#i'm studying for a practical and written exam on the brain

[desicosplay]

because apparently I need to “redirect my energy” into advocacy in order to help with the overwhelming feeling of loneliness, lack of community, and silence from my medical school, here’s the link to my resources for justice page, which has:

- Articles - Organizations - Shops - Toolkits - Self-Care - Books (oh lord are there books)

https://desicosplay.tumblr.com/justice 

[adore-gregor]

my perception of grades totally changed since i started uni

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿 ( 𝗮𝗰𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 !! )

𝟭. improve your writing skills ( ✒️ )

i feel that not everyone has the perception of how important it is to know how to write. you don't have to be a poet, nor the new emily brontë, but fluid, conscious, rich writing makes the difference. really. you could write a page without saying anything at all, but if that damn page is written good and smoothly, then you can be sure that you will get extra points. take the time to improve your writing skills, the best advice i have for doing so is reading. read as much as you can. read novels (non-fiction in this case doesn't help because the content is preferred rather than the form), read contemporary authors – you don't necessarily have to read sophocles' tragedies, but read quality stuff. expand your vocabulary, your knowledge of syntax, learn to use punctuation! and then write, tell stories, write love letters, write reviews of films, books, cultural festivals, open a blog on tumblr and write to practice, reread what you write ad nauseam, until it is perfect, until the form of your essay is pulitzer prize worthy.

bonus some of my favourite authors (tell me in the comments about yours!): ian mcewan, banana yoshimoto, haruki murakami, george orwell, josé saramago, albert camus, khaled hosseini, hanya yanagihara

𝟮. develop critical thinking ( 💭 )

if you have always studied passively by absorbing information and vomiting it onto a test sheet then you have wasted your time. taking on information is not enough, you need to know how to rework it and develop your own idea about it. especially in the arts and literature one may disagree with certain information provided by a textbook. developing critical thinking is not easy, especially due to the school system that teaches us to standardize thinking. always consult all available sources on a given topic, compare them, analyze contradictions. it might be difficult and tiring – our brain spends more energy processing two conflicting pieces of information than processing two pieces of information that agree – but it will be worth it. by practicing critical thinking and improving your argumentation skills, you will not only be able to improve in your studies, becoming able to present complex topics and make interdisciplinary connections, but also in daily life, you will become much less influenced and manipulated by external information.

𝟯. find yourself an interest ( 🌷 )

it could be anything, but find an interest that excites you and you enjoy and do research about it. watch videos, documentaries, read articles. it doesn't have to be school-related, it must be an external topic that you are passionate about and that allows you to rediscover the joy of studying and learning every time school seems to suffocate it. sometimes i'm not in the mood to study for exams, so i dedicate myself to my personal research and finally find my spark, my seek for knowledge. for example, my interest is true crime, it has always fascinated me since i was little, but yours could be wild animals, makeup, comics, ships, planes, ocean flora, literally anything. there is no constraint.

𝟰. analyze your mistakes and recognize your wrongs ( 🫒 )

there is no shame in making mistakes. everyone makes mistakes, we are human, but the real sin is getting bogged down in mistakes, refusing to acknowledge them, and continuing to make them again and again. we should be continually growing, continually discovering ourselves, both intellectually and emotionally. how many of you were the "gifted kid" when you were little and then grew up into burned out high school / uni students desperately seeking academic validation? there comes a time when talent isn't enough, you have to put in the effort, and this doesn't make you less intelligent or gifted, in fact, quite the opposite. dedicating time and attention to your personal and intellectual growth also means having to ruminate on your mistakes. it's scary, but it's the most effective way if you really want to improve. take a notebook and at the end of the day reflect on the highlights and the wrongs, what you could have done better, where you would like to push forward tomorrow, what you achieved today. did you make a mistake? first ask yourself why and then look for a way to solve the problem, make every bad moment a lesson, a brick on which to build the version of you you wanto to become tomorrow.

𝟱. don't be afraid of doing researches ( 🧃 )

the amount of fake news and misinformation online is appalling. opening any app like tiktok or instagram we are inundated with information that is often (not always, but not so rarely) inaccurate. don't be afraid to conduct your own research, if you have time to mindlessly scroll through tiktok you will also have five minutes to read an article regarding that information provided. don't know the meaning of a word? look it up before using it. not sure about a piece of information? check it before using it in your argumentation. in the age of immediate access to data we have no excuse to be superficial.

𝟲. master communication ( ♟️ )

mastering communication is essential in both personal and professional realms. it's the cornerstone of building meaningful relationships, whether it's conveying ideas effectively in academia or fostering connections in the workplace. developing strong communication skills not only enhances your ability to articulate thoughts but also empowers you to listen actively, empathize with others, and resolve conflicts constructively. ultimately, honing these skills cultivates confidence, credibility, and success in all aspects of life.

𝟳. push yourself out of your comfort zone ( 🧸 )

build your confidence. confidence is uncomfortable. don't be afraid of it. you are young, this is the right time to experiment, take risks, discover who you really are. this is the best time for you to do those things that you would otherwise never do, you don't want to regret later in life that you didn't accept that scholarship, that trip abroad, that job opportunity, because you didn't feel comfortable enough. do things that take you out of your comfort zone until everything becomes your comfort zone. go on solo dates, be a social butterfly, tell the girl at the bookstore you love her t-shirt, go to the theater alone, eat at a restaurant alone, take that trip. if it goes badly, you'll only have one funny story to tell.

𝟴. stay informed about the news (but not too much!) ( 🌍 )

this might be controversial, but: stay informed about the news, just don't overdo it. personally, i am an easily influenced person and i realized that being constantly exposed to the bad things happening in the world had drained me and made me terribly depressed. don't get me wrong, you need to be informed about what's happening in the world and in your country, just being constantly surrounded by horrible news repeated ad nauseam on TV programs is of no use. be aware.

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

academic rivals d.g.

Pairing: Dick Grayson as Robin x Reader

Warnings: Some injuries.

Word Count: 4.3K

A/N: Full discretion this idea was given to me by an anon and even though I said I wasn't taking requests I just couldn't resist.

Also @writing2sirvive I hope you find this offer acceptable after not writing for our baby for so long 😭😭

There was always a slight pinch of anxiety when your teacher went around the class, handing back your test papers after grading them and you waited with slightly bated breath, a fist clutching the fabric of your uniform.

Even though you knew you had done well on the exam, you were particularly unnerved by her declaration before distributing the stack of papers that only one person had managed to get a perfect score.

You kept your eyes trained on your desk, waiting for someone behind you to exclaim that they had gotten a 100% but it never came. Not until your teacher had placed your paper in front of you with a soft 'Good job'.

You beamed, barely able to contain your excitement as you waited for the bell to ring.

Of course, you were over the moon that you got a 100. And that you were the only person in the entire class that managed to get one.

But secretly, you were more elated by the fact that someone else didn't.

"Aw, what's wrong Grayson? Your daddy finally run out of money to bribe your teachers with?" You snarked as soon as you caught a glance of the 93 written in red at the top of his paper.

"Sub-par insult, (L/N)." He said flatly.

"I disagree, nothing about me is sub-par, as you can clearly see." A sly grin on your face as you waved your paper with '100' in his face. He rolled his eyes so far back you couldn't resist making a comment, "Roll your eyes as hard as you want, Grayson, you won't be able to find a brain back there."

His friend, Barbara, who was sitting beside him chuckled at this and he turned to her with an irritated glare, "Can I help you?"

She gave him a teasing smile, unnerved by his annoyance toward her, "Oh, nothing, I'm just eagerly waiting for the day you both stop pretending you hate each other and start dating."

It seemed like her comment had just the effect she had wanted when Dick choked on his spit in his haste to argue that even if you were the last person on Earth, he wouldn't go near you with a 10-foot-pole.

"I'm not too happy to agree with you, Grayson but I, very fortunately, have a boyfriend."

His face twisted, "Gross, who'd wanna date you?"

You gave him a fake smile, "Hopefully, not you."

***

"Recognized: Domino, B-08."

You squealed in joy the second the light faded from your eyes, gaze landing on your boyfriend who stood right outside the zeta tube with a giant smile on his face.

You threw your arms around Robin's neck with a giggle, peppering his lips with smiley kisses that he so enthusiastically returned, his arms snug around your waist.

"Do you guys have to do this every time?" Came Conner's unimpressed voice as he shuffled uncomfortably around the two of you making out, "Can you at least stop doing it in the middle of the entrance? People are trying to get places."

You pulled away with a soft blush, smiling at the sight of your sparkly lip gloss on Robin's mouth and his slightly dazed expression. There was nothing like your kisses that was able to knock the vigilante's world off its axis and it had been this way ever since you started dating 10 months ago.

The pair of you were still very much in the honeymoon phase, much to the chagrin of your teammates, who have walked in on you many times while your lips were practically glued to each other.

"How was your day?" Robin finally asked when you had each gotten your fair share of kisses, leading you to the kitchen for a snack before the mission briefing and you beamed, "Amazing! I got a perfect score on that test from last week!"

He raised a brow, "The one that you skipped a date to study for?"

Smiling, you nodded, "The very one."

He sighed, taking a box out of the fridge, "See? I told you that you'd do great! You probably didn't even need to skip our date."

You rolled your eyes, giggling at his pout that you were all too quick to kiss away, "Hey now, I made it up to you, didn't I?"

Nodding, he pushed the box further toward you with a smile, "You did. Which is why I got you this, but I guess it could be for a job well done too."

You gasped when you saw the squiggles of the familiar logo of your favourite bakery on the top of the box and eagerly opened it up, completely missing the fact that it had been sealed with tape and nearly ripping the carboard to shreds in order to get to the treats inside.

The smell of the strawberry shortcake and red velvet cupcake had you salivating, and you wasted to time before digging in.

"Ugh, I love you." You moaned, nearly dissolving into the symphony of flavours and Robin chuckled swiping some of the cream cheese frosting off your cheek before licking it off his thumb, "Are you talking to me or the cupcake?"

You paused, glancing up at him from the cupcake wrapper, "I can love more than one thing."

His affectionate gaze had you melting, forgetting the delicious treat for a second, "Thank you for the gift, I really love it."

Robin happily accepted the sugary kiss you had given him, "Well, I figured, since it had been a while since we had a date in Gotham, you'd be craving it."

You only took another bite of the cupcake to hide your guilty wince. While the list of details you didn't know about your boyfriend was limitless, starting with his name and ending with literally anything else, you felt guilty that he somehow knew even less about you.

At least you knew what city he lived in while he was under the impression that you lived in Star City with Dinah, your mentor. You really thought he wouldn't buy it, especially after he didn't believe Artemis the first time.

But nearly a year after joining the team it would seem that he was still blissfully unaware, and you were planning to reveal your identity to him soon enough. You were firm that you wouldn't be celebrating your one-year anniversary without knowing each other's names at least.

At least once he found out you were living in the same city, you'd be able to have more frequent dates.

"Team to mission room." You heard over the PA, and you grabbed the box with you to the meet Batman and Canary along with the team, unwilling to leave your precious strawberry shortcake at the hands of Wally. This way you'd be able to dislocate his shoulder the second he put his hands on your things.

When you entered the room to find a face that you recognized on the holoscreen, you paused and glanced at Artemis who shrugged in response.

"Leo 'The Lion' Stark, the leader of the cult that was kidnapping young girls was officially incarcerated this morning."

Cheers erupted around the room, and you passed the box in your hands to your boyfriend to high-five Artemis and bring her into a hug. Black Canary patted the both of you on the shoulder, "Job well done on this mission, you two."

The mission that led to his arrest had been an undercover op with both you and Artemis posing as the girls from the private school that was being targeted. Eventually, you were able to find the leader and put a stop to his entire organization.

You had never seen Robin more fearful for your life than during this mission and it was after it that you had said your first I love you's.

"Today's mission is a covert op. For stealth, I will only be sending two members of the team: Robin and Domino."

Robin sent you a smile and you squeezed your interlocked fingers underneath the table.

"If they can stop kissing long enough to actually get the mission done." Conner grumbled underneath his breath and was rewarded with a swift kick to the knee.

***

It happened too quickly.

Everything was going fine. The mission was well underway, and you had observed them long enough to know where they were keeping their illegal servers. All that was left was to input your program that would upload all their data wirelessly so it could be accessed by the league.

Then it all went wrong, all at once.

You don't even remember much of what happened. All you knew is that when you had least expected it, someone had snuck up on you and you had felt your stomach squeeze with a painful terror that you hadn't experienced in a long time upon being caught off-guard.

"The Lion sends his greetings."

What followed was a series of excruciating shocks up your body that had your heartbeat ceasing in your chest and the movement of every single muscle came to a standstill such that you couldn't even make a sound come out of your throat.

You didn't even have the time to think about anything before you lost consciousness, the last thought flashing through your head being your worry for Robin.

And then every single pulse in your head came to an abrupt end.

“Come on hero, come on!” Robin panted as he continued to pump his hands against your chest, counting down the beats in his head to the compressions, “Baby please, please wake up!”

He was in tears, even though he tried to control them, but he had been looking at your unconscious face for the last 30 minutes as he continuously tried to revive you. His stomach was in knots and his chest felt like it was on fire, but he still didn’t quit, he wouldn’t until he passed out himself.

Before he could even stop himself, he was sobbing and the wails he let out erased the count he was keeping in his head, “Someone please help! Please help.”

His communicator lay discarded only a couple of feet beside him, but he couldn’t take his hands off you for a second, he couldn’t mess up the beat, he couldn’t stop the chest compressions because you’d die; and he’d die right alongside you.

“Robin, come in. Robin, can you hear me?”

His chest collapsed in a fit of sobs as soon as he heard the sound of his mentor come through from the communicator. The device beeped with the sound that alerted him of an override indicating that his mentor could now listen in.

“Batman help! She’s not breathing! I don't think she has a pulse! I’m trying to do CPR but she’s not awaking up! Please help!”

“Hang in there, Robin. Someone will be there in five.”

***

"She's alive but her brain was deprived of oxygen for a while so we can't accurately put a time frame on when she could wake up." Batman explained, his voice as stiff as concrete like always but the hand he placed on his ward's shoulder was warm and comforting.

There were so many questions rushing through Robin's head, but he kept silent because a part of him already knew the answer. This wasn't the first time he had seen something like this, while being Robin he had seen countless families, parents, spouses, receive the same news.

The distraught questions would usually follow: would take months? years? is there a chance that she could never wake up? is there anything he could do?

He wanted to ask Batman anyway, he wanted Batman to lie and say that everything would be okay, that the girl he loved would wake up soon and he just had to wait but he knew better than anyone that was all it would be. Lies.

There were those that were fortunate enough for their loved one to eventually wake up. Others would be forced to watch life go by while their loved ones were imprisoned to a bed with the empty hope that one day they'd wake up.

So, he swallowed down all his questions, Adam's apple bobbing painfully in his throat, "Can I see her?"

His father nodded, leading him to the med-bay with one hand on his back. Robin felt his stomach sink with every step he took, staring sullenly at his sock-clad feet. In his rush to change after the mission so he could get to you as soon as possible, he had thrown on anything he could find.

Which resulted in him being dressed in your sweatpants and his hoodie that you had stolen so often it smelt like you; a combination that both comforted him and broke his heart all at once.

When he saw you from the door, a rush of epiphanies struck through him like lightning to a metal rod. Although, first and foremost, he was just relieved to see you. Even though it hurt him to see you unconscious, and he knew that there was a chance he'd never get to see you awake again, a part of him forgot all about that as soon as he saw you.

He took quick steps toward you, wanting nothing more than to feel your skin against his when he stopped in his tracks once again with wide eyes, realizing you were without your mask.

"Robin?"

"I-I know her. (Y/N) (L/N), s-she's in my class." He stammered, staring at your relaxed features with his mouth hanging open. As odd as it sounded, this was the first time he had ever seen you, as (Y/N), so relaxed.

Whether it was a scowl or even just a grimace, you always seemed to be frowning at him and he never bothered to pay any attention to you outside of classes, when you were talking with your friends. He was sure you'd have a mesmerizing grin, one that would reach your beautiful eyes.

Batman stayed silent behind him, and Dick wondered just how many times Bruce had heard him talking shit about the love of his life, having to keep silent to respect your privacy. His cheeks coloured, remembering the conversation from this morning, where he had claimed that he would never touch you even with a 10-foot pole.

If only he had known that he had been pressed against the same girl so many nights prior.

"Does it matter?" Batman asked, snapping him out of his mortified state where he remembered every single insult he had ever directed at you, either to your face or behind your back.

To anyone else, it would have sounded like a shallow question, but Dick knew his father was concerned about whether his feelings would have changed, whether your identity did matter to him more than your relationship or his love for you.

He swallowed, walking up to your bedside, and gently brushing a strand of hair away from your face and for the first time in his life, he took in all your features. It was startling how quickly his worst enemy became the most beautiful person in the world.

"No, it doesn't."

***

You could see the bright light even though your eyes were shut. There was nothing more you wanted than to slip back into your deep slumber but for some reason your consciousness began trickling back into your head in a gentle stream.

You squirmed, brows pinching together in a frown as you murmured something unintelligible, features twitching until finally your eyes began to flutter open.

"(Y/N)?" You heard and your hand was squeezed by someone you couldn't quite place. Your vision was still quite blurry, and you were extremely disoriented. Still, you tried to blink through the hazy shapes in your sight and you managed to recognize a familiar head of black hair.

"Baby?" You breathed out, sighing in relief when he pressed a kiss to your knuckles, "Thank goodness you're okay."

Right before you had lost consciousness, a thought had flashed into your head. Robin would never abandon you there, no matter what had happened to you, if you had died or just lost consciousness.

You worried that in his effort to stick by you, he'd be hurt or worse.

"Me? (Y/N), you were unconscious for two days! Do you have any idea how worried I've been?!"

If you had been any more conscious, you probably would've been concerned over the way his voice broke in grief and his heartbroken words but in your exhaustion, all you could do was give him a silly smile, wishing your eyes could focus long enough for you to see his beautiful face.

"I'm okay now, I'm okay."

"I didn't think you would be." He confessed, pressing another kiss to your fingertips, holding your hand gingerly but still in a firm grip in between both of his. Like he was scared you'd evaporate and disappear before his eyes.

"I'm okay, baby. Just a little sleepy." You told him, feeling your consciousness slip further and further away as your blinks began to get longer and longer and your strength began to disappear, "You'll be here when I wake up, right?"

He nodded, voice thick with unshed tears even though you couldn't see him, "Yeah. I'll be right here."

***

This time when you woke, you felt much more refreshed than you had before. Your head didn't feel like it was nailed to the pillow anymore, but it felt like you had lead in your veins which was expected considering you had been unconscious for days.

Despite his promise, Robin was nowhere to be found when you finally sat up, stretching your arms as much as you could, careful of the IV in your hand. Your eyes darted around the familiar med-bay, trying to catch a glance of the clock by craning your neck but was ultimately unsuccessful.

Was it a weekday? Was it school hours? Was that why Robin wasn't at your side like you had asked him? What about you? What excuse had Batman given the school to explain your sudden absence? Were your parents aware that you had been injured?

The endless barrage of questions was silenced to a mum when you heard the door slide open and you sighed in relief, noticing the head of black hair first, "I believe you promised to be here when I wo—!"

Dick Grayson was beaming at you and in certain angles of the light, his blue eyes almost looked glossy with tears, but you shook your head unconsciously. Why would he be crying at the sight of you?

'Because you're so ugly the sight is making my eyes water.' Would have been his classic response and you practically rolled your eyes at the thought.

"(Y/N), you're awake!" He took a step closer, and you flinched.

"Stop right there!" He quite literally froze in his steps, he might as well have been encased in ice at the receiving end of your cold glare, "What the hell are you doing here, Grayson?"

He paused and somehow you were annoyed by the dumbfounded look on his face while multiple scenarios ran through your head. A concussion, brain injury or something along that likeness. Perhaps the part of your brain responsible for recognizing faces was damaged and this wasn't actually Dick Grayson. Amnesia, possibly? Maybe you were actually good friends with him but managed to forget it all? Of course, there was always the possibility this was a dream.

Your brow twitched at his lack of response, "I asked you a question."

At your terse tone, it seemed like he was finally able to snap himself out of his stupor, "(Y/N), baby, it's me."

You scowled, "Don't call me that and speak clearly; the hell do you mean by 'me'?"

"Baby," He said again, so firmly that you were silenced in your effort to snap at him again, "It's me."

Dick watched as your face melted from an expression of disgruntled bewilderment to the smallest sliver of recognition. Your eyes raked over his body, only now noticing that he was in short sleeves, and you were able to see the familiar scar on his forearm that belonged to your boyfriend. The little patch of freckles near his elbow that you had traced with your finger so many times before.

Your voice was small when you called him again, "Rob?"

He nodded and your eyes went wide, not quite able to believe it. Your boyfriend stood stiffly, berating himself for not handling this better. He had very quickly gotten over the fact that his girlfriend was his greatest rival in high school while he watched your unconscious face for the past couple of days, waiting for you to wake up.

It had completely slipped his mind that you were still unaware of his identity, and he swallowed nervously. Sure, it was something he could easily put past him but were you the same?

Robin knew you inside and out, he knew how much you loved him, but he didn't know how just much you hated Dick Grayson. Was that hate enough to overpower your love for him?

You stared at him in surprise for only a minute, but it felt like hours to him before you closed your eyes and leaned your head back, "Wow."

"This-This doesn't change anything right?" He began, feeling the lump in his throat grow three sizes larger when you turned to him with an expression that was not a reassuring smile like he had wanted.

"Are you kidding? This changes everything! Barbara is never going to let us hear the end of this. And my friends? Oh, they've hated you ever since that incident during our group presentations." You exclaimed, fingers twitching, and Dick knew it was because you wanted to flail your arms around but couldn't because of the IV.

He bit his lip. You weren't outright rejecting him or anything, but he needed to hear you say it and he needed to hear it as soon as possible.

"No—(Y/N), does this change anything between us?"

You paused, stopping in the middle of your tangent to give him a confused glance, "Between us? No. Why would it?"

And just like that, the tension in his muscles evaporated away and he relaxed, approaching to your side like he wanted to and interlacing your fingers, "I love you."

You finally smiled at him, leaning to kiss his lips, "I love you more, even though you said I was gross and that no one would ever want to date me."

"Well, to be fair you said you'd hope I never did, so I guess we're even."

***

"Hey, stranger." It really didn't make sense that after almost a year of dating, your boyfriend's voice still managed to send shivers down your spine. You closed your locker shut before turning to meet the beautiful blue eyes that you grew to love.

It was scary how quickly you completely rewired your brain into loving every single feature belonging to Dick Grayson.

"Hi, Grayson."

His eyes dipped to your lips for a second, mentally scolding himself for turning to putty the second you said his last name. It was weird how the last time you both were in school together, he thought that the sound of his name coming from your mouth was like nails on a chalkboard.

Now, he felt like he had been blessed just by being in your presence.

"I have all the assignments and notes that you missed the past week." You had been ordered bed rest and some physiotherapy to regain complete mobility after being unconscious for a couple of days. Under your boyfriend's watchful care, he had dutifully nursed you back to health.

You smiled when he handed you the stack of papers even though the heft of it made you want to cry. All this work from just a week? All the AP classes you had been taking in order to compete with your own boyfriend had come back to bite you in the ass.

"Thank you. Can I come over later so you can help me out with it?"

It was really a formality that you were asking because you both knew he was obviously going to say yes. But you figured you'd do the polite thing and ask the first time. After today though his room would practically be yours, just as your room would now be his personal hideout.

"Of course, baby. I've been dying to introduce you to Alfred. We can go back to mine together after school."

You nodded, starting when you heard the bell, "I have Physics." You bemoaned, it being the only class Dick didn't take with you. He had opted for a language instead, which you were beginning to think was more useful than whatever you learnt anyway.

He gave you a smile, eyes twinkling when he slanted his lips over yours in a soft kiss and you had to pull away quickly before you forgot just where you were.

His disappointed pout was all too quick to disappear when you reminded him that you'd be going home with him that day, "I'll see you later."

The two of you parted ways with delirious smiles, feeling too much like you were wafting on cloud nine, completely unbeknownst to the small crowd of people that watching your entire interaction with wide eyes.

Barbara, who was stood at the centre of the flock, smirked, and held out her hand, "Pay up bitches."

***

Bonus:

"I'm surprised you didn't figure out her identity earlier, Dick. Aren't you supposed to be a great detective?" Wally teased and your boyfriend rolled his eyes.

"It's not that I couldn't find out, I just didn't try."

"How come?"

He spared you a glance and shrugged, "She asked me not to."

"I don't remember you offering me the same consideration." Artemis sniped but he knew it was all in good nature.

"You aren't nearly as pretty." He replied coolly, making you blush.

***

Forever Taglist:

@simonsbluee

@notslaybabes

@superheroesaremyjam113263

@writers-whirlwind

DC Taglist:

@emmacata

@p--e--a--c--h--e--s

@sometimeseverythingsucks

@sokkas-honour

@unstable1902

@lostgirlheart

@missdisapear

@tadpole-san

@isawachickeninatree

@uxavity

@battlenix

@capricorn-stark

@evermoore580

@dumbbitchgalore

@fuckingjinkies

@some-lovely-day

[iamsonny-j]

This was originally going to be in reply to @glowinggreeneyes-e post about the Captain's education and career path...but then I got carried away because I'm so normal about this stuff so it's now its own post...with added angst because I have no control over any of this, my brain just goes.

So for a start the Captain would have gone to a public boarding school. I think it's worth pointing out that public schools and universities operated scholarships for students from less wealthy backgrounds. We're still talking middle class and upper middle, but not always full on wealthy and privileged in the way of someone like Julian. Cap strikes me as having the background of a family well enough off but he probably always had to work hard to prove himself for his place, maybe not so much for public school but definitely for university.

Whatever school he attended would have had an Officer Training Corps junior division. Basically cadets. This would lead to the possibility to do an exam (written and practical) to get what was called certificate A to show he had participated in the OTC.

From the Button House Archives it says Cap got to the front in WW1 at armistice and so never saw action. So I imagine he finished his studies at school in the summer, enlisted and completed basic training, and then was out to Europe just in time for things to end. Because he got his certificate A at school he had the option at university to join the OTC university division. This was a route to becoming a commissioned officer. You either needed certificate A or experience in the ranks to join. For the sake of argument, serving in the army for a couple of months wouldn't count as experience so he must have had the certificate A...

University options at that time were limited to Oxbridge, Durham or London. All of those had OTC. I think London can be ruled out...only because it was busy, loud and ugly, even then (sorry London friends!) and the Captain likes wildlife and the countryside and nature walks...I can't see him thriving in London.

Training with the OTC at university involved physical training, military strategy, history and law etc. The Captain would have had to complete 2 years training before he could have done exams for his Certificate B - practical and written. Passing the exams would have entitled him to a commission on graduation. Getting Certificate B wasn't common because of the amount of work involved and dedication required to be successful. It was hard!

Like I want to point out that to get that far would have required so much effort and dedication right from being a child. And this is where I will get sad and headcanon-y for a bit (let me have this one thing out of all this research!)

Bullying and abusive rituals were a big part of public school life at this time and any boy seen as even slightly different would have been targeted for sure, even by some of the teachers. So although Cap comes across as clever and capable at what he knows I think school would have been socially really freaking hard. For a child in that situation I could see the OTC being a respite and something the Captain would have found very comforting with the set rules, order and expectations and from there you can understand why career army would have been appealing...

And I think that's when things get a bit complicated. The army was his life but in a different way to officers who wanted to be on the front line, like Havers. Obviously Cap worked extremely hard for his commission - and he was obviously very well qualified and knowledgable in his areas of interest, but he was always ever going to be best at HQ tasks like intelligence or engineering or whatever his particular career skills were - loving the army in theory, but some of it would have always been out of his reach. And I think being in a public school during WW1 and hearing of so many former pupils (some he would have known personally as seniors, prefects or head of houses) losing their lives on a daily basis during WW1 would have had a huge effect on him and probably influenced some of the guilt about not having the opportunity to fight himself, but ultimately I think he probably knew that wasn't his part to play even with WW2.

And I think all that that shows in his interactions we see in his past as CO - he was obviously doing a good job at whatever secret little operations he had but he really didn't have the skills/personality needed to be a CO. Having someone like Havers as a second hid that (and that's also seen in Havers getting 2 promotions in 4 years...he was much more of a natural CO) and I wonder if a lot of affection that Cap had for Havers originally came from the fact that Havers not only respected him as CO but he was also just kind to him and saw a person worthy of affection - rather than the CO that everyone tolerated but secretly disrespected and laughed at (just look at how all the other officers couldn't wait to come down on him in 5.05)

And then he lost Havers. But still had to command up to 150 men and operations at Button House for the next 4 years. And it's obvious from the letters and information in the Button House Archives that he really REALLY did try and I think with considering everything it's no wonder he overcompensates a lot and that's where he's at in the first couple of seasons of Ghosts; fighting for authority and trying to do his best.

Last sad point because it does relate: When he died Havers gave Cap the swagger stick to hold - Havers still called him 'Sir' even though he outranked him at that point. I don't know if I can begin to unpick all of that, but there's definitely something in there about respect, belief and the burden of responsibility that he clearly took seriously into his afterlife not wanting to let Havers down both personally and professionally.

If you read all of this I love you and respect you and appreciate you for appreciating my level of not normal xD

[toxicdosage]

How to Cram Two Days Before an Exam Because You Skipped Too Many Classes (or to Catch up on Homework) (OR General Helpful Study Tips)

(Step Zero: Try your very best not to get into this situation because it sucks digging your way back out. But since we're both here...)

Step One: Make a List of Everything You Need to Read/Practice

When you have all of your tasks written out in front of you, the tasks seem a lot less intimidating! Bonus points for adding each task's priority, so you don't "waste your time" on things that are less pressing!

Step Two: Gather All Materials Needed (Including Drinks and Snacks!)

Having to get up in the middle of a GrindSesh is pretty distracting, and can pull you out of Study Mode. Having all your materials and such within an arm's reach helps you stay focused!

Step Three: Grind Time Begins (sad emoji)

The part that sucks the most but we gotta do it. Here are some tips I've learned over the course of being a massive procrastinator:

Writing things out and reading out loud is, generally, more effective than just reading it!

Remember to take breaks! Using a Pomodoro Timer really helps me keep track of this. If you just keep studying without end, your drive and mind will burn out quick. I usually set a timer for 40 minutes of study, 5 minutes short break, and 10 minute long break. If I feel like I'm getting a bit burnt out, I'll take the break and then get back to it. If I feel like I'm on a roll, I'll skip the break and keep working. Listen to your body!

If it's definition heavy, write out key terms with definitions and highlight them in different colors depending on your understanding: green for topics you're confident on; yellow for topics that are a bit troublesome, you're having trouble remembering but you understand the concept; and red for topics you straight up just don't understand, these are topics you should go back and read up on.

If there's a troublesome or hard to understand topic, don't review right when you write out the term. Go through all key terms until you get to the end, and then start reviewing from the beginning. This repetition will help with getting the information really stuck in your mind!

If it's equation heavy, actually practice the example problems instead of just reading them over. Physically practicing them will help with muscle memory.

If there are any diagrams, print them out/copy-paste them onto your notes! That visual aid is really helpful for memory forming.

In general, it's really helpful to really understand how a topic/equation works, instead of just remembering. If you understand a topic, you'll be able to apply that knowledge in case there's a trick question or a bonus question where you can use that knowledge to figure out some crazy problem.

Rest. After working so hard, you need some time for your brain to relax. Go eat some dinner, take a shower, get cozy, and chill out. Maybe do a light review before you go to sleep and when you wake up so it's fresh in your mind.

Let me know if you think there are any other helpful tips I can add here! Let's help each other do our best!

[ohyespotatous]

Weekly study reflection (June 1-7) 💗🧠

Goals: Study at least 7 hours or revise 4 chapters a day Goals achieved: 3/7 (June 1, 3, 5) 

💌 - When I told you I'm a potato, I meant it, guys. My biggest blunder this semester? Being lazy for an entire month in April, which left me binge-studying 23 days before exams. I ambitiously aimed for 7-10 hours of daily study and promptly burned out in the first week, lol. Well, it's embarrassing. It's okay guys… Feel free to use me as a bad example. That way I won't be that useless. Haha, just kidding! We either win or learn :) Now that I made the decision to not fail this semester, I’ll make the most of my time, even if it's not perfect. So… here's my evaluation of the first exams prep week :v

Goals & objective 🎯

🧐>

The goals I set could be more attainable and specific.

Studying for 7 hours doesn’t mean I am effectively learning something. I could learn more or less in the same amount of time.

Revising based on the chapters isn’t practical for exam preparations. I don’t need to relearn everything, and it gets boring for my rebellious mind.

💡>

I need to set different goals for each subject & topic.

Outcome-based objectives rather than time-based ones.

Time, energy, and focus management ⚡

🧐>

Boring study schedule. As I set my goals based on study duration, I made a fixed study schedule with a fixed study interval. I got knocked out really fast. 

I tend to get burnt out every other day when I study for more than 5 hours.

Long sessions lead to diminishing returns. My study time keeps decreasing throughout the week.

I’m not too fond of Pomodoro because it breaks my flow. Still, it is helpful when I have difficulty focusing or don’t feel like studying.

Coffee doesn’t necessarily enhance my focus. Drinking enough water works just as well. Morning coffee causes me anxiety during noon study sessions.

My brain works best in predawn hours until early morning.

💡>

Add a big buffer to the study time, so you can start when you’re physically & mentally ready and don’t feel guilty when you start late.

Break the study time into shorter intervals with breaks.

Use a variable-interval/variable-ratio reinforcement schedule. Stop when you’ve learned/done enough or are tired. Give yourself a little reward.

Optimize study environment and various learning methods for sustained focus. Keep it interesting!

Adjust caffeine intake and timing. Drink enough water.

Learning Techniques 🧠

🧐>

Since I have only studied Statistics and Economics until now, my biggest challenge is the numbers 💀 My biggest weakness. The only way out is to practice and practice more.

I think the theory part went pretty well. 

Unless the book is ‘poorly written’ or hard to understand, I don’t really need pretty notes. Scribbling the book and writing side notes work better for me. 

Flash cards for key concepts and terminologies.

I use the Feynman method and mindmaps to review my understanding of the information. I usually explain the concepts to the walls or my cats, lol.

I still need to make time for the practice tests.

💡>

Make card decks for Statistics and Economics equations.

Convert charts and diagrams into your own words.

Schedule a time for the practice tests.

╰⁠(⁠*⁠´⁠︶⁠`⁠*⁠)⁠╯

[andro-studiesmed]

JOURNAL ENTRY - July 24, 2024

I failed my physiology written exam and practical. I was anticipating the written exam but I was pretty sure I did well enough in my practical to be able to pass it but I didn't and I don't know what to do about it.

I feel sluggish. Slow and sluggish and stuck and I'm really struggling with speaking about it. Like my mind and my brain isn't my own. That's why I'm writing about it but the problem is I am also struggling writing about it.

I was never really verbal about my emotions because I could never. Even when I first went for therapy years ago— I would have to be able to write things out on paper to be able to make her understand. The thing is I know she never really read them and so I only did it for once.

But I'm feeling so much right now— and I'm failing at even writing about it.

So I'll enumerate it —

1) I failed an important exam and I'm scared that I will fail the final one too.

2) I don't know what I feel. I feel something too intensely? But I also feel unable to say it? I feel frozen? But it's not frozen. It's as if I'm choking on the things I wish I could say.

3) I feel stuck and I feel I want to move at the same time. I feel restless.

4) body doubling would help overcome this. I'm really confused.

5) I am having trouble with organising my thoughts or making plans; it's more of a I can definitely make a plan if I tried but I don't know where to start and what to start.

6) I need more friends who have audhd. So I don't feel so alone.

7) I definitely need a study buddy who I can discuss things with and also body double with.

Oh and yes, I love studying but I hate memorising. I can study for hours (inconsistently) but I can't for the love of my life be able to easily make or force myself to memorise things and revision is a struggle of whole another level. So what should I make of this? I wish I had answers.

[hybeboyenthusisast]

➺ fifteen

prev | masterlist | next

written part after, dont miss it!

November 15, 2021

Soobin was pacing nervously in the very farthest corner of the library. He had 30 minutes until his college entrance exam was slotted to begin, and he was freaking out. He had spent weeks studying and preparing, but he woke up that morning feeling as if he knew absolutely nothing. While his friends had reassured him that he was fully prepared and would do great, Soobin did not believe them one bit. This was too important to mess up.

So even as he could very faintly hear his friends goofing off and yelling about god-knows-what, he was reading a textbook and reading aloud to himself quietly. It helped him concentrate, the pacing, kept him moving and his blood flowing while his brain remainded engaged. The library was empty, save for himself, so Soobin really didn't even need to be in the farthest corner.

He wanted as much peace and quiet as possible before the dreaded exam. The school was almost entirely empty, except for the seniors who were there for their entrance exams. The rest of the students were given the day off, so no distractions would disturb the seniors. There wasn't even a librarian in that day, at least as far as Soobin could tell, as she hadn't made her Prescence known in the two hours Soobin had been there.

Soobin's decision to do extra studying that day would be the biggest regret of his young life. If he hadn't been there, or perhaps if you weren't there. Yeah, it wasn't his fault. It was yours.

It started off slowly, Soobin's nose twitching at the sudden intrusion on his senses- something stunk. Stunk bad. The stench had started off so slow, but became so overpowering to Soobin's sensitive nose, that he began evacuating the library. He didn't know what was going on, but if his hunch was right, the Choi twins had snuck into the school and set off a stink bomb in the library.

How unfortunate for him to be correct. He could hear you and your brother snickering just outside the doors as he got closer and closer, determined to get out before the actual stink explosion happened.

He was not in luck.

Soobin swore that the stink bomb was so powerful that he passed out as soon as it fully went out, because all he could remember is walking to the door and then the next, laying on the hallway floor outside the library.

"Come on!" Soobin could hear Beomgyu yelling; the two of you must have been caught in the school. Soobin groggily sat up, slowly becoming more and more aware that he smelled absolutely awful. His eyes widened as he watched you and Beomgyu run across the adjoining hallway, a teacher hot on your trail.

A groan left Soobin as he checked his watch; five minutes until the exam. Soobin shot up in alarm, securing his backpack and racing to the exam. Where did so much time go? Did he really pass out from your stink bomb? He didn't have time to dwell. He needed to take his exam.

The hallway was empty as he approached the room; everyone must have been inside. Soobin knocked on the closed door, unsure if he should simply walk in. The teacher in charge of monitoring the exam opened the door and almost slammed in shut in Soobin's face.

"I'm sorry, you cannot take the exam. You should practice better hygiene."

Soobin didn't need more than those words to know that he stunk so bad that nobody could stand to be stuck in a closed room with him for hours.

Soobin was embarrassed, heartbroken, and he was pissed. The Choi twins were normally harmless, albeit incredibly annoying, but this time they had gone too far. He swore to himself that day, that he would hate the pair of you until the end of time. And if it so happened, maybe one day he would get his revenge.

Loser Taglist : @yangwaa @izzyexe @reiiydained @mackjestic @yawn-zzns @browniestraykidshiteu @n034sy @ladyartemesia @shenquanruii

Permanent Taglist (open): @junnmizz @ashxxgyu​ @igotkpoops​ @xiaoderrrr​ @alyssajavenss @mintxts <3

[imjustforthefandoms]

TWSTOBER DAY 6: RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

Riddle let our a sigh, tapping his pen against the desk. Homework…normally magic history gave him no troubles, but with Halloween approaching, there was a lot more on his mind than just what major wizards were a part of the 100 years war. The lounge still needed proper decorations, getting costumes organized for the dorm, figuring out his own personal costume. As his pencil broke for the third time since he started the work, he let out a groan, dropping his pencil to the ground. This was all too much for the moment. A knock was heard at the door, causing riddle to perk up, straightening out his clothing and hair before speaking. “Come in.” In walked Cater, smiling as usual.

“Hey Riddle. You got a minute? I've got an exam on practical magic next week and I need a study buddy.” He stopped in front of Riddle's desk, noticing the skewed papers and broken pencils. “or…I could ask Trey if your busy.”

“No need for that. As the house warden it's my job to ensure my dorm members stay at their best” Riddle said, trying his best to mask the yawn in his voice. Cater shook his head.

“Nope. Not on my watch. How much stuff are you carrying right now?” Cater questioned, leaning down on Riddle's desk as the younger man let out a sigh.

“After Ace's fiasco with the lounge I've delegated myself to decorating it. I still need to figure out a theme for the dorm itself, as well as costumes. I have not even looked at one for myself yet. Other than that, Professor Trein assigned the class an essay on the 100 years war, and that needs to be completed by the end of next week. But this is nothing that I cannot handle.” Cater hummed softly in thought as Riddle spoke before nodding his head.

“I think I've got just the thing for you” he said, before moving behind riddles desk and pulling out his chair. “What you need is to take a break. You're walking around with all that and you need a MAJOR rest.” Riddle let out a soft scoff.

“I do not need rest, I got a full eight hours of sleep last night as I do every night”

“Noo not physical rest.” Cater replied “Mental. Let your brain chill for a minute before you set it on fire.” a soft sigh left Riddle's mouth, he knew he should finish what was in front of him first, but Cater also wasn't going to let him finish until he rested.

“Alright, and what did you suggest I do for a “mental” break exactly?” Riddle question, looking up at the taller man as he typed a few things in his phone.

“Just relax. Scroll on magicam for a bit. Walk through the botanical garden…oh! There is is!” He shows Riddle a picture, what looked to be a boardgame with colorful pieces along the path. The words “Bring your Own Game” were written in blue text. “The board game club is having their event today. There's gonna be heaps to do. That'll def help you relax.” Riddle hummed in thought. He had gone to the see the club only a handful of times, and even then he had never stayed for any events. Maybe it could be fun.

“alright. I suppose I can give it a chance.” Riddle said, standing up from his chair. Cater let out a triumphant laugh, holding up his phone.

“Now that's what I'm talking about. Come on, let's get a pic of this!” Riddle muffled a chuckle but stood closer to Cater as the phone let out a soft click. “#restforthebest #gaminggenius and post.” He gives Riddle a gentle tap on the back. “Now go out and enjoy yourself. And don't let me catch ya studying, Kay?” Riddle couldn't mask the smile on his face, giving Cater a nod.

“I won't be out all day. Just an hour at most. But I'll take the time to relax” Riddle stepped out of the room. Taking a breath, he made his way down the hall and towards the hall of mirror. A couple of board games, nothing more. And he'll be back in time to finish his essay. Just a short break

Part 2 coming soon!!!!

[666writingcafe]

In the Planetarium (Again)

Belphie

"I heard you passed your potions exam," I tell MC, wrapping an arm around them.

"I almost got an A, but I missed too many questions on the written exam," they respond.

"Even though you studied your ass off?"

"I had a brain fart." I smile.

"Happens to the best of us."

"How did you do on your history exam?"

"I only missed one question."

"Out of how many?"

"200. It was one of the multiple choice questions."

"What other questions were there?" I'm surprised that MC is this curious about the content of my history exam. Then again, they are the academic type, so maybe this stuff genuinely interests them.

"The first hundred were all multiple choice. Fifty of them were short answer, and the other fifty were split evenly across two essay topics."

"That truly is a lot."

"That's Advanced History for you." I pause. "You only have two more exams, don't you?" MC nods their head. "What one are you most nervous for?"

"Speechcraft." Huh. Based on the conversation I overheard between Lucifer and Diavolo the other day, I never would have guessed that.

"How come?"

"Rumor has it that the professor reached out to random people on campus to help administer the practical portion of the exam, which means that they'll be the ones we'll have to seduce."

"That's interesting. Asmo never mentioned having to do that when he took Advanced Speechcraft."

"Apparently the professor wanted to try something new this year. It's all just speculation, though."

"I see."

"What if I get paired with a total stranger? I've never been too good with strangers. I get really shy."

"I'm sure you'll get introduced to them before you begin. Even if it's just, 'this is so-and-so, and they do xyz on campus'. But if you do go into your exam completely blind, start with their appearance. Observe their reactions and use them to hone in on their weaknesses."

"Easy for you to say. You've had thousands of years to practice."

"Don't sell yourself short. This is your second stay in the Devildom, and you're already in advanced classes. That ought to count for something." I glance up at the night sky. "The stars are magnificent tonight."

"There's certainly a lot of them." Right. I forgot. Humans have to deal with light pollution a lot more than we do. Leaning closer to MC, I point to a pair of stars.

"See those two over there?"

"The ones right next to each other?"

"Yeah. Those appeared in the sky over the Devildom after the Great War ended. They're twins."

"Like you and Beel."

"Exactly. They're our stars."

"They don't look like anything I can see back home."

"That's because they're not visible there."

"Do you like having your own star?" I nod.

"I was able to see them when I was in the attic. Whenever I felt completely alone, I would find them and imagine that Beel was sitting right next to me."

"What if we search for our own pair of stars?" That has got to be one of the most romantic things anyone has ever said to me.

"There's one that reminds me of you." I point it out to MC. It's one of the smallest stars in the sky, but it's also one of the brightest.

"It's all of us."

"What?"

"Do you not see the stars surrounding the one you showed me?"

"I'm not seeing what you're talking about, MC." They sigh, clearly exasperated.

"Okay, so there's my star."

"Right."

"And then there's a circle of stars that surround mine."

"Okay..." Where is MC going with this?

"Count the number of stars in that circle."

"What?"

"Just do it, Belphie." I start with the one on top and go clockwise. Sure enough, there's seven stars.

"The one on top is Lucifer's."

"Obviously."

"The yellowish star is Mammon's, and the pinkish star is Asmo's. The one that's almost outside the circle is Levi's. Satan's is at the opposite end of Lucifer. Beel's is the largest, and yours is the one that's closest to me." That actually makes sense.

"I don't think those are visible in the human world."

"That doesn't matter. I'll always have the memory." They put their head on my shoulder and glance up at me, a soft smile on their lips.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Admiring you."

"Me?" MC hums in response.

"You're quite pretty."

"You're not trying to practice on me, are you?"

"No. I genuinely mean it." I try to swallow, but my throat tightens up.

"MC, I..." Dammit. I can't form a complete sentence. MC repositions themselves upright, putting their face a few inches away from mine.

"You don't have to talk," they whisper. Even if I wanted to, I can't. Not coherently, anyway.

They lean in and gently kiss me.

"You know that one isn't enough." MC smiles.

"I know."

[luffythinker]

Love we are Kami-centric here let's go Kamiida

In the ultra impact iPad game Kaminari has a conversation with Iida I think Iida helps him with his homework and Kaminari says he wants Iida to get into reading manga. so he gives him one of his manga and they are gonna have like a manga reading together thing its cute. Smartest student and believed dumbest student, spending time with him Iida can see Kaminari isnt dumb hes actually very intelligent, iida finding out Kami has ADHD and surprsingly Kaminati does a perfect job at making sure his meds are taken it's his electrical powers that do fumbling with his brain is the reason why hes slower than the other students. Next time he sees him using his quirk and he goes brain dead he comforts him instead of watching everyone laugh cause his brain Is in overload and Iida doesn't know what that could possibly feel like so hes there for him. Denki finding out Iida's got a piercing on his body and it's the hottest thing in the world to him. With Bakugo you said Iida would be a little rough Denki likes it rough too so he loves to be ordered around he makes that goofy face and goes Yes sir tenya sir cause hes silly, Iida grabbing his face and kissing him hard the small and tall dynamic! these two have my heart.

YOU HAVE SUCH A BIG BRAIN!!!

The potential for 'best student of the class tutors the student who's failing' AU, with these two!! I actually love that Denki could have ADHD and it could work as a side effect of his quirk, his meds would help a lot I'm sure! I can see Iida helping him study for written exams and stuff, cause he's not that good at memorizing things but Iida tries his best to make it practical and easier to remember. I know you said Denki would like it rough as well, but I think this would be more for sexy~spicy times, so like in general I think he would love being treated gently and with care, like lots of good affirming words after his brain gives up on him after a fight, gentle touches as well, just like very soft aftercare, do we rock with this headcanon?

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 3/14/2023

So. The fanfic.

Man, when I started writing fanfic, I would just think up a story and write it, no plan, only write. It was fun. I think most people write fanfic this way. Anyway, I don't know if my brain broke, or if I just used up all my good material, or what, but the more fanfic I wrote, the more work it takes. I am now a regular outliner, even though I hate it. Anyway, I have reached a new level of Using Things I Learned in English class, in the sense that I think I'm going to actually make a second (third?) draft.

I hate this for me.

Anyway, the upshot is that I've got, like, 90% of the scenes written. There are still 4 that need endings (including the final one), and I think I might need a few more scenes, but I'm not sure exactly what they should be. I have some notes for what they might be. I realized while writing this that the penultimate scene/chapter of a fanfic is often the most important one, and I'm not happy with the one I have, so I gotta figure that out.

In any case, though, the problem I have at the moment is that, partially as a consequence of writing this thing one sentence at a time, is that it's not necessarily coherent. The first thing I need to do is actually read it, top to bottom. Some of the scenes need to get moved around chronologically (I knew this when I wrote them). I need to figure out if this thing has any sort of trajectory or arc to it. If I can do that, I think it will help me figure out what scenes I still need, and how to end the ones I need to end. I am mildly embarrassed, but I think I am going to start yet another doc for this, but maybe if I call it a "draft", it won't be so bad.

I feel like once I get to the other side of this process, I'll have the end in sight and I'll feel a lot better about this thing, but it's very intimidating at the moment. Among the worst writing feelings I have is "there is something wrong with this story and I don't know how to fix it" and I know I have to pass through that valley.

Weekly numbers: Current word count is 15,457 (which includes a few hundred trash words). I guess I didn't write down my exact word count last week, but that somewhere on the order of +2000-2400. I guess that also includes some that were pasted over from the original doc. It doesn't really matter, a lot of those words were hard fought, and I feel okay about the amount of effort I put in this week, especially considering I had other stuff going on. I also wrote 500 words on the spicy fanfic.

I said I was going to draw this week and I didn't do a lot, but I did do a couple of Mike Mignola skull studies. Little P said these were "some cool skulls, Mom", which was nice, since she hated my Menos ("I don't like the hands. I don't like the witch nose. I don't like them.") Anyway, a lot of improvement between sketch 1 and sketch 2 and I finally found an excuse to use my "photocopy error" brushes. Gonna try to do a few more of these, maybe even see if I can manage to do an actual drawing in this style.

Hrrrnnnngggh, did I promise you a preview this week? This would be easier if I had already read the fanfic, the thing I have been dreading.

UGH, brb.

Okay, I'm back, I found one that'll do. If you missed it last week, this story is about the time Rukia and Renji spent at the District 70 Consolidated Shinigami Recruitment Station, trying to get pre-approval to travel north and take the Shin'ou Entrance Exams. The title is either going to be Go Places or Stay with Me, Go Places, I haven't decided yet. Either way, it's after the New Pornographers song that I listened to incessantly while writing this.

They have each been given a set of practice clothing-- sturdy cotton kimonos and hakama. Even though she’s wearing the smallest set Mr. Mochida had, Rukia’s hakama are pulled up under her armpits and still drag on the ground. This is somewhat humiliating.

Renji, on the other hand, looks perfect in his, like whoever invented hakama did so with him in mind. Furthermore, he’s holding an actual wooden practice sword like he died with one in his hands. Renji has been habitually picking up sticks and swinging them around the entire time she’s known him. It is obvious to Rukia that he belongs here, that he was meant for this. His face looks like all his dreams have finally come true.

Mr. Mochida holds his own sword expertly and calmly. “Go ahead,” he says, patiently. 

Renji runs at him swinging.

Mr. Mochida blocks the blow, pushing Renji off to one side. He shakes out his sword arm. “Good. Again.”

Renji has no skill at swords, but he has a lot of enthusiasm, and he has a lot of strength. Mr. Mochida doesn’t seem to have even broken a sweat by the time Renji is panting and exhausted, but he claps her friend on the shoulder and tells him he has a lot of talent.

Don’t tell him that! Rukia wants to scream. He’ll be unbearable!

“You’re next, Miss Rukia.”

Renji comes to take her place on the sidelines as Rukia takes up her own sword. It’s puny compared to the one Renji carries, and it’s still too long for her.

“You can do it,” he tells her. “You just have to push part of yourself into the sword, make it stronger.”

She nods, as if that makes any damn sense.

Rukia tries to imitate Mr. Mochida’s stance, knees slightly bent. She contemplates the weapon in her hands. It’s not a rock or a shard of glass or even a shiv. It’s just for practice, but it’s the size and shape of a weapon and you can certainly hurt someone with it. You and me, Rukia thinks at the sword. We can do some damage, you and me.

Push part of yourself into the sword. Maybe that’s not such nonsense after all.

She charges.

[nickelstudy]

My JLPT N1 Study Method (& Plan)

9/25/2023

As my introduction said, I'm trying to pass N1 by the next JLPT exam which is in this December! In this post, I will share how I study or prepare for N1

Books I Bought

Nihongo Sou Matome Vocabulary N1

TRY! 日本語能力試験Ｎ1

GO! JLPT N1 Grammar(Translated from Shin Kanzen Master i hate the renaming sm)

They are translated into Thai.

If you want to improve your Japanese understanding, people might recommend buying the Japanese version when you are at an intermediate level. But personally, I can completely understand it better when it's explained in my mother tongue, hence the reason why I bought them (plus I'm broke)

I bought them 2 months ago!

I start with TRY! and Sou Matome by reading the vocabs first from Sou Matome, then move on to TRY! doing their exercise as much as my brain can handle, usually not over a chapter.

Here's what my notebook looks like

As you can see, nothing fancy– just a pencil and a sticky note. I write words I don't or barely understand at the top of every page. As for the sticky note, it's for the words from the seventh day of Sou Matome that I can't remember their meanings. You might notice I didn't write their meanings. It's because I want to challenge myself to recall their meanings without relying on written translations.

I also READ the TRY! book in advance, so I'm always ahead of my actual exercise. Why you may ask? It came from when I read the N4 book. I always carried it everywhere because reading it was fun! So I'm trying to keep up this habit (despite taking more effort than before). When I read sample sentences, I try to translate them into Thai by myself before looking at the translations, because I want to practice my interpretation/translation skills too! (It'll definitely be useful in the future).

After finishing TRY! I will start reading GO! JLPT. Hopefully, I can finish this before the exam date.

OH! One thing I forgot to mention, I haven't done the listening exercises in TRY!. The reason is simple, it's a bit of a hassle to use a DVD player so I want to do them altogether when I am done reading GO! JLPT. I use Kanji Study (Play Store only) for studying Kanji. Right now, I'm studying secondary 3's kanjis. Believe it or not, it has been a year since I started learning secondary 3 and never managed to make progress.

Future Plans

There can be a rare case where I finish these books earlier than I expect so here's what I should do (by that, I mean you definitely should because god those books don't cover the skill adequately)

日本語能力試験　対策問題＆必点整理　読解 Ｎ1 This book is incredible imo, because it explains the answers to every question which made me thoroughly understand it when I was studying for N2

Shin Kanzen Master 聴解 Ｎ1

These will be the books I borrow from my university's library. They are in Japanese too that's why I love borrowing from here! I think the CD resource can be found online because that's what I did for N2.

Lastly, if there is still time I'll take a mock exam from the official JLPT handbook.

AAAA Thank you for reading again. I will try to use this blog for archiving my knowledge and stuff like this more. See you in the next post!

[lucysarah-c]

Hey Lucy

I read that you obtained your English proficiency test, and I wanted to ask you this:

How did you improve your English through the years, not just for the test but in general.

I am planning to take an english test too. Wish me luck 😅

Hi love! How are you?

I obtained that test, yes!

In general, I feel like I always give the same advice BUT it's because they truly helped me.

I started talking to people who were either English speakers or people who we couldn't communicate in other languages when I was 14 because I wanted to interact with people from the fandom, writers etc. That helped me improve a lot really quickly. Don't be scared to write or talk like if you're a chimpance, we all have been there, done that. I promise you that you wished you took the step sooner. The only person stopping you from talking even if it's wrong is your own fear of failure. Once you realize that it's like free practice until the exam, you won't be scared anymore.

Then watch shows in English with English subtitles. I swear on this, at the beginning it will be hard, it will be annoying, etc. But soon your brain will start to do the process of associating "written word" in the subtitles with "pronunciation". Therefore, you'll start to catch on pronunciation, easy everyday use of quotes, comebacks, etc.

Read, read in English, talk in English, do everything you can in that language. I like really "heavy literature books' ' and when I decided to start to read them in English, at first it was extremely hard and now I highlight words that I don't know to add to my personal dictionary. (words that I later on use on Holy Ground lol)

About the exam, I honestly hated that I spent money on classes for that exam. I was bored 24/7. The classes were too slow and I wasn't really "learning" English because I already had all the vocabulary, listening and pronunciation from the previous points. English exams don't test your "knowledge" of English, they test your capability of "solving their exams as they want you to solve it". Believe me, save money and use youtube videos that will teach you how to "solve" the exam, practice to do it quickly when the time comes and done. I learned more about listening and pronunciation watching Peaky Blinders than in an IELTS course. 

I'm aware that I don't come across as native and people who read HG probably find Millions of mistakes or even find it "childish" or "not complex to read at all". But also I've been told that they can tell I'm not native because my way of transmitting feelings in English is not how "English speakers do" because I sound more "romantic" and maybe that's my Spanish soul speaking. Learn English to communicate and connect, study to pass an exam, enjoy discovering new ways to express your heart. That's what I do.

I hope it helps!

[meloncolliemovies]

POOR THINGS (2023)

Director: Yorgos Lanthimos

Emma Stone (Bella), Mark Ruffalo (Duncan Wedderburn) ,Godwin Baxter (Willem Dafoe)

2.5/5

REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS

TW// SEX, RAPE, RACISM (?)

The primary discourse I've heard about this film has been due to an inaccurate perspective on female empowerment through a cis male's eye, which I completely agree with. This film does miss the mark on what could be a truly empowering piece of art. However, in terms of cinematography, performance and mise en scene, it is stunning, visually interesting and quirky. I am always excited by steampunk stylistic choices, and Lanthimos creates a strange reality through this style. I especially give props to the costume design, it is really great in this film. I also really did enjoy the use of CGI, and that is unusual for me as I often prefer practical effects.

I would like to say this film was successful with it's ideas on feminism, which I'm sure many of you are talking about, but it also has a weak narrative ending, which unfortunately brings down my review and leads me to believe it is not successfully empowering. Viewers are led to believe that Bella Baxter will go on to become a doctor as soon as she quite literally declares to Godwin her interest in science and health. We are also led to believe that she goes on to become highly educated, finding joy in reading and studying, however, one thing that Lanthimos forgot to portray was the viewers actually being able to see this? By the end, we simply hear about her anatomy exam, she is not shown to do anything scientifically phenomenal, as we believe she will. The fact it is a film portraying feminism means it is important we see female success, but we don't. Another thing that makes this film fail on the womanhood mark is her final joys, she only finds happiness in a domestic setting or during sex, and her eventual happiness is set in an idyllic household where she orders other women about, and simply watches in domestic bliss, which just furthers the idea that women will not be successful unless they use their body or are told what to do. In terms of this film as a queer piece of art, I think Lanthimos was unsuccessful in showing the power of female on female sexuality, as despite Bella clearly enjoying her sex with Toinette, it is barely touched upon, and empowerment is not just found in pleasurable sex, despite what Lanthimos shows.

Another thing I would like to mention in 'Poor Things', is the lack of successful representation. I found the two black characters to be very two-dimensional, with Harry being an extreme pessimist, and Toinette being an extreme socialist who is just used for Bella's empowerment, suggesting that women can only have successful sex with other women, which in ways is accurate, but not entirely true. There is also a lack of successful representation of disability within this film, with unnecessary use of the r slur, and the one other disabled character we see, the man with a hook for his hand, his only plot device being that he gets beaten up by Duncan, a straight white man.

However, Mark Ruffalo and Emma Stone do an incredible job of portraying an exaggerated character, which made it much more interesting to witness as a film. As well as this, anyone with any media literacy can make judgement towards the Frankenstein allusions, and I believed them to be pretty successful, especially in the portraying of Wedderburn as Victor Frankenstein, and Godwin as well, God, which twisted the usual narrative of what is may I mention, an amazing book which stands the test of time, written by a woman. :)

My first reaction to this movie by the end, was that "it seemed like a film aimed for women, but made by a man." and it holds true. Bella is a wonderfully eccentric character to watch, however she continues to be infantilised throughout her sexual journey, and the fact she has a newborn brain is not touched upon well enough as a sensitive and difficult issue to navigate in her relationship with Wedderburn and with sex. Furthermore, the movie makes no attempts to make her seem like an adult woman apart from the physical appearance of her body. She has no menstrual cycle, she doesn't get pregnant, she doesn't get an STI and she has minimal body hair, which just further infantilises her, even into her prostitution journey, and is unrealistic. When I first watched this part of the movie, I thought that portrayal of her choice in sex work was successful. It was an empowering way of portraying sex work, however now I have thought about it more I believe that Lanthimos fails to give her any other choice, she is raised around sex and sexual nature, and gets no choice in the matter realistically.

This movie was an unfortunate failure for me, as I was excited. I find Lanthimos style constantly hot or cold, and I often think his narratives and ideas are unique in a way which is perhaps lost on me and many alike. Poor Things was unfortunately, not for me.