#i'm still alive just took an extended break

[bthemistake]

~ Poison Ivy & Harley Quinn ~

[Audio Description: The DC characters, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. Ivy has hefted Harley over her shoulder, smiling bemusedly while her girlfriend yells at someone offscreen. Ivy had loose flowers and leaves strewn about her loose hair, including a large flower tucked behind her ear. Harley is wearing a red and black outfit, her hair in her typical pigtails, and is dotted in plasters from falling out of a tree, probably.]

[sissylittlefeather]

Bonded: Part 5

That's What You Get For Loving Me

A/N: Sorry this took so long! This chapter was a pain in my butt, but I think it's finally ready for public eyes. Also, there's only one more chapter of this one, so enjoy it while you can!

Special thanks to @ccab and @atleastpleasetelephone for helping me work out some kinks (not the good kind).

Get caught up: Masterlist

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, kissing, cussing, oral sex (f receiving), p in v penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, also they're vampires so blood, biting, blood drinking, and Lisa Marie is really ill

Word count: ~2.9k

“My baby girl is gonna die, isn't she?”

You lay together in silence and the thought hits him that at least he'll have you when it happens.

******

You stay with Elvis through the end of his Vegas engagement, splitting your time between his suite, his shows, and the hospital. After about three days, he convinces you to quit your job and move into his suite with him. Honestly, it doesn't take much convincing to get you to do it. If it weren't for Lisa Marie's illness, you would be wrapped in a blissful blanket of love together. You're both excited to have someone to feed from regularly, somehow sustaining each other without the need for any humans. And the sex is phenomenal every time, so for the most part, you're happy.

Still, you both spend a lot of time trying to research and find a way to help Lisa Marie. You pore over books about healing, trying to figure out if there's something you can do. You try several different things, but nothing works.

When his Vegas shows end, he assumes you'll accompany him to Graceland, and you do because what else would you do? One afternoon you're laying in bed together still naked from a passionate session of lovemaking when he has an idea.

“What about Mary?”

“What about her?” You're not sure where he's going with this.

“Would she know about something to help Lisa Marie?”

“Maybe, but I'm not sure.” You sit in deep thought for a while before it hits you like a ton of bricks. Why haven't you thought of it before?! “I bet my mother knows something!”

He looks at you funny, like he needs to say something but isn't sure it's okay to say. Finally, he breaks down and just asks.

“Your mother is alive?”

“No, I guess I should clarify. I call the woman who turned me my mom. She's very motherly. But she was a healer for her people before she was turned! She knows all kinds of ancient wisdom. I haven't seen her in a long time, though.” He sits up and looks at you seriously.

“If you think she can help, we should talk to her.”

“We'll have to take a trip to the mountains. She doesn't own a phone.” He lays back down and pulls you in close to him.

“I'll charter a plane. We'll go tonight.”

******

His bodyguards are reluctant to let him go anywhere without them, but he reminds them that he'll be fine by extending his fangs. Besides, it's not like you're going anywhere with a lot of people.

Once you land and get a car, you begin your journey up into the mountains. It's been a while, but you still remember how to get to her house. For the most part, you ride in silence through the tall trees, both of you nervous for how this encounter might turn out. When you pull up to the rusty old gate, Elvis shuts the car off and looks at you.

“This is the closest I'll ever get to meeting your family. Should I be nervous?” You laugh a little.

“No, you handled Mary okay. Ama is only around 400 years old, so she's much more lenient. She'll be surprised to see a male vampire, though. I know she had a hand in eradicating them.”

“Eradicating them?!”

“They had become too dangerous and out of control. They weren't all like you.” Elvis thinks of the times he's almost fully drained women unintentionally, the near-cruelty with which he's treated them at times, and nods. Maybe he would be dangerous if he wasn't himself.

At the door, you knock on the ivy-covered wood and wait for a bit. Before too long, a small brown woman with long black braids opens the door and Elvis sighs, assuming you have the wrong house. But instead, you throw yourself into her arms.

“Mother.” She holds you comfortably, despite being shorter than you. After a few seconds, you pull back and turn to introduce Elvis. He nods and smiles, secretly hoping she'll assume he's human. It's better to be considered a child than a threat. Instead, she purses her lips.

“You two better come inside.” He follows you into the cozy room with a wood-burning stove almost in the center. She gestures for you both to have a seat on a small, plush couch and then settles herself in a rocking chair. “So you've made yourself a male vampire companion.”

You shake your head vehemently. Her tone indicates that this disappoints her.

“No! I didn't make him to be my companion. I just… made him…” You’re struggling to articulate exactly why you turned Elvis into a vampire. In all honesty, other than because he asked, you don't really have a reason.

“I knew you were a risk. Always weak around human men, refusing to kill them when necessary.” She stares coldly at Elvis, who bristles defensively in response. Without thinking, you put your hand on his knee and feel him relax a little. When she catches the interaction, she inhales sharply. “And you've bonded with him!”

“No! No I didn't!” She shakes her head.

“Don't lie to me, child. I can smell it on both of you-” Something snaps inside of Elvis and he yells.

“Yes! I'm a vampire. I made her do it. And yes, we are bonded. That was my idea too. I'm evil. Can we move on?” And then he gets quiet and looks at you. “Every second you sit here talking is another second that we lose Lisa Marie.”

You nod slowly, resisting the urge to kiss him. But Ama watches the way you look at each other and softens a bit.

“Who is Lisa Marie?” Elvis turns back to her.

“She's my daughter. She's 3 and she's dying. I don't know what to do.” His voice catches on the last part and you take his hand, squeezing gently.

“I'm not sure what you think I can do.” She holds her hands up like she has nothing to offer.

“Weren't you a healer?” You ask, worried that you've come all this way for nothing.

“I was, but this is- wait.” Ama leans forward in her chair. “Were you a vampire when she was conceived?”

Elvis looks at you, almost embarrassed about the fact that he has a child with another woman, but you know he's married. It's not a shock that his child has a different mother.

“Yes.” Ama laughs and leans back with her hand on her forehead. You and Elvis look at each other perplexed. She sits up and speaks quietly.

“She’s half-vampire and will likely turn fully when she becomes a woman. She needs blood.” Elvis stands up, excitedly, dragging you with him.

“What do you mean?!” Ama rises slowly and smiles.

“She is part of you, part vampire. The reason her body hasn't healed is because it needs blood, your blood, to come back to health. Give her just a little of your blood over a series of days and she will be fine.” Elvis laughs loudly as the tears start to stream down his cheeks. For a split second, it hits you that his daughter will probably be a vampire too. He obviously hasn't realized what this might mean and you're not about to tell him right now. Instead, you push that thought away and focus on the fact that she will, in fact, survive.

“That's why she hasn't… oh my God. It's so simple.” He can hardly make words, he's so excited and relieved. Your eyes fill with tears too and it doesn't take long for him to wrap you fully in his arms and kiss you. “Oh God, honey. We can help her!”

He lets go of you just long enough to turn and hug Ama. Her eyes are wide with shock at how tender and loving he seems with you, about his daughter, and even with his arms around her.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” She pats him on the back gently. When he pulls away, she grabs his face in both hands.

“You be good to her, okay? You seem different than the others. You be good to her or you'll have me to answer to.” He nods, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I love her, ma'am. I'll take care of her.” She moves her hands away, nodding.

“Good.”

******

On the plane, Elvis’s leg bounces with nervous energy. You're sitting across from him on the small private jet. There's a stewardess somewhere, but he got annoyed and compelled her to stay away. So it's just the two of you for the next hour or so.

The thought enters your mind again that Lisa Marie will probably be a vampire someday. You look at Elvis and decide this isn't the time to talk about it. You need a distraction and so does he.

“Hey, baby?” You ask quietly and he looks up at you like he's forgotten you're there.

“Yeah?”

“You wanna feed?” He seems to be considering it for a bit before he shakes his head.

“No, honey, I'm okay.” You unbuckle your seatbelt and walk over to him.

“You're really not.” He pulls you down into his lap and buries his face in your hair. You stroke the back of his head and whisper. “C’mon, baby.”

He grunts as you expose your neck to him. It's true he hasn't fed in a couple of days. The tantalizing smell of your blood is so tempting that his fangs emerge and he moans softly. His cock twitches in his pants and he feels it start to harden at the thought of having you in more ways than one. But he's flooded with guilt at the same time, thinking about his own pleasure when his daughter might die. You anticipate what he's thinking and murmur.

“Elvis, I know Lisa is still sick, but there's nothing we can do about it on this plane.” He realizes you're right and pulls your lips down to his, letting his tongue push past your fangs to explore your mouth. The kiss heats up quickly as he begins to pull at your clothes.

“Need you, honey.” He whispers in your ear as you whimper and grind your ass on him a little bit. You feel his erection and put your hand on him over his pants. He groans softly. “You wearin’ panties, honey?”

“Yes.” You moan into his mouth.

“Take ‘em off.” Without another thought, you stand up and obey, sliding your panties down your legs. He drags his hand up the inside of your thigh and runs his fingers through your folds. “Oh, baby. Feels like you need it too.”

“I do… need you so bad baby…” You whimper. He grunts again and pushes his middle finger up into you, pumping it in and out for a bit. Then, he slides it out and pats your ass.

“Bend over, baby.” You do as you're told and bend over, putting your hands on the short table that is between your chairs. He flips your skirt up over your ass and moans with the sight of your glistening wet pussy in front of him. “Goddamn, honey.”

And then he dives in tongue first, shoving it as deep inside you as it'll go. He fucks you with his tongue for a bit before he moves down, licking your clit with a fervor you've never experienced before. You moan loudly and he tries not to smile. He loves to eat you out any way he can, but you bent over like this doesn't happen often.

“Fuck, baby… that's good.” You whimper as he continues to lick and suck and tongue fuck your pussy, pushing you to the edge of an orgasm pretty quickly.

“Cum for me, honey.” He mumbles against you, sending his tongue to dart out and tease your clit. You moan and push back, losing all control. He presses his tongue inside you again and then goes back to working your clit. “Come on, baby. Just let go; I'm right here.”

You whimper and pant as your orgasm closes in on you and you almost scream as it rattles your whole body, rushing through you from your pussy right out to your fingertips and back again. He feels the way you pulse on his tongue and licks you through your climax.

When you finally come down, you hear him unzip his pants and pull his cock free. He grabs you around the waist and pulls you back down into his lap. You groan as you sink down onto him, pushing him so deep inside you.

“That's my girl.” He whispers in your ear. You moan and start to bounce on him while he guides your hips. “Fuck, baby.”

He makes some kind of noise between a moan and a grunt and holds your hips as he starts to thrust into you from underneath. Then, you take over again, grinding back against him, pushing him deeper and deeper.

“Gettin’ close. Don't stop, baby.” You bounce on his cock as fast and hard as you can and feel him start to throb inside you. Then, he moans loudly, grabs your hips in a bruising grip, and slams you one last time. “Fuck! Yeah, baby.”

When he finishes, he holds you still in his lap, pulling your body back against him as he moves your hair and bites into your neck with his dick still nestled in your pussy. You groan as he drinks you, reveling in the sensation of this highest level of intimacy. After a few seconds, he backs off, licking your puncture wounds so that they'll heal faster.

“You like it when I bite you like that? With my cock inside you?” He whispers in your ear and your pussy clenches around him. You shift a little and he groans. “Turn around and feed, baby.”

Without hesitation, you turn and straddle him. He's soft, but he uses his thumb to rub circles on your clit as he moves his head to give you access to his neck. You moan and whimper as he drags his thumb faster and faster over you. Another orgasm threatens to overwhelm you and you lean forward and graze your fangs against his skin.

“That's it, baby. I want you to cum and bite me.”

“Fuck… Elvis… ohhhh!” Just as your climax hits, you sink your teeth deeply into his neck and whimper as the sweet taste of his blood washes over your tongue. He holds your hips tightly and lets you drink your fill. When you finally come down and back off of him, he pulls you into a kiss that's all fangs and tongues and blood. He pulls back and presses his forehead to yours.

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, Elvis.” The captain comes over the PA system to announce your descent into the Memphis airport. Elvis squeezes you one more time and then pats your ass. He helps you put your panties back on, but doesn't let you go sit in your own seat. Instead, he wraps his arms tightly around you. You tap on his arm. “Baby, I need my seatbelt.”

“No, you don't. I've got you.” You giggle and relax against him. The plane lands just fine and you both sigh deeply.

Back to reality.

******

Finally, you arrive at the hospital and make your way to Lisa Marie’s room. When you walk in, Elvis demands that everyone leave. They look at him like he has three heads, but he says it again and you hear his voice take on that eerie quality that it does when a vampire is compelling someone. It doesn't take much longer for them to clear the room and leave you and Elvis alone with Lisa Marie.

“How do I give her my blood?” He looks at you helplessly.

“I'm not sure. Maybe just drop some on her tongue? Ama said it didn't need to be much at all. And then once she's awake we can give her a little more until she's fully recovered.” He nods and pulls his sleeve up.

“Baby, would you bite me?” You walk over to him and take his arm.

“Why?”

“Your bites are gentler. Please?” Nodding, you lean forward and carefully sink your fangs into his flesh. “Mmm, see that hurts a lot less. When you do it it feels good.”

You have to actively stop yourself from feeding so he can get some blood for Lisa, but it's not easy to pull your mouth away from his arm. Even after feeding on the plane, he tastes so good it's hard to pull back. He strokes your hair with his other hand.

“Thank you, baby.” He dips his fingers in the small pool of blood that's gathered on his arm. Then, he takes his fingers and opens Lisa's mouth, meticulously placing a few drops on her tongue. When he's finished, he stands back and watches like she's going to wake up right away.

“It'll probably take some time to work. Come sit down.” He nods and pulls both of your chairs up to the side of the bed.

With one hand, he holds Lisa Marie’s, making soft circles on the back of hers. He leans back a little, though, to let you settle on his shoulder. His arm snakes around your waist and pulls you in close so he can kiss you on the forehead. You drift off to sleep in his arms and he looks at you and then Lisa Marie, thinking he has everything he needs right now at this moment, as long as everyone wakes up in the morning.

******

Almost the End!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@ccab @atleastpleasetelephone @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love @deltafalax @cinnamoroll-things @burnthheparaphilia @jhoneybees @cattcb @everythingelvispresley @returntopresley @searchingforgravity @msamarican @angschrof @lustnhim @polksaladava @librababe99 @hooked-on-elvis @theelvisprincess @makethemorning @peaceloveelvis @mrspresley69

[honeycreammilkshake]

Reminder yuji's grandpa told yuji to help people even if they DONT WANT TO. YUJI saved sukuna

Hi, anon. You're so right. I'm so obsessed with this chapter that it's making me sick...

From the very start, Yuuji has been the only one to show Sukuna empathy or compassion. As I've written before, everyone else makes their "declaration of love" into competition to force Sukuna to see things their way, to try to make him submit to them, but Yuuji has been so intimate and open, so gentle, with the King of Curses like no one else has.

During chapter 265, he took Sukuna on a literal scenic tour of all his childhood memories. Sukuna actually goes along with this, without being overly hostile or mocking... which is a really interesting and unexpected thing for his character to do!!! It indicates to me that, if even only subconsciously and even if he hates it, Sukuna actually respects and cares about this brat. He's willing to listen to him, to hear him out, to even indulge him by doing whatever the brat asks him to do together like archery or fishing... all things that if anyone else asked the King of Curses to do, he would more than likely kill them on the spot for their insolence.

Ever since then Yuuji has been owning Sukuna completely. He's gotten under that cursed skin far too deep for Sukuna's liking...

Their fight scene from 266 really illustrates this well.

Call it what you want, but to me this scene just confirms that Sukuna is blatantly denying his own feelings. To react that strongly to Yuuji's sympathy and pity... to feel like it's nothing more than Yuuji looking down at him... Sukuna is scared of being seen as anything other than an inhuman, unfeeling monster of chaos; he can't stand that Yuuji - someone he sees as weaker, someone who lived alongside him, someone he made suffer - is still being merciful and willing to give Sukuna a second chance of sorts.

Sukuna claims that he knows what love is, has told Kashimo that it's because he "understands love" that he finds it meaningless. But in actuality, Sukuna doesn't understand love - he understands the lack of it.

Which is what makes Yuuji's approach to finally teaching Sukuna love all the more interesting, because he is literally trying to remedy that lack of love, to fill that void in Sukuna's life up.

In chapter 268, we see Sukuna in a very pathetic, cornered position. He's literally at Yuuji's mercy.

Yuuji is standing over Sukuna, more than capable of ending things for good. He's gotten Megumi back already, so he technically has no reason to keep Sukuna alive. He can choose to take all his more-than-justified hate out on Sukuna.... but he doesn't.

Instead... he shows Sukuna just how far his love and compassion can go. He reaches down, so tenderly when Sukuna doesn't deserve it, and cups the monstrous King of Curses in his hands, so softly.

Sukuna is literally dying in Yuuji's hands. Instead of mocking him, or making him suffer, as one of the other "strongest" people would do, Yuuji is instead reaching out to him.... yet again!

He basically says "I see you, Sukuna. I understand that if our circumstances we're different, we could very well have had the same fate or still been the opposites of each other. But I accept the way things have turned out for us - I accept you. We can live together because I care about you even if no one else does."

Yuuji has suffered in Sukuna's own hands, but Yuuji cradles Sukuna in his. Yuuji been called weak, pathetic, and useless by Sukuna. But still he stands. After everything Sukuna has done... Yuuji hasn't broken. In fact, he believes in his ideals more than ever. He's extending that mercy to Sukuna when anyone else would have killed him. He's being so softly intimate with him.

That is what makes Yuuji so strong, truly stronger than everyone else. He doesn't give in, he doesn't break down, he doesn't become hopeless and shattered. He's as kind, caring, and loving as ever.... Sukuna can't take it.

This tsundere bitch is literally dying instead of accepting Yuuji's marriage proposal. Can't handle his own feelings for real.

What's really interesting to me is how Sukuna uses Yuuji's full name here, too. In the past, he always referred to Yuuji as "brat" and so many other demeaning names, but now... now he's admittedly recognizing Yuuji as someone with worth, even saying "I should congratulate you."

He is mistaken though. I think he knows that Yuuji wouldn't lie about wanting to live together with Sukuna. After all, he's been inside of Yuuji. He knows the brat isn't the type to be dishonest about these kinds of things. Megumi is safe now, so how can Yuuji seek to gain anything from staying by Sukuna's side?

And also, if it was all to mock Sukuna, why does Yuuji look so heartbroken when Sukuna refuses his offer??

That is the look of someone who is disappointed in what happened, not glad that Sukuna chose death instead of love.

I have so many thoughts on this... I could write a whole other meta but literally... this is just an outright confession of love, no matter how you interpret it.

All I can say is... Sukuita best ship.

Thanks for your ask, anon! Wishing you a happy rest of your week <3

[hunterbunter3000]

I think it's also about the way sweetheart touches them. She's gentle with them, which is something rare for absolutely all of them. Sweetheart doesn't assume because they're in the military that they don't need kindness and support and delicate hands. She knows they already think that they don't deserve anything like that so when she sees them wanting it and craving it, she is so willing to give. Her love cup is so full for her team and the people she cares for.

She handles ghost like he's still just Simon Riley, a sad kid deep down. Sweetheart offers up affection that she can just feel is so foreign to him. Yes he can take care of himself but everybody knows it doesn't extend beyond the basics and she takes time to try to heal his aches and pains that he's gotten so used to living with

She's delicate with price, knowing how hard he's worked to keep the team alive and well. How most of the time, he gets no recognition for his efforts. Sure, she teases him and calls him an old man when he complains about his back but in the same breath is offering a massage to get the ever present knot out

She's attentive with soap, hating how he looks like a sad puppy when people try to brush him off as a loud and brash grown up child. She wants him to hold on to that because she knows if it goes away, he'll seem like a shell of himself. She's seen what too long in the field can do to someone like johnny and how it can change them for the worst so she always encourages his jokes and such.

She helps gaz as much as she can. She sees how he pushes himself and how it sometimes ends up in neglect of himself. How many meals has he missed due to trying to just get one more thing done? How many hours of sleep has he skipped to try to figure something out? With a firm hand, she always guides him into taking care of himself and to give himself a much needed break.

IM RAMBLING IM SORRY

AAA NOOO DONT BE SORRY- DONT EVER BE SORRY FOR RAMBLING THIS IS AMAZING 💖✨️✨️💕

(I'm terribly sorry this took so long- BUT GARRICK'S IS PRETTY LONG SO ITS A WIN WIN-)

But holy cow I agree with this so much

Tw: mentions of depression, insecurities, trust issues

I'm really gonna start with Soap because what you said is her biggest fear. She cares deeply for Mactavish and always pays a little bit more attention to him than the others because of that terror.

It would be a nightmare if she didn't see the life in his eyes anymore. Her heart was already broken when her second uncle came back a zombie from being in the army. Didn't talk to anyone, and if he did he would always snap at them. He loved his family still. He really did. But the happiness, and the compassion was gone. He couldn't let go of the guilt, of the regret he had in his choices. He didn't really talk about it, but when he did Sweetheart could see the black tar oozing out of his mouth. All the internal pain and suffering. She doesn't want to see Soap be like that, since their personalities are quite similar. Fun, chipper, determined and kind. She will protect his internal being with everything she has, just like she did with her uncle. So she will always laugh at his jokes and add on to them, making them both double over. She will always stand up for him when someone calls him loud and brash. Telling him it's okay to express yourself how you want to.

If she fails, if she even sees the shine leave his eyes for a second, she knows she failed her uncle again and will never be the same.

--

Now with Ghost-- GOOAAHHHHDDDD he needs all the hugs and cheek kisses he can get (and really just hugs) he doesn't like to be touched unless he knows you knows you (kinda like König and Roach) it took Sweetheart a WHILEE to get close to Ghost. Yes, he did have a small soft spot for her, but he would NOT let her touch him. It took like five months just to let her touch his shoulder. Because of his insane trust issues and paranoia, he didn't let her get close. He couldn't. He couldn't risk getting hurt from Sweetheart. Kind, charming, thoughtful, Sweetheart. Caring, strong, smart, Sweetheart. He craved for her touch so badly that he knew it was what he needed, but he couldn't handle the pain afterward. But there was no pain when she first hugged him when he came out of that explosion alive. There was no pain when she held his hand through his panic attack. There was just warmth. And love. Through every touch she gave him, it spoke of love and care. She gave him time. She gave him so much patience so he could trust her. So he could love her. And he does.

Price-- that man deserves a hundred medals I swear. As you said, he gets no recognition of his effort from anyone, because that's what he's supposed to do. He's supposed to get everyone out alive, he's supposed to succeed everytime. It's just built in the job with that expectation. But Sweetheart knows in order to keep that kind of task going, he needs support. And my god, does she give it to him. Always patting him on the back and saying good job. Checking for any injuries, and if there are, she would fix them. Listening to anything he's talking about and giving her opinions on it. Giving him some tea and something to eat if he's up late. And just giving him any form of affirmation. He deserves it. He deserves all the support, the back rubs, the massages and the teasing, the tea and the naps, all of it. And Price is so grateful for it. If she wasn't there for him, no one would be.

Kyle. Gaz. Garrick. Goodness, that boy has put so many expectations on himself that NO ONE ELSE has put on him. It's weighing him down. Since he's the youngest and has less experience than everyone else, he thinks that he has to catch up to everyone else or be better than them in order for people to see him. See him being one of the members of Task Force 141. The best of the best, right? Like Sweetheart? How she carries herself through chaos, how she handles dire situations, how well she works with others, how physically, mentally, and emotionally strong she is? Can he be skilled like Sweetheart? Calm and collected like Ghost? Well-armed like Soap? He doesn't know. His insecurities are always getting the best of him, making him forget to brush his teeth. Or eat breakfast. Or even get out of bed. Is he even fit to be on this team? Sweetheart knocks on his door. Is he even worthy? She knocks again. He has so much to catch up on. She opens his door. How will he catch up to them? She sighs, walking towards his curled up figure on his bed. He's in their shadow. Maybe he should leave. Sweetheart comes into his view, shocking him. She has a slight concerning face, but more anger than anything. Angry that he hasn't been taking care of himself. Concerned on why he hasn't been taking care of himself. She grabs his hand and brings it to her lips, closing her eyes. His entire body feels warm. Awake. She breathes in and opens her eyes back up. She urges him to get up. Get up and take a shower. His brain says no, but his body is moving subconsciously. She waits outside the Men's Bath Unit until he's done. She waits for him, quite closely, when he's brushing his teeth; Sweetheart tells him not to forget to brush his molars. She waits for him when he dresses himself in clean clothes, still in the same room as him, just turned. She waits for him to finish eating a big breakfast, which he eats fully. All with silence. All with a neutral face. Yet her actions are firm. Caring. Helpful. She sits him down on his now cleaned bed, the help of Sweetheart, and they just... talk. Talk about what's been going on, talk about why he feels this way, and when. It helps. She's giving her opinions on what he can do to be better, but it's up to him to take them. She sighs, eyes studying him. 'I hope I'm not crossing any boundaries with you. But I couldn't sit aside and let you make yourself disappear. Especially when you're valued as a teammate and a friend.' She says. Gaz feels like crying. And he does. He hugs so tightly. Tight enough that she could feel his appreciation through his touch. He's thankful that she saw him. And she continues to see him.

[itsbubbleteataro]

Gun Powder and sparks pt 3

Boothill x reader warnings;

The door to your shop was practically blown open causing you to wince from the noise. You looked up from your work bench, pulling your goggles back onto the top of your head.

"Bloody hell fires what!" You screamed, tools still in hand and project still on your work bench. You were just finishing up with a circuit board that was quite critical in something you were building.

"Well shoot me and call me a stranger, is that anyway to greet an old pal?" Smirked a certain cyborg cowboy.

"My word Hilly, you gotta stop with the door bustin and come in oh I don't know, when my shop ain't closed." You all but huffed out.

"Hilly?" Boothill raised an eyebrow. "So you can call me a nickname but I can't come into your shop after hours?" he smirked, showing off his sharp smile.

"Well you ain't exactly a dead cowboy Hilly, so I ain't calling you boothill." You said back, quite deadpan. "And yeah, it ain't exactly the safest to come knockin when my shop is closed, could be tinkering with somethin explosive and a scare like that could have us both blown sky high."

"So you call me Hilly cuz I ain't dead?" He smirked as you nodded. He walked in the shop after closing the door behind him, pulling up a chair you had started storing near the back for when he came in with who knows what in needs of repair.

Boothill placed his hat on your work table, his eyes looking over you as you turned back to work, pulling the goggles back over your eyes and ignoring the man who was basically breaking down your neck.

"So you good with handling, well, the finer things?" He asked, tilting his head.

"Yeah, I mean it would take a while because I have a lot of projects on deck for payin folks, so it would take a while" You responded, going right back to work, as if the cowboy was never there.

"You better not be insuating I can't pay you shirt bag" Snapped Boothill, getting quite defensive as he crossed his arms.

"I'm not Hilly, I just got work to finish up first. What you come in for anyhow? I have a hunch you ain't in here to watch me work and chat my ear off"

"Always the straight shooter" Boothill sighed. "I well," He was glad you were paying him no mind, focusing hard on whatever you were working on instead. "Since I well, became this, I ain't have the dexterity that I used. I miss doin some of the things, like playing guitar." He was looking away, trying to hide his sadness from a person who wasn't even looking. He felt like a fool for doing so, yet he felt like he had too. "I was thinkin cuz every time I find you here, you're always hunched over something delicate lookin. Figured you may know someone or could be that someone."

You sighed, mauling things over in your mind. You do want to help this strange cowboy, he makes you feel well, alive when he comes in and asks for your help and no one else, to know the amount of trust he has in you to even do the most basic of repairs. You moved the project for a client over on your table, stinking your hand out as you took your goggles off. "Let me see your hand Hilly, just one for now, I'm assuming its mirrored, so I just wanna get a good look at em."

Boothill extended his hand, placing it in yours. He looked away, unsure if you were just running warm, or if his fans decided to stop working at that very moment. You moved his hand to your table, shining the light over it and opening up what you could to get a better look. With you having to hold his hand at strange angles to get what panels you could at the time open, he had scooted closer in his chair.

You were so close to him, touching his hand, investigating it. He was sure he had run out of coolant or his fans just stopped working with how hot his face felt. Boothill was grateful you were so absorbed in your work, that you failed to notice him fanning his face with his hat in his free hand. He could not take his eyes off the way your hands seemed to fit into his, even if you were prying him open to look at the wiring. He felt strange, a good strange, but strange non the less.

"Hm, alright. You said you wanted more dexterity?" You asked, not looking up from your work.

"Yeah, is it possible Y/n?"

"Yeah, its just gonna take a while for me to develop something without having to rebuild or replace your entire hand" You moved back from his hand, letting it go and looking up at him.

"I mean you could replace my hands." He said all to smugly for your liking.

"It would take much longer, I'd have to get the right materials to match what already exists, and take me months to wire everything, would involve you coming in way more than you already do." You stared to explain as Boothill shook his head.

"Naw, I can pay, I can wait. I gotta lay low from the IPC for a while anyways." He took his now free hand and rubbed the back of his neck. Looking up at him with a raised eyebrow, you nodded your head, your mind formulating a plan to work on his new hands.

"Hey! Earth to Y/n" Snapped a smirking Boothill. "Hey, here as thanks and for payment for today, let me take you out for some drinks. My treat."

"You sure Hilly?"

"Yeah I'm sure, you look like you need a good break anyways"

You sighed and got up, grabbing a coat and walking to the door with him, a silent agreement.

Oh boy, would you be in for something more than you agreed too.

[ae-azile]

Kind of have a Chan/Big one-shot in my head that I am thinking about writing but have no time for. I'm going to bullet point it here to have on hand for later.

Big still takes the bullets for Porsche. When Kinn arrives, he initially thinks he is dead. Tawan still presses the button and kills himself. However, the bombs Tawan placed end up being duds and the effort was for nothing.

Once they realize the place isn't about to blow up, they go back inside to get Big's body. He turns out to be unconscious but alive. They rush him to the infirmary and he miraculously pulls through, but is going to be there for a while.

Despite the Drama™️ going on, Kinn, Porsche, and his fellow guards visit him. Kinn is very thankful and sorry, Porsche is thankful as well but feels like Big should value himself more highly and tells him as much, and the rest are trying to be present.

Even Tankhun visits him. He usually talks about how he should put demands on Korn to change up the decor of his room. But occasionally, he tearfully thanks Big for saving Porsche. There is also one time that he tells Big he deserves a better ending than the one he tried to give himself. That he may not have leading man energy, but he could totally be half of a secondary couple in a K-Drama if he just found the right person.

"And sometimes the secondary couple is more interesting anyway!"

But out of everyone, Chan visits the most frequently and has been putting the most work in when it comes to Big's care.

The thing is, Big notices two guards aren't around: Pete and Ken. The guards tell him Pete is visiting his grandmother, and they sound believable enough when they say that, even though it seems like strange timing. But they won't meet his eyes when he asks about Ken, and their stories never line up.

Chan eventually tells him. While the truth paints Ken as a traitor and there is no getting around that, Chan tries his best to empathize with Ken by telling Big that Ken was likely approached by Gun with an incentive to be a double agent. If he would have refused, it would have cost him his life a lot earlier on. He says it to let Big know it's okay to mourn Ken. Ken was still his roommate and his friend, regardless of what he did.

They become closer after that night, and Chan talks to Big in a way that is less gruff and more gentle. Big finds comfort in him, and has prior to this. Chan was the one who made sure Big took an extended break after his father died. He drove an hour each way to check on him at his mother's house back when that happened. So Big has felt comfortable coming to Chan in his moments of worry or doubt, and he has always viewed Chan with respect and affection while the other guards tended to be more intimidated by him. But something feels different now.

He doesn't know who to talk about it with though. Ken is dead, and he probably would have teased him and said he had a crush on their boss.

Does he?

Chan is at least ten years older than him. He probably shouldn't have a crush on him. He's also actively taking care of Big, and Big has a long recovery in front of him. He's setting himself up for unrequited love. Again.

Speaking of, Kinn is continuing to visit. He does so frequently, and Big can see that he's wracked with gullt. Big still feels his heart beat a little faster whenever he walks into a room, but that is starting to feel different too. Kinn almost feels like a friend now. That's probably inappropriate as well, but on a lesser level.

So he holds it in. He plans on doing so forever until he wakes up gasping from a nightmare. Chan had fallen asleep in the chair, but wakes up when Big does. Instead of telling him it's just a dream, he scoots closer to comfort him, strokes his hair, and holds his hand until he falls back asleep.

Big ends up telling Pol, of all people. It just slips out. Pol doesn't seem like the right person to tell, but not the wrong person either. He manages to strongly empathize with and defend Tankhun, while most of the guards tend to steer clear of him, so maybe he will understand this insanity.

Pol is actually nice to talk to. While he doesn't completely understand a potential crush on Chan because Chan is intimidating, he gets having a crush on someone a good bit older. He thinks he might be into a bartender friend of Porsche's, and she has several years on him.

The conversation doesn't give Big any answers, but it does make him feel a little better. He's able to be around Chan and not feel like freaking out.

That is, until Korn "dies" and the attack approaches. Chan has Big moved to a more secure location a day prior. Big wants to stay, Chan won't let him. Big only feels okay about leaving when Chan says he will command from the armory while Arm sends out remote attacks, that he won't be a frontline guard.

Chan lied.

Does he die? Does he miraculously live like Big manages to in this canon divergent fic or like Vegas does in canon? Depends on how much I want to torture Big, I suppose...

Jk, I want them as infirmary roomies falling in love, all while Pol wheels in to visit while he heals from his less serious injury. I also want Chan to be finished with Korn altogether after everything he pulled.

[mylittlegemlins]

Spy x family hurt/comfort ideas for destroy your soul:

-loid and yor are expecting a child, anya is jealous that they don't love her as much as their own child.

-Loid, speaking seriously with Sylvia: " fuck it, I'm going to keep them and if you want me to continue being your star spy, you're going to give me missions that don't involve falling in love with women or adopting children, one is enough for me. "

-Loid thinks about the joy his wife and daughter bring him: God, when was the last time I did something just for… fun? Why I didn't do it befo-... oh right... This is a mission

-Loid wonders how Yor had never dated anyone until she was 27, then Yor interprets something very literal and Loid thinks, oh that's why.

-Since Loid saw that Anya had too much stress after the sandbox test, he is very worried about her mental health. Anya stares into space because she's busy thinking about what he thought. But he thinks that the poor girl she is dissociating due to a trauma and he tries to repair her with kisses and hugs.

-The mission ends on the night of a full moon, so Anya has no idea if her father plans to get rid of them, or how, or when, she just stays close to her parents for as long as she can.

-Yor begins to question if she is going to be married to Loid until death do them part, since she barely knows Loid... Well, she knows him a little... For a year... But she is not sure of her feelings for him.

- -Loid finally decides to take Anya to the doctor because bleeding from the nose every time you get overwhelmed by loud noises might not be normal. Anya is just terrified that the doctors will open her brain and see that she has her powers, somehow. he also discovers that she is very low in weight and height for her age and worries even more.

-you love me? Direct question to destroy the heart of the best spy in the country, especially if it comes from a child, especially if it comes from an orphan, especially if it comes from his daughter who has never lived more than 4 months with an adoptive family because they did not get attached to her. Answer honestly, she will know if you lie.

-The Strix mission ended. Loid abandons Anya and breaks up with Yor without much explanation. only to regret it 15 minutes later and run to find them.

-Anya obtains 7 tonitrus having already 7 stellas. And she knows that expulsion is closer than the prize. So she runs away from home.

- Anya is finally ready to tell Loid a little about her birth mother and the orphanage, and it hurts.

-Anya never had a birthday party because there was no budget at the orphanage. Loid is able to hiring even the boys who cry if that makes his daughter happy

-Yor is hospitalized due to a fight and telling your husband that you have appendicitis is easier than explaining to him that some criminals shot you 3 times in the hip and who the hell you're still alive.

-Bond has to bite one Forger to save them from some imminent danger he predicted but the rest of the family panics and gets very angry with Bond.

-"If you keep getting close to dangerous guys you are going to get really hurt one day." Ergo, Anya gets hurt.

-Did you know that adoptable children in real life know that their chances of being adopted go down as they grow older because most only adopt babies? Anya knows it.

-Loid and Yor have no choice but to sleep together because their daughter is terribly ill in the hospital and her last wish is to sleep with them together. Or she actually has a common cold and they took her to the emergency room because they panicked when her fever went up 0.1 degrees.

- Damian wants to hang out with Anya but he would never let Emilie and Ewen find out.

-Loid comforting Anya during an anxiety attack because he thinks it's because of her past and only he knows.

-Instead of directly saying that he wants to keep his family or give up being a spy, he begins by extending the mission for 4 more months, and then another 4 more. And when he realizes 4 years have passed.

-Yor asks Loid about his dead ex-wife because they will never go to leave her flowers or he doesn't have old photos of her and baby Anya. Loid has many photos to fake.

T/W torture

-Anya biological father is a voluteer or one of the scientist because she was made by artificial insemination so that she was born, Anya's mother was kidnapped from a rural town where her language was almost extinct.

-The scientists remove Anya's mother's tongue so that she cannot communicate with her other than through her telepathy.

-The scientists being really mad the first time that her powers didn't work during the full moon.

-Still has nightmares about the electroshock in the laboratory every time she failed the tests. Her parents try to console her but she can't tell them anything, even if she wants. still hurts.

[solarcitymelodies]

@yourlocalcringekid cracks knuckles. You've fallen into my trap (i also made another post so I wouldn't hijack yours, lol)

Pascal is an OC I have that's part of a quite large extended universe, but all you need to know about it is that it's centered around sentient objects. He's a marionette! And he is my baby. This is him ↓

And I'll leave the rest under the cut so this post doesn't break people's feeds lol

The plot more or less goes as follows:

1. Some guy fucking dies

2. Said guy in turn ends up possessing a marionette, who we'll know as Pascal (people don't remember their names from before they died, so he took the name given to the marionette)

3. He lives alone in a theater for a while, used by a group of highschoolers for their drama club

4. A girl from said drama club gets permission to use the theater after club for guitar practice, and inevitably finds Pascal (and initially threatens to kill him because she is very scared.)

5. The theater ends up burning down and she takes him with her, lets him live in her house with her as long as he behaves

6. He helps her learn guitar from what he still remembers about playing when he was alive and eventually start a cute little band together

As for the THEMES.

A HUGE theme of the story is second chances-- both him and Another Character (who is also similarly dead lol) didn't have the greatest lot in life before they died, and in a weird kinda way, dying gave them a second chance to actually live the way they wanted to. To have people that care about them and want them to succeed.

Also when you say "my strings were all cut up but you let me dance anyway" it also makes me go CRAZY because there's a whole scene that is LITERALLY that. And it has heavy metaphorically weight in the story so I thought you'd enjoy.

So there's a scene that takes place early ish in the story where someone asks the girl that found him (her name is Raina) about him, and as he's "playing dead" so that nobody finds out he's Fucking Alive, she messes with his strings a bit to show them how he moves-- and this person snatches him up and starts messing with him themselves.

Pascal was NOT pleased about this at all and despite his deep rooted fear of confrontation, he absolutely goes off on Raina (but like, very quietly and politely. Lol), and he tells her more or less that just because he's a puppet it doesn't mean people can just use him. So she makes him an offer.

After some conversation, they agreed that she could cut his strings. He can be restrung, after all, if he really wants to be, and this way a situation like that won't happen again.

There are some themes of manipulation here, and yeah, him being a puppet is a nod to how he allowed people to manipulate him in the past-- but a marionette with cut strings is also a pretty heavy handed metaphor. A "you can't control me" kind of a deal. And it's important to me that it's Raina who does it, because she's the first person to genuinely just wants to be friends with him. She doesn't need anything else from him but love (platonically).

Anyway I apologize for how long this post is. It could be longer if I decided to go on about Marzipan (the other dead guy), but I feel that would be derailing from the puppetry themes lol.

So yeah I'm crazy about them. Um

[yoitsjay]

Burdens to Carry

Pairings: Echo x fem! Senator reader

Summary: so much chaos all at once... Echos there to help you carry it.

Warnings: cannon violence, death, angsttt, happy ending, rushed ending lol

Word count: 5,360

thump… thump… thump- thump, thump

all you could hear was your heavy breathing and the loud and fast beat of your heart.

You were running but you didn’t know why. One moment everything was fine and the next… you were running into the forest and you thought you heard footsteps behind you, but all those sounds were dulled out as you focused on the sounds of your heavy breathing and your beating heart that was still. beating. Stay alive

Thump, thump, thump thump-

You jumped over a fallen log, bad had miscalculated the path in front of you, because as soon as you stepped forward onto the trail after the jump, you had caught your foot on a twisted vine, and you tumbled down, your body rolling down a steep hill, prickly bushes and sharp stones cutting your skin until finally you rolled to a stop at the bottom of what you assumed to be a river bed, the sounds of rushing water filling your ears and splashing on your clothes.

You pushed yourself up slowly, watching the blood leak from your arms and into the rushing water. You could still hear your heartbeat in your ears, and your ragged breathing.

Get up, Get up, Get up!

you managed to stumble to your feet, taking a quick look around, trying to decide your route to the safety of the palace. No, you were too far from the palace, you had to hide, but there were no caves, or dense foliage to cover yourself with. You were exposed in this river bed and you had no way to cross the river without getting pulled by its current.

“Senator~”

An eerie voice sang out, and you spun around to where you thought the voice was closest, but saw nobody. You took one step back, and then another before turning to run.

A sharp gasp fell from your lips as you saw one of the Empire’s new inquisitors. Their lightsaber was on, the red hue lighting the dark area around you, reflecting horror across your face as the inquisitor took a step forward as you took a step back.

“It’s not too late senator… ally with the Empire, and we won’t destroy you, or your world.” They hissed, raising their red lightsaber, pointing the tip towards your chest. You shook your head. “No.” You growled, or tried to anyway. But your voice cracked and your hands shook. You were afraid… deeply afraid.

“Oh… well that's too bad Senator.” the Inquisitor said, and raised their lightsaber, about to strike, only for a steel spear to pierce right through their armor, through their heart. Their saber fell to the ground, shutting off upon impact, and then the inquisitor fell, revealing your guard captain behind them, extending a hand to you. “Come senator, I found a speeder. We must get to the Capitol.”

thump… thump… thump

Your eyes shot open and you stared at the ceiling, gripping the sheets that made your bed as you blinked once, then twice before pushing yourself up. Your hair fell out of its loose bun, the elastic having slipped off through the night as it laid on a different part of the bed. A sigh fell from your lips and you fixed your hair, rubbing the back of your head as you just sat there, and recollected yourself.

“Sister? Are you awake?”

Your sister- the Queen’s voice flowed into your ears, and you grunted before standing up. “Yes, I'm awake.” You replied, and the door opened as your sister walked inside, offering you a kind smile. “I thought you and I could have some sister time? the council is quiet and i have no looming duties to fulfill… so i thought we could put on fun disguises and go out to the markets and shop around.” Your sister giggled.

You rolled your eyes at her playful attitude, she was the older sister but she acted more like a kid then you did, probably because as a Senator you had to deal with a lot more people than the Queen did… but… a break would be nice.

“Okay… yeah that- that sounds amazing.” You spoke softly, gathering your clothes for today in a neat pile on your bed. Your sister clapped her hands together and let out a quiet cheer, turning back to the door. “Good! meet me in the courtyard when you're ready.” She instructed, and left your room, closing the door behind her as she did so.

You let out another sigh, smiling absently to yourself as you got dressed. You had chosen to wear a white coloured cropped blouse that hung around your shoulders instead of your neck, showing off your shoulders, upper chest and collar bone. The top seam of the blouse had a different coloured strip of fabric, a sage green that matched the color of your baggy pants which were high waisted, so you didn’t show off much belly. But it was tight around your hips and thighs and then got wider as the pant leg got longer.

You tied it off with a silver necklace and a matching arm band, brushing your hair and curling the strands of hair that framed the sides of your face.

Soon you left your room, your guard captain following from a distance as you met up with your sister in the courtyard. She was wearing one of her ‘disguises’ which consisted of a beautiful flowy sundress and a matching coloured headband.

When she saw you her peaceful expression turned into a smile as she walked over and embraced you tightly for a few seconds before letting you go. “Oh I'm so excited! the guards will tail us from a distance but i took some fundage from the treasury so we can go shopping! we can get new clothes and food and little goodies.” She giggled, offering her hand to you which you took immediately, giving it a gentle squeeze before you settled for locking arms together as you walked side by side out of the palace grounds and towards the markets of the city.

Your planet, Abrium, was lush and magnificent. The planet had such varying types of terrain, ranging from mountains that spanned for miles to lush forests and fields of flowers. Underneath all that however was a large expansive cave system, filled with crystals and plant life, along with hot springs.

The crystals in those caves you had just learned were called Kyber Crystals by the Jedi, and they were used to create lightsabers. The mineral deposits were unknown to the Republic or to the separatists, and the Empire had no clue either. It was a secret the people of Abrium would take to their grave, not wanting to bring any conflict to an old neutral paradise.

You had kind of zoned out as you walked with your sister through the markets. She bought some trinkets here and there and some clothing items too, but y=nothing really sparked your interest, and if you did, you didn’t notice it.

That’s when your guard captain rushed up to you, and gently tapped your shoulder. “Senator, your highness, there are odd civilians following you, armed. We must get back to the castle.” He whispered to you, and you nodded, tugging your sister's arm. “Come on, we can always shop another time.” You stated, and walked back to the palace with your guards following close behind, a few of them scattered ahead of you as well.

You reached the palace unharmed, and you went back to the courtyard, still content on enjoying the day with your sister. You turned to the guard captain, pulling him aside for a moment. “Has my contact gotten back to you?” You asked quietly. The captain glanced around before nodding. “Yes, while you were in the marketplace I got his reply. He’s sending one of his finest here, an old friend he says.” The captain whispered. You, however, were surprised.

“Only one?” You asked, glancing around again just to make sure nobody was listening in. “he said it was all he could spare and that he was sorry. He wished he could do more.” The captain murmured. You sighed, but nodded. “When will he be arriving?” You asked, and the captain checked the com before telling you. “Tomorrow morning. I told the contact that he could land at your private dock.” The captain explained, and you nodded.

“Good… Thank you Captain.” You muttered before walking back to your sister. When the sun began to set you and your sister parted ways for the night, and you made your way back to your room, setting some of the trinkets your sister got for you on the table in your room. You sighed, walking over to the holo table that you had built in the center. Well you didn’t build it but you put it there.

You turned it on, noticing the red transmision button flashing, so you pressed it, knowing only your old friend had access to the channel.

Rex popped up on the golo table, and a smile enveloped your features just as it did his. “Hello senator.” He created, and you chuckled in response. “You don’t have to be so formal you know.” You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared at him. “Your captain told you that I'm only sending one soldier?” Rex asked, and you nodded.

“Yes, and I understand why resources are limited… I try my best to fund you, but large amounts of money being sent to an untraceable source can look suspicious.” You sighed sadly, but Rex shook his head. “Don’t even apologize. You’re helping us out of kindness and we all appreciate it… Now, this clone is a very capable soldier, and he will keep you safer than most of your guards can, don’t worry.” Rex reassured, keeping things vague like always.

“Alright… Thank you Rex, and get some rest if you can.” You said softly, saying your goodbyes as you ended the transmission. You sighed again, removing your clothes from today, getting dressed in your sleep clothes after going through your bathroom routine.

And in bed you ended up, staring at the ceiling again, eyes following the painted stars that you had created so long ago. You smiled, and allowed yourself to drift off, hoping for a dreamless sleep for once.

-

A Dreamless sleep is what you got, and you stirred awake as the sun shined through your window, followed by your little alarm going off, which you quickly shut off since it was quite annoying.

You got up quickly, kind of excited for the day ahead, knowing you might see a familiar face from your past, or a man you had never met before. Either way, Rex assured you that he was a good soldier, and a good protector and you believed him.

You dressed in something a little more professional, wearing light tan pants and a cream coloured short dress on top, with one sleeve gone. The other sleeve was flowy, and on the back of the dress you had a cape connected to a clip on your shoulder, which allowed for easy removal.

You pulled on a pair of brown leather knee high boots, and then clipped a white belt around your waist before pulling on white arm sleeves that stopped at your elbow. They matched with the short dress, and it pulled off an elegant look, but also versatile.

After you were dressed and ready for the day, your Captain had commed you to let you know that your soldier had arrived in atmosphere and was flying to the Capitol, so you made your way to your private ship dock just as a ship, which looked to be an old mining vessel, flew in and landed on the landing bay. You stood back, the wind blowing through your hair as the ship finalized its procedures.

When the ramp opened you started walking forward, keeping your hands by your sides as you stopped a few feet away from the ramp, waiting patiently for the soldier to step out.

When he did, you could immediately tell he was a clone, but much paler than Rex or any of the clones you used to know. He also had cybernetic implants on his head, and what looked to be a scomp for one of his arms. He also had two metal legs, looking more droid than man. But he was definitely a clone.

When he saw you, his eyes had widened slightly. Rex didn’t tell him what senator he’d be meeting, and he never expected it to be you, despite the fact that this was your home planet. “Senator.” He greeted, trying to keep his voice from cracking as he walked up to you, extending his hand for you to shake.

You took it, and smiled, shaking his hand before letting go. There was something familiar about his voice, and his eyes… You stared at him for a moment, noticing him shift uncomfortably under your gaze. You then softened your eyes, and took a step back. “This way trooper, I'll show you to your room in my quarters and then I'll brief you on everything that’s happened.” You explained and the clone nodded.

“Sound’s good to me, senator.” The man spoke up, and again you paused, the more you heard him speak, the more familiar it was. You turned around, looking at him again with eyes narrowed. You studied him from head to toe before your eyes met his. You could see untold stories in his eyes, years of war… and months of trauma.

The way he acted, and spoke…

Your eyes widened in sudden realization, and it felt as if your heart had just been torn from your chest.

“Echo?” You asked, voice barely above a whisper, cracking still even as you spoke. The clone perked up when you had said his name, relieved that you had finally remembered him… from all those years ago, how could you forget a man like him.

“Oh my god- Echo!” You exclaimed, feeling a tear slip past your cheek but you paid it no mind, and instead launched yourself into his arms, hugging him tightly. “Rex told me you died! after the attack on Kamino- he- i thought you were dead.” You choked out, feeling his arm squeeze your waist as he held you.

“Well I'm here, so obviously not dead.” He tried to joke, but when you pulled away and he saw your frown, he stopped joking around, and raised his hand to cup your cheek. “I’m sorry for that… I was… I was taken by the techno union and…” Echo trailed off, not really wanting to recount all the trauma he had undergone. His mechanical parts spoke volumes to what had happened.

“Oh Echo… I'm so sorry.” You whispered, pressing your forehead to his for a moment before you pulled away. “We can catch you up on all aspects of my life once we get you settled, okay? Come on sweetheart.”

You led Echo off the landing pad and back to your quarters, your bedroom was only a room inside an even bigger room, it was basically like a penthouse on Coruscant with a few bedrooms, a kitchen and living area.

You brought Echo to the room right beside yours, opening the door for him so he could look inside. “This is where you’ll be sleeping, it's right beside my room so if you hear anything you can rush in, to protect me.” You chuckled, leading him out to the holotable in the living area.

You started it up, and showed the castle and specifically your wing before you turned to him.

“So the Empire attempted to take my life for not allying with them, and they tried again by sending spies a few months later, so I reached out to our mutual friend for help and asked for a bodyguard of sorts, which is where you come in.” You started to explain, and clicked some buttons as you showed the members of the Abrium council. “I have dealings with these people all day every day, so I need you by my side for every minute. I have my guards but sometimes it's not enough and I care more about my sister’s life than I do my own, so I've pushed my guards more to her for her protection.”

You continued to explain all that has happened since the empire came into action, and Echo hung onto every detail until you finished speaking, turning to look at him. “So, that’s about everything. I don’t know how long you're going to need to stay for, I guess until I get some more soldiers… or until the empire backs off.” You huffed, staring into Echo’s eyes.

“Are you.. okay?” You blurted, glancing away from him for a moment. “I wasn't at first, but I had good friends who helped me get better.. who made me feel better. I may be more of a machine, but I still feel like I did when we first met.” He explained, and you nodded, looking at him again.

“Well, we’ve still got the day ahead of us, so why don’t I give you a tour of the palace? and you can meet my sister.” You suggested, and offered your arm to him, which he took with a smile.

You showed off the main points of interest of the castle before you reached the throne room, pushing the large double doors open, smiling as you saw your sister perched on her throne. “Oh! Good morning dear sister, who’s your friend?” Your sister questioned as you and Echo walked forward. “This is the protection I told you about when the attempts first started.” You explained, smiling at Echo who in return smiled at you.

“I’m just giving him the tour.” You added, however, you noticed an uneasy look on your sister's face, and you frowned. “Is something wrong?” You asked, however your sister shook her head. “No! No of course not… maybe you should take Echo for a trip to the petel fields?” She suggested, and your eyes widened.

“o-of course your majesty.” You replied, grabbing Echo’s hand as you led him out of the throne room. “What’s going on? what’s the petel fields?” He asked, following behind you as you practically dragged him through the halls until you reached the fence that led to the forest. “Infultraters. we made a code, and Petel fields means leave the castle and get to the safe place.” You explained, finding an opening in the fence where you slipped through, gesturing for Echo to follow.

“What about the queen, is she going to be okay?” Echo asked as he followed you through the forest. “The guards know the protocols. She will be escorted to her quarters and defended there.” You explained… at least that's what you desperately hoped for…

Just then, you heard shouts coming from your right, and as you turned your head you saw several storm troopers heading towards you. “Run!” You exclaimed, unclipping your cape as you threw it at the troopers before running with Echo through the brush.

You had a certain path to follow, one that would take you to the safe room you and your sister created in the cave system underneath the castle. You grabbed Echo’shand, taking a sharp turn down a small hill, disappearing in a crack in the stone wall. Echo grunted as he squeezed himself through, and then chased after you through the cave, trying not to get distracted by the shining stones that made the cave glow.

You heard shots being fired at the crack in the wall, the stormtroopers hoping to break open the crack some more to get in, but instead of opening it, they only made it worse as the top part of the cavern in that area started to crumble before falling, blocking the entrance.

You cursed under your breath, squeezing your eyes shut as you listened to the harsh beating of your heart.

thump thump, thump thump

“I’m okay… I'm okay.” You whispered to yourself, turning to look at Echo, who had a concerned look on his face. “Come on, there's another exit that leads us farther away from the castle, but it will be safe.” You explained, and led him through the caverns.

You were very silent as you and Echo walked side by side, however as you entered a cavern with hot springs, you let yourself pause, and tried to relax… But the nerves just kept building up, and you kept thinking about your sister.

“Let’s take a break.” You muttered to Echo, and sat down by the hot springs, letting the steam climb up your back slightly. You hugged your knees to your chest, not wanting to give away what you were feeling, but Echo could tell just by looking at you that you were stressed, and worried and right now it was all crashing down at you all at once.

A single tear fell down your cheek, before the onslaught came and you hid your face in your arms which rested on your knees. Echo, who had been sitting across from you had now moved to sit beside you, hearing your quiet sobs that were muffled by your arms.

Slowly he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, and you fell apart even more, letting your arms wrap around his torso as you gripped him tightly, your years steadily streaming down your face as you cried.

Echo just held you, knowing that this comfort was all you needed at the moment, just the silent reassurance that you weren’t alone. Eventually your tears came to a halt, and you slowly pulled yourself away from his grip, staring into his eyes which were once a deep brown, and were now a pale yellow, almost golden in color.

“You're not just a machine to me Echo… I want you to know that.” You sniffled, gently laying a hand on his mechanical leg. “You may have metal parts… but you're still you… and- i’m still me… we’re human and nothing and nobody is gonna change that,: You whispered to him, seeing the slight smile that crept up his lips.

“Thank you Y/n.” He muttered, and you just sat beside him, resting your head against his shoulder as a sigh escaped your lips. “I’m so worried Echo… about my sister, my home… all of it.” You muttered, sitting there for a few more moments before you stood up.

“Come on, we shouldn’t dawdle anymore. I have to make sure my sister’s okay.” You breathed out.

Soon you had exited the cave systems, and cautiously made your way back to the castle. Everything was eerily quiet, so in turn, so were you and Echo.

You reached the throne room, poking your head inside to look around when you spotted it, a limp form on the throne, blood splattered around it. A sharp gasp left your lips, and you immediately ran towards the throne, more tears springing from your eyes as your sister laid cold in your arms.

“No!” You roared, holding her tightly. “Where were the guards!” You shouted, clutching the queen to your body as you sobbed.

Echo knelt down by your side, placing his hand gently on your shoulder, frowning down at the body in your arms. “Come on, we need to get you somewhere safe. The castles been compromised.” He muttered, but you refused to let your sister go.

She was still warm, but her life was gone. She was freshly murdered, and you were furious…

The guards finally arrived, having heard your shouts. The guard captain approached, horror written across his face. “Oh no… gods…” He muttered, and you snapped your head around, glaring at him with the fury of hundreds. “Where were you! You were supposed to defend her!” You shouted, your grip on her body loosened now, which allowed Echo to move her away from you.

You stood up, taking a few steps towards the guard captain. “We found knocked out guards a few moments ago Senator, So we rushed here as soon as we found them… I'm so sorry.” He whispered, avoiding your furious stare.

“Fools.” You sneered, Pushing past them. “Gather all able bodied men and women, arm them and push these imperials off my planet!” You shouted, glancing back at your dead sister, whom Echo had covered with the cape she had worn earlier today.

You clenched your hands into fists, and turned away. “The duty falls to the second in line… I am the successor. So once these imperials are wiped out, we will take further action… until then Those are your orders. Echo, with me.” You ordered, and the man was by your side in an instant as you walked out of the throne room towards your quarters.

The tears were still flowing amidst All that anger, and when you reached your quarters you let out a furious scream, grabbing the nearest item to throw against the wall, which ended up being a vase which shattered upon impact.

Echo walked up behind you, turning your head towards him as he pulled you into his embrace, rubbing your back as you sobbed again… Now with the loss of your sister, and the oncoming burden of The crown, and the threat of your own death…

it Shattered you.

Every memory of your sister, every laugh, and smile in your mind. It shattered you. But Echo held you up even as your legs gave out from underneath you.

He had swooped you up into his arms, carrying you to your bedroom where he laid you in bed. But he didn't leave your side, running his fingers through your hair to help calm you down.

The tears slowed, and your sobs quieted as you just laid there, unmoving and unspeaking.

The guards carried Out your will and armed those who could and were willing to fight for Abrium. And they fought for days against whatever troops the empire sent. And for those days you were just frozen. In fear, grief? Maybe a bit of it all.

But Echo was there for you, he made sure you ate and stayed hydrated. With your minimal verbal confirmation He had changed you into your sleeping clothes so you were more comfortable. And he protected you just like he swore to you he would.

The imperials ran after four days of fighting. Your people were skilled, and it scared the empire as more and more of their troops perished. And they soon gave up on your planet, thinking it was not worth the resources anymore…

You started climbing out of your haze by then, at least for your sister's funeral. You didn't speak, you had the right to mourn just like your citizens did, and they understood too…

Echo wouldn't leave until he knew you were okay, and you were so grateful for him, and his witty conversations. It was something you had started to look forward to every morning… and fall in love with all over again…

You had been with him years ago, if only for a brief moment. It was the best years of your life that you had spent with him. And now all that was coming back to you… Especially on your coronation day.

You stood tall, your eyes never leaving Echos as he stood by the seats in your line or vision as you were crowned Queen of Abrium. It was a responsibility you never wanted, but a responsibility you'd take if it meant keeping your people safe… but there was more you could do…

“People of Abrium!” You shouted, your voice carrying across the large palace plateau, seeing All your people gathered together to see you take leadership. “We firsthand have seen the horrors the Empire Is willing to commit just for greed! And there have been sparks in the galaxy, rebels who want to fight back against this wretched empire!” You exclaimed, glancing at Echo as you smiled.

“I am proud to announce to you that these rebel cells will have our support! And a place to settle if need be! I will not stand by as innocents, like us, are slaughtered for not complying with the Empire's new rule!” You shouted, and your people cheered. “We will usher in a new era, together. And we will fight for peace!”

More cheers erupted from the crowd, and you smiled, but were quickly overwhelmed. Echo was about to step towards you to congratulate you when a loud shot sounded through the plateau.

It was like the world was moving in slow motion as Echo saw the red blaster shot fly past him and imbed itself in your chest, closer to your shoulder. You fell to The ground, your guards immediately surrounding you. Echo rushed to you as well, crouching down by your side as more guards were sent out to find the assailant.

Echo cupped your cheek with his hand, quietly begging for you to wake up, to not die… He applied pressure to the bleeding wound on your shoulder, and he heard a wince leave your lips. He sighed in relief. If you were in pain, then you weren't dead.

“We need to get her to the infirmary.” Echo stated, lifting you up in his arms as he nodded to the guards, who kept a tight formation around you and Echo as he brought you to the palace infirmary.

The nurse droid told him you'd be fine, but even then he never left your side. keeping your hand in his as you recovered.

So much chaos, and pain that you had to endure these past months since you first were attacked. Echo felt horrible for you… which made leaving your side when the time came even harder, especially now that a relationship had bloomed between you two. As much as you tried to hide your attraction, Echo very much felt the same about you, and you knew it too.

He had kissed you the night before your coronation, and you kissed him back. You praised him, and made him feel comfortable In his skin. You were significantly shorter than him, so brushing against his metal parts was common, but every time you did you reassured him that you didn't mind it, and you still cared for him regardless.

He wanted you to know he cared for you too, so much…

“Mhm- Echo” You whispered, your weak voice catching his attention in an instant. Echo stared at you, squeezing your hand gently. “Are you okay love? Do you need anything? Water?” He asked, but a light squeeze from your hand told him all he needed to know, and he calmed down, pressing his head to yours.

“You scared me, Mesh'la.” He muttered, hearing your soft chuckle. “I'm sorry my darling… but I have a question for you.” You spoke softly, seeing Echo pull back so you could look at him properly. “Echo… I want you to stay with me. I want to be able to love you, and see you every day.” You whispered, holding his hand tightly.

“Mesh'la i-”

“Marry Me.” You breathed out, your words catching him off guard entirely. “What?” He asked, and you grinned coyly. “Marry Me, silly man. lead your rebellion here, help Rex Not just as a trooper, but as a king” You mused, lifting his hand to your lips as you kissed his knuckles gently. “I-”

“Think about it, darling.”

And think about what he did. Years Later you stood with Echo, having landed on Pabu for a little visit so you could meet his brothers, his family… so you could get married in a place that was so gorgeous, surrounded by kind people and family.

If your sister was watching, you knew she'd be proud of you…

You stared up into the sky, holding Echo’s hand as birds flew above you. You turned to look at him, noticing that he was already staring at you. “I love you, Echo.” You whispered, leaning into him as he chuckled.

“I love you too, Mesh'la”

➺

Tag list:

Echo tag:

All:

@moomoog017

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 19 ~ Goodbye

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 2

✧ Word Count : 3.7k

In this chapter ~ In a fit of panic and utter devastation, Rose is forced to make the hardest and most painful decision she has ever had to make in her life. But in her mind, it was all for the best. Although, someone seemed to catch her in her little white lies.

There was silence, with a slight ringing left in my ears. The world felt like it stopped spinning for a second, though it was short, it seemed like we all silently felt it. As soon as that little girl's body hit the ground with a soft thud, everything paused for this devastating moment in time.

Carol's sobs never stopped for her daughter as she eventually squirmed out of my hold, rushing towards the RV as she cried. And I let her go. This was truly an unexpected loss, one that we didn't even want to imagine let alone actually face it. She needed time to mourn, time to heal, so I let her go.

Beth then ran forward, crying and approaching the sea of dead walkers that we left behind, her eyes scanning each and every one. She bent down when she saw a familiar face, sniffling as she kneels closer to see them a bit better. But suddenly the walker jolted back up, still somehow alive as it grabbed ahold of her while it could.

She let out an ear piercing scream the second she felt its cold grasp, causing me to jump back up to my feet and rush over towards her as fast as I could. I grabbed onto her arm in attempts to pry the dead one off of her, while Andrea didn't have to think twice before shooting it in the head. The second she was out of its grasp Beth fell into my arms sobbing, burying her face to try and silence her cries.

I just held her close, noticing after a moment that a few tears escaped my eyes as well, running down my cheeks effortlessly. I tried to comfort her as best as I could while rubbing her back softly, she just continued to cling onto my shirt as her sobs only grew. Hershel then made his way over to me with his arms extended out, and I gently pulled Beth off of me, lightly pushing her towards her dad. He quickly took her in his arms, glaring daggers at the few men that still stood around the empty barn, before the Greene's were back off towards the house. Only now, he wasn't sparing any of us a second glance.

Though Shane wasn't willing to accept that as he began to follow them, hearing him already beginning to start something else as if what he had just done wasn't enough.

But I took this as my opportunity and slipped away too. I saw the obvious fight that was about to happen between Shane and Hershel, and I did not want to be a part of it. Shane had probably ruined our chances at staying here and the Greene's would just kick us off their property without batting an eye.

Needless to say, I began to walk quickly towards the woods to just get away from everything. The chaos, the cries, and even everyone else whom I couldn't even bare to look at right now. I felt as if I had just been punched in the stomach after witnessing something my mind couldn't even fathom, and I needed to get away before I exploded.

But much to my dismay, I didn't make it very far, not far at all, before I heard his voice speak up softly from behind me.

"Where you goin?" he asked.

I sighed heavily before turning around to face him, "Just away. I need... I need to get out of here for a while."

He slowly nodded in understanding, "Ya want to be alone?"

"Yeah." I said simply, trying to fight the tears that threatened to spill in front of him. I didn't want him to see me break, not now, not ever.

But he noticed the obvious slight crack in my voice as I held in my emotions, daring to take a step closer to me, but I only took a step back. A small frown stretched onto his lips at my actions but I needed space. I needed to think.

"I'm sorry I just... I need to go." I muttered before turning around without another word.

I made my way deeper and deeper into the forest, shoving the branches out of my way and not stopping for anything. I didn't know where to go, where to run off to, all I knew was that I couldn't stay on that farm for another second. Not when the dead bodies were only piled up front and center for everyone to see.

Time almost didn't exist as I didn't know how long I walked quickly through the trees, only stopping suddenly when I spotted a log that I could sit on for a while. I plopped down slowly with a huff, trying to steady my racing heart as I was clearly moving faster than I realized. But as soon as I felt myself relax, the tears only resurfaced, and this time, the dam broke completely.

Today was the first day I have cried in a very long time, I couldn't even remember the last time I had. But today I did. I cried for the group, I cried for Carol, and I cried for Sophia. Everyone has been through so much in such a short amount of time, it seemed as though everything was going wrong all at once. Only getting worse as time went on.

I stayed out there for what felt like hours, repeatedly wiping my eyes over and over again as the flood wouldn't stop. But my movements suddenly paused, remembering something that made me snap back into reality faster than I ever had before.

This was it, this was the reason I was on my own. This was the reason I couldn't be around anyone else, why I couldn't function well with a group. I've gotten too attached to these people, each and every one of them meant something to me, and I thought of them as family. Sophia's death just reminded me of all the cons when it came to having people around.

In the very back of my mind I knew that I was better off on my own, and the thought of leaving suddenly creeped back into my head. It would hurt them, and I knew that, but life would go on and over time they would forget about me. They would carry on, hopefully moving forward even after a hard day like this. I knew deep down that they would thrive and be just fine throughout the rest of their lives. The lives that I would no longer be a part of.

Tears formed in my eyes once more as I thought more about leaving this group behind, but I quickly blinked them away. I had cried enough, and I had already made my decision. I would leave tonight.

I didn't want to, truly it pained me more than I would ever let on, but I couldn't keep doing this. Getting close with someone and then having them taken away from you is more painful than any gunshot wound could ever be.

I had stayed out in the woods for much longer than I realized, probably thinking much more than I needed to. But eventually I noticed where the sun was placed in the sky, and I thought it was a good time to head back to the farm. Though I was walking for a pretty long time as I slowly made my way back, not really knowing how far I ran.

When the house started to come into view, I could see people starting to gather around what looked like a few graves. It clicked together in my mind that they had cleaned everything up, now having a funeral for Sophia and Hershel's loved ones. To me, it couldn't have felt like worse timing, but yet I still walked up to them slowly, trying not to draw attention as they all turned to silently pay their respects.

But I wasn't alone for long before I felt a presence beside me and I looked to my right, seeing Glenn looking down at me with sympathy in his eyes. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and held me close to him as we listened. I didn't fail to notice that Carol was missing the second I walked in here, but I also understood why she might not have wanted to come. It was painful enough to see her walk out of that barn, why would she want to face everyone after that happened?

After Hershel was done reading from the bible, we all stood there in silence for a few moments, though it was long and painful as you could probably hear a pin drop among us. Then little by little, people started to slowly break away as they had said their final goodbye.

But my eyes followed Daryl once he stepped forward, delicately placing a Cherokee rose on top of Sophia's grave. My heart broke even more if that were possible, seeing the defeated look on his face once he stepped away was only the cherry on top of the cake.

Moments after that, I slowly broke away from Glenn without glancing back at him. I couldn't. Not when I knew I would soon be leaving him after everything. He was always there to comfort me when I needed it, and he was the first one who actually cared enough to get to know me. He gave me a chance that no one else did at first. His kindness alone is what would make me miss him more than anything, but I needed to protect myself and him as well. I just hoped that he would understand in the end.

I mindlessly headed towards the RV where I assumed Carol was sitting, wanting her to know at least once how much I wanted to be there for her. Although I didn't want to bombard her further, I wanted her to know how much I felt for her. Just once.

When I slowly entered the space, she was sat right at the table near the window, staring blankly at the graves that were practically across the field. My steps were slow and hesitant as I approached her, but I didn't hesitate to sit down across from her once I reached the seat.

She didn't glance over at me, nor did I say a word, I only reached down and grasped one of her hands in my own, squeezing it lightly. Her eyes met mine when the feeling registered in her mind, giving me the best smile she was able to muster without uttering a thing, but I didn't expect her to. But I wanted her to know that I was here right now to give her any kind of comfort that she needed.

I sat with her in silence for a few minutes before I could sense she just wanted to be alone, so I left to head into the house. It was surprisingly quiet when I walked in, no on really lingering in the space as I headed towards the kitchen to grab something to eat.

I was only met with Beth standing near the sink as she washed a few dishes silently. She hardly moved, barely even acknowledged my presence when I was far from quiet the moment I walked in the room.

"Hey hon." I greeted her, hoping I could grab her attention, but she didn't respond.

My eyebrows pulled together in concern as I watched her hand slowly stop washing the plate in her grasp, before she suddenly became limp, starting to fall to the ground. My arms instinctively extended out, but she hit the floor far too fast before I could catch her, landing on the tile with a loud bang. I rushed over to her with widened eyes, lifting her head up to see her skin looked deathly pale.

"Hershel! Maggie!" I called out, hoping someone would be close.

Only seconds after my voice echoed throughout the house, footsteps came rushing into the room, whipping my head around to see Maggie standing there in shock.

"What happened?" she asked frantically.

I shook my head, "I don't know, she was washing the dishes and then she just fell."

"Okay... let's get her to her room, will you help me?" she asked.

"Yeah of course." I instantly replied.

She moved over quickly, helping me as we slung either of her arms over our shoulders to bring her all the way upstairs. The two of us carefully set her down on her back flat on the mattress, Maggie moving quickly now to try and figure out what was wrong. Neither of us knew where Hershel was so the moment I knew Beth was safe, I made my way out of the house to see if anyone else had seen him recently.

Rick walked past the second I opened the front door, and I took my chances as I called his name, gesturing him to come over.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately upon seeing the look I had on my face.

"Have you seen Hershel? Beth collapsed and we don't know what's wrong with her." I said quickly.

But he shook his head, "I haven't seen him since the funeral." he stated.

My mouth parted to respond, but Maggie's voice cut through whatever I was about to say. "Rose! Come here for a second!"

I didn't need to think twice before I turned around back into the house, Rick following close behind me. She was holding something in her hands and when I got a closer look, I saw that it was a flask with beautiful patterns engraved on the sides.

"I think I know where he is. He was a drinker before I was born, and there's a bar not too far from here and I think he might've gone there. The walkers, the funeral... it all might've been too much for him." Maggie rambled in a panic.

Rick nodded immediately, "I'll go after him, just tell me where it is."

Maggie looked over at me, and I knew what she was silently asking. "Go, I'll keep an eye on Beth." I spoke.

She smiled gratefully and gave my arm a squeeze before walking off with Rick to give him the directions on where to head off. I looked over to my right as I watched them leave for a few moments, before my eyes suddenly caught sight of Daryl making his way towards me quite quickly. My heart involuntarily did a flip and without thinking, I quickly rushed up the stairs, not daring to look back at him. I couldn't talk to him. If I talked to him; it would make me want to stay.

After I made it through the threshold of the girl's room, I closed the door quietly behind me as I glanced over in Beth's direction. Her eyes were still closed as beads of sweat pooled at the top of her forehead, and I began to move forward to sit at the edge of her bed, taking her hand in my own.

Seeing her like this only caused my mind to spiral. Not just because of this, but because of everything that seemed to be happening all at the same time. People being shot, the walkers, Sophia, the funeral, leaving everyone. The last one still caused my heart to sting the most. I grew clueless as I had no idea what I would do, or what I would say- oh my God what would I say? What could I say?

Suddenly, a lightbulb appeared just right above my head as I let go of Beth's hand, starting to search around her room for paper and a pen. After only a few seconds I found them pretty quickly in a nearby desk drawer before I sat myself back down on the mattress.

My mind raced as I started writing everything I wanted to say down on this piece of paper. Every little thing that I wanted to get off my chest, and every little thing that I wanted him to know. I needed to leave something, not just disappear and have them constantly wondering if I went missing too. I couldn't just leave them in the dark.

Although I was startled when the door in front of me suddenly flew back open, Maggie standing there a bit out of breath, but she still managed a smile.

"Hey, I'm sorry I took so long. Glenn decided to go with Rick to get my dad back." she informed me.

"Oh, it's okay, I just hope they all make it back safe." I said with a small smile.

She nodded and sat down next to me, "What are you writing?" she asked.

I folded the piece of paper and shook my head, "Just my thoughts, I wanted to write them all down to... I don't know, get them out of my head, I guess? Does that make any sense?" I chuckled.

She nodded immediately, "No it does, I get it. A lot happened today and honestly, I can't wait for it to be over."

I just nodded in return and we sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, just listening to the clock ticking by the seconds in the corner of the room. I could tell she was worried about her dad, but she tried to put up a front that she was fine. But I could tell she definitely wasn't fine, her fidgety hands and darting eyes mostly gave her away.

"I really hope my dad lets you guys stay..." she suddenly admitted, "I like having you here."

I looked at her and gave her a sad smile. "Yeah me too." I replied.

She returned the gesture, before wrapping her arm around my shoulders and pulled me in for a side hug, while I wrapped my arm around her as the silence filled around us once again. I was trying not to let myself get emotional yet again because I knew no matter if the group was allowed to say or not, I would be leaving Maggie and Beth behind.

What I was doing was far from easy, but in the end it would protect me the most from something that left me terrified. I just had to keep telling myself that eventually they would get over it, and so would I.

I found that I purposely avoided Glenn, Daryl, and Carl today simply because I felt like I couldn't look at any of them in the eyes and lie to them. But then it seemed to hit me that if Glenn left with Rick, I probably would never see him again. Swallowing thickly, I shook my head as to not even give the tears a chance to return to my eyes before I was abruptly getting up from the bed.

"Well, I'm going to head out."

She smiled and nodded, "Okay, see you later."

I hummed a response before walking out of the room and down the creaking steps, making my way towards Daryl's tent. Though I noticed pretty quickly it wasn't in the same place that I recognized, but much further away from everyone. But I didn't question it too much because I didn't really care, silently knowing that he had his reasons for moving away. Maybe his thought process wasn't too far off from mine.

Daryl sat tall on a tree stump towards the left of the tent when I approached the space, sharpening the knife I recognized, his eyes not even glancing in my direction. I didn't mind though, I didn't want to talk to him if I didn't have to, it would just make it even harder than it already was. His movements didn't halt even when I was standing only inches away, fixated on what he was doing rather than my presence.

My fingertips barely brushed up against the fabric of the tent, reaching for the zipper to finally pull it open, when something thick cut through the silent air that stopped me completely.

"Yer avoidin me."

His voice echoed around the quiet, causing me to shut my eyes tightly as I mentally cursed at the sudden small talk. But I still turned back to face him again, seeing that there truly wasn't a way out of it now. But his eyes never looked up at me as he spoke, just stayed focused on the weapon in his hands.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice coming out a little more aggressive than I intended.

My tone seemed to catch his attention pretty quick as his eyes now snapped to me, "I mean whenever I try to talk to ya, ya disappear."

I slightly threw my hands up in the air, "I just needed to be alone today."

"Yer lyin." he accused.

"No, I'm not." I said defensively.

"Yeah, ya are. I saw you go in to check on Carol, I saw you talkin to Maggie and Rick, and I saw you go up to look after Beth. Yer lyin. Yer avoidin me. Why?" he asked.

I scoffed at his obvious attention to detail, "Okay, first of all I checked on Carol because she didn't even show up to her own daughter's funeral. Second, I was talking to Maggie and Rick because Hershel's missing and we need to find him for Beth, who in case you forgot, is unconscious at the moment. And third I am not avoiding you, I just didn't want to talk, okay?"

He stared at me for a few moments, and I just knew in the back of my mind he didn't believe a word that was coming out of my mouth. I felt bad for lying to him, but I had to do this, and I knew if I told him the truth he would surely try to stop me.

When I realized he wasn't going to respond, I turned around and went into the tent to gather my things together, I made sure I had enough food and water in my bag as well. I had all of my weapons with me, and then took out the piece of paper from my pocket and scribbled Daryl's name on the front of it with the pen I still had from Beth's room. I propped it up on his sleeping bag and took the Cherokee rose he had gotten for me, placing it right next to the note.

Once I had gotten everything together, I poked my head out of the tent to see Daryl was now nowhere in sight. I walked out with my things and gave one last long look at the farmhouse before heading off into the woods, walking away for good. My eyes stung more and more with every step I took, but for some reason, I didn't stop.

~ Thanks for reading!

[whumpshaped]

Helle and beckett, but they are dancing (i know, crazy.)

anywho they're dancing and having some fun. genuine fun and afterwards helle feeds off beck but takes care to be gentle... Idk I thought maybe there shouldn't always be a bad time, maybe a less awful time at least

masterlist

tw vampire whumper, idle whump, intimate whumper, emotional whump, memory loss

"It is such a beautiful night tonight." Helle was jumping around on one of the classical music playlists, skipping forward, changing their mind, going back. Beck didn't know any of the pieces, but the vampire seemed very intentional. They were looking for something. "The kind that brings up memories."

"Of when you were still alive?"

They tilted their head just a little, lost in thought. They skipped another piece. "I think so. I wish I could say for sure."

Beck didn't really understand whenever they said something like this. More and more, he was beginning to think Helle barely remembered their life. And while he wasn't terribly sympathetic towards a demon like them, this thought always made him a little sad.

"What memories?" he asked gently.

"Maybe memory is the wrong word to use." They finally settled on a soft melody, one that reminded Beck of old movies and ballroom dances. "It is more of a... feeling." They turned around and extended a hand to him, paired with a smile that seemed quite genuine compared to the mocking or condescending ones he was usually given. "I can show you what I mean."

"Ah, uh..." He swallowed nervously, realising Helle was definitely asking for a dance. "I've never... um... I've never done, uh–"

They rolled their eyes, but without any real malice behind the gesture. "Yes, I figured. Lucky for you, I can lead wonderfully."

They pulled him up from the sofa despite his protests, guiding his left hand to their shoulder and taking the right one in their own. He flinched a little when they put a hand on his waist, and they murmured a soothing 'relax' in response.

"You do not have to worry about anything," they reassured him again, and really, Beck was trying not to; new situations simply weren't his strong suit.

But Helle wasn't lying when they said they could lead. It was... strange, to trust them so unconditionally. Maybe it was the fact that it was already late into the night and he was tired, but it barely took him a couple minutes to start believing that Helle wasn't about to use this opportunity to completely humiliate him in some way. It was so easy to to allow them full control over his movements.

"This is the memory," they whispered. "Dancing in the moonlight, carefree and... happy, I think. My body remembers the steps and how it felt to hold someone... But I cannot actually remember the night, nor the person I was holding."

Beck felt a pang of compassion, an emotion that always scared him when it came to Helle. He couldn't help it. The moment was so intimate, even between the two of them. He couldn't imagine what it would've been like to have shared it with someone he loved, then forget about it so completely.

"I'm sorry," he said without thinking, and it made Helle chuckle.

"For what? Whoever it was, they are most likely dead by now. It is better for me to forget."

As the piece was coming to its end, Helle stopped and changed their hold on his hand. He didn't say a thing when they slowly brought it to their lips, biting into the soft flesh on the inside of his wrist. It was almost gentle, the way they did it. Careful. As though they didn't want to break this spell of calm.

Beck was thankful that he could lean on them, and even more so for the hand still resting on his waist, steadying him. It was almost comforting. The playlist moved on as Helle fed, and the room was filled with another melancholic tune. He could've easily fallen asleep to it.

"You should get some rest," Helle said when they finished, and Beck could hardly believe his wishes were coming true. He didn't need to be told twice.

"Thank you," he said quietly before he turned to go back to his bedroom. "It was... a nice evening. And night."

"All I hear is that you want to slow dance with me every night from now on," they teased, and Beck huffed out a laugh. As if. "You are right, though," they went on, their voice taking on a more serious tone that made him stop and hear them out. "It was nice. Thank you for indulging me, dear."

~

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @the-cyrulik @pirefyrelight @there-will-always-be-blood @pigeonwhumps @echo-goes-mmm @whumpycries @morning-star-whump @d-cs @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @tauntedoctopuses @blueyellow8green @typewrittenfangs @whumpsoda @steh-lar-uh-nuhs

[snootlestheangel]

Break For Your Heart Snippet

"🔫 for something Prison Break AU related " from Snootles's homebrew ask game @stuffireadandenjoy *this sat in my drafts way too long. I had an idea and then it went poof! But I like this one better*

[takes place post-prison break]

"What's it like?" Simon asked, breaking the awkward silence as they both struggled to fall asleep. Soap didn't move from his bed, kept his back to Simon, and for a brief moment, he tricked Simon into thinking he had managed to fall asleep.

"What's what like?" Soap finally grunted, as he had grown tired of the eyes burning into the back of his head.

"Taking someone's life." Simon whispered into the dark room, and this prompted Soap into lifting his head off the pillow long enough to glance at Simon over his shoulder.

"I felt powerful." Soap whispered back just as quietly, and the words lingered in the cold air longer than they should have.

"Granted, I don't consider the lives I took to be people. They were monsters." Something in the way Soap growled the word made a knot form in Simon's stomach. A knot of sympathy, a knowing and an understanding. It wasn't the first time Soap had hinted at taking the life of an abuser, but Simon still wasn't sure of the relationship between Soap and his apparent abuser.

"Remember me telling you about the guy that I burned alive? How I shoved a poker through his chest so he couldn't get up?" Soap asked, and the quiet, almost shameful way he spoke sent a chill down Simon's spine.

"Yeah."

"We were partners. We'd been together for about four years by then. He had started hitting me a year prior. He got worse." Soap paused long enough to swallow past the knot forming in his throat, but Simon didn't mind. He knew the pain of having to recount your trauma to someone else.

"I was burning papers that had personal information. They were outdated by several years, and I needed to get rid of 'em. He came home drunk again. We started arguing and it got heated pretty fast. I remember feeling so fed up with his bullshit that when he got physical, I just saw red. I pushed him harder and he lost his balance. I don't even really remember grabbing the poker, if I'm being honest." Soap trailed off towards the end, but Simon couldn't form anything to say. What could he say to such a confession?

"I was happy though. Watching him burn felt good. Same thing I told the cops, same thing I told the judge. I did it, and I don't regret it."

"I'm sorry, Johnny." Simon breathed out, finding nothing else to convey everything he was feeling in the moment.

"'S fine, I guess. Fucked up by extending my sentence but, I don't regret killing those guards either." Soap stated rather matter-of-factly as he tried to cover a yawn. Simon's eyes widened as he stared at Soap, the other oblivious to his panic.

"You killed guards?"

"Aye. They were right bastards though. Kept using their power to hurt some of the prisoners in other wings. They knew better than to mess with us, but one day they fucked up. They got arrogant and fell for my trap." Soap had gotten quiet again, but this time his voice was filled with the call of sleep, yet Simon couldn't be more awake.

"Is that why the guards were all afraid of you?"

"Aye. It's how I got the name Soap, too." Soap mumbled, and the additional information only made Simon frown.

"How exactly?"

"Tied 'em up with their belts. Dislocated their jaws and shoved a bar of soap down each their throats. Held their nose so they couldn't breathe." Soap murmured, shifting so he sank further into the pillows.

"Yeh sure are askin' a lot of questions, Si." Soap said, a light chuckle accompanying his words. A blush burned at his ears, and for once, Simon was grateful for the dark.

"Guess I'm morbid like the rest of them." Simon mumbled back, and Soap only snorted.

"I think it's cause yeh like me." Simon blamed Soap's words on the effects of sleep, as the Scot was quick to begin softly snoring after the teasing words.

"G'night Johnny."

[alice-after-dark]

Late Night with the Radio Demon - The Deal

Tagging @hiemaldesirae as promised :)

Vincent and Alastor hash out their deal.

Vincent is still sitting on the floor of his destroyed apartment, staring up at the strange looking deer man above him.

He is the Radio Demon and he wants to make a deal.

"It's quite simple, really! Quite simple!" he crooned, unsettling smile too wide. "You do some favors for me, and I'll use my power to guarantee your success!"

It did seem simple enough...too simple. Vincent had been in the television industry long enough to know that nothing was ever so easy. All around them, the shadows writhed and twisted as though alive. A thin tendril slithered over his hand and he quickly snatched it away, heart threatening to break free from his ribcage. Slowly, the TV host got to his feet, making sure to keep some distance between himself and the demon.

"I can give you everything your little heart desires!" the Radio Demon continued. "All I need from you is a little cooperation."

"Why?" Ah yes, let us question the all-powerful eldritch demon standing in our living room. That can only go well. "Why are you interested in helping me?"

Wait.

Was he seriously considering this?

It was insanity at its finest. Making a deal with a demon. A very real fucking demon. But what were his options, really? He was expected to double his ratings by the end of the month. Yes, his show was steadily climbing in popularity, but such a jump would be impossible. Impossible...without a little help. Fuck, he really was considering this.

"For the entertainment, of course!" the demon cackled. "Of course it would just be bad business to not require some form of payment for my services, but truly my interest lies in the entertainment of humanity and its pathetic, desperate attempts at improvement! Laughable, really, but so amusing to watch them try!" He extended a hand, bowing forward. "So do we have a deal?"

Vincent swallowed, physically restraining his own hand from grasping the demon's. "Not yet." He struggled to keep his voice even. Inky black tendrils hovered around him like curious snakes. "These...favors...they can't interfere with my success...and...I only owe you one a day."

The demon blinked and Vincent felt his throat tighten. Aaaaaand this is where I die, he thought.

The Radio Demon's ever-present smile seemed to stretch beyond the limits of his face, eyes alighting in hardly contained glee.

"Ǒ̷̱h̵͙͝ ̷͔͊y̴̰͐ë̸̜́s̷̹͛," he hissed through the tinny static that reverberated through his voice. "Ì̶̳ ̴̻̌t̷̠̄h̸̜̿î̸̩n̵̦̂k̵͉̔ ̵̼̈́y̷͈̑ô̸̩ű̸̞ ̸̣̀w̵̞̐ỉ̸͍l̶̗͋ľ̵̨ ̸͚͆p̷͙̃ṟ̷̍o̶̐ͅv̶̻̓ě̸̳ ̴̺̉t̷̮͠ǫ̴́ ̶͈̌b̵̓͜e̷͓͐ ̶͝ͅq̶̣̑u̷̞̾ḯ̴̩ẗ̴͇́e̵̓ͅ ̸̲͋e̵̜̿n̶̩̒t̷̲̿e̵̦̾r̸̟̐t̶̜͆a̴͓͒ĩ̷̡n̵̻͑i̴̩̎ṋ̸͌g̸̤͂ ̶̱̀ĩ̴̱ņ̷͘d̴̨̓e̶̳͠è̷̖d̴͙̃." He pulled his hand back. "Not unreasonable requests, my dear, not unreasonable at all. However, in light of your...additions, I'm inclined to offer my own caveats as well." He twirled his cane (microphone?) and rested both hands on top of it, meeting Vincent's eyes. "If you at any point refuse my daily requested favor, I get your soul."

A chill rushed through the TV host. "My soul?"

The Radio Demon only nodded. "Only if you outright refuse, of course. Questions and comments are permitted."

Okay. Okay, that was easy enough. Just don't refuse. The demon couldn't ask for anything that would get in the way of his success so that should have ruled out quite a lot of dangerous options.

"Okay, but...you can't ask me for anything impossible...or to knowingly harm myself in any way."

The demon looked delighted. "My, my. Covering your bases, I see."

"I've been in this business long enough to know what a good contract looks like."

The deer man hummed. "I must admit, you're being far more forward than most that I've dealt with. It's quite a pleasant change of pace."

Vincent tried to not to preen at the praise. No time for that right now. Keep your head screwed on.

A clawed hand extended towards him expectantly.

Vincent took it.

The reaction was instantaneous. The room lit up in blacks and bright greens. The tendrils thrashed and encircled them. The Radio Demon's maw stretched to impossible lengths and suddenly that creature was back again. The one that had dragged itself free from the void of the radio. The demon's hand was massive around Vincent's own pale one, the deer man towering over him with that same unsettling grin plastered to his features. For a moment, Vincent was utterly sure he'd made some mistake. The Radio Demon would kill him now and that would be the end of everything. Someone would eventually find his mutilated corpse...if there was anything left of it.

Then green chains burst forth from the shadows, wrapping around their hands and up their arms and binding them together. He could feel the burn of them through the fabric of his jacket and he couldn't stop himself from crying out at the pain. The room was spinning. He was going to be sick.

It burned.

It burned.

It burned.

Slowly, the magic ebbed away, leaving Vincent dizzy and disoriented, the hand around his own being the only thing keeping him upright. With a flourishing little spin, the Radio Demon sent him stumbling backwards to sit on the couch. Pain lanced up his arm when he landed and Vincent scrambled, wrenching off his jacket and yanking up his sleeve. There was no sign of damage, no burns or anything that could have caused such agonizing pain. All that remained of it now was a dull ache that permeated down to his bones. The deer man chuckled.

"Ah, the first time is always quite the thrill, hmm? You didn't faint, though! That's an accomplishment!"

Vincent didn't want to admit just how close he had come to doing just that.

"So..." He swallowed. "What happens now?"

The Radio Demon tucked his hands behind his back. "Well, my dear, now I get to work and I believe you owe me today's favor."

Fuck, they were already starting? That...well, that did make sense, but somehow Vincent thought he might have a little more time to process the whole thing.

The demon snickered. "Tell you what. I'll give you an easy one to start. Something to get your feet wet. A dear friend of mine is quite partial to these...I believe she called them Bittenbab Cakes?"

"Battenberg?" Vincent asked.

The demon brightened. "That's it! Anyhow, she does love them dearly, but they're rather hard to come across in Hell, if you can imagine. Get a few nice ones for her, would you? She'd be ever so delighted."

Instantly, Vincent felt a sharp tug in his chest and something akin to static rush over his skin. The deal...it had to be. The demon had made his official request.

"Uh...yeah, sure, no problem. Um...how do I-"

"I'll be by tomorrow around the same time to retrieve them. Leave such arrangements to me, darling." He traced a claw along the edge of his cane. "But I suggest getting some rest for the night." Fuck, when had it gotten so late? "You do seem a bit winded, my dear."

"I'm fine," Vincent insisted, trying to sit up and immediately regretting it when the world twisted before his eyes.

"I'm sure." An amused smile crossed the demon's face. At least, Vincent thought he was amused. It was kind of hard to tell when the deer man never stopped smiling. The demon closed what little distance there was between them and took Vincent's hand in his own, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

"I'll be seeing you tomorrow then, darling."

And then he was gone.

It was like he had never been there. Even the room was spotless, the evidence of the TV host's tantrum swept away. The only evidence anything had happened was the small radio sitting innocently on the coffee table and the tingling in the back of his hand where thin lips veiling razor sharp teeth had pressed against his flesh. Vincent leaned back into the couch.

The Radio Demon.

What the fuck did I just get myself into?

[willxmeyers]

WILL + LEMIE

where: coral cottage bed & breakfast, garden who: @lemielewis x @willxmeyers what: a birthday engagement 💍 when: may 10th 2024

Will: Tugging at the collar of his favorite Tom Ford suit; Will couldn’t help but look back over the past year. Something about birthdays had always made him melancholy. Last year was downright disastrous. Well, not the exact day per se. It had been exactly what he’d wanted, a silent drift into his 40s without any of the fuss. However, his secrecy about it had resulted in a break up that had set him back into his old ways. The pacemaker inside his chest wasn’t the only thing that kept him alive. But Lemie too, who had never left his side, even when she probably should have. If it weren’t for her, Will doubted he’d be celebrating another trip around the sun.

Things were different this year. This year, he was downright terrified. The first birthday he’d ever wanted to celebrate, but not for him. For her. Time felt like it was running out but all he could do is stand and wait for her to arrive, shuffling on the spot. Their reservation at Neptune wasn’t for another hour. But he’d managed to escape back to the Cottage early, stating there was from work men who needed him. When she’d called to check in to see how long he’d be, Will had asked if she could meet him here instead. An orchestrated move that he hoped would result in her walking through the back doors and into the garden. Their garden. Where he had a one very important question to ask.

--

Lemie: Finding beautiful dressed laid out on the bed she shared with Will was becoming a recurring event and Lemie couldn't even pretend not to like it. She had never been that into clothes, but there was something incredibly sexy about him knowing exactly what she enjoyed and would look good on her. He knew her in a way maybe only her brother did, which was a feat in itself. Not many people were allowed to see past her walls.

Despite being the most contradictory person on earth, she put on the dress and met up with Will in the garden, their spot. The place when the two of them had paused the bickering long enough to find a middle ground. "You know I'm not your personal Barbie doll, right?" Lemie asked him as she walked out into the garden, her narrowed eyes meeting his. She couldn't let him know she enjoyed this so easily after all. "What is it now? Another fancy restaurant? Quick getaway to Paris?"

--

Will: His smile widened as she turned the corner, seeing her appear before him like a vision. Lemie looked exactly as he hoped she would. He’d ruminated over this moment for months now. Wondering what was the best way to ask, how many people should be there, would she want it photographed or was that borderline creepy? None of those worries mattered as she took a step out into the garden. Eyes narrowed and barbed tongue, it contradicted the dress that flowed down her hips. Feminine and light. Something she’d wished she was but never thought possible without changing herself. Will never wanted her to change. Not a single thing.

The lights in the garden trees sparkled, just like his eyes did as he watched her. Whether or not her suspicions were higher than normal, he couldn’t tell. “Paris is overrated.” Will shakes his head, smile still etched on her lips, reaching up to his eyes. “I thought we could just.. talk for a second,” Will said, taking a step towards her, hand extended for her to take. “Then dinner,” he adds, in case she was worried about what their conversation would be about. “You look beautiful.”

--

Lemie: There was something intoxicating about the way Will looked at her whenever she appeared wearing one of his extravagant dresses. Anything she deemed too feminine usually looked ridiculous on her or it had until she met him. He had somehow led her to believe that just about anything suited her even though that couldn't possibly be true. Maybe it was just that somewhere along the way, only Will's opinion had started mattering. Who cared about the snickering cheerleaders from high school when he thought she was soft (when she felt like it) and caring (ditto)?

Lemie frowned in response to his comment, walking closer to him and putting her hand in his extended one. "Paris is overrated? Are you okay? Did you hit your head?" Her heartbeat picked up when he mentioned a talk. This couldn't be good. "Did you make me put on a dress to break up with me? Because that is grounds for murder and I bet the local cops would turn a blind eye under the circumstances." Alright, her fears were a little ridiculous admittedly. He didn't look like a man about to break up with his girlfriend. "I look alright. You look very dapper. I've mentioned how much I love you in a suit, right? About a million times?"

--

Will: Now wasn’t the time to get into his personal thoughts about Paris. To him, there were too many tourists and the whole city smelt a little like a urinal. But he shook his head, laughing a small chuckle as she threatened to murder him. Admittedly, it was a little reassuring to see her so nervous. It mirrored his own internal giddiness.

He had to disagree with her assessment of herself. Will had never seen a person more radiant. But he chose to not fight her on it. “You may have mentioned just a few times,” he replied with a smirk, taking her hand and giving it a warm squeeze. Will wanted to put her fears aside, reassure her that only good could come out of this situation.

Leading a little further into the garden, away from the house that he’d purposefully cleared for the day, Will stopped and looked at her. “I’ve never had a favourite place,” he begun, eyes looking down at her hand in his own. “A lot of my life was just trying to find the least shit place to be, looking for the thing that hurt the least. And I lived that way for a really long time.” Will fought with the urge to make an old man joke. “When I moved here, I slowly realised that this place.. was what people meant when they said somewhere could feel like home.” His throat bobbed a little as he looked from her hand to meet her eyes. “But it’s not this place. It’s you. You’re what feels like home.”

“You know that I’ve not always been the best person. I can be selfish and stubborn, I hate admitting when I’m wrong. And despite all these flaws, you love me anyway.” Despite her better judgement, he thought. “And I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone,” Will released her hand to reach into his pocket and get down on one knee. “You’re the only person I’ve ever wanted to spend my life with. Every minute of every day,” he looked up at her, eyes misty and full of love. “So, Lemie Lewis, will you marry me?”

--

Lemie: It was still odd to Lemie that no matter how weird she got or what she might throw at him, he still looked at her with nothing but love in his eyes. No matter how far she pushed the limit, Will wouldn't budge. It was still mind-boggling that someone could love her this fucking much and that she loved him just as much.

"Not enough if you ask me. Seriously, when you add the accent on top of it? We're reaching James Bond level of hot," she insisted, moving closer to him while running her thumb on the back of his hand. She tilted her head to the side slightly as he started talking about the garden and favorite places, her eyebrows scrunching in confusion.

Just as she was about to throw one of her cynical, sarcastic comments at him, it dawned on her that this wasn't just the start of another extravagant date. She'd seen enough movies to know that this was usually what people said right before pulling out a big ol' ring. She froze slightly, her heart skipping a beat or twenty. She understood exactly what he was talking about, the feeling of a person feeling so safe and familiar. That was what he felt like to her.

"I don't know that. I know you're the best person whose made questionable decisions. Who hasn't?" She managed to say, voice strangled right as he did exactly what she had expected him to. "Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Or so I've heard." Definitely not the thing to say in replied to a marriage proposal, but a very Lemie thing to say. "Are you sure you want to marry me? I don't think I'm the main character in this love story, I might just be the evil ex-girlfriend. No one marries the evil ex-girlfriend."

--

Will: If Will hadn’t been the midst of proposing, he’d have thrown his head back in a laugh but instead, it was more of a quick chuckle in response. Of course she couldn’t just accept that she was the love of his life. Lemie’s instinct to believe she was unlovable was something that they had in common. “I’ve already been divorced,” he reminds her with a smirk. “And it wasn’t so bad.” Not that Will wanted his marriage with Connie to be anything like what he had with the woman in front of him.

“If I wasn’t sure, Lemie, I wouldn’t be fucking up the knees of my favorite suit right now,” he motioned down to the garden floor with his head. “And you’re not evil. You’re the woman I love, the one I want to grow old with. Have a bunch of little rugrats with. I want to sit on a wraparound porch and yell at teenagers who walk across our lawn with you.”

He tried to not let his spirit falter. “If you think it’s too soon,” Will implores, “I won’t take it personally. We can make this an annual thing where I ask you to marry me until you inevitably say yes. I’ll pop a reminder in my calendar.” There was little doubt that this was what she wanted but it was more about whether or not she thought she deserved it.

--

Lemie: Lemie sometimes forgot about the whole entire life Will had before they met. Honestly, she sometimes forgets about the life she had before she met him. In a lot of ways, it felt to her like her life began the second his smug face walked into her life and not one second sooner. "Are you saying you're already planning our divorce? The ring isn't even on my finger yet, William."

The suspicion in her eyes vanished at the mentioned of children, the thought softening something inside her she didn't even know existed. Kids had always been a non-factor in her life, but now… My god, did she want them. She wanted to experience everything with him. "You want kids, huh? You don't think we'll fuck them up the way our parents did us?"

She shook her head immediately, trying very hard not to snatch the ring right out of his hands in order to make sure he didn't take it back. "No, it's not too soon. In fact, it's taken you way too long," she told him with a crooked grin, extending her hand out to him. "Yes, I'll marry you. Put it on."

--

Will: “No,” he replied instantly. “I’m trying to assure that if getting divorced is the only reason to not marry me.. it’s a risk I’m willing to take.” Will hadn’t made this decision lightly, even if it did seem like the most natural thing. They lived together, they loved each other. There wasnt a minute he wanted to be apart.

Will made a face. “We already have a child,” he countered, knowing Paprika would be disappointed in not being recognized for the baby he was. “But human children? Of course I want them. And I don’t worry about becoming our parents because there’s no way we’d let that happen.” Will would make damn sure of that. “I want everything with you.”

His smile widened, taking the square cut diamond ring out of the box as instructed and slid it up her finger. It fit perfectly, as it should considering how much sleuthing he’d done to make sure it was the right size. Nothing had felt more right in that moment, he stood from his kneeling position. “I thought you might say that,” he replied cheekily, cupping her cheeks with his hands and kissing her. A moment he’d never forget.

--

Lemie: No matter how cynical Lemie might be, she actually believed him when he said divorce wasn't in the cards for them. She was certain that neither of their parents had ever loved their partner as much as they both did. "Fine. I guess I'll have to take it with you then. It's not like you can take the leap by yourself," she said petulantly, as if she were doing him a favor. In actuality, he was doing her a solid by proposing to her.

"Sure, but we can't actually fuck up a cat… Can we?" The thought of Paprika needing therapy, a kid however… much more likely. "I'd be unbearable pregnant. I obligated to warn you. You know, in case you want out. Because once that ring is on my finger, there's no getting it back. You would have to pry it out of my cold dead hands."

Lemie held her breath as he slid the ring on, the fit perfect somehow. This man had definitely been plotting. "We're not doing a big wedding," she warned, hating the thought of all that attention on her. Being Will's wife would come naturally, but being a bride? Not so much. "And you had the nerve to look like you thought I might say no?" She asked him with a grin as he leaned in for a kiss, her hands moving from his sides to his back to pull him closer.

--

Will: He’d barely stood from his kneeling position before she was warning him, her brow furrowed. “I don’t need a big wedding,” Will assured her. “I’d drive us to Vegas right now if that’s what you wanted.” Whatever she wanted, he’d give her. That is all he’d ever wanted to do. Take care of her, love her. Despite the weight that hung heavy on her shoulders, it was what Lemie deserved.

“I’d knew you’d say yes, eventually-“ Their kiss was chaste, not necessarily wanting to get too hot and heavy. Will was sure they’d celebrate in that manner once they were home. He did trail a few kisses across her cheek, around her neck, smiling all the while.

Taking her hand again, he looked down at the ring before glancing back at Lemie. “Do you like it? Lucky helped me pick it out.” Another conspiratorial player in all of this. Will had let Paprika know that morning, however, the ginger cat didn’t seem all that interested and simply went back to licking himself. “I had my mother’s engagement ring, I thought about it but.. there’s probably some generational curse on it.” Will bristled at the thought. “If you don’t like it, we can look for something else. It just.. I thought you’d like it.”

--

Lemie: It wasn't like there were very many people that Lemie even wanted at her wedding in the first place. Lori, Lucky, Cherry… Those were her people essentially. "I don't know about reading my vows in front of an Elvis impersonator, but let's keep it uncomplicated. Our favourite people, loads of food, kitschy music and the two of us. That's all I need," she told him with a grin. Her parents wouldn't be anywhere near their special day, that was for damn sure.

"Of course. Saying no didn't even cross my mind. Not even to fuck with you," she pointed out seriously, as if this was big of her. It was, in a way, but it was also how normal people reacted to a marriage proposal.

"I love it. It's perfect. I can't wait to walk around town with this baby and flash it in everyone's face. I'm definitely posting it on Insta, my mom will combust from jealousy." This was exactly the kind of ring she had always wanted for herself. Not necessarily the cut, but the size of the diamond was definitely a goal of hers. "Yeah, no. I want this to be ours alone. We're nothing like your parents or mine." She stood up on her tip-toes, her fingers curling in his hair as she pulled him down for a quick kiss. "It's perfect, unsurprisingly. No one knows me like you do."

--

Will: Will leaned in to give her a quick kiss, almost unable to keep his lips off her. The happiness he felt, it was not to be contained. It was in his eyes, his smile. “Sounds like we’ve already made her first wedding plan.” Lemie hardly seemed like the Bridezilla type and Will had already done the big wedding with the hundreds of people only there to judge. “Just us and the people we love.”

He glanced down at ring, moving it slightly with his thumb. “Lucky helped,” Will added, smiling. Partly because he was the only man Will wanted to tell but also because he was… traditional. He wasn’t going to ask for Lemie’s hand from any of her parents, it was an outdated notion. But if there was any doubt in Lucky’s mind that this wasn’t a good idea, Will wanted to know before he got down on one knee. “If you didn’t like it, I was just going to throw him under the bus.” In a true brotherly style, Will thought jokingly.

He was unsure of the time, wanting to stay in this moment forever but.. “we have reservations for dinner. At Neptune.” Will contemplated just abandoning their plans to take her up to a vacant room upstairs. But nights like these needed to be celebrated properly. And his fiancée and the new diamond on her finger deserved to be shown off.

--

Lemie: Will had done all of this before, but Lemie liked to think it felt like the first time for him too given the circumstances of his first marriage. He might care for Connie, but not in the way he cared for her she hoped. She inhaled sharply, surprised to find she felt sort of anxious about the planning that was to come. "Maybe we can do it here. In the garden, I mean," she suggested, her fingers running through his short hair.

Her eyes were also locked on the ring, already used to seeing it there. "Of course he did. He knows me best. After you, obviously." She never thought she'd be able to say that someone knew her better than Lucky, but she had found that person in Will against all odds. "I would've let you, I'm a pro at throwing my siblings under the bus. It's usually Lori, but I could stab Lucky in the back for you."

The only thing that could rip her away from this moment was food, which again proved just how well he knew her. "Perfect. I'm dying to show this baby off and feed off everyone's jealousy."

[the-s1lly-corner]

CW: suicide mentions

Prefacing this by saying that I am not planning on harming myself nor am I the one who is planning. Rather this is a vent that happens to bring the topic up due to recent personal events. Saying this because I need to vent into the void but I know seeing the cw with no elaboration can jumpscare people. I'll very likely be deleting this once my head is clearer

I feel. Selfish. There's someone I've been friends with for nearly a decade now and I always knew that there would be gaps in our interactions time wise because that's just life. I'm fine with that. What I'm not fine with is that they're gone for months at a time with no word. It will soon be four months since they've last talked to me. This is not the first time it's been this long and I'm sure it's been longer before. When they do come back they just. Give a quick apology. So I should be grateful about that at least right? It still hurts like hell, and it still makes me feel like shit. I know I'm not entitled to being their priority but at this point the friendship is beginning to feel more and more one sided. I'm so tired of worrying for weeks and weeks just for them to pop in for 5 minutes, kill that worry, and then dip. The cycle always repeats.

I had another friend that took their own life in February. I didn't get confirmation on it until the beginning of November. I spent the months in between hoping and believing that they were okay and that they just followed through with deleting everything and taking an extended break from social media. I didn't find out until their cousin reached out.

Obviously it's not their fault, I'm not angry at them for that.

But I think that's playing a part in how I'm feeling about that first friend, at least after I got the news. It's the big breaks in between that are getting worse because what if it happens again and I wouldn't know until one of their family members tells me-- I know some of their family members on Facebook too. What if one day I find out through one of them talking about it?

I know my best bet is communicating. Saying what is essentially "hey can you please send me something- can be literally anything, one message or a video what whatever- just so I know you're still alive?" Sounds so easy but it's the wording. I feel manipulative saying or asking for it.

I'm tired of feeling like an after thought, and I'm tired of worrying if my friend- who has also had mental health struggles in the past- is still on this earth

[pavardscherie]

Hi can I request something angsty with Benji where he used to date a player from Bayern’s women’s team but they broke up after she transferred teams and he sees her for the first time at a fancy event but she’s already moved on with someone else

if we ever meet again, benjamin pavard

summary benji & you used to date before you transferred to the women's team of borussia dortmund for a better chance to play. at the glorious bayern munich event, the two of you meet again. pairing benjamin pavard & female reader

izzy's talk. here we go again & again. i've literally watched benji videos the entire weekend, and i don't know, he's not leaving me. haha. pushing through requests now as long as we haven't moved apartments yet. the very detailed requests take much longer, cause i'm really trying to keep in the requested stuff, so they're still going to be written, no worries.

he did not remember how many weeks, certainly months, have passed since the last heartwarming conversation. excluding the heated arguments shortly before and while breaking up, the image of your bright smile radiating comfort off in waves stayed deeply burned in the back of his head. it was impossible to push it away since the night, you left the apartment with tears staining your cheeks.

it was his fault. he knew that. he blamed himself for each little drop that blemished your face with sadness and hurt. but staring at you, swaying and laughing from across the room didn't bandage the broken pieces of his heart. it was done, finished since you moved cities and had another man by your side.

by the way, your eyes twinkled in the bright, yellow light from the lamps above, and you pressed your fingertips to your chest while giggling about his words, benjamin knew, you moved on and he was certainly screwed for still believing.

haunted by the demons of his past, the regret from decisions he made, and they all had your face. a couple of teammates, who became like extended family, already informed benjamin about how much he has changed since the breakup. quieter, less laughter, and aggressive in too many innocent situations on the pitch.

badly cut fingernails scratched over his forehead, letting the long fingers brush through the curls afterward. being his old self again after the breakup wasn't possible. anything connected with you.

it was beautiful, certainly a rare relationship. and yet, ruined. and he had to act like it did not bother him anymore when your beautiful eyes found his figure on the other side of the room. glued to the ground, shifting slightly from the left to the right foot while forcing himself to smile at least mildly.

you moved on over the past weeks, it took you long to forget about benjamin pavard. the night it ended, broke more than just your heart, and it was difficult to puzzle the pieces back together until a new man appeared in your life. showing you a glimpse of happiness again. nothing compared to the relationship with benjamin, but yet enough to feel alive again.

brushing a thick strand carefully out of your face, you excused yourself from the man by your side and crossed the room toward the football player. you did not hate him, nor despise him for his decision. after all, benjamin wasn't made for long-distance relationships. seeing each other would have been almost impossible with the busy schedules of both. stuffed with games, events, meetings, and somewhere between time to sleep.

watching you intensely while walking through the crowds of people, associated with bayern munich, his eyes stayed glued to the movements of your body. along the way, the other guests disappeared and the loud conversations vanished into thin air. for merely a couple of seconds, it was just you and him. again.

"benjamin pavard," you cheered, stretching out the arms to offer him a warm hug and pulling him out o the trance-like state. a reminder that he wasn't alone with you anymore. "i did not expect to see you. you've always hated those events and the tight suits." shaking his head with a chuckle about how good you knew him, especially remembering the little details about him, he reached forward and pulled you tightly against his chest.

and if you moved on, with another man, who was waiting across the room for you, then why did benjamin's loamy scent smell like coming home again.

"will you believe me if i tell you that lucas and choupo dragged me to the venue, and then left me alone?" benjamin's question was genuine, because it was actually what happened, hours prior the start of the event. begging and long explanations about how he had to leave the house once in a while for other things in life than training sessions and games. impossible to decline them.

but the warmth of your embrace made him feel like he belonged in your arms. it immediately found a way into his veins, igniting a small spark of hope. the one, he had carried with him since the breakup. but when you slowly let go, taking a step back to increase the personal bubble, it felt like the day you left.

"i believe that. they are really convincing." you giggled, remembering how lucas talked you into telling benjamin how you felt about him. hernandez noticed the small glances of jealousy when another girl caught the french player's attention, or the envy twinkling in the corners of your eyes, when women touched him. without lucas, the relationship would have never been a thing.

"my parents are still asking about you." benjamin confessed, changing the topic to the break up once again. somehow, when he wanted to talk about something else, his mind always reminded him about the day, you left.

a warm summer day. you just received the news about the great transfer and wanted to share them with benji. but instead of being happy for you, or with you, he questioned the entire relationship, based on one change. no matter how bright the sun shone outside, or the chirping of the birds, which turned into a comforting melody, inside of the apartment, tears rolled and screams were exchanged.

"you haven't told them about.." you trailed off, not daring to say the word us after it has been destroyed. pointing a slender finger between your body and his towering figure, was all you could do to reference to the loss of words.

shaking his head, the quiet chuckle and following smile surprised you. but it wasn't happiness. sarcasm tugged on the corners of his mouth, the disbelief about the past decision. "no, i couldn't disappoint them after already breaking two hearts."

"oh benji.." you muttered, feeling the tears on your waterline. meeting him again after being together for almost two years, and sharing such an intimate bond, made it difficult to act like it did not bother you. the way he fought with the tears himself, attempting to hide the sadness and regret.

benjamin's heart broke for a second time, slowly and painfully as he realised once again, what he lost the night. instead of accepting the distance and trying to figure out how to handle it, he decided against your love, and being with you.

and he regretted nothing more than that one night.