#i'm spending the next few months buckling down on....

[navybrat817]

Okay, lovelies. Remember when I said the good vibes you were sending me may have tipped the scales in my favor? Well, buckle in because I'm about to get personal. 😂❤️

Like many people out there, I have student loan debt. My hubby has student loan debt. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars a month. Not only do we have student loan debt with terrible interest rates, we also had medical bills and credit card debt to take care of unexpected emergencies over the last few years. It's stressful. Many of you understand.

My family has never had much and hasn't been able to help, which I don't expect them to. I work hard to do what I can. I still had 10 years to pay on my loans when I checked a month ago. 10 years. There has been no end in sight.

Until now.

After a lot of hard work and working with a financial advisor, we paid off our two major credit cards today. I am paying the remainder of my student loans in full tomorrow. And within the next year, the remainder of my husband's student loans will be paid in full. Not only that, we will have a true emergency savings account opened by the end of the year.

Lovelies, I sobbed. Full on sobbed. Ugly cried until my chest and head hurt. The stress of this debt has weighed on me and kept me up at night. I worried for my kids. I worried for myself. And now I can actually put some of this money toward both their future and mine. It's an amazing feeling.

Now, we're not out of the woods. 😂 My hubby still has that last student loan, along with a car payment and our mortgage. But, fuck, the weight is so much lighter and I feel like I can finally breathe. We needed this win.

Appreciate the good vibes, lovelies. I'm sending them back your way. I hope any weight you have weighing down on you is lifted. I hope you can breathe a bit easier.

Love you all. ❤️

PS - The advisor also said no big spending, but my teammate said I should buy myself something nice and that candles don't count. ☠️ Can I buy a fictional husband? 🤣

[joon4eva]

drunk in love — kim namjoon.

genre: best friends to lovers. mutual pining.

summary: you and whiskey are never a good combination. or: you've been in love with your best friend for years and you might tell him about it while drunk.

word count. ~2,597

warnings. OC is a stubborn drunk, heavy kissing.

note. swiped two pics from u @doucillies; ur moodboards are adorable (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

masterlist

"Okay, it's time to go home."

"Nooooo," you whine, crossing your arms over your chest. "I'm havin'—hic!—the most fun right now!"

“We’re not doing this while you’re drunk, ____. Let's go.”

“I’m not”—you hiccup, hand flying up to your mouth, so ready to barf—“drunk.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes and grabs your arm, guiding you towards the exit of the crowded bar.

The room seems to tilt and wobble around you, like the inside of a snow globe shaken by a child. The alcohol in your system clouds your thoughts, transforming words into unintelligible murmurs and making the edges of your vision fuzzy.

You're not one to go out often, but tonight had been a night unlike any other. Drinks had flowed like water, and one had quickly turned into, well… too many to count.

"I c'n walk on my own!" you protest, somewhat indignantly. But as soon as the words leave your mouth, your knees buckle beneath you, and Namjoon is there to catch you before you can collapse onto the floor.

He sighs, shaking his head in amused exasperation.

"Sure, you can," he mutters sarcastically while looping an arm around your waist.

You lean against him heavily, suddenly grateful for his support as the world continues to swirl around you in a dizzying blur of colors. Your own head is swimming with the protests it's trying to form, yet all you can do is let out an indignant 'pfft'.

The cool night air greets you as Namjoon leads you out of the bar. Your senses are assaulted by everything—the sound of car horns honking in the distance, the bright street lights reflecting off shiny shop windows, the smell of old cigarettes and half-eaten takeout littered on the streets.

Namjoon hails a cab quickly enough; it seems as though all yellow cabs magically congregate whenever he raises his hand.

You slump into the backseat next to him and he rattles off an address to the driver before turning to face you.

"Do I have to worry about you hurling in my apartment?"

You shake your head vehemently despite how it makes everything feel like it's moving at warp speed around you. "I wo'nn… promise."

"You better not," he says, but there's no real bite to his words, just a soft smile that makes your head spin more than the alcohol ever could.

The rest of the car ride is a blur, punctuated by stifled giggles and quiet singing along to random tunes floating through the airwaves.

The car finally comes to a stop outside Namjoon's apartment building, and he practically carries you inside, supporting your weight as you half-walk, half-stumble towards the elevator.

His apartment greets you with its familiar warmth and comforting scent.

You shed your shoes immediately upon entering; he always hated when people wore shoes inside.

Namjoon takes you by the hand and leads you to his bedroom. There's no discussion about where you'd sleep–it was never really up for debate. You had spent more nights in his bed than your own over these past few months, sharing the space like it was a natural extension of your friendship.

But deep in your heart you felt the lines of this friendship slowly blur until they were nearly indistinguishable.

You vaguely recall Namjoon going out on dates with other women – discreetly canceling on you for an evening or casually mentioning it over coffee when he couldn't spend time with you.

Each mention was like a dagger in your heart; the mere thought of him being with someone who wasn't you caused a painful twisting sensation in your chest.

Namjoon helps you sit down on the edge of his bed, pulling off your socks before turning around to rummage through a drawer for some pajamas or anything that would fit you comfortably.

He pulls out an oversized shirt and hands it to you, ushering you towards his bathroom. He stands outside the door while you splash cold water on your face, trying to sober up just enough to not become a nuisance.

In the quiet of his apartment, even the steady rhythm of your heart pounding in your ears feels deafening.

Once you're dressed in the soft fabric that smells distinctly of him, Namjoon helps you sit on his bed again while he looks for more blankets.

In these rare moments of silence, your thoughts begin to spiral towards a dangerous territory. A confession, long buried under fears and doubts, bubbles to the surface.

"Namjoonie…" you slur giddily, your words blurred and hazy even as their weight is clear.

"Hm?"

"I love you," you mumble sincerely between hiccups.

He chuckles lightly and shakes his head. "Oh man, you're definitely drunk. I love you too."

"'m serious," you insist, each word heavier than the last. "Like, really... really love you.

He pauses in his search for a blanket momentarily, looking back at you with furrowed eyebrows but still not taking it entirely seriously.

"And I really love you too," he murmurs back softly, turning away from you again.

Finally managing to locate an extra blanket somewhere, Namjoon walks back over, gently draping it across your legs and sitting on the edge of his bed.

For a moment, the drunken haze seems to clear from your mind- just enough for him to see your vulnerability shining through.

"You don't get it," your voice wavers as you flop over onto Namjoon's pillow, breathing in his comforting smell. "'m sooo in love with you. Can't ssannd it. Tried t' ignore it, but ev'ry day, ev'ry night—it's always you.."

His lips part and his eyes go a little wide. He blinks at you, fighting back a smile though the hint of one lingers around your words.

“You’re drunk,” he eventually says, shaking his head.

“Maybe," you hum thoughtfully, "…but I won’t be in th' morning.”

Namjoon's gaze flickers to the side, his eyes boring into a spot on the wall as though he can shield himself from any potential heartbreak.

He lets out a quiet sigh and he runs a hand through his hair, clearing his throat before speaking.

"We can... we can talk about this tomorrow," he suggests softly. "When you've had some sleep and are sober enough to remember it."

"If you still feel this way then, we'll talk, okay?"

You frown at him stubbornly as he starts to settle you into bed. The soft duvet feels heavenly beneath your weary form, but the innate rebellion within you only swells stronger. “I don' need help,” you argue halfheartedly, poorly attempting to push away his supportive grip.

Namjoon just smiles gently, continuing to tuck you in despite your protests. "Of course you don't."

His familiar shape slips under the duvet beside you, close enough for comfort but still mindful of boundaries as you both drift off to sleep.

—

When dawn breaks, the first rays of sunlight creep through the cracks of the curtains, casting a warm golden glow across your faces.

It's only when Namjoon's bedroom starts to steadily regain its color that you wake up, face planted into one of the softest pillows you've ever had the pleasure of sleeping in.

Groggily, the memories from last night begin to trickle into your still foggy mind.

You're half-convinced it was all just a dream—an alcohol-induced haze of emotions and repressed feelings. But as you move to stretch out, stifling a yawn, you come face to face with Namjoon asleep beside you.

His face is relaxed, lips slightly parted as he sleeps. One arm is thrown casually over your torso, the other tucked under his pillow. The warmth of his breath tickles your cheek, and it's both terrifying and exhilarating.

You stare at him for a moment - taking in the curve of his jaw, the slope of his nose, and the dark fringe of eyelashes against his cheeks. It feels like discovering Namjoon all over again - this time much different but just as wonderful to behold.

Namjoon stirs, his arms reflexively tightening around you while he fights the urge to wake.

You catch a stray lock of unruly hair that has fallen across his face with trembling fingers.

His eyebrows crease slightly, and he sleepily opens his eyes to meet yours.

For a few moments, the two of you just gaze at each other, silent as his grogginess fades into a dawning realization. "Hey," he mumbles softly.

Your chest constricts as a half-smile finds its way on your face. "Hey," you respond softly back.

"You stayed."

"Of course."

His arms tighten around you once more as he pulls you flush against him, nestled securely between the heat of his body and the cool cotton sheets.

"I thought you would run away," he murmurs softly into your hair, chuckling when he feels you shake your head.

Honestly, you could easily drift back to sleep like this, feeling the gentle rhythm of his breathing and the soothing patterns his hand traces on your back. But just as your eyes are about to close, his voice rumbles from his chest.

"How are you feeling?" he suddenly asks.

"I've been better," you reply honestly, muffled against his shirt.

There's a beat of silence.

"Do you remember anything from last night?" he asks.

"Not much. I remember you taking me home but everything else is blurry."

"I didn't do anything dumb, did I?" you ask.

"Well, that depends on your definition of dumb."

"Hmm. Anything I would be embarrassed about?"

"Other than the fact that you're a very stubborn drunk, no," he reassures you with a quiet laugh. "...But you did say some things."

"Oh, like what?" you ask, pulling back far enough from him so you could see his face.

There's a slight pause, his gaze momentarily flicking from your eyes to your lips.

"You said you loved me."

You nod, taking a moment to figure out how you were going to respond.

Though those words still linger as truth in your head, hearing them out loud like that is difficult to put into words. You could easily dismiss them as drunken ramblings but Namjoon knows better; he can always read you like a book.

There's only so much denial you can carry on with before eventually being swallowed alive by the chaos of your emotions.

You sigh and retreat back into his arms, nuzzling your face further into his chest. Namjoon doesn't press or push any further. Instead, he holds you tighter. Neither of you says anything for a while.

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing, really," you say, swallowing back the lump that has formed in your throat.

"Mm, don't do that."

"Do what?"

He draws away from you, but keeps his hold firm, almost as if you'll slip away if he lets go.

"Lie," he says softly, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. "I know you better than that."

He smirks, amused at your stunned silence. He knows just as well as you do that he's successfully called your bluff.

"You already know the answer," you finally say.

He laughs at this, his eyes adorably crinkling at the corners and those dimples you absolutely love coming out to make an appearance.

You can feel your heart pounding with him so close; though the two of you always have been close friends, this new proximity makes your cheeks flush and your thighs press together reflexively.

Through this haze, a sudden surge of self-awareness hits you, reminding you that your hangover has most likely wreaked havoc on your appearance. You nervously lick your lips and rack your brain to quickly come up with an excuse to get out of this situation, and get out of it fast. 

Namjoon seems to pick up on your unease, reaching out and taking your hand gently. He guides it towards his chest, placing it right above his heart, urging you to meet his gaze again. His warmth eases some of your anxiety, and you finally meet his gaze again.

You can feel the steady beat of his heart under your fingertips, its rhythm slightly quicker than normal. He looks intently at your lips, and the corners of his mouth turn up into a faint, tender smile.

“I just want to hear you say it. Please,” he whispers.

Fully surrendered to him, to whatever this was, you find your voice.

"I love you," you manage to utter through the tightness in your throat.

Satisfied with your answer, he smiles and leans in to press a soft kiss to your forehead.

Now only inches away, his breath is warm on your face and his lips nearly graze yours when he asks, "Do I have permission?"

You give a slight nod, and that's all it takes for Namjoon to cup your chin with one hand and slightly tilt your head back to press his lips firmly against yours.

His lips are warm, surprisingly soft against your own, and as the kiss deepens, every lingering doubt is wiped away with each sweep of his tongue; it's delicate and excruciatingly slow. 

You let out a soft sigh against his lips as your fingers slide up to tangle themselves into his hair, gripping it to bring him impossibly closer. You lose yourself completely in it, every inch of your body humming to life as desire courses through your veins.

You can't help but release a gasp against his lips, which he swallows and echoes with a soft groan that reverberates through your chest. Your hands find their way down to his strong arms, fingertips pressing into the taut muscles there before coming to rest at his shoulders.

You shift against him as the kiss intensifies; legs tangling together beneath the cool cotton sheets. The air around you fills with soft moans and exhalations.

Between lingering and hardening pecks on your swollen lips, you feel him whisper against your skin—"My everything...", "...Wanted to do this for so long..."—and each phrase causes an answering shudder to course through every fiber of your being.

The faint traces of stubble on his jaw graze against your face in a way that feels rough yet exciting – a sensation you hadn't experienced before. By now, it seems as if every nerve in your body is on high alert, attuned to every caress and tender touch that passes between you.

His touch remains gentle as his hands slide beneath your his soft cotton shirt, tracing patterns along the small of your back.

Your torso is now pressed up against his so tightly that it would be nearly impossible for a piece of paper to fit between you two. He responds with a low hum of appreciation and he reluctantly ends the kiss but doesn't break away entirely; his forehead rests against yours as both of you try to catch your breaths.

It doesn't take long for your lips to start exploring new territories; they traverse each other's jaws, press tender kisses along each other’s necks, and gently nibble on earlobes – all provoking delightful sighs and moans that fill the room.

Namjoon then gently rolls you flat onto your back, never breaking contact as he hovers above you.

A warmth radiates through the air as he pulls back just enough for his breath to softly brush your lips. "I love you too," he confesses, his eyes searching yours for any trace of doubt.

The whispered words could have been drowned out by the sound of your pounding heart, but they cut through the air like a dagger.

"And I always will."

[casparscunttt16]

"You're jealous" |Stiles Stilinski|Oneshot

Jealous!Stiles x Reader.

Summary: In which your friend Javier is tutoring you for an upcoming quiz in your Spanish class leading you to be spending more time with him rather than your boyfriend Stiles.

Warnings: Jealous Stiles, slight arguing.

(Gif not mine)

I walk through the busy hallways of Beacon Hills High, rushing to my locker hoping I can be quick enough to not get caught in a group of students. I make it to my locker and put away my books and binders, then heading down the hallway towards the cafeteria. "Hey wait up!" I hear a familiar voice and I turn to see my friend Javier. "Oh hi Javi" I smile at the messy haired boy, and pull him into a hug.

"Hey do you wanna start studying now? We can definitely do so in the cafeteria if you're okay with that" he chirped with a toothy grin. "Of course whatever works for you works for me" I respond as we walk down the hallway side by side. "Thanks for tutoring me by the way I really appreciate" I add on. "The least I can do for you helping me snag a date with Danny" he chuckles. "Sooo how's that going?" I drag out.

Javier tells me how it's going with him and Danny and I smile listening to the details of how the date went, how things are between them, if they'll be anymore dates in the future etc. We walk into the cafeteria and sit at a table, Javier places his bag on the table and takes out his laptop, flash cards, highlighters and other things for studying. About 10 minutes into the study session my boyfriend walks over to the two of us.

"Hey baby" he coos hugging me from behind and resting his head on mine. "Hi babe" I say turning around and kissing his lips. "Did you wanna go out to lunch with me and Scott?" he asks casually because on most days thats what we did. "No I can't I'm studying with Javier, maybe after school we can hangout?" I suggest raising an eyebrow. "No yeah that's fine" He smiles and kisses my forehead then walking off to Scott.

"Well isn't he cute" Javier compliments "How long have you two been a thing?" he asks as he picks up the flash cards. "He's very cute, but almost two years. A year and nine months next month" Javier smiles at my answer then parts his lips to speak. "Okay let's get started on fill in the blank, I think that'd be easiest".

Throughout the remainder of the week I was hanging out with Javier in and out of school to prepare for this Spanish quiz, it'll be about 70 percent of our grade because it's about everything we've learned this quarter so this was not something I wanted to take lightly y'know? Today was Thursday and the quiz was on Friday. It was the end of the school day and Javier walked me out to the parking lot. "You're going to do great, girl don't even stress" Javier reassures me then pulling me into a tight hug. "Thanks Javi, but you're literally crushing me" I squirm as he laughs. "Sorry" He smiles before we part ways.

I see Stiles in the distance standing by his jeep as he always did to take me home. I walk over to him eagerly. "Hi Stiles" I kiss his cheek and he looks down at me and rolls his eyes. "What? Did I do something" I ask confused. "Why don't you go kiss Javier since you seem to love his company" he says jealousy dripping off his tongue as he pouts slightly. "Stiles you do know he's been tutoring me right?" I scoff in a bit of irritation as I get in the passenger seat and buckles myself in. "Yeah but it's so painfully obvious he's into you and you're oblivious to it" he says through gritted teeth, tightening his grip on the steering wheel as we pull out of the parking lot and begin driving on the main road. "Stiles he is not into me." I respond in a flat tone, the car fills with silence between us for a few minutes, the radio in the background quietly. "You're jealous" I state in a firm yet questioning tone.

Part 2?

[obiwansito]

spineless in my tomb of silence

the great war - chapter one

playlist 𐐒𐐚 taglist ʚĭɞ fic masterlist

pairing- obi wan kenobi x f!reader

word count- 5,02k

summary- after a few days of feeling bad, you discover something that will change your life forever. how will you explain it to obi-wan, if he is thousands of light years away?

tags for this chapter- angst, fluff, unplanned pregnancy, discussions about pregnancy, anxiety, minor discusions, intrusive thoughts.

a/n- welcome to the first chapter of tgw. buckle up, this will be a wild journey. this fic has been on my mind since march, and i have planned great things for it. enjoy <3

“Kriff.” You whispered, getting up from the refresher mat, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. It was your second time vomiting so far this morning, and you had been like this for almost five days.

You had recently arrived from a long mission, and now you were on your break, stranded in the Jedi Temple teaching younglings.

Actually, you were grateful. You had spent nearly five months traveling across the Outer Rim to fight on the front lines, so finally getting back to your routine at home was a relief.

Of course, it had its cons. You had gotten used to seeing your partner, Obi-Wan, every day, as the council assigned you together on most missions because of your great teamwork. But unfortunately, he couldn't get a break, and was still in the Outer Rim with Anakin indefinitely.

Though deep down you were glad he wasn't here at the moment, as he constantly worried about you and you knew he would be worried if he knew you had caught an illness.

Or well, you wanted to think you were sick. But the timing of your period told you otherwise, and that had you quite worried. At first you thought you had eaten something bad, but you realized that your period was almost a month late. Maybe it was the stress of the war, or maybe....

You shook your head. No, it wasn't possible. That absolutely could not happen. It mustn't.

You decided to seek help from your closest friend outside the temple, the one you trusted the most and knew could help you with your little problem. Plus, as a bonus, she was the only one who knew about your relationship with Obi-wan.

The lift opened its doors, revealing a young woman sitting on the couch in her home. Her brown curls fell to the sides of her face, and a purple robe wrapped around her growing belly. It was Padme Amidala, senator of Naboo and your best friend.

Her face lit up when she saw you arrive, smiling at you and rising to give you a hug. “My dear! How have you been?”

“Padmé! Sorry for coming unannounced. To tell you the truth...I've been better. And you? How are you? And the baby?”

Your gaze lowered to your friend's baby bump.

When you arrived on Coruscant two weeks ago, you got the surprise of your life when you learned that your best friend was pregnant.

“ You're... what?!” Padmé laughed shyly, her hands caressing her swollen belly.

“It was a surprise to me, too. When I found out, I was alone and so scared. But now I'm more excited.”

“And Ani knows?”

Padmé exhaled, shaking her head. “No... How do you tell your secret Jedi husband that you're pregnant with his child by holo-call?”

You sighed. It was true, Anakin had also spent so much time away -even now- and hadn't seen his wife for nearly five months. Now you felt grateful that you had been able to spend so much time with Obi-wan. “If I've known Ani at all in the last thirteen years, I can assure you he'll go crazy. He loves you dearly, and I know he'll be very excited.”

Padmé looked at you with concern at what you said. “We're fine... But I'm beginning to wonder how much longer Ani will be out. I've had to live most of this pregnancy alone...” She complained, then looked at you, a little flushed. “Sorry, I'm just venting. Come, sit down. Would you like something to drink? I can tell Threepio to prepare something.”

You shook your head, sitting down next to her on the couch. “Oh no, dear, don't worry. I... well, I came to tell you something. Or rather, to ask you.”

“Sure, tell me.”

You gulped. Your heart was going a thousand miles a minute, this was about to become real. “How... how did you find out you're pregnant?”

She raised an eyebrow, hadn't expected that question. “Well... At first I was very queasy and throwing up, I also felt quite tired and my appetite had increased. I thought I was sick so I called a medical droid, and when he asked me the last date of my period I realized. Then he diagnosed me and well...here we are. why the question?”

You sighed, looking away. Apparently, your silence spoke for you, as Padmé gasped, bringing her hands to her mouth in surprise. “...You're joking, right?”

You shook your head, a knot in your throat. “I wish I was. But... I really don't know if I am... you know, or not.”

“What makes you think you are?

“For starters, I've been feeling exhausted these past few weeks. And a few days ago I started with nausea and throwing up. I thought I'd caught an illness or something, but today I checked my period calendar, and...”

“Kriff.”

“Yeah, kriff.’ You ran a hand through your hair, stressed. Now that you'd said it out loud, it was more real.

“All right, don't worry, I'm here to help you.” She rested her hand on your knee, with a reassuring look. “Here's what we'll do. I'll call a medical droid and he'll check you out. Don't worry, he's the one who attends to me, so none of this will leave from here.”

You nodded, your heart feeling warm from your friend's affection. “And whatever the result, you've got me. We're in this together, okay?”

You leaned in to hug her, whispering thanks. You felt tears threatening to come, you were so glad to have such an amazing friend like Padmé. Jedi were supposed to control their emotions, but right now you were failing a little bit at that. Maybe it was hormones... No. You had to think positive, it was probably something else, you weren't unlucky enough to get pregnant in the middle of a devastating war.

Half an hour later, you were lying on Padmé's bed, a medical droid examining you. “How long is your period overdue now?”

“Almost a month.” You mumbled. Padmé was sitting next to you, one hand on her belly and the other holding yours gently.

“Very well, I have your diagnosis.” Announced the droid after analyzing the results. “Miss... Naberrie?” you nodded. You had given Padmé's real last name so there would be no data of yours reaching the temple. “You are pregnant, approximately six weeks. Congratulations.”

Your heart dropped. You felt Padmé get up and escort the droid out, but your mind was elsewhere. This can't be happening. Your breathing was racing, your gaze fixed on one point in the room as your thoughts collapsed. What am I going to do? This is bad.

You were pale, an uncomfortable warmth running down your neck. Your eyes, wide open, couldn't focus on anything clearly. The air seemed to become thick, and it took you a second to breathe normally.

Padmé came back into the room and sat down across from you, but you didn't look at her. I'm going to be expelled from the Order... Obi-wan is going to leave me. I was so stupid. This can't be happening...

“Hey, hey. Look at me. It's going to be alright, okay?”

You didn't listen to her, you felt a storm in your head, messing up everything you had structured so perfectly. This isn't real. This can't be...

“Hey. Look at me, beautiful.” His hands were now on your cheeks, but you weren't reacting. You hadn't realized it, but you were crying.

Padmé called your name, and you finally snapped out of your thoughts. You looked at her, her eyes were wide and she was looking at you with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yes... yes. I'm fine.” You wiped your tears away with the back of your hand, taking a deep breath. You were a Jedi, you couldn't let yourself get carried away with emotions like that. You had been raised not to.

“Alright...Listen to me.” She took your hands in hers. “It's going to be okay. You're going to tell Obi-wan?”

“Well...yes. But, I guess we're in the same boat now.” You let out a chuckle, even though you weren't having fun. “How the kriff do I tell my Jedi boyfriend that I'm pregnant when he's thousands of light years away?”

“Tell me.” Padmé sighed. “How do you think he'll react?”

“I don't know. I mean, it's not like we never brought it up.” Your mind wandered to a conversation they'd had months ago, in their quarters at the Negotiator. “We talked about our lives if we weren't... you know, Jedi Generals in a war that seems to have no end.”

“And what did you say?”

“We'd get married.” You smiled sadly. “We'd go to Naboo -sorry to steal your idea- and we'd have a cabin in Lake Country. Just us and nature.”

“That's beautiful. And the kids?”

“One or two.” You sighed, wiping away tears. “It was...a particularly difficult day, and we'd still be fighting the next day. We thought maybe, you know, it would be the end of us.” You shrugged. “So that's why we set about planning our life in an alternate universe.”

“Hey.” You looked at her. “It's still possible, you know, I've been planning... Maybe I shouldn't say this, but... Some senators and I want to end the war diplomatically. No more invasions, no more sieges. No more death. So our happy ending is still possible. Obi-wan and you, Ani and me. We can be free. Our children could be friends.” You both laughed. “It will be all right, you'll see.”

You nodded. Maybe you were indeed being pessimistic. It wasn't all over.

“There's something else.”

“Yes?”

“That day, Obi-wan told me something. He said that... If I wanted him to leave the Order, I just had to say the word. And he would do it.”

“That's good, isn't it? You can do that. I'll help you in any way I can.”

“No, no. It's just... I know he said it, and I know he means it. But he knows I would never ask him to do that.” You swallowed hard. “The Order is his life, Padmé. I've never seen a Jedi as dedicated as he is. I know, I know we break a thousand rules every day to be together, but besides that, he just... It's what he's made for. And I don't want to be the one to take that away from him.”

“Listen to me. Obi-wan loves you too much, my dear. I know you guys think you're better at hiding your relationship than we are, but it's the little details that make me realize how much he loves you. The way he looks at you, how he talks about you... Kriff, he doesn't know that I know, but when we're talking and he mentions you... I can tell he's deeply in love.”

You smiled, your heart felt warm. “You are more important than anything, more important than the Order, than everything. And he knows that. So you don't have to worry about that, okay?” she stroked your cheek. “It's going to be all right, dear.”

You sniffled, trying to hold back your tears. “Thank you, Padmé. Really. You're wonderful. You know how to comfort me so well, even though you're in the same situation.”

“You don't have to thank me, darling. You know I'm here for you. And I know you're here for me. We'll work it out. We don't need men if we have each other.”

You laughed, nodding and leaned in to hug her. She was right. No matter what happened, at least you'd always have your best friend by your side.

You stayed for another hour in Padmé's apartment, chatting and making plans for when her baby was born. She only had one more month to go, so she told you how she wanted to paint the baby's room at the Naberrie residence on Naboo.

It was past noon when you arrived at the temple. You had one more hour before your class with the younglings, so you would take advantage of it to go to the dining hall. Usually you would prepare something in your quarters, but you were tired. Hopefully, they would serve something good... Or at least something that tasted okay.

As you walked through the halls, you came across a couple of kids running around. Among them, was Kyla, a togruta from your class.

“Slow down, little ones. You might get hurt.”

“Sorry, master!”

The little girl came up to you. She was ten years old and one of the best in the class. “Master, you will teach us today, won't you?”

“That's right, dear.” You crouched down to be on her level. “Lightsaber training. Are you ready?”

“Yes!”

You laughed at her enthusiasm. “Good. I'll see you in class, okay?”

She nodded, and you patted her back, standing up as you watched her go.

You had met Kyla when she was still a little kid, about five years ago. At that time, the temple was a better place. Now everything felt dark, empty. The aftermath of such a terrible war.

"Fond of the little one, you have grown, hmm?" you jumped as you heard those words behind you. You turned around, finding the grand master of the Jedi.

“Master Yoda, you frightened me.”

“Distracted you are. Otherwise, with the force you would have detected me.”

“I'm sorry, Master. I was just watching the younglings... It grieves me to know that they are growing up in the midst of a war.”

“Worry, you must not. Our best effort, we give, so future generations suffer, they will not."

“You are right.”

“To the dining room, you were going?” He pointed down the hall.

“That's right, I'm going to get something to eat before my next class.”

"Leave you, I will, then. Good luck, Master."

You nodded, and gave a little bow to leave. But his voice calling your name stopped you again. "A Padawan, good for you, it would be."

Your eyes widened. “What do you mean, master?”

“If you wanted, Kyla your padawan could be. Small she is still, but in a couple of years she'll be ready.”

You smiled. Your own apprentice. “I would love that, master.”

"Settled, it is, then."

He walked away, leaving you alone. You thought for a moment about what having a Padawan involved. Of course, you would love it, and a Jedi had to have one sometime, yes or yes. You had been lucky enough to be promoted to Master for your front-line achievements, but that didn't mean you shouldn't have one anymore. And you adored Kyla, she was a very smart and strong kid. You would make a great team.

Your chest hurt. Although you were trying to avoid thinking about it, it was inevitable. You were pregnant. There was no way out of it, no easy solution. You couldn't stay in the Order once the Council found out.

But that was hurting you, because you wanted to train her. She had so much potential and you could help her reach her maximum.

You were going to have to abandon her and all your children, whom you adored as if they were your own.

You shook your head, dispelling those thoughts. You had to focus on the present, then you would figure out the rest.

As it turned out, you might have been better off preparing something yourself in your quarters. The food at the Temple was, as always, terrible.

You were about to finish your... whatever it was they had served you, when you were approached by a pink twi'lek. It was Sammi, one of your oldest temple friends. You had met when you were barely younglings, and though you had drifted apart when you became padawans, the friendship was still there.

She called your name, coming to sit next to you. “How have you been? I haven't seen you in a while.”

“I got back a couple of weeks ago, I was sent to be a part of the sieges in the Outer Rim.”

The twi'lek raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Wow. What's it like to be on the front lines?”

Sammi was a Jedi healer, and worked in the temple's medical center, assisting Head Medical Officer Vokara Che. Therefore, she hadn't been sent to fight in the war like you.

“It's... difficult. I know we've been at war for almost four years, but I'm still not used to it.”

“I understand. You're going to stay on Coruscant for a while?”

You sighed. “I hope so, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Council decides to send me back soon.” You glanced at the clock on the wall, you were already running late. “Kriff.”

You stood up, grabbing your tray. “I'd love to stay longer talking, but I have classes. We can meet some other time, catch up.”

She smiled at you, nodding. “Yes, please. We can hang out at 79s, I might run into that lieutenant from your battalion...what was his name, Bones?”

You laughed. Sammi had never been the type to follow the rules, but you couldn't judge her as you weren't innocent either. “Yes, Sams, it's Bones. I'll tell Forge to go with the boys. I heard around that he thought you were cute...”

You liked chatting with Sammi. You felt like a teenage Padawan again, not a Master Jedi General with a hidden pregnancy.

The temple was quiet when you left your last class. It was getting dark, the wind filtered through the wide windows and made you shiver. You had spent a good time with the younglings, those children were hungry for learning and you were more than happy to teach them everything you knew.

You were on your way to your room when you noticed someone approaching you. As you turned around, you found Plo Koon, your master. He called your name warmly.

“Master.”

“My dear. How have you been?”

“Very well, but a little busy. You know, teaching Younglings.”

He chuckled. “I can imagine. You have a gift with those little ones, you know?”

“I worry about them. And for their learning. I fear the war is diverting us from our beliefs as Jedi...”

“I understand why you think that. But don't torture yourself, it will all get better eventually.”

You smiled at him. You were grateful, you couldn't have had a better master. He had always supported you in everything, listened to you and gave you the best advice, even though you were no longer his apprentice.

“I was looking for you, actually.” You looked at him curiously. “I was sent to lead the battle in Cato Neimoidia. We leave in the morning.”

You nodded. In the last three years, you had grown used to farewells like that. “Give Wolffe my regards.”

“I will.” You had fought several times alongside your master and his battalion, so you had had the opportunity to get to know the commander. At first you didn't get along so well, but over time you had learned to deal with his strong personality.

You sighed. You could guess what would happen next. “Now, my child...” He took you by the shoulders affectionately. “As always, take care of yourself. Don't fight too much with the council, and be patient with the younglings.”

You felt like a Padawan again. “I will, Master.”

“And remember, don't let hard times detract from your peace. Emotions are part of you, but you must not let them control you.” You nodded, giving him a tight-lipped smile. He probably felt your stress in your bond. “I won't take up any more of your time, you must be tired.”

“You would never do that, master.” You both smiled at each other. “May the force be with you.”

“And with you, my old padawan.”

He watched you for a moment, his gaze transmitting a peace you had always admired. Then, with a final squeeze of your shoulders, he let you be on your way.

You closed the door to your quarters, you were finally home after a long day. After taking a long shower, and changing into your sleeping robes, you lay down on your bed with your datapad.

You had decided to do a few missing mission reports before going to sleep, but a message on your comlink distracted you. As you turned it on, Obi-wan's warm voice flooded your room.

“Hello, darling. Sorry I haven't checked in all day, I've been a little... busy. Anyway, I know it's already dark on Coruscant. If, hopefully, you're not asleep, give me a call. I have a lot to tell you.”

You smiled, dialing his contact. He answered immediately, looking very tired. His hair was slightly messy, he had dark circles under his eyes and a frown. But his gaze softened at the sight of you.

“Darling."

“Hey, love.” You nestled your holo-projector on top of some books. “Where are you?”

“In a utility closet on Yularen's ship.” You raised an eyebrow and he laughed a little. “ Apologies for making you call me so late. You must be busy.”

“Oh no, don't worry about it. I was going to try to report on some missions, but you know... it's really boring. I'd rather talk to you.”

“I'm glad to hear that.” He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. You could tell something was bothering him.

“Are you okay, how did the battle go?”

“It was quite alright. Anakin ended up saving us with a crazy strategy, as usual.”

“Sounds like something he would do.”

“Oh, you would have loved it. The 501st has some new jetpacks that... Sorry, I am rambling.”

“No, that's okay. Tell me about it.”

“No, it's just that...” He sighed. “Something happened, darling.”

Your chest sank. Those words could mean so many things, good or bad. You were mentally preparing yourself when Obi-wan spoke again. “Ahsoka called.”

Your eyes grew wide, staring at him in surprise. You hadn't heard from her since she left the Order, months ago. “What?”

“That's right.”

“And Ani... how is he?”

“In shock.”

“Maker.” You sighed. “And- What happened? Is she okay? In trouble?”

“She's fine. It's just...” He ruffled his hair, an action he did when he was stressed. “'Maul's been found.”

You looked at him silently for a few seconds. You sure looked a little dumb, your mouth hanging open in shock. It took you a while to find your voice again, muttering, “You must go get him.”

“We don't have any information yet. Right now, Ahsoka and Bo-Katan are coming, they'll give us all the information...”

“Wait. Bo-Katan? ...Kryze?”

He nodded. He didn't need to say anything else, for you knew very well who she was.

“Well then wait for them to arrive, and go with them. It's time to finish him off once and for all.”

“It's not that simple, love. And you know it.”

You frowned. “Maul has been causing damage for years. You have a chance to finally defeat him and... what are you waiting for, the council's approval?”

“From what they said, Maul is probably back on Mandalore. You know that because of its neutrality, the Republic can't interfere in the affairs of...”

“That's crap, and you know it, Obi-wan.” He looked at you, a mixture of confusion and surprise in his gaze. “Since the start of the war, we've interfered quite a few times in Mandalore's affairs. You've done it several times. Why not now?”

“It's different. We're talking about a possible siege and...”

“Then do it. I'll go help you myself, love. We're talking about Maul, the thing that has done you nothing but harm. He killed Qui-Gon, he killed Satine...”

From the way his expression changed, and even how he felt in the force, you realized you had come a bit far. You hadn't mentioned Satine since months ago, when Obi-wan had arrived from Mandalore, crying in your arms, for she had died while he was holding her.

“I'm so sorry, I got carried away, I...”

“It's alright.” He interrupted you. “You're right. I'll talk to the Council tomorrow, I'm sure we'll come to a conclusion.” He gave you a smile with his lips pressed together. “Now... can we change the subject?”

“Of course.” You nodded, and his gaze softened.

“How have you been, how's life on Coruscant?”

Your hand automatically rested on your belly. Shit, with so much that had happened, you had forgotten the small detail of your pregnancy. You were thankful Obi-wan could only see your face, otherwise he definitely would have noticed your action.

“Well... They put me back to teaching the little ones. Kyla's gotten a lot better with her lightsaber.”

“Oh yeah?” You had told him about the little one a while back. It was obvious she was one of your favorites.

“Yep. And... I talked to Master Yoda.” He raised an eyebrow. “She can probably be my Padawan. When she's older, in a year or two.”

Obi-wan smiled at you at what he said. “That's amazing, darling. You'll see, having a padawan isn't all it's cracked up to be...”

“Oh well, you say that because you taught Anakin. That's just bad luck, darling.”

They both laughed. “You say that like you weren't his adventure partner growing up. I swear, Plo Koon and I were seriously done.”

“Isn't that a little weird?”

He tilted his head. “What is?”

“That...well, you and I are dating. I mean...you could have been my master. I grew up next to your Padawan. Isn't that weird?”

“It's very different, darling.”

“Why?”

"Well, first of all, you could never have been my Padawan. You're older than Anakin, and I agreed to train him because... you know." No need to bring up past traumas here. "The relationship between a Master and his Padawan is an incredibly sacred thing, and it's nothing like the bond we have. Besides, we barely spoke back then. You were with your friends, with Anakin or with your Master. And we noticed each other when the war started. So no, I wouldn't say it's that weird." He paused. "Darling? Are you listening to me?"

You shook your head, snapping out of your mind. You were distracted by his beauty. It sounds cliché, yes, but you could listen to this man talk for hours and never get tired of it. Shit, you missed him so much.

"Oh, yes. But not everything you say is true."

"What do you mean?

"Mmm, well, maybe, and just maybe, I had a crush on you when I was a teenager."

Obi-Wan let out a surprised chuckle. "Really?

"Yes... But it was a platonic crush. I never thought anything would actually happen."

You were both silent, just admiring each other for a few seconds. You had been through so much, but yout love only felt stronger.

"I miss you." Obi-Wan whispered, looking tenderly at you.

Your chest filled with warmth. You had been stressed all day and hadn't thought about how much you missed your dear. "I miss you too."

And it dawned on you, you could tell him. It was Obi-Wan after all. Maybe it wasn't the best news to deliver through a holocall, but you knew you could work it out together. You trusted him more than anything.

You were about to say something to him when voices came out of the hologram.

"Kark. It's Anakin." He whispered. "He's going to find me with the Force, I have to get out of here."

But before he hung up, he looked into your eyes again. "Rest, my love. I love you."

You smiled at him and replied, "I love you too," before the hologram disappeared.

The sun was just rising when you woke up. It was still early, so you took your time to shower, get ready, and even make a small breakfast before heading out.

The morning was quiet, some Jedi were walking around with their datapads, Padawans and Younglings were rushing to their first classes of the day. You considered going out into the courtyard to meditate, as it helped clear your mind.

What you enjoyed most about being in the temple was the peace. With every step you took, you felt a deep calm, something that was characteristic of the Order.

But as you walked, something changed. At first it was so slight that you hardly noticed it. You felt it in the Force, a slight pulse, a dark echo. It was cold, something that barely touched the edges of your mind, but there it was.

The further you went, the more the perfect silence was broken. The lights seemed to dim and there was something heavy in the atmosphere. You noticed that your footsteps slowed a little, and a tension began to form in the back of your mind. It was as if the air was charged with something you couldn't see, but was ready to burst forth.

And then you heard it. A buzzing sound that grew louder as the seconds passed. It became a thunderous and intense sound. You looked up at the sky, and your gaze was filled with horror as you discovered the source of the sound.

Ships. Dozens of ships invading the planet.

The temple was tense. Jedi and Padawans stopped and looked at each other, all as confused as you were.

The buzzing became a roar. More ships, closer and closer.

A tremor shook the ground as the first explosion was heard in the distance. In a second, screams broke the silence and sirens began to wail.

Without thinking, you began running toward the center of the temple. You had barely processed the chaos when you saw Mace Windu, walking steadily, his face really serious. More than it had been since you had known him.

"Master Windu." You approached. You had barely noticed that you were trembling. "What is going on?"

He looked at you, his dark eyes telling you the gravity of the situation. "Grievous is here." He announced. "Coruscant is under attack."

And in that moment, you knew everything would change.

next chapter 𖥔 ͙ࣳ ⸰ֺ⭑

© obiwansito, 2024. reposts, copies and translations are not allowed. my work cannot be used for training AI.

[eyelessfaces]

please, run away while you still can

llewyn davis x reader

summary: llewyn is used to things turning to shit by now. this time, he tries to anticipate it.

warnings: angst, insecurities, llewyn being self destructive and trying to sabotage the one good thing in his life because he's like that, cigarettes because it's llewyn

tags: gn!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort

word count: 1.7k

I haven't posted any actual fic in like two months what the fuck

This sight is growing to be so familiar to you, and unlike your other friends, you don’t mind. Quite the opposite, actually. It’s early, but Llewyn is up already, smoking his first cigarette of the day by the window like you had asked him to.

“Did you miss sleeping on the couch?” you half-joke, tearing him out of his thoughts, and that’s when he turns to you that you notice the obvious saddened frown over his face.

You had known something was wrong, but your mind had been too hazy with sleep to truly make out what was up. He had left your bedroom in the middle of the night, and when you reached for his arm so he wouldn’t go, he disregarded it, still leaning over to leave a kiss at your temple.

Now that you were fully awake, you were pretty confused as to why he had wanted to sleep on your worn out couch when he could have slept in your much more comfortable bed, now that things were clear between you.

“I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to bother you by tossing and turning all night long.” he mumbles as his gaze shifts towards the couch, a thick blanket messily thrown over it. He sighs as he puts his cigarette out in the ashtray you had specifically bought for him. “I should go. I’ll ask Joy if I can spend a few days there” he declares as he picks up his discarded pants on the floor. You hadn’t even noticed he had brought them with him in the living room. You frown as he puts them on, closing the window before turning back to him.

“You can stay here, you know. I don’t mind.” he looks up and raises an eyebrow at you as he buckles his belt. “I actually enjoy having you around, despite what you might think.” you nod.

He nibbles on his bottom lip as he looks around for his patterned shirt, which might have stayed in your bedroom. He hadn’t truly planned on leaving yet when he left the bedroom, after all.

“I know you do.” he exhales, “That’s the problem” he mutters under his breath, kinda hoping for it to go unnoticed, but you’re studying him hard enough to make out what he’s saying.

“Llewyn wh– What’s wrong?” you frown and sigh, plopping down onto your couch, reaching for his hand. 

“Why–” he sighs, slightly shaking his head. “What are you doing with me.” he rhetorically asks, sitting down next to you. It’s stupid that he sat down with you, it will be even harder for him to leave now.

Your hand settles at the nape of his neck, and your thumb rubs that spot under his ear, just the way you know he likes, just the way it appeases him.

“That has to be the stupidest question you’ve ever asked me.” 

“I’m serious.” he sighs.

“So am I.” you say, shifting closer to him. “What’s this about?” you ask, a hand resting at his knee.

“I’m the worst guy you could get” he declares, a small, stupid chuckle leaving his mouth as he says the words. He means it. You can see it with the way he’s avoiding your gaze, with the way he’s trying to pick the loose ends of the seams of his pants. 

“Why are you saying things like that? I’d consider myself to be lucky, actually.” you frown, taking a hold of his hands, so he wouldn’t tear apart one of the few pairs of pants in his possession, but especially to show him that you’re meaning what you said.

“No, I am lucky. You, you’re setting yourself up sweetheart.” he declares as his thumbs brush the back of your hands, when one part of him wants to push them away to make this all easier.

"I have nothing to give you." He should have left in the middle of the night. It would have been much easier. No explanations needed, no hard goodbyes. "I'm not good enough for you, I’m a mess.” he fiddles with your fingers, looking down at them as he talks. 

You tighten your grip onto his hand, squeezing hard enough to draw a reaction out of him. He looks up at you, making eye contact with you for the first time since you both woke up.

“What the hell are you talking about, Llewyn” you shake your head, astounded that he thinks so little of himself when you have always been so admirative of him, so impressed by everything he does, so enamored with him.

“I’ll hurt you too, I’ll fuck this up like I fuck everything else up” he says as he pinches his lips. You can see the weight of the world in the brown of his eyes. “I’ll say or do something stupid at some point, something that’ll hurt you, that’ll make you regret this all, it’s not too late for you to go.”

“It is”

He frowns, looking confused as if you just said the stupidest thing he's ever heard in his whole life.

“Why?” he snorts, an almost offended expression over his face, and you can see he’s beginning to lose patience; you know how he is, and you know this could quickly turn into a much more complicated conversation if you don’t do something quickly.

“Because I love you, you fucking idiot.” you say squeezing his hand again. “That’s what’s wrong with you. You’re an idiot for not realizing this.”

He closes his eyes, letting go of your hand, shaking his head before he gets up from the couch. You're quick to follow, ready to prevent him from doing anything stupid.

He turns, opens his mouth to talk again, and you know he's prepared to say something neither of you is gonna like, because that's his habit of defense.

“Shut up. I’m not letting you fuck this up deliberately." you stop him, and he sighs as you follow him to your window where he picks up the pack of cigarettes he left there. "I would be a fucked up idiot to let you go. Even more fucked up than you think you are" you joke as you snatch the pack from his hands, and he snorts. "I know what I'm doing with you. Trust me" you nod, and his lips pinch in a defeated smile.

You throw his cigarettes onto the couch, and he tuts and sighs. You grab his arm to stop him from going there. "Hey." you call, gripping his arm tight, and he turns to you. "I love you." you nod, and he falters and huffs out the breath he didn't even realize he had been holding, and takes you in his arms. 

He holds you, tight. Borderline too tight, but you know he needs it so you don't say anything. You rub his back up and down, your chin settled over his shoulder; you feel his warm breath against your skin as he buries his face into your neck, his beard pleasantly tickling the area. 

"I'm sorry angel" he eventually whispers, before letting go of his tight grip on you. His hand comes to settle at your cheek, and he looks at you like he has already fucked it all up. "I know I'm an asshole. But I’d be miserable without you. I'm sorry" he repeats as his dark eyes study your whole face, looking for any hint of how you feel about him at this moment. Your faces are just inches away, and yet he still can't tell what is beyond your eyes.

Maybe that's it, you hate him. Maybe this is the moment this turns to shit. 

"Please, say something." he chuckles, helpless. It didn't happen often, but he was pretty sure he could burst into tears at any moment now. He would hate you to see that.

And he would have left already, if this was anyone else. 

Now he realizes he probably should have, it would have been easier for the both of you. 

He should have thrown a tantrum like he’s so used to, should have been selfish and should have hurt your feelings, so he could leave being angry, so the pill would be easier to swallow.

But hurting your feelings was the last thing he wanted; even though in this case, it would be for your own good, so you wouldn’t have to bear this burden, so you wouldn’t have him slowly poisoning your life like a cancer progressively eating you until nothing’s left, like a wave of toxicity swallowing you whole.

You weakly smile at him, and brush back his curls when you see the beaten expression over his face. He looks like he’s decomposing, his eyes about to fall out from how hard he’s repressing what’s trying to escape.

You leave a kiss at his nose, it’s random and you do it with no forethought, but it’s the only thing you can think of at the moment.

A sigh of relief escapes his mouth when he sees you're not mad at him, and his forehead comes to rest against yours.

“Sorry.” he mutters under his breath, shaking his head as he closes his eyes. 

“It’s okay.” you declare as you cup his jaw, your nails softly scratching his beard. "Just don't leave, please."

“I won't” he mutters in a whisper, just loud enough for you to hear. “I don’t actually wanna go to my sister’s”

You snort, turning away, and it’s his turn to grab you by the arm, pulling you back to him.

"I'm miserable, c'mon, kiss me. Please”

A small chuckle leaves your mouth, before it comes to slot against his.

His breath smells of cigarette and his lips are chapped and rough from the cold, but the way they move against yours with ease reminds you of why you like kissing him. He hums softly as his hand comes to cradle the back of your head, pulling you closer. 

"Breakfast?" you ask as you pull away, smiling at him and playing with a curl behind his ear like nothing even happened, because you know that's what he wants. 

He mirrors your smile, leaving a quick kiss at your lips before plopping down onto the couch, lighting himself another cigarette. 

"Breakfast." he nods, walking to the window when he remembers you want him to smoke there.

Maybe he'll fuck this up at some point, but he'll stay with you as long as you still want him.

—

please reblog and tell me what you thought about this, this helps a lot thank you<3

inside llewyn davis taglist: @apollo-enthusiast @scarabgrant @lockleysgrl @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @missmarmaladeth @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @anightshift @campingwiththecharmings @dameronshandholder @spider-starry @spxctorsslxt @dameronshandholder

[bardoftheshire]

Weird Science | Chapter V

Egon Spengler x Reader

Summary; Y/n's proton pack is finally finished, meaning she gets to go on missions with the rest of the boys. It turns out to be a bit more eventful than originally thought.

Notes; This one was fun, sorry I've been gone from this fic for like, 3 months straight now. Egon isn't mentioned or doesn't really talk much in here tbh.

Warnings; Tiny bit of foul language, more mentions of smoking, and a lil' bit of violence (with ghosts).

Chapter: 5/? | <Previous chapter | Next chapter>

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷︶︶︶︶꒦꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶︶꒦︶︶︶꒦꒷

"Can I drive? Please Ray?"

You had just finished your Proton Pack a few days ago (with the help of Egon of course.) and are finally getting to go on a job with the boys.

"Y/n, are you sure you're allowed to drive? You haven't killed anyone driving yet, have you?" Peter says, poking fun at you.

"You're very funny, Venkman. I've never killed someone, but I'm more than happy to let you be the first." You say with a glare.

"Oh? I'll be your first? Don't worry, I'll be gentle."

"C'mon, stop the unnecessary bickering. Go ahead and take the keys, Y/n. The wheel's all yours." Ray interrupts, tossing you the keys.

"Yes!" You quietly say as you get inside the car and start it.

The rest of the boys get into the car, with Ray sitting in the passenger seat beside you.

"Alright! Seatbelts, boys!"

You and Ray both buckle yours, then you look back to see Peter and Egon look at each other and then back at you.

"What?"

"Just go and try not to get us arrested or kill us, Y/n." Peter says, leaning onto the left side of you and speaking into your ear.

You scoff and put the car in drive. The address was roughly 10 minutes away. If you were going the speed limit of course.. just a little over the limit was fine, wasn't it?

Ray takes a cigarette out and lights it, taking a drag and blowing out the smoke as he rolls his window down.

"Hey, you mind giving me one?" You say as you look at him for a few seconds before going back to focus on the road.

He hums and takes another out of the carton and hands it to you. Lighting it for you as you keep it hanging from your mouth.

You switch on the alarm and drive to the address. You don't think urgency was a thing for this job, unless it was extremely serious, but going faster across traffic was fun.

Once you all reached the house, you hit the breaks and came to a quick halt, earning a yelp from each of the guys.

"Jesus!"

"That was fun! Hell of a lot more fun driving this thing then spending hours cleaning that goddamned ectoplasm off of it." You say after exiting the car, tossing the keys back to Ray.

"At least we know who to give the keys to when we need to get somewhere quickly.."

"I think I'd rather be covered in slime for the rest of my life instead of having her drive me anywhere ever again." Peter says dramatically.

"Shut up.."

All of you grab your proton packs from the back, a brand new clean, untouched one sitting just for you. One you created from scratch with Egon.

A black patch with your last name embedded was sewn into the coveralls, your very own piece of clothing that identified you to everyone that would possibly see you doing this job. L/n.

"...Y/n? Y/n!" Peter says, shaking your shoulder.

"Hmm?"

"Stop lookin' at it and put the damn thing on so we can get going."

You nod and grab the pack, putting it on your back with a grunt from the sudden heavy weight now on your shoulders and back. You shut the door and hold the proton wand, speed walking to catch up to the boys.

"Ready, Y/n?" Egon says, looking at you.

You look back at him and nod, a look of confidence on your face.

As you enter and see the mess and amount of bookshelves, chairs, paintings, and pictures fallen onto the floor that confidence quickly plummets and disappears, and is replaced with fear.

You freeze up as you look at the scene and look back at Egon with your mouth agape, cigarette at the corner of your mouth hanging on.

"I thought you were ready?" Egon says, a small smirk on his face.

You look back ahead of you and walk with the boys, using your free hand to take one last puff of your cigarette before extinguishing it and saving the rest for later as you put the other half into your pocket.

Aggression was very clear, and ectoplasm covered the corners of the tables, chairs, and bookshelves.

Class 4.

"The client said that the apparition was visible and very aggressive. The PKE meter is going crazy so that alone already gives away that it's a class 4. This one's gonna be a fight, boys." Peter says as he walks around, touching the surfaces of the tables.

"And, uh.. girl." He says as he turns around and looks at you.

"So, let's split up and look for this thing now? Me and Egon will take upstairs, Peter can take downstairs, and how about Y/n takes the basement?" Ray says as he points to everyone.

"Me? Take the basement? Are you absolutely sure you want me to take the basement? I mean, I think I could totally take any other part of the house, too. Totally." You say nervously. 

You wouldn't admit in front of Peter you were scared out of your wits right now, and Ray giving you the basement was probably the worst thing he could've done.

"What? Are you scared?" Peter teases.

"No way!" You protest, scowling at him.

You look around to see that Egon and Ray were already heading upstairs and you were left with Peter. Knowing him, he wouldn't take the basement.

Y'know what. Maybe this is exactly what you need. Fear will only hold you back during this job, and expelling it immediately by going down to the basement will fix it.

You huff and open the basement door, looking down at the dark descending concrete stairwell and take a dry gulp.

You shine your flashlight and look at the walls until finding the light switch, turning it on and revealing a normal basement with pipes, boxes, old toys, a breaker, and concrete walls.

You search the area and open the breaker, finding no wires missing or out of order. Looking behind boxes, lifting toys, rolling away a Radio Flyer wagon, and even knocking on pipes.

You sigh after being in there for about 20 minutes and finding nothing and turn around. Then you're suddenly face to face with the class 4 apparition no less than 10 feet away from it. Just it's head to half of its torso. It sneered, crooked teeth visible with the image of decaying flesh.

You freeze and stay quiet, afraid it'd attack you if you made even the slightest movement or noise.

It suddenly charges towards you with a high frequency squeal, and you shoot your proton in its direction with your eyes closed.

The sound of objects falling and crackles came from the direction of where you shot in front of you and you suddenly felt wet and a slight heaviness on your skin.

You open your eyes and look around. The boxes in front of you were destroyed and collapsed, and you and your equipment was now soaked in ectoplasm.

"SHIT!" You shout.

You grimace at the feeling of the slime on you, and kick boxes out of the way as you stomp up the stairs muttering curses to yourself.

You were shaken up and terrified, but being you were in charge of the laundry you were not excited for how long this was going to take to scrub out.

You slam the door and lock it. As if that was going to do anything to keep the ghost from getting out and being anywhere but in there.

Ray and Egon come rushing down the stairs, Peter turning a corner to look at you.

"Y/n! Did you find it? Did you see it?" Ray asks excitedly.

"Oh, how unfortunate. You got slimed, and bad." Peter says with fake sympathy.

"Oh, I found your fuckin' ghost, alright. It not only screamed at me, but it came at me and slimed me!"

"You signed up for this, remember." Peter reminds you.

You sigh and try to calm down. Mumbling 'I know's' to yourself as you miserably try to wipe the ectoplasm off of yourself.

"Did you see where it went?"

"Uh, it went behind me towards where the stoves are in the kitchen I think.. I'm damn lucky the bastard didn't hurt me." You reply.

You all walk over to the kitchen, staying by Egon's side the whole time.

The PKE meter in his hand still going off like crazy, proving to be useless as its apparently been the same throughout the areas of the house they checked.

Once again you see it. It was wildly moving around the kitchen, destroying as much as was in its way, throwing objects at us.

"Alright, I'm gonna set the trap, everyone get ready.." Ray says as he throws the trap in the center of the kitchen.

"3... 2... 1!" Ray counts down and everyone shoots at the apparition, struggling to keep it from breaking from the grasp. After a moment, we finally trap it. The trap steamed and made a 'fzzt' sound as Ray picked it up.

"Holy shit.." You say as you put your wand down. "HOLY SHIT!"

The adrenaline had finally hit you and the realization that you could've died back in the basement came back to you. How on earth did the boys do this everyday and night and come back fine and unshaken with just a scratch or two?

Ray leaves the house to put the trap and his equipment safely back into the Ecto-1, with Peter following behind him.

You stand, looking around the area with your mouth slightly agape. What on earth just happened?

"Y/n. Let's go." Egon says, placing a hand on your back as he looks at you.

You tense up and look at him, pausing for a moment before pausing and walking to exit the house.

After putting away your equipment you get into the back of the Ecto-1 with Egon and sit quietly, still thinking of how awful it was going to be to clean this uniform and the inside of the Ecto-1 this time.

After arriving, each of you exit, take your equipment and place it back into each of your respected lockers.

You'd have to clean off your proton pack later on when you have the time.

You sigh and grab the zipper of your coveralls to pull it down. Or, at least try to pull it down. You stood by your locker, trying to pull as much as you could, the slime wasn't helping, no matter how much you tried wiping it off.

"Do you want help, Y/n?" Egon spoke as he stood in front of you.

"Uh, yes.. please." You say, taking your hands off of the zipper and letting them rest to your sides.

Egon steps towards you and tries to help open the coverall zipper. The proximity and heat radiating off of his body made you quickly flush, so quickly that you could feel your head rush.

You let out a shaky exhale as he finally budges it and zips it halfway down your torso.

"Ah, thanks. The ectoplasm dries and makes it harder to actually unzip these but I guess it's a lot harder to do it yourself, huh?" You say as you get out of your coveralls and fold them up so you could put it in the laundry room neatly to wash tonight.

"Yes, though I've found just some warm water works quite well." Egon says as he wipes his hands on his lab coat before pushing up his glasses.

"I don't know how you could just go back to working after doing something like that?"

"You just get used to it. It's not bad, I've been doing this for years." Egon responds.

"Are you serious?"

You understood staying up late and working all day and night for projects, but even for you, trying to do something after that was intense..

"I'm always serious."

Right. You'd heard that same response a thousand from him since you started working with him here and being around him almost everyday.

"I know that. Anyways, I'm going to get to scrubbing and doing the laundry now. do you have anything that needs cleaning?" You say, taking off your boots and replacing them with your sneakers.

"No, that's alright. And it's not necessary, I'll do the laundry tonight."

"What? No, no. Egon, you go work on your stuff, I do the laundry." You say as you look at Egon dumbfounded.

"Y/n, you're clearly exhausted. Leave early and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow."

"But, Egon-" You stop before continuing to argue. Trying to argue with him would prove to be pointless, and you were exhausted, and very near falling asleep by now.

You sigh. "Alright, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight, Egon." You say, placing a hand on his arm before walking away.

You grab your coat and scarf, making sure to tell the boys and Janine goodnight before you left.

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷︶︶︶︶꒦꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶︶꒦︶︶︶꒦꒷

Sorry I've been dead for so long, but I'm very all over the place and have been writing like, 7 different fics all at the same time now, on top of school and a job (oops!). I think this was the longest chapter in the series so far. Can't wait to write the next chapter! I promise I won't give up on or totally forget about this series like I did to all of my other ones!

[alwaysmoncheri]

𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒

pairings ❧ steve harrington x reader

summary ❧ (y/n) spends the holidays with the one and only steve harrington

warnings ❧ female!reader, cheesy & sappy steve, shit writing, holiday romcom, stancy

word count ❧ 2.7k

additional notes ❧ this is basically a cheesy holiday romcom ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ

3 Months Later

Before we knew it, the holiday season had come around and it seemed like we were all scrambling to find gifts for each other. Nancy and Jonathan invited me to go Christmas shopping with them, seeing that we'd become very close in the past few months. Our shared trauma had a lot to do with that.

Jonathan had just called me and told me he'd be at my house five minutes ago. I glance at the clock again before returning my gaze out the window.

With a sigh, I trudge over to the phone hanging on the wall, starting to call Nancy's number. That's when I hear a car rolling into my driveway.

I grab my jacket, pulling it tight to my body before opening the front door and walking cheerfully outside. I instantly freeze, not because of the cold, but when I spot the maroon car sitting in my driveway.

Steve sends me a shy wave from inside his car. I hesitantly wave back before walking towards the passenger door and sitting inside.

"Hey," I say as Steve turns the heat up noticing my shivering figure, "I was supposed to be going shopping with Jonathan and Nancy."

"Uh, yeah," Steve says, rubbing the back of his neck, "Nance called and said something came up and asked if I could step in."

Also in the past few months, Nancy and Steve got back together. He really did love that girl.

"Oh well," I say buckling my seatbelt with a bright smile, "I guess we're doing this together then, Harrington."

"Yeah, I guess so, Henderson."

|☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆|

Steve walks behind me with a smile as I skip around the town while it snows. I stop at every window of every shop checking to see if anything catches my eye to give to one of my friends.

Steve seems to be struggling with what to get Nancy so I have to help him out a bit.

"How about that?" I tell Steve pointing at the pretty bracelet laying in the window of the local jewelry shop.

After a few moments, Steve slowly comes up to stand beside me, his warm presence filling the air as he glances at the bracelet on display. I continue to gaze in the window, my eyes locking on a silver necklace with a ring for a pendant. My gaze lingers there for a moment before I turn my attention back to Steve, who has been watching me this whole time with those eyes.

"Yeah, that's perfect." Steve says, breaking the silence, by referring to the bracelet I'd pointed out.

"Okay, great," I reply walking towards the door to the shop, "Lets go get it."

"Wait," Steve says, grabbing my arm before I can open the door, "I'll get it. You go ahead to the next place, I'll meet you there." He says quickly and I don't question it. I just nod and start my walk to the next store.

As I walk down the sidewalk, my feet crunching into the snow, I think about what I could get for Steve. I glance at the bags in my hands, feeling a pang of guilt and embarrassment as I realize I've gotten everyone something, except for him. He's never been the hardest to shop for, but the pressure of getting Steve the perfect gift is starting to get to me. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to let some creativity in, but so far, nothing comes to mind.

Suddenly, I hear quick footsteps coming from behind me. As I open my eyes I'm met with Steve who slows his stride before stopping by my side with a couple more small bags in hand.

Steve seems to notice something is up as he tilts his head to one side with a confused look, "You okay?" He asks quietly.

"Yeah, no, I'm good." I say when we begin to walk through the freshly powered snow. "I'm just thinking."

"About me, I hope?" Steve replies with a smug smile on his face.

"It's always about you, Harrington."

|☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆|

The next day was Christmas Eve. Today I would be going over to the Wheeler's house to pick up Dustin from the boys' D&D campaign and hand out my gifts. And I still don't have anything for Steve.

I'm starting to freak out a little bit.

I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, my thoughts racing with each breath I take. As the words repeat over and over in my head, I can't help but think of Steve.

Steve. Steve. Steve. What would Steve like?

I sit up in bed, as the exhaustion builds inside of me. Wanting to take a break from the constant thoughts of Steve, I decide to leave the house in search of some fresh air. I grab my jacket and head towards downtown, finding a quiet bench, wiping the fresh snow off before sitting down.

As I watch the people and couples stroll by, I take a deep breath, feeling a sense of peace and relief.

Then, I hear soft footsteps crunching through the snow, approaching me. I look up to see an old lady, probably in he 80's, sitting down next to me, her soft and gentle eyes gazing at me with warmth and kindness. She smiles, and I respond with one of my own. The two of us share a peaceful moment, the snow falling slowly around us and sparkling in the light.

"Hey," I turn slowly towards the lady, "Could you maybe help me with something?"

"What can I help you with, honey?" The lady replies kindly.

"Um, so I have this friend, and I haven't found a gift for him yet." I let out a small sigh before continuing, "I just don't know what to do because I want it to be perfect." I finish, glancing back at the lady who just smiles.

"This friend must be very special, huh?" She asks with a certain look hiding behind those soft eyes.

"Yeah." I respond, almost dreamily, "He is."

"If you mean as much to him as he does to you, I don't think it would matter what you get him," The lady says, that soft smile never leaving her face, "As long as it's from the heart." She finishes, holding her hand up to her chest, where her heart is.

I finally know what I want to give to Steve thanks to a sudden inspiration courtesy of a random old lady's brilliant mind. I quickly thank her before rushing home so I can get the gift done before I have to head over to the Wheeler's.

Frantically, I rummage through my room, searching for the old camera Steve and I used to use together. I find it in an unexpected spot, under my bed, before heading back into town to a local shop where I can get the photos developed. I wait impatiently while the pictures dry. When they're finally done, I grab them stuffing them into my bag before going home. I grin as I shut my bedroom door behind me, knowing they'll make the perfect gift for Steve.

I slip the pictures into a small envelope before grabbing a sheet of paper to write a letter to Steve. With a clear and steady hand, I start to write, my thoughts and emotions flowing as I compose the perfect message for the one who has always meant the world to me.

As I write, a flood of memories come rushing into my mind.

"Is it a little strange? Sure, but it's also romantic. When I heard it for the first time, it reminded me of you."

I smile as I remember that night we'd spent on his bedroom floor. I remember his warm smile, the gentle touches, the mix-tape we'd never finished.

"I don't really know who you are anymore Steve."

"Then let me show you,"

I pause in my writing to dwell on the night Steve snuck into my room, all those months ago. That was the night our friendship was truly reborn in a moment of secrecy and trust.

"What the hell did you do?"

"I didn't do anything, freak."

A single tear slips out, fueled by the bitter memory of what Steve called me months ago. I let my anger and frustration spill into the paper, letting which lets the rest of my emotions loose.

"Whoa, (Y/n), what are you doing with that?"

"Protecting your sorry ass."

I let out a light chuckle of amusement as my rage from earlier dissolves into a warm flood of happy memories.

I remember the day we made our promise, when Steve and I were just kids. We sat with our legs dangling in the pool, lightly swinging our feet through the water. The water glimmered in the sunlight, the sound of the wind rustling through the trees as we watched our reflections in the ripples of the water. I remember the sense of calm unity that we felt in that moment, our friendship forged in the waters of that pool, our words spoken with so much hope and faith in our hearts.

"We won't ever stop being friends, right?”

"We're in this together, Steve Harrington."

"Always."

With a small smile on my face, I carefully slip the letter into the envelope alongside our childhood pictures. I then gently place the envelope in my backpack, where it lies with the rest of the presents I'll be giving out later today.

Then I realize I've made a love letter in disguise.

Shit.

Oh well.

I hear a couple knocks on the front door and promptly open it, finding Jonathan standing on the other side with a warm smile. As he gestures towards the driveway, I nod and head out the door, putting my backpack on and grabbing my jacket. We then drive to the Wheeler's house to pick up our brothers from their campaign. I'm filled with excitement and anticipation as we pull up, eager to see my friends reactions to the gifts I picked out for them.

As we pull up to the house, I notice Steve's maroon car sitting in the driveway, the sight causing my smile to falter ever so slightly. The thoughts of him and Nancy getting back together run through my mind. But I remind myself that Steve and Nancy are my friends, and I'm going to support their decision, no matter how much it hurts.

Jonathan and I get out of the car and walk up to the door where a very cheerful Mrs. Wheeler greets us, with a tray of cookies in hand.

"Merry Christmas, kids," She greets with a warm smile, "Cookie?" She offers pushing out the tray towards us.

"Ooh, thanks, Mrs. Wheeler!" I exclaim happily, grabbing a cookie before walking alongside Jonathan into the house.

"Nancy is upstairs with Steve and the boys are in the basement." Mrs. Wheeler comments before making her way back to the kitchen with the rest of the cookies.

"Perfect," I say before walking down the stairs to the basement.

"Jeez, what's that smell?" Jonathan says as I bring my hand up to my nose to plug it, "Have you guys been playing games all day, or just farting?" Jonathan asks, making me let out a snort.

"Oh, that's just Dustin." Lucas giggles, "He farted. Dustin farted." Lucas sings while making farting noises.

"Okay." Dustin replies annoyed.

"Dustin farted." Lucas continues to sing.

"Very mature, Lucas." My brother comments and I let out another chuckle.

"Will." Jonathan says, grabbing his brother's attention, who stand up with a smile, "Come on."

"Shut up." Dustin repeats.

"Dustin farted!" Lucas sings, standing from his seat.

"Bye guys." Will says with a little wave before following his brother up the stairs.

"Bye Will." The three boys chorus at the same time.

"Dust, we gotta go too," I say with a smile as the boys say goodbye to their friend, "But first, presents!" I sing, opening my backpack.

As the boys sift through my bag and pull out their gifts with excitement, I watch them with a smile on my face. They thank me for the thoughtful presents with wide grins, giving me affectionate hugs. I wave goodbye to the boys before, Dustin and I rush up the stairs. Where Mrs. Wheeler is waiting.

"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Wheeler." Dustin and I say at the same time and I send her a soft smile.

"Merry Christmas, guys." She returns my smile, "Say hi to your mom for me."

"We will." I reply before heading towards the door. I usher Dustin out, telling him that I'll be right there.

Before I can make my way up the stairs to Nancy's room, her and Steve come rushing down the stair. In a flurry of holiday cheer and joy, the two of them make their way towards me, their faces filled with excitement with presents in hand.

"We thought we heard your voice." Nancy says with a sweet smile, handing me a present, "Merry Christmas, (Y/n)."

"Thank you, Nancy." I say sincerely before she nods, walking towards her mom whose still in the kitchen.

I place the tiny gift box into my backpack grabbing the envelope for Steve before facing the nervous looking boy in front of me.

"I—"

"Here." I say, shoving the letter into his hand.

"Oh, thanks." Steve replies, starting to open the letter.

"Wait!" I say frantically grabbing his hands, preventing him from opening it right now.

"Later?" Steve asks, reading my mind.

"Yeah." I let out a relieved sigh as Steve puts the letter into his front pocket.

I stare into Steve's eyes for a moment, my heart fluttering with every beat. Then he reaches into his back pocket and suddenly reveals a small jewelry box, the sight causing my breath to catch in my throat.

"Uh, I got you something." Steve says, fidgeting with the box in his hand, before reaching out to grab my hand, placing the box into my palm gently, "You can open it now, if you want."

I slowly and carefully open the box, my anticipation growing with every inch it opens. When the lid finally lifts, however, I can't help but gasp as I catch glimpse of the necklace from yesterday, the one with the ring. I stare at the necklace in my hand, eyebrows furrowed as I try to make sense of this gift.

My thoughts run wild as I look up at the boy whose staring at me with excitement and slight worry.

"Read it." Steve says softly, "The ring."

I grab the ring noticing the engraved message on the inside.

Always

My eyes start to tear up when I glance up at Steve.

"Whoa, you don't like it?" Steve questions with a concerned look.

"No, no, I love it, Steve." I laugh lightly at his worry.

"Oh, good." He replies rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Can I?" Steve asks, reaching his hands out towards the box.

With blush spreading across my cheeks, I nod as Steve steps closer, his warm hands taking the necklace. He gently moves my hair to the side and quickly fastens the necklace around my neck with a soft click. As he shifts my hair back into place, I turn back around, our faces inches apart.

"Thank you, Steve." I say softly, glancing at his lips, "I really love it."

"Yeah, I mean, I saw you looking at it and I—"

I cut him off with a quick hug, a warm feeling pooling in my chest as I feel his arms wrap around me. We stand there by the front door of the Wheeler's house, our bodies pressed together, the moment charged with emotion. I lean in and give his cheek a quick peck before finally parting ways. I turn towards the door, my hand resting on the knob.

"Bye, Steve." I say, sending him a small wave before opening the door.

"Bye." Steve replies dazed, but still gives me a two-finger wave.

I smile because something changed, and I'm not sure that's a bad thing anymore.

previous chapter . next chapter . my masterlist . my taglist

alwaysmoncheri © ─ all rights reserved. please do not repost/translate/copy any of my work.

[coopigeoncoo]

An Itch to Scratch, Chapter 3: Through The Hourglass I Saw You

Chapter Links: One, Two, Three

Pairing: Kirishima Eijiro/Female Reader

Rating: Explicit 18+

Tags: Mermay, Mer!Kirishima, Interspecies Relationships, Sexual Content, Drowning, Somnophilia, Caretaking, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Medical Conditions, Family Secrets, Self-Esteem Issues, Long-Distance Relationship, Wakes & Funerals, Family Member Death, Depression, Original Characters, Adopted Children, Angst with a Happy Ending.

This story is part of a collaboration from the Teahouse Server.

---

Kirishima Eijiro is everything you never thought you'd find when you packed up your car and moved to a dilapidated fishing town.  He was handsome, funny, and kind; the sort of man who took your breath away.  

And that might actually be a bit of a problem.

---

"Good girl ," Eijiro praised, his hands like a vice on your hips as he pulled away from your mouth with a satisfied grin.  You returned his smile with one of your own; the vibrant joy that had churned in your belly unfurled throughout your body, leaving you feeling breathless and lightheaded.  

"Eiji," you gasped, eyes widening in panic as your lungs seemed to seize in your chest.  "I- can't breathe!"

---

Continue reading below, or follow the link to Ao3!

The harbor grew grimmer by the day as ships disappeared one-by-one, loaded up onto trailers and hauled away into storage for the season.  Some of the men joined their ships in wintering away from the town, setting off in the early morning light to visit far flung families until they had long worn out their welcome and the ice began to thaw.

You were helping out down at the docks that morning, accompanying Gramps who insisted on sticking to his usual routine despite the rasp in his chest that he couldn't quite kick.  You'd stuck around to keep an eye on him, making yourself useful by stacking up the lobster pots and crab cages in a nearby storage building.  The wire cages were hopelessly bent and buckled from years of heavy use, so your stacks were lopsided and wobbly; threatening to topple over if you so much as looked at them wrong.  

"Could be worse, I suppose," the Dockmaster tutted, which was pretty much as close to a glowing recommendation as he was capable of giving.  "Don't forget to grab the pots near the office too."

"The remaining boats won't need them?"

"Nah.  It's starting to get too cold for shellfish.  Most of the crabs and lobsters have already moved out into deeper waters where it's warmer.  It's not worth the trouble for the handful of 'em that haven't had the good sense to leave yet."

"I see," you mutter distractedly, thinking about the lobster you knew for certain was still lingering near the shore and how cold his skin had grown.  

"You need to leave, don't you?" You asked Kirishima the next day as you lay sprawled across his chest and belly, an old quilt wrapped around your upper bodies as you did your best to bring up his core temperature.

"I don't want to," he whispered, pulling you further up his chest so he could nuzzle into your neck as he was oft to do.  "I want to stay with you."

"Eijiro-"

"Please.  Just a few more days.  I'm not ready yet."

"And you will be in a couple of days?"

"No," Eijiro laughs dryly, his upper legs snagging the edge of the quilt and tucking it more firmly around your body.  "But I don't think I'll have much of a choice."

Clad in your wetsuit, the murky ocean water too cold for even a warm-blooded creature like yourself to brave without discomfort, you clung desperately to Eijiro in the fading evening light.  You had spent the entire day wrapped in each other's tight embrace, treasuring every kiss and caress, knowing that these fleeting touches would have to sustain you over the long months you'd spend apart.  

"Promise that you'll come back?" You croak, throat tight with misery.  "That you won't meet some lobster lady and forget all about me?"

"That's enough of that sort of talk," Eijiro scolded, grasping your chin in his icy hand and directing your gaze up to his face; his eyes steely and serious.  "Believe me, Minnow- nobody can ever compare to you."

"I'm sorry," you cry.  "I'm not doubting your sincerity, but it's just so hard and I- I don't know what I'll do without you."

"Can I tell you something?  About when we first met?"

"Okay."

"I…wasn't in a great place that day.  I had been rejected again for mating rights- the same thing that had happened year after year after year.  I thought that I would never get to know what it was like; to be held, wanted, loved," he explained, stopping to press a tender kiss to your furrowed brow.  "And then, all of a sudden, there you were."

"There I was, thinking that a lobster man was drowning and making an absolute fool of myself," you snort, that memory summoning up a feeling of retrospective mortification that sometimes kept you awake at night.  

"No.  There you were, struggling to reach me- to save me.  I might not have actually been in trouble, but no one had ever fought so hard for me before, not once in my entire life.  Can you imagine how I felt then?  When you reached out to me and begged for me to take your hand?  When you promised you wouldn't ever let me go?"

You shook your head, the unforgiving loneliness Kirishima described too strange and foreign for you to truly understand.

"It felt like all of my dreams had come true," he grinned, his pale blue lips stretched wide into a dreamy smile.

"Oh, Eijiro," you sobbed, chest bursting with emotions you struggled to put names to; feelings that existed somewhere in the space between heartbreak and bliss.

"And you know what the most amazing thing was?  You kept fighting for me.  Over and over again, even when the opponent was yourself.  I thought for sure when we thought you were allergic to me that you would realize I wasn't worth the trouble and give up."

"But I didn't."

"No, you didn't," Eijiro whispered, disbelief and awe steeped into his words as he cradled your face adoringly between his chilled hands. "And now it's my turn.  Let me prove to you that I will always return, that I'll fight to be by your side for as long as you'll have me."

"Forever, then?"

"Forever," Kirishima readily agreed, sealing his oath with a kiss that lasted until you were both left shivering as the final rays of sun were swallowed by the horizon.

You had arranged for Gramps to spend the day with his friends down at the restaurant where they were celebrating the official end of the commercial fishing season.  As much as all the men claimed they wouldn't so much as touch a pole until the Game Warden declared the waters open for fishing next year, you knew you would catch them out on the lake in a few weeks time; sawing through the ice and vying for the best positions to park their fishing huts.  

You had begged off from the celebrations, citing a need for a break from caregiving and catch your breath.  The men organizing the event had understood completely, assuring you that they would keep a close watch on your Grandpa and get him home safely at the end of the night.  

There was an entire list of chores that needed to be done; scrubbing the burnt lasagna sauce from the bottom of the oven, crawling under the porch to shut off the water to the outside spigot before the first frost hit, making sure Gramps had enough meds to make it through the week- mundane things.  Important things.  Things that absolutely needed to get done.  

Instead, you rolled over and pulled your covers over your head, crying yourself quietly back to sleep instead.  

"Hey, Gramps?" You called out from your place at the stove, pushing a spatula half-heartedly through the powdered eggs congealing at the bottom of the pan.  "You gonna' do anything with the box on the table?  It's been sitting there a couple of days and I want to try and get the table cleaned off by dinner."

"What are you talking about?" Your Grandpa huffed, shuffling into the kitchen.  "I didn't get a package."

"Check the table," you encouraged gently, turning away so you wouldn't have to witness the pinch of confusion twisting across his face.    

"Oh, I- I guess I'd forgotten," he stammered, mind reeling for an explanation as he pulled out the packing slip, a shower of foam shipping peanuts spilling out across the tabletop. "Must have thought it was for you or something."

"Of course," you agreed, shutting off the burner and dumping the scrambled eggs into a shallow bowl.  "Here's breakfast if you want it."

"Yeah.  Yeah, thanks," he muttered as he squinted down at the packing list.  "Do you know why I ordered five bags of penis shaped pasta?"

You laughed, a sharp, surprised sound that was wholly inappropriate on such a quiet morning.  

"Can't say that I do.  But if It were me, I'd make some for dinner so the next time someone told me to go eat a bag of dicks I could say 'Oh, yeah?  I already have.'"

"Ha!" Your Grandpa wheezed, slapping his thigh heartily before digging one of the bags of pasta out of the box.  "That's a good one!"

"Don't act so surprised," you sniff haughtily, snagging the pasta from his hand and dropping it onto the counter.  "I am your granddaughter after all."

"That you are," he chuckled, spooning some of the eggs into his mouth while you rooted through the fridge.

"Do we have any hot dogs left?" You ask as you push a margarine container full of leftovers to the side. "I want to chop some up and add them to the pasta so we can really lean into the weenie linguini angle."

The boys from the dock were over today, crammed around the ancient TV in the living room on folding chairs they hauled around from house to house to accommodate their shifting hangout locations so no one person had to bear the burden of hosting every get together.  

You'd thought they would have some sort of preferred sports match to watch, a local football or hockey team perhaps; but apparently the group of them were too competitive to coexist peacefully during play-off season.  After a particular explosive brawl a decade or so ago, where everyone limped away with fat lips and bloody knuckles, they had sworn off sports spectatorship entirely for the sake of community harmony.  These days they spent their weekends tuned into dog shows, speculating on which pooches would place and cheering on their favorite breeds.  

"I don't get how this is any different than you all watching football or something," you huff, slamming a piece of bread down on top of the tuna sandwich you were assembling.  "Those dogs are still competing and you're all still picking sides."

"That's true," your Grandpa's best friend nodded, snagging a bag of pork rinds out of the pantry to carry back out to the living room along with his newly opened beer. "But the difference is that we really don't care which dogs actually win.  They're all good dogs who deserve to come in first, so there are no hard feelings when your favorite doesn't place."

"Can't argue with that logic, I suppose."

"Nope.  And believe me, we've tried!" He chortled, peering around the door frame to sneak a glance at Gramps; perched in his recliner and trying to follow the bouncing conversation with a distant gaze.  

"He's not doing well, is he?" His friend sniffed, doing his best to keep his emotions at bay by coughing into his fist.  

"No, he's not."

"Right.  Okay."

"It's not," you croaked, placing a gentle hand between his quaking shoulders, rubbing soothing circles and allowing him to have a quiet moment of grief while snippets of an argument over the low placement of a group favorite, a sad-faced St. Bernard, floated by.

It was bitterly cold out tonight.  You thought you had bundled up appropriately for the season, but it had quickly become evident the moment you stepped outside that you had missed the mark by a layer or five.  It wasn't enough of a deterrent for you to turn around though.  You needed to get out and fill your lungs with something besides the stale air of your house that was weighed down by the fragrance of your Grandfather's slow demise; thin broths and pain medicine, powdered shampoo and muscle creams.  

Body on auto-pilot, you wandered down to the beach, dropping down onto the frigid sand indelicately.  You stared out at the ocean for a while, lost in the memories of sunny days and Kirishima's sunnier smile.

"You better come back, Eijiro," you whispered, tears stinging sharply as they rolled down your cheeks in the frigid air. "I don't think I can handle losing both of you."

Gramps had passed quietly in the night during the deepest part of winter; when snow fell more often than not and you had to muscle the front door open from the frozen frame every morning.  It had taken the funeral home a long time to get to you with the icy condition of the roads, so you did your best to keep busy and await their arrival.  

You had thought that you could be strong and wait with your Grandpa when the time came, but now that the moment was here you found that you couldn't bear to stay in his room a moment longer than absolutely necessary.  His face was slack and unfamiliar, body empty of the essence that made Gramps uniquely him; the wise-cracking busybody with more jokes than sense.  

Ignoring the smell of cooling excrement that permeated the room, you kissed your Grandfather's forehead, tucked his blankets further up on his shoulders, and left the room.  You frittered time away with any distraction you could find, sifting through piles of junk mail and TV guides, straightening the doilies your Grandma had lovingly tatted and draped across every horizontal surface, and cut out coupons from the Sunday paper.  Each of those tasks stretched out by you anxiously pulling back the front window curtain every few minutes to check for the hearse's arrival.  

After an eternity of chipping ice off the freezer walls, you finally spied the hearse slowly rolling down the street, followed by a beat up sedan you knew belonged to your Grandpa's best friend.  He shot out of the car recklessly fast for someone with a bad hip on an icy sidewalk, but you didn't have it in you to chastise him.  

Not today.

"I'm so sorry," you apologized as you ran a shaking hand down your face in frustration, watching the people from the funeral home unload a gurney and toss a folded up body bag on top. "I should have called- I didn't, I don't-"

"Hush," your Grandpa's friend interrupted gruffly, pulling you into a tight hug that you didn't know you needed.  "You've had enough on your mind this morning.  Have you eaten?"

"I- no.  I went to ask Gramps what he wanted and I just never got around to it," you say, voice muffled by the downy coat your face was pressed into.  "I think I may have left the milk out."

"It's cold enough that I'm sure the milk is fine," he said, pulling back from the hug and pushing you inside with a firm hand on your shoulder while the funeral director and his assistant rolled the gurney towards the front steps.  "How about I meet with these gentlemen while you whip us up something real quick?  I'm not picky, so whatever you make'll be fine."

You were thankful in this moment for the way the entire town danced around emotionally charged situations, welcoming the distraction of preparing a meal over having to deal with well-meaning sympathies and feelings you weren't sure how to start processing.  

"I'll get some coffee going.  Come to the kitchen whenever you're ready."

"Will do."

"This is a good turn out," you cried, dabbing at your eyes with a handful of soggy tissues.

"Your Grandfather was a well liked man."

"I don't even recognize some of the people here," you admitted, squinting to the back row that was clogged with women in spectacularly styled church hats and hand-me-down pearls.

"That's the Ladies Auxiliary for the town up the coast.  They come to all the funerals around here."

"For fun?"

"No," your Grandpa's friend snorted.  "To make sure there's always someone here.  Not everyone is as popular as your Gramps is- was."

"Oh," you sob, overcome by their thoughtfulness.  "That's so nice."

"It is.  They're lovely gals."

Still crying, you peered down into the casket where Gramp's body lay; still and unsmiling for the first time in his life.  The funeral director had seemed a bit confused when you had handed him the bag of garments and accessories you had put together for your Grandfather to be buried in, but you were pleased to see he had executed your vision flawlessly.  

His only suit, a tasteful tweed affair you had seen him squeeze into for every family wedding since you were a kid, was accented by a novelty squirting flower pinned to his lapel and a motorized bow tie that spun wildly under his chin with a cheery whirring noise.  

"You don't think the novelty vampire teeth were too much?" 

"This is exactly what he would have wanted," his friend assures you, reaching into the casket and pushing down onto the rubber chicken stuffed into the crook of your Grandfather's arm; the resulting squawk easily heard over the din of the deep sniffles of a group of men who refused to outright cry and were all collectively experiencing an out of season allergy flare up.  

"Just wait until the eulogies.  I slipped a remote controlled fart machine into his pocket."

The town restaurant was unusually packed during breakfast the next day.  The booths that usually sat empty were all full of members of the Ladies Auxiliary, each woman primly sipping coffee and pointedly ignoring each other's deeply rumpled dresses and day-old makeup.  

"Do you have something you want to say?" The lady at the counter next to you bristled, apparently taking your curious glances as a sign of disapproval.

"Not at all," you rushed to explain, sliding a handful of bills across the counter to pay for your breakfast order.  "I'd be doing something similar if my boyfriend were around."

"Alright then," the woman said, shoulders deflating as the fight seeped from her body.  "My apologies."

"It's fine," you say, waving off her contrition as you contemplate a triangle of toast left untouched on your plate.  "Besides, I'm sure my Gramps would be thrilled that his funeral was directly responsible for his friends having such a memorable evening."

"Goodness!" The woman gasped.  "That was your Grandfather's funeral?  I feel even worse now!"

"It's fine!  Really!  I shouldn't have been staring.  I've just gotten used to the same grungy old men that seeing a group of lovely and well-dressed women caught me off guard."

"They are a bit rough around the edges," the woman agreed with a slight grimace, dabbing at the faded remains of her lipstick with the edge of a napkin.  

"No judgment here, sister.  Any port in a storm, ammirite?" 

She snorts inelegantly, the corner of her mouth quirked in delight as she unclasps the top of her practical clutch and pulls out a slightly wrinkled pamphlet for the Ladies Auxiliary that she slides across the counter towards you.

"Here's the brochure for our branch of the Auxiliary.  You should consider joining.  I think it'll do you good to spend some time away from these old curmudgeons and spend some time in a more…feminine atmosphere."

To perfectly punctuate her sales pitch, one of the men at the back of the diner let loose an astoundingly loud belch that immediately launched all the men into an explosive round of appreciative applause.

"One question: do I get to wear a fancy hat like you do?" You ask, staring at the artfully arranged tower of tulle and feathers piled atop her head.

"Of course.  What's even the point, otherwise?"

"Count me in."

The weeks ticked by slowly as you grew accustomed to living by yourself and figuring out what constituted your new normal.  The activities that had defined your existence at the beginning of your stay, spending time with Eijiro and caring for Gramps, were both suddenly and dramatically stricken from your schedule and you struggled to fill your days because of it.  

Perhaps sensing your ennui, the town council; which was composed entirely of the two brothers who also ran the post office, elected to put you in charge of using the snowblower to clear off the sidewalks on mainstreet and the walkways of anyone who called and asked you for assistance.  It kept you busy most mornings, and you were glad for the distraction.  

The rest of your time was spent getting Gramp's affairs put in order; contacting banks and sending copies of his death certificate to Governmental agencies you'd never heard of before.  When you had a moment to spare you would pick a room in the house and start organizing, carefully packing away bits of family history and discarding numerous shoe boxes stuffed full of faded sales receipts and old batteries.

Gramps friends and neighbors, sadly well-versed in estate cleaning, would often swing by to assist you in lifting heavier objects and driving truck beds full of garbage out to the dump.  You were currently glued to your laptop, scanning in old family photos for posterity and considering how much of a bother it would be to put a digital album together when a hand clapped down firmly onto your shoulder, wrenching a startled yelp out from the depths of your soul.

"Sorry!" Your Grandpa's friend winced, removing his hand from your shoulder and taking a step away from your person.  "Didn't realize I was sneaking up on ya'."

"It's okay," you gasp, heart still hammering in your chest.  "I was pretty distracted."

A picture from your Grandparents' honeymoon had just popped up on the screen.  With little money and even less time to spare, they had spent a weekend driving up and down the coast, stopping and eating at every pancake restaurant they could find.  They'd rated their meals at every location, their food selections identical for the sake of consistency, in a tiny notebook you'd found stashed away in Gramp's desk.  

"Good gracious- look at how young he was."

"I know."

"Such a goofy looking fella'," he noted, pulling out the chair next to you.  "Good thing you take after your Grandma."

"The small mercies of the universe," you agree, loading up a new picture into the scanner.  

He flips through the box of loose photos, pausing every now and then to closely examine a picture of him or the boys around town.

"You don't have to stay, you know," he murmured gruffly as he lifted a delicate sepia tinted photo up by the edges. "You've been helping out a lot this year and while we're grateful for all you've done, we'll get along just fine without you.  We always have."

It was kind of him, to give you an out; to not mention the handfuls of people who had left town this year, either in a body bag or shoved into the dedicated minivan from the local retirement home.  The townsfolk had gotten by in the past because they were numerous and young.  Now they were few and old and struggling to make it through each year.  You leaving would likely be the domino that would send the town toppling into ruin with no one around to push a mower without getting winded or shuffle up onto a roof to repair a leak without vertigo setting in.  

"This life…isn't what I ever imagined for myself," you admit, mind churning with thoughts of Eijiro as you swap out photos in the scanner once more. "But that doesn't mean I'm unhappy here.  I'm just happy in a way I didn't expect."

"You like us old coots that much, eh?" He chuckled, tossing the photo back into the box and turning his attention to a stack of your Grandfather's ledgers.  

"Please," you scoffed.  "I'm only staying because I just sent a check up to the Ladies Auxiliary and I know for a fact that there's no way they'll refund me that membership fee.  Their treasurer is feisty."

As soon as the barometer rose above freezing the town sprung into action, ripping tarps off of boats, changing out oil, and checking coolant levels.  It was still far too cold for leaves and blossoms to emerge, but the return of the ships to harbor did more to lift your spirits than a field of flowers ever could.  Those boats were a true and indelible sign that spring was on its way.  

"What are you smiling about?" One of the dockworkers called down to you from where he was grinding down a rusty patch on the cabin wall with a belt sander.  "If you have time to be happy you must not have enough to do!"

"No, no!  I'm very busy here," you assured him, smearing a large glob of wax across the hull.  "I'm just excited that it's almost lobster season again."

"Again with all the lobster talk?  All winter it's been lobster this and lobster that!"

"Well, can you blame me?  I think I've spent enough of my life without lobster at this point."

"Fair enough!" The worker laughed, a dry bray that sounded enough like a donkey that it always made you smile.  "What are you looking forward to the most?  Steamed lobster? Lobster rolls?"

"I'm looking forward to getting me some of that sweet, sweet lobster tail," you giggled to yourself, kicking on the electric buffer to drown out the sounds of chit-chat and swearing, drifting off in a sea of titillating memories you hoped you'd be able to recreate soon.  

You were refreshing the paint on a red and yellow striped buoy, hands and arms splotched with an entire rainbow of colors from your work, when the Dockmaster approached the section of overturned crates you had turned into your maritime arts and crafts station.

"You're not completely incompetent."

"Thank you, Sir," you said, setting down your brush to rest across the top of a small bucket of paint.  

"Clean up here and come to my office.  I've got something for you."

That something turned out to be a set of keys that you had barely managed to catch by the neon orange key float as the Dockmaster chucked them at your head. 

"Those'r the keys to your new boat.  Congratulations.  Don't fuck up," he grunted, snuffing his cigarette out in an overflowing ashtray.  "Now get out of my office."

You stumbled out of the smoky room, keys clutched in your hands as you slumped down into a sagging lawn chair the Dockmaster kept outside for his smoke breaks on warmer days when the air in his office became too stifling.

"You okay?" One of the passing fishermen asked, hefting a large coil of rope further up his shoulder.  "Dockmaster wasn't too mean to ya', was he?"

"No- he, uh.  He gave me a boat?" 

"Ha!  Did he really?" The fisherman laughed.  "Guess you're really one of us now!"

"But I don't even know how to drive a boat!" You screeched, panic quickly replacing the buzzing numbness that had filled you only moments before.  

"It's not that hard.  Me and the boys will go with you when you take your boat for a spin and show you the ropes."

"That'll be great.  Thanks."

It was, in fact, not great.  

While the fishermen were correct that driving a boat was technically easy, every other aspect of handling a boat fell somewhere along the spectrum between frustrating and absolute madness.  Your docking skills were so abysmal that the fishermen had ended up lashing tires around the entire hull, effectively turning your ship into the maritime version of a bumper car.  

But the absolute worst part of the entire experience turned out to be the name of your vessel.  

"I'm changing the name," you declared boldly once you and your group of tagalong fishermen had matched the numbers on your keychain to the blocky boat ID numbers printed on the forward half of the ship.  

"Oh, come on!" One of the men laughed, doubled over and wheezing for breath at your expense.  "You're the perfect choice to captain 'The Nauti Girl!'" 

Just saying the name outloud was enough to send the men into a cackling uproar once again.  One man with a bushy Santa beard was having a hard enough time regaining his composure that he gave up entirely and laid down on the dock, rolling around on the warped planks as he fought to catch his breath.  

"Nope.  I refuse.  This boat is going to have a nice and respectable name.  Like 'Sea Breeze' or 'Wave Breaker'," you huffed.  "Something I won't be embarrassed to call out over the radio."

"Boooring!" The loudest fisherman protested.  "Besides, it's bad luck to change the name of a ship."

"Of course it is," you mutter disgruntledly.

"Also," the man continued. "If you changed the name then you'd have to get rid of this lovely lady!" He said while gesturing to the cute, pinup style mermaid in a sailor's hat perched next to your boat's sprawling cursive name.  

You cross your arms across your chest, thoughtfully staring at the teal haired mermaid holding an anchor at just the right angle to obscure her nipples and keep things family-friendly.  

"Okay, fine.  But if I can't name the boat I get to name the mermaid," you grumbled, throwing your leg high to make it over the coaming and step down onto the deck; turning back to face the men in the dock when you realized they hadn't followed you onto the boat.

"Permission to come aboard, Captain?" The man with the Santa beard asked, his cheeks still burning red from his fit of hysterics moments ago.

"Permission granted," you grinned in return.  "I need you gentlemen to show me just what this 'Nauti Girl' is capable of!"

As the greenest fisher at the dock, the men had been gradually easing you into performing more difficult tasks while you grew accustomed to piloting your boat.  So far you had mostly been sent out to return forgotten items or lunches to boats that had disembarked earlier in the day, but just a few days ago the Dockmaster had started sending you out to check on the farthest flung lobster cages to see if the crustaceans were starting to make it back to the coastline.  

The first few had come up empty, so you made a note of their locations and double checked that they were firmly attached to their buoys before chucking them back into the water.  Pulling up on the next end line, you were surprised to feel some resistance.  The other cages had come up relatively easily, so maybe this pot actually had something trapped inside?

Bracing your legs, you tightened your grip onto the rope and gave a mighty tug, drawing the rope up and over the edge of your boat.  Ever so slowly, you drew the sodden rope up from the water, peering over the edge to see what could possibly be weighing down the line so much.  Your questions were answered when, with one final pull and a forceful grunt, the grinning face of Eijiro dramatically rose out of the water.  

"Would you look at that," you laughed, happy tears rolling down your cheeks as you reached down towards your boyfriend. "The first lobster of the season."

"And from the way you tell it, I'm quite the catch," Kirishima winked playfully as he grasped the side of your boat and pulled himself up to be face-to-face with you.  

"I missed you, Eijiro.  So, so much," you cried, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as tightly as you could, which you knew was a fair bit snugger than you could manage the last time you saw him thanks to countless hours of unpaid manual labor.  

"I missed you too, Minnow," Eijiro said, his voice shaky as he nuzzled into your shoulder and deeply inhaled the scent of your skin.  You had envisioned your reunion a thousand times over the last few months, but all of those scenarios paled in the face of the actual experience of being cradled in Eijiro's arms once more.  Even the uncomfortable feeling of the side of the boat digging into your belly couldn't take away from the thrum of utter contentment unfurling in your soul.  

"Nauti Girl, come in Nauti Girl.  Nauti Girl, do you read me? Over." The radio on your boat screamed as it crackled to life.  

"Really?" You groan. "They had to call right now?"

"Wait- why is that man calling you 'Naughty Girl'?" Kirishima asked, brow furrowed in confusion.

"Ugh!" You huff, pressing a quick to Eijiro's lips as you unwillingly work to free yourself from the tangle of his limbs.  "He isn't calling me that, it's the name of my boat."

"You named your boat Naughty Girl?"

"I would never!  It already came with a name-"

"Nauti Girl?  Pick up!  Over!"

"I'm coming!  Hold your horses!" You yell ineffectually at the radio, knowing that they won't hear you until you hold down the button to answer.  "Just- hold on one second, okay?"

You practically fly across the deck, slamming your hand down on the call button.  "Nauti Girl, here.  Go ahead.  Over."

"There was a small accident and we're short a set of hands to get the last boat launched.  Requesting you return to harbor to assist.  Over."

Hissing in frustration, you send a pleading look to where Eijiro is draped across the coaming, watching you with an utterly dejected look settling across his face.

"You need to go, don't you?" He murmured sadly.  

"I do.  They can't do it without me."

"I understand," Eijiro sighed, ruffling his hair in frustration and sending tiny droplets of water spraying across the deck.  "Sometimes you have to help others at the expense of yourself."

"Yeah," you sighed, pressing the button down once more.  "Roger that.  I'll finish up here and head back ASAP.  Over and out."

You hook the receiver back into place and rush again to Eijiro, cradling his jaw in your hands as you press tender kisses across his face.  He closed his eyes and sighed happily, basking in the glow of your loving attention.  

"I need to head back in.  But let's meet tonight at the cave up shore.  I'll bring some blankets and snacks and we can spend all night together, okay?"

"Okay," he nods with a soft smile, eyes sparking as his hand drifts down to pat at the top of a tightly woven seagrass basket tied around his hips.  "And I'll show you the surprise I brought."

"You got me something?" You gasp in delight, peering further over the edge of the boat to examine the closed lid basket more closely.  

"Technically, I got us something," he laughed nervously, glancing down at the basket with a fond smile.  "I hope you'll love it as much as I do."

The accident back at dock was thankfully minor; someone had gotten their hand smashed between two crates and while they hadn't broken any bones, Doc had them on lockdown in his living room to make sure they were actually keeping their hand iced and elevated.  Doc's concern was well placed because it wasn't unusual for the townsfolk to nod along to his instructions and then conduct themselves as though they were the poster children for medical noncompliance.  

With everyone pitching in you were able to get the last boat launched with no real issues and then spent the remainder of the afternoon anxiously watching the sun dip lower on the horizon as you replaced missing weights on casting nets.  Once it became too difficult to see what your hands were doing in the fading light, the men called it for the day and you had to endure the Herculean task of trying to casually walk home.  You wanted to take off at a sprint to rendezvous with Eijiro as quickly as you could, but knew that running through town would draw unwanted scrutiny from the townsfolk.  Going out onto the ocean alone at night was foolhardy and dangerous, and if you were caught heading out you knew that you would be hauled back in and given a stern talking to about your reckless behavior.  

So you played it cool, stopping to chat to folks heading down to the diner, dropping into the corner store to grab some granola bars and a couple bags of chips, and slowly made your way home the same as you would every night.  But you were off and running as soon as the porch door slammed shut behind you, tearing across the house and throwing things into a large duffle bag as quickly as you could manage before shoving slices of deli meat and handfuls of shredded cheese into your mouth in lieu of an actual meal as you waited for the last bit of daylight to evaporate into inky darkness.  

Once the bright pinpricks of stars were the only lights remaining in the sky you made your escape, sliding outside through the kitchen door that faced the ocean and creeping quietly down to the beach, stopping only to grab your inflatable raft you kept under the back deck.  Slipping on a life vest, you tossed your bag into your raft and waded out into the shallows, jumping aboard and pushing yourself away from the shore with alternating pushes of your paddle against the sandy ocean floor.  

"Just a little longer, Eiji," you whispered quietly into the night.  "I'm on my way."

Kirishima was already at the cave when you arrived, paddling nervously around in circles while singing, the strange clicks layering into a haunting sort of lullaby; like crickets chirping late in the night.  His song cut off as he caught sight of you, darting to you and grabbing a hold of your raft's tow rope and pulling you to the rocky cave shore as he'd done so many times before.

"Decided to leave the Naughty Girl at home, huh?" He teased, patting a hand onto the side of your trusty raft as you hopped out and pulled it further onto the shore to keep the shifting tide from grabbing it while you weren't paying attention.

"What are you talking about?  I'm right here!" You winked back playfully as you unzipped your duffle bag and worked at spreading the large quilt down over the sand.  

"Of course," he laughed, watching with fond eyes as you settled into the middle of the blanket. "My mistake."

"I can probably be persuaded to forgive you," you purred, patting the blanket as you beckoned for Kirishima to come and join you on shore.  His eyes followed the curves of your legs up as he swallowed thickly, hands darting to the basket at his hip.

"Okay, so, before we go any further I have something I need to show you," he confesses, untying the complicated knots that kept the basket lashed around his hips.  "You have to come here.  It doesn't- the basket has to stay in the water for now."

"Alright," you agreed readily, concerned for the abrupt mood shift Eijiro was displaying.  Cautiously, you made your way down to the water and stepped into the shallows, joining your boyfriend in the chest-deep water.

"Before I open this, I want to remind you about how much I love you.  I understand if this is too much and I'm sorry I made such a big decision without you, but I had to do something," Eijiro said, his words rushed and squished together with worry as he carefully pried open the lid of the basket and pushed it into your awaiting arms.

You peer down into the basket, stuffed full of slimy ribbons of kelp and dotted with tiny slivers of fish bones.  Confused, you were about to ask Kirishima about what exactly you were supposed to be looking at when a passing wave shifted a tangle of the kelp and revealed a downy tuft of bright red hair.  Breathlessly, you reached into the basket and brushed aside another clump of seaweed, uncovering the tiny curled up half-lobster baby within.  

"Eijiro," you whisper, trying to keep your voice level so you wouldn't disturb the sleeping child. "Did you steal a baby?"

"What? No!" Kirishima rushes to assure you, his smooth hands sliding to cover yours as you cradle the basket.  "It was a really successful hatching season.  We hadn't had so many hatchlings survive in, well, ever.  And we were struggling to keep them all fed and safe, but it was just too overwhelming."

"This little one was really struggling.  They wouldn't eat on their own and couldn't keep up with their siblings," Eijiro murmured sadly, letting loose a couple of comforting clicks as he ran a gentle finger through their fluttering hair.  "Their mother couldn't give them the attention they needed without her other children suffering, so she culled them from her nest."

"That's awful," you whispered, hand dipping into the basket beside Eijiro's to gently stroke the little one's pale and pudgy cheek.

"It is," he agreed.  "But necessary.  She couldn't risk the health of her other children for just one."

It was quiet for a while as you both peered down at the sleeping child as they shifted, curling their tail  around their head and rolling up into a ball about the size of an orange.  

"They're so small."

"The runt of their pod.  Just like me," Eijiro sniffed, a distant and miserable look in his eyes.  "It could have been me.  If my hatching year had been more successful, it would have been me pushed out and left to die."

"Oh, Eijiro," you sob; angry at the cruelty and unfairness of nature that had hurt the man you loved so deeply.  

"I just couldn't leave them.  Not if I could help."

"Of course you couldn't.  You did the right thing."

"You aren't upset?" Kirishima asked, thin threads of hope threading through the misery woven into his voice. 

"Oh, I am.  But not at you.  And not at them," you said as you ran a finger down the slick, unhardened chitin of their tiny tail.  

"Oh, Spirits be praised," he sighed, shoulders deeply sagging as relief flooded his body.  "I was hoping it would be okay since it was just one.  You told me one baby was normal for humans."

"You could have brought me a hundred babies and it still would have been fine," you assured him, smiling gently when the child sneezed, letting loose a burst of tiny bubbles from their mouth.

"I don't think we could handle a hundred babies," Eijiro chuckled, pulling you into his embrace, the basket sheltered between your entwined bodies. 

"Probably not," you agree, dropping your head down to rest on Eijiro's chest as you gazed down at your new baby in awe.  "But I think we can handle one."

"Yeah," Eijiro sighed happily, tightening his grip around you and the baby; his entire world, his family, cradled safely in his arms. "We can handle one." 

Your life was one of feast and famine.  The time spent with Eijiro and your child filled your heart and soul with so much joy that you often wondered how your body was able to contain it all without bursting at the seams.  Conversely, the long winter months served as a stark lesson in misery and longing as you anxiously awaited the arrival of spring and the migration of your small family back into your life.

To ease the anxious worries of your heart, Eijiro agreed to wear a tracking tag woven into a band on his wrist.  Each night you were bathed in the glow of your laptop screen, lulled to sleep by Eijiro drawing intricate patterns across the screen with his movements; wordless proclamations of love that only you could see.  

Your child, who you had discerned to be a girl once her swimmerets had developed enough to tell one way or the other, eventually appeared next to her father on the map; her bright dot carving out wobbly paths that mirrored Eijiro's smooth trails through the water. 

The townsfolk had noticed the intense depression you fell into during winter and did their best to keep you in good spirits.  The fishermen who taught you how to handle the Nauti Girl met you for dinner three nights a week, The Dockmaster taught you the actual rules to Backgammon and confirmed your long held suspicions that your Grandfather was a dirty rotten cheater, and the ladies at the Auxiliary pooled their money together to buy you one of those sun therapy lamps.  You weren't sure of the lamp's actual efficacy, but looking at it made you feel cared for and loved, so you kept it propped up in the corner of your living room anyway.

The longer you stayed in the dilapidated town you had grown to call home the more heartbreak you were subjected to.  Inevitably, the people you loved and lived with, relaxed and toiled beside, grew measurably older with each passing year until they very suddenly stopped- stopped aging, stopped breathing, stopped living.

The men assured you time and time again over coffee, returning from vacations, on their deathbeds; that they had no regrets.  That their lives were difficult, but wonderful.  The hands blistered and their joints were ground to dust from decades of thankless labor; but their eyes witnessed the boundless beauty that nature had to offer and they had the extreme privilege of knowing true acceptance and affection from their chosen family; their neighbors, brothers, and friends.  

That's what they wished for you to find as well; a devastatingly beautiful life full of misery and ecstasy and everything in-between.  And as you watched two heads of bright red hair breach the surface of the water, speeding towards your boat and a long-awaited reunion, you were fairly sure you already had.

[l3visthighs]

OC in 10: Ilyana Hoover

Rules: share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

Thank you for the tag @topaz-carbuncle I don't have much for Ilyana at the moment so I'm going to keep it at ten. But here's a few pieces of dialogue from an enemies to lovers actor au that's been on the back burner for a bit.

1) “What the hell, you’re actually a genius.” Ilyana opens her laptop and starts typing “Levi Ackerman” in the google search bar. The first thing the girls notice when the search results come back is a movie poster starring Erwin Smith as the main role. “Hold up. I’ve never seen this before. Is it possible this is where they met?” She proceeds to click on the cast list and only has to scroll down a tad before she sees his name. “Levi Ackerman as the assassin. Well, I guess we’ve solved the mystery.”

2) It takes her a few moments to register his response; taken aback once again by his attitude towards her. “Wow, so I work up the courage to come all the way up here, to apologize to your rude ass so things don’t necessarily have to be awkward between us for the next ten months and you still insist on being a complete douchebag?”

3)"Okay, no, Ilyana. The next time you see him you’re going to be civil. Swallow your pride and try to smooth things out so it won’t be awkward between us.” Her inner monologue interrupted by the sound of her cell phone ringing on her nightstand. She reaches over to grab it and sees a picture of her best friend light up the screen. “This bitch.”

4) “Oh fuck off, Levi.” She snapped, attempting to stand back up from her recent failure. “I’m going to keep falling on my “shitty” ass just to force you to have to spend extra time with me today. So, buckle up”

5) “Why does it feel like I’ve just joined the circus?”

6) “Wow, you’re charming. I bet you’re really popular with the ladies with that attitude aren’t you?” Ilyana snaps “After you, grumpy.” She moves to the side to let him pass.

7) Ilyanas face wrinkles in disgust “Ugh, please don’t ever call that man a snack ever again"

8) “Stop being ridiculous” Ilyana resumes the video “Im not going to deny he has a nice body, but a nice body doesn’t make up for a sour attitude.”

9) Ilyanas mind goes completely blank. She can feel her heart pounding in her chest. “What’s my next line? Wait, what’s going on? This isn’t in the script” she thinks to herself

10) She finds herself immensely annoyed by him but chooses to apologize anyways. “I’m sorry. I was distracted by something and apparently didn’t hear you coming. Are you apart of the cast, too? I’m Ilyana”

tagging: @leviscxmkitten @levi-ackermvn @jayteacups (& anyone else who has an OC & wants to participate?)

[afi-writes]

Of All the Women He Could Have

Pairing: Ikki x MC

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: The heroine spends the girls ’evening with Sawa and Mine when she gets a call from Ikki, who is home alone.

Written for @cresu 💙♠︎

"So, how is it like?" Mine asks, staring at me over her glass. She sits cross-legged on a pillow in her pajamas.

Sawa, browsing on her phone, looks up and glances at the two of us in turn. My hands shake and I hurriedly put the glass I am holding down on the table.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, senpai," Mine replies, her lips curving into a smile as a dangerous gleam comes into her eyes. "Sex with Ikki. I never got my turn, so I at least want to know the facts."

Heat races up my neck to my cheeks in a second, and my heart leaps to pound in my throat. I squeeze the pillow under me and wonder how I can avoid answering. It has been two weeks since Ikki said he would seduce me into his bed in a month, but I have not given in yet. What if he does not like me? He has so much more experience, and I certainly do not know how to please him. There are other women who... know what kind of things Ikki likes.

But I cannot say that to Mine and Sawa. I just cannot!

"Mine, that's a totally inappropriate question," says Sawa.

"There's nothing wrong with a little sharing..."

"You can't just ask people that."

Sawa and Mine's argument continues but does not quite reach my ears. Mine's question keeps rolling around in my mind and leaves a warm feeling in my stomach. I would not like to think about it so much but on the other hand I cannot help thinking about it.

"Senpai, your phone is ringing."

Mine's words penetrate my thoughts, and I realize she is right. My gaze glues itself to the name flickering on the screen.

Ikki.

Why is Ikki calling me?

"Aren't you going to answer?" Sawa asks.

I slip the phone into my hand and glance around.

"You can go talk on the balcony," Sawa continues, already handing me a jacket, which I grab.

I slip out, wrap myself in the jacket and finally press the icon for the answering. It is amazing how long Ikki kept on calling. I would probably have given up by now. The autumn air tingles my cheeks as I lean against the wall and lift the phone to my ear.

"You answered."

His voice is as soft as ever, but with a heavier tone than usual. It falls right into my stomach, which starts to tingle.

"I'm sorry. I was talking to Sawa and Mine," I say. "Weren't you supposed to spend tonight with Kent?"

"He left a while ago..."

I smile in response. I can picture in my mind how Ikki and Kent have been joking with each other all evening, and maybe Kent brought Ikki a new math puzzle to solve. I am sure they had a great time.

"Listen..." Ikki breathes into the phone. "I'd love to have you home..."

"I... I can leave. I'm sure Sawa and Mine will understand."

"No... Don't. I can't promise you now that you'll be safe if you come home..."

"Have you been drinking, Ikki?"

A deep sigh brushes my ear and raises my skin hairs. I recognize that voice. I thought Ikki had already let go of the ghosts of his past. I forgave him for his rude behavior, and he put his fan club in check. There is nothing to be upset about now, but...

"We had a few with Kent. Now that I'm alone, I miss you so much I almost cannot breathe."

I chew my bottom lip and lift my gaze to the dark night sky. I would make the last train if I left now. On the other hand, I have promised a girls' night to Sawa and Mine, because the next opportunity probably will not come for anytime soon, due to the pressures of studying and work. I have been so wrapped up in my own affairs lately that I have not given my friends enough of my time.

"I just wanted to hear your voice," Ikki continues. "Talk about something, anything."

"Mine asked how it is like with you..."

I slap a hand over my mouth as soon as I have blurted out the first thought that came to mind. Why? Why did I say that to Ikki? His laugh makes my knees buckle. If I have been able to resist his eyes before, I could not help the pull of his heavy voice.

"What did you answer?"

"I didn't."

"Why not?"

"You know why."

Another chuckle, and I hear a rustle in the background. The same kind of rustle I have heard a few nights, when Ikki have been rolling over on his own futon next to me.

"Didn't you want to reveal to Mine that I still haven't succeeded in my goal? That I still haven't managed to seduce my princess into my bed?"

I do not know what to say. My cheeks are getting hot again, despite the cool night.

"You know it's only a matter of time, right? Maybe tomorrow I'll succeed..."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes. When you get home, I'll kiss you immediately. I'll take off your jacket and press you against the hallway wall. I'll keep kissing you until your lips are turning sensitive..."

I press myself tighter against the balcony wall and cannot help the breath that escapes my lips.

"Ikki, that's... a little..."

"Next, I'll kiss your neck. I run my lips along the skin and catch your earlobe between them. I might even nibble a little..."

Ikki has clearly had too much to drink. He is not usually quite so outspoken. But I can imagine everything he says. He has kissed my neck before. Lightly and gently. Finally, he licked me and made me whine.

"You know I won't do anything you don't really want. But you do want me to take off every piece of your clothing in that hallway... Undo the buttons of your dress and drain it off your shoulders, let it fall to your ankles. And when you're in front of me in your underwear, I'll kiss your belly button..."

"Ikki..."

"Yes...?"

"Sawa and Mine are waiting for me back inside."

"Don't you want to know what happens next?"

I swallow and cannot answer. My cheeks are on fire, I am on fire all over.

"I think you want..."

Still the words are a mere whisper, but they still make my skin crawl. I press my free hand against the cold wall and try to calm my heart, pounding against my chest.

"I kiss your belly as I gently pull down your pantyhose. Once I've taken them off, I scoop you into my arms and carry you to the bed. I'd like to do it right now, if only you were here..."

The last word brushes against my ear in a sigh. There is a hot, vaguely shaped lump in my lower abdomen, spreading lower. My breathing sounds as heavy to my own ears as Ikki's sighs.

"We can spend all night tomorrow when you get home. We're in no hurry to go anywhere. I'll go just as slowly as you wish..."

Ikki's voice swims in my ears and makes my knees go limp. I go down along the wall onto the balcony floor. I am burning from places I usually avoid thinking about. Ikki evokes feelings in me that are so obscene I dare not think of words for them. I want everything he offers me, but... what if he disappoints? I do not know anything. I do not know what to do.

"Ikki, I..."

"You want me, don't you...?"

I swallow as Ikki's words make my breath catch in my throat. My own heartbeat almost drowns out his voice as it pounds in my ears.

"I need to hear it. I'll wait, but I need to..."

"I..." I swallow twice. My cheeks are burning hot. Is it even okay to say something like that? But Ikki wants to hear me say it. It is important to him. "I... want... you."

I am sure I cannot breathe.

And at the same moment, the balcony door slides open. Sawa appears at the door and stares directly at me.

"Are you okay?"

"Ikki, I really have to go," I say at the same time as I nod to Sawa and try to get up off the floor.

"I'll wait for you at home tomorrow," Ikki whispers in my ear. "I love you and I want to make love to you in a way you can't imagine anything better."

The heat rushes to my ears as I hang up the phone. Sawa's eyebrows furrow, and she grabs my hand to push me to my shaking feet. The words still echo in my ears as I step back inside under the curious gaze of Mine and Sawa.

Ikki wants to make love to me. Of all the women he could have, he wants to make love to me.

If you like my work, consider reblogging it. That helps more people to find it. Don't feel obliged though. Only do it if you want to, but I do appreciate the gesture.

[ros3ybabe]

August 16th, 2023 Mini Update 🎀

Guess who ended up sick on her first day of classes? Me!!

I remember thinking last week how it would not be fun to get sick when school starts, and on my first day of classes, I wake up with a super sore throat, a mild headache, slight dizziness, fatigue, and just overall feeling like trash. It's either a cold or my yearly bout of tonsillitis. I get tonsillitis every year at least once, and it's been that way for 8 years so far.

I did make it through the day, tho! Went to my first two classes of the semester, and I am pretty optimistic! Luckily, I don't have classes tomorrow, but I do have some appointments, so I'm going to wear my mask all day, as I do not want to risk getting anyone else sick. I'm still going to my nail appointment. I feel like it's the least I deserve right now.

(The picture of nails I included is what I changed my mind to for tomorrow, I feel like almond nails will be a cute change from my usual coffin style and might be easier to work with at my job)

I also found out I'll get to see my boyfriend in the next month and a half (we've been long distance 1000+ miles since early July), and I am so excited about that. Hopefully, it'll be a 4-5 day stay, so I can spend some quality time with him.

I want to sleep and recover as much as possible but I also have a decent amount of homework/quizzes/notes/textbook reading to accomplish by Sunday, and since I work Friday thru Sunday, I know I'm going to have to buckle down and be productive as much as I can. Hot tea with honey, chicken noodle soup, and vitamin C are going to be my best friends these next few days while I recover!

This is really not how I wanted to start my semester, but things will get better, I will still succeed, and I will still stay on top of assignments, attendance, and my work ethic overall. One bump in the road doesn't mean I should come to a complete stop! I have high hopes and high expectations and I truly believe in myself.

Also, I managed to complete a 10 min abs pilates workout (despite knowing I didn't feel too great, silly me) and still did skincare, makeup, and working in my planner this morning. I've also completed several assignments and started notes for one of my online classes, so today was not a complete bummer.

Let's hope that I can return to proper health sooner rather than later, and that it doesn't affect my sleep too much!

Thats all for this update!

Til next time, my lovelies!! 🩷

[s-che]

magician, hermit, devil!

The Magician — What design skills are you best at? OR What skill have you been working on lately?

I've been writing a lot of short (d6) random charts lately, for a game which I haven't talked much about but which is going to involve a lot of d6 random charts. It's an interesting practice — really knuckling down and making every item on the list worth choosing has taken some time and a lot of thought. It really helps to be willing to cut mercilessly — even to cut lists altogether, when you don't have enough interesting things to fill them with — which I haven't historically been the best about. I'm a pretty rhythmic writer, so I often find myself slipping into the trap of leaving things in that aren't good just because they fill out a form / shape / meter — I'm working on learning to say no to all but the best ideas, instead.

The Hermit — What are the biggest lessons you’ve learned about game design? OR Are you interested in collaborating with others?

I'm absolutely fucking interested in collaborating with others. Collaborative creative work is the greatest thing on earth. I'm in grad school (MA) right now and I've also got three jobs, and I'm also putting together my applications for the my next program (PhD) on top of that — all of that is extremely self-directed and self-motivated labor, and I would love nothing more than meaningful work that I actually get to do in live conversation with other people.

All that to say — Hire me to work on your shit.

The Devil — What motifs or mechanics do you just keep coming back to? OR What is a game you’ve enjoyed playing in the last year?

I've been trying to write something about Changelings for maybe three years at this point and I finally buckled down and started something today that I think (think) I'll actually be able to pull together into a full project. I like to tell myself it's all practice, whether I finish it or not... But I would also really appreciate getting things together into a form I can actually share with people. In terms of mechanics, I spend a lot of time with playing cards in my games but I REALLY want to find something with a nice dice pool in it. The thing I mentioned with the d6 charts has them, and a game I want to write about gay farmhands will probably end up having them, and (segue to also get in an answer to the question) I played Last Train to Bremen a few months back which uses Liar's Dice — a perfect mechanic, imo. Dice are just so much fun. Rolling a lot of them all at the same time rules. I want to write a game that feels like the last five minutes of a really good Fiasco session.

[zenny-z]

There's an output in the view of course and that is to self adhere yourself to himself Terms & Conditions I have selected a forum that's offered you but by and following it all times no excuses if ends but procrastinating reason why not you are all in normal outs I'll learn to think like a white there is no shit to break here no wish question is no being bothered if like a woman you know being bothered to feel good the next moment choose a side as to put it lovely of all of an absolute zero tolerance policy with teenager like an inquiry on the internet good Chrome I earn to, and that car managed by karma what comes around and what comes around and what comes around goes around therefore I eagerly wait your replyIt's for peanut gallery or a basic case to be sending somewhere around behind me in the background while I can't motion therapy to the right press a potato and blessing me your hole will not close keep your hole close at all times minute you shall avoid any open instincts and initial opinion stands and I'm unsure what an opening will continue to stand now and when I'm after it on it's to perceive of return to no real George mine is the dominant one here yours is the resource as if on closer hall second of all you can't do in that you can't be lucky and posts you can't bear postponed posts you cannot be a repost at posts and you definitely cannot be in your midnight city or in himbler you also surely's health can't be calling me or spending out until bullshit there are but aught air or blasphemy on any content it is me mine she's doing to dreaminglyWhile the behavior is somebody say what I said but he said when he said it when he said it when I said it when I said it how we said it how I said it how I said it how I said it how are you sent it at the exact time some set it a buckle down dew with a gazed wit at a leasaple's that

The person I am speaking with will not allow for my first post it as something is missing and the latter is a story to be a golden retriever for the task to get to me to get to work on the ground I am I am fully qualified to be a golden retriever for the task and how to use it was written in a month or so I have been imprisoned to get all the money back to his account so he thinks he will be like the first one so he thinks that he is will not possible for us but I want to go to the exact penny for a while and we will have a few more to look after and we'll probably have to attend the event on Friday and Sunday at first law and kid are on holiday at first law and kid are coming out with his passion and the latter one of the house is the reason I have been imprisoned the same time to the exact penny and I mean the only thing that would have to attend the first time that we have to attend the course on Friday as I would be enough money for the task and the latter will not work sent to me to be a golden retriever for the task I sent to you on Friday night so I will sell the item in a daze bag for a few hours before I get it was written in a couple more weeks ago so it should have.

[thisapplepielife]

Monthly Word Count Wrap-Up

February 2024

Another month is already gone this year, like, what? How!? 🤯

That said, here's February's breakdown of where I spent my time writing:

I worked on 6 different fics this month, for a total of 24,081 words. My word goal is 500 words per day, and I've continued to hit that mark. Even if on some busy days, I was definitely banging away late at night just to get those words in before bed. 🥴

All Across the Universe (yes, it really did have a title, haha! So does "Steddie Coded" and "...Elvis") took up the biggest chunk for the month, by a long shot. It was my 2023 NaNo fic and I really buckled down this month to get it ready to start posting. Of course, I still like to add and tweak, and I guarantee there'll be more words added to it, even as I say, "I'm done," lol. What I really mean is, I could post this, as is. But, I won't, because I'll keep tinkering around, adding, deleting, changing, until the moment I hit post, lol. That's just the way I roll.

The fact that I added over 19K to it this month, really pushed me into the "it's ready to go" zone, though. I decided to work on it, and did, so I'm pretty happy about that. Even if I did want to spend time on a couple other things. Next. Later. Just wait. One idea at a time, brain, please.

As much as I loved the idea, writing anything for the event for original characters just went nowhere for me. I just didn't have the extra bandwidth, but I would have loved to participate in it, if I'd had the time to pull my shit together. (If you're curious, what I wrote those few words on was a college au meet!cute for Gareth & Di for the introductions prompt. I didn't get far. But I had fun thinking about it for a minute.)

Anyway, I averaged 830.38 words a day this month.

And for the yearly average, I'm now at 946.45 words per day.

What I Posted This Month:

So Here Is Us (For Steddie Micro, T, 509 Words)

All Across the Universe (Chapters 1 & 2, E, 9,287 Words)

[thethirteenthcrow]

lmao i love learning about your shyan lore. what fic was it 😭

god. i don't remember one (1) fic top of my head, but in the summer of 2019 i was like, my friend showed me a bfu video and i needed something to read over the summer. i had some books and i downloaded some fics on a shady non-ao3 affiliated app. i'm looking for some of them now, others may have been deleted long since. ao3 history to the rescue: here are the first shyan fics i've ever read

Tempting Fate by Squeakyshroom | 7k

AU where soulmates are real, and Ryan would rather face a demon than the truth. Or: Shane's patient, until he's not.

You'll See How Good It'll Be In The Coming Year by orphan_account | 9k

Ryan and Shane go to a New Years party for inhumans, then go home.

we found each other hungry by abovetheruins | 9k

He’d laughed with the rest of his friends when they’d seen the billboard advertising the site. They’d all been a little buzzed and high on the adrenaline of another successful semester under their belts, but he’d woken up the next morning with the site’s name poking at his subconscious, and by the end of the day he had created an account and set up a profile. It wasn’t that he was struggling, per se, but tuition was fucking expensive and he didn’t want his parents to pay for a dime, so he’d buckled down and juggled classes and two part-time jobs to pay for it all, until he’d gotten so used to nights of little to no sleep that the bags beneath his eyes were deep enough to drown in and he was spending most of his waking hours fueled by caffeine and adrenaline and little else. If he had a chance to get compensated for nothing more strenuous than spending some time with a lonely old dude, well, what kind of idiot would he be to pass that up?

The Mysterious Disappearance of Shane Madej by waitforhightide | 13k

The thing about Ryan Bergara was that he didn't trust his own brain. So when he arrived at the office and asked TJ if he’d seen Shane yet, and TJ said, “Who?” Ryan’s reaction was first to look around for cameras, and second, for Shane. For the reality check, for the affirmation that TJ had said what Ryan himself had heard.

Better Than Being Hung Up By The Thumbs by orphan_account | 3k

Shane's stance on being hung from his thumbs versus being spanked has changed somewhat.

You Make the World Seem Bigger by beethechange | 40k

The creature stirs. She squirm-drags herself down until she’s on Ryan’s belly, and then she noses at the pocket of his hoodie. Ryan gently tucks her in so only her head is visible, and they both watch as she sighs happily and burrows into the warmth. Ryan looks up at him, beaming. It is, Shane has to admit, very cute. “Ryan Bergara, Father of Goat-Dragons,” Shane says. “I can’t believe she already likes you best.” “Yeah, well,” Ryan says. “You tried to name her Snooki and turn her over to the state of California, so you reap what you sow.” OR: Ryan and Shane film a Supernatural episode in the Pine Barrens on the elusive Jersey Devil. They don’t manage to find it, but a few months after filming, one definitely finds them. And it’s decided they’d make great adoptive parents.

there were several deleted works in here ;-; but here's at least some of baby me discovering shyan haha <3 NOW TELL ME YOURS

[14febandher]

alright, buckle up because trying to narrow down what i love about you is like trying to count stars in the sky might be impossible but here are a few that shine the brightest and i counted them just for yoy and i will do the very best because you are the one who must know it all

1. i adore the fact that you are so sweet to me you're the most innocent elk of love, and you're as if an angel. even without words, you live by showing it just by the way you treat me and how you make me feel it. moreover taking care of me has become soo special that i will never overlook it

2. I love that you have been by my side every step of the way since the very beginning no matter how high or how low the situation is. you never waver you stand by me, no matter what happens, in any part of my life. you don’t turn your back on me and you never happen to let me feel alone. the love you show me means the sun and the stars to me ):

3. what i kove the most is that you're the person who really gets me, soo understanding not just what i say, but also what i don't say. im never in the situation when i have to make myself clear to you because you already get me. you simply know what im thinking, what i need, before I even say a word. when nobody has ever understod me the way you do

4. i show your love and care for meyou love me with all of your heart and i'm able to feel your love. you're always around me, always putting me first, always making sure im okay.

5. i love the fact that your presence feels like a safe shelter just the fact of being around you creates a sense so overpowering and intense that would be appropriate to call it a home. everything is cooler, safer, better when youre around. you bring a cozy feeling of comfort that nothing else on the planet is able to

6. i love the way you have changed so many of my bad habits not because i ever had to, but because the love for you inspires me to become better. just by you behaving in such a way as being you

7. i love when we text eo no matter what time it is, no matter how exhausted we are, it's always my favorite thing to do in the whole day and every single time, without exceptions

8. i love your cute vocal messages like sooo much especially when you tell me about your day, even the things which on the grand scale of things seem nearly insignificant. you might be telling me a story about anything, and i would still listen to it all intently because the story is yours. this makes me feel like im next to you, even when we are not together

9. i love how passionate you are about the things you love the way you talk about your favourite things with so much excitement is one of the cutest things about you. im so un love with your energy its contagious, and i could listen to you for hours

10. i love how supportive you are of me tht you believe in me in a way no one else ever has you always push me to do better, to keep going, to believe in myself even when i sometimes don’t. you never let me feel like i’m alone in anything

11. i love how thoughtful you are the little things you do the things you remember, the way you always know exactly what to say or do to make me feel better. you are the most CARING person i’ve ever known, and i appreciate you more than words can say like frrrr

12. i love how you make everything feel cool asf even the most ordinary things become special when im with you. you bring so much fun to my life, and i never get tired of experiencing the world through your eyes

13. i love how effortlessly you make me happi just a little text from you, just hearing your voice, is enough to brighten my whole day not months you don’t even have to try you just are my happiness and you're so sweet you make me saur happi

14. I love how you love me like i’m your whole world and i love that you’re mine. i don’t know what i did to deserve you, but i promise i’ll spend forever making sure you know just how deeply ilove you too

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

MY SPECIAL VALENTINE