#i'm trying not to care but! i'm anxious!

[mymarifae]

sooooooo when i jokingly said to myself "haha did ruan mei play aeonic necromancy on tingyun's remains or something" i wasn't expecting that to literally be the case what the fuck

[scvcnofswords]

i will never force or assume ships- honestly my first goal with establishing contact between characters (including and ESPECIALLY any that mine may have romanced in-game) is just to establish some kind of bond.

Like is there a friendship there? Is there antagonism there? Is there a POTENTIAL for leadup to more, there? Or is this a platonic intimacy? Is this a sibling dynamic? Do these people genuinely care and respect for one another or do they despise one another? What sort of love is there, if any?

and honestly most of the time i will not nudge towards a ship because i'm hyper paranoid about being accused of ships being all i want. The attitude for afab ocs was uh- very different, when i first started with tumblr RP, and it's been literal years but i haven't shaken those anxieties, nor the constant fear that i'm constantly annoying or being a nuisance towards those i'm trying to befriend.

this is honestly just a psa that like- while i love ships, i love EVERY KIND of dynamic that could form between characters, and i'm down to explore any and everything. literally 2 of the most fulfilling dynamics i've formed since showing up here are the platonic soulmate relationships!

give me besties, give me contentious coworkers, give me platonic soulmates and twin flames, give me enemies, give me romantic soulmates, give me doomed loves, give me loves that somehow defeat the odds.

[bandsandwristbands]

Vent post

[featherymainffins]

Kinda fucked up how all the people I know are like "Yeah I know what I want in my life. I want to work in X field and I want/don't want a long-term partner who I'm going to marry, I want kids and-"

and I'm there just like 🧍

[spaceratprodigy]

sorry for how slow and sparse I've been getting around to everyone. I'm doing my best but genuinely rn I desperately need to take care of myself instead of always putting others first.

[trollocs-ooc]

Guys. I'm going to be serious with you. I try my best to be nice and understanding of everybody. I do. but when you bottle shit up it's going to spill eventually . Amd i know this is probably going to lower somebody's opinions of me, but i think i raised the standards a bit too high with how patientni try to be. But I dont care, i have to say something or i feel it will get worse.

I. Do not want. You vagueposting about me. Or what happens to me.

Either say something concrete, or don't.

This was pissing me off yesterday, but now the poll has crossed the line for me. It really has.

And I'm not mad at anybody except the original proshipper, but what i AM mad about is the attitude this fucking community has over these things.

Almost None of you said anything to me. NONE. the amount of times you rb the "guys can we be normal to ooc blogs" post will do NOTHING. it does absolutely NOTHING. your vagueposting does NOTHING. And you acting like you're the ones affected when absolutely nothing happened to you, while refusing to actually say anything concrete is incredibly irritating.

And let me put that poll into perspective for you. That's like if after salty got the incest asks, someone made a poll "WHO HERE SHIPS INCEST?". it is stupid. It is insensitive. It is inherently discourse. You are swinging a bat at a hornet nest for no reason and making everyone irritated in the process.

You are allowed to be uncomfortable. You are allowed to not want to express your opinions. But if you don't have anything smart to say then don't say it at all, for the love of god.

Your actions affect others, and i think it actually irritates me more that you're all talking about this in this way, than the proshipper arguing with me. Because at least they have opinions. Instead of going "whats WRONG WITH PEOPLEEE" or "uhm" or "im taking a break-" NOTHING HAPPENED TO YOU.

I. Was the one that got the weird asks. I. was the one that had my boundaries broken. I. Was the one none of you wanted to say anything to. So i think i have the right to ask that you all stop treating this like some sort of hush hush rumor and not something incredibly cut and dry. If you don't want to say anything THEN DON'T.

[the-jellyfish-graves]

If you're an eligible US voter and haven't dropped off a mail ballot or done early voting already, please go vote on election day tomorrow.

[l0stw00d]

deeply resentful of tutorials that leave you feeling like you need to go look up at least 2 other tutorials to figure out where you're starting from before they've even gotten to what the tutorial is For btw. like yeah okay this looks nice but its needlessly complicated and you've just had to spend 10 minutes explaining why you aren't going to explain all of it in this video. brother what is the Point.

[loumauve]

I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.

(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)

[blacknidstang]

Every damn time it drives me insane how soulless sam reminds me of dissociative episodes after some very very emotionally taxing period. Like there are times i wake up and i feel like a clone of myself, i know my past self, i know i had emotions, i know i felt things but at that moment all of these feel so so far away and so alien. That complete drainage, the way your brain just shuts all sorts of feelings down. It was so scary when i became aware of that at one point bc how do you go from feeling so intensely to this? It's almost like you really are no longer the real you.

I know sam's soul is practically still in hell & soulless is simultaneously wondering the earth but to me this will always be a metaphor for post traumatic experience/emotionally intense dissociation. Like even not considering hell itself, s5 sam was the most miserable broken state already. Boy i sure would stop feeling anything at all anymore after that. Anyway i am no professional in that field but that's how i see it based on very personal experiences

[aberooski]

so that surprise song mashup, huh

I AIN'T GOTTA TELL HIM I THINK HE KNOWS HE'S GORGEOUS !!!!! 😭😭😭

They are everything to me she has no idea but she did that for me I stg ✋😭

[phagodyke]

sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

[tvrningout-a]

will y'all be mad if i reblog a fluffy meme or two (; ω ; )

[running-in-the-dark]

was supposed to get a package today (from ikea), it hasn't been delivered but the app still says it's coming today. yeah, right, it's almost 21:00, sure :)

[guinevereslancelot]

i'm so bummed i accidentally turned town a job interview for a job where I could have worked with a good friend and mentor 😔

[the-acid-pear]

I'm hitting rock bottom <- dude whose belly aches so fucking much because he ate pork.