#i'm so sorry but i'm pretty mad about this

[kaliforniahigh]

Request: "Matt Dierkes x wife reader smutty one shot where they get caught on the tour bus or other random places?" Thank you so much for the request!

Warnings: cursing and a steamy make out session but no actual smut (they get caught before the act)

WC: 1.6k (not proofread yet!)

Requests are closed for now.

You loved going on tour with Matt, specially since you worked together. You were a lighting engineer for the band and you met Matt when you started working for the band a couple of years back.

The attraction was instant between you and everyone could notice. The way he never got mad at you - quite the contrary, the boy always seemed to have an extra soft spot for you - and the way you always worried if he was well - tour could be pretty hectic and take a toll on your health - were a dead giveaway that something was blossoming between you.

Despite everyone rooting for you to get together, there were the people who warned you about working with your partner. They told you that it never worked, and that you would fight all the time.

But you always told them that if it ever came to it, you and Matt could separate your professional lives from your personal ones, because you were adults, after all.

Now, a couple of years later, you and Matt not only established a relationship, but you also decided to get married not too long ago. Most days it didn't even feel like working with your husband, because you just went about your routines as per usual.

It was rare that Matt got angry with anyone really, he was pretty chill overall and used to dealing with things going wrong, so you felt like nothing really affected him anymore.

Today, though, was one of those days where everything seemed to be going wrong. First, the tour bus broke down on the road because of the cold, which made you guys late for the concert. Then, some of the sound equipment decided not to work and the panels were off and no one could figure out how to get those damn things working.

You could hear the fans outside waiting to come in and the stress of being late already and not having things ready were weighing on his shoulders. You could hear him in the distance him talking on the phone with the venue manager. Something about how the hell was he not here to help with the technical difficulties that most likely were being caused by his shitty venue.

You left him to it, and since your lighting equipment was already set up - thank god this one thing worked out tonight - you went to help the other guys. Everything seemed to plugged in in the right places and still, nothing was working. Even Noah, Jolly and the Nicks were helping at this point.

"Guys", Matt approached you all with a sigh. "The venue manager told me everything was working accordingly just a couple of days go, which is obviously bullshit", he rubbed his forehead, a clear sign of stress. You wanted to smooth out the creases yourself, but refrained from it.

"How are we gonna perform without our equipment?", Jolly asked, a hint of desperation in his voice.

"That's the thing, I don't think we will", Matt answered. Every band's fear was becoming a reality right before your eyes.

"Are we gonna have to cancel?", Noah voiced what everyone was thinking. Matt only nodded. "What about the fans waiting outside?"

"I'm really sorry, this is really not what I wanted to do, trust me. We could try and find another venue, but we gotta be in another city tomorrow. We might have to reimburse the people who paid for tickets for today", you could tell he was disappointed in having to do this. Matt was a problem solver kind of person, and having to deal with a problem he couldn't solve was killing him.

After a little more debate, everyone agreed that canceling was the best thing to do due to the circumstances. Noah and the guys went back to the green room talking about how they're gonna sue the venue manager.

"I'm gonna go out there and tell those people that the band they love is not performing tonight. You guys can start loading the things back in the bus", he started to turn around, but you went after him.

"Hey", you called out and he looked at you. "I'll go with you. You don't have to do this alone", you took your hand in his.

"You don't have to do this, baby. I'm used to it, it's part of the job anyways", he reassured you, rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand.

"I know that you can handle yourself. But I wanna go with regardless", he only nodded, knowing it was useless arguing with you, and you followed him outside.

The annoucement was met with complaints, angry remarks and a few crying faces. Matt knew this wasn't directed at him, but it broke his heart regardless. All these people with the hopes of having an unforgettable night would have to go back to their homes without watching Bad Omens perform.

He said sorry one more time and rushed back inside the venue. You said sorry yourself and followed him. You looked around you and saw that your lighting equipment was already being loaded back in the boxes and decided to check were Matt headed to.

You asked around and a few people told you they saw him going in the direction of the bathrooms. You made your way down the hall and knocked on the men's restoroom door, hearing him answer with a "yeah" on the other side of the door. He was probably wondering who the hell was bothering him when he was in the bathroom.

"You alone in there?" you asked him. Recognizing it was you, he opened the door and you made your way inside, closing it again behind you.

"You just ran off, I got worried about you", you told him as you took his face in your hands.

"I got so angry when I saw all those people out there, just waiting", he huffed in frustration.

"I know, baby. But this isn't your fault, and it probably won't be the last time you'll have to cancel", you tried to reason with him.

"I know, I'm just so fucking mad at that fucking venue manager who told me 'everything is working perfectly, are you sure it's not your equipment that's low quality?'", he used air quotes to tell you what the venue manager has the nerve to tell him. "He obviously ripped us off because he wasn't even here, he knows his venue is fucking shit", he spat, in anger. You waited a few seconds to say anything, just in case he needed to vent some more. But he just took a few deep breaths to calm himself down.

"I'm sorry, you don't deserve to hear all this", he apologized, resting his hands on your hips. You let a little smile grace your lips. You knew how to make him feel better.

"It's kind of hot when you get all angry like this", you said with a low voice and a hint of playfulness. He finally cracked and smirked a little at your remark.

"Yeah? You like it, babe?", you nodded and pressed yourself closer to him. "You know, you're my silver lining in all of this, right?", he said, lips inches away from yours, eyes travelling between your eyes and lips.

"I think I don't. Will need you to show me", you teased him and in a few seconds, his lips crashed on yours, pushing you backwards with the force, your back hitting the marble countertop behind you.

The kiss was fervent, an indicator of his mood and how this bathroom rendezvous was gonna go. You both moaned into the kiss, your hands tangling in his hair as he hoisted you up on the counter.

His hands traveled up your torso under your shirt and you lifted your arms for him to take it off, you skin prickling with goosebumps from the cold air.

His mouth immediatly moved to kiss your shoulders and down the valley of your brests.

"Fuck, you're everything I need right now", he hummed into your skin and you only moaned in acknowledgment.

"Take your shirt off, please", you said, voice sounding a little breathless, and he moved away from your body to peel off the layer of clothing.

"C'mere", he helped you down from the counter and turned you around, pushing your head down and making you bend your back, ass up in the air.

He kissed your spine and ran his hand over the fat of your ass, delivering a spank that made you yelp in surprise. His clothed crotch was pressed into you, and you could feel how hard he was under his pants.

He was about to yank your pants down your legs when the door swung open, both of you whipping your heads to the side, only to meet the shocked expression on Ruffilo's face.

You were still bend over the counter when you heard Matt tell him to 'get the fuck out', and Nick muttered a few apologies before closing the door behind him.

You looked at Matt through the mirror in front of you and you both started to giggle at the situation. Eventually, you stood up straight and turned around to face him. It was like Nick's entrance popped your little bubble entirely.

"Probably not the best idea to fuck in the bathroom, huh?" you asked in a teasing tone.

"That's you pushing me to make bad decisions", he smiled and gave you a peck on the lips. "As much as I loved our little almost escapade, we should probably get back out there", he stated, in a little disappointed tone.

You agreed with him and you both made your way out of the bathroom.

"We'll stay at a hotel room in the next city and then I'll make sure to bend you over the counter and fuck you good", he whispered in your ear, making you stop in your tracks, mouth agape.

He kept walking and laughed at the state he just left you.

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Part X

Word count: 2200+

Warnings: mentions of trauma and burns

Autumn themed divider by tsunami-of-tears

Part IX | Part XI

Waking up was laborious and it needed several tries, but when you finally managed to keep your eyes open, you were greeted by familiar surroundings of your cozy room. You let out a shuddering breath. For some reason, you expected to wake up back in that dark room with those two disgusting males above you.

No! It was nothing. It won't happen again. It won't. It's over, you forbade yourself to think about it. There was no doubt that these unpleasant memories would haunt you day and night, so you did the same thing that you did with all bad memories - you pushed them deep down where nobody could find them, not even you and closed the door. The moment it was done, the tremor stopped and you just lay in bed blankly gazing out the window.

After few minutes you inhaled deeply, ready to start all over. It was nice to find out that you could again breathe normally and even the pain was mostly gone. You raised an arm that was certainly broken before, carefully spinning it and trying to move it. It didn't hurt at all. Next you touched your face and hissed. It was still quite sensitive, but you didn't feel any wounds nor swelling.

Closing eyes you took another deep breath and another, enjoying the feeling, the fact that you could do it. You didn't worry about the scars or any temporary bruises that could mark your skin. For some reason you never had any left, your skin perfectly intact, porcelain white.

You rolled to your side and bumped into something solid and warm lying next to you. Slowly opening eyes, you found your husband still deep asleep on his stomach, covers pulled up to the ends of his short hair. Someone had cleaned him up, the bruise under his eye was almost healed, too. A layer of sweat glistened on his forehead.

Several strands of silky red hair were falling to his face, so you gently brushed them back, founding out that the ends on his right side were burnt as well as tip of his ear. Your heart clenched in pain.

"Eris?" You didn't want to wake him up. You just needed to make sure he was real, that he was alive.

His eyelids trembled slightly in answer and that was it. He didn't even move.

"It will take more to wake him up," an amused voice called from the door.

Groaning you sat up and frowned. Killian with tray of jars and bandages in hands was heading to Eris's side of bed, his face unreadable.

"Healers had to properly dope him to keep him asleep, you know. He was trying to get to you, so we dumped him into your bed, but even that didn't work much." He put the tray on bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed.

It took awhile for his words to completely sink in. Despite of Killian's rambunctious voice, his brother didn't even as much as stirred. Swallowing hard, you gently wiped sweat from his brows.

"Is.. is he hurt? How bad is it?"

"Do not worry," he smirked but it didn't reach his eyes. "He will be fine in day or two. It's just easier when he is calm and stays still."

He reached out and took your hand, gently squeezing it. The warmth spread in your chest in a second. "How do you feel? You looked pretty bad. It's really miraculous how fast and well you heal."

"I'm fine," you shrugged, your gaze again fell down to your husband. Is he fine though? He had to fight with his own brother, even killed him. All because of you. And Killian? It was also his brother.

Killian narrowed eyes on you. He leaned over Eris and grabbed your shoulder, making you look up at him. His other hand cupped your cheek. There was something so warm and brotherly in his touch and the way his sad amber eyes burned up.

"Don't even dare to think that this is your fault. Do you hear me? Volkan was asshole and deserved it. Not me nor Eris feel sorry for him. Believe me. I'd kill him myself for what he has done to you," his voice was grave. More than anything he seemed to be mad at his other brother, Volkan.

He held your gaze until you nodded, then flashed a smile. His attention moved to his older brother.

He pulled the covers off of Eris's back and revealed his shirtless form with the bandages on right scapula and shoulder and on his left side above the the hem of trousers. However that wasn't the reason why you gasped. Whole his back was covered with whiplash scars and burns of different sizes. Your lower lip quivered as your eyes watered at the sight of such cruelty.

"I was wondering whether you two already did it or not and here is the answer," Killian snorted. Despite his attempt at a joke, there wasn't even a hint of amusement in his voice.

"He doesn't want people to know about this. He tried to hide it even from us, his siblings, and especially from mother, but she always knew," he added lowly and began to loosen the bandages with fresh burns under.

"Who-.." You couldn't finish the sentence.

"Who did this? Well.. we have more in common than you think. For start, our fathers were monsters. Yours at least covered up all the traces. Ours loved to show off his work."

You recoiled, pulling the covers to your chest. "Have you seen my body?"

He shook his head. "Only healers and your maids. Don't worry. I went only so far as staring at you while you were sleeping, but you already know that," Killian winked and blew you a kiss. He took one of the jars, dipped finger into the ointment and began to spread it carefully.

In silence you watched him to repeat the process until the wound was all covered. Then he took clean bandages and wrapped the burn. Your gaze moved to Eris's face. It was painful for sure, but he didn't even as much as frowned in this state.

"Can I do the other one?"

Killian looked up at you with raised brows. He hesitated for a moment and then handed you the jar with ointment. "I think that inside he would be so happy to know you took care of him, but he would be also angry that you've seen him like this, you know."

You swallowed hard and moved closer. "Do I just.. spread it?"

"Yeah," Killian answered softly, moved into the chair by the bed and eyed you thoughtfully. "He hasn't told yet, right?"

You tilted head to the side curiously. "Told me what exactly?"

"Nope, nothing," he shook his head. "My bad."

You frowned and focussed on the task at hand.

The outlines of the armour plates were burned into the flesh on Eris's shoulder. This wound was bigger and more severe than the other one. It must have been so painful when they undressed him. Touching him as lightly as you could, you spread the ointment and bandaged it.

When you were done, Killian took the tray, muttered something about the food and left.

Sitting there you watched your slumbering husband, biting on your lower lip anxiously. You suddenly needed to touch him, be closer to him, feel him, so you simply reached down and with feather-light touch traced the lines of his face with tip of the finger. He looked so young and vulnerable in sleep, his features soft and relaxed. You leaned down and kissed his cheek, inhaling his pleasant scent. You snuggled to his neck mindful of his wounds and stayed like that until your heart started to stutter.

You couldn't resist any longer and counted the freckles. Twelve cute little freckles on the right cheek. You smiled, satisfied, hoping that some day you would get a chance to count even the ones on the left side, now hidden in pillow.

Then you weaved fingers into his soft red hair, combing them back again and again, soothingly. Slowly moving to the back of his neck and down the spine, you mapped the scars, wishing you could erase them together with memories that were tied to them. Some of them were really deep and big as your palm and you didn't even want to imagine what could have caused them. It was breaking your heart onto pieces.

"It's gross, isn't it."

You startled at the sound of his hoarse voice clouded with emotions. His eyes were still closed, now wet with tears, but he was undoubtedly awake.

"My back.. It's gross, right? You don't have to-"

"No, it isn't. It just.. hurts to see how much you had to suffer," you sobbed. When did you started to cry? You wiped the tears into a sleeve of your nightgown.

"Not more than you," he finally looked up at you, his amber eyes calm, resigned.

"I'm sorry if I made you angry. Killian told me that you don't like others to look at your back. I shouldn't have touched you without permission.."

"I'm not angry," he sighed heavily. "To be honest, I quite enjoyed it before you got to the scars."

He was awake all this time? You didn't know what to say to that, too embarrassed.

"Do you usually cuddle with unconscious males like that or am I the exception?" he teased you, chuckling when he noticed your blazing cheeks.

You gaped at him, mortified to the bone. You never heard him joke around with others let alone with you. Eris was mostly a serious male, it was hard to believe he had it in him. "I-I don't touch others," you stammered. "How could I? I-"

"I know," still laughing he took your hand and pressed it to his cheek. "I'm sorry..

"I love when you are touching me," he murmured into your palm barely audibly, his cheeks tinted pink.

He closed eyes, his breaths slowed down after awhile. Minutes ticked by and he didn't move even slightest. Thinking that he fell asleep again, you pulled up covers on his bare back and caressed back of his head. Amber eye opened, watching you with a strangely sad glint in it.

"How do you feel?"

"Such small burns can't hurt me much," his smile didn't reach his eyes. "And what about you?"

"Some spots are sensitive to touch, but otherwise I'm completely fine."

"Really?"

"Really," you nodded.

"I saw what they did to you, what they were about to do.."

"I'm fine. Thanks to you." You smiled at him gently while mentally checking the door. Intact yet you felt uneasy all of a sudden.

Nothing happened because Eris was there. He came for me. It was nothing.

He closed eyes and heaved a sigh of relief. "I wanted to kill them all again and again when I saw you on the ground." He exhaled sharply through his nose.

"So little was missing and I wouldn't have found you in time. Just this little," he indicated with his fingers. He slowly got up, grimacing and sat facing you. He seemed to be angry or maybe worried. It was hard to say, but you felt guilty nonetheless.

"I needed something personal for my hounds to track you down," he gestured to the vanity, "but there's nothing solely yours in this castle. Thanks Mother that you haven't thrown away that birthday dress. Why didn't you say anything? It's no trouble to get you some combs, hair clips or whatever you need."

You felt so small. With every word your shoulders slumped more and more. You looked down on hands clenched in your lap, avoiding his piercing fiery eyes.

"If it's uncomfortable for you to tell me, you can.. I don't know.. write me down a list.. or tell your maids.."

"I'm sorry, but I-.. I have everything I need," you muttered, feeling like a child scolded by parent.

"Bullshit," he snorted humorlessly. "You can be selfish with me. Ask me for things you want. I'm begging you. I will give you anything your heart desires."

Anything.. A certain thought flashed through your mind and you bit on your lower lip.

"What is it?" His index finger hooked under your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. You swallowed hard, hesitating.

"Anything," he reassured you when you didn't speak up right away, his voice soft. "Just name it."

His hand moved to your cheek, thumb gently caressing you, while his burning amber orbs were searching the depths of your soul for answer.

You moistened your lips, your palms began to sweat. "What if.. What if I said I want you?"

He gaped at you and then burst out laughing. "I'm here literally offering you a moon on string and you ask me for something that already belongs to you. Other females wouldn't hesitate to ask for jewellery, more dresses and who knows what but not you." Eris shook his head in disbelief and his features once again softened. If you didn't know better, you would think that you saw tears shining in the corners of his eyes.

Your heart skipped a beat and you blushed fiercely.

"From now on you'll wish you could get rid of me," he winked and flopped down into sheets, making himself comfortable on your bed.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Negotiations (Joe Goldberg x gn reader)

Summary: Joe puts you in the glass cage and makes you negotiate for your freedom

Warnings: typical creepy Joe behavior (implied stalking, obsessive behavior, kidnapping, etc.), the reader either doesn't understand the full gravity of their situation or just doesn't care

A/N: I realized I never officially wrote something for it so here y'all go (this was written super quickly so idk if it's any good or not)

"So I had to do it, you see. I had to get rid of them. I had to save you," Joe insisted frantically, sounding like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was you.

You'd woken up in the infamous glass cage underneath the bookstore he worked at, curiously looking around. The only thing you'd said so far was to ask where to you, to which he replied "somewhere safe". Talk about ominous.

"What if I need to go to the bathroom?" You spoke up suddenly, as you soon realized upon inspecting the inside of your new home that there wasn't a toilet. There was, however, a bucket.

"Well..." He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck as he avoided the question. It didn't take much for you to put two and two together.

You gave him a look that was a cross between disgust and disbelief. "I can't pee in a bucket, Joe."

"I'm sorry, but I can't just let you out." He felt bad, sure, but he had to do this. He had to make sure that you were safe, even if it meant making you a little mad at him.

Crossing your arms, you turned in the opposite direction, refusing to look at him. Clearly you weren't too fond of your new living arrangements and were choosing to pout.

"Oh, come on, it isn't that bad," he lied upfront as he watched you. It was that bad, actually. Using a bucket to go to the bathroom was pretty gross.

And now he was starting to feel bad for putting you in this kind of situation. Anger was one thing, that he could handle. He could brace himself against that, or he rationalize away your worries or fears, but you seemed less genuinely upset and more annoyed than anything else.

He let out a heavy sigh as he contemplated his options. You were ignoring him, and he just couldn't have that. "If I let you out, you have to promise not to run away from me or anything like that. Understood?"

As if on cue, you turned back to face him again, a look of hope in your eyes. "Really?"

Joe tried not to let out a laugh when he saw you get close to the glass and press your face against it. "Yeah, really. Just- you have to move in with me. I don't want you living alone anymore. And I have to know where you are at all times."

Sure, he knew he could just follow you like usual, but he wanted you to be able to trust him. "And there's certain people that I don't want you hanging around anymore. Deal?"

Oh, god, what was he saying? This was going to be too much to put on you all at once. He should've just started with one small thing and gone from there, he shouldn't have given you an entire list-

"Deal."

Your voice instantly cut through his thoughts. Part of him wanted to believe you, even if he was a little suspicious that you'd agreed so quickly. Then again, you seemed so sincere, trusting even, observing him the same way anyone who truly loved their partner would: like he was the only thing that mattered.

"Could you let me out now? I really need to go pee."

Rolling his eyes, he made his way over to the door of the cage and unlocked it, letting you out. "Remember what I told you, alright? I don't want to have to put you back in there," he tried to make himself sound stern, to show you that he wasn't playing around when he said that.

To his surprise, you responded by giving him a hug. "You're such a sweetheart, caring about me so much," you muttered affectionately.

He couldn't stop himself from melting into your touch. If this was an act, it was certainly working.

"I'll never, ever leave you."

God, you were going to be the death of him. "And I'll never let you go," he promised in turn.

He really meant it when he said that. He was never going to let you go. Not that you seemed to mind.

End notes: I don't know if this is any good or not honestly. I really wanted to write something for Joe but I was kind of at a loss for what exactly to write about so 🤷 send me some ideas though if y'all want

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[bicheetopuff]

I think I am in the minority about this, but the thing that made me frustrated the most was when Katsuki and Izuku got punished and had to clean the dormitory, and it made me hate Katsuki because it was his fault.

Omg idk how I'm just now seeing this, I'm sorry for responding so late!

I understand that, when i watched it the first time it made me feel some type of way, but when they had their little civil talk about Izuku's shoot style, I stopped being mad pretty fast. Even back then, I actually thought it was a really sweet scene. But also the chapter in the light novel about them chasing around Koda's bunny really warmed me up to it too.

Also, it's like forced proximity but like, canon. The thought of them being in the dorms by themselves for two days just seems really funny to me. Like, do you think they played silly little pranks on each other. Like if Izuku cleaned a window, do you think Katsuki rubbed his fingers across it? Do you think they competed on who can clean one side of the dorms the fastest? Like, think of the potential!

[niredsw]

okay here goes nothing please dont be mad at me for this afterwards

i am so fucking tired of feeling left out in every. single. friendgroup. i'll ever have.

i just cant stop thinking "what if they hate me secretly" "they probably laugh behind me" "they probably talk about how annoying and stupid i am when im not there" and this one is pretty stupid but "what if they have another groupchat that im not in and they talk there all day and thats why they never talk to me" i know people said it a million times but i really cant stop thinking like this.

(you have every right to be mad for this part its not even a big thing why am i sad over this)

just today a new friend of mine decided to co peletely ignore my existence and talk with another friend of hers, and thats okay, really, she has other friends and i have other friends aswell, its okay. the thing is i went to her class to talk to her and she just walked beside me, exitted her class and went to mine to talk with her another friend. i know im short but like she shoul've seen me right? i dont know this feels so stupid when i say it out loud

then theres the server, dont get me wrong please i love every one of you so much its just im not active 24/7 and that makes me feel left out. there are certain people who are active all day or people that are loved by everyone and even if they wont answer for days everyone is always having fun with them, i know im not the best friend a person can ask for but i'm really trying my best and i just want to be loved the same amount as i love people, do i really want so much? its really stupid, really, but fuck it no one would probably even see this so fuck it we ball

today when the staff was talking about if we should invite someone or not, everyones opinion was asked, the people that didnt respond were tagged, but i wasnt. this is really really stupid but it just made me feel horrible, like i didnt matter

yeah i know its pretty stupid.

im just too scared that people will lost interest in me one day and i'll just be forgotten, ignored, not important anymore. im so scared we will have a huge fight over something stupid i said and never talk again, then after a few months someone will mention my name and people will just say "we were friends once, never liked her anyways"

i know its really stupid its just how i feel

i fucking hate my attachment issues. i spam people a lot amd then get sad when they dont respond, and i dont even know why i do it myself

im just an obsessive idiot whos always scared of people leaving her. but i never realize how annoying and stupid i sound and then i get sad when they leave me, even tho the signs were super obvious that we were drifting away

im sorry this is stupid i dont need any help i just needed to scream to the void

[seaoflove07]

Love Planted a Rose 🌹

~ Dark ~

• Artwork by The Drawables •

Full Art Cover and Story Description, Here.

OCXCanon. 🔪 Azusa & Christine’s Story. 🌹

Fan Fiction Written by Me.

Fandom: Diabolik Lovers.

Masterpost.

Christine was sitting in the bathtub with her arms wrapped around her legs. She was lost in her thoughts thinking of what happened last night with Azusa. All the things he told her. To him, pain makes him feel wanted and needed. What has this world done to him? To make him think this way. It's sad. Her mind is telling her to stay away from him, but she can't understand why her heart is aching for him. She wants to get to know him, to understand him. Even though she's very aware that's gonna cost her lots of pain. She wants to know his past, and she also wants to know how long has he been living in this world. So many questions she would love to ask him. But she knows he won't answer to any. She already tried, but he made it clear that his past doesn’t concern her. Yet he wants to know everything about her.

She touches her lips, Thinking about the way he kissed her with so much desperation.

Christine: (I haven’t kissed another man since Mark. I didn't think I would ever need that kiss, but I did, desperately like Azusa. His lips, his tongue, and his rough touches. They all felt good, even though my head was spinning and I struggled to catch up to him since I was very lightheaded. The way he got anxious when he thought I had a boyfriend back home. I'm starting to feel these butterflies in my stomach again. Why am I feeling this way? I can't let him get into my heart, I just can't. A human broke my heart to pieces, I can't imagine how much worse it will be with a vampire. It's already madness right now. Azusa is very scary at times, he almost killed me. All the physical pain Azusa has caused me and I haven’t been here long. I can’t imagine how it would be for the rest of the summer. My lips are swollen from that kiss, not just my lips, but my whole body hurts and I have so many bite marks and cuts from his knife...)

*Knock, Knock*

Azusa: “Rose-san… I'm coming in…”

Christine: “Azusa! I'm still in the bathtub, please get out.”

Azusa: “There’s so many bubbles in the bathtub… I can't see your body… So don't worry…”

Christine: “… Do you need something?”

Azusa: “Ruki told me... to give you… this medicine… he said… it will help you… feel better… here… I also brought you… water…”

- She drinks the medication -

Christine: “Thank you.”

Azusa: … …

Christine: “What's the matter?”

Azusa: “I can't stop… thinking about you… even when… I’m with my brothers… or when I'm alone… or cutting myself... or polishing my knives… and when I’m talking to Justin… your pretty face… always comes to my mind…”

Christine: !!!

(I can feel my cheeks flushed...)

“I-I have been thinking about you a lot too. I want to get to know you, Azusa.”

Azusa: “Eh…!? Really, Rose…?”

He moves closer to her and sits at the edge of the bathtub, neither say anything. Azusa caresses her cheek and stares deeply at her brown eyes.

Ruki: “Hmph, Azusa. I told you to only give her the medication and to come back quickly. Stop touching her and take your leave. You're already running late on the task that I asked you to do earlier.”

Azusa: “I’m sorry… I’ll go right now… I'll see you later… Rose…”

He gave her a cute smile and leaves the bathroom.

Ruki: “Livestock, hurry up with your bath and meet me at the library. I would like to discuss something with you.”

Christine: “Okay, I'll be out in a minute.”

*TimeSkip*

- At the Library -

Christine: “I'm here, Ruki.”

Ruki: “Good, you didn’t make me wait long. Take a seat.”

… …

“Livestock, you are going to be living in this manor all summer and I expect honesty. Tell me what you really are? And you better not lie to me.”

Christine: (His question took me by surprise…)

“What do you mean?”

He slams his fist on the table.

Ruki: “Dammit, Livestock. Don't play dumb with me! I had my familiar follow you. He said when you were at our swimming pool there was a blonde woman with a white dress inside the pool near you but disappeared quickly. Were you doing black magic? Are you a witch?”

Christine: !!

(So I'm not crazy and I didn't imagine it! I did see a reflection of myself under the pool…)

“I’m not lying and I'm not a witch! But I did see myself inside the pool last night and it scared me. When I started to scream underwater, Azusa got me out of the pool. I asked him if he saw anyone inside the pool but he said no. This has never happened to me before.”

Ruki: “I see. Thinking about it a Witch wouldn't have a similar blood scent to Eve. Did the figure say anything to you?”

Christine: “Yes… She said, “Soon, you will be me.”

“I-I don't understand the meaning of this. She did look exactly like me but when she gave me a sinister look it seemed inhuman.”

(Chills run down her spine just thinking about it…)

Ruki: “Whatever that thing was is probably your true form. Are you sure you don't know what that form is? Does your family have a history of mystical creatures?”

Christine: “What!? Of course not. We are all just humans and I don't possess any strength or magical powers. Ruki, please if you know anything about why I was sent here please tell me.”

Ruki: “That's information I want to know as well. None of us know why you were truly sent here, not even the Sakamakis. Your blood sent is similar to Eve's but I don't think this is about another sacrificial bride. You are valuable to that man. He has made it clear in reminder letters that he will kill anyone if they kill you, and this pool incident it's not a coincidence. I will still try my investigation to see what he really wants with you. If you experience another similar situation like this again I need you to tell me immediately, I am clear, Livestock?”

Christine: “What's the point in telling you if you are gonna have your familiars follow me anyways?”

Ruki: “Dammit, Livestock! You sure don't know how to shut your mouth and agree nicely like a good girl.”

Christine: “Because I am not a girl, I’m a woman!”

Ruki stands up and grabs her wrists pulling her up.

Ruki: “A woman you say? So you don't mind me being this close to you.”

He smirks.

Christine: “What the hell are you doing? Let go of me.”

Ruki: “Living in this manor, I don't care if it's temporary. You still are gonna follow my rules and I expect you to agree nicely with respect. I shall have no mercy next time you run your mouth. Understood?”

Christine: “Yes.”

(I'm trying to control my anger right now. I truly want to tell him to Fuck off!…)

Ruki: “Good, There is something else I want to ask you.”

He removes his hands from her wrists and steps back a bit.

“Are you seducing my younger brother?”

Christine: “Of course not! He's only after my blood and nothing else.”

Ruki: “Not true. You have him hypnotized. He’s never acted this way for a Livestock before. Have you hit and harmed him?”

Christine: “Not because I want to. Most of the time, he forces me to hurt him, and on some occasions I have, but it was for self-defense.”

Ruki: “Ha… I see. What are your thoughts on him?”

Christine: “I have mixed feelings for him… Sometimes, I'm afraid of him, wondering what he will do next. But other times, I kinda like his company. He does hurt me a lot but on some occasions, he's very sweet to me. I don't understand his full logic when it comes to pain. But to be honest, I want to get to know him and maybe become friends with him.”

Ruki: “Friends? Livestock, you really are foolish. Azusa won't settle for only friendship.”

Christine: “What do you mean?…”

Ruki: “Why don't you use that brain of yours? You truly are an airhead.”

Christine: … …

Ruki: I do find it interesting how obsessed Azusa is with you. Your blood probably is tasty to him but... There’s something more, I can feel it in your Aura. Azusa has been through a lot over the years and I worry to see my brother break because of you.”

Christine: ... ...

“Ruki... can you please tell me about Azusa’s past? I truly don’t want to hurt him. I want to get to know him and to help him. But for me to be able to help him I need to understand him. Please Ruki! Can you please tell me what caused him to self-harm?”

Ruki: “Why don’t you ask him this question yourself?”

Christine: “I did, but he told me it doesn't concern me. I just want to understand why he acts like this.”

Ruki: “Haah... Fine. I will tell you just this once. Azusa has never opened up too much about himself to us either. Even I have never fully understood how his brain works. From what I know, it has something to do with those kids from his childhood. Their names are Justin, Christina, and Melissa.”

Christine: (The names of his scars!…)

“He introduced his scars to me and they had those names.”

He nods.

Ruki: “He believes those three are his friends and will not let anyone treat his wounds so they do not disappear. From what he told us, those kids used to beat him up for fun daily until he started enjoying it and thought he was being useful to them. They then left him alone, thinking he was some kind of a weird kid. Those kids, later on, got killed because they were caught shoplifting. Seeing them dead traumatized him.”

Christine: “B-But Where were your parents? And he’s your younger brother, why did you guys allow this to happen? Why you guys didn’t help him? While he was getting bullied.”

Ruki: “Azusa since childhood he was wandering around in the streets. His parents abandoned him. We are not blood brothers. After the death of Justin, Christina, and Melissa. Azusa was sent to the orphanage and that’s where we all met. Kou and Yuma too. Ever since then, we became brothers.”

... ...

“That will be all the information that I will tell you. You are even lucky that I even told you this much.”

Christine: (My heart hurts for Azusa and for the brothers. Even though Ruki didn't mention the full story, by them meeting each other at the orphanage they all probably had a bad childhood...)

“I appreciate you telling me this. I won't bother you anymore. I'll be taking my leave now and will start my shift.”

Ruki: “Wait, Livestock. I am not done talking to you. Tomorrow, Kou will be the one to accompany you to the Sakamakis. I have other matters to take care of. Don’t be dumb and behave around the brothers and try not to get yourself killed this time.”

Christine: “Okay… I will watch my back.”

Ruki: “That will be all, you may take your leave and start your shift.”

*TimeSkip*

After Christine completed her work shift she took another bath and finished brushing her long blonde hair, lastly, she sprayed herself with her favorite perfume, Coco Mademoiselle by Chanel. She loves the perfume so much that she wears it all the time even before bedtime. She couldn’t stop thinking about Azusa. She feels so sad for him and her chest keeps hurting every time she thinks about what Ruki told her. Azusa truly must have felt so lonely to the point he wanted to be useful to his bullies who were beating him up all the time. Now she understands why he asks her to give him pain. Christine felt tears running down her cheeks. The fact that he also was abandoned in the streets by his parents. How cruel and sad! He must have been scared, cold, and hungry. More tears keep coming out of Christine’s eyes. She grabbed a tissue to clean her face and tried to calm down. She needed to occupy her mind so she decided to read her favorite novel Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin. Christine has lost count of the number of times she has read this story. She needed to distract herself and take Azusa off her mind. She went to grab the book and flinched when she heard a knock on her door.

Christine: “Who is it?”

… …

(Whoever it is they are not responding…)

She moved closer and hesitated to open the door.

“Is someone there?”

(She can hear someone chatter through the door…)

- She opens the door -

Christine: “Azusa! Did something happen?”

(He's shaking and sweating. He looks really sad…)

She cupped his cheeks.

Azusa: “Rose-san… can I sleep in your bed… I don't want to be alone… right now…”

She nods.

Christine: “Come in… Can I get you water? I can go grab it really quick in the kitchen.”

Azusa: “No… just lay down next to me… please... don’t leave me... alone...”

Christine: (He looks so anxious! I’m so worried about him right now…)

She takes his hand and leads him to her bed.

“Lay down, Azusa… I promise I'll stay by your side.”

- They both lay down on the bed, staring at each other -

Christine: “What happened…?”

Azusa: … …

“I had a nightmare… and when I woke up… I needed to see you…”

Christine: “What was the nightmare about?”

Azusa: … …

“I already forgot…”

Christine: “What!? How is that possible?”

Azusa: “I already said… I have forgotten about it… so you don't need to worry…”

Christine: … …

(He has tears in his eyes, she knows he's lying…)

“Azusa… I won’t force you to tell me. But… I want to let you know… that I'll listen to you if you ever want to talk about anything that's on your mind. I'll be here for you. You're not alone…”

- She cups his cheek -

• Artwork by @yuma-mukami-garden-god •

Azusa: !!

“Rose…”

(Her beautiful smile and gentle touch warms my heart. Her hand is so soft, like rose petals from the garden....)

“I’m feeling calmer now… that I'm here with you…”

- He places his hand on top of hers and smells her wrist -

“Your flowery scent… is also calming to me… I’m glad… you came into my life… Rose…”

Christine: “Really?”

He nods.

Azusa: “Can I … suck your blood…? I’m thirsty… from all the sweating…”

Christine: (If my blood will calm him and make him feel better than he can have it…)

“Yes, Azusa… Go ahead.”

She closes her eyes, waiting for the strike of pain.

Azusa: “Look at me…”

He sinks his fangs into her wrist.

*Slurp*

Christine: “Azu…”

Azusa: “Ah… so sweet… and… I love that look… on your face… I'll bite you more…”

*Gulp*

Christine: “Azu… doesn't my perfume bother you? I feel like the taste of a perfume won't be pleasing.”

- He licks the bite mark -

Azusa: “It tastes delicious… your floral scent… mixed with the scent of your blood… is heavenly addicting…”

He planted a kiss on her wrist.

Azusa: “I like that you are calling me… “Azu…” hehe… Keep calling me that, okay…? Now let me hold you tight…”

- He embraced her -

“The warmth of your body… feels nice… it takes all my worries away….”

Christine: (I can feel both our hearts pounding with his tight embrace…)

“I’m glad you feel that way Azu. I hope you have a sweet dream this time.”

Azusa: … Zzz… Zzz…

Christine: (He fell asleep immediately. Azusa’s temperature is so cold but I don't dislike it. His scent is nice too. His scent is a mix of fruity black tea with hints of florals. I should move and give us space but the truth is… I want to be locked in his arms, it feels nice. His expression looks peaceful now. I truly hope he has a better dream this time…)

She runs her fingers through his dark greenish hair.

(If Helping him by doing these things for him, I hope he can trust me one day and open up to me…)

Christine: “I hope… you let me cure your scars, Azusa.”

She buries her face on his chest and closes her eyes.

- TO BE CONTINUED -

• Artwork by MonMonArtz •

[angelsdean]

ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

trying to finish reading dungeon meshi now that it's done and just seeing everyone in the comments talking about ships. gun to my head

[finexbright]

.

[buttercup-art]

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH OMG OMG OMG-

[spaghetticat3899]

When you absolutely despise something a lot of people like, and no matter what way you look at it you cannot see the appeal, but you know you can’t talk about it in public or else you’ll get dogpiled to hell and back, so you just kinda sit there frothing at the mouth like this

[riseoftherose]

ok update on atla netflix: started final episode, it opens with the attack on the north. its pretty freaking great. frame for frame accurate w the show, and (other than some so so costuming choices, or a few fight-bending scenes with lower budgets) the only changes so far have been for the better

its- wow

its good

katara needs to go apeshit have have some more backbone fr, yue's costuming is god awful im so sorry amber midthunder queen you deserved better, and the overall customing for the northern watertribe is giving lowkey halloween/live action fmab but everything else??? top tier

[averlym]

which is gayer? SIX or Adamandi (real)

adamandi

[cuteniarose]

who's lien-hua??

Short answer: My absolute child and the only OC I have cried genuine, REAL tears over. And not tearing up or sniffling a little, full on SOBS. Kat still owes me emotional compensation for that one 😤😤

Long answer: She's one of @katkastrofa’s OCs that I now have partial custody of. P'Li's little sister, born in 136 AG, a sweet cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure, no matter how damn overused that phrase is, it still fits her 🥺🥺🥺 When drawing her last year I accidentally made her look a lot like my friend's little sister so now I am always extra soft about her. But considering what happens, you can imagine the level of emotional devastation this is causing me and just how much this has affected my ability to look at Katya the same way ever again. Doesn't help that her older sister has an annoying tendency to wear her waist length hair in a brushed back braid...

Anyway, for reference, the baby girl, sweet girl herself, from about July 2023:

And now that you have been fully taken with this precious thing's cuteness, it is imperative I let you know that she is killed at age 7 by the warlord who tried to turn P'Li into a living weapon 😐

She's the living embodiment of a tragedy, a child born to be collateral damage, the one who could not be saved no matter what was done, the "it was always going to end this way" half of the tragedy dichotomy. A little girl unjustly killed as punishment for her sister not wanting to become a warlord's weapon, forever remaining as nothing more but a hazy memory of someone to protect. And I'm gonna stop now because I will start crying again, istg–

(There is a verse where she lives, though that is part of a much larger AU that can basically be summed up as "completely self indulgent mishmash of ideas, everybody lives/nobody dies, sunshine and rainbows and peace on earth, unless you're a world leader, then RIP", or as we like to call it, the Ultimate AU, because we never came up with a better name :P But getting into it would take too long and there really isn't too much to explain since it lacks a cohesive plot and is more a bunch of family shenanigans thrown together, so... moving on)

In Kat's fic Lost and Found the memory of Lien-Hua is the driving force behind all of P'Li's decisions, and she constantly blames herself for not having been able to save her (despite the fact she was a child herself, no older than 13), right up until the very end where she.. doesn't really get closure, per se, but is able to let Lien go, in the scene which I have affectionately dubbed "F.C. Yee owes Kat major royalties for this one, holy hell" #ifyouknowyouknow. But also Lien is a point of some interpersonal conflict since no one else can quite relate to P'Li in this case. Ming-Hua (while not present in LaF) is an only child, Zaheer is the youngest of three and was never close with his sisters, and Ghazan... well, his sister is two separate cans of worms depending on whether you're talking about Haya or Zada. Some pretty interesting stuff overall, really scratches my soft spot for family related dealings in fics, and I can't believe I just realised that P'Li's the only non-youngest child in the RL foursome, huh. It's oddly fitting, in a way, at least in my opinion

Oh, and also, Midori is a reincarnation of Lien-Hua :)

[welcometogrouchland]

I get the impression that money was a bit tight on clouds on the horizon in general, what with the uneven time put into the lumity kiss vs the hexsquads fight outside blight manner w/ the infamous cha cha slide, plus background details going wonky (like baloony hunter), but my favourite semi-wonky frames are the closeups on Hunters face when he's talking with Luz about him being a grimwalker.

bc the proportions are just. So funny to me. Why is his nose so long. Why are his eyes in the middle of his face. When did his forehead get so big. What's happening. Did I die. Is this purgatory. I unironically love this bc it reminds me that this show was made by people who were trying their best. And sometimes their best looks the Bunter Vs hexsquad fight in thanks to them and other times it looks like this

[ID: a screenshot of a close-up on Hunters face from clouds on the horizon. The placement and proportions of his face are slightly off. End ID]

(although in searching for this image I was informed that a different studio than normal animated clouds on the horizon. Which is probably at least part of the reason why there's so many bungled frames. Also probably why the cha cha slide got animated the way it did. God I love animation)

[narastories]

OH SHIT

Help I did not realize that pleasant voice behind Enzo was also Shai Matheson lmfao