#i'm very easily distracted

[tamaiory]

!!!! This is very important !!!!

That's all I had to say Thank you for your attention I hope you have a wonderful day ✨

Commissions info ✨

[polillamielera]

how i thought 2v8 would go...

[xxplastic-cubexx]

what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]

a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious

i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me

as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy

[icewindandboringhorror]

I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...

Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner

*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)

And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -

TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows

This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).

So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.

Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.

Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.

Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).

But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).

In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.

Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.

Now, doing the same thing for movies-

Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)

That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).

116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.

So, a for broader summary stuff..

I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.

If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.

ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.

I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0

[capn-twitchery]

ok back on commission hiatus i go.......see you all soon 🫡 wish me luck

[mariocki]

Patrick Troughton guests as ruthless racketeer George, out to silence the man who can identify his brother as a murderer, in Dial 999: Key Witness (1.26, ABC, 1959)

[cuteniarose]

The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!

[jimmystrudel]

On some real GABA blocker brain today

[asinglesock]

I am overcome with gratefulness that I don't have to take my Bible quizzing team to regionals. like I think the next five months will be infinitely more bearable now that I don't have to plan for regionals and take time off for regionals and register for regionals and pay for regionals and drive to Oregon for regionals.

[silverduckie]

Okay, I meant to slide in yesterday with a poll but I'm in post-finals crash currently so time slipped me by. Anyway, I had a few questions regarding gif packs for y'all:

[unproduciblesmackdown]

maybe bsol is that time jen tepper mentions when she was so upset about a review of a show of joe's that she broke a glass (&/or threw it out a window)

[evanwevand]

I'm so fucking close to dropout school

[treel]

Hello! Um, Are you ok? How have you been doing?

Hello!

I am fine, thank you for asking. I had some health issues a while back, but all seems okay now after several unhelpful doctor visits. 👍

Most recently, I'm struggling with mental health. ADHD especially, which has gotten worse as I get older. I kinda thought my mental health would even out with every birthday, but apparently that is not the case. Sitting down to work steadily on a project is nearly impossible - it's a good day if I can get five to ten minutes of writing or drawing done at a time. It's become very frustrating to live like this, but I'm trying to manage, and continue working on things when I can! I have so many things I want to do (including finishing Éxtasis oh my god I'm so sorry for people who wait so patiently for every chapter - I promise I'm doing my best!)

Anyway, that's part of what's going on behind the scenes here! Also I don't go outside anymore because it's been 105+ degrees for three weeks straight.

Bonus Insmeeth snarlkitty sticker with holographic hearts because it makes me laugh.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

yumi yumi yumi.

do you have a playlist you listen to when you're working on your oneshots/series? or are you someone who needs a more quiet environment to immerse yourself?

hmmm i think i don't care either way the only time i put on music while writing is when i actually want to listen to music, otherwise i just write in silence, exactly like this, hunched back and all

[augentrust]

hi i just spent the past two hours literally sobbing while reading your cr fics and like i am not someone who usually cries at shit like this but holy fuck did those — esp the jester one — just hit me where i live in the most absolutely wrecking way. so yeah thanks for completely monopolizing this night i needed to use for Productive Things and instead leaving me unexpectedly weeping until my head hurts bc my god was A Wisdom Without Face or Name one of the most quietly devastating things i’ve read in a long time (not that quietly, considering i was sobbing the whole way thru, but still). you just, like, opened floodgates i didn’t even know i had w that one. christ

ANYWAYS! you write the nein beautifully (and i am very picky about my nein, especially my caleb, and he’s written so well in both!). do you have any recs for other good fics to look out for — either m9 in general or shadowgast specific? not necessarily emotionally destroying ones LMAO, just any in general; you write them so well that i definitely trust your taste!! thank u again for ur (devastating) contributions to cr literature they have not gone unappreciated

anon i am handing you tissues and a warm beverage of your choice. thank you for the kind words, and i hope the cry was a cathartic one  

i read fairly widely when it comes to critical role, but i’ll leave a few recommendations below the cut of fics that influenced how i thought about the nein — and shadowgast in particular — back when i was starting out. my writing today wouldn't be the same without them

“memory in double exposure” by hanap

this is the fic i look to when i think of jester and essek — it honors her depth in a way that i really fell in love with, and i come back to it often

“the other things that make us” by saturdaysky

one of my first shadowgast cornerstones. it does a remarkable job of exploring what is left unsaid, and certain scenes still make my heart drop (in the best way) even after many, many rereads 

“remote times and places and ultimate causes” by mllekurtz (TheKnittingJedi)

this is the shadowgast dynamic to me personally. the fact that it transposes so well to another universe is a testament to their characterizations, and i adore it a little more every time i come back to it

“Hard Mouth” by road_rhythm

an angst heavyweight for shadowgast, and a fic i still look towards for an incredible example of blending story and dnd mechanics 

“only code it knows is rote survival” by Chrome

such a well-written look into essek and the nein, and a wonderful exploration of love and caution and trust and the way that all of these intersect

“hold me down, hold me true” by lakrisrot (enheduane)

a really lovely subversion of expectation, and the careful exploration of letting yourself want things. i reflect on the conversations in this fic often, and it still influences how i think the wizards talk about love 

this hardly scratches the surface of the many wonderful fics i’ve had the pleasure of reading in this fandom, but i hope it can point you in the direction of something you haven’t read before, or at least inspire a reread. have a wonderful day/night, anon! 

[malachitezmeyka]

I love my auntie dearly, I really do, but good god is being around her nowadays pretty much akin to being in Alien...

And I feel so mean for saying that because I know she loves her kids and wants to have them, and it's rude in general, but watching her constantly groaning in discomfort and complaining and almost doubling over when one of them kicks, which happens at least once every five minutes... it's fucking body horror to me. The actual outline of a foot showing through her skin has burned itself into my memory and I wish I could forget it

In my defense she's very clearly reaching the end of her rope as well, always swearing and cursing out both her husband and herself for getting into this, repeating "10 more weeks" over and over again like a mantra, and just generally looking extremely exhausted, especially since she's got a hyperactive six year old on her hands too

And to think that this is technically the easy part, they're not even born yet... may whatever higher power there is give her strength, that's all I can really say