#i'm thinking week 3 and 4 are going to be the hardest
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getting through my work day when i'm bored seems to be the biggest struggle right now with staying sober. the entire day i just kept thinking about how badly i wanted to get high as soon as i was off the clock. i was even trying to bargain with myself "what if we PROMISE to go back to only on true weekend nights, friday and saturday only, sunday if there's a holiday--"
instead of giving in to any of that, i went to two grocery stores for things, put things away, cleaned up the kitchen, cooked a very mediocre dinner, and then spent some time out in my garden, pruning some things. the wildflower boxes i have are absolutely overgrown, but MAN some of the flowers smell so sweet and soft. it was really nice. i swept the front area by my car and then the back patio, and then took a long shower so i could do a sugar scrub for the first time in a year or so, then did a face mask, and did some stretches.
it seems so long as i can keep myself active in some way, my brain shuts up about wanting to be high. if i can't go to the zoo tomorrow, i'm gonna go for a walk along one of the riverfront trails, so ovo/
#trying to remind myself that it's warm out now so like. i should be getting outside more ldhflkj#i lamented all winter about not feeling like i could go anywhere#i dont have that excuse anymore lmao#boredom seems to be the biggest trigger so far#so hopefully i can manage that a little better knowing that#talking tag#i'm thinking week 3 and 4 are going to be the hardest#it's all fun and games now
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So there is a lot of bad stuff going on right now, and I'm sure there are lots of people feeling hopeless and thinking of suicide. Well, I've been suicidal for 21 years and I have a few practical pieces of advice for surviving that I rarely see in other places but I think have done more to keep me off the ledge than almost anything.
1. Don't feel guilty for wanting to kill yourself. Life can be extremely painful, and you are not weak, a coward, or irrational for considering the obvious way to alleviate that pain. Guilt on top of the rest of your pain will not help, and you are not a bad person. You are going to have to tell yourself this a lot.
2. If you think you might do it, find an excuse to live. This is different from a reason to live in that it is short term and shallow. For years my excuse was that I still had enough money to buy a pizza and I'd be damned if I didn't get my last pizza before I died, and if i still wanted to kill myself after the pizza then I had lost nothing. I swear this kept me alive through some of the hardest years of my life.
3. If you have an online friend you can trust, ask if they would be willing to do check in duty occasionally on your worst nights. It's very simple, on bad days where hurting yourself is a real possibility, ask your friend if they can send you a message at regular intervals, say 15 or 20 minutes, confirming that you are safe. It can be as simple as "check?", with you responding "I'm ok". Being immediately held accountable makes not doing it so much easier. I asked a friend to help me like this about two weeks ago to deal with a really bad self harm day and the difference between trying to do it on your own and simple check ins is astounding. It hurts so much less.
4. You die with nothing left on the table. This is for when it's over and you are going to kill yourself. You have a plan, you are ready, and you want to. At this point you are effectively dead. Which means there are no consequences. You can finally do the thing that you were always too scared to do. Maybe it's quitting your job, or confessing to your crush. For me it was coming out as trans. This is your last ditch effort, so if it blows up in your face and ruins everything it is no loss because your plan will still work tomorrow. You were already dead anyway, who cares if you left behind a bit more chaos.
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Over Ice (Part 6)
Hockey!Rhysand x Reader
Summary: Anon Req: She’s walking around Campus and BOOM right smack dab into Broody McBrooder!! She THEN finds out he’s the tutor for one of her hardest courses (personally Psych would be a good one) and they become super duper close with him and the team!!!
Warnings: Mentions of reader's fictional father passing away.
Word Count: 3678
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)
Notes: Lowkey feel like I'm losing the plot here but we'll see what happens. 🤞🏻
_________________________________________
“You should’ve dressed up as a naughty schoolgirl, show him how bad you really are,” your roommate, Gwyn, teases softly while Mor finishes the artwork that is her hair in the bathroom.
You snort, readjusting the top of your strapless green dress Mor forced you into. Dress being the relative term because this is no more than a scrap of silk with lace lining the hem. The bottom of the dress hardly covers the tops of your thighs, and if you drop something tonight, there will be no picking it up, lest you flash the entire hockey house your panties.
You don’t know how you’ve managed to get invited to another party. Of course, Rhys is Mor’s cousin and you’re sure that he had more than a little to do with you and your roommates attending this evening, but you’re surprised that Mor actually agreed to going. Usually, she’s up for any sort of antics that don’t revolve around sports, like frat parties or bars that don’t check ID’s, and you can’t help but wonder where this change of heart has come from.
Gwyn looks surprisingly chipper for someone who barely leaves the apartment, even more so for someone who has held strong on her stance never to attend a single hockey game nor party during her time at Velaris U. Another one with a harsh rule, you think, her determination reminding you of Rhys and his law that you and his teammates don’t mix.
Pfft, and here you are, getting ready to attend their Halloween party.
You’re not sure what Gwyn has against hockey, but right now, you appreciate that she’s coming more than she could ever know. You’re glad you missed out on whatever method Mor used to get her to come, but she looks cute in her pink dress. Her long, auburn hair is tied back with a big, red bow, and she has clip on bangs in for her costume as Blossom from the Powerpuff Girls. Mor claimed Bubbles, though you were hoping she would want to be Buttercup because her attitude more than matches the little green girls’.
You suppose you’ll need Buttercups strength tonight, because you’re more than determined to piss Rhysand off.
“He’s seen my psych grades, I think he already knows how bad I am,” you answer carefully, slipping your thigh-high white socks on. There’s an intricate lace fringe at the top, and you must admit, Mor picked out the perfect attire for your costumes. She’s somehow managed to give a children’s cartoon the perfect amount of skin for the occasion.
The only thing you’re not looking forward to is the tall, chunky boots she somehow managed to sneak into your dorm two weeks ago. You’ll never underestimate your best friend’s ability to curate the perfect costume.
Neither Mor nor Gwyn know that your tutor is Rhysand Cunningham. You haven’t had the guts to bring it up to Mor, even though your relationship with her cousin is nothing short of formal. Okay, so his teasing texts earlier and having to pretend to be his girlfriend in the presence of his ex weren’t keeping away from each other by any means, but there’s nothing going on between you two, so there’s no need to worry your friend.
You’re strapping your feet into the platform pumps when Mor emerges from the bathroom in a cloud of hairspray. Her pigtails are much more adult than her character in the cartoon, mostly because she has much more hair, nearly reaching the curve of her ass on a good day. She’d never let it cover one of her best assets.
“Oh my gosh, you two look so fucking good!” She squeals, jumping in place. The guys at the party are going to love this look on her because even you can’t stop staring at the way her breasts jiggle with her joy. That pushup bra is doing wonders for her already perky tits, and you’re going to have to ask her where she got it because you need to order one as soon as possible.
“You look amazing, Mor,” you compliment, pushing to your feet. You wobble a little but manage to gain your balance quickly enough. You take a tentative step towards the counter where you left your pre-party drink.
“I know,” Mor grins, flipping one of her pigtails over her shoulder. Her brown eyes sparkle with pride and a little bit of tequila. “We’re killing these costumes.” She walks in her boots like she was born in them. She flicks at Gwyn’s fake bangs with a snicker. “Gwynie, you look hot.”
Gwyn’s cheeks turn as red as her hair. “Thanks,” she shrugs bashfully. “But do we have to go to the hockey house tonight? I heard it’s going to be bumping at Rita’s tonight.”
You wonder if Mor is going to ask what the both of you have been dying to know since Gwyn’s sour reaction the first time hockey was ever mentioned under this roof. You don’t know what kind of beef she has with the sport, or maybe one of the players, but she’s made it more than known on multiple occasions that the topic is taboo, and she’ll never attend anything that has the slightest correlation to hockey.
Your gaze flicks to Mor. Her brows are furrowed and she’s not normally one to give pause, opting to blurt out whatever comes to mind, but right now she’s giving Gwyn the benefit of the doubt and thinking through her options here.
In the end, she goes for pouting, because she knows that neither of you can resist. “But you promised you’d come!”
You don’t know how Mor made that happen, let alone Gwyn promising to join, and you really want to know. Gwyn sighs in a defeated way that makes you ache for her. It’s hard to get her to come out to a non-hockey related event this semester, and that’s also something you’re going to have to talk to her about sometime because you miss your friend on nights out.
Maybe you can stay in one weekend with her, too.
“I know, I know,” Gwyn says, pouring a shot of vodka into a cup. She slams it back and you can see the way that she’s working through the battery acid-like taste, the way she builds herself up before she continues. “Let’s go.”
“You ready?” James asks, trying to smother his amusement. You’re hardly even touching him as you dance together, and yet you can still feel Rhys’ harsh glare from the center of the makeshift living room dancefloor.
“Not a chance,” you respond, and your palms are damp just thinking about it.
“Good, because here he comes,” he warns, right before you’re ripped away from him.
Rhys stands like a raging bull, complete with nostrils flaring, and you’re pretty sure he’s digging his foot into the ground like he’s about to charge. You can’t help but to giggle at his antics, and you can’t wait to see how this plays out.
James swallows harshly, all of the amusement washes from his face as he pales. He’s still too green on the team to really know Rhys all that well, and right now, he’s regretting deciding to tease his captain, even if it is for the greater good.
You and your classmate had come to an agreement. Your roommates didn’t question you when James appeared at your side with a shot in hand and a question to dance. In fact, they all but shoved you into his arms, giggling and whispering to each other before you’d even had the chance to turn around.
They’re somewhere around here, and hopefully, they’re not close enough to watch how this plays out.
He raises his hands in surrender. “Hey, cap.”
“James,” Rhys grits. He looks like an avenging angel, except that he’s dressed as a vampire. You can’t tell if the cape tied around his neck is sexy or not, but his white button down that shows off the top of his chest most definitely is.
It’s offset by the plastic fangs poking out from his lips is most definitely cuter than anything.
Everything you notice about him is a confusing jumble.
“How are you enjoying the party?” James all but squeaks, and you bite your lip to keep from laughing. You feel kind of bad for your new friend, putting himself in the line of fire like this, but as soon as your bargain falls into place with Rhys, you’re going to try your best to make it worthwhile for James.
“Scram kid, before I make you do laps the entire next practice,” Rhys grunts and you can’t control yourself, you burst into laughter.
Rhys turns towards you, confused. You straighten, wiping pretend tears from your face. “I’m sorry, did you just fucking say scram?”
“So, what if I did?” Rhys asks, and he’s clearly enjoying that smile he’s put on your face. His chest puffs with pride, but he pouts and your grin widens.
“I just didn’t know we time-traveled back to the 1900’s.”
Rhys makes a face at you that is all too endearing. He pokes you on the arm and you jerk away before retaliating.
“Hey!” You whine when he traps your wrists in one large hand, poking you in the sides with the other. The way you’re squirming makes him wonder if you’d be moving like that in his bed. He immediately releases you and you straighten your dress, feeling the shift in the atmosphere. “I’m, uh, going to get a drink,” you mutter. Finding the roommates you’d abandoned might be helpful as well.
Just as you’re about to spin on your heel, Rhys’ groan of agony stops you.
“What the fuck is she doing here?” He curses, and his entire playboy protective captain aura goes up in flames. Now he’s a frustrated, annoyed boy whose clingy ex won’t take a fucking hint.
“Who?” You question, rolling cautiously onto your tiptoes to try and see who Rhys is talking about. You can’t see a damn thing in the darkness of the house. You’re not even sure where your own roommates are.
“Amarantha,” Rhys sighs, then, more frantic. “Fuck, we made eye contact. Hold my hand.”
You hide your excitement. This is perfect. Not planned, by any means, because you’re not evil, but it will further your plans. Just after you play with Rhysand a little bit longer. “What? No way!”
Rhys shoots you a dry look. “Jesus, (Y/N), don’t spare my feelings, or anything.”
“Sorry,” you grin, sheepishly.
“Please,” he begs, and you try not to let it show how much him pleading affects you. You thought you were hot before, but now you’re fucking dripping. “I’ll do anything.”
You try not to let your mind wander into what anything could mean. Maybe you need another drink to cool yourself down, or make your mind a little more imaginative.
Rhys’ gaze flicks worriedly to where his ex is stalking your way with a purpose.
Right, back on track.
“Fine,” you hiss, mostly because you can’t stand those sad eyes he’s giving you. You know it’s a ploy, but if it gets him to stop pestering you, you’ll do it. Plus, if Rhys sees that you’re willing to play his little game, it’ll be much easier to bring up the internship you want with the team. “Put your arm around me.”
He does much more than that. Rhys throws his arm over your shoulder and pulls you into his side. You jump at the warmth and ignore the look of confusion he shoots you.
“If you don’t put your hands on me, she’s not going to believe that you’re my girlfriend.”
“And why is that?” you mutter, scouring the crowd for his ex-girlfriend. She shouldn’t be so hard to find with her bright hair and menacing presence, but there’s no sign of her yet, even with your sky-high heels on.
“Because, you’re supposed to be my girlfriend,” Rhys growls, but his unhappiness isn’t directed at you. His violet eyes dark with violence. He looks like he could still hunt James down and strangle him just for dancing with you.
“But I’m not, really,” you counter, trying to keep up your withering façade. Truth is, you’ve done exactly what you set out to do, prove to Rhys that his rules mean nothing to you and that you’re never going to be one of those girls who lets a man tell her what to do.
When you step closer to Rhys to better berate him over the loud music, you barely notice James slinking back into the crowd. He uses you as a distraction for his captain, just like the both of you planned.
“But you are,” Rhys hisses, and you refuse to like the way your body reacts to his words. His arm is a warm weight around your arm as he guides you in the direction of the living room. In the threshold, he stops you, and you’re not sure what you’re supposed to be focusing on when his front is pressed up against your back like this and there’s a hardness pressing against you that you’d never be able to ignore.
“When she’s around,” Rhys starts, and his breath against your ear makes it difficult not to shiver. He nods toward the crowd, right to where his ex is oblivious, dancing with her friends. She’s dressed as some kind of sexy witch, which is fitting, since you’ve met her and know her attitude is worse than nice. “You’re all mine, (Y/N). If I want your hands all over me, you’ll do it. If I want to kiss you, you won’t pull away,” you clutch the drink in your hand tighter, and your thighs mirror the motion. “And if we get a little carried away…” he trails off. His hands resting on your hips curve around your front. You can feel him like a brand through the thin fabric of your dress. Your breath hitches in your throat and you can’t help but to lean further into him. “Well, I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.”
You glare, but he’s right. The only reason you’re so vehemently against this idea is because Mor could catch you at any second.
“Fine. But I need your help with something in exchange.” It hurts you to admit it, but James said that there wasn’t much he could do to guarantee you an internship with the team, and you can admit that it would look really good on your applications to say that you aided in athletic training for Vulcan U’s hockey team.
Too bad you know exactly who does hold sway with their coach, and he’s also your tutor.
And an arrogant asshole.
“Oh?” He quirks a cocky brow and you regret asking him immediately. You don’t like that spark of intrigue in his eyes. “Now I have something that you want?”
You grit your teeth and shove at his chest. His hands don’t move from around your waist, keeping you pressed tightly against his body. To the other partygoers, you pushing at him might look playful, and, reading the smug smile on Rhys’ face, he thinks the same.
“Yes,” you admit, shoulders dropping. You don’t know why you’re finding it so difficult to look at those sparkling violet eyes of his, but you drag your gaze across the party, taking in the different costumes and couples gyrating in the middle of his living room. Rhys allows you to find you words, and when you return your eyes to his, you find him staring down at you with a soft look on his face.
“I was speaking with James,” you start, and his grip tightens on your hips. Rhys’ mouth flattens and his eyes sharpen, jerking from yours to scour the crowd for his teammate. “Hey,” you swat at his arm, gaining his attention. “I didn’t think you needed the reminder that I can speak to who I want.”
“And I didn’t think you needed the reminder that you can’t put moves on any of my players,” Rhys says, leaning down to growl in your ear. His lips brush the shell of your ear, sending a shiver up your spine, and your fingers tighten in his shirt. Hopefully he reads it as your annoyance and not because you don’t trust how wobbly your knees have just become. “Except for me, because I have a feeling that we’re about to make a deal. Isn’t that right, (Y/N)?”
You lean away from him, just enough to meet his eyes again. They’re as intense as they are playful, and when his thumb strokes your hip, you all but cave.
“A deal?” You echo, because they’re the only words in your vocabulary that haven’t disappeared from your mind.
Rhysand’s lips tug into the biggest self-fucking-satisfied smile you’ve ever seen, and that’s when you realize that your gaze has wandered down to his perfect, kissable lips.
You shove against his chest again and this time he relents, allowing a few inches of space between you. It’s barely enough, though. Every exhale has your chests brushing, but you manage to wedge your arms into the space and cross them over your chest.
You definitely don’t miss the way Rhys’ eyes flick down to your breasts that you’re conveniently pushing up for his viewing pleasure.
“What do you want, darling?” He purrs, and damn him for being so fucking sexy. And the fact that he’s dressed as a vampire…gods, he’s every woman’s wet dream. “Do you want my hands?” He drags his palms across your hips and it feels like there’s no fabric between his hands and your skin at all. “Do you want my brains?” He waggles his eyebrows, grinning when you break into a smile against your will. Rhys leans in closer, too close. You can’t breathe. “Or my blood?”
You squeal when he latches himself to your neck. The plastic vampire teeth poke into your skin but all you can focus on is his lips on your skin, the way you’re about to fucking combust—
“Incoming,” a voice shouts and Rhys rips himself away from you. He winces as soon as he straightens and sees his roommates charging toward the both of you with drinks in their hands. Thankfully, Cassian and Azriel haven’t seem to have noticed whatever was just happening between you and Rhysand, which is good, because you don’t know what the hell that was, either.
You don’t even have the time to think about it because the hockey players are infiltrating your space, and you lose your breath at the sight of them.
Azriel’s dressed as Nightwing. You thought Rhys was every woman’s wet dream, but Azriel, Azriel is wet dream fuel. His black hair hangs across his forehead. A black eye mask covers most of his face, but it’s the skin-tight pleather bodysuit that really does the costume in. There’s a blue bird with its wings expanded across his chest, and the costume does nothing to hide how muscular he is.
You wonder who the hell got him into that costume, and if they’re even still alive because the look on his face is set so harsh that a single glance might just make you drop dead.
Or your panties drop.
Rhysand coughs and nudges you in the shoulder, snapping you from your trance. He’s frowning down at you in disapproval, and it takes little effort to grin back up at him, annoying him further. If he really didn’t think you wanted to fall into bed with any of his teammates, he’s sure thinking it now.
And he doesn’t like that one fucking bit.
Cassian’s costume is some sort of sexy chef, sans shirt, but he dons an apron that reads, ‘this guy rubs his own meat’ with an arrow pointing south. He has a chef’s hat on and is carrying a spatula that you know can only spell out trouble, and you barely even know the guy.
Mor and Gwyn plow into the circle as well. Mor slips between you and Rhys first, and it’s really for the best, but you’re already missing his warmth, despite the mugginess in the air. He shoots you a look that tells you you’ll be finishing your conversation later and you nod softly, loosening your shoulders and focusing on the conversation at hand.
Gwyn follows, so she’s wedged between you and Mor. She looks entirely uncomfortable here, eyes downcast to the floor, avoiding any and all eye contact. Her fingers are white-knuckled around her solo cup and you worry that she might crack the thing any second, so you silently wind your arm with hers and give her a reassuring smile that she can barely return.
You think you need to get her home soon. She’s clearly not having any fun at all, and Mor’s too busy taking over the conversation to notice.
“We need to play a game, or something,” she whines to her cousin, who rolls his eyes in response. For whatever reason, Rhy is not impressed with the idea, most likely because all of the games his cousin likes to play at parties involve touching or secrets or kissing…or drinking so much that he doesn’t remember what happened and wakes up regretting his entire existence the morning following.
What Rhys wouldn’t mind would be actually kissing you, and if he indulges his cousin, she can’t be mad should fate pair you and him together for an innocent kiss. He wants to know if you taste just as sweet as you smell, because the nip to your neck was nowhere near enough.
The only problem is, his ex is lingering around his house somewhere. He can’t join the game lest she join or, even worse, out you as his fake girlfriend in front of Mor who made it more than clear that you are completely off limits to him.
It only makes him want you that much more.
“Okay,” he answers, and your head snaps to his in surprise. “Let’s play a game.”
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Over Ice Taglist:
@saltedcoffeescotch @acourtofbatboydreams @mrsjna @velarisdusk @bionic-donut @tenshis-cake @eleganttravelercloud @lilah-asteria @serena05 @bwormie @soph1644 @house-husband-of-castlemurdock @tothestarsandwhateverend @topaz125 @judig92 @se7enteen--black-blog @thecraziestcrayon @cherry-cin @itsinherited @justafictionalnerd @bookishbroadwaybish @405rry @itsinherited
#rhys acotar#rhysand/reader#acotar#azsazz#acomaf#acowar#rhysand x reader#acotar hockey au#over ice#hockey!bat boys#hockey!rhysand
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FLATLINE | PAIGE BUECKERS
⋅˚₊‧ paige x fem!gf!reader
⋅˚₊‧ summary: y/n and paige experience what it means to be in a long distance relationship, but with the distance between them, can they overcome it?
⋅˚₊‧ warning : secret relationship, angst (kinda) ,long distance.
⋅˚₊‧ duayaps: first post🥳🥳🥳.
⋅˚₊‧ inspired by flatline by justin bieber.
⋅˚₊‧ nav ||
"I'LL MISS YOU" paige muttered against her neck.
"it'll go by before you know it" y/n said pulling away from the hug. When college applications started being filled, she took a big risk and applied for Politecnico di Milano, a fashion uni in Milan, Italy. She had already said goodbye to her parents, thinking that was the hardest goodbye she could imagine, but the tears in her eyes from saying goodbye to her girlfriend right now, told her she lied to herself a while ago.
Paige and y/n had always had a rocky side of their relationship, for one, it was a secret waiting to bomb the world, two, they always knew that long distance was going to be a thing for them. With Paige going to Uconn and Yn going to PDM, 'it was already doomed' said by most people. But overcoming the rocky side of their relationship, there was the fairytale side. The one where they in love, where they supported each other in everything, where they took each others first kisses, first everything. They were each other's lifelines in a way, they didn't go a day without speaking to each other.
They both hoped that these future 4 years, weren’t going to change their feelings of each other.
✩
Lately you've been busy, wondering if you miss me
Why did you go against me? I just wanna know
How come you act so different? Talk to me, I'll listen
All the love I'm giving, don't act like you don't know
“…leave a message after the tone” y/n sighed as she hung up the phone. It was 7am and her alarm had just gone off, Paige was most likely asleep. It’s 1am at Storrs.
If you put the time difference aside, they were doing well. Both of them spent at least 2 hours everyday on the phone and haven’t had an any problems yet.
But it’s only been 5 months. 7 months and 3 years to go.
Y/n was glad Paige settled in great, she got along with her teammates and had a great support system there. Paige became a media star, with that came many fans. While y/n wasn’t the jealous type, these fans were wild.
She opened her instagram app, and slowly started to scroll through stories. When she stopped, went stiff. “Oh” she muttered, her girlfriend’s teammate, Aaliyah, had posted a story with the Uconn women’s basketball team having fun ,at what she would guess, a bar. Paige is in the background , a girl sitting next to her, whiles shes on the phone. Y/n quickly checked when the story was posted,10minutes ago.
‘Okay so she could’ve just posted this when she came home’ y/n quickly assured herself. Paige wouldn’t just ignore her calls, especially on a night out, right?
As those thoughts filled her head, a notification sound came from her phone.
pb 👩🏼❤️💋👩🏽
gm baby. can’t talk, tired, going to bed.
y/n didn’t think anything, she couldn’t. She just typed ‘sweet dreams💗’ and hit send.
no i love you, no ily, not even an emoji.
‘Stop, don’t overthink this ,shes just tired’ she told herself. She shut her phone off and got out of bed, leaving her thoughts about P in her comfy bed.
:
It had been a month since the bar incident, and everything seemed normal, until a week ago.
Y/n just got out of work, a small intern job to help her graduate early. It was 6pm in Milan, and 12 in Storrs.On her way home, y/n called P.
The phone rang, 1,2,3 times before she hung up. Tried a gain, 1,2,3. User is busy.Paige had hung up on her, she didn’t think much of it. ‘She’s probs busy’.
That was 6 days ago.
While they exchange texts, no calls were made this week. Paige was busy, like really busy, But not busy ‘not go out with her friends for the 3rd time this week’ busy. Y/n got it, freshman year, new teammates, she had to have fun. She also knew that their relationship was on the down low. Even though she assured Paige that it was okay to tell her teammates, P reluctantly agreed. ‘I don’t know, i’ll see’ She muttered to y/n, 2 weeks ago on their normal facetime call.
Y/n didn’t want to think much of it, she didn’t want her overthinking to brew a fight. The last 2 years she was back home, her and paige had never gone a day without speaking to each other, but so what it stopped now?, it was common sometimes to not call. So she let it be, but Paiges text became more and more rare,more dry and definitely more weird.
But y/n knew, paige was just busy.
✩
Girl you always catch me at the bad time (Bad time)
When I know you probably think it's a lie (A lie)
I know I told you last time was the last time (Last time)
How could you pull the plug and leave me flatline?
On the other end of the phone. Y/n hit the red button, and ended the call. She hit her head on the wall behind her in frustration, thankful that the call wasn’t on facetime and Paige could see her sad face.
Y/n had called in sick at work so she could watch Paiges game in peace, her boss gave her an earful, because it was one of the more busier seasons in the fashion world, but she let her be ‘sick in bed’. She was proud of Paige, and was the happiest for her.
But the mood drifted when she heard the voice tell her they need her. ‘I need her too’ Y/n thought. This was the first time in a month that Y/n heard Paiges voice. Her heart clenched when she heard her sound weird, it sounded like she was frustrated. Frustrated with who though, with y/n?.
As time went quick, it felt like Paiges texts were more rare, and even more dry. And Y/n didn’t know if Paige was aware of the way she was acting, she also didn’t know if she should say anything, Paige was a freshman in college having fun, alone,without Y/n next to her.
If Y/n were to say anything, she didn’t want to seem like the bitchy jealous girlfriend that only wanted Paige to spend time with her, she just wanted Paige to spend some time with her.
It felt like their relationship was a bomb, and their time was running out quickly.
How could you pull the plug and leave me flatline? (Flatline)
Cause when I hit you, you don't even reply (Reply)
How could you pull the plug and leave me flatline?
✩
Not breathing, what is it I'm not seeing
Said she's leaving, damn I can't believe it
It's like my heart's bleeding knowing that you don't need me
Shut my heart down, now I don't know what Imma do now
“… i just need some space y/n” Paige said with frustration, a sigh coming after. Y/n’s heart dropped.
It all started an hour and a half ago.
Paige went out with her teammates after a late night practice, forgetting that y/n was waiting on her phone call that she promised she would do after practice.
After she came home, she was bombarded with messages from Y/n. 8 to be exact.
y/n💍
hey did you finish practice?
- 8:15PM
you ready?
- 8:18PM
paige?
- 8:20PM
paigeeeeeeee???
- 8:30PM
pbabyyyy
- 8:35PM
pls tell me u didn’t forget
- 8:45PM
paige are you fucking kidding me
- 9:45PM
it’s our anniversary
- 9:45PM
call me when you get home and make sure you’re not busy
- 9:50PM
And when she called, the yelling happened. It was the first fight they’ve had in a while. While Y/n finally exploded demanding to know what’s happening with her, Paige only had one thing to say.
“I think we should take a break”
“What?” Y/n whispered after a long pause.
“i’m not ready to be in a relationship Y/n/n, i’m still questioning what i want, and i don’t know if its you yet.” Paige said. “I’m sorry, i just need some space Y/n”
Y/n heart dropped, she didn’t know what to say or think. While Y/n knew that not everything lasted, Paige was a sure thing. Paige was her lifeline. What was she going to do?.
Y/n gulped and said the only thing she knew she could say “It’s okay”.
‘It’s okay?’ Paige was taken back. Had Y/n want to breakup before?, and then Paige shockingly felt hurt in her chest, her stomach slightly dropped. Why was she feeling like this? why isn’t she feeling relief?. This has been on Paiges mind for the past 3 months, wasn’t this the solution?
“Go be a superstar but don’t expect me to wait for you while you figure out what you want to do” Y/n said, her voice sweet. Not even a slight tone of bitterness.
Y/n still wasn’t able to move from her spot on the kitchen counter. Tears were streaming down her face, and before a sob sound could come, she hung up the phone. All Y/n knew was Paige, but know she didn’t even know that.
She had literally left her clueless, without her lifeline. now flatline.
✩
- 5 MONTHS LATER -
Paige stood there, watching from her afar.
“That’s her?” a croatian accent asked. She felt Nika sit beside her. “Yeah” Paige answered still in awe of her.
“She’s really pretty” Nika said. Paige nodded agreeing with her. She was wearing a flowy white short summer dress with cowboy boots.
It was Drews birthday today, and as the team had some off time, Drew invited them to his barbecue party. And the weekend before his birthday, he ran into Y/n. Of course the boy was oblivious to the breakup and while he asked still asked Paige for Y/n, she didn’t have the heart to tell him that they broke up.
So when Drew begged Y/n to come to his birthday party, Y/n didn’t know what else to say but yes. He could literally get whatever he wanted out of everyone.
At first, Y/n debated if she should just call Paiges stepmom and cancel, or she should just go and pray that Paige couldn’t make it.
Well, Paige had come. And so did the rest of the huskies. When Y/n saw them, she sighed. Although she was friends with Azzi, she didn’t know the rest of them, but by the look on their faces when she came in, she knew that Paige had told them her history.
Azzi, being the sweetheart she is, excitedly came running to Y/n and hugging her tight. The whole party they caught up with each other, with Azzi telling her about Uconn and Y/n telling her about studying abroad. For the past 30 minutes they’ve been talking, not once have either of them mentioned Paige.
Y/n turned, meeting Paiges eyes. The two of them made eye contact with each other again. Y/n then heard Azzi laughed, when she snapped her head to look at her friend. She saw a small teasing smile on her face. “Don’t even start” Y/n said, glaring at her. She got up and made her way to the other side of the backyard, where there was no Paige in sight.
“Y/n/n” she heard a child scream. Drew was suddenly hugging her legs. “Hi Drewsky” she laughed, beginning to tickle him. She felt the boy starting to laugh, and start to kick her hands away, while Paige and her were together, Drew became a big part in their relationship. Paiges parents often made Paige babysit Drew, and Y/n just tagged along. Through that time, Drew and Y/n became close, Y/n considered him as a baby brother. She would miss him.
“Paigeyy help me” Drew screamed laughing. Y/n became stiff, the hair behind her neck stood. She could feel her ex behind her as she let the little boy go and stand up.
Paige and Y/n stared at one another. Paige was thankful her teammates weren’t around right now, they would be on her ass all day after this.
“Hi” Y/n whispered, looking away from her and to the ground.
“Hey” Paige said back. “How’ve you been-“
“Paige please no small talk, what do you want?” Y/n cut her off. This was already awkward enough, no need to make it even more.
“Uh” Paige stuttered, a sigh coming after. “I missed you” Paige admitted. Y/n’s blood boiled, now she missed me?
Paige could sense Y/n anger, she placed a hand on Y/n elbow, tugging her from leaving. “Please just wait” Paige pleaded “I’m sorry, i just didn’t know what to do i kept having all of this kind of feelings and i know i was busy but i swear just one more chance-“
“Paige” y/n cut her off
“- and i’ll promise i’ll try harder-“ paige continued
“-stop-“ she tried to stop her
“please just give me one more chance”
“-okay” she agreed. Paiges eyes went wide, she didn’t think she would get her to agree that easy.
“I only needed you to apologize P, i only want you to make some time for me thats all. And if were really trying this again you have to be sure you want this because i don’t know if i can handle loosing you again” She said still looking at the ground.
Paiges heart dropped hearing her voice break. Although she knew how Y/n felt, Paige had been nothing but moody,grumpy and miserable these past few months. Seeing Y/n today, brought her hope that she had a second shot with her.
Y/n slowly picked up her head, and looked up at Paige. Paige was jaw dropping hot, and she knew that, her head couldn’t get any bigger by her ego.
Paige reached a hand towards her waist, pulling Y/n towards her. When she did, she slowly dropped a sweet kiss on her girlfriends lips, when she pulled away, her forehead dropped to Y/n’s.
She felt like she could finally breathe, her chest no longer hurt. She had her lifeline back.
✩
#Spotify#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers imagine#huskies#uconn#nika muhl#azzi fudd#aaliyah edwards#paige bueckers headcannons#wnba#lesbian#dua writes
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hi sie!! i'm happy to see that your requests are open and would like to request something myself c: 1. seonghwa 2. roommate au 3. prompts 11 and 17 4. with spice please 🙏 thanks so much! i rly appreciate you and your writing even if you can't get to this 💕
I hope you like this!!! really enjoyed writing this one :)
— sleep-talker || p.sh (m.)
“You know you sleep talk?”
“Stop looking at me like that.
🌊pairing ⇢ (fem) reader x roommate! Seonghwa
🌊 summary ⇢ when you and your friends decide on a trip to the beach for spring break, you get stuck rooming with the man you "hate" the most. The line between love and hate is as thin as ice, and you were about to break it.
🌊 genre/au ⇢ roommates au, vacation au, one bed trope, forced proximity au, smut
🌊 warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ minors DNI, wet dreams, fingering, rough sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, PDA, "enemies" to lovers, one-bed trope, teasing, jealousy, intense tension like holy hell
🌊 word count ⇢ 10.2k words
🌊 taglist ⇢ @jjhmk @yesv01 @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @yukine-smx @y00nzin0 @8tinytings @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts (please let me know if I forgot you!)
masterlist
ateez masterlist
“Are you for real right now?”
Spring break. A time for rest, relaxation, and lots and lots of sex.
And now, your plans of being a whore for the vacation were ruined.
“Yes, y/n. I can't afford another room just for you to have to yourself,” Hongjoong, your older brother, mumbled as he stuffed the last bit of clothes into his luggage. “You’ll have to room with Seonghwa. San and Wooyoung already called each other.”
He zipped up his suitcase and stood up to leave, but he couldn't get off that easily. “Please, Joong. I’ll do anything. Cant I just room with you and Mingi?” he hastily made his way out of his room and into the living room, trying his hardest to get away from you. “I’ll sleep on the floor. No blanket, just the floor. Please.”
He turned to face you, a confused expression on his face. “Why are you so adamant about not staying with Hwa? What did he ever do to you?” he asked you, genuinely curious. The truth is, he did nothing to you personally. Maybe that was why you hated him, because god, if he gave you the time of day, you would pounce on him like a cat in heat.
You groaned, running a hand through your messy, unwashed hair. “Because he’s a dumb ass jerk that gets everything he wants.”
Hongjoong laughed at you and turned away. “It's only a week, y/n. He’ll probably spend most of his time in our room, anyway. Just bring a book to read or something to distract yourself.”
As if reading is the thing you'll be focused on if you were in a room with him. Oh Nah, you'll be wishing he’d walk around shirtless and hoping he somehow takes a shower and walks out with nothing on—
“I hope you're packed and ready….” Joong trailed off as he looked at your messy exterior, and stifled a laugh. “And if you're thinking of getting laid, you might want to shower.”
You slapped him on the shoulder, having no drive to shower. You'll get one when you get there. It's not like you were that stinky.
“Shut up, dickhead.”
You stood on the sidewalk of your apartment building, Hongjoong’s little yellow Geo Tracker sitting there lookin’ all cute. However, the tiny thing only had five seats.
There were six of you.
“Welp looks like I can't go! What a shame, what a shame,” you sarcastically yelled out, tossing your hands in the air exasperatedly. “Have fun without me!”
“Shut your mouth, will you?” Hongjoong groaned, tossing your luggage into the “trunk” or whatever it was. “It's only a ride to the airport. You can sit on someone’s lap for ten minutes.”
You crossed your arms over your chest. “Why am I the one that has to do that? Wooyoung is like the size of my arm. He can do it.”
Joong shut the trunk with force at your comment, totally disregarding you. “Hop in,” he said. “Enjoy shotgun while you have the chance.”
You got in reluctantly, even though you were very excited about the beach itself. Your excitement was short-lived as you approached the devil’s lair.
“Stay here, I’ll go help them,” Hongjoong mumbled, pushing his sunglasses up on his forehead as he put the car in park.
You nodded, your arms crossed over your chest. You didn't mind the rest of the group— San and Wooyoung always knew how to make you laugh, and Mingi was absolutely eye candy. You wouldn't mind sitting on his lap on the way to the airport.
Just as you got comfortable with your head resting against the window, the door abruptly opened, causing you to nearly fall out of the vehicle. “For fuck’s sake, who the hell—” your words got caught in your throat as you met eyes with Park fucking Seonghwa. “Oh, it's you…”
He stood there, his thin torso draped in a sheer white top and his long, lean legs covered in a pair of black pants. You swallowed your drool like a schoolgirl, making sure he never knows how you think of him.
“What?” you raised your eyebrow, not moving an inch and not even reaching to unplug your seatbelt. “This seat’s taken, buddy.”
He snickered, his lips mockingly curled up in a sneer. “Oh, aren't you a sweetheart? Now move, I called shotgun.”
“Well, I did first.”
“No, you didn't.”
“Yes, I did.”
“No.”
“Yes—”
“Neither of you are getting shotgun,” your brother laughed from behind Seonghwa, San and Wooyoung giggling like the goofs they are next to him. You still didn't move, even as Joong approached and unbuckled your seatbelt for you. “Y/N, please help me out here.”
You debated on throwing a fit, but knowing that it would just cause more problems, you sighed and pushed yourself out of the front seat. Now standing on the curb of the sidewalk right in front of Seonghwa, you tilted your head up to look him in the eyes. His gaze was intense—it made you envision what it would be like in bed, looking down at him from above, and how his eyebrows would knit together in pleasure. God, you needed to get laid this vacation, or you were going to be suffering from delusions.
Without warning, Mingi pushed through both of you, interrupting your staring contest.
“We better go, I don't want to listen to their bickering any longer,” the tall boy huffed as he plopped himself in the front seat, a proud smile resting on his lips.
San sat in the backseat on the right, Wooyoung next to him in the middle. That left either you or seonghwa to fight to the death for that last seat, but you knew how this was going to end.
And it wasn't going to end well.
—
“You comfortable, y/n?” your brother called from the driver’s seat, looking back at you through the rearview mirror.
You frowned so deeply you could've sworn your face was permanently stuck like that.
There you were, in the back of the car, in the most uncomfortable seat ever. Seonghwa groaned underneath you, his bony body not offering you any wiggle room. You didn't answer your brother, you were certain your expression was enough of a response.
You adjusted yourself on Seonghwa’s lap, looking out the window for any distraction. As you moved, you felt him move his hips, and you had to shut away your filthy thoughts about him as soon as they came. Between his movements and his groans, your stomach was knotting in something more than butterflies.
The car was filled with conversation, however, you and Seonghwa remained quiet and in your own little worlds. As the others bantered, you pushed yourself up further on his lap, grimacing as you heard him let out a grunt in your ear.
And then when his hands gripped onto your bare thighs, you were the one to gasp.
“Stop moving,” he whispered in your ear with haste, almost like a sneer. You kept your vision forward as his breath danced in your ear. “It hurts.”
You swallowed hard. “Oh? Is your little dick that sensitive?” you whispered back, smirking. You moved again, this time on purpose, feeling his bulge through his pants. You kept your cool, ignoring his shaky breaths from behind you. “Are you that happy to see me, Hwa?”
“Shut your mouth or you won’t see the sunrise,” he hissed, but his voice was weak.
The ten-minute ride felt like an eternity as he breathed underneath you, your mind constantly thinking about how hard he was getting underneath you and how sweet it would be to turn around and face him to see his reaction to you.
You looked to your right, seeing Wooyoung with a knowing smile on his face. “What?” you asked him, raising an eyebrow.
He shrugged, grinning. “Nothing, nothing,” he said, letting out a giggle. “Just that you both seem…cozy.”
You slapped him on the shoulder, your movements causing Seonghwa to wiggle underneath you.
“Dammit, Y/N I told you to stop moving,” he seethed, his grip on your thigh tightening. Hongjoong looked back through the mirror, worry in his expression.
“Everything okay?” he asked, meeting your eyes before focusing on the road once again. “We’re almost there, only about a minute or two.”
“Ten-minute ride my ass,” you mumbled, and as you entered the Airport, you should've known that there were going to be speed bumps on the way in….
The shitty old car hopped over the bump, feeling like it hit a huge boulder. You bounced up, not held by any seatbelt, landing hard, right on Seonghwa’s family jewels.
“Fuck,” he cried, tossing his head back against the headrest. Your hands were now holding onto his legs for dear life.
“Joong, will you slow down for those things? Some of us are suffering back here,” you said, to which seonghwa started laughing.
“You're telling me.” he scoffed.
“Okay okay, I just have to park. I have no idea how this works….where the hell is the long-term parking—”
“Probably over there,” Mingi pointed in the opposite direction.
“No, no, I think it’s—”
“I can't take this anymore!” you cried out, leaning forward to assist Hongjoong since Mingi isn't helping. “There's a huge sign in front of us. How can you miss that? It spells it out, dammit.” you huffed, throwing yourself back into your “seat.” This time, he didn't let out a single groan, probably just as fed up with you as you were with him.
Finally, Hongjoong found the lot and parked the car, and as soon as it was stationary, you tossed yourself out of the vehicle like there was no tomorrow. You knew that you couldn't last a minute more on his lap, because if you did, you would be so tempted to turn around and make out with those painfully pretty lips of his. God, he made you so mad. Ever since you met him, there were only the same thoughts circulating round and round.
Dirty thoughts.
Seonghwa crawled out of the car like a decrepit old spider, his long legs holding up his body with grace. You bit your lip, looking down at where you were sitting on him. Quickly, you looked away as he noticed your gaze, and ran away to go help the others with the luggage.
You weren't quick enough to miss the achingly attractive smirk on Seonghwa’s face.
Why did he have to be so….. libidinous? He was like a wild animal, able to take the lives away of his prey with just an expression.
No more seonghwa on the brain—it was beach time. You were certain you could find someone at a bar to sleep with later, and it wouldn't be Hwa.
Not now, not ever.
—
You got lucky with the plane ride.
Your seat buddy was Mingi, and Hongjoong knew how much you like your window seats.
Mingi nearly slept the whole flight, his head rested against your shoulder. He snored a little, but it didn't matter. The gentle giant had a place in your heart, so he could do no wrong.
You often stole glances at Seonghwa across the aisle, his head bobbing up and down as he fought his tiredness. He was so much more likable when he was sleeping, but that was definitely due to the fact that he couldn't stare at you with those entrancing eyes or run that mouth of his.
You were the only one awake by the end of the flight. It was difficult for you to sleep in public places. It didn't feel right. So you would fight off sleep as hard as you could and distract yourself with anything around you.
After the fiasco of leaving the plane, you anxiously trailed behind Hongjoong through the busy airport, pushing past loads of people who had places to be. Thank goodness you were able to leave the airport without a fuss, even if seonghwa was nearly breathing down your neck as you exited.
Luckily, the ride to the hotel wasn't far—and there were more than enough seats for all of you. You distanced yourself from Seonghwa, ignoring his hellish gaze.
The hotel you were staying at stood tall, facing the gorgeous blue ocean for a perfect view. You shut your eyes as you took everything in, smelling the saltiness and the warmth of the air. You smiled to yourself, but your delightful moment didn't last long.
Seonghwa bumped into you purposely, digging his shoulder into yours before walking past you toward the hotel entrance. “Hey, what was that for?” you growled, a scowl on your face.
“You were in the way,” is all he said, not even bothering to turn to face you as he spoke. He continued walking, his beautiful silhouette showing through his sheer shirt. Oh, you wanted to tear it off of him so badly.
You let out a huff of air, but then followed your friends into the building, knowing the end was near if you had to share the room with your snack of choice.
Hongjoong went up to the front desk as you and the boys stood near the doorway, waiting for him to check us in. It didn't take him long, and soon enough, he was walking back over, key cards in his hand, and a bright smile on his face. “All checked in! This’ll be our home for the next week.”
San grabbed his key card first. “Are we all on the same floor? Like in a row? It would be no fun if I had to actually put on clothes to go on the elevator.”
“Yes, San, we’re all on the same floor.” Hongjoong held in his laugh, already clearly enjoying his time away from reality. You stood angrily with your arms across your chest next to seonghwa, who didn't look any happier than you. “And will you two brighten up? You’re killing the vibe.”
You rolled your eyes, glancing up at the boy next to you. His dark hair was slightly frizzy from the humidity, sticking to his forehead like it would if he were sweating. You gulped, thinking dirty thoughts once more before regaining your peace of mind. “I’m not doing anything. It’s all him.”
“No, it’s all you, not me.” he retaliated.
“You’re the one that got a hard-on from me just innocently sitting on your lap.”
“You were purposely shoving your ass on me like a freak—”
“You are ruining the vacation already—”
“Annnd we’re not doing this again,” Mingi sighed and then gripped onto your arm to pull you towards the elevator.
“Let’s go, we got bars to get wrecked at.”
—
“Oh, hell no.”
You dropped your luggage as you entered your room for the week, staring at what was in it.
Or lack thereof.
One bed—a queen, maybe, sat in the middle of the room. A chair was tilted by the sliding glass doors that opened to the balcony, and a lamp stood in the corner. It was cute, of course, but you thought this couldn't get any worse.
Seonghwa walked past you into the room, setting his suitcase on the floor by the chair. “Don't worry,” he hummed, his voice low. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“I–” you paused, taking in a breath before continuing. “You can sleep on the bed, I ain't that mean.”
“So you think I’m going to let my best friend’s sister sleep on the floor?” he laughed, but it wasn't out of humor. “That’s funny. I’d get my ass beat.” He sat down on the floor, stretching out his long legs before opening his suitcase. “Just forget about me like you usually do and take the bed.”
You had no snarky remarks to throw at him this time, your eyelids feeling heavier than ever. You sighed, sitting down on the bed with a thud. “Okay, fine. Wake me up when we are going to leave.”
“Yeah yeah,” he snarkily replied, too focused on his luggage in front of him. You shut your eyes slowly, holding on to your consciousness a little longer, before drifting off into a sleep that would cause an unexpected uproar a few hours later.
—
After your amazing nap, you and the boys found your way to a beach bar, sand filling the floor and loud music playing in the background. You took your rightful spot at the bar, sitting right next to Wooyoung, who was already chugging a fruity margarita.
“You should try this, Y/N,” he let out a satisfied sigh after he finished his gulp. “Tastes like fucking unicorns and rainbows.”
You laughed. “Sounds divine, but I’ll pass and get my whiskey sour.”
He grimaced. “Ew, you should spruce it up a little bit sometimes.”
San sat down on the other side of him, a fancy glass in his hands as well. “Yeah, you’re kind of a bore.”
“San what the—”
“She is, isn't she?” Seonghwa hummed from behind you, and of course, sat his ass in the chair right next to you. You groaned, ignoring him once again, although it was quite hard to not drool as he gulped his beer, his throat bobbing as he drank it.
Fucking hell.
You looked around for any sign of your brother to save you, and once you saw him, you cringed, turning right back around to face the bar. “Dear god, can't he keep his dick in his pants for five minutes?” you shivered, trying to think of anything else other than your brother making out with a random person.
Seonghwa looked back, a smirk on his face as you ordered your drink. “Hypocrite. Just last week I walked in on you with Mingi in the chem lab,” he snickered, his midnight eyes catching the neon lights behind the bar. “Your tongue was so far down his throat I swear I—”
“Says the guy who I caught watching porn freshman year in the computer lab—”
“Here’s your Whiskey sour,” the bartender awkwardly interrupted, but thank god he did. You quickly chugged it, finishing it within a minute of getting it. He gave you another right away, and you downed that one as quickly as it came. He was cute, a little on the scruffy side, but definitely a good one-night. You gave him a look, feeling accomplished as he smirked a little before serving someone else.
“Maybe you shouldn't drink so fast, y/n,” San murmured from Wooyoung’s side, his strong arms holding his weight against the table. “You get drunk really quick on an empty stomach. Remember what happened last time? You have a bad habit of trying to kiss everything you see.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, setting the empty glass down on the bar. As you did that, you felt the warmth of the alcohol fill your body. “What? Who did I kiss?”
Seonghwa laughed from the other side of you while you focused on San.
“Me.” San blinked. “Tongue and all. But not just me, you kissed the statue outside our campus. You know, that really rusty one?”
You gagged. “Ew, no. stop. No, I didn't.”
“Oh, yes you did,” Seongwha piped in, sipping on his third or fourth beer. “And then you threw up on my shoes when I brought you home.”
You let out an exaggerated sigh of relief, taking his beer right out of his hands. “Phew, thank god I didn't kiss you,” you shivered, bringing the bottle up to your lips. After you started chugging it a little bit, Hwa ripped the bottle away from you.
You felt your vision start to sway from the alcohol. You loved the feeling of being drunk—just hated the hangovers. Right now though, you wanted to get wasted and go home with a stranger. The hangover will be tomorrow’s problem.
But seonghwa had to just run his mouth once again.
“You know you talk in your sleep, right?” He laughed, a full, humorous laugh. He tossed the bottle to the back of his throat and then continued to laugh at you. “Something about how awful the airplane food was and how drinking milk reminds you of cum.” he grimaced at the last part, but a playful smile still rested on his face. “God you are explicit.”
Your cheeks flushed, looking anywhere but his direction. “I do not sleeptalk.”
You looked to Wooyoung and San for help, but they looked dumbfounded. “I wouldn't know, y/n, I never slept with you,” San smirked, smiling deviously at you. “Unless you’re down with that, I’m all for hearing you sleeptalk in my ear all night.”
“Yeah, me too,” Woo played along, knowing he was just doing it to tease you. Seonghwa, on the other hand, was trying desperately to embarrass you in front of the hot bartender.
“God, it’s so annoying, I wanted to rip my hair out earlier,” he smiled devilishly, his teeth even brighter than normal under all the neon lights. “I thought I couldn't hate you more, but you proved me wrong.”
You looked straight ahead, ignoring Seonghwa’s goofy smile. “Whatever,” you huffed, resting your face on your hand, your elbow holding up the weight. You watched the sexy bartender notice your stare. He smiled and walked over to you.
“Need another sour?” he asked, his cheeks pinched with dimples. You had your eyes set on going home with him, and you were going to follow through with it. Seonghwa can stay outside for the night—or watch, it didn't matter to you.
“Actually,” you pondered, blinking slowly as the alcohol hit your system even harder. “I’ll take a vodka and Sprite. Grey Goose.” you hummed, watching him nod with a smirk on his face.
Seonghwa chuckled, but you were too focused on your mission to hear him blab about how much he hated you over and over again. Soon enough, that damn grey goose hit you harder than anything. Your eyes fluttered after your second glass, your vision fuzzy, and your heartbeat racing.
You let out a heavy sigh, unable to remember your original mission.
“Hey,” you coughed, your cheeks burning up from the toxin. You looked around the bar, only meeting Seonghwa’s eyes…..oh…they’re so pretty. “Where did everyone else go?”
He was facing you, looking at you through those sparkling irises of his. He took in a breath, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well, your brother left with that girl he was making out with earlier….San and Woo left not too long ago to go to another bar, and Mingi….” he paused, watching your expression change when mingi was mentioned. “Mingi went with them.”
“Ah,” you nodded. “Why’d you stop at mingi like that?”
He furrowed his brows. “Why’d you look like that when I mentioned him?”
You sniffled, feeling a burning sensation in your throat from all the vodka. “What do you mean?” you were too messed up to defend yourself. You didn't even know your expression changed.
“You looked…different when I said his name.”
You couldn't help but laugh at his dreary tone. “Pfft. Hwa, do you think that just because I slept with him once that I have feelings for him?”
He frowned, his eyebrows knit with confusion. “You slept with him? Mingi?”
You shrugged. “Yeah. Just once, though.” Oh god, you officially couldn't think straight. Why were you even telling him this? “But that was it.”
He looked at you with an unknown expression, flattening his lips. “So you just sleep with anyone, huh?”
You scoffed. “Well, no, not usually.” you bit your lip, looking at him without knowing how you were looking at him. “I kind of always wanted you, but I didn’t understand why, so I ignore the feeling by sleeping with other guys.”
“That makes no sense, y/n,” he spat. “What are you saying?”
You rolled your eyes, drunkenly gripping his broad shoulders, shaking him slightly. “Awh, shut it, Hwa. Haven't you ever felt that before?” you paused, not realizing how close you were. His eyes were sharp, and his lips parted. “Wanting someone you can't have? Knowing that they wouldn't want anything to do with you?”
He swallowed hard, his gaze piercing into you sharply. “You’re drunk, y/n,” he paused, looking at you intently before shaking your hands away. “Let’s go back to the hotel.”
“Oooh, don't tempt me, baby,” you poked his chest, giggling as he stood up off the barstool. You were completely oblivious to the fact that you just admitted to wanting him, but it didn't seem like he took it seriously.
“Get up,” he huffed, gripping under your arms and lifting you off your chair. You groaned, wrapping your arms around his waist. You held onto him tightly as he reached into his back pocket to grab money, tossing it onto the counter with a glare at the bartender.
“Enjoy your night,” Seonghwa growled, holding onto you, and made his way towards the hotel with you clung to him.
“Seonghwa,” you whispered, a giggle under your breath.
He grunted, pulling you along with him. “What?”
You sniffed. “Can I kiss you?”
He sighed. “No.”
“Why?” you mumbled, shoving your face into his chest.
“Because it’s your drunk habit.”
“So would you kiss me if it wasn't?” you asked, completely obliterated. There was no way you were going to remember this in the morning.
He didn't answer you.
“Come on, Hwa,” you moaned, stopping and gripping onto his collar in front of the hotel. You looked up into his eyes, feeling his intense gaze cut right through your intoxication. You needed him. Needed him bad. “Just once. God, just once.”
“I…” he swallowed, his hands twitching at his sides, crying out to touch you. He kept them away, even if he didn't want to. “Not now. Not while you’re drunk.”
You blinked slowly, watching his lips flatten into a frown. “Does that mean you want to?”
He sighed, running his hands through his hair aggressively. “Please just….let’s get back to the room and get you to bed.”
You groaned, but complied, following him into the hotel and into the elevator. The ride was silent, Seonghwa standing in the corner, farthest away from you, his breathing slowed. You stared at him, leaning up against the wall.
“I really hate you,” you mumbled, glaring at him. He was too sexy, his hair messy, his eyes dark, his long legs taller than a skyscraper. You only admitted your attraction to him when you were drunk, but you couldn't deny the pull you had to him.
He looked up at you, his starry eyes looking from your legs, up to your hips, over your breasts, and finally to your eyes. He took in a sharp breath, biting the corner of his lip.
“I hate you too,” he whispered, his vision low.
And in what world would the words I hate you cause someone’s heart to flutter?
The elevator dinged at your floor, and after a moment of longing stares, Seonghwa gripped your arm and dragged you out. He held onto your drunken body as he searched for his keycard, and once he found it, you tumbled into the room together.
Your back was pressed against the wall, his arms caging you in on both sides. His forehead was on yours, and you were able to feel his hot breath against your lips.
“Oh,” you hummed, your hands subconsciously dancing at the hem of his t-shirt. You watched his throat bob anxiously as you looked into his eyes.
It took everything in him to move away. He coughed awkwardly and then nodded toward the bed. “Come on, you need to rest.”
“Mhm,” you murmured, unable to move in a straight line. You kicked off your sandals, and pulled off your shirt with ease, leaving you only in your bra and that skimpy skirt seonghwa was looking at all night.
He watched as you walked, holding his breath without meaning to.
As you neared the bed, you reached back to unclip your bra, but you couldn't reach it. “Hwa?”
He was looking at the floor. “Hm?”
“Can you…” you paused, giving up on trying to get it off. “Take this off of me? It’s really uncomfortable.”
He blinked, his eyes wide. You couldn't see the confusion in his expression, but you heard the shakiness of his tone. “W-what? Your….bra?”
“Yeah.”
He didn't say anything else. He slowly walked over to where you were, and as his fingertips traced the middle of your back, you shivered under his touch.
He unclasped the hook, but held on to both ends of the bra, afraid to let it drop. “It’s done,” he whispered, backing up slightly.
You dropped the bra onto the floor and then reached to take off your skirt. As you slid it down your hips, you heard seonghwa nearly trip over his feet trying to turn away.
“Do you…always sleep naked?” he asked you, looking anywhere but where you were. You were way too drunk to care about what he sees, but you were also too tired to try. You fell onto the bed, your arm covering your breasts and your underwear still on.
“Fuck, y/n,” Seonghwa huffed, finally looking over and doing everything to not look where he shouldn't. He gently reached for the blanket, tossing it over you in one swift motion.
You shut your eyes tight, feeling his presence loom over you. He brushed away the stray hairs on your face and made sure you were laying on your side.
“.... I’m so screwed,” he muttered, giving you one last look before walking into the bathroom and turning on the cold water.
A cold shower, especially knowing that there was a beautiful, nearly naked girl in the bed just outside the door.
The cold water ran down his body, giving him a rush of pain.
“Fuck,” he hissed, biting his lip as his attraction to you only worsened.
—
After his attempt to cleanse his messy thoughts, Seonghwa stepped out of the bathroom, towel hanging low on his hips. He hesitated before looking over at you, and after he got a good look at your pretty face, he made his way to his luggage, rooting in there for a t-shirt to toss on.
“...seong…hwa,” you moaned.
Moaned.
“....y/n?” he whispered, maybe thinking you were awake and needed something. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but that sounded too….sensual than just a normal tone.
“I…ugh,” you groaned, “don't stop, please. H…Hwa.”
Seonghwa raised his eyebrows, dropping the clothes he had in his hands, eyes wide.
“Seonghwa….”
Okay, that was the third time. You were most definitely dreaming about him….
“Oh…my…god.” Hwa gulped, cautiously standing up and backing away as far as he could from you.
Little did he know how detailed your dream was.
—
His hands snaked up your bare hips, your legs wrapped around his waist. His lips were on your ear, biting, teeth clashing against your skin.
He thrusted into you, hard, his hips buckling as he moaned. You cried out his name, back arching, nails scratching. He fucked you hard, his forehead against yours, and his eyes rolled back into his head.
“You like that?” he whispered, his tongue sliding into your mouth before you could answer. His sweat fell on your cheek, and you moaned out his name once more. You weren't sure how you got here, how this came about, or anything. All that mattered was that you were finally with him, the man you always thought you hated.
“…hwa,” you moaned, “fuck me harder.”
And as he slammed into you with even more force than before, his lips crashed onto yours, his black hair blocking your vision. You wanted more, and more and more—
“Y/n,”
“Just shut up and keep going,” you cried out.
“Y/N!”
You shot awake, gasping for air as your back hit the headboard. You breathed heavily, realizing that you were dreaming about all of that and that the real seonghwa was standing in front of you, shirtless, with an expression you weren't quite sure you’d ever seen before.
“Seonghwa, what—”
“S..stop it. Don't say my name,” he stuttered, looking anywhere but your body. He quickly tossed a t-shirt at you—his t-shirt. “Just put this on. The guys are down getting breakfast, so we gotta go.”
He quickly walked to his own luggage and grabbed a shirt for himself. You watched him as he tossed it on and slid on his shoes, and with one last awkward glance at you, he left the room in haste.
You were too scared to look down, hoping that you still had underwear on. You weren't too sure if that was a dream or not, but given the way he acted, it made you even more confused.
You felt the wetness between your thighs, clenching them with a sigh. You stood up, tossing on the bra that was laying on the floor as if it was thrown off of you.
After cleaning yourself up a bit, you made your way to the breakfast area on the first floor, immediately noticed by Hongjoong. “There you are! I was worried you weren't going to—” he stopped, noticing the shirt that was way too big on you. “That’s the shirt I got Hwa….”
Seonghwa cleared his throat, shoving a bagel into his mouth to distract himself.
You ignored him and sat down across from him and next to Mingi. You looked up, meeting eyes with the man you thought so filthily about, seeing a swipe of cream cheese on the bottom of his lip. You held back, knowing that it’ll just send you into another spiral if you pointed it out.
But when he stuck his tongue out to lick it off, you felt the tingle in your stomach once more, thinking back at the dream you had, and how his tongue caressed you in more ways than one.
He met eyes with you, his lips parting slightly. His gaze was much different than it ever has been. You've never seen him so….lost. His expression was conflicted, his eyes not leaving your lips.
Wooyoung smirked. “Did you guys fuck or something? What’s with the mood?”
“Wooyoung!” Hongjoong yelled.
“What? I’m just pointing out the obvious,” he shrugged.
“We didn't. Keep dreaming,” Seonghwa muttered lowly, taking another bite of his bagel.
Hongjoong huffed. “I don't want to imagine my sister and seonghwa in that way…that’s super weird.”
“Why?” seonghwa questioned, his tone serious. You looked at him, confused as to why he cared. It seemed like everyone else was just as confused as you. “Ahem, I mean…uh, is it that hard to imagine?” Seonghwa’s voice was shaky, his gaze hopping from Hongjoong to you.
It made your brother laugh. “Well, yeah. You guys hate each other, right?” he took a sip of his coffee before continuing. “It makes no sense for you to even see eye to eye, I couldn't imagine you two in any type of relationship. Maybe her and Mingi, out of everyone.”
Seonghwa dropped his bagel face down onto his plate. “Why Mingi? What’s so special about—”
“I’m right here guys….” Mingi tried to interrupt, but Seonghwa shot him a dangerous glare, causing the gentle giant to hold his tongue.
Hongjoong looked around at the boys awkwardly and picked up his fork to continue eating his eggs. “I’m just saying.”
This was too awkward. You kept stealing glances at Hwa as if he were a magnet. You assumed he felt similarly, because every time you looked, your eyes would meet, and then you would awkwardly stare for a moment too long before looking away.
And when he got up to get more food, you got up, too.
“We need to talk,” you whispered, coming right up next to him as he put a muffin on his plate. “Why are you acting weird?”
He sighed and continued to add food to his plate. “I’m not acting weird.”
As he moved to get a drink from the drink machine, you continued to follow him. “Did I do something wrong yesterday?” you gasped, holding a hand over your mouth as he still ignored you. “Did I kiss you? Dear god, I hope not—”
“No, you didn't,” he said quietly, walking back over to the table.
“Something must have happened, seonghwa—”
He stopped, nearly causing you to bump into his back. “Don't.” he paused, taking in a sharp breath, looking over his shoulder at you. “Don't say my name.”
You frowned in confusion, watching the muscles in his back move as he walked away. You couldn't remember your antics yesterday, but maybe you made him uncomfortable by sleeping nearly naked���he hated you, so you could only imagine how irritated he was.
“Listen, if it was because I was naked, I'm sorry—”
Everyone at the table looked up as you spoke, including seonghwa. He looked shy, a blush on his cheeks, and he sat down quickly and stuffed the muffin in his mouth.
“Naked?” Mingi laughed, looking from you to seonghwa suggestively. “Sounds awfully smutty, Seonghwa.”
“We didn't—” he groaned, running a hand down his face. “Nothing happened with us.”
“Mhm, okay,” San smirked. “Whatever you say. Anyway, we have a whole day out planned, so you two better get back to your normal selves or we won't have any fun.”
You really needed to talk to seonghwa, but it seemed like you'll be busy the whole day with the boys—and he didn't seem to be very interested in talking to you, anyway.
You tilted your head in curiosity.
“What are we doing?”
—
The day was eventful.
First, you went to the beach. Seemed innocent, until Seonghwa took off his shirt and got all soaking wet, sending you in a mess of thoughts and a mess below. He would look over at you, and wouldn't look away, paying intense attention to your body in a skimpy little bikini.
When you went to talk to him, he body-slammed you into the ocean, and normally you would've fumed, but this time, you enjoyed his hands on your bare skin.
After the beach, you walked along the boardwalk of shops and lots of food. You grabbed a popsicle, licking it without a thought, but when you felt an intense pressure on you, you looked over to see seonghwa looking at you with an expression you've never seen on him. His eyes were focused on your lips, his own lips curled up as he bit them. You continued to eat your popsicle, but couldn't stop looking at him.
When you tried to bring up last night, Hongjoong came over and took the rest of your pop, running away from you like a child.
At dinner, you sat at the far end of the table, as far away as possible from Seonghwa. It wasn't intended, but now there was no way you could talk, as everyone would hear your conversation.
You ate, feeling defeated. Maybe you should just forget about it.
It was still daylight after dinner. As the guys conversed about what to do next, San and Wooyoung decided to go their own way and walk the beach, which was just their code word for “shopping” for girls. Hongjoong agreed with them, shocking you since he was always hell-bent on not going off a schedule. You assumed he was just going to meet that girl he was with yesterday, but whatever, it just meant that you could be left alone with Seonghwa.
After those three left, it was only you, Seonghwa, and Mingi. Hwa stood with his hands in his pockets, awkwardly looking around as you stood outside the restaurant. Mingi was even more awkward, looking at you before speaking.
“Um, I’m just gonna go with Woo and San, so,” he breathed, looking to seonghwa now. “I’ll see you guys back at the hotel tonight.”
“Okay, Mingi,” you smiled. “See you later.”
You watched him leave and then looked at the boy standing next to you.
“So,” you tried to initiate conversation, but seonghwa started walking in the opposite direction from where everyone else went. You followed. “What should we do?”
“I’m going surfing,” he said blandly. “I don't know about you, though.”
“I’ll come with you,” you smiled, finally catching up to him. He let out an aggravated groan as you walked close to him. “Do you even know how to surf?”
He scoffed. “Yeah, of course, I do.”
“I’m just saying,” you noted, shrugging as you followed him. “You’re too….dainty. I feel like if you fell off you’d break every bone in your body.”
Seonghwa didn't react in any way you were hoping he would. Instead, he kept walking silently, until you reached the part of the beach where the surf shack was. Wetsuits were laid out, ready to be picked up, and surfboards stood tall through the sand and against the building. You stared in awe as you approached, seeing that there was no one else here but you two.
Finally, alone at last.
“Grab a suit if you’re gonna do this,” he pointed to them, raising an eyebrow when you stood there anxiously. “What? Don't you know how to surf?” he mocked.
You kicked at the sand, your hands behind your back. “Pff. yeah, of course, I….no. I don't.” you pleaded with your eyes sweetly, despite all of the dirty things you wanted to do to him. “Could you please teach me? Pretty please?”
He held his own suit close to his chest as he looked down at you. “Why should I?”
You stepped closer to him, causing him to step back cautiously. “Because I’m pretty?”
“Oh honey, who lied to you?” he joked.
“Please, Seonghwa?” you stressed his name, hoping to break him. You watched his eye twitch as you said it, reminding you of earlier when he told you not to say his name.
“Seonghwa seonghwa seonghwa seong—”
“Okay, fine! Jeez,” he huffed, tossing you a suit, only for it to hit you in the face. “Get dressed.”
You walked into the shack with him, going your separate ways at the locker rooms. Everything went smoothly until you tried to zipper the suit up, only being able to get it halfway. You pondered on asking seonghwa for help or completely turning into a contortionist, but after failing to do it yourself, you gave up and left the room to ask him.
Seonghwa stood amongst the surfboards, his lean body looking delicious in that surf suit. You nearly drooled looking at him.
“Hey,” you started, slowly approaching him as he picked out a board. “Can you help me zipper this?”
He turned to you, his expression conflicted as he saw you. You turned around, showing your exposed back, causing him to clear his throat. “O..okay.”
His delicate fingers brushed against the skin of your back, nearly causing you to shiver. You felt his breath hit the back of your neck as the zipper moved up and up until he zipped it completely.
“....There,” he said, swallowing. “You’re all good.”
He didn't move his hands until you pulled away from him, turning back around to face him. The silence was deafening, so you decided to break it.
“Seonghwa, about last night, what exactly happened—”
“Let’s just get started before the sun goes down,” he interrupted, looking anywhere but your eyes. “We’ll talk later.”
That was good enough for now. You watched him try to pick out a board, but he seemed extremely nervous. After a good bit of time, he grabbed a pink one, causing you to smile. Pink suited him so much, more than he’d probably like to admit.
“Let’s start with some basics,” he spoke smoothly, tossing the board down onto the sand. “Get on it. On your stomach.”
You lay down on the board, looking up at him for more directions. He taught you how to paddle with your arms, explaining that you'll have to dive under the waves sometimes if you were okay with doing that. You couldn't look weak now, especially not to him. So after the little training lesson, you were finally in the shallow water, sand already in every nook and cranny of you.
“Try to keep balance,” he said, his voice raspy. It wasn't the time to turn you on, but of course, he could do it just by his voice. “Keep your chest up.” his hand caressed your back, down your spine.
You looked up at him, his wet hair dripping down his face. You held back, as much as you could, from pouncing on him.
But when you fell off the board and got stuck underwater, you’ve never seen him so concerned before.
He grabbed you under your arms, pulling you back up and holding him to you while you coughed. You were perfectly fine—maybe a little too much water in the ears, but it was the least of your worries. What you cared about was the look on his face and the way he caged you to his body.
“y/n?” he rushed his hand over your face, pushing away your drenched hair so he could see you. “Are you okay?”
You coughed, blinking away the salt that infiltrated your eyes. Seonghwa noticed your distress and gently rubbed your face with the pad of his thumb.
“Don't rub your eyes,” he pushed your hand away, still not letting you go from his embrace. “You'll make it worse.”
“It hurts,” you mumbled, causing his look of worry to worsen. True, the salt started burning your eyes, but you couldn't get enough of his caring touch—maybe because he’s never shown this side of himself to you.
He took in an anxious breath as he looked around. “Maybe we should get back to the hotel,” he spoke softly, the sound of water filling your senses as you looked at him.
Everything about his appearance aggravated you—from the way his midnight hair draped his face, dripping with water down his cheeks, to the way his normally judgemental eyes seemed gentle and sweet. He looked kind, the type of man who would worship his lover like a queen, and all the time knowing him, you tried your hardest to only see him in a negative light.
Now, as he held you in the cold, sparkling ocean as the sun was setting, all you saw was your reflection in his eyes and all you felt was the undeniable pull to be with him. To touch him. To kiss him. To tell him that maybe, just maybe, you’ve always had a piece of him in your heart.
“Seonghwa, I…” you paused, ignoring the burn from the salt water. You watched his lips as they slowly parted, his eyes wide as he picked you apart. They looked at you differently, like they never looked at you before, and you wanted him to never stop looking at you.
The distance between the two of you was nonexistent—you saw every drop of water on his skin, and you were certain he was able to gather the meaning behind your gaze. If he did, he didn't say anything—he only looked back at you with those entrancing irises of his, a look you’ve never seen from him. He waited patiently for you to finish your sentence, but you had nothing else to say.
As your lips neared his, you heard his breath get caught in his throat, and you felt his embrace tighten around you. You closed your eyes, taking in the feeling, hoping that he would be the one to lean in and meet your lips.
He didn't.
Instead, his hands trailed down your back, the pink surfboard still floating next to you despite being forgotten. His breath was shaky as he touched you, but the moment ended too quickly as he shook himself out of his trance.
“I um, we should, you know,” he nodded towards the beach, even though you weren't too far out. “We should get back to the room.”
You slowly blinked at him, watching his expression stay the same despite the change of mind. He coughed, letting go of you, but then he grabbed your hand and the board before pulling you to shore.
The walk back was quiet. He didn't let go of your hand until you got back to the surf shack, and he reluctantly let go knowing you had to change.
You both were silent as you looked at each other, but the ache in your chest convinced you to break this tension.
Before you entered the changing room, you quickly turned back around to face seonghwa, who still stood with that….sex-charged expression on his face.
“….Stop looking at me like that,” you hummed, your chest heavy as he breathed in deeply. He looked at you with those bedroom eyes of his, half of his wetsuit already off. He looked deadly, which didn't help your desire.
He swallowed hard but tried his best to remain calm. “Like what?”
You took a step closer, reaching back to your zipper to pull it down just a little. You shrugged it down your bare shoulders, making sure he got to know that there was nothing else but you under that wetsuit once again.
And when you got as close as you could, you said the words you knew would be life or death for him.
“Like you want to fuck me,” you shrugged, acting all cool even though you were falling apart by the second. You were lucky you were at the surf shack at such a late time of day, and that no one else was here except you.
He choked on air, stepping away from you until his back hit the wall. You noticed how his chest rose and fell as he breathed in, and how delicious it would be to just lick him all over….
“I…” he gulped, but his eyes lingered on your shoulders and the curve of your breasts. “I don't know what you mean?”
You smiled through your haze, mind focused on getting to the bottom of his sudden change of attitude towards you. You reached out, gently guiding your hand down the plain of his chest, down his slim, but muscular waist. Oh, you couldn't get enough of him already.
You smirked. “Then tell me why you’ve been eye fucking me all day, or at least what happened last night, so I can understand.”
He blinked fast, looking from your lips, down your neck, to your bare shoulders.
“You…” he took in a sharp breath as your hands trailed down his body. “You sleeptalk.”
“I know that already,” you whispered, looking into his captivating gaze.
He leaned forward slightly, veins popping in his neck as he strained against his judgment. “I mean, you…kept moaning my name. I…I couldn't take it anymore….I can't take it anymore. Every time you speak I just want to fucking shut you up with my mouth for fucks sake.” he huffed, subconsciously gripping your hips as he grits his teeth. “You so annoying, so damn annoying, I can't—”
“Then take me,” you spoke against his lips. “Fuck me. Just like you did in my dreams.”
His forehead pressed against yours as you pushed him further against the wall.
“And how did I do that?” he growled, his fingertips tugging at your wetsuit. “Was I rough? Gentle?” he paused, lips pressed to your neck. “Did I make you say my name, or was that all you with that filthy little mouth of yours?”
You couldn't speak as his lips glided down your neck to your collarbone. He sucked on the skin there, roughly, causing you to suck in a sharp breath and run your hands through his dripping-wet hair.
You moaned, biting his earlobe. “I want you to tear me apart.”
He smirked against your skin, his eyes finally meeting yours.
“Rough it is, then.”
Without warning, he bit his lip hard as he pulled your wetsuit right down to your ankles, the water from his hair dripping onto your bare shoulders. He nearly growled as you stood in front of him, naked as ever, his gaze darkening before gripping the back of your neck to pull you to him.
As he sucked on your neck, you pulled down his suit with aggression, not quick enough for the hunger in both of your souls. His hot breath tickled your skin, his hands clawed at your hips, and his lips begged to kiss yours as you shoved him against the wall once again, skin on skin. He breathed heavily, his eyes dancing from your breasts to your waist, to your lips.
You gripped onto his hair, staring into his eyes for a moment before you locked your lips with his, tasting the saltiness of the ocean and the sweet warmth of his saliva. Your tongues fought for their lives, dancing as you deepened the kiss. Foreheads slamming, hands invading space. It was all over for your sanity the minute his long fingers glided against your core, his middle finger finding your clit and rubbing gently. His kisses were rough as his fingers delicately touched you, fueling the fire within you even more than it already was.
“Seonghwa,” you moaned against his ear, causing him to move his hand faster with a grunt. “Push them in me.”
He hissed, his eyes rolling back into his head as he pulled his hands away for a moment, only to suck his fingers in front of you before shoving them into you, curling them up inside you. You arched your back against him, crying out as his lips found yours once again.
He kissed you deeply as he made love to you with his hands, his fingers long enough to reach deep inside of you—but it wasn't enough. You bit his lip sharply as he fingered you, causing him to hiss in pleasure. “I need your cock in me. Now.” you licked his jawline, watching him squirm in your embrace.
His cheeks were flushed red as he looked at you, his eyes looking as if he were intoxicated. “I…fuck,” he sucked in a breath, kissing you as his fingers moved faster and faster. “Okay.”
As he pulled his fingers out of you, he licked them once more, his eyes on yours seductively.
“You taste so good.” he moaned, his mouth parted. He then lifted you up, walking you over to the table of waxed surfboards in the middle of the room. Shoving everything off with one hand, he threw you onto the wood, causing you to let out a little grunt.
“You’re so sexy,” he leaned over you, slamming your hands above your head before silencing your moans with a rough kiss. “So fucking sexy, you have no idea how long I wanted to shove my dick inside you.” His words were like gasoline to your fire, causing you to cry out in a whimper for him to do exactly what he said he would do. You kept your mouth shut as he tugged you to the edge of the table, lining up his hard-on to enter you.
After a look of longing, he spit onto his fingers and rubbed them onto his cock and your heat, his chest falling and rising with his heavy breathing. He then buried himself inside you, deeply, causing your breath to hitch. He was even bigger than your dreams, tearing apart your expectations of his skills. You tried your best to free your arms from his hold, but as he moved in and out of you, you had lost the desire to escape it. You really liked the feeling of his fingernails tearing into your skin.
“Ah,” he whimpered, his hips rocking quickly, his eyes shut tight. His thrusts were deep, not slowing down for a second.
Your legs curled around his shoulders, his one arm holding your hands and his other piercing into your ankle. He grunted as he pumped into you, tearing at your insides, feeling him fill you up. “Hwa,” you groaned, back arching in pleasure. “Harder. Fuck me harder.”
He grunted in response, speeding up faster as his hips slammed into yours. You felt him quiver inside you, precum dripping into you without a care. You loved the feeling, you didn't care about the risks in the moment.
You climaxed without warning, your legs tightening around his head. He kept muttering your name over and over again against you, kissing the skin of your ankles as he continued to fuck the living shit out of you. You started to see stars as he nearly cracked your spine, and right before he nearly came, he flipped you over onto your stomach without ever leaving you.
Your face was shoved against the wood of the table, the sweet smell of sex enveloping your senses. You cried out his name as he gripped onto your hips, moving faster as his own orgasm came close. His lips met the small of your back, his fingers gripped your ass with haste.
“I’m going to come,” he mumbled, his voice raspy. “Can I come in you?”
“Yes,” you breathed. “Come inside me.”
As if your words stirred something within him, he immediately moved in shorter movements, his grip on your ass tightening as his orgasm came. His breathing shallowed as he came into you, filling you up with his cum. You let out one last moan as you felt his warmth, and he kissed the back of your neck as he finished.
He pulled out of you slowly despite how rough he was—he could've been rougher, but you didn't want him to think of you as the insane slut everyone thought you were.
Even though you only ever slept with others because you couldn't have him.
And now…..what comes next?
He helped you sit back up to a normal position, and when he saw the dark, purple bruises on your neck and collarbone, he gasped. “Oh, I’m sorry,” his fingers gently brushed against your hot skin as if he didn't just totally destroy you. “I kind of….went crazy, didn't I?”
You smiled up at him in a daze, both your cheeks blushed in embarrassment and enjoyment. “I like crazy.”
He paused, standing proudly in front of you with that delicious body of his. You sighed in contentment, a lazy smile on your lips. “I dreamt of this. Literally.” you reached out to him, pulling his lips down to yours. He kissed them softly, opening his mouth wide as he made out with you. You didn't want to pull away, but as the thought of you both having sex in a public surf shack came to your mind, you pulled away quickly, startling him.
“Um, so,” you laughed awkwardly. “Should we head back now? We are kind of in a public place….”
Seonghwa looked around, smirking as he leaned forward on the table, kissing you once more. “It was kind of thrilling, not gonna lie.”
You leaned into his embrace, his hands caressing your back romantically. “So,” you whispered against his lips. “We should get back. And this time, you better sleep in the bed with me.”
“Oh, baby, I plan on doing more than just sleeping.”
—
After countless rounds of ‘sleeping’, you ended up waking up late in Seonghwa’s embrace, his lips pressed against the curve of your shoulder as he held you. He quite literally rocked you all night long, and you even discovered his love for reverse cowgirl—making him come within two minutes of the fifth round.
Now, as you lay in his arms while he slept, you finally felt content. He was all you ever wanted, even though your words said otherwise this whole time of knowing him.
“Hey,” you turned around in his embrace, pressing your lips against his forehead. “Seonghwa.”
“Hm?” he grumbled sleepily, his eyes blinking open to meet yours.
You smiled, running a hand through his messy hair. “We should get up. The others are probably waiting for us in the lobby.”
“Ugh, why?” he groaned, holding onto you tighter. “ I don't want to leave this bed today. Or ever.”
You giggled, pecking his lips. “Come on, Hwa. I really would like to get a tan on the sand today.”
His eyes were wide open now, but he blinked slowly from his sleepiness. “We barely got any sleep,” he huffed, shoving his head into your shoulder. “And I can't kiss you in front of everyone, I can't wait the whole day to touch you.”
You grinned chaotically.
“Who says we have to hide it?”
—
“Dear lord,” Wooyoung huffed, sitting with his arms crossed at the beach. “Are they ever going to stop and come up for air?”
Your friends sat on towels on the sand, while you sat on Seonghwa’s lap as you made out with him. His hands gripped your face as he stuck his tongue in your mouth, both of you having no care for those around you.
“I knew this was going to happen,” San mumbled with a smirk, elbowing Wooyoung playfully. “Just let them have their fun. It’s been a long time coming.”
“Pfft,” Woo scoffed, looking at how seonghwa touched you.
“I always thought I would be the one tapping that.”
“Wooyoung shut the fuck up.”
#ateez#ateez smut#ateez fanfic#ateez seonghwa#park seonghwa#seonghwa#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa smut#roomates#vacation au#ateez masterlist#enemies to lovers#fwb#wooyoung#San#mingi#Hongjoong
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for 1k.. mtl likely to completely melt when u go into subspace and say "thank you" after your orgasm? 💤
member — svt ot13 x gn reader genre — mtl, fluff (18+) word count — 1.3k (each member has a paragraph) warnings — subspace (reader), just aftercare but there’s allusions to having sex (not explicitly described), implied that svt are dom/reader is a sub, all are gn except shua's uses “good girl” as a nickname notes — requested by @junhuisms for my 🐈 1k event — this has been in my inbox forever i'm sorry nhdnsjs. honestly i feel like all of them would melt but in slightly different ways so i did a little blurb for each. i hope you enjoy! <3
most
1 - seungcheol
this man is the biggest simp on the entire planet and he would be so so good at taking care of you. i think it’s about 50/50 the amount of time he spends as a hard dom and a soft dom, but regardless of what activities you get up to he is the best at making sure you always feel good. he would melt the hardest on the nights he’s been a little meaner and a little rougher, because how can you be so sexy and so adorable at the same time, especially after you just came four times from his mouth alone? it boosts his ego so much not only that you trust him with all of yourself, but that you love him enough to say thank you afterwards? his day is made. his week is made. his whole year is made.
2 - seungkwan
he is absolutely obsessed with you. his reactions are always big whenever he's around you because he's so in love with you; you could be doing the most mundane thing in the world and he'd react like you just saved a burning building full of orphans and solved world hunger. he’ll melt over literally anything you do, but especially when you get that dopey smile on your face after you cum because your pleasure is his pleasure so your reactions only make him melt even more. he gets so caught up in how cute you are, he’d probably end up falling asleep with you tucked in his arms and forget to clean up.
3 - joshua
he thinks you’re just so adorable. most of the time he enjoys a little pushback when he’s fucking you; being a brat tamer is what gets him off, so he’s always making you beg him to let you cum. but he can never tease you for very long, especially on the times when you decide to be well behaved, so of course he has to reward you for being such a good girl for him. he lives on giving and receiving praise so he’d be thanking you too for letting him take care of you like this.
4 - mingyu
he completely melts. literally reduced to a puddle on the floor or the bed. he would get the biggest puppy eyes and be so pouty because he’s so whipped and he believes you shouldn’t ever have to do any work. he’s the one who needs to be thanking you, actually, because he's so honored that someone as beautiful and perfect as you decided to choose him of all people. he will give you anything and everything you could ever need because he doesn't want you to have a single care in the world, especially when you're being so sweet clinging to his arms. he may not be perfect but he's going to try his damn hardest to make sure he truly earns your thankfulness.
5 - jun
he’d start smiling and giggling, and he wouldn’t stop until you came back out of subspace. he would also get super clingy and hold you close to his chest and stroke your hair and grin uncontrollably. he’d give you the sweetest “you’re welcome” you’ve ever heard and just keep praising you for being so darn cute. he is the snuggliest boy and his aftercare would be the softest and best part of the whole experience.
6 - hoshi
everything about him is intense, especially when you’re in subspace. he fucks you hard and loves you even harder, so when you thank him after your orgasm it would make him so happy and he’d love you even more than before (if that’s even possible). he thinks your reactions are the cutest thing in the world and once you come out of that headspace he’d be begging for another round just so he can see you like that again.
7 - jeonghan
he’d mostly be cocky and proud of himself for making you feel so good, but deep down he'd be so giddy about your reaction. he doesn’t always explicitly say it or show it, but you’re so precious to him and all he really wants is for you to be satisfied and happy. he would absolutely tease you later about thanking him, but inside he’d be blushing and hoping it’s something that’ll become a habit of yours. he’s a fiend for praise and would want to get you there all the time.
8 - seokmin
he has hearts and stars in his eyes for you on a normal day, so it’d only increase when you’re in subspace. he’d get all blushy and embarrassed and tell you not to worry about it because it’s his job to make you feel good, so there’s no need to thank him. he’d wrap you up in blankets if you’re too cold and he’d put a cool washcloth on your forehead if you’re too hot and he’d coo over you with the purest little smile on his face.
9 - minghao
he gets so soft and he would be so gentle with you. even if he'd been a hard dom earlier, he'll flip on a dime as soon as he notices you in subspace. the responsible dom in him comes out and he tries not to dwell on how cute you look because instead he's busy making sure you’re feeling comfortable and safe and loved, bringing you water and helping you calm down. he’d melt at your reaction, but in more of a protective way because he’s not gonna let anything happen to his baby.
10 - wonwoo
he wouldn’t not be into it exactly, but he wouldn’t have as much of a big reaction as the other members. he’d mostly be proud of himself for being able to satisfy you so well, and he’d be ready to give you whatever else you asked for or what you needed. he knows what his job is and he does it well. he smiles when he thinks you're not looking or when you aren't paying attention and the sight of you makes him feel warm inside.
11 - woozi
he wouldn't melt so much as he would just be fond of you. he’d smile at you, let you rest on his lap and play with your hair until you come back to him. he's usually quiet, not making a lot of noise unless you ask him to, but when you tell him “thank you” he'll hum and blush a little to let you know he's listening and that he appreciates you.
12 - chan
he would love it when you go into your subspace, but at the same time i think he would get a little panicky. it’s a lot of responsibility to take care of you when you’re so vulnerable, and he would be so focused on that that he’d forget to think about his own feelings. he would still adore you and how cute you are, but it would be more at the back of his mind.
13 - vernon
quite honestly i don't think he'd even notice when you're in subspace. looking back later he might realize you were suddenly acting a little calmer and a little clingier, but he wouldn't treat you any differently than he normally does. he loves you and thinks you're cute all the time, why would he be any different now? he's just happy to be along for the ride, but he won't deny it feels good to be thanked, even if he thinks he hasn't really done much.
least
i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!
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#kvanity#kflixnet#k-labels#caratlibrary#[📮] — hard thots#[💌] — asks#[💬] — leda#[💻] — onlyhuis1k#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen scenarios#seventeen imagines#svt imagines#svt scenarios#svt headcanons#seventeen hard hours#seventeen headcanons#svt hard thoughts#svt hard hours#svt soft hours#seventeen soft hours
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Fuck ok, gather 'round it's time for another fic idea spinning off of a crumb from my last post ab time traveling team Ro into founders era:
Summary:
Fact 1; Kakashi is now 3 weeks the last living Hatake.
Fact 2; Tobirama Senju, according to dusty old scrolls Kakashi finds in his father's study, was apparently half Hatake himself.
Lonley and hurting, Kakashi grabs on to this fact with both hands and squeezes it so tight to his aching heart that his hands bleed.
Or, still processing his father's suicide, Konoha's favorite baby genius finds out he's distantly related to history's favorite baby genius and immediatly starts projecting to cope.
Digging through old journals, history books, Kakashi begins to try his own hand at the man's favorite past time; creating jutsu's. It's the both the hardest thing he's ever done and the most satisfying to date.
Ft.
1) Weirdly chill scene with Danzo (fuck that guy but hear me out) where he kinda looks at Kakashi and sees the hint of the shadow of the man who taught him. Not quite there yet, not fully, but crumbs of it. Enough to make him nostalgic, and enough to hand over an old journal that used to belong to Tobirama.
A calculated risk, he tells himself.
An unspoken challenge, both Danzo and Kakashi understand.
He wants to see how far Kakashi can go, finds himself almost eager to see how close he can come to the shadow of the man he seems so determined to chase.
(and if this side project temporarily distracts him for long enough that Orochimaru slips through his fingers, well, it's not like he knows it was this event specifically that caused that plan to fall through)
2) The fact that, both due to time and the Hatake clan's less than stellar reputation during the warring states era, Tobirama's Hatake ancestry got buried. Kakashi finding him on a dusty old family tree has ✨️political implications✨️ for Kakashi specifically. Ones he isn't all too interested in — unless it means he might be able to access things he otherwise wouldn't've.
Also just general fun surprised Pikachu faces from some people as an added bonus.
3) Kakashi becoming even more terrifying than he rightfully should be at that age !! Danzo pretty much handed him a missile and went "lmao good luck" with that journal! He should not have that! He's learning things! He is experimenting! Someone take the missile away from the baby before he learns how to make his own— oh fuck it's too late hes somehow made a nuke instead
4) Orochimaru poking Kakashi with a stick and vice versa. They are making baby genius <--> baby genius eye contact it's mildly concerning, Minato is concerned. Obito is jealous, he wishes the Snake Sannin would poke HIM with a stick
5) Kakashi bites someone. That's it that's the bullet point I just think he should get to bite someone is all.
And more !!! Im ngl I think I like Tobirama just existing in the fic as as an ever present shadow, super influential in just every single chapter but never actually present. But I won't lie if I'm giggling over the thought of Kakashi finding Edo Tensei and going ".... ok but what better way to figure out this new jutsu / seal than to ask the source directly."
Orochimaru would so help he's having too much fun with this to bother experimenting on children for Danzo. Don't talk to him rn he's having fun with corpses!! No not the corpses you asked him to have fun with, the other ones!
#birds fic talk#naruto#kakashi hatake#hatake clan#hatake clan lore#naruto clan lore#warring states period#warring states era#dogteeth kakashi#tobirama senju#senju tobirama#hatake kakashi#kakashi#tobirama#danzo shimura#kid kakashi#hatake tobirama#obito uchiha#minato namikaze#orochimaru#snake sannin
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FIC RECS: Tore apart my sanity edition
Missed doing those, especially that the brilliance of this fandom is quite endless. You'd think you've read everything, then a fic comes and makes you stare two ceilings above. I think we all have PhDs in ceiling reading at this point.
1. through storm and hellfire by @prattery.
Look, I know I scream a lot about fics, but this time it's so rightfully, I swear. There is something about this one that just unravels you so fully, so reverently. It was a spiritual experience; reading this fic. Anything written by this author is a spiritual experience. If you're new to my blog, you will soon know that I fall apart for such beautiful prose so easily. And the way Arthur was written here.. holy lord in the sky. I haven't survived this fic as of yet (weeks later). It was not Merlin who got kidnapped here; it's our literal hearts.
2. you hold a knife at my throat (i tell you exactly where to cut) by @nextstopparis.
All I can say is that I found this one on the night of my final MA exam and risked failing because I stayed up till dawn reading it. And guess what? I'd do it a hundred times over. Because this fic killed me 🤩 With a knife knowing exactly where to cut 🤩
Whenever it's Protective!Arthur that is as much consumed by Merlin's safety as Merlin was with his, then know I am absolutely and utterly gone. And everything that comes with Arthur teaching Merlin how to wield weapons and its close proximity trope. Oh boy. I was literally killed, I'm telling you.
3. Of Course Falling in Love is Awful. Why Else Would They Call It a Crush? by watchriverdale.
Respectfully, how does this marvel of a fic have less than a thousand reads?? If I may, it's one of the best AU - Canon Divergence that I've read in so long! Merlin being an actual physician, Arthur making silly excuses to go visit Merlin and it ending up for him falling head over heels, BAMF elements of both, just everything! Absolutely AMAZING. And the full circle at the end; what an icon.
4. The Walls of Camelot by spqr. (@andthepeople)
I'm literally not joking when I say my brain function grew and developed more after reading this fic. It was so fully-fledged in a way you don't find in literal published books. The amount of creativity and research combined in this fic.. WOW! You just literally live the war with them, all emotions entangled, all thoughts experienced. I think I had the hardest time processing that the fic ended more than anything else because of how invested I was in the story. I didn't want it to end. It was a wonderful, wonderful ride.
5. I suppose that I look different (without the robes and crown) by WingedWolf121. (@lancelotofthelake)
You know when fic writers begin to narrate Arthur through Merlin's eyes and describe him as golden? That is what I would say as the overall feel of this fic. I felt it radiating gold and beauty. It was unmatched, truly. From the AU idea to its execution.. I was hooked all 18K. I'd give it 18K kudos of my own alone. And the way it was written !!! Please. Any Arthur who just loves Merlin a tad too much is unparalleled. And when the same energy is returned by Merlin >>>
Oh and lastly: “Ask me who you were there to me, Merlin.” I'll leave you at that.
+ 1: My heart is readily yours by yours truly.
Have I mentioned how much this one tore my own sanity apart while writing it? (yes. yes I already have like a thousand times, tell me to shut up about it already). But it's for good reason. I am a changed human being after this fic. For better or for worse, I'm still not sure about that.
#LJ recs#merlin#fic recs#bbc merlin#merthur#merlin fic#arthur pendragon#ao3#merthur fic recommendations#if you know the authors' @ on tumblr let me know so that I tag them!#regulusrules recs
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hey guys,,, so this is genuinely one of the hardest things i've had to come to terms with... i'm not good at asking for help, never have been. truth is, i was raised to be independent and as great of a quality that can be, it's also one of my greatest flaws... i would say. for a few months now i've been REALLY struggling. i was going to school and working, but work got to be so stressful, i kind of set school aside because i felt like i really needed to give work my 200%... and well i did just that. so during this time, i unfortunately lost my grandmother and i'm not going to pretend it's not one of the greatest tragedies i've ever had to face. she was such a big part of me, and losing her as been-- yeah. i still can't listen to marjorie by taylor swift. so, two week after i lost my grandmother, the job that i sacrificed so much for laid off all of it's employees with no notice. i've never felt so dispensable before, it really triggered something in me... all while also dealing with my loss and unemployment. flash forward to another 2 weeks- i got into a car accident. and well, the one thing i had paid off- i lost. now it's been 4 months, i'm unemployed, drowning in bills, unable to go back to school because i can't afford to- and i just kind of feel like the more i try to dig myself out of this hole i'm in, the deeper i fall in.
which brings me to the hardest part- asking for help, any help. advice, donations? reblogging? perhaps commissions? which i'm thinking of opening... but idek if anyone would be interested in that. i just need something... anything. i don't want to feel alone, and my birthday is coming up in a few weeks... i've never felt so low in my life. anyways--- i'm sorry about this sad story... i normally never rant like this- but i don't know what else to do.
thank you all in advance, any help is help but if you like anything that i post in this blog / gifs, icons, etc- consider ko-fi, if not... if you'd be interested in commissions- please let me know, i'll actually work on opening them here. please help me spread the word <3
#i'm sorry about this#i was just feeling really sad today#low point#i guess#please help spread the word#signal boost
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Good in a Crisis or just in Crisis?
Right, this may be the hardest of the post I wanted to write post-Monza. In fact I've been trying to think for two weeks how to word this without getting cancelled. I think though by using the events of the last two weekends I can give examples that can support my thoughts.
I'm going to start by being clear, if from my previous posts you think this is going to be an Oscar take down, it's not. Fair warning.
So really this starts with a story Nicole Piastri told in the Red Flag podcast. How when out with Oscar on a bike ride she ended up going over the handle bars of the bike. According to her, Oscar calmly and almost emotionlessly asked if she was ok? They get back home and find that the heart monitor he was wearing registered his heart rate through the roof and he had clearly been worried and panicing. But that was not what came across.
And there was the first lightbulb, Oscar doesn't seem to know how to convey his emotions or react in the way you would expect. There also seemed to be an obliviousness of anything beyond him and his immediate surroundings. (I’m not developing that any further, drawn your own conclusions).
Suddenly the myth of his mental strength, Kimi-esque cool doesn't read the same way. And as my brain can literally make me the foreshadowing, pessimistic prophet of doom at a kids birthday party, my gut feeling was, this won't end well.
Little did I know, I'd have to wait less than two weeks to be proven right.
McLaren arrived in Zandvoort with a Lando determined to make it clear he was going for the World Championship. We know what happened next. Lando takes pole and the win. Oscar finishes 4th. Fast forwarded to a Lando the media fell over itself for and a clearly unhappy Oscar in the media pen.
Thing is, this has been a regular situation this year. Lando has taken 4 poles and stood on the podium 10 out of 16 races. Oscar has been up there 5 times and his maiden win was questionable at best.
And then something seemingly insignificant to McLaren happened. Williams ditches Logan due to poor results. The team seemingly deciding he wasn't good enough and ended his F1 career.
Last weekend in Italy, we discovered how much all this is weighing on Oscar’s mind.
At the end of qualifying, Lando once again is on pole and as Oscar walked to the podium for personal effects he threw his gloves down. Lando had to go to him, he didn't go to congratulate Lando. Oscar was annoyed at missing pole again in his interview. You could see the frustration was simmering.
And then Sunday. Anyone who knows anything about racing knows what was in the best interest of McLaren. Finish lap 1 leading the field, build a gap, control the pace, use DRS to race each other.
No. Lando fully trusting Oscar to do the team thing and made no defence into turn 3 thinking he wouldn’t need to. Oscar, by his own later admission believed it was "his only way to win the race" and went for the lunge.
Was it a brilliant overtake? Yes though there was no defence put up.
Was it necessary? I think the only person who thought so was Oscar.
Did McLaren finish lap 1 first and second and go on to control the race? Nope.
Oscar had not reacted in the way anyone expected him to.
After the race the team and Lando called the move "aggressive", "risky" and "unexpected". Zak even had to concede it nearly resulted in Lando spinning. Oscar meanwhile didn’t seem to see anything wrong with what he had done.
They should have left Monza leading the Constructors Championship. Instead they still trail Red Bull by 8 points.
Ultimately with Max so far down the field it didn't really matter what order they finished 1-2. What mattered was finishing 1-2.
Post-race Oscar seemed annoyed and frustrated he hadn't made this win stick. He has risked so much and come away with slim pickings. The press afterwards didn’t get any better, taking swipes at Lance and refusing to address the question of team orders.
Ultimately we now know from the tyre data Oscar was never going to be able to make a 1 stop work, but Lando might have. The only person who was a safe bet was Lewis, but Mercedes were having their own WTF problems further down the pitlane. However from lap 1, Charles was chasing Oscar and Lando was having to keep up with them trying to salvage McLaren’s strategy.
The root of the problem was created on a sunny day in July, just outside of Budapest. By gifting Oscar the win in Hungary, McLaren have created a double headed monster.
You have Oscar who on reflection sees that having a teammate slow down for you (because you admit you can't catch them up) is a poor way to win a race when a championship isn't on the line. He wants to banish that hanging over his head as quickly as possible. Team orders are not going to help that. Chances are they will result in no real possibility of another win till 2025!
However, on that day your team promised you and they would help Lando to win a championship in exchange for said win.
And where does that leave Oscar. Frustrated. Unhappy and pegged as "mentally strong". What Oscar really needs right now is a Lando/Charles/Max esque rant and brutal critic of himself. You can see its all beginning to get to him.
In Hungary he took himself off the track a couple of times unprovoked. In Spa he went long in his pitbox. In Monza destroying the tyres to try and build a lead and then being too aggressive into the pitbox again. Because he doesn't let emotions out, they are beginning to effect what he could potentially achieve.
So how do we go forward. Firstly, for his sake, lets drop the mentally strong tag. Lando is mentally strong. He went through lockdown alone. He has driven through grief, tonsilitis, and a broken rib (yes really) on top of the nerves he freely admits. If he has a rant in the cockpit or berates himself after the race so be it. It’s better than carrying it round with you like luggage from race to race.
That's what I hope Oscar learns. Emotion in this sport is a good thing. The team is not going to dump you for admitting you fear being labelled as a contested one race winner. He may find they turn round and say we are sorry, in hindsight that wasn't fair for us to do to you. Tell them you want the qualifying stats to be more equal, they will help you improve. Apologise to the team that your actions in turn 3 were selfish, you thought they would work but you admit they cost the team. They will have more respect for you.
Secondly as fans, lets stop bigging up Oscar to a level he isn't at yet. Is he doing brilliantly for a second year driver? Yes, but his inexperience and immaturity is beginning to show. Lets embrace that as perfectly normal.
Oscar is very active on social media. He will have seen all the posts claiming he is better than Lando, he will win a championship before Lando. Yet the stats don't reflect that and I don't think Oscar feels that way right now. But he feels the pressure to be what the fans preach.
Oscar needs at least another year to be fully ready. It may take even more. There is no doubt he is a future world champion, but he’s still developing the arsenal of things he will need to do that. He just wants it’s all now, last week, last August was probably later than he wanted, but how he learns to emote and react to the highs and lows of F1 is going to be crucial.
After-all, his mechanics have only got so many toes between them.
#oscar piastri#mclaren f1#italian gp 2024#hungarian gp 2024#f1#formula one#formula 1#f1blr#long long post#longread
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The Demon Gift: Choosing Hantengu, Part 5
Demon!Slave!Hantengu X Fem!Reader
Summary: You have been living with Hantengu and his clones for a while and they are all awfully affectionate towards you.
Warnings: Cute Stuff, A Little Suggestive
A/N: Demon Slave AU, Domesticated Demons, Reader Insert, Fem!Reader, Hantengu, Master/Slave, Karaku, Sekido, Urogi, Aizetsu
Tags: @hantenguclonesimp-minuszoha, @star-dust-wanderer
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14
It had been a few weeks now since you moved to the huge house just outside the city and you and the Demons were living the dream life. With your brand-new car, you would go shopping if you needed to hoard some meat, but you were seriously thinking about maybe getting some chickens because you found them cute and you could use some eggs and meat. But you were just thinking, not ready to act on it.
Also, living with Hantengu and his clones certainly was different from living with your God-awful family. While your siblings would ridicule you and make your life a living Hell, Hantengu and others treated you with kindness that you had never felt before. They found your personality and little quirks funny and didn't judge you for them.
You also learned new things while living with Hantengu's many personalities. Despite his slight anger, Sekido was maybe the most mature one right next to Aizetsu, who was more sensitive than other clones, yet not quite as sensitive as Hantengu.
Karaku and Urogi were so similar that they tended to confuse you, but with time you were able to tell apart. And Hantengu, sweet cute little Hantengu just wanted your approval, like he needed it to live. He was honestly too cute for his own good.
Yes, having 5 Demons with you was a little hectic, but you enjoyed it and so did they. However, there were some things that rubbed you in the wrong way. Nothing serious, but right now, you were in the battle of your life.
A dance battle.
"What the actual fuck!?" You cursed as you tried your hardest to keep up with the dance instructor dancing on your huge television screen. You and the clone of pleasure were playing Just Dance, suggested to you by the Demon himself. You thought you could handle a couple of dances, but you soon found out that you weren't maybe as good at it as you thought you were.
"What, getting tired already?" The Demon asked from his spot next to you. You were maybe frowning and totally losing, but you were also still having fun.
"You're totally cheating!" You exclaimed and your outburst only amused the Demon more.
"Please, I don't need to cheat to beat your ass!" Karaku was laughing at you as he dominated the game, "I'm all natural baby!"
"Yeah, you're a natural pain in the ass!" You laughed as you raised your leg and kicked his ass, trying to throw him off his game. The only thing was that he barely moved, it was almost as if you had just tried to kick a brick wall.
As he turned to look at you and you saw that wicked grin on his handsome face, you knew you had screwed up.
"Oh, playing dirty, I see!" He cackled as he put the Nintendo's controller down and made grabby hands in your direction, "Two can play that game!"
"N- no! Please!" You stuttered as you started to back up, only to hit the back of your legs against a huge couch. With nowhere to go and escape made futile, you resorted to your last chance. Begging like your life depended on it.
"Please, Mercy!" You cried out but it was too late. Karaku bounced on you and you fell back first on the couch, the Demon going down with you.
You yelped, stunned and Karaku smirked as he used his chance to straddle your hips, pinning you down with his superior weight and strength.
"Not so cocky now, are you?" He laughed and you swallowed nervously, deciding to try begging one more time, "Karaku, please, I'm sorry! Have mercy on me!"
"Well…" He nodded slowly, "When you put it that way I could…"
"Really?" You sighed in relief like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders, "Oh, thank God-!"
"Nope!" He suddenly snapped and yanked your shirt up, revealing your bare tummy to him. Your eyes widened in shock but before you could beg again, Karaku started to trail and flick his fingers up and down your bare sides. Tickle torture, maybe one of the worst kinds of torture there was.
"KYA, KARAKU!" You screeched, as you started to laugh and scream uncontrollably. For a Demon of pleasure, he sure was good at torturing you.
"Ha ha ha, how does it feel?" He laughed as he kept tickling you and soon you were on the verge of tears, "Please…! Stop…!"
"You tried to mess with me, now I will mess with you!"
"Ka- Karaku, I- Ah- I'm begging!" You were crying now and it shouldn't have been so appealing to the Demon, but it was.
"I'll stop on one condition!" He laughed and you nodded furiously, "Yes, anything!"
"Ha ha!" Suddenly he stopped tickling you and you finally stopped laughing and crying and instead sighed in relief. Your sides felt sore and your throat ached from laughing so much.
As you caught your breath, Karaku observed you with a smile on his face, "I want my reward now."
"O- okay…" You nodded since you had promised him whatever he wanted… But then you felt your chin being gripped and your eyes snapped open, only to see Karaku's face only inches away from yours. He was so close to you, that you could feel his breathing against your lips.
"I want a kiss from my beloved Mistress…" He whispered and your eyes widened as your brains felt like they shortcircued. You just stared at him in shock and then he moved to close the gap between you two and you closed your eyes, bracing yourself for the kiss-!
"Kidding!" Karaku laughed as he pulled back and your eyes snapped open in shock. The Demon took his sweet time getting off from top of you and you pushed yourself upright.
"W- what?" You stuttered, still shocked and now confused also.
"Oh man, you should have seen your face! You are so red!" Karaku cackled as he looked at your flushed face. You pouted and started to hurl childish nicknames at him, not insulting him but certainly making him laugh.
You were being too cute, he wanted to tease you more and maybe actually get that kiss he so much wanted… But he controlled himself as he grabbed the Nintendo's controller and grinned at you, "Wanna still try and beat me?"
~~~~
Days passed and you were in a mood to bake something. Based on what you heard, Demons were able to eat human food, but it wouldn't keep them going like meat would. You had visited the city earlier that day and saw that strawberries had been on sale and you couldn't resist a good sale so you bought some flour, sugar, eggs, and cream also for your strawberry cream cake.
You hummed as you checked inside the oven where the cake was baking and took it out enough to poke the center with a toothpick. When the little stick came out clean, you knew your cake was done.
You set the cake to the side to cool down and picked the delicious red berries from the fridge, alongside a small knife that you would use to cut the berries into nice thick slices. You had so many strawberries that you could afford to make the slices a little thicker than you usually would.
As you prepared the berries, you heard something clicking against the floor and you turned to see Urogi's head peeking from around the corner. The claws on his talons usually tended to make a clicking sound as he walked inside the house. It gave you time to figure out his location before he could make a jump on you.
"Urogi?" You wondered out loud, "What brings you here?"
"I smelled something delicious and wanted to see what it was!" The Demon of Joy grinned as he walked into the kitchen to see what you were making, "What are you up to now?"
"Strawberry cream cake. Do you like strawberries?" You asked and Urogi shook his head, "Never had any."
"Would you like to try some?" You asked and the Demon grinned excitedly, "Can I?"
"Of course!" You smiled as you cut out the stem off and held the strawberry for Urogi to take it, "Here you go!"
"Thanks!" The Demon thanked you and you smiled but that smile soon turned into a blush when instead of taking the berry into his hands, he dove forward and ate it straight from your hand.
You stared at him eyes wide as he chewed and once he swallowed, he grinned like nothing was wrong, "Ooh, those taste good! Very sweet!"
"Y- yeah," You nodded as you turned to look at the strawberries in front of you, just waiting to be cut into slices so they could decorate your cake.
"Can I help?" Urogi asked and you turned to look at him in honest wonder. You didn't expect him to offer you help. You stared at him for a second before nodding, "Uh, yes, if you want to?"
"Awesome! What can I do?"
You thought about it for a second, but all you had left was to do was to slice the berries and make whipped cream, you doubted that Urogi would know how to use the electric hand mixer, no matter how simple it might have been to use one.
"Would you like to help me with the strawberries while I whip the cream?" You finally asked and he grinned excitedly, "Sure thing!"
"Good, but please wash your hands first."
"Okay!"
So you switched places with the Demon and while he had his hands washed, you got the bowl and mixer from the drawer, and the small cartons filled with cream from the fridge. You poured the specific amount of cream into the bowl, added some sugar, and let the mixer do its magic.
Making whipped cream was easy, but it tended to make a lot of noise and be a little messy. While you were mixing, you turned to glance at how Urogi was doing and saw that instead of using the knife to cut the berries, he used his own claws. You winched, making a mental note not to ask him for a massage or something that needed his hands.
Soon enough, the cream was done and the strawberries were cut perfectly. You hummed happily as you grabbed the cake and smacked a generous amount of cream on top of his, spreading it evenly before reaching for the berries and adding them one by one with your hands. Perfection tended to take time and you wanted your cake to be perfect.
"I think we are done!" You smiled as you looked at Urogi next to you, "Thank you for helping me. You can have the first slice if you want?"
"Ooh, sounds delicious!" The Demon smiled, but then he noticed something, "Oi, you have some cream on your face!"
"Oh, where?" You asked as you wiped your cheek and forehead with the back of your hand, but the Demon of Joy shook his head, "No no, let me get it for you!"
"Oh, thank you Urogi-!" You were thanking him when he suddenly leaned forward and LICKED the corner of your mouth.
You stilled and went tense as a steel rod, your face slowly turning red as the berries decorated the cake. What the heck was that about!?
"Delicious." Urogi grinned happily, "Cream also."
"I- You- What-!?" You stuttered, but before you could ask properly, the Demon took off running away.
"I'm going to let others know there is cake here!" Urogi laughed as he rushed out of the kitchen to alert his fellow clones about the delicious treat that the two of you had prepared. Though, secretly he thought of you and how good your lips looked and if you tasted like the berries.
~~~~
A couple of days later you were on a mission. To properly wash the underground bathtub. It was a huge job, but you were determined to get the whole tub cleaned and ready for use. Well, it was more like a small pool actually than a tub, but who kept count of these things?
"What are you doing here?"
You glanced over your shoulder and saw Aizetsu standing by the doorway to the room. You smiled and showed the wet soapy sponge in your hands, "Washing the tub. I don't know about you or others, but I'm dying to try it out."
"I see… May I offer my assistance to you?"
"You wanna help?" You asked and he nodded, "Yes… Unless you rather work alone-!"
"No no, I don't mind!" You smiled as you pointed at the bucket full of soap water and a sponge packet next to it, "Grab yourself a sponge and come over!"
The Demon nodded and moved to approach the bathtub, but before he could step in, you raised your hand, "Wait!"
"What is it?"
"Do you have anything to wear that you don't mind getting wet or dirty?"
Aizetsu frowned as he looked at the most simple T-shirt he had on and then at you, "I don't mind, but if you want me to change I will."
"No no, it's okay!" You shook your head and the Demon nodded as he grabbed the sponge and joined you in the tub. The two of you started to work together and you were getting pretty much done in a short time. Perks of having more people work on one project.
"I heard… I heard you have been having fun with Karaku and Urogi…" Aizetsu suddenly said and you blinked, a little confused and stunned but then you realized what he meant and you blushed.
"Yeah, nope, they were totally trolling me." You muttered as you fought against a blush that threatened to rise to your cheeks, "Bastards probably got a good laugh out of it."
"I see…" He nodded and frowned, "I apologize for their sake. They can get… Excited…"
"It's okay. You all have different personalities and I like all of you." You replied and the Demon looked at you, "You mean it? Even me?"
"Yes, even you," You smiled, "You're sweet and so thoughtful. I really like spending time with you."
Aizetsu's blue eyes widened and a soft blush rose to his cheeks, but you were too busy soaking your sponge in the bucket to notice.
"Huh, we need more soap." You thought out loud as you moved to get up, but as soon as you got your bare feet under you, you lost your balance due to a mixture of soap and water all around you.
"Yip!" You yelped and you closed your eyes, bracing yourself for an impact when suddenly-!
"Careful!" Aizetsu cried out as he dashed forward and you fell straight into his arms, but you also felt yourself get wet. One of you had accidentally kicked the bucket and now you were both soaking wet thanks to soapy water.
"Are you alright?" You heard him ask and you opened your eyes and nodded, but your eyes widened when you saw the Demon of sorrow, his shirt completely soaking wet and clinging to his very muscular body.
"Ah- I-!" You stuttered as you blushed and Aizetsu's eyes fell down and it was his turn to blush. Confused, you looked down and you were absolutely horrified and embarrassed how your wet shirt clung to your skin and showed your bras.
You looked up and noticed that you and Aizetsu were suddenly so close. Close enough that you could almost count his eyelashes.
"I- I…" You couldn't form words stuttering as you looked into each other's eyes-!
"What the Hell is going on in here!?" Came a loud shout from the doorway and you and Aizetsu both yelped and jumped apart like water on hot oil. You turned to look and saw a very angry-looking Sekido by the door.
"We- Uh- We were just-!"
"About what!? Kiss!?" The Demon of anger asked, much to your shock.
"N- No, I just slipped! Right Aizetsu?" You looked at the clone of sorrow next to you who nodded, "Yes… It was nothing…"
"Then you better get your ass upstairs Aizetsu because Karaku and Urogi are being pains in my ass and I got enough of them!" Sekido snapped as he pointed behind him with his thumb.
"I see… I'll go." Aizetsu nodded and looked at you, "Please pardon me…"
You nodded and the Demon of sorrow to up and left the basement, leaving you alone with Sekido, who turned to glare at you as soon as Aizetsu was out of earshot.
"What were you thinking, kissing one of us!?" He asked and you frowned, not really liking being yelled at.
"For the second and last time, I wasn't going to kiss him!" You protested.
"Tch, like I should believe you!" Sekido frowned, "It's like my feelings don't even matter…!"
You were pretty sure that he meant to say that quietly to himself, but you still managed to hear him. You sighed a little as you made yourself comfortable and looked at the clone of anger, "I like you Sekido. I like you just as much as I like Hantengu, Karaku, Aizetsu, and Urogi."
"You obviously favor others over me…!" He scowled, "I know you do! Everybody does!"
You wondered who these people he talked about were, but you had a bigger problem on your hands. A temperamental Demon who thought so little of himself.
"I don't." You frowned, "What do I need to do to make you believe me?"
"Nothing!" He frowned, "It's just…! You have been spinning in everyone's mind like a plague and we are only Demons, not Gods!"
"What does that even mean?" You asked and Sekido frowned and opened his mouth, ready to reply, but then he noticed that you were shivering in your wet shirt… And how your breasts were there for the whole world to see.
So instead of shouting, he frowned and reached to pull his shirt over his head. You blinked in confusion as blush rose to your cheeks, but you didn't get a chance to ask why he was stripping.
"Here!" He snapped and threw his shirt straight at your face, "Cover yourself with it!"
You were stunned, but you still accepted the shirt and as soon as you accepted his shirt, Sekido turned around to give you some privacy to change your wet shirt to his dry one. You were baffled but smiled since he was acting like a proper gentleman.
"Thank you Sekido." You thanked him as you stripped and he grunted, "Don't mention it…!"
You quickly changed the wet shirt to a dry one and crawled out of the tub, deciding that it was clean enough to be used one of these upcoming days. You were about to get up when you noticed a hand in front of you and looked up to see Sekido offering his hand to you.
"What?" He asked and you smiled a little as you accepted his hand and he helped you out of the tub. You were going to thank him, but then your eyes fell on his naked upper body and you blushed. He, just like the rest of the clones were honestly so handsome and muscular…!
"Get your mind out of the gutter…!" The Demon muttered and you flinched, startled by getting caught staring, "I- I wasn't thinking anything like that!"
"Sure you weren't…" He rolled his red eyes but then he smirked, "All you need to do to get a taste is to ask."
"I- Ah- What!?" You stuttered and you watched eyes wide as the Demon chuckled a little. You had never seen him smile let alone heard his laughter!
"Let's head upstairs. I'm hungry." Sekido grumbled as he turned to leave and you flinched out of your thoughts and quickly followed after him, "Wait up!"
~~~~
Later that night you were getting ready for bed with a small harmless Hantengu. Since he was so small, you thought he might enjoy sleeping with you instead in a big empty room alone. You had prepared him a dream bed, a huge fluffy pillow where he could rest like he was a priced diamond ring.
"What a day!" You cried out loud as you stepped out of the bathroom connected to your own bedroom, fresh out of the shower and wearing your nightgown.
"I- Is everything alright, Mistress…?" Hantengu asked from his spot on your bed, where he was waiting for you, and as you approached he made space for you to sit down.
"Yeah, just…" You sighed as you sat down and recalled stuff that had been happening these past few weeks and how affectionate the Demons had been, even Sekido included!
"I don't know, Aizetsu, Urogi, Sekido and Karaku have been a little friendlier with me than I thought was possible." You thought out loud and the small Demon whimpered since the four Demons were part of him.
"D- Do you hate it? Do you hate me…?" He asked and your heart almost broke when you heard the hurt in his voice.
"No, not at all!" You shook your head, "I love you, you're the cutest little Demon there is and so thoughtful it almost hurts!"
"But the others…?" He whimpered and you smiled, "I like them also. I'm just a little confused, that's all. No one has ever been so kind or affectionate towards me."
Yes, back at your family's home it was you against the world, but now that you were exiled and living with Hantengu and his clones, you felt like you were receiving love for the first time in your life. You didn't want to ruin it by doing or saying something stupid or what could be considered wrong.
"I really love you guys. You are way more precious to me than that wretched step-bastard of mine or his awful kids." You smiled, "I wouldn't change you guys for anything!"
"I- We-!" Hantengu stuttered as he tried to think what to say, "W- We love you also…!"
"Aww, you're such a sweetie!" You smiled as you leaned down and pecked the bump in the middle of his head and between horns, an act that took and startled the little Demon, making him yelp out loud. As you pulled back you gently lifted and placed Hantengu on his pillow.
"We better get some rest. I don't know about you, but I'm tired as heck!" You chuckled and the Demon nodded as he made himself comfortable while you turned the lights off.
"Good night Hantengu," You wished quietly and he whimpered, "S- Sleep well, Mistress…"
It took a moment, but you managed to finally fall asleep… But unknownst to you, Hantengu was watching you the whole time and once you fell asleep, the little Demon got up and jumped down from your bed to leave the room. He quickly made his way downstairs to the huge living room where his clones were already waiting for him to join them.
"Now that Mistress is asleep and the original one is here, we can talk properly," Sekido said as he helped Hantengu up and placed him on the coffee table between the couches.
"What is there to talk about?" Urogi grinned, "I like our Mistress and I want to show it!"
"Yes, her lips looked so delicious, I really wanted to kiss her!" Karaku laughed and Aizetsu nodded quietly, "Me too… I have grown extremely fond of her."
"Trust me, I know. I've seen how you all look at her!" Sekido grumbled before looking at the Demon of Fear, "What do you think, original one?"
"Terrifying…" Hantengu whimpered as he sobbed and held his head, "I- I love her, I want her… I want her so much, it's terrifying…!"
"Then it's settled!" The Demon of anger nodded, "We can't risk compromising the bonds we have built so hard with her, so we shall work out a plan for how to act and claim her as ours! Any questions or objections?"
The clones shook their heads and Sekido nodded, "Good. For now, we will act properly around her until we have a solid plan and chance to tell her, or better yet show her how we feel."
"Aww, I really wanted to kiss her already…!" Karaku pouted, and Urogi chuckled, ready to say something but then your voice came from stairs, "Hantengu? Are you there?"
"Hide!" The four Demons hid in the kitchen while Hantegu froze on his spot. You stepped into the living room and looked at the small Demon, "Hantengu? What are you doing here?"
"I- I-!" The poor Demon whimpered, "I- I got hungry… Please don't be mad!"
"I'm not mad at you for getting hungry, silly," You smiled as you rubbed your eyes sleepily, "Would you like me to chop you some meat or-?"
"N- No!" Hantengu shook his head because if you had gone to the kitchen you would have found his clones there, "I- I'm full! P- please take me back to bed, p- please…?"
"Aww, I can't say no to you," You awed as you picked up the small Demon and pressed him against your chest so you wouldn't drop him even by accident, "Let's head back to bed."
Hantengu nodded as he clung to you like his life depended on it and once you were away, the 4 clones stepped out of the kitchen.
"Man, I'm jealous!" Urogi whined and Karaku nodded, "So jealous!"
"I hope she shows such affection towards us also…" Aizetsu muttered and Sekido nodded, "Trust me, you aren't the only one…!"
#demon slayer#hantengu#kimetsu no yaiba#aizetsu#sekido#urogi#karaku#slave!au#demon slave#demon slave!AU#reader#reader insert#writing#my writing#story#my story#fem!reader#fem reader#Enjoy!
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Spread the Love Fic Recs <3
There's been a bunch of negativity lately and I think that means we as a fandom need to spread some love around. If you get tagged please add some fics that you think deserve more love, only request is that they aren't insanely popular fics (think like fics with less than 50k hits) this way we can get some other fics out there for others to read and enjoy!!
1.) Premeditation by Chromatographic (Lia)
The problem is that so few people are even able to see what the problem really is. The problem is that things that manage to find the balance on the knife’s edge of life are so, so hard to kill. The problem, Jasmine Fenton realizes, two weeks after she moves into Gotham, is one that almost no one, in any dimension or realm, is able to solve. The problem is simply put, though, even if it’s almost impossible. The problem is this: The Joker is a Halfa.
this fic has the hardcover ship (Jazz/Jason) and everlasting trio (danny/sam/tucker) it's beautifully written and keeps you on the edge of your seat as you watch the story progress. Absolutely amazing. The writing is just amazing, Chroma sucks you in with beautiful storyline that just blows my mind. And the ending is just absolutely perfect!
2.) Halves by TourettesDog
Jason wasn't sure why Dick thought it was a good idea to drag him along with Tim to Amity Park. His brother seemed to think the strange case would offer a decent opportunity to bond-- without Gotham (and Bruce) close at hand, perhaps it wasn't the worst idea he'd ever had. Unfortunately, Amity Park is far stranger than Dick anticipated, and Jason hasn't quite been himself since they arrived. Going to FentonWorks for answers was their first big mistake.
honestly one of my favorite fics atm, I just love Gothamites going to Amity Park, i'm just such a sucker for the idea and we just don't see it enough so this fic is just my dream come true!
3.) Pitch-Dark Shades by SummersSixEcho
Danny Fenton is trying to build a new life in Gotham after closing up the connections to the Ghost Zone. Not that all connections are entirely broken, still being able to perceive shades and give them strength when he connects to one of their prized objects. Tim Drake is trying to find his own place in the world, focusing on becoming a better detective by solving cold cases in his spare time. When Tim and Danny meet, a new (begrudging) partnership starts to bloom to solve even the hardest of cases. Or it would if only they told each other the truth.
I truly just love Danny and Tim together in literally any kind of capacity. They just cause so much chaos together and it's amazing. This fic is just absolutely lovely and the prose is amazing. Summers fics are truly enrapturing and just pull you in so easily.
4.) Beneath A Different Light by AKelaNakamura, SummersSixEcho, TourettesDog
When a convergent event hits unexpectedly, Damian and Danny find themselves in the last place they’d expected: In the body of the twin they’d thought long dead. With the after effects still coursing through them and danger lurking in both cities, the brothers must figure out who they can trust—all while slowly learning about the life their twin has led without them. Or, none of these bastards can catch a break.
Demon twins. Just--just Demon Twins my beloved. This fic is two chapters in and i'm just so utterly in love with it. Summers, Akela, and Dog are just a match made in heaven when it comes to cowriting a fic. The fic just yanks you in so easily and you find yourself thinking about it even after reading the fic. Just a wonderful fic!
5.) Come Little Children by Die_Erlkonigin6083
American Chestnuts were once one of the most important trees along the East Coast. The blight destroyed most of them, but not all of them. There was one chestnut tree, one that entranced a child, and then, what it wrought, enchanted an entire city or two
YALL when i tell you that the storytelling in this is absolutely breathtaking I'm serious. This fic has brought a tear to my eye because of just how beautifully it's written. It's got cool fantasy aspects to it, it's based off of an old fairy tale, it's just so amazing and it's one of my favorite fics to reread if i'm having a bad day. Just truly a lovely fic.
Now, I would like to see @halfagone @spite-sapphic-starlight @noir-renard and @midnightenigma recommend some of their favorite fics if they're willing <3333 let's spread some more love in this fandom!
also even if you aren't tagged--please feel free to recommend any fics you enjoy!!
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Hi! Just wanted to say the latest chapter is lovely & amazing & sweet & had me smiling the whole time! I absolutely love your characterisation of everyone, especially Draco, so it was so so lovely to return to this world & to his thoughts!! with his best friend and crush at malfoy manor no less! All the yearning is already off to a great start hehe I am so excited for the rest of book 5!
Wanted to ask you how has it been for you to write this new book and volume? Has your writing process changed since when you’d first begun taking on a long form project like this?
& also are there any moments or surprises in this book that you’re especially excited about?
sending so much love & gratitude for you and your incredible works 💓
Thank you so much! This is really encouraging, I so appreciate it.
Inasmuch as I can use this metaphor without having kids myself, I sort of see each of the books as a different child. The first one flew out in basically a few weeks of very intensive writing, and it was a total dream — plot, pacing, symbolism, major beats, all fell into place basically without effort. The character stuff was the hardest, as I've written about before, but even then, the glorious part of writing beginnings is it's the most energy you'll ever have for a project, so the lows were pretty soft lows. Book 2, in contrast, I had to drag kicking and screaming by its ankle from under the bottommost mattress of my brain. It's one of my least favorite books (tone problem; COS has killer plot/setting/ingredients for a YA novel, but it's stuck in the doldrums of Harry Potter's well-documented Early-Installment Weirdness, before Cedric Diggory slams the gas and upshifts the whole series into its correct age bracket). More specifically, once I'd gone through and picked out everything in the book that happened because of Lucius, I didn't have a plot — hey alexa how do you rewrite Chamber of Secrets when We Got No Fucking Chamber Of Secrets — and oh by the way, even if you want to do a moody tone/political setup book, remember that your protagonists are still twelve, so if you go too dark or too intense, you'll risk torpedoing your readers' suspension of disbelief. Good luck, Charlie.
Book 3 felt the most like its own novel, if that makes sense? It's the last truly feel-good book of the series; it's a great stand-alone mystery novel with relatively low stakes. Plus you get a bunch of the big series icons: patronuses, dementors, werewolves, Hogsmeade, the Marauders' Map, and time turners arithmancy. It just felt like a good old-fashioned motherfucking romp of a mystery/adventure story, before any of the complex character work and major stakes of the late books come in.
Book 4 was the most fun I've had writing anything maybe ever. I don't even know what it was. Maybe the tournament arc, honestly? Love me a tournament arc. But in any case, I opened every new chapter feeling a tingle of excitement for what I was gonna get to do. Oh, and the romance started, finally, Jesus God (if it feels like a slow burn reading, just imagine what it felt like writing it, when everything takes ten times as long, and you have to figure out how to word the fucker.)
Book 5, in contrast, has felt much less like that tingle of "here we go!" and more like "oh, man, this is gonna be cool." Because this is the arc of the story that composed the original idea for Lionheart, literally years ago, and to be honest, I didn't think I'd get this far! If you'd asked me "do you know that it's going to take you 500,000 words of backstory before you can start writing that concept you're thinking about, and you're going to do it anyway?" I would have said: "absolutely not, strange mind-reader!" But like... I'm here! Finally! And it's... real now? Like, this isn't just a bunch of clips of scenes in my head anymore! That's rad!
That being said, it's definitely been slower than Book 4, because I kept switching back to my outline document to make sure that certain things were set up properly, and that I hadn't lost any of the plot threads or forgotten a minor beat that was vitally important for the story three chapters later. And I had a minor crisis about three months ago when I ripped out about 8 chapters in the first third of the book — basically everything from September to December — because I'd done a readthrough to check pacing (big mistake! never edit while drafting, that's satan talking) and realized I had a missing storyline. Like, there was a whole layer of the story that was just. Missing. Not there. And the existing text really couldn't fit another thread, so instead of taking weeks to pore through and try to sift out what I could save, I needed to factory reset and start over. And I didn't want to! I vividly remember sitting there with my head in my hands, trying not to weep, because I'd decimated 90,000 words of work in a single edit. But it had to be done. Because the story wasn't going to work. And now (hopefully) it will.
And of course, there's still that sense of excitement and exhilaration from before. Always. But whereas Book 4 felt like a delicious chocolate pudding, Book 5 is a medium-rare steak.
(Book 6, so far, is four shots of espresso and a whiskey chaser. FWIW.)
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Things you can do to prep for Trump 2025!
Please keep in mind this is based off of things I'm actively doing or trying to encourage others to do. Only participate in activities and actions that genuinely bring you safety and/or joy. The most important thing right now, is staying alive.
1: Make connections
Go out and meet people! Connect with groups, friends, anyone in your community that is supportive of you and any lifestyles you have. There's going to be a horrible rise in conflict and aggression, it's best to stay together and focus on helping support each other, love will win in the end!
2:Stockpile resources
As inflation hits, discrimination rises, and people may loose access to resources, stockpile what you can afford. If you have EBT, stockpile rice, canned food, frozen things esp, and be ready to distribute if you hear about it in the community. Food banks may be allowed to deny food, same with medicine and even health products for daily living. Try getting what you need the most of, or things that are hardest to grab first. If you're staying as long as you can, keep a small bag of food near you too, that can easily be snagged.
3: EDUCATE
They love banning things, from books to expressions to people's activities. Read everything you can, get copies and make libraries. Open your mind to how other people think and feel so you can try to relate and help. Learn skills you might not have, like sewing so you can fix clothes, making your own books, ect. Read up on laws, and keep an eye on your area for warning signs. Learn about survival tactics, self defense, basically anything you might need.
4: Start programs/community
Even if it's just a small meeting once a month, start organizing events. Ask spaces to use them if you trust them, but definitely keep private, enclosed areas as a plan too. Meet as much as you can handle it, and talk about that others might need vs what you can actively do. I meet up with people once a week to drink tea and knit, and I've learned how to make clothes just by doing that. You could teach them the trick you learned on cooking something, or good ways to cope with loss/fear/dread. Support groups are important, but lgbtq focused ones need to start hiding now.
5: See a doctor
There's massive plans that will affect those in lower classes. Go to a doctor, get a check up before it all goes down. However much you usually pay, will no doubt doubly by a year in, so get what you can out of the way now.
6: passports!
Legal papers, like birth certificates, IDs, immigration documents, these can help so much! But a passport is almost certain proof for some us agencies that it may even help if they start doing harder crack downs. Some news sources also report locking down our borders down, so I'm not sure how real that's gonna be but it's best to have the documents, than having to wait nearly a month or two to get the card.
7: Save money
I know, inflation is so harsh rn, everyone is struggling to even eat it think. But it's gonna get so much worse for the lowered classes, and if you don't have a savings you need to start. Even $50 could change something for the better, or get you somewhere safer. Pull out cash if you can't trust your bank, but save as much as you can over the next few months. It's not gonna be easy, and giving up going out to eat is really hard, I miss it so much too, but you're not doing this because it's fun. You're gonna survive it, and you can control yourself.
The very worst thing one can do to their enemies, is stay alive and be happy.
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donnerkeil. part five, yandere!könig x reader
hey! sorry about the hiatus. not proofread. love you all.
mentally, he cursed you for not letting him in. he didn't care. why the hell would he? he would be too focused on you anyways. admittingly, he would've scoped out your apartment to find any thing he might wanna bring with him as a little memory of you. if he were to find your bra or panties casted aside on your bedroom floor he would try his hardest to conceal them within his palm.
his eyes got wide and almost frantically told you that your messy flat was no problem. he wish you would jump in and invite him anyways. he watched you fidget on your phone, asking again from his phone number.
which he gave you and then texting you right after. a few more minutes passed with you far too excited asking when he was free and asking könig questions about his policework.
policework? that's right. he kept his answers light responding with "its confidential". earning cute little laughs from your mouth. you wrapped up the conversation a bit worried that you were wasting his time. "i don't know what the word is english but im responsible for the entire unit and go to most calls because i'm...." he paused, trying to word in in english. he shook his head and spoke very fast in his native language "uh, i'm the top? i don't know how to say this." he laughed nervously. unbeknownst to you, both of these things were lies. his english was that of a native speaker's, hell, his english was probably better than yours. and that "police work" of his wasn't exactly as innocent and naive as he put it, the call about teenagers graffitiing buildings nor the call about the cat stuck under the family car were true. simple lies that made him look like a hero. someone to trust. how doesn't someone trust a giant that helps everyone. it tugged at your heart strings when he told you about an elderly woman that fell victim to an online dating scam- that one got you annoyed in particular, feeling enraged on behalf of some older woman that didn't exist nor did he save from wire fraud. he made all of it up to gain your trust. he wanted you to believe he was the local police chief with no hard crimes such as murder or rape to deal with. you admired this. the first outsider you meet is an older, native austrian working with the police helping and saving people.
that was charm. charming to you.
"well, if you give me a few hours i would be able to meet up tonight for drinks, im sure theres a bar nearby." you laughed as you handed his black cased phone back to him. you thought the suave was radiating off you, asking him out so calmly without fidgeting or shaking. you'd be thinking about him all day.
könig didn't want to wait. he wanted to push you back in the door where you'd fall on your ass and struggle to get up to defend yourself. even if you kicked and shoved you would be no match for his taller and bulkier frame. you were short and petite, without a weapon you were a frail mouse with no defense. even if locks were on the doors, he had a bobby pin laying about. he made a mental note of the locks and if needed, how he could make his way in.
not now. and not tonight. he would have to give it a few weeks for the chemistry to brew and bake until you felt comfortable with him. he knew his physique in itself was intimidating- which he loved to use to his own advantage.
"yes, of couse! although i have to be in the office early tomorrow so i can not be out until 3 or 4 in the morning." he had training at that time. if he wasn't asleep by midnight he would be an agitated mess at the gym. he had recently acquired a handful of new recruits that he would need to train this week. all the paperwork had been filled and finished last week so now the physical workouts called. he was curious to see how many would dropout within this week- maybe he would tell you that to fit along with his policeman job like an average civilian not a colonel from what some believed to be a terrorist group.
you hummed in response. "new recruits i have to train, i am curious to see how many will leave in the following weeks." he exhaled. knowing his time was running out and he would need to leave your doorstep. last thing he needed to do was give you the creeps and make you worried. you smiled at his comment, letting out a small chuckle.
"i hope they all stay, you seem to be a good trainer." you closed your eyes, crows feet appearing around your temporarily closed eyes. "you have a lot of muscle. that's something to be proud of, i can barely move my boxes around."
"ah, thank you, (y/n), i know for some it can be hard to stay focused and work out every day. it takes viel bestimmung oder ausdauer" he laughed, apologizing for not knowing the words in english. secretly, he hoped you would know but another part of him hoped not. he was cruel and calculated, he would keep you locked away and speak only in german and watch as you become more and more confused, frustrated and scared with the language barrier. just that thought made his heart pound a little faster. he didn't want to torture you- rather scare you into obedience and submission. as long he didn't physically hurt you then there was no harm in what he intended on doing. he reminded himself that and repeated it again to keep his head on straight. "and i can help you with the boxes, i don't want you to hurt yourself."
your eyes brightened at this idea. a godsend, you thought. you dreaded those boxes stuffed in the corner of your room. it was quite the eye soar and bothered you. the boys that lived above you were nice enough to help you move all of your stuff in, besides the heavier things like the entire refrigerator or microwave which you surely weren't able to install nor the heavier boxes filled with a myriad of trinkets.
"i didn't feel like brining half of the stuff in the boxes and coming back downstairs. it would take me too long." you sighed, scratching the side of your cheek. "i also have to install the microwave and fridge and i still have to call the maintenance guys." you half laughed partly out of embarrassment, still smiling nonetheless.
könig laughed at how flustered you looked with your cheeks turning into a bright pink. it reminded him of rose flowers. "i don't mind doing all of that right now for you, (y/n). only if you have time." with this he realized that you literally just have moved in. how could you not have these things set up by now? he was going to take you before any of the locals realized that you were settled down and lived there.
"well, i certainly do." you opened the door a bit wider for him. you sat the bread basket down on a high table adorned with your housekeys, a dish filled with rocks and photo of who he assumed was your family back home. he watched you slip off your flats, grab the basket and walk into what he guessed was your kitched. he also followed suit with his shoes not trying to be rude or give you any hint that he was off. you met him no longer than two hours ago and he was alone with you in your fucking house. gently, he placed both of his shoes side by side thinking how stupid you were. imagine, if he was malicious or had a gun? you would be robbed and dead by now. yet, you were a caring little thing. too innocent for this world. too innocent for him. all he had to do was rush you and choke you until you were unconscious and figure out a way to get out. he began to seriously contemplate thing noting the door behind him and the slightly open windows letting a draft in with open blinds as he made he way behind you.
there you stood, back to him with your hands on your hips. the refrigerator was laid horizontally on the wooden floor. granted, it was a small apartment but it could fit two people. it was most definitely built for students. the microwave laid door up on the kitchen countertop. könig found solace in how normal this all was, like he was an old friend using his muscle to help you move in or a couple just moving into a new apartment. he enjoyed the ladder more than the former by a longshot.
"im thinking the fridge goes here." you motioned to an empty spot in the kitchenette next to a plus, undoubtedly where the old tenants had it. könig watched you slide around with your white ankle socks on. he was jolting every few minutes with a primal instinct to cover your mouth and threaten to kill you if you didn't comply. he would never hurt you, just empty threats to keep you from running or screaming...or both. könig's mind went blank responding with nods and hums as you talked about where the fucking microwave should go. you should go, go with him to his place on the other side of the city. he only came back into reality when you struggled to pick up the metal microwave, which was too heavy for your little bones to carry. he thought how stupid he must've looked...how creepy he must've looked as you picked the metal up with him solely staring at you.
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The Wedding - Chapter 1
The evening was falling, I hastened around the room, trying to figure out if I was looking fine enough. 'Shouldn't have eaten rice the other night....bad, bad decision....' I think to myself, Nervously spinning as I eye my reflection in the mirror, a very visible bloat making me look fairly bulked, but I couldn't be thinking of all this right now.
I exhale, looking at the heap of make-up on my table, sighing. 'Should have started sooner...' I say, starting to pick out shades that fit in most likely.
The Pre-Wedding Dinner, of course, was something new to me.
Very new. The Theme was locked in. 'The 40s.' So of course, I had to look like a Good-Girl-Faith Lady. White, the very obvious for a bride, and floral, to make it look most decent, let us turn a blind eye to the neck line, please. After the Bachelorette Explorations of Europe, It had completely slipped my mind that I was not supposed to be looking for a matching blush 2 hours before the damn dinner.
I sigh into my hands, rubbing my face wearily as I tap away at my screen; the dialer ringing sounding more annoying than it usually does.
'Ro, Come help me out here.'
She was 'Rescue'. You know, Like...Iron Man's rescue? yeah. She owned up to that little nickname. Punctual and very, very loyal, she was inside the house exactly 4 minutes after that call ended. I could tell from the keys clinking, there she was.
'I told you, that you needed to get these things done in the damn afternoon itself!'
'I'm sorry! I was onto the caterers for tomorrow and I had to go pick out flowers and every thing...It completely-'
'Cher, Girl, Work.' She said, rinsing away at the heap of make up. Sometimes she is more practical with things than I am. When she isn't high, that is. I did of course, ask her to lay off on her stock for a while, at least since a week before the wedding. With a few needed things in hand, she and I were working on the sequence. The very staple.
First, Dress. Next, Hair. Then, Make-up.
'Where's the dress...? Tell me you did not leave it-'
'I did not leave it at the dry cleaners. Ro, Please, I'm not stupid, my dearest.'
'Well...'
'Not THAT stupid, Ro, please.'
I paused, my voice slightly silencing as I tried my damn hardest not to tear any gaps anywhere into the dress. Not that I looked like a trapped pigeon as I tried to fit, but anyway. 'Jesus, I'll donate a few million if I don't suffocate in this dress tonight...'
'Cher, why's it taking long to fit...?'
'I don't know~! I gave my right size, the same size that I gave for the gown too...'
'Hurry the fuck up or we're going to have an angry Bucky yelling up at us both...'
'Sorry.'
3 hours. Possibly the most frustrating time I've spent with my hair and make-up in my life. All to settle onto something vividly simple. I liked it that way.
'You look amazing.' 'Ro, please.' 'No, I'm not kidding. He's better faint when he see you.' 'Ro!' 'What..?'
I huffed, fixing up, one last time. Swallowing, as I unintentionally sucked in again. This was going to be a long, long night.
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I slowly made my way inside, fingers constantly occupied with spinning the ring, a slight anxiety. I know right, a social setting. Amazing. But this was...my dinner. Our dinner. I was afraid but I was happy too. The setting was perfect. Everything, just the right amount. The light dimmed to that perfect glow. Drinks that are always fizzy. Everyone dressed in their prettiest, vintage clothes. Odour of the barbeque grill, a sweet scent of my own lily soap on me. Ah, and...Jazz too.
Gazes turned, of course. The warmest smiles, nods of encouragement, cheers and whispers, all at once. It was thrilling, to say the least. My gaze searched around, the other hand at the same time, reaching to hold onto Rowan, just a little tighter.
Then, I saw him. He had this vector resistance, that seemed to make all time slow around him. For a moment, I had almost seemed like a fool, with that look on my face. Dazed.
My smile fluttered genuinely. I approached, quiet, as to not take his attention away. Guests were still yet to arrive. My gaze turned once back to Rowan, a supportive look in hers. I sat by him, observant.
'The Hobbit.' The Original One. He had given me that when we first met. What coincidence.
I smiled, glancing away at the drinks starting to be served. I was glad that I could make it in time today. Would've been a shame to be late to something you hosted. And borderline embarrassing too, for the both of us. 'What bride shows up late, no?' I sigh, wandering, countless conversations made and the dinner hadn't really begun yet. I hum a tune, looking around for Rowan. Where did she wander off to...? I walk around, picking up a drink.
'I am hoping she didn't go-' My chain of thought is broken by a bitter sting down my throat as I swallow the drink with clear reluctance, my face forming a not so gentle frown. 'The champagne is...bitter?'
I was panicking inside. The champagne was bitter. Oh, it is a disaster. Someone needed to stop the drinks before they reached. No, no, no.
My haste around is halted when I bump head first into Rowan, the leftover champagne in my hand almost spilling over.
'Ro, Help. The champagne...it's- it's not-'
'Oooh, drink.' She gleams, taking the champagne from me, swallowing it down without a doubt, leaving me utterly perplexed. I watch in horror as she down the glass with a satisfied hum.
'The champagne, what about it...? Ice? You want ice?'
'No~! That's...that's not...it...isn't it bitter?' I whisper yelled, still in shock from the previous little burner.
'Honey, this is Dom Perignon 2010 Magnum. This is anything but bitter. This is something Tony would kill to have in his collection.'
'But it's...'
'It's okay, cher, different folks, different views. Besides, this is better than my past week of staying clean.'
I sigh. At least it wouldn't be a disaster.
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Dinner was served. The atmosphere instantly smelled of fine sizzling barbeque meals and stews. Helpful, Easy glances were exchanged around the table as each one dug in. I exhale, slowly slipping my hand into James'. It brought a sort of ease, really. He was careful, nudging me for seconds when he knew I needed them, getting my locks out of my face when needed. He was very well aware, even while being occupied in very many conversations with the men. My pinky stayed locked with his, of course. It was something we did in public settings. He knew that my anxiety would continue to pin me at most times.
With a serving of the very staple, New York's Beloved Blueberry Cheesecake, and very many toasts made from all near and dears, the dinner, at last, concluded. Excitement in each person's goodbye for what's to come the next morning. The big day. 'How cliche.' I thought to myself, sighing. I held onto James' arm, entwined with care. I glanced up at him. My smile was vibrant, yes. A little sickness in my gut, I pushed the feeling away. My cheek slowly rested onto his shoulder.
'Quite a night.'
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#//@soldier-bucky-barnes: Please Reblog with your POV.#//@The-loss-of-my-life: Please Reblog with your POV.#tags in comments#Spotify
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