politics, smt or the other, you can't convince me otherwise), I can't help but marvel how real her character is. Cause yeah, this stuff happens every day. I've seen others experience it, and I've experienced it myself.

That said, I can also see *where* Pisaeng's mum is coming from. (His name is so long I wanna call him Saeng but we got soo many Saeng's in bls recently ueue). As in the thought that drives their behaviour.

I think Pisaeng's mother operates on this—It's ok as long as it's not one of ours aka queerness in fine, as long as it's other people, as long as it does not affect our children.

I dunno about Thailand, but in my part of Asia, this is the often the *most* acceptability queers get. This, or outright homophobia. (breaths.)

Parents (ie the 'cool' ones) are ok with lgbt+ as long as their kids don't come out one day, or heavens forbid, bring a partner home. I do believe there are some parents who accept lgbt freely, but like, in my 19 yrs of experience, none of the parents (the ones who were ok enough to hold such a talk with in the first place) were. I hope some parents out there are more accepting :')

If you belong to a particularly liberal upper/upper middle class family, and you show your parent an lgbt ad, talk about the latest legislature that decriminalized homosexual relationships, or the ongoing court case about legalizing same sex marriage, they'll be ok with that. They'll nod their head and say 'progress'. (Though a lot more parents would beat you/inflict other kinds of abuse on you. Also honour killing.)

But heaven forbid their child becomes a part of that community. Then, there are talks of soothsayers, 'treatments', "it's just a phase", cutting off the child's friends and their access to phone cause they've been "badly influenced".

At the end, if the person still insists on being a part of queer community, the parents will force them to hide it. Not to tell anyone about it, to go back to the closet. Which is exactly what happened with Pisaeng. Only, Pisaeng's mother makes it worse (should there be a difference in levels of homophobia?) by using this pseudo acceptance for profit.

Their worry? The person's future. Their career, jobs, social standing. Because yes, even with legislatures, being queer can hamper one's access to education, health, and job opportunities, among many many other things. (To say nothing about the recent rise in hate crimes in my country...)

Often, this behaviour comes from parental love (a very twisted love that is), because most parents do not want their children to suffer, which they inevitably would if they lived their queer lives openly in the current social conditions.

But it also comes from prejudice, hate, and as urge to control. In many cases, parents refuse to accept their children have grown up, and are in a place to make their own decisions. Instead, they try to dictate every thought and every behaviour, including the choice of marital partners. (Ik arranged marriage au is often a thing of joke in the bl circle but, it's so real, guys. It happens way too often and tho it's mostly not a coercive thing... it sometimes is).

Also, surveillance. Parents often pry on phones, it's uncomfortably common place. I know a (not lgbt) friend whose parent had hired a private detective to spy on them cause they were afraid said friend would go into bars and get into drugs after entering uni.

So yeah. It's a circus. It'd be a funny one if this wasn't real life. >.>

So anyway anyway, Pisaeng's mother and her words made me think a lot sooo... I thought-dumped!

When I started watching BMF I thought it'd be a funny little show that would help me relax after a hectic week. Who knew it'd make me write so much about so many things. (I also blame Tumblr.)

This got wayy too personal at the end so like, congrats if you read till here. I kudos your patience for reading my disorganized mess of thoughts. Have a cookie/cupcake/chicken fritters(they are so! good!)/other food of your choice and I hope your weekend goes reallyy well!

ALso I hope Pisaeng's mother gets her just desserts. Even if she accepts him in the end, her past behaviour is horrible. And who knows if she won't use her financial and political power to harm the queer society later? People in power always under suspicion tbh

Also I just realized we have got nothing about Pisaeng's father...

[neptune-lover]

LOVE!?!? Pt1

Nathan Frazer x reader

AN: hi everyone sorry for being on and off recently just life has NOT been good to me just a lot mentally I'm trying to work on stuff but my motivation comes and goes but I wanted to start another series on top of the one I have rn until I can think of a story more so going forward for that one but recently I've been loving Nathan Frazer and there is BARELY any fan fics of him so I wanna change that this will be a reader x nathan Frazer this is pure indulgence for me but this will be a series and I have at least a first few chapters planned out and I will also in the beginning of the story use the fact that nathan and Thea are dating irl in this story line but I hope you guys enjoy it (ALSO IMPORTANT ive always liked Ali so I'm writing this as if he was still in WWE)

Y/n had recently been let go from her job as a makeup person on AEW. But lucky for her NXT was looking for a new makeup person for the girls and some of the guys for when special effects were needed. That was a few months ago now it had been a few months and she had made tons if new friends including Thea, Gigi, Roxanne and even RHEA BLOODY RIPLEY. And over time y/n have gotten to know a lot of the boys like Dominik, Wes, Ali and..... Nathan. See the thing is it's not like y/n DIDN'T like Nathan it was actually quite the opposite y/n LIKED him like had a crush on him. One problem though.... He was currently dating her best friend thea. They have been together for about 2 years now(I guessed) . She started to realise she liked him over the last few weeks are so and was to nervous to say anything for 2 reasons. 1. She didn't want to seem like a bad best friend for liking her bff's boyfriend if she told Thea and 2. She didn't want to tell anyone IN CASE it some how got around to thea. She didn't want to lose her best friend over a stupid crush of a stupid British boy(sorry but I'm allowed that comment I'm British myself). So she kept it a secret and made sure NO ONE would find out. The thing is being BFFs with your crushes girlfriend means you are around said crush All. THE. TIME. whenever there wasn't a backstage segment or a fight the 2 were always together. But luckily Nathan had been a lot busier recently due to being one half of the NXT men's tag team champions. But usually whenever he was around he would not have axiom his tag partner with him. Which was good because it kept your mind off of Nathan and helped you not feel like a third wheel as much. Now tonight you had a huge match you were facing Kalani Jordan for the NXT women's north American championship. You were nervous but also excited so you, thea, Sol, Nathan and axiom were all hanging out and you were warming up while talking with the others. "So do you feel ready for your match?" Axiom asked. "Yeah I'm nervous but I know kalani won't play dirty and I can trust she will be fair" she replied back "yeah you're gonna kill it I know you can do it!! " Thea said enthusiastically. "Thanks Thea I really hope I win because not only will this mean I get my first ever title but that means that I'm ready to actually BE a champion." As she finished her sentence her music her "wish me luck guys!" She said as he went out to the ring for her match.

SO that was part 1 to my new series if you guys have any requests please feel free to look at my request list if things I will write and again I'm so sorry for not posting my mental health has been really bad until recently and I finally have motivation to write again!!

[otakween]

One Pound Gospel - Volume 1

Yay, new series! (This one was next on MAL after 0 Man). Happy to be reading something by another icon (Rumiko Takahashi). I've never heard anyone talk about this one at all, so I don't know what general opinions are nor do I know anything about the plot. Let's go!

Ch. 1

So we got a boxer in love with a nun...I saw a commenter comparing this premise to Nacho Libre and now I can't unsee it.

(I might need to include a rewatch of that movie, for the meme).

Anyways, our leads are Kosaku and Sister Angela. Kosaku seems like a head empty jock who thinks with his heart and stomach. Sister Angela seems like she can whip him into shape (emotionally lol).

Despite having watched most of Ranma 1/2, I don't think I've ever read a Rumiko Takahashi manga? Craziness! This isn't her first work but it's one of the earlier ones from the 1980s, so I'm expecting some newbie scuff (or maybe she was just a legend from the start?)

Christianity in anime/manga isn't that uncommon, but to have it be one of the main focuses is intriguing. I wonder if we'll find out how Kosaku and Angela came to the religion as Japanese people?

I don't care about boxing at all IRL, but I don't mind reading about it and learning the lingo. Maybe I'll gain an appreciation I didn't have before lol.

Didn't like Kosaku forcing a kiss on Angela (her being a nun makes it extra scuzzy). Oh the 80s...

Ch. 2

See? I'm already learning stuff. Apparently boxers aren't supposed to drink water during a fight (just rinse) and they're not supposed to have sex prior to the fight (I already knew about that one, but this reminded me). That second one's more of a superstition though.

I wasn't sure if Sister Angela wearing her habit all the time was realistic, but I googled it and apparently in some cases that is enforced. Also, I've seen nuns in public wearing habits, so I guess it's legit.

Sister Angela getting plastered was kind of funny but her breaking her wine bottle was a bit extreme. She's kinda unhinged in general, she shows up at Kosaku's match and tells him she'll never forgive him if he loses? (Seems toxic but okay)

The strategies Kosaku's coach has him using to make weight are kinda fucked up (borderline disordered). Starving himself, laxatives and sweating the weight off. I'm sure that happens plenty IRL though. Pretty sad that athletes feel the need to put their bodies through that.

Ch. 3

People in Japan...they can't actually down like 5 bowls of ramen right, that's just an anime thing? I eat one bowl and I need to lie down lol.

I look forward to seeing the food in the adaptations of the manga. Particularly in the live action.

The crucifix falling over when Angela prays for Kosaku was a funny gag.

At this point in the story the focus is definitely more on Kosaku's boxing career than on romance. I wonder if it will kind of go back and forth between the two or if the romance will always just be on the sidelines?

Ch. 4

I can't tell if Kosaku has a food addiction or if they're literally starving him. They never show him eating healthy/low calorie food that's approved by his coach so it kind of feels like he's just not allowed to eat at all. Anyone would obsessively seek out food if that's the case! He did mention "diet" earlier, so I'll hope it's not...

If I was let loose in Tokyo I'd struggle with food temptation too lol. So much street food... (Wait, is this set in Tokyo?)

Ch. 5

Kosaku stumbles into a win after throwing up in the ring again. Apparently you're allowed to win by yeeting your opponent outside the ring? Seems wrong, but what do I know

All this starvation-binge stuff is making me a little nauseous. There's gotta be a better way!

Ch. 6

You know how straight dudes in the 1980s dressed in a way that seems gay-coded by today's standards? That's kinda what Kosaku's giving. He's really cute. (Not much of a personality tho)

Takahashi sure likes her repetitive gags doesn't she? A lot of "comedy" anime do this and it's frankly kind of frustrating. I'm not gonna laugh when you do the same joke for the millionth time...

They seriously just should have put him in a heavier weight class sooner, but it feels like I'm missing something here. Why does it matter which weight class you're in and why are some more sought after than others? -shrug-

I also don't get the "4 rounds" vs. "6 rounds" thing. Is it like baseball vs. softball or something? At least Sister Angela is just as clueless as me!

Ch. 7

Okay so apparently you pick your weight class based on your bone structure, I get it I don't really get it

Ch. 8

Okay, I immediately hate Onimaru for begging his pregnant wife to have a son and not a daughter 😒 I hope Kosaku kicks his ass

It almost seems like a conflict of interest to have your friend do your confession, no?

This series is reminding me of Spy x Family. Like you know how in that show Yor's plotline is mostly sidelined compared to Loid's? That's kinda how the Kosaku/Angela balance feels here.

Ch. 9

I really don't know anything about boxing, so I don't know what makes a good or bad fight, but this one seemed really pathetic lol. I'm glad at least Onimaru wasn't a sore loser, he probably needed to be humbled anyways.

The manga seems to be implying that Kosaku is fat which...huh? He doesn't look fat at all? Sure, he eats like a fat person but...I think 1980s "fat" meant something different lol.

IDK why Angela is so set on Kosaku being in the lower weight class. I guess it's good to be disciplined, so she sees that as the morally right thing to do?

So so far this seems like a very low stakes manga. It's leaning more towards the sports genre than the romcom, which isn't really what I expected. Well, after 0-Man I could definitely use an easy-breezy read like this. Onto the next volume!

[an-aura-about-you]

I wonder how much nothing we're gonna fit into the last four chapters of Handbook for Mortals, but we're gonna tackle them one at a time.

Chapter 18 part 1:

when we last left our hero, Scheherazade was STILL dying in her childhood bedroom while her parents fart around by telling Mac the story of how they met. and that's exactly where we're picking up.

Chapter 18: The Chariot

-yeah, it's nbd that Zade is actively dying, Mac is straight up sitting at the kitchen table drinking iced tea and listening to Dela pointlessly ramble on.

-we're wasting so much time that we're even getting descriptions of the sound the ice in Mac's mason jar glass makes when he shakes it.

-another tally for casual use of the g-slur.

-Charles actually states some pretty sound philosophy on stage magicians vs. psychics: there ARE people who prey on others by claiming to know the future precisely and being able to commune with specific souls. at least with a stage magician you KNOW it's a show.

but the thing about that is Dela and Zade are both depicted as the type of people who do not use their tarot cards as tools but as divine mandate. instead of using their own discernment to figure out what they should do, they are looking for the exact order being handed down to them. and those are EXACTLY the sort of people who fall for the charlatans.

-once again Sarem demonstrates that she doesn't understand why magicians have their patter. yes, if a magician uses patter as misdirection, they have to be good at it, but I've seen enough magicians that don't talk at all through their routines to know it's not required.

-why is Mac eager to hear the rest of this story when his not-even-really-a-situationship is currently dying?

-and a casual slam on women who watch soaps.

-anyway we get the end of the story, which is that Charles wore a bulletproof vest, Betty shot him, Charles survived, and Betty was taken to a mental hospital. good ending!!

-and I was right, the last vision Dela had in the tent was that if Charles survived they would bang.

-Mac "was pretty sure that he missed the point as to why this was all relevant in regards to what was wrong with Zade." buddy, me too.

-Dela says she was about to get to that part, "the most important part." if time is of the essence, which I don't believe it is at this point, then why didn't you LEAD with the most important part?

-"there wasn't an another option" is one heck of a typo.

-Dela gives us an entire page talking about reading tarot cards before actually getting to the bit where she tells Mac that she and Zade are witches. what the fuck?

-she also says they do magic "the real kind--spelled with a 'k' at the end." *incorrect buzzer noise* nope, that spelling is a niche Wiccan thing! try again!

I know that a book can have whatever worldbuilding they want in here, and I've even said before I'm in favor of mix and match religious shit irl, but when it's this vague I'm gonna point out the inconsistency/misunderstanding.

-Dela suggests the movie Practical Magic might have had a real witch working on it, which I would be MUCH more interested in hearing about than whatever the plot of this book is.

-we just got a timestamp for how long we've been wasting time as Dela says Mac's had a long 24 hours. it's been a full day since Zade's collapsed and we're just sitting in the kitchen drinking tea and telling stories? much like Zade's poorly constructed tent in the camping chapter, there are no stakes.

-uggggggggh and Dela is giving the "well prayer and magick are the same things and the stuff you believe is actually magick" spiel to Mac. that is a shitty thing to do to a person, intentionally trying to undermine their religious or spiritual beliefs.

-wow, Dela didn't tell Charles that she was a witch until they had already had Zade and she knew she was also a witch. that's a pretty damn big thing to conceal from the person you had a kid with.

in fact, I've written a fanfic in which a character who uses a glamour to enhance his singing intentionally stops himself from accessing that power and tells his sweetheart about it when asking her to marry him just so he doesn't accidentally compel her to say yes or lock her into a relationship without divulging that he has such a powerful ability.

-we are on page 357 of this book, SO close to the end, and only NOW are we finding out that Zade has a habit of tugging the pendant on her family necklace up and down its chain. we have literally NEVER seen Zade do this. she has fiddled with her necklace exactly ONCE and said fiddling was not described in this manner.

-we are now informed that Zade used Mac as a means of grounding her power when accessing the chaos magic and the reason why she's at death's door now is because he was not at the show.

okay. while I would rather throw out the entire suitcase, let's unpack this.

Zade used Mac for her magic without informing him and without his consent, and thus against his will. Yikes.

if Zade knew she needed someone to ground her magic, why didn't she use someone she knew couldn't leave the show like Charles?

if Zade was using Mac to ground her magic, how the hell did that work when she was spending months of time rehearsing this illusion without him around?

if Zade knew Mac was upset with her, why did she go on with the trick? does emotional state not matter with this kind of grounding? obviously distance matters.

why didn't Zade stop the trick once she started feeling unwell? how did she not know that was because Mac wasn't there to ground her magic? was there any reason why the trick couldn't be stopped once it started? and if so, why would you start a trick without being 100% certain Mac was present?

Zade spent all these months rehearsing this trick and didn't consider any sort of backups in case Mac couldn't be there? didn't we get a whole spiel earlier in the book that everybody had some sort of backup in case they got sick or had to go to a wedding?

why the fuck was Zade using chaos magic for this illusion again? why in the world did she deem it necessary to do that?

-"I was on my deathbed because of [Mac]." No The Fuck You Aren't. you're on your deathbed because you were stupid enough to use chaos magic for a trick that didn't need it and used a person who hadn't consented and didn't know about it to ground that magic. this was not Mac maliciously walking off knowing it would cause harm. fuck you for blaming him for something that is 100% absofuckinglutely not. his. fault.

-"Why would she do that without telling me?" a good fucking question, Mac. Zade, you're getting an F-- on communication.

and my lunch break is over so the rest is gonna have to wait.

[keeperofthesunandmoon]

Hey, anon who was asking about sending feedback here. Doing it not anon this time just to make any replies needed easier. Apologies in advance for the wall of text, I've tried to condense it, but I'm not the best at being concise. Also sorry if any of this has been brought up before.

First a couple technical issues I encountered. In chapter 7 I got the part about my mom taking care of me while sick, even though my parents were killed last chapter, then inversely when I went through again and saved them the dialogue option "“All my goodness died when he took my parents.” was available to choose.

Anyway onto the juicy stuff. So for the most part, I really liked the game so far, I thought it is a really good continuation of the story, and I'm definitely excited for more. But I obviously do have some notes, so here they are.

1) Being able to detect heartbeats isn't actually an accurate way of detecting bluffs (or lies in general). Heartrate raises if a person is excited or scared, and a good liar would be calm while lying. Plus with poker specifically, knowing your opponent is bluffing is only part of the equation, you still have to have a good hand, or be able to bluff yourself.

2) I feel like there should be the option to be opposed to control magic due to trauma rather than just general moral opposition, depending on the choices made. Like, at the very least, any MC unfortunate enough to have Julian Anderson as their birth father, probably has more reason to be averse to control magic than just "mind control bad cause it takes away free will".

On the same note, there are multiple instances where without player input, your character either uses control magic, considers using it, or sits there while someone else casually uses it. Which like, even trauma aside, if I’ve been picking all the “I think control magic is morally evil” options it seems weird my character would just casually use it to make someone forget a conversation, or be fine with their friends using it to get past airport security.

It also kinda sucks, for the above reasons, that in regards to the screening, your only options are let someone use control magic on you (whether or not you resist) or compel them first. Like I said, I feel like my MC would be very traumatized by the whole concept of control magic, and would very much not be on board with either of these options.

3) The jar of holy oil felt a bit like it came out of nowhere. Like I previously got the impression that holy oil was pretty hard to get your hands on, even for someone with the MCs connections, but then you just like have a jar of it in your bag I guess, no real explanation as to how it got there. Also IDK if this was intentional misdirection or not, so sorry in advance if it is, but because it’s first mentioned as an “unbreakable jam jar” directly after talking about the homemade snow globes (which are often made from jars), I thought the jam jar was the snow globe, up until you actually use it.

4)This one’s kind of a legacy issue from the previous games, so IDK how fixable it is at this point, but basically the game feels like it's in an odd situation when it comes to the MC, that I can best describe as being nonbinary inclusive, but trans exclusive. The game lets you choose the name/pronouns you want, but then the flashbacks just assume your character was still using the same ones back when they were a toddler (obviously there are people irl who do come out at a pretty young age, but, at least in my experience, that's the exception rather than the rule). Like obviously something to account for that could be added, but IDK if you can like update already published games, and if not adding it to the third game would probably introduce some weirdness, so IDK.

5) I’m confused as to what a “stereotypical drakaina” would be cause like a drakaina isn’t really like a thing in pop culture the same way something like angels and demons are, and the word itself is literally just the feminine form of the Ancient Greek word for dragon or serpent. Would it just be dressing up as a dragon? I realize this one's pretty nitpicky, I’m just confused.

6) In the dream sequence in chapter 8, the game seems to just like assume the MC and RO are able to have a biological kid together. I know that both it’s a dream sequence and also a setting with magic, so it’s not really a plot hole or anything per say, but I think taking that into mind, and maybe adding some text for situations where that might be in question, to explain that would be a good idea.

7) "…for the fact that the worst crime they’ve ever committed is jaywalking." I’m fairly certain forging a birth certificate is also a crime. /s

Thank you for the feedback! I've made some edits to earlier chapters based on it for next update