#i'm still scared for school
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wanderingmind867 · 3 months ago
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I suppose me stressing out about school isn't that weird. I haven't done full in-person school days since 2019. And knowing this is my last possible year of school sort of makes my existentialism about time kick in. I'm going to be 20 in February. I'll be a 20 years old with no friends besides my dad, and with a severe dependency on my dad.
But my crippling fear of being judged for my horrible temper and moods and interests keeps me too closed off to even make friends. So I'm pretty much suffering an existensial crisis, pining for time to just stop. If I could only remain at 18 or 19 forever, I could accept that. But the more things change, the more I feel this crisis affecting me. It's not great. sigh...
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deathricedrawn · 4 months ago
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i'm ready to try
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lunabug2004 · 4 months ago
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Ya'll don't get me wrong, I love love love fluffy series. I mean, MSP is my favorite series of all time! BUT, that being said, I really hope that GeminiFourth stay paired long enough to have a darker BL plot together. We know from MC that they can pull off angst really, really well, so one of my main hopes as a Gem4th stan is seeing them together long enough to be able to enjoy at least one BL with them as the mains that has a darker plot.
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deoidesign · 6 months ago
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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bunnieswithknives · 2 years ago
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A few people have asked about the alive version of the duo
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call-me-copycat · 3 months ago
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I just need to be told "You Can Do It" right now.
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cowardlycowboys · 8 months ago
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birth certificate came in and I'm obsessed that I was born at exactly 7:59 like what an odd number
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donttouchmeillkillyou · 24 days ago
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ABSOLUTE TERRITORY ‼️‼️🩵☀️
youtube
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dollfishu · 2 years ago
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Can’t help but think how Kalego does his weird wing-like bangs just like Narnia. I was re-reading Kalego Gaiden and I noticed how his signature bangs weren’t a part of his ‘schtick’ as a child.
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Nor at the time when he was chosen to be the next watchdog of Babyls.
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At first I thought everyone in the Naberius clan might have the same hairstyle as Narnia and current adult Kalego, but Kalego’s Uncle didn’t. It’s just an adorable fluffy and messy tuft. (I’m not counting the horn-like cowlicks since these are a signature trait of all the Naberius’s as confirmed by Osamu Nishi)
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During his time as a student in Babyls, you can see a bit of a ’style change’ in his hair.
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Even the thought of changing his hairstyle from the one he is currently adopting was out of the question!
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During the flashback sequence after Opera’s punch, he remembers his older brother’s words:
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Narnia being the first person he thought off before he was about to ‘lose consciousness’ means that he obviously holds him in extremely high regard and respect. All younger brothers admire their older siblings. 
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Osamu Nishi confirmed that the Naberius household consists of Kalego, Narnia, their uncle, and their father. Since it is evident that their father worked in Border Patrol that means he clearly wouldn’t have the time to take care of his children. Also assuming that their is no Naberius mother in the equation, and knowing that the Uncle is an irresponsible deadbeat, the brunt of the household was left on Narnia’s shoulders. Being the eldest sibling holds enough responsibility on its own with a level of duty and dependability that comes with it.
This is why Kalego obviously sees Narnia as a responsible, calm and collected individual. Even their Uncle was intimidated by his authoritarian behavior.
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Essentially, almost all younger siblings have the innate desire to mimic their older sibling. They want to look like them, act like them and mostly want their approval. The first time Kalego fully adopted Narnia’s hairstyle with the side swept bangs were during his youngin days as a school-teacher trainee. Ponytail included.
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And in the end we ended up with the full package (sans ponytail):
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That’s why a part of me is extremely fearful about how Kalego would react if Narnia were to have returned to his demonic origins. It would be a major blow to him seeing the person whom he follows by example reduced to someone that succumbed to primal desires. His older brother, Narnia, whom he placed on a pedestal, whose existence is probably vital for his own sense of self - has let him down. I can't even imagine the whirlwind of emotions he will go through if that were true...
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wanderingmind867 · 3 months ago
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Trying to think of a plus side to going back to school, considering my stress over not really having a notes app, having stomach issues and being stuck going for full days from 7/8 am to 2 pm. So that's all stressful. But i think i found one slight positive: if i can get past my stomach pain and tough it out for a full day, mahbe i'll actually manage to have a lot of time for reading. That'd be nice. That might mean I get more time to read stuff. So maybe it'd reinvigorate my hyperfixation in Percy Jackson and stuff. That might be considered a loose plus. But i have to hope i can still manage to make notes about the book as I read at school.
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cirqueduroyale · 7 months ago
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what about the future designs do you not like specifically? I think they look really nice, especially when claudette has a mime pattern skirt to really compliment her yellow jacket! do they just not "fit" the characters quite yet? maybe her jacket can have bright red polka dots!
Thanks!
mmm, I think it's mostly Charlie. I'm never satisfied with his future designs. He kind of just ends up looking like Kingston with curlier hair.
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I also generally don't think about what the Cirque characters would be doing beyond this first year of them ruling, which is the comic, so I'm like, wait no, you're not supposed to be older than this even though it's been 8 years and I'm now the same age as Kingston and Penelope. Time just keeps happening. 😨
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themintman · 3 months ago
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yall y'all y'all I always forget that like. I post public art. On a public account. Like I don't realise that people actually SEE my art or think about it or whatever. Bbut. My GOODNESS. this month I have seen my art in the wilderness and I AM. TERRIFIED???? HELLO???? PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT MY PUBLIC ACCOUNT????? it's so scary goodness me. ANYWAYS KNOW THAT IF YOUVE REFRENCED MY ART AT ALL I DO KNOW. I HAVE SEEN IT AND I AM PROBABLY FREAKIG THE FUCK OUT GOODNESS ME. IM JUST TOO SCARED TO RESPOND BEYOND LIKE. A LIL EMOJI REACTION. HHH
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coquelicoq · 25 days ago
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perhaps it is pointless to go to a bakery in the dead of afternoon. however i am craving pastries so this is what it has come to. also i only have one marker and it's about to die so i have to make an appearance at the art supply store but i am not putting on a bra for this. post of getting myself to dress and leave the house.
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punk-dad-sharkz · 5 months ago
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i hope every person who makes fun of food allergies has a warm pillow on both sides and has wet socks forever and ever. I hope they have a paper cut and then get lemon juice on it.
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guinevereslancelot · 3 months ago
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decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy
#literally can't work with my new boss bc i can't trust her#she went to the head of the department with complaints abt me without ever speaking to me or giving me any indication she was unhappy#and various other reasons im not happy w management and the school in general#HOWEVER#i love the kids sm and im gonna miss them and worry abt them 😭😭😭😭#im literally scared for some of them bc it feels like the other teachers have no empathy for some of my favorite kids#one of them who is so so sweet and when he cries i'm the girst to comfort him bc everyone else thinks he needs to toughen up 😭#also my new boss sucks so so bad and is gonna be such a bad influence on him and all the other kids#and my main co teacher said she's gonna quit if i do so i cant even beg her to look out for my babies and take care of them 😭💔#and it would be unprofessional to mention any concerns to the parents but genuinely some of the kids would be better off elsewhere#like im actually worried about it#i dont want some of the really sweet sensitive kids to lose their sweetness bc they're being treated unkindly#and the worst bullies and spoiled kids are the ones the teachers dote on#so it encourages some of the sweet ones to act out for attention#anyway 💔#i really do need to go tho#and i'm sure i'll love the kids at my new job#but im so sadddd#also its unlikely i can find a well paying job w this age group even tho i love this age group#its basically impossible not to get attached to them at this age and i get to pick them up and hold and cuddle them and stuff#and you cant really do that with the older kids sadly#literally on the verge of tears even seriously thinking abt leaving#things have been p bad for a while due to management but i never seriously considered leaving bc i love the kids so much#but i literally can't see a future here#and my new boss clearly hates me and im worried she's going to try to get me fired#she already made up a bunch of lies about me and its only been three weeks#anyway i only make 15 an hour so hopefully i'll at least get more somewhere else and i know i'll still love the kids#its just really hard#which is why i've stayed this long#i was p unhappy before my new boss even started bc of the way they treated my old boss
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allthegothihopgirls · 3 months ago
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having to advocate for myself is so SCARY..... what do you mean i'm in a situation where i HAVE to explain and defend myself to get things i probably definitely need.... instead of just flying under the radar and struggling
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