#i'm still sick as hell
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bby where are you!??
Patroclus: Max has just gotten into this neat little phase called ‘sleep regression’ so we’ve been busy.
#asks#achilles#patroclus#max#[sorry this is a quick little doodle I just wanted to give a little update I'm still here!]#[I've been doing a lot of writing so art's been on the back burner for a few weeks]#[Also I'm sick as hell rn so updates are gonna be a little slow but I'm going to try and answer what's in my inbox with text]#[I started working on their wedding pictures right before I got sick so once I'm better I'll finish that too for a previous ask!]
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Aww hell nah
Chibi Hannibal or so I think so...
#the obsession never went away#its only getting worse day by day#i want someone to spam and scream into my ear to finish this or I'll likely abandon this like my other projects due to lack of motivation...#I'm still sick of them btw ugh#murder husbands#nbc hannibal#will graham#hannibal#hannigram#hannibal nbc fanart#hell yeah#avel's art
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just a boy, snacking on his onigiri and milk box his big sister prolly packed for him
#also ate an onigiri myself earlier (god i want more....)#im still sick as HELL BTW!!! i can't concentrate on drawing too long#i aggravated my throat infection yesterday and now i'm paying the price by having consecutive coughing fits SHASHHAS#imma try to sleep now. hopefully i wont have another coughing fit HSAHSHASH#my art#2024#haikyuu!!#haikyu!!#haikyuu#haikyu#hq#hq!!#kageyama tobio#tobio kageyama#haikyuu kageyama#art#fanart#digital art#digital drawing#sketch#doodle#anime#manga
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“I don't know you anymore. Anakin, you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow!”
STAR WARS: EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH & ARCANE S02E03
#force choke your pregnant wife or pistol-whip the girl who you've been through hell and back with?#...#😭💔😭#it's not even funny anymore#but there's more to come!#although this is the most painful one#like the tears in my girls eyes????#both anakin AND caitlyn having a micro expression of regret and still going down this dark and almost without return path???#something something the history book on the shelf is always repeating itself FR#i'm going to be sick#anakin skywalker#caitlyn kiramman#padme amidala#vi#anidala#caitvi#star wars#revenge of the sith#rots#arcane#season 2#parallels#arcane x star wars
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Close ups on the pocket details!!! I'm SUPER happy w how the top pockets look 😳😳😳
I think the variety of pride pins with the moral panic button/Mr Faggot beadwork just. Really sells it. Shadow the Hedgehog voice Pee Your Pants. If you're going to be a shithead about me I'm going to be really annoying and do a bit about it. Plus the little golden angel pin... ALSO really pulls the whole thing together. "God help you" Right in front of my guardian angel? Really? 😒And how could I not make mention of. The Skull. I love you The Skull. It's a button (not sewn on yet, pinned) that I filled the details in w nail polish. Oh yeah! Besides the bottle cap pins (acrylics sealed with mod podge and a prayer), the biggest addition there is the chain lining the pocket flap! I think it looks SO SLICK
The pansy was gonna go on the queer side, but then I got the boutonniere idea! And I think it looks nice! Kinda adds to the asymmetry of the floral print/plaid blocking. And... of course.... I have... my friends...... 🥺 Biggest additions here are the glow-star pentagram pin, soda tabs and the heart locket!
I don't really have many new additions to the bottom pockets. Not yet! The only thing I did was stitch one side of the handcuff chain, and rearrange the pins holding up the other side. The cuffs/scorpion was just an impulse addition before going to a concert. But I do like it! And it looks even better now! Meanwhile, that other pocket, I actually have no idea what I'll do. Sakura is just there cause she matches really well, esp w the angel pin actually!
#punk tag#diy punk#my projects#I FORGOT I USED THAT TAG .#also i AM gonna put patches on this thang I PROMISE. I WAS TOO SCARED LAST RUN. THIS RUN. WILL BE DIFFERENT.#again still waiting. but i really really wanted to show off/talk about the details!!!!!#i have sooooo many Thoughts behind this jacket like. an entire ideology. it almost feels like drag in a way#like! in the sense that there's a performance and art going on here. if my existence is inherently controversial#then i'm gonna lean into that. make you sit with that. and i'm NO LONGER CUTE ABOUT IT#<- guy who called himself cute yesterday bc I LOOKED REALLY GOOD. IT WAS AWESOME. OKAY#i forget i have a body and a face so much.#also! the cuffs!!! feel like a slight nod to the kink community. like. i really do feel like the demonization of kink#is the reason why so much. everything is so bad. i have thoughts about this but i can't fully articulate them rn#but like. points at the sign that says all queerness and esp queer expression is kink in the eyes of bigots#points at the sign that those are my friends you asshole. it might even be me. who knows....#any which way! really coming together! i do really need to get studs though i think. the. horrors.#and also i'll look sick as hell.#rn i feel it's... well. not exactly subtle but i am fortunate to live in a safe area. i live in mind your own business state.#not like. saying that to you i mean like that's the general attitude where i live LMFAOOO#the worst i've gotten is a lady saying 'god help you' to me in passing. and that was really recent#an indication of ohhh changing tides. unsettling. but also she couldn't even look me in the eye when she said that lmfao#any which way! i am thinking of my safety but also i do feel like i'm lucky enough to have time.#my jacket
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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I can't believe I spent three days in England and in that time completely forgot to tap every light fixture and shake every bush in the search of hint coins and not a SINGLE person just completely unprompted made me solve a puzzle before they would give me my breakfast/let me into the museum I wanted to go into/showed me where my seats at the theatre were/replaced the souvenir program I knocked water onto/etc.
#professor layton#england#the only hint coin i have now is my game case holder#which... is sick as hell#and extra cool because afaik i'm the only human being who has one#but STILL#also the closest I came to a stranger giving me a puzzle#was the day of the eurocup when a group of girls ran up to us and yelled “WHO'S GOING TO WIN THE CUP?!”#and we had to yell back “WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO'S PLAYING”#bet if i had a hint coin to spare it would have told me it was england vs spain#queue takumi defense squad
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Exciting thing tomorrow! Exciting thing tomorrow!!
#spotatalk#this can be interpreted as the new year coming in but#ironically that isn't what I'm on about haha!#i'll have to doodle about it ig?#i have Big Plans#and it will probably involve N's human design!!!#can't wait to terrorize my beloved bestie w/ it when we meet up too...#no way in hell she's expecting it#anyways frfr update: still sick af 🫶 powering through
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I was on the edge of my seat chewing the scenery and errant soda cans.
Damn that roleplay was SO GOOD. More of that please!
#critical role#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#c3e95#Bells Hells#Laudna#Orym of the Air Ashari#Ashton Greymoore#Imogen Temult#even outside of the back end this episode had A Lot of good little snibblets#been shoveling a mountain of crumbs into my mouth with this entire night of RP#Scream Needle would've been SO good against enemy mages due to increasing the DC of concentration checks RIP#but this is an amazing trail to go down#I have so many things to say aaaa#even with how tense it was in the back half it was still oddly relaxing?#Orym and Laudna are having a spooky showdown and I'm like “wow I feel so rejuvenated right now”#and I'm so happy Ashton finally rolled well enough to steal something from Fearne after a huge drought#so proud of them#I still think it's funny that it's only been like a week and Ashton got sick and tired of his superhero outfit#so they made everyone get new duds so they didn't have to wear it anymore
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Ayy it's been a hot sec since I promo'd a group art project I was in hasn't it - I'm happy to say that dry spell is now over with the release of the Umbral Wings kickstarter, the second dragon tarot project I've gotten to be a part of!
I'm actually a little late sharing the info on this one, the kickstarter itself is already nearly funded and is at about $8 out of 9k with 26 days to go, but there's still plenty of time to hop in there and grab this snazzy deck! If you've ever gotten one of these collaborative tarot decks you know they're Gorgeous and this one is no different, so be sure to check it out if awesome dragon art is of interest to you!
#fr this deck is sick as hell if you've seen the first deck you know what i'm talking about#the first one was radiant scales btw should still be on kickstarter if you're curious about that campaign#anyways proof I have actually been doing art in the past few months! XD#umbral wings#tarot#i'm real proud of this one I had a lot of fun on this dragon the wings especially were a treat~#kickstarter#my art#doodles#dragons
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Okay but forreal, now more than ever I desperately NEED Aya to eventually wreck Fyodor's shit somehow. I already wanted her to get her revenge before, but I didn't think Fyodor would even remember or know who she was, and would massively underestimate her for that reason (just like Jouno knew that Fukuchi would underestimate her). But now the story has instead created this twisted, fucked-up dynamic between them, where Fyodor not only knows her, but is protective of her for reasons that are not his own: he has taken the pure, noble, kind, fatherly love motivating Bram to protect Aya and warped it into something horrific, vowing to protect her body only while not caring how much her heart and mind has been scarred, and claiming to be doing it for her own salvation, when he cannot possibly understand the selfless feelings Bram had that made him want to protect her and care for her — feelings that he does not have. He may genuinely have some sort of affection for children (the way he treated Karma, "blessings for the children", this), but it is twisted and hollow and is quite possibly only him unconsciously acting out the motions due to behavior instilled in him from the feelings of all the people he's subsumed in the past.
All this is to say that, now the narrative has specifically pitted Aya and Fyodor together as direct enemies: she not only had reason already to hate him because he killed Bram, but because he's also taken Bram's love for her and defiled it, dishonored it and him and all that he was; meanwhile, Fyodor has given himself an arch nemesis that he no doubt takes great pleasure in seeing how much she hates him/how much despair he's brought her, but paradoxically at the same time feels a compulsion to "protect" her that draws himself to her and that he can't ignore. Aya has to defeat him somehow (not permanently, mind you; Dazai will undoubtedly be his final end), and the setup for Bram being able to fight back enough to stop Fyodor from the inside with her help is all right there, too. Their love for each other is still enduring, stronger than ever, Fyodor is proof of that right now, and they will be able to defeat him together, at least enough that Bram can be freed and come back to Aya. Dazai told Fyodor that he would lose because he doesn't understand and underestimates the power of friendship bonds and love, and there is no better a time for that to happen than here, when he is literally using someone's strong love for and connection with someone (acting as that person and claiming to know how they feel and to be the same as them) in a way that he cannot understand, which will be his undoing.
#bungou stray dogs#bsd 115#bsd spoilers#bsd 115 spoilers#this post brought to you by me spamming two steps from hell songs because i need to be hyped up and to feel something#the lyrics to 'star sky' are very bsd (especially right now) okay just listen to it#anyway aya is gonna fuck fyodor up i see the vision LET ME COOOOOK#I SEE ASAGIRI'S COOKING AND I'M STIRRING THE POT#PICKING UP WHAT HE'S PUTTING DOWN#BOY THAT WHOLE PART MADE ME FEEL LITERALLY ILL AND WANTING TO KMS BUT THE PAYOFF IS GONNA BE SO GOOD JUST WATCH#i had the copium after last chapter but IT'S FORMING NOW WE SEEING IT COMING TOGETHER TRUST#GIVING FYODOR AND AYA A TOXIC FUCKED UP FATHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP OOOHHHH............ PURE EVIL BUT I'LL GLADLY BE SICK FOR A WHILE#IF IT MEANS THE REUNION AND RAT SMACKDOWN IS ALL THE MORE SATISFYING!!!!!!!!!!#AYA AND BRAM GET HIS ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS#THAT RAT BASTARD COULDN'T RECOGNIZE A LOVING PARENT CHILD RELATIONSHIP IF IT HIT HIM IN THE FACE#(narrator: this statement would come back to haunt her)#HOW DARE YOU STAND WHERE HE STOOD AND TRY TO BE HIM!!!!!!!! YOU WILL NEVER!!!!!!!!!!#BRAM'S LOVE FOR HER IS STILL IN THERE AND I'M MORE THAN A LITTLE EMOTIONAL OVER IT#HE'S GONNA COME BACK SHE'S GONNA FUCK FYODOR UP THEY'RE GONNA DO IT TOGETHER WITH THE POWER OF LOVE BABYYYYYY#*kingdom hearts 3 woody voice* because hE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT HEARTS AND LOVE!!!!!!!!
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Every once in a while I think about the ship I've been obsessed over for close to two years now and feel like I'm ascending to another plane of reality. Like sometimes you just encounter a ship that hits every single mark and is perfect in every regard and you're left stunned how something like that can even exist
#Anyways I'mma put the actual inane ramblings in the tags#Medic and Engie make me so ill every time I think about them for a while I feel like tearing into things and biting people and throwing up#How something like that can exist completely defies me#I don't know how something that perfect can exist#I'm typically a multi-shipper and while I still kinda am I honest to god don't really care to write other ships#Not cause they ain't good (they are pretty damn good) but because Engiemedic is just on another level#Like dammnnn!! that's why I've spent so long writing a fic about them!#I can't fathom it honestly how characters like that can exist#They're like a slightly warped reflection of themselves#They're both intelligent mentally ill lunatics with no morals whatsoever#The only thing is that Engie is marginally better at hiding it#If you go into headcanon territory than WHOO!! OHH DAMNNN#Like what gets me the most about Engiemedic is how they're so similar#They think and exist on the same wavelength#In tune with each other. Their neurons braided like wires#If I start talking about how the machine and the flesh are not opposites but rather one in the same we gonna be here all day#I just can't...believe the ship exists#Like man how does this happen#You want humour? Goofy wacky experiments and silliness of them violating several conventions#You want angst? Hell yeah they've got plenty of it#Fluff? Buddy I start wailing and sobbing if they accidentally brush hands while working on stuff#I could write about them for ages and not get bored they can fit in every circumstance#They make me SICK they make me CRAZY I love them so so much#They would do anything for each other#I look at what they have and I can feel like I understand what love is#I need to write more oneshots and minifics about them they're so flexiable and fun#Can't wait to do parallels with them in these upcoming chapters#Either way GODDDDD I love these two so much I could go on for hours about them#especially if I'm allowed to talk about headcanons#sp-rambles
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me making settrigh more honey badger than wolverine + giving him an addiction to sugar & sweets + reading about how honey badgers actually do have a sweet tooth, hence their name
#✘ — [ ooc ]#i already knew this information#i was the weird kid growing up that watched animal planet 13 hours of the day#but i didn't put two and two together until now. this development happened in that order.#i was doing research for something else and stumbled across that and was like 'oh yeah'#i really took that little tidbit of information ( sett asking k'sante for his cake shake recipe ) and ran with it —#i still think he shares more characteristics with honey badgers in general but#idk regardless what you think you can still call him a weasel.#anyway i've been SICK as hell and not in the cool way#i even had to call off work the other day#idk what it is#just assuming it's a cold since i work outside.#but i've been taking robitussin and it's been kicking my ass.#i've been sleeping a lot and when i'm not i'm trying to get the house ready for new roommate in january.#so just been#busy.#but i've been on discord !! and i think i'm starting to feel better#so hopefully i'll be around a little more from here on out.#might just work on some short lil asks#somethin easy you know#anyway#happy holidays — whatever you celebrate.#and if you don't: happy wednesday.#catch me on disco in the meantime !!
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oh freckle, freckle⠁.. what makes you so s p e c i a l?
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH#IM SORRY THIS SONG DOES SO MANY BAD THINGS TO ME#other than the metal style cover / weezers sweet dreams r made of these / poppunk dancing queen this is THERMBADBIHTHEMESONG#THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS IS THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SONG BITCH#like OH FRECKLE FRECKLE WHAT MAKES U SO SPECIAL#HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO#MY HEARTS IN HEAVEN MY SOLES ARE HEEEEEELLLLL LETS ME IN THE PURAGATORY OF MY HIPPPPPPPPPPPPPS#AND GET WELL ;)))))))#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HYYYYYYYHHHH BITCH#I KNOW THIS WAS A SPICY GREENHOUSE MAKEOUT SONG I AM SCREAMING VERY LOUD IN MY HEAD RN#*jerseykyle vc* i'm gonna ( leave you ) I'm Gonna TEACH you#HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL NOOOOOO#IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII KNOOOOOOOOOOOO IT WAS GOING *NEW PERSPECTIVE VC* DOOOOOOOOWN DOWN DOooOOWWN#ALSO WAITER ARTIST MODEL SINGER IS LITERALLY CDS WHOLE EXPERIENCE TRYING TO MAKE IT IN THE BUSINESS#SPECIFICALLY RAVENSTAN GOING FROM WAITERING AT CHEFS RESTURANT TO COCKTAIL WAITERING AT RUFFIANS#MAKING MUSIC ON THE SIDE AND BASICALLY BEING A SOLD OUT TO THAT WHOLE CLUB AND BEING PUNK ROCK#~SUPERMODELITBOY~ AND ET TENS WHOLE BRAND AND HIS LIL PLAYTHING AND BEING A SINGER BUT...GOD...WAS IT WORTH IT????? WAS. IT. WORTH. IT.#DONT TALK TO ME HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC MAKES ME MISERABLE HE JUST WANTED TO SING#AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! YOURE RAVEN YOURE NO ONES DAUGHTER MIDNIGHT SUN BUT YOUR WINGS ARE STILL CLIPPED; YOU CANT FLY#YOU SING BUT IT FALLS ON DEAF EARS! COVER BOY ON THE PAGE! A PACIFIST AND ALL THE RAGE!! ALL THE WORLDS A STAGE#BUT GOLD OR NOT; AT THE END OF THE DAY ITS JUST A CAGE PRETTY BIRD - AND YOU BUILT IT YOURSELF BABY!!! YOU! BUILT! IT! YOURSELF! BARS BItcH#thats my son My Son mY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOON it also has such a sexcC nitelub jerseykyle back beat hEEEEELLLO#i could talk about this for such a long time i LOVE this song#*jk having going crazy but divine intervention on his bathroom floor after a bad stan episode and ed episode head on toliet vc*#MAMA? IF WE DONT TAKE THE MEDICATION...WE WONT SLEEP FOR DAYS? MAMA...IF WE PRAY TO THE LORD#DOES HE SING ON STAGE?????? oOOOOOOOOOOUGH IM SICK AND I KNOW HES SEEING STARS AND SMILES AND PRETTY EYES AND UGLY LAUGHES#AND A BOY HE HASNT SEEN IN YEARS BUT HE SEES EVERYDAY OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH IM SICK#I WANT TO BE GOLDEN IN YOUR MEMORY!!!!!!!! SIIIIIIIICK!!! SICK AND FUCKING TWISTED!!!!! SHUT UP AAAAAaAAAAaA#IM IN HELL jk swirling his drink trying to look uninterested *after party fb vc* watching rstan work the room like#oh freckle freckle what makes You so special? and then raven waves and winks at him and trips bc hes an idiot and jk is like AAAAAA SIIIIIC
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Hoo boy, drank water and am taking so much poison damage. Augh ough urgg ohhgh
#pikaposts#medical anomaly blogging#i hate when WATER makes me sick. like are you kidding me?? what the hell is wrong with me#i brought this up to my GI doc and she was baffled and brushed me off and i'm still kind of mad about it#like you aren't even gonna tell me it's psychosomatic?? am i that fucked?#bleh.
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so i'm pretty sure at this point that my roommate gave me the cold she's had for the last few days and honestly the worst part about me personally being sick is how quickly it shuts down my enjoyment of any kind of kink stuff. like come on, i'm supposed to be into this!! this is not fair!!!
#it is in fact just a cold we are both testing and taking precautions!!#and it's not even like a really bad cold rn my throat's just a little sore and i've got a sinus headache but i hate it so much!!!#never feel more neurodivergent than when i'm sick like no one look at me no one talk to me don't touch me don't perceive me#i'm in sensory hell i just want to sit here alone until i either recover or die thanks so much#so if i'm not on much for the next few days that's what's up#still working on both the new years eve au and the campfire fic!! but they are probably gonna be on the back burner for a minute#and frankly my vanilla wips folder is cheering lol#prayer circle that this stays mild and passes quickly and i can get back to my regularly scheduled being horny!!#witchyrants
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