#i'm unreasonably tired
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just a heads up, if you get a dm from nobugdev, this person is trying to scam you and will tell you to kys r slur (then deleted the specific kys message before I could screenshot it lol) when you tell him you don't want to be paid under federal minimum wage :)
this is just a small sample of the lovely conversation I had with this guy. it didn't last long because I didn't actually plan on taking the commission, and wanted to give this guy a wake up call as to how shitty it is to expect a grown ass adult to work for a wage that can barely buy a single candy bar in our current economic climate.
I've had an influx of scam artists and underhanded clients like this in the past 2 years, partially which I blame on AI art making ppl undervalue every creative profession out there. I'm fucking exhausted from having hours long conversations with someone only for them to tip toe around the fact they think my art isn't even worth a single grocery trip. not to mention people think artwork can be mass produced by a human like a machine now- it is not possible to do 10 cleanly lined images in "an hour or two".
even when I was working as a caricature artist, I was paid a base hourly rate on top of tips and was given much more time to work on black and white illustrations than what this guy was offering me. I usually block immediately and move on, but I'm tired of putting up with this type of shit on a daily basis.
tl;dr: know your worth artists, don't let these scumbags try to force you to do what is essentially sweatshop labor!
do NOT take this weirdo's commissions, even if the diary of a wimpy kid art style is simple you shouldn't be charged under federal fucking minimum wage for that type of illustration!
#not art#sorta a vent / rant post#I'M JUST TIRED YALL#SERIOUSLY SO TIRED.......... I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO TELL AT LEAST ONE PERSON#HEY THIS IS UNREASONABLE FOR FUTURE REFERENCE NEVER FUCKING DEMAND AN ARTIST TO DO THIS AGAIN#AND LO AND BEHOLD OF COURSE I'M CALLED SLURS AND AND DEGRADED FOR BEING JUSTIFIABLY IRRITATED FOR BEING OFFERED#P E A N U T S FOR WORK I'VE BEEN DOING MY WHOLE LIFE#ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#negative#vent
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hi. this might sound very funny given the muse but try not to steal from me. i know i talk a lot about my portrayal if not the series itself all the time, and i'm happy to always try to share canon resources/material while being more than welcoming of dupes, (i still love them very much,) but many, many, many of my metas, even the ones that might seem like 'base canon,' are usually still laced with my personal interpretations or outright headcanons that i'm not comfortable with being overly plagiarized, at least especially without being asked or spoken to. (it's also because my hcs are sprinkled in so much that i like to think i can tell.) muses should bear their own integrity and be able to stand on their own as their own characterization. some overlap is inevitable when multiple people are writing the same character, but it just gets weird when, as soon as one person writes or talks about something, it seems to show up immediately in another person's portrayal when it wasn't there before. don't use me as an interpretation resource outside of learning about my own specific portrayal for rp; read canon and come to your own conclusions.
#*・゚⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.#i'm still preparing for my trip alongside handling other things so i'm v tired and can't tell all that well if i'm being unreasonable rn#but like. it's not really flattering#i don't like my portrayal being looked at like it's law or absolute canon because it isn't#that's even in my rules#it feels like someone's trying to cheat on a test by looking over my shoulder and copying all my answers kjhkjbkdjb#this isn't just one person either n i'm not a Fan of anybody who can't give like...#independent respect to different portrayals/interpretations#don't project fanon onto me either is basically what i'm saying
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If you've never heard an LRAD go off in person, I *genuinely* do not want to hear your opinion about methods of resistance in the US.
#i'm so fucking sick#wifey and i are pretty sure we got COVID so we've been isolating and trying to stay well#this is now at least my 2nd infection though#and you can tell too#wifey has been having trouble keeping me fed and hydrated and CONSCIOUS because I'm so tired I can barely function#this is despite sleeping for 12 hrs a day the past two days#and being fully medicated (or as fully medicated as I can be)#and on top of that my hypotension has been acting up severely since getting sick and I can barely walk 10ft b4 losing consciousness#i've haven't started throwing up my food and water yet but I've come pretty close especially early in the morning#anyway the point is that I am like. visibly being hit with an autoimmune aggravator not just a normal cold#and unfortunately#I'm taking it harder this time than the last#wifey is doing okay and mostly experienced it as a headcold with severe fatigue#she's pretty much better now a week or so out from starting to show symptoms#we....don't like when she gets hit that hard tho because it usually means I'm about to get bodied#pattern is holding so far regrettably lmao#anyway#my point is that I'm sick and angry and grieving and I really want to hit something or set it on fire#but i can't because i can barely move or even stay awake#and this is literally all my personal hell#as a result i am finding that I have a uhhhhhhhhhh unreasonably low threshhold for irritation recently
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Anyway how is everyone doing
#had to get up at 6 in the morning and therefore had 4 hours of sleep today (a weekly occurence pretty much)#so i just took a nap which took all evening and i'm still tired yayyyyy. because naps only work how they should about 10% of the time#and also i did nothing else today because sleep and now i'm truly wondering what to do with myself anymore#meanwhile i have to get up and go to school again tomorrow 😑 and the day after that 😑 and the day after that 😑#or i could drop out again and have nothing else to do anyway and continue rotting in my room#(whether it's my dorm room or my actual room doesn't matter). what's the pointtttttt#might be reaching some kind of limit or maybe i'm truly just dramatising and should just chill about it all#save me 4 hours of music listening now probably. idk man#got my minimal amount of social interaction today in the form of riding the elevator with 3 of the ppl from my course#when i could have (and normally would have) just taken the stairs instead#i feel like i made a big important step today that will help me later on through this year (no not really)#at least one thing i've noticed recently is that i might have the reverse of what is i guess is usually called seasonal depression#in the sense that now that it's chilly and cloudy and it gets dark earlier i feel like i'm finally LIVING in a way#the good effect of that will probably pass after a week or two though#but also just a bit over a month left now until my birthday and then my long awaited trip!!#anyone else get unreasonably excited for their birthday each year even though there's never anything special about it in the end#and that only makes the day more depressing lol#ok whatever i'm done whining now i think. music time then#celebrating (a bit late) one year of gratsax and lil beethoven today. some of the albums of all time for me personally#goosepost
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ughhhhh my boss keeps changing my goddamn schedule
#it's not a *problem* but it is absolutely an inconvenience and I don't have the patience for it#I'm already tired of working here. coworkers suck. boss doesn't listen. and the job is unreasonably exhausting#but whatever. what the hell am I gonna do about it I need money. and until this fx job opens up in stuck here
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i found happiness in 1 cup of boba and god decided to punish me for it tenfold
#its almost 10 we just arrived home + hunger pains + my mom was being so unreasonable w our taxi driver#i'm so tired and frustrated and getting upset over non issues. like how i planned in my head to make soup but my mom was like lets open a#can of tuna. i come downstairs and she gives me egg. literally not a big deal but i started crying so i rubbed my eyes#and forgot i touched chili peanuts so my eyes started stinging.#and before i ate my charger for my dead phone wasnt working unless i consistently pressed it superrr hard into the socket PLEASE.#fuck sia#not even in a suicidal way but thinking abt how exhausted ill be tomorrow makes me not want to wake up tomorrow . PLEASE GODDDD#me when i get my ass beat during late november and all of december#give me a break#rant#negative
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god if any of you could send me your favorite forcebook video/interview/whatever of them just being cute and happy that would be great idk why but i saw literally two people being nasty and it's ruined my whole day lmao
#ngl i'm kind of close to my breaking point#maybe i'm PMSing maybe i'm just fucking... browbeaten#i don't think i'm going to be able to be on tumblr this weekend#ESPECIALLY if topmew don't get back together#i'm just so tired of people being assholes about forcebook or talking out of their asses about top#i'm fucking tired of people acting like foxmochis are somehow being unreasonable for wanting to see our faves when everyone else does#and then COMPLAIN about them just fucking existing#like go find inner peace you joyless cretin#is it only fun if you try to make everyone else miserable? grow a soul#grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr#ofs liveblog
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if you put on a mask to be loved, they will love the mask, not you
if you put on a mask to be loved, the mask will drain you
if you put on a mask to be loved, the mask will ingrain itself into your identity forever, becoming part of you
if you don't put on a mask to be loved, would nobody love you?
#venting#masking#autism#neurodivergent#man i hate that i've learned all these social rules. that i control my face and posture to be perfectly amiable.#i'm tired of bending my words to be supportive#being dishonest about how little i care or what i'm going through#i hate how i can't even tell what i feel/want/like/hate. that i've set this high tolerance for pain and bullshit and i cant back down#one of the things i hate most is that i look down on people who can't do what i do. but also i dont want anyone to ever have to do this!#logically: nobody deserves to have to do this shit!#emotionally: you're all fools and i hate/envy/was once you!#but that hatred is unreasonable and founded in pain. it hurts me to hate all the time#i don't want to hate so much#i have a little or a lot of hatred for everything in the universe
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I just read a goodreads book review that made me angrier than any inconsequential thing has made me in a WHILE. I loved the book, and I'm not a good critic of novels (or anything); I'm decent at analysis to be fair, but I like a read or I don't (on a spectrum of course).
But good goddamn, this review reeked with pretension and was written like the most unbearable food or music critic's diatribes. Adult character is lost in life, makes stupid choices out of grief/running away from issues/thinking distance from community will help/doesn't act logically as a character in a horror plot? Childish and not very bright! A large bustling family coming together for a major cultural and spiritual threat and asking the same damn questions over and over again, repeating the same arguments, etc.? Tiresome and muddled! Bro is your family (bio or chosen) totally chill? Have you never at least seen (in media or in others' lives) annoying family members beating dead horses for days on end out of concern and love and lack of knowing how else to help???
Dude I dunno, it just felt like legitimate criticisms one might have if they dislike a book or parts of its structure, but then those criticisms were a molehill buried beneath a mountain of hating some super fuckin' flawed characters making wild and awful choices in a time of grief and isolation. Screaming!!!!
#this was a review about Bad Cree by Jessica Johns which i gave five stars btw#i am unreasonably pissed lmao#it was like...just. gripes for the sake of bitching and being unhappy woth a short read that didn't hit typical horror benchmarks. dumb.#it's about multiple generations of cree women in the same family and naturally had a LOT to do with the cumture#and experiences and practices and just. daily lives of cree women mixed with A Horror Plot#but i was still sooo reminded of the chaos and aggravation and love and power and hurt and again love#of when the women on my mom's side of the family congregate#and the connections and rifts and stories memories legends among us all that get passed around rather than#passed down because it all feels so circular. we all repeat ourselves endlessly lmao#like this made me yearn for my family because i saw and felt them in this cast of characters#i'm not indigenous or canadian but i still saw myself and my family in this book and it was such a unique experience#bc it was so goddamn familiar in the midst of learning about this horror plot and how it mixed with cree culture#im emotional and tired and not explaining myself well. but JESUS i cannot wait for Johns to publish her next work#ann with an ie
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downstairs neighbors cast spell of hammer things for ever so loudly after only 2 blissful hours of sleep so i'm awake now.
#i wish i could be mad abt it it is like noon so it's not like it's an unreasonable time to be hammering stuff.#< ok sorry like i am mad. extremely so. but yiu know what i mean.#like i can't really blame them.#but oh my god am i tired. and you can hear it thru the whole apartment it's so fuckinf loudddd.#.txt#i'm hoping they stop soon so i can sleep a little longer T__T.
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Friends I crave distraction. Please feel free to send me random Star Trek asks - about the shows, the characters, hot takes, theories, your fics, my fics, someone else's fics- anything is fine, I would very much welcome it
#it's been a rough week. people I know stop dying challenge :(#I'm sorry about the incoming tag rant but I literally cannot believe these last three months#I just got off the phone after what. number 7? 8?#and I feel so bad because it's not even MY immediate family so I shouldn't make this about me but like#these are still people who raised me#people who have been around since I was a kid#people I really believed were going to be around for a lot longer#(and pets. plural. what is UP with the number of deaths lately)#I'm just very exhausted with everything I'm not even crying anymore I'm literally just tired and I feel like I'm losing it#and yes I am not at the centre of these losses but it's still a cumulative effect...like spending hours & hours at funerals & on the phone#with grieving friends and family and trying to be there for them and not having any space or time to process these losses for myself#is not an unreasonable thing to feel exhausted from right? especially not after like three straight months of this?#anyway. would really like to think about people who don't really exist for the next few hours and maybe ramble a bit once I make dinner :)
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maybe i need to turn my monolgues (rants to myself in my room) into dialogues (expressing my annoyance)
#otherwise i end up misdirecting my frustration at#innocent bystanders who really didn't do the annoying thing#but then again. i hate to upset people#so here we are progressively more peeved#i hate feeling annoyed it goes against the temperament#that i try to cultivate#and then i wonder if i'm being unreasonable#but i am just. tired in this instance#the truth probably is somewhere in the middle#allie talks#i went from sad to angry in one shower who knew
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having to tell my family I can't make the marinara sauce today like a solemn press conference 'due to unforseen circumstances I cannot make marinara today...' and everyone being like ok :(
#all I want is to be able to use my kitchen for a whole month! I don't think that's an unreasonable ask! I really don't!#but the universe does....#🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 spaghetti tomorrow pls pls pls god I will just lie down and die if this shit continues#I'm so tired I think I might literally just spend the last of this month just. doing fuck all nothing.#like. barest of bare minimums. job hunt is on hold classes hunt is on hold. things are so stressful rn I cannot juggle all of this#erin explains it all
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just got an email from netflix informing me that they're gonna put an end to account sharing, so guess who's gonna put an end to their netflix subscription <3
#this makes me so unreasonably angry#they're not even having financial problems they're just fucking greedy and always want more and more and more#i'm so tired of capitalism#from the bottom of my heart: get fucked netflix 💕#killing and biting#girlblogging
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Kaguya looks GREAT but I really hope she's bottom 1 to spite 90% of the uni "fanbase" on twitter
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throwing my hat in the ring to say that posts like "damn your hate mail is bold when you cant even ask for no pickles irl" are perhaps not good because we shouldn't connect anxiety with "annoying" behavior.
i dont see many of those posts anymore but they WERE popular for a time and like. let me make the assumption that you bullied people in middle school then.
fact of the matter is online spaces ARE a safe haven for people with anxiety disorders. you cant stutter over text, no one can see the physical symptoms of anxiety, can't see you hyperventilate and blush and sweat. just the being invisible is already a huge relief in communication. you cant curate your self expression to the same extent. if i'm a stuttering mess irl, people hear it. if i typo, i can retype it.
people are bolder online. but that doesn't automatically make someone a shithead. people who already are shitheads will just use anonimity to get away consequence free. if you mean shitheads, call them that, instead of fucking demonizing mental illness again.
#feli speaks#i have anxiety and i am Tired#like its hard enough for anxious people to stand up for themselves as is#so connecting unreasonable callouts to classic anxiety symptoms to discredit them#just ends up discrediting an anxious person's attempt to actually get over themselves#no reblogs for u. thanks. i'm just annoyed for no particular reason
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