#i'm so sorry about the typo

[polkadotjohnson]

AfrAId (2024) (1/3)

[buggachat]

To be clear, I goddamn hated the finale on first watch. I was withering in my seat. My heart had dropped to my stomach. I had no fucking idea what I was watching in that final scene lmao

and then Adrien said "when Ladybug gave me the rings—" and I was like— wait. LADYBUG? LADYBUG STILL EXISTS?

I THOUGHT THE ENTIRE TIMELINE HAD BEEN REWRITTEN 😭😭😭😭 I THOUGHT LADYBUG AND CHATN OIR DIDNT UFCKING EXIST uNTIL ADRIEN SAID THAT I WAS SO SO SO SCARED

and then I realized, oh wait. This isn't a complete utopian timeline rewrite. This is just a timeskip of a few months and Mme Bustier is just a kickass mayor. In fact, she's only mayor BECAUSE it's still the same timeline. And then I realized, hey, wait, if they didn't rewrite the timeline, then how tf is Emilie casually there with no questions?

And then I realized she was wearing black. And Félix was there. And I remembered Amelie exists.

Basically, I went into the finale chanting to myself "it's okay, it's okay... they probably wont bring Emilie back... they probably won't rewrite the entire timeline permanently.... right? please....", even though I didn't actually expect it to happen, but just because I was terrified that it could. And apparently that fear actually got to me so much that I misinterpreted the episode as being everything I didn't want it to be... when... it actually wasn't that at all

anyway, all of this is to say, everything in the episode happens so fast that it confused and terrified me at first. And when I realized what had happened, my opinion went from "my year is ruined" to "oh. well. okay. kind of disappointing, I guess". And then I kept thinking about it, and the ending, and all that is set up and rewatching the scenes and all the loose ends still in place and.... i realized I loved it?

like, every time I think about this finale, I love it more. every time i rewatch a scene, I get a little obsessed. this episode went from my nightmare to actually really really cool to me, and I'm still kind of reeling from it

Basically, this is why I've been kind of passionately defending the finale— not because I think people who don't like it are """dumb""" or anything, I don't blame people at all for that, and I totally get the confusion. I was confused too. And I know I'm not the only one who went in preparing themselves for the worst, or went in with very specific expectation on what will happen, because this finale has been long awaited for so long. I think everyone was shocked with how it ended. I think most people probably startled at Amelie's face (it's so easy to forget she exists....)

Anyways, I started this post basically as an apology for if I seem too aggressive or defensive about the finale. Because I get it! I get hating it! I get being disappointed or frustrated or confused! Part of why I'm so defensive is because I have all the arguments so ready on the tip of my tongue because I had the very same argument with myself already 😭 So I'm sorry if any of my posts came off as too aggressive and in advance for any future posts that might. I promise promise promise I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for having bad opinions on the finale! I just think this episode is really cool and the fact I related to a lot of the nay-sayers makes it easy to feel so impassioned about it.

But this post is getting off the rails and I'm just gonna let it, because some of my regrets w my participation in fandom is that I find myself chickening out of actually talking about my thoughts on episodes a lot. I get kind of overwhelmed and overthink everything after I've posted it and I'm a shy person. But my inbox is closed and this is the season 5 finale and I want to ramble and ramble so I will allow myself this

Basically, I went in with some very specific expectations for this episode. We all know about the Hawkmoth defeat story. Many of us have read it in fics over and over again, it was teased in Chat Blanc, we all know what we expect, we all know our favorite beats from it.

And what actually happened....... met virtually none of those beats. (For me, at least).

Like, Adrien wasn't there for the final episode. At all. He was completely absent from the confrontation. He never found out his father was Hawkmoth. He got his rings, but he never found out he was a sentimonster. He is living in the dark.

Ladybug confronted Monarch... alone. Which is sad, when so much of the series is dedicated to the partnership of her and Chat Noir. Them against the world....... and Monarch was "defeated" with nary a Chat Noir in sight.

The whole entire "Gabriel is known as a hero" thing. I don't think anybody was expecting that. Absolutely shocking.

The fact Marinette would lie to Adrien like that. The fact she's keeping so much from him. The fact everyone is. SO MANY people in Adrien's life (Marinette, Plagg, Nathalie, Felix, Amelie, Kagami, probably Alya, maybe more I'm not thinking of....) are just... lying to him, now. He is so in the dark. He knows nothing.

But.........

I kind of like that I didn't predict nearly any of this. I like that it caught me off guard. I love how this show just completely baffles me at every turn, how it will present concepts and ideas to me that I've never read a fic about.

In retrospect, Chat Noir being absent from the final battle... makes sense. It actually makes a lot of sense, if I think about it, because... there is only one possible way that could've gone, right? Chat Noir would not be allowed to have the emotional implosion that he would have to have. This is devastating. This is SO devastating. This is the entire shattering of Adrien's entire world we're talking about, and Chat Blanc is the only real way for that to end. Adrien has an emotional implosion in front of Monarch, he gets akumatized, it turns into an emotion explosion, extinction event. The end. We've already seen it.

And........ even if it didn't end that way, even if he managed to avoid akumatization...... how could the finale satisfyingly end on that note? How could it end in any semblance of a "wrapped up" way, at the very start of Adrien's emotional breakdown? It couldn't. I wouldn't WANT it to. In retrospect, Adrien finding out his dad is Monarch and then.... what? The season ends on a close-up of him crying? The season ends with a time-skip to the new school year where they skipped his entire grieving period!? I would HATE that, actually. I would hate that. I thought I wanted it, but I would hate it. I would hate it so so so much.

What's kind of amazing is that the finale ended with Monarch being defeated.... but Adrien still has those realizations to make. He still has those betrayals to come to terms with. There is time for him to make these realizations, for him to come to these conclusions, perhaps one at a time, perhaps in a more controlled environment.... and that gets me far, far more excited for the seasons to come than an episode that tried to wrap it all up in the last 5 minutes.

Also, the reason Adrien didn't go to the final battle was because he feared becoming Chat Blanc. He didn't know the truth to it, didn't understand that literally, yes, that's what would have happened if he was there, even if he hadn't been under a nightmare curse. But he still knew. He still expected it. He willingly chose to sit it out, no matter how much he hated it, because he knew. And there's something kind of powerful to that, I think, of Adrien making a choice that is so unequivocally the Correct choice, even more than he realized. And the strength it took for him to make that decision...... damn.

As for the lies and the Gabriel statue? I... it's upsetting, but it's supposed to be. And I believe it. I absolutely believe it. I 10000% believe Marinette would keep the secret of Monarch's identity to herself to try to save Adrien the pain. I 10000% believe that the population could easily be led to believe a famous billionaire is a hero. I 10000% believe that Adrien would WANT to believe it. I 10000% believe Tomoe would take advantage of it.

And I can't wait to see that illusion crumble.

Also.... this is the beginning of The Lila arc.

And the Lila arc begins on........ Marinette telling the biggest, boldest face lie she ever told. The Lila arc begins on the most extreme city-wide illusion we've ever seen. It begins on such a huge fabrication and....

..... it's Marinette's lie.

............ and Lila knows that it's a lie.

I'm

!!?!?!?!

This is so fucking cool???? The irony here??? the deceit???? All these loose ends, all the possible confrontations, all the ways this could GO. I don't know where the show is taking this, obviously, because nobody ever can predict where this show is going apparently (and I love it for that), but oh my god. I'm imagining all the fics I could read about this. all the fics I could write. all the thoughts and scenarios that this finale has provided me with to daydream about as I go to sleep.

Adrien, going through the motions of life. Looking up to his father as a hero, despite the fact the last time he saw him, Adrien was sobbing, in tears, and cursing his name. Adrien, after all the abuse he was subject to, having to look up at a statue of his father and...... be forced to think that maybe he was wrong about his father. But he's not wrong. He WASN'T wrong. He just THINKS that he is. His father is going to continue to loom over his life in ways I never expected post-hawkmoth. Adrien's relationship with Gabriel has not ended, a new and terrifying and horrible new chapter of it has simply begun, and Adrien is still as manipulated by his father's ghost as he was by his father himself.

THAT'S. WILD!!!

also, Adrien now believes that MONARCH MURDERED HIS FATHER. Chat Noir now believes that his greatest nemesis KILLED HIS FATHER. CHAT NOIR, resident self-sacrificer, believes that HIS FATHER was a HERO who DIED FIGHTING MONARCH. Adrien thinks that maybe he should be more like his father— more like his father who died in battle. This is. Not Good. For Adrien.

And it's Marinette that started this. Well intentioned Marinette, who doesn't really understand the extent of the horrors. Marinette, Adrien's girlfriend, the person he trusts most. She did this.

And, I mean.... god. I totally get how this sucks for a lot of people, because it's objectively upsetting.... but I LOVE lovesquare tension. Season 4 is probably my favorite season for that reason alone (still mulling over if season 5 beat it for me). I love the relationship drama, I love that it's in character drama, I love how it fits everything we know about them sososo well, I love that it's horrible and it's terrible and it's awful and it's all because Marinette loved Adrien too much to want to hurt him.

I was worried no reveal would mean that season 6 would just be... what? adrienette fluff? not that I don't love that, but where's the drama? well. there it is. that's the drama.

I need to stop typing this. I know this is abysmally long and ranty and if you read all of this then I'm sorry. But I wanted to get some of my thoughts out.

But basically, I was expecting a lot of things for the finale.

In my best case scenario, it would somehow, miraculously tie up and address all the loose ends with Adrien's angst and character arc in two episodes.... and then end with me totally satisfied, ready to only half-heartedly watch season 6 like it was just a small dessert after the main course.

And I already described my worst case scenario (my first impression of the episode lmao)

But it wasn't that. I was expecting a series finale, but I got a season finale. And I love season finales. I love how they keep me wanting more. I love how excited I am for season 6, because in both my best and worst case scenarios, I honestly didn't expect to be. I love all the new ideas and thoughts and scenarios swirling around in my brain. And even if season 6 doesn't address some of the things I want addressed, I'm so excited to see the creative content in this fandom that DOES

[lagunapoint]

I’m thinking about Solas sitting next to an elven girl he doesn’t know, making sure she regains consciousness. Taking care of her, he notices a mark on her hand, an energy far too familiar, almost as if it came from his orb. And now she’s fighting for her life, remaining unconscious for days after physically passing through the Fade, what they say. He didn’t see it happen, but he has to believe it.

He must have recognized the energy of the orb from the very beginning, he knew what the Breach was from the start. He knew the orb was with Corypheus. From the very beginning. But.

He couldn’t have known why the divine mark of his people’s power ended up in the hands of this poor girl who had been to the Fade. Did he wonder if she was part of the Fade’s power, something even he didn’t understand? Did he consider the possibility that she was a spirit taking physical form, stepping into the world like he once did?

I think about how not knowing must have been an enormous trigger for Solas. He must have been burning with questions while Lavellan slept. And I can’t help but romanticize the idea that, in his mind, he crafted a story where she was a spirit, one that bent the very nature of the Fade to her will, creating an artifact of her own, like his orb, but something else entirely. But the ritual of her manifestation, her divine force, was interrupted, and she was simply thrown out of the Fade.

And I love that having someone else, someone even slightly like him, made his time in the camp a little easier… more comfortable? And then she wakes up, she runs, and he sees her - fighting, fearless - and he wonders how so much power can exist in such a fragile body.

And then he grabs her wrist, reaches for the Breach alongside her. They are united in this movement, as if they were one whole. And the way he does it, it’s so instinctive, like he’s been waiting for this moment all along and just couldn’t hold back anymore.

And imagine if he expected this gesture to mean something to her. What if he had already built an image of her in his mind, imagining an elf who, against all odds, crossed time, the Fade, and the very essence of existence itself? But she doesn’t understand. She asks him what he’s doing. And he is completely stunned.

"I did nothing."

She looks at her hand as if it belongs to someone else and immediately turns to him for answers, despite not even knowing who he is. And this changes his entire perception of her, raising even more questions, even more interest, leading to the cherished vhenan on a half-exhale, half-whisper, half-yearning, half-pain, but full of love against all odds💚

[itsapipedream]

Finished The golden raven and I'm here to vomit everything I'm feeling.

I will say it just in case but this will have spoilers, big small and everything in between. This is a warning.

So....SO. This is not gonna make sense or be organized or have any coherence at all, I just need to write before I burst from how much I feel about everyone in this book.

Let me start with the biggest change in how I thought before vs now after reading it.

Kevin and jean's relationship, a few days ago I said I could see how people ship them so much because their relationship is so complex and charged with their history in the nest and the broken promises and the secret learning of a language Riko could not understand to scape that hell on earth.

They clearly care for each other, you can see how much Jean loves him and hates him, how important he is still.

And then Nora comes here and gives me THIS and I thought "oh no no no, they behave like brothers. They totally feel like family"

This leads to probably the biggest surprise to me (completely aware I'm probably yhe only one thinking this) because call me clueless but I totally thought Jean only found Jeremy attractive (him having two working eyes and good taste) and nothing else but the fact that he's had a crush on him so huge Riko knew about it caught me so off guard I need to put the book down for like 5 minutes and scream into the pillow to calm down because WHAT WHAT WHAT do you mean he's being thinking about him for YEARS and he goes there when he's asked about HAVING LOVED SOMEONE BEFORE LIKE????????????

So yeah, that was a big moment for me and I haven'te being able to stop thinking about since.

I was right when I said Jean was born for love and this book proves it. The easy way he fall into the tronjans dynamic, the mutual respect of boundaries and personalities, the palpable care everyone have for each other. How you can see Jean's silent kindness from time to time.

His relationship with Cat is probably my favorite thing in the whole thing. She's so atuned with him and catches so fast how Jean needs comfort and seeks it from touch (from them). How Jean doubts only for a minute and comforts her the same way during the game...

And then you have Laila and Jean and how tender their relationship is, how she's an unmovable and strong pilar in his life, stable enough for him to open a little about Elodie, gentle enough to voice his wants.

The turning point of the book, Jean's breakdown after his confortation with Zane was the second time I've cried with this series (the first being when Neil came back from the Nest and asked for help from Wymack) It was so.... cathartic and hearbreaking and so necessary. Powerful enough to make him start considering what happened to him as something unfair, something wrong. Rhemann being there to make possible for him to start having a voice.

I will repeat myself over and over but the kindness of the book is disarming. You can see it in Jean's childish wonder for the world, in him loving peaches and wanting to grow them on his own, in Cat and him cooking togehter, in the whole group adoring him and not buying into the angry façade and accepting him and his circumstances.

The building up for Jeremy and Jean confessing their feelings for each other is so good, there's so much tension there I'm pretty aware it will kill me but also I need the third book for yesterday. Same way Neil and Andrew were what they need to be able to open up enough to let the other in without being aware it was happening, I'm sure Jean is what Jeremy needs and viceversa.

On one hand you have someone that only sees and cares for the person Jeremy is, not even his surname or what his family is or does, Jean is someone that will give him the same space he needs when it comes to their painful spots. They lie they same way, leaving an open for the other person to have the hope they need to feel when comfronting them. Jean is also someone that can and will carry Jeremy's past without shame or reproach.

On the other hand you have Jeremy being brighter than the sun and quite literally, shining a light into Jean's life (not only now but for years) someone that will show you how comitted he's to him openly, that will fight for him and let him know, give him space to express himself.

There's so much adoration throughout the whole story is overwhelming.

I will say only one more thing, Neil and Andrew being there for more than 1 scene made me so so happy, I do love them with my whole heart...

[bellysoupset]

Breaking it Down

This happens directly after the Superbowl!

---------

After what Vince could only describe as the weekend from hell, he was back in Doveport. Abdomen sore and several shades too pale, with dark circles under his eyes, that was how Max found him holing up in the teacher's lounge during lunch hour Monday.

"Did you get the flu again?" The blonde asked in a frustrated tone, planting his hands on his hips and raising his eyebrows. Max had clearly been looking for him, since lunch had started fifteen minutes before and he should've been in the cafeteria along with the other teachers.

"No," Vince rubbed his face, sitting on the couch, "just had a rough weekend."

That was one way to put it. He still wasn't sure what to do with himself or all the information he had acquired the previous day. He had fucked up his friendship so royally that Luke no longer thought they were friends. There was a pang deep in his stomach, like a stab.

"...Do you wanna talk about it?" Max, whom Vince had forgotten was in the room, asked quietly. It was unlike him to be this soft and he was grimacing at his own tone, but Vince appreciated it nonetheless.

"No," Vince answered, against his own instincts. Normally, he'd be ready to pour his heart out to any of his friends, but this was about Lucas... And it felt wrong to talk about it with Max. He leaned on the sofa, elbows planted on his knees and staring ahead, "you should go have lunch, I'm fine."

"I'm going," Max agreed, then hesitated mid step, scratching at his auburn beard as he always did when nervous. He was still limping around with that damn crutch, it was almost a weapon under his arm, given how carelessly Max used it to gesture, "do you wanna grab a beer after work?"

Vince mulled over it, before nodding, "yeah, that'd be great."

Whoever said only romantic love could cause heartbreak was a fool. All of his classes were a blur and Vince spent any free minute of his day going over his text history with Luke. The last message was from Saturday, Luke confirming if they were coming over for the Superbowl.

Looking at the texts, it didn't seem they were estranged. Or at least, they hadn't seemed like that to Vin before, but now that he was paying much more attention, he could tell their conversations were either initiated by Vince or they were Luke communicating him of something. Telling him Wendy had fallen ill and they had all been at her apartment. Telling him about a sales at their favorite bookstore. Asking if he'd come over for Superbowl.

Not a single mention about the fact he was moving houses or the horrible loss Luke and Bell had just gone through. A simple "arrived safe" after he had gone home after their fight in Doveport, followed by two days of silence that Vince had easily dismissed as Luke still not feeling a hundred percent.

Vince felt like an idiot.

"Hey," Sophia walked closer, excitement causing her to bounce on her feet, "mamma asked if you're coming over for dinner tonight."

"Nope," Vince lowered his phone, guilt still churning deep in his stomach, "I'm going out with Daniels."

"Okay," Sophia shrugged, "but tomorrow can you come over? I wanted to tell you about B.U..."

Oh shit, he had forgotten all about that, "I'll do you one better," he offered, "I'm gonna take you out for dinner tomorrow, deal? A real dinner."

Soph's frown, which seemed permanently etched on her face, vanished for a split second, "a real dinner? How so..."

"It's my duty as your older brother to take you on a real dinner so you're not impressed by the first simpleton in Boston who takes you to a fancy restaurant," Vince smiled as he saw Sophia's eyes light up at the opportunity to wear makeup and heels.

"Alright," her voice was a whole note higher, trying and failing not to sound giddy, "deal!"

Damn he was going to miss his family, Vince thought as Sophia turned around and all but skipped back to her group of mean girls and they started whispering together.

After his last class, he swung by the kindergarten. His classes with the kids were the first of the day, but Vince had missed it since he had been driving over, so he hadn't seen Livia just yet. He hung by the door, arms crossed and waiting as the Math teacher instructed them to show their agendas to their parents.

Livia didn't see him as they finished up putting away their books and packing their backpacks. How did she overlook him when he occupied half the doorway, even leaning his body out, Vince wasn't sure.

"Liv, look who came to pick you up!" The teacher, Ms. Hollis, a ginger with a round face covered in freckles, pointed at him and Livia perked up, rushing to him.

She wasn't a toddler anymore for Vince to scoop her up, but he did it anyways, grabbing her by the armpits and throwing her up in the air like he did back when she was three, grinning as she exploded in giggles.

"What are you doing here?!" She threw her arms around his neck and Ms. Hollis, blushing all the way to the root of her hair, passed Vince the abandoned backpack.

"Thanks you," Vince smiled at the teacher, before pressing a kiss to Livia's cheek, "I missed you! How was your weekend?"

He took his sweet time to walk to the parking lot, listening attentively as Livia blabbed away about her weekend and how Soph had come back home and wouldn't shut up. He wondered if Liv had come to terms Soph would be leaving soon, if anyone had disclosed these news to her, and his own heart squeezed as he thought of the fact he'd be moving out just as soon.

"There you are!" Ma was waiting for them in the parking lot, near the closed car since Vince still had the keys. He opened the car, handing his mother the keys and she frowned as her eyes paused on Vin's face. Sophia was nowhere in sight, since she had cheerleader practice, "was your brother keeping you after class?"

"We were chatting!" Liv explained, jumping from his arms and climbing on the backseat, making grabby hands for her backpack.

"What's wrong?" Ma whispered, as Vince passed Liv her bag and pressed a kiss on the top of her curls, straightening up next to the car.

"Just tired," he lied and his mom squinted at him, not buying it.

"You look sick, Vicenzo."

"Ate something off at Luke's," Vince answered diplomatically, technically it was the truth, "threw up a lot yesterday."

"Oh no," Ma took a step closer, hands stretched out as if she wanted to embrace him like he was Liv's age and not twice her size and a grown man, "are you feeling better now?" her hands cupped his cheek.

"I'm fine," Vince, held her wrists, forcing up a smile, "Wendy and Leo were the only ones left standing."

"Are the others alright?" Ma's frown deepened, "Sophia said you're going out with Max, is that wise when you were just sick?"

"I'm fine, ma," Vince held both her hands in one of his, planting a kiss on her knuckles, "the others are fine too. I'll stop by this week, we have to celebrate. I got the job!"

"You did!?" Ma jumped to hug him, but even then Vince had to crouch down to hug her back. He tipped his body back, taking his mom off her feet and causing her to squeal, squeezing him even more.

"Babbo will be so happy, can I tell him or do you want to?"

"You can tell him, ma," Vince planted her back on the ground and saw Max hanging awkwardly by his white pick-up, probably unsure if they still were going out, "I gotta go."

"Take care of yourself, cucciolo, you look awful," Ma sighed, but waved him away.

Max had already fished out a cigarette from his pack and was sitting on the driver's seat, with his door throw open as he watched Vince say goodbye to his family and then jog to him.

"Mamma Monacelli was grilling you because you look like death?" Max guessed, waving to the older woman as Ma looked their way as if she could sense they were talking about her.

"Of course," Vince rolled his eyes, then frowned, "why the hell did you drive- HOW did you drive here!? Your foot is broken!"

"Ankle," Max wrinkled his nose, "and only one, I don't need both to drive, my car is automatic."

"You're ridiculous," Vince groaned, shooing him to the passenger seat, "that fucking ankle will never heal if you keep moving around like that..."

"I'm touched, you care," Max said sardonically, dramatically clutching his chest and causing Vince to shove his shoulder, pushing him further inside the car.

He fiddled with the driver seat, glaring at Max as he did that, "put that garbage out," he gestured to the cigarette and the blonde scoffed, blowing out a little ring of smoke as they drove off the parking lot.

"I can't do shit around here," Max grumbled, poking the ring with his cigarette and eying Vince up and down, "I'll have you know I have a medical permit."

"This is not weed, Max," Vince snorted, unable to fight a smile, "and you don't have a medical permit for that either."

He didn't drive far, back to Stache's, the pub that was just on the corner of Max's place.

"I can do it myself," Max shrugged off his hands as Vince tried to help him up, wincing as he got on his feet, wobbling on top of the crutch. They walked to one of the side of the street tables, instead of going in and he went down with a sigh, rubbing his knee and thigh on the hurt leg.

"Are you in pain?" Vince asked, as he dropped his bag on the opposite free chair and got up to grab them beer.

"Nope, peachy," Max all but lied. Vince walked away, waving at the owner behind the counter and grabbing the glass bottles in the fridge, before returning to the table.

Max had lit up another cigarette, but now they were in the open instead of the closed car and there was a breeze blowing the smoke away from Vince's face, so he didn't give him much grief besides glaring at the cig.

He sat back down and all but chugged his beer, while Max watched him attentively, "alright, spill. What happened? Is this because the semester is almost over?"

Vin snorted, shaking his head and wrinkling his nose as beer ran down his chin, wiping it on the back of his hand, "nah..." he muffled a little burp against his fist and leaned back on his chair, "just a rough-"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard it the first time around," Max rolled his eyes, clearly not buying it, "troubles in paradise?"

Vince opened a little smug smile, "you wish Daniels," he teased, "nope, Wendy and I are fine."

Max wiped an imaginary tear, "and here I thought it was time to shoot my shot," he mocked right back, although a blush was crawling up his cheeks, "alright, don't tell me. Let me run my speech by you-"

"Your speech?" Vince's shoulders dropped as he relaxed and Max nodded, reaching in the pocket of his jeans for a crumpled piece of paper.

"For the prom," he explained, clearing his throat and starting to read.

Normally, it was incredibly easy to let concern slip from his mind, allow Max to pull him in with his sarcastic jokes and long rants. Max wasn't a really talkative guy, not like Luke was, but now Vince figured they were close enough that he wanted to talk about everything and anything.

However, today not even Max's excitement was doing much of a dent in Vince's bad humor. He was constantly zoning out, thoughts drifting back to the shreds of conversation he could remember from the previous day, most of it buried under the food poisoning's nausea. Luke saying they were best friends, using the past tense, was causing Vince's skin to crawl.

"Hellooo-" Max waved before his eyes and Vince blinked, shaking his head.

"Fuck, I'm sorry-" he rubbed at his face, tiredly and then took another swing at his beer, "I'm sorry, I'm shitty company right now. You should go home-"

"So I can sit there staring at the walls?" Max rolled his eyes, "I'd rather be here, shitty company and all."

Something settled deep in his stomach, heavy like a brick, fluttering like butterflies. Max wanted his company and it was flattering and incredibly nice to hear after the past 24 hours, but just as terrifying. Because he was about to fuck it up too...

"I'm leaving," Vince blurted out and Max's eyebrows jumped up, as he choked on his beer and angrily grabbed a handful of paper napkins to wipe his chin.

"You-" he coughed, "what? Now?! What did I say?!"

"No," Vince's hands were sweating and he wiped them on his pants, feeling that cold, freezing sensation take over his stomach, like the seconds just before a rollercoaster drop, "I'm leaving Doveport. Uhm- A week after the semester ends, so next- Next month..."

"Oh," Max lowered his beer bottle back to the table and stopped coughing softly, freezing in place, "uh- Okay... Uhm-" he scratched nervously at his beard, "I'm assuming you're moving in with your girl?"

Vince nodded, "yes, back in Welton... I got a job already lined up, Fernanda recommended me-"

"Fernanda- The principal knew?" Max's voice was dripping with judgment, "damn, you could've mentioned it when we were hiking up a mountain together for hours. Or in the fifty or so hours you spent in my apartment after-"

Vince couldn't take it. He knew, in every possible sense, that he was entirely deserving of this dressing down, just like he had been in the wrong on the argument with Luke... But there was only so much kicking he could take while down and this was it.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, voice choking up and tears prickling his eyes.

"Or you know, any of the other days you were at my pla- Shit, Vince," Max interrupted himself as Vince shook his head, looking away and trying to swallow the knot in his throat, "aw man... Fuck, Vince, don't cry..."

Despite the fact he couldn't put any weight on his hurt leg, Max shuffled his plastic chair closer, patting awkwardly Vince's thigh, "don't cry, I'm not pissed, I'm just annoyed-"

Vince felt a whole new level of pathetic, especially when only a small part of his emotional distress was due to Max's annoyance, but he was letting the guy comfort him nonetheless. He let out a whimper, angrily wiping at his eyes, "I'mfine-" he mumbled, words sticking together, "just- Just'gimme-a-sec..."

Max nodded, but didn't pull back at all. Quite the contrary, he reached in and patted Vince's back, "yeah, sure, bud..." suddenly he sounded much more mature, the teacher Vince had caught glimpses off here and there.

And Vince broke down. It was a gentleness too much for his guilty consciousness and Vince planted his elbows on the table and hid his face in his hands as he sobbed. He felt bad about leaving, but felt worse over the sensation he had lost Luke's friendship and guilty that he was letting Max comfort him and angry at himself for not noticing the distance between him and his friends and scared he couldn't fix it-

"Fuck, okay..." Max patted his back in a soothing manner, "you're alright, let it out," he all but cooed, sounding terribly worried.

As if Vin needed any incentive after yesterday. He continued to sob, hot tears streaming up, none of that half concealed macho crying that he usually did. Eventually, though, the tears dried down and he was left feeling guilty, empty and defeated.

"Imssorry..." He slurred, only to hear a scoff and Max pushed a bunch of paper napkins in his hand so he could blow his nose and wipe the tears.

"Don't apologize," he said, harshly, sounding worried, "Jesus, not for crying of all things, don't apologize."

Vince let out a huff, using almost all of their table's napkins and finally he moved so he could look at Max, who was openly staring at him, "I'm not apologizing for crying, I'm-"

"Don't apologize for leaving either, this place is a shithole," Max wrinkled his nose in an offended manner, "God knows why you came back to it in the first place, but it's fine you're leaving, Vince. You have a girl, a job and a bunch of friends in the city, I'd leave too-"

"Then why don't you?" Vince spoke over him and Max's mouth became a comical O, opening and closing around nothing like a fish out of the water, "I mean- You don't have anything holding you here, do you? Welton is a nice town, I- I could help you get settled there if you want to leave, you'd be close to friends-"

"Your friends," Max corrected him, but it was weak and strangled, suddenly he seemed to be the one in distress, shaking his head from side to side, "please don't ask me this."

"Wendy adores you, Bella likes you, I'm sure the others will warm up-"

"Vince," Max squeezed his nape, "you sound guilty you're leaving me behind. I'm fine-"

"I'm not-" Vince paused, because that was a lie. He was, he was guilty for leaving Max indeed. He liked the guy, a whole fucking lot, and he had been pulling Max closer for months now and he was about to get up and leave him, without any friends or support, and it was eating at him, "I am... You can't blame me, I don't like the idea of you all alone here..."

"Geez," Max rolled his eyes, pulling his walls back up like pants that had slipped down, "I'm fine, you don't have to worry. I've lived here my whole life, I'm not gonna die because you're gone, stop thinking so highly of yourself."

It was a teasing tone, meant to defuse the situation, but Vince was wound up tight and so was Max, so they just stared at each other in silence. The blonde let out a heavy sigh, breaking first, "I'm gonna miss you, sure, but I- I could visit..."

"You should," Vince agreed, voice strong and wiping at his face one last time, "but the offer- The offer stands. You don't care for this town, you care for your students, but Welton has schools too, Max... And-"

"And it has you, yeah I know," Daniels' cheeks were pink as he shrugged and looked away, "not now, Vin."

It wasn't a no and Vince took what he could get, latching onto it like a cat, sinking his claws on the half promise.

"Are you pissed...?" He asked after a beat, reaching for his beer once again. This time it seemed it was Max who had zoned out, as he startled when Vin touched his shoulder, but then shook his head, slinging an arm behind Vince's chair.

"Over you telling the fucking principal before me, maybe," he scoffed, but there was a smile tugging on his lips, "but not over you leaving. Really, not at all."

"And you'll visit?" Vince tried not to sound like a hopeful kid, feeling like he was failing at the task.

Max rolled his eyes, "yeah, sure, I'll visit..." he glared at his lap, "if you want me to..."

"I do," Vince said loudly, strongly, not daring to leave any room for doubt. For the first time all day, in a while, it wasn't guilt speaking, it was selfish and genuine, "if it was up to me you'd come along."

Max turned his head, staring at him, then raised his eyebrows in a sardonic manner and reached for his beer, "careful or I'll think you care, Monacelli."

"I do," Vince pouted, "I do care. You are my friend, you're not just the guy I befriended in Doveport because there were no other options, Max... You know that, right? That I don't want you around because you're a pity case, but because I enjoy your company?"

Max's face was aflame as he gulped down and nodded, "so you keep telling me," he took a large gulp of his beer, "I'm gonna fucking miss you, Vin."

[shardminds]

star of the show

pairing: (one sided) elain/mor raiting: e (for elain, girl...) wc: 1k & some change primary tags: au - modern setting, masturbation, dirty talk, audio erotica, squirting, mor refering to her strap as a cock :)

this one gets right into it... sorry in advance. proceed with caution under the cut.

read on ao3

“God, you take my cock so well. I know that tight little pussy is just begging for it all day. You wish I could cum inside you, is that right? Sweetheart, you’re so good for me. Good girl. Good fucking girl. Tell me, does it feel good to know that only I get to see you like this? Are you going to come again? Sweet little thing, aren’t you? Fuck, if the world could see just how much of a filthy slut you are—“

Elain bites her fist as she shudders towards her third climax, two fingers working hard at her clit to drag out the waves as her pussy, regretfully, clenches around nothing. A fresh trickle of wet slips down past her ass, rapidly cooling against her hot flesh in the frigid air, and fuck she wishes she was being filled there too. Wishes she was taking somebody’s strap like it’s her job to be a cum drunk little slut, instead of riding her fingers listening to the velvet smooth instruction of a stranger. Of memento-mor-i and the rhythmic wet slap meant to mimic the sound of her pussy, like the voice in her headphones has her pinned down, fucking her into submission.

“That’s right,” Praise casting a new chill through her, the tension in her gut curls tighter still. She’s close again, reaching to clutch her breast, grasping as if it might feel like someone else if she makes it hurt enough. “Are you gonna taste yourself for me?”

Usually, she would do as she’s told, but now? Elain doesn’t want to—No, she can’t stop the rhythmic circling of her fingers against her clit, the slick slide audible even through her headphones. Or maybe in time with the audio. Or maybe it's all a dream and she'll open her eyes and see stars instead of her bedroom ceiling. See the the silver gossamer canopy of the four poster bed she's been thinking of for months because it features in the only picture memento-mor-i has ever posted. She’s so fucking close. Her hips start rocking in earnest, against the absence of anything inside her, as if they can do something about it just by trying hard enough. This desperation keeps her focused, keeps her hungry. 

“Baby girl, you’re so fucking good to me. I love watching you come. That’s right, baby. That’s right. You can come. I want you to soak me with it, get my cock all wet for you. Show me who owns it. Come on, don't be shy. Show the world that it’s yours.”

The dam that breaks in her isn’t just mental—oh, far from it—it’s almost painfully physical as she strums her clit, ready for the pleasure swirling thick in her core, right beneath her rough but practiced movements. Leaving her nipple free and throbbing, she dives two fingers inside herself and fucks then in time with the audio, each greedy pulse of her cunt dragging her deeper or forcing her out. It’s a weird angle, legs splayed, both hands working away as she whines and squirms but it’s so close to perfect. God, she wishes she’d stuffed her mouth to keep from screaming, with her own panties or a pillow or somebody’s pussy, but it’s too late now. The phantom claws of it scale her throat as she tenses up. 

“Come on, baby. Don’t you want to come?”

Not for the first time while listening to memento-mor-i's audios, Elain crests the final peak of her orgasm—

And squirts—fuck—as she falls straight over it.

Thank fuck she had the foresight to lay down a towel.

In the post-orgasm haze, it’s laughable to think that memento-mor-i, who’s been putting out consistent audios for almost three years, is the reason Elain’s not been able to come with a guy since her last steady boyfriend. No matter how hard she coaches, no matter how many tips or tricks or secrets of her own body she has to give away, the guys she fucks don’t ever pick it up. Some hardly even try — too happy to have some willing pussy to last forty five seconds to three minutes in that they barely register her pleasure at all. 

Which is fine, because memento-mor-i posts twice a week and Elain hates to fall behind. 

The girls aren’t much better, though at least they get her off. Unfortunately, the ones that show interest are mostly interested in keeping her prim and proper and pretty as they fuck her. To the point that they either mishear or intentionally ignore her when she asks for a little degradation. One girl, the sweetest thing with her auburn bob and pianist fingers, could’ve been a fish the way she went down on her for hours. She’d tried her best, but a deft hand at Elain’s throat and caustic words hadn’t been enough because they hadn’t been hers. She might have come, but it had been hard earned. 

Elain considers her Quinn subscription among her most treasured possessions, simply because it allows her access to memento-mor-i.

She lays there, in a puddle of her own mess, as her heartbeat returns to something akin to normal and the faceless stranger that she gets off to every night talks her down. 

“You’re so beautiful,” She hums in Elain’s left ear. All grit as snark is gone from her now. Only reverence remains. It slips over her like silk. Alien in how real it sounds. Like Elain could turn her head and taste the breath of her absent lover. She wonders, half delirious, what colour her hair is, or her eyes, or her lips. She wonders, not for the first time, if she would like Elain at all. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

When she circles her over sensitive clit and replies I love you, Elain blames it on just how good the sex is. The sex she has with herself and the idea of a woman in her head.

“I love you too.” The voice replies, cursed by dark static in the silence that follows.

Elain swipes two fingers through her wetness, brings them to her mouth, and sucks. A warped facsimile of a tongue. The closest she’ll ever get to a kiss.

She’s so fucked.

[foibles-fables]

So I've been carving my way through Act 1 of Baldur's Gate 3, and I can't help but consider how a similar romance mechanic would be absolutely perfect for Horizon 3.

Divisive concept, I'm more than well aware. But seeing the way it's already being implemented with fidelity and elegance and depth in the opening of BG3 gives me the perfect image of how it could work in Horizon 3.

To be perfectly clear, I'm talking specifically about the romances. We already know that Guerrilla is not pursuing branching narrative paths for the Horizon series, the way BG3 and Mass Effect do. However, I want to point out that the romances of BG3 don't alter the central narrative the way other choices do. They provide this lovely and emotional character depth and player engagement/agency without affecting the main story or outcomes.

Each is their own kind of side plot, for flavor and flair and to add a sense of romantic connection to the experience, should the player want to pursue that. And that in and of itself is not unprecedented in the Horizon series: the Desert Clan commander quest not only forces a choice, but that choice then affects the side quest that follows.

Imagine it! A more refined Base mechanic, in which Aloy can take a few of her buddies out with her on quests (since the point is that she's Not Alone Anymore), and begins to get closer to whichever potential LI the player wants to pursue. The Base/Camp would be a domestic/cozy reprieve for her, with her LI and her friends. You know she deserves it.

Another thing I want to be clear about: there's always the argument that Aloy isn't a blank slate character, therefore romance choice wouldn't work for her story. And sure, Tav is. However, BG3 also allows you to play as premade origin characters--basically, you can play as Shadowheart, Karlach, Wyll, etc. They maintain their backstories and personal motivations while still being able to romance another party member. (I cannot WAIT to smooch Karlach during my Shadowheart run.) The chosen romance doesn't dilute or change the Player Character's preset characterization or narrative outcomes.

I just. I cannot see how a purposeful romance choice mechanic would be anything but additive to Horizon 3. I cannot see how it would cheapen Aloy's development. Personally, I've had a huge issue with the way the writing in HFW and beyond has very much Told, not Shown. This would remedy that somewhat by adding another level of more active participation than we've seen--and would give the player a chance to engage meaningfully and personally with a small (but emotionally-impactful) part of the overarching story...rather than being told exactly how to feel about certain characters, which is a HUGE pitfall over which the series has stumbled and is still stumbling.

Bottom line: a romance mechanic like BG3's would fit the parameters of Horizon's narrative structure near-perfectly. It'd be an amazing tool to allow the player to feel involved and engaged in another layer of Aloy's story (not, I repeat, the outcomes of the main narrative). To have a hand in shaping that would be an absolute boon for emotional and personal investment in Horizon's themes of hope and connection and growth and belonging.

[eye-may]

If you have time, drop your Macavity and Misto lore?

oh I got time lmao.

egregiously overthought logorrhea of the felinological variety under the cut!!

I'm just gonna preface with, not sure if you mean separately or specifically in conjunction with one another? but for simplicity's sake I'm going to go with the latter lol. For Mistoffelees singularly I have conducted an incomprehensive lore dump Here. I haven't dedicated any posts specifically to Macavity, but him and his past are touched on a bit in that post I linked, and also a little Here.

When it comes to Macavity and Mistoffelees and their relationship/how they orbit around each other...that connection ends up having some pretty cataclysmic ramifications lmao. to fully understand why, I'd say you actually do have to read my long hc post about Mistoffelees and where his magic comes from. or don't, and just scratch your head at the weird terms and concepts I will periodically reference XD

Macavity, at the start of the events of the show, has little to no conceptualization about Mistoffelees's existence in my mind. Munkustrap and co. sort-of-kind-of purposefully kept their conjuring cat's abilities under the radar where it counted --- that being said, though, it's not like it was ever an earthshattering revelation for any parties involved. Mistoffelees, while he likes to show off in good company, had been relatively cagey about his abilities from the beginning anyway (and yeah...there's a reason for that lmao), and none of the Jellicle elders had a solid inkling about the implications of the existence of a Conjuring Cat. Magic, of course, is ubiquitious amongst cats; they're born of magic, have an extensive history with magic, and are inherently mystical beings. It expresses in some cats (i.e., Cassandra, Jemima, and most of all Coricopat and Tantomile) more obviously than in others. it's just that none of the Jellicles had ever known or heard of a cat that has a matrix of abilities as literal, tangible, and powerful as Mistoffelees's. But since the concept of magic itself is relatively prosaic, nobody was ever like Holy Shit, A Magic Cat! That's Not Supposed To Happen! We Must Look Into This Extensively! their instinct to veil Mistoffelees's abilities came more from Munkustrap's prerogative---that being: he set out to prevent Mistoffelees from ever being ostracized, adulated, taken advantage of, or otherwise treated differently because of his powers. Even the nomadic Old Deuteronomy was not aware of there being a Magical Cat at the Junkyard prior to the events of the show.

And that all worked out great! Up until Mistoffelees's heroic conjuration of the Jellicle Leader. This, of course, awakens Macavity to the possibility that someone else beside himself possesses profound magical powers. It's obvious that whomever "rescued" Deut was one of his loving followers, galivanting at the Jellicle Ball from where he had just wreaked havoc. After he heals from the fight at the Ball, he returns to the Junkyard with renewed purpose; this time, for once, it's not to kidnap Demeter, or Bombalurina, or to torment his estranged brothers. He announces that he's aware that the Jellicles are harboring an ostensibly magical cat and more or less demand that the cat in question reveal himself. not to be menaced (and wanting to prevent the situation from escalating), Mistoffelees unhesitatingly attempts to out himself---but Jellyorum, who was standing right behind him, claps a hand over his mouth and bodily yanks him back. Tugger, who is also nearby, steps directly in front of him for good measure.

At that juncture, the Junkyard just falls into a tormentingly tense impasse, with Macavity just prowling around, reveling in the palpable suspense and fear, while singling out cat after cat in attempt to intimidate them into revealing either themselves, or whoever they know the Magical Cat to be. Munkustrap had been, of course, gaslighting the fuck out of Macavity by insisting that there's no magical cat. magical cats like that don't exist. you're crazy, you hallucinated that Deut disappeared, stop doing drugs, etc etc.

so anyway this is a whole scene and idk if tumblr has the character capacity for me to describe it beat-by-beat in full, but it culminates in Mistoffelees ultimately using his magic against Macavity, because Macavity was threatening to kill Tumblebrutus, but then snake-eyed Munkustrap and shot fire at him, knowing that the magician would be forced to defend him. Mistoffelees refracted the blast and then disappeared amidst the dissolving inferno, managing to not fully reveal himself in doing so. nonetheless, Macavity's suspicions are confirmed. he's more than happy to drag shit out and toy with the Jellicles, and also he got injured by the unexpected retaliation, and also he knows that at the end of the day he's outnumbered...so he goes ahead and takes his leave for the time being.

sauurrr now the Jellicles know that for WHATEVER REASON, Macavity wants "the magical cat." for revenge maybe? makes perfect sense for Macavity! but if you did read the lore about the "Moon Stones" that I blabbed on about in This Post, you'd understand that Macavity isn't ONLY out for revenge. He believes that, since one of the Jellicles has magic, he must have acquired it the same way Macavity did (by wresting a Stone), or is otherwise one of the three legendary Keepers. There's one or two more attempts he makes to capture his quarry, including one where he strongarms Mungojerrie (who then strongarms Rumpleteazer) into completing a heist that is literally impossible without the intervention of magic. Falling into his trap, the two rascals jointly strongarm Mistoffelees into joining them, ultimately luring him to Macavity. This is when Macavity realizes that it's Mistoffelees who has magic --- needless to say, a crucial revelation. but, thankfully, the three manage to get away this time...only to be met with Munkustrap's seething wrath.

incidentally, this is a somewhat formative moment for Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, neither of whom had a single skoosh of a suspicion that Macavity was just using them to get Mistoffelees. (crucially: they were not at the Junkyard during the Napoleon's last visit and were not brought up to speed on the situation). and neither of them TOLD mistoffelees that it was Macavity whom they were trying to placate. immaculate communication all the way around! in any case, Jerrie and Teazer are deeply guilty and apologetic towards a very used-feeling Mistoffelees, and both are now keen to the fact that they just can't collude with Macavity anymore. Granted, they were already attempting severances after the kidnapping of Deutoronomy, but, par for the course with Macavity, it's not easy to severe ties with him. From then on, the twins start spending more time in the junkyard, committing to the tribe with unprecedented allegiance, both for their own safety and the safety of the others.

anyway, back to the matters at hand. Macavity ultimately wants to reunite the three stones, so since he's convinced that Mistoffelees has one, he's deadeyed on capturing him. eventually, he succeeds (partly due to Mistoffelees's voluntary submission in the eleventh hour, jaded by the fact that he alone was bringing danger to those around him), and unfortunately for Mistoffelees, it takes Macavity a while to realize that he's barking up the wrong tree. it takes an intensive mind-meld of sorts (that involves spiritual intervention from the Psychic Twins...IT'S A WHOLE THING) for the Napoleon to realize that Mistoffelees hadn't been lying --- he was truly born with magic, and didn't need a Moon Stone to have powers. almost nothing ever rattles or surprises Macavity...but he's fairly shocked. he senses astronomical power in Mistoffelees, and it's raw, genuine, uncorrupted, organic...so unlike his own limited and corrupted bastardization of magic.

from then on out, as you can imagine, there's just a lot of back-and-forth between Mistoffelees and Macavity, infinitely complicated by the involvement of Macavity's brothers. one of whom is essentially Mistoffelees's parentified elder sibling and the other is his best, and his most protective, friend in the whole wide world. After Macavity realizes that Mistoffelees doesn't have a Stone, his motivations shift and he oscillates between wanting to get rid of Mistoffelees, believing he's the only one truly capable of stopping Macavity's ascension, and wanting to wrest Mistoffelees --- either as a means of stealing his oceanic power, or at the very least breaking him into submission the way the Joker did to Tim Drake in batman the animated series lol 😬

you can imagine that the subsequent developments lead to...cumulative psychic damage for Mistoffelees lmao. he develops the fear that he's capable of turning out like Macavity. he starts to get gaslit into believing the tenet held by other pious cats (outside the Junkyard that is...cats, like humans, have different religions with different sects etc., some of which construe the legends associated with magic to mean that it's inherently evil) about his destiny are correct. In my mind there's sort of a Frodo and Gollum thing going on here lmao. I mean in such a way that, Mistoffelees has a deep-seated wish that Macavity is capable of reformation. on the surface it seems to be that he holds this desire because he wishes to see his two closest friends at peace with their wayward brother...but he later comes to realize that it stems from a place of needing to see an example of magic usage that isn't for the sake of fear, destruction, power, etc. He's also rueful that things are becoming so complicated, when his relationship with magic used to be so simple; it used to make everyone so happy.

Macavity, being the clever hypnotist and exploiter of psychological shortcomings that he is, often attempts to capitalize on Mistoffelees's insecurities. Saying things like, your friends only keep you around because they're using you and your powers. They're all secretly afraid of you. They're nice to you because they know that you're capable of hurting them out of retaliation; you're used to everybody around you walking on eggshells because it's all you've ever known. you could never have the wherewithal to comprehend a genuine friendship to begin with. special magical cats such as themselves can never enjoy such frivolities; only they are truly capable of understanding each other. Macavity sometimes acts almost as if he harbors some kind of bastardized, bizarre affection for Mistoffelees...but he's sure enough to oscillate erratically back into the territory of Obsessive Disdain.

there is, of course, the infinitely fascinating discourse regarding the two magicians' magic and how they choose to use it and how their corporeal vessels resonate with it. Mistoffelees is, pragmatically, more powerful than Macavity --- but his power is only as good as his ability to understand it and economize it, and since he's only ever been self-taught, figuring out those logistics is difficult in both theory and in practice. he's more likely to overexert himself and succumb to exhaustion, and is also resistant to using magic in directly offensive/violent ways. his tactics are more evasive, more illusory, more beguiling, and more defensive. additionally, despite his various struggles with developing his powers, Mistoffelees lives in harmony with his magic at his core. he's uncorrupted and bright; he's well-meaning and big-hearted. his magic is the purest form and doesn't wage any kind of resistance against him. it revolves around creation and animation.

Macavity, on the other hand, essentially chooses his own subsurface torment at the hands of his filched wizardry. his powers were stolen to begin with; he never fit the physical or spiritual criteria for using it. his possession of the stone is essentially causing him to deteriorate without him fully realizing it, whilst he and the Moon Stone are essentially corrupting each other in a fitful clash of the Red Stone's essence and Macavity's nefarious intentions and raw determination. theoretically, Macavity will either die or go insane if he holds onto the stone ad infinitum---but the more imminent hazard is that he'll unquestionably do increasingly substantial damage with it while he can. (and that issue will escalate stratospherically if he, everlasting forbid, gets a hold of one or both of the other stones). his powers, on the opposite end, are centrally destructive and violent.

it is, put simply, "easier" to wield magic the way Macavity does. destruction and entropy are, at their core, more instant and comprehensive than the antithesis. Mistoffelees wins the long game, but he's practicing a much more demanding and complicated school of magic.

okay anyway I've been typing for the last hour or so and I feel like this is a decent place to leave off lol. I really hope this is at least a somewhat satisfactory lore dump lol? I can definitely go more into Macavity and his past and his crime syndicate and etc. as an individual if anybody wants me to (or I might just do it unprompted at some point lmao).

WHEW ty for the ask!! lmk if you want me to clarify or expand on anything!

[magentagalaxies]

"tour of duty" (the filmed version of their 2002 tour) in general is just kind of a bizarre point for kids in the hall that i haven't really talked to any of them about but is hard not to notice when you look at their entire canon. like it's certainly good - there are some tour-original sketches that i highly enjoy and some live versions of filmed sketches that take a fun creative spin on it, but in general things just feel noticeably strange.

buddy cole specifically tells the fur trappers to "fuck off" (buddy very rarely swears and across all the buddy material i've watched for the documentary he's only said "fuck" 3 times across forty years). danny husk wins an award for being a high school vice principal and at&love isn't acknowledged in the bit. the "is he?" sketch has been revised to pack in as many euphemisms for gay as possible, putting the bit on top of another bit. and of course i have my chicken lady thoughts but i don't want to bias anyone else bc i genuinely want to know what your takes are before i share mine.

and again these aren't all bad choices - i think the danny husk vice principal monologue works really well and may not work as well as a different character despite contradicting the Husk Lore™️. but they're all very distinctive choices

idk there's two reasons i personally give for why tour of duty is so strange (to me at least, maybe other people don't notice). the first is that it comes less than 3 years after their other tour-film, the 1999/2000 tour "same guys new dresses" (also available on youtube!) i fucking love SGND and i'll be up front that it's my preferred kith tour video. but part of what makes SGND so special is that it's not just a recording of the live show, it's a full tour documentary following the guys traveling across the country performing together, occasionally showing full sketches but also delving into the stories behind why the sketches played out the way they did. and, sure, sometimes that means cutting out a sketch that i wish i could've seen in full (rip power of the suburbs) but my life is so much better for having seen the "laser eye surgery gossip" or knowing how much drama that goddamn robot-dog-prop caused.

so to then see tour of duty as a straight-up recording of the live show leaves that element of mystery, that we don't get to know why choices were made because we only see the end result. there was a conscious decision not to shoot tour of duty like SGND - the tour doc didn't do well financially, and they also had more of a reason to document that tour since it was their first time working together since the disastrous fallout of "brain candy," and first big national tour since the show ended. the circumstances were just very different

and that's true both personally and politically bc the second suspected reason for tour of duty's weird tone is you can obviously tell 9/11 just happened. two sketches directly reference it - bruce and mark's businessman characters sell scam patriotic products that are all just a rubber band, and buddy cole visits the middle east and ends up having sex with saddam hussein (tho fun fact this concept was written BEFORE 9/11). but the event casts an obvious shadow, especially since both the buddy cole bit and the danny husk monologue were recycled pieces from scott's cancelled one-man-show which was set to debut in new york city on september 19th 2001.

it's also interesting comparing this to SGND. the late 90s are often remembered through rose-tinted glasses due to a generally good economy in the united states and a lot of the social tensions with disenfranchised groups still bubbling under the surface rather than being talked about openly. SGND doesn't reference contemporary events much, but the closure of AT&Love from the KITH finale is undone since the economy has re-entered "rock-on fashion," and buddy cole comments on the Y2K computer bug being underwhelming. (i also went on a super long tangent on how the original show reflected the socioeconomic climate of the 90s but that's a whole other topic i need to go to bed)

i don't know how the KITH feel about "tour of duty." i can't know how much this strangeness was felt for them backstage, and i think in some regards it can only be picked up on as an outsider, albeit an outsider who has watched so much KITH content to know how their work evolved even when not on television. all in all, i'm glad "tour of duty" exists and even the swings that didn't really land for me are still admirable as creative choices.

it's also cool to analyze as someone who has now been to a KITH live show over 2 decades later and got to see those behind-the-scenes conversations play out. the bellini benefit also featured a lot of strangeness, caused by a limited rehearsal schedule and one of the cast members being unable to attend due to illness, but they absolutely exceeded these limitations to put on a very fun show. we did film the performance and rehearsals and that show is going to be released eventually (i'm not in charge of it but the person who is also works on the buddy cole doc so i'm involved). i don't know if it's going to be presented more like SGND or tour of duty or something completely different, but it'll be cool to be part of KITH live show canon

[narcissusneverknewme]

like are Zoro and Sanji a ship? someone please tell me, I can't look into it for fear of spoilers I'm only in alabasta

[jfleamont]

Hey for your jily muse, out of order <3

Okay this is unforgivable, I know. You sent this prompt over two months ago. TWO. This ask has been sitting in my inbox since the 18th of January, so you probably won't even remember sending this but I promise you I've been thinking about it constantly and waiting to have free time to work on it and I have this tendency to leave things unfinished so this is me working through that as well lol

Without further ado, here it is ❤️

Out of Order - 744 words

Evans is in the boys' bathroom. She's in the boys' bathroom and she's crying.

One of her hands is gripping the sink, while the other fruitlessly wipes the tears that keep escaping.

She hasn't noticed his arrival, and Sirius doesn't bother clearing his throat. “I'm sure there's a perfectly logical reason for this.”

She makes a startled noise and turns to face him, her expression a mixture of anger and sadness. It's comical, really, so Sirius laughs.

“There is,” she mutters as she wipes her nose with the sleeve of her jumper. Her voice lacks the edge she usually aims at him— and at James, too, though Sirius can't help but notice a slight difference there.

He walks towards her and hands her his monogrammed tissue - he's never used it for this purpose specifically, but it has proved to be useful during the occasional prank or after a rough full moon - which she grabs immediately. She doesn't thank him, but he doesn't expect her to.

“Ah well, that's all I needed to know. It's not like you're invading my personal space or something.”

She lifts an eyebrow and eyes him curiously, looking more like her usual self. “I'm sorry, is there a plaque or an inscription that I haven't noticed? Does House Black monogram bathrooms as well as tissues?”

“Not that I'm aware of, no. Don't give my mother ideas, though, she might actually try to do that.”

She makes an attempt at a smile, but it quickly turns into a quiet sob.

“Apparently there can only be one crying girl per bathroom, and Myrtle has claimed the one across the corridor as hers so it's out of order,” she explains as she tries to regain control of her emotions, “and I thought this one was empty since everyone is heading down to watch the match.”

“You were right... for the most part. Why aren't you going then?”

“No reason,” she replies, her voice even, but she's not looking at him.

Sirius thinks he knows why. He suspects it has to do with the good luck kiss that Cornelia Kettleburn gave James at breakfast and how quickly Lily disappeared after that.

“Cool. I'm not going either. Fancy going to the Astronomy tower for a smoke?”

She looks taken aback. “I— wait, why aren't you going?”

In truth Sirius wants to go, and James is going to kill him for this, but lately he's been claiming that he no longer has feelings for Lily, and Sirius hates being lied to, so technically this is just payback.

“James got on my nerves so I'm skipping the match in protest,” he adds with a shrug and it's the truth, because it wouldn't be fair to lie. “So, are we smoking or not? Got a fag I can borrow?”

She's not an idiot: she knows this is an olive branch of sorts. Sirius can tell she's deciding whether to believe him or not; after a moment she sighs, and Sirius knows he's won.

“Haven't you got your own? Merlin, you're cheap,” she says while producing a pack of cigarettes from her satchel and handing it to him, a smirk on her face. He's glad to see that she seems to have calmed down significantly.

“I'm trying to quit so I stopped carrying them around,” he replies and grabs one, putting it in the breast pocket of his vest.

“Looks like it's working,” she notes as she fixes her appearance in front of the mirror and readies herself to leave the room.

“Absolutely.”

“Why are you mad at Potter anyway? Thought you two were inseparable,” she asks as she walks towards the door, a step ahead of him so that he can't see her face.

“Can't tell you, it's a secret.”

She huffs. “You lot are starting to sound ridiculous with all these secrets,” she whips her head towards him, her disapproval clear on her face, though he's almost certain this is just another way of disguising her curiosity. “Is this little group of yours a cult or something?”

“It's a counterculture,” he explains as he exits the bathroom, “how else are we going to beat those bigoted dickheads? The only way to fight a cult is with another cult.”

He's just joking, but the idea doesn't sound half bad to his ears.

Apparently Lily disagrees, because she snorts. Loudly. “Not sure about that logic but you do you, I guess.”

“Thanks for the support.”

“Anytime, Black.”

[tagidearte]

There's something special about Moon being the only side of the DCA who has canonically (gameverse) voiced his counterpart's name ("No more Sun", which yes it's not him directly saying Sun's name since it's a figure of speech, but still) whereas Sun - the chatterbox - only refers to Moon via "he" or "other me". Moon, the quiet one who mostly laughs vs Sun who mostly uses words. Sun, who is scared of Moon, never utters his name whereas Moon clearly has no problem with it. Both of them using "we☀️/us🌙" prior to Eclipse. Moon, whose only opinion of Sun we can infer is "the other me trapped me in light so now I trap him in shadow", vs Sun's whole thing which is profoundly more fleshed out.

I don't know man, the "no more Sun" line always did things to me. I remember playing Ruin for the first time and getting this... jarring emotion when I heard Moon saying that. It's such a small line but good god did I latch onto it.

[mewnoroma]

Eigong Logs

Hi. So I have almost 100% Nine Sols (missing just one...achievement...that I could've gotten if I didn't kill a robot...), and my favorite character by far is Eigong. So, as one totally does, I went through the game, took screenshots of all her logs, and put them into a Google Doc. Here's the link.

I organized them chronologically, but I was tired when I made it so there may be errors. Maybe I'll add the council logs later. Anyway, uh...enjoy?

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully moments from s2

after the x-files are shut down, she gets moved to teach at the academy, and in episode 1 she does a little monologue on how a person’s body is a physical manifestation of a lifetime, which one of the students describes as “spooky”

when mulder sneaks off to puerto rico in the same episode, she goes into his place to try and figure where tf he went, and prevents his sneaking about being caught by the investigators who broke into his home with the power of feeding his fish

lecturing about the dangers of eating raw steak in episode 2, then getting lost down a rabbit hole of worm science

when no one was answering the door in episode 3, she just walks in. this made me laugh hysterically, i cannot explain. both of these guys WILL enter your home.

every single time she is a bit of a medical nerd, like when she learns about the surgery that allowed people to survive without sleep in episode 4, which she describes as “incredible”

(and the freckles + flower earrings combo were also a fave)

when she scans the piece of metal that came from duane barry in a grocery store in episode 6, and the cash register goes crazy. and she denies involvement and just walks away LMAOOO <- honestly i'd do the same!!

she wakes up from her coma in episode 8 and wants to write a thank you note to the nurse that took such good care of her, only to learn no such nurse ever existed. scully got to witness the paranormal for once!!!!

in episode 9, someone brings up a volcano scientist in conversation, and she says she had heard he was brilliant, which means that somehow she is keeping up with volcano news. she is a woman of many layers.

being deeply worried about this scared looking grad student she just met, and once again not waiting for an answer to enter her room and figure out if she is okay

(and when said grad student is being consumed by a fungus, scully thinks quickly enough to get herself locked behind a door, keeping herself safe, despite being handcuffed and otherwise looking death by fungus in the face)

in episode 11, mulder walks into his office, only to learn she has been there and has been going through his stuff since 6 in the morning. queen of getting results!

in the same episode, an old man overdoses on mushroom pills, and she shifts into Doctor Mode, yelling about “ventricular fibrillation” and “milligrams of lidocaine” and it was, like every other time she goes Doctor Mode, so deeply satisfying to watch

when she meets the two cops in episode 12, and can immediately tell they are having an affair and that the detective is pregnant, and despite the detective pleading with her not to tell a soul, the absolute MILLISECOND she is reunited with mulder, she spills the tea. and he is SHOCKED! <- arguably my favorite moment in the entire series so far

(and, to make the woman feel more comfortable, she confesses to also having had feelings for coworkers before which. elaborate on that, please)

but she really does care; when the detective ends up in the hospital, scully brings her a change of clothing <3

when she is so shaken by what she sees in episode 13 that she goes to the FBI’s onsite therapist; she’s too scared to tell mulder how she feels because “i don’t want him to feel like he has to protect me”

(as if there was ever going to be a choice; he is the protector and he Will protect, it's just his nature)

((and then later sobbing into his arms, realizing she doesn’t have to always put on a front))

toads start falling from the sky in episode 14, so she rationalizes that they likely came from a nearby tornado. this is a scully-approved theory.

they’re investigating a murder in the same episode, and a teenager starts pouring her absolutely horrific trauma out to both of them, scully holds her while she sobs into her jacket

honestly any time either of them know weird information, i love it. she says that it would take hours for a snake to eat a man and then weeks for it to digest in episode 14, and mulder makes some funny remark but it’s sooo endearing to me. she knows her snake facts.

then in episode 15, she notes poison in someone’s blood, but specifically that the poison comes from pufferfish eaten in Japan… girl i’m crying, she just knows stuff!

during that same case, they get rooms near each other like always, and she knocks on a door thinking it’s mulder’s. he doesn’t answer. she walks in and hears water running, so she just talks to him through the door to the bathroom. and i love this so much. i love that they are close enough to just walk into each other’s rooms and talk from behind the door while the other showers. it’s such married behavior.

working on the case in episode 16, we see her at home wearing a flannel, checking her computer, still serving looks but now giving casual

(and seeing the art she keeps on her walls- little postcards of beach scenes <3)

in the same episode, she knows mulder left to go get himself in trouble, so she bursts into skinner’s office to ask for help. but she feels bad for barging in on skinner, so she apologizes to him. which was very sweet.

when mulder is gone, she goes to his apartment to look for clues, and falls asleep on his couch

(and when X knocks on the door, she knows he is hiding something, and screams at him to tell her where he is)

this whole monologue from episode 17, which i loved more than life itself:

“several aspects of this case remain unexplained, suggesting the possibility of paranormal phenomena. but i am convinced that to accept such conclusions is to abandon all hope of understanding the scientific events behind them. many of the things i have seen have challenged my faith and my belief in an ordered universe, but this uncertainty has only strengthened my need to know, to understand, and to apply reason, to those things which seem to defy it”

(and that is just Her, isn't it? the need to understand, to rationalize. the worldview shaped on science- if she doesn't understand something, it's because a key piece is missing, and she'll find it. because the world Has to work that way, has to be bound by a greater logic, even if it is yet to be understood. to imagine otherwise would be impossible, to imagine otherwise would be to abandon hope in everything, and she cannot abandon hope)

((and maybe the idea that the world being something she cannot perfectly comprehend is a failing of her own understanding makes me a little emotional. but still))

she says that the whole loaves and fishes deal was a parable in episode 21; she is not a biblical literalist

(she then makes some sassy remark about things generating spontaneously, and mulder laughs in the corner. good to know he thinks she is funny)

every single time she answers the phone, she says “mulder, it’s me”, and idk i just think it’s so endearing

she thinks she might have been infected with a killer disease in episode 22, but mulder calls, so she tells him she’s okay and to take care of himself out there.... those are the last words she chooses, just in case they never talk again </3

and every time she says unsettling things, like “could be the residue of burnt human flesh” or “darkness covers a multitude of sins”, both in episode 23, i eat that up

reassuring her student who has just become a detective that she is doing just fine!!!

and then going to said student's funeral when things do not turn out fine... she loves her students that she taught for like 3 months so much :(

getting pulled aside by skinner and her bosses after mulder just acted wild in episode 25, and denying that she had seen any top secret files even though they say they will fire her if she lies lmaooo <- she is a ride or die!!!

but also going to his place, demanding assurance that she is doing the right thing by assisting him, and i love that. i love a character who will break all of the rules as long as they believe they are doing the thing that is morally Right, and that definition is so deeply her own, but she is committed to it, and she'll do anything to stick by it. and he just says something about getting the code that he wants broken, and despite how awful he's being, she goes through with it anyway because it's the Right thing to do.

later, her being the one to realize that mulder should not leave the house after his father was killed because he will be the prime suspect (he does not listen to this sound advice)

he stumbles into her place with a million degree fever, and she carefully lays him down in her own bed, despite the fact that he is soaked in his dead father's blood. and she takes care of him.

this one honestly deserves its own post because it is so incredible, but: shooting mulder with enough precision to get him to knock off his wild behavior that was going to make him look like he killed his dad, but not actually HURT him, then finding out krychek was putting LSD in his water, knocking him out, and driving 2 days to New Mexico to get him where he needed to be. AFTER he had been acting wild because he was inadvertently drugged, and had accused her of spying on him and being a traitor. that level of love is deep. very very deep. she is a Lover.

[a--a---a]

tell me what you thought about season 3 of bridgerton. I also had really mixed feelings about the Michaela/Michael thing (like the last person) but overall the season was really okay for me. it felt like the PR was more than we got but otherwise I liked most it. i could have done without the Mondrich storyline and the 8 Benedict sex scenes but it was good.

I agree: The season was generally good. I liked it and have watched it several times now. (That is 90% my Nicola Coughlan obsession speaking, but nonetheless.)

Things that I thought were OUTSTANDING:

Agatha/Violet scenes - I fucking love them. Agatha is my fav character in the whole show, and that friendship is amazing. I am an Agatha, Charlotte, and Penelope girly as my top 3.

That scene outside of Genevieve's ("What good am I to you?") because fuck yes, Penelope. - Put that man in his place. Sometimes your only need for a man is to want him there because you love him.

Colin crying - 'nuff said.

Kanthony - there could have been more, but I understand.

Francesca & John - so relatable. I know you talked about Michaela being contentious, but I am excited for her. Again, I didn't read the books. I just want wlw. I loved John's interactions with the boys.

"You Belong With Me" for their wedding dance??? It's THEIR SONG, and I was so happy about it!

Lord Anderson - I am looking forward to him and Violet "gardening" in s4.

the Featheringtons and their character growth.

Nicola Coughlan's perfect breasts. 🥵😍

Things I DID NOT LIKE/WANTED MORE OF:

Not enough Polin scenes. Just in general there were not enough. Spicy would have been fine, but I am in the same camp as many that say they wanted more happy married life before the baby was born.

Colin accusing Penelope of trapping him and then never apologizing for it.

Colin telling Penelope she "has no say" in how the LW blackmail thing got handled. Like 🛑. You are JUST a man, Colin.

Luke Newton's wig for the wedding specifically (but it made other appearances).

Pen's wedding dress could have been more fairytale (but I do love how it highlighted her complexion, etc.).

Not enough Lord Debling/he didn't go with Cressida. I know she was the pt 2 villain, but like...he will be gone for three years.

Eloise was incredibly annoying without Pen. I didn't realize how Pen changed her and maybe softened her in ways. Her without that person to maybe not tame but guide her really showed that.

Too much Mondrichs. I think it would be cool if their son fell in love with Hyacinth and it was another friends to lovers we got to see evolve over time, but besides the ball and finally giving up the club, I feel like maybe 3 scenes in total would have been fine.

Too many Benedict sex scenes. The last was my fav by far, but for the most part they were fillers and didn't drive the plot. If they did it would have been different.

There's probably more, but that's all I've got.

I do think this is my favorite season yet because of Penelope, but there could have been changes. I hope they drop those deleted scenes, but even if they don't i am pretty satisfied with what we got. 💛

[thephouseplants]

You know, I wish videos talking points about Phanton history were not always focused entirely on the invasiveness, the shipping, and the morality of said shipping. Since that is what most outside the community seem to talk about.

Not to say it isn't an intresting topic, but the Phandom has sprawled over a great length of time on the internet, and I feel there is a lot to be said outside of just examining that single lease.