#i'm sorry if this is garbled i'm still trying to organize my thoughts

[ravenkings]

i feel like in a lot of left wing discourse these days, if an ostensibly weaker entity who is considered "oppressed" (by whatever standard) attacks an ostensibly stronger entity who is considered the "oppressor," there's all this shock and horror when the stronger entity inevitably retaliates, which, to me, seems completely illogical on several grounds.

like on the one hand, WHY would you expect an oppressor NOT to retaliate since the whole concept of an "oppressor" implies that they will do everything to keep their victims under their thumb? (and that's if you're even trying to work within this framework.)

in a similar vein, i think it is VERY hard to convince people as a collective to turn the other cheek if they feel they've been wronged and that goes for both oppressor and oppressed. i think it is possible in the right conditions, but people shouldn't be shocked when it doesn't work out since it's frankly kind of counter to human nature.

we can hope for people to be more merciful and forgiving and cool-headed, but ultimately no one should be surprised when that doesn't happen, particularly in the down and dirty world of global geopolitics.

[imawreck]

Interrogation

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x Original Character

Summary: Ghost's mind is a garbled puzzle of memories, and the once familiar face of the Winter Soldier is somehow the same and different in her eyes.

Author's Note: Hey, sorry for the spam, but I'm really excited to keep getting these chapters out! I have most of this story written, and I'll try to keep it to two posts a week minimum. I'll probably post more frequently on this series for a while though, so expect a lot! This is also the first part in this series that goes into Ghost's perspective, and it'll switch from now on. Thanks for reading!

Warnings: Mild gore, italicized words when speaking different languages to each other

Word Count: 1,350

Ghost-

The pain resonating through my body helped to ground my scattered mind. I was familiar with the after affects of cryosleep, and was no stranger to memory loss. Waking up with a scrambled brain, surrounded by strangers, was a normalcy of sorts. But seeing him again made everything different.

I had watched him kiss death, watched the life flicker in and out of his eyes as I tried to keep him alive on that battlefield. I thought that I would never see him again. Seeing him reminded me of the missions spent alone, the glimpses of his former self, the man who I knew existed in him but had rarely seen for myself. I knew the asset, knew him better than anyone. And he knew me.

Seeing him like this, open and filled with emotions was foreign. This was not the Asset I knew.

There were feelings that I didn't understand stirring in my chest, confusing feelings that made my heart hammer and my skin sweat. They made me furious. But then he was there. I couldn't see him, but I knew he was there. His footsteps were confident, and the subtle whir of his metal arm was impossible for me to mistake for anything, anyone else. I had to know that I could get to him, that I could make it to him if something went wrong. I still wasn't sure if I could trust these people.

So I stood, walking over to the wall of this strange cage, analyzing it for its weak points. The assets words- no, his orders- resonated suddenly in my mind. "Do not engage."

I knew my mission, I knew that I had to complete it no matter the cost. I was created to protect the Asset. If listening to him somehow protected him, then I would listen. But I had to know that I could get to him. I eyed the sealed edges of the cell, gaging how much power I would have to put behind my fist to successfully dislodge them, shatter them if I could, and I threw my arm into it. Two broken knuckles, but the wall cracked. Another two and I would be free, fully capable of getting through the metal door separating me from the Asset.

A feeling of slight relief filled me as I returned to my position against the wall, continuing my gaze at the door just beyond my cell. I could still hear the whirring of his arm, knew he was watching me with pensive eyes. He wouldn't remember me, he would if this was a hydra organization. But things were different, he was different, and it had been such a long time since we had seen each other. He trusted these people, meaning they definitely weren't hydra. The Asset had always been uptight around them. Here he was more relaxed, kind, and spoke for himself. It was clear to me that he viewed these people as allies.

For the time being, I would regard them as allies of my own. If the Asset thought they were trustworthy, then I will trust his judgment.

A stampede of footsteps stormed outside the door and voices raised. I listened as they fired off questions to the Asset concerning my containment. They discussed what I could've done, but didn't. Considered my actions as a way of communicating. And it was, in some aspects. When he asked me if I could hear him, I nodded. I listened to Captain America as he spoke to the Asset, calling him by an unfamiliar name again. Bucky. I bounced the name around a few times in my head, trying to feel for any sense of familiarity, but I couldn't remember any. I must have never known him by that name.

A few moments of silence passed before something outside the door beeped and I heard the lock on the door slide out of position. I watched as his tall form entered slowly, hesitantly, and closed the door behind him. Steely blue eyes stared at the crack in the cell wall, and glided along its lines before landing back on me. There was fear there. It was such a shock to me that I flinched, unable to process what I could've done wrong or why he was scared of me. I hadn't meant to scare him. I frowned, keeping my eyes on him as he approached the wall across from where I was seated.

"They want me to talk to you, ask you some questions." His voice was deep, but it was softer than it used to be.

I just stared at him, this person I used to think I knew and yet didn't know at the same time.

He ran a hand through his hair, a nervous habit I knew. "Do you know where you are?"

"No." My Russian was gravely, voice raw from disuse.

He was avoiding my eyes. Looking at the cot a few feet from me. "This is the Avengers tower in New York."

I tensed, suddenly reminded of all the missions where Hydra's agents were sought after and killed by the Heroes. I nodded.

"They won't hurt you, as long as you cooperate with us. We just want to help you and understand your situation."

Us. He was with them. He had traded sides. A wave of relief washed over me  as I took a needed breath, letting my shoulders drop a notch in relief.

He continued the interrogation, "What year were you born?"

"I don't know." I furrowed my brows, gaze still trained on the man behind the glass.

He seemed to be saddened by my response, a frown drawing onto his face. "Do you know where you came  from? What your life was like before Hydra?"

I stared at him, long and hard. Somehow trying to will him to remember me through the glass between us. "My life is Hydra," I respond in English. I stand, slowly, watching his shoulders tense and his fists clench. "I was born in the facility from what I know, and raised to fight as the shield of Hydra. My life's mission is to protect the Assets." I took steady steps towards the glass and stopping just in front of him. Only the glass separating us. "I have no life outside of it."

I watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed, eyes trained on his features. He had shown so much emotion up until now, but his face had gone blank and a fire had lit behind his eyes. "Stark won't let you out of here until he's sure you're not a risk to the team. We're not sure if they made you like me, and he doesn't want to take any chances-"

"I'm not like you." The words came out soft and abruptly, pushing their way out from my throat, bypassing the years of training and fear of punishment.

His brows furrowed, "What do you mean?"

I had to remind myself he was not with Hydra anymore, taking a breath before continuing. "I do not have activation commands." I gripped my palms, digging my nails into the meat of my hand. My broken knuckles ached at the movement. "Everything I have done was willing at one point, until you." I sucked in a breath, trying to hold back the train of memories crashing around my head. "They had to find alternative ways to make me comply after that."

He hesitated, obviously seeing that the topic was touchy for me. "After what?"

I steeled myself, stuffing down the memories and emotions that came with them. "After Commander Strucker made me watch them wipe your mind."

He still had questions for me, I could tell, but that statement struck him hard. His face contorted in horror and realization- of what, I'm not sure- and he physically stumbled back. I dropped my gaze, backing away from the glass. "I will not engage. I will comply to any given command." Those words were meant for the others, another message of sorts.

He nodded, eyes foggy and far off before he turned and left the room. I slumped back against the wall after I heard the door click, and waited, watching the skin of my knuckles slowly stitch itself back together.

[yellow-r-o-s-e]

it's all unscripted

Word Count: about 2000

Pairing: romantic Lumity, platonic Blight siblings

Characters: Amity Blight, Edric Blight, Emira Blight, also brief Luz Noceda, Eda Clawthorne, and Owlbert

Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Post Episode, Takes Place Immediately After S02E08 “Knock Knock Knocking On Hooty’s Door”

Warnings: Crying, Anxiety, Bits of Implied Perfectionism, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse

Author’s Note: I literally cannot stop thinking about Amity in this episode. She went through such an emotional rollercoaster, poor girl.

Summary:

Luz was in love with her.

The revelations still sent fireworks through Amity’s heart.

They were even dating now, which was unimaginably cool.

She tried desperately to hold that warmth close to her, fearing it would slip away as she got further from the Owl House.

This—sneaking back home and pretending nothing had happened—was the easy part. It should be, at least.

Read it on ao3 at the link below, or click the Read More button to read on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33079672

Amity still felt dazed and jittery when she arrived in front of Blight Manor. Her feet hit the ground with a soft thud, crunching against pink and red pine needles. The concrete steps in front of her house loomed, looking colder and more threatening than she remembered. As she pulled her hood lower over her eyes, her fingers trembled.

It was fine. She could do this.

A headache had snuck up on her. Her forehead and eyes felt like they were burning, and she had a lump in her throat.

Still, she’d had a fantastic night. Nothing could take that away. Luz was in love with her, and they were dating. The memories still sent fireworks through Amity’s heart. She tried desperately to hold that warmth close to her, fearing it would slip away.

This—sneaking back in and pretending nothing had happened—was the easy part.

She turned to the palisman beside her.

“Thank you....” What was his name again? Edalyn had mentioned it, as she was insisting that he should fly Amity home to make sure she was safe, but then Luz’s hand had lightly brushed against Amity’s shoulder, and Luz’s gorgeous face had been right there, so close, and all of Amity’s thoughts had fizzled out to make room for sparkly giddiness.

“Thanks, little friend,” Amity whispered. The wooden owl seemed satisfied and flapped his wings. Then he took off, headed back to the Owl House, where his family was waiting for him. Luz was probably, hopefully, still thinking about her, and she’d be happy to see her little owl friend return safe, and...

A few pangs of inexplicable jealousy surged through her before she wrestled them away. She grit her teeth. This wasn’t how she was supposed to feel. She had been so happy a few minutes ago, it shouldn’t have evaporated this fast.

She closed her eyes and counted down from ten, bracing herself to move forward through the clearing. When she reached ‘one,’ she held her breath and sprinted until she made it inside. She shut the front door as quietly as possible and leaned against the wall.

Then, with no warning or reason, the electric glee came back full force, making her feel unsteady on her feet. She blushed, biting her cheeks to stop herself from smiling, or worse, squealing with joy. That wouldn’t end well for her. Luz’s words echoed in her mind. As much as her instincts tried to dissect the events of the night, as hard as she searched for any downsides or sources of negativity, she still felt like she was floating.

The good feeling lasted a few seconds before it was replaced by guilt, which didn’t even make sense.

“I need to get back home. My mom is going to kill me,” she had said, out loud, like a complete idiot. She had meant to say it to herself, but then Luz was alert and looking at her seriously and oh… oh no. She’d ruined the moment.

“Not…” Amity swallowed. “Not literally. I’ll be fine.” Needing to do something with her hands, she gave Luz a thumbs up.

“Are you going to be…” Luz’s voice was so soft, Amity felt like her heart was cracking.

“It’s totally fine…” Amity laughed, but it sounded hollow, even to her own ears.

“Because, earlier, she did try to kill me, literally, and I don’t want you to be in danger because of me, and-”

Amity groaned, trying to shift her focus to current issues, like getting up the stairs without being caught.

It would be so much easier if she could just feel all of her emotions at once, Amity thought, making her way down the empty hallway. If it was all at once, she knew she’d be feeling overwhelming happiness twinged with only tiny amounts of negativity. Unfortunately, the sheer amount of emotions were too much for her to handle, so they took turns crashing over her in waves.

She managed to slip upstairs unnoticed, and her hands were shaking when she silently opened her bedroom door, but she was pretty sure it was more from the leftover thrill of the night than fear of being caught by her parents.

She closed the door behind her and saw herself sitting at her desk, scribbling at a homework problem.

“What?” She blinked, confused.

The illusion of her dissolved into mist, and she suddenly realized that her brother was sitting next to her desk, looking directly at her. She froze, unable to speak.

This wasn’t part of the plan.

“We didn’t know where you went, but mom came to check on you, and I figured you didn’t want to be caught,” he said in explanation. “You’re welcome.” He smiled.

That made sense. Amity was pretty sure she should feel grateful for the save. Unfortunately, any gratitude she felt was more than cancelled out by the fury that he was in her room, perceiving her, drawing out the already too long night. Ideally the night should have ended twenty minutes ago, when she had still been with Luz.

“Hey, Em, she’s not dead,” Edric spoke into a shimmering circle, no doubt sending some sort of illusion to carry the message to their sister.

In a matter of seconds, Emira burst through the door, out of breath.

No no no no no, she hadn’t planned for this. She didn’t know what to say to them, hadn’t even figured out how she was feeling. She just wanted it to be tomorrow already, so she could be standing next to Luz at school, and everything could be bright and shiny and wonderful again.

“Oh, hey there Mittens,” Emira said, making finger guns. “Glad to see you here. Not that we were worried or anything-“

“Where were you?” Edric interrupted. “You freaked us out. Em was on the verge of telling mom-“

“No, I wasn’t.” Emira leaned against the wall, faking nonchalance. “I’m not a snitch. It was all under control, and I trust you.”

Edric stuck his tongue out at her.

“I’m sorry,” Emira said, “which of us said they thought they saw her get eaten by a worm demon?”

“Oh.” Amity finally found her voice, and their gazes snapped toward her. She slid down to the floor, trying to escape their gazes. “No, he’s right, that did happen.”

“What?!”

“Are you okay?”

And then the twins were talking over each other, pressing for more details, and Amity couldn’t quite breathe, and-

“You’re overwhelming her!” Emira chided. “Look at her face.”

“Like you weren’t also-“

“Shush.” Emira gently nudged her brother aside, sitting down in front of Amity. “Mittens, baby, can you tell us what happened?”

“I’m not a baby,” Amity grumbled. Why wouldn’t they leave? She just wanted to be alone, for Titan’s sake.

Emira rolled her eyes, and Edric shoved her gently.

“Mittens, teenager who is very wise,” Edric said. “Can you tell us what happened?”

“Yeah, um…” Amity tried to think back through the night, searching for an understandable place to start. “Well… you see…” she swallowed. “I…”

And then, she broke down sobbing.

Edric reached out a hand toward her, waiting until she nodded to pull her into a tight hug. She buried her face in his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” he said.

“I know! That’s the problem! It’s not…” Amity hiccoughed, frantically rubbing at her face. “It was good. I’m just stupid. I don’t know why-“

She let out another sob. She was pretty sure she was getting snot all over Edric’s shirt. Good. That’s what he got for annoying her when she wanted to be left alone.

She made several attempts at speech that all came out garbled.

“Take your time,” Emira said.

“Luz-” Amity sniffled again. “Luz thinks I’m cool.”

Edric laughed at that. Amity tried to glare at him but still couldn’t stop crying.

“She’s so cute.” Amity sniffled, out of breath. “I’m gonna throw up.”

“That,” Edric cleared his throat, trying not to laugh again. “That sounds very difficult. How will you ever survive?”

“Shut up,” Amity grumbled, pushing him away from her. She stood up and flopped face-first onto her bed.

“We’re…” she had meant to get it over with, to say “we’re dating” and let the twins react over enthusiastically, but anxiety overtook her and her throat dried up.

"I'm sorry," Emira said, not sounding sorry, "but what does that have to do with being eaten by a worm demon?"

"Luz's dumb bird-worm thing kidnapped me," Amity said with a small laugh, grateful for the subject change. Then, she felt her face go bright red. She couldn't very well tell her siblings about the Tunnel of Love, or she'd be teased for the rest of her life.

"Okay..." Emira sat down next to her, and she fought not to hiss at the intrusion of her personal space. Emira must have sensed her discomfort, though, because she stood back up immediately. "And then?"

"Things... happened. And then Luz asked me hnnmnnmnm," she buried her face in her pillow.

"I didn’t quite get that." Emira said. Even without looking up, Amity could hear the smirk in her voice.

"Luz..." Amity took a deep breath. It was fine. She was okay. It wasn't going to become any less special if she said it out loud.

"Luz asked me to go out with her." It was silent for a second, and she savored the words.

"Woo!" Edric held out a hand to high-five her, and she tapped it lightly.

"Congrats!" Emira said. “No wonder you’re such a mess.”

“You did say yes, right?” Edric asked.

“I’m not stupid,” she said, throwing a pillow at him.

“Someone’s avoiding the question…”

“Yes!” she said. “I said yes, okay. Can I go to sleep now?”

“Hmmm,” Emira tapped her finger against her chin, and Amity groaned.

“Fine,” Emira said, “because we love you so much, and we’re so proud of you, we’ll let you sleep. Just this once.”

Emira grabbed her brother by the elbow and dragged him out of the room, shooting Amity one last smile before closing the door. Finally, she was blissfully alone.

Memories swirled through her brain again. Luz’s hand squeezing hers. Luz’s horrified expression when Amity had tried to fake a smile but couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her face. Luz’s nervous laughter as she told Amity how much she liked her. Luz’s knee bumping against hers as they sat face to face, theoretically trying to decide what being girlfriends meant, but getting too distracted staring at each other to finish the conversation. Luz kissing her cheek and looking at her so sincerely as she told her “fly home safe.”

Amity’s heart thudded in her ribcage. She might combust if her siblings found out about how stupid in love she’d acted tonight, but she was going to explode anyway if she didn’t tell all the details to someone immediately.

Resigned, she sat up, and crept out of her room. Her siblings were still standing in the hallway, whispering excitedly. Edric noticed her first, tapping Emira’s hand to get her to look.

“Mittens?” she asked.

“I’m feeling every emotion,” she admitted, “and I can’t sleep, and I need you to come back actually,” she mumbled, not meeting their eyes.

“Sweet,” Edric said.

It wasn’t even a teasing remark, but Amity still blushed. She was screwed, she knew. Still, with their eyes on her, the hurricane of emotions that was tugging at her felt a little less heavy and a little more manageable. She was lucky to have them as her siblings, not that she’d ever tell them that.

“Aww, is she too in love to sleep?” Emira asked.

“Shut up,” Amity said, blushing even harder.

“Okay, okay, I’m shutting up. It’s your turn to talk,” Emira said. “Tell us everything.”

[valentinesparda]

🎫 here's a gush pass ^^ feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other selfshippers

@lunaeloves oh lucky you I just woke up from a lil nap before I'm gonna end up going to my friend's apartment later tonight and I - predictably - cannot stop thinking about like 6 different f/os right now but I'm gonna edge towards some good eldritch babes (and some not-eldritch babes) for this SUPER LONG RAMBLING ASK IM SORRY IN ADVANCE

first of all, since I haven't stopped playing it on repeat for the past two days, The Baddest preview dropped so I'm obligated to touch on evelynn (or more accurately I would love to touch on evelynn but that's neither here nor there), and whew boy do I love women. and eldritch beings. I f/o quite a few of those now, too. the only disappointing part is how short her section in the song actually is. anyways hello have you not seen my wife?? you're gonna!!

I haven't stopped thinking about this new outfit since I saw it. shes called "the diva" for God's sake. her stupid diamond encrusted claw rings only on the middle finger are making me lose it in the gayest way possible. the cheeky over-top-of-the-sunglasses stare is gonna put me in an early grave. have I talked about how her eyes are like a sunset?? or how her hair looks so soft and long and I want nothing more than to run my fingers through it because this is the longest I think her hair has ever been?? I'm legally not allowed to open my mouth about the open low neckline she has going on there but anyways ms evelynn leagueoflegends please dm me I have feelings for you and there's a lot of them

okay on to the next one which....thinking about writing This gush is making me feel like this rn

bc I haven't really gushed about him yet but boy is it time

so. can we talk about hellsing alucard. can we talk about how cool he is. will you allow me this moment of time in this day to let me try to coherently string a line of thought that isn't just me garbling uncontrollably about this funky eldritch boy?? lets observe shall we--

listen. I fully went into watching hellsing ultimate for the first time just thinking he was like. okay. I was highkey only in it for Sir Integra (still am please dm me ma'am) and then by the midway point in ova episode 2 I was like "okay maybe he's kinda cool" and then by the END of said episode when he is absolutely feasting upon luke valentine's dumb ass and he first activates his protocol or whatever I'm still half asleep I ended up kinda jumping around the entire time just having a GREAT time watching the anime and you can ASK my friends for confirmation on this I could not shut up.

[ side note uh I love jan valentine?? bitch sucks but oh my God is he not the most entertaining character I've met so far, he beats out rip van winkle who I thought just from their look that I would adore but surprise!! go listen to PREY FOR ME/3 by FEVER 333 for an excellent jan valentine song. no I will Not shut up ]

alucard is....he's so goddamn cool?? he's batshit insane for seemingly no reason and over the top and he's FUNNY!! there's something incredibly endearing about him being a vampire in the late 90's who literally just like. does That?? I can't fully explain my thoughts because we would be here longer than we have been and it's complicated right now without me fully experiencing his character and being able to pick him apart outside of the reader inserts I've been reading lmao. it'll probably get worse as I watch the anime and develop more thoughts and feelings. also I've already talked about this on Twitter but his LOOK IN THE BEGINNING OF OVA EP 3?? HELLO????

god I fucking love you. you're so greasy and weird and creepy and fun and I'm GOING to make out with you

coughs. anyways.

i can also say that I've been wholeheartedly avoiding spoilers for the rest of the anime since I stopped on episode 4 WHICH I ALSO ENJOYED IMMENSELY BECAUSE HE HAS A BLACKBIRD?? A CUSTOMIZED HELLSING ORGANIZATION SR-71?? THIS DECADES OLD VAMPIRE EXISTING IN 1999 HAS HIS OWN PERSONAL MILITARY AIRCRAFT AND KNOWS HOW TO FLY IT?? HE CRASHES IT INTO A NAZI SHIP?? EVERYTHING HE RUINS TURNS INTO A BURNING CROSS!! HE ABSOLUTELY EVISCERATED EVERYONE ON THAT SHIP AND IT HAD ME LOSING MY MIND. I'm excited to be able to continue watching the anime and eventually finish it so that I can continue to be a stupid little pansexual mess of a goth

honorable mentions go to sir integra who I would be willing to cross oceans to just have her reject my marriage proposal and possibly have her threaten me with her saber or her gun idc whichever one is more convenient for her at the time. I just want her to slow dance with me in the moonlight and dip me down low in a kiss that we shouldn't be sharing

and pip bernadotte who is Such a good boy and I am going to hold his face in my hands and kiss and compliment him until he is nothing but a melted pile of affection and then braid his hair with ribbons and flowers and all of that wonderful stuff while he talks about everything he's ever experienced in life

okay thank you for reading and GOOD NIGHT LAS VEGAS!!!! *smashes a glass plate before I can be booed off the stage*