#i'm so obsessed with them you don't understand
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mrsshabana · 4 hours ago
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𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐫. 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐡 :・゚✧
꒦꒷‧₊ Content Mr. Crawling x gender!neutral!reader, MDNI, nudity, fluff, suggestive but no smut ꒦꒷‧₊ Note 1.5k words. Mr. Crawling is so cute, I just had to write a fic where we take care of him. He deserves it (╥ ‸ ╥)
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He followed you like a lost puppy.
The entity that clung to you like his life depended on it, refusing to return to the world in which he came from. His intentions aren't clear, but he isn't causing any harm so you had no issue with him sticking around.
Mr. Crawling was what you called him. He spoke a strange language you couldn't understand at first, but after spending so much time with him you picked it up after a while.
When you get home from work he's always so excited to see you, chirping excitedly and grinning widely at the sight of his favorite human.
As soon as you arrive he sticks to you like glue, watching you as you do mundane tasks or relax around the house.
Tonight you were making spaghetti, and Mr. Crawling seemed extra intrigued by you cooking the dish.
He peers up at the stovetop, watching as you heat up the tomato sauce. His curiosity gets the best of him as he tries to get a better view, he bumps into you. Causing the red sauce to topple over and spill all over him.
"Mr.Crawling!" you shout, "I'm so sorry!"
He just smiles and licks the sauce off of his face. Seemingly not affected by the hot temperature or the fact that it has splattered all over his clothes.
"You ok?" you ask in his language.
"Me surprise! Saturate clothes, hair, body!" he says between giggles.
You're glad he finds it funny and he's not upset. You don't know what you'd do if you ever saw Mr. Crawling cry.
But he's right, he's completely covered in sauce and his clothes will need to be washed right away.
You kneel down to his level and wipe away the excess sauce with a paper towel, "Me take care of you."
"Me grateful," he smiles wide, leaning into your touch as you clean him off.
You know this won't be enough though, he needs a bath. But you feel slightly awkward giving him one. Not that you mind caring for him, but as far as you know there isn't a word for bath or clean in his language so you don't know how to ask him if he's okay with it. And the thought of seeing Mr. Crawling naked... well you've never really considered it before. But thinking about it makes your cheeks redden and your body heat up.
First things first, after cleaning the chunks of tomato you take his hand and lead him into the bathroom before you try explaining to him.
"Um... Mr. Crawling," you mumble, "Me change you clothes. Water container. You give clothes?" You try to explain it to the best of your ability as you hold out your hand.
"Saturate clothes, water correct! Me give," he nods and takes off his clothes.
There's no embarrassment or shyness evident as he removes his clothes. Mr. Crawling is either just too innocent, or he's just so comfortable around you that he knows he has nothing to be shy or embarrassed about.
You try not to look at his body as you take his clothes. Hurried walking to the laundry room and shoving them into the machine at a rushed pace.
You know he's waiting patiently for you to return and give him his bath but you have to try to calm down first! Your creepy cute ghostly roommate is naked in your bathroom right now and you're freaking out!
Mr. Crawling may act like a pet, but this isn't like giving your dog a bath or something! Maybe it feels so strange because your relationship with Mr. Crawling isn't well-defined.
He's obviously obsessed with you and adores you in every way, but is it romantic? You aren't sure...
However, you do feel confident that Mr. Crawling wouldn't say no to being in a romantic relationship with you if you asked. Judging by how he constantly craves your affection, touch, and attention - he'd probably love it.
And you'd be lying to yourself if you ignored the feelings you had for him. Sure he's not human, but he's so sweet and genuinely cares about you.
Before you met him sometimes you felt like if you disappeared no one would care. You felt insignificant in the grand scheme of things. On lonely nights you'd question why you're even here at all. Is there even a point?
But Mr. Crawling changed all of that.
When you leave, you know Mr. Crawling is always waiting in front of the door for you to return. No matter how long it took, even if it was 100 years, he would still wait for you.
He makes you feel important for the first time in your life. Like if something happened to you he wouldn't rest until he was able to have you again - even if he spent eternity searching for you. He wouldn't stop looking for his favorite human. That's how much you mean to him.
And if that's not the definition of love then you don't know what is. Because it's obvious that Mr. Crawling loves you, and honestly you love him too.
"Mr. Crawling..." you whisper as you walk into the bathroom again.
He turns and makes that high-pitched sound he makes when he's happy.
"Water container, correct," you say, patting his head as you start the faucet.
"Me go into?" he tilts his head to the side, not sure what to do. The gesture is cute and makes you smile.
You nod, "You go into container."
Even though he's never had a bath before, he trusts you and gets into the tub. Watching in awe as his long hair floats to the surface, creating long black streaks within the water.
You can't help but blush as you look at his body. Never had you expected him to be so toned under his loose-fitting clothes. Especially his chest and arms. But it makes sense, he crawls around all day so his upper body strength has to be good, right?
Now that you're seeing him like this, you can't help but notice how long his legs are too. You've never actually seen him stand so it never occurred to you how tall he could be. Judging by how he fits into the tub, he must be taller than any person you've ever met before.
Imagine if he stood up like this...
Your thoughts drift and you get distracted, accidentally pouring loads of bubble bath into the tub instead of just a tad to keep him occupied.
"Fun! Fun!" He shouts excitedly as the tub fills with foaming bubbles, completely covering his body and overflowing from the tub.
"Shit!" you say under your breath, cursing yourself for letting those perverted thoughts sneak into your head. You can't stay mad though as you watch him giggle and play with the bubbles. Why does he have to be so freaking cute?
As he has the time of his life, you dig through the bubbles to clean him. Starting with his body and finishing with his hair. Taking over an hour to wash his hair alone.
As you clean his hair he experiments with these fluffy white things he's never seen before. Curiously eating them, sculpting them with his hands, and even putting them on you. He takes a clump of bubbles and forms them into cat ears on the top of your head.
"You cute!" he shouts excitedly.
You smile and do the same for him, "You cute!"
"We cute together!!" he smiles, having the funnest time with you.
Finally, once he's been all cleaned you help him dry off as he sits on your bathroom floor, watching curiously as the bubbles get sucked down the drain.
His clothes aren't quite done yet so in the meantime you let him wear an old pair of pajamas. They're pink Hello Kitty pajamas to be exact. Sure you had a plain black set that would do as well, but you just couldn't resist putting him in this. He looks so adorable as he crawls into the bed with you, laying on your lap as you brush his hair.
"Water container fun..." he mumbles on the edge of falling asleep, "Again again."
"Fun again," you smile, promising to give him another bath someday.
"Thank you," he nuzzles into you, "Me like you. Like you much..."
"Me like you much," you kiss the top of his head, "Me take care of you, you rest."
He doesn't want to sleep, he wants to stay up with you all night taking baths and playing with bubbles. But being in your embrace as you take care of him is just too much to resist. He hopes you'll do this again soon, or maybe you'll let him give you a bath and brush your hair next time.
He quickly drifts off to sleep, thinking about all of the fun things he wants to do with you. Meanwhile, you sit there and brush his long hair for another hour. Though you don't mind. Sitting here with him, brushing his hair as he sleeps on your lap, it doesn't get any better than this.
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killerelysia · 2 days ago
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Pardonnez-moi, Monsieur!- Solivan brugmansia x Yan!G.N Reader! (Part 2!)
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The kid at the back is a 18+ visual novel Minors don't interact!
Words:9000
Genre: Yandere-(Self aware yandere won the poll)
Summary: You’ve become consumed by your obsession with Solivan Brugmansia. What started as innocent curiosity quickly spiraled into a fixation. He started it and you began to stalk him, learning every detail about his life. You felt a sick sense of satisfaction in making Sol’s world safer while growing increasingly delusional about your connection with him. Your love for him deepens as you fantasize about the future, convinced that you are the one who truly understands him—better than anyone else. Despite the line between reality and obsession blurring, you remain certain: Sol is yours, even if he doesn’t know it yet.. You're his and he's yours...
( Reader is a g.n!)-
Trigger Warning: This content contains themes of obsessive behavior, stalking, manipulation, mental instability, and delusional thinking, Drugging, Yandere?, Hopeless in love for attention Please read with caution.
Obsessive behavior: The reader becomes dangerously fixated on someone, bordering on stalking and delusion.
Manipulation: The reader engages in schemes to control or harm others, often through deception.
Mental illness: Delusional thinking, possible dissociation from reality, and unhealthy fixation on someone.
Violence: There are references to bullying, physical harm, and emotional manipulation.
Emotional abuse: Both in terms of how the protagonist manipulates others and how they might internalize toxic behaviors.
Stalking: The reader watches and follows the person they are obsessed with.
EXTRA: He's a character from a game named The kid at the back!! Note, The relationship presented here between sol and reader is extremely toxic!! In no way, Just because I'm writing doesn't mean I support this kind of toxicity. Note, It's okay to like sol if you know the flaws and don't be a blind eye on them! Again, I don't support his actions etc! If you hate sol ignore this.
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It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of Annabel Lee.
DAY 1: The Beloved
“I will not accept one paragraph! I need two whole pages filled with words. Everyone got that?”
The teacher’s voice grated on your ears like nails on a chalkboard. Not that the assignment was hard—you could churn out two pages in your sleep if you wanted to. Writing wasn’t the issue. No, the real problem was the waste.
Two pages of meaningless drivel on some boring topic when you could be filling those pages with him. Words dedicated to Sol, the way his green-streaked hair falls just so, the sharpness of his jawline, the way he speaks as if he’s barely trying and yet every word hooks you like a line to the heart. Two pages about Sol? Easy. Two pages about anything else? Insulting.
You shift in your seat, feeling the familiar burn in your chest. It’s not anger exactly—it’s this gnawing, this aching thing that starts deep inside you every time someone pulls your focus away from him.
And your journal. Oh, your journal. You’d filled its pages with his name, over and over again. Sketches of him, even ones of the two of you together—his hand in yours, his lips grazing your cheek. Perfect. You flip it closed quickly, sliding it under your textbook as a passing student glances your way. No one gets to see those. They wouldn’t understand.
You glance at the clock. The rooftop. You’re running out of time. You bite your lip and glance at the book again. Just one more sketch… no, focus!
The doodle of you and Sol holding hands stares back at you. It’s so cute, you can’t help the small giggle bubbling in your throat. What would he think if he saw this? Would he call it pathetic or perfect? Would he notice the details? The way I drew him smiling?
The smile falters. No.
Not yet. He doesn’t get to see this yet—not until it’s perfect. Not until you are perfect.
With a deep breath, you slam the book shut and stand, forcing the manic swirl of thoughts into a neat little box in the back of your mind. Control. Stay calm. Don’t let anyone see.
There’s plenty of time to admire him later. For now, you’ll play along, just like always.
But inside, your thoughts swirled, chaotic and relentless. You could feel the edges of your obsession creeping in, clawing at your composure.
Why Sol? Why does he get to me like this? Is it his smile? The way his voice sounds like music when he talks to Hyugo about me? Maybe it’s his obesseion Or maybe it’s because I’m just...
You paused, staring blankly at the paper in front of you. Messed up. Rotten. Broken. No wonder I’m drawn to him. He’s the only one who makes me feel like I could be fixed.
You shook your head, banishing the thought. No time for self-pity. You had to get to the rooftop soon, and you couldn’t go up there acting like some lovesick fool.
Standing up from your seat, you were about to grab your bag when you felt a tap on your shoulder.
Turning around, you saw Brittney—the Chipette—no, Crowe’s friend. Her. You pause, giving her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she’s trying to talk to you, pretend to be friendly. It must be Crowe’s idea. Of course, it is. Brittney doesn’t do anything without some ulterior motive, right? Sharp tongue wrapped in hard words. But… maybe she’s different. she’s kind. Sometimes, she actually tries. It's just she's bad at talking.
A fallen angel in disguise.
You tilt your head slightly, watching her fumble. She doesn’t know how to approach you. Does she think I’m some kid who needs to be scolded? Her nervous glance tell you that. She’s probably going to say something about how wrong it is to obsess over Sol. Does she know? She doesn't know. No one knows.
And Sol isn’t a “kid.” He’s perfect. He’s 6’ of celestial art, every inch of him carved like he was meant to be worshipped, adored. He’s everything. You feel your pulse quicken just thinking about him.
“Hey, you’re going to lunch with us, right?” Brittney starts, pulling you back. “I mean, you should. I don’t usually see you in the cafeteria nowadays, so you must not be eating properly…”
You blink at her. Lunch? The cafeteria? You don’t go there anymore. Not since Sol.
Because Sol hates it. He hates the noise.
He didn’t say it outright, of course. He doesn’t have to. You know it. You feel it in the way he moves, in the small looks he gives the space, in the way he brushes off people there. It’s loud. It’s annoying. He doesn’t like it. So you don’t like it either.
It’s one of the small ways you show your love for him, even if he doesn’t know. Even if no one knows. You don’t need their approval. You don’t need their judgment. You learned to cook, after all! Sol likes to cook too. Isn’t that just fate? It’s like the universe tying you together, thread by thread.
You learned to decorate your food everyday so when he sees he can smile. You made sure to change your wallpaper to a pumpkin so when he might try to check, he will think you like them..
Its all for him..
You always come early, leave your food on your spot on the rooftop so you can watch him later. Just watch. When he’s with Hyugo, you catch glimpses of their meals. Sol always seems to cook for him.
Sol cooks for Hyugo…
Your chest twists. Your grip tightens on your bag.
You wonder when it’ll be you. When will it be you he cooks for? When will you be the one he eats with, laughs with, looks at? Domestic, happy, married—together, forever.
"We will be a happy family together, right Sol? Don't we be together forever...?"
The thought makes your stomach flutter, your lips twitch into an almost-smile. You’re almost dizzy with it. Wouldn’t that be perfect? Wouldn’t that be just right? Sol and you, a home, no one else, just the two of you…
Your breath catches. Stop. Not here. Not in front of her. Keep it together. Keep it together. Keep it—
“Hello? You okay?” Brittney’s voice pulls you back.
You blink. Smile. Tilt your head like nothing’s wrong. “I’m fine,” you say, even though you can still feel that wild, spiraling need thrumming in your chest.
Sol would be proud of how well you can hide it. Don’t you think?
You were about to refuse politely, maybe even brush her off, but then Brittney added something that made your blood freeze.
"How can you keep up with classes looking like that? You look like you haven't slept in months. You almost look like a crazed person."
Excuse me?
The words hit like a slap, a harsh reminder of how others saw you. You felt your skin flush, the urge to lash out simmering beneath the surface. No one, no one, was supposed to notice that. Not her. Not anyone. She didn’t know what you were really up to—how could she?
But you caught yourself, staring at her without blinking, trying to suppress the bitter taste in your mouth. You had to hold it together. She was just… clueless. Clueless in the same way everyone else was. She didn't know what you did, how you spent your nights, how you fed your obsession, how you kept everything in line. To her, you were just the weird, sleep-deprived kid who could barely hold it together in class.
You blinked slowly, trying to keep your expression neutral. Don’t let her see how much her words hurt. No one was supposed to see that. You felt a little… off, but you didn’t let it show. You were in control, at least, on the outside.
She realized, too late, that she'd crossed a line. The awkwardness in the air was thick, and you could almost see the regret flicker behind her eyes. Maybe she felt sorry for you? But no, it wasn’t pity. It was something else. Something… less clean.
In truth, you felt a small pang of something almost like guilt. It was strange. You felt… bad for her? You knew Brittney had no idea what she was stepping into. How could she? She wasn’t part of this world you had so carefully constructed, a world that only you understood. She was just someone who thought she was being kind, trying to make conversation.
You sighed softly, resisting the urge to show any emotion. She didn’t deserve to feel bad about it. No, she didn’t deserve that.
"That's really insensitive of you! Imagine if someone else told you about how you look," Crowe’s voice cuts through, a protector once again.
You glance at Brittney. Ugh, such a showoff, trying to play the hero. You barely let it phase you, though. You’re above this.
"Brittney’s just trying, Crowe, I don’t really take offense,” you say, smiling sweetly, but it’s more for your own benefit than anyone else’s.
Crowe looks at you, clearly taken aback. Oh, poor Crowe, so clueless. He thought you’d be hurt? You almost giggle at his innocence.
“Well, you’re the one who insisted on me initiating talk. If you really want to rescue them, there are better ways to be their prince charming, Crowe.” You throw a playful smirk his way. This game’s so easy. He’s trying so hard… for what?
You snicker, watching his face twist in confusion. God, he’s like a lost child when their momma takes away their candy. It’s almost adorable…
"You could’ve done it more nicely, you know. A simple invite would’ve sufficed,” he murmur, you still have the sweet smile plastered across your face. He’s pushing so hard for attention. What’s he trying to prove? You don’t need more friends. Friends are just competition… people getting in the way of your Sol. It's a distraction.
You glance over at the three people you know in the circle—one of them, Subaru. The thought of him nearly makes your stomach churn. Such a fool. You shake your head.
Love is what makes a Subaru a Subaru
You choke on your own thoughts, trying to push the smile from your face. Shut up, Y/n. Just shut up for a second. That quote doesn't deserve Geo
“Damn Brit, you sure are bad at socializing! Hey, Geo! Looks like you’ve got competition!” Deryl’s voice cuts in, a stupid grin spreading across his face.
Brittney’s face turns red. You feel your lips curl into a soft, dangerous smile. Time to save the poor thing.
"At least she tries something," you say, cutting into the moment. "Unlike Mr. Scaramoose over here… Mister Deryl Helianth. It’s okay…"
Deryl’s eyes widen. "You know my full government name?!?" The jock is practically bouncing with excitement. How cute. He thinks it matters.
You smile sweetly. "No, not at all." You really didn’t need to know anything about him. You’ve just been collecting information on everyone. Your eyes flick over to the name data you’ve carefully pulled from the class roster. But Sol’s name isn’t on there… why isn’t his name listed? The thought itches at the back of your mind. I’ll check the Art class today.
Sigh…
"They must have gotten it from the student council. You helped me a lot that day, Y/n. Thanks," Crowe says with a soft smile. Oh, how genuine. How sweet.
But you did it for yourself, didn’t you? You did it to make sure you knew everything about him. To see if Sol was in the same room. Same class..
Any class...
Crowe’s obliviousness is almost painful, but you don’t let it show.
You shake the thought away. Sol, Sol, Sol. There you go again, thinking about him. You feel a silly, wild smile threatening to take over your face. Great job, Y/n. You almost look like a crazy person again.
“Shut the fuck up, Deryl!” Brittney screeches, saving you from your own spiraling thoughts.
You sigh in relief. Finally, a distraction.
While they bicker, you look at Geo, sticking your tongue out. You know it’ll annoy him, and that’s just too fun to pass up. His angry gaze snaps to you. You flash him your sweetest, most angelic smile in return.
Oh, Geo… you think, enjoying his discomfort just a little too much. You turn your gaze to the meek girl beside Brittney, Jess, who’s been silent the whole time. Poor thing. Probably doesn’t even realize how much you hate her existence.
“Sorry,” He says putting on a sympathetic voice. “They’re kind of a rowdy bunch, huh?”
Crowe laughs, scratching the back of his head. “You’re the most normal person I know, Y/n.”
Normal? Oh, if only you knew. If only he could see the things you hide. The way your mind swirls with dark thoughts. The plans you’ve already made.
"Normal?" You smile sweetly again. "Yeah, sure!"
Normal? Sure, if that’s what they want to think. But behind those eyes of yours, it's a whole different story. Behind those closed doors, in the stillness of your room, you sit there, mapping out every move Sol makes. Watching. Waiting. Planning.
You’ve got this figured out. It’s mutual craziness, isn’t it? Stalking is just a step closer to true love, right? After all, Sol’s already there, watching you too.
Crowe introduces Jess to you, and you can’t help but pinch her cheek. Just like Sol would. Your heart skips a beat at the thought, the way you’d touch Sol the same way, so tenderly, so possessively.
You smile, your eyes glazing over, lost in the fantasy.
"Thank Beyonce," you think, when Brittney screams again, snapping you out of your daydream.
"Are you coming with us or what?" Brittney asks, her voice cutting through the haze of your thoughts.
Geo and Deryl exchange whispers. You don’t hear the words, but the feeling between them is thick, charged. Geo glances at you, his eyes narrowing, an intensity behind them that makes your stomach twist in knots.
You just smile and shrug. “I’m not coming. I’ve got to do something about the assignment.”
Crowe furrows his brows, unsure. “Are you sure?”
Geo pushes him out of the way, throwing a glance at you. His eyes are cold, pissed off. But why? Why would he be mad?
You don’t care. “Yeah, I’m sure. I want to see how the show plays out today, just like yesterday. Like the day before. And so on.”
You giggle, the insanity behind your eyes barely concealed. “Thanks, George of the Jungle!”
Geo hisses under his breath, storming off. Good riddance.
Finally, you’re alone, the game once again in your hands.
You approached the usual vent that led to the rooftop, your thoughts on the familiar, quiet solitude awaiting you there. You needed it more than ever. But as you got closer, your heart sank. The vent… it was blocked. A large metal panel, freshly installed, covered the usual opening.
You froze for a moment, blinking in disbelief, your mind racing. No, no, no… This was your only escape. Your only way to break free from the suffocating weight of everything. You reached forward, pressing your hand against the cool metal, but it didn’t budge. It felt like the world itself was closing in around you.
Your gaze shot over to the construction worker nearby, the one handling some tools by the wall. You quickly approached him, a sense of urgency bubbling in your chest. "Hey, what's going on with the vent?" you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.
He looked up, wiping his brow before answering. “Oh, that? A tall student, Subaru, complained about the vents being damaged. The university decided to get it fixed right away. They’re installing some new system to keep people from sneaking up through there. Too many people have been climbing in and out, I guess. They said it needed to be blocked off.”
Your blood ran cold as the realization hit you like a sledgehammer. Subaru. That tall, irritating… Scaramouche wannabe.
Damn it.
You almost couldn't breathe, the frustration building inside you so quickly it hurt. You clenched your fists so tightly, your nails dug into your palm. It was him. That bastard had complained about the vents just to block your access. He knew! He knew how much you relied on that small escape, that bit of freedom. And now it was gone—ruined because of his petty complaint.
“Wait," you snapped, your voice dangerously low, "Can you fix it? Please. I need to get through." You could feel the heat rising to your face, a mix of anger and panic. You had to get up there. You had to see Sol. There was no other way.
The construction worker shook his head. “Sorry, kid. They’ve already decided to seal it up. The system’s being locked down. No going through there anymore. If it's rooftop just use the damned stairs. Even then, kids are not gonna listen. Even grownups like you are idiotic."
But you use it for...Rooftop so they can't see
Your world tilted, your vision narrowing. No… no! You could feel your chest tightening, the walls closing in. You were so close. You were this close to seeing him, to feeling something again, but now it was slipping through your fingers.
Geo, that fucking prick! Your heart raced with frustration, your mind spinning. Why did he have to ruin everything?
You bit your lip hard enough to taste blood, the urge to scream rising inside you. It wasn’t fair. You couldn’t even reach Sol now, because that damn fool had gotten in the way. You paced in front of the blocked vent, your mind unraveling. You tried to breathe, tried to think of something—anything—but all that came to mind was the surge of anger that made your head spin.
You turned away abruptly, fist clenched tightly at your side, barely holding back the raw frustration that threatened to burst out of you. "Fucking bitch," you muttered under your breath. You didn’t even realize the words had escaped until they echoed through the air.
You cursed under your breath again, letting the anger rage inside you like a storm, unable to quell it. All that rage, all that tension was boiling over, and you couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
You stood there, Your fingers trembled as you tried to think of another way. The stairs, you thought. The staircase that led to the rooftop—it was a long shot, but maybe you could get up there without anyone noticing.
You glanced around, hoping no one was watching. The stairway to the other side of the rooftop was a bit more hidden, so if you were careful, maybe—just maybe—you could sneak your way up without anyone spotting you. Your mind raced, trying to calculate the risks. There was a chance they’d notice you going up, but you didn’t care. You had to see him today. It wasn’t a choice anymore—it was an obsession, a need, a desperate craving.
You made your way toward the stairwell, a strange mix of hope and anxiety flooding your chest. Just be quiet, don’t get spotted… you repeated to yourself like a mantra.
But the moment you stepped into the stairwell, you felt something shift inside of you. What if they catch you? What if they find out? The thought of someone seeing you make your way to the rooftop, of someone witnessing you sneak away like this, made your stomach churn. The fear crawled up your spine, but you couldn’t stop now. You had to do this for yourself.
You tried to silence the little voice that whispered doubts in your ear. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about being caught.
But the stairs—the stairs were the wrong ones. You turned the corner too fast, your heart pounding louder with every step. You’d entered the wrong pair of stairs, a different exit leading to an entirely different side of the building. A side where the students could see you—where he could see you. The panic rose in your throat. No, no, no… You cursed under your breath.
The walls felt like they were closing in around you. Your hands gripped the railing tightly, trying to steady yourself as your chest tightened with dread. It’s too much. It’s too risky. You’ll be caught.
The weight of it all hit you then, the tears pricking at the back of your eyes. Sol… you can’t even see him anymore. You’re losing everything.
A soft sob escaped your lips, quickly smothered by the desperate need to control yourself. You wiped your eyes, but they wouldn’t stop, your tears betraying you. Why was it so hard? Why did everything feel like it was slipping through your fingers?
You felt small, insignificant, lost in a world that was spinning too fast. Why did it have to be so hard? Why couldn’t you just have a simple moment with him? To see his face, to be near him, to exist in his world for just a little while.
Your breath hitched again, sobbing softly to yourself, trying to stifle the noise. You hated how weak you felt, how exposed you were. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You weren’t supposed to be crying over something so ridiculous, over something you couldn’t control. But in that moment, you didn’t care. You just wanted to see him.
You needed him.
Why couldn’t you just be normal? you thought bitterly, wiping your nose as you swallowed the lump in your throat. Why did it have to be so complicated? Every day felt like a fight—a fight against yourself, against your own cravings, against everything pulling you toward him.
The sobs were quiet, but they felt so loud in the silence of the stairwell. You felt pathetic—helpless, even. But there was no turning back now. You had to get to the roof. You had to see him.
You blinked hard, forcing your tears to stop. It was time to take action. Be sneaky, be careful. You can do this.
You wiped your face, sucked in a breath, and kept climbing the stairs, hoping that just one more turn would lead you to him.
You couldn’t stop the tears from falling as you reached the rooftop, your breath shaky and uneven. The cool breeze barely brushed your face, but the overwhelming sense of sadness flooded your chest, crushing it under its weight.
Sol… Sol… where are you? Your heart hammered painfully in your chest as you looked around, searching desperately. But the rooftop was empty. No sign of him. Not a shadow, not a glimpse.
You felt a sob tear through your chest, the tears flowing freely as your eyes glazed over with an almost feverish kind of longing. Why isn't he here? you thought with a sort of irrational desperation. But deep down, you knew. It wasn’t about finding him here on the rooftop. It was about needing him so badly that it felt like your insides were turning to ash.
Your vision blurred with the endless cascade of tears, and your head dropped, defeated. A few soft sobs escaped you, echoing in the emptiness. Why did it hurt so much? You didn’t care that the tears were endless, that the ache in your heart was growing. It felt both agonizing and strangely satisfying.
Your eyes were wide, lovesick and sad, the desperation leaking out of every pore. You couldn’t stop the thoughts from spinning. I need him… I need him so badly… It hurt, but the hurt was like some sick form of comfort. Every pang of longing, every tear that slipped from your eyes only added to the twisted ache that thrummed in your chest.
You wiped your face, but it didn’t matter. The tears kept coming, flowing out like some uncontrollable river.
Sol… you whispered softly to yourself, your voice trembling.
You felt so small, so lost in this need for him, yet at the same time, you felt alive. Alive in a way that only came with this kind of madness. This kind of longing.
And it felt so good.
A high, sick laugh that made your stomach churn. You couldn’t even believe it yourself, but there it was—uncontrollable and desperate.
"Ha…ha…haha…" you whispered to yourself, almost crazed with it, your tears mixing with your laughter in a strange, disorienting way. It wasn’t normal. It wasn’t healthy. But it felt right. It felt like it made sense in some deranged, twisted way.
And still, you looked around, trying to get a glimpse, even just a hint of him. But there was nothing. The emptiness was deafening.
.
You felt a sob tear through your chest, the tears flowing freely as your eyes glazed over with an almost feverish kind of longing. Why isn't he here? you thought with a sort of irrational desperation. But deep down, you knew. It wasn’t about finding him here on the rooftop. It was about needing him so badly that it felt like your insides were turning to ash.
Your vision blurred with the endless cascade of tears, and your head dropped, defeated. A few soft sobs escaped you, echoing in the emptiness. Why did it hurt so much? You didn’t care that the tears were endless, that the ache in your heart was growing. It felt both agonizing and strangely satisfying.
Your eyes were wide, lovesick and sad, the desperation leaking out of every pore. You couldn’t stop the thoughts from spinning. I need him… I need him so badly… It hurt, but the hurt was like some sick form of comfort. Every pang of longing, every tear that slipped from your eyes only added to the twisted ache that thrummed in your chest.
You wiped your face, but it didn’t matter. The tears kept coming, flowing out like some uncontrollable river.
Sol… you whispered softly to yourself, your voice trembling.
You felt so small, so lost in this need for him, yet at the same time, you felt alive. Alive in a way that only came with this kind of madness. This kind of longing.
And it felt so good.
The rooftop’s chill stung your tear-soaked cheeks, and you were ready to leave with a heavy heart when an unfamiliar voice caught your attention. It wasn’t Sol’s—no, you’d know his voice anywhere—but someone else entirely. You walked fo the sound of the voice cautiously, you spotted Hyugo.
He stood a few steps away, holding a phone to his ear, speaking in a language you couldn’t quite identify. His tone was firm, measured, but whatever he was saying wasn’t your concern. You were only focused on how this wasn’t Sol.
Still, you watched for a moment longer, curiosity briefly flickering through your sadness. You took a step back, intending to leave unnoticed. But just as you turned, a hand clamped down on your shoulder, freezing you in place. Your heart jumped to your throat as you felt his breath near your neck and something cold—too cold—pressed against your skin.
A knife.
"Who are you? Speak, unless you want to get yourself into big trouble," Hyugo said lowly, his voice sharp and unforgiving.
"I’m—uh, Y/n L/n of class 4-B! Please don’t kill me!" you stammered, panic slipping through every word. You couldn’t help but hope—no, pray—that he’d recognize your name as someone Sol would vouch for, even if it was just in your own delusional mind.
The grip on your shoulder slackened slightly. Relief bloomed in your chest, though it was short-lived as Hyugo shifted, striking a pose that reminded you of Sherlock Holmes—a pose you knew he adored. You’d overheard him ranting about it to Sol once, and that memory made you laugh internally. Sol’s pained expression had been adorable.
But now wasn’t the time for that. You were trapped here, and Hyugo seemed more amused than threatening at this point. His eyes narrowed as he muttered, “Y/n L/n… Why does that sound familiar? Class 4-B too…”
You rolled your eyes, muttering under your breath, “Probably because you won’t stop teasing Sol about me.”
Foolishly, you threw a punch in frustration, aiming for his smug face. Hyugo caught your fist with ease, still holding that ridiculous Sherlock pose. The corner of his lips twitched in amusement as he tightened his grip on your hand, making you wince.
"Sol, save me from this bitch," your thoughts screamed as you glared at Hyugo, who seemed all too entertained by your antics.
Hyugo clapped his hands together in mock prayer, bowing with theatrical flourish. “I remember now! What impeccable timing, Y/n!” he said, his voice dripping with faux gratitude.
You stared blankly. What was he doing?
“I need your help,” he continued, straightening up dramatically. “You see, I have a familial emergency and can’t attend my next class. I promised my partner I’d be there, though, and since you’re from the same class… could you take over for me?”
You blinked, incredulous. “What kind of person are you? You just threatened me with a knife, and now you’re asking for favors? What are you, some yakuza kid?”
Hyugo’s smug smile faltered for a moment before his eyes widened in realization. “Oh,” he muttered, fixing his posture. Then, as if nothing happened, he threw you a wink and a thumbs up. “The name’s Hyugo Sugimoto! From class 4-A!” he declared proudly. “But I take mixed classes with Mister Allan to catch up on some, uh… subjects I missed last year.”
You folded your arms, unimpressed. His attempt at charm wasn’t working, especially when he pulled out his knife again, dangling it casually. “It’s for self-defense,” he explained, launching into an unnecessary monologue. You stopped listening entirely, your mind already halfway to its breaking point.
But then, something in his tone shifted. The goofy grin fell from his face, replaced by a much more serious expression.
“Do you have friends, Y/n?”
You recoiled slightly, the question catching you off guard. “Yes, I do,” you shot back defensively.
Hyugo tilted his head. “Yeah, but don’t you ever feel like… you’re doing too much for them?”
The words struck a chord, silencing you. Was he talking about Sol? Your chest tightened, but you refused to let it show.
“He’s not the best guy out there,” Hyugo said, and you winced. You knew Sol wasn’t perfect. His methods were unconventional, his actions borderline obsessive—but that was fine. You loved him. You understood him. Your relationship thrived on the kind of chaos no one else could grasp.
“But you…” Hyugo continued, his gaze unwavering. “Maybe you’ll be the one who understands him.”
Your breath hitched. “I do,” you murmured, so quietly you weren’t sure he even heard.
You smiled faintly, a flicker of something almost kind crossing his face. “I’m sure Solivan Brugmansia appreciates what you do.”
The mention of Sol’s full name sent your heart racing. You froze, staring at Hyugo, trying to process the weight of his words.
Hyugo clapped his hands suddenly, breaking the tension. “So please, be his partner in Art Appreciation!” he pleaded, his dramatic energy returning full force. “He needs someone who gets him! He needs someone like you!"
Your mind spiraled. Was the next class Sol’s? Could it really be? Your lips parted in shock, but before you could speak, Hyugo’s expression darkened. “Wait,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “Did you just say his name?”
You blinked, regaining some composure. “What? No. You misheard me,” you said, feigning calmness. Manipulation came naturally to you, and you knew how to keep your face unreadable. “I never opened my mouth."
It was weird.
Hyugo dropped to his knees in a dramatic, pleading pose, resembling a pitiful clown more than the dangerous man who had just threatened you moments ago. His serious tone dissolved into a mess of blubbering theatrics.
“Please! I’m begging you! Be his partner!” he wailed, hands clasped as if in prayer.
“Alright, alright! I’ll do it! Just get the hell up already!” you snapped, exasperated.
Hyugo’s eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. “You mean it? Thank you, Y/n! I knew you were the right person for this!” He shot up, nearly knocking you over in his enthusiasm.
“His name is Sol! Solivan Brugmansia! Don’t worry, you won’t miss him!” he said brightly, grinning ear to ear.
Your heart stopped. Sol. It was Sol. A jolt of electricity shot through you like the world had just revealed a cosmic secret. This was how you were going to meet him for the first time? Your head spun, and you couldn’t decide if you wanted to scream, laugh, or cry.
Without waiting for a reaction, Hyugo gave you a firm pat on the shoulder, his demeanor softening just enough to catch you off guard. “Crying doesn’t suit people like you, Y/n,” he said, his voice oddly sincere. Then, just as suddenly, he turned on his heel and sprinted off, leaving you stunned in the middle of the rooftop.
Your thoughts swirled, tangled in emotions you couldn’t even name.
You felt the tears still clinging to your cheeks, but instead of sadness, an uncontrollable smile spread across your face. The weight of earlier despair evaporated as Hyugo's words echoed in your mind. Solivan Brugmansia… you’ll be his partner…
Your heart leaped as you imagined him, the way his name rolled off your tongue like a song written just for you. “Ahhh… Sol!” you squealed softly, bouncing in place like an overjoyed child. You hugged yourself, spinning in a circle with daydreams overtaking reality.
This was better than any rooftop sighting—this was fate pulling the strings of your love story! Your knees wobbled as you imagined what it would be like sitting beside him, sharing notes, the way his hand might brush yours while pointing at something in a textbook. Your daydreams spiraled into a symphony of possibilities, each one sweeter than the last.
You clutched your chest dramatically, the hopeless romantic in you fully awakened. “He’s perfect,” you murmured, giggling as your face burned with a lovesick blush. You jumped again, unable to stop yourself from squealing, “I love him!”
Lost in your swirling thoughts, you didn’t even notice the bell ringing in the distance.
There's still. Time. I'll head to Library...For.. Maybe assignment.
You stepped into the library, the comforting mix of coffee and aged books wrapping around you like a soft blanket. Normally, this was your safe haven—a place to sketch and dream without interruption. Your perfect little corner, tucked away from prying eyes, was waiting.
But today… everything shattered the moment you saw him.
Your heart came to a screeching halt, and your lungs forgot how to breathe. There, sitting at one of the tables, completely absorbed in his book, was him. Solivan Brugmansia.
Your legs locked in place, and every gear in your brain shifted into overdrive. You couldn’t move, couldn’t think—just stare. His long fingers lightly turned the page, the soft motion oddly captivating. His sharp jawline framed his face, leading up to cheekbones so defined they looked like they were carved from marble. His dark, slightly wavy hair fell messily over his forehead, catching the faint sunlight streaming through the window.
His lashes were long, casting delicate shadows over his cheeks as his eyes—those intense, unique hues you couldn't forget—traveled across the words in his book. The air around him felt magnetic, an invisible force pulling you closer, drowning you in admiration. His lips moved faintly as if he were silently mouthing the words, and you almost melted on the spot.
It hit you all over again. This is him. This is Sol.
You felt like a mess—your clothes felt wrong, your hair felt wrong, you felt wrong. Why now?! Why does he have to look like an angel when I look like this? You were so close to running out, but your feet stayed planted, refusing to move.
You drank in every detail, heart hammering like a lovesick fool. The way his shoulders leaned slightly forward as he read, his posture casual but refined. The faint scuff on the corner of his book as if he had been reading it everywhere. Even the small crease in his brow hinted at his concentration.
Your fingers itched for your sketchbook. You wanted to draw him again, every line and curve, as if your pencil could capture even a fraction of what made him so perfect. But then your gaze shifted—there were other students around, eyes occasionally darting toward him. Of course, you thought bitterly. How could they not?
The idea of pulling out your sketchbook felt risky, almost too obvious. And yet the urge to immortalize this moment, this sight of him, was clawing at your chest.
You swallowed hard, stepping back toward the corner, hoping he wouldn’t notice your frantic gaze. But even as you moved, your eyes refused to leave him. So close, yet so far... you thought, feeling every bit the love-drunk, hopeless fool you were.
Oh, how my heart shivers, lovesick and wild, Caught in your gaze, like a star-struck child. Your eyes, deep constellations, chart the skies, Pulling me closer with each soft sunrise. Your hair, dark rivers where the moonlight dips, Your name a melody upon my lips. I see you in whispers, in shadows, in dreams, A presence that wraps me in love’s silent screams.
You took a steadying breath, willing yourself to act composed, to not let your trembling hands or lovesick expression give you away. Solivan Brugmansia—your Sol—was sitting in your seat. That sacred corner, your little world, now graced by his presence. The thought made your pulse race, equal parts thrill and terror.
You couldn’t help it; your eyes roamed over him, absorbing every detail like a parched soul drinking in the rain. His hair caught the faint library light, the strands gleaming like silk. His posture was casual but poised, one hand flipping through a book while the other rested lazily on the table—oh, that hand, the one you’d heard was hurt recently. He punched a guy for you.
You bit your lip, an involuntary whimper catching in your throat at the thought of his pain.
He hadn’t noticed you at first, but your dazed stare must have drawn him in. Slowly, his gaze lifted, those striking heterochromatic eyes locking onto yours. The air felt electric, your heart doing somersaults in your chest.
“...?” His expression was unreadable, but the subtle furrow of his brows suggested mild curiosity—or was that amusement? You couldn’t tell. Either way, it made your knees weak.
“You’re, um... in my seat,” you managed, the words stumbling over each other like a desperate escape. “Can I have it back, Mr. Solivan Brugmansia...? Also, I, uh, heard about your hand. Are you okay? I hope you’re not overdoing it. And, uh, your partner—”
You froze mid-ramble as his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. He looked surprised for a brief second—had you actually caught him off guard? But just as quickly, his expression smoothed into that same cold, enigmatic mask. It was like looking at a wall of ice with flames just barely flickering underneath.
“You... know my name?” he asked, his voice a soft drawl, laced with something you couldn’t quite place. Control, maybe? Suspicion? Whatever it was, it sent a shiver down your spine.
You exhaled, trying to suppress the ridiculous giddiness that threatened to bubble over. Stay cool, stay cool, you reminded yourself, even as your heartbeat rivaled a drumline.
“I know your name because Hyugo told me. He said you needed a partner in art class,” you began, keeping your tone casual, though you were certain your cheeks were giving you away. “And one time, when I went to the nurse, she mentioned feeling bad about a student named Solivan who’d been injured. That’s you, isn’t it?”
His eyes widened for the briefest moment, and then he averted them, his fingers tightening slightly on the edge of his book. Was that... a blush? You almost squealed internally, but you swallowed it down like a pro. He didn’t respond, clearly not used to being read so easily.
You leaned in slightly, your voice dropping to something soft and steady. “I was worried when she said that,” you admitted. “But hey, a student is a student. Don’t overthink it. Now... can I please have my seat back?”
For a second, you thought he might actually listen. His eyes flicked to yours, a rare vulnerability peeking through before it was swallowed up by his usual mask. But instead of moving, he arched an eyebrow, glanced under the desk, and then back at you.
“I don’t see your name on it,” he said flatly, his expression neutral as he turned back to his book like you weren’t standing there, brimming with barely-contained exasperation.
You blinked. Oh, hell no.
Your jaw clenched, and a vein in your forehead might’ve popped. What was this guy’s deal?! Soulmate or not, your seat was sacred. You puffed your cheeks in frustration, unintentionally looking like the most adorably indignant person in the room. Not that Sol noticed—he was already back to reading.
Unbelievable, you thought, your inner monologue screaming .
"So cute..." It was silent but you heard it/\.
Your whole system short-circuited. Did you just hear that? Did he really say that? If it were possible to combust on the spot, you'd already be a pile of ashes.
HE CALLED YOU CUTE?!!?
Your brain spiraled into chaos. Your inner monologue devolved into nothing but incomprehensible shrieks: "IDIOEYDOWEOHCOWEODHEHUFEWFE8FR80EG8YE!!!!" Words were officially out of service, leaving you stranded in a whirlpool of overwhelming emotions.
He was blushing too, barely visible but undeniably there. His cheeks held a faint dusting of pink, and his lips curled into a barely-there smile—just enough to devastate your heart completely. How could someone be so effortlessly adorable and infuriating at the same time? Someone save you from this man, please!
But wait—did he notice your cheeks puffing up in anger? Was that why he smiled? No, no, no. If being an angry little cutie made him smile, then you’d be doomed to accidentally fuel his amusement for eternity. Yet the thought of making him smile set off a whole new wave of screaming in your head. Wahhh, he's so cute! Why does he have to be like this?
You couldn’t decide if you were furious or lovesick. One thing was certain—you were absolutely doomed.
Sol tilted his head, a sly smirk playing at his lips. "Tell you what," he drawled, looking entirely too smug for his own good, "you get me a cup of coffee, and I'll give you your seat back."
You froze. Was he serious? Coffee? For a seat? You locked eyes with him, giving him your best unimpressed glare. So what?!?! You don’t just barter seating arrangements with caffeine!
But before you could even voice your protest, your brain betrayed you.
He’ll drink it... That means he’ll touch the cup... Oh no, oh no, OH NO.
Your inner monologue kicked into overdrive, spiraling faster than you could keep up. "AN EMPTY CUP HE TOUCHES WILL BE MY SHRINE!!! I’LL FRAME IT. PUT IT IN A GLASS CASE. AHHHH!!!" You were practically vibrating with joy.
And then it hit you. Wait. Wait. I know his favorite drink. Latte. You knew it because you may or may not have totally-not-suspiciously stalked him during lunch breaks, one time even spying on him while he hung out on the rooftop. It’s fine. It’s research. You’re not weird at all.
Your face lit up with an almost chipmunk-like grin, your mood swinging like a pendulum.
It’s okay. You’re buying him his favorite coffee. Totally normal. Not because you’re secretly losing your mind over his cute smirk or planning to preserve the cup for eternity or anything. Yep. Totally normal.
Sol's silence was maddening, and you were done with his smug attitude. Crossing your arms, you let out a huff, glaring down at him as he coolly flipped another page in his book, pretending you weren’t there.
"Do I look like a servant to you!? Just move already!" you snapped, trying to keep your frustration in check. He barely glanced at you, letting out a tired sigh before returning to his novel.
Oh, no. That was not the reaction you wanted. You wanted him to look at you—to really see you.
Fine. Two could play this game.
Without a second thought, you stomped around to his side, his gaze flickering up just slightly to follow your movements. He was clearly unimpressed. That was fine; you had something planned. Gripping the back of the chair he was sitting on, you gave it a firm pull, causing him to wobble precariously.
“Whoa, what the hell—” His voice cut off as you smirked, satisfied with his startled reaction.
Before he could reprimand you for your actions, you cut him off, effectively shocking him into silence. By settling yourself on top of his lap.
He froze instantly, his book forgotten, his breath catching in his throat. He swore to whatever god looking down on him right now to take him. His ears were burning red, his entire body tensed under you, and yet… he didn’t move to push you off.
You, on the other hand, acted as if nothing was amiss, casually pulling your bag onto the desk as if this was just another day. But inside, your thoughts were spiraling out of control. Your love-struck gaze lingered on him as you rested comfortably, your heart pounding in time with the storm of emotions threatening to spill out.
What are you, Solivan...? you wanted to ask, your fingers itching to reach out and touch him. Why does everything feel so good when you’re near me? Is this how you feel when I’m around? Why are you making me feel like this?
You bit back a grin, feigning indifference even as your cheeks warmed. Sitting on him like this… felt normal, almost natural. You weren’t even processing the fact that you were quite literally perched on the lap of the boy you’d been stalking—er, admiring—for weeks now.
Sol, on the other hand, looked like he was about to combust. His hands hovered awkwardly at his sides, unsure where to go. His mind raced with a mix of flustered panic and something darker—something possessive. His beloved was teasing him, and every ounce of self-control he had was being tested.
For now, he stayed silent, his face flushed and his heart hammering so loudly that he was sure you could hear it. But the way your smug expression softened with the barest hint of affection made his resolve waver.
You had no idea what you were doing to him.
Sol’s heartbeat quickened, a low curse escaping his lips as he tried—and failed—to compose himself. Meanwhile, you continued your work as if nothing had happened, utterly unfazed by the situation. Or at least, that’s what you wanted him to believe.
Oh, sweet, naive you—you couldn’t help yourself. With a small tilt of your head, you gave him a quick glance, the corners of your lips curving into a subtle, teasing smile.
It was driving him insane.
Inside, though, you were a chaotic mess. YOUR ASS IS ON HIS LAP?! HOLY SHET! You could barely hold back the urge to laugh or scream—or maybe both. What’s worse, you noticed out of the corner of your eye that a few students were starting to notice. Some rolled their eyes at the scene, while others moved away entirely. Sol must look like a total pervert with his flushed face and the way he seemed frozen in place.
His cheeks burned an even deeper red. The sheer embarrassment almost had him wishing for the ground to swallow him whole. But despite it all, his gaze lingered on you, his chest tightening at how adorably unbothered you looked, simply focusing on your work. He couldn’t see the lovestruck expression on your face, though—thank god. You were practically drooling as you scribbled away, overwhelmed by the proximity and the faint scent of his cologne.
Sol inhaled sharply, forcing himself to calm down. It was no use fighting it. It’s my lucky day, he thought with a bitter sweetness. My pumpkin— No, no, that sounded weird. My beloved—better—is sitting on me. This is fine.
Gathering what was left of his composure, he hesitated before placing his arm next to yours on the desk, trying to act like this was completely normal. He stared down at the pages of his book, though none of the words made sense anymore. You had completely fried his brain.
You, meanwhile, decided to make yourself more comfortable. A subtle shift in your seat elicited a low groan from him, one that sent a shiver up your spine. It was clear you were doing this on purpose, and the realization made his jaw clench. You bit your lip to suppress a grin, your thoughts wandering to the way his lips looked. Soft, kissable, and so, so tempting.
Your heart thudded at the thought.
A minute passed, the tension slowly dissipating, but your heart was still racing. You could almost taste the calm, but it wasn't the peaceful kind. Not when Sol was so close.
He muttered something under his breath, and you perked up, curious. “Seldom we find,” he quoted. You tilted your head, watching him closely. Was he really interested? His voice sounded serious, focused.
You gave him space to read the rest of the stanza, allowing the silence to linger, but inside, you were buzzing.
"Half an idea in the Profoundest sonnet. Through all the flimsy things we see at once..."
You couldn’t help but lean in a little closer, your eyes flicking to him as he was so absorbed in his book. Could you feed him this poem, like feeding him words? No. You were supposed to focus, act normal. But it didn’t matter because he was so... charming. And it wasn’t just the poem—it was him. The way his voice softened when he read, the intensity in his eyes. God, you wanted to be the one to impress him.
His eyes didn’t stray from the page as he continued. “As easily as through as Naples bonnet—An Enigma by Edgar Allan Poe, huh? Not a bad choice."
A small smile tugged at your lips. Does he like poems too, or is it just him?
You could practically feel his presence wrapping around you, the air thickening as you tried to focus on the text. But the more you looked at him, the more the words blurred. You felt drawn to him, closer and closer...
"Do you know this poem has a puzzle?" he asked suddenly, pulling you from your thoughts.
"What...?" You blinked, unsure at first.
He smiled—God, that smile—and pointed at the first line, then the second. "Yes, a puzzle. This is one of the few works of his that I find quite charming..."
Charming? He's the one who's charming, you thought as you looked at him. You could barely keep your thoughts in check, wanting to record everything about him. This was... this was it. He was it.
You stared at the poem again, pretending to think. The truth was, you were just trying to keep yourself from throwing yourself into him completely. You needed a reason to stay calm. But his finger was still so close, his breath just slightly grazing your ear as he leaned in to guide you.
“Is it Sarah Anna Lewis?” you whispered, not wanting to say the wrong answer.
The shock on his face was enough to send a thrill down your spine, but he recovered quickly, sighing in defeat. “You got it right,” he whispered back, the words almost sinking into your skin.
Your heart fluttered wildly, as if you'd just won a game... his game.
You were... so happy. You couldn't hold back the soft giggle that bubbled up, your pride shining through. Your smile grew, unable to hide how pleased you were.
"I deserve another pat!" you exclaimed, pride spilling from you. "I got it right, yeah?"
Sol chuckled, but it was a hesitant sound—something almost shy. His hand brushed against your head again, giving you another gentle pat. And fuck, you couldn't help but close your eyes and savor the moment. You were addicted to the way he touched you. You’d never get enough.
"Just happy to see someone likes his poems, or at least deciphers them," he murmured.
I like you, you wanted to say. I like you so much...
But you couldn’t. Instead, your body betrayed you. As you leaned forward in excitement, you accidentally pressed your front against his chest, causing him to freeze.
Shit.
Before you could even process it, his hand shot out to grab your waist, holding you in place. Your heart skipped a beat as the room felt too small, as if everything around you was fading except for the pressure of your bodies being too close. You didn’t even care that it looked like two lovers in a moment.
Two lovers... just like in the novels.
You looked up, ready to joke about the situation, but his relaxed posture had vanished. Sol was tense, his face flushed a shade of red you had never seen before. He was literally trembling now, his eyes wide as dinner plates. His breath quickened, and before you knew it, he was leaning forward and gently—gently—placing you back down on the table.
"I’m sorry! I forgot I was sitting on you!" You scrambled to get off him, your hands shaky from the sudden shift in the situation.
But the truth was—you loved it.
You giggled, a deep, warm feeling spreading in your chest as you realized how easy it was to fluster him. But as soon as your feet hit the ground, you saw it—Sol was already up, clutching his book like it was his lifeline.
Without a word, he hurried to the exit, his pace like that of a speed walker, trying to escape from what you both just created.
And you, standing there with a blush on your face and your heart still racing, knew one thing for sure:
You trudged down the hall, your footsteps slow and reluctant. Sol was just ahead, but there was a slight distraction—Crowe. Damn it, you thought. You didn’t need this right now. Sol was slipping away, and you needed to be with him.
But then, you saw Brittney—her uniform a disaster. It was a mess of ketchup, mustard, and oil, a perfect blend of clumsy chaos. Jess was trying to help, but nothing seemed to work. What did happen? You were so relieved you hadn’t been involved in that mess. The last thing you wanted was to be caught up in that.
"Y/n! I was about to check up on you, how are you feeling?" Crowe’s voice cut through your thoughts, and you tried to keep your frustration in check.
"Good, better..." you muttered, though your mind was still on Sol. You couldn’t care less about the unfolding drama; it sounded ridiculous, but you had to admit—it was probably fun. Geo wasn’t around, thank God.
Then there was Brittney’s confused face, looking at you as you handed her the key to your locker.
“I have some fresh button-down shirts. You can wear one of them—or just keep it. I didn’t even get them properly, but I got both male and female sizes... You can have the female one. Just give the key to Crowe. I’m heading somewhere.”
She looked at you quizzically, but you didn’t have the patience. “Move, Ichabod...” You practically hissed the words, a tone of warning in your voice. You didn’t have time to explain further.
Crowe seemed taken aback, his expression faltering. “Where...?”
You didn’t answer directly. You just felt this desperate need to be elsewhere, away from everything, toward Sol.
And then you were gone.
Crowe stood there, confused, staring after you as you ran. “What am I doing wrong...?” he murmured to himself, probably wondering why you were so distant.
You didn’t care about that, though. Sol was what mattered.
And there he was, rushing toward the restroom. Your heart skipped a beat—Oh no. You couldn’t follow him there. That restroom? It was infamous. You'd heard the rumors. It wasn’t the place to go if you wanted to avoid strange giggling. But the pull to be close to him was strong, almost overwhelming.
You had no choice but to head to your next class. You could still feel the electricity in the air as you walked, a tight knot in your chest. You took your usual seat and pulled out your journal, your fingers grazing the pages. But then—Stop. You couldn’t focus. You couldn’t draw. You wanted to, but everything felt... alive in a different way.
You stepped into the classroom once again, your eyes scanning the room. There, at the back, was the tuft of black hair with striking green highlights—Solivan Brugmansia. It was him. But... was he always there? How had you missed him before? You’d never noticed his presence in the past. Was it always this obvious? Had you really been so blind to his existence?
The realization hit you like a wave. You couldn't believe you'd overlooked him all this time. Solivan... Sol... He was always there, sitting at the back, focused on his own world. You had never seen him, and yet now, it felt like you were noticing everything about him. How had you been so unaware?
Your heart raced. Thank gods you were here now. You could hardly keep your eyes off him. You moved to the seat directly in front of him, pulling the chair close and sitting down. Your gaze was fixed on him. There was a grace to the way he drew, a certain elegance in the movement of his hand. His pencil glided across the page effortlessly, each stroke precise, as if it was second nature. You couldn’t help but lean closer, your curiosity getting the better of you.
You had to know—what was he drawing? You craned your neck just enough to catch a glimpse of the paper.
you leaned over to get a closer look at his drawing, you suddenly caught Sol’s attention. His pencil froze mid-motion, and his wide, startled eyes snapped up to meet yours. His face turned an instant shade of red, and before you could even react, he quickly slammed the book shut with a soft thud. He glanced away, clearly flustered, his cheeks burning from the unexpected attention.
You couldn’t help but smile at his reaction, but you quickly tried to smooth over the awkwardness. “I’m sorry, it’s me from the library... I hope we can get along,” you said, your voice softer than usual, almost a little nervous. The words tumbled out before you could stop them, and you immediately regretted not sounding more casual about it.
He kept his gaze down, still blushing furiously, and didn’t say anything for a moment. He just turned away slightly, his fingers gripping his book tighter as if trying to hide behind it. You could almost feel the heat radiating from his face.
Not wanting to make it more awkward, you hurried back to your seat, but you could feel his eyes following you. As you settled in, you risked a glance at him, only to find that he was already staring at you. Both of you yelped in surprise, quickly turning your heads in the opposite direction, your faces burning in sync. The air between you was thick with unspoken tension, neither of you daring to meet the other’s gaze for more than a split second. You could feel the butterflies in your stomach and the heat of embarrassment prickling your skin.
This... was going to be interesting.
This is rushed im sorrry! Its a small fic so! dw ill update it!
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northopalshore · 2 days ago
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♀ Some asks I get are clearly fishing for a "specific" answer. Then get mad when I give them different (but apply better with their placements) answers than what they probably had in their head ರ⁠_⁠ರ like????? It's like they're expecting some sort of scenario. Usually this concerns their future spouse & whether they're famous or not (like they've got specific people in mind). This ain't blowjob county miss, walk straight outta here.
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I don't know if you know this, but as I've mentioned a billion times before astrology won't spell out the name of your beloved. Ya gatta hold your horses. Whether someone is "yours" or not depends on whether they'll actually be in your lives or not.
No matter how you see it, even if it's truly meant to be, obsessing over it is just not healthy. It's really.. an ugly look ngl. Like is that who you are in this so called relationship??? Ew.
How do you guarantee something? If it actually happens.
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Like my synastry is great w MJ, but am I gonna be with him? HELL NO. He dead son. Ain't nothing there but speculation.
I'm sorry, but I'm not your personal yes-(wo)man. Shoooo shoo! I'm not entertaining those types of shallow mindedness anymore.
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I do believe in fate, but you have to understand that predicting something can be very confusing at the hands of people who are obsessed. Mainly because of tunnel vision. I feel like one of the reasons astrology is a banned practice in most religions is because of the great conflict & confusion it may bring. And honestly looking at modern mainstream astrology? No shit, it happens all the time.
I know it's sort of counter intuitive as an "astrologer" on Tumblr saying this; but let it go. What's yours is yours & what's not is not.
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That's just it. It's the art of not giving a fuck.
You can predict how & when, and their traits, sure no problem! Just don't attach these traits to someone who isn't in your life yet/at all.
It's not a problem doing it when they're just a call away, because that's something tangible; you see them & they see you.
Theory is fine, but don't let it consume you. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't.
That's really all to it
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incorrectfatui · 2 days ago
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okay, more HCs. This one is only Scara, so things might get a lil dark- I'm not normal about him. anywho: Scaramouche: -autistic. I am going to say this about every Harbinger, bc it's the truth. -most traumatized mfer in all of Teyvat. Seriously. someone give this guy a licensed therapist. -as Kabukimono, he's tried to eat several non edible items. This one is inspired by that one researcher who made up a story about him eating a humans arm. The image of little Scara munching on various dangerous items is so cute -related to the above: he still does it sometimes, to fuck with people. Dottore thinks its great. Pierro had to stop him from getting Kuni to eat a delusion. -Eyes (& markings) always glow at least slightly, even if he's not using his powers. Its not really noticeable in the day, but at night you can see it pretty well -hates Pantalone. Not bc he's jealous of him hanging out with Dottore or something (if anything, Pantalone gets jealous), but just because he is an ass. -Went to the Abyss again for a long time, just after Arlecchino became a Harbinger, and kind of forgot that Crucy was replaced. Came back and was like "who the FUCK- oh right". Why? because I think its funny -In general, has a better relationship with most of the female Harbingers than the male ones. -a little self indulgent, but I like to think that he was able to float a lil with electro as well. We see Raiden and Ei do it, and I think it'd be cute if he was able to as well, if to a lesser degree. -has used almost every element at some point, testing delusions with Dotty. Mostly bc I can't really imagine all those researchers just throwing 4 extra elements at shouki no kami and being like "figure it out" -speaking of delusions: I think he didn't use one. His electro is inert and I dont think he used another element. I see people headcanoning his delusion as Anemo, and I get it, but I don't like it all that much -SPEAKING of his electro being inert to his body- I refuse to believe he lost electro completely. The whole "oh he used up his divinity" is lazy. He can still connect to Irminsul, which he only learned while ascending, but he cant use electro anymore, something that he's had since birth? Bullshit. I understand him not using it, but I think it'd be more impactful if that was a voluntary choice. I'd really like to see him recover it over the course of the story -I think Youkai like him. Obviously this excludes Yae Miko, but I think as Kabukimono it wouldn't be strange to see him being followed by some Tanuki or the lesser Kitsune. I would really like to see him interact with the Youkai Children from that one Inazuma event, I think it'd be really cute. -I like seeing people write about him and Kujou Sara, both romantic, platonic and as enemies. The two of them are very similar in some aspects, and then radically different in others. I think it'd be really interesting to see Kujou Sara confronted with her own trauma being reflected onto Ei. I guess this is mostly because I just really like Sara and I want my favs to interact xD -more of a theory, but I think Pierro and Dottore, (will) remember him. He has a lot of foreshadowing in his voiceline about Pierro & Dotty, and other things. He's very clearly endgame/lore relevant, with his story not even being finished. -not a HC, but I wanted to mention it: I'm still stuck in Inversion of Genesis on my main account. I never played past it. I did the Fontaine and Natlan quests for friends/watched them online, but I'm still in IoG on my main, because I never fully decided on a name -last one bc character limit: I really like to imagine him interacting with Neuvilette. I think there could be a lot of interesting discussions had here- Neuvi would absolutely dissaprove of his attempt to overthrow Nahida, but at the same time I think he would, to some degree, understand his obsession with the gnosis. No, the gnosis/authority doesn't belong to Scara (or Ei, for that matter), but I think if you told Neuvi that Scara was quite literally created to hold it, he'd understand, to a degree.
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bubblegumgothglados · 3 days ago
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(on anon bc i keep my main sfw) hi i just wanted to say i recently encountered a few of your posts in the wild and it brought me to ur training guide post and holy shit FINALLY SOMEONE WHO GETS IT?? in my normie life i am both an animal trainer (dogs and cats! train your cats!! its good for them!!) and studying to be a therapist (for humans), and i genuinely detest the overall kink community's obsession with punishment. even a basic understanding of the psychology of learning should teach you that punishment is ineffective and kind of shitty.
i know so many subs who have forced themselves into a punishment-focused dynamic they hate or feel excluded from the scene entirely because they aren't down with punishment. i hate that it happens and I'm so happy to see someone else preaching the good word of actual properly implemented positive reinforcement, and showing subs that they don't have to be treated like shit to engage with kink.
like its so pervasive and thats really tragic and upsetting. I remember in the early-ish days of my relationship with one of my partners where we were first integrating kink into our relationship, there was a night where she broke down crying in my arms because she felt guilty that she didn't want to incorporate punishment into our dynamic. bc she had been given the expectation that her job as a masochist was to misbehave and be punished, rather than actual fun s/m sessions.
i hate that theres an expectation not just for subs to be punished, but for doms to want to punish them?? like ppl will treat you like you're a bad dom because you DON'T do punishments. its crazy and i wish one day for a world where no one, dom or sub, pushes themselves into a punishment dynamic that isnt fun or useful just because they feel like theyre "supposed to." and I'm so happy there are other people that share that vision and want to help our community get there.
this might be an incoherent ramble idk i just wanted you to know theres someone out here who really appreciates what you're doing. 🩷
Ohhhh my goodness anon show your face so I can kiss you!
Punishments have no place in a healthy d/s relationship
If you want to be hurt then say that, if you want to hurt someone then say that, hell if the idea of doing something to someone and them legitimately not liking it turns you on then say that too. There are people out there who mirror your desires
Arghhh this topic makes me so worked up
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nightstag · 10 hours ago
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Hii<33 may I request Mr Scarletella from homicipher with a soulmate who’s a big flirt and teases him sfw and nsfw hcs (if comfortable writing ofc)? :3 I mean.. due to the limited amount of vocabulary, it would probs be expressed more through physical actions, lmfao just imagining getting so touchy feely just to get a reaction out of that delulu tomato looking mf
hi i definitely don't mind!
with mr.scarleletta i think the language barrier is not much of an issue just because he comes across as the type of person who brute forces/exudes what he wants to get across with his uh everything alone.
i have a wide variety of scenarios coming into my mind with an mc who's more flirtatious and teasing.
i will say i'm approaching this from an understanding or viewpoint of it being the ending where you two are kind of together, etc. otherwise, it's harder in my own eyes to see him not doing all this for the sake of your name (naturally)
in my own interpretation, mr.scarletella has an almost intense fixation or obsession towards the mc that i feel you being flirtatious is almost akin to matching his freak so he'd literally be surprised by the sudden gestures or even comments yet ultimately ends up giving his signature smile because you're playing into him and by extension i feel it's what he wants.
i think the mental image of MC flirting in their natural language is actually really funny. i like it a lot and think it should be considered because scarletella will become transfixed with understanding or getting the reference. becoming further clingy and almost cutely in a way insist you tell him what it means, how he can understand those words, and then become reliant/fussy about you saying it to him. anytime you do he grins and gets affectionate with you in return. cupping your face ... giving you a squeeze, pulling you in. even kisses! i can see him giving them.
flirting is also just a general invitation for him to make his own moves. i feel like mr.scarletella likes the attention and in return will match what you do with him. you're gonna flirt? sure mr.scarletella will do so in return. all he has to do is whisper a "desire you now" and it gets the point across, right? "want you" "give you" "need now" to me he talks like this, very very rapid-fire like yet he's making demands/requests for you because you riled him up and he does not want to wait. he must have what he wants !!! and thats you. give kisses, hold him, cuddle. you must because you got him worked up.
working with a scenario where the mc touches him i'm going to talk over a few sfw / nsfw immediate scenarios.
sfw:
he: melts into the touch, moves his hands onto yours and drags them further along/up/around his body where you touch. encouragement of what you're doing while grinning and whispering "like me?" or something along the lines of it.
cuddling unironically he fws. i feel he is all about invading your space already so being so close to you that you both are physically touching is like a dream. eager and overexcited. he loves it and thrives being in your space. i think scent is a big element too. burying his face into you and staying like that.
i think hand holding being foreign to him until you two do it. he becomes transfixed with your hands. reaches for it all the time and wants you to tug him along or he'll tug you along.
he's addicted to kisses, nothing crazier beyond small little pecks but they make him ecstatic. scattering them over your face and/or him being on the end of them.
nsfw:
i believe that mr scarletella can swing either way but he's more instinctive to be the more dominant one in a dynamic yet YET...he's absolutely a sucker for foreplay. having his partner feel him up or tease him makes him vibrate [literally]. i feel he only would respond via trembling or shaking, huff of breath, and comments akin to "desire hand" , i think he'd especially love handjobs from MC ngl. he can't keep still. his hand is clinging onto you. fingers grasping your raincoat while he babbles. sings your praise in simple phrasing.
i also have a very big opinion that scarletella would actually love a lot of non-penetrative intimacy because i think he's just transfixed with your body, and vice versa. body worship right down to things like rutting into your thighs, fingering of any kind, etc. things of the like. it's not all about penetrative sex bc theres so much you can do and he wants to do it all.
now on the reverse end. an mc who gets touchy with him. scarletella reacting vocally but not like loud. its a lot of huffing or speaking under his breath. he tries not to be loud but maybe it becomes a challenge for mc to see if he can be made loud. i think scarletella would like being touched a lot. especially BY mc. please ??? please do desire him
his weak zones: his ears, touches to his sides
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mossygirl333 · 2 days ago
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Could I request for Boba Tea - body worship with Astarion with female human reader please?
AN: Coming right up! Hot and fresh <3
Bakery Order: Boba Tea - body worship
Astarion x human!wizard!reader
Tw/Cw: smut, porn w/plot, Astarions Lowkey a munch, some blunt dirty talk, mentions of weight and gaining weight, intimate, established marriage
SMUT UNDER THE CUT!!!
The room was dimly lit, candles flickering silently in the corners. Settled in front, a giant ornate hearth, the fire crackling and causing you to squint your dry eyes. Deepened shadows, tall and looming lined the walls.
The Inn was nice, clean, expensive but you had been travelling for months. Astarion told you that you needed more rest. Everyone did.
"Darling, you keep pushing yourself. Those silly little spells wont do anything when you have bags under your eyes the size and color of dead coals. Now rest in this nice place and let me pay for Utamo's sake!"
A snort of laughter left your lips as you remembered his words, settling into the bear skin rug, fur thick and soft under your hands. Halsin was...quite surprised when his room had one as well. And quite uncomfortable.
"Whats so funny my dear?" The door quietly shuts beside him, settling down a goblet of wine. His blood red eyes settling onto your form. Lithe but strong, graceful and regal he was. But those hands could snap a neck and tear a tendon quite easily.
Those fangs under those sly smirking lips could do a lot more too.
A shudder ran down your body, barely suppressed as you finally met his eyes. Curling up in your quilt a bit tighter. "Just thinking is all. About Halsin and his shock."
"Ah yes, that nature obsessed hunk." He jokingly gags, sliding in beside you. Opening up your arms, Astarions joins you under the covers. Ring gleaming in firelight. "I'd rather you just focus on me instead. The pretty one, maybe?"
"I thought the pretty one was me?" You ask, staring down at him as his cheek pressed against the curve of your breast. Nose nudging against the cleavage.
"I think we're tied." He snickers, pressing a tender kiss to your jaw. Pausing for a moment before pressing another one. "You smell good my dear."
"Me or my blood?" You raise a brow, tracing his neck with your nails, before burying them in his white locs. Thick and curled, gentle against your palm with the smell of his bar soap.
"Aren't you made up of both? But as much as I love your blood...I'm not exactly looking for that tonight." He trails his eyes down, palm gently resting on your thigh.
"I've gained weight." You curtly state. Sighing as you watch his hand sink into your thigh.
"Happy weight."
"Still weight."
"It looks good."
"I doubt you can even pick me up anymore."
He huffs, and grabs your chin. Making you look at him. Expression slightly soured and exasperated. "Shush! By Lathanders light, shush! Enough with this nonsense, I'm not going to listen to the woman I love insult herself like she's some cow. Because you aren't. You...You are beautiful. Understand me?"
You pause, sighing and locking eyes with him. Watching as the firelight flickers across his sharp features. Strong nose, round ruby eyes filled with slight hurt and thin lips pulled down into a pouty frown.
"It's just hard. Looking different than before. I'm afraid I won't be pretty to you if I change too much." You admit. The insecurity slightly bubbling up. It was true. Pants are slightly tighter now. You needed a size up in your bras and to be honest, looking at everyone else, you felt like the only one who's gained some.
"I don't care if it's 3 pounds or 300, you...you my dear are the most stunning, beautiful woman in this entire city. In the entirety of Faerun, I have never once witnessed a person who so similar reminded me of the sun. Hell, I hadn't even remembered what the sun looked like before you. Before this all. Why would I abandon the woman I'm marrying, the woman I want to have children with for something so daft as weight? Do you take me for an idiot?" He cups your jaw, forcing you to look up at him. Eyes full of sincerity and softness, hands cold but gentle.
This was what Astarion was to you. And what you were to him. The sun and the moon. A yin and yang situation that played on like prose poetry. Bright smiles and sharp tongues. Magic and madness. Lives played out like chess games by their masters but broken free. The white piece and the black piece. Now off the boards, no longer tied down by it. No longer held under cruel scheming hands.
They had each other.
And they wanted each other.
You hadn't really noticed he was kissing you until your back hit the bear skin rug. Snapping out of your daze, hands coming up to his face. Whispers between kisses sent between you, breathless and quiet, neither of you could hear each other.
But it didn't matter. You just needed to know he was there. And that was all you needed.
His knee nudges your thighs apart, his lips trailing down your neck. Pulse thumping under them. Soft and cold, undead but how his heart burned for yours.
Slightly hitching, you make room for his body. Thighs sliding up to rest on his broad shoulders, his hands pushing up your shirt. Desperate to get to the hot plump skin underneath, tongue darting out to taste it. Trailing down new stretchmarks he stops at your pants. Eyes coming up to meet yours again.
Quietly nodding, he situated you so he could toss aside your garments. Shorts and underwear dangerously close to the fireplace.
You laugh, reaching over and snagging them away. "Dummy."
"My bad, my love. Wouldn't wanna burn your knickers and start a panic, imagine that. Gale runs into a half-naked you and my face shoved in your cunt while the hotel burns down."
A shudder of arousal seeps down your core, now dewy and dripping, an opened flower full of nectar for your lover.
He sighs, lifting you up slightly, breath thick against your folds. Watching. Waiting. Before the tip of his nose nudges against your clit.
A whine leaves your lips, thighs squeezing against his temples as he groans. Mouth hot and heavy against your pussy, fingers denting into the plush fat.
"Feel so fucking beautiful wrapped around me, my love-" His tongue slips into you, licking up stripes. Collecting that tangy slick on his taste buds.
You squirm slightly but his hands keep you there. Nose buried in your clit, taking huffs of your smell. Desperate for more. "Please, darling, hold still, let me taste you."
You slowly grind yourself against his face. Riding the bridge of his nose. He chuckles, slipping his fingers in gently. Hips jerking, two digits curling and searching for that spot.
The pads of his fingers find it, spongy and warm. Pressing up into you, the coil in your belly growing tighter and tighter.
Mewls left your lips, drawn out and high pitched, Whining and writhing beneath him as he devoured you.
It wasn't so different than when he fed. Laid down and swallowed whole. Desperate and wanting to quell the fire in his bones. To feed the beast inside of him. But instead of bloodlust, a curse from his cruel master, it was the sexual desire and lust of a man. A craving only you could stop.
The coil snaps, slick flushing into his open mouth as he licks you clean. Shushing your pleasure filled cries, riding out the waves of heat and shock.
He pulls away, chin glistening as your thighs tremble. Let down slowly.
"Shh my dear....God you did so well. Look at you!" He giggles, pressing soaked lips to yours. Tangy and sweet, your slick heavy in his tongue. "Glowing I tell you. Orgasms suit you well."
You were pliant and soft, eyes heavy and content. Barely able to muster a breathy laugh before melting into his embrace. His body laid beside you.
"I love you." A whisper finally leaving you, enough breath entering your lungs to speak.
"I love you more, my dear."
AN: OMG OMG OMG I THINK THIS IS THE BEST THING I"VE EVER ACTUALLY WRITTEN????
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parachutingkitten · 2 days ago
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Just so everyone is aware, ayathefly, the account who claims to be a temp voice actress for Dragons Rising, is almost certainly my cyber stalker from last month.
She has almost the exact same story as one of the stalker accounts used to try and befriend me. Back then she was a 23yo temp voice actress named Maya who had a comedically whimsical story about her not knowing information about the ducktales reboot she was hired for. This time she's a 23yo temp voice actress named Aya who has a comedically whimsical story about not knowing information about the Ninjago reboot she was hired for. Both the accounts used generic profile pics from classic cartoons, reblogged posts of mine shortly after creating their account, and had this manner of speaking in their posts which immediately set off alarm bells in my head.
In case you are not privy to the saga, this person made a bunch of false accusations about me on one account while defending me on another in order to, I guess, try and win my favor. This after harassing, threatening, and otherwise pestering me on a number of spam accounts. This includes the full range of pretending to be a fan with a tragic story about a dead brother, to weird sex foot fetish fantasies. Since then I have received emails claiming to be showrunners interested in my feedback which I'm also certain are her.
I have also linked them back to the zanenindroid account, and the parachutingkitfanpage, both abandoned at this point, presumably because they didn't get traction.
I need you to understand I was on the fence about sharing this information. Even if they're making my life annoying, this person has at times claimed to be 16 in messages to me in the past (I figure it's possible that the 23yo thing might just be her pretending to be my same age) and I don't want to be the guy who calls out a kid who lied on the internet to try and get friends- even if what they're doing is ABSOLUTELY inexcusable, it's only really affecting me. I know how to use the block button. Turning off non-follow messaging and anon asks is annoying, but not that huge a deal if it means cutting off avenues for them to contact me.
But recently my MOTHER informed me that she got some strange messages from someone claiming to be a 23yo voice actress, and tried gaslighting her into believing she knew her mom from a writing group like 10 years ago (which is not possible btw), and should TOTALY introduce her to me, because we're the same age, and both interested in animation.
I can't not talk about this anymore. When you bring my family into this, you lose any attempt at mercy from me.
Especially given we have quite a few minors in the fandom, I feel obligated to say something. I would not feel comfortable with anyone I know or care about interacting with this person, regardless of how harmless this person thinks their intentions are. They have proved themselves to be a manipulative, lying, unhinged, and obsessive personality willing to put someone they presumably like through some of the scariest scenarios you can find yourself in on the internet- and then drag your family into it. I would ask that you do not interact, do not give them the time of day, do not try to reason with them, and try your best not to be fooled by new accounts that pop up a week from now with suspiciously similar behavior, because I'm almost certain that will happen if Aya goes silent.
Maybe you think I'm paranoid, and over blowing things, and that's your call to make, but I would not be making this post if I did not feel strongly about this.
Even if somehow this is not the same person, and I am falsely linking these two nearly identical identities, at the very least Aya is not who she proports to be. She claims to have provided temp voices for season 3 just this month (temp voices being temporary voice work done before the actual actors are able to record their lines), but Devon Mack (voice actor for Arin) has confirmed that he was in the middle of recording the official dialogue for season 3 back in January of this year. The idea that the production team would only just now be recording TEMP dialogue for animation that's going to release in just a few months is an absolutely WILD claim. I can not convey to you what an insanely truncated timeline that would be. I don't even think that Dragons Rising is a the kind of show to use temp dialogue, none the less have the budget and time to hire out if they did need temp voices, rather than just using production members like most temp work.
Please, be careful out there everyone.
I'm praying I never have to address this again.
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roz-ani · 19 hours ago
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With all due f-ing respect, Jayce, VIKTOR WAS DYING? WHILE YOU WERE PLAYING POLITICS?
Like, what I'm trying to do is understand Jayce's point. I don't have or don't know anyone with terminal illness, so I'm aware of the fact I simply do not fully comprehend it. I get the leg part (although I don't think we've ever seen Viktor actively trying to do anything about it, I believe his character design supports this line somewhat). It's like when people say: "Why have disabled people in a world where magic exists?". And I understand that a terminal illness could be treated the same way, yet there's still something that icks me about this...
Yes, it was admirable that Viktor didn't give up, but he was prompted by fear and desperation to save himself. To help other people as well, sure, to continue his research and create his own legacy, something to leave behind. And this fear mixed with ambition is what corrupted his dream. It was Viktor's life's mission to help others, and it tuned into an obsession. I kinda think that we didn't explore this enough, and that's why I don't fully see it as part of his character. I know it is, but I wish it was fleshed out a bit more. Also, it would've been nice to see Jayce actually looking up to Viktor, not just supporting and appreciating him as his partner.
Viktor was willing to sacrifice so much to fix what he thought was broken, whether it was something about him or other people. Well, from his perspective, he was indeed helping people as the Herald. Like removing the effects of Shimmer? He refused to sacrifice Vander, so his motives were pure. It's just that his powers happened to be corrupted in the end, and his solution was only an illusion.
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And maybe that's the point. That there is no way and no need to get rid of some things. That there's no miraculous way to "fix" them, because they don't mean you're broken, they're not weaknesses. So maybe this is the point, that you accept them. That you accept the pain and the struggle Viktor called pointless. But we did see people suffer, there was indeed a great need to help those living in the undercity. So is the conclusion just the fact that hextech was a bad approach? Was Viktor supposed to accept his fate? Were the characters supposed to look for a different solution? If Viktor had approached his fate differently, if he hadn't seen himself as broken, none of this would've happened... But I don't think we've seen enough of Viktor's negative perception of himself to be his main drive.
I don't know. There's something inside me that just doesn't fully agree with all that. I'd have to read about how Arcane handles disabilities, especially when it comes to season 2. I feel like I understand this to a certain point, but then I lose it...
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tinybeetiny · 2 days ago
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Bought by Ateez
Please understand this is satire and a joke. Please don't take this seriously, and don't come in my messages telling me how cringey this is BECAUSE I KNOW…. I was feeling sentimental and was reminiscing about my 2012-2015 years…. If you think this is cringey… that’s the whole point. I literally cringed the entire time writing this, but that’s the fun of it. Anyway!!
Cw: CRINGE, HUMAN TRAFFICKING BECAUSE THATS EXACTLY WHAT THIS IS AND WHY DID WE ROMANTICIZE IT AS 13 YEAR OLDS… I cannot lie though…. I was so obsessed with those kidnapped by one direction fics on Wattpad… maybe that’s why I’m so into yandere…
Taglist (I'm so sorry): @e3ellie @yoonshiiu If you would like to be a part of the taglist please fill out this form
Masterlist | Ateez Masterlist
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(Y/n) woke up to the sound her alarm going off. She sat up in her very small twin bed that was in her shoe closet sized room. She stretches her tiny arms as she yawns. “(Y/N) GET DOWN HERE NOW YOU USELESS EXCUSE OF A DAUGHER” she heard mother call for her. She hopped out of bed to throw her long brown hair into a perfect messy bun, threw on the only pair of pants she had which were her light wash ripped skinny jeans and pulled her cream colored sweater on. When she got down the stairs she saw eight men she’s never seen before. Each man stared at her taken aback by her beauty. ‘How could a mother want to sell a daughter so beautiful?’ They all collectively thought “(y/n) you poor excuse for a child. I’m selling you to Ateez because I need more money for drugs.” Her mother spits as she grabs the poor girls arm and throws her to the gentlemen in front of them “B-but why?” The girl felt tears in her eyes “I just told you. I want more money for drugs and I never wanted you anyways. I was just waiting for the day I could get rid of you” The men felt their blood boiling at the words of her mother was spewing out. “Okay that’s enough. We gave you the money already. We’ll be going now” the shortest the eight says sternly to her mother before grabbing her hand gently “Why don’t we go pack your clothes and stuff” he says more gently “I uh I don’t have anything else” she says looking down ashamed. The men sigh feeling bad for what she’s had to go through “OH! Let’s go shopping!” “Oh! Wooyoung had a good idea for once” “Jongho be nice” she watches the grown men bicker amongst themselves. The one holding her hand speaks up “Let’s go and get you some new clothes jagi” she can’t help blush at the nickname.
(Y/n) didn’t know how to feel. A big part of her was very happy she didn’t have to live with that vile woman anymore but now she’ll have to live with eight strange men each one looking like they just stepped out of a GQ magazine. She noticed the glares she got as she walked around the mall with them and she couldn’t help but feel insecure “Are you okay?” She looked over to see the kindest eyes she’d ever seen “Um this just all feels so w-weird” she stutters out “I totally understand! But things can only get from here, right? I’m Seonghwa but you can call me Hwa” "OH MY GOSH GUYS! We never introduced ourselves. I'm Wooyoung, the sexy one" He says sending her a wink "I'm Mingi" "Jongho" "Yunho" "I'm San" "Hi I'm Yeosang" "And I'm Hongjoong" The short one says with a smile. She looked around already forgetting who was who, except Hongjoong "There's so many of you" "It's okay sweetheart, you'll learn very quickly" The group continued to walk through the mall and (y/n) thought that maybe this won't be so bad
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notmorbid · 1 day ago
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all-night pharmacy.
dialogue prompts from all-night pharmacy by ruth madievsky.
you're so alive, it's scary.
being a person doesn't come naturally for me.
what's the deal with this place?
you are my best and my worst friend.
are we horrible people?
i like the idea of having someone to come home to.
i can't tell if you're being cruel or if you're just dumb.
these aren't the decisions of a well-adjusted person.
the less you know about my life, the better.
everyone here is a liar and a cheat.
you deserve to have a life of your own.
a person can't be held responsible for what they don't know.
all relationships are transactional.
no one should have that much power over you.
it isn't too late to come back.
you're uninvited from my birthday party.
i love you, but you're such a cunt.
who do you think you are?
forced intimacy makes me lightheaded.
i know you're in there. let me in.
jesus. why do you have a knife?
what happened last night?
it was less embarrassing to pretend i didn't care.
maybe i'm not the mothering type.
i wish i could carry some of this pain for you.
i need a break from feeling so much all the time.
sometimes i can't tell if i'm asleep or awake.
whatever's going on, we'll figure it out.
i don't know what's wrong with me. i'm scared all the time.
this is the most i can imagine for myself.
if you're not asking yourself 'am i ruining my life?' at least once a day, you're not living at all.
you act like you're over it, but it's okay if you're not.
all my life, i've felt like a dead animal with its skin still on.
it's a virtue to rid yourself of anything that doesn't serve you.
i've never had a day of rest in my life.
i chase after you like a dog, leaving pieces of myself behind, and every time, you act like that's how it's supposed to be.
you don't take me seriously. i'm not a real person to you.
i can't play house anymore.
never say that name in front of me.
to you, other people are always the problem.
you can't reach a mutual understanding without spilling blood.
want to make fifty bucks?
the only way to really see a person is to lose everything you have in common.
you don't think we'll get caught?
our loyalty is to story, not reality.
just don't do anything that could result in a lawsuit or a tmz article, and you're fine.
i don't have the energy to keep up with your antics.
our most beloved delusion was that lying to each other was a kind of love.
speaking our fears aloud won't save us.
one day, the mask slipped. i haven't been able to wear it since.
i try not to think about my life at all.
a junkie can spot another junkie without a flashlight.
your voice reminds me of wool sweaters.
boundaries? i don't know her.
i'm just sick of doing the same goddamn thing every day.
you are obsessed with a projection that will never love you back.
think of me as a spiritually connected friend.
i know liars. you don't strike me as one.
you have iconically poor judgment.
has anyone ever told you about your past lives?
you're capable of tolerating a lot. frankly, more than you should.
friendship can be a slow burn. you don't have to consume it like a drink at last call.
i'll give you a clue. i work for myself.
you make me want to feel things again.
criticism is still a cousin of attention.
you don't have to pretend to like something just because i made it.
i know you crave being told what to do.
you don't have to settle for being a person things happen to.
you have desires. act on them.
bitch, does this look like an intro to philosophy seminar?
i thought i had quit you.
my favorite. how did you know?
i feel like my organs are cannibalizing each other.
how did i get here? that's not a rhetorical question. i'm actually asking.
i can't tell if i believe it, or if i'm making excuses for myself.
sometimes i wonder if it's healthy how much meaning you see in things.
you're always waiting for the universe to hurt you or to love you. usually in that order.
that's how it was in my family. reading the room was a survival skill.
where will all the animals go in the rapture?
a bunch of fuckups under one roof doesn't constitute a family.
my little saint.
time passes more slowly as a sober person.
you'd better not pull away from me now.
there's a russian proverb that goes, 'so much is ruined by saying it aloud'.
you wear your emotions like a name tag.
your resting face frightens me.
how are you both the most innocent and the most experienced person i've ever met?
i need you to just be here with me.
our dead deserve to see you happy.
i like the idea of being marked by you.
i don't know what i saw, but it was more than i wanted.
i know what i saw.
i can't tell which of the memories are real, if any.
i can't believe you're mine.
nobody warned me how terrifying it is to get what you want.
you're cute when you're freaked out.
sex is supposed to be unsettling.
there are things i need to atone for.
you can't go back like it's nothing.
i won't live in service of my dead's vision for me.
___ was a real person. a murder isn't a metaphor.
count five things you can see. four things you can touch. three things you can hear. two things you can smell. one thing you can taste.
banish one god, and you'll end up worshiping another.
i want to be with you, but i don't want to keep feeling like this.
you know everything about me, but you won't let me know you.
you aren't someone i can keep at a distance.
i've been reading about intergenerational curses.
resisting something isn't the same as not wanting it.
anything you say stays between us.
i can't decide if i like you.
most people only possess a third of the empathy they think they have.
will it get easier?
hope is a tricky thing: losing it is bad, but so is having too much.
i don't want the future to come. i have a bad feeling about it.
in cartoons, you don't start falling until you look down.
why are you here? where have you been?
how did you know i'd come looking for you?
you never asked what i was going through. you didn't want to know.
i didn't have the language for what was happening to me.
you were supposed to protect me.
there's a lot i don't remember. a lot i don't want to remember.
i wouldn't have looked for me, either.
we belong to ourselves now.
you know where i am, and i know where you are. maybe that's enough.
when i'm down, vigilante justice makes me feel better.
survival is provisional.
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florainkingdom · 2 days ago
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"Mortals are truly odd, even my own creations, though that was something I accepted eons ago." Sohna wasn't like Fate and wouldn't obsess over making the 'perfect mortal' as there was no such thing. He was the only one who refused to accept this, in the sense he rejects free will, yet Flora exists so there was always going to be natural free will in any mortal despite Fate's efforts. Not that she was going to mention all the drama to Wave.
"In my experience jealously has only caused me and my creations problems. I have also accepted there is no getting rid of it. I simply step in if I think it's causing a problem. I am rather involved with my creations, and treat them well, though they also know not to annoy me least they don't get any attention from me." Sohna's creations were extremely social beings, so denying them social interaction of any kind was a fitting punishment.
Sohna couldn't hold back rolling her eye hearing Wave explain the systemic problem of Babylon's. "Sorry about the eye roll, though that is one thing not even the others understand, and it's how mortals end up limiting themselves based on gender. I certainly don't allow such a thing here, and it's been rather well. My creations do the jobs they're able and that they enjoy if they wish to work." The cosmic being just never understood how such things naturally developed if not a higher being is there keeping it from happening.
"I think you lucked out in not marrying Jet. You two certainly seem far better off with the family dynamic you have. I didn't mention this to avoid puffing up his ego, though I can tell he is rather protective of those close to him. An admiral trait I can respect." Sohna simply didn't want to add more to Jet's ego seeing as she admitted he was attractive just to keep him from complaining anymore.
"I normally go with just the one condition of misuse, though I do know about that Eggman fellow. I'm sure you'll take every measure to keep it from him, though I'd rather him not have it given the off chance he learns about it." Sohna could add a few spells to make it so no machine or person could sense it. "Then I'd feel bad since something with my power fell into the hands of a madman who causes a lot of damage with it."
Why hadn't many mortals come to this conclusion? Easy most of them were idiots. She didn't like being so harsh, but it was just a fact and there was no escaping it. People twisted and turned the words of gods and there divine books into what ever they desired. In the end they let there own foolish arrogance twist it all up. She wasn't a fan of all that. Sure she respected the Babylon Ancestors for there technology but that was as far as it went.
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" The honest truth? It's impossible for them to put themselves in your shoes. The idea that you aren't far removed from them is terrifying... because if you are flawed as they are, you can't be perfect and you have to be perfect... right? I guess that idea scares the hell out of people... "
Her eyes went to the others in the room but didn't linger long as she leaned on her hand with a smile.
" Jealous? of me? Well... i get why they'd feel that way. Can't really blame them but, i think its ok to be Jealous, as long as it doesn't consume your every action or make you do something foolish. "
Excitement? So they were bored with there eternity? That made more sense to her then it should. She imagined herself as an immortal being, and she knew a some point she'd run out of ideas. Things to build, and then what? Immortality was a curse she had always believed that. She still wouldn't turn it away if she got the chance for it but... she wasn't deluded into thinking it fixed everything.
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" So you think i'm attractive? Well you did peak my interest as well. I've always wondered what meeting a Cosmic being would be like... this wasn't what i imagined. Nothing like the novels i read as a kid... but that's probably a good thing "
Dedicated? She was though it was alot more complicated then Sohna probably knew. Could she even understand what it was like to be looked down on? To be shunned because of your gender? To be told you were never going to be as good as the boys? That was her childhood and it drove her to be exceptional! To be better then anyone else, she had so much to prove! she went there and beyond! its why she couldn't let Tails one up her EVER!
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" Dedicated? I mean i guess? I had to be... Babylon's don't really see girls as equal to men. It's like a Systemic problem of the older generation. Hell my parents tried to make me marry Jet of all people. That's the green one..."
She sighed softly and looked sad thinking back to her past.
" I was always told i couldn't do this, or i'd never be as good as the boys. I had to learn so much on my own as none of the gear smiths would even teach me... and it was only my mother who convinced one to finally take me on as an apprentice. So... yea i'm dedicated because im to stubborn to let some old bastards tell me what i can and cant do...Sorry that was probably to much. "
Her eyes shifted at the mention of a gift, though and she looked excited at the mention of a gift. So a power source? Something divine only she could use? That sure seemed to make her mood shift quickly as she smiled up at Sohna, if she wanted a kiss she was sure heading in the right direction for it! she did love gifts! and this one sounded rather intriguing!
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" Ooo! that sounds delightful! i mean a girl neve refuses a mysterious cosmic power core right? you are so sweet! i could kiss you! I totally promise i won't let a soul touch it! especially that dummy jet! or that oaf storm! "
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brucie-baby · 5 months ago
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nietzsche & batman/superman: world's finest
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scootersscooter · 1 year ago
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the best friends ever actually
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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 1 year ago
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mushyposts · 5 hours ago
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TUMBLR PLEAAASE LET ME POST THIS NOW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.
OF COURSE!!! This is the sort of analysis I could honestly talk about for hours, and if you have ANY more thoughts on my fic, please please PLEASE dont be scared to message me and hash it out!! I absolutely love the chance to think critically and analytically about my work.
You are absolutely not projecting, and even if you were, that would be entirely valid!! Creativity exists as a vessel for us as humans to feel, and if my writing at all helps you process any feelings you have around the themes I explore in it then I think i have more then succeeded in my task as a writer! : D
I also think that as a writer, I can put as much intent as I physically can into my writing. I can spend hours working to make sure a certain theme is perceived the specific way I want it to be, but if someone takes it a different way then I cant change that! I can take it as it is, and from there move and try to approach the theme in a different way, but people all have different live experiences that will make them see what i write differently. My experiences with parental figures, their presence, lack of, and their affection towards me will always be different to yours for example, and that means you will see how I write the parental dynamics in my writing different to how I do! Does that make sense?
Okay onto the actual analysis LMAO!! I think that people get caught up in this idea of "The choice was made for the greater good, so he should be absolved." and although yes, there is merit to understanding Hakoda didn't want to leave and was doing what he thought was the best choice for his kids and the future of his tribe its also SUPER important to understand that there were other ways.
A few things when considering the argument of Hakoda taking ALL the men, is firstly that we don't actually know how many people were in the "fleet" and there is some defence to the idea of them needing every working hand they can get, however I also think that alongside this argument is if Hakoda was doing this to protect his tribe it would have made sense to at LEAST leave enough men to defend them, or train Sokka and the other younger boys to have some form of defence.
I think the closest we get at seeing how many are in the fleet is pre-black sun, when they all meet up, and even then those numbers are skewed because of the involvement of other groups of people. EG: The swamp benders, the earthbenders and then the people who took residence at the northern airtemple. I do, however, personally believe that there should have been some men left behind to defend.
Another thing to consider is the canon timeline for when Kya dies and then when Hakoda leaves and then to canon actually is kind of inconsistent? We can assume Hakoda left around when Sokka was 13, but during the flashback of Kya's death along with the flashbacks in Bato of the water tribe where we see Hakoda leave, Sokka actually looks a lot younger. As far as I'm aware, as a show only watcher who doesnt actively intend on reading the comics, we dont really know how long the time between Kyas death and Hakoda leaving is. I even say at the start of my fic that I fucked with the canon timeline a bit to make it line up a bit better.
I think the show acknowledges Hakoda's abandonment and the complex ways thats hurt both Sokka and Katara in subtle ways. Katara very outwardly displaying her upset, albeit initially passive aggressively, she does eventually burst out, telling him "we needed you." and Hakoda apologises. Sokka is more internal, he obsesses over his ability to explain his plans, how he's perceived by his peers, an obsession with masculinity and what it means to be a man when you were never truly taught it in the first place.
I also think something that people tend to get mixed up with when it comes to critiquing Hakoda as a father, is they often equate being a bad dad, to being an abuser.
Hakoda, at least in my interpretations and I never intend for him to come off as so, isnt an abusive father. He is not a perfect father, he has made many choices that led to the long lasting hurt of his children. Speaking in the development of my own fic and how i've worked with Hakoda's character, he is an absent figure who was faced with an impossible choice and should have thought through it in more depth. He made a choice, and although its hard to fully say without a doubt he chose wrong, it had severely negative ramifications on the mental well being of his children.
Theres a lot to be said on the nuance of abuse, neglect, absent parental figures, especially fathers, and I don't want to speak TOO heavily on this because again, its such a nuanced and complex topic that I think I couldn't even begin to unwrap in tumblr reblogs. Theres some incredible fics out there exploring this with Hakoda and Sokka's dynamic, and I even have a one shot in the making all about this stuff in the canon universe seperate from my writing, but I just REALLY want to emphasise that I am so aware of how Zuko will come off to Sokka as a replacement.
I think in Zukka fics, or any fic with their dynamic, Sokka is often used as a tool for Zuko's healing, and his own trauma and negative experiences are put on the backburner in turn for Zuko's more outwardly present trauma. This is never something I want to do in my writing, I want to give a stage to each characters trauma, experiences and lives and try to show that things arent always as clean cut as they seem.
Hakoda abandoned Sokka and Katara. he left Sokka to be a man, without truly giving him the tools to do so.
Hakoda saved Zuko from death, and gave him a chance at life again.
These are two things that can exist at once, and the existence of one does not negate the other. People are a mess of good, bad, neutral, and its so hard to untangle it. Sometimes it doesnt even need to be untangled, sometimes you just need to hold the mess that people are and know it isnt a slight on you. You didnt cause the tangle, some tangles just are, yknow??
I also do personally believe in canon there are a lot of gaps that dont fully make sense in reference to Hakoda's character, and I think he honestly could have been executed a lot better in canon, so thats also something I like to consider whenever I am thinking too hard abt Hakodas character!!
I hope this made ANY sense at all. I usually have to sift through my writing like, a hundred times to get any kind of sense out of it, but truly this has been such a pleasure to write about!! : D Ur thoughts are so well written, and its incredible, as i said before, to see people picking up on the more nuanced things I'm trying to set up for future chapters!! it helps keep my steam for writing this honestly WAY bigger fic then I intended going!! : D I am MORE then happy to indulge!!!! If anything, this is indulging for ME! So thank YOU!!!
(Also, to answer ur tags, it isnt bad ur a bit mad at Hakoda!! He's flawed, thats okay! He's made mistakes just like anyone does. His just have more ramifications since he's the adult. I am a HUGE Hakoda stan and I do love him, but trying to work around canon and make him be a good father... A bit tricky!!)
I already put this on ao3 in a comment but you made me cry so you have to see it twice now. I know this entire story is Zuko-centric but I literally can't stop thinking about what this au means for Sokka.
Ok I just have to say I felt so heartbroken for Sokka here. All I could think about was how all of a sudden there's a boy in the place he's supposed to be. HE should be travelling with the men, HE should've been with them for the last three years, HE should be trusted enough with all this important stuff he should know if he is the next chief/acting chief.
He is being told this new kid has seen and done things the most skilled of warriors couldn't have done, like he is this almost untouchable standard Sokka can't reach. Then to be told he's taken Sokka's place in the tribe as Hakoda's and Batos' adopted child, teaching him how to be a man over the three years Sokka didn't even know his father, never a letter, never knowing when they would come home. Then being told by that same kid that he was only playing war. not to mention the piercings and jewellery he's adorned with.
Sokka has been the leader of the remnants of the Southern Water Tribe for three years, and due to the strict gender divides, had no one to teach him how to lead in the way a chief would. He has been the one hunting, defending, in charge of the future of their civilisation, the education of the children, which is really important in their culture. the memories of his father would be so twisted to the memories Hadoka has of Sokka. Sokka, in the months before he left, lost his mother, protecting his little sister. he then saw his father fall deep into depression, becoming very detached, and from what is described, angry and violent, not towards him, but that his still scary behaviour to witness. Then, his father left, and he was told he couldn't come, and that he was in charge of the village. Even though it was probably to boost his ego at the time more than anything, the impact on Sokka in that moment, combined into quite literally what his job becoming.
Just imagine when he finds out the secrets Zuko's hiding and how his father and Bato knew and didn't tell him. Sokka has struggled with feeling like he isn't important, as a non-bender and his relations with his sister, her being a prodigy + a bender, and his father, always feeling like he wasn't enough for his dad, not good enough, not smart enough, not needed, but the Zuko's good enough, Hakoda loves him.
Zuko, who has had an incredibly traumatic and difficult childhood, the last three years of his life is where he has found and made a spot for himself in a positive community that loves him and supports him, Sokka has become increasingly more and more isolated, and his sense of self has changed even more dramatically in the last few weeks.
Sorry for the long rant, but I could just feel Sokka's fears and insecurities screaming at me throughout the chapter. Love this work though, just cried for Sokka <3
HIII OH YOU SO GET IT!! OH YOU SOOOO GET IT!! The fic is for SURE Zuko-centric, but I have been intentionally layering on the potential for his arc to align with Sokka's in completely the opposing way. Zuko has everything Sokka wants, he has a space with the crew, the warriors. he spent the last three years with his father and Bato, bonding, developing his identity as a person alongside the tribe, welcomed in, he has gotten to be everything that Sokka has always wanted. Meanwhile, Sokka has everything that Zuko wants. Sokka was home, somewhere safe with people who cared for him and looked up to him, with his sister, away from his parents and in a position where he was in charge of his own life. Its such a twisted, complex situation where the two crave, desperately, what the other has without thinking about the context. Without thinking of what got the other to the point of having what they wanted, both in turn. IM SOOO happy to see someone talking about Sokka ohhhughhh im so fucking happy. I think a lot of people have focused on Sokka's initial attitude towards Zuko, without thinking about every single thing you've brought up in this beautifully constructed comment, of which I am really excited to eventually flesh out when I am back from hiatus. Sokka, more than anything, wants to be a warrior alongside his father. For Zuko, he doesn't think Sokka fully understands the gravity of what that would look like, especially after having experienced such a heavy loss as he had recently. (RIP king im sorry) but for Sokka, he see's a replacement. he doesnt know the nuances, not for lack of intelligence but he just literally hasnt been told and although he is owed explanation he isn't owed Zuko's story in its full, of what led Hakoda and Bato to the decision of keeping him on board. I firmly believe if Zuko had have been older, or had have been a child from any other nation, Hakoda and Bato would have not kept him. I actually go over this a lot in the early chapters where they're deciding wtf to do. It genuinely ended up being a problem of "well. No matter where we put him he's gonna get killed. How fucked up is that, safest place for this kid is LITERALLY on a warship of the enemy. great." I also think acknowledging the fact that Zuko HAS had a lot of support and comfort in the last three years whereas Sokka has not is a super important point to be made! Despite the current circumstances, and the ones that led Zuko to being in the position he is/was, Zuko did have support which Sokka lacked. TBH, if I hadve had more wiggle room and decided to fuck with canon more then I already had, I would have left a good amount of the warriors in the SWT, unlike in canon. Or had Hakoda go back to leave soldiers there when he realised they were going to be gone for longer then what I am assuming was initially planned. However I was more then aware that would SIGNIFICANTLY change the circumstances of Sokka's experiences and how it aligns with Zuko's, in canon and in the fic, so i chose against it. This is such a sporadic messy reply I am just so happy to get a comment picking up on all the stone I've been laying for a big discussion on the details of Sokka's own trauma and how its going to clash with Zuko's.
All this to say, Sokka will absolutely be getting his turn to hash out everything you've said here and I can promise you no stone will be left unturned when it comes to his trauma and life experiences!! I think a big thing I am most excited for is having the two hash it out and realise where their lives overlap, where their feelings and experiences align and managing to acknowledge that each others traumas dont cancel each other out. Zuko's experiences do not cancel out Sokka's, and Sokka's do not cancel out Zuko's.
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