#i'm too emotionally distressed

[starmocha]

my tablet alarm woke me, and when i attempted to unlock it, it kept refusing my password to the point of “permanently locking” so i was forced to do a factory reset

now basically everything in my tablet and the sd card were wiped clean

i haven’t backed anything in the last 3 months, so 3 months worth of stuff are gone

[chompe-diem]

relistening to the d&d court with ify (wifeworm!) and i forgot at the end he says how d&d shows cheese good story moments here and there LMAO

[heavenknowsffs]

Sorry for another vent post but here goes

[nokhwa]

I'm on ep. 10 rn, and unless what he said to haeryung was actually about gicheol, I just don't think junmo ever cared for gicheol as friend. None of his actions or monologues indicate it.

[omegapheromone]

Sobbing in my nest because I feel ghost crumbs even when I've cleaned it at least four times now and I know there are none but still somehow Bad Feelings against my skin and I can't do anything about it. The blanket isn't soft enough and my pillows hurt my neck. I might actually start crying about this it's so. Dumb I'm just having sensory issues and being emotionally fragile but it's upsetting me SO MUCH

[emometalhead]

are you doing okay emotionally?

No ♡

[tofufei]

i ❤ my friends

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 9: Save Me

Summary: You find yourself confronting feelings as you move past the events that caused your distress, and as your heat begins looming closer and closer.

Pairings: Poly 141 x reader

Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, military inaccuracies, language, angst, panic, PTSD, mention of weapons, slight suggestive content

A/N: I feel like a broken record but I really don't like this one either, but I'm so ready to just get to this point in the story lol. I feel like I've dragged it on long enough. We're definitely reaching a point where things are shifting and changing and things might seem like they're moving kind of fast. Sorry for all the choppy time jumps too, I just wanted to get to this point in the fic 😭

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A knock on the door pulls you from sleep. You groan quietly, wrapping your arms tighter around the pillow you're cuddling. 

That pillow lets out its own groan, moving slightly. 

“Gotta get up, love. Answer the door.” Your pillow grumbles, shifting in your hold. 

You're wrapped around Gaz still, clinging to him tightly. You vaguely remember an alarm going off and Gaz rolling over to turn it off before you slipped back into sleep. Gaz had apparently fallen back asleep as well, or at least had stayed with you after both of your alarms going off.

Gaz carefully untangles your limbs from around him, slipping a pillow into your arms before rising from the bed. He stretches his arms over his head, a sliver of skin visible as he does so. You stare at it until he lowers his arms, your eyes already slipping closed again as he opens the door. 

You hear quiet voices, the words lost on you as you slip further and further into a daze of sleep. 

Until the smell of food hits your nose. Your stomach growls loudly, and you lift your head, squinting sleepily as you search for the source of the delicious smell. 

“Morning, sweetheart.” Price's voice rumbles through your ears, his hand warm as it brushes over your head. “How do you feel?” 

You let out another groan, leaning into his touch as his hand strokes your hair. You’re still sore, muscles aching like you had spent the entire day yesterday training. You feel less emotionally drained, not quite so overwhelmed to the point of near numbness now. 

“Dr. Keller wants to see you after you’ve eaten.” Price says, pulling his hand back. 

You let out a quiet whine, trying to chase his hand. He chuckles, gently nudging you back so you don’t topple off your bed. He slips his hands under your arms, moving you so you’re sitting on the bed. Your cheeks warm at how easily he does it, that warmth heating to an inferno as he sits on the edge of your bed with the bowl of porridge in his hand. You’re suddenly very awake as he holds out a spoonful to you, and you feel as if your face might burst into flames. His eyes are focused, lips turning up in a small smile as you let him feed you. You know it’s appeasing his alpha, just based on the pride practically beaming from him. 

You hold his gaze as he feeds you the porridge, skin prickling from the attention as you cling to the stuffed strawberry in your lap. You can imagine him in your nest, holding you against his chest, feeding you in your heat-induced daze, making sure you eat and get plenty of fluids. 

“You alright in there?” He asks, scanning your face. 

You nod, trying to calm the inferno under your skin. “Yeah. Just thinking.” 

The content smile on his face shifts, morphing into a smirk. “Must be some good thoughts, then.” 

You nod, taking the glass of water he offers you and downing it. 

“Get yourself dressed, then we’ll go see Dr. Keller.” He says, pushing himself up to stand. 

“Yes, sir.” You nod again, letting out a yawn. 

“If you’re not up in ten minutes, I’ll be forced to make you get up.” He says, giving you a playful smirk before leaving and closing the door behind him. 

Your face warms again at his words. You’re half tempted to burrow back under the covers, if only to see if he’d follow through with that threat.

Dr. Keller said it would be a good idea. 

You tell yourself that as you stand in Price’s office. The door is closed behind you, sealing you both inside together. His scent is heavy in the air, making your head spin. You wonder how long he’s been sitting at his desk, how long he’s been shut inside today. 

“Grab a pillow.” He says, his voice thick and heavy. He sounds tired, and you wonder how much he slept last night. If he slept at all. 

Your slippers make a scuffing sound as you shuffle over to the couch, grabbing the pillow you had used last time. You move over to him as he leans back in the chair, taking your spot next to him. You sit back on your heels, letting out a breath as you try and relax. His hand strokes the back of your head, giving you a moment to adjust to his touch before he slides it down to the back of your neck. 

You fight the instinctual urge to protect yourself, stopping your shoulders from lifting to try and force his hand away. You’re still not quite used to it, the vulnerability making your omega squirm, especially after the events that took place yesterday. 

You know you can trust Price, but your omega wants to bristle at everything right now. Perhaps you’re picking up on Price’s own exhaustion, his own stress bleeding into you. 

His fingers press into your neck and your body relaxes almost immediately. Your mind begins to clear, and you feel as if you’re floating away from your body. All the emotions and the stress and the soreness in your body fades as you relax into Price’s hold. Warmth begins to flood your body as your omega finally settles, nearly preening as your alpha takes control, taking the weight of the world off your shoulders. 

You can’t see Price’s gaze on you as he watches you kneel for him, lost in his own thoughts. How easily you relax for him, how trusting you are of him in this moment. You’re putting your entire being in his hands and trusting him with it, even though you’re practically still strangers. It hasn’t even been three full weeks since your arrival in their lives and already so much has happened. It feels like things are moving so quickly, but he knows they could move faster. 

If he were a worse man, a worse alpha, he would have claimed you already. Taken what was his to take and cared little for you and your needs. 

He’s not going to be that kind of alpha. He decided that a long time ago, long before you came into the picture. 

You fall into him limply as he eases his hand from your neck, letting you rest against him and breathe in his scent. Your nose presses into his neck, your warm little breaths causing goosebumps to form on his skin. A quiet sound rumbles in your chest as you press closer to him, getting louder as you breathe him in. 

You’re...purring.

Pride wells within him again. You’re comfortable enough to purr around him. He did that. He made you feel safe and comfortable enough to open up that much.  

He slips his arms around you, rising from the floor to move to the couch. You continue to purr, the sound vibrating through you and straight to his inner alpha. The sound begins before he can stop it, his own chest vibrating as he answers your purr with one of his own. 

He holds you close to his chest, purring contently as you slowly drift off in your relaxed state. Eventually your purrs die off as sleep takes you, but he continues to sit there, his own purrs vibrating in his chest as if they can reach through and soothe you even in your sleep. 

“Too tight?” 

You move your wrists, pulling slightly at the restraints. “No.” You shake your head.

“Good.” He runs a hand over your head, tugging at the vest, making sure it’s secured before he steps back. “Alright?” 

You nod, shifting slightly in the wooden chair. “Yes, sir.” 

“Remember, it’ll be fast and intense, but they’ll take good care of you. Don’t forget to play it up a bit. It’s good to know if they can focus in this situation.” Price says, running his hand over your head again. “And I’ll be watching the entire time.” 

He leans down, pressing a kiss on your forehead before he leaves the room, the beta outside the door pulling it closed behind him. You tug at the restraints habitually, even though you could get out of them easily. Just like you could get out of the vest strapped to your chest and the chair you’re sitting in easily. 

Hostage rescue training was not how you expected to spend your Thursday morning, but you suppose there are worse things you could be doing besides being restrained in a chair with a fake bomb strapped to your chest. 

Price had told you about their training yesterday. You hadn’t expected to hear about how you were going to play hostage when he summoned you to his office, but it had been far too formal a request to be something simple. You had been hesitant when he explained, but the risk was small. They weren’t using live bullets, and the bomb strapped to your chest was hardly more than a bunch of wires and a timer counting down. Price had even ensured the restraints weren’t too tight, and had shown you how to slip out of them easily. 

The worst part had been your mind running rampant while he secured the rope around your wrists. 

You hear the distant sound of the helicopter dropping them off, the entire mood in the house shifting. The betas outside have a role to play, and so do you. 

The sound of the door outside getting kicked in makes you jump, your heart rate kicking up. You know it’s them, you know it’s fake, yet you can’t help but let the emotions in the moment get to you. 

They don’t know it’s you they’re rescuing. 

Price hadn’t told them you were involved. He wanted to see if they could keep their heads in a situation like this. It’s important to know. Gives them something to work on if they can’t. 

You hear the pop of the fake guns outside the door before two solid thuds shake the door in front of you. You hold your breath, your fingers shaking in the excitement and adrenaline as the door flies open. You flinch out of instinct, blinking at them as the three enter the room. It suddenly seems smaller with them in it, their surprise not lost to you, even in the tenseness of the situation. You know you’re scent is thick in the room, cutting through the trained laser focus in their minds as they run through a drill they’ve probably done countless times. 

Something they’ve probably done in real life situations as well. 

“Easy, sunshine.” Soap says, kneeling down in front of you. “Gonna get ye out of here.” 

“You can defuse that, right?” Gaz asks, standing behind him. You know they’re both trained in demolitions. You remember that from their files. 

“Course I can.” Soap says, looking at the wires. 

The timer starts beeping in warning, your heart rate picking up instinctively. There wasn’t anything that would actually explode if he failed, but you can’t help the chill of fear settling in as he messes with the wires. 

“Come on, Johnny.” Ghost says from behind you. 

“I got it.” Soap growls out, sweat beading on his forehead. 

You stare at him, your heart pounding in your chest. Time seems to slow as he studies the wires, the timer continuing to beep as it counts down. Even though you’re not in any danger, you still feel the fear welling inside you. He does know what he’s doing, he wouldn’t be in this position in the first place if he didn’t. Yet you can see the struggle, the hesitation, the uncertainty in his gaze. 

He wouldn’t let you die, right? 

“Ten seconds.” Gaz warns. 

“Johnny?” You breathe, voice cracking as you meet his bright blue eyes. 

He mutters a curse before cutting one of the wires. The tenseness in the room is palpable for a moment as all four of you hold your breath. The silence is loud, the timer on the fake bomb sitting still at six seconds. Soap’s head falls forward to rest against your chest as he breathes a sigh of relief. You’re shaking, fingers trembling as Ghost cuts the rope around your wrists. 

“Hostage secure.” Gaz says into their comms. 

“I wasnae gonna let ye die, sunshine.” Soap says, removing the vest from your body. 

“Kinda felt like it.” You murmur as he helps you out of the chair, your legs shaking a bit from the adrenaline. 

“Come on.” Ghost says as soon as Soap has you on your feet. “Captain’s waiting.” 

Your legs still feel unsteady as you follow them out of the building and across the grass, hand clutched tightly in Soap’s. The fabric of his glove is rough against your skin, but you can still feel the warmth of his hand in yours. You lean against his side as you reach Price across the field, not missing the way his gaze scans you head to toe quickly before he addresses the others. 

“Not bad,” Price says. “And the hostage is in one piece.” 

You’re still shaking a little, but you can’t stop the smile that tugs at your lips. “Was kind of fun, actually, getting tied up and stuff.” 

Soap and Gaz both let out groans at your words, Ghost rolling his eyes at your cheeky smile. The corner of Price’s lips twitch, and you can’t help but beam with pride at eliciting such a reaction. 

“Let’s get back to base, and we’ll go over the specifics.” Price says. 

You wind up in the back seat of one of the cars with Soap, his arm draped across the back of the seat. You’re leaning into his side, his fingers brushing your arm every so often as the car drives down the bumpy road. 

“Ye called me Johnny.” He says quietly, leaning in closer to you. 

You stare up at him. “You were going to let me explode.” 

“I was not.” He says, looking offended. “I knew wha’ I was doin’” His brows pinch together, his hand cupping the back of your head. “I would never let anythin’ happen to you.” 

“I know.” You say, leaning your head on his shoulder. “At least I hope so. Blowing up is kind of a shitty way to die.” 

He huffs out a laugh. “Well, if it happened that way, ye wouldn’t be goin’ out alone.” He presses a kiss to your forehead. “Ye can call me Johnny anytime you want.” 

You smile, snuggling deeper into his side. “Okay, Johnny.” 

Your smile only widens as you pick up the subtle rumbling purr sounding from his chest. 

“How are things?” 

“Fine.” You shrug, sinking back in the chair. 

“I heard you took part in the hostage training. How did that go?” Dr. Keller asks. 

“It was fine, kind of intense but also kind of fun.” You shrug again, a smile tugs at your lips. “They didn’t know I was the hostage, so that was fun to see their reactions.” 

“Was that reassuring to see them in action and have them pretend to rescue you? I know we’ve talked about that fear briefly.” Dr. Keller says.

“In a way, I guess.” You say. “At least, I know they could do it if they had to. I mean, not that I don’t trust that they couldn’t, but...it’s different.” 

“It’s different when it’s someone you care about.” Dr. Keller says. “How are you feeling? I know we talked earlier this week, but distressing is a serious thing to go through.” 

“I’m alright.” You say, picking at your jeans. “Not sore anymore. Price called off training for a while to let us both kind of figure things out.” 

“Have you spoken to Lieutenant Riley since Monday?” She asks. 

You nod. “Yeah. A couple times. I didn’t accept his apology, not that he really said sorry directly, but he at least...explained some things.” 

“And it is totally within your right to not forgive him.” Dr. Keller says. “I applaud you for putting up that boundary. I know it’s not easy, but sometimes people need to work to prove themselves again.” She makes herself comfortable on the couch, staring at you. “How have you been aside from all the excitement? Have you started nesting yet?” 

You shake your head, biting your lip. “No. I-I feel more comfortable now that I have things for my room, but...I still don’t feel like nesting.” 

Dr. Keller hums, staring at you for a moment before she writes something down. “What do you think is causing this hesitance in your instincts?”  

Your mouth opens in surprise at her question, not quite expecting it. You had spoken last week about things you might be able to do to help if you weren’t nesting by now. You had expected to start throwing out ideas in that regard, not that you would be digging into why. 

“I’d like you to be honest with me. Remember this conversation will only ever be between us. No one else is going to hear this, no one else will ever see my notes. It’s just you and me.” She leans forward, putting her elbows on her knees as she stares at you. “Would you have chosen to be in a place like this, if it were up to you?” 

“It wasn’t up to me. It never was.” You say, starting to sweat nervously a bit. It’s getting warm in the office.

“I know, but hypothetically speaking. If you had the option to choose, would you have chosen a place like this? A military pack?” 

You stare at your hands, fighting the emotions welling up inside you. You wouldn’t have. You know that, you’ve thought about it over and over. You wouldn’t have put yourself in this position. You would have gone as far from the military and politics as you could have, had it been up to you. You want something quiet and easy with an alpha that loves you and takes care of you. Not...not this. 

You’re crying. You can’t stop the tears that are trailing down your cheeks. You feel guilty for thinking that way. It’s not your choice, it would have never been your choice. You’re supposed to be a good omega and be okay going wherever you’re told to, with whatever pack picks you. 

They hadn’t chosen you. 

They hadn’t wanted you here. Price had fought against your addition to their pack up until you arrived. You know Ghost has his own opinions about your presence here. They had been told they were getting an omega and you had been told you were going to be that omega. 

Would they have chosen you? 

You wouldn’t have wanted them to. 

Dr. Keller says your name quietly, her tone sympathetic as you sit there and cry. You’re crying for the life you were supposed to have, the life you could have had, the many things that would have been different had you just been a good pup and presented like you were supposed to. 

“I don’t want to be here.” You sob, burying your face into your hands. 

You feel guilty, admitting it, even if it is the truth. Your pack has been nothing but kind and supportive, aside from the incident earlier this week. You like them, all things considered. You can imagine yourself being happy with them. Was it what you wanted, though? Was this where you would have elected to spend the rest of your life? 

No. 

“Can you tell me why?” Dr. Keller asks softly. 

Her question only makes you cry harder. You could. You could tell her exactly why. You don’t want to bring up those feelings, those memories, those emotions. You want to leave them behind in the past, buried under everything you learned that made you such a good omega. It would ruin everything, if that got out, if those feelings came to light again. 

Your breaths are coming in gasps as you sob, Dr. Keller rising from the couch. She grabs a stuffed animal from her closet, walking back over to you. She eases it into your arms, pressing it against your chest. 

“Squeeze. It will help.” She directs you, dropping to a knee beside you. “This has something to do with the military, doesn't it?” She says softly, putting a hand on your back. “I know your father served and you spent most of your childhood on bases. Was there something that happened?” 

You take deep breaths, squeezing the bear against your chest as tight as you can. “I can’t.” You sob, shaking your head. “I can’t.” 

“Okay.” She says, gently rubbing your back. “That’s okay. Deep breaths.” 

You continue to breathe, trying to calm the tears. Dr. Keller continues to rub your back, trying to ensure you don't slip into distress again. The calming beta scent floods your nose, reaching back into your brain to calm the turmoil. 

Slowly your breaths begin to even out, and the tears slow to a stop. You’re still clutching the stuffed bear to your chest, arms wrapped around it tight. 

“You’re doing a good job.” Dr. Keller says, grabbing a box of tissues for you. “You’re handling this whole situation better than I think a lot of omegas would. But, that doesn’t mean you have to be okay with it. I’d be more concerned if you weren’t struggling a bit. You don’t have to tell me everything, you don’t have to tell me anything. It’s all up to you. I just want you to know that I’m not going to judge you for anything, and I’m not going to tell anyone anything. I’m here for you, and you alone.” 

You slowly release your grip on the bear, your hands still shaking a bit. Dr. Keller moves back to the couch as you stare down at the plastic eyes, running your fingers over its soft fur. 

“I do think it would be a good idea to address the nesting issue sooner rather than later.” Dr. Keller says, still speaking softly. “We don’t have to get into the why until you feel comfortable enough to, but you need a nest before your heat starts. I have a couple exercises in mind to help maybe jumpstart those instincts, but we’ll need Captain Price in on this issue as well for them to work. I can speak for him on your behalf, if you’d like. I won’t tell him any details.” She says as your eyes dart up to look at her. “Only that there’s a nesting issue and there’s some exercises I’d like the two of you to try.” 

You let your gaze drop back to the bear. You know you need to start nesting, and with your heat rapidly approaching, you’re beginning to be pressed for time. Your heat could start as soon as next week and if you don’t have a nest...

“I guess that’s fine.” You say, staring back down at the bear in your hands. “If you think he can help.” 

Dr. Keller nods, a small smile tugging at her lips. “I think he can.” 

“Thank you for meeting with me, Captain Price.” Dr. Keller says as they take a seat in her office. “I just wanted to preface this conversation by saying I was given permission to discuss this with you, because we both agree you should be made aware of what’s going on.” Dr. Keller shuffles her notes as Price sits there, back straight in the chair. “Frankly, if I’m being honest, I’m starting to get a little concerned about my patient.”

“Concerned about what?” Price asks, brows pinching. 

“She’s not having nesting instincts.” Dr. Keller watches Price’s face as she speaks. “Even with what you did for her, buying her things to make her more comfortable, she’s not getting that urge to make a nest. I know you’re aware that’s a crucial piece of a successful heat, and with that looming ever closer, I’m worried about her.” 

“What do you think is causing it?” Price asks, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. 

“I’m not sure, yet. I did promise I wouldn’t reveal any details about anything, but I do feel comfortable saying, as I’m sure you have figured out, there’s a lot of trauma behind that institute taught, if I may be so frank, bullshit.” 

The corner of Price’s mouth twitches. “Not a fan of institutes?” 

Dr. Keller shakes her head. “No. I’m not. There’s many professionals that share the same sentiment. They’re hardly the nurturing and cultivating places they present themselves to be, though I’m sure you’re figuring that out yourself. It’s always been about control and profit. The current model most of them use is outdated and has been proven in study to be highly ineffective. There are some places here in Europe that are beginning to reform institutes and what they teach, taking a more omega-centric approach, instead of just priming them for future alphas and packs.” 

“Can it be undone, the things she was taught?” He asks, purely out of curiosity. “The way she thinks about herself?”

“I think so, to a degree.” Dr. Keller answers. “You’re already seeing it a bit. She’s already having her beliefs and understanding challenged. Supporting her through that will be an important step in your bonding. The best thing you can do is support her and prove her institute taught beliefs wrong. I think you’re doing a fantastic job already, as is she.” 

“What can we do about the nesting?” He asks. 

“I have a couple exercises in mind I’d like to try. I’ve used one in practice before in a different situation. It was at one of the institutes I worked at after I was certified as an omega specialist. Two omegas were brought in off the streets. I can’t give too many details but they’d been through something very traumatic and had bonded intensely with each other. They couldn’t be separated at all without slipping into near distress. Of course, institutes don’t allow those kinds of bonds as it’s hard on the omegas when they reach selection age. So, we did an exercise where I had both scent a stuffed animal and then gave them each other’s so they’d have something tangible to focus on. Then we started slowly working on separation, using those stuffed animals so they could keep the scent of the other close. It worked, eventually they were able to be apart. I’d like to try the same thing, but to the opposite effect. I’d like you to scent a stuffed animal so it can be used as a sort of symbol, something tangible she can use to represent you.” 

“A way to introduce me into her nest without having me there invading her space.” Price says. 

“Exactly.” Dr. Keller smiles. “Having an alpha’s scent around her might help induce not only that feeling of comfort she needs, but may also help induce those instincts to nest. Doing it this way prevents the risk of discomfort by having an alpha invading her space directly, while still allowing for the introduction of an alpha’s scent.” 

“Alright. What else do you think might help?” Price asks, running his hand over his beard. 

“Another exercise, this one more tactile in nature. This particular one she can do herself, though she may choose to involve you later as she gets more comfortable doing it. I know she’s kneeling for you already, which is fantastic. Some omegas don’t kneel until after being claimed. That she feels comfortable enough to do it already is a good sign. She’s already had these exercises explained to her, but I would like to meet with you both to walk through them again, and in the end, it’s her decision what happens.” Dr. Keller gives him a small smile. “Do you have any questions?” 

“What can be done if these exercises don’t work?” Price asks. 

“There are a couple other things that can be done, though they’re far more invasive. I wouldn’t even suggest them unless she’s showing clear signs of pre-heat symptoms and still hasn’t nested yet. They have their risks, and that’s not something I’m willing to gamble on unless it’s absolutely necessary.” 

Price hums quietly. “Is there anything I could be doing differently to help?” 

“I think you’re both doing fantastic jobs with the hand you’ve been dealt. It’s not an easy situation and the fact she’s made as much progress as she has is remarkable, honestly. My job’s been fairly easy so far. I was expecting a lot worse when Laswell briefed me. That being said, there’s still a long way to go.” 

“Thank you, Doctor.” Price says, shaking her hand. “You’ve been a big help.” 

“It is my job.” Dr. Keller shrugs. “Remember, I’m always here if you have any questions or concerns. I may be an Omega Specialist, but that also includes the omega’s pack as well.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Price says, giving her a smile. “And I’ll be sure to tell your brother you said hello.” 

Dr. Keller smirks, huffing out a laugh. “Yeah, remind him to call his sister every once in a while, while you’re at it.” 

You run your fingers over the soft fur of the teddy bear. Your eyes flutter closed as you let Price’s scent wash over you. You clutch the bear to your chest, wrapping your arms around it tightly as you lounge on your bed. You bury your nose in its fur, breathing in Price’s earthy scent from it. 

A quiet sound begins to rumble in your chest as you hug the bear tightly. A small, content smile pulls at your lips as you curl up in a ball around the bear, purring quietly. 

It’s been so long since you purred. 

You haven’t since you were a pup, still young enough to find safety in your home, before you really understood much of anything that was going on. You only ever purred with your mother, snuggled up in the nest with your siblings, warm and content and safe. 

Your dad never purred. Or, you never heard him do it. You remember the deep growls that rumbled through his chest, the scent of ozone. The warning that made you bristle, even as a pup, that tickling feeling at the back of your neck almost like your brain knew years before you even presented. 

You wrap your arms tighter around the bear, letting Price’s scent flood your mind and wipe away the fear, the feelings, the emotions mixing together. Price isn’t like that. He was so willing to help you, to jump in and do what it took to make the best of a situation that neither of you had a say in. Just an alpha and an omega bound to duty, forced to follow what someone else says. How very much alike your lives are, and yet, so vastly different. 

That’s why you’ve found comfort in him so quickly, you think. You understand him. He may be a captain, he may be pack alpha, he may be a leader, but he’s not in control. Not completely. There’s still someone behind the scenes, pulling the strings, telling him where to go, what to do. Someone’s pointing him in a direction and it’s his duty to follow. 

You were never going to be in control. You were born a subordinate, and you had been cursed to always be one by your presentation. Your entire life would be dictated for you, by someone telling you what to be, how to act, where to go, what to do. There would always be expectations for you, someone behind the scenes pulling the strings. 

Your presence here is full of expectation. You weren’t just bonding with a pack as your duty, there was expectation for it. You had been sent here with a purpose, leading an initiative that could shape the future of many omegas to come. You’re not just an omega chosen by a pack that wants one. 

You’re part of a government initiative. Your whole purpose is to see if adding an omega to a pack of highly trained soldiers really will improve their effectiveness and proficiency. 

Falling in love with them is just a side effect of your own mission. 

Love might be a strong word for it. It wouldn’t matter to those watching your progress if you hated them. You’re supposed to bond with them, be their omega. Prove that it’s worth it, that the strengths weigh out the potential vulnerabilities. Then hundreds of omegas stuck in institutes will be trained to follow in your footsteps. 

You wouldn’t wish this on anyone. 

You’re lucky they’ve been so good to you. You’re lucky you’re beginning to feel it, those spaces in the back of your mind that have been empty for years beginning to fill as your omega comes to accept her pack. The betas anchoring your omega, the alphas surrounding and protecting. 

You'll do your duty. You'll bond with them. You'll mate with Price. You'll allow him to claim you. You'll be their good little omega. 

It won't be the worst life. 

They at least care about you. Gaz and Soap have shown interest in you and mating with you themselves. Ghost...you've got a long way to go with him still, but you're beginning to make some headway into earning his acceptance. 

Price...Price has begun to show some interest as well. You've knelt for him, kissed him, allowed him into your space. He calmed your distress, bought you items to help make your space more comfortable. He scented a stuffed bear to help you nest. 

He'll treat you nicely, or at least you hope he will. He'll lose himself to his rut when you go into heat, and you've heard plenty of horror stories. You know what to expect, from the best to the worst. You could come out the other side mated and content, or you could come out half mauled to death. There's no way of knowing. Price will be a slave to his instincts just as much as you will be. 

You don't want it to be like that. 

You don't want your first encounter with the opposite sex to be lost to the haze of your heat, something that could potentially put your life at risk. How long has it been since Price has had an omega? You know he has. He's too calm, too collected around you to never have had experience with one before. 

Will he treat you well? How will he touch you? You can't imagine him as being a selfish lover, but you won't know. You won't know until you're dazed with lust as your body yearns for release, for an alpha's knot. 

You could find out beforehand. 

The thought has you sitting up in your bed. You could pursue that with Price before your heat starts. There's no rule that says you can't before your heat. You know there's omegas that don't wait. There's alphas that don't wait when omegas join their packs. Price could have taken you that first day if he really wanted to. 

Would he have bent you over his desk? Done it in his room or yours? Would he have done it in the meeting room in front of the rest of the pack? Staked his claim like some primal alpha?

The thought has warmth pooling in your stomach. The mental image of Price taking you in front of the others, sinking his teeth into your neck as he stakes his claim, marking you as his. 

“Fuck.” You breathe, clenching your thighs together. 

You could ask. What's the worst he's going to say? No? You'll just retreat in shame and hide out until your heat begins in embarrassment. He was so willing to do what you wanted, what you asked of him. Would he say yes if you asked him? If that's really what you wanted? Does he want it? Does he want you? 

All you have to do is ask. You're allowed to want things, to desire things. Everything you've asked for so far, you've gotten. 

The heat between your legs only confirms it. You want this. 

You want Price. 

Your hands are shaking as you reach for the door handle. He had given you permission to enter already, but your nerves make it feel like you’re moving in slow motion as you wrap your fingers around the nob, turning and pushing inwards. His eyes are on you as you slip in, closing the door behind you. You can’t read his face as he sits there, staring at you in your baggy shirt and leggings. 

“What’s eating you, pup?” He asks as he stares at you, watching you fidget nervously.

“I wanted to ask you something.” You say, shifting your weight between your feet. 

He reaches out a hand, motioning you closer. You approach his desk slowly, taking his outstretched hand. He guides you in front of him, lifting you to sit on the desk. He leans back in his seat, staring up at you. “You can ask me anything.” 

You bite your lip, staring down at him. His hands come to rest on the edge of the desk on either side of you. It’s comforting, supportive, instead of constricting as it might have felt just two weeks ago. It only furthers your belief that you’re making the right choice, that this is what you want. 

You stare down into his eyes, your hands coming to rest just beside his on the desk. “I want my first time with you to be before my heat.” The words come spilling out quickly, almost so quickly you’re not sure he caught them. 

He stares at you, surprise flickering across his face for a moment before he’s back to the straight-faced captain again. “You’re sure?” 

You nod. “I want to remember the first time. It’ll make me feel better after we...have to do it. I think...it’ll help me feel less like...I had to.” 

Price moves just slightly closer to you, understanding shining in his eyes. “If that's what you really want.”

You nod, sliding your hands until they're resting on top of his. “It is.”

He turns his hands so can hold yours. “Saturday, then. Let me make you dinner and then we'll go from there.” 

Your stomach flutters at his words, skin tingling as his thumbs rub the backs of your hands. “You want to wine and dine me first?” You ask playfully. 

“Call me old fashioned.” He smirks. 

“Maybe just old.” You mutter, shrieking out a laugh as he wraps his arms around your waist, tugging you into his lap. The chair creaks precariously but you know he'd break your fall.

“You want to take that back?” He murmurs, your face inches from his. 

“Depends on what my punishment will be.” You say, your nose almost brushing his. 

He chuckles deep in his chest, lips brushing yours as he speaks. “You'll have to wait for Saturday to find out.” 

NEXT ->

Taglist:

@bobaprint @ashy-kit @anunintentionalwriter @mockerycrow @hayleybarnesx @protokosmonaut @fruitymoonbeams-blog @blue-blue0 @hindi-si-ikay @thatonepupkai @redwites @kattiieee @141trash @lothiriel9 @dillybuggg @beebeechaos @konigsmissedbeltloop @kaoyamamegami @idkkkkkkk8363 @wallwriterstuff @smile-child-13 @anomiatartle @dangerkittenclaws @bless-my-demons @mystic60 @evolutionarry @red-hydra @lunaetiicsaystuff @linaangel @codsunshine @thriving-n-jiving @slayerx147 @ferns-fics @spicyspicyliving @cityoffallencrows @ttsbaby01 @heeheehoohoohahahihi @sleepyoriana @ihatethinkingofnames10 @cassiecasluciluce @darling006 @sheep-from-rad @ohgodthebogisback @willow-sages @scythemood @daniblogs164 @mirzamsaiph

[aloeveratarot]

what is your feminine archetype?

pick a card reading ᡣ𐭩

note: this is just a short general reading so if anything does not seem to resonate please simply let it go. feedback and requests are very welcome.

extended reading is on my patreon ᡣ𐭩

pile 1:

page of cups, mother, prostitute, goddess of the moon

to whoever picked this pile, your feminine energy is quite prominent and versatile ~ you suit multiple archetypes simply because you are very feminine! the first archetype is the mother ~ you may have very strong maternal instincts and a highly developed intuition. you have a great capacity to love unconditionally and nurture others. you may be quite in tune with your emotions and sensitive to the emotions of others. your femininity gives major princess vibes ~ sweet, curious, alluring and a tad bit mysterious. there's also another energy that i'm picking up on, which is hard to explain ~ it's giving sugar baby vibes, like you'd easily get paid just for your companionship honestly (O-O｡) ~ and you probably are physically beautiful as the cherry on top. you can be a home away from home for some people. you may easily attract people who find deep comfort in you. other people tend to feel safe and relaxed in your presence.

pile 2:

king of wands, damsel, angel, first chakra

your feminine archetype is angelic ~ you give off a soft, ethereal and possibly even a coquette vibe, you seem to have an otherworldly energy. you may also have this deer-like, bambi vibe of innocence and gentleness. although this may give the wrong impression of a helpless damsel due to the softly hyper feminine energy. you may capture the attention of men a lot because of this too ~ inspiring the masculine to provide for you, especially with regard to stability, security, protection and passion. however, you are capable of your own independence too ~ i think that this feminine archetype inherently invokes this damsel in distress narrative in romantic settings!

pile 3:

queen of cups, servant, don juan, the sun

your femininity is best described as delightful and pleasing ~ not to say you're a people pleaser but you seem to embody the most positive expressions of femininity and are a shining example of it too. you may be quite traditional and are highly developed emotionally ~ compassion, caring, sensitive and nurturing. i also get the sense that their is a cuteness and light-heartedness about you that others may adore ~ i can best describe this as aegyo. on another note, as your femininity is in a way all encompassing, it tends to naturally bring to light and inspires intense s*xual interest ~ in a way that is for the enjoyment, fun and leisure of romantic union. i apologise that i could not quite allocate a specific archetype but i hope that made sense ♡

[pomefioredove]

Hello and good day 🕊️

How will the vice dormheads react seeing reader overblot and finding out they kept the pain all to themselves until they couldn't take it anymore?

Pls I'm so desperate for overblot!reader content and angst❤️❤️ tanks

RARE VICE HOUSEWARDENS REQUEST 🔥🔥🔥I LOVE ANGST!!!! not adding ruggie this time because I'm lazy sorry everyone

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ overblot!reader

type of post: headcanons characters: trey, jade, jamil, rook, lilia additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu, established relationship for the Angst

there are a lot of things Jamil is feeling right now. fear, a little frustration, too. but he's mostly just ashamed that he never saw the signs. his favorite person in the whole world, the only shoulder he had to lean on, is overblotting, and he has no idea why. you were so supportive through the aftermath of his own overblot, he never thought to... it's his own selfishness and pride slapping him in the face, and it stings

but he'd rather feel guilt than grief. overblotting is painful, exhausting, and emotionally scarring, and he knows it. he's going to get you out of this, even if you hate him for it

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

this makes the second time someone close to Rook has been led to overblot, and the second time he didn't see it coming. a tragedy in two parts. and his guilt would have killed him, if it weren't the only thing keeping him alive now. he has to survive this for you. he can feel miserable about it after you're safe and sound at his side again. he won't even consider the other possibility; you have so much more to explore together

it just can't be over yet

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Lilia has followed grief for his entire life. now, at his age, when he's finally settled down, and the world is quiet for once, this happens. he can't tell if he had simply missed the signs, or ignored them, and each answer is equally distressing. despite what he's said about life and loss, he was never ready to confront the reality of losing you, especially so... soon. so, reality confronted him instead

he can't let it end like this. not again

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Trey blames himself. how could he not? all this time, he's been trying to stay out of the way, to keep the peace. if he had been by your side, if he had defended you, if he had made a better effort, maybe you wouldn't be in this place now

his unique magic isn't particularly strong, and his magic pool isn't very deep, but he'll walk right into the center of the storm if he has to. it's about time he started rocking the boat

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Azul's overblot was tragic, but Jade knew it was coming. it was entertaining, anyway. but this...

never in his life could he imagine something making him so uncomfortable. it makes him queasy, almost seasick, which is a strange thing for a man of the sea to feel. he wishes he could just talk to you, but it's too late for that now. when this is over, you can have a long chat over tea

he just needs you to hold on for a little while longer

[eod-agent-13-12]

The Late Night Embers

After an attack by a Zoraxis operative and a breakdown, Agent Bluenix (@brain-is-a-toaster) deals with Agent 13-12's stay in the recovery wing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Smitten, what happened?"

Agent Smitten turned to Typhoon as he sat on the chairs outside.

"It was brown. Her blood is brown, Typhoon."

The younger agent's fist clenched, choosing to sit down beside him. "How did they... How did that happen?"

"Candlelight happened." He took a few breaths, staring out into the hallway.

Typhoon remained silent, staring at the older agent's heavy sighs.

"I was gone for a mission and this happened. It's... I don't know anymore. How's everyone?"

"Not good, if I'll be honest. I'm not going to see 13. Last time was rough. Too much."

He nodded, staring at the closed door, which soon opened to reveal Dr. Marcel. Some medical jargon was exchanged before Smitten was allowed inside.

"Flor... Are you in pain?" He sat beside her in the bed, passing a keychain with three buttons. The yellow light lit up after a few seconds. "I suppose you're in distress."

He refuses to look at them, trying not to remember the incident. "Here. Trevor sent a letter."

The envelope was soon opened and passed to him with TK. "They're too busy. But hey. At least you can threaten them with a hug cage when you get better." He chuckled, handing a basket to them. "From them. They seemed really worried about you."

The green light lit up immediately.

Agent Smitten chuckled, but turned his back on them like Orpheus leaving the underworld.

They reached out their hand, him accepting so their hands intertwined.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello? Bluenix? Are you still here?" Smitten knocked on the door of the bathroom after visiting hours passed. "Bluenix? Would you like to visit Flor tomorrow morning?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Agent Typhoon was carrying the report, choosing to bring them to Handler Blue (@blueorchid-95) tomorrow. She's currently preoccupied with her agent (@agent--shadow). His handler had been informed, now currently trying to stop a certain Crane from heading over in worry.

He's so exhausted, not only from his assignments in college or even the missions but emotionally. His friend fellow agent (@agentwraith) was just injured and now his universe's Agent Phoenix?

What's next? He'd rather not think about that right now.

His feet soon wandered to a the bundle of boxes as he looked for the oh so familiar white.

[perfectlysanexd]

I haven't done one of these kind of posts in a while, but the expressions in Rebirth were top notch, and I wanted to talk a bit about and analyze Sephiroth's different smiles, both pre and post Nibelheim.

Nibelheim itself is difficult to gauge, because SOLDIER Cloud is actually Zack, and furthermore, some of it is definitely his own wishful thinking. But one thing you can say for sure, is that they portray that Sephiroth, despite being so emotionally weary, still summons up the energy to smile at his friend.

As soon as he turns away from Zack, his smile falls, and he doesn't give one to the Mayor at all.

However, when he turns back to inform the men that they're free until sundown, he summons up another smile for them. I don't think that he's just attempting to keep their morale up, he genuinely has affection for Zack, and cares for the others. He respects them for their service, putting their lives on the line for what they think is a good cause, and Sephiroth—as we saw in Ever Crisis—learned to be a compassionate person, who cares about the lives of others, even enemies.

Of course, he's deeply distressed during this time, the despair is eating him alive. Even Cloud acknowledges(despite having not known Sephiroth on a personal level) that he just wasn't himself once they arrived. But I'm not going to talk about my theories on all the Jenova stuff right now, that's not the focus here. Even at the window, you can tell he's feeling off, but when he turns to Zack, he attempts to smile again.

Sephiroth has never enjoyed his fame, and as we learned in Ever Crisis, he didn't choose it; Shinra made up bogus achievements and declared him to be a hero before even his first field assignment, as part of their recruitment campaign. Can't argue with results, I guess—it certainly got Cloud to join up out of hero worship, right? In EC, Sephiroth admits that all he ever wanted was to be normal, something that he knows he can never have. How sad...

So when this man wants to take his picture, it's no wonder that he's over it by then, and tells him no. And rather politely, too, all things considered. But even before that, he smiles and tells Zack that as long as he does his job, their young tourguide will be safe.

But as soon as he turns his back and walks away? Yeah, that smile immediately fades.

Which certainly doesn't change when the guy takes his picture. But of course, when Zack asks Sephiroth to pose for one, he just can't say no, even though he's not super happy about it. Anyway, he continues to smile at Zack for the duration of their journey up Mt. Nibel, making an effort to talk and even cracking a couple jokes, just trying to be a good leader and keep them in good spirits.

And of course, there's the very sad bridge part, where you can tell that he's genuinely upset that he failed to save the other infantryman that got washed away. He searches for him, but comes up empty-handed. Still, he smiles for Zack and teases him about a performance assessment, since their morale is quite low now, but they need to keep going.

Honestly, the Nibelheim part of Rebirth really did an excellent job of portraying Sephiroth's inner struggle. For reference, there are only 3 points in Remake, I think, when Sephiroth drops his ever-present, sometimes affectionate(towards Cloud) and often unhinged, smile: First, it's replaced with sheer rage as he kills President Shinra.

Second time, is when Aerith has a Cetra moment and suggests that his entire existence is "wrong".

And the third time is when he holds out his hand to Cloud at the Edge of Creation, and is rejected by him.

Anyway, back to Rebirth. Ignoring the bizarre smiles he showed us as Nibelheim was burning, as if he was in a trance and just not all there(that's a subject for a different chat), post-Nibelheim Sephiroth's smiles are interesting, too, if we consider what kind they are, depending on who he's dealing with.

For people he hates, like Tseng, it's much more unhinged looking, and very cold. You can tell there's a certain measure of satisfaction from shanking him, haha...

For someone like Aerith, who...I wouldn't exactly say that he hates her, but she's definitely in the way. I would almost say that he considers her to be actively preventing Cloud from recovering his true memories, leading him to remain as merely Sephiroth's "puppet", but that's a theory for another day. He looks at her coldly, as well, but it's a bit different. There's a bit more respect there than there was for Tseng.

And then there's Zack. Actual Zack. I feel like, deep down, he still cares about him, and has no intention of killing him. I almost sense a little...regret? Maybe? Hm. It's definitely a bit warmer of a smile. And of course, although he had many opportunities to get rid of Zack, he doesn't. Instead, he sends him off into the space between worlds safely.

And of course, last but certainly not least, is the way he smiles at Cloud. I know, I know. "But Sane, you like sefikura, so you're biased!" Look, I won't deny that. However, when you really look at it and compare his smiles, which is what this is all about, his truest smiles are always saved for Cloud. He has 2 different "flavors": pure affection and cruel affection. (There are also a few pity smiles, I think.) The former is used most of the time, whenever Cloud is in his sight, and the latter is used during moments when he's trying to control/influence him. I would almost say that he's...satisfied, yet regretful at the same time?? Like these:

And now, let's contrast that with his more genuine, affectionate smiles for Cloud... (The first shot here ⬇ can be contrasted with the shot 2 up from the bottom there ⬆, as the one above is when he's calling Cloud his puppet, and the one below is when Cloud goes to attack him and he opens his arms wider for the incoming uh...embrace.)

Remake had many interesting smiles from him, too, but that will have to be a different post, as this already has 30 screenshots. Anywho, you're free to draw your own conclusions, and not everyone reads faces in the same way, so maybe I'm nuts. Who knows? Either way, I hope you enjoyed this random, indulgent, very long post, haha. If you made it to the end, you're awesome. 💕

All screenshots were taken by me on my PS5. I won't ask for credit on them, since literally anyone can take an identical shot if they pause at the right second. (The exception are the 3 Remake shots, which were taken on PC with mods and the freecam. For those, I would appreciate credit if you use them anywhere, since I don't watermark them.)

[seungvocado]

How to comfort a sad puppy.

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — Pairing: Seungmin x Reader

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — Content/Trigger warning: Soft! Seungmin, kinda subby Seungmin, fem! reader, reader is older than Seungmin, Seungmin calls reader noona, mentions of couple fighting/disagreements, Seungmin cries (a little), p in v sex (unprotected), creampie, overstimulation, multiple rounds, multiple orgasms. [Let me know if I miss out any]

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — Sypnosis: Seungmin and his noona had a big fight which led to her leaving their shared home to cool off. Unable to reach her, even after a few days, Seungmin starts to think that his noona is leaving him and regrets being such a menace to his noona...

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — 18+ work! MDNI! Ageless/blank blogs will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog.

Seungmin lay curled up on the bed, tears streaming down his face as he cried himself to sleep for yet another night. The fight with his noona had left him shattered, and her absence was a constant ache in his heart. He had tried reaching out to her, but she hadn't responded, leaving him feeling even more desperate and alone.

As he drifted into a restless sleep, noises from the living room jolted him awake. The sound of the main door opening made his heart race, and fresh tears flowed down his cheeks. He knew it was her—his noona—coming back. But he was too exhausted, too emotionally drained, to get out of bed. His mind swirled with turmoil and fear. Was she back to officially break things off?

The door to their once-shared room creaked open, and she stepped inside. Seeing Seungmin curled up on the bed, his shoulders shivering slightly as he cried, her heart broke. Both of them were at fault for the fight, but it was clear that Seungmin was suffering deeply. Slowly, she approached him, her own heart aching with guilt and love. She sat down on the edge of the bed and gently touched his shoulder. "Seungmin, I'm here. Please, don’t cry," she said softly, brushing his hair back from his forehead.

Seungmin’s eyes opened, red and swollen from crying, and he turned to look at her, his expression a mix of relief and anguish. "Noona, I thought you’d left me for good," he whispered, his voice trembling.

Her heart broke at his words. She leaned in, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close. He buried his face in her shoulder, his sobs intensifying as he clung to her.

"I’m so sorry, Seungmin. I never meant to hurt you. I came back to make things right," she whispered, holding him tightly, gently stroking his hair and whispering soothing words. Gradually, his sobs began to subside, though tears continued to trickle down his cheeks. She kissed each tear away, her own heart aching with the need to comfort him. "I love you, Seungmin. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through this together."

After what felt like hours, Seungmin's tears finally stopped. He looked up at her, his eyes red and his cheeks puffy from crying. “Noona…” Seungmin trailed and held onto her even tighter.

Despite his distressed state, she couldn’t help but think how adorable he looked. Overwhelmed by her feelings, she leaned down and kissed him softly. Seungmin hurriedly and desperately returned the kiss, his need for her evident in every touch. She whispered loving words between kisses, telling him how much he meant to her, how she couldn't imagine life without him.

"I love you… I’m so sorry… you’re everything to me…" she murmured between kisses. Seungmin was totally lost in the kiss, his hands gripping her tightly as if afraid she might disappear again. When she pulled back slightly, he whined softly, his need for her almost palpable. "Noona, please… don’t stop. I need you… make love to me please," he pleaded, his voice breaking.

Her heart swelled with love and desire. She gently pushed him back onto the bed, her hands caressing his face. "I’ll take care of you, Seungmin. I love you so much," she whispered before kissing him deeply, her hands roaming his body, reassuring him with every touch. She took her time, wanting to show him just how much he meant to her. As she slid down to remove his clothes, Seungmin's breath hitched, his body trembling with anticipation. "Noona… you drive me crazy…" he breathed, his voice strained with need.

She smiled, her hands gently tracing the contours of his body. She undressed him slowly, savoring each moment. When he was completely bare, she took a moment to admire him, her heart swelling with love and desire. "You’re beautiful, Seungmin," she whispered as she kissed her way down his body, leaving a trail of warmth in her wake. Seungmin's breaths became shallow, his need for her growing with each touch.

Her touch was gentle as she ran her fingers through Seungmin's hair, guiding him down onto the bed. She leaned over him, her eyes filled with a mischievous glint before she lowered herself between his legs. Her breath was hot against his skin, sending a shiver of anticipation through his body.

As her mouth enveloped him, Seungmin's reaction was immediate. His back arched, a groan escaping his lips as the warmth and wetness surrounded him. He couldn't help as his moans and gasps growing louder with each movement of her lips and tongue. The pleasure was overwhelming, and it made him helplessly honest in his responses.

"Noona..." he breathed, his voice trembling with need. "It feels so good..."

She took him deeper, her pace unhurried but steady, savoring every sound he made. The way his body responded to her touch, the way his hips moved unconsciously, seeking more of her warmth—it was all too intoxicating. His fingers found their way into her hair, gripping it lightly, though he was careful not to push her down too hard. He didn't need to guide her; she knew exactly how to bring him to the edge and hold him there.

"Please... don’t stop..." he begged, his tone dripping with desperation. His head fell back onto the pillow, eyes squeezed shut as waves of pleasure coursed through him. Every time she used just the right amount of pressure or teased him with a flick of her tongue, he couldn't stop the sounds that escaped him. He was completely undone, his usual composed self-melting away under her skilled touch.

She continued to pleasure him, listening to his every whimper, every breathy moan, using it as a guide to drive him closer to the brink. The sounds of his pleasure filled the room, and she couldn't help but feel a sense of pride at the sight of Seungmin reduced to such a state. He was utterly hers in this moment, a bundle of vulnerability and need.

As he approached the peak, his voice cracked, a mix of pleading and pure bliss. "Noona, I'm close... so close..."

She didn’t relent, her movements becoming just a bit faster, a bit more intense, pushing him right over the edge. His release came in a rush, his body trembling violently as he cried out her name, a raw, unfiltered sound of pleasure that seemed to echo through the room.

Seungmin lay there breathless, completely spent, and when she finally looked up at him, his eyes were hazy with satisfaction and adoration. He reached for her hand and inter-lock his with hers.

"Noona… please… I need you…" he whimpered, hand tightening on his noona.

She moved up his body, kissing him deeply before positioning herself over him. She took him in slowly, both of them gasping at the sensation, he was still incredibly hard even after his first release. They stayed still for a moment, savoring the connection, before she began to move.

Her pace was slow and tender, with her guiding him through waves of pleasure. "I’m here, Seungmin… feel how much I love you…" she whispered into his ear, her voice a soothing balm to his soul. Seungmin's hands clung to her, his need for her evident in every touch and moan.

"Noona… you feel so good… don’t stop…" he breathed, his voice shaky with emotion. "I won’t, Seungmin. I’m here with you, always," she reassured him. Their movements were perfectly in sync, the intimacy of their connection deepening with each thrust.

Seungmin's grip tightened as she rode him, his eyes locked on his noona, his breath coming out in heavy pants. "Just like that," he groaned, his voice filled with pleasure.

Every movement sent a wave of warmth through her, and she couldn’t help but moan, her body responding to every touch, every whisper.

Seungmin’s hands slid up her waist, moving over her skin as he watched his noona, completely mesmerized by the way she moved. "You're amazing," he whispered, his voice hoarse with need. "You feel so good, noona."

His praise only spurred her on, making her ride him harder, her body trembling as she chased the high that was building between them. Seungmin’s grip on her hips became more desperate, and his eyes darkened with lust as he watched her, his lips parting in pleasure.

Before long, both of them were lost in the rhythm, the intimacy of the moment overwhelming as they moved together, completely in sync. She leaned down to kiss him, her lips meeting his in a heated kiss as their bodies moved in perfect harmony, the connection between them stronger than ever.

Seungmin’s hands slid up her waist, gripping her skin as he threw his head back, breaking the kiss, his lips parting in a moan that made her heart race. "Noona," he groaned, his voice hoarse and filled with need. "You feel so good. So wet… I can’t get enough of you."

Hearing him say that, his voice rough and breathless, only made her move faster, more eagerly. The way his body reacted beneath her, the way his hips bucked up to meet her movements, sent waves of pleasure through his noona. She could feel how turned on he was, his body trembling with need as they moved together.

"Seungmin," she whispered, her voice shaky as she leaned down, her lips brushing against his. "You make me feel so good. I can’t—" She gasped as he thrust up into her, hitting the right spot, sending sparks of pleasure through her. "I need more…"

Seungmin’s eyes locked onto with his noona, his pupils blown wide with desire. He grabbed her waist with both hands, guiding her movements as he thrust up harder, deeper. "I’ll give you everything," he whispered, his voice breaking with each thrust. "Anything you want. I’ll give you all of me."

His words, his sounds, the way his body fit so perfectly against hers—it all combined into a dizzying spiral of pleasure. She felt herself getting wetter, slicker, and Seungmin’s whimpers turned into something primal, his need for his noona evident in the way he moved beneath her, desperate to be as close to her as possible.

Each sound he made sent another jolt of heat straight through her, and she couldn’t help but whimper herself, overwhelmed by how good he felt inside her. His moans and desperate whimpers were like music to her ears, driving her wild with desire.

"God, noona," Seungmin gasped, feeling himself getting close, the pleasure building higher and higher with each thrust. "I’m so close…"

His grip on her hips tightened, his eyes darkening as he thrust up into her with more intensity. "Come for me, baby," she whispered, her voice thick with lust. "I want to feel you. I need to feel you come in me."

Those words sent Seungmin over the edge, and with one final thrust, he cried out, his body trembling as the waves of pleasure crashed over him.

She followed right behind him, eyes rolling back as she hear Seungmin’s moans turning into a deep groan as he released inside her, filling her completely.

The wet sounds of their joining filled the room, their bodies moving together in perfect harmony. Seungmin’s moans grew louder, his need for her driving him to the brink of madness. "I love you, Seungmin… you’re mine… only mine…" she murmured breathlessly between kisses. "Yes, noona… I’m yours… always…" he gasped, his voice filled with longing.

She collapsed against him, both of them breathing heavily, their bodies still trembling from the intensity of it all. She held Seungmin close, her lips brushing against his forehead as she whispered softly, "You’re amazing, Seungmin... "

Their hips movements continued as they ride out their high, their movements slower than before, more deliberate, each touch and kiss a testament to their love and commitment. "I’ll always be here, Seungmin… I love you…" she whispered as they moved together, the intensity of their connection overwhelming. Seungmin’s whimpers grew louder as he reached his peak once more, the force of his release leaving them trembling.

As they lay together, still entwined, Seungmin’s tears had finally stopped, replaced by a deep, abiding love and the knowledge that they would face any challenges together. He held her close, his heart full of love and gratitude. "I love you, noona… I need you… always…" he whispered, his voice trembling. "I love you too, Seungmin. I’ll never leave you," she promised, stroking his head as she watched her puppy drifting off to sleep in her arms.

υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ — υ´• ﻌ •`υ

Y/N woke up to Seungmin’s cute face nestled close to hers. His eyes were still a bit puffy from all the crying he had done the night before, and his lips were adorably pouty. He looked like an innocent puppy, so vulnerable and endearing. She couldn't help but run her fingers through his soft hair, marveling at how peaceful he seemed now. Under the blanket, they were still not wearing anything, their bodies comfortably close. Seungmin stirred as he felt her touch, slowly waking up. His eyes fluttered open, and when he saw her, a smile spread across his face. He snuggled up to her like a puppy seeking warmth.

"Noona..." he murmured lovingly, his voice still heavy with sleep. He nuzzled his face deeper into Y/N’s neck. They stayed like that for quite some time until Y/N felt Seungmin’s warm big hand slowly inching towards her inner thigh, his touch light and teasing. As his fingers trailed closer and closer to where she ached, her own hand sought him out, finding him already hard, pulsing with need. Their teasing continued, each touch more electric than the last. "Noona, you feel so good... I can't wait..." he whispered, his voice trembling. "Seungmin... please... make love to me..." she breathed, unable to hide her desire.

He positioned himself over her, his eyes locked onto hers with an intensity that took her breath away. "I love you, noona. I'll show you how much..." he vowed, his voice thick with passion. He entered her slowly, savoring the sensation as they both gasped. He began to move, his thrusts slow and deep, pouring all his love into every movement. "You're everything to me... I can't live without you..." he confessed, his voice trembling with emotion. "I love you too... don’t stop..." she urged, gripping his shoulders as their passion intensified.

The desperate, fervent lovemaking pushed them both to the brink. Their wet bodies moved in unison, their sounds of pleasure filling the room. "Noona, you feel so good... I can't hold back..." he moaned.

Y/N’s voice trembled as she whispered, "Don't hold back, Seungmin... I need you..." Her words carried a desperate urgency that seemed to ignite a fire within him.

As Seungmin thrust deeper, Y/N moans became uncontrollable, echoing in the room like a symphony of pleasure. Each movement sent waves of ecstasy coursing through her, intensifying with every thrust. She could feel him getting bigger inside her, stretching her in ways she didn’t think possible, and the sensation was both overwhelming and addictive.

Y/N’s skin felt alive under Seungmin’s touch, every caress igniting a fire within her. The way he held her tighter made her feel utterly cherished, as if he were trying to merge their bodies into one. The soft curses that slipped from his lips only heightened Y/N’s desire; hearing him lose himself in pleasure made her feel powerful, wanted, and needed.

“Seungmin…” she gasped, her voice thick with longing, as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him in deeper. She could sense his struggle to maintain control as he groaned, the sound vibrating through both of them. “You feel so good… you’re so big.”

He buried his face in Y/N’s neck, his breath hot against her skin. “God, noona, you’re so tight,” he murmured, his voice a mix of awe and desperation. “I can’t get enough of you.”

It thrilled Y/N to know just how much of an effect she had on Seungmin. The way his breathing quickened, the sounds he made, and the tremor in his voice all showed just how much he was lost in her. She loved the power in it, knowing that her body, her voice, and every little movement were driving him to the brink.

Wrapping her arms tighter around his neck, she pulled him closer, her lips brushing against his ear as she moaned, the sound coming out shamelessly needy. It only seemed to spur him on, his pace quickening, and his grip on her tightening as if his noona might slip away if he didn’t hold her close enough.

“Seungmin… oh, god,” she whispered against his skin, and she could feel him shudder at the sound of your voice, his own groans turning deeper, more desperate. Her nails lightly dragged along the back of his neck as her hips met each of his thrusts, making sure he could feel just how much she craved him.

Hearing the way she reacted to him seemed to unravel whatever restraint he had left. He pressed his forehead to hers, eyes half-lidded and filled with heat as he drank in every expression on her face, every sound that fell from her lips. “Noona, you’re gonna drive me insane,” he breathed, voice rough and strained. “I can’t… I just need all of you.”

With every thrust, she felt herself melt under the weight of pleasure that Seungmin gave her. He seemed to know exactly how to touch her, how to move, and how to breathe life into every fantasy she had ever had.

“Minnie,” she moaned, her voice barely above a whisper as she clung to him, feeling each stroke send waves of ecstasy through her body. “You’re so good for me.”

His lips curled into a smirk, and she could see the satisfaction in his eyes, knowing that he was the one bringing his noona to such heights. “I want to be everything for you, noona,” he replied, his voice deep and rough as he continued to plunge into her, relentless and sure. “I want to make you feel things you’ve never felt before.”

And he did. Every movement of his was perfectly tailored to elicit the deepest, most delicious sensations, making her feel cherished and adored in a way that felt almost overwhelming. She could feel the tension coiling within her, building with each thrust, each kiss, each soft caress.

Y/N could feel the pressure building deep within her, tightening like a coiled spring as Seungmin continued to work his magic. Each thrust was sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through her body, pushing her closer and closer to the edge. She could hardly think straight, her mind clouded with bliss as she focused solely on the way he filled her, the way he made her feel so incredibly alive.

“Seungmin,” She gasped, nails digging into his shoulders as she urged him on. “I’m so close… I need you.”

His breath quickened, and he looked down at his noona with a mix of lust and determination. “Don’t hold back, noona,” he encouraged, his voice thick with desire. “Let go for me. Please, I need to feel you come around me. Please noona…”

The way he said it sent a jolt of electricity through her and she felt the tension building to an unbearable peak. She could feel her walls tightening around him, as if her body was begging for release. “I can’t hold it anymore,” she panted, her voice trembling with the intensity of it all.

“N-noona…” he whimpered, his thrusts becoming more frantic, more desperate. “Please noona, please come for me, just like that.”

With a final thrust that sent her over the edge, she cried out his name, waves of pleasure crashing over her. She could feel herself tightening around him, her body quaking with ecstasy as he followed her into bliss, releasing himself deep inside his noona. In that moment, nothing else mattered—just the two of them, entwined in the afterglow of their shared release, lost in a world of pleasure and love.

As the waves of pleasure began to subside, she pulled Seungmin down to her, capturing his lips in a messy, passionate kiss. The taste of him, mixed with the remnants of their shared ecstasy, sent another thrill through her. “Thank you for making me feel so good,” you whispered against his lips, her eyes sparkling with affection.

"Noona..." he breathed, his voice filled with love. "I can't live without you... I love you so much..."

She held him close, her fingers brushing through his hair as she whispered, "I love you too, Seungmin..."

"Look... " She continued, looking into his sparkly boba eyes staring back at her. "I'm sorry I did not reach out to you after our fight, I saw your messages and missed calls but-"

"Noona~ it's okay... it's fine now... I'm also sorry that I started this because I was annoying you while you were busy with work." Seungmin admitted sheepishly, hugging her waist tighter.

She chuckled, pinching Seungmin's cheeks lightly, "No matter how much of an annoying menace you are, you're my menace..."

Seungmin felt blood rushing to his face as he nuzzled into his noona's neck, trying to hide his shyness.

They lay entwined, their hearts beating as one, basking in the afterglow of their passion. As Seungmin's tears finally dried, they drifted off to sleep once more, wrapped in each other's arms, knowing that their love had grown even stronger and that no matter what challenges lay ahead, they would face them together.

[starcurtain]

I wish everyone collectively understood aventurine’s character like you…things would be so much easier! I genuinely don’t understand how people keep getting his motivations wrong??? Could it be because some of the most popular Aven fanfics were written prior to his release? That could have contributed to some of the takes we tend to see about him…thoughts?

I struggled all day to come up with a concise way to answer this and couldn't think of one, so here, have a long-winded ramble:

I don't think early fic writers have much impact in the situation with Aventurine's character now, since most people can look at when a story was posted and go "Oh, this was before we had ____ information."

I think that Aventurine's problem is being a male character in a gacha game. Gacha game characters are designed to sell. Hoyo can sell female characters very, very easily. Give her huge tits and a visible underwear strap and you're good to go. I love all my guy friends, but I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: straight men are not the hardest audience to please. Hit a particular fetish (feet, spandex, dommy mommy), and you're gucci.

Nah, we all know why Jade's trailer is Like That.™

Male characters in gacha are harder to sell because women as consumers are a little harder to predict. Does every woman want a tall, ripped hunk? Shit, no, small cute boyish models like Aventurine are selling better now? Why?! Would a bad boy be more popular than a nice guy??? It's harder to account for women's tastes, especially because they are often (a little) less visually-oriented.

Hoyo is good at what they do though, and they've figured out that male characters sell very well when they possess at least one of two specific traits:

Endearing vulnerability/helplessness

Gay ship tease

Give a character both, like Aventurine? They might as well be printing money.

That sound you hear is Hoyo's stock prices rising.

So, from the very beginning, Hoyo is incentivized to create a character that appeals to people, a character people will want to crack their wallets open for. And they achieved this, first and foremost, by giving Aventurine traits that female players (in particular, but men too), find especially appealing: emotional and physical vulnerability.

We see Aventurine's pain. We sympathize with his grief. We identify with his struggle to make meaning of his difficult life. He's our woobie, blorbo, babygirl, whatever the hell they're calling it now.

He can't hide his suffering anymore. He's on the very edge. He's a dude in distress. He's surrounded by enemies! He misses his mama! He's been betrayed! No one understands him like you do, dear player!

The ultimate feeling evoked is: He needs to be saved.

When people talk about male power fantasies, I think they forget that women can experience them too, and "Emotionally vulnerable man that only I (or my favorite character) can fix" is actually a female power fantasy.

And from there it's really easy, right: the people who shell out cash to buy warps for their harmed-husbando feel like they've saved him; the people who are into mlm ships look for the nearest hot dude to be the savior Ratio was waiting for his time lol.

Morally and intellectually, this type of deep-down-golden-hearted, emotionally-wounded male character is very easy to digest. There is nothing to dislike about this type of character or role in the story: this character is a good guy who has just gone through so many terrible situations, whose victim status makes him endearing, and whose lack of agency means that any of the questionable or downright bad things he does are always the result of someone else forcing his hand, and never something he would have chosen himself.

His motivations are always clear and consistent: get free, heal, and live happily ever after.

Insert the Wreck-It Ralph meme: "Do people assume all your problems got solved when a big strong man showed up?" But to be fair, a big strong man did kind of solve Aventurine's problem, so--

Anyway, it's simple. It's straightforward. Morally, it's pretty cut and dry, black and white: Aventurine is our hero, which means everyone dictating the course of his miserable life is evil.

Hoyo is not remotely discouraging people from literally buying into this emotional appeal.

And trust me, I get it. I'll be the first to admit that hurt-comfort is its own entire genre in fandom because it is so appealing. People eat up Aventurine's tragic backstory like candy! The idea of watching a character go through hell at the hands of bad guys just to finally find a happy end is like the definition of everyone's favorite story.

In fact... people love Aventurine's suffering so much, they have invented whole new ways for him to suffer that aren't even in the game.

This is where we get all the headcanons that Aventurine was a sex slave, every single person he meets hates him because of his race, the Stonehearts are executioners holding knives to his throat, Jade enslaved him to the IPC with a lifelong contract, his material possessions belong to the company, the IPC is forcing him to take only the most dangerous missions where he is being required by his evil jailers to continually put his life on the line... You name it and I promise you, I can find a fanfic where Aventurine suffers from it. 😂

Bro can't even sleep in on his day off; life is so hard for this man.

Being serious: if the game is telling us that Aventurine is a victim... Why not make him the perfect victim?

Why not envision an Aventurine with no freedom, who bears no responsibility for any of the horrible situations he is in or any of the dubious things he does?

It's so natural to like that version of Aventurine, so appealing to see a totally powerless underdog use his own wits and charms to claw his way up to freedom. Or, if you're the kind who really relishes angst: It's even appealing to see Aventurine lose more. To delight in fics where he loses his wealth, where the IPC punishes him for past crimes while he's powerless to stop them... (I assure you, this is many people's cup of tea and the fanfics prove it!)

Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with liking characters who are exactly this straightforward! It's completely fine to embrace characters that are intentionally written to be morally above-board, whose primary role in the story is to generate angst by being a good person who suffers, or those characters who never show unlikable traits, bad decisions, or contradictory actions.

The problem is that that's just not who the game is telling us Aventurine is.

Hoyo may be capitalizing off people who love to envision poor Aventurine still living his life as a slave... But the game also needs to tell a complicated enough story overall to appeal to people who don't care about this specific husbando--Aventurine's role in the actual game's plot has to be interesting enough for almost everyone to appreciate it, not just Aventurine's simp squad. (Don't get mad, I'm in the simp squad with you.)

So his character doesn't stop at just being a pure-hearted victim who is still waiting to be saved.

Aventurine is not that easy to label, and I think the biggest struggle in this character's fandom right now is between people who prefer the even-more-angsty, still-a-slave Aventurine versus people who want a morally grey, self-destructive character instead.

To me personally, while I greatly understand the appeal of fanon!Aventurine and the joy of a really juicy angst fic where characters lose it all, I think that missing out on the depth that canon is suggesting would be a real loss on the fandom's part.

The character motivations that Aventurine shows in the game are complicated. They cancel each other out. They're basically self-harm! He makes almost every situation he's in worse for himself--on purpose.

He is a good person, but also a person who has done unspeakable things. He does have morals, but he's not above allowing those who don't have them to use him to their advantage.

He's both the victim and the victor. He's his own worst enemy. He's a lost little boy who's been making terrible decisions for himself since he was like eight years old, and a grown ass man who is barely managing to fake his way through an existence that destiny is not letting him quit.

This kind of character is a lot harder to embrace. He's done things that most people would find appalling--like willingly joining up with the organization that let his entire race be massacred. He's invented a whole new peacock persona to frivolously flaunt riches he doesn't even care about (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 101). He actively plays into racist stereotypes about his people to manipulate others through their preconceived expectations. He's made a mockery of his mother's and sister's hopes and dreams by endlessly trying to throw his own life away.

He has flaws! He bet everything he had on a ploy without doing his homework to find out if the people he was risking his life for were even still around. (Maybe he already knew, and couldn't bear to admit it, even to himself.) He's intentionally off-putting and obnoxious to everyone he meets (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 102). He terrifies everyone who gets close to him by (seemingly) carelessly throwing himself into the jaws of death without the slightest provocation.

He knowingly allows the IPC to exploit his power and talents for profit. Did everyone forget that his role in the Strategic Investment Department is asset liquidation?! Like, his actual day-to-day job is ruining people's lives. Canonically, Aventurine kills people when his deals go bad.

His motivations change off-screen in two lines of story text. We're told in one line that his biggest reason for joining the IPC was to make money to save the Avgin, then in the next line we find out that's impossible. And... then what? What motivations does he even have now? The whole point of his character arc from 2.0-2.1 is that he was on the edge of giving in to utter despair and nihilism because he couldn't even perceive a single reason to stay alive. He has no purpose in life before Penacony, and that didn't start with the Stonehearts at all??

People keep saying Aventurine was held in the IPC by golden handcuffs, but how do you tie down someone for whom profit is meaningless? What can you offer to a man whose only desire is to bring back something already lost forever? How do you imprison someone whose only definition of freedom is, canonically, death?

Working for the Stonehearts is obviously not healthy. But that's why Aventurine was doing it--because taking dangerous missions allowed him to put himself at risk. The job that he originally pursued hoping to save his people became a direct means to self-harm, and the IPC's only real role in that was just happily profiting off the results.

The journal entries for Aventurine's quests are there deliberately to tell the player what is on his mind, and none of it has to do with escaping from his job:

Like... Work is the least of this man's problems.

At really the risk of rambling on too long now, he's also just a massive walking contradiction:

Aventurine is among the most explicitly religious characters in the game, yet he's one of the only people in the entire game that we have ever seen actively question his people's aeon.

You might be tempted to think Aventurine's risky gambles with his life as an adult are a result of giving up after finding out about the Avgin massacre... Butttt no, Hoyo makes sure to tell us that even at knee-high in the Sigonian desert, Kakavasha was already willing to risk himself in a fight to the death against monsters because even back then he found his own life to have less value than a single memento.

He's the "chosen one" who will lead his people to prosperity... except they're all dead.

He's explicitly suicidal... andddd also a pathstrider of Preservation.

He wants to die... He doesn't want to die. He wants to make it end, yet goes to staggering lengths to continually survive. (Every plan risks his life on purpose--but every plan's win condition is also to live.) He life is the chip tossed down, but his hand is trembling beneath the table. When faced with an otherwise unsurvivable situation, Aventurine literally became a winner of the Hunger Games. He beat other innocent people to death with his own chain-bound hands just to come out alive.

He knows the IPC failed the Avgin and left them to die... and he still willingly sought out a position of power in their organization. Maybe he really is after revenge... but maybe not.

He starts his journey in the IPC with a truly noble goal in mind: to help his people using his newfound wealth and power. He's a good guy who did genuinely want to save the Avgin and repay all those who helped him. But once it became clear he was too late, once it was obvious he would have no use at all for that monetary wealth and power he risked his life to get... What did he do with it? Unlike Jade, we don't see him over here donating to orphanages. (I'm not that heartless; I'm sure he does actually do a lot of good things with his money on the side, but the point is that the game does not show us that--it shows us, over and over again, Aventurine putting on a wasteful, over-indulgent persona toward wealth. We've supposed to feel how meaningless money is to him, how meaningless everything is becoming to him.)

He outright refuses to use underhanded tactics or to cheat at gambles, which is meant to show us that's he's more morally upright than his coworkers. There's an entire exchange where he says that he'll never stoop to using manipulation the way Opal does. But... he doesn't have any issue fulfilling Opal's exact agenda. He was never remotely morally conflicted about denying the Penaconians their freedom by dragging Penacony back under IPC control.

He's willing to risk his own life, which is one thing--but he's also willing to risk other people's well-being. Topaz accuses him of constantly egging their clients on into dangerous situations; we've actively seen him shove a gun into Ratio's hands and pull the trigger with no care for how Ratio would feel about that on their very first meeting... Dragging the Astral Express crew into the entire Penacony plan in the first place was exceedingly dangerous...

To me, I just think it's vital to understand his character through the lens of these contradictions because they demonstrate the extreme polarity of Aventurine's life: from rags to riches, from powerless to empowered by multiple aeons, from willing to kill to survive to killing himself... He has quite literally lived a life of "all or nothing," and while he is the victim of many terrible situations out of his control, his arc as a character involves facing the truth of himself and the future his own actions are hurtling him toward.

Frankly, the Aventurine that canon is suggesting is a little annoying. You want to grab him by the shoulders, shake him, and say "Why are you like this?!" And he won't even have an answer for you, because he doesn't even know why he's still alive.

In the end, to me, this is so, so much more interesting. I can read an endless supply of hurt-comfort fics where Aventurine escapes the evil IPC and Ratio is there to fill the void in his life with the power of love and catcakes and be a perfectly happy clam online, but I want canon to continue to serve us this incredible mess of a man who constantly takes one step forward and two steps back.

Who is fully aware of his role as a cog in the grotesque profit-wheel of cosmic capitalism and still manages to say he never changed from the rags-wearing desert rat of the Sigonian wastes.

Who over and over again flirts with nihility but, ultimately, even if he has to wrest it from the grip of the gods themselves with bloody, chain-bound hands, chooses life.

[ominous-horse-noises]

im ab to be annoying ab dimension20 fhjy but im genuinely loving the character arcs for the bad kids this season?

kristen going from self-annihilatingly stupid to trying to build a genuine bridge with the man who not only wielded the religion that traumatised her (bobby dawn), but also was trying to ruin her life, just bc she thought a grieving father ought to be comforted in some way? her genuine distress at being unable to revivify buddy even though the two had only had negative interactions, or her biting her tongue in front of her parents so she could better look after her little siblings? grappling with the fact that she still, on some level, expected practising religion to be easy and convenient for her as a holdover from an entire childhood spent being a Chosen One, and finally putting her nose to the grindstone and committing to working her ass off for a deity that couldn't even benefit her for a hot minute? making an effort to be cordial with tracker's new gf and letting go of that codependency? the kristen applebees from ep20 would NOT do all the same stupid shit as ep1 and i love that.

fabian being humbled by the narrative again and again has been an absolute treat for his character. the whole ivy/mazey situation was great: freshman/sophomore year fabian would've gone for ivy no sweat, i mean her character seemed pretty similar to pre-redemption aelwyn and he had a huge crush on her then. but this time, when he realised he'd hurt a genuinely great person, and intentionally swallowed his pride to make it up to mazey, even though it required him being 'uncool' with the whole twister thing. his general arc of learning that earnestness and humility doesn't make him less of a man felt like a natural extension of fabian defining his own version of masculinity- sure, a 'maximum legend', but also someone deeply involved in the arts, and someone who is less afraid of saying sorry and being vulnerable in front of someone he likes

fig. fig fig fig. what a woman. its been absolutely fascinating watching build her sense of identity over these three seasons. at her core, fig is a character that loves so deeply. in freshman, she was terrified of the depth of her own devotion, so she tried to distance herself emotionally from everyone. in sophomore, she built herself around that love for other people. in junior year, fig's arc has been learning she can do both: that she's defined by her love for others, but not solely by it. ik emily wanted to retire the character before this season but i think fig's paladin arc was the best capstone to her journey possible.

gorgug's arc has been about establishing clear boundaries for himself and i love it. im aware there's been some Discourse ab the mango soda scene but to me that was pretty easily chalked up to teenage insecurity. a big part of gorgug's arc was trying to believe in himself when everyone around him told him he was too dumb to follow his passion- imagine struggling in an area that you have no natural aptitude for, and someone comes along and also trounces you in the one area you thought you were the best in. i'd be petty and reactive too (gorgug follows up calling her a freak with the fact that she beat the shit out of him, so its clearly him just still smarting from a bruised ego and not actual malice). in general, i've really like gorgug learning to put his foot down and say enough is enough without completely losing his gentleness.

adaine hasnt had an obvious arc, but considering she addressed most of her baggage in the first two seasons, i'm not surprised. i would've liked to see the other bad kids address her 'teenage adult' behaviour, but her self-awareness about it and relying on fabian to pull in clutch for the oracool stuff still felt like she'd learned to rely on her friends at least + her reaching out to aelwyn and the two of them healing from their parents together has been rewarding it its own right.

riz is perfect and has learned nothing. his neuroticism is part of his natural swag

[pyrodolls]

hi hi! i saw you mention that you love doing hcs & i LOVE them, so i thought i would send in a request

i wondering if you could do hcs of what it’s like to be mike munroe’s gf (or partner if you prefer to keep it neutral!) like how he is w them, his flaws, etc.

mike munroe x (gn! reader) relationship hcs

✰ warnings: gender neutral reader, poc friendly, all hcs are sfw

✰ there is nothing i love more than doing hcs, tysm for requesting some!! i had a ton of fun writing this, so if you would like a part two, i'll do it! (i literally saw this req and immediately got up to write it) also i mentioned some poc things in here cuz i'm latino, soooo if anyone wants me to write any character x poc! reader, i am SO down.

mike is a very secure, confident partner. he's perfectly fine with you having male friends or spending alone-time with a guy.

but when another guy is clearly flirting with you?

oh boy.

he would go up to you and casually sling an arm around your shoulder, subtly hinting to the other guy that you are taken. if the guy doesn't take the hint, mike would butt in the conversation and would keep referring to you as his "love" or "beloved" until the guy leaves.

he isn't afraid of confrontation or anything, he just doesn’t want to waste time on someone like that.

if mike were to meet your parents, he would be confident and casual. he'd obviously hold back on the pda and profanity, but overall he wouldn't be too stressed about it. mike is very confident that he could win the approval of your parents. because of how calm he is, he'd probably treat your parents like old friends.

but if you're a person of color, he'd try a little harder. mike would present himself a bit neater, would constantly mention his successes, intelligence, job, etc. he'd even put in the effort to follow your family's customs. like if you eat with your hands, he has no issue doing so. or if you have a larger family, especially if they don't speak english, he would probably try to learn the language and get along with them all. he really wants to gain their approval.

these hcs make him sound like a saint... but the number one issue in your relationship with mike is that he tends to be a bit ignorant when it comes to your feelings.

for example, if you were at a party and you told mike you were uncomfortable and wanted to leave, he would be like: "what? why? this party's great! just go and talk to people, it isn't that hard."

he's nice about it, he just doesn't understand. he may even tease you about it.

"what? are you scared of social interaction? oh no, a conversation! the scariest of all weapons!"

but he shuts up immediately when he actually sees how uncomfortable you are, then he'd help you out. he's a nice boyfriend, just not the most understanding sometimes.

when you are genuinely in distress (emotionally), he would drop everything to help you and get rid of whatever is troubling you. if there's a chore you are too stressed to get done, he's helping you with it. if someone's messing with you, he'll have a... 'chat' with them. even though mike isn't too good with emotions, he hates seeing you stressed or sad. even if you're in denial or claim that you "don't need help" he isn't having it. he's stubborn, and he WILL help you.

mike's love language is probably either physical touch or quality time. if you're taller than him, he'd probably rest his arm around your waist. if you're shorter, he'd like to tease you sometimes by having his arm on top of your head, but mainly around your shoulders. he isn't afraid of showing off his partner to others, so he likes holding you at all times in some kind of way.

he also loves quality time. doesn't matter how. whether you're out at dinner somewhere, or just sitting in the same room scrolling through your phones in silence. he isn't picky, he just likes being around you.

mike strikes me as the type of boyfriend to always offer to drive you places, even if you're a better driver than him. you'd be in the passenger seat and you get to choose what music to listen to, while mike has one hand on the wheel, and his other hand resting on your thigh.

when you're spending time with mike, you laugh a lot and mess around like kids, but after 3-4 hours of hanging out, you're suddenly talking about the meaning of life and your biggest fears and covering them up with jokes. he's versatile!😻

overall, he's a nice, funny boyfriend. even if he isn't extremely good with emotions, he tries his best with you.