#i've been lacking as a Fan of Any Content Really and that needs to stop

[my-great-big-book-of-fan-fiction]

L Lawliet X F!Reader Smut Oneshot

VERY SMUTTY SMUT, 18+

FINALLY finished! This was so fun to write, but I've been so distracted recently that I haven't been able to work on any of my hobbies. I apologize for going AWOL for like, what, a month? Anyway, hopefully finishing this will be the start of bringing writing back in my life. Enjoy, L fans, and let me know if you have ideas for more!

Warnings/contents: Oral (reader recieving), PinV, cowgirl, happy trail, slight amounts of biting, and a very tired man

L has been working far too much, and it's showing. Not only has he not been leaving the CTV screens, he's stopped sleeping all together. Not even at his seat. For someone so smart, you'd think he'd know to take better care of himself.

Well, tonight, he's finally returned to your shared bedroom, only to retrieve some important flash drive. You were laying upside down on the bed, your legs propped up on the headboard and your hands busy with a rather riveting game of snake.

As soon as you heard him walk in, you perked up, flipping around and watching him with intent, your phone playing a sad little song at your loss of the now irrelevant game. "Hey! are you done working?"

He had his hands in his pockets, his steps light but slow as he felt weighed down by his lack of energy. "I'm never done working," he answered simply, walking to the nightstand and crouching down in front of it.

He opened a drawer, which contained a safe. He typed in the 12 digit code, opening it and finding a few small files and three flash drives...none of which were the right one. "I put it right here...did you take the red drive from this safe," he asked with slightly narrowed eyes, turning to the left to face you.

"No...is something missing?"

He examined you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, taking in everything about you. This was the problem, he could never tell if you were lying. Whether it was that he was so infatuated with you he couldn't imagine you lying to him, or if you were simply that good, It was frustratingly inconvenient. Perhaps you simply never lied...that was the delirium from not sleeping speaking, most definitely.

"Are you lying," he asked simply.

"No, unfortunately. I wish I had it...I can help you look," you say sweetly.

"I will find it myself...thank you," he nodded, throwing the polite thanks on the end.

"If you say so," you say in obvious skepticism.

He stands back up, looking down at you as you laid back once more. "Do you doubt my ability," he asked challengingly.

"Well...no...It's just..." you look back up at his big, tired eyes, his face discreetly shifting back and forth between curiosity and annoyance.

You look back to your phone. "You've been so tired, you're running on fumes...I just don't think you're in the right place to be effectively searching for and finding things...or, remembering where you put things...or...doing detective work..."

Silence.

You slowly look back up at him, already wincing at how he must look. When your eyes met his, he just seemed...surprised?

"Do you really think my lack of sleep is affecting my efficiency in a palpable way?" He seemed to be considering the notion.

"I do. Very much so."

"Well...I don't have time to sleep," he mused lowly.

you could work with this. "Would you at least shower? It could help you relax, get your mind off things. It'd only take, like, what, 20 minutes?"

He thought about this.

"I suppose it may assist me in 'getting my mind off things'," he sighed. "Fine. But I'd like you to look for that flash drive while I'm gone," he said firmly. Even without the team around, he still acted like he was your boss. You looked up at him with raised brows.

"...please." This energy deficit was making it harder to engage in social conventions, it took a level of consciousness he did not have currently. Another reason he needed sleep.

"Sure," you said with a smile, sitting up. "Go on, go shower, I'll start looking right now," you assured, standing and guiding him to the bathroom. He walked on his own, shutting the door behind him.

You sighed, turning to face the room, scanning it, your brow furrowed. Then, the water turned on. You glanced to the door. You could hear the rhythm of the raining droplets interrupted by him getting in.

With a deep breath, you relax, walking to the nightstand and opening it back up. You typed in the code to the safe, It was a seemingly randomized combination of the numbers within you and Watari's respective birthdays.

Reaching into your bra, you pulled out the flash drive, placing it atop everything else. You'd have to confess and apologize later, for tricking him. You really just needed a reason to get him away from his computer.

With a satisfied huff, you laid back down, continued your game of snake, and waited for him to get out.

fifteen minutes later, the bathroom door gently pushed open, and out L walked, seeming slightly better. he had a towel wrapped loosely around his hips, a slight and sparse amount of black hair barely visible above the pristine white of the fabric. Another towel was slung around his shoulders, catching the water dripping from his spiked black hair.

perfection.

You sat on the edge of the bed, smiling happily at him. "Hey, how do you feel? Better? About the flash-"

"I'd like to have sex."

Your mouth hung open for a moment, the suddenness shocking you. You supposed it was because he was lacked so much energy before, because him being so direct wasn't rare in the slightest. Meanwhile, he simply stared at you, waiting for a proper response.

"Right...right now?"

"Do you have any other plans?"

"Well, no," you say, laughing a little. "I thought you were tired. You should be tired."

"I am tired, but I've come to the conclusion that sex with you would be beneficial, more so than the shower, and more time efficient than proper rest."

You just laughed even more, giggling at his frankness. "Sure, yeah...so, I'm assuming you'll want to get straight to things? make it quick?" Nothing was unexpected with him, that was for sure.

"Well...not without foreplay. I'm not completely helpless," he muttered, his brows furrowing slightly at the insinuation he wouldn't. He could tell that's what you were thinking.

"Is that so? Here I was, thinking you'd leave me high and dry," you tease.

He took a step closer, before putting his foot up and onto the bed next to you and leaning over you. His hands were at his hips, the natural placement for him after so much time putting them in his pockets. "Do you think that lowly of me," he asked softly. His eyes were half lidded, staring deep into yours as if he were reading your soul, and his lips were parted, slowly taking in air, his breath warm against your face, so impossibly close to you.

Your skin was warming, blood rushing to your cheeks and nose as you take in the sight before you. Then, you smile, bringing your hands to cup his face. "You're trying too hard," you taunt, planting a gentle kiss on his lips. He closed his eyes, and when you pull away he leans in farther for a beat, as if he's trying to chase you. His serious expression disappears, and he sits up just a little more. "Am I," he asked, genuinely, cocking his head a little in curiosity.

He just makes you giggle, he's so funny without even realizing. "Yes," you laugh jokingly, nodding for a moment before you calm down. Then you lean in a little more, glancing down at the foot propped up on the bed, and quietly say, "No. It's nice, fun...but, I'd rather you just be yourself." You tilt your head up, your lips brushing against his, before you give him a true kiss.

He closes his eyes, a shiver running up his spine, and when your mouth opens to slide your tongue across his bottom lip, he gladly opens his own. Your hands stay to the sides of his face, and his eventually make their way to your shoulders. You stop for a moment, scooting backward. Without even thinking, he sits completely on the bed, just to follow your lips, and as a reward you waste no time kissing him again.

You stay like that for a while, making out while he sort of straddles your legs in his usual crouch, until he moves past your mouth and to your jaw. It surprises you for a moment, but you quickly adjust, your hand moving to his damp hair to steady yourself.

He leaves wet, meaningful kisses up your jawline, his hand sliding up to your neck to hold you in place. "Did you know," he starts, planting a kiss to the spot where your ear meets your jaw. "That the ear is one of the most sensitive parts of the body," he finishes, kissing at the shell of your ear and sucking on your lobe for a moment. He wasn't even trying to be overly sexy, at least not in his words, you could tell he simply said it because your ear made him think of it, but the candidness of this moment that was so L made you melt...especially because of his soft, low voice.

"Is that so," you ask, your voice wavering a little.

you could feel his smile against the skin of your ear as he left another impassioned kiss to the shell. "It appears it is," he hummed, his voice dropping ever so slightly. Maybe he was trying.

You could do nothing but let out a nervous giggle, your back arching upward until your chest met his. You turned your head, your ear no longer accessible to him, and planted a kiss to the side of his neck. You could feel him stiffen, his breath catching in his throat. You kissed him again, this time slowly, and his hand moved to be in your hair, the other planted firmly on the top of your hip to steady himself.

You take the moment to remove the towel around his waist, glancing down to see just what you were working with...and there he was.

He was fully erect, around 6 inches, the pale pink tip beading with pre. Perfect. You almost reached out to touch him, to please him, but...

Finally, and rather suddenly, he mutters, "Sit back....please."

You don't argue, you just...do. You sit back from him. You could have kept going, just to tease him, but just in case he was overwhelmed, you sat back.

He wasn't overwhelmed, to your delight, and you knew because he leaned forward and brings his lips to your clavicle, placing a gentle but impassioned kiss there. He hears your breath catch, and as he looks up at you with his usual moon-eyed stare, he catches the way your nostrils flare, and your lips part. "You are aroused," he states softly, his hands running up your sides and under your shirt.

"I am," you titter, his cool hands sending a shiver up your spine as you watch him intently.

"If you take your shirt off, I may be able to assist you," he hums sarcastically, a slight, gentle smile across his face.

You roll your eyes, a big smile on your face as you remove your shirt, setting it aside. You take your bra off too, and your pants for good measure. The only thing left on you is your underwear, something that, as he trails feather light kisses down the valley of your breast and the center of your abdomen, he carefully removes with his thumbs and index fingers. By now, he's on his knees and bent forward completely, his hands holding your legs apart as he brings himself to be face to face with your aching folds.

he gazes up at you, not in question but in curiosity, almost a way to tease you. do you want this? how badly? you really want this, don't you?

He slowly licks his lips as his eyes flick back down to what was before him. He sticks his tongue out, giving a long, tentative lap up from your entrance to your clitoris. as his tongue slides up your clit, beneath the hood, your hips buck, just enough to let him know you're excited. With that, his lips lock onto it, his eyes half lidded as he lavishly sucks and laps, soft groans reverberating through you ever so gently as he pleasures you.

He always seems to enjoy this as much as you do, and with each moan you release, he responds to you with a particularly angled prod of his tongue, or a vibrating groan in return, rewarding the crescendo of your sounds.

Your hand finds its way to his hair, nestling in the soft black stands and gently pulling at the base. At the feeling, he releases a breath he seemed to have been holding, the air fanning against the skin of your thighs and lower abdomen. The sturdy grip he has on your hips tightens a little, and as your hips stutter with the eventual arrival of your orgasm, he looks back up at you, his eyes peering, examining, daring you to look anywhere but at him. You can't help but to stare back.

With one final lap of his tongue, you finish, back arching, head tossing back, your voice ringing through the room in what he can only describe as the song of the angels. He helps you through, gently sucking on your clit, and when you finally come down from it, he pulls away, licking the fluid from his chin and upper lip. It was sort of endearing, watching him do something that looked so...stupid, to put it bluntly.

You laugh despite your panting, smiling as he sits back with his knees rather relaxed compared to usual, not to his chest, although arched halfway there. "you were...considerably louder than usual. has it been a long time since you've experienced an orgasm?"

you almost wanted to chide him for asking a question that had such an obvious answer, but you supposed it was good he didn't negate the fact that you could self pleasure. "Nope. I guess you could say I've been saving myself for you," you sigh teasingly, crawling closer, over his legs, bringing your face and hips above his, respectively.

He instinctively takes your hips, looking up at you with a thoughtful expression. "Why would you do something like that," he asked disdainfully.

You laugh a little. "Does it matter?"

He pauses, looking to your hips. "I suppose not. It makes no difference to me," he muses.

You smile down at him with endearment, your hands sliding to his shoulders. No time to waste.

You lower yourself down his vehemently leaking cock, his grip tightening around you as you push yourself past his tip.

he leaned forward, his knees coming up, your body now between his chest and his legs as your hips met his. he wasn't especially girthy, but his length more than made up for it. You take in a breath, steadying on his shoulders, and slowly slide upward.

He watches with a sort of aroused fascination as you begin to ride him, his eyes not leaving the sight of your body taking his dick in and out, watching and feeling every twitch, listening to every sound, the variations, the angles, everything perceived. You wouldn't think he was enjoying himself all too much, given the fact he was only releasing tempered pants and the occasional hum, but it was his attention that gave it away. Nothing besides his work, and now you, has captured his attention so quickly and so intensely.

If he weren't so tired and in need of a proverbial "quickie," he'd have you in as many different positions as possible. He has a need to see every facet of you, to know how you look and feel and sound in every angle and situation...but, for now, the usual cowgirl will do. And it does, it does rather nicely.

He only looks up at your face when he takes notice of your own noises, growing in volume and desperation. Of course, when he looks up, he can really only see your tits, bouncing away, and he really has no choice but to lavishly suck on your nipple. a formality, truly. The sounds and expressions that elicits is simply heavenly.

He grips your hips tighter, and as the air from his nose fans across your chest, he thrusts himself up. You cry out, his tip unexpectedly hitting your cervix, and all you can do now is shift back and forth as he thrusts up, peer into his large observant eyes as he tongues your breast and uses your body as he wishes. The sight, the feeling, the sounds, it was all too much for you. You moan louder and louder, signaling an orgasm, and the moment his tip pounds a particular spot, you're done. Your hips buckle, your body shakes, and best of all for him, your walls constrict.

in mere moments after you, he begins to truly moan, his cheeks flushing as his orgasm grows closer. After one particularly fast and hard jerk of his hips, he's calling out your name, his teeth pressing into your chest as his lashes flutter, his cum releasing within you in quick spurts, riding the wave as your hips roll against his.

He said this would be quick, a way to relax while staying time efficient, but fortunately he was too tired to take his own tiredness into account. He fell completely asleep beside you, his head pressed into your chest and his legs pressed to your torso as you stroked his hair. He'd sleep for the next 14 hours, and while you got up to pick up the slack at work, get something to eat, or use the restroom, you always returned to him.

I genuinely looked like coraline's dad writing this. I had fun, but wow was I lethargic. I'd like to do this again though, hopefully when I'm feeling more determined!

Taglist: @cheekyweekymouse

[kyliafanfiction]

Actually, really, now that I think about it in more detail, as much as I really loathe what Lisa does to Amy in the Bank, the truth is, if Lisa told Vicky about Amy's feelings for her then, if it was out and in the open between the two siblings...

Long-term, it's better for them both, I think.

It depends on how Tattletale actually tells it, like, specifically what she says, and also if she mentions the fact that Amy can do brains in that context. Also depends on just how many intrusive thoughts and temptations Amy has actually had to rewire Vicky's brain the way she does in Arc 11, and if Lisa picks up on any of that.

Now, I do think Vicky would be more upset hearing it from Lisa than from Amy (i.e. if Amy had come to her sometime, before this, and laid it all out, not that I think she ever would have without some kind of very potent or well-aimed external push) but I don't think Vicky would hate Amy over it?

Like, Vicky is Amy's #1 fan, I think, up until that critical moment. She loves her sister, and thinks of her as an amazing person, an amazing hero, etc. She might be some degree of weirded or even grossed out, maybe even uncomfortable with it, but she couldn't call Amy some sort of gross freak over it, wouldn't hate her, wouldn't like say 'stay away from me forever' over it?

At this point, Amy's done nothing to her, not acted on it... I mean, I'm not sure specifically what Vicky might try to do, because in part it depends on just how one interprets the level of crush Amy has on her. Is Amy just full on Vicky-sexual? Vicky-romantic? Some people still take it that way. Or is she just gay and just really in love with and attracted to Vicky? Is it just a super intense crush made worse by Amy's lack of friends or social life or any other outlets? Is it yandere-level obsession?

Certainly I've seen all those takes on it and more, and given what happens later on, plenty are content to assume full on yandere obsession. I'm not sure it's really quite that bad under normal circumstances (what happens during the S9 stuff is hardly 'under normal circumstances' after all), so let's assume it's not that. And let's go with 'Amy's Gay, but she's just in love with and attracted to her sister', for this thought experiment. No Aura, just - she's always been really attached to her sister (as the one source of affection at home) being socially introverted (to say the least) probably having a problem where people approach her wanting healing or cosmetic or w/e that makes her preemptively hostile to even those without negative motives, etc), etc.

I don't think she doesn't also love Vicky as a sister, and Amy sure would love to stop feeling this way about Vicky, she's just sorta given up on it because of... well, everything. As we see in Interlude 3, she's sorta close to giving up in general.

Like, there's a lot that Vicky could try - trying to find Amy a girlfriend would be A1, I think, at least in her mind at first, given the double dates pattern. Hopefully she might realize trying double dates given Amy's feelings towards Dean (which Vicky would have a better understanding of now) is probably not a good idea at first, but she might try for that.

I think she'd definitely push harder to get Amy to stop working at the hospital, not that that's all that likely to work, at least not so easily.

Obviously it's not like this is a magic path to mental health for Amy - even if she was willing to admit all this and more to a therapist, and I think it would take some prodding from Vicky to get her there, assuming Vicky even would, you'd need to find a therapist she could 115% trust. About all of it.

I don't think Vicky would tell Carol, though it is hard to say, as I can imagine circumstances where she might.

I do think Vicky would be a lot less inclined to take Amy to places or parties or w/e with her as a way to like, 'make' her socialize, because she might realize that that's still reinforcing the 'Vicky is my main social outlet' problem Amy has. She can't just force Amy to be social - that's likely why she wanted the double dates, and doing other stuff with Amy as a way to get her to have more of a social life (and probably figuring 'having Dean makes me much happier, getting Amy someone to date will make her happier!).

But it wouldn't be to the point of like, pushing Amy away entirely.

On her own, there's only so much Vicky can do to urge Amy to help herself, but the very fact that Vicky knows and doesn't hate her, and indeed, still loves her (as a sister) would do quite a lot, I think, to lessen the crippling/paralyzing degree of guilt that's always eating at Amy over this. Not get rid of it entirely, nor overnight, but... it would lessen it.

And with that being lessened, Amy's ability to actually try and her ability to muster the relevant emotional and mental energy to try and find a different social outlet, to maybe get help... maybe I'm just being hopeful, wishful thinking or whatever, but I think the odds of her attempting those things, and being successful, especially with Vicky giving her that push...

I think they're better.

To circle around back to Victoria herself - she's not gonna be thrilled to hear all this, I think. Definitely a little uncomfortable and grossed out, though hopefully she keeps that mostly to herself, at first (so as not to make things worse for Amy.) if Amy gets some therapy, so too should Vicky here. I wonder if Vicky might actually wonder if her Aura played a role, second guessing herself and all. She might actually blame herself for not noticing Amy was gay sooner, for not seeing what was going on, for not trying harder to get Amy other social outlets and thus continuing to let Amy only have her, etc.

That wouldn't be fair of Vicky to herself, but I don't she's incapable of that sort of self-attacking perfectionism. She is Glory Girl, after all, her whole power schtick is about the illusion and aura (ha!) of invincibility and perfection and if nothing else, she's Amy's big sister, she's supposed to be there to help her and all that, and she might feel like she completely failed.

Any road to Amy getting over her feelings for Vicky and getting to a place of better mental health is a hard one, and a long one. It's not simple, nor is it something that would for a particularly... dynamic fic, per se, but -

As much as it pains me to admit, one place where that road starts, one of the few places it could from a specific onscreen canon moment, is here, at the bank, if Tattletale had actually not held her tongue, if she just had kept talking a bit more.

[lowkeyrobin]

Hello I was wondering if you’d be able to write a Ranboo x Gender neutral reader, and they both just got into a heated argument that left them both crying (only if you’re comfortable with writing something like this, I’d not I completely understand, also thank you for your concern, I really appreciate it) :)

honestly struggled to find smthn to make an argument out of but I think I got something! oneshots are a little difficult for me bc I get burned out and I think the actions but can't find the right words LMAOOOO ; but this is totally find to request dw!! and of course, if you ever need to talk my messages are always open 🫶🫶🫶 ; also istg I have other ranboo headers they're just in my drafts bc I've only been working on reqs lately LMFAO

RANBOO ; burnout

summary ; youre both burned out and stressed, and take it out on each other

warnings ; language, fighting, reader is described/talked about as a writer, angry mischaracterization (it makes sense in context trust me)

word count ; 1.4k

masterlist

Both you and Ranboo had been working your asses off recently.

They had themselves so tied down to content creation that it was becoming a personal prison cell. It was like everything he did was only to appease his fans, and he didn't know how to just calm down and slow things down for his well being. From the constant, long streams to the talks with merch and production teams, it never ended. Plus, the infinite cycle of scrolling online to see all the hate they received, it was becoming too much.

You, on the other hand, constantly kept working and working through the lack of motivation and burnout with no breaks. No matter how much people reassured you that you could take a break and you didn't have to stick to a schedule, it didn't do anything. You were determined to fill out each and every request even if you barely had any idea what you were doing, you'd stay up late trying to block out what to write and how to put it into words to appease your followers. Three times a day, seven days a week, every day of the month, about 2000 posts a year, if you kept that up.

You were dedicated to writing, you loved it, and you loved that you were able to turn something you loved into a job considering "real" jobs didn't work out for you. You had streaming, but you only did that if you were writing or needed ideas or help every once in a while and wanted to share any progress and whatnot. Your eyes tended to be bloodshot on the regular, being pulled down by saggy, dark eyebags.

You trudge into the kitchen, taking a cold bowl of mac and cheese and some water back to your office with you. Ranboo glares at you from the couch, holding his phone to his ear as he talks to some big guy with money, most likely. He doesn't say anything, but you notice the look on his face, his eyes glaring daggers into you as you walk away.

You sit back down at your chair, not even touching your food. You stare at the screen, your eyes slightly protected by the dark mode you'd reinforced on the website. Your mind was blank, empty, vacant, muddled. There were no thoughts behind your glazed eyes.

Your head pounded in pain, caused by all the blue light absorption you'd been taking in recently. God, Ran hated that. How you'd fucking complain of a headache and only do everything to worsen it. It pissed him off. It made him want to yell at you to just shut up about it, considering you didn't want to do anything to help yourself.

You type away at the keyboard once more, every button press causing a little click or clack to immerse from it. The keys light up a particular shade of white, a smooth wave like pattern glazing across it once more. You stop again, unable to finish the sentence once more.

You groan and lean back in your seat, feeling the utter disgust around you. You oh so desperately needed to sit in the shower and cry, considering your stress and pain, but you couldn't. You needed to make these people happy, you owed them. You owed them for giving you a stable job and a roof over your head, the least you could do was have their requests out within a few days.

You sit and ponder about your partner. You were sure there was no love left anymore. Both of you were too financially dependent on one another to up and leave, so it had to work for now.

Ranboo, now not on the phone, nearly slams the door of your office open, smelling the ice cold pasta you hadn't even touched a few feet away. He's quick to raise his voice with a stern tone, pissed off at you once again.

"Dude, I told you dinner was ready an hour ago, what the fuck? And then you just bring it in here and don't even touch it just to stare at the damn screen some more? Are you fucking kidding?"

You roll your eyes, not wanting to deal with this again. "Fuck's it matter? This is my job, Ranboo"

"Your job isn't to please everyone who acts nice to you. Your job is to write quality content and not complain about burning yourself out or headaches that you could easily solve by touching grass! Go outside, this isn't even a job. You don't do anything other than write some stupid fantasy all day and feed into people's delusions, Y/n!" He quickly rants, scoffing at the end.

"Holy shit, you're one to talk! Meh meh, meh, I'm so miserable, and I do all these long streams for my fans, and I treat my partner like shit because I never spend time with them and enable their unhealthy behaviors! I take out my anger on them because I'm a lonely asshole." You quickly spit back, standing up from your chair.

They scoff, stepping towards you a bit, "You're so pathetic, I never want to hear you come to me with your problems again. You're dependent on me. You barely get any money off of that, let alone any to pay rent or buy your own groceries. Get into the real world where talking to fancy businessmen and actually working for your money is all you do! Walk in my shoes for one day!"

You roll your eyes again and scoff, "You don't think this is an actual job? I could say the same to you! You play video games all fucking day and beg for Twitch subs! Just because you have a fancy merch line and have some stupid show you're working on doesn't make you all high and mighty and more important than anyone else!"

"It does, actually, you have no room to complain! If you need a break, you can go take it. My schedule is busy every hour of the day, I have no time to do shit! You're an overbearing, selfish asshole!"

Now that got the waterworks going, that's what got you beyond the point of just petty arguing to genuinely fighting. You have no room to complain, yet you spend all day just trying to make people happy and not hate you, to just pump content out and pretend like you're okay. You bottle up your emotions so he won't have to worry about you, yet you're overbearing and selfish.

"You are such a fucking asshole! Everything needs to be about you, doesn't it? Every single fucking thing in the world, huh? Fine, screw you" You turn to grab the bowl of food, and quickly, out of sheer anger, throw it at him, shattering the ceramic bowl. "I hope I never see you again, go fuck yourself. You don't deserve shit of what you have, your platform, your friends, your money, anything. I hope your whole online empire comes crumbling down and you're left with nothing"

You snatch up your phone, wallet, and keys, quickly stomping past him as tears drip down your cheeks. He stands there, appalled as tears well in his glassy eyes. He tries to chase you outside once he realizes you're serious, but you'd already slammed the door so hard it might as well have fallen off the hinges. He wipes his eyes, cheeks a light red due to the sheer amount of anger he felt in the moment. He was soaked in cold mac and cheese, ruining his white hoodie.

Once the adrenaline wasn't coursing through his veins anymore, he sits himself on the kitchen floor, the cold tile against his hands being used as a grounding technique. Some ceramic dust lays on his shoes, some liquid cheese being smeared against his hoodie as he tries to use a towel to wipe the access off.

Fuck, what did he just do?

He sits in silence, rethinking the situation as tears slowly stream down his face.

He could only hope that you were safe on that bus to nowhere. That bus you used to just go anywhere but home, just to escape the horrible life you lived inside that house. The house that bound you to its walls so you couldn't escape.

You couldn't escape the pain of your popular online presence or the pain of being trapped in that house any longer. Finally, it broke, the enchantment that kept you sealed inside.

Someone had to leave, and it looked like it was going to be you this time around.

[male-reader-haven]

~That Horrible, Wonderful Feeling~

Author note:

Here is chapter 1 of the project I've been working so long on!! I'm super passionate about this storyline, so I'm hoping you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it. As of right now, I have about 4 chapters completed, and depending on how well this is received I plan on posting them as well. Enjoy your Namjoon crumbs, there is SO much more to come!

Chapter 1: Ideal Woman

Namjoon's POV as he deals with prying reporters, stalkers, and some unwarranted feelings that send him spiraling. How can he claim to know and protect his fellow members if he doesn't even know himself? Y/N, one of 8 members of the worldwide popular K-pop boyband BTS, slowly helps Namjoon along in his journey of self-discovery and acceptance, dealing with his own feelings along the way.

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x male idol Y/N

TW: Stalking, internalized homophobia, heavier topics, invasion of privacy, slight NSFW, 18+

Word count: 2801

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“Now, RM, the fans are dying to know. What are your ideal traits in a girl?” The interviewer smiled and held out the microphone towards Namjoon expectantly. The camera pans over to his face and he forces a smile and glances down.

What a stupid fucking question. 

He is so tired of being asked the same questions. Although he knew it was bound to happen due to BTS being worldwide famous idols, still, indulging reporters and tabloids who are constantly hungry for new content and scandals to feed their prying gossipers is so exhausting.

“Ah, well, you know, we all are focusing on our career and don’t have time for anything like that.” He avoids the question, hoping the reporter will drop it. She doesn’t catch on. She has a smile that is too wide and obviously faked. Honestly, Namjoon is pretty sure this american interviewer doesn’t even really know BTS too well or even listen to their music.

“Come on, everyone has a type. ARMY wants to know what kind of woman is RM’s type?” 

As if you can speak for ARMY.

“Why do you care?” Namjoon snaps. He surprises himself with his response and immediately follows it up. “I-I mean, it doesn’t really matter. As long as they love and accept me, I guess.” He saves it the best he can. The interviewer stares him down.

“Awe, how sweet. Well before you go Namjoon, we just gotta know! There have been rumors going around that you secretly have a girlfriend! Is it true? Should we be expecting an announcement soon?” As she speaks, pictures flash across the screen of Namjoon caught in the street taking pictures with a fan. Namjoon feels frustration bubble up, not only at the accusation but at the lack of privacy and how the tabloids must have been following him around taking pictures.

“Wow. Really? Shameless.” He loses his patience. “I don’t appreciate being followed and stalked everywhere I go, you know. She is a fan and we took a picture. Sorry I couldn't satisfy your gossip.” He can’t stop himself. “Do you guys really get paid for this? Pushing this  scummy, heteronormative agenda on celebrities hoping for a sliver of drama just so you can get a few clicks in by exaggerating and lying? We are people too, just like you. Normal people. So no, you don't get to make assumptions about me or pry into my life.”

“Heteronormative? Are you saying you are something other than straight? Is this official?” The woman interjects. Namjoon is fuming.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Namjoon gets up and storms away from the lit up booth and over to his staff, who briskly apologize to the interviewer and team and take him back to the studio.

Namjoon knows he went too far. Luckily his agent made sure that the interview would be scrapped and not published, but that is now an entire news group that BigHit won’t ever get an interview with again. Honestly they didn’t need the extra publicity, since at this point any company would be more than ecstatic to host an interview from BTS, but this was supposed to be a series of solo interviews from each of the artists, which would have no doubt been popular. Still, he didn't feel bad. Too many times have people asked BTS questions about their private lives and tried exposing them with false accusations and start scandals, none of which ever stick due to ARMY being so protective of them, but it took a toll on their mental health sometimes. Namjoon sinks into the back seat of the car as he looks out the window, listening to the patter of rain on the roof and watching the street lights reflect off the dripping window. 

My ideal woman, huh?

He reflects. Everywhere he goes where people ask him these questions, they always say “ideal girl” or “woman,” always assuming he is straight. I mean, he IS straight, but it bothers him nonetheless. It’s not like anyone bothers to ask, they always just assume. He knows that people just want to hear him talk about specific traits and types to fulfill people’s fantasies. It seems people also assume that all ARMYs are straight fangirls. It’s 2023, how are people still pushing heteronormative standards? He takes out his phone to see new messages in the BTS group chat.

WWH: How’d the interview go?

Namjoon sighed and typed out his response.

Me: Horribly. Pretty sure I ruined it for   all of us, sorry guys. JK: How so?  Me: I lost it and kind of snapped V: Dang, sounds like they deserved it then.  No worries man, probably for the best Me: Stupid private questions. I got  too pissed though, it is my fault, but still Y/N: Ew, don’t they have anything better to do? Jimin: Fr. Don’t feel bad, I would have  been short tempered too J-hope: Does this mean we have a free  weeknd? WWH: Nice spelling J-hope: thx dad JK: Hell yeah, let's do a movie night! (read by SUGA, WWH, J-hope, and 4 others)

Namjoon puts his phone away and looks out the window again. 

“Are you saying you are something other than straight? Is this official?” 

The woman’s words echo in his head longer than he would have liked. Namjoon has always liked women, that he is certain of. Ever since he was little he had crushes on disney princesses and actresses all the time. He had his fair share in heartbreaks and girlfriends in school too. Ever since becoming an idol, however, everything relating to romance seems to have left his life and been put in the back of his mind. He knows it's because they are idols that they aren't allowed to publicly date. That isn’t to say however that he didn't fantasize about having a partner or being in a romantic relationship. Despite BTS being his family and never truly being alone, he couldn’t help feeling lonely in some ways. These days, Namjoon finds himself stuck in his room working even in his free time. Maybe this weekend becoming suddenly free would be a blessing after all.

Namjoon walks into what he and BTS know as the “safehouse,” which is a large home away from the city where all 8 members have access at all times and their own separate rooms. They usually go to the safehouse when they want to meet up, have events and parties or just whenever they want to get out to somewhere private from their own separate homes. The other members are already gathered around in the dining room as he comes through the door.

“Hey, there he is! Welcome to the finest restaurant in all of Korea.” Hoseok yells over from the table where they are all feasting on what looks like bbq.

“Join us, I slaved away at making this for all of you, congratulate me.” Jin’s bubbly voice calls.

“As if. All you did was order the food hyung, don’t act like you prepared it!” Jimin teases Jin and reaches over to put some beef over the bbq and then dips it in some sauce.

“Ah, perfect. I’m starving.” Namjoon puts away his things and sits down in the empty chair next to Y/N. They all get into food and conversation, laughing and smiling and having a great time.

“I’m curious, what did she ask you that sent you over the edge?” Jungkook quired, sitting back as Taehyung brought over some beers.

“The interviewer started asking about my ideal type of woman, a question which I can usually dodge, but she was persistent. Then they pulled up pictures of me back when I was visiting Switzerland where I met a fan and they tried to frame it like a secret girlfriend situation.”

“They followed you to Switzerland?” Y/N looked up, a disgusted look on his face.

“Guess so. Anyways after that she-” Namjoon cuts himself off.

 “Are you saying you are something other than straight? Is this official?” Her words came bubbling up again, making him feel nauseous.

“She what?” Taehyung presses. Namjoon shakes his head.

“Nothing. I just got pissed, snapped at her and left after that.” He avoids eye contact with any of them, hoping someone will change the subject.

“I think you were in the right. I would have been so snarky.” Yoongi speaks up from the corner seat. 

“Yeah, don’t think about it too much man. There will always be more interviews, with better and more respectful people.” Jungkook says, trying to make him feel better.

The conversation shifts from there and as the night goes on, the boys get more and more inebriated. Jin is practically howling from laughter at Hoseok, who is falling over in his chair with his face bright red. Jimin is half asleep, Jungkook is not far behind him, and Taehyung is talking about some nonsense with Yoongi. Y/N and Namjoon seem to be the better off in the bunch, simply making stupid jokes and laughing at the other members. Namjoon speaks up.

“I’m drunk, gonna turn in for the night. As should all of you.”

“I think Jimin is already there.” Jin laughs and points at Jimin, who is face flat on the table.

“I’ll take him to his room.” Jungkook sighs and lifts Jimin up and carries him away. The other members eventually all go to their respective rooms also. Namjoon makes his way to his room. 

Namjoon closes his door and goes to get ready for bed. His tipsiness makes him stumble sometimes, but he manages to get changed and brush his teeth. After getting ready, he practically falls into his bed and crawls underneath the light brown and white covers. He drifts into thought.

Ideal woman… 

Namjoon starts thinking about what he finds attractive. He imagines lean, fit bodies and smooth skin. Silky hair and slightly parted lips. Sparkling eyes and light voices that entice him. He imagines a pair of hands caressing his face, feels the hands move down his neck and to his chest, constantly moving. The hands then become arms attached to a lean and skinny body, a dancer’s body. He feels the body with his own hands, moving to the sides of the person and down to their hips. The person materializes even more, revealing defined abs that lead to a man’s chest and strong thighs that straddle Namjoon’s middle, masculine shoulders that carry beauty and grace. The person is a beautifully built man. The face is blurred, but he can make out plump lips that shine, half parted in a silent breath. The figure leans down into Namjoon, hands on his chest and head as it gets closer to his face. Namjoon is lost in a trance by this beautiful person, and leans in to meet his lips with theirs, when he is met with air. He opens his eyes to his empty room and him in bed.

What a strange dream. 

He winces as he adjusts under the covers and discovers that he is partially hard.

Great, just what I need. 

He doesn’t have the energy to fix it right now, so he just takes a deep breath and ignores it. Eventually, Namjoon drifts off to sleep.

The next day arrives quickly, and the members are all hung over in the house waking each other up and groaning in the living room.

“What’s everyone’s plans today?” Jimin pipes up, cheerfully, as if he didn't get absolutely wasted the night before. J-hope looks up at him from his fetal position.

“How are you a real person?” 

“Yoongi-ssi and I were going fishing if anyone wants to join us.” Jin puts the offer out there, to which nobody volunteers.

“I thought you hate fishing?” Y/N asks Yoongi.

“I do, but it makes Jin hyung happy. And it's more fun with friends.” Yoongi half spoke, half groaned his response.

“Awe, he does have a heart!” Jimin teased. Yoongi curled deeper into his blanket in response.

“I want to go hiking today, anyone want to come with? We can get ramyeon after and karaoke!” Jungkook suggests.

“Oh, that sounds fun! I'll come.” Hoseok blinks the sleepy away from his eyes and nods.

“Jimin and I will come too.” Taehyung holds up his arm.

“Do I get any say in this?” Jimin smacks Taehyung’s shoulder.

Guess that leaves Namjoon and Y/N. Namjoon turns to him.

“Would you be interested in going to the National Folk Museum of Art in Seoul? I haven’t been there in a while.” Namjoon and Y/N both share a passion for minimalistic art and artists as well as art history. Y/N looked up at him and smiled through groggy eyes.

“Sure, that sounds fun!” 

Cute. 

“Sounds like we all got plans then! Get up and get going boys, or these hangovers are gonna take your Friday away.” Jin initiates the march to get ready for the day and get going. As everyone gets up and gets ready to leave, Namjoon also stands up. Y/N stays on the couch for a second before groaning and putting his arms out.

“Help me up hyung, i'm dying.” Namjoon smiles and exaggeratedly pulls Y/N up from the couch.

“I take it I will be driving us?” Y/N teases.

“It’s safer for us and the universe that I don’t.” Namjoon laughs and lets Y/N go upstairs. He trips over the first step, making Namjoon smile.

Was he always this adorable?

Some time goes by and Namjoon gets a text.

Y/N: I’ll be ready in 15, meet me in my car? Me: SOunds good Y/N: Lol typo

He puts his phone away and gets ready. After 15 minutes of looking for a good art museum outfit (he decides on jeans and a hoodie because he couldn't decide) Namjoon heads downstairs and to the parking lot to meet Y/N. He sees the light mint green beetle with its engine on and in the driver’s seat is Y/N, in what looks to be a brown sweater and a green beret with thin circle glasses. He opens the passenger door and buckles his seatbelt.

“You look nice! Perfect for the museum.” Namjoon compliments his outfit.

“Ah, a classic Namjoon look.” Y/N laughs, pointing out Namjoon’s plain outfit.

“Yeah well, I'm okay with being inconspicuous.” 

“You will be my staff as I get all the attention!!” Y/N smiles and gives Namjoon’s shoulder a light punch. Namjoon looks around the inside of Y/N’s car, taking it all in. The interior is light brown and clean, Y/N likes to keep his things tidy. On the windshield mirror is hanging a car freshener that looks like a daisy. Y/N turns on his bluetooth and connects his phone to the radio.

“Any music suggestions?” He asks Namjoon.

“I want to listen to what you want. What are you listening to these days?” Namjoon inquires. It has been a while since he hung out with any of the members one on one. Y/N nods and scrolls through his phone as if it was a super important decision.

“I need to find songs that you wont judge me for.” Y/N laughs, half joking.

“You know I listen to a bit of everything, not much can surprise me.” Namjoon reassures him. Y/N smiles and a song begins to play. Namjoon recognizes it as Troye Sivan’s “Lucky Strike.” Y/N bops his head along to the music and looks at Namjoon for approval.

“I know Troye Sivan. He has a great voice.” 

“God, what I would GIVE to do a collab with him!” Y/N reels, then puts the car in reverse and they set off. The car ride is pleasant and calming as they take turns recommending songs and vibing to them, moments of silent listening as well as gushing about artists they like.

“I wish we could be more open in our music. Like Troye Sivan or Frank Ocean.” Y/N expresses. “I mean, I know we technically can, and there is nothing wrong with expressing your true self through music, but I feel like we have to be so on edge because of how many people listen to our music.” Namjoon understands what he means.

“I get it. We have to tiptoe around certain topics because of how international our reach is.” Y/N nods solemnly to Namjoon's response.

“Yeah. I just wish I could write about what I want without worrying about scandals. We write about girls all the time, I'd love to write a boy love song.” Y/N is focused on the road. Namjoon turns to look at him when he says that, but doesn't say anything. They bop their heads to music the whole way, Y/N making silly gestures and expressions to the music as he drives. A slight burning feeling arises in Namjoon's chest, and upon realizing he is staring quickly glances away and swallows.

Must still be hungover.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaaaaa what did you guys think?!?! I have SO much more written that I'm excited to share with you about this story. If you enjoyed and want to see more chapters please show this some love and tell me what you think below!!!

Stay tuned, Jae loves you <3

[rikas-things]

Diabolik Alcoholik part 2

|||This is part 2 of the Diabolik Alcoholik series I'm working on (it's a fan parody, that's why the name is so weird lol. If you need context, here's Part 1 👇 👇 👇

I also have a table of contents for the rest of the series here:

Yui looked around in horror as he was on top of her, the heat of his breathing hitting her ear, terrified of what he was gonna do to her if she let this continue.

There was horror- and something else growing inside of her as well.

"...Me," she muttered as tears dirtied her face.

"Huh?" His voice lacked any threatening undertone as he asked, now replaced with confusion.

She managed to dig her heel into his crotch, making extra sure to get as deep into his skin as possible.

"I said get off me!!"

Once freed from his hold, she flung him off like a dirty towel before glowering at his now slumped body.

What a creep, she thought to herself in disgust, dusting herself off as if the boy's very being was making her filthy.

She then widened her pink eyes and thought for a moment.

That shock then immediately turned into panic as the realization of her actions hit her like a truck.

"Oh no! Now I really look like a criminal!"

Her panic took over all of her reason as she hopelessly flailed her arms around in a frenzy.

"I gotta think of something! But what do I do?! What do I-"

She stopped at the sound of someone's footsteps that were right in front of her, to her horror.

She turned her head and was face to face with a bespeckled young man with black hair and dull red eyes, his pupils like that of a snake's.

He was in a similar uniform as the red-headed boy was in, but much more competently dressed, with his jacket and pants nicely pressed, as well as his hair being nicely slicked back; accompanied with the red vest and towel he held on his arm, she might've mistaken him for a butler.

He took a glance at the slumbering body of the boy on the floor before returning to eye her suspiciously, his already narrow eyes even thinner.

Her panic was through the roof as she continued to flail her arms.

"Well, uh," she swayed her body left to right as she thought of what to say, "w-well, don't you just want to call the police...?"

After that last part she nervously rubbed her index fingers against each other, half of her hoping he would actually do so.

Instead he merely raised a confused brow at her before literally throwing her out of the door, her body flying out with incredible speed before she hit the muddy ground beneath her.

Once she fell face first into the mud, she turned and called back to him.

"Wait! You forgot my-" before she could finish, the item in question, her suitcase, was barreling towards her at full speed.

Before she could move, it hit her square in the head, knocking her out cold.

Once he was sure she was down for the count, he shut the door behind him to leave her in the mud for who knew how long.

She truly had been laying in that muddy ground until night befell the area and the rain had long since stopped.

She finally awoke and pushed her luggage off of her-whoever packed it must've been trying to fit her entire wardrobe in there, it felt like it weighed close to her own weight.

As she sat up, she examined the small brown patch that clung to her cheek.

She grimaced at it.

"I hope this is just dirt..."

As she reluctantly wiped it off, she was met with the sight of the dapper young man and an older, dark brown-haired man accompanying him while they both held candle lights.

"You came back from me? Why?"

She didn't bother to hide her confusion.

Not losing that stern expression he had before, the young man adjusted his glasses.

"Please come with me."

[p-receh]

Hi! No neg to you at all but i really need to get this out so feel free to ignore :D

I feel like fandoms as a whole has started to become WAY too comfortable in telling their creators what to do. The drama, complaints, and overall neg that i've seen people spewing to monsta is disheartening.

Critics are fine here and there, especially when mentioned in a respectable way. But people seem to forget that nothing is perfect, they see a flaw and just... zero in on it

Monsta can't satisfy everyone. Heck NO creator can satisfy everyone, but complaining about the thing something is lacking and saying negative things about the creators is helping absolutely NO ONE.

If anything it makes the creators ignore you, at worse double down or get disheartened and stop creating as a whole. Other than that it creates a negative sphere that makes some people (who were fine and enjoying this thing they like) to also feel unsatisfied or be negative as well.

ITS RUINING THE FUN FOR EVERYONE

I feel like these people don't realize how HARD it is to create let alone make a show.. its actually something i've realized in media consumption over the years; people have consumed so much media that they believe they "know whats best" or "understand better how to create this and that"

Creating is not easy. It takes time. It takes skill. WRITING isn't easy. ART isn't easy. ANIMATING isn't easy.

You want a specific episode that cater to what you like and how you want the characters to be? Write it. Genuinely write it.

Thats what fanart is for, fanfiction, fananimation.

Want something? Make it yourself. People have been spoon feed with free content that includes 3 seasons worth of a show, 2 seasons of its sequel show, 2 movies, AND comics.

And again. THESE ARE ALL FREE.

People do not REALIZE how privileged they are.

Do you know how many content now that is under a paywall? Do you know how incredible and generous it is to be given free content of an animated show for years?

To be given a show that is so obviously made with passion and love?

And still having the nerve to complain that its not the way how some people want or like it to..

Write it. To those who fully believe they know how things should be created, then do it yourself. Make a script and give it to them. Make a fanfic. Make an AU. Make art. MAKE WHAT EVER IT IS YOUR COMPLAINING ABOUT OR MADE YOU DISSATISFIED

Sorry about the long rant, this is in no way directed to you, been really peeved with how ungrateful people have been (getting that much free content in anything is a privilege some do not realize). Thinking its so easy to make a free show.

Anyway can't wait to see the continuation of your AU :D

Allahuakbar—THAT'S A LONG TED TALK wwwwwwwww X'D

Lmao I was not ready for a minute with how long your ask was, so of course I couldn't ignore this! wkwkwkw

Ehem.

Truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu 100%!

I am new to this fandom but it genuinely got me a headache. Even with the recent drama "Boboiboy is more likely a fan service franchise now!" or "Why monsta always treat Boboiboy only and abandoning their supporting characters? This is why Ejen Ali is better!" and many other drama that I don't need to know in the past.

Like... Puh-lease. Don't you guys know how much it blessed that they released their show full HD on YouTube? Both TV and movie series? Released their comic on webtoon for free?

Maybe you guys didn't realize how illogical that sound for outside of... I dunno, maybe from sea countries. Like Japan with their infamous strict rules for any franchise when they promote their products.

(and with how ridiculous what had westerns entertainment corporations did to consumers, so pirating on us and Europe almost became a norm?)

Monsta I'd say is genius. They knew they cannot apply the same way with how the Japan did, and thus they find a way to make their show release without losing any money. Even me personally still find that strategy is "somewhat" illegal. But for SEA countries? I can understand why they choose this path. Because that's how The some of franchises from my country did that too to promote their products.

Buuuut does it make the corporate go impecunious?

Now that my friend, it all comes down with the quality and the general public reception themselves.

(I can give you examples buuuut it gonna be longer and might subjective since I don't have any uh... Marketing background knowledge)

Therefor Monsta creatively managed to survive that obstacle. Their shows already big enough across the SEA nations and beyond; their comics and card battle themselves are heavily sold out, and even managed to release on theater in Japan!

Aaaaaaaaand then again, anon. This is internet.

Sometimes criticism could cause endless of drama that never ends. And it's absolutely unhealthy. Uurggh..

Yet in rare occasions, consumer criticism had their own benefits. Like the infamous Gremlin Movie Sonic before Paramount had to change because of the internet. (HUGE internet criticism If you guys don't know)

It really is a gamble to take any discourse if their take was supporting and even disowning some product. Especially on the internet where you could freely critics without hearts content.

I admit I myself have my complaints but tbf, at the of the day I don't mind with what Monsta give to their product. In fact, I respect with how much they take risk to correcting their mistakes from the very first Boboiboy Series up until now.

Nobody's perfect anyway, so I highly appreciate it they way Monsta tried to please anyone.

But that's the beauty of the Fan Art. Whether in form of music, visuals, literary, and any kind of medium to ensure that franchise still has an active community with tons of new ideas to share for their franchises. Big or small.

Fan art for me is a clarification whether the franchise is acceptable to their target market or not. If no one creates it, I consider that franchise is failure and not exist.

"The difference between fanfic and a "real" novel is that fanfic is honest about its inspiration."

-Mary Robinette Kowal

"There's a time and place for everything, and I believe it’s called 'fan fiction'."

-Joss Whedon

Tho...

Why would someone would want to waste their talents for creating fan art that they didn't even like it at first?

I specifically refer to people who made fan art clearly for hate or trigger people who liked it, not for earning money(that's another story to tell)

What a pity to waste time, ya know?

Like, touch some grass dude :/

[inchidentally]

ok so I'm going to another of tricky asks below - prob just skip since I can tell I'm repeating myself a lot lol

if I hadn't gotten asks about it I wouldn't have known that a subsection of dando people were as serious as they were which is… odd to me. I totally get shipping dando for fun and that Daniel and Lando are buddies but. why pick the guy who's friends with everyone he meets and pretend that is the guy Lando's "secretly in love with" or that they're "more" friends than Lando's other friends... just bc they hang sometimes kasgfkaglh

I've got to stop trying to find any sense in rpf truthers.

but yea Lando and Martin are so sweet together and I hope Martin doesn't have to deal w any of this bullshit in his comments. guy is just enjoying traveling with Lando and vice versa.

(no worries anon I got your intent!)

honestly from a straight up racing perspective it's enough evidence in itself. the fact that Lando has repeatedly said how well Oscar suits McLaren and is pushing him to be his absolute best is all anyone should need.

but also look at the standings! Carlos and Charles, Lando and Oscar - they're doing amazingly well with the current partnerships !! it's why Carlos is so eager to remain where he is, he's already in the best place for him to get not just another race win but a shot at WDC. Lando and Oscar are a natural part of the McLaren youth legacy and Max has pipped them as being his biggest potential headaches in 2024 lol. everything is good and we still get plenty of car|ando content so let's leave it alone!

oh babe I'm sorry that was misleading there's no extensive drama (that I know of) back when I started following Lando content I noticed that the LN4 account (mainly the twitter one) is run by people who get waaaayyyy too into pushing rpf ships for my comfort. I'm massively against containment breaches between fandom to official accounts.

if other ppl enjoy it then it's their choice but it's not my cup of tea!

honestly this is just how it's going to be from here on out. Liberty Media and Netflix already have relationships with certain podcasts and social media accounts and "bromances" are an easy way to get merch, subscriptions and tickets sold. as a sort of fake fan myself I rly can't be on any high horse about "real fans" lol but I do at least keep all my silly shit on tumblr and ao3 alone.

block and unfollow like crazy, anon. eventually your algorithm will learn like mine has!

when has Lando never not been fun ??? he did the screechy laugh Spanglish fun with Carlos, the doofy fake gay fun with Daniel and now he's gen z funny w Oscar whennnn did Lando ever stop being fun oml

babe it wasn't even that, he was replying to the millionth person asking about his and Esteban's lack of personal friendship and he said that no one should assume a friendship between two drivers. he never said "Charles and Carlos hate each other" agflaslfsa as if F1 media wouldn't be all over that

-----

ok so there were two others that I'm not going to screenap bc I do NOT want the heat for those opinions lol.

to answer without being too specific: everyone knows how I feel about people who invent conspiracy theories about girlfriends and wowwww that is a leap. and yea shouldn't the fact that they both went offline when we knew them to be alone together at his ranch actually be evidence that they're really in love and not needing to broadcast it ?? that he only pops back up when he's hanging out w guy friends?

I will have a good laugh that ppl managed to leap to not only them having broken up in the past week with zero evidence but that Lando suddenly hopped a plane to "comfort him" and finally be a gay couple jesussss

ok guys this is as much time as I can stomach knowing about this side of fandom for a good while.

remember: block, blacklist, gatekeep, stay safe out there xx

[shamrock313]

Emma Roberts and Cody John

This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Please take everything you read with a grain of salt. Enjoy!

EMMA POV: 6 of Wands + 3 of Cups (rev) + Empress = 6oW indicates a bright future for her and Cody. Success in love. Chance to fulfill relationship goal. So, we're all aware she's engaged and she has been before, so there's a chance for her to actually go down the aisle. Very happy w/ relationship.

3oC (R) asks if she really wants to be married especially if its to him. "ensure that you are not masking your feelings w/ superficial cheer". Basically, be honest with yourself and don't put yourself in a place where you feel you're not truly happy.

Empress is of course about motherhood, so I cannot confirm if she will have a child for Cody, but she might have a chance to whether it's natural or with a surrogate/IVF. Stable, serious, committed relationship. Again, this card represents marriage / pregnancy.

CODY POV: 4 of Swords + 7 of Cups (rev) = 4oS means that he takes time away from her to reset himself. Alone time. Taking a break. Puts a lot into this relationship. Tired / burnout. Often disagreeing with one another that he has to walk away, be with his thoughts, and ask himself if this is what he wants.

7oC (R) Chaotic and confusing love life. Lacks clarity about relationship. Constantly 2nd guesses himself. I think he also may be wondering if they're really going to go down the aisle too.

Dynamic: Knight of Cups + Page of Swords (side) = KoC Romance, attraction, being in love with love, and unrealistic expectations on love. PoS (U) Emotional needs not being met. Small / petty disputes may turn into bigger conflicts. Again, they really need to see if being married is the right choice for them. (Rev) Argumentative / communication issues. Lack of honesty / there is a liar within this relationship.

Cody as a Person: The Magician (rev) - So, I don't know anything about Cody. I know he's an actor, he's with Emma, and that's it. I've never seen any of his work. Anyways, tarot says he's indecisive and insecure. "May swing from overconfidence to self-doubt". People probably don't even know about this side to him. "He's a pretty face that is insecure with himself".

Okay, pause. What you're about to read next is Emma as a person. Now, ya'll may not believe in tarot and some may read this for entertainment, but when I tell you I had to stop and laugh. OMG. This hit every nail on the head. Get your snack and drink ready.

If you are a fan of this woman, don't read this. Just go ahead and scroll pass this and find some other content.

Emma as a Person: Knight of Swords (rev) + Death (rev) + Temperance (rev) + Queen of Wands (rev) = KoS (R) she is reckless and acts before she thinks. Impatient and aggressive. Mood swings / outburst are what makes her relationships hard to remain stable. Being around her makes people feel nervous and uneasy of what she may do or say next.

Death (R) indicates that she's living in the past. Caught in a loop of negative thoughts. I did wonder if she recreates Evan moments with Cody. Does that make sense? Like does she take Cody to places or do activities that her and Evan use to do? Most of y'all have been in the fandom longer than I have so, if you know let me know.

Temp (R) - Erratic behavior. Brings an air of chaos. "Emotions can be seen as unpredictable as a roller coaster. She's always up and down. Beware of her presence and keep your distance". Again, makes you feel uncomfortable. Things she may say, makes you feel unworthy and she only does it to better herself. If she ruins your day, that means to her she's gonna have a great day knowing she upset you.

QoW (R) she is overbearing and manipulative. Only cares about herself. Domineering, insecure, and emotionally draining.

[ashadowofburnedoutstardust]

Hey, I'm the anon that asked about if you have any contact with Chris. Thank you for answering.

Just want to tell what I feel about this whole situation, what people called as the shitshow. I've been his fans for some years, but just not the type that dive too deep.

I even only recently know about the shitshow things. The more I dive the more I find out things, the more depressed I become. Plus the what if here and there. Because I still have doubt about both if it's PR or if it's real.

Do you think his IG is controlled by him or not ? Because I just realize it maybe not. Because how come the IG that supposedly his didn't promote his own projects properly, didn't offer condolence for the death of an actor he had worked with.

The IG felt like an empty shells, and it saddening and it trigger my anxiety just thinking he didn't even have any control over his own Social Media. He lost touch with his fans completely, while his fans losing shits split into teams, fighting over something without any kind of real closure.

Everything felt like a disaster. That's why I felt like I need to pull back and stop caring. If he didn't care, why should I ? Destroying my own mental health. I might still lurk around, but I won't think too much about it. Real or PR, whatever. I just wish he would find his bravery somewhere sometime in the future and took back his life, That's it.

Thank you. I love your posts.

Hello anon,

I don't really find the situation depressing, just curious at times, and most definitely PR but without any of the What ifs

Do I think his IG is controlled by him or not? I think at some point that will be made clear, its difficult to gauge at the moment

I have several theories about that but none worth the effort of typing out - except maybe the one about him...........😉

I wouldn't let it cause you any anxiety, it's all smoke up the fandoms ass and fart jokes are always funny

Has he lost touch with his fans? I don't think he has, and I think he cares VERY MUCH about what they've been put through because of his situation

Closure or at least the idea of it is something that whoever it is that keeps trying to pull the strings likes to hold over the fandom with the purpose of making the fandom react and appear emotional to gaslight them into appearing crazy and emotional so they can point the finger at the crazy fans while desperately pushing the buttons behind a curtain

Don't dwell on it too much

Contracts always have an end date

I will make a complaint at the lack of Josh content though, Im sure someone in this fandom has a stash of pics somewhere

I imagine Christopher will let us know when he's moved on from where he is now, and my gut feeling tells me it's not actually that far off.......

[jittyjames]

so late to this, but! for the ask game!! 5, 13 (bc i need to read more fics in both hamilton and jcs lmao), and 16!

5. i think my writing has improved a lot since i first posted mine to subdue. i think i've grown more confident with knowing what i want to say and how i want to say it. i might be wrong, but i think i've developed a style that is consistent which i'm very proud of. i basically improved on the smoothness of writing, too, i think (i could be so wrong). i basically improved all of this just by working nonstop, and writing every chance i get. i do want to write different things every now and again. i feel like my works can get repetitive very quickly, and often that's what stops me from posting if i think a fic is too similar to something i've already done, or someone else has written something under the same premise. so that's kind of what i'm working on. i want to be able to bring something fresh and unique, so i'm trying to work on expanding my vocabulary a bit more and think of new ideas.

13. oooo this is so good. first and foremost i will say, i believe fic writers (And fan artists naturally) are what keep fandoms and my fixations on them alive, so these fics have greatly impacted me in that way, and the excellence of them inspires me to keep writing and keep going. for hamilton, i have read the fics for years. i've been on ao3, fanfiction.net, and wattpad since practically the beginning. i remember when there was <100 posted on ao3. like it goes so far back. sons of libertea by fihli was my favorite fic when i was thirteen and what really got me into reading hardcore for hamilton. i haven't read it in a long time so i don't know if it holds up, but i'm sure it does. so that one is really iconic for me, and i know it was really popular at the time. i've talked about it before but the monticello furlough was a game changer for me. anything by holograms is brilliant and i die every time. and it's not just bc y'all are my pallys and kiddos, but @youreverydaydemikid @cecescomposition @fireballdance, the fics y'all write literally have me dropping whatever i'm doing to read what you post. it's so so good. like it's genuinely consistently good work that i squeal over every time. also @binch-i-might-be is an absolute icon that has kept the fandom fed for a good few years. there have also been numerous fanfics that have been deleted over the years that i adored, so we will have a moment of silence for them, but alas, it's the price i have to pay for being in a fandom that became "cringe culture" and made everyone delete their work even if it was really good.

NOW FOR JCS. it is such a small fandom, but that does not mean there is any lack of wonderful content. OBVIOUSLY, i will start by recommending anything by @solarflicker. their work is genuinely jaw dropping and i die every time. their characterizations are so good, and their stories are so well written. i could not recommend them enough. if i had to choose one, though, it would have to be judecca. like that one is one i reread practically every week. but as i said, all of them are so good. you would be doing yourself a disfavor by skipping any of them. @ohsoldier is so so good too. their good omens au is chef's kiss. picking up the palm fronds by @hobgoblinns is also very very good. beserk's jcs fics are also golden little au's that are so so good!! they have like a reincarnation au that i adore. another good reincarnation au that i love is that's what you had (but you don't have it anymore) by zartbitterpoetin. this one is so unique and well written. like it's so creativeeee. those are all a bit angsty BUT there's a really cute coffee shop fic (i think it has smut in it so be careful youngins) but it's the fic that all the people not in the fandom find and it blows their minds that people ship jesus/judas lmaooo. but it's called i'm falling for brew by framblebee. NOW I'VE RAMBLED ON THIS QUESTION FOR FAR TOO LONG SO I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH ONE MORE. you have to have an account to view it, but it is the 2012 revival fic (once again i think it had a tad bit of smut so watch for that) but so tonight that i might see by altzfic is amazing. like honestly there are so many good fics out there. it's crazy how talented people are in both of these fandoms. i could go on for ages, but i will end the rant here.

(i could genuinely make a long post of just fic recommendations for both fandoms and it would be longer that this. it's just so good.) (lemme know if y'all want that. it would take a while to collect all the links, but i would gladly boost the fics i love)

16. the worst writing advice i've ever been given was to delete everything and start over if you get stuck. my storage might hate me, but i've learned i regret very much if i delete my work. even if i don't use something in the fic i originally wrote it for, i could always use it somewhere else or expand on it and make it it's own thing. another bad piece of advice i got was never use flowery language. i resent that. i loathe that. i am a writing maximalist, my dears. i will make my writing as longwinded and drawn out as possible.

[dojae-huh]

ive been getting into 127 recently again (was only into dream for a while then rediscovered my love for doyoung) and so have been catching up on their content from 2020-2021 until now and... am I crazy to notice that taeyong gets left out a lot by the members? he used to be my bias, and I remember he would get a lot of attention. Even when he was quiet/not really talked to you could still tell he was important to the group ~vibe~ going on and others would bring him into conversation, compliment him, etc. But with the stickers, 2 baddies, nct whole group content I've been watching, it seems like he gets ignored a lot. There's a cut after every sentence he says, seems likely because of lack of any reaction from 127. Even 95 line, whose friendship I liked the most in the group, seem fragmented w Johndo and yumark. Yuta is a bit of a lone wolf, but he gets a lot of attention/reaction in a way taeyong doesn't. and Doyoung sometimes, well, blabbers (love him for it), but gets a reaction and screen time because someone will tease him, and with TY its silence...! he only rlly seems to be apart of the group content when hes tom-and-jerry-ing with doyoung, and I wonder if that's why he brings him up constantly as a bridge to the rest of the group? he can always rely on doyoung for a reaction, meanwhile every other member is looking the other way. Did something happen that I missed? I'm really not a hater, the reason I noticed this is because he was my ultbias for a while, and I was mostly fixating on him when I re-entered their content.

I act similar with things I like and fandoms. I think at different periods in life one is attracted to different sources of entertainment, personalities and stories. And, of course, even the best things get boring with time as they stop being a source of new information/excitement, so a change is needed from time to time.

My memory fades as years pass, therefore I won't be able to answer you very well, I'm sorry. It's been awhile since I watched anything from that time except for the MVs.

There was a period of time when Taeyong distanced himself from the members. Let me check tags... I asked a similar question as you in May, 2020, so the period matches, OK.

The opinions of other fans I got. My follow up.

2020-2021 is also the covid time. There was the start of JohnDo issue, end of MarkDo issue, the end of TaeJae issue, some MarkHyuk troubles, TaeWoo was still rather distant. Some members moved out from the dorms. In general it was a transitional period, after which the unit came out finally united and strong.

In NCT 127 24hr relay cam from 2019, neos mentioned how they didn't have time to get to know each other very well because they had been running non-stop all those years. Mark was surprised that Johnny has a serious side to him, Mark and Yuta had a meal, only two of them, the first time. I think the reason members appeared much more cozy with each other in the previous years is because back then their main goal was to succeed, and they were young. Jaehyun is a good example of the change from very friendly to independantly stand offish. The 95 line is similar in that regard.

Taeyong is respected, there is gratitude towards him, but he is not super close to most members. There is a difference between having a friendship/comrade bond, knowing you will always support each other and root for each other, and clicking so well as to want to spend every free time hour together. Like, Johnny will take care of him, bring him cakes, or Tae will invite him to share the food Do cooked, but to see them doing anything together, just the two of them, is rare. Despite Tae basically hanging off of Johnny like a monkey during lives or in the van from time to time. JohnMark did something creatively in the past, for example, recorded a track and silly mini-movies, JohnHyuk go to the gym together sometimes. Tae collaborated with Seulgi, nags Doyoung to feature, but nothing with DJ Johnny Bee.

Yuta is closest to Jaehyun and now Mark. I think both Yuta and Tae have too many mental problems to be of help to each other.

Side note: I think this situation is perfectly normal, members of a group are randomply selected by a 3d party, not everyone among the chosen people would befriend each other without applied pressure of circumstances. With a group of introverts it is simply more evident. A group of extraverts hides this fact by being overtly very friendly and loud.

[neeseeart]

My BooRai WIP stats

So. As of right now, the number of written BooRai fan works I've published is...... zero. I recently announced my angst fic I Can Stop The World, with another reveal planned in a few weeks, but I've yet to actually publish anything 😭

Last night I was backing up all my WIPs, and I decided to go through and reorganize everything. I moved everything into new folders and checked their word counts. I was a little surprised by the numbers to be honest. Especially when compared to this word count update from 5 months ago: [link]

I thought it would be fun to post my stats so you can see how much I've been working on, even though I haven't started posting yet.

As of last night:

Total number of Google docs: 34 Outlined fics: 21 (mostly longfics) Comic WIPs: 7 Completed fics: 1 (a one-shot I'm not ready to post yet 😭) Ideas yet to be fleshed out: 12 Total BR fanfic word count: 517,362 Words this week: about 25,000

ICSTW (main angst fic, post-canon):

196,871 words 6 docs

SSATSF (Modern AU, upcoming reveal):

125,474 words 3 docs

Folklore AU (started recently):

23,289 words 2 docs

Comics (text only)

80,795 words 7 docs

Reference docs (OC masterlist, headcanons, language dictionary, etc.)

9149 words 5 docs

Okay, pause real quick. The first BooRai fic I started writing is a fluff comic (briefly mentioned here) that I started in late 2022. It was my only project until the day I started writing ICSTW in June 2023. Then I exploded in ideas and here we are. So, if I exclude that first comic's word count of 36,190...

...Then the total word count of BooRai fanfic I've written in the past 7 months is 481,172 words. That's about 2217 words per day, and 15,522 words per week.

Now. This all just a bunch of numbers. Numbers don't mean the fics are any good. I value quality over quantity, so you can see why I haven't published anything yet. The ideas are all there! Tons and tons of dialogue is written. Detailed lore is laid out. Languages have been constructed! But the chapters themselves are not written. I don't write chronologically, and my stories are very elaborate. So even my main two fics, at 196k and 125k, are nowhere near complete. I haven't even finished fleshing out the early chapters 😭

You might be looking at this and thinking like.... "yeah bro you're not gonna finish most of those fics. It's not happening. You're gonna burn out." Mayhaps! I have a tendency to overdo things, and sometimes I overwhelm myself by making things bigger and more complicated than they need to be. But all in all, I like the way I create and I like having a few big projects and lots of tiny ones. I'm deeply invested in my major projects and I really do want to dedicate myself to publishing chapters in the next few months. But if I never finish them, that's okay too! The important thing is to enjoy making the thing... and I enjoy it immensely. Enough to write half a million words in 7 months, apparently

I've talked about my fic content to some irl people and they always respond with: "When the hell do you do all this? I literally never see you writing." In reality, yes they do. if you see me typing on my phone, I'm most likely writing. I kind of high-key spend 100% of my free time drawing and writing now. Which is a miracle after years of art block and creative sterility.

Another reason I wanted to share my numbers is that there are a lot of fellow AuDHD creators on this site, so there are bound to be at least a few of you who work just like I do. If you're one of those people, you probably know that it's easy to feel like the projects will never come to fruition. Don't lose heart!!! You have the strength to finish your projects at your own pace!!! And if you simply lack the will to finish, that's also okay! If you enjoy just writing down ideas without committing to a fully fleshed out work, that's a perfectly legitimate form of art and recreation. Godspeed my friends.

And as for the people who have been supporting my BR art and keeping track of my fic updates... You are the world and I am but a humble bean in service of your fancies. Thank you for your support. Here's a picture of me rereading my WIPs for the billionth time while y'all stand there and wait for me to start posting chapters:

(P.S. I have about 80 fic-related art WIPs on my tablet.)

(P.P.S. stay tuned for my fictional language dictionary!!)

[goodolreliablejake]

I've had a thought on Game Theory and MatPat ever since I watched Big Joel's video on some of his film theories, and I guess this is the last chance to share it with any relevancy.

Game Theory was really important to me at some point, even as I increasingly saw the flaws. I fantasized about being MatPat: being a conventionally-attractive, able-bodied theater kid/science nerd with the full American Dream house-family dealio. I think that, whatever criticisms you may have, the videos have always been more harmless than not. They were like candy, and I enjoyed them as such.

But, at times there has been an undercurrent of something weird, something more nefarious. I first noticed it with his Scott Cawthon apologia.

After the news broke about the FNAF creator donating huge sums of money to support the campaign of Donald Trump and other conservative politicians, there was a huge backlash, especially from LGBT. Fan gave Scott Cawthon money, and he used that money to cause harm to them and theirs. MatPat's response is some centrist BS about how it wasn't about homophobia for Cawthon, it was about "national defense" (which is also bad for different reasons, and at best paints Cawthon as apathetic to the harm he's causing), and how even though it's okay to feel betrayed, it doesn't mean we should stop supporting the games, because the fan community has grown larger than one man.

As someone whose brand is deeply entwined with FNAF, the financial incentives for The Game Theorists are obvious; they weren't about to stop working with this franchise or its creator, they didn't want to tarnish their reputation by admitting past fault, and they needed to keep the cash cow rolling. So, they worked backwards from those conclusions to rationalize those decisions to their audience.

Then there are the more mundane gripes with the theorist channels: that videos are churned out so rapidly that they make sloppy errors, that they primarily advertise to children (with all the ethical ickiness that entails), that they use content from small creators without giving proper credit or linking to the sources, that the videos are overloaded with ads, usually including a paid sponsorship, several minutes of shilling their own store, and the usual youtube ads on top.

I think all of this speaks to the channels' underlying philosophy, and it's the philosophy of liberalism, by which I mean that marriage between capitalism and democracy. On the one hand, this is a moneymaking venture. It always has to be about making as much money as possible. But on the other hand, it needs to be (or seem, or allow the creators to feel) moral, and so the result is a view of the world where, yes, the company is trying to squeeze out as much money as possible, but also them getting more money is a good thing that benefits everyone. They do charity streams. They employ people. They "educate." "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good."

I'm not just guessing at the motives here. Matpat has been transparent about Game Theory's Origin Story on multiple occasions. It's part of the narrative that justifies the channels' existence. At some point, Matpat pursued theater as a career. In college, he got his first taste of something like poverty, struggling to get by, camping out at McDonald's with its free refills and wifi (a life I've also lived at times and perhaps the origin of the Diet Coke fixation). And it scared the hell out of him. I don't think it could have had that kind of traumatic effect if he had not lived in privilege until that point. He didn't want to feel financially insecure ever again.

The solution was to create the Game Theory channel as a bridge into a much more lucrative career as a corporate consultant. Creating a popular, financially-viable youtube channel allowed him to sell himself as a social media expert to out of touch corporations. He's not really hiding that he's a sellout, just arguing that selling out is a good thing.

All in all, I can't bring myself to hate Game Theory. It had its place. But neither can I celebrate it, or look back with unconditional nostalgia. The problems with Game Theory are the problems with Youtube and the problems of capitalism. We compromise a little to survive, we compromise everything to make it big, and saddest of all are those who sell out and get nothing for it. The channels will continue without Matpat, and if the channels die, there will be countless other identical creators ready to take their place.

[deltaengineering]

Winter Anime 2023: Reborn In Another Season As An Isekai Enjoyer

oh nooooooooooo

Idolish7 Third Beat Part 2 (Appendix 1)

The third extension of Idolish7 finally found the opportunity to end, or should I rather say, stop. At one point, I quite liked Idolish7. I don't know whether the show got significantly worse, or whether I just grew tired of it - likely both. In any case, this season was mostly just remarkably boring. Most of it is preoccupied with getting Trigger over - which I can't even call a failure, but it just takes them from annoying jerks to blandly affable. Revale have been sucked dry of anything interesting previously, and Idolish themselves are mainly just going through the motions, more circular histrionic Mezzo drama included. And the new guys, Zool, just fill the newly vacant "annoying jerks" niche. Though to be fair, Toma's slow realization that he's in a band with a bunch of selfish assholes and a cartoonishly evil manager is probably the best legitimate thing this season does. The unintentional high points are rare as well - sometimes the silly drama drops into silly silliness so hard it becomes funny, such as when a murder attempt is the perfect launchpad for some terrible manzai. The epic speeches can have some cringe appeal as well. But the best single moment in the show is when Iori calls Tsumugi in the middle of the night to talk at her on the roof about how Riku has become so moe he might destroy the world, while Tsumugi seems to be trying to figure out how she can leave without turning her back to him. That's some Babylon-tier entertainment right there, but of course it amounts to nothing. Everything amounts to nothing, it's just a soap opera at this point. I don't think I want to find out in exactly what way the upcoming Nagi drama also amounts to nothing, to be honest. 4/10

Trigun Stampede

I've said before that I only watched a bit of Trigun and barely remember any of it apart from not being a fan. What I do remember though is that it's nothing like this remake. I hear that the original gets more dramatic later on, but even so the appeal is probably finding sudden depths in a silly action comedy. Stampede on the other hand mostly resembles someone's awful Trigun x Advent Children fanfic (see attached picture). Which makes Orange's decision to painstakingly recreate the animation tropes of 90s action comedies in 3D puzzling, because as good as they are, now they're in a show where they don't belong. Also, it's nice that Orange have figured out how to make appealing 3D animation in general, but I really don't care how much you spin your camera if you're spinning it around uninteresting characters in an uninteresting, generic desert setting (to be replaced with a uninteresting, generic tech hallway setting later on). It's still watchable, especially early on when the content is more episodic, but it never amounts to "enjoyable" unless you're awfully interested in how to apply production wrong. 4/10

Nijiyon Animation

Nijigaku never was the most interesting Love Live, and its "full" version already trended towards the contentless side. Nijiyon is just an even more stripped down version of that. Not that that's a surprise, I suppose it's pretty much average for a tie-in short, but it certainly doesn't reach the highs of a Garupa Pico. The adaptataion of Miyako Hito's character designs to 3D animation also leaves quite a bit to be desired. On the other hand, 3 minutes a week don't need to be good to bother with, and there is a few episodes that are a bit more creative than not at all. Overall, barely acceptable for what it is. 5/10

Koori Zokusei Danshi to Cool na Douryou Joshi

Now this is a case where I don’t even know what to say. This show is so insubstantial that I had to spend the season with a team of particle scientists at CERN to even determine with 3-sigma confidence whether it actually exists. Now, lack of much of anything means there’s nothing to take exception with, so it’s not a bad experience in the moment, but in hindsight it becomes hard to argue that there wouldn’t have been better ways to spend the time - especially since the ending is somehow the least committed part of it. It does have its occasional moments, but even those are mostly happening in the periphery with the supporting cast. It’s cute and not annoying, but that’s not really the standard anything should aspire to. 5/10

Ooyukiumi no Kaina

So here's the other adventure anime of the season, and since I talk about it later, it's better than Trigun (and no, Hikari no Ou will not show up later since it was too bad to pick up). It doesn't have the luxurious character animation, or to be more precise, it has actually pretty bad character animation courtesy of Polygon. But on the other hand, the environment is worth showing in the first place. In fact, Kaina's gorgeous and interesting setting may be its biggest asset, since the characters are fairly bland and the story is extremely basic and somewhat flimsy too - it's hard to describe since languid pacing isn't exactly a rarity, but this one just doesn't feel slow, it feels lacking in content. this gets better towards the end, but even then it's just barely enough. So no surprises coming from Nihei. And yeah, there's a bunch of Blame references too. So, not exactly great but unlike Trigun, at least moderately engaging. 6/10

Benriya Saitou-san, Isekai ni Iku

They did it, the absolute madlads. Now, Handyman is not the first isekai story worth watching, but it may be the closest to the average basic bitch isekai that pulls it off and the first to have the curse-word in the title. That said, it still isn't really one of those (if it was, it would be terrible by definition). What it actually is is a fairly widely scoped fantasy parody, and since isekai is just the prime trope in fantasy nowadays, isekai takes a fairly major role but it isn't what really defines it. I'd describe it as somewhat like early Discworld through the lens of LN fantasy ca. 2023. And then it just stops being a moderately funny comedy and turns into moderately engaging drama, mostly centered around senile wizard Morlock. Like Kaina, it isn't outstanding or anything but it does feel pretty special for making this work at all, starting with a cursed genre and then pulling off the hairy feat of changing tones. I respect it. 6/10

D4DJ All Mix

This seemed like a pretty safe bet, and I can't say I'm disappointed. Another competent Sanzigen adaptation of a Bushiroad gacha franchise, what a time to be alive. That said, All Mix is not as good as First Mix mostly on account of First Mix actually having something resembling a story. All Mix now features 6 bands and especially early on, all it can do with it is giving all the characters a chance to do their gimmick in turn. Thankfully that gets better later on, but even then it's only episodic mini-plots with one or two bands. Lyrical Lily gets comparatively the most attention, and they're a pretty likeable bunch, but they're still no Happy Around. So All Mix has all the Umamusume focus problems while not even having the occasional real standout subplots of that show. It's cute enough, but very insubstantial even compared to its hardly profound predecessor. 6/10

Sugar Apple Fairy Tale

Conventional wisdom says that a romantic comedy doesn't need much more than two good leads, and by that metric Sugar Apple Fairy Tale certainly delivers. Ann and Challe have a good, sweet and spicy dynamic going on that's consistently entertaining. So far so good then, what's the catch? The catch is that this isn't a romantic comedy and often tries for drama, and on that front it doesn't do so well. But first, I'll say that this show's takes on slavery and misogyny aren't so hot. Not that I expect nuance or complexity from a thing that has "fairy tale" literally in the title, or that I think they have the wrong attitude, but if all you're saying amounts to "it sure is bad", that's not worth the time this show spends on it. All it does is fuel the drama, and as stated, said drama is not the highlight anyway. The cast beside the main two is a mixed bag as well, especially the moustache twirling villains, who just keep stealing Ann's sugar for moustache twirling reasons. The setting is functional but not much more than that. So in the end, this show has quite a bit going for it but instantly gets into trouble when it tries to do anything more meaingful than cute fluff, which is fairly often. 6/10

Mou Ippon!

Mou Ippon is extremely easy to describe: It's a very simple but competent sports shounen manga adaptation with a notably strong cast. That right there tells you everything you need to know, good and bad. The bad is limited to the "sports shounen manga" part, because that kind of storytelling just never quite works for me in animation. Whenever sport is taking place, expect an intense amount of sideline commentary and minutes of flashback in the middle of every other throw. It just is what it is. The "simple" part is already more of a benefit than a detriment though, because Mou Ippon knows what it's good at and stays in its lane, which is giving the characters room to do their thing. And all the characters, including all the opponents, are likeable and fleshed out just enough to make them seem fully realized, without overcomplicating things. This leads to some nice positive seishun vibes, and while the simplicity limits how good this show really can be, when executed this well I'll take it over misguided ambition everyday. It's just enjoyable. 7/10

Tensei Oujo to Tensai Reijou no Mahou Kakumei

So after Handyman Saitou was pretty decent, this one is the real twist. Sure, it doesn't have "isekai" in the title, but that's only the top of the list of garbage LN source material tells, and "tensei" is right behind it, just ahead of "yuusha" and "maou". So imagine my surprise when the "reincarnation" part of this show is entirely limited to about a minute of conversation in the final episode and even then its relevalnce is questionable. That's as good a way to do it as I've ever seen, question remains if they really had to pull a ruse like this. I've seen plenty of pointlessly isekai shows before, but they were never as minimal as this and more importantly, they were never good anyway. And Tensei Oujo is good indeed, it's a solid romantic fantasy drama with a setting and characters strong enough to carry that weight, and it's simply fun to see trash queen Anisphia and cool princess Euphie develop their relationship through trials and tribulations that are neither too farfetched (for a fantasy story anyway) nor too generic - mostly. Yes, the base content delivers, but there's still too many underwhelming lazor fight scenes that add nothing and aren't exciting in their own right, there's too many plot arcs that repeat too many of the same beats, it's a bit too talky and slowly paced, and the drama flips into melodrama occasionally, especially towards the end. So it is indeed a light novel, but I won't hold that against it too strongly when it delivers the one thing I didn't expect, namely a real ending. And that ending has everything one traditionally expects from a proper ending too: closure, denouement and lesbian sex. 7/10

[brizzlovesyou]

I’m really not a fan of a split season. Bridgerton kind of got away with it cos Nic and Luke were touring together and people were excited to see them and new content everyday, I feel like OBX is just lacking in promo, this tour starts a week before part 2 and I’m just getting impatient. I don’t know what it is but it’s just dampened my excitement, probably because the cast just don’t interact anymore like they used too, people love to see that and with the long break between with hardly any thing to go on it just feels flat…

oh really?? i haven't felt this excited about the show since the lead up to s3. like straight up spinning on my head discussing theories and character development and trying to figure out what the hell the sequence of events might be in part 2.

it's hard with the cast dynamic shifting, i totally get that. i think something in me broke with the s3 press where i just!!!! i got burned so badly that i was dreading this press tour and instead i've actually been watching interviews and not getting second hand. LIKE I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY. i don't watch bridgerton so i can't really gauge what they did in their break between releases but i feel like there's been a lot??? or maybe my algorithm is just so heavily skewed.

the fact that they're sending the cast on this "tour", whatever the fuck it ends up being is wild. the fact that they did not only a much larger scale premiere in charleston AND now poguelandia again is wild. i'll be the last person to praise netflix and maybe the bar was just in hell but they kinda seem like they're putting their back into promo??

and then just on a personal note like if i'd gotten the "jj was never meant to be a maybank" reveal and was expected to let the credits roll into the next episode i would've done something drastic. like. i just wouldn't have had the willpower to stop watching and i feel like i need every second of this month inbetween to process that news?! it's also given me the chance to actually watch the episodes slower, differentiate, unpack a first half of the season that was a full fucking feast, especially jiara wise, i have friends who are writing again for the first time in months/years like!!!!! idk if that's the general consensus or not since i tend to stay in my little tumblr bubble but i'm personally fucking loving the two part release. it's woken up the fandom (and tbh the locals i know irl) in a way i was scared to even hope for.

ALSO if you love fanmade works there's a lil something getting cooked up that i hope will ramp that excitement back up!! 🌚

[3eep]

13.09.2024 Why I draw

I've been in an art block for the last couple of years, maybe since I started doing art as a job, and I think I finally figured out why and how to get out of it, I thought about writing this privately or not writing it at all but it may be useful to anyone that may be going through the same thing.

I knew I had some kind of art block or burn out for a while now, but I never stopped drawing because of my job or because I wanted to keep moving my personal projects forward even if it was little by little, I also never stopped because I've had small instances of art block in the past and resting never helped, it just kinda gets me out of it when I rest, it stops the groove, the inspiration, something like that. I've watched a bunch of videos on the subject and some things have helped but I don't think I have overcome this burn out/art block combo entirely (some of the things that helped a little were to turn off social media or any distraction, focus on my end goals, stop overthinking the process of drawing and just get to it, going back to draw the subjects that interested me when I was the most productive and inspired, rearranging my art space, trying other media, having my tools close and ready to use, etc.)

But just today I came across two videos that covered a different subject: that you don't really need skill to make a hit as an artist, they pretty much said what you would guess: expand your drawing subjects, try new things, do marketing, etc. There's also a big point that as a comic artist I've always been aware about, what people end up caring the most about is the content of your art, the story you're telling, the emotions you're evoking, the connection they can make with you through your art, it's all about feeling connected and understood. And I agree, my favorite artists are the ones that bared their hearts and personality to the public as much as they could, I know this is what makes art good, I can look at the scribble of a child and tbh as long as they left a part of them in that scribble, as long as they drew it with all their heart I can tell it's good art.

But I don't want to do that.

I never wanted to do that, I've always resisted the idea of baring myself to a bunch of strangers, I hate the idea of performing as myself to entertain everyone else, I'm not even interested in being perceived, I always thought there had to be another way to make it as an artist without opening up, but now those videos confirmed to me that doing just that is inherently the key to making good art, to make a hit; I have to accept it even if I don't want to do it...... but do I really lack the basic human need for connection and communication we all inherently have? Do I really not want to connect? to open up? I actually don't feel I don't want to connect entirely, so who do I want to connect with? who do I draw my comics for if not for my self?

why do I make art?

if right now I drew something with the sole purpose of showing it to someone else, connecting and baring a piece of myself, who would I want it to be for? I do feel the need to connect, but only with my friends--

My friends. this is who I want to draw for.

I've been burnt out because I stopped drawing for the only reason I wanted to draw: to connect with my friends. I want to show them who I am, what I like, what I think, how I feel. Fan art? I want to show my friends the shows I like and how I percieve them. Comics? I want to make comics that make them laugh and relate to the stories, I do want my friends to see all of me, no wonder why I was so burnt out ever since I started taking art as my job, I was just drawing for money, I never cared about that, and even in my personal projects I was just drawing for numbers, I never really cared about that either; but the thought of drawing something for the sole purpose of showing the result to my friends seems infinitely more appealing than everything else.

I have yet to proove it but I'm sure this is how I'll get out of this art rut, I remember the times when I was full of passion and drive to make art and specially comics, it was in middle school, I couldn't draw my comics fast enough to show my friends, I drew so many comics back then, it is also when I started posting online, I wanted to show my friends what I was doing even if I didn't have them right in front of me, that connection with my friends has always been my drive to draw, I've always been ecstatic to show my drawings to them even today, I just had to remember my motivations and be aware of why I draw.