#i'm too scared to write this out in the main part of the post but
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oh, maria...
#silvs talks#i'm too scared to write this out in the main part of the post but#does anyone else get a bit uncomfortable whenever people portray maria in a certain way?#idk how to explain it but i think there's clear difference between artwork that showcases the perceptions of maria#(from shadow's or gerald's pov)#vs artwork that treats her death as holy or her character as malicious#idk i'm just sitting here and thinking 'that was a 12 year old kid...' ykwim??#like. don't get me wrong! i think it's fun to explore how shadow would percieve maria from gerald's corruption#but it has to be clear that it's a warped perception instead of who she actually is#i get that the whole thing is that we won't truly know because she was murdered. but we do know she was a sweet kid#and i think she deserves that humanity and peace#to delete maybe
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Who ever said fours a crowd?
3Racha X reader
word count:6,400
Summary: You & your boyfriend, Changbin, have both just started dating & he brings up the idea of inviting his long time & your long time friend, Chris, into the bedroom to help teach him how to pleasure you just right, since he was still a bit 'new' to sex, but you all forgot Jisung, their roommate, is also home.
18+,MDNI! smut below the cut.
©ANY translation, copy & paste, posting of my work is strictly forbidden for ANY posts/ writing i post.
main masterlist here
->SMUT WARNINGS: mxmxmxf, mxm, frottage( mxm), mentions of past encounters, PIV, oral (f rec), manhandling(??), praise, protected sex, unprotected sex, cum eating, multiple orgasms, size kink, anal play (m rec), anal(m rec) reader has a WAPPP, shy binnie, fingering(f rec), perv!Jisung, nipple/tit play, spit, Binnie is insecure at the start but reader doubles down & calms him down, mentions of a second round<3
->What better way to thank you all for 1K, 1.1K ANNND 1.2K followers than to do a 3racha smut? But seriously thank you so much, I haven't even been posting on here for 8 whole months & despite so many breaks in between you've all been so patient with me so thank you thank you thank you<3
You have been talking to Changbin for over an hour by this point in his shared apartment's living room, trying to figure out some boundaries, the reason for this being because you were both making out while a random movie was playing & you took it upon yourself to try take it a bit.. further, as your hand moves down to cup over his bulge, before the poor baby squirmed away from you, leaving you confused.
"It's not that I don't want it, I do! I just, I'm scared in case I won't be good at it, I've only slept with two people four times & I like you too much to disappoint you in case you don't like it" he murmurs, sounding embarrassed of what he had just said, avoiding to look at you sitting against the arm of the couch, playing with a loose thread attached to a couch cushion.
"Binnie, we don't need to do anything I'm more than happy to wait, but don't think of yourself like that, you're being silly, is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable? cmere" you respond, pulling him towards you anyways until he shuffles himself forwards on the couch so both of your crossed legs knees are touching.
“It’s not a you problem so no there’s nothing you can do to make me any more comfortable, i’m just too nervous, i feel like i need someone to show me how to do it or something, wanna be good for you” he whimpers as he pulls you into him, his back landing on the sitting part of the couch & you landing on top of him & you cup his puffy cheeks in your hands.
"Binnie I wouldn't judge you for it, I've felt your cock before & I know you'd be just fine, promise! Why n-" you cut yourself off when the front door to your boyfriends apartment opens, his best friend of years & a now close-ish friend of your own, Chan.
"Ah, heya you two, why do you both look like you've seen a ghost, what's up?" he says as he tosses his backpack on the floor beside the messy, cluttered shoe rack & it's only when he says this you process how shocked you must look to have seen him, Changbin looking a bit startled too.
"Hi chan, you just gave us a fri-" "Hyung, we were both just talking about something n I wanna ask you something!" Changbin says, cutting you off, turning his body on the couch to look behind him enough to properly look at who he's talking to, & Chan just nods as he walks over & slumps himself on the couch, next to changbin as he angles himself so he can look at you both at the same time before crossing his legs.
"Okay so, I wanted to know if you'd, help me with something Hyung" he goes on & if you looked like you'd seen a ghost before, it must look like you've been placed in the centre of a haunted house at this point. You open your mouth to speak but Chan beats you to it by telling him to continue.
"Okay, so, Ah I don't know how to ask!" he tries to joke to shake off his nerves, before continuing on. "Me & y/n were talking pretty much, & we both already know that with our schedule it's almost impossible to have time for people & also, sex? & I don't wanna disappoint y/n with my.. lack of experience, so to speak & I don't want my first experience with her to be better than just good, so I want you to help us" he blabs out, his voice sounding 'normal' on surface level, but you & chan know he is exploding with nerves.
Chan looks at him & then at you with surprise, not really knowing how to react, 'if i say yes straight away will I look desperate?' 'what if this is just a prank?' races through his head multiple times & words semi permanently die in his throat.
"The offer is only there if y/n is okay with it too though! If it's a no, we can forget I even asked you, don't feel pressured at all, just an idea." he says to chan before turning to you & he rests his hand on your knee, caressing it, which helps calm yourself down & he offers you his cute, soft smile.
"Binnie, we really don't need to do this, stop getting into your own head, I don't want this to negatively affect you in any way." you finally speak up & Chan nods his head at your reply.
"It won't, I wouldn't offer or suggest it if it would, we really don't need to do it, it's all in your hands" he responds softly & you can't help but feel like he really is being 100% truthful, & of course he is, & you come to the conclusion that if he is ready to do all of this just to pleasure you right, you can't really not help out.
"Okay Bin, I'll do it, Only if you're also okay with it Chan, obviously, but also if you're okay with it Binnie, like.. fully okay" you speak & Binnie leans forward enough to take your hands, caressing those instead. "Of course i'm fine with it! What are your thoughts Hyung? If you don't wanna do it, it's completely fine, we can forget it ever happened" Changbin blabs, the both of you looking at Chan, his eyes already glued on you both.
"Lemme have a bit of a think about it & I'll come back to you a lot about it, it's a big thing to just say yes to" he replies before he stands back up & leans over to purposely mess up your boyfriends curly hair, chuckling to himself before he makes his way to his room, the dim, purple LED lights in your vision as you watch him close the door behind him.
***
It’s been a day since you, Changbin & Chan had that talk & in all honesty, it’s all you could think about. ‘Have you embarrassed yourself by saying yes so quick?’ ‘will changbin think differently of me for saying yes?’ ‘what if chan changes his mind & i look like a freak for agreeing without him agreeing’ are the three main things that race through your mind, no matter how much you try forget about it, it’s just impossible!
The guys are doing something in the studio at the minute, & you decide to try deep clean your boyfriend’s bedroom to take your mind off it.
You strip the bed, of course finding a pair of your underwear.. or two inside his pillowcase, but you don’t bother to even question it, honestly quite flattered that he is so nervous to do anything with you physically but doesn’t think twice about stealing your used panties to jerk off to.
You re-fold his messy clothes that have just been thrown into the drawers, not too many noticeable creases in them to the point you feel the need to iron them, before plopping yourself back on the now fresh sheeted bed, a bit worn out from all the work you’ve just done.
As if it could be called perfect timing.. or worst timing, you hear Chan & Changbin get back to the apartment & you quickly realise they sound completely like normal, giggling about stuff you don’t understand & you take a sigh of relief, thinking that it won’t be as awkward if & when you have to face Chan again.
They part ways as Changbin returns to his bedroom, his eyes widening slightly at the tidied room & he is quick to pretty much leap on top of you, pecking you all over your cheeks before holding his upper half with his arm muscles as he looks down at you, a hand of his on each side of your head, laying on the bed.
"Chan spoke to me by the way, he said he will help us, are you still okay with all of this? I don't wanna make you uncomfortable y/n & you can seriously tell me if you don't wanna do it, or if you have any doubts whatsoever we can just tell him we changed our mind, If i have to force myself to man up, i'll do it." he murmurs, a bit shy in what he says, not usually being so forward with you unless it's just flirting, his chubby cheeks flushed red & his hair still a bit damp above you with sweat from the gym not too long prior.
You are honestly surprised at the fact Chan actually said yes, especially with how long it took for him to come to a conclusion, not that you were rushing him in any way, but you mostly thought that because you hadn't heard anything, it would have been a no.
"It's fine Binnie, I haven't changed my mind, but I still want you to be involved, I don't wanna fuck another man in front of you & you not doing anything." you suggest, but it's not really a 'suggestion' & it will only happen if he is involved, your mind is completely made up about it & Changbin is quick to nod at your words.
"I was planning on that anyway! I don't wanna be a complete cuck y/nnie I still need to be taught!" He pouts before lightly knocking on your shoulder in the same way you notice he loves to hit his members when he's happy or flustered before he nuzzles himself in your neck, not caring that he is pretty much inhaling your hair, the faint smell of the shampoo he also uses coating the strands.
"So uh, when does he.. wanna do it?" you ask, taking the time to rake your fingers through his curly & slightly frizzy hair & Changbin leans into your touch, tensing when your fingers hit his sweet spot.
"He said to just tell him when we want it, why, you want it that bad?" he teases you & you jokingly push him off of you & he can't help but giggle.
"it's not like that Bin! Just wanna see you & also it makes sense to kinda.. do it now-ish? because Jisung is gone so there's more privacy & Jisung is usually glued to Chan's hip if not Minho's!" you murmur, your ears burning red as you avoid his eyes with your own as you then flip onto your stomach & your legs sway slowly back & forth as you reach to play with Changbin's poodle hair.
"That's true, do you want me to get him like... now? I don't know how to go around this, should I let you shower or something first if you want?" Changbin suggests, pulling you into him, hugging you & you move your head to give him a peck on the nose before eskimo kissing him, which makes you both giggle.
"I showered earlier, I don't know what to do either, we can just go with the flow mkay? It's Chan who's joining us, not the other way around so we have the power in our hands, if we don't like it or change our minds i'm positive he won't mind." you respond & Changbin nods beneath you.
"You're right, I'ma go get him, mkay? It only goes as far as you want it to, so don't be scared to tell Chan no!" he says as he wriggles from you & blowing a kiss to you which you pretend to catch before he leaves the room & you can't help but chew the inside of your cheek with anxiety.
A couple of minutes later, Chan is trailing in behind your boyfriend & he is wearing a lot comfier of an outfit than what you usually see him wearing to the gym, going for some plain grey sweatpants & a tank top & his wide shoulders & his big biceps that are so deliciously toned & the veins running up his arms, which you don't fail to miss.
Chan shuts the bedroom door behind him & Chan takes it upon himself to sit beside you on the bed, before signalling Changbin to sit on the opposite side, you now being sandwiched between them both.
"Okay so uh.. are you completely okay with all of this y/n? Don't be scared of hurting my feelings because trust me you won't, we just want everything to be completely clear." Chan speaks out, his australian accent decorating his voice which you can't help but take a lot more interest in now given what is going to take place.
"I'm sure, don't stress it, Binnie wants help & he trusts you to do that & besides, you're an attractive guy so why would I turn it down" you chuckle & Chan returns it, not being able to stop himself from blushing.
"So uh, Bin, what is it that you want me to 'teach' you?" he looks past you & over to your boyfriend, who is playing with a loyalty ring he bought you when he first asked you to be his girlfriend with his fingers.
"Uh, kinda.. everything? But I still need to be involved, y/n wants that." he says, a chirp in his voice as his hand tightens around yours & you smile at Chan, confirming his words & Chan nods.
"Okay, so what are your guys.. limits? Yes, no's & maybe's?" Chan questions, his voice trying to sound nonchalant but it's not hard to pick up on the fact he is probably even more nervous than you or Changbin are.
"Uhh, I can't really think of anything, oh wait, no cumming inside or wear a condom" you speak & Chan nods again, his eyes widening slightly, not expecting to have been having the opportunity to fuck you tonight.
"Okay, Changbin, I have condoms in my left side second drawer, can you go get me a condom?" he asks as he moves his hand to rest on your thigh & Changbin hums a yes response before leaving & Chan takes it upon himself to lean in & kiss you the second you look at him & both of your lips fall into place pretty much instantly.
You're quick to notice how soft his lips are around yours as he takes control of it, you get so lost in it you barely register the fact that your boyfriend had already made his way back into the room.
"You guys look hot together, I don't know if i should be extremely turned on or jealous" Changbin remarks, his dimples poking in his cheeks as he sits behind you this time before pulling you up the bed so you're sitting between his spread legs with your back against his chest & Chan is quick to follow, setting himself facing you between your own legs.
"Maybe you just have a kink for it, can see the edge of your cock under the side of your sweatpants" Chan replies, chuckling. "I can feel it too" you respond & Changbin tuts at your teasing, hiding his face in your neck as he starts kissing the soft skin, the faint smell of body wash still scenting it.
"So I'm right in saying you've obviously kissed before so I don't need to teach you both that, why not you try touching her, Bin? Watch." Chan says in a soft voice as he grabs one of Changbins hands that are resting on your waist & brings it up to your left tit over your clothes & Chan takes a hold of your right one & they both feel & then find your nipples from above your shirt & they both quickly notice you've not put a bra on & Chan subconsciously bites hit bottom lip, buzzing at the thought.
"Try twisting it like this, not too much but have a firm grip on it, rub your thumb over the bud, you can lick your fingers too, makes it nice n wet, can I lift your shirt y/n?" Chan asks, his other hand running along the hem of your... Changbin's shirt that you've stolen for yourself & you nod at his request.
"Bin, can you take it off for us?" he chirps, looking at the man behind you, who is looking not back at him, but instead down at Chan's fingers, following not only hi words but mirroring his actions, almost in a daze before he snaps out of it at the sudden question & nods his head rapidly & you raise your arms up to help your boyfriend strip you.
Your nipples stiffen up at the feel of the air around you all but you don't ponder on it as their fingers resume their place on your tits, & you melt into the touch as you lean further into Changbin, soaking yourself in the feeling, finding comfort in the rapid heart beats coming from his chest.
"Gonna go further now, alright?" chan speaks up & you nod your head, your eyes not bothering to open your eyes & you can feel your boyfriend nodding behind you, his fingers not stopping their actions on your hard bud.
Chan licks his fingers before bringing it back to your nipple before bringing his other hand to your skin, slowly dragging it down your naked stomach & waist, before bringing his hand to the waistband of your baggy shorts & Changbin takes the time to pat you on the cheek & when you open your eyes, Chan is looking up at you, nonverbally asking you if he can continue/
"Go on, please" you murmur as you spread your legs that tiny bit extra & Chan smirks up at you both before he makes quick work of removing your shorts completely, now leaving you completely nude now since you also so happen to have chose to not wear underwear & your legs quiver at the cold hair hitting your core, already dripping at this point, & Chan is quick to tell you how wet you are.
"Bin, come sit around here" Chan speaks & Changbin lets out a small whimper as he forces himself to detach himself from your nipple, which in his humble opinion, is probably the prettiest thing he has ever seen that isn't your face, but his opinion is quick to change when he crawls to sit himself down next to his friend as you help give them more room by shuffling upwards just enough so you can lay your head on the pillows.
You try to shut your legs, feeling awkward & shy at the two men staring at your naked cunt, clenching around nothing but Chan is quick to stop you from shutting them, holding them open.
"Keep em open pretty, look how wet you are, you're lucky Bin, gonna show you how to touch her & eat her, okay?" Chan speaks to Bin & when your eyes land on your boyfriend, you can tell how nervous he is & when he rests his hand on your knee, you stretch your arm to hold onto his.
"Speak Bin, just relax, it's just us, you need to focus if you wanna learn" he doubles down, tapping his friends arm, snapping him out of whatever trance he's in.
"Can't help but daydream, you're to pretty." not talking directly to Chan, but you instead & you hide your face in your arm.
"I know, like I just said you're real lucky, watch my hand mkay? You wanna tease a bit first, makes it more interesting." chan chirps as his fingers finish trailing down your skin, now landing on your outer lips of your cunt before he starts slowly spreading your wetness, not as if you'd even need it anyways since you're beyond gushing anyway & the sensation of his slightly calloused fingers dragging across your pussy but you physically twitch when his fingers finally directly land on your clit.
"Here's where the clit is, it's the easiest way to make a girl cum so make sure you actually remember where it is & find out, it's uncomfortable for the girl if you rub next to it, but don't do it too rough or hard because it's really sensitive, like this." Chan further continues as he starts visibly demonstrating as he speaks, his index & middle finger rubbing slow circles on your clit, making you whimper & both of their eyes shoot up to you at the sound, both of their cocks getting even harder if it was possible.
"You can tell if they actually feel good by their reactions, you can see her pussy clenching around nothing, do you know how to finger a girl Bin?" he asks, not bothering to let his eyes become unglued from your pussy, his fingers already drenched in your wetness.
"I've watched tutorials on pornhub & I've done it with the very few fucks i've had, i know how to" he stutters as he feels the need to bring his own fingers to your pussy, it looking far too inviting for him to keep his paws off & you instantly feel as if your skin is on fire.
Chan takes the opportunity to remove his fingers from your clit & you let out a whimper at the loss of contact as your hips try chase his fingers but it's short lived as your boyfriend's fingers take their place & start working at their own pace, different but not bad.
His fingers are a bit more clumsy than Chans despite him concentrating that tiny bit extra but your butterflies are intensified a billion times more by knowing it's him touching you & you can't stop yourself from looking down to look at the pretty boy in front of you playing with you like this & without him looking away from you, he leans down just enough so he can perfectly let a glob of spit land on your clit & you jolt.
"Binnie, want your tongue." you mumble, trying to keep your composure, nibbling on your bottom lip. "Wanna taste you" he replies, sounding more dazed than you are before he is moving his hand away from you & you quickly sit up & start tugging at his shirt & he quickly takes the hint & takes it off & you flop yourself backwards again as Changbin lays down between your legs, his face just centimetres away from your pussy, your wetness already causing a wet patch on the bedsheets.
Chan takes it upon himself to crawl up your frame & sits on the back of his knees before pinching a nipple with his right hand as he brings his left hand down to your cunt, pulling the skin upwards, exposing your already swollen clit just that tiny bit extra to help his friend.
Changbin takes a moment or two to just simply admire how gorgeous your pussy really is, & he has to mentally slap himself because of how long he's put off sex because of his own nerves, not knowing that literal perfection was so close to him.
Before he can doubt himself, he lets his lips suction onto your pudgy clit as he starts swirling his tongue around it & you instantly doubt the claim that he's bad at sex because he is acting like a natural.
"Fuck Bin, tongue is good" you whimper, your voice shaky as he slurps up your juices along with the pool of spit that's uncontrollably rolling off his tongue & your fingers weave into his curly hair.
"He making you feel good, babe?" Chan questions as he brushes the now damp hair from your face & he looks down at you with a cheeky smile, but you're too out of it to snap back at him, instead, you look down at his sweatpants that he's still wearing & you can easily see the huge boner he's sporting & you can't stop yourself from reaching to start pawing at them, & thankfully he takes the hint.
Chan takes his sweatpants off, leaving him in just his boxers. "Off cha, th-those too" you fight the words through your moans & but he does as you say & takes off his tank top too while he's at it, now totally naked too but instead of joining you both back on the bed, Chan is walking over to the bedroom door & opening it, & much to your shock, but not to chan or changbins, Jisung is standing right outside the door with his leaky cock in his hand, now frozen in place.
"I thought I heard you whining outside, we're busy & I thought you were with Leeknow?" Chan speaks, a complete monotone voice, almost as if he's not standing completely naked with his heavy, veiny cock in his hand.
"W-wanted to j-just listen, can I join? s-sounds pretty." he murmurs, his big boba eyes darting from you, to chan & then to changbin, just to repeat the motion over again & Changbin has detached his pretty lip from your clit, breaking the suction seal on your pussy before rubbing your clit with his fingers again, the feeling more intense with how sensitive his tongue has made it as you start grinding against him, unable to even think of a response to give Jisung.
"It's not my choice, it's y/nnies, but I don't think she's able to talk, I'm teaching Bin well, aren't I?" Chan asks, hinting a response for Bin & he let's himself enter not one but two fingers into your cunt before quickly setting a decent pace, his other hand's thumb flicking your clit at the same pace as best as he can.
"So well hyung, ask y/n it's her who to ask" Changbin chirps, his voice flushed out as he slows down the grinding on the mattress as he looks at the doorway & Jisung fixates his eyes on you, teary.
"Just c-come in -fuck bin, come in Jisung" you cry out & Jisung pretty much gallops into the room, past his naked friend & he pretty much hops onto the bed as he shakes his clothes off & chan makes quick work of following him, not bothering to shut the door behind him.
Changbin doesn't bother to ponder on the fact that Jisung is now here, instead completely focused on the way you're clenching around his chubby fingers, feeling your orgasm bubble up, it feeling different to when you're just masterbating on your own.
"Bin, think i-ima cum, so goodd" you squeak as you grip onto Jisungs arm beside you without thinking & Changbin's ego gets boosted by the words you spit out & he takes the chance to suckle back on your clit again, making sure to pull on the pudge of it to get better access, just like what Chan did & your legs convulse around his head as you try to force yourself to keep them open, but Jisung takes it upon himself to straddle you with his back facing you, holding your legs open, also giving himself a perfect view of his friends tongue & lips engulfing your pussy.
"Cum for us babe, if it feels good just let go" Chan remarks & you look up at him with glossy eyes, dazed & fucked out as you let out a squeal as you bubble over, your orgasm flushing throughout your entire body as your toes curl around him & your fingers clench so hard around his fingers he's force to pull them out, a white cream ring around the base of his fingers.
Jisung reaches down to grab at Changbin's wrist before pulling the fingers that just fucked you up to his mouth before licking your own orgasm off of them, groaning at the taste, his drool coating his fingers & he takes it upon himself to tease you all by gagging on his fingers but to not really anyones surprise, Changbin just looks up at him in awe, his fingers finally slowing down on your clit, letting you come down from your orgasm, which he learned to do from porn.
"Did so well for us y/nnie, do you wanna keep going? We can stop here if you're too worn out we can do this another day if it's too much, no stress." Chan speaks out as he pulls Jisung off of you & onto the place on the bed he just was, Jisung laying next to you now & he turns his head to give you a smile, which you mirror.
"Wanna keep going, want you Bin." you make grabby hands & Bin crawls up your frame to kiss you & that's when you feel that he still has his sweatpants on & he doesn't even need to be asked before he's taking them off along with his boxers, his thick cock hitting against his toned tummy, making you drool.
"Want to feel you so bad Bin, please binnie." you murmur as he holds himself above you before he leans down to kiss you, but you're both interrupted by the sounds of Jisung & Chan moaning beside you & when you turn to look, Chan has his own & Jisungs cock wrapped in his palms as they grind against each other, using their own precum as lube & with how wet their cocks are, they could give you a run for your money & you'd be lying if you said you aren't even more turned on now, Jisungs legs wrapped around Chans ripped frame as Chans thick cock almost hides Jisungs with the size difference as their sensitive tips bash & glide against one anothers.
You can feel Changbin freeze up a bit when you reach down to grip his cock with your hand when you try align it with your cunt & you reach to caress his cheek. "It's alright Binnie, you've already made me cum you're good!" you pretty much cheer, your voice soft & Chan can't help but overhear it & he has a bright idea.
"I'll guide you Bin, Jisung you're gonna help us, mkay?" Chan asks & Jisung already knows where it's going & he nods with stars in his eyes as he flips around so he's on his knees before dropping from his hands so he's arched, his already stretched hole on display for Chan & Changbin to see & you can't help but feel a bit left out that you can't see it from where you're laying down.
Changbin & you look over at the sight, honestly extremely surprised at how... comfortable they are to do this with one another.
"Are we missing something? Do you guys hook up & none of us knew this?" you giggle & Jisung lets out a pouty whine, turning his face away from you to avoid your gazes.
"There's nothing wrong with having fun on our own, like Changbin's said, being idols give us a horribly busy schedule!" he whips back at you as he makes quick work of grabbing the condom that Changbin collected earlier from the floor & he rips open the packet before rolling the condom onto his cock.
"it's easy Bin, promise. Everyone obviously has a G-spot & you need to try find it, it's more spongey but if you've felt it with your fingers, your cock will definitely reach it so don't stress, go in slow & then pick up the pace, & don't just have messy thrusts you gotta keep a rhythm" Chan instructs as he takes his own cock in his hand & aligns it up with Jisungs already lubed hole, from when he was actually prepping himself just before he started jerking off outside the door.
Changbin stumbles with his hands for a minute before he copies his hyung in the room, not only his heart but also your heart racing as he decides to beat Chan to the chase & he pushes himself inside you, the width of his cock a huge stretch to just his fingers, & Changbin stalls inside you half way, partly to let you adjust but also to stop himself from cumming on the spot with how tight & warm you are, the way you're clenching around him is suffocating in the best way possible.
Jisung looks at the reaction on your face & he can't wait any longer as he then starts shaking his ass on his dick, trying to persuade his hyung to just give him what he wants & Chan can't hold himself back any longer & slides himself in quite quickly, knowing Jisung loves the painful but pleasurable stretch from the roughness & he lets out a choked noise that makes you gush.
"Y-you're so tight jagi, oh my- oh my god" Changbin squeaks, his eyes struggling to not roll to the back of his head & you look up at him with love hearts in your eyes, your brain malfunctioning as you reach to hold onto his biceps that you love so much, the choked gurgles of Jisungs whines & squeals filling the room.
Changbin forces himself to piece his mind together again just enough to start fucking into you at a good pace & you're just so full you swear you can feel him coming out of your throat almost. "S-so big Bi-binnie, doing so good" you cry out & by this point you've genuinely forgot that your boyfriends two closest friends are literally fucking beside you & you won't be surprised if you dismiss the huge puddle of spit on the bedsheets as your own later.
Chan reaches down to start jerking off Jisung at the same pace as his cock is thrusting into him & literally just after a couple of pumps of his cock, he is cumming all over Changbin's bedsheets with a wail as he spasms & shakes beneath Chan, but he doesn't let up.
Chan takes a second to look at you & Changbin & deems his work as done in terms of getting him comfortable to fuck you, & he can tell you both need no more help & he scoops up Jisung & carries him by the inside of his knees, his back touching his chest as he takes them both out of the room to make way to whatever next surface he can fuck Jisung against, leaving just you & Binnie together, not that you could be paid to care at this point.
"Y-you're so pre-beautiful, so good" he babbles above you as he flops forward enough to kiss you, tongues wrapping around one another as he hits that gummy spot his fingers were rubbing against earlier & your whines jump up an octowave.
"Shit bin, wa-gonna cum, pl-please" you cry as you break the kiss to try catch a breath or two but you hold your breath in shock & happiness at Changbin's response.
"Cum, p-please, I- i love you jagi, ss-so much, so good" he gibbers as he brings his hand down to your clit again, rubbing more messy circles on your clit & your toes start curling but you force yourself to hold back your orgasm for the time being, as tense as a rock beneath him as squelching noises fill the room, his cock almost completely slipping out every time he retracts himself, your hand reaching own each time he does so just to make sure you can quickly slide him back into his probably new favourite place if it happened.
"I- love you too bin, prett-prettiest boy" you whimper & at those words matched with you then pulling his head from your neck once he nested it there & kiss him again with your hands cupping his chubby cheeks & he lets out a small squeal as he is cumming before he can warn you & at the feeling of him filling you up & the way he pulsates in you, your own orgasm hits you too & he accidentally bites down on it & you moan that extra bit louder at the feeling.
You both come down from your orgasm, panting & huffing on top of one another, only the sounds of Jisung being fucked by Chan just down the hallway, but your mind is too all over the place.
"I me-meant what I said by the way, sorry it took my friend to help me fuck you." he murmurs, his voice sounding raspy but chirpy.
"I meant it too, I looooveee you! & don't stress it, it was hot anyways." you emphasis it further by pecking him all over his face, his cute dimples plastered on his cheeks as he gets shy.
"I can still hear Chan & Jisung fucking, if you want we can go join them, since you think it's hot" he half teases, but you can tell he isn't really joking. "you'll need to climb off me if you want to go, hurry before Jisung is fully spent!" you snap back & you can feel his cock that was just starting to go limp inside you chub back up before he's pulling out as he picks you up & pretty much sprints to what turns out to be the living room & Jisung on his knees sucking Chan off & you're quick to land on your knees beside Jisung, poking your head in to get a taste as Changbin sits beside chan a Jisung switches places with you.
->I really don't think I like this im afraid</3 but I could potentially do a part two but it won't be until after kinktober & after i finish my part two to my felix smut so please be patient mwah x
->Taglist & anon list is open! @jisungml
#skz smut#stray kids#skz x reader#skz#han jisung#bang chan#changbin#changbin x reader#changbin smut#bang chan smut#bangchan smut#bangchan x reader#changbin headcanons#bangchan headcanons#hanjisung headcanons#han jisung x reader#3racha#3racha smut#skz scenarios#skz imagines#straykids x reader#straykids smut
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can u write a smut of an insecure plus sized goth reader x johnnie please? she's a virgin and after being together for a few months she asks him could they do it, and he eats her out n fucks her n stuff 🙏🙏 make it really soft pls and thank u i love ur work btw 🖤🖤
୨୧ Batty love ୨୧
pairing: Johnnie Guilbert ♡︎ goth!fem!Reader
warnings: ୭̥⋆*。 smut, losing virginity, getting eaten out, general shenanigans
summary: ʚ johnnie isn’t gonna let you being inexperienced stop him from devouring you ɞ
Words: 2234
An: i know this isn't the best but I'm legitimately do sick rn 😞
SUPPORT ME
You haven't stopped looking at your phone for at least two days. Johnnie, your boyfriend, had just hard-launched your relationship for the first time on Instagram. And to your shock, 95% of the comments were so positive. Everyone complimented your goth appearance.
This much praise was addicting. Being plus size meant a lot of insecurities made by the pathetic losers of society. There were of course a few nice comments… those weren't the ones you kept staring at. Criticizing your looks or body.
Johnnie had warned you about this happening, and you promised him the world knowing about you two was worth it, and it was, but god did it hurt. Johnnie Was out streaming with Jake today so that left you alone for a good few hours.
It was useless trying to wait around crying over some loser online who couldn't handle the fact their celebrity crush didn't pick them. You sat up rubbing your face carefully not trying to hit your piercings at all. You scrolled around on your phone’s playlist before connecting to a speaker.
You started to shift through your closet to come up with an outfit. Maybe you and Johnnie could go out tonight? It was hard to get dressed in full goth normally, especially when you weren't feeling good about yourself.
You settled on a long black skirt with silver shiny bats that were sporadically speckled on it and paired it with an ‘i ❤️ emo boys’ t-shirt with a corset. You put your outfit on by pairing your black stockings and fishnet top for your arms.
You sat down at your desk singing along to your beloved playlist. You turned your light on your mirror searching for your hair clips. You managed to locate them by clipping your hair out of your face. Your music was briefly interrupted by a text notification.
You pick up your phone and it is from Johnnie, ‘should be done soon. Just filmed for Jake's, we're gonna do mine now. Probably just dick around Walmart or something. See you soon love 🖤’ you smiled at his text.
You responded back within seconds ‘Have fun filming (but not too much fun without me lol) 🖤🖤’
You sat your phone down, adjusting your shirt, and you started on your makeup. You put on primer, then foundation, the concealer, and to finish your base off you pack on some powder letting it sit on your face. You pulled out your phone and snapped a selfie of your half-done make-up.
You stuck your tongue off a little for the picture. You posted it on your main Instagram story with a goth song of course. Your Instagram gained quite a few followers from Johnnie’s post. It was exciting and also very scary.
You decided the powder baking on your face was about done so you brushed it off. You grabbed your contour brush and packed some onto it. You started to carve your face onto the white base using the black powder.
Now it was time for your eye makeup. It was the hardest part. You spent a good while meticulously adding your eyeliner and eyeshadow. Once you were done, sufficiently looking like a bat, you finished it off with black lipstick and some setting spray.
You put on accessories and teased your hair to high heaven. And you were all ready. You sprayed some perfume on and looked in the mirror. Fuck did you look good. You posed a little admiring yourself, you took your phone out again and decided to take a few pictures.
This time you posted them as posts and not a story so anyone could say anything. It scared you but you couldn't hide forever. You were dating Johnnie and no one could change that.
It took only a few minutes before the comments came rolling in. All of which were positive, it made your heart soar with all the compliments. You were smiling until you read one: ‘Johnnie eating good tonight’ . It was a nice comment and funny naturally.
There was just one issue. You and Johnnie haven't had sex yet, and furthermore, you have never had sex. Ever. Sure you used a few toys here and there but never has another person shared such an intimate moment with you. You had already worried yourself sick about this. Johnnie Was sexually active and therefore, inevitably he would want to have sex with you.
You were ready… you think at least. You wanted to, of course you did, have you seen your boyfriend? He was such a fucking hottie. You had plenty of dreams of ripping his clothes off and going under the covers. You were just nervous.
You did actually weigh a lot more than your boyfriend and no offense to him he wasn't exactly built to handle all you could offer. The nerves rattled through your body. But you were a full-grown woman and there wasn't anything wrong with taking your time to have sex.
If Johnnie didn't understand that (which you're sure he would) then this wasn't the relationship for you. You shook your thoughts of breaking up with Johnnie away. This wasn't a time to worry.
It was only a few more minutes before Johnnie came home. He stepped into your apartment, and he stopped when looking at you. His jaw faltered open. “Wow, how are you mine?” he asked, closing the door, his hands wrapping around your waist.
“From your strapping good looks and charm of course.” you purred, moving a strand of his hair from his face. You planted a small kiss on his now-exposed skin. “Yeah sure,” he murmured against your hair, planting a small kiss on the top of your head.
You smiled at him, your eyes holding each other. His eyes seem to almost darken looking at you. You pull him into a kiss, one he gladly returns. His hands are holding onto your corseted waist. Even through the thick fabric, you can feel him clutching your body.
Your kisses got more heated as he started to move his hands down your body. You had done this with him before. It didn't scare you much anymore. Of course it was nerve-racking, but not scary. His touch felt so nice even if it was through your clothes.
He slowly moaned into your mouth as you gently tugged his hair. “Fuck,” he muttered slowly pulling away from you. He wrapped his hands into your pulling you towards your couch. Your nerves jumped into your throat knowing what was coming.
And yes you wanted to so fucking bad, you needed your hot boyfriend inside you. He gently pushed you onto the couch, you fell back ruining your cute decorative pillows. He positions himself between your legs, his mouth hungry to devour all of you.
You wanted to enjoy him you really did but your heart was pounding out of your chest with nerves. “Johnnie-” you asked quietly against his lips. He pulled back sensing your worry. “We haven't done anything yet-” you started, unsure how to keep going you stayed silent.
“It's fine if you don't wanna, you know, tonight.” he spoke softly, “No trust me I want to. It's just that I've never done that before. I've never had sex before.” you confessed. You could see his eyes widen. You felt like you were holding his breath.
“Woah, really?” he asked, leaning towards you, a small cheeky smile plastered on his lips. “Yeah, not that I’m waiting for marriage or something but I don't know I just haven't yet,” you said shrugging. “That's ok, are you still down to or?” he asks, staring at you sheepishly.
“Of course I am, I just need you to be slow I guess,” you whispered to him. He glances at your lips for a minute, “I can do that.” he says before your lips crash onto one another.
His hand crept down to your ankle and slowly started to run his hand up your legs, he reached the end of your stocking. He hooked his fingers over the clothing and pulled them off your body repeating it for your other leg.
He looked into your eyes as he slipped his hands back under your skirt, hooking delicate fingers over your panties and slowly pulling them off your body. The feeling of his hands on your thighs was sending waves of pleasure to your core.
You've been horny before but nothing compared to the feelings you felt as your boyfriend slowly lowered to his knees. Kissing up and down your legs. “Are you doing ok?” he asks between kisses up your thighs.
“Y-yeah I'm good,” you said quietly, eyes watching Johnnie like a hawk. He smirks against your skin. He slowly pushes your skirt up your body revealing your bare legs. He placed a tender kiss on the top of your cunt.
You swore you could see stars with the amount of pleasure That coursed through you. The end of your fingers and toes felt tingly and cold. Johnnie moved up to face again, he slowly started to kiss you again. “M’gonna move my hand now. Like my fingers ok?” he said against your lips.
“Ok,” you whispered back, and you spread your legs widely for him. He slowly dipped his finger into your sopping cunt. You let out a gasp at the sensation. He slowly pumped his finger in and out of you. It felt good but it wasn't enough for you.
As if Johnnie could read your mind, he pumped out of you once again. When he entered back in he had two fingers this time. It stung for a second or two then pleasure returned to your body as he started to curve his finger into you.
“Oh fuck.” you moaned out, you can guess how people get addicted to this feeling. You felt like a little pervy teenager with raging hormones. The feeling of Johnnie hitting your G-spot repeatedly was sending you over the edge.
“Johnnie.” you mewled out, to nothing in particular. “I need more please,” you begged, having a sense of missing something. “If you insist on it my love.” he pulled out of you, his fingers dripping wet. You watched as he crouched down further.
He kissed slowly on your thighs before reaching your clit. He pressed a soft kiss right on your spot. You felt yourself clench over nothing and it drove you wild. He continued kissing down until he reached your hole. He slowly prodded his tongue into you.
Very gently at first to help you get used to the feeling. You felt the pleasure tenfold as soon as he began to rub your clit, fully pumping his tongue in and out of you. “Oh fuck hold on,” you murmured to him.
He stopped cocking his head slightly. You quickly snap off your corset, immediately releasing tension in your gut. You quickly pulled your shirt off, your bra going with it.
You were now naked minus the skirt bunched up around your waist. “M’fuck.” he whispered looking at your tits. He had what looked like a painful erection at this point. His skinny jeans looked like they were gonna burst open.
“You ready?” you asked him, gesturing to his painfully hard erection. “Fuck yeah,” he whined undoing his studded belt, he started to further undress himself. You followed suit pushing your skirt down.
Once he was completely naked, he leaned down and started to kiss you again. He wrapped his hand around his cock and pumped a few times attempting to get ready for your body. After about a minute he lined up his leaking cock to your entrance.
He slowly pushed into you. You let out a wanton gasp as he bottomed out. “Fuck.” he growled into your ear. He fumbled around trying to find your hand and brought it down to your clit. You started to rub to your pleasure.
At the same time, he started to push into you slowly at first then after a minute he began to push into you at a quicker pace. “Fuck your so tight. So glad I get this pussy all to myself,” he whined into your ear. You couldn't hold yourself anymore. The coil in your stomach was going to snap.
You felt The familiar feeling bubbling in your stomach and your limbs. “Im gonna fucking cum.” you whined out, grabbing at his torso and leaving a long scratch. Johnnie held your eye contact nodding at you.
The coil finally snapped, your walls clenching around him. “Johnnie-” you whined, your back arching. Your body shaking from your orgasm, sent him completely over the edge.
Hit ropes of cum splattered inside you as he fucked you through his own orgasm. Your breath slowly returned back to your body as you saw Johnnie cleaning your body up with a damp towel.
“Are you ok?” he asked quietly, tossing the rag into the laundry basket. He misses but he just took his girlfriend's virginity so he isn't particularly worried about where it landed. “Yeah I'm fucking great right now actually,” you murmured.
He giggles pulling his clothes back on. You did the same, pulling out your phone to see your makeup completely fucked. Your eyeliner and mascara dripped down, the sweat sucking your makeup into your skin, your lipstick beyond fucked.
You pulled out your phone and snapped one last photo for your Instagram
#johnnie guilbert angst#johnnie x you#jake and johnnie#johnnie x reader#johnnie guilbert fluff#johnnie guilbert smut#johnnie#johnnie guilbert x you#johnnie guilbert x reader#johnnie guilbert#johnnie guilbert x goth!reader
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˖⁺‧₊˚✦ 𝓛𝑒𝓉'𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒹𝑜 𝒶𝓃𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒶𝓇𝒾𝑜𝓊𝓈 ✦˚₊‧⁺˖
Hi, I'm Emma! Welcome to my writing blog, where there's banter abound!
I'm currently writing Astarion x f!reader fics, but am open to requests! Be warned: My content is NSFW so if that's not your thing, feel free to skip it! MDNI
Where else can you find me?
AO3 // Main Blog (I reblog tons of bg3 stuff over there!)
𝔅𝔢𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔅𝔞𝔯𝔡 - (Posted in order chronologically)
An Evening to Ourselves (18+): When Astarion propositions you for the first time, you're anything but excited. // AO3
“I, uh-” It was too much. The look on his face was too intense. You felt too exposed despite the layers of armor currently clad to your body. “I’m scared,” you admitted quietly. “Don’t be,” he whispered, leaning in and kissing you on the cheek. “I’ll be gentle.”
Just to Ruin Me (18+): The morning after you spend the night with Astarion, you learn another thing or two. // AO3
“You don’t have to tell me any of this right now,” you said. “A lot has changed in the past few hours and there’s no rush in sharing these things with me. I know how hard it was to talk about your past the first time.” “It was necessary, though,” Astarion looked over at you, his expression determined. “You needed to know what we might be up against. And you might need to know this too.” “If you want to tell me, then I’m happy to listen, but please don’t force yourself for my sake.” Astarion released a puff of air from his nose. “You keep doing that.” “Doing what?” “Asking me what I want. Letting me choose.”
Cheeks All Flushed (18+): It's time for the Tielfing party! Antics ensue. // Part 1 // Part 2 // AO3
You looked at him thoughtfully. “Hang on, weren’t you and Karlach trying to get drunk?” Astarion giggled stupidly. “Yes.” You snorted. “How’d that go?” “Fine,” he sighed. “Takes me a lot longer to get drunk. What with the dead liver and all.” You furrowed your brow. “Wouldn’t lacking a working liver make you drunk immediately?” Astarion whined, “I don’t know, but Karlach is completely inebriated and I only have a buzz I can already feel fading.”
Perfect Every Time (18+): Before your party travels into the Underdark, you and Astarion catch one last sunrise together. // AO3
You got up and joined him in the ankle deep water. “Do you want to try right now?” Astarion thought for a moment and clicked his tongue. “I have a better idea, actually.” He gave you a sideways look, his lips quirking up slightly. “What?” you matched his smile. Rather than answering, Astarion reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. You furrowed your brow. “Looks an awful lot like you’re preparing to swim.” He started fiddling with the clasps on his pants and groaned in your direction. “Swimming is not the only thing one can do while submerged in water, dearest.” He gave you a sensual smile that sent heat to your cheeks.
Worth the Peril (18+): Upon arriving in the Underdark, you go down in a battle, leaving Astarion to pick up the pieces. // AO3
In another life, Astarion would have made a decent barbarian. Despite Karlach’s cheerful demeanor, for the most part, barbarians were known to be violent, brutal, and cruel. All things that Astarion could easily tap into if the situation called for it. And right now, he was entering a rage.
ℜ𝔢𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔰 - (ask box is open!)
Awfully Fond of You 🪴 (18+): Instead of sleeping with Astarion on the night of the tiefling party, you ask to bathe him instead. // AO3
You gathered the bucket that was still floating nearby and submerged it until it was filled about halfway with water. “You can either dunk yourself, or I can pour this over your head,” you held the bucket out for Astarion to see. “I’m actually quite enjoying you taking care of me, darling. I trust you won’t drown me.” “A mistake,” you said, pretending to dump the bucket over his head all at once. “Can vampires even drown? It’s not like you need to breathe.” “I’d rather not find out, if it’s all the same to you,” he smirked.
More to come!
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Cute things the drdt girls do for you
A/n:episode 15 was pretty great, I might post my full thoughts on it and chapter 2 as a whole next week when it ends maybe
Teruko tawaki
Follows the sidewalk rule
The sidewalk rule says that when two people are walking on the sidewalk the one who is stronger and/or can take a hit better is the one who walks near the traffic, and teruko follows it...only with you
She has actually been hit by cars before because of her luck (you were very concerned when she randomly dropped that in the middle of a conversation) so protecting you from that is her main priority
She kinda does it subconsciously, gently gripping your wrist and guiding you on the right side, when you ask her why she did that she just blushes and blurts out "I don't want you to get hit by a car"
She actually did get hit when she was with you once but you were unharmed while teruko had to go to the hospital
"I'm so so sorry teru, I should have been more careful"
"Don't worry, at least you're ok, plus this isn't the worst accident that ever happened to me"
"........You're literally covered in bandages and casts"
"Yeah and?"
You start to think her luck actually works because of how she can survive stuff like that
Min jeung
Writes love letters
Min spends a lot of her time writing, be it papers, notes or her schedule. Writing is a big part of her day-to-day life, but what she loves writing the most is definitely love letters for you
Her grammar and handwriting are impeccable, even her punctuation is on point. The only way you can tell that it's a love letter and not an English essay is because of the heart drawn at the bottom
There doesn't have to be a specific reason for her to write you a letter sometimes she just feels like doing it, and you love receiving them,they're a written testament of her love for you
Sometimes they're in really cute envelopes with stamps and everything. she loves seeing your reaction to reading them
"Hello y/n, I have written this to inform you that unfortunately, I won't be able to hang out with you today as I have an important test, feel free to come to my dorm at around 7 pm though, I should have finished by then, I know I could have texted you this but a letter is more romantic don't you think?
Love you
Min jeung" ♡
P.s.:If you see Charles, do you mind telling him thanks for helping me in chemistry? He was a great help
P.p.s.:Yes, don't worry, I'll remember to take breaks, I know how you get if I don't
Arei nageishi
beats up people for you
Ok, it's more than that. It's more how she treats you compared to other people. She's way nicer to you compared to everyone else. Sure, she still teases, throws light insults at you, but you know she doesn't actually mean it...unlike with everyone else (except eden)
She's more than ok with people insulting her. She's used to it by now, and she can easily verbally abuse the person until they cry, but when someone insults you then they truly fucked up
She'll be smiling and giggling with you while the unconscious and bloody body of the person who was unfortunate or stupid enough to say anything negative about you is near her .....you didn't even know she was that strong but now you're kinda scared of her even if you know she'd never hurt you
She also kinda does it to receive compliments and praise for you, she expects you to be flattered and in awe at what she did for you, which you are, but you're also too worried about her to really compliment her
"Not everyone likes you, you're not y/n"
"Not everyone likes y/n"
"......names"
"......What?"
"Give me names bitch, I'll shut their mouth for good when I find them"
Hu jing
Makes you packed lunches
Listen, we all know how much of a mom this girl is. She practically adopted nico. and as her partner, you're definitely on the receiving end of her motherly tendencies
She scolds you when you don't clean your dorm,constantly sends you texts to make sure you're ok, and always checks during the day to make sure you've eaten enough and the best way to assure that is making you lunch herself
Everything always tastes great and incredibly fresh (definitely way better than what the school gives you), but you still feel kinda embarrassed. Even when you try to reject it, she'll try to feed you to make sure you eat. She also definitely wipes your mouth when you're finished
She also writes you a cute note saying things like "hope you have a great day, remember to stay hydrated and study hard" which......doesn't make that much sense since you always eat together in the cafeteria and she's literally standing near you as you read the note but it's so adorable you don't carea
"Come on Darling, you need to eat, don't you like what I made for you?"
"N-no it's not that hu, it's......embarrassing"
"Y/n l/n if you don't eat that, I'll make you....even if it's embarrassing, you still need to eat enough"
"......o-ok"
".....you too huh?"
"Hi nico.......yeah"
J rosales
Gives you her hoodie
Most of her classmates have seen j without her hoodie only on rare occasions, unlike you who have seen her like that multiple times
It's often when it's cold outside, j notices and takes off her hoodie to give it to you, you're very surprised and ask her if it's OK since she'll be cold too then but she just dismisses it and says that you're more important
If you compliment her on how pretty and cool she looks without it on, especially how beautiful her hair looks (I genuinely really love her hair, it looks so cool), she'll blush a lot and maybe ask for her hoodie back so she can hide her face in it (like she does in her sprite)
She'll actually start to wear her hood down more after you compliment her hair enough, because she secretly wants you to do it more but is too embarrassed to ask
"You sure about this j? Won't you get cold?"
"Nah, it's fine, if it really gets cold, I'll just put another one on"
"Cool, thanks so much babe"
"You're welcome"
".....did i mention your hair is pretty?"
"*blushes* y-yeah this is like the fifth time you said it"
"Sorry I can't help it if it's true"
Veronika grebenshchikova
Gifts you plushies
......kinda, it's more accurate to say she gifts you what once were plushies. Some have their heads ripped off, others are covered in blood with one of their eyes missing, it's creepy but sweet...in a Veronika way
Sometimes, she doesn't even give you the plushies directly. They just..... appear on your bed, the only way you can tell Veronika was the one to leave them is because only she would and could do something like this.....you still have no idea how she gets in your dorm but are too afraid to ask
She also gives you plushie and merchandise of every horror movie you can think of. One time she gave you a very haunted looking doll, like the one from Annabelle, and you could have sworn you saw it move at night
When you have movie night at your dorm (which happens very often), Veronika likes to snuggle with both you and all the plushies in your bed as you do the same, it's actually really comfortable
"*sigh* I hate group projects"
"Come on, teruko, I'm sure we'll get it done fast"
"Whatev-.......WHAT THE FUCK?"
"Oh those are the plushies Veronika gives me, aren't they cute?"
"1;NO THEY AREN'T 2: that's not what i meant.....WHY THE HELL IS VERONIKA IN YOUR ROOM?"
"Oh hi vero"
"HI darling, I just wanted to put this new plushie I got you in here"
".......the door was locked, y/n just opened it, how did you get here?"
"Oh yeah she does that, I don't know either"
"*giggle*"
"......You two are deranged"
Rose lacroix
Remembers everything about you
Ok, she remembers everything, period, but that's especially true for you. Any date that is important to you, like a birthday or a special event (like your first kiss) instantly becomes important to her too the moment you mention it, and she'll most likely give you gifts for them
Any food you like and dislike as well as any possible allergies you have are always on her mind when you're eating together, she could even order for you at restaurants if you want, she knows your tastes perfectly after all
Any gifts she gives you always is something you like, no matter if you just mentioned it once to her she remembered and got it for you, there doesn't even need to be a special date for it, sometimes she just feels like it and gifts you something
Unlike basically everything else, your information, likes, and dislikes are actually things she wants to remember and willingly keeps them in her mind. She loves you, so all of this is extremely important information to her
"Hey y/n, do you like this? I just finished painting it, take it"
"Oh it looks great, but why do you want to give it to me? It's not my birthday or anything"
"Oh no, I know, but it is your mom's birthday isn't it? I wanted to give it to her so she'd think I'm a good girlfriend"
"Oh OK....yeah it is. How did you know?"
"You told me, I think it was about.....three months ago, we were talking our families and you brought that up"
"You remembered that, that's so cool"
"Eh, I guess perfect memory comes with some pros....sometimes"
#danganronpa despair time#danganronpa despair time x reader#teruko tawaki x reader#teruko tawaki#min jeung x reader#min jeung#arei nageishi x reader#arei nageishi#hu jing x reader#hu jing#j rosales x reader#j rosales#veronika grebenshchikova x reader#veronika grebenshchikova#rose lacroix x reader#rose lacroix#x reader#gn reader#drdt x reader#drdt
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Hi! I'm sure everyone tells you this, but I absolutely love your writing. Seeing your new posts always brightens my day :) It's a silly request, but could I ask for the elves reacting to a reader who's a Starfleet officer/from the Star Trek universe? TYSM and sorry if this isn't what you usually do
Thank you for your kind words, anon! It always brightens my day to hear that this blog brings people joy ♡
As for your request: People who’ve seen my main blog will know I’m a Trekkie, so I couldn’t let this classic fandom crossover slide haha! I’ve turned Reader into a Vulcan working as a Starfleet officer who ends up in Middle-Earth by accident (damned transporter interference…)
Enjoy the read and – of course – live long and prosper!
・゚✧ Arwen.
Arwen is probably one of the best inhabitants of Middle-Earth to run into if you’re stranded in an unknown place. Whether you get beamed into Rivendell or to the riverbends of the Bruinen, the Elven lady is quick on her feet and recognises you as someone in need of help – especially when others speak of you with great suspicion. “Do not listen to their words. They have no meaning where my heart is concerned.”
Arwen is kind and curious, making it increasingly hard for you to follow the Prime Directive. She must not know about your starship, but of course it is senseless to try and hide your worries from her attentive gaze. Though she might not know of your dilemma exactly, she promises to help you find your way back home and always wants to make sure you’re comfortable in this strange world, being openly affectionate and sometimes even touchy with you – until she sensed that holding hands meant a bit more to you than an Elf… ♡
.
・゚✧ Elrond.
The Lord of Rivendell, Elrond, works almost as logically as a Vulcan, which impresses you. He is a master of knowledge and a lore expert with a vast collection of literature at his disposal. I like the idea that maybe the Prime Directive would not even concern him because he has heard of star-faring people but always considered them legends, until he met you.
Not only is Elrond an intelligent conversationalist – he is also the most considerate and kind host you could have wished for. He respects your drive for finding a solution to your problem but also endows you with comfortable quarters to retreat into, as well as a vegetarian menu to eat. To further help you clear your mind, he’d invite you to a session of harp playing. The music is soothing, not too different from your Vulcan lute – and yet entirely new – fascinating!
.
・゚✧ Galadriel.
The Lady of Light knows of your presence in Middle-Earth even before you yourself do. She immediately senses that something is off and delights when she finally gets to meet you. “How nice to have a face to the stranger on our earthly shores,” she’d whisper in your head. Her fascination with you is intense and maybe even scaring you a bit. However, logic suggests you have nothing to fear of her.
Galadriel’s resources and ancient knowledge, as well as the futility of upholding the Prime Directive, make the search for a way back to your ship easy. Before you go, however, Galadriel would ask you to join her telepathic palace – which you agree to. Her mind meld is more powerful than any you have ever performed before. It gives you a glimpse into her internal lights that are eons olds and yet young and beautiful. To remember it, Galadriel would give you a strand of her legendary hair as a parting gift ♡
.
・゚✧ Haldir.
Honestly? Haldir running into a Vulcan might be the funniest combination in this post – the stone faces would be off the charts! At first, the beautiful Elf and his ability to hide his emotions (minus his thinly veiled contempt) would fascinate you, as well as his matter-of-factly duty of keeping you out of Lothlórien. Maybe you’d point out, “It would seem we are both simply following our orders.” – “Indeed.”
However, you can be just as silent and stubborn as Haldir, so the two of you would probably spend an entire night just staring each other down, until he has had enough and finally escorts you to his Lady to make you her problem instead of yours. It is obvious to him that you do not belong here, so his sense of duty makes him care for you – which he would never admit to, of course!
.
・゚✧ Legolas.
Initially, Legolas would think of you as a fellow Elf lost in Mirkwood, which is good for the Prime Directive but bad for someone as untalented with lying as you. Eventually, you’ll informed him of your suspicion that the two of you belonged to entirely different species. He would ask you about your body then, as well as your workplace and perhaps your family. But after the friendly ‘getting to know you phase’, Legolas knows your weaknesses and will try to mess with you – in a playful and non-hostile but all-too Human way, testing your patience and logic alike.
That said, he will do what he can to help you get back to your world and ask many questions about it. “What is it like? To fare the stars as if they were islands in an ocean? What does the moon look like up close? Oh, there is no moon in your world? There hasn’t always been one here, either. Look that way… up, silly, not at me! You see it…?” ♡
By the way: The young Romulan warrior Elnor, a main character from Star Trek: Picard, has an Elvish name according to the showrunners. One meaning of “el” (as in the names of Elrond and Elros, for example) is star, and “nor” means run. In both Sindarin and Quenya, dear Elnor’s name roughly translates to “Star Trek”!
Being candid and brash, a skilled fighter and absolute sweetheart, I think he’d get along splendidly with dear Legolas, for example...
#(captain barbossa voice) the prime directive is more like guidelines#lotr image#star trek imagine#lotr headcanons#lotr x reader#elves x reader#arwen x reader#elrond x reader#galadriel x reader#haldir x reader#legolas x reader#* ask#* request#* fluffy#* AU#(introducing this tag even though this is more of a crossover!)
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22 ASK! THANK YOU! :DDD
@a-weird-bean-bag
They are not related by blood, no. (Blood? Frosting..? Filling?? Anyways-)
Red is actually Seafoam's great Nephew. And he joined the crew because of a tradgedy involving his mother,, Seafoam's niece..
When Red joined the crew he was very shy and scared of everything. Coco at this point was a rough and tough pirate gal.. but man, something about that kid.. she just adored him. She took it upon herself to take care of the little guy and be his guardian.
She loves him to bits and has definitely taken the role of "mother" in his world. When ever the ship is under attack, she is the first to swoop in and take Red to safety. She is the one Red goes to when he cant sleep or is scared. She takes care of him when he is sick, she cleans his clothes and feeds him too.
Seafoam has made it very clear that she does not have to do any of this. And that Red is 100% his responsibility. But she just ain't havin' it. She chooses to be involved in Red's care and wouldn't have it any other way. 💖
Its a good thing too, Seafoam has no idea how to raise little kids <XD
(Also thank you so much!! :DD )
👀👀oh?
@yoylecake420
Sorry uh- I don't know that character. I made some OCs for Cookie run but I haven't played any of the games, I don't know the lore and I don't know/remember any of the characters- sorry!
Ah,, I don't know? <XDD I don't know how the games work- are there other types of cookies?? I don't know--
Judging by what I've heard/seen of that game? They'd run for the hills! They're not safe there <XD
<:D Ah sorry- I don't know who that cookie is- remember I haven't played either game and I don't know any of the lore!
@storylover2
.....OH-
THERES MORE??--
Also thank you so much!! You are beary nice :}}}
@universal-hunter
AAAAWE!!! :DDD THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :}}}}💖💖💖
@couchwow
Thank you for the no spoilers!! :DD I have not seen it but I have heard of it :0 perhaps sometime I'll give it a go! :}
@thetiredpenguin
Man, cookie run lore is WILD XDDD
@sparkdrawsstuff
Thank you! My day today was better than yesterday at least! XD
@keakruiser
AAAAA THANK YTOIU SO MMUCH!!! :DDDD 💖💖💖
I've drawn them twice actually that I can remember! Once in my FNAF Recap/Repair part 2, and once in a doodle dump post thing! :00
@elegantjellyfishmemachine
:0 eh? Huh? Til what?
@readeren
I actually haven't thought much about that :0 I worried that the group wouldn't feel very diverse if I had duplicate characters.. but the opposite personalities but same person is genius! But whompst would be duplicated... 🤔
@blissthewolf
Hello! I believe I do write scripts, but if I'm being honest I don't think I can scrape together even one sentence of sound advice for you- 💔😭💔
I am known to be very bad at explaining how to do things. A lot of what I do is just taking random things and stapling them together and ripping off some parts and gluing this here and put that over there and tada! Comic! "How'd you do that" "...Honestly I cant really remember-"
The only think I can think to say is figure out what you want to come from the scene and.. do what ever it takes to make it happen..? Uhhh- for example, "I want these two characters to fight and character A to leave in a huff." Well then give them something to fight about, and make character B say something that would make character A mad enough to leave without saying anything..?? But that doesn't explain how I would figure out what the argument would be about- I
I'm afraid I am of no use to you here-
@neo-metalscottic
AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I'm glad you like my minecraft guys and my cookie run critters! :DD And not to worry- He'll catch on XD right now the main thing keeping them some what apart is Seafoam's thoughts of "She's a beautiful mermaid, why would she be with an old Captain like me..? :( " And Blue's thoughts of "He's a well respected Pirate Captain! What would he see in a big whale like me..😔" But they get past that eventually-- XDD
And yes! I have drawn them before <XD although those drawings weren't made with my Mario AU in mind.. When they grow up they will definitely be more stylized. :0 Not sure how they'll interact with Bowser as they age, but they are intended to all be his biological children :)
As for the birth order, I haven't thought it through fully,, but I have decided that Ludwig is the oldest and next in line for the throne. And JR is the very youngest with Lemmy being second to youngest. And Larry being 3rd to youngest :00
@solst1ce-sketches
Thank you! And to be honest if the D.A was split and gender swapped, I would just slap on some eye lashes and make them both generally appear more feminine.
Glitchy sun tho.. man, how would Fazbear Entertainment deal with that? <XD
@minnesotamedic186
Thank you!! :DDDD
@rubyplayz12
Wah??
(Post in question)
XD Well? Did it work?
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i can see you - tom riddle x fmc/reader
part II
loosely inspired by "i can see you" by taylor swift.
“I've been watchin' you for ages
And I spend my time tryin' not to feel it”
summary: She had always fancied Tom Riddle. It was an infatuation that bordered on love and obsession, that she had secretly grown and cared for, content with indulging in her fantasies and never bold enough to try and make them become reality.
When she meets him again in her adulthood, dormant longings resurface together with a newfound desire to be the object of his own devotion.
As their paths keep crossing, she starts to think he feels the same.
tags: afab mc, use of female pronouns and no descriptors (i tagged it as x reader because i guess it could be read as such if you use the same pronouns), somewhat period-accurate clothing, courtship (just a little because it's still tom riddle), fmc has a crush on tom, she's a bit anxious, a bit of fluff, explicit sexual desire, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, woman is on top.
please note that mc has a crush on tom, therefore the way she refers to him could sound a bit cheesy and exaggerated. i edited this last night and didn't read it again before posting. i'm sorry for any typos or grammar mistakes i missed.
bear with her in this one, she's a little anxious.
words: 6.7K
you can find part I here, I strongly recommend you read that one first.
this is me crawling out of my hole of shame to post this chapter.
i'm really sorry for this very late update, but the smut chapter is finally here after many days of writing (but still in time for smutober lol).
it's not crazy smut, but i hope it was worth the wait.
Part II: And I could see you up against the wall with me
She tapped her foot, pursing her red lips as she jotted a few numbers down on a parchment. She sighed, taking another folder from the pile on her side and checking if the reports corresponded.
When Serena, her boss, had showed up that morning with two delivery men in tow, she already knew her day was going to take a detestable turn.
Serena had dropped three boxes full of last year's reports in the office and sprinted out of the door before they could say anything and try to stop her.
Apparently she had hired a cheap accountant to save money and now she had to review everything before the Ministry noticed and demanded an audit. Or rather, Serena had asked her to do it.
She was now holed up in the backroom while Will had taken her place in the main office, since Serena didn’t pay her enough to care about customers and save her from bankruptcy at the same time.
She glanced at the clock, noting that it was almost time for her usual break. She chewed the inside of her cheek and returned to the reports.
She wasn’t in the right mindset to meet Tom.
The day she had gone to see him had been like the calm before the literal storm. In the past week it had rained so heavily that she had had to give up on going out and he hadn’t come to post his letters. What had happened between them had been left unresolved.
She had replayed it so many times in her mind, at night and during idle moments in the office, picturing different ways in which it could have ended, desperately wishing she could indulge in his warm lips again.
The first few days she had fretted about it, but as the week had gone by without a word from him, she had just started to accept it as the normal course of things. Perhaps it had just been an extraordinary event, a moment that wasn’t going to repeat itself and that she needed to find contentment in. Perhaps it was supposed to be one of those memories she was going to return to in twenty years, thinking about everything she could have had, or it will sour in her mind, turning into regret while her lamenting soul grieved the possibilities of youth, the chances she had been too scared to take.
It didn’t matter that she was conscious of the anxious butterflies leading her decisions, she still didn’t want to find out if what she saw in him was just a product of her infatuated imagination.
She immersed herself in numbers, refusing to go down that rabbit hole again.
Fifteen minutes after the end of her break, a customer walked in. A beat of silence followed and then Will said, “She’s in the back.”
She almost jumped out of her seat, her heart rate picking up. She quickly smoothed her hair and sat straighter, crossing her legs.
Tom appeared in the doorway, his arm half raised as if he had wanted to knock. She pretended she had just noticed him.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Hello, Tom.” She gave him a mellow smile.
He was so good-looking, with his perfectly styled curls and black coat in the muted light of the cloudy morning. Her heart fluttered painfully.
He looked hesitant as he made his way to her and handed her a folded magazine. It was the weekly crossword.
“Thank you,” she said, taking it as her gaze met his. The way he was looking at her was so compelling it was impossible for her to divert her eyes.
He had been thinking of her, she realised, he had noticed her absence, perhaps even missed her.
“I hope I’m not disrupting your work.” His gaze trailed to the numerous papers scattered on the table.
“Not at all, a distraction is more than welcome.” The distraction of his presence was most desirable.
He drew closer, reading through them as he casually rested his hand on the back of her chair.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Maths mostly,” she replied, fiddling with the parchments to hide her nervousness.
He reached out over her shoulder to grab a folder but she placed a hand on his arm to stop him.
“I’d rather you didn’t. It’s still work.”
He dropped his arm. “You’re right, I apologise. I don’t wish to put you in an uncomfortable position.”
“It’s fine.”
He stepped to the side, tickling her neck.
“I’ll see you later?” he asked.
She had to stop herself from grinning.
“Of course.”
She watched him with desirous parted lips as he left. He said goodbye to Will and she heard the door closing. It was only a matter of minutes before Will came to pry.
She grabbed the crossword, flipping through the pages. He had bought her her favourite one.
As she got up to put it next to her bag, a small note fell to the ground. It was a plain piece of parchment. But as she picked it up, ready to throw it on the table with the rest of the documents, words started to appear.
Her breath caught in her throat. She knew to whom that elegant and neat handwriting belonged.
She read the note. Then read it again to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating.
“I hope to see you more often in the future.
You look stunning with that lip colour.
T.R.”
She brought her fingers to her mouth, staring at the words until each swirl of ink etched into her mind, terrified they might disappear.
Instead his message remained there, visible, tangible, real. He had taken time to write her a note, to think about something he knew she’d appreciate.
Something warm diffused in her chest, a new version of a familiar feeling, and a giggle escaped her as she realised the ridiculous effect he had on her.
She was so engrossed in her reverie that she didn’t notice Will standing in the door until he cleared his throat.
She quickly hid the message in her purse and he was so considerate not to comment on it.
“How is it going?” he asked.
“Awfully slowly, these numbers are all over the place,” she huffed, returning to her chair.
He dragged a chair and sat across from her. He started bouncing his knee. “I know you’d prefer not to talk about this, but how are things between you two?”
She stopped twirling her quill. “What do you mean?”
Will shuffled awkwardly in his seat. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you but I’d hate to see you hurt.”
She tilted her head to the side, disliking the territory the conversation was heading towards.
He was struggling with his words. “He never- I never saw him interested in a girl. I just want to be sure you know what you can expect from him.”
She averted her eyes. “I have considered all the options.”
“And?”
“And I don’t know, Will!” she bursted out.
Her flare of annoyance suddenly deflated, making room for embarrassment for what he probably saw as naivety.
“I know I’m probably getting ahead of myself.”
“You are smart, I just can’t stand watching you smile at the things he writes to you.”
She feigned offence and threw a balled up paper at him.
“When you find someone, you’ll be just as ridiculous.”
He laughed and steepled his fingers in front of him. “I’m curious to know, when did it start?”
She scrunched her eyebrows, thinking about how much she wanted to reveal. “I don’t remember exactly. It was more like a sequence of events, until one day I was anxiously waiting for him to sit at his usual spot at breakfast,” she replied with a smile. Will was smiling too.
“You and half of Hogwarts,” he said.
She chuckled. “I miss those years sometimes. Everything was simpler.”
“I used to worry about everything,” he admitted. “But fears always seem so big.”
They really did.
“What do you like about him?” he asked after a beat of silence.
It was her turn to be at a loss of words. “He’s handsome…and always so mysterious. I think I always liked him because it was easy to imagine him being exactly what I wanted.” She looked at him hesitantly, fearing judgement, but he was just listening. “But I think it’s impossible for me to dislike the real him.”
They shared a small moment of closure. She had always wished for someone she could confide in, someone that could help her see beyond the fabrications of her wary heart, and perhaps she had finally found them.
The bell chimed and Will got up.
“Do you want to come for lunch on Sunday?” she asked.
“I’d love to. I’m sorry for earlier, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
His gaze shifted between the door and her. “Just make sure you both want the same thing.”
He went back, leaving her at the mercy of her insidious brain and foolish heart.
Throughout the afternoon she had opened the note at least three times, giggling like a schoolgirl everytime she read his words.
Her mind kept straying to what he had said.
“I’ll see you later.”
She wasn’t sure what he had actually meant. Was he just going to stop by or was he going to wait for the office to close? She wasn’t even sure she could see him today, since she expected to stay late to solve Serena’s mess.
Will popped in. “I have to check something at the owlery. I’ll be back in a while.”
“Alright, I’ll see you later.”
The door opened and closed and then she was submerged by stillness. It was soothing almost.
She had found out long ago that she enjoyed being alone, it freed her of any kind of expectation.
She turned up the heating with her wand and took off her jacket. Since they couldn’t light a fireplace in a room full of paper, they had refined a spell that kept the room warm and the humidity away.
It was a few minutes after the usual closing hour that the door opened again. She knew who it was.
He walked in, his cheeks slightly flushed from the cold and his lips reddened.
“Are you still working?” he asked.
She nodded. “I’m afraid it’ll take a while before I’m free to go.”
“It’s not a problem,” he said, grabbing her crossword and a quill and sitting down on a chair, bending one leg so that his ankle rested on his other knee.
Her face heated as she watched him but she didn’t say anything.
As she returned to her work, she realised that silence was a strange assistant. It felt like every sound was heightened and she was becoming keenly aware of everything that was happening. The scratching of their quill on parchment, paper being flipped as she checked the numbers or he looked for a crossword he liked, his soft breath threatening to pull her close like a magnet, her absentmindedly chipping her nail polish.
She kept throwing glances in his direction and she could feel his eyes on her from time to time.
An unspoken craving was growing between them again. She had waited long enough.
She slowly got up, gathering her reports and stacking them in a neat pile. She then took them and walked over to the shelves, conveniently passing by Riddle in doing so.
As she stored them, his chair scraped on the ground and she felt him draw closer. She deliberately turned around, meeting his eyes.
His gaze was deep, like he was trying to read every thought that crossed her mind just by looking at her. She wasn’t going to lay them bare for him.
He raised his hand, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “Did you get my message?”
“I did,” she replied, stepping forward and trailing her fingers down his suit jacket, feeling the fabric. “You keep mentioning it but this is the first time I’ve seen you all week.”
“It was storming all week,” he pointed out.
She tilted her head, finding his eyes again. His eagerness was palpable. “Still,” she said.
He grabbed her waist, pressing her body flush against his. “And you still haven’t answered my question.”
She had thought about that moment since then.
“Tell me what you desire the most.”
What could she tell him? That she had been pining for him for so long she couldn’t imagine herself with anyone else? That she was jealous of even thinking about him with someone else? Will’s words played in her mind.
She leaned closer, murmuring against his ear. “Not until I know why you’re here, Tom.”
She left a kiss on his jaw, phantom lips brushing against his flawless skin.
“It’s a really uncomplicated answer,” he said, caressing her back.
“Explain it to me, then.”
Tender amusement tugged at the corners of his lips. “Do you really think I came here because I don’t own an owl?”
His words pulled at her heartstrings with raw delight and her mind went blank. Adrenaline was rushing through her as she listened to her impulses. It was enough, at least for now it was enough.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and tangled her hand in his hair, involuntarily tugging at the strands as she leaned closer. She could feel his warm breath as he pulled her in, gripping the silky fabric of her blouse.
She met his lips halfway, the burning touch consuming her as he pressed her against the shelves, one hand lost in her hair, the other splayed around her ribcage.
She bit his lower lip, smiling as it elicited a groan from him and the kiss became more demanding.
It was a moment frozen in time, where she wanted to stay forever, like the scenery in a snowglobe.
“Hello?”
A man’s voice abruptly pulled them apart. She was breathless as she realised she had forgotten to lock the door. Was this a conspiracy?
Tom was slightly panting and she left a small kiss on his neck.
“Don’t leave,” she whispered.
She used a finger to fix her smudged lipstick and went to see who had just dared to interrupt them.
There was a man standing in the office.
“We’re closed,” she said.
“But I saw the light on.”
There was a twitch in her jaw. “We are closed to the public. I must ask you to come tomorrow morning.”
He rolled his eyes and she ignored his grumbling as he left, locking the door behind him. When she went back, Tom was leaning against the table.
He turned his head towards her as she languidly got closer. She forgot pleasantries, immediately grabbing his face to kiss him again. He was quick to react, wrapping his arms around her.
His mouth trailed down, kissing her cheek, her jaw and then pressing against her neck, soft lips and the occasional scrape of his teeth.
He grabbed her waist and spun her around, flattening her back against his chest and brushing her hair away from her neck to bite and lick her skin. His hands travelled down and he started gathering the fabric of her skirt.
Merlin, it was finally happening.
He caressed her inner thigh, tracing patterns and snapping the nylon of her stockings as his fingers moved excruciatingly slow.
Finally he pulled her underwear to the side, feeling the wetness between her folds with his fingers as his other hand cupped her breast.
She threw her head back against his shoulder as he stroked her clit, eliciting a sigh out of her, and she grabbed his thigh for support.
“I won’t drop you,” he murmured, amused, against her ear. He rubbed his palm over her clothed breast, the friction causing sparks to jolt through her body.
None of her fantasies came even close to what she was feeling right now.
“Should I trust you?” she asked, biting her lip to suppress a moan as he sunk one finger inside of her, his thumb still applying pressure on her clit.
“Such a great timing to ask me that,” he replied. She felt him smile on her skin.
“We don’t really know each other, Tom.” She dug her fingers into his flesh as he slipped in a second finger and started fingering her, stretching her as pleasure morphed her features.
“And yet you are letting me do this.” He squeezed her breast, lewd wet sounds filling the room as he kept moving his fingers inside of her.
She leaned her body weight completely on him, her legs unsteady as it was precarious the beating of her heart.
He let out a low moan as she yanked his hair to catch his mouth, biting his lip hard to gain better access, their tongues tangling together.
He curled his fingers inside of her, an unrelenting wave of pleasure washing over her.
She stopped to imagine what it would be like if he dropped to his knees again, if he started kissing and licking her, if she could watch him at her mercy between her legs.
She realised in that moment that the fall down the precipice was inevitable. Tom had threatened to push her but she had allowed him to succeed, jumping into an abyss that felt unending but that could only allow two conclusions to her story.
What she had told Will was true. She loved the fantasy, all the glances, conversations, gestures that had never happened, that she had delighted herself with when the reality was harsher, but as she kissed him she knew that falling for the real Tom was unavoidable. Not if he kept touching her like that.
It was bound to happen, it was part of her story, the decision she was brave enough to take.
She focused on him, on the circles his thumb was drawing on her clit, on the indecent sounds falling from her lips, on his groans on her reddened skin, on him growing harder against her back.
He pulled her hair back, tilting her head to meet her gaze. His eyes glimmered with rapture while hers were heavy-lidded, tension building inside of her.
He didn’t take his eyes off of her, as if he wanted to memorise each detail of her, the way she looked at him, the way her lips parted slightly and the way she panted as she was nearing her orgasm.
“Just like that, darling,” he murmured, a pleased smile on his lips as he noticed she was still blushing.
She threw her head back, losing herself in the motion of his fingers, surrendering herself as blissed moans spilled out shamelessly. She squeezed his soaked fingers, and he kept moving, stroking her throughout her climax.
She panted, coming down from her apex in a flurry of emotions and flustered thoughts. He raised his wet fingers to her lips and she opened her mouth, tasting herself on her tongue as she sucked on them, never breaking eye contact.
“Good girl,” he said, holding her jaw and kissing her.
It was a slow kiss, meant to explore her depths in a different way from the breathless and unrestrained passion from before. She leaned into his palm, her hand closing around his wrist.
His arms snaked around her waist and he turned them around, pushing under her thighs to lift her on the table.
The kiss transformed again.
Teeth and tongues met with vehemence, burning urgency guiding their movements as he brought her legs around his waist and she quickly started to unbutton her blouse.
But at the third button, she stopped.
Tom noticed the shift in her demeanour and drew back, observing her. Her eyes flew to the clock, as she had just remembered about Will.
She noticed with disappointment that they had no time.
“What is it?” he asked. She didn’t miss the urgent tone of his question.
“Will will be back any time now,” she replied, leaving a peck on his lips.
He cleared his throat and stepped back, composing himself. She got off the table and
cool hands unexpectedly reached her again, adjusting her clothes and stockings. She shivered at the contact.
He smoothed her skirt and put his coat back on, watching her as she scribbled something on a piece of paper and gave it to him.
“If you want to stop by one of these days.”
“I remember where you live,” he replied, reading the address she had written down.
She shrugged, holding out one finger to wipe away the lipstick at the corner of his mouth.
“Do you have to go back to work?”
“I was supposed to meet with a potential supplier, so yes.”
“I’d stop by the bathroom before,” she advised, gesturing for him to go as she herself needed to compose herself again.
She braced herself against the threshold, leaning her head on the hard wood as she watched him unlock the door and leave.
Then she was alone, finally finding an answer in the cluster of hypotheses that had tormented her mind.
Two days later, as she was returning from her meeting with Serena, she found Tom waiting for her.
He was talking to Will and they both turned to her as she entered, feeling tremendously self-conscious.
“How is Serena?” Will asked.
“Dim-witted as always,” she replied, earning a laugh from Will.
Her eyes trailed to Riddle, holding an unspoken question.
Will seemed to notice because he stepped forwards.
“It’s quite late, you can go if you want, I’ll close.”
Tom didn’t wait for him to repeat himself, pushing down the handle and holding the door open for her.
She mouthed a ‘thank you’ to him and followed Tom outside. Once in the street, she huddled herself in her coat and took the arm he was offering her.
“May I walk you home?” he asked.
“Of course,” she said, a little breathy, still not immune to the chivalrous manners he always had with her.
They strolled through the streets, passing by scarcer and scarcer people as the stores emptied and everyone returned home seeking a tranquil evening.
She held his arm tightly, her fingers tracing delicate patterns on the fabric of his coat.
The first time they had walked together it had felt like an accident, a singular mistake in the already waved threads of her life. This time, she yearned for so much more than she wanted for the error to repeat itself; she was willing to cut the strings herself and tie them back together, as messy as it might have looked.
They crossed the road and he gently put a hand on her waist, pushing her away from the pavement.
“Would you fancy dinner?” he asked. There was a foreign quality in his voice and when she turned to look at him, he averted his eyes. She blinked bewildered. Was he nervous?
“I’d love to,” she replied and she noticed his chest rising like he had just begun breathing again. “But not tonight.”
An almost imperceptible smile cleared his expression at her answer and she leaned her head on his shoulder, basking in his mere presence.
When they reached her front door, she looked for her keys with embarrassingly clammy hands.
As she lifted her head to ask Tom if he wanted to stay, she found his eyes impatiently boring into her bag.
“Would you-”
His gaze snapped to her, serious and scorching. “Don’t even ask.”
Something coiled between her legs at the way he was looking at her. She nodded and walked up the few stairs to her door, unlocking it.
“Second floor,” she said, more to fill the silence than anything else.
They stepped into the building, the sound of her heels and the soles of his shoes hitting the stone ricocheting through the empty hall.
She turned to gesture to him to follow her when he grabbed her face, kissing her as he pushed her against the wall by the foot of the stairs. Her hands tangled in his hair, tugging at it just as she suspected he loved by the way he always pressed himself harder against her.
He curved his palm around her cheek, better angling her face as their tongues met.
“I have a nosy neighbour,” she said after they pulled apart to catch their breath. “She is probably spying on us through her peephole.”
Tom didn’t think twice about it, taking her hand and leading her up to the second floor. She stifled a laugh as she unlocked the door, Tom’s lips skimming against her neck as she did, and was left breathless when he closed it unceremoniously behind them, resuming from where they had been interrupted.
As she dropped her bag and grabbed his waist, walking backwards into her living room, she remembered there were clothes somewhere - perhaps in the bathroom but she wasn’t sure - that she had forgotten to put away yesterday.
In any case, Tom didn’t look particularly interested in how tidy she was.
They quickly took off each other's coats and discarded them on the floor.
He sat on her sofa, pulling her down with him.
She was straddling him, her knees digging into the plush cushions as his hands appreciatively caressed her back, moving up and down and occasionally squeezing. She lit the fireplace with a wave of her hand.
She rocked her hips, rubbing against him and eliciting a long awaited moan from him. She grabbed the collar of his shirt, their lips collading so hard she was sure she cut him.
She helped him out of his jacket and vest and undid his tie, smoothing her hands on his white button-down.
“I’ve waited too long,” she said, quickly unbuttoning his shirt and grinding against him. Her hands disappeared under his undershirt and ran over his pale chest, lightly scratching his skin.
“Slowly, my dear. We will get there,” he replied between kisses.
His palms kept tracing her thighs and his face buried in her neck, nibbling at the thin skin.
When she was a small girl, before she discovered sex, Tom Riddle was just a boy she liked. During puberty, sharing stories and questions with her friends, she started to understand what was the sensation that passed through her everytime she was close to him, the one that made her cheeks redden and her mind go somewhere she wasn’t yet comfortable with.
As an adult, sexual relations weren’t unfamiliar to her, but this carnal longing, the need of a physicality that went beyond her skin touching his, was.
He opened her blouse, revealing her silk slip and bra underneath.
She wanted to touch his soul, to hold it and comprehend it.
Her eyes fell on the tattoo on his forearm, black tendrils of ink in the shape of a serpent slithering out of a skull.
“Does this have a meaning?” she asked.
He followed her gaze, blinking surprised at her question. “It does.”
“Am I prying too much if I say I’m curious to learn it?”
He bit his lip, opening and closing his fist as if he was scrambling for words. Or perhaps he was just determining if he could trust her.
“It’s a reinterpretation of the ouroboros, the snake eating its own tail,” he finally said. “It symbolises eternity and the renewal of the being after rebirth.”
She traced her fingers on his skin, following the outline of the snake. “And what does your interpretation mean?”
“There is time to talk about it later,” he whispered, his teeth biting her neck and sinking lower, kissing her collarbone and her sternum, moving the fabric covering her breasts to the side.
She let go of the subject. She knew what it meant not being comfortable sharing your life.
He held one breast between his fingers, latching his mouth over the other, sucking her nipple and twirling his tongue around it.
She moaned, rolling her hips faster as he revered her bosom, the cold air hitting her moist skin and making her shiver as he took her other nipple in his mouth, lightly tugging at it until she reached the point where pleasure and discomfort mixed.
“Since we are in the mood for confessions…” she said between moans. He raised his head and looked at her waiting for her to continue. She hesitated, collecting all her courage.
“Why did you pursue me?”
His eyes softened, glimmering with fondness. He brushed a strand of hair away from her face.
“Because there is something extremely valuable in your devotion.” His voice was an intimate murmur, a confession no one else could hear.
She freezed, turning her head to the side to hide her mortification.
He took her chin, searching for her eyes until she finally gave in.
“Don’t be embarrassed, darling, I respect it, I understand it. Obsession keeps us alive, it’s what drives us.”
She swallowed the lump of embarrassment in her throat. “Do you enjoy it?”
“Being the object of the desire of such a woman? Of a witch? I do,” he replied, and he was so direct and earnest that her heart swelled.
He lifted her to sit on the sofa, sliding down on his knees on the floor and taking off his shirt and vest. She remained silent as he rolled down her tights, his lips gliding down her smooth skin. He unbuttoned her skirt and helped her out of it, tracing patterns on her inner thigh as his other hand felt her damp underwear.
She tensed, something tightening in her lower abdomen and her eyes fell down to his trousers.
He kissed the crease of the thigh, like he had done that one time at Borgin and Burkes, but this time she wasn’t letting anyone interrupt them.
He took off her underwear, his movements deliberately slow, and kissed her everywhere, except there.
His lips felt hot on her skin, searing her flesh like she had often dreamed about, carving his way into her body the same way he had done with her mind and heart, until her entire soul was consumed by him, until he could finally close that fist and feel her in a way nobody had before.
Her breath hitched as he delicately kissed her mound, spreading her legs apart. She leaned her head against the backrest, licking her lips with anticipation, and she couldn’t contain a whimper as he felt his tongue dragging down her slit, sweet and cruel.
He took her clit in his mouth, sucking on it as his hand splayed on her abdomen to keep her still.
She squeezed her eyes shut, overwhelmed.
“Look at me, darling,” he murmured against her folds. His breath was warm and pleasant.
She obliged, meeting his devilish grinning figure between her legs. She was incapable of looking away as he resumed his work, she didn’t want to look away. She wanted to watch him, finally allowing herself to fully indulge in him, in what he wished to do for her.
She observed his curved eyelashes, the way his perceptive eyes followed her reactions, refining his movements to please her better.
He sucked her labia and she moaned loudly, the idea of him enjoying this as much as her being exhilarating.
He threw her leg on his shoulder, resulting in her figure sliding down the cushions and him gaining better access to her.
His tongue probed her entrance as he coated his fingers in her wetness. He slipped one finger in, working her thoroughly as she gripped his hair, keeping his head in place.
He inserted a second finger, his tongue on her clit moving accordingly to the delighted sounds she emitted.
“Tom,” she cried urgently as she tried to press herself harder against him.
He curled his fingers inside of her and her hips jolted upwards, arching her back to an uncomfortable angle as she reached her orgasm with lascivious bliss, her obscene moans matching the wet sounds he produced by licking her until she came down from her climax.
“Tom,” she said again, so breathless her voice was a raspy whisper.
“I know,” he said, kissing her leg and inhaling deeply, like he was trying to commit the moment to memory.
He brought his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean as she let her watch.
She gently pushed him onto the carpet, bracing her hands on his shoulder as she sat on top of him. The fire was burning, enveloping their almost naked figures in warm orange light, heating their already scalding skin.
She took off her blouse with quivery hands, his gaze tracing her naked form that was slowly revealing itself. She hooked her fingers into the straps of her slip, pulling it down and then getting rid of it altogether. His hands on her waist tensed as she did the same for her bra.
Her lips parted as he touched her breast with both hands, kneading the soft flesh, tracing her areolae.
She undid his trousers, pulling down the fabric until they were both completely naked. She took him in her hand, her fingers closing tentatively around him. Her hand started sliding up and down, her pace getting quicker and more confident as moans escaped him. She brushed her thumb on his tip, her eyes admiring what was in front of her. His lips were swollen, residue of her lipstick still on them, his hair was tousled, curls falling disorderly on his forehead, his eyes heavy-lidded as he looked at her. She felt a rush of satisfaction in knowing his current state was her doing, that she had enough power over him to ruin his flawless exterior, to make him want her to do it.
His lips caught hers and he gently pushed her hand away.
What happened after felt like rehearsed choreography, something so familiar it was impossible to forget. Their bodies moved together, their movements responsive to each other, doing and touching exactly where it mattered.
She pushed herself up on her knees, slowly lowering herself until she sank down on him completely, shuddering breaths escaping her lips.
His jaw was tense as she placed a hand on his shoulder for support, positioning herself better.
She didn’t break eye contact as she rolled her hips, soaking in the hazy blue of his eyes, in every twitch of his jaw and emotion he was feeling as she increased her pace, in his voice murmuring her name against her ear as his hands squeezed her tights and traced her back.
Skin slapped against skin, his touch inebriating as he felt every part of her, caressing her, massaging her, kissing her until she couldn’t take it anymore. Almost.
His hand dipped between her legs again, stroking her clit as she rocked her hips, eliciting groans from both of them.
Sentiment and pleasure fused together in an exhilarating moment, seared in her mind and flesh forever.
She kissed him again - she could never get tired of that - and bit his lower lip roughly as his other hand went to her breast again, pulling at her nipple.
She threw her head back, letting his mouth scrape over her neck and chest, leaving behind scorching wet kisses. Or perhaps those were marks reddening her skin, she didn’t particularly care.
He gripped her waist, thrusting upwards as she held onto him tighter. Her nails drew half-moons into his back and she bit his neck, the fibres of the carpet scratching her knees.
The lights in the flat fluttered momentarily.
His fingers increased the pressure on her clit as his thrusts grew in intensity with one purpose in mind.
She bit her lip, trying to hold back, to prolong this instant of pure bliss before she inevitably plummeted onto the other side.
She arched her back, moving accordingly to his rhythm, her hips bucking erratic as she rubbed against his pelvis.
And then she fell down, unrestrained, her walls closing around him as she moaned uncontrollably. He didn’t stop, drawing circles on her sensitive skin until her breath found a semblance of steadiness again.
“You did so good,” he whispered against her forehead, brushing a strand of sweaty hair away.
She slumped against him, her hands grabbing onto his biceps as he chased his own pleasure, his movements turning frantic, losing his rhythm.
She found herself murmuring against his skin the same things she had never had the courage to say out loud, not even to herself. She wasn’t sure he was even listening to her, engrossed as he was, but it didn’t matter.
He squeezed her tights once and she understood, rolling to the side as he deftly touched himself, fast strokes that culminated in white spurts all over his hand. She watched him mesmerised
He turned to look at her, his chest rising and falling rapidly. The fire casted shadows on his gorgeous face.
They stayed like that for a long moment, gazing into each other, trying to guess what the other was thinking, making sense of what remained of themselves after what had just happened.
Did it have the same momentous effect on both of them? Or was it just her that knew she couldn’t go back to being acquaintances after this?
“Do you want to stay here tonight?” she asked. Her voice sounded faint and husky to her own ears.
“I do,” he replied without a second of hesitation.
They didn’t get up, instead resting against the foot of her sofa. She curled up against him as his hand traced indistinct patterns on her skin, remaining in this haze of indiscernible unspoken feelings they were both still trying to find a name for.
When she woke up the next morning he was gone. As she took in the cold sheets and missing clothes, her heart threatened to crack.
She got up groggily, conclusions already forming in her mind, building the most pessimistic of pictures.
She felt anxious as she wore her robe and opened the door, heading straight for the bathroom. Halfway down the corridor, the sound of someone flipping through a newspaper halted her in her steps.
She stepped into the kitchen, finding Tom sitting in a chair with his legs crossed.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning,” she said back, adjusting the belt of her robe.
She noticed he had made breakfast, a steaming coffee pot, kept warm by magic, and some pastries she had never bought waiting for her on the table.
She turned to take a mug from a cabinet so that she could hide her smitten smile. When she closed the cabinet, she found him looking at her.
There was no need for words.
“Where did you get that?” she asked as she poured herself some coffee, referring to the newspaper.
“I stole it from your neighbour, I hope she won’t mind.”
She laughed. “So you know how to make a joke.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
She sat next to him, crossing her legs. She perhaps needed to rethink her choice of slippers.
“You were always so serious growing up.”
She put a spoonful of sugar in her coffee.
“That never seemed to deter you.”
“It doesn’t.”
He took a sip of his own coffee. “Good.”
“Does it deter you, knowing how I feel?”
He blinked. “It never had. It makes it more interesting if I have to be honest.”
She blushed, scared to ask the next question.
“How long have you known?”
He got up, brushing his knuckles on her cheek.
“Long enough to see you for who you truly are.”
He bent to give her a chaste kiss. “I should go, the shop opens in half an hour.”
He put on his coat and grabbed his leather gloves from his pocket. She turned in her chair, treasuring the last few moments of him in her apartment.
“There’s still a lot you haven’t learned yet.”
She refused to be an open book to him. There was so much about her that was still incomprehensible even to her and too much she wanted to show him on her own terms. She wanted to be enigmatic, to drive him mad.
“I know.”
Her disappointment was visible on her face as she was met with his silence. She had wanted to continue that conversation, to learn what he had observed.
Instead he opened her front door, throwing her one last glance, heavy with unsaid intention she hoped she wasn’t imagining, before leaving.
She had almost finished her breakfast when she noticed a small note under the newspaper he had left behind. She grabbed it faster than she was willing to admit, almost knocking over her cup in the process, and unfolded it.
“Dinner tonight?
I’ll pick you up at eight.
T.R.”
the last part is a bonus scene i wanted to write to apologize for my tardiness. tom is a little different, but I hope he isn't too out of character.
i honestly had so much fun writing this short story and exploring a different tom from the one i usually read and write about. i hope you enjoyed this and thank you for reading!
#tom riddle x fmc#tom riddle x reader#tom riddle#tom riddle fic#tom riddle fanfic#tom riddle fanfiction#tom riddle smut#tom marvolo riddle#harry potter#hp fanfic#tom riddle x oc
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Autism and Isolation, discussing my experience and my characters
I think i've said here before that my robot characters represent my experience growing up disabled where I live. My characters being robots specifically were made to represent feelings of being made to feel less human in some way due to it. While all my characters in that story are on the spectrum and represent different parts of my experience, I used Mikey as the cover of this post because he represents a certain part of myself that makes me incredibly attached to him (there's a reason I say I like writing him so much, despite him not being the main protagonist). He's the part of me that understands I need help with things but is too afraid to ask leaving me in horrible positions, he's the part of me who screams in public when I feel trapped, he's the part of me that could probably never live by myself, he's the part of me who's scared and vulnerable. Among other things. But also he's the part of me who, like many of my peers, feels isolated in everyday spaces and autistic spaces alike due to peoples perceptions of what autism "should" be, these same people welcome fidget toys and stimming with open arms turn around and think its okay to call me the r slur or infantalise me or make fun of until I cry. But I only cry because I thought i'd be welcomed in those spaces with my autistic peers and I cry because I told my younger self it would get better and people would be nicer to us once we were an adult with like minded people. These same people who, despite being open and proud about supporting neurodiversity still think its okay to use the word autistic as an insult against me. I feel like while people appear so much more accepting of disabled people with these small gestures than I was when I was growing up, I still feel like an outsider in these spaces but this time it feels like I've hit a wall. Like a, "who will support me if the people who are meant to don't?" it leads to a lot of insecurity and self loathing, it makes me feel like I'm not autistic in the "right way" and there's just something wrong with me as a person. I wrote these into Mikey, which makes him seem like he has a 'thin skin' to people like Tandy. Mikey, in my story, is often left behind or teased by other characters in my story even the ones who are also on the spectrum. They also struggle with their own battles with facing ableism and self hatred due to it but don't realise the first step to tackling that is unpacking how they treat others around them. You'll never be able to love your true authentic autistic self if you throw ableist rhetoric at people around you. That includes saying shit like "I'm autistic and I don't act like that guy does whats their excuse" or "I'm not making fun of them because they're autistic they just act weird" I'm low support needs autistic, I've seen how people treat high support needs autistic people and its even more sickening, other low support needs autistic people like to pretend they don't exist or throw them under the bus to make themselves more appealing to ableists: "See autistic people don't actually act like that, support me because I can mask" or even trying to say autism isn't a disability. My characters and writing while being a representation of myself being disabled is also a scathing criticism of the cruelty I see in the world at large, the cruelty I see in other people in ND and disabled communities and the cruelty I see within myself. I get scared about my future with how people treat me, but when I have characters I can write these struggles into it makes it a little easier. I know there's people who love me for who I am and there's people out there who love you guys for who you are too.
#art#robots#ocs#objectum#autism#ableism#oc: Mikey#sorry if this is a little scrambled its late at night
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always hold you
pairings — tasm!peter parker x bff/gf!fem!reader
summary — in which, she needs her boyfriend's support more than anything else, after another particularly bad fight with her father.
word count — 2.6k.
warnings — a little bit of angst, use of pet-names [dove, sweetheart, darling, love, bug], reader calls peter pete, lots of fluff and this is basically just a hurt/comfort fic, protective/soft!peter, this is also sort of similar to my other peter fic (take as a part two that one), peter comforting reader, mentions of the reader's low self-esteem issues and it being explained a bit more, both physical and emotional abuse (manipulation and gaslighting, but not from peter), hugs and cuddles, forehead kisses, peter just taking care of the reader and showing her the love that her family refuses to do, gwen is in here for a second and being the comforting platonic best friend that she is to reader, peter comes off as a little harsh and scares reader a little bit but he makes up for it in the end.
notes — hi! so, this is really more of a vent fic. i know i've written in the past about dealing w/ a toxic family member and how i really enjoyed writing fics similar to my experiences with my favorite comfort characters to comfort the reader because that would usually help me deal with everything. but recently, the abuse that me, my mom, and my brother have been experiencing has become a lot more complicated and traumatizing for me to deal with. and things have only gotten worse. so, i figured i'd do another comforting fic like the other peter fic i wrote about going through that said abuse. i really just feel that it's important to not hide my true feelings and act like everything's fine behind a screen and i just want to be able to talk about this topic a lot more (especially in my writing), because it's so serious and not nearly talked about enough. but, nonetheless, if there's anyone out there that sees this and is a victim of abuse (whether it's emotional/mental or physical abuse, or both) please don't feel obligated to read this. i really don't want to trigger or upset anyone who's dealing with this situation in a very heavy and overwhelming way. just remember though, no matter what anyone says or does to you, you ARE strong and deserve the entire world. i love you all <3. anyways, i hope this makes up for the lack of posting anything (i've been really struggling with a lot, but i'm trying!). gif and divider creds to owner!
p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.
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IT'S OBVIOUS NOW THAT SHE was stupid to think that he could change. it was even more stupid of her to go back to that apartment.
but, she's always been one to see the best in people — in her case, it's come to bite her in the ass.
even now, as she awaits her boyfriend to return home from his nightly patrol around the city, [y/n] knows that she should've known better.
she trembles as she sits on their shared bed, one of her legs bouncing anxiously — the thought of how peter will react to her foolish decision and the outcome from it is stressing her out, beyond words.
after how he responded the first time he found out about the truth about her father's cruelty and what she'd had to go through, she's worried of how he will react this time — it took almost everything in him to not confront her father, when he first found out.
she abruptly jumps when she hears the front door of the apartment shut softly.
a shaky breath leaves her lips, wondering if it's too late to try to hide the marks on her face and body.
but, when she hears him call out her name from the living room, she knows that it's too late — there's nothing she can do now to hide this.
and even if she wanted to for a split second, she promised peter she'd never lie to him again — after the last time, they promised each other that they'd never hide anything from the other again.
so, with another shaky breath, [y/n] sighs and hesitantly pulls the bedroom door open.
she keeps her head down, her hair falling around her face and covering the marks as she walks out and into the living room.
"sweetheart..." peter's voice trails off, eyes wide with shock and worry.
her breath catches in her throat as soon as she finally looks up at her boyfriend and sees the intense, protective look in his eyes.
"i—i'm sorry, peter." she whispers, voice too raspy to get any louder.
a flash of anger fills his eyes. "please... tell me that you didn't go back to him!" he exclaims in a quieter tone of voice as he pinches the corner of his eyes.
[y/n] flinches at the amount of frustration in his voice.
"peter, i—i'm sorry... " her voice trembles, guilt and regret quickly filling her — she just feels so stupid.
peter sighs, regretting taking his anger out on her.
his eyes immediately soften. "sweetheart, i'm sorry." he murmurs, before starting to walk over to her.
but, before he can reach her, she flinches and winces.
he stops short, freezing in place. more guilt fills him as he realizes that in this moment, she's scared of him.
"look... i—i know that i shouldn't have gone back," she whispers, tears clouding her eyes as she remembers the anger and hatred in her father's eyes.
peter's silent for a moment, waiting and giving her time to explain more — if she's able to.
"i'm... i'm so stupid, peter." she whispers, too ashamed to talk any louder.
peter's eyes widen in shock, not expecting that statement to come out of her mouth. "w—what? darling, that's not true."
this time, a tear falls down her cheek. "yes, i am. peter, who's stupid enough to choose to believe that their abusive, monster-of-a-father can change? me — it's me!"
the rambling and the self-loathing words coming out of his girlfriend's mouth becomes incredibly clear to peter as he walks over to her.
this time now, he doesn't hesitate to pull her into his chest as her voice becomes more trembling and wavering, "this is on me — it's my fault."
"it's okay now, love. don't blame yourself." he murmurs as she stops holding herself back and breaks into breathless sobs into his chest.
after a while, her crying slows and quiets down with her tears now dried on her cheeks.
she faces him and takes in a deep, calming breath as he wipes away the remaining tears away and looks over her bruises more intensely.
"i wanna kill him for doing this to you — again." the venom in his tone sends shivers through her spine — knowing what he would do to protect her comforts her.
but, on the other hand, she also knows that hurting her father isn't going to do anything for them or fix anything.
"no, peter. i know you don't mean that." she murmurs seriously.
an angry frown places itself over his lips. "no, i do."
she sighs. "okay, maybe you do. but, it won't fix anything and we both know that," she says, moving one of her fingers up to smooth out the crease in between his very furrowed eyebrows.
"it's okay now — i'm okay." she whispers seriously, grabbing his hand and rubbing soothing circles over his thumb.
you'd think from how she's comforting him that peter was the one that got hurt, not her — that's just how she is; she always finds herself taking care of everyone else, when she really should be taking care of herself.
maybe that's why they're such a good pair — while they're taking care of everyone else and their loved ones, they can trust the other to take care of the other.
"that's the thing, love. it's not okay! you shouldn't have to go out of your way to avoid him, just to protect yourself." he exclaims, ripping his hand out of hers and this time pacing around the living room with his hand now gripping his hair in frustration.
she sighs, frowning — this is exactly why she didn't want to tell him because she hates worrying him like this.
"it may not be fair, but if it's what i have to do to protect myself, then that's what i'll do — i should've kept doing that, instead of being an idiot to believe he'd change." she admits, shrugging, trying to play this all off, as if it's not that big of a deal.
"don't say that — don't do that!" he abruptly yells, turning around to face her defensively.
she flinches — once again — at the volume of his voice. "don't do what?" she asks meekly, her voice too soft.
he sighs in regret. "i'm sorry. i'm not trying to scare you." his eyes are downcast at the floor, before he looks up again, the guilt clear in his irises this time.
"it's okay, peter." she gulps, berating herself for some part of her being afraid of him — after all, she has no reason to fear him because he'd never intentionally hurt her.
"it's not. i shouldn't have gotten so angry — i'm not mad at you, i promise," he says in a much more quiet voice, sighing as he sees that look in her eyes — the one that she always has when she feels like a burden and feels like she should be apologizing.
"sweetheart, don't even think about apologizing. none of this is your fault."
[y/n] sighs in exasperation. "maybe it is. i'm the one that is always making a fool out of myself by believing in the best of everyone."
she sighs when a flash of irritation shows in his eyes. "what?" he whispers, his eyebrows furrowing together.
she takes in another breath when he walks over to her and hesitantly places his hands over her cheeks.
[y/n] sighs again.
"this isn't your fault, love. know that," he murmurs, his eyes searching hers for some kind of understanding. "please, tell me that you know that."
she sighs again, noticing the tears filling his eyes — it becomes incredibly clear to her how much the man in front of her cares about her.
"peter... " her own eyes fill with tears, even spilling to her cheeks.
without another thought, he gently wipes away her tears. "promise me that you understand me."
she sighs again. "y—yes, i understand," she murmurs, hating the hope that fills his eyes. "but, i just don't believe it."
he opens his mouth to object, but she interrupts him before he has the chance to say something, "i want to. but, i can't just shut off the way i feel — i was raised the way i was and with the trauma i have gotten along the way, i can't just forget it."
more tears fills his eyes, before he moves incredibly closer to her and brings her close to kiss her forehead. "knowing you want to believe it is good enough for me."
when he pulls away from her he smiles warmly at her. "let's go cuddle now, yeah?"
the softness in his voice makes her smile. "sounds like a plan, pete." she murmurs with a nod and leads him to their shared room.
once they're inside of their bedroom, [y/n] walks over to their shared bathroom, to change into her set of pajamas she set aside earlier in the day, after she had just gotten back from her father's home — she used to call it her home, but that all changed once her once-very-close relationship with her father changed.
after she changes and brushes her hair and teeth, she takes in a deep breath and tries to mentally prepare herself for the rest of the night.
but, when she shuts off the light and opens the door, she comes to realize that the bedroom is empty.
she walks out of the bathroom and looks around, her eyebrows quickly knitting together in confusion.
and just as she's about to call out her boyfriend's name, she hears hushed voices outside of the room.
with much more confusion filling her body, she slowly walks out of their room and into the living room, only to see peter standing at the door, talking at the door in a hushed voice.
"pete? is everything okay?" she asks as she walks up from behind him.
he jumps a little in surprise, before motioning towards the door.
the blond hair of their current guest surprises her.
"oh, gwen. hi." she greets her best friend and then her boyfriend, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning into him with her chin resting on his shoulder.
"what are you doing here?"
gwen shrugs. "i just wanted to check up on you — your dad called me, yelling at me because he thought that you'd left to go hide at my apartment."
the words that come out of one of her best friends' mouth shakes [y/n] to her very core — anytime she hears anything about her father, she gets easily nervous and scared.
in a matter of seconds, [y/n] slowly pulls away from her boyfriend's body.
she knows that she should try to pretend everything's fine and as if her friend's words don't affect her, but she can't help it.
if she had a few more seconds, she'd probably fall into a state of mind where she'd completely shut down.
but, when a light touch to her shoulder by peter shakes her out of her daze, she sighs and nervously finds her boyfriend's eyes on her.
"what's going on, guys? did something happen?" gwen asks worriedly after seeing the tense look on [y/n]'s face.
peter doesn't speak. he doesn't even look away from his girlfriend — his eyes simply say that the decision is all hers.
despite the fact that him and gwen are pretty close friends, he's always respected [y/n]'s choices.
with a sigh, [y/n] turns to gwen. "i kind of had a run in with my dad earlier."
as she hears that statement, gwen begins to notice the bruises on her best friend's face.
she frowns. "are you okay?" she asks, but after a moment, she groans and rolls her eyes at herself.
"i'm sorry. that was insensitive — of course you're not okay."
[y/n] laughs, despite the seriousness of the situation. "it's okay."
gwen gives her a pointed look, not believing for one moment that what she asked was okay.
"really, gwen," she says, finding some courage inside of her. "i'm probably not okay. but... " she trails off, suddenly feeling like everything is going to be okay with the ones that truly love her by her side.
"for the first time, i think i'm going to be okay — that everything will be okay." she says confidently, moving even closer to peter and practically burying herself into his arms.
gwen smiles. "good. i'm glad."
—————
AFTER A LITTLE BIT MORE of talking, they all finally say their goodbyes and peter shuts the door gently.
they move over to the couch, peter covering them — mostly [y/n] — with one of the fuzzy throw blankets that was lying over the front of the couch.
"you doing okay?" he asks softly as she lays her face into his neck.
she smiles, feeling reassured for the first time.
she lifts her head back up to look at him.
"i know going back was stupid. i do—" before she can continue, he interrupts her with guilt evident in his brown eyes. —"i'm sorry, bug. for how angry i got earlier."
she tilts her head in confusion. "what do you mean?"
"i shouldn't have gotten upset with you. and i'm sorry for startling you. i was just worried." he murmurs seriously, frowning at her confusion.
"i just... every time i think about your dad being near you or hurting you, well, it drives me crazy, sweetheart." he says, trying to ignore the anger in his voice every time he thinks about the type of person his girlfriend's father is.
"pete... it's okay. i'm not going to go back — i learned my lesson." she says, cupping his jaw with one hand, in order to try to calm him down.
he sighs, leaning into her hand and covering it with one of his own.
"that's the point, sweetheart. you shouldn't have to be cautious and scared to avoid him, so that he doesn't act like that. it's not okay."
she frowns, wishing that she could stop him from worrying.
but, she also knows that he needs to get these feelings out and off of his chest.
"tell me, peter. what is it?" she asks, being the understanding girlfriend that he loves — no matter how cliche that actually sounds.
"i love how good-hearted you are, sweetheart. the way you always see the good in everyone, despite what they've done to you — it's amazing," he starts, pulling her hand away from his jaw to hold over one of his legs.
"and i never want you to stop being that person. but, i also hate that you have to avoid him. you shouldn't have to give up your happiness and peace."
she nods in clear understanding.
he groans again, leaning his forehead over hers.
"it's okay, peter."
he pulls away and opens his mouth to say something in defense, but she stops him by speaking before him, "peter, i know it upsets you that he doesn't get to be punished for his actions and i get that."
he stops short, giving her a chance to finish talking.
"i know you hate that. but, i know that you love me more than any urge that you have to give him what he deserves — and that's what i need you to do, okay? love me more than you hate him." he frowns at her words.
as if noticing his hesitation, she says, "for me. please?"
he sighs in defeat and nods. "fine. for you." he murmurs as he pulls her closer into his embrace and body.
she smiles in victory as she lies her head on his shoulder. "i love you, peter parker. you know that?" she murmurs, cuddling up close to him.
"i know i can always count on you." she says, once more, smiling as he chuckles and stretches over to kiss her on the forehead.
"good. because i love you more and i'll always hold you when you need it, dove." he murmurs, smiling at her calm and at peaceful face.
and like that, they cuddle until they fall asleep with peaceful expressions on their faces.
#peter parker#peter parker imagine#peter parker imagines#peter parker one-shot#peter parker one-shots#peter parker x reader#tasm!peter parker#tasm!peter parker imagine#tasm!peter parker imagines#tasm!peter parker one-shot#tasm!peter parker one-shots#tasm!peter parker x reader#andrew garfield#andrew garfield imagine#andrew garfield imagines#andrew garfield one-shot#andrew garfield one-shots#andrew garfield x reader#tasm#tasm imagine#tasm imagines#tasm one-shot#tasm one-shots#tasm x reader#the amazing spider-man#the amazing spider-man imagine#the amazing spider-man imagines#the amazing spider-man one-shot#the amazing spider-man one-shots#the amazing spider-man x reader
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I'm not sure how to put this... but I wonder if there was a little competitiveness between Noel and Paul when it comes to Liam and being his surrogate father figure. Paul is the eldest and most grounded and was around more for Liam's formative years. But Noel shared a room with Liam and went off round the world with him then he wiped his hands of him and Paul was very much back in as Liam's primary father figure.
People have said there was a falling out between Paul and Noel over that backstage past but I doubt very much it was anything that shallow. That was also around the time Liam was in a finincial mess and asked Noel to reform the band to help which Noel refused. That seemed to be a dividing line for Paul.
Oh that was a very interesting take that made me think so thank you!
But also sorry this got über-the top long somehow, so cut needed.
I think there's truth to that yes!
Maybe there's a case of ideological differences here and also remnants of the abusive family dynamics.
First of all, the thing about Paul is that, I do believe growing up, family was very important to him. He started his book with the scare him and Noel had that Liam almost drowned as a child which says a lot, and he used to spend his hard-earned money on his brothers when he was young. But he was definitely more of a product of his surroundings than Liam and Noel were, he saw life in a very matter of fact, practical manner and interiorised the Manchester Irish working class way of life, he accepted thankless jobs while L&N did not and he appeared a bit disappointed or resentful they'd look down on him for doing so and for not including him in their grandiose escape plan, because he did not enjoy what he was doing, but from his pov there was nothing else to do.
The other thing is, when Oasis was formed, not one thought was lost on Paul, Noel was a dreamer and Liam was a star, L&N would do their thing and did not involve him in any way even though he knew how to mix music and/or, according to him, sing, when they were young both Noel and him briefly worked together as their father's roadie, they could have made him a roadie for Oasis or idk what else later on but no nothing, he was blanked out.
And Paul did try to belong in Oasis, I think because he saw this as a family endeavour and it was akin to a mini betrayal that he wasn't part of it in any capacity. He said he had some kind of business he wanted to advertise and they rejected the offer (understandingly so, I think) but also Noel barred him from setting up an oasis fan club in Manchester, what's implied is that Liam was fine with it but Noel was not. And then of course there's very much evidently the book. Liam wasn't, I think, too happy about it but didn't publicly blame Paul, I'd need to find the quote back but I thiiink he said something along the lines of he'd rather have family stuff stay private but it seemed it was important for Paul to write about it, Noel on the other hand, unsuccessfully tried to buy Paul out of the idea of publishing it and was vocal about this. It's clear Paul wanted to exist as one of the brothers, felt left out, it was about more than money.
On top of this, Paul complained many times that it was hard to get to their concerts (before the breakup) and said he wasn't at Knebworth he "went on holiday". He sounds like he was hurt or disheartened he was excluded from the brotherly dynamic, and that L&N were all too ready to leave Paul out of it. I mean, you would think that being the brother of the main oasis members would guarantee getting backstage without any issue. So I believe it may have both been a case of, (indadvertedly?) making it hard for him to get in like 'forgetting' to put him on the list or making him wait and of Paul being ignored or left on his own if he did go backstage that made him throw the towel.
After all he seemed to be quite present post oasis at their concerts. I think he was even responsible for taking photos for Liam's solo concerts. The whole situation shows just how much, much closer Noel and Liam were in a kind of fusional way, their own eldest brother was kind of part of the furniture so to speak. But it wasn't like this when they were all just kids but by then, Oasis was L&N's thing and Liam was, Noel's thing. I mean no matter what you think of L&N's relationship, one thing was clear is that it was intense, and I think had Paul often hung out backstage back then, it would have impaired the dynamic in some way. And from my understanding Noel was calling the shots at the time, Liam lived his freedom in acting out and disappearing off to nowhere.
Paul found back his place in Liam's life after Noel ejected him from his own. And he didn't appear resentful, it seems he seized his a chance to get his spot back. I actually think he got more attention from both Noel and Liam after they broke up. And I agree that he took back his eldest sibling place in Liam's life, as the spot was empty and hence may have "lectured" Noel about not being there for Liam during his dark days. It seems as Noel and Liam shared a room and formed this special bond, Paul had gradually been pushed to the side.
So relationship wise it's also interesting. Liam said that growing up he was worried his brothers were going to be unhappy and that his mother will be sick. I'm not saying Liam loves Paul more than Noel does but, he feels less distant to Paul than Noel is probably, most of the times I heard Noel mention Paul are when he wanted to remind people Liam was not his only brother after the separation or to say things like 'it's not derogatory that the best he can do is to dig out a hole so go out there and dig out the best hole possible', Liam may not mention him so often either but post Oasis, Paul mentioned he sees Liam almost every day and has Noel on the phone a couple of times a week, I'm not sure how much of this is due to the whole ordeal of Noel leaving Liam to land on his teeth but what I know is that there are many pictures of Paul with Liam's kids and I actually have yet to see one of Paul with Noel's kids.
What I mean is I'm not sure how close Noel and Paul were before but if they were, it wouldn't surprise me that Noel felt really lonely without Liam and that made him reconnect more closely with Paul, but as mentioned Paul has a family mindset so indeed it sounds completely plausible he'd have gotten in a fight with Noel about these matters around that time because he still sees them as an unit, or maybe even he felt he was getting his weight back so to speak.
But while Noel may have avoided his family in Manchester while they were asking him to make up with Liam, (in the end he had to let go of more than just Liam to freeze him out completely) I think it still gives an indication that the level of closeness of Noel and Paul is different, I'd say because they don't have so much in common and because Noel keeps to himself. Actually I think the closest person to him ever remains Liam, and he's the one he opened up to if only through his songs and being vulnerable around him. In addition Noel I think, wasn't about to defer to Paul as the eldest brother or be fine with Liam doing so.
Noel mentioned in 2017 that he always felt like he was a loner in the family household, and in true Noel fashion went radical, lying it out a little, saying they never got along really they were all kinds of independent individuals that were gathered in the same group. In 2017 Noel was really enraged at Liam and I'd venture his family tried to salvage the situation and Noel felt discriminated or angry about it hence the comment.
But, Noel is still incredibly nostalgic of the time right before they got famous, he strikes me as someone who loves his family a lot yet, he was singled out in the abuse, and it took his mother years before she left her father. Obviously, leaving someone abusive is extremely difficult even more in the 70s with no money and even more so when you're raised religious and traditional, but as a child you tend to think, my parent doesn't care enough that I'm being abused to do something about it, not every child may feel like this but it's not unusual to come to this conclusion even if only subconsciously. In addition to this, Liam was born after Noel and I'd guess that his mother didn't give Noel more attention than she did Liam, so Liam was as loved but not physically abused, it must have been a trauma for Noel (and for Liam too in a different way).
Noel may have a me vs them mentality that stems from a defence mechanism developed at that time. Like, he thinks no one is truly on his side or that he has to take care of himself he can't rely on anyone else. And in that sense, his relationship with liam may be even stronger because of this, he's clearly wanted to be this father figure for Liam, for example 1992 Liam once complained about Noel acting like a father and Noel said "of course I'm like your dad it's only fucking right". He sees Liam in different ways, including as his child, he even refers to him as one in his songs. And when he gives out advice for children growing up it's like he's talking to Liam, it appears to be very important to him.
It seems in his mind, Liam is really "his family" like his own territory, also precisely because he got to embody this father figure role. He's had impact and a long lasting one at that on Liam's life and Liam reflects to some degree his own self so no one can take this away from him. On top of that Liam is 5-6 years younger, that means a whole lot of events happened before he was "conscious" with him came an opportunity to change the dynamic.
In a family, it's usual that the eldest sibling would take on the "parent" role but in a dysfunctional family, it's not unusual that the child with the strongest personality does instead. And I think that in some ways, Noel taking the father's role in Liam's life created a drift in the sibling dynamic, suddenly it was Noel and Liam plus Paul. I also think that it relatively kept Liam and Paul from really bonding, because as long as Noel had this overbearing place in Liam's life he "belonged" to him.
I don't think that Paul sees so deep within Noel's intent. But he must have seen and felt the shift as Liam was growing up even if they were young, it's something you remember, additionally that shift in dynamic with L&N sharing a room and creating their own world as I said gradually ostracised Paul. Probably when Liam was still a young child it didn't matter much but the older he got the bigger were the csq. For example, I haven't heard much about Paul going to see Noel while he was working for the inspiral carpets or hanging out at his apartment, of course this can be because Paul's life hasn't been explored that much but unless I'm wrong he didn't mention this in his book, but Liam was often hanging out with Noel despite how much the latter pretends it wasn't the case.
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Kaito character analysis
Let's start light before I get more into the conspiracy theorist ramblings. in nsfw stuff I have read I feel like he is commonly misunderstood. I have read a lot where he is hasty, unemotional and self-serving... although I can see where hasty and lazy may come from but, think about: Kaito towards MC focuses on making her happy and although not always successful it is his main goal, BUT to write him as UNEMOTIONAL.
Y'all he is the most emotional of any man in the whole series. especially, in a first time headcanon post he should not be written as unemotional... we all know he would be crying and being like "MC you're such an angel boo hoo" and "I'm so glad I had my first time with you." he might be quick to finish but I think he would very guilty and put effort towards making it up to MC as soon as he was physically able. ALSO one thing I read he just was written as giving no aftercare,,, sorry am I the crazy one to say Kaito (most of frostheim) would be the most into aftercare?? His grandma always told him blah blah blah.. to him sex wouldn't even parallel to the aftercare experience, and tbh dude would be the one to need it the most. Tell me he wouldn't do everything the MC told him too and if was even slightly degrading to her he would be SOBBING afterwards all like "I'm sorry I said all that mean stuff, I know you asked but I don't believe any of it. You're SOOO NICE." You can't disagree with me yk I'm right. Okay.. I'm like trying to keep this part short but kind of failed. Obviously your head canons are what you're entitled to... just I feel like a lot of people admit to struggling to write him so maybe they'd preesh a post like this. HML if you want Kaito advice ig okay, admittedly this second part is a bit in-depth... like could be a reach but I have A LOT of evidence so hear me out. We all know Kaito hates being a ghoul and is considerably weaker willed than the other ghouls, he is also raised by his grandma. We can assume this because she is the ONLY family member he talks about (on the home screen and in the story) and the process of becoming a ghoul is intense right? Something that would be surprising if he regrets becoming one and is the big ol baby that he is. I think that Kaito's parents are the ones who made the deal, and they didn't survive. He was born to a poor family we know this because he talks about it all the time. SO my personal thought is he was born to a single mother who didn't have any funds to raise him even with the grandmother's help, so she wishes for greatness for her baby, and makes a deal with a devil to protect her child. Because we know he doesn't have the academics to get in Frostheim and he probably was not open about being a ghoul, it's a hoe-scaring quality. So I think he's basically got assigned-plot-armor-at-birth. and basically the demon could be kind of like how luca's monster is possibly his brother, and his mom's soul in entwined with a demon's (like a ghoul's would be) and basically they co-parent him which would explain why his stigma is so weak comparatively to other ghouls. this is more exploratory, but what I truly BELIEVE bare bones is: Kaito's parents are the one's who made the deal. That's it that's all I truly believe in and everything else is speculative. I just think it would be cool especially because I think the process of becoming a ghoul is left especially vague for this purpose. Hehe let me know what you think about this and other things that you personally think about kaito! I'm really curious about other fan's thoughts.
#tokyo debunker#tbd#TBD headcanons#character analysis#kaito#kaito tbd#kaito fuji#theories#TBD theories#fuji kaito#first of a series
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hiii ⸜( ˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
name: mithi - not really, just family nickname
she/her
16 years old
ethnically & ancestrally indian (live in karnataka)
technically american (born in michigan)
lesbian
questioning demi/gray-aromantic
11th grader in cbse science stream (subjects: physics, chemistry, biology, psychology, english)
intj
mostly post & reblog stuff related to marauders, lgbtq+, literature, feminism, girlhood, desi culture, mental health & other general stuff & a couple other fandoms (pls stick by if i seem ur cup of tea)
dni: sexists, homophobes, racists, transphobes, ableists, anti-choice-ers, anti-palestine supporters, any bigots really
rules: don't be any of the above mentioned, don't be creepy, don't send sexual stuff for the love of god i'm a minor!
fun fact!: i was born exactly at 11:11 p.m.
studyblr sideblog: @academicgremlinhehe to keep my procrastination in check
mental health/vent/ranting sideblog: @thyhonesteheorte cuz i'm too scared to be especially depressing on main
libra sun, gemini moon, cancer rising
mental: unstable, go through depressive phases, gritted-tooth optimist, mayhaps depressed & have ocd (but prolly just another lazy kid wrongly self-diagnosing)
physical: brown skin, black hair, v dark brown eyes, 5'6/168cm, glasses-wearing girlie
feel free to check me out on :
blog - like an actual site, not this beauty chaos
ao3 - solely marauders content
that odd melancholy feeling - current ongoing marylily fic on ao3
wattpad - same content as ao3
that odd melancholy feeling - on wattpad
life goals :
become an academic weapon once again - summoning pre 9th grade me
plan a - iiser bs-ms course with major in biology & minor in humanities; plan b - bsc psychology/biotechnology + masters neuropsychology/neuroscience/astronomy/evolutionary biology abroad
phd astrobiology/neuroscience/neuropsychology/evolutionary biology abroad
multiple degrees?? yes pls to being disgustingly over-educated
work in research + part time writer
independence
travel the world
peace
tagging system! :
#mithi's own - all original posts
#she communicates oh my! - answering asks, communicating with other users, tag games
#poetic lil mithi - original poetry
#mithi's marauders - all posts relating to my marauders fanfiction
#wishful necromancy - all posts relating to the marauders fandom hehe get it?
#slightly less beloveds - posts about fandoms apart from the marauders
#musings from thy truly - journal extracts, vents, stuff that should be in my journal but i was too lazy to write with my hand, shit posts, life updates, literally anything that isn't studying or poetry or fandom-related
#mithistudies - studyblr posts made until 10th october 2024
current read! : jane eyre, a curse for true love
current watch! : dickinson, lord of the rings: rings of power
current obsessions! : hurt/comfort wolfstar fics, cheese, dreaming of an academic comeback, blasting dramatic music
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books! : solitaire, heartstopper, pjo, hoo, toa, soc, p&p, wuthering heights, jane eyre, great gatsby, sherlock holmes, agggtm, and many many more!!
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movies! : lady bird, p&p (2005), the perks of being a wallflower, dating amber, little women (2019), lotr & hobbit trilogies, thg, dead poets society, and many many more!!
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last updated: 12th november 2024
#pinned intro#intro post#introduction#writing#aesthetic#marauders#lesbian#demiromantic#cbse#11th grade#indian students#science student#intj#desi lesbian#studyblr#realistic studyblr#marauders fandom#marauders fanfic#lgbtq#literature#femisnism#intersectional feminism#girlhood#desiblr#fic writer#fanfic writer#ao3 writer#artist#poet#academic
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tumblr user hong lu boobs have you played any of the new canto yet im very interested in your thoughts
Yes I do!!! I don't want to make a big post on Some Of The Stuff til the whole canto is up (if you are aware of this account and some of my recent postings it may become aware of what i am talking about) but ohhghghgh. This shit Re Awakened the naive cyanism in me!! I thought it was gone. I thought I was over Hong Lu! I haven't even been doing my dailies and weeklies as of late that's how out of it i've been. but NOPE!! We are sooooo limback babey!!
(i apologize for yapping about hong lu right off the bat. its not that guy's turn yet. it's don's world and we are all just living it, but with the way don's character is structured my brain goes more towards a "wait and see" approach for her. I know it'll be awesome and i Am invested but like. this is hong lu boobs dot tumblr dot com. I'm sorry women)
I'll put some basic stuff above the cut and then some more spoiler-y stuff below.
HUGE fan of the presentation this canto. PJM continues to get crazier with this stuff every canto and this is no exception.
In the light of that previous bullet, I am fully expecting some meta fuckery here. They've pulled some cool stuff at the ends of cantos 5 and 6 but. this is the sinner about delusion/unreality! I Live In Fear of whatever pm is cooking.
The setting is also REALLY fun. whenever I saw a new battle bg i was cheering and clapping. they're all so fun and whimsical and there's so much potential for interesting things
I really like seeing how people dress in the north of the city! We've had so many new factions/branches of factions thrown at us so far and I love a lot of the outfits! Will this still hold true when I try to draw them and get upset at the level of detail after drawing standard formalwear on pm characters for so long? Maybe!
The CGs have been really clean so far? As an artist I get worried about this stuff sometimes because it's a lot of work to get done but all the ones I've seen so far are really nice :)
If you aren't reading passives and status effects this canto. do that. my brain might be a little too small atm to comprehend some of the gimmicks w the main enemy type but some of the wording in the enemies passives may be hinting at things. Also some of them are really funny
this Might be my favorite direction they've taken the OST? Honestly it's so hard to pick because this ost NEVER misses but I've been typing this whole thing to that one boss's theme (you know the one)
If you've played through the first part of the canto, feel free to click through the read more for some of my thoughts that delve more into spoiler territory
I am so intimidated anytime the screen goes black and I have to deal with various colored text and Scary Voiceover. I cannot say much on it aside from just how scared i get whenever it happens. I'm pretty bad at identifying voices (especially if i don't understand the language) but these lines just get. so interesting
Here they are all together for my convenience (and potentially yours :) )
I don't have a ton to say on it especially because anything I say can be proven wrong Very Quickly and I am not a don quixote scholar but I think the "Please, please! I don't want an adventure, stop! Please!" line from (who i assume to me) second kindred don is VERY interesting. much to think about regardless!
UPDATE: while I was writing this my buddy lu-is-not-ok (follow him. if you like what I do you'll like what he does.) sent me this image.
Yep, we've got identity stuff going on. Yellow seems to be Our Don Quixote (It's her text color, at least, but back then she'd be the bloodfiend second kindred, hence being able to obliterate that bear immediately, and acting less in line with the DQ we know and love) while red is... maybe the original don quixote? The original owner of rocinate at least,("Your running shoes look like they could fetch a nice price...") who seems obsessed with justice and fixers like ours. I haven't read the book so I don't feel like I can add a ton more to this aside from flat speculation but I am very interested in how this develops.
Ok now I want to talk about Hong Lu stuff. Let's ignore the elephant in the room for just a second :)
I'm a big fan of the exchange between Dante, Verg, and Hong Lu. THERE IS SO MUCH CONCERNING FORESHADOWING IN HERE!!!!! OH MY GOG. I can't handle it.
the specific wording of "the most lucid one" is SO interesting to me. fully expecting these cantos to be a True Combo. I was already anticipating it because they both have so much to do with rules and the boundary of reality and delusion but with the familial hierarchy theme present in bloodfiends its Definitely happening. And the light in Hong Lu's left eye going dimmer??? with the water theming being used??? Gloom/sinking themed distortion Please Please Please. you're nothing. Theres some water connections from the book irt the land of illusion (near the end bao-yu's enlightenment is seen as realizing that everything is akin to moonlight mirrored in the water- it ultimately doesn't matter and everything predestined to happen will occur regardless) and this water theming is present in Hong Lu as well (base ego) but it's really interesting to see it Like This.\
And now. there's probably some other stuff I can talk about but I wanna say things about The Elephant In The Room. If you follow my stuff and are caught up on this canto you know what I'm talking about.
I have been compiling a diagram with every mention of Hong Lu's family across all his dialogue. (which you can see here if interested, though it's now outdated for obvious reasons) We only really get vague mentions, the only direct family appearance is Jia Huan, who shows up to say one line and then fucks off.
I was not expecting to get stuff on Hong Lu This Early. They've been giving us mostly crumbs and I was NOT expecting to get hit by All This. I have been surviving on scraps and I just had the Hong Lu lore equivalent of a rotisserie chicken thrown to me. I'm kind of rusty on DOTRC because I haven't touched up on it in a while and as such I cannot give too many details but it's very interesting to see Xichun.
I'm going to check up on Xichun's characterization in the source later because there's so many characters in that book and she wasn't really one I had that close an eye on during my read. From what I remember, she's one of Bao-yu's cousins who lives in the garden with him, and eventually runs away to become a nun when the family starts falling into decline. (mirroring Bao-yu running away to become a monk for the same reasons.) I'm probably missing stuff I'll catch when I go out to reread the book, but based on how she's depicted here it gives me more of an idea about what themes of dotrc they're pushing for canto 8.
They're for sure emphasizing the familial abuse and how fucked up the jia family is. It almost reads like all of the siblings are in competition with each other (building "factions"). and Hong Lu has said his siblings have attempted to kill him before.
Hong Lu has been like this, which lines up with his book equivalent of Bao-yu, who is notorious for being childish/naive and not necessarily working within the pre established rules and conventions set up by his family. I'm curious how he's managed to survive this long with the jias a lot more willing to Kill Eachother.
"My most amicable sibling" fucks me up so much. what the hell is this family's deal man. I'm really curious about this line, because xichun is not a sibling but a cousin in the book. I'm curious what's gonna happen with Bao-chai and Dai-yu in Limbus because it's very challenging to adapt this story without those two. Dai-yu in Dotrc is one of the characters Bao-yu feels most comfortable being himself around. Generally, the female characters in DOTRC are better people than the male ones, and Bao-yu spends most of his time with the girls as a result. I'm curious how/if they'll adapt this because it's a pretty big thing in the book and they serve as an escape for Bao-yu from dealing with the nightmare that is people like his father. I feel if it was happening, they'd probably write Xichun a little kinder, but I don't know nearly enough to make any sort of call yet. Absolutely TERRIFIED (positive. this is a good thing) for what PM is cooking.
I'm gonna have to cut this off here because i have A Lot of thoughts but i also have many assignments to finish and have been typing this for way too long! Thank you for asking the question anon I hope you enjoyed reading some of my thoughts :) !!
#asks#limbus company#hong lu#canto 7#pachiposting#my analysis#analysis#really glad to get this esp bc i havent been on tumblr latelies... glad u were thinking of me anon bc i have Thoughts!#btw pachi life update: ive been on twitter mostly bc interaction is easier there sometimes#and i haven't been limbusing as much. i'm still project mooning but i'm working my way thru lobcorp atm and the goal is 1 cycling that game#we are pretty close! I'm at binah suppression rn#and by 'pretty close' i mean i am not at all mentally prepared for this shit#but c7 has me fully back into things. its awesome#this was supposed to be short. i have homework#what the hell man.
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── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘇𝗼𝗻𝗲
paring: florence pugh x fem!reader
tag(s): fluff, a drop of angst, some comfort, sad imagine, established relationship, long-distance relationship, flo being an amazing gf
warning(s): language, heartbreak (?), grammatical errors, unedited
word count: 1.8k
note: I cannot write a sad ending for the life of me lol, but one day I will. And you won't see it coming (jk). I thought I would never post this fic, when the song came out I had like the main idea but never proceed to write it down. But I'm glad I finally wrote it, it was long time overdue lol. I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake. Love, M <3
note 2: So I made the mistake (wait was it really a mistake? I dunno) to listen to 'Needed me' by Rihanna while finishing up this fic. What do we think about smut for part 2 ??????
requests are open! + check my rules + masterlist <3
You were laying on your bed, eyes closed, pretending everything was fine, when in reality it was quite the opposite.
“I hate this,” you mumbled to your phone for Florence to hear.
“I know, baby… Me too. I just wish I could be there with you,” she said as she hugged herself, pretending that it was you who was holding her.
The yawn you were trying so hard to hold back finally slipped out. “Yeah, you keep saying that…”
The words rushed out of your mouth without giving them a second thought, you didn’t mean to sound mean or angry, but you had and it had already reached her ears.
“Yeah, well, I’m working. You know that,” she immediately replied, she sounded both hurt and angry, and you cursed yourself for that.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m sorry, I’m just really tired. Today was a really long day, I’m sorry, baby,” the last thing you needed was to pick another fight for such a small thing over the goddamn phone.
You breathed out, trying to calm your own thoughts. It felt like the only thing Florence and you would do was fight over the phone. The two of you could only share a couple of hours together through the little device, and the two of you would waste it over some stupid fights. The whole situation was stressful, not just the fights or your job, but being so far away from each other that it physically hurt. And it hurt even more that you two would be constantly fighting.
You heard her taking a deep breath, she felt the same as you, you knew it. She was tired and stressed and had a lot going on at work. But she wanted to be with you more than anything, hold you, kiss you, touch you and whisper sweet nothings to your ear.
But you couldn’t tell that by her deep huff. You figured she was tired about this, about you, about this whole situation which did no good to either of you.
“Maybe… maybe we should take a break…” you muttered, not wanting to be heard but she already had.
As soon as the words left your lips you regretted even having thought of them. You didn’t mean it, that was the last thing you could ever possibly ask for in this world. But maybe it was what she wanted and needed. Maybe she was just too scared to pronounce the words so you had to do it instead.
A break? Florence thought, not wanting to believe the words that came out of your mouth. Things were pretty bad if you wanted to take a break. Shit, she really screwed up. Was that really what you wanted? A break? A break away from her and her shit. It would make sense, right? You were tired, she was tired, but were you really tired of her? You wouldn’t have said anything if you didn't mean to, right?
“Yeah, maybe we should. If that’s what you want, love…” she let her head fall against the wall, trying to find some kind of support, praying to the universe that you would take back your request.
Well, there it was, she wanted to take a break. And who were you to deny her such a thing? You were willing to give her everything, this wasn’t the exception, even if it broke your heart.
You cleared your throat, afraid your voice would betray you. “Yeah, okay,” you said, fighting back the tears.
“Okay…”
As soon as you heard her, you hung up, not wanting her to hear you as you sobbed. You felt your heart shrinking, a burning feeling creeped throughout your entire body, and the more you cried the more you felt like your head was about to explode. And you laid there, hand clutch to your stomach, feeling cold and alone.
You felt Billie cuddling your feet, trying to give you some comfort since she could sense your sadness. And even though all the poor thing wanted was to show some support to one of her favourite humans, she unintentionally made everything worse, since she was a reminder of her owner. The two of you lay there, you crying your heart out, until the both of you dozed off to sleep.
[…]
The moment you hang up, she realised what had happened, that it wasn’t a dream, more like a nightmare if that were the case. But it was real, it had happened and she didn’t stop you. Why didn’t she stop you?
“Fuck!” she cursed, throwing her phone on the bed.
She took her hands to her head in disbelief, the last moments of her life going through her mind on repeat over and over again.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” she screamed at the top of her lungs.
She was angry. Angry at herself for not having done something about it, she should have told you that it was a mistake, that it wasn’t what she wanted, not even close. At her work, she loved working, she really did, but was it really worth it when it ruined the best thing that has ever happened to her? —you. At the distance between the two of you, at the stupid body of water keeping you seven thousand miles away from her. She was even angry at the stupid different timezone for constantly keeping the two of you apart.
She couldn’t help to imagine you laying in your shared bed, probably wearing an old oversized t-shirt of hers, or maybe not given that you two had broken each other's heart, now sleeping right where she was supposed to be.
She couldn’t stop hearing your voice in her head, a fucking break? What were you thinking? What was she thinking? She should have told you that it was crazy, that it was a mistake, that it was completely bullshit.
Her head was starting to hurt from all thinking, her heart began to shatter as the realisation sinked in and as her anger slowly faded away sadness began to wash over her. She felt her stomach churn at how wrong this whole thing felt.
She was supposed to be running lines, but she couldn't concentrate anymore as the only thing that popped on her mind was you. She had to do something about it, she couldn't leave things between you two like this, she couldn’t go to sleep that night knowing that she let you go that easily.
“Screw it,” she said to herself, not giving her actions a second thought or else she feared she might back down.
She grabbed her phone, grateful that it hadn’t landed on the floor, and made all the calls she needed to. She was going to fix this, she had to.
[…]
You felt the sunlight creeping through the curtains even though your eyes were still closed. Slowly and carefully you opened them up, as you began to gain consciousness you felt like your head was about to explode. The events of last night came rushing to your mind like a slap to your cheek. The call, the words that were spoken, the tears that were shed and Billie cuddling at your feet offering you some comfort.
You got up, brushed your teeth, took a painkiller and went back to laying. You began to think things through. What were you supposed to do now? Did Florence expect you to leave her house? Who was going to take care of Billie while she was gone? Should you just gather your things and leave? Toby can take care of Billie, he used to do it before you came along, that would be no problem. Shit, what were you going to tell him once you got there with Billie?
You shook your head, letting the thoughts fade away as it was all becoming too much too fast and too real. You could already feel the tears burning your eyes just by the thought of leaving the place Florence and you had been sharing over the past two years.
You decided that you were done thinking for the moment. You found some ice cream in the fridge and made your way to the living room. You dropped down on the couch, a blanket over your shoulders, and snatched the remote control from the coffee table.
You were just about to watch your comfort show when you heard the jingle of keys. Your heart dropped, who could possibly be?
“Y/n?” you heard as the door flew open. “Y/n, where are you?”
You didn’t answer, the words wouldn't come out of your mouth.
“Ah, there you are,” Florence said, she seemed out of breath, as if she had been running or something.
“What are you–?” but she cut you off right away.
“No, let me go first, okay?” she didn’t wait for an answer. “I have this whole speech planned and it’s already fading away so…” she took a deep breath. “This is bullshit, Y/n. I’m not having this. A break?! Are you serious?” she said, stepping closer to you.
“Florence—.”
“I’m not done yet, love,” she was now sitting right next to you, her warm hands reaching out for your cold ones. “I get it, we had a rough couple of months, always bickering at each other. But that doesn’t mean we should take a break, I’m not going to let you go, Y/n.”
“But you agreed—”
“I only agreed because I thought that was what you wanted, but it’s not even close to what I want. That’s why I’m here,” you felt the tears in the corner of your eyes, your bottom lip slightly trembling. “I’m here to tell you: no, I don’t want a fucking break. I don’t give a shit about my work, about the contracts that I signed. The only thing I care about is you, and I’m going to make it work, make us work. Because I love you, Y/n. So fuck your ‘break’, you hear me? Fuck it.”
You looked at her soft green eyes, even though your vision was half blurry you could still make out her watery eyes.
“That was a great speech,” you joked, your heart getting warmer as a smile formed on her lips.
“Yeah, well a 10 hour flight gives you a lot of time to think about—”
Your lips stopped her from talking as you threw yourself on her, connecting your lips in a much needed kiss. A kiss that you had been dreaming of the last couple of months.
“I love you, I love you, I love you,” you whispered over and over again on her lips as you kissed her.
You were straddling her, both of your hands cupping her cheeks caressing her soft skin. You felt her hands sneaking around your waist, gently squeezing your skin. And then moving them further down to rest on your ass, pushing you more into her chest.
Much to your dismay, you pulled away from her lips, feeling the need to actually pronounce these words: “I missed you, so so much, Florence.”
“Me too, baby. Me too,” she said, leaving kisses all over your neck. “In fact, let me show you how much I missed you,” her hot breath gave you goosebumps, as you threw your head back, giving her more access to your sensitive skin.
Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3
-M
#florence pugh#florence pugh x reader#florence pugh x fem reader#florence pugh x you#florence pugh x y/n#florence pugh imagine#littlexscarletxwitch's fic#Spotify#[🎧⊹♡] based on songs i love
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Fateful Beginnings
XIX. “(im)mortality”
parts: previous / next
plot: Bruce struggles to convince he’s not bribing your silence, and you find yourself locked in the backseat of his car while Batman investigates a suspicious murder.
pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x fem!reader
cw: 18+, gore, fear, arguing
words: 3.3k
a/n: while I do list ‘gore’, I want to let everyone know I will never post photos or visuals, I will only describe it as is canon to Batman-typical violence.
How could he convince you it wasn't a bribe?
You met him out back where he pulled up with the headlights cut. Not terrifying at all. The alley was dark and leftover rain was spilling down through gutters. The sun had already set, not making more than a few shades of difference to how Gotham looked during the day. I want to go back home. I hope I survive the drive. You stepped toward the passenger seat and grabbed the door handle, but stopped with your hand clasped around it. Your shoulders tensed, your stomach felt like it halted digestion, and your eyes darted around the area, every new crumb of environmental information nearly sending you back into a panic.
You looked afraid, no, absolutely terrified. He picked up on the stress you held in your body like it was his own. He rolled down the passenger window which made you startle like a cat, the sound of the pulled handle snapping back to position. Your face was getting harder to see by the second, and his mind went blank. He had no words to reach for, no expression, no cloak of anonymity. It was rare his mind turned completely off, impossible for him not to have every next move choreographed. It only served to make him look more unsure, and less safe.
"I'm getting an Uber." You forced down the lump in your throat and started for the side of the building. You heard a door slam and Bruce call after you.
"It's not a bribe."
You halted, tucking your chin over your shoulder. It stung to look at him but, thankfully, he was cloaked in shadow. In more usual circumstances that might have scared you even more, but you were close enough to the main street should someone need to hear your screams. That same peculiar sense of safety crept up and let you turn around. "Why not? I know about you."
He sighed. "It would've been more if it was a bribe."
The thought have you bribed anyone before? germinated, but curiosity wasn't getting the better of you. It was all too fresh how he'd looked at you the last time you'd been in that building, and you could still feel the small wash of air his scoff had made against your cheeks. You were shocked you hadn't fallen back into acute panic. "You wouldn't just throw money at someone you hate."
He didn't hate you; Bruce didn't think he could hate anyone besides the people who killed his parents... and Falcone. He hated Falcone, but that could have been one and the same. He answered as simply as he could through grit teeth. "My parents have similar history." That same feeling was encroaching as the last time you and him had been in the alley, when you'd first asked Batman for an interview. Regulate. Breathe. Regulate. Breathe.
"So it's not a bribe, just more philanthropy? A tax write off?" Your voice began to rise. He shoved out a half-baked thought. "You still got the money, didn't you?"
Fucking... Your fear did a hard right into exasperation. It was important he understood he couldn't just do that, that rich people couldn't waltz around doing whatever they pleased without reprimand. Knocking the People's Prince down a peg seemed like your life's mission. "But it's dehumanizing, it's so fucking invasive."
His response was swift like the punch of guilt to his gut. "And I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have."
"Uh huh."
His voice was firmer, louder. "I mean it. It won't happen again."
"Unless you think I'll tell someone."
He hated having his character misinterpreted; he'd journaled about this before, this nagging feeling of no one fully seeing him, no one understanding his intentions. Once again you nestled right into a crack. "I don't do bribes."
"You could've had a conversation with me."
"It won't happen again." He hesitated, just long enough to sign the contract in his head. "Promise."
"I don't trust you." Now his eyes met yours through the glint of a sporadic streetlight. "A normal person wouldn't even be able to do that."
He shut his eyes and thought about Alfred. He hated remembering this, oh, it made him sick. Bruce had come home one day from sixth grade and Alfred had been waiting at the front of the stairs, right near the entryway phone. He'd gestured for him to follow to the kitchen table, and once Bruce had sat down Alfred had told him he'd gotten a phone call.
"Your teacher says you're exclusionary." Bruce had sat there confused, remembering swinging alone on the swingset earlier that day. "What do you make of that, hmm?" Alfred had done this a few times before—tried to have a serious conversation with him, but it sat in an uncanny valley between butler and parent, and always made Bruce feel a bit squeamish; why couldn't his dad be his dad? As much as he hated his father being gone, he completely loathed anyone trying to take his place.
"I just played on the swings." Bruce kept his head down. It was easier that way, not looking people in the eye. It'd become a reflex since he'd done it that horrible night.
"Ms. Taylor says three kids came to her crying today saying you didn't want to play with them." His brow was furrowed. He let his face loosen a bit as he noted Bruce get smaller and smaller. Sometimes he was a bit overbearing trying to take on a guardian role, it was palpable in moments like these. Quite honestly he hadn't wanted to talk to Bruce about this, but felt like Thomas would have. He stuck out a hand to Bruce.
Bruce shrugged and ignored the hand. He counted the rings in the wood table to stave off tension's bite. "I told them I didn't want to play."
Alfred had sighed. Bruce was already in therapy, and he didn't know what else to do for the boy. Stressing the importance of social interaction as a means of mental health preservation seemed like the only straw he had left, so he took it. "Master Bruce." In an effort to help make the boy feel important, thinking it might pull him out of his dejection, Alfred spoke something that burned into Bruce's mind like a hot branding iron. "You're a Wayne! If you don't want to play with someone, that hits harder than just any kid in the play park."
"Bruce?" His hands were clenched tight at his sides, and his eyes were so excessively wrinkled he had to be squeezing them shut with all his might. His face was twisted into an excruciating wince. Was this anger? Was he about to fight you?
He was red-hot, his system alerting him to LEAVE. "See you next week."
What the hell? "Wait,"
Bruce reflexively whipped around, a sharp prickling traveling up his neck to his eye socket for which he massaged his temple with barely concealed earnest. The flickering streetlight salivated for a migraine. "You said you wanted an Uber."
The frustration that bled into his tone was not lost on you, so you matched it. "Why were you standing like that?"
"Do you need me to order one for you?" Water. Might have some in the backseat.
His tone had moved firmly out of cordiality, which sent a rod of indignation through you. "Jesus,"
He opened his eyes but winced as a flash of pain seared across the right side of his head. "That's not what I meant,"
"Everything is about money with you."
"I don't want it to be."
"It is."
"I don't need the reminder."
"Whether you ignore it or not, your entire life is shaped by money."
"You think I don't know that? I hate it." Nausea was tempting him now, the gravel shifting slightly under his shoe only multiplying the vertigo.
"You hating being rich doesn't make you less rich, Bruce."
"Can you stop calling me that?"
"Why?"
"Because my parents are the only ones that did."
The street fell silent. You stared at him. The last fifteen sentences had been said in the span of ten seconds, each barely hearing the other before seething a response. His chest rose and fell rapidly, nearing ten times in the past second. He blinked rapidly as he focused on the trunk of his car, his left hand out to steady him. Black spots sprinkled the corners of his vision.
You tried to bring some levity to the situation, because the combination of the tension in the air and not knowing whether or not he was about to fall and crack his head open made you nervous. "I swore I heard Alfred call you that once."
It was mildly effective; this distance between you and him was more comfortable now, but it left more space for panic to strike you again. When you spoke up, it was a squeak. "I'll get in the car. But don't hurt me." You started walking toward the passenger, but stopped when you noticed he was staring at you, exasperated. His head was pounding, taking all of his inhibition away with its roar. Bruce heaved a breath and tried to regain focus before speaking; it stung a lot more being feared as Bruce than being feared as Batman; again, once again, made him feel so much less human. "I paid the loans because," He took another breath. "I don't want anyone going through what I did." He hung his head and squeezed his eyes shut as they became hot and prickly. "I found you on the commencement list." It spilled out. "I found your mother's name. I called the closest clinic to your listed hometown and put my card on file. I almost didn't..." He peered back at you again. "I know it was a breach. I promise to never look you up again." You were standing across the car from him, soaked in gutter water. He huffed out a breath, figuring now was the best time to get everything out. "I know I'm a Wayne. I know there's a difference between you and I. I don't know how to bridge it."
It was wild how quickly he activated you, and how equally quickly it was tamed, like a wave crashing on thirsty sand. You walked to his car and slowly slid into the passenger seat. This could be the first block of the bridge; he wanted to drive you home anyway, and this could be a quiet drive to get back to equilibrium. Tears stung the back of your eyelids thinking about your mom again, thinking about the mortality of life; swells of guilt and grief welled up inside you and you bit the inside of your cheek until it was raw to keep the sadness at bay. You tucked your arms and legs and shut the door quietly in hopes he might note your restraint. He didn't know if you really believed him, but you did accept his offer to drive you.
He fought to suppress the screaming nags at the edge of his thoughts as he slipped into the driver's seat and drove off. Bruce's speed made you nervous, transporting you to when he'd nearly flattened a pedestrian the time before. It killed you to bite your tongue but this was the closest thing you'd ever get to a peace treaty, and no one wandered out here anyway. A minute passed in total soundlessness, a quiet neither of you liked but were forced to tolerate, with the alternative being bickering again.
A wash of color illuminated the alleyway. A look out the right side window revealed a smear of jagged red light against a nearby cloud—the bat signal revamped. You heard him sigh. Your research all those months ago had never pictured it anything but white. Before anxiety got the best of you, you broke the silence. "Why is it red?"
"Means it's urgent. I have to get you a cab." After the flooding, Gordon had upgraded the signal protocol—white meant come quickly, and red meant come now. He could still smell the copper from the dead's runoff in the days after the massacre and pictured Gordon, donned in a mask and gloves. "We need to improve our communication method."
You wanted to pester him into letting you come but you were smart enough to realize the implications of Bruce Wayne seen leaving with you and Batman being seen with you shortly after. The signal began to pulse, and Bruce groaned. He took a hard left down the smallest, ricketiest alleyway you'd ever seen, let alone driven a car through. He'd never seen the signal blink like that, but considering the color... he couldn't waste a second.
Just when you thought he might slam into the brick wall at the end of the alley, he hung a right and slammed on the brakes. Before you'd so much as blinked he was headed toward the trunk. "Get in the back so you aren't seen."
You thought you were being fast, but by the time you unbuckled and opened the back door he had donned the suit in its entirety. A shiver went down your spine and you stilled. The last time you'd seen him like this was before you knew a him behind the mask. It was somehow scarier knowing it was him. More reckless. It gave an immediate sense of mortality to the Batman; a poorly placed gunshot, a chink in the armor, a moment lacking focus and it was all over.
As he finished tightening a glove he glanced over to you; that same sensation felt looking back at the same doe eyes. The armor felt heavy as its purpose became negligible. Your hair was wet, and your dress hung limply stuck to the side of your thighs. Black began to smudge on your lower lash line, and your lip color had begun to fray. Panic again. He tore away from your spotlight and landed back in the driver's side. Soon as he heard the click of your belt, he gunned it.
After another minute he spoke. "Stay in the car and stay quiet, it's a dangerous neighborhood." You slumped into the back seat and stared up at the ceiling, your mind swirling with the intricacies of how you'd ended up here in Batman's backseat. And the full suit, Christ. He was menacing.
Skrrt. The tires smeared on the pavement as Bruce parked off an adjacent street. You watched as he rummaged in the middle compartment and pulled out a small blue button. A shield went up between the back and front. "Sit up."
You did, instinctively. It almost felt like a remake of the night you'd nearly been assaulted... fuck, why did the suit bring him so much command? He doesn't own me. He doesn't know me. But right now he was the expert, and you were caught in an unfortunate emergency circumstance. He turned and made direct, unwavering eye contact and you twisted your fingers together struggling to contain the pattering spurred in your chest. He looked down and you could breathe again. His voice was low, but not soft. "Good. No one can see you. I'll be back soon."
After Bruce shut the door and began jogging off, the wash of color shifted from red to white. Had the status changed? Relief grabbed you like an ice bath. Visions of guns shooting wildly had threatened to paralyze you. Gotham's 'severe' was Washington's apocalypse.
The shift caused Bruce to move from a jog to a sprint. Gordon emerged from his police vehicle knocking what looked like a remote against the base of his palm. "This damn thing," He knocked it a few more times before the signal faded, leaving the area considerably darker. Gordon threw his hands up. "I meant it to be white. Reports of a homicide."
"Where?"
"Thirteenth floor of the Rimmel Building. There." He pointed to the building a quarter mile northeast. Flashes of light were intermittent out the windows. "Forensics already started. You were a last minute call.
"Now, I've been warned this is graphic." Gordon paused at the doorframe and glanced over at you for a moment before feeling silly. Why would he care, Jim? For all he knew, and as much he wished to stay blissfully ignorant of it, Batman could have done this himself. He faced front and walked through the doorway.
It was somewhat ordinary to Bruce, at first. His eyes caught the trail of blood toward the doorway, a blood-slicked hammer to its left. He always examined the ground first after the flooding.
Your mind had wandered in strange directions the past ten minutes you'd been locked in the back seat of Bruce Wayne's supercar. So. Bruce sent the money. Alfred entered your thoughts, sitting across from you in his office chair, spectacled, talking casually about how Bruce was kinder than he let on, more compassionate. Had he actually been worried about you back at his place? Was this an expression of care? It had sounded like it, but you could not stop your mind from wandering in all the worst directions about the billionaire's intentions. Did growing up with such massive wealth actually rob him of humanity, or did it simply make him ignorant? Was his character still intact? His moral compass? You certainly hadn't heard of Batman going around killing anyone... that was one of the rules you'd found during research for your paper. Did he leave me here as a trap? Should I leave? Curiosity got the better of you, and you decided you wanted to stick around to see what crime was so urgent it warranted a complete redesign of the iconic logo. You temporarily disabled location services on your phone in case anyone might check and question why you were in the middle of an alley at night, which... sent Mar into a frenzy a minute later.
Y/N?? Where the fuck are you?????
You texted her back, reassuring her you were okay. She kept asking you to call until you finally caved, holding the mic close as you whispered. "Mar, I'm fine!"
"Then why are you whispering?"
"I just can't talk right now. I'm fine.”
"I'm not buying that. Speak up or I need to call the police."
When Bruce moved from the ground to eye-level his mouth twitched toward a grimace. A naked man was strung up in a bastardized crucifix via tarnished throwing knives; his body had streams of caked and fresh blood stained and bubbling down his person which clotted in rolls of flesh on the way down. Gravity had made each knife point sag—and there were many—the flesh poking out like it was overstuffed. He took refuge in the lack of evidence for a fight; he hadn't seemed to suffer, at least.
"I can't talk. Please. I'm fine."
"If the next words you speak aren't above a whisper, I'm dialing 911–"
"Okay! I'm fine!" You'd been louder than you'd meant, a double-edged sword of satisfying her request and making yourself vulnerable.
"Say 'it's all good' if you need help." Mar scribbled something in the background.
Bruce walked closer to the man. He made a mental note to invest in some nasal filters as the decayed stench of dead body singed his nose hairs. It looked to be about 15 knives, and—
"What is it?" Gordon whipped his head around at the sound of Batman inhaling. He was inspecting one of the knives. "If you're looking for prints, he didn't leave 'em."
"Do you see this?" He couldn't believe it. A perfect opportunity. Just as he'd stopped looking... The owls were in plain sight, etched cleanly into the handle of each instrument. Gordon came closer, having to take a moment after turning his nose up. "Where?"
"The handle. The owl."
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