#i've been thinking about it a lot lately.

[dekuneho]

needy ☆ ( prohero!katsuki x fem!reader ) mdni | 18+ — katsuki's kink is probably you asking for it; katsuki has a filthy mouth im sorryyy 1.7k

You're usually not the first to initiate this. Sex. Katsuki doesn't worry about failing to get what he wants, not like how you are right now. He's vociferous — "Can I fuck you, baby?" and you'd melt against him so easily because you fell for Bakugou Katsuki for that reason.

You can't do that. You don't know how to approach him with the same effortlessness and not get swallowed up whole by the urge to flee before you can even get a word out. It's not for the fear of rejection but for how bare you'd be asking for it. Sex.

Katsuki, of course, notices your restlessness for the entire evening. He doesn't say anything about it at first, not even while you eat together and you can't seem to meet him in the eyes, or how you don't join him in the shower unlike always, or even how you sit on the edge of the bed like there's steam blowing out your ears.

"Spit it out," Katsuki says, his back pressed against the headboard. "Look at me."

You clutch at your chest, bringing attention to the unsteady thumping of your heartbeat. You rip your gaze off the floor and instead gravitate to Katsuki's biceps bulging from the press against his chest.

You swallow a pathetic noise, reminded of what exactly you've been needing from your boyfriend.

You tear your eyes away from his arms and meet an arched, pale eyebrow. Assessing. How is this so hard? You can't even bring yourself to choke out a "pleasefuckme" because Katsuki makes you feel like some freshman asking for some hand-holding in the hallway.

It's embarrassing to be years in a relationship with Katsuki, but you're so attracted to him that asking to be fucked feels the same as asking him out.

It's Katsuki's expression that cracks the fragile atmosphere. He has his brows pinched in a crease that wrinkles his forehead. His face doesn't betray anything else, but you're well-versed in Katsuki to understand that he is just as nervous as you are. Anxious.

"It's nothing bad," you assure him, guilt aching in your chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ignore you."

Katsuki eases just an inch. He clicks his tongue and looks away. "Could've sworn otherwise."

As terrible as that sounds, how Katsuki is just as affected as you are invertedly calms you down. Whatever happens, you know Katsuki will be honest with you.

Clinging onto the last shred of your dignity, you crawl over pillows and settle on Katsuki's lap. Hovering.

His confusion overtakes his worry, hands instinctively reaching out to your waist. "What—"

"Katsuki," you begin, and his breathing halts in anticipation. Tentatively, barely there, you roll your hips over his, fluttering in delight when his cock swells with growing interest, and you can feel it, right there, separated by layers—

"Fuck," he hisses through his teeth, heated hands moving to your ass. "You..."

"Please," it tumbles out your mouth so nicely. "I've been thinking about it a lot lately." Shame burns on your cheeks, watching as his dick stirs. Intrigued. "And you haven't been — giving it. Lately."

"That what it is?" he asks quietly, almost in disbelief. "Needed me to fill you up?"

There's no better way to say it.

When you look up from where you two meet, Katsuki's pupils have dilated so wide that there's barely a trace of red. It speaks of a promise: I'll give it to you. Air closes around your throat, thighs twitching. He feels it, too.

"Been hurtin', weren't you?" he says, sounding untamed as he breathes it over your ear, inciting a full-body shiver. "Been needin' it bad? M'sorry. Didn't mean to neglect you, sweetheart."

"Katsuki," you gasp brokenly.

"Mm." He kisses your jaw, sucks on it, hands catching on the drawstring of your sweatpants, pulls on it. You lift your thighs. Soon enough, you're fully bare waist-down. "So fuckin' hot, asking for me to fuck you like that. Shit, I'm gonna be dreamin' about that for months."

He proves his interest by grinding up your thigh. You whine, feeling it from the back of your throat. You need him so badly. You barely notice that you're still rubbing yourself against him until there's a wet patch over his sweatpants.

"Hold still, sweetheart."

Katsuki dips a finger where you're unsurprisingly wet. He rubs where he knows you're sensitive the most, the slick of your arousal making the friction so good. Your back arches and Katsuki's cooing, coaxing each noise out with his fingers and the filth from his mouth.

"You're already wet," he says, pupils as dark as his voice.

"Don't tease," you manage to choke out, gripping the front of his shirt. "I already — ah — prepped myself. I needed you to fuck me last week."

Katsuki stills, his eyes flicking from your cunt to your needy expression, then curses under his breath.

"Fuck, fuck," he says. "Fuck you. You have no idea how hard it'll be to go out on patrol when I'm thinkin' about you talkin' dirty like that."

Embarrassment floods your entire body. "Don't say it like that, asshole. And focus on your patrol! Don't let your dick distract you from the villains!"

Katsuki shuts you up by sliding the roughness of his palm over your heat, pulling a whimper that makes him grin. "They're the distraction. Never you. Thinkin' about you all the time — this, all the time."

"Pervert," you say, but you're moving your hips along his hand.

Katsuki laughs once, pulling you off his hips, only for him to pull his sweatpants down by his knees. "Who was the one beggin' for it?"

You can't bring yourself to think of something witty. The sight of him hard in front of you has you robbed of incoherent thought.

Katsuki knows it. He's seen that look on your face time and time again — know only he can do that to you. "Let me make it up to you, yeah? Let me fill you up the way you'd been cravin'."

He's so embarrassing with that mouth. It's a wonder why you're whining louder, getting wetter.

"You want it," Katsuki says, leaning back against the headboard. "Baby, you wanted this, didn't you? Take what you want from me."

You may be the one on top of him, but you've never felt all the more embarrassed, giving him a full view of how wet you are for him just by thinking about it. It drips. Yet you find yourself too needy to complain, not wanting to waste the opportunity he's giving.

"Okay," you say, lifting your hips up enough for him to watch yourself lining up above him.

And does he watch, eyes wild. You may be the one to initiate this, but he's the one looking desperate for it. Like he can't bring himself to wait a second longer before burying himself in you. He's big. You might've stretched yourself open, yet it'd take a while for you to accommodate his size again after days without it. So you only take him in inch by inch, impressed by how Katsuki screws his eyes shut, keeping himself from moving.

"Fuck," you both say in tandem.

You shudder, feeling so full in a way you've been itching for. You can barely resist your eyes rolling to the back of your head when you feel him twitch inside you. Katsuki's not fairing any better, fingers digging in your hips, some noise close to a whine by the back of his throat. The thought of him leaving marks when you've been so bare of it for too long has you clenching around him. He groans, unable to help himself from thrusting up. You share a gasp.

You tremble, feeling boneless and restless simultaneously. "Katsuki. Katsuki—”

You're not entirely sure what you're trying to say, only that Katsuki understands.

"I know," he says, sounding just as winded. "Wanted it, too, you don't even know."

At his muttering, you find yourself fucking against him, chasing the pleasure his words are giving you. You missed this badly. Nights when he had evening patrol and you were achingly empty were the worst; you couldn't complain, but you've wanted to hide Katsuki from the world and keep him to you for too long. Your wrists ache at the reminder — they were never as good as this.

Your answering moan is loud in your mouth, hips gaining speed. He reaches far deeper than you can even try. He knows it.

"Yeah? Your fingers not enough, ain't it?" Katsuki says, rolling his hips up when you slam down, gaze hot as you tremble above him. "Look at you, baby. So wet and hot. You're making a mess. Needed it that bad?"

"Yes. Please, please," you can only say. You feel yourself losing strength as your climax slowly reaches for you.

"Fuck," he exhales, and thankfully uses those years of upper body strength training to help you ride him — where it nearly feels as if you're barely exerting any effort. Sweat trails down his jaw, his eyes ravaging the sight of you swallowing him up every thrust. "You — needed me to fill you up like this, huh?"

"Katsuki, I—” You want to look away, shame filling your insides. It's unfair that Katsuki is so attractive that just looking at him makes you surrender so easily. "I think I'm close. Katsuki, I can't—"

"Hah," Katsuki twitches, breath seizing. "Yeah? You gonna give it t'me, baby? Come on. Know you can. Show me how good I make you feel."

Tears well up in your eyes. This position has him reaching so deep inside that after this, you know you'll miss how you can feel him in there, like he's branding himself in your body, staking a claim where no one else can see. But they'd know. On the bruises on your hips, the marks all over your neck, how you're chanting Katsuki's name and—

Katsuki kisses you deeply when you spill, his own release following along like just seeing you gets him every time. You moan fully in his mouth, always surrendering.

"Thank you," you sigh against him.

Katsuki snorts, massaging shapes into the sides of your hips. "You know I'll always want it more than you. Don't gotta thank me for that."

[mercymaker]

✶ 𝐇 𝐀 𝐋 𝐒 𝐈 𝐍 & 𝐌 𝐀 𝐋 𝐄 𝐀 𝐍 𝐄

he brought something softer, sweeter out of her—the twinkling remnants of a person she was, perhaps, supposed to be. not a drow raised by a lolth-sworn spy—ever-scheming, trusting no one—but a dark elf who had a place on the surface that wasn't hiding deep in the forest.

[tpwk-formula1]

Lando Norris, Thin Crust, Red Sauce,Pineapple, BBQ Chicken , Vodka redbull, Sparkling Water, Coke, Yes

With a plus-size reader, if you can. I fear there's not many plus-size fics out there with lando. If you could please and thank you. 🧙‍♀️

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

thin crust brother's best friend red sauce rough sex pineapple "Look so pretty wrapped around my cock" bbq chicken “Gonna let me cum in you? I know you wanna have my baby” vodka redbull squirting sparkling water spitting coke spanking dessert yes served by Lando Norris

Lando x Plus size Fewtrell! reader

TW unprotected sex, squirting, spanking, creampie, rough Lando, talks of insecurities

WC 1600+

Y/N POV

"Love, I'm not feeling the best. I think I'm gonna stay in for the day," I tell Lando softly while he was talking to my brother about the plans for today.

"You were okay this morning, what's going on? What are you feeling?" Lando asks clearly getting worried.

"It's nothing major just think I ate the wrong thing this morning," I tell him softly not wanting the whole house to hear the conversation.

"Do you need us to get you anything?" Max asked clearly being worried. I just shake my head no before turning on my foot and heading towards Lando and I's room that we have been sharing while here on Holiday for summer break.

"Hey love, what's really going on? I can see this perplexed look on your face clearly showing me that you're overthinking something," Lando asks me after he had followed me into our room.

"No I promise I'm just having tummy issues," I continue to uphold the lie. Said lie falling from my lips far easier than it should, but I was used to faking illness to get out of something.

"Love, drop the act," Lando says softly making me groan at being caught.

"Lando, I- um- I'm just a little worried about the hike to the clay. I'm not sure I'll be able to do it as fast as the rest of you guys. Don't wanna hold you back," I tell Lando softly making his face drop in realization.

"Baby, no one cares if we have to take it slow," Lando tells me making me groan and shake my head.

"You don't get it love, you're an athlete surrounded by other athletes, your 'take it slow' is basically my sprinting," I tell him softly trying to hold back tears.

"i'm sorry. Maybe I'm not the best fit person for your lifestyle," I add softly watching Lando's face snap up and turn into a dark expression.

"Hey Max I think I'm gonna stay back with Y/N and take care of her," Lando walks to the bedroom door where he opens it and shouts to my brother.

"Okay! Maybe we can go again tomorrow if Y/N is up for it," Max shouts back before Lando is closing the door and striding towards me.

"Do not turn this into our breakup. As a couple it is our job to figure out how to make our lifestyles mesh. I don't give a fuck if you're not some Olympic athlete, I don't care if a one mile walk took us 100 years to complete, that's 100 years spent with the love of my life, so I'll be fucking damned if you think you're not 'good enough' to be with me," Lando stays while striding closer to me.

"Lan, I just think you might be happier with someone who can keep up with you and your friends," I tell him softly. I wasn't trying to argue and I sure as hell don't want to break up but it's a tough conversation we need to have.

"I've grown up with you and Max our entire life, I'm used to walking in the back with you, not because I was that slow but because even at 12 I genuinely liked you and any time I could spend with you I would," Lando tells me making me think back to when we were younger and he really would walk in the back of the pack with me always the last two to arrive. Even having Lando defend me a few times against my brother and his teasing words.

"I'm sorry I've just really been in my head a lot lately," I tell him softly making him hum and pull me into his arms.

"I know I could tell, but I thought it was cause you were stressed with work not because you had been stressing about our relationship," Lando tells me softly before placing a kiss on my forehead.

"I'm sorry for not talking to you sooner. I was just embarrassed," I admit making Lando scoff.

"I'm embarrassed that my own girlfriend was too worried to talk to me about what was bothering her pretty little mind," Lando tells me while kissing my forehead and leading us to the bed where we climb into it and throw on a random movie to watch.

Midway through the second movie Lando leans down and places a kiss on my lips and climbs into my lap.

"Lando, right now?" I questioned in a hushed tone as if anyone was still home.

"No one is here, and I need to show you who you belong to," Lando tells me while starting to pull his shirt over his head leaving me to start at his tanned chest.

Once Lando had discarded his shirt somewhere in the room he made quick work of pulling off my shirt leaving us both completely bare from the waist up.

"Fuck, love these tits so much," Lando mumbled before leaning down and sucking one of my nipples into his mouth.

"Oh, Lan," I moan softly while arching my back bringing my tits even closer to his face.

Lando pulls away and roughly flips me onto my stomach where he pulls me up by the hips so I was presenting myself to him. I was only wearing a flimsy pair of sleep shorts I had thrown on a little bit ago to get more comfortable. Lando just yanks them down my legs and lets the pool at my knees where he starts slapping my ass.

"Ow, what is that for," I whine when I feel the continued spanking.

"You need to realize how fucking beautiful you are. I'm not gonna let you walk around thinking you're anything less than perfect. So everytime you sit down for the next day, you will be reminded," lando explains with a cocky smirk.

Once Lando had reddened my ass to his liking hi quickly yanks his briefs down before roughly burying his cock into my pussy and giving me no time to adjust before he is roughly thrusting into my sopping wet pussy.

"Look so pretty wrapped around my cock," Lando groans while still keeping the brutal pace.

"So good, Lan," I whine burying my face into the pillow to try and muffle my moans but lando roughly grips on my hair and pulls me face up.

"I wanna hear your screams," Lando tells me while thrusting harder and faster to try and pull the loudest noises from me.

"Fuck," I scream out when Lando continuously hits my G-spot only bringing me closer to cumming.

"Cum for me," Lando groans when he feels my pussy clenching around his cock in anticipation.

I let go almost instantly cumming all over Lando's cock and squirting all over the bedspread.

"Fuck such a messy girl," Lando groans while helping me ride out my orgasm before he picks up the pace again.

"God, I love when you get like this," Lando groans.

Lando pulls out suddenly before he flips me over onto my back and roughly starts fucking me in missionary.

"Fuck Lando," I scream at the new angle not fully prepared for the way I was feeling Lando.

In the midst of my loud moans, I feel Lando lean down over my face before roughly spitting in my mouth. Most of it went straight down my throat but some of it sprayed my face making me whimper slightly.

"Fuck, I love seeing your tears, the way you take my cock, opening your mouth like a good slut to take my spit, fuck you were made for me," Lando groans before starting to place with my sensitive clit again.

"You're gonna cum with me this time," Lando groans while speeding up his actions making me feel the build-up of my orgasm again.

"I'm gonna cum," I warn Lando knowing I wasn't gonna be able to hold back much longer reaching the point of no return far quicker than I would have liked.

“Gonna let me cum in you? I know you wanna have my baby,” Lando groans out.

"Yes, fill me up Lando, wanna have your baby," I beg desperate to cum again.

"Cum with me," Lando groans before his hips started to falter from their rough thrusting before I feel his cum start to paint my walls making me cry out in another squirting orgasm.

"Fuck," I scream as I feel my squirt spray all over Lando and I making a proper mess out of our bedding.

When Lando and I finally come down from the highs of our pleasure Lando is softly pulling out of my pussy before watching his cum leak from my gaping pussy with a smirk on his face.

"God, I love making you mine," Lando groans before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

"So good," I mumble out before turning into Lando's chest for comfort.

"Did so well, gonna have to clean this up before everyone gets home," Lando tells me with a smirk on his face making me groan in embarrassment.

Lando quickly got out of bed before turning the bath on where he let it fill up before coming to get me and he gently placed me in the bath before going into the room again to clean up the bedding so we had fresh sheets for when everyone arrived back.

After about 10 minutes Lando climbs into the bath me, letting my beck rest against his chest.

"I cleaned up all the evidence of how messy you get for me," Lando tells me with a smirk clearly laced in his voice. I just groan and try to hide my face in his neck while he just laughs.

"On a real note though, next time you feel like that promise me you'll talk to me," Lando tells me softly making me turn my head to face him.

"I promise," I tell him softly before leaning up and placing a kiss on his lips.

"i love you," I tell him softly making him smile before he tells me he loves me too.

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm so sorry to everyone that I freaked out with the last post, I was trying so hard not to 😭 I have that like instant fear as soon as I see "we need to talk" or something in the same vein. I always think it's something bad.

This isn't bad, at least depending on how your perspective I guess.

So...I'm having thoughts about CRCB in October. I planned out posting schedules for Kyletober and CRCB and my Patreon stuff and it's going to basically be a post every day, sometimes multiple in multiple places.

That's a lot.

So, I am set on doing Kyletober since all of the fics are already written, but I was planning on continuing CRCB during October as well. But...I think I need a little break from CRCB. It's been about eight months of posting almost every single week and it's been a lot. I'm struggling with chapters right now and with work it's vastly limiting the time I have to write and focus on things and I'm kind of burning out right now.

So, what I wanted to discuss was potentially putting CRCB on hold for October while I focus on Kyletober and everything involved with that. Trying to do both is a lot and I'm not sure I can handle all of it, plus life, plus work.

I was planning on not necessarily putting CRCB on hold, but doing more of a "whenever I can/am inspired" random posting chapters kind of like I did in the beginning when I first started writing the fic, in November/December because those are very busy months and I will be dead tired from work and just general life.

I think I might still do that for November/December and possibly into the new year since there's no way the fic will be finished even if I posted every week until the end of December.

BUT

That's something I'll think about and make a decision on later.

Right now, my thought is...would you hate me if I put CRCB on pause in October? IF I do, I promise I won't end Chapter 39 on a cliffhanger. I wasn't planning on it anyway, but I promise I won't end it on a cliffhanger if I decide not to post any chapters in October.

That way if I do put it on pause, then I can not focus on it for a bit and give my brain a refresh, and I can also focus all my energy on Kyletober.

So yeah, it's going to be a lot doing both at the same time, and honestly I'm ready for a little break from CRCB. It's been going for a long time and it's a lot of words to get out in a week. I've been super stressed lately and I'm just struggling a lot trying to get through chapters.

So yeah. That's basically the dilemma here and the discussion to be had. I know y'all will tell me it's my blog and I can do whatever I want, but I would like opinions on it. Are y'all okay with me putting CRCB on hold to focus on Kyletober? Then pick it back up for probably just whenever I can chapter updates for the rest of the year? In January things will calm down and I'll have more time to relax and write and maybe get close to finishing the story. Plus I know a lot of my readers will be busy the next three months with the holidays and vacations and family and school and all of that, so you won't have to worry about getting behind and having to catch up with a bunch of chapters.

So...let me know...

[typing-catastrophe]

I have been so cooked for this man lately that I need to talk about him— I genuinely think that with a ADHD/autism/AuDHD partner Ford takes notes on your stims and quirks, even before any serious relationship. Just little things like “waves hands when excited :)” and “prefers baggy sweaters” just like a little way of understanding you better 🥺💖

yesss definitely! as an AuDHDer who stims a lot myself, this is everything!! jfskhfshsk

--------------------------------------------------

"Aaaahhhhh oh myy-" the rest of what you were saying was incomprehensible because the words slurred together in an excited squeal. A gleeful expression upon your face, you waved and shook your hands in front of your body, then pressed them over your mouth, to stifle another squeal.

Ford smiled to himself as he watched you from the other side of the room, where he propped his notebook open to scribble something down.

"Heeyyyyy Grunkle Ford, watcha got there?" Mabel's voice rang out right beside him.

He snapped the book shut and whipped his head around.

"Mabel!"

"Waves hands when excited." she cited what she had just read, "Were you talking about-"

"No, I was certainly not!" Ford said, while his cheeks started to turn a deep red colour.

"Are you suuuure? Because to me it looks like you diiiid." she said, a cheeky grin on her face and dragging some of the vowels.

"You are mistaken, dear child. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do." he excused himself and stood up, holding the notebook close to him.

Without letting her get another word in, he moved past her and made his way into his study.

There, he propped open the notebook to the page he'd just added a new note onto.

- likes to hum when no one is around - seems to prefer more loose fitting clothes. possibly because the don't restrict movement as much - will unconsciously play and fidget with any jewellery they're wearing - sorts and eats their food in a particular order - would rather not eat at all than something not appealing - skin irritating clothing causes great discomfort. remove tags!! - wants to talk but holds back. encouraging them has positive effect - avoids eye contact but will look at faces when the person isn't looking at them - do not touch without warning and do not force contact! expressed great discomfort to me after being forced to physical contact by someone else - repeating phrases and noises (quite endearing) - easily startled by sudden and loud noises, as well as irritated by high pitched ones, almost too quite to hear - shows behaviours similar to felines. has stated that they would be delighted to posses the ability to purr (he would be delighted too)

Ford smiled as he looked up and leaned back. He really hoped Mabel hadn't seen too much, otherwise she might figure out how interested in you he really was. And we wasn't sure if he was ready for that.

For now he would be very much content continuing to dreamily gaze over at you and notice all the little things, so he could understand you better.

Maybe one day he could work up the courage to ask you out.

-------------------------------------------------- thank you for reading <3 reblogs are appreciated

[hollowtones]

my month-late PAX West post (& a catalogue of some things I saw and did and bought in September / late August)

PAX West was very fun this year. It was my first ever PAX and it was my first convention at all in maybe a decade. Any excuse to see friends is a good one & I love hanging out with the RTVS crew whenever I have the time and money to travel. ^_^ I even got to see some friends I've never seen in person before!!! (Thank you to Jill and Evan for the "Petal Crash" pin & thank you to Taxi for stealing my name tag by accident.)

I am very shy, and I have very severe social anxiety that causes me a lot of problems in my day-to-day life, so I almost didn't go to the RTVS meetup. People there were very sweet, though, so I'm glad I did. It feels very heartening to have people come up to you and tell you what the things you've made have meant to them. It was very hard to not cry. LOL

If you stopped by to say hi, thank you very much. I've been thinking about it through all of September and smiling a lot about it. ^_^

The rest of this post is largely pics of things Puzz and I picked up for ourselves. (And a little bit of talking about some other things we did.) I thought it would be fun to catalogue them. I tend to be a little thrifty, so I got to splurge on my wife. LOL

These were mostly things we got for Puzz because I didn't want to worry about lugging things home in a suitcase. But she keeps telling me they're our things, which makes me smile every time I think about it. Some of the pins are for me. I'd like to put them on my backpack... Hopefully they don't fall off. Jackie and Dodogama are friends.

The "Chicory" bag is a bit of a funny story. Puzz and I saw the "Beastieball" booth in the corner of the indie section. Very fun demo. Very cute booth. They have cool merch! I thought I saw Lena Raine working the booth, and I got really shy & nervous about making a poor impression, so I just kind of hid behind my partner. (I wish I had said hi, in retrospect... but we live and we learn...) So we just kind of shuffle off to the merch desk and talk to a very nice man there while we pick up some things. I work up the guts to say that I really like these games and that they mean a lot to me!! The guy says, well thank you, that means a lot to me and the team. Wow! Real swell guy, I'm thinking to myself. A day or two later Puzz and I are out to lunch with some friends and I just suddenly go eyes wide & mouth agape because I put two and two together in my head and realize Oh holy shit that was Greg Lobanov wasn't it. LOL

Puzz found a cheap copy of "999: 9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors" for the DS at a retro game store's pop-up. They also had "A Bug's Life" for Game Boy Colour and a strategy guide for "Gex 3", both of which I wish I had picked up.

Mr. Basculin was a gift from Jake. Good news! Mr. Basculin is still alive.

This is all stuff that was given to me as gifts. (Aside from the con badges. They make you pay for those.) You've probably already seen the Bibi that Jake made me. "Chicken Run" was also from him. "Zapper" was from Puzz and the Gumby game (& the Bad Boe sticker) was from Scorpy. These games fuckin suck asshole!!!!!!!!! I'm obsessed with them & I'll cherish them forever. I also got a little rock and a human dog keychain.

I think Scorpy said a fan gave this to him at PAX East to pass to me eventually. I'm having a hard time reading the @ on it, but on the off-chance you see this: thank you so much. Every time I think about it I get a little teary-eyed. I want to get myself a little picture frame for it. (This is the first time someone's given me fanart like this before, and it made me very emotional. LOL)

Puzz and I only got 2-day passes for PAX, so we spent the rest of our time in Seattle hanging out with friends and seeing the sights. I don't feel like digging all the photos out right now, but we went to a really fucking nice jazz club (Dimitriou's Jazz Alley - great ambience, really good food, we saw Keiko Matsui live which was life-changing), we visited MoPOP (I hadn't been in years! It was alright! Puzz had some capital-t Thoughts about the whole place which was fun to listen to!), we rode the trains, I got a big bag of Dicks, we walked around downtown. There was this really nice coffee shop that I keep having dreams about, so I hope I can go back to Seattle soon. (Or at least eventually, next year.) Then we went to Portland for a day to say hi to a friend because the state was nearby.

Then we went back to Puzz's place in California. Then there was a major heatwave & a bunch of wildfires nearby... So we didn't have the chance to get out much in September. But that's okay. We've both been tired lately & I think we both badly needed some dedicated Not Doing Things time. It's just a shame that it was enforced by Dangerous Weather Conditions.

We got to visit some local friends and I got to try out more Bog-Standard Mediocre American Food. (Dunkin Donuts is just Tim Hortons. Olive Garden is kind of scary but the salad was really good and the breadsticks were fine. I had a middling hamburger from Jack In The Box tonight. Their milkshake was very good. I'm sure I'm forgetting others.) I went to a Macy's for the first time and the layout of the store made me have a panic attack. We went for nice walks and saw lots of nice critters and plants. I got to swim! I watched a mediocre PlayStation presentation! I turned 30 years old! Puzz took me to a very fancy and really nice Italian place for my birthday, in case you were worried that I was only eating garbage here. LOL

We got a lot of books.

Maybe too many. Also a Miles Davis vinyl for myself & some Gunpla as an early birthday gift for Puzz. And also the cookbook was a gift from family. But I'm very excited to tuck into more of these, hopefully soon. Some were for me and some were for Puzz but knowing us we're going to go "hey, I liked this one, you check it out" or "hey, I didn't like this one, but maybe you will" for a lot of them. I'm gonna start with "Annihilation" and the game essays book. ("House of Leaves" is a second copy for us, because my copy was originally Puzz's and I wanted them to be able to read it too.) I don't have room in my bags for much more than what I came here with, so we're gonna ship some of the books to each other when we're done reading.

It's been a very nice month... I feel very thankful to have a life full of love like this. I don't think I have anything else to add to this post! Thanks for reading.

[kumkaniudaku]

Stay A While (3)

Summary: Terry get's a lesson in love and shares it with Patrice.

Pairing: Terry Richmond x Black!OC

Word Count: 5,049

Part: 3 of ??

Warnings: Smut (18+)

One. Two.

"Well, James, how you been?" 

"Honestly, Pop. I don't know where to start." 

Wooden spoons banged and scraped across pots on the stove while Marvin scooped red beans and rice into a small ceramic bowl. He'd long shed his work coveralls for an open flannel shirt and khakis to spend some quality time with his only son. 

James was their shared middle name in a long line of Richmond men dating back to their family migration from New Orleans to Fayetteville in the 50s. Marvin was a proud, honorable man. He never said a bad word about anybody, and no one had a bad word to say about him. He taught Terry how to play football, make a pot of dirty rice to perfection, and the importance of ensuring a lady never touched a doorhandle in his presence. He was the reason Terry joined the Marine Corps after a career in the NFL looked unlikely. He was the reason his boy spoke softly and carried a big stick. And he was one of only two people Terry trusted with his heart. 

With two bowls and spoons on a serving tray, Marvin made his way to the kitchen table. He stopped short to get a good look at his son with blue green eyes even more captivating than Terry's. He noted the new frown lines developing on his brow and the lone grey hair sprouting in his goatee. His boy was stressed and confused. He didn't need a conversation to tell him that but welcomed it anyway. 

After sliding one bowl across the table, he took a seat with his signature grunt. "Start at the top. Plenty of time still left in the day." 

Terry quietly thanked his father for his generosity and avoided the question by eating the first bite of his meal. They ate in silence for several seconds until Terry took a deep breath. 

"I think I've been okay. More ups than downs lately, but the downs are pretty damn low. I'm having a tough time sleeping. I'm barely working. I feel like a burden for Treece more than I feel like a man who can actually do something for her." 

"Being a man is about more than what you can do." 

"Yeah, but…" Terry trailed off, trying to gather his thoughts. "It's just - things weren't supposed to be this hard. I gave this country a lot of my time, and I guess I expected to say my goodbyes and roll into my next chapter. Now, my plan b needs a plan b, and I'm out of options." 

"You're not out of options. You don't like askin' for help. Proud like your grandaddy." 

"And you too." 

Marvin chuckled and shook his head as he took another spoonful of food.  "This ain't about me."

The two men shared a laugh, their voices sounding nearly identical as they bounced off the walls. He was the spitting image of his father, both in stature and moral compass. 

"What do you need, James?" Marvin had grown serious again, making Terry avert his eyes to focus on his food. "I'll save you the stress of asking, but you gotta tell me what I need to offer. Is it money?"

"Not much. Enough to pay some bills until the end of the month, and I can have it back to you. I think I have a shot at this job on base if I can get through the second interview."

"How you getting back and forth? I know y'all do the Lyft and Ubom thing these days. Ridin' around with strangers like we didn't spend a whole decade tell y'all not to." 

Terry laughed. "It's Uber, Pop. But, no. Treece is out for the summer, so I'm…using her car when I need it. I don't wanna take advantage of her." 

"Those some of the bills you need help paying?" Marvin's question was answered with a silent head nod and eyes filled with shame. He softened his voice as he reached into his wallet for the cash he had on hand. "It's what you're supposed to do. Ain't no shame. That money is for yourself. Give me til tomorrow afternoon to have more. Five grand enough?" 

"Ah, Pop, I don-" 

"We didn't work as hard as we did for nothing. Plus, it's your college fund money we never withdrew. You're lucky your mother hasn't used it for renovations. She's been eyeing your sister's old room for an indoor she-shed or whatever the hell it's called." 

Marvin sounded exasperated by the concept of his wife's latest project, which amused Terry. They hadn't changed since the day he left. They were just two people who had been in love since the day they met and remained committed to supporting each other through the ebbs and flows of life. 

Standing from the kitchen table, Marvin shuffled around the corner to the garage entrance and returned with a ring of keys and a pile of mail. He tossed them at Terry and returned to his seat. 

"What's this?" 

"Keys to GMC outside. Take it. You might need to run it for a little bit and change the oil, but it works fine. The rest is your mail." Terry opened his mouth to protest and received a glare from his father in return. "I gave you my best speech about askin' for help, and here you go ruining things. Take the truck before I tell your mama."

"Alright, alright," Terry laughed as he raised his hands. "I love you, Pop." 

"Love you, man. I'm proud of you." Not ones for the warm fuzzies of hugs, the two extended their arms across the table for a quick fist bump before returning to their meals. Marvin let his son eat in peace for a few moments before the corner of his lips curled in a knowing smile. "So…Patrice Ellis, huh? That little love letter you wrote in 10th grade finally coming true?" 

"Pop." 

"Ah, come on. It's alright to be in love, son. She's a good girl. Got good folks, too. What's the holdup?" 

In love? The more Terry attempted to negotiate the gravity of the phrase within himself, the more he had to reckon with the idea that his father may not be that far off base.

Terry slowed his eating and looked at his father for help. "You think I'm in love?" 

"Oh, I know you are. You didn't come back to Fayetteville for me, did you?" 

"How would I know, though? How did you know?" 

Marvin stopped eating to sit back in his chair. A fond smile crossed his face as he thought of his younger years. 

"I knew I was in love when I wanted to show up every day and do the work to be with her. It didn't matter if she pissed me off or if we disagreed about decisions. At the end of every day, I can look at her and know I'm where I want to be forever. Plus, I still get a little fired up when she walks through the door all these years later. I ain't much to look at, but your mother is…" 

Marvin let his sentence drop to whistle at the mention of his wife. Terry pretended to take exception but eventually laughed at his father's antics. He quickly relaxed into a contemplative state. 

"I wanna be the best I can for her," he spoke softly. "I get…sad when she's gone for too long. Sometimes, I find myself forcing conversation just to make her look at me because the light in her eyes is the only thing keeping me grounded most days. What does that mean?" 

"You don't need me to answer that, son. Go with what you know." 

Before Terry could seek more advice, the mechanical roar of the garage door made Marvin nearly spring out of his seat to greet his one true love. 

Outside, Patrice was nearly doubled over from laughter in the front seat. 

Diedra "DeeDee" Richmond was the quintessential Southern black woman. Like a prim and proper belle, she wore her color-treated blonde hair big to match an even bigger personality.  She wore heels with every outfit and never left the house without earrings, but she could also drink and cuss like a sailor. 

When she offered Patrice the chance to tag along for her monthly Sister Circle meeting, there was no chance she'd miss the opportunity to ditch Terry and kick it with the upper crust of Black women. 

"And, girl, Rita thinks we can't tell that she took every one of those appetizers out of the damn freezer section. At least go to the Publix bakery. Finger sandwiches ain't that expensive." 

Amid their gossip session, the garage door's chime caught Dee Dee's attention, effectively ending her one-woman show in favor of giving her husband the eye. Behind him, Terry stood with a nervous smile and puppy dog eyes that he directed at Patrice. 

"Marry a Richmond, child. You'll never lift a finger for the rest of your life. Lord knows I love me some him. Hey, baby!" DeeDee advised as she watched Marvin nearly float to the driver's side to open her door. 

Patrice watched Marvin and DeeDee fawn over each other like teenage lovers until the faint pop of her door opening brought her back to life. 

Terry stood in the gap with his hand out to offer assistance. She accepted without protest, letting him gently pull her from the passenger side with her bags in tow and close the door behind her.

"I missed you." 

Terry's admission came in a sweet voice as he dipped his head to place two chaste kisses on Patrice's lips. Only the knowledge of his parents 10 feet away kept her from turning an innocent display of affection into something vulgar. 

Patrice chased his lips once he pulled away, earning a deep chuckle that vibrated her chest. 

"We kissing in front of the parents now?" 

"Too much," he asked, suddenly embarrassed. 

She used her thumb to wipe lip gloss from his bottom lip before rising to her tip toes to kiss his nose. "No. You're perfect." 

Dee Dee and Marvin watched the young couple giggle at nothing in particular with broad smiles and full hearts. 

"Treece, when's the last time you had some of my red beans and rice?" 

Marvin's question made both of them jump like children caught in the act with the realization that they weren't alone. 

"Way too long," Patrice answered, her stomach almost growling at the mention. 

"Then have dinner with us. We'd love to have you." 

Patrice looked toward Terry for confirmation, making Dee Dee cackle as she started up the stairs into her home. "Child, forget him. Terrence don't run nothing 'round here! Come get this food."

Terry's eyes grew wide at his mother's dismissal while Patrice dissolved into an uncontrollable fit of laughter at his expense on her way into the house. 

"Oh, that's funny," he asked, following her lead. "That's the last time I let y'all hang out unsupervised." 

Three extra hours at Terry's parents' house wasn't enough for the tandem to abandon their new night routine. 

Patrice stood at her bathroom sink, scrubbing the day from her face while Terry made himself comfortable on her closed toilet lid. Sometimes, he read something from Patrice's bookshelf, both preferring to simply exist in the same room. Other times, he watched baseball on his phone and attempted to provide color commentary despite Patrice not showing interest. This time, though, he sat with relaxed shoulders and low eyes while she moved through her beauty routine. 

Something about the sleepytime body wash had him laser-focused on how her legs looked a mile long beneath her nightshirt, oiled to perfection and glistening under the warm vanity lights. He wanted to reach out and touch her. Maybe pull her closer by her thighs and whisper every single nasty thought on his mind below her navel until she promised never to leave his side. 

But, he shook his inner man loose and leaned forward to re-engage with her as she called his name. 

"You know you should use a gentle exfoliant every once in a while. It'll help your breakouts. Use some of my sunscreen, too. It's dangerous for you to let the sun hit your face with no protection."

Blah, blah, blah. Everything she said sounded like a chorus of 1000 angels to him. She could've revealed the cure to cancer, and he would be too lovestruck to notice. 

Knowing his restraint was dwindling, he stood abruptly and stretched his arms above his head with a yawn as she added moisturizer to her face.

Patrice watched him take up space behind her through the mirror, shifting so he could leave something to remember him by on her shoulder and neck. 

"Good night," he spoke between kisses, the words muffled against her skin. 

"Already? It's not that late, is it?" 

"I promised Corey I'd help him with football practice at Francis tomorrow morning."

"He'll run you ragged if you don't speak up." 

"I'll speak up. I promise." 

Using what little space she had, Patrice turned to rest her backside on the counter and face Terry. She used her index finger to hook his gold herringbone chain and bring him down for a kiss. Or kisses. It'd been so long since they could have each other in this way. Time and experience, both together and separately, had them maneuvering like professionals. Each kiss was teasing and sensual in equal measure. A tangible mastery of retreating and aggression made the pursuit of one another worth the wait. 

They'd lost track of their exhibition until Terry's phone buzzing against the toilet seat jolted them back into reality.

Patrice flattened her palms against his chest to create some separation and end what would surely turn into blurred lines if they weren't careful. "Good night, TJ.  Grab that exfoliant out of my shower before you leave. It's in the caddie." 

Terry took the gentle redirection in stride, smiling at her through the mirror before turning to do as she had asked. Patrice used what little focus she could muster to secure her headscarf to her head, desperate to extend her box braids for one more week. 

"What's this?" 

"What's what?" She didn't bother to look away from her task until the low hum of her vibrator caught her attention. She whipped her body around, too stunned to reach for the bright pink toy that had Terry smirking as he examined its buttons. "That is my personal property for personal and private use." 

"When's the last time you used it?" 

"It's been a while. A month or so." Mostly true. She couldn't say she hadn't thought about it more recently.

"Since I've been here?" 

She shrugged. "Kinda hard to get comfortable when there's a person on the other side of the wall." 

The mere sound of the only thing to touch her in two years made the hair on her arms stand at attention. Her eyes darted between the toy and Terry, who made himself familiar with each speed and pattern, cycling through dirty thoughts and intrigue as he held the device against his arm to get a feel for the intensity, 

Setting one? Bearable. A softball. Setting three? Maybe she'd call out his name from the pleasure? Setting seven? Surely, she'd hang on to him like a wet t-shirt on a Playboy model while she rode the crest of her orgasm. 

The possibilities excited him to no end. He needed to test each and every theory.

In two clicks, he returned the toy to its original setting and then off completely, holding it in one hand while taking slow steps to close the gap between him and the only person on his mind. 

She shifted her weight nervously as he approached, unsure how to respond until he towered over her with a look she knew all too well. 

Desire. 

Their senses were heightened. Everything felt surreal, almost as if one misstep could send them flying through a portal back to a more disappointing reality. 

Terry could smell the faint hint of mint on Patrice's breath before dipping his head to nip at her bottom lip with his teeth. She responded like he knew she would by making him work for his prize. Patrice never let him intimidate her. Not for their first time together all those years ago, certainly not now. 

He chuckled before leaning in again, this time leaving a trail of short kisses from her jaw to her clavicle. He inhaled deeply, breathing in vanilla and the subtle spice of his cologne from moments earlier.

Suddenly, Patrice felt weightless. Her feet dangled briefly and without warning as Terry took her from standing to sitting on the cold, hard counter before she could protest. 

Patrice fought for stability, using the peaks and valleys across the expanse of his muscled arms as her anchor in the dizzying experience that was his affection. Her lips parted to draw in sharp breaths and release airy sighs of approval in a feeble attempt to remain present. At the same time, he kissed his appreciation wherever his lips saw fit. Her legs acted under their own power to spread wider and make room for whatever came next. 

Her hands left a trail of tingles as she dragged them from his arms to the back of his head, down the sides of his face, over his tank top, between his pecs, and, finally, into the waistband of his shorts. 

Surprised by her touch, he lurched forward to grab her wrist. "Not this time," he whispered, unsure he meant what he was saying. 

Patrice nodded in understanding, earning a sloppy kiss for her obedience. 

There was no discerning where his mouth ended, and hers began. They were on one accord, hungrily tasting, exploring, and consuming each other without holding back. 

Then, the low hum returned. This time, it was closer than Patrice remembered. 

Cold silicone soon caressed her inner thigh. A low whimper escaped past her lips as she made eye contact with Terry. He leaned close enough to speak against her mouth. 

"You trust me?" 

"Mhmm," she answered, fighting to keep her eyes open as he moved further up her leg. 

"Let me take care of you, then. Take these off for me." 

Trembling fingers latched onto her boyshorts, pushing them to mid-thigh for Terry to take care of the rest. As quickly as he was gone, he'd returned for another taste of her tongue. Languid and unhurried, he used the time to relax her while slowly inching the vibrator to her center. 

Initial contact made her hips buck forward, and her head softly hit the mirror behind her. Terry chased her with sloppy kisses at the base of her neck. 

The slow and steady setting was enough to get her wet and sticky. Terry'd be lying if he said the thought alone didn't have him wanting to renege on his early statement and dive in with reckless abandon. But, he remained steadfast in his pursuit of her pleasure. 

Once the initial shock had worn off, Patrice ground her hips slowly, making small circles while the vibration worked to settle her nerves. Terry took a break from leaving praises in the form of kisses on her throat to smile at his girl. 

"You're beautiful. You know that?"

She gripped his chin and pulled him closer for a fiery kiss that he let her lead. "Yeah. But, I love to hear you say it." 

"Good," he answered, grinning at her confidence as he upped the intensity on her vibrator. Her eyes clamped shut as her entire body tensed. "Stay with me." 

A deep, steadying breath turned into a silent scream as Patrice gave in to the natural urge to hold her breath. Terry used his free hand to sneak up her tank top and grope one breast while pressing his lips to her ear. 

"Breathe, baby. In and out." He modeled the behavior until she found the strength to match his tempo. "There you go. You feel good?" 

"Yes, yes," she whisper-chanted to the ceiling, her head thrown back in unimaginable euphoria. 

"I want you to feel this good every day. You deserve it, right?" 

A twisting, turning feeling at the pit of her stomach forced her to draw in a deep breath to steady herself. Her answer came in a soft moan. "Right." 

"Damn right." Pressing his forehead to hers, he zeroed in on each of her features twisted in unthinkable pleasure. 

She kept her mouth open to sigh and moan as she saw fit. Her nostrils flared in a rhythm as she tried to force herself to breathe through every peak and valley of the moment. Her brows were knitted, and her eyes closed as if she were too afraid to look at him. He wondered what she was thinking. 

Did she want him inside of her as much as he wanted the same for himself? Was she yearning for more pressure? Could she feel how much he loved her?

"Don't get quiet on me. I want everything. Let 'em hear you. You need more?" 

A quick glance down helped him reposition the vibrator on her already sensitive bud, earning a guttural curse as appreciation for his good deed. 

"Fuck! Don't move. Please don't move." 

Terry obliged for the moment, too entranced by his view of her flower on full display for his viewing pleasure. Glistening. Wet. Beautiful. Appetizing like nothing he'd ever seen before. He pulled the toy away and replaced its presence with his thumb. Slow circles and firm pressure made her want to close her legs to escape the overwhelming stimulation, but her attempt was futile. She was at his mercy. 

"Damn," he whispered to himself, enamored by the way her body reacted to his touch. 

Every revolution around her clit brought with it more wetness at her entrance and indentations in his arms from her nails gripping for dear life. 

It wasn't enough to touch her. He needed to taste. 

Using his middle and ring fingers, he teased his introduction with gentle brushes against her inner lips. She keened for more against his mouth as she held his face close. He granted her wish and pushed into her slowly, immediately feeling her warmth envelop his long digits. 

Their mouths hung open, breaths being traded between the two as he set a slow pace. Not enough to bring forth a release. Just enough for Terry to get what he came for. 

Removing his fingers left him with a coating of clear arousal nearly dripping to his knuckles. Patrice watched him as he smirked at the sight, examining it like a jeweler appraising precious diamonds. 

When he'd seen enough, he put both fingers into his mouth and closed his eyes to savor the taste. Patrice's mouth hung open as if waiting for her turn to experience the wonders of her juices. 

Had she closed her eyes for even a second, she would have missed Terry extending his tongue from his mouth to allow a mixture of his saliva and her essence the chance to slide from his tongue in anticipation of a new host. 

Something profound and hungry within her made her lean her head back and hold her tongue out to receive all that he had to give. It excited her, delighted her, and aroused her like never before.

Like a lewd work of art, spit connected their tongues in what would otherwise be seen as an infraction among more proper circles. But fuckin' wasn't proper, and all forms of affection were welcomed in their home. 

Almost immediately, Terry rushed to reward her with a wild and frenzied kiss that nearly surprised him. 

Primal. Carnal. Intense. Fucking disgusting. He loved every minute of it.

The race was on. Terry kept their lips connected as he returned the vibrator to her clit, dialing up the settings to a level below their max. 

Patrice's moans and his couldn't be distinguished from one another. Her hips bucked wildly. Her fingernails left marks in their wake as they scratched at his arms and back. Her body twitched and seized in anticipation of the inevitable. 

"Oh my - fuck!" Satisfied tears slid from the corners of her eyes and down her cheeks to her man's awaiting lips. "Terrence!" 

Terry remained locked in. A man possessed. A one-track mind focused on nothing other than completing the mission. 

The first stage of her orgasm came without a warning. Heat washed over her as if she'd stepped outside at high noon, making her skin almost unbearable to live in. Her toes curled, her voice caught in her throat despite the intense desire to release a scream from the depths of her soul into the atmosphere. 

She thanked Terry and God in Heaven for blessing her with the opportunity to touch the moon and the stars without ever leaving her home. Terry used his free hand to grip and massage her thighs, knowing that the best was yet to come. 

Patrice's voice began to climb as the main event approached. Shallow breaths gave way to loud gasps for air, which came rapidly while she did the same. She was suspended in a beautiful bliss and already sad about the prospect of coming down. 

Her lover reveled in the opportunity to see her unraveling at the seams. 

"I'll always come back to you, beautiful. No matter what, okay? Look at me." His request earned intense focus from Patrice under hooded eyes. "You're so pretty. Say it back to me. Tell me you're pretty."

"I'm so pretty!" Impending release sent all her words out in one breathless sentence. 

He smiled at her compliance. "I know you're close. Hold my hand."

Her fingers scrambled against the counter, filling the spaces between his fingers and gripping with enough force to turn her knuckles a lighter shade of brown. 

"That's my girl. I love you," was all he could manage before Patrice let out something akin to a squeal, turning his declaration into background fodder. 

Sensitive, overstimulated, and completely spent, the after-effects of her release had her panting to recover. Her ears rang with a heady feeling that could only be compared to a few puffs of homegrown bud. 

Terry held her through it all, propping her up while her body sagged against him for stability. He put aside the vibrator to run his palms up and down her legs while he showered her temple with whispered praises and sweet kisses. 

He waited until her breathing was even before gingerly pressing his forehead to hers. "You good?" 

His smirk was incredibly smug. He was proud of himself, and for good reason. She was open to giving credit where credit was due. 

"You can never leave this house without me again. I hope you're happy." 

"That's the whole point. My granny taught me some things during them summers down in New Orleans, you know?" 

"Oh, so this is some magic shit?" 

"Family business, baby. Gotta have the last name to find out." A playful glint in his eyes and a squeeze to her waist made Patrice's stomach feel butterflies that she thought would never return. Terry tapped her nose with his index finger and stepped back. "Stay put. I'll clean you up." 

Patrice scoffed. Stay put. As if she could go anywhere. As if she wanted to go anywhere.

Like the perfect gentleman, Terry was tender with his care. A warm towel to soothe sore muscles and ensure a thorough cleanup was mandatory. The extra loving was complimentary for only his favorite lady. 

"Stay with me tonight," Patrice requested as he slid her panties back up her legs. 

He shook his head and smiled while prompting her to lift her hips. "I don't know if that's a good idea, Treecey." 

"I just wanna be next to you. Nothing more." 

Terry regarded her doe-eyed plea with a small smile as he helped her off the counter. He pulled her into an embrace, fiending for one more kiss. She obliged happily until he'd had his fill. 

His hands slid from her sides to her ass for a generous squeeze before answering. 

"Okay. Whatever you want. Let me handle something real quick, and then I'll meet you there." 

Patrice accepted her victory with a silly happy dance before turning to make enough room in her bed for an extra person. Terry sent her on her way with a light tap to her ass, amused by how something as simple as sleeping next to each other was exciting for her. 

Once she was safely out of the bathroom with the door shut behind her, he finally found time to take a deep breath and compose himself. The actual test of his strength was in the next room, and he couldn't risk the trust he'd worked so hard to build. 

After adjusting his shorts, he picked up his phone and sat on the toilet lid, hoping that watching dog videos or Nationals highlights would clear his mind.

He had every intention of opening the web browser on his phone until he noticed a series of messages from an old friend.

From: McBride 

You check your mail? 

Trial against chief starts in two weeks. Gonna need you to testify to take him down

Know you said you weren’t coming back

Do it for Mike

---

TAGS: @planetblaque @wvsspoppin @thatone-girly @oniccah @avoidthings @slutsareteacherstoo @eilujion @amyhennessyhouse @yaachtynoboat711 @jenlovey @pinkpantheris @blowmymbackout @deja-r

[cerise-on-top]

Hi Simon! Hope you are doing well! I was wondering if you if you could do the 141 + a bonus character of your choice with a drag queen S\O?



Hey there! I'm fine, thank you! I only write about 4 characters at a time, though, so no bonus characters!

TF 141 with a Drag Queen S/O

Price: I don’t think he knows much about drag queens, in all honesty. Sure, he may have occasionally seen one or two in a gay bar he used to frequent when he was younger, but he never really gave them much thought again afterwards. Though, he has a lot of respect for them, given how society treats them. They’re not treated that well, after all. When someone was being rude to them, he would fight the asshole since they weren’t hurting anyone. If you tell him that you’re a drag queen as well, he’d get really worried. While he won’t tell you to not dress up like one and live your best life, I think he would ask to accompany you on your outings when he can. He’s seen how people call your kind “pedophiles” and whatnot. It’s truly revolting to him, No, he’d much rather go out with you. It gives him an excuse to be closer to you as well, which I’m sure you don’t particularly mind either. He grows extremely protective over you and won’t hesitate to absolutely demolish anyone, who looks at you the wrong way. Not ashamed at all to be seen with you either. Why would he be? You’re the love of his life, so he’s going to support you in any way he can.

Gaz: Adores watching you put on your makeup. Babe, you look absolutely stunning in this, I bought you some more makeup, would you like to try it on as well? Unlike the others, Gaz actually has a sense of fashion and knows what would look good on you. He has the monetary means to buy you a little something here and there as well. So when he sees a dress that you would look absolutely stunning in? Yeah, he’s buying it for you. Will always, and I mean always, hype you up when it comes to something like this. If you perform then he’ll always ask you when your next performance will be so he can be there to cheer you on. And if anyone ever were to give you shit? They’ll be taken care of before they can even open their unworthy mouth. You are an absolute queen, you are killing it wherever you go. And if some dumb walnut can’t recognize that, then they don’t deserve to be in your presence. Will proudly hold your hand in public and look at you as though he’s just won the septuple jackpot. I don’t think he knows any of the history, though. He may not be straight, but that doesn’t mean he actually knows much of the history behind it all. All he knows is that you kick ass and that’s what he loves about you.

Ghost: I honestly don’t think he’d care all that much about it. You’re you, and he loves and appreciates you, doesn’t matter if you’re a drag queen, a drag king, or something else entirely. He’d let you do your own thing, buy you the occasional makeup or dress since you seem to be in your element when you’re wearing those things. Don’t expect those dresses to always be to your taste, though. He may get a sense for it eventually, but it would take some time. He wouldn’t care too much about it, until you’ve gotten a mean comment about who you are. From then on he’s absolutely fuming. Not at who you are and what you enjoy, but rather at the hater, who can’t seem to appreciate true art when it kicks them in the stomach. From then on he’d take interest in it to make you happy. He’ll learn about the history, your accomplishments and all that stuff. Will sometimes strike up a conversation with you about it as well, just to see you light up and excitedly tell him about it. He does not understand everything, but he tries really hard. You can tell him just about anything and he’d have no choice but to nod along and believe you. But why would you lie about your passions to him in the first place?

Soap: I think he’d genuinely be weirded out by drag queens for the better part of his life. Why are they dressed like that? What are they trying to prove? No, he doesn’t really like men, who are being feminine like that. And then you came along, making his world go upside down. On the one hand, it was weird to him, but on the other hand, he loved and adored you and didn’t want to lose you. Therefore he made an effort to take an interest in it and support you in your little thing. At first that interest was genuinely forced, he wanted nothing to do with it, but eventually, he’d warm up to the idea. I don’t think he’ll ever buy you a dress or some makeup without you being there, though. Soap is absolutely clueless whenever it comes to anything fashion related. He would go along here and there when you would go out all dressed up. I think in the initial phase, he wouldn’t want to be seen with you, but that would change eventually. Like a good boy, he’d do his research and try to find something that sticks with him so he has something to talk about with you. Again, he’d find enjoyment in it eventually, you just gotta give him some time and he will fiercely protect you from assholes and anyone else trying to bring him down. He’s just gotta warm up to the idea first.

[parisoonic]

How the hell do you manage to superimpose the hilariously exagerated proportions of the tf2 mercs into a cohesive 2d style? I always struggle SO much with like, the way the mercs' models have huge hands, the way they have relatively low-poly definition on things like arms, shoulders, and legs... and Especially the way like, the models are kinda janky when you pose them for art purposes- when using movement tools, things like armpits and seams between body parts get all deformed... Which makes the study of form and silhouette rather difficult.

I assume that a lot of your ability to translate the concept of the mercs from their original mediums into your own works of art comes to you quite naturally- through experience you have with drawing and art style stuff, as well as through intuition. I was simply wondering if I could poke at your mind and get some insight into your process, any thoughts you have about the proportions and silhouettes of the mercs, any quirks you've found while drawing the mercs, or simply what you enjoy drawing about them. Like, don't be afraid to infodump about something just because you think people wouldn't find it interesting- I am here, I am sitting, and I am listening- if you so choose to speak.

I am utterly fascinated and enraptured by the more behind-the-scenes aspect of art. The mundane things that come second nature to great artists yet seem so revolutionary to less experienced artists.

I love your work, I look forward to seeing more of it, and I hope you have a nice day :]

Sorry for the late reply! I've been a little…stuck on how to answer this but that's mainly because to me, drawing is composed of SO many different little skills - you have form, anatomy, shape language, silhouette, appeal, rhythm, acting and posing…not to mention everything AFTER your raw draughtmanship like line style, rendering and colour theory. Trying to distill a multiude of small skills into some pithy advice is overwhelming to my brain. So I'll take the invitation to ramble instead :))

I don't think I have any new or revolutionary insight into the tf2 guys specifically - more I'm using them as work horses to excercise general silhouette/posing/shape-language and further my skills when it comes to drawing characters!

I do agree though the proportions are rather silly when you stop and think about them realistically…they can be kinda tricky if you follow their 'actual' proportions. what looks great individually was maybe never meant to be directly compared (ie: Heavy's hand size against Spy's lol). It would've been funny if the TV show exsisted and we had more content to review…would the animators have had rules like Spy and Heavy can never shake hands? Would they cheated the proportions for shots? Or would they have said WHATVER it's gonna look weird and embraced it? (Like Kingpin in Spiderverse lol)

Paul Lasaine for 'Into the Spiderverse' This is AWESOME. But it's also one of the silliest designs I've ever seen comitted to screen. The varied scales of the characters work because of the unifying treatment (lighting, rendering, consistant hand anatomy, consistant cxlothing fold treatment etc) and because they are sort of proportional within themselves. A common manta is that hands should be about as large as a characters face....which they all are here!

Human brains are very flexible and forgiving though. It's totally fine for you to put a character with huge hands and head next to a teeny tiny character! Vanellope and Ralph from Wreck-It Ralph look grand next to each other! And in that film you even have varying levels of stylisation sitting against each other (unified by the look dev treatment of the shaders and lighting). I think as long as the chracter is proportional within themselves it sort of works out. IE: a general rule is that a hand should be as large as the face so…you can have some large arse hands as long as their placed on a body with a big arse head. Unifying characters with the same treatment (ie: lineart brush, colouring style will also help them look cohesive next to each other :) )

I don't actually reference the 3D models/animations very much at all and instead draw their proportions based on my tastes for stylisation following their general vibes/silhouette profiles. I don't stick THAT close to their in-game looks and there are artists who do that are so so so much better than me (Creedei and Flapjack come to mind). I'm not amazing at body-type differentation and TBH they're all wearing chunky clothes all the time so I usually draw the guys as one-of-three body shapes: Heavy is the uniquely wide guy; Sniper/Scout/Spy are all tall and slim and Demo/Soldier/Medic/Engie have a little more of the generic 'hero' bodytype with varying tallness and broadness of the shoulders

Something like this! You can vary all these individual elements in terms of size, thickness, taper amount etc to create different characters. If you ARE going to reference the 3d works though you'll need to apply some anatomy knowledge to overcome the weird shoulders, armpits and knees which desperately need blendshapes to correct the 3D volumes and approach it a little more like an animation supervisor. There's a reason why you see in making-ofs and art-ofs character designers, character leads or animation supes doing drawovers of the models. These are character models that have had great effort put into their 'base' silhouette but it still needs to be reinforced in every frame for maximum appeal.

Shiyoon Kim for 'Raya' This sort of thing will occur at multiple stages during the animation process. Shiyoon Kim's notes are post final model but pre-animation. Most likely for internal rig tests, exploring what blend shapes and alt shapes are needed for the rigs etc. If your production has time, this will continue all the way to final anim. IF! But it's interesting to see how he emphasises the shapes and enhances the character acting of the 3d model.

As for 'mundane things' - I wouldn't say they're second nature! (If that makes you feel better!) I have to actively really persue certain advice and try to figure out how to best apply it. This can sometimes involve redrawing and redrawing an element of the drawing until I've grasped the nettle of whatever I'm after or…..until I get frustrated and either delete the drawing or just call it done lol

Here, I'm looking for a really specific flow of the head that sells both the acting and a subtle head tilt. I'm also trying to apply the general mantra regarding faces that converging lines (set by the eyebrows and mouth) are more appealing than parallel. It's tough! I also tend to use a drawing I've already done as a template/reference on the page too. Oh! This page is an amazing example of why I'm not an animator or storyboarder…consistancy? Who is she? 💅

Converging lines (that form tapered shapes) are always more appealing than parallel. Using this logic you can loft the facial features across converging lines to create dynamic appealing espressions. Combining this with anatomy, perspective and rotation is the tough part though. I'm still learning o7

The things I probably think about MOST are always flats vs curves, simple vs complex and general line of action/flow...and then eliminting tangents. Each of these can be a dedicated visual-essay on their own - hence my stumbling as to answer your question. Anyhow, not sure if it's ever come up on this blog but I looove dinosaurs :)) so i'm using a wee piece to demostrate these ideas! (but also to demostrate these concepts apply to everything from humans characters to animals, props and background design)

Okay, I'm getting self-aware that this is getting really long :') I have a wee tutorial tag for my blog if anyone wants to comb through my garbled art-thoughts. Learning, studying, repetition and practice will always be the greatest teachers! I'm glad you like my art- thank you so much for the lovely comments - I feel like such a noob still and not qualified to give people advice but we're in it together learning! High-five! 🙌

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

nymph. [1/2] l General Marcus Acacius

Summary:  you have been with him for a long time, but he has never seen you

Warnings:  fluff, some nudity, battle flashbacks, not much going on, mythological figures treated in a simple way

A/N: quick shot. two part story. smut - definitely in the second part. I had a lot of pleasure writing this. I hope you will be gentle with me. your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

"So this is the place you chose for your solitary travels... I wondered where you've been disappearing lately."

A shiver ran down your arms at the sound of a slightly amused and familiar voice. You quickly stood up from the bed and curtsied, lowering your gaze.

"My lady." You said quietly. "Please don't be angry with me. I didn't think you'd notice my absence."

"I see many things, my dear. But no, I'm not angry." She replied, you raised your gaze and looked into the beautiful and wise face of Minerva. The armor she was wearing gleamed gold, reflecting the trembling flames of the candles, and although she was leaning on a spear, the head of which looked menacing, her face was gentle and a bit pensive. "I'm rather intrigued by your choice. General Acacius, I didn't think he was the one stealing you from me."

You felt the warmth that crept up your neck and cheeks, you looked down again, and Minerva laughed quietly.

"I'm glad." she added after a moment. "He's one of my favorites. He has all the features I like so much. Although, he's still a mortal."

Your gaze wandered to the man sleeping in the bed. A white sheet wrapped around his hips, he slept on his stomach, and the strong muscles of his back were outlined under his sun-kissed skin. 

Dark, tousled hair, soft stubble on his face, and those plush lips, the General looked almost like one of the statues you saw in your lady's temples. This was how ordinary people imagined gods, and you, spending time with them, saw their features in this mortal. A delicate smile crept onto your lips.

"I like watching him." you said quietly "When he sleeps, when he plans the strategy for the next battle or when he just sits alone and simply thinks. Never before have any of them drawn me to them so much."

The goddess looked at you, clearly intrigued. "Never?" she repeated "You lived long before him and you will live long after his body turns to dust. So why him?"

You didn't know the answer to that question. And you had long since stopped asking yourself.

It was the sounds of joy at the victory that caught your attention and drew you to the place where you first saw General Marcus Acacius. Since you were a nymph of the goddess Minerva, ordinary mortals couldn't see you like that, so you easily made your way between the crowded soldiers and stood near the General. 

The rays of the sun reflected off the golden face of Medusa on his chest, and his face, although covered in battle dust and the blood of his opponent, glowed in the glory of victory. Your heart beat faster in your chest and you knew you wouldn't leave him again.

At first it was curiosity, just like the one children have inside them. You followed him, listened to his low and melodic voice, noticed how he sounded when he gave orders and how he talked to others. You learned the names of his direct subordinates, learned his customs, spent hours in the tent with his commanders listening to their discussions about strategy and the art of war.

You were like the wind that followed him wherever he went, but you also had to remember your duties. Then you returned to your mistress, the goddess Minerva, having previously thoroughly cleaned your hands and feet of the camp dust. You didn't think she saw all of this.

"I feel that this is my place, my lady." you spoke after a long moment of thought "I don't know why... Is it normal? Or right? I've heard people talk about fate, but I'm not one of them so I don't know if it applies to me too. My lady?"

You looked pleadingly at Minerva's wise face. You didn't know anyone else who could answer that question. However, she was staring at you with almost motherly tenderness and soon your name flowed from her lips like a sonorous melody.

"You know that he will die someday." she said, "People are mortal. They have their weaknesses, their bodies age. You have observed it for so many centuries, and despite everything you have become attached to one of them. It really surprises me, but I look at it with great pleasure."

You smiled at her, your eyes once again turning towards the sleeping man. "Can this be called love? Is this what people talk about and desire?"

"You have to see for yourself, my dear."

It was another night when he saw her face again. He almost got used to her presence, although he never really saw her for real. Or maybe? 

Marcus remembered exactly that one moment when he had the impression that he saw her face in reality, because until then she had visited him only in dreams. 

It was a cruel battle. The soldiers fought hard and fiercely. Hundreds of the fallen were lying on the ground, and shattered shields and swords were lying around them, useless for anything. 

He was dazed, he could still hear the pounding of his heart in his ears, his lungs were still fighting for every breath, but when he looked up he saw her. 

She was standing in the middle of it all, not very clear as if she was a remnant of fog. The rays breaking through the thick clouds illuminated her silhouette. He saw sadness and fear on her face as her eyes moved from one dead face to another. And then she looked straight at him, her lips moving as if she whispered his name. He wanted to say something, run to her even though his body was sore, but then he heard the terrifying shriek of crows, he blinked, and she disappeared.

Marcus rinsed his face with cold water and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He felt tired. He would rather fall back into a dream in which this wonderful woman accompanied him, than put on armor and go to a military review.

He felt tired of the constant war he was fighting. The Roman Empire was growing every day. More and more space, more and more people to feed. Meanwhile, the Emperor sat in Rome and reveled in the next ships and carts full of treasures that his generals sent to him. This was not how it should be.

"You carry so much on your shoulders, Marcus. Too much for one man."

You sat on his bed, looking at him with sympathy. You liked talking to Marcus, even though you knew he couldn't hear you. Over this long time, you got to know him so well that you were able to recognize what was bothering him. And lately, many things were turning in his head.

You bit your lip as you allowed yourself to admire his naked body. He was strong, well-built. With broad shoulders, a strong back and long legs. You saw that charming happy trail that led straight to his impressive manhood. Even as a nymph you could feel desire, and you certainly did, looking shamelessly at this man.

As soon as Marcus pulled on his tunic, one of the messengers entered the tent.

"General." he said, bowing his head. "A message from Rome. The Emperor orders you to return. He will welcome you to the city with all the honors befitting a victor."

Acacius took the sealed message from the man's hand and signaled him to leave. Rome seemed so distant to him. However, after so long, it was good to return to civilization again. Although he loved the army, its order and rules, he missed his bed and home. A home that was just walls, because years of war and wandering didn't give him the opportunity to create something more there.

You went up to him and rested your head on his shoulder to read the message brought by the messenger.

"Rome! It's exciting." You said with joy. "There will be triumphal processions and the sound of trumpets. Rose petals falling on you from the sky like rain from the clouds... You, people, love such splendor."

Your hand slowly slid his arm. You felt his skin under your fingers, the small bumps that were traces of the wounds he had sustained. But his warmth was what you liked the most. You could feel it, but you couldn't give it to him.

When he put on the armor, your fingers playfully moved over each element. You liked Medusa's golden face the most, you always felt sympathy and compassion for her. When the sword hung at his side, you moved away, then followed him like an obedient servant.

People always amused you a little. They didn't see you, nymphs, although sometimes they managed to catch your faint reflection. Then they told stories about your beauty and tempting shapes. You knew many stories, good and bad, about what happened to you, and even more of them were unknown to ordinary people.

You had the impression that Marcus had experienced it once. You were a little careless then. Death and destruction made your heart ache, it was enough for his eyes to capture your image. That was the first time you felt his gaze on you, for real. He wasn't looking through you, he wasn't looking over you, but at you. That scared you and you didn't come to see him for the next few days.

"General, the troops are ready for review." reported some captain whose name you couldn't remember.

"I got information today that we are going back to Rome." Marcus said as they walked together along the first row of men. "That's good, people should rest."

"And you will once again receive the honors worthy of a hero of the Empire." the captain smiled. "I even sympathize with you, these meetings in the Emperor's palace must be tiring."

"Sometimes I think that being here is less bothersome than there, Aurelius." Marcus sighed and rubbed his furrowed brows with his hand.

"Did you sleep badly?"

"I don't think so. Only one dream has been bothering me for weeks."

Aurelius looked at his friend carefully. "A good dream, I hope? Full of wine, music and beautiful women, eh?"

Marucs stifled a laugh. "Of course, my friend."

He was lying. You both knew it. For weeks, you had been a guest in his dreams, only the places changed. 

A meadow full of flowers, where a warm wind flowed calmly. Or the seashore, in the abyss of which the sun disappeared, leaving a blood-red hue in the sky. Sometimes it was a bed, but different from the one he fell asleep in.

And you? You were beautiful. Sometimes dressed in a loose toga, sometimes naked. But you always gazed at him with love, whispered tender words, told stories that he thought he had heard before. Maybe when he was a child...

There were nights when he felt your lips on his neck and chest, or your fingers moving through his hair. Then he woke up hard, feeling as if just a moment ago your hand had really caressed him.

He didn't want to tell anyone that he felt watched, because he didn't know how to explain it. However, this feeling was with him almost all the time. Or when he was still half asleep and had the impression that he felt the shadow of a body lying next to him. Was he starting to go crazy?

You spent another day with him. The tent Marcus occupied felt almost like home to you. You sat on the edge of his bathtub as he took a bath, shamelessly watching his naked body glisten in the candlelight.

"I want to see you... Once again..."

His quiet voice tore you from your reverie. You looked at his face. His eyes were closed. You could see the wrinkles around his eyes perfectly, his neck that was perfect for showering with kisses, his arms were spread out on the edges of the bathtub, and his lips moved again.

"I know you're here with me... I can't see you, but I can feel you."

You leaned over him. Your lips were a few inches apart. You could clearly see his long eyelashes, you could feel his breath on your lips.

"I would give everything for one tender look from you..."

You parted your lips slightly and brushed his. It wasn't even a kiss, just a brush. Less than an accidental touch. But Marcus sighed as if his prayers had been answered.

"I guess I should feel embarrassed catching you in such a situation."

A quiet squeal reached your ears. You turned around and put your finger to your lips, but you smiled.

"Shush! He's sleeping." You said reproachfully to the young girl standing in the dark corner of the tent.

She silently approached the bed and leaned over the General with curiosity as if he was some really interesting phenomenon. You sat astride Marcus' hips and for a few hours you had been staring at his sleeping face. He dreamed about you, about both of you. It was a good dream, you were watching over it. You wanted him to rest, so that he wouldn't worry about anything else.

"My Cyrus was younger than him." She stated after thinking for a while.

"And he was a shepherd of sheep!" you laughed, "He's a general."

"Both equally mortal."

Her words momentarily extinguished your smile. It was true. Death was equal for everyone.

"What are you doing here?" you asked to forget for a moment about the separation that awaited you someday. "I thought you didn't like military camps."

"Our lady sent me to you." your friend and sister in one smiled, her eyes sparkling. "But before I tell you her words, tell me, do you really love him?"

You looked again at Marcus' sleeping face. You knew this map by heart. Every gesture, grimace, look. You knew him.

"I've never known love before." you answered truthfully. "But I know I'd like to be able to feel it, you know. Once, for a few moments, he looked into my eyes. It was less than one breath, but I felt like never before... I would give anything to be able to feel it again."

A delicate hand rested on your shoulder. "You've been visiting his thoughts for so long that his heart is directed only towards you. Our lady sees that, and she's the wisest of us all."

"She must be laughing at me, right? Such simple desires and..."

"Don't say that." she interrupted you quickly. "Our lady never does such things. She loves you and Marcus. You both have a special place in her heart."

Your eyes filled with tears. "Thank you." you whispered quietly. "What message do you have for me, love?"

Your friend's face brightened and then she came closer to your ear. She whispered quietly, but you understood every word perfectly. 

"Our lady asks you to live. She wants you to truly live. To feel. To love. To desire. To be seen. Our lady will fulfill your request, sister. Let immortality leave you, leave the body of a nymph and become one of the mortals. Fulfill your destiny."

For a moment you lost your breath, and a strange and disturbing shiver ran through your entire body. You felt a coldness you had never felt before. You saw the face of your dearest sister before you, but it was different, like a cloud of very thick fog.

"We will create myths and sing songs about your love." she said smiling "And when I’m next to you, you will feel me.”

Her lips brushed your temple, and warm tears ran down your cheeks as you closed your eyelids. When you opened them, she was no longer next to you.

For a moment, you tried to understand what had happened. You felt your senses overloaded, everything around you suddenly sharpened and darkened.

And then you felt it. Warm and strong hands tightened tenderly on your thighs, squeezing them gently. A familiar voice rang in your ears like never before.

"You're here... I can finally see you."

☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

taglist: @ashleyfilm

[meo-eiru]

meru, i always did like elias but he really really has been growing on me lately and i just have so much appreciation for the way you crafted his character like it is legit so beautiful😭💔

there was this advertisement that used to play on tv when i was a kid, and i can't really remember what it was for or abt tbh, but it had this man that lived on the moon and everytime you post elias content i kinda just remember it somehow.

there's this sort of isolated air around him, all he has is his self and his darling, and even then — it's not like he can always keep them around, no matter how hard he tries. so he's kinda left there, stuck with himself so to say. someone he doesn't love, and in turn, struggles to see how anyone else can love. in his head 24 hours a day, thinking how he can use the only trait he has to his advantage.

i can imagine all those things eat him up little by little, which is why he's volatile at the slightest indication his darling could be losing interest. their stopping him from hurting himself, somewhere is soothing, like a headpat, bc it feels like they're telling him they still care despite all odds.

how does one recieve love they feel like they don't deserve? in a way, he builds a bubble around himself bc of that w/o knowing and then there's just this surmounting distance he doesn't know how to lessen. so man on the moon, staring at earth through his telescope everyday, but failing to feel its warmth bc though he revolves around it and monoplises the fact that he belongs in its orbit, he makes no move to get closer. constantly trapped in the thought that he is stuck where he is, and that place is an undesirable home.

idk know where i'm going with all this and i rambled a lot so you can just ignore it actually ahaha all i really wanted to say was that you're amazing and elias deserves quality hand-holding time😩💕

I LOVE THIS ASK!!!

You captured Elias as a character so so well.

Elias truly is like a miracle. People who used to ask me stuff about him should remember, he basically didn't have any story. I don't know if it was just sheer force of will, or if it was thanks to you guys, but he developed so much within these past few weeks he existed.

I've never seen the ad you mentioned but based on what you said it fits him so well. A lonely man who was thrown out of the bubble due to his biggest blessing, and keeping himself there without realizing.

So lonely, so desperate, so self aware yet too far gone to fix any of it. Thirsty for your love yet thinks he doesn't deserve it causing him to always be on edge. So contradictory, so unstable.

A man who so desperately yearns for your love, to feel alive, to know he exists, to know someone is seeing him. He doesn't care what happens to him in the progress, he just needs you and your love.

[maelancoli]

PADDING OUT DIALOGUE SCENES

in another round of very unprompted writing advice i thought i figured i'd share my two cents when it comes to the topic of struggling to fill out conservational scenes. another thing i see a LOT of lately is a general fretting among writers who find that dialogue comes easily to them but the rest is a struggle. for me it's often been the opposite, i had to work at honing the talking part but description? i've always done a little too much tbqh. but funny enough the solution for both is not disconnected.

a lot of it will come down to knowing your character. what are their ticks? what are their filler words? are they bold and expressive when they're speaking? or are they withdrawn and shy? deciding the behavioral quirks of your character will improve your instincts when trying to be more descriptive. do they fidget with their clothes? do they pick up objects and toy with them? do they fold their arms around themselves or have other defensive posture? where do their eyes go when they speak? do they look around a lot? do they have an intense, unwavering gaze? do they zone out to look at other objects? what are they looking at when they do look away to think or listen? (this is also where having a faceclaim to build characteristics and mannerisms around can be helpful, not just in rp settings but any kind of fiction.)

"i guess...i don't really know how i'm supposed to feel about it," he admitted.

okay so we already have information here to expound on. the character is uncertain and conflicted. how would that effect their demeanor outwardly?

"i guess..." he trailed off with a sigh. he shook his head and his gaze grew unfocused, wandering away from his companion to stare blankly at a clock on the mantelpiece. his index finger tapped lightly at his knee. "i don't know how i'm supposed to feel about it, ya' know?" amir admitted with a shrug. he finally looked at the other man again, but there was a vulnerability which brought a sheepish shadow to his tumultuous gaze.

we've shown he is pensive with a wandering eye and that he's a little uncomfortable with his nervous tick of tapping. the next step is to consider the inner workings of their PoV. what does the scene itself call for them to be doing and thinking between lines? what does the emotion and tension of the scene—or even the comfort and familiarity of it—reflect inside them?

"you don't have to know right now," malik pointed out. he lifted his hands from where they had rested on the surface of the table to turn his palms outward, leaning in closer. "it's okay not to know." they held one another's gaze for a silent moment. amir's lips pressed together and he swallowed down the lump which had formed in his throat. he was not an emotional man. he had always prided himself on his restraint. but it was all beginning to be too much and the empathy in his friend's eyes was only another weight upon his already bowed shoulders. "...maybe you're right," he mumbled thoughtfully.

here we have shown his friend's gesture, adding more presence to the environment around them. and then we have given a little space for the character to feel. we have given a little information about who he is, or at least how he thinks about himself. by bringing his eyes back to his companion we have shown he is opening up, he is actually leaning into the intimacy of comfort and listening. but the mumble shows he is still not confident in admitting the need for help. it shows he has not even accepted fully the grace he's being given.

it isn't just what a character is saying, it's how they're saying it. it's how they're carrying themselves. it's how they're receiving the other characters' words. and showing how they're carrying themselves along with their inner feelings will also help show what is driving their dialogue. it will create a contrast if they're not being a reliable narrator, if they're contradicting or if they're withholding etc.

taking time and being patient with yourself to expound upon these things and to develop your character will make them more real. the more you practice and get to know them, the more instinctive and natural it will become!

[starzzmissthesun]

i think you should totally drop whatever hc/ideas you have lying around honestly...i would love to see more into ur brain...pls <33

:DD

Hi!!!! Sorry this is a little late, I got so distracted with an animatic im working on(😈) and then a stupid essay😭😭 being honest rn... Almost all of what I've been thinking about is my fic.. 😔

But!! I can still go a little into that without spoilers. I've finally figured out The Perfect ending for this story that I feel fits with the overarching themes I wanted to tell. I've been making sure that every little detail fits with the themes I wanted to show, I wanted it to overlap Regulus and barty's characters and their overarching themes with PD. I also didn't want to just replicate PD cause I feel like that doesnt have the depth or commentary I want to out into it. Idk ive always thought it's super fun to put everything as some sort of symbol or metaphor or foreshadowing. I'm like literally so close to being done drafting and then I can actually talk about it a little more😭

Anyways! I've also been thinking about barty post regs death 😔(when am I not) But more specifically how every memory he had would almost be tainted, everything now would have an air of questioning and unsureness. Even memories where Regulus isn't there, just wondering where was he? What was he thinking? Am I remembering this right? What could've I changed? What was the domino that caused all of this to happen? Eventually finding it hard to accept the way it really was, having the "I guess it was" and feeling it, but overintellectualizing it. His logic and reasoning is his downfall in this situation, that's what makes him go crazy. (Side note I NEED to make a little post about his intersection between intelligence and madness) Hes doing a complicated version of when there's a task that seems so simple that you think it's a trick, but it's not, it's just that. What happened with Regulus was just that.

Also, I've recently self reflected and realized that a lot of my barty characterization is similar to how I think of Leonard Cohen's art(who I LOVE LOVE LOVE) Idk if you've listened to him or read any of his work, but I HIGHLY suggest it, it's perfect for fall. Anyways, a lot of his songs and poems carry themes of having a twisted self image, not completely self deprication though it may seem, but something else. It's closer to understanding and knowing that you are. Different. And unconventional. It's an uncomfortablility he has with himself. Being soemthig twisted from what you should've been. A lot of his stuff is also to do with tragically losing someone, out of their own choice, and still feeling very loyal yet bitter. Also of loving something so much that it turns dark, or it goes too quick, it spirals. Also his love songs are very barty's perspective on bartylus to me. And like, obvious war mentions. I could give some specific recs similar to barty or them if you'd like.

Another thing is of Regulus and his relationship with his dad. Though I see it completely reasonable if his dad was just kind of, not there and neglectful, it could give very interesting implications to his character, I like it the other way around. Orion seeing what a more carefree attempt at raising a child does and keeping Regulus even closer than he did before. I think Orion always liked Regulus more, despite him being the second, because he was a model son. I don't think he wanted this life or even to have kids, so Regulus being so complacent and in line with what he was supposed to be as a pure blood made him the decided favourite(as much as he could have one). He was always keeping a close eye on Regulus and he could feel it, but he didn't do anything out of place anyways. Orion could tell when he was even thinking something he wasn't supposed to. I believe that, no matter how much she tried, walpurga was too caught in her own head about her duty as a mother to see S+R as anything other than Her Kids, as property that she was supposed to care for and tend to, she obviously loved them, but couldn't see through them. But Orion was there around every corner looking through regulus' eyes into his soul to search for any thing out of his perfect kid.

Anyways.... That's all I can think of rn😭 but if you have questions about ANY of them lmk!!! I love yapping about my little thoughts 😁😁

[dimonds456]

Transfem Stan Thoughtdump

Okay so @/abyssalzones made a pretty good post that sums up a lot of my thoughts as well, but I have a few extra ones I'd like to add to this discussion, as well as elaborating on one of the post's points. I've been thinking about transfem Stan for a couple of weeks now and at this point I'm like "fuck it we ball" and throwing it out there. 

For one, it warms my heart whenever there's an older character who was raised in the mid-1900s/older times who realizes they're queer, or comes to terms with their identity in old age. You're never too old to realize you're part of the community, and never too late. Adding this on top of the many, MANY identities that Stan has had to take to survive in her life, it'd be like really turning over a new leaf for her. She'd get to really step into an identity that she aligns with completely, and not something else given to her or that she took to protect herself. 

Not to mention, everything regarding Ford. The fact that she had to pretend to be Ford for so long, she more than likely never had the chance to even think about taking on any other identities. She had to keep this one as intact as she could. Otherwise, she could risk loosing the Shack, and with it, the portal- her brother. No way that was happening. 

It was briefly touched in the post, but when Stan was watching that one movie and she was like "JUST LIKE ME FR", obviously the writers intended that to just be a joke since this was as far and away from Stan's identity as they could get. But we're gonna ignore that and take it at face value for a second. 

The channel introduces itself (jokingly) as the boring old lady black-and-white channel, clearly something that a manly-man like Stan wouldn't be into, and he reacts like how you'd expect. But once it gets going, he gets fully sucked into it, leading eventually to the scene where the main character, seemingly about to complete a Character Arc™, tells her mother "I'm not just a dutchess, I'm also a woman!" and Stan cheers for her, saying the "just like me fr" line. 

Without any transfem headcanons, again, this is a joke. Or you could interpret this in hindsight as Stan feeling a similar way about his father, since lines like "I'm a woman!" declared like that usually means "I'm free to make my own choices," which is a message resident make-my-father-proud-issues Stanley Pines would relate to pretty hard. Even though this isn't a conclusion Stan comes to in the show, we could easily see him coming to a conclusion like that in the future.

Now let's add the transfem headcanon back in. With that new layer to it, Stan (whose egg hasn't cracked yet) would be confused as to why she relates so hard. After all, she's a man who was raised to shove feelings down and be a manly-man man by Filbrick. She's more than likely gone her entire life trying to conform to that idea of toxic masculinity that her dad pushed on both her and Ford. Stan was always the one who resorted to punching, after all. That's a manly-man trait, so surely this goes no further right

There's a part of Gravity Falls that I feel doesn't get discussed enough, and that's the underlying misogyny of it. There's not a ton of it, but there are quite a few jokes about how men are stronger than women and the like. Stan has quite a few lines like that herself. So she would be subscribing to a similar mental state, the idea that if you like punching, CLEARLY you're a guy. Cuz that's how it works. Obviously. 

Introducing Mabel Pines, someone who is VERY much a girly-girl. She likes pink and unicorns and rainbows and makeup and sleepovers, stuff of the like. Now I could make a whole other post about my headcanons for Mabel and her queer journey, but one thing she can definitely do that "girly-girls" DON'T? Punching.

Mabel can punch. And she punches a lot. 

It's a small thing, and something I think Stan has just kinda accepted without question over the course of the series, but if she were to stop and think about it, she'd be like ".....wait a minute." and it could very well be the first piece that cracks the idea of manly-man masculinity vs just. existing as a person and what that actually means. 

Once Stan finally starts to break away from toxic masculinity and all those lessons she got thrown into her head, then her egg would finally be able to start cracking. 

As for why it even matters, first off, it just makes for an interesting interpretation of the character I haven't really seen before until VERY recently. Like, within the past 2 days recently (and maybe once like a month ago?? idk). 

But secondly, for her character, it would be a good, healthy step into really taking back her identity. Who IS Stan Pines? She's spent so long being other people, either as a form of self-defense or pretending to be her brother so she can help save him from the sideburn hell dimension, that I don't think she's really allowed herself to connect to who Stan is. 

This is true regardless of gender headcanon, but I think the transfem angle makes it so much more interesting. Who is Stan? Not even she knows. And she's starting to feel VERY confused about the whole thing. 

As for Ford, I think he'd be more than willing to support an identity journey for Stan. After all, he's traveled across dimensions and more than likely had all his teachings questioned as well. I am willing to bet money he's encountered trans people before. And, knowing Ford, he'd be open and curious to the idea, not close-minded, no matter what their father tried to teach his kids. Honestly, I could see Ford pestering Stan with questions long into the night regarding the whole thing, and taking up the whole identity mystery for himself as something the two of them can "crack" (heh) together. Just another adventure for the crew of the Stan'o'War II! 

There's SO much more but I don't wanna re-say things that the og post already said, these are just the big ones that stick out to me and what I wanted to elaborate on. 

TL;DR Stan goes on a journey of realizing that toxic masculinity Is Bad Actually and honestly so was his father, and once he accepts that and starts actively challenging his own beliefs about gender, her egg cracks and she realizes that maybe she isn't a guy at all. The rest of the Pines- but Ford especially- are supportive, and although Stan has a LOT of self-reflection to do and I could see her getting frustrated, flustered, or even embarrassed of her newfound realization, ultimately it makes her happier like this. Cuz it's her identity. She's not pretending to be anyone else anymore and she can just wholly be herself.

Thank you and goodnight

[ofmdrecaps]

09/23-25/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Kristian Nairn: Beyond The Throne Release!; Rhys Darby; Leslie Jones; Rachel House; CW: Roaches: Samba Schutte; Vico Ortiz; Lindsey Cantrell; Crew For Life Hoody; Adopt Our Crew: Prompts/Research; Bi+Sexuality Day; Watch Party Reminders; Fan Spotlight; Love Notes;

Hey crew, sorry I've been completely exhausted the last few days, having to be up early with kiddo and drive down to see my dad + crazy work hours. I am just... flat out of it, sorry! Trying to get caught up today, this is going to be a 3 dayer to try and catch up quickly. Hope you all are doing well and having fun honking!

== Kristian Nairn ==

On September 23, Kristan's Beyond the Throne was finally released!!!

Kristan was on NBCNews and Pix11News!

Source: Kristian Nairn's Instagram

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by New York Live (@newyorklivetv)

Kristian was featured in the New York Post and Screenrant!

A lot of the crew has been expressing excitement for the book!

Still looking for a copy? Maybe a signed copy? You can grab one on his linktree!

== Rhys Darby ==

Sept 23rd was Rhys and Rosie's 27th anniversary! Happy Anniversary you two!

Speaking of Rhys and Rosie -- Friday Sept 27, Rhys and Rosie will be doing an episode together!

Source: David Booth's Twitter

Rhys is going to be taking a big part in BadJelly! (Guess who else is there? Pop Pop (Cohen Halloway!)

Source: BadJellyTv / Rosie's IG

Are you gonna be in LA on Oct 1? You can check out Rhys' "Saying Funny Things Society" at the Largo Los Angelos! Get tickets here.

Source: Rhys Darby's Twitter

== Leslie Jones ==

Leslie's off to see the yankees!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Leslie Jones (@lesdogggg)

Source: Leslie's Instagram

== Vico Ortiz ==

For Latine Heritage Month, Vico was featured in a Glaad article!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

== Samba Schutte ==

There's quite a lot of speculation going around because of how active Samba is regarding AoNZ and OFMD....he's been sharing a LOT of @adoptourcrew's Glaad Media Awards stories...

And reminding us he went to New Zealand 2 years ago...

And.. what is with these Roaches in a box? Some folks have said... 3 pictures = S3, some have said they see S3 in the roaches themselves. What do you think?

Source: Samba's Instagram Stories

PS: I love that the Advanced Chemistry Movie Socials are clowning with us all.

Source: AdvancedChemistry Twitter

== Rachel House ==

Can it be? Is The Mountain finally coming to dvd and digital! Apparently! Oct 2 is the day in the US - AoNZ Oct 1!

Source: TeMaunga's Instagram == Linds Cantrell ==

Lindsey with a new Haircut!

Source: Linds Cantrell's Instagram Stories

== Crew For Life Hoody ==

Final hours for the ShopStands Crew For Life Hoodie!

Source: ShopStands.com

== Adopt Our Crew ==

Our crewmates over at @adoptourcrew have been trying to keep engagement gowing with a couple prompts! If you have twitter please hit them up, they'd love to hear from you!

Source: AOC's Twitter

Source: AOC Twitter

Our Friends over at @adoptourcrew also put together some cool research regarding shows that have been picked up by Netflix! Check it out here!

Source: AOC Tumblr

== Watch Party Reminders ==

Sept 26 is the end of Season 1 of OFMD with @adoptourcrew and @astroglideofficial!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

== Articles ==

The Mary Sue put an article out about the OFMD Cancellation, but it caused a little controversy because of this glaring error:

If you wanna check the article out below here it is:

Source: Sorry I can't remember who I found it from initially!

== Bi+Sexuality Day ==

Happy very belated Bi+ Sexuality day! As always-- you are seen, you are valued, you are valid; no matter who you've chosen to partner with, or who you've been with in the past. So much love your way lovelies <3

Source: Glaad Instagram

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Our Flag Means Fanfiction =

New Episode of Our Flag Means Fanfiction-- this time The Fluff Episode! Check it out on their linktr.ee!

And new episode of Gay Pirate News Hour on October 5th! Check it out on Our Flag Means Fanfiction Youtube!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction Instagram

== Love Notes ==

Alrighty lovelies, I wanted to get so much more done today but I ran out of picture room and I'm catching up on so many things so everything is behind. I want you to know that you are doing a great job out there. Not just with clowning/honking, but with life in general. Things keep happening, and you keep on kicking, and that means so much to me, so much to your crew! We care so deeply about you and so when you succeed, or you struggle, we want to be there with you every time. <3

This world is hard, but you keep being kind regardless, and we're so proud of you for that. Sending so much love crew <3

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A post shared by Katie Abey 🌈 (@katieabey)

Source: Katie Abey's Instagram

[nyanbinary-perineum]

A bonus to class changing you is that anyone who mouses over will immediately know what you are :3

Doesn't that sound exciting?

People thinking "Oh is that another warrior wandering by, weird that they aren't wearing any armor... Ooooooooh, that's just one of those cat-thing cumdumps I've been hearing about. Lot of those springing up lately"