#i'm so obsessed with them you don't understand
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i don’t know if your request are open but i just wanna ask, can you do a headcanon of tom x model!reader. like the readers on vogue or she models for lingerie
ᡣ𐭩 TOM WITH A MODEL GIRLFRIEND
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omg i love this requesttt 😭 i hope you like it! and sorry for disappearing but school is slowly killing me 😻💕
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oh boy he's OBSESSED with you
always buying your magazines
would hang up posters of you on his wall
loves to attend your catwalks and is the loudest in the crowd for you
he pretty much doesn't pay attention to the other models, he's just waiting for you
he's literally Dylan Sprouse (iykyk, a whole ass green forest)
istg he would look at you like this
he's would uhm...please himself with pictures of you...
LOVES to take you photos
and also likes to exchange photos 😀iykwim (freaky ahh)
let's just say he's very pleased with your body type since you're a model and he's really into curves and stuff like that (idk how to word it but if you've seen some of his interviews you probably understand)
makes sure everyone knows you're his
you have a lot of public appeal so he's both jealous and worried people would go too far
makes sure you don't turn your job into something toxic
LOVES when you model for lingerie, but only when he gets the photos lmfao
he's kind of jealous ofc
likes to surprise and visit you during fittings and photoshoots
obviously you also attend a bunch of his concerts, and he's more than happy to see you in the crowd
always locking eyes and getting nervous/shy to the point he has to look away and focus on his guitar 🤭
Bill obviously likes to tease him with: "excuse my brother, he's very busy looking in that particular direction!"
loves when you run backstage into his arms after (especially because you don't care if he's as sweaty as a dog)
I'd say his pda level is a 6-7/10, but if he's a little jealous (doesn't matter the reason) he's a solid 8-9/10
In his eyes you're the goddess of beauty (which you are pookie! 🤭💞)
Since he's so obsessed with you, he probably makes sure to please you most in bed
he's not really into dirty talking, but he definitely gives you some words of appreciation like "you're so fucking pretty", "you're perfect", "i'm so lucky", "this is all for me, right?"
Because of tour and different schedules, sometimes you're apart for a long time. But he never misses a chance to call and Skype you whenever he can!
he's so proud that you're his girl
Flirts with you 24/7
He would remind you everyday not to listen to the obsessed fans who give you hate for being his girlfriend
He would do the thumb thingy when holding hands or cuddling
He would flip off the paparazzi if he catches them say something mean to/about you
sometimes he would disapprove of your dresses/clothes if they're too revealing
in conclusion, he's your number 1 fan 🥳
#tokiohotel#tom kaulitz#bill kaulitz#gustav schäfer#tokio hotel smut#tokio hotel x reader#tokio hotel x you#2000s#headcanon#wattpad story#tom kaulitz fluff#tom kaulitz x reader#tom kaulitz smut#tom kaulitz imagines#tom kaulitz 2005#tom kaulitz angst#tom kaulitz x you#tomkaulitz#georg listing#gustav schafer#tokio hotel fanfic#tokio hotel#tokio hotel x y/n#modelgf
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Hi! Just looking for your opinion on something:
I recently got a chair with a velvety texture and one of my cats is OBSESSED with it. He sits on it and digs and digs at it, and already has scratched furrows into the velvet of the seat cushion. I've never had an issue with either of my cats scratching at furniture before, not to this degree anyway, and I'm thinking of getting him claw caps for a bit until he (hopefully) chills out about the chair, what do you think? Any hot tips?
ooof, i feel your pain! A little, anyway. I've inherited a similar velvety chair from my grandparents, so I had to spend some time teaching my cats not to scratch at it. Thankfully, both Yardstick and Saia have ignored it, but my previous cats really liked it.
ok, so it's really hard to teach a cat NOT to do something. Like, Doing the Thing is a rewarding action and, frankly, if you try to stop them, they just learn to do it when you're NOT watching. What you do is provide them with something else that's MORE rewarding. In my case, that was as simple as providing scratching posts and scratchpads that were better feeling than the velvet chair.
Until they figured that out, I covered up my nice chair with fabric that I didn't much care about. Since they couldn't access the NICE fabric anymore, they just kind of lost interest in it. In a few weeks when I removed the ugly fabric, they just... never really seemed to understand the velvet was back again. I can't really explain that one, tbh.
If you do want to go the claw cap route, make sure the claw caps are properly sized. They don't cover the WHOLE claw. They only cover the very tips. When they cover the whole claw, the end irritates the flesh in the nail bed and can cause minor infections and irritation. Properly sized nail caps should not inhibit a cat's ability to sheath their claws at all.
You can see that the end of the claw cap doesn't even make contact with the nail bed. (picture taken from the National Cat Groomers Institute here)
before putting the cap on, you also have to trim the cat's nails anyway. So you might find that just trimming their nails is sufficient.
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KNY Fandom so fucking insufferable I'm gonna start behaving like those GiyuShino and SaneKana shippers and go around spreading misinformation and say "no you don't get it SaneGiyuu was implied!!!" /j
because I'd actually have more content to mention without even mischaracterizing them
wanna talk about how they're a two-faced mirror? almost as if they were written to parallel each other and there's so much to talk about on this matter
or, since not everyone in this Fandom can dive into analysis, wanna mention how Shinobu figured Sanemi could've made Giyuu smile by inviting him to eat his fav dish with him? why not ask him directly instead? why Sanemi out of all people?
wanna mention Sanemi's pseudo-obsession on that man? he disliked his ass, but if we go back to analysis, his intolerance to someone feeling superior can be tied to a multitude of factors and one of which is being low-key reminded of himself, and he loathes himself while at the same time he puts on that strong façade. he can't face it though. and he wanted to understand why Giyuu felt that way SO BADLY he went to him for training and tried to speak with him, he wanted a contact, he wanted to understand, he needed Giyuu to speak up but he didn't.
on the other hand don't we wanna talk about Giyuu's perspective? Giyuu never hated him nor did he really feel sad knowing he disliked him, contrary to how he felt towards Obanai. not to mention he even got to be sarcastic towards Sanemi's dumb ass at least twice.
and the iconic ohagi scene? idk about y'all but between the hashira I think that's THE iconic scene, alongside Giyuu and Shinobu beefing and Shinobu almost stabbing him (don't get me wrong platonic GiyuShino has my whole heart)
the first time we saw Giyuu smile in the series is while imagining to befriend Sanemi??? and out of everyone he chose Sanemi? the hashira who is canonically the most difficult to talk with?😭 he only ever smiled either for food, for Sanemi or Tanjiro
oh and let's not talk about how Tanjiro, after getting knocked up, wakes up and the first thing Giyuu says is "yeah Shinazugawa left" ..? or the whole novel chapter in which they end up talking about him (supposedly right after that scene in the manga) and Giyuu cheered up. what
anyways, likewise, the first time Sanemi was seen smiling genuinely outside of his family was with Giyuu. Obanai and especially Masachika were both closer to him, not to mention the most important person in his life, Genya...yet here we are ig?? (after Giyuu he also smiled more in general, the scene of him smiling at Nezuko was one of my fav panels ever so keep in mind I'm taking in consideration the chronological events and not the impact of the scenes per se)
or let's talk about the most important part in their development which is when they fought together.
Sanemi saving him, telling him not to zone out while throwing the sword at him, it made Giyuu realize he's the water hashira, it was the first time Giyuu acknowledged it. Sanemi influenced Giyuu's character positively, and so far Tanjiro was the only other one who managed to. Sanemi saw him as his ally (rightfully so), and hopefully seeing him fight also made him realize he wasn't that much of a conceited guy, he was just like him, as he initially wanted Giyuu to understand (despite the fact it was a miscommunication)
Sanemi teaming up with Giyuu out of everyone, in such an impactful panel.... idk, if it was a straight ship that would've felt like a confession for the Fandom 💀
they impacted each other's character, they were the only two hashira surviving after facing the same war, they faced similar struggles during their lives (but let's not get into analysis, once again...), they could've understood each other better than anyone else would ever have, and they ended up bonding and eating together
that panel was there, in the middle of other panels all portraying important bonds, whether canon romantic bonds or platonic and sibling-like ones (Tanjiro and Nezuko, the Kamaboko squad, the swordsmiths etc.)
if it wasn't important it wouldn't have been there, but the funniest thing is that if either of them was a woman it would've been considered canon since it also included TanKana, ZenNezu and InoAoi🙏🏻
but oh, if we try to name either of these things and more, people will rightfully say "can't they be friends anymore?", which is valid, but I wonder why this doesn't apply to equally fanon straight ships.
a show so peak has so many fans that are so dense😭😭😭
#kny#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#sanegiyuu#giyuusane#sanemi x giyuu#kny ships#sanemi#giyuu#sanemi shinazugawa#giyuu tomioka#toxic shippers#i hate y'all sm#platonic sanekana#platonic giyushino#they're just so peak#am i talking about sanegiyuu or about platonic giyushino and platonic sanekana?#the answer is both#I need more m/f friendships in media bc I can't take this shit anymore
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People will never understand the grief and suffering that Caitlyn went through, they will never understand the complex characters who always did good things but unfortunately the world didn't do them justice. The characters who go through stages of despair, grief and anger, these are the characters the writers wanted to give you so that you understand the complexities of humans through fictional characters. They want to send you a deeper message than just this evil character who wants revenge. It's more complicated than that.
So let's get into the topic and why I made this post:
First Caitlyn never wanted to kill the child to get to Jinx. You never saw a character who was controlled by anger. Caitlyn saw nothing in front of her except Jixn, the person who completely destroyed her life. She became obsessed with Jinx in the same way that Jinx was obsessed with Caitlyn. Let's take another example of an angry and vengeful character, which is the character Ellie in tlou2. We saw her literally kill everyone in front of her to get to Abby. She even went as far as to kill Lev if Abby didn't fight her. Anger and sadness are emotions that are difficult to control. These emotions are what control the person.
And The Big Problem is no one hated Ellie back then, huh?? So why Caitlyn now 😑
But the sad thing for Caitlyn is that unfortunately the demon Ambessa is in the picture and she will definitely play an important role in changing Caitlyn's personality. Of course, as is known, Ambessa will benefit from Hex weapons and other things for her personal goals.
Another thing that caused Caitlyn to lose her mind was when Vi accidentally compared Cait to the person who killed her mother and had been trying to kill her multiple times. And Jinx had killed many people in Piltover more than once. All of these things came together on Caitlyn until she completely lost control of herself.
Bc in the end it is her city and she has the right to defend it and defend her people.
So honestly I don't blame Caitlyn, I'm not saying what she did was right, but AGAIN Vi unintentionally compared her to the person who killed her mother and caused her a lot of suffering, as Jinx kidnapped her, tortured her, and tried to kill her several times.
(Imagine someone comparing you to the person who killed your mother and ruined your life)
And in the end Caitlyn will realize her mistake and try to fix it and she will know that Ambessa was manipulating her all the time, and she will know that she is the cause of most of the problems in Piltover.
I'm sure Caitlyn's redemption arc will right all the wrongs she's done and will make up for everything to the Zaun people and Vi.
And mark my words, bc Caitlyn is the only character who knows the problems that exist in Zaun and surely after she gets rid of her anger that is eating her from the inside, she will do the right thing bc that is the core of the Caitlyn that we knew in season 1.
So please trust the writers and don't rush to judge characters until we see how they end first.
#Caitlyn and Ellie are literally the same thing.#They are both overcome with anger.#And they will eventually realize that revenge is not the solution.#and they are not only the characters that talk about anger and revenge we have Kratos and John Wick.#These characters you can see are from successful works and have achieved great fame.#Especially Kratos you can see he was a person thirsty for revenge killing anyone in front of him even if they were civilians.#He destroyed Olympus completely and in the end what happened he realized that revenge is not the solution.#We can see how his personality changed completely after he realized his mistake and tried to start his life a new one.#i love caitlyn#caitlyn support#caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#arcane caitlyn#ellie#ellie the last of us#kratos#god of war#vi#vi arcane#jinx#jinx arcane#caitvi#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane league of legends#arcane netflix#games#shows#..
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If you're using Mocap to animate an amputee character, you need an amputee actor!
I know there is a lot of debate about disabled actors playing disabled characters, but with amputees, even in mocap, it does visibly and negatively impact the performance if you don't get an amputee to do that roll - unless you're going to majorly adjust the animations later, but that would require so much additional work that it kind of defeats the point of using mocap at all. Amputation (and limb differences in general), weather a prosthetic is present or not, changes how you move and how fast (stumps and limbs with prosthetics often move faster due to less weight), the poses you can do (abled actors often physically can't always do the same poses because the limb their character lacks is in the way) everything. It will even impact how other parts of the body will be posed (e.g. lots of leg amputees have altered spinal curves, which will effect things in the upper body, because of slight changes to their center of gravity and the pressure applied from prosthetics. The higher up the amputation, the more limbs missing and the longer the character has been without them, the more noticeable this will be)
I'm glad that we're starting to see more amputee representation in games, truely, but you can't just slap motion capture data from a non-disabled people onto a disabled character and expect it to look right, especially when it comes to disabilities like amputation, where a massive chunk of weight is gone or altered. It's exceptionally noticeable.
I've worked in 3D animation and games. I understand crunch, and I understand sometimes it's a technical issue or limitation, especially in older games, but I also know how much work goes into this stuff, how much love and care these folks put into it to get things looking right. Even mocap cleanup is a lot of work, and a lot of skill is still need it to get it looking right in-game. I've seen first-hand the almost obsessive attention to detail some animators have - so why is this the thing that gets consistently overlooked?
A lot of this also applies to live action where a charcater's missing limb or prosthetic is just added in post too...
#probably going to elaborate on this further another day#games#disability in games#disability#disabled#amputee#amputee representation#disability representation#disabled characters
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Yo, sorry if this is out of the blue but I just had this idea and I have to share: Inazuma (cuz I'm still obsessed with the place) has specific hair styles with meanings attached to them, like flower language but for hair.
And the Creator, also apparently a budding hair styler, knowingly or otherwise cooks up chaos after practicing on their inazuman acolytes.
Fucking imagine Ei goes to visit Miko or smth and she nearly loses her composure cuz WHAT THE FUCK is Ei doing with a 5-strand marriage braid- AND WHY IS SARA'S HAIR TIED BACK WITH A RED RIBBON MEANT DEBUTING MAIDENS? WHAT IS HAPENING-
Trolling in Roblox but for Teyvat instead lmfao
Also I apologize if I don't do this idea justice, I can understand symbolism but not in flowers or hair
Reader is gender neutral as usual
Creator trolling Inazuma with hairstyles
So when you visit Inazuma you eventually find out through conversing with the people that a person's hairstyle reveals some ways they live their life.
For example, Kujou Sara (or Sara Kujou depending on name order since her name is a Japanese name with family name before first name) keeps her hair cut short and tidy, representing discipline,
But people like Arataki Itto who, with their messier hair, symbolizes a more laid-back lifestyle (Kuki Shinobu is an exception to this rule since she apparently just likes it)
Most of the Arataki Gang apart from Itto and Shinobu do have neat-ish haircuts but I headcanon that they have to go to Shinobu to help maintain them lmfao
Generally speaking, the neater someone's hair is the more likely they are in a position of nobility/professionalism
Now, you did mention a 5-strand marriage braid of sorts. There are braids with fewer strands; by this logic, the more braids a woman accumulates, the more visible she's in love with someone with the fifth braid being the marriage one.
Then there's the red ribbon: not sure what you mean by 'debuting maidens' and maiden does mean an unmarried woman though, so let's make this a twist:
Red in Japan has many meanings, from authority and sacrifice to joy and happiness.
Inazuma draws heavy inspiration from Japan, so here's the twist:
Someone who wears a red ribbon implies that they desire to obtain the opposite of their current traits (I.e. Sara Kujou would want to wear a red ribbon if she ever wanted to wear a symbol of her possibly attempting to learn some domestic ways of life, contrary to her rigid and stalwart lifestyle)
Now, the trolling commences.
So you possess hairstyler skills from back in your world, likely either as a job or an activity in your free time.
After realizing the amount of tomfoolery you could commit with this information, you decided to use it.
One night, you asked Kujou Sara if she wanted to personally accompany you to see the Shogun. She accepted, albeit with a bit of hesitation and fluster since she's not used to being singled out.
Once the two of you arrived at Tenshukaku and greeted Ei. Then, you asked the two how they felt about different hairstyles before you revealed that you had hairstyling skills.
Then you deviously grinned/smirked and explained the plan,
Which was for you to troll Inazumans by styling their hair. Ei would grow long hair for you to eventually style into a braid, while Sara would have her hair styled to a more gentle and off-guarded look with a red ribbon.
Both women were flustered with red all over their faces, to say the least. Their holy one wanted to style their hair? Of course they'd let them!
Day after day, you'd check in on the two to check their hair growth on whether it was long enough to change, and you simply gave a clueless expression and a cheeky "don't question it" to those who wondered what you were up to.
Finally, after around two weeks, their hair grew long enough for you to style. Ei silently hummed as you braided her hair while Sara stayed flustered as you tied a red ribbon to her hair.
The sun was still out when you finished styling the two, so you offered them to go on a walk with you.
Imagine the looks on everyone's faces when they see their shogun with a marriage braid and Sara's red ribbon telling everyone that she's attempting to take a more laid-back approach to life.
Everyone has their jaw dropped in some way or another.
News didn't take long to reach Yae Miko's ears, and then when you three actually visited her,
She's openly surprised at Ei and Sara's hairstyles while you three pretend as if this is totally normal.
A day later a rumor sprung up that you decided to marry Ei, and writers had a field day with this.
Light novels about a relationship between you and Ei skyrocket and fly off shelves far more so than any other novel beforehand, leading to further rumors such as how you two might start a family or including Sara in the relationship-
So you tell everyone that you pulled a prank of sorts on them and that you knew how to hairstyle.
The rumors eventually died down, but it turns out you now have a new crowd of people wishing to receive hairstyles from you
#genshin impact#genshin inazuma#sagau#genshin sagau#raiden shogun#raiden ei#genshin x reader#yae miko#kujou sara#sara kujou
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I'm censoring this URL because the OP is eighteen. Do not seek the post out and do not harass anyone. Teens are often wrong about things. It's fine. It's radfem bullshit but it's fine.
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Let me be clear: The idea that t4t was invented by trans women for use betwixt themselves, and that "TME" people "gentrified it," is (a) holy fucking shit racist as fuck and (b)
takes a deep breath
WRONG INCORRECT UNTRUE EASILY VERIFIABLY FALSE
The OP is eighteen. That means that we did not do anything. They were not born when It came about on Craigslist and was being used by all trans people from the very start. I don't think they know what Craigslist is and probably more than half the people reblogging it don't either.
TME people fucking gentrified it? Are you fucking kidding me? Are these people tossing that post back and forth just fully playing pretend in fucking Tarabithia, what world do they live in where this combination of syllables makes sense and doesn't cause them to wither up in shame for even having the thought, much less vocalizing it?
Ohhhh but what really gets me is the assertion this was done because being with "TME" people meant there was a high chance you could be "socially (or even physically) murdered."
No.
No, OP. If you were any kind of trans person in pretty much any time and place before the 2010s, and a relationship with a non-trans person went poorly, there was a very high chance you would be dead. There's no "or even" about it. That is what fucking happened. Your ex didn't go crying to your mutual friends telling them about how you hogged the blankets. Your non-trans ex would proceed to ACTUALLY FOR REAL MURDER you, assuming they even waited for the relationship to go sour and didn't just kill you the second you walked through the door like they were always planning to do.
That's how it was when I was growing up, denied transitioning but longing so achingly to be a girl in spite of the horror and misery that seemed to plague us. So I have a problem with the obsession with sOcIaL mUrDeR that keeps getting tossed around these days, because of how degrading it is not only to how bad things still are with death after death after death, but how it disrespects what we came out of. But to directly act like soooocial murrrrrder was the big scary thing trans women feared back then? That's heinous. That's sickening. The social consequences all trans people were deathly afraid of back then was being outed as trans and then being fucking stabbed within twenty-four hours.
Even in spite of the election and what's coming next, how good we have it would be nigh-incomprehensible to the first trans men and women and non-binary people to be brave enough to advertise themselves as t4t to strangers. Like, I need everyone to understand that. They could not have wrapped their fucking heads around it. It'd be like explaining a circuit board to a Mesopotamian. One could show them a video of the Blue's Clues episode about queer people and it'd just register to them as migraine inducing static.
We're in such a better place than we were. And this is what people do with it.
Make up bullshit reasons to be angry at their siblings and imply they also didn't get murdered for being trans on a regular basis, or that even just trans women cared about an irritating buzzword, even as cishetpatriarchal fascism is empowered and determined to drag us back to the the horrific dark age that scholars refer to as Literally All of Human History Up Until Now.
Amazing.
Why do I even try. Like, with anything. Why do I get out of bed in the morning. I could have stayed in bed all day listening to rain sounds.
Anyway, that's my thoughts on that.
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Out of topic but who the fuck is Jimmy and what he have done?? (I just know he's probably a horrible person and is hated by half of the fandom)
Genuinely horrible disgusting guy. Okay so explaining all of this essentially involves every Mouthwashing spoiler conceivable but essentially the plot of mouth washing is centered around Jimmy and his horrible, selfish decisions. And I'm going to need you to think critically about his character and read my whole post and not just highlight a couple of words and immediately disengage. The cast consists of a 5-person team of people making a cargo delivery (Curly the Captain, Anya the Nurse, Jimmy the Co-Pilot, Swansea the Mechanic, and Daisuke the Intern) through space on a trip that was supposed to last about a year and a half or so. Jimmy sexually assaulted Anya (foreshadowed first with Anya mentioning to Curly in a flashback saying something along the lines of "Did you know that the nurse's office is locked but the bedrooms aren't?") leaving her pregnant. This is the catalyst for every single event in the game through a bunch of chain reactions, but essentially, Anya ended up telling Curly, who said he'd do anything to protect her but ended up trying to just keep things "neutral" after talking to Jimmy, who said he'd "fix things" because he's mainly spiraling about what would happen to HIM once they landed, and started ranting to Curly about a story the news would make about nobody on the ship surviving the trip in some tragic accident. Curly doesn't think Jimmy's serious and he's generally trying to figure out a way to defuse the situation and he's willing to sweep a lot of what's going on under the rug for his friend. Jimmy ends up crashing the ship on purpose, resulting in the fire that permanently disfigured and disabled curly and left him unable to speak (Jimmy framed him for crashing the ship, and Curly, not being able to speak, not being able to convince anyone otherwise. But people don't hate Curly at all on the ship, since to them, he's a good captain. Jimmy's not too pleased about this whole situation at all but he keeps talking about how he's responsible for everything because he's the captain now (and he's being haunted by hallucinations of crying babies and horses) and he's deliberately avoiding everything that has to do with thinking critically about what he did to Anya and is instead focusing on what he did to Curly especially. The crew slowly starves and slowly goes insane, there's pretty much nothing to eat anymore but the cargo they have, mouthwash, something specific happens but I don't entirely remember what (I think it was Anya trying to OD on purpose to abort her pregnancy and ending up dying) but it resulted in Daisuke getting injured to the point of no recovery and getting PUT DOWN by Swansea, Jimmy shooting Swansea in the head, and one of the last scenes in the game involves Jimmy cutting off Curly's leg and feeding it to him. My description here is genuinely not doing the game justice, there's a lot more to it and a lot more nuances that I missed here ("I hope this hurts", the lack of autonomy with the painkillers, the surprise birthday party, Jimmy's obsession with Curly that's a bit more subtle, the fact that Anya's character is purposefully muted due to Jimmy's perspective of her in the game, there's so much more) but yeah holy moly this game is insane. (It's less of a game and more of an interactive movie) Jimmy is such an insanely interesting character, he's like a train wreck given human form. Absolutely understandable that people hate him. But by god it is sssssSSSSSSO repetitive to hear nothing BUT how much people hate him.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#saisuke mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#punk speaks#asks
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What It Cost
****THIS IS A FICTIONAL STORY BASED ON REAL PEOPLE. 18+ ONLY. I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THE PEOPLE OR MUSIC MENTIONED IN THIS STORY OUTSIDE OF LILITH AND SADIE AND MAYBE A COUPLE OTHERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE NOT UP FOR FANFIC INVOLVING REAL PEOPLE***
Terrible summary: Five years since she last spoke to him. Since she last saw him. Now his face and his voice is everywhere. She can't escape him.
Five years ago Noah destroyed her and the life they had built. Now he’s back and seeking to make amends. As much as she wants to say that it's too little too late, is it?
CW/TW: Angst, mention of addiction, cheating. Mention of character death. Language. Smut (later on). PinV, unprotected PinV (wrap it before you tap it, friends), oral (f&m receiving). All smutty warnings happen later on, so I’ll update TW/CW warning labels as those parts are written and posted. If I forget anything, please let me know so I can fix it! Thank you!
Part 5 - Noah
Noah laid there in his bed, the only light coming from the screen of his phone. The only sound in the room the old videos he kept watching. It was all that kept him going when sobriety got to be a little too difficult. And right now, it was hard as fuck. Until the other night nobody outside of his therapist had known just how much he despised himself for the shit he had put Lilith through in the end. And now he had gone and blurted it out like a fucking idiot. Such a fucking idiot. So, rather than relapse he was going to watch these old videos as many times as it took until the anxiety passed.
Listening to her laughter, seeing the way her eyes crinkled just a bit at the corners when she smiled, in and of itself was its own form of mental torture, but God, did it help keep the urge to drink away. A reminder of what life was like before the one or two drinks every so often turned into three or four most nights of the week. Then getting blackout drunk most nights of the week. Soon it was steady drinking from the moment he woke up until he passed out later that night. Rinse and repeat.
"Noah, I swear to all that is unholy. If you don't stop recording me right now I'm cutting your hair in your sleep!"
Noah chuckled to himself as Lilly in the video stopped doing her hair to run from him, laughing uncontrollably at his feeble attempt to stop her without dropping his phone. He had been obsessed with recording every moment with her when he wasn't on tour. Some excuse of watching them when he missed her, which he did do, but honestly it was because he just couldn't get enough of her. Even when they bickered he hated not being near her, always finding a reason just be around her while she tried to ignore his presence. Which she inevitably failed at, every time. Because as much as she refused to admit it at first, she needed to be near him just as much as he did her. Once upon a time, anyway.
Heaving a weary sigh he scrolled to the next video, immediately being greeted by her and Danny dressing up a skeleton Halloween decoration. Noah outright laughed as he watched the two of them dressing the skeleton up, neither understanding the directions the other was giving. It was their first Halloween in this house, and Lilly had insisted on going all out for the kids in the neighborhood. She'd had the bright idea of dressing skeletons up as Bring Me The Horizon members to put in the yard as a skeleton band.
Just then Matt walked in, flipping the light on, blinding him.
"Jesus Christ, Matt!" He yelled, covering his eyes. "The fuck do you want?"
"You've been hiding in here too long. Get your ass up and meet me downstairs in five."
"Fuck off."
"See you in five."
Matt left, leaving the door wide open. Fucking asshole. He loved Matt, he did, but he was a fucking asshole sometimes. Couldn't he just be left to rot in fucking peace?
"Fucking asshole," he grumbled, rolling out of bed. If he didn't get down there Matt would be back, likely with a bucket of water to dump on him or something stupid like that.
Noah caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror as he walked past it, and outwardly cringed. He looked like shit. Hair stuck up in every which way, four days worth of stubble on his face. Well, what little bit he could grow, anyway. He reached for the hoodie he'd flung on the back of his chair, pulling it over his head as he stomped out his bedroom door and to the stairs. This better be good.
***
"If you really want to make amends, hiding after having a panic attack in her kitchen isn't the way to do it."
Matt's words swam around in his head, circling over and over again. He was still an asshole, but he meant well. Of course, he was right. But how would he even go about making amends? Would she even be open to allowing him to? The way she had looked at him that night, he wasn't so sure. However, she had done everything she could in that moment to help him. Shit, it had worked better than anything anyone else did after he got home.
Carefully he leaned forward, inspecting his now shaven face. Couldn't miss any spots or it would drive him nuts. He had always been that way, but since getting sober he was more meticulous about it. Everything had to be just so or he couldn't function properly until it was fixed. Satisfied he had gotten everything he stood back up, pulling a plain white shirt over his head.
First order of business was to get cleaned up. Second was to at least attempt to get a hold of her. If she didn't answer he would just show up. Well, maybe not unannounced. That hadn't exactly gone well last time. A repeat sounded like an absolutely terrible idea if he was honest. One panic attack she might forgive, but a second one? Hardly. He was surprised she even answered her phone the last time.
Speaking of, he picked his phone up off the counter, freezing over her name. Was this a call or text situation? Maybe he should have asked one of the guys first. Jolly would probably be the one to know. He knew her best these days. Unfortunately, Jolly was out with Sadie.
Fuck it. He would text her, and if she didn't get back to him after a while then he would call. For all he knew she was at work, anyway. Heart pounding in his chest he hit the button to text her, freezing at the last message he had received from her. The night he had fucked everything up beyond repair.
"Where are you? Noah, you're worrying me."
Tags: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard
#bad omens cult#noah sebastian#noah sebastian fanfiction#bad omens fanfiction#noah sebastian smut#angst#noah sebastian angst#noah sebastian fic
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what’s your thoughts on ouran? you mentioned you had a love / hate relationship with it and i think that would be interesting to hear
Oh god post that usually would be reserved for my sideblog incoming. Heads up this one might get uncomfortable, heed the tags. LONG POST.
TL;DR: it's a fun show that's neck deep in the misogyny sauce
I had the true ouran experience of watching it when I was 12 and thinking it was really funny but ultimately finished the show feeling mildly disappointed as well as being Very put off by one specific episode.
As a 12 year old I didn't really have the words to explain why but over the years I thought back to ouran again and again and the more I thought about it the more. Angry isn't really the right emotion I guess. Eyebrow raised emoji-y is more accurate.
Now that I am a bit older and wiser and have read more shoujo, I think the majority of the annoyance and confusion I felt towards ouran, especially nearing the end of the show, came from the fact that it pretty much bait-and-switches its own stance on gender roles, classism and judging by appearance. Please note that I have not rewatched ouran in many years so take all this with a grain of salt and forgive me for anything I'm straight up misremembering.
Haruhi, to me, embodies a very quintessential shoujo protagonist archetype. She's not necessarily radicalized against gender roles, but doesn't place the same importance in gendered performance as her peers. She's also viciously ambitious and doesn't downplay her own intelligence, qualities that her female peers around her have been conditioned to avoid in their cartoonishly extreme upper class upbringings.
However, the other girls' education being a direct result of their education is never really examined. All the other girls at ouran are presented as vapid and "boy-crazy" over the host club. Renge, the only major female character aside from Haruhi herself, is delegated to being comedic relief (and of course, the humour surrounding her almost always has to do with her obsession with Kyoya) with some not so subtle implications that Haruhi is above her girlish antics because Haruhi is... Better, to put it bluntly, in every way including her ability to appeal to men, which can be seen through Kyoya's neutral to distasteful opinion of Renge vs his somewhat unsubtle care and attraction towards Haruhi.
This very unflattering depiction of women other than Haruhi extends to the very queer-coded* Lobelia academy girls, who the host club spends an episode "rescuing" Haruhi from and, once again despite their group leader's more masculine look, reacts in shock and horror at their feminine interests. Eugh, makeup! Disgusting!
*pressing the "nuance" button on this one because we can't expect to apply our understanding of queer signalling on a Japanese highschooler, but the Lobelia girls are. Fairly blatant enough I feel that I almost don't even want to call it coding.
The girls in the show who aren't Haruhi are either boy-crazy and therefore stupid, side characters whose episodes are often tied to getting with a male love interest (who is always depicted as "plain" compared to the desirable men of the host club), rivals in love against Haruhi (like Eclair) or silly evil lesbians.
Speaking of the silly evil lesbians, I do think it's interesting how many times the show feels the need to restate Haruhi's heterosexuality through her endless amounts of blatant disinterest in her fangirls. I briefly wrote once on how patriarchal standards have an amount of gender-nonconformity that can be accepted with women, but violently withdraws that acceptance when it can be even slightly confused with signalling queerness. Every second boomer dad wants a tomboy daughter, yet none of them seem to want trans sons. Idk, food for thought.
It's also fascinating to me that Utena is so much older than Ouran, yet almost feels like a direct response to Ouran's pitfalls at times e.g. the "not like other girls" logic of Ouran's world that pits women against eachother. The only women deserving of sympathy are those who don't act as a "threat" to Haruhi's desireability, everyone else is stupid and beneath her or an evil bitch.
The one woman who is always shown as intelligent and worthy of respect outside of Haruhi herself is Haruhi's deceased mother. Interesting that she had to be dead and more of a concept and motivator for Haruhi instead of.. a character.
If the show was just a marina and the diamonds girls simulator that would be one thing but what I find even more insidious is that not only does it not respect its female cast, Haruhi herself is almost. Instructed? In the show to uphold patriarchal rhetoric, when she entered as a neutral force. With the fact that she acts as the audience stand-in, I find this just the smallest bit troubling.
ESPECIALLY. when talking about the specific episode that really gave me the "I don't like this alot but I can't describe why" feelings when I was 12. Everything else in the show I can look past but this episode genuinely pissed me the fuck off when I was 12 and pisses me off even more now.
I'm talking of course about the "better remember your place in society or men will rape you!!"
In episode 8, the host club visits the beach but instead of the fun beach episode I thought was coming up, 12 year old me was hit was Haruhi being scolded by Tamaki for trying to defend a group of girls from ruffians, simply because she is a girl. Haruhi obviously gets mad.
This in of itself is fine, Tamaki's been shown to be an idiot and very deep in the misogyny/classism sauce, and the way this show mocks that is why I really like him.
But Tamaki is supposed to be IN THE RIGHT this episode, as later Kyoya pretends that he's going to rape Haruhi to teach her a lesson about why women shouldn't confront men I guess. Which, of course, implies quite a lot of very strange things in a show made for young girls, including that if you just abide by gender expectations that are Good and Keep You Safe you... won't be raped? Haruhi even thanks Kyoya for PRETENDING HE WAS GOING TO RAPE HER ?
It's this. Very strange and hypocritical moment for this show and really, really soured Kyoya's character for me -- which is a shame cus I do think he's one of the most interesting club members. I'll never not fume about this episode man I literally got into fights with friends over this episode being garbage as a kid and it was one of the smartest opinions I had at that age.
It's also gross to me that this whole thing revolved around, in the first place, Haruhi trying to defend other girls. In a show that keeps isolating Haruhi from them. So to recap 1. DO NOT seek out relationships with other women, they are vapid and won't understand you, certainly not more than the men in your life and 2. If you defend other women (from men), you're being stupid. Get a man to handle it instead, because it's men's duty to defend women, not yours. and if you violate this natural order you deserve to get raped. Hashtag some gender roles are good, actually.
I also have more thoughts on the way it's presented as if being raped as a woman is the worst thing imagineable but Renge's stalker tendencies towards Kyoya are played up for laughs. Shrugs.
The episode even ends with Haruhi saying she wasn't afraid because she knew Kyoya wasn't going to do it, but then ending up in a curled up helpless ball anyway because of. some thunder. really awesome. While I don't have any problem with exploring Haruhi's vulnerability, we never see any of the boys in such a state, reinforcing that this isn't about dropping the facade of unemotional masculinity but Haruhi being... a girl. Barf.
Even completely disregarding that episode, the messaging is. Strange to say the least. I do think this one might be the thing that gets me shot because Tamaki Does come around to appreciating Haruhi as a person and not simply a "woman", but the fact remains that she still acts as a "love interest" from beginning to end. And the whole dynamic of. Haruhi going from completely disinterested to fond of Tamaki over time, and Tamaki learning to abandon his playboy ways and see Haruhi as a person is totally fine and okay. BUT it is a little bit. Oh so NOW you want to talk about seeing women as people.
I feel that I've been. very focused on the hate part of the love hate and I'll be real nowadays that is very much the dominant half. I still like the show just for nostalgia value, the humour, as well as the host club members themselves. Morii and Honey specifically have a really awesome dynamic and I wish we got to see Honey go berserker more but it is what it is. Kyoya, rapey moment aside, is also really fun and maybe one of those characters that made me realise what kind of tropes I like. I will not stand a word of Hikaru and Kaoru slander, those boys are awesome and their incestuous club personas are a great parody of how performative the club really is, and through that how performative society as a whole is when dealing with attraction as a concept. And I actually really like the side characters too, the emo catboy and Renge in particular.
But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't perhaps one of the most anti-feminist bait and switches I'd ever seen in my life.
Haruhi's not even gender-nonconforming!! She's just a normie with a normal amount of care put into gendered presentation but because she's in the psychopath rich people school she SEEMS gender-nonconforming!! Which is fine as I've said before I think a lot of shoujo protagonists are like Haruhi in that their gender is more "I just work here" at best and something used to oppress them at worst, but Haruhi goes out of her way to present more feminine the moment she leaves the school gates.
Big words for this show to come out swinging saying gender roles and expectations attached to them are dumb when its so terrified of actually tackling them. I don't require everything I watch to be queer queer gay gay homosexual transgender beam attack but like?? Why have Haruhi say she dgaf and then have her present feminine anyway? Especially when it's been highlighted to us that her family is dirt poor, yet she still has the money for hair extensions? You're telling me she decided to cut ALL OF HER HAIR OFF FOR A TINY PIECE OF GUM. for no reason at all when she could've easily just cut it into a bob??
FTR I do still like Haruhi which is what makes this all the more frustrating, especially since she's one of the few female anime characters who we're told is supposed to be masc-presenting and actually could pass as that. Mf questioned the system of gender and then proceeded to do fuckall with it. Gets forced into crossdressing but underlines it with "but im not a lesbian" the whole way through. What cowardice. What theory and no practice. What bark but no bite. What a non-theme. Haruhi is the opposite of punk. Centrist ass take of an anime.
Ahem. Biases aside. I just feel like it fails as a romance, fails saying anything substantial about gender or class and ultimately ends up being meaningless fluff at best and pro-rapist and anti-woman at worst.
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Im not a fan of every argument made here on either side, so first I'll get a few things out of the way;
1, that abuse victims often go on to be abusers themselves if they don't put in the work necessary to heal from their own abuse, that's what people are talking about when they refer to the CYCLE of abuse. To deny that is... Also uncomfortable. Being a victim of abuse does not make you exempt from abusing other people. 2, I wish we'd stop equating toxic with abusive because there is a difference. 3, i don't think autistic coding is really a fair defense of said toxic traits I'm gonna be real. There's nothing wrong with headcanons and projection but just to focus on what actually happened in the series without using headcanon to excuse harmful behavior. I don't know what traits are being referred to as "autistic coded" here so honestly I'm not gonna touch that with a ten foot pole and just focus on what we see;
Its hard for people to accept, but abuse does not happen on accident. Abuse is an intentional choice one makes. And over all, no, Ford isn't abusive. He, throughout the series and due to a combination of his self-centeredness and being a victim of abuse (hell, his self-centeredness was weaponized against him as part of the abuse) was absolutely toxic for most of the time we've seen him.
The argument that he abused Fiddleford is so stupid I'm not even going to acknowledge it. The thing with Stan is, he frankly wasn't around him enough to actually abuse him. A one time event is not abuse. A single fight is not abuse. Abuse is long and drawn out and, as I said earlier, intentional. And, like what was already pointed out, Ford was in a bad state. He'd reached the point of Bill going fully mask off, so to speak, and the abuse now being at it's worst. He was fully isolated and sleep deprived and it made him crazy. Yes, his unwillingness to destroy the journals was deeply selfish and another mark of how self-centered he is. It's the definition of irrational. But, once again, he wasn't in a spot where he could think rationally. (Granted, even if he was, I still don't think he would've been willing to destroy the journals because his self importance and self centeredness is one of his biggest flaws and an important part of his character)
The closest Ford ever comes to being abusive is, yes, with dipper. He starts telling him a lot of the same things we know Bill told him at the start of their partnership; you're special, we need each other, these other people are only holding you back. Nobody understands you like I do. When Dipper expresses concern for Mabel, Ford is immediately dismissive. He looks at Dipper and all he sees is himself, and all he sees in Mabel is Stan. He is the one who pushed that dichotomy, because he really couldn't think outside of himself.
His greatest flaw is that he's self centered and self obsessed. But the thing is, is that he learns his lesson. It takes literal apocalypse to get there, but he does learn and he does reflect and he does apologize and try to do better. He course corrects. Gravity falls, ultimately, is about family bonds and breaking the cycle of abuse. Ford almost continued that cycle with Dipper, but he stopped before any permanent damage could be done, both to their relationship, and to Dipper and Mabels. He fixed his relationship with Stan.
He did in fact have abusive tendencies and toxic traits but ultimately he put in the work to fix them and be better. Ford is a well written and well balanced character. He displays how someone even with good intentions can unintentionally fall back into cruel and toxic habits, and can start repeating the abuse they were put through. He also shows that you can come back from that. That starting down that path doesn't mean you have to stay there. That it's possible to heal and get better.
None of what I'm saying is an indictment of Ford's character. The opposite: he is complex and well written and imperfect, and I love him and his character arc. He could've been so easily made into an irredeemable villain, a no good bastard who's just horrible and abusive. He had all those pieces laid out. But the choice and skill to actually have him go through the motions of falling into abusive tendencies and then getting better is amazing on Alex Hirsch's part, and a testament to his ability to write deep and complex characters.
(also this is just kind of my own aside but the use of "autistic-coded" as like an excuse for how a character acts is really annoying to me for a number of reasons? For one, just off the bat, it's an attempt to make your headcanon sound more canon than it is, but by nature of being a headcanon, it's not really a fair or valid argument here. Second, there are ways to make a legitimate argument and analysis of a characters actions in canon and debate criticisms of their actions without saying "they're autism coded so actually you must hate autistic people", like it's okay, you're allowed to make a legitimate argument. Also, "character did shitty thing because they're autistic" isn't the win you think it is, because let's be real, you're either implying that they have no autonomy over their actions because of their autism, or that you think autism makes people shitty or toxic, neither of which is the win you think it is. Ironically lack of media literacy applies in both cases here, just for different reasons. Okay side rant over, just wanted to throw that out there because holy hell it's something that is used so much in fandom and it gets grating after a while.)
The tldr here is that Ford isn't an abuser. He was abused, he had toxic and abusive traits, but he put in the work to heal and better himself. He's by no means perfect and that's okay, he's a good character, and he's actually trying to be better.
Today in "I hate autistic-coded abuse victims", this shitty take.
Ford did not abuse Stan. He did not abuse Fiddleford. He did not try to drive a wedge in Dipper and Mabel's relationship (he was doing what he thought was best for Dipper and thought Mabel would be fine).
Just admit you hate autistic people and have no compassion for abuse victims. And admit you have no media literacy.
Also, calling a canonical abuse victim an abuser is...uncomfortable, to say the least. Especially with how you're just making him out to be abusive for...not handling personal interactions perfectly. You're demonizing autistic traits. And you need to research how abuse can effect people.
(Also, I know Ford's not perfect. But you don't seem to know that he's flawed but ultimately a good person. You just want a "perfect victim" when it comes to abuse victims, and it's obvious)
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nietzsche & batman/superman: world's finest
#i'm so obsessed with them you don't understand#using just world's finest because the art is gorgeous#if you saw this accidentally post last night no you didn't#batman#bruce wayne#superman#clark kent#superbat#web weaving
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the best friends ever actually
#doodle because i can't be bothered to actually draw anything#but i NEEDED to draw them because I'm obsessed#they're so silly you don't understand#i love them#<3#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#npmd starkid#ruth fleming#peter spankoffski#pete spankoffski#richie lipschitz#richard lipschitz#my art#doodle
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#THIS SHOW IS DRIVING ME INSANE#YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND#THERE WAS A WHOLE CONVERSATION IN THOSE LOOKS#THEY ARE SO GOOD#i might be a bit late to this#but it was only today that i could watch this on a proper screen#i'm in awe#i'm obsessed with them#i feel you linger in the air#thai bl
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realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards
*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#clone^2#danny fenton is a clone#like i dont even need to traumatize you worse the pure explorative options from this aLONE is enough to feed me for a week.#like. tucks hair behind ear let me shatter you into glass pieces then glue you back together babe. i can put you back together so good.#i'm missing a few shards because some parts of you broke into such small pieces i couldn't pick them back up again so you'll be missing a#few chunks of yourself that you'll never get back but that's okay. you'll still be a resemblance of your old self :]#don't let anakin (me) listen to late night sad songs he makes angst.#hhh imagine being stuck in a house for two weeks where you can hear your parents torturing ghosts in the basement and not only that but#you're the only person who can undERSTAND the ghosts. how many times did he see his parents drag in a ghost with whatever capturing device#they made recently? iirc the thermos was like. brand new in episode one right? but gOD the trauma this alone would cause#nobody touch me im cooking rn i need to think about how this would impact danny. like obvs it would fuel into a developing obsession to#keep his parents away from ghosts and to help the dead but what *else.* i need to refine my becoming phantom ficlet i wrote back in winter#raaa#and like even after two weeks they were *still capturing ghosts* danny just wasn't in the house 24/7 at the time.#*but those two fucking weeks man*#i need to sleep on this first before i make any major moves bc i know im tired but i am having thOUGHTs
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I can't find art of my ship anywhere so I GUESS that means I have to make it myself, here are some doodles.
#ugh i can't believe i have to make my own shipping fanart#tfw you're complaining to your sister that you can't find any content of them but then you remember you have the power#man i do not know how to draw kissing or hugging or any of that romantic stuff#mostly i just know how to put paragraphs of dialogue in between two talking heads#but this seems to be something of a rarepair even though they are obsessed with each other so i suppose i gotta try#karlach#lae'zel#shipping#bg3#baldurs gate 3#karlzel#i think that's the ship name but i have found so little of them that i'm genuinely not sure#laelach#(just in case)#but come on they're perfect! they're sunshine/raincloud! dog energy/cat energy! tall/small! hot and cold! canonically into each other!#character who represses sadness and character who doesn't understand happiness! pretty girls who can both bench press each other!#considering what their banter looks like i don't get how this isn't a more popular pairing. who else does karlach wistfully sigh over?#my sister tells me that lae'zel is not well-liked by the wider fandom and that that may be why (so sorry if other people have bad taste)#or maybe people don't often put the barbarian and the fighter together in the same party at the same time#anyway now that you're 100% convinced feel free to draw them making out so that i don't have to k thx <3
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