#i'm so happy someone so dedicated to and passionate about the role of such an incredible character was chosen jack we love you so so much

[therealnuclearplatypus]

the fact that jack wolfe is probably queer makes his portrayal of wylan so much more special and meaningful to me

[swanlikely]

Current Brainrot: Helping Husband Nanami! Unwind

Author's Note: This scrumptious gem graced my timeline today, and I couldn't resist writing a fic about it. Do yourself a favor and follow the artist on Twitter, and while you're at it, check out her Patreon—it's totally worth it! (Artist & Her Patreon)

not proof-read! (sorry if there are any errors - let me know and i'll fix it!)

CW: AFAB! reader, usage of she/her, handjob (m! receiving), oral (m! receiving), pet names, role-play (prostitution), public sex

word count: 2k

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Nanami was the epitome of dedication, tirelessly clocking in countless hours at the office to ensure his sweet wife lived in the lap of luxury. He was a gentleman in every sense. Yet, sometimes, this relentless work ethic could be his Achilles' heel.

Stress was making its unwelcome presence known in Nanami, with shadows deepening under his honey-gold eyes and the weight of the world pressing down on his broad shoulders. He was beat. After surviving yet another grueling twelve-hour shift, he was at his limit. All he craved was to return home to you, his loving wife.

And as his loving wife, you couldn't miss the signs. You saw how he would collapse into bed like stone after a long day, too exhausted to even finish his dinner. You heard the frustrated groans as he dragged himself out of bed each morning. But most importantly, you felt the strain in your bedroom.

Not to say Nanami wasn't satisfying you—quite the opposite, he was only satisfying you.

Despite his exhaustion, his touch was tender yet fervent, his kisses a mix of urgency and devotion. He'd make sure to lap at your cunt each night, with his talented tongue. Letting you know just how much he loved you, how he put your needs above his own. But that was exactly it—what about him? It worried you to no end; all you wanted to do was make sure your husband was happy. Seeing him give so much of himself, you felt a uncomfortable combination of gratitude and concern. You wanted to reciprocate, to show him the same level of care and passion. You longed to ease his burdens, to be his sanctuary just as he was yours. The thought of him carrying all that weight alone tugged at your heart, and you resolved to find a way to bring balance, to ensure he was taken care of as well.

Which was exactly why you weren't at home, playing the doting wife as always, but leaning up against his car hood, dressed in something completely out of character for you.

Fishnets, Daisy Duke shorts, and a tank top that hugged every curve clung to your body, making you a walking temptation. You watched your husband approach the car through glittery, half-lidded eyes. Letting out an exaggerated whistle, you purred, "Well, hello handsome," catching your husband's eyes.

He was just a few steps away, his furrowed brows and confused smile giving away his exhaustion. The dark circles under his eyes were still visible, and his button-up shirt was slightly wrinkled. It had clearly been another long day for him, and you were ready to melt away all that stress. But you couldn't do it as his wife; no, you needed to become someone else entirely. You had to offer him an escape from reality.

"What're you doing here, sweetheart?" he asked, his voice gruff and drawn out. His hair was still neatly groomed, and oh, you wanted to make a mess of that. Make a mess of him. "Also, I'm not one to tell you what to wear, but this is different." His eyes roamed your body, lingering over your breasts to the tips of your black heels. He was right, this was different.

"Mmhm, you like?" You bite down on your glossy, plump bottom lip. Nanami swallowed hard.

"Just a girl trying to make some money tonight," you continue, against the hood of his car. Your elbows prop you up, pushing out your breasts that were practically spilling out. "Ah, I see," he murmured. His eyes, though shadowed with exhaustion, now swam with an almost predatory hunger that swirled in the depths of his amber gaze.

You giggled at the fact that your husband was playing along with your little game, as he always did. Though tonight wasn't for you; no, it was all for him. Placing your delicate palm against Nanami's sculpted chest, he shivered for a moment. That was new.

"So, Mister, would you like to help a girl out and make use of my services?" Your voice was hot and breathy as you slowly undid the first button of his dress shirt. Nanami's eyes tracked the movement of your perfectly manicured fingers, lingering on the way they teased each button. A surprising rose-tint spread across his cheeks, his usual stoic demeanor giving way to a vulnerable flush. You could get drunk off of him.

"What kind of man would I be if I didn't help a pretty girl like you out?" Nanami chuckled, a bit sheepish, as he fumbled with the car keys, finally managing to unlock the doors. Seeing such a strong, composed man acting so coy made your thighs clench. This outfit and role were really doing it for him, huh?

After hearing the car beep, you quickly pulled both yourself and your husband inside, sliding into the backseat. It was a tight fit, with Nanami's broad frame hovering over you, his arms and legs straddling your body. The closeness made you acutely aware of just how much bigger he was than you. Instinctively, his mouth found your neck, immediately shifting into husband mode. But tonight, you wouldn't let him neglect his own needs just to please you.

"Stop," you groan, fighting the urge to let Nanami do what he normally does. He immediately pulls away, his eyes filled with worry. He searches yours for answers but only finds eyes brimming with lust. "No touching, you're paying for my services, remember?" you giggle, pressing against his chest to flip him over. Now, you were on top, straddling his lap. His heavy cock pressed against you, straining against the confines of his trousers, yearning to be free. The two of you were panting, the heat between you making the car windows fog up. You were lucky the parking garage was deserted at this hour.

"I, uh, sweetheart…" he stammered, struggling to find the words as you mirrored his earlier actions. Your mouth traced a path from his neck down to the exposed part of his collarbone, licking and sucking gently. Lips parted and teeth against skin. You couldn't help but think, God, you needed to do this more often.

His hips jerked against yours, causing the both of you to throb with want. The fabric of your shorts was already damp, barely able to contain the heat building between you. Your hands roamed down his muscular frame, your fingers tease as they reached the zipper of his trousers. You fumbled with it, the anticipation making your breath hitch. His low groan in your ear sent shivers down your spine, and you pressed closer, feeling the urgency of his need matching your own.

"Please let me touch you, just a little," he pleaded, his grip tightening on the leather seat, veins on his arms standing out. The desperation in his voice sent a thrill through you. You had made Nanami Kento, usually so proper, whine like a slut. You leaned in closer, your breath mingling with his, reveling in the power you held in that moment.

"Here, you can get a kiss, but it'll cost you extra," you laugh, pressing your open mouth to his. The kiss was sloppy, tongues intertwining with a fervor that made your head spin. His mouth was hot, and he tasted delectable—an unexpected blend of mint and cinnamon. You were melting into him. "Nghhh, sweet girl, let me touch you..." Nanami's voice was trembling, his restraint barely holding on. This was absolute torture for him; he wasn't used to being the one pampered.

"No," Your fingers hooked onto the belt loops of his khaki trousers, slowly tugging them down to reveal his throbbing cock, leaking precum. A frustrated moan caught in his throat as he waited for you to do something, anything.

His cock was pretty, more so than usual tonight. It was a darker shade of pink, thick and pulsing, with veins prominently visible at the base, likely from all the accumulated stress. Nanami hadn't cum in the past two weeks, so naturally, he was this pent up. His cock was so tempting, begging for attention.

As you wrapped your glossy lips around the tip, Nanami's hips jerked involuntarily, aching for more. The desire to thrust into the back of your throat and make a mess of your slutty makeup consumed him, but Nanami, being the gentleman he was, forced himself still. After all, he wouldn't want to harm his lovely wife, right?

But that's not what you wanted. You wanted Nanami to take out all his anger, all his stress, all his bad days on you. To defile you in a way he would a slut. That's who you were tonight, right? No longer his wife, but the whore he needed.

"Don't hold back, use me," you groaned against his cock, your mouth still wrapped sweetly around it. Drool dribbled down as you pleaded for him to let go. Getting Nanami to be rough was like asking to be struck by lightning—rare, but when it happened, it was electrifyingly intense.

"Such a dirty girl," without hesitation, Nanami began to buck his hips, driving his cock deep into your throat. Your mouth watered, saliva pooling at the base of his needy cock. He was so thick, making it a struggle not to gag. "Such a good whore for me," Tears welled up in your eyes, and your cheeks hollowed as you fought to keep up with his relentless pace.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you…" He kept repeating, babbling at this point as he used your mouth. He was drunk on pleasure, feeling the plush, wet insides of your mouth and the back of your throat. The sensation was overpowering for him, and you could see it in the way his body shuddered and groans flying from his mouth. It felt so good watching him writhe in ecstasy, completely lost in the moment. His hands gripped your hair tighter, guiding you as he continued to lose himself in you. The sight of him so vulnerable only fueled your urge to push him further into this blissful state.

You began to hum as he thrust into you, the vibrations around his length driving him insane. He let out the most beautiful grunt, a sound that sent jolts straight to your dripping cunt. You could tell he was close; his movements were becoming erratic and more forceful, causing you to gag and choke each time he hit the back of your throat. Perfect. He needed this release, and so did you. The anticipation had been building for weeks, and now you were desperate to taste him, to feel that connection you had been craving.

"Sweetheart, I can't," he breathed out, his legs stiffening and back arching slightly, plunging him deeper into your throat. His tip was bruising your throat by now, but you didn't care. You needed to see your husband come undone. Using a free hand to grip the base of his length, you began to pump up and down in rhythm with his thrusts. You were going to send him into a spiral, make him regret not being more selfish these last two weeks, make him wish he'd never taken that overtime at the stupid office.

"Gonna come," he winced, the words dragging out as his handsome face contorted in pleasure. Nanami's grip tightened on the back of your head, thrusting his length into your throat with desperation. You could definitely feel the bruises forming, but the feeling only heightened the moment. His hot, salty cum erupted into your throat, filling your mouth and leaving you with barely any time to savor its taste. The sheer force of his release made your eyes water and throat flex, but you reveled in the raw, filthiness. As he pulled back, you licked your lips, catching the last remnants of him, a satisfied smirk playing on your face.

His mouth agape, cheeks flushed, and eyes completely spent as he was panting to catch his breath. You completely wrecked him. "God, you're...incredible," he managed to say between shallow breaths, still reeling from his orgasm. The sight of him so messy only made you want to see him like this again and again. You could see the way his muscled chest heaved, each rise and fall a testament to the pleasure you had just given him. His hands, which had been gripping you with such fervor, now lay limp at his sides, fingers twitching slightly as if still remembering the feel of you.

As he slowly regained his composure, a lazy smile spread across his face. "I don't think I'll ever get enough of you," he whispered, his voice hoarse but filled with sincerity.

"Now, how much extra for another kiss?" he asked, a playful glint in his eyes.

"It's on the house,"

[hoshifighting]

Workaholic!Joshua

— Synopsis: Joshua consistently skips happy hours or works overtime. You've tried to warn your friend countless times, but he didn't listen to you. As a result, it's no surprise that Joshua experienced a burnout on the office floor. — WC: 5.3k — WARNINGS: Smut, fluff, angst, office setting, fingering (f. receiving), clit stimulation, handjob, penetrative sex, a little bit of car sex, protected sex, dirty talk, flirty Joshua.

[Please be aware that the following text includes mentions of burn-out, collapse, fainting out, which may be a sensitive topic for some]

[Issue Club Serie]

You remember when you heard your manager talking about a job vacancy in the recruitment and selection sector. The name immediately stood out to you—Joshua. You studied with him in college, and you knew he would be perfect for the role.

The manager loved him. Joshua was charismatic, empathetic, and dedicated—everything the recruitment team needed. Every morning, he would thank you profusely, and at least twice a week, he would insist on buying you an overpriced coffee. It took some time for you to convince him that he didn't need to do this.

But there was something else you couldn't help but notice. The sheer number of job interviews Joshua had to lead, the late nights you'd see him at his desk with tired eyes, and how he always seemed a little lonely, even though the team welcomed him with open arms.

Joshua would rarely show up to the department's happy hours on Fridays or the company parties, and even then, he would only talk about work. There was no relief, no relaxation. You found yourself listening to him until the end of the night, as the rest of the team started to ask if he would even bother coming anymore, knowing he probably wouldn't.

You couldn't help but feel for Joshua. He was clearly passionate about his work, but at what cost? You watched as he isolated himself, unable to find that work-life balance that so many of us strive for. It made you wonder, what was driving him to push himself so hard, and at what point would the stress and loneliness become too much to bear?

As his friend, you couldn't help but worry about his well-being. You'd seen him cancel plans, skip social events, and even miss out on family gatherings, all in the name of his career. It was admirable, sure, but also concerning. 

You could consider reaching out, inviting him for a coffee or a quick chat. Maybe he just needed someone to listen and remind him that there was more to life than just work. 

But then again, who were you to judge? 

Everyone has their own path, their own motivations. Still, you couldn't shake the feeling that Joshua was heading for a burnout. You wondered if there was a way to help him find a better balance without undermining his ambitions. It was a tricky situation, and you weren't sure how to approach it.

As you glance at the clock, the hands indicate it's already 3:35 pm. Your stomach growls, reminding you that you've been so absorbed in your work that you've skipped lunch. Deciding it's time for a much-needed break, you gather your phone and wallet, heading towards the exit of the department.

But just as you're about to leave, you spot Joshua, his fingers dancing across the keyboard in a blur of movement. You can't help but let out a small sigh, knowing he's likely putting in extra hours again. Turning around, you make your way over to his desk, standing beside him.

"Joshua, it's past 3:30. Don't you think it's time for a break?" you say, your voice laced with concern.

Joshua looks up, blinking a few times as he registers your presence. "Oh, hey Y/N. I'm just trying to get this report finished before the end of the day," he explains, his brow furrowed in concentration.

You can't help but smile at his dedication. "Come on, you've been working non-stop. Let's go grab a bite to eat across the street. My treat," you offer, hoping to coax him away from his desk.

Joshua hesitates for a moment, glancing back at his computer screen. "I don't know, Y/N. I really need to get this done..."

"It can wait, Joshua. You need to take a break and recharge," you insist, your tone gentle but firm.

With a sigh, Joshua nods and starts to gather his things. "Alright, you win. Let's go," he says, shrugging on his blazer.

You can't help but feel a sense of triumph as the two of you head towards the elevator. "So, how are the apprentice interviews going?" you ask. "They're going well, actually. The candidates are all so eager and eager to learn," Joshua replies, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

You chuckle, nodding in understanding. "That's the best phase, but I hope they don't overwork themselves in the future, right Josh?" you say, casting him a knowing glance.

Joshua ducks his head, chuckling quietly. "Yeah, yeah, I hear you," he says, the hint of a smile still playing on his face.

As you step out into the bustling street, you feel the sun's warmth on your face, a pleasant contrast to the cold, sterile office. You turn to Joshua, a playful grin spreading across your face.

"Alright, Josh, here's the deal. If you talk about work during this break, you'll owe me an ice cream," you declare, wagging a finger at him.

Joshua laughs, a genuine sound that lightens the mood. "Deal. Though, to be honest, I'd buy you an ice cream anyway," he says, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Don't you forget it. And remember, I'm serious," you say, trying to keep a straight face as you give him a mock-stern look.

Joshua raises his hands in surrender, still chuckling. "Alright, alright, I heard you loud and clear."

As you both find a cozy little café, the smell of freshly baked bread and brewed coffee envelops you. You choose a table by the window, and as you settle in with your meals, the casual chatter of other patrons creates a comforting background hum.

"Did you hear about the latest drama?" you begin, leaning in conspiratorially. "The director's wife found out he was cheating on her because her strawberry jam kept disappearing from the fridge—and the director doesn't even like strawberry jam!"

Joshua's mouth drops open, his eyes wide in disbelief. "No way. Seriously?" he exclaims, staring at you.

You nod, your face a picture of exaggerated exasperation. "Yup. She noticed it was going down way too fast and started putting two and two together."

Joshua shakes his head, still processing the story. "That's wild. You know, during the last interview I led, they actually put some strawberry jam on the table so the candidates would—" He stops abruptly as your glare pierces him. He laughs, holding up his hands again. "Sorry, sorry! No work talk, I remember."

You can't help but smile at his sheepish expression. "Thank you. So, back to the story. After she figured it out, she didn’t just confront him. Oh no, she went all out. She invited him to a romantic dinner, complete with candles and, of course, strawberry jam."

Joshua raises an eyebrow, intrigued. "And then what happened?"

You lean in closer, lowering your voice. "She waited until he took a bite of the dessert she made—some fancy strawberry tart. And then she calmly asked him if he enjoyed it as much as his 'office snacks.'"

Joshua bursts out laughing, nearly choking on his food. "No way! That’s brilliant. What did he do?"

You grin, enjoying his reaction. "He turned beet red and started stammering. She didn’t even wait for an explanation. She just got up, left the table, and moved out the next day. Took the jam with her too, just for good measure."

Joshua laughs so hard tears form in his eyes. "I can't believe it. That's some next-level pettiness. Good for her."

You noticed Joshua seemed more relaxed after your lunch together. He even managed a smile when you passed by his desk later that day. However, during the week, your attempts to repeat the lunch outing were met with resistance. Each time you invited him, he had a different excuse.

"Hey, Josh, want to grab some lunch today?" you asked on Tuesday, hoping to replicate the success of your last outing.

"Sorry, Y/N. I need to lead the apprentice interview," he replied, not looking up from his computer.

On Wednesday, you tried again. "How about lunch today? There is a pasta sale going on at the mall."

Joshua sighed, shaking his head. "I wish I could, but I need to filter the job applications. We're getting so many, and I need to find the best ones."

By Thursday, your frustration was evident, but you kept it in check. "Lunch today, Josh? You deserve a break."

"I'd love to, but I need to solve the issue with the employees' late salaries," he said, sounding genuinely apologetic. "It's causing a lot of stress for everyone."

Joshua was developing into someone who rarely took a break from his work. Today was Friday, and as you were leaving with your coworkers, all you wanted was to taste a cold beer and find some refuge from the rough week. The whole department was eager to hang out together, and the air was filled with energy.

You were refreshing your makeup at your desk as your coworkers trickled out, laughing and chatting. Glancing over, you saw Joshua standing by the printer, watching the curriculums pile up.

"Josh, you coming out with us tonight?" you called over, hoping to finally get him to relax.

He looked up, "I don't know, Y/N. I have these curriculums to go through, and then there's the report I need to finish."

Tired of trying, you sigh in defeat, the weight of your concern for Joshua pressing heavily on your shoulders. He notices, his eyes meeting yours briefly, but you turn away and walk out. You knew you didn't have the responsibility of checking on him every single time—it was his choice to work himself into exhaustion. But how could you not worry? He was a great friend, and the thought of him breaking down alone between the dividers of his desk was unbearable.

As you sip your beer, trying to enjoy the happy hour, the image of Joshua's lost eyes lingers in your mind. The laughter and chatter around you fade into the background as your thoughts drift back to him. After a few hours, the night winds down, and you remember you forgot your keys at the office. Debora, your coworker, offers you a ride back so you can retrieve them before heading home.

The office is dark and silent as you and Debora step inside, your footsteps echoing softly on the tiled floor. Only one light is turned on, casting a dim glow over a single desk. You immediately recognize it—Joshua's desk. But he isn't sitting there.

A sense of dread fills you as you approach, the cubicle dividers blocking your view. As you round the corner, you see him—Joshua, sprawled on the floor.

You gasp, rushing to his side. "Joshua!" you scream out, your voice trembling with panic. You carefully lift his head and place it on your lap, your hands shaking as you check for signs of consciousness. He's unresponsive, his face pale and drawn.

"Debora, call an ambulance!" you shout, your voice tight.

Debora fumbles with her phone, her fingers trembling as she dials. She quickly explains the situation to the operator and then rushes to find building security for additional help.

You gently shake Joshua, trying to rouse him. "Come on, Josh, wake up," you whisper urgently, but he remains still, his breathing shallow.

Minutes later, which feel like an eternity, the sound of sirens pierces the silence. The paramedics arrive, and you reluctantly let go of Joshua as they take over, assessing his condition and preparing to move him. You insist on riding with him to the hospital, unable to leave his side.

As the ambulance speeds through the city streets, you hold Joshua's hand, your heart pounding with worry. Outside the building, a few employees gather, watching the scene unfold with concern. You barely notice them, your focus entirely on Joshua, praying silently that he'll be okay.

You don't know exactly how many hours you've been by Joshua's side as he lies in the hospital bed. You watched the morning light grow brighter through the window, dozed off, woke up to find him still sleeping, went to the bathroom, and grabbed something from the cafeteria. When you return to his room, you see Joshua awake, a nurse measuring his blood pressure. An uncomfortable silence settles in as the nurse finishes up and leaves.

You sigh, walking next to him and turning your back to him.

"Are you mad at me?" Joshua asks, his voice still weak.

You shake your head, the words snapping out before you can stop them. "No, I'm letting you rest, since you don't do it yourself."

He sighs deeply, and you close your eyes, immediately regretting your harsh tone. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to give you this much trouble," he says softly.

You shake your head negatively, looking down. "I found you on the floor, Josh. The only reason I was there was because I forgot my keys. What if I hadn't come back?"

Joshua struggles, but he manages to reach out and catch your hand that is hanging by the bedside. His cold touch makes you glance at him. His eyes are full of exhaustion.

"Please, don't make me this worried again,"

Joshua squeezes your hand weakly. "I'll try, Y/N. I really will. I'm sorry for pushing myself so hard and for pushing you away. I didn't realize how bad it had gotten."

You nod "You don't have to do everything alone, you know. We're all here for you. I'm here for you."

He nods, his eyes glistening. "I know. And I appreciate it more than you know. I just... I need to find a better balance."

"Promise me you'll take it seriously this time," you say.

"I promise," he whispers, his grip on your hand tightening just a bit, weakly. "I'll take better care of myself."

You sit down next to him, your hand still in his. "Good. Because you can't go through that again."

You didn't like the rumors circulating around the office about Joshua while he was away. It bothered you to hear whispers about his collapse, especially since everyone in his department knew how hard he worked and yet pretended everything was fine. 

As the days passed, Joshua's desk slowly filled with Post-it notes and snacks, contributions from you and other departments. Joshua's sudden health scare was a wake-up call, touching more hearts than just yours.

When Joshua returned today, Friday, you watched from your desk as he walked in, his eyes lighting up at the sight of his desk. Messages of encouragement and little treats were piled high. 

His face goes red as he glances around, catching the subtle glances of his coworkers. They quickly return to their tasks, but you see the corners of their mouths twitching with barely concealed smiles.

He worked at his desk, and his department members spared him from taking on too much. As the windows started to show the darkening sky, some people had already left to go home. Unlike regular Fridays, there was no happy hour planned for tonight.

Seungkwan approached Joshua's desk, a concerned look on his face. "Hey, Josh, you should really think about not doing extra hours today."

Joshua shook his head, "I'm going to take it easy for now…" a small smile formed as he looked at you. "Also, I have a happy hour for two tonight, so no extra hours."

As his friends gave you sly glances and teased you with their smiles, you felt your cheeks blush.

"Looks like someone's got a date," Seungkwan said, grinning.

How did you two end up on a date? It started in the hospital. Joshua was still recovering, lying in bed, holding your hand. The room was quiet, the noise from machines was the only sound.

"How can you forgive me?" he asked, his voice soft.

You shook your head, a gentle smile on your face. "I'm not mad at you, Josh. But it would be cool if you took a break every now and then. Maybe we could go to a happy hour someday."

Joshua licked his lips, still holding your hand and giving it a weak squeeze. He looked up at you, all flirty. "Would you be open to having a happy hour with just you and me?"

You blinked, shocked. "What?"

He blushed, looking down for a moment before meeting your eyes again. "Come on, it's so difficult for me to take a break. I'd love to have you as the motive for my breaks."

You scoffed, attempting to conceal the warmth that spread throughout your chest. "You should take breaks for your health and my sanity."

Joshua brushed his thumb against your hand, a playful grin grabbing at his lips. "Don't scold me, Y/N-nie, I'm sick," he teased.

You stared at him, a shocked smirk on your face. "You're taking advantage of me."

"Yes," he said, his smile growing. "Using the advantage, so you accept having an encounter with me."

The memory of that conversation makes you smile as you walk out of the office together, the evening air cool and refreshing. 

"So, where are we going for this happy hour?" you ask, trying to lighten the mood.

Joshua chuckles, his eyes bright with excitement. "I thought we could try that new restaurant around the corner. I've heard good things."

You nod, feeling the tension of the week melt away. "Sounds perfect."

As you both enter the bar, the atmosphere is lively but not unpleasant. You find a cozy corner table and settle in, the soft murmur of conversation and clinking glasses creating a comfortable backdrop.

Joshua looks at you, his eyes filled with gratitude and something else that makes your heart skip a beat. "Thanks for convincing me to take a break."

You smile, raising your glass. "To more breaks and less stress."

He clinks his glass against yours, a genuine smile on his face. "To more happy hours with you."

After dinner, you find yourself sitting in the passenger seat of Joshua's car. The air is filled with a comforting silence, both of you soaking in the cozy warmth of the evening. As he pulls the car up in front of your house, you pause for a moment, your heart quickening in your chest as you struggle to gather the courage to look over at him.

Instead, you direct your gaze out the windshield, staring at the street ahead of you. The dim glow of streetlights paints the night in soft hues of orange, casting shadows on the quiet neighborhood.

"Do you want to come inside?" you ask, your voice hardly above a whisper.

Joshua turns your face toward his, his touch gentle as he lifts your chin with a soft touch. "You want me to go inside?" he enquires, his tone soft.

You nod, your gaze drawn to his mouth. "Yes."

"Then tell me," he teases, "what exactly are we going to do inside?"

You gulp, your mind racing. "We can... we can..." you stutter. You didn't have an answer on the tip of your tongue.

Joshua leans in close to you, his smile growing wider as he whispers against your skin, "I'm going to come inside, but go easy on me," he says, his breath warm and sultry, "I'm not quite recovered yet."

You shiver at his words. "What do you mean?" you ask, your voice still low and quiet as you look up at him.

"What do you think I mean?" he replies with a smirk, his eyes glinting in the dim light. "I mean," he murmurs, his mouth brushing against your ear as he speaks, "that you might have to take it slow with me."

"Slow? How slow?" You're whispering, not because you're afraid of being loud, it's because you're so horny that your voice is strained. 

Joshua's lips curve into a smirk as he sees the effect he's having on you. 

"Slow," he whispers back, his voice low and seductive. "Slow to the point where you feel yourself starting to drip."

He closes the gap between you, his lips hovering just millimeters from yours as his hands slide up your hips.

"Are you sure you want me to come inside?" he asks, his mouth so close to yours that you can feel the heat of his breath on your skin.

Your mind could only focus on the two last words. Mind foggy. "Come inside?" 

Joshua widens his eyes slightly, then a cocky smile spreads across his face as he registers the double meaning of your words. "Hmm look at you, how nasty... I guess we can do this too..."

His lips crash against yours, no longer gentle but filled with urgency. His tongue delves into your mouth, exploring, tasting. You gasp, the wet noises so sultry inside his sleek car. His hands unclasp your seatbelt, and one slide from your knee to your thigh, slipping under your pencil skirt to feel the lacy panties you wore.

"Slowly, like this," he murmurs against your mouth, his voice too sultry.

His hand moves to the front of your panties, and you instinctively raise your hips as he pulls them down, discarding them onto the car's floor. The air inside the car starts to feel foggy, just like your senses, and your breathing becomes more rapid.

Joshua's hand returns to your now bare skin, his fingers teasing and exploring the wet folds of your pussy. You moan softly into his mouth, your body reacting to every touch. And slow, just like he said, he starts to circle your clit with his finger, making you instantly melt against the seat as you spread your legs wider for him.

He pulls back slightly, his eyes dark and intense, filled with fascination as he watches your reactions. Your mouth can't correspond to the wet kisses anymore, your hips roll against his hand, your legs spasm as you try to keep them open, and your skirt rises, revealing your sopping cunt glistening.

You find yourself pushed back against the seat, your body arching as you grow more desperate for him. His eyes never leave yours.

“I can feel how much you want this.” 

You can only nod, your breath coming in ragged gasps as his fingers speed on your swollen bud. 

“So open, so needy.” he murmurs making you feel that sharp stitch in your belly一your horniness growing. 

His words make you moan, and he chuckles, his voice filled with a gloomy promise. “I want to hear more of that,” he says, his fingers teasing your entrance before slipping inside. You cry out, your body responding instantly to his touch, your head thrown back.

“Joshua,” you gasp, your hands clutching at his shirt as you try to ground yourself.

He leans in closer, his breath hot against your neck. “Yes, Y/N? Tell me what you need.”

“More,” you manage to say, your voice trembling, “I need more.”

He pulls back slightly, his eyes meeting yours with a fiery intensity. “More? I can give you more.”

With that, he increases the pace, his fingers moving inside you making the squelching wet songs, louder. He watches you so closely that you feel embarrassed; it is as if he reads everything about you and knows every secret you keep.  

“Every little touch, every little tease… you’re soaking it all up.” He coos, and you feel your orgasm getting closer and closer. 

You can only whimper in response, your body trembling with the need for release. He leans in, his lips capturing yours in a searing kiss. The taste of him, the feel of him, it’s all too much, and you can sense that you are nearing collapse.

“Cum for me, sweetheart,” he whispers against your lips. “Let go.”

His words are your undoing. With a cry, you shatter, your body convulsing against his leather seat. Joshua holds you through it, his touch possessive, trying to keep you still so you can feel the waves better. As you come down from the high, you find yourself panting, your body still trembling non-stop.

His fingers are soaked, glistening in the pale light. With a teasing grin, Joshua brings them to his mouth, sucking them clean with a satisfied pop. You immediately turn your face to the window, your cheeks burning with embarrassment as you try to straighten your skirt. His chuckle fills the car, rich and warm.

“Shy now, are we?” he teases, his voice low and playful.

You can’t bring yourself to look at him, your hands fumbling with the fabric of your skirt. But Joshua isn’t done with you yet. He leans in, his breath hot against your ear as he whispers, “We can resume this inside. What do you think?”

You nod, finally daring to meet his gaze. He gives you a quick peck on the lips before stepping out of the car. You watch him circle around to your side, suppressing a laugh when he catches the glimpse of your knees trembling as you exit the vehicle.

“Did you get this horny?” he can't hide the amusement in his voice.

The walk to your front door feels like an eternity, your fingers fumbling with the keys as Joshua’s need becomes more apparent. He’s pressing his bulge against you, his hands roaming over your body as he kisses your neck, making it hard to focus on unlocking the door.

Finally, the door swings open, and you grab Joshua by the collar of his white shirt, pulling him inside. Your mouths collide in a desperate kiss, his hands clutching your hips as you stumble toward the bedroom. You don’t care about the noise or the awkward angles; all that matters is the friction among you, the urgent need to be closer.

With outstretched arms, you brace yourself against the wall, your body arching toward his as he presses against you. His hands are everywhere—sliding under your blouse, unhooking your bra, teasing the sensitive skin beneath. You moan into his mouth, your hands clutching at his hair while you're absorbed by the feeling.

“Bedroom,” you manage to gasp, your voice breathless and needy.

Joshua’s response is a low growl, his hands gripping your waist as he guides you through the hallway. You barely make it to the bed before you’re pulling at each other’s clothes, the fabric tearing in your haste to be free of it. His shirt falls to the floor, followed by your skirt, his pants, your blouse—until there’s nothing between you but skin and heat.

He pushes you gently onto the bed, his body covering yours as he kisses you sloppy. His hands continue their search, teasing, caressing, making you frantic with need. You arch against him, your fingers digging into his back as you pull him closer.

His cock lays heavily against your belly, a warm, wet spot forming on your skin from his precum. You grab his throbbing length, feeling it pulse under your touch. Joshua shudders, moaning needily against your mouth, the sound vibrating through you and adding to your own arousal.

Your hand collects the sticky lubrication, spreading it along its entire length. You begin to stroke him, your other hand tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. His eyes flutter open, trying to stay locked on yours as you speed up your strokes. His gasps and whimpers alimented your hunger, making you feel yourself oozing more and more.

At a certain point, he lets out a high-pitched squeak, hiding his face in your neck. "I need to be inside you," he says, his voice strained and desperate.

You close your eyes, the heat of his breath on your skin sending shivers down your spine. "Open this drawer," you murmur, nodding towards the bedside table.

Joshua extends his arm, fumbling slightly as he opens the drawer and finds a couple of condoms. He picks one up, glancing at you with a teasing smile. "Always prepared, huh?" he says, tearing open the shiny packet.

His hands move with such practiced ease that it makes your breath catch when you watch him slide the rubber down his length. His cock looks even more inviting now, sheathed and ready for you.

He positions himself at your entrance, pausing for a moment to look into your eyes. Slowly, he pushes inside, filling you inch by inch. You gasp at the sensation, your pussy stretching to accommodate him. Joshua’s groan is deep and throaty, his hands gripping your hips as he bottoms out.

For a moment, neither of you moves, so you adjust to his side, but thankfully his fingers prepared you well in his car. Then, he begins to thrust, his pace is slow at first, his eyes locked on yours, watching every reaction, his ears alert to your every moan, and every wet sound from your stretched little cunt.

You arch your back, meeting his thrusts, your hands clutching his shoulders. “Faster, Joshua,” 

He complies, his pace quickening, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps. The room is filled with the sex sounds—the slap of skin against skin, the mingled moans and gasps, the creaking of the bed. You feel yourself climbing higher, the knot on your belly desperately wanting to blossom.

Joshua’s rhythm falters for a moment, his grip on your hips tightening. “I’m close,” he whispers, his voice strained.

“Me too,” you reply, your nails digging into his back.

Joshua takes his cock out of you, positioning himself a little further back before slamming all the way in again. The sudden movement makes you grab his forearm, while his other hand lays on your belly. Each thrust is powerful, hitting that perfect, spongy spot inside you that makes you sob with pleasure. You grow tighter around him with every second, the stimulation driving you both wild.

"You're perfect," he murmurs, his voice thick with desire.

"Am I?" you manage to gasp between his thrusts.

"Absolutely," he praises, his words going straight to your core. "You're so tight, so wet. You're perfect for me."

The praise sends a jolt of pleasure through you, making you arch your back and cum for him. Joshua smiles at the sight of you unraveling beneath him—Your legs try to close instinctively, but his hips keep them wide apart. Your eyes roll back, your pussy gushing as your fingers curl around the headboard.

He finds your clit with his thumb, rubbing it just as your orgasm peaks. It shatters you, making you curse.

"Fuck, Joshua! You're so deep... don't stop... please, don't stop. God, you're going to make me cum again."

"You're so fucking tight," he groans, his pace quickening. "I can feel you squeezing me. You're gonna make me cum so hard."

"Keep cumming for me, baby," he whispers, his own voice shaking.

His moans grow louder, his pace more frantic. Your dirty talk pushes him to the brink, and with a final, powerful thrust, he cums hard. His loud moaning, combined with the sensation of his cum filling the condom, makes your head spin.

Joshua leaves you shaking for the second time that evening, fully exhausted and completely satisfied.

Joshua falls on his side beside you, his breaths coming hard and fast. You can't help but tease him, a smirk playing on your lips.

"Are you going to faint here too? Should I call an ambulance? After all, you weren’t as slow as you said you would be."

He laughs, his chest heaving. "I’ve got enough energy to fuck you all night if you want to, leave your bed all drenched," he says, kissing your cheek and playfully slapping your clit, making you shudder.

"All night, huh?" you tease back, your fingers tracing lazy circles on his chest. "Big talk for someone who just collapsed next to me."

Joshua grins, his eyes sparkling. "You doubt me?"

"I’m just saying," you reply, your tone playful. "Maybe you should pace yourself. I wouldn’t want you passing out on me."

He leans in, his lips brushing against your ear. "I’m not going anywhere. And if you think that was all I’ve got, you’re in for a surprise."

You chuckle, your fingers dancing down his stomach. "Promises, promises," you whisper, your hand inching closer to his now half-hard cock. "Let’s see if you can keep up."

Joshua groans, his body responding to your touch. "You’re going to regret challenging me," he murmurs.

"Bring it on," you whisper back.

[aphroditelovesu]

Hello. Can you write yandere husband Jaehaerys i Targaryen ?

❝ 🔥 — lady l: I got a little carried away, I'm not going to lie. I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! 💚

❝tw: none, just fluff and soft!yandere.

❝🔥pairing: yandere!jaehaerys i targaryen x female!reader.

Jaehaerys married you before he became King. He had known you for a long time and your house was noble enough that he could marry you without any problems or many complaints and he did so as soon as you were both old enough to do so. He couldn't wait any longer to have you for himself.

Normally he should marry his sister, but he didn't want to. He wanted you. You had known each other since childhood and Jaehaerys knew that he could not marry any other woman but you. Not when he already loved you from that time. And you were perfect for him, not only was your lineage noble and good but you were good for him.

Jaehaerys had made all the right preparations. He had checked your background and was always meticulous about you. He loved you, but he would be King one day and he needed to be careful about his marriage and his future Queen.

He wanted to establish a bond with you, something emotional so that your marriage didn't depend solely on politics. Jaehaerys used to send you letters, telling you stories about the Targaryens and about him. And in return, you were give him letters about yourself and stories that you read in books.

Once the arrangements were made, he was very satisfied. You could become his wife and he your husband. He was eager for you to officially become his. He couldn't wait to start having children with you.

The wedding was grand, as expected of a future King and you looked absolutely stunning. As a future Queen should be.

Handmade, your dress was made with lush fabrics and intricate details, it exuded an aura of romance and tradition. Delicate embroidery adorned your bodice, reminiscent of the patience and skill of dedicated artisans. Your skirt flowed like a dream, with layers of tulle and lace that danced in the wind, while your train dragged along the floor, leaving a trail of stories of eternal love wherever you went.

The wedding night had been good and pleasant for both parties. Jaehaerys delighted in taking you as his wife, in touching you and giving you pleasure while also hoping to impregnate you. The way his kisses were sweet and his fingers touched you left you breathless.

The marriage with Jaehaerys was pleasant and you learned to love your husband despite his possessive and protective behavior. You assumed this was how a husband who loved his wife was supposed to behave, so you didn't mind. You were happy and your husband seemed perfect.

So kind and passionate, there wasn't a day that went by where he wasn't looking at you with heart eyes, his purple eyes sparkling when you caught him looking at you. He loved it even more when your face was red, not knowing what to do with the looks of your husband. So innocent and so his.

You were spoiled and pampered to no end, he doesn't have any kind of financial care to spoil you, you were his wife, nothing more fair than fulfilling all your desires and whims. Everyone must obey your orders without blinking or they will have to deal with Jaehaerys.

Once he became King and you officially received the title Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, you played a large role in his politics. You presided over his council and gave your opinion, to the chagrin of some lords and the delight of your husband who trusted you completely.

You were not only his wife, someone who was only supposed to bear him children, but also an advisor, a Queen, valued by Jaehaerys, collaborating with him in matters of state and being a shrewd mind behind the important decisions of the realm.

Jaehaerys showed his affection in subtle ways sometimes, such as leaving little surprises for you at unexpected times, like flowers in your chambers or gifts made especially for you, showing his affection in subtle and discreet ways.

You took time to travel together, exploring the lands of the Seven Kingdoms, strengthening your bond not only with each other, but with the other Lords, and creating precious memories outside of royal compromises.

Jaeherys was your perfect husband, he put you above everything else and did whatever you wanted. He loves you deeply and just wants you to be happy. He trusts you like no one else and you have all the power over him. Even more so when you get pregnant with your first child.

You have the King on his knees for you whenever you want. He is yours and you are his. He was always yours.

[sa1808fi]

Emmetstyle and their ways of showing love

Emmet is very big on dishing out his affection for others. He hasn't had anyone in his life care enough to stick around for long, so he's going to be the first one in his and Lucy's relationship to say 'I love you' to her.

Compared to Lucy, he's a very open person, finding it easy to show his appreciation and love for his friends through his words, actions, and gifts. So obviously he would have no problem showering his special best friend cough girlfriend cough with all the love he has.

He's going to tell her he loves her whenever he can. She helps him with the chores? Love gushing out of him. They go out on a 'best friend' excursion? Hugs everywhere. He is constantly wiggling with happiness when he's around Lucy.

Lucy on the other hand tends to deny her affection for others if she thinks it'll make her look weak and less tough (She was fine showing her 'affection to Batman because he's a super cool and tough superhero), therefore ruining the persona she's built herself around.

Though she does soften up around Emmet whenever they're alone. It takes her a long time to finally say the 'L' word to Emmet. Other than ruining her reputation, Lucy is also scared to admit her love for Emmet, because the last time she loved something with a passion and dedicated her life to it, it was warped into a cruel method to brainwash people.

After the second movie, seeing how hateful Rex became because he believed that his friends never loved him, Lucy became more determined to show her special best friend how much she really loves him.

During the rebuilding after armageddon, she does a lot of seemingly little things (but are monumental to Emmet) to show her love. She starts to hold hands with Emmet in public, defends him fiercely against hateful comments, and starts to gift him small things that she think's he'll like.

Even after all this, She still doesn't think it's enough. Because there's a difference between knowing someone loves you and knowing they love you. So, Lucy gets the others to help her come up with a plan to show their appreciation for Emmet (Since I like to think he's one of the people working overtime to fix all the destruction (Y'know... out of guilt and all)), and it ends up as this giant party with everyone to celebrate the rebuilding efforts.

Towards the end, she has this whole speech (I'm not going to go too in detail), and she ends it with finally saying the three magic words that she could never bring herself to say.

If we go over to dangerstyle in Rex's timeline, then it's going to be flipped. They swapped roles in the way they show affection.

Lucy is a lot more vocal than she used to be when she shows her love. This is mostly born out of her fear that the people she loves might end up disappearing and dying without ever truly knowing how much she cares about them .

In her eyes, she never fully reciprocated Emmets love before he disappeared. She never got the chance to finally tell him the three words that always got stuck in her throat.

Emmet died trying to save someone that Lucy believes never treasured him as much as she should have. And that guilt weighs down on her every single day.

Going onto reunion AUs where there's the big 'happy' reunion and reconciliation, have no doubt, Lucy is 100% going to try and drown Rex with the love she never showed when he was Emmet.

She doesn't do it immediately because they can all tell that Rex needs to adjust a bit. But after he's a bit more okay with being around them, he's going to get slapped in the face with all the care they're treating him with.

Lucy does say it as a way to thank him for things like how he used to do for her, but she also does it whenever he's going through one of those bad days. Where the memories become overwhelming and he just needs that little bit of reassurance that they do actually care.

Rex is a lot more reluctant to share his affection with others compared to his past self. Or at least, he does it more privately and can come off as a bit of an asshole. The reason is basically the same as how Lucy didn't want to ruin her tough persona.

He's one of those characters that at first glance seems like a jackass- and he is, there's no doubt about that. But after a while the closer you get, you can't help but become fond of him. He's sweet in like a loveable asshole kind of way.

There's also the fact that his whole personality is built upon the trauma he endured in Undar, so any shred of Emmet that he has is buried really deep down.

Occasionally, if he's comfortable enough, Rex will end up slipping back into Emmet's habits in front of people. But whenever he does, he just ends up freezing up and backtracking, pulling away and avoiding everyone for the rest of the day as he goes to hide and sulk.

When it comes to actually saying 'I love you' again, well... it's gonna take a really long time for him to feel safe or confident enough to do it again. Rex is going to need to get so much therapy and validation from Lucy and the others.

Compared to when Lucy finally says the three big words, the way Rex finally does it again isn't dramatic, it isn't one big planned-out party with all their friends together and celebrating.

The way he finally says them again is early in the morning, with both of them wrapped in blankets, cuddling on the sofa, the TV playing some show in the background. Lucy will slowly detach herself from the arms firmly wrapped around her, careful to not wake up the dozing raptor trainer. But Rex still feels the slow change in environment so he whines softly, trying to preserve the warmth that's moving away from him.

It's in this moment when Lucy softly draws him back to sleep that he mutters a small 'love you' before falling into unconsciousness again.

(She cries in the kitchen)

(Rex doesn't even know he said that)

MMMMMMM, parallels

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 50:

All along there was some Invisible String tying you to me

Masterlist - Previous - Next

Charles POV:

I listened to Lizzie talking about her latest meeting with Susie, how they defined her role in the F1 Academy, what her tasks were from now on and I couldn't be more proud of her. She was passionate, dedicated, willing to put her heart and soul into the Academy.

"… for now Susie thinks what the girls need is some kind of mentor, someone who has been in their shoes and she said that I would be the perfect person for that. I would check in on the girls, make sure they're in the right head space, offer advice. But Susie thinks on race weekends we should establish kind of a workshop day? Debrief the latest race, show some deficits, maybe figure out ways too improve certain aspects!" her voice was filled with positivity and optimism, her eyes shining like never before.

"That sounds amazing cara mia. I think the girls are really lucky to have a mentor like you by their side." I replied and she nodded, a big smile adorning her beautiful face.

"How's it going in Maranello? How's Lewis settling in?" she asked, disappearing out of the picture for a moment.

"It's going great, I think our car development made a big step forwards compared to last season… and with Lewis' input? God he's so experienced! He knows things about the car, even some of the junior engineers didn't know! I honestly think with Lewis we can not just win the driver's championship, but also the constructors this season!"

"I'm so happy for you, Charles. I always said, getting rid of Seb back in 2021 was the biggest mistake Ferrari made. He could've helped develop the car, help you to get a new understanding and knowledge of it. Mattia really messed up a lot of things for you..." she mumbled, still out of frame.

"What are you doing?" I asked and her head plopped up from above.

"Wedding stuff..." she wiggled her eyebrows and I smiled.

"Are you... are you wearing your dress? Wait? You've picked out a dress already? How? When?" I rambled and she laughed. but then returned to her seat, still wearing my sweater and held up our invitations "Cara mia... I thought we already sent those out weeks ago?" I pointed to the invitations in her hands.

"That were the save the date cards." Lizzie rolled her eyes.

"What the hell are save the date cards?"

"When you don't have all the details planned out like location and time frame, but want people to save the date... that way you're not under pressure with these important details but know that all the people you want to attend already sa-..."

" ...saved the date, got it. And now we have all the details?"

"I though so? You liked the venue? Or not? Charles it's perfect, but if you don't like it, then I'll call Celiné..." she began but I shook my head.

"Relax, cara mia! I love the venue! It really is perfect, and I can't wait to get married there! Sorry!" I said, smiling at her sheepishly "Did you go over the guest list?"

"Yup... it's a lot of people..." she sighed, and I leaned back.

"It's our families and friends, also the most important people from our teams, some of the drivers, the ones we're close with... so... yeah. How many guest as of now?"

"107... or wait... 110..." she wrote something down and I cocked an eyebrow "I want to invite Susie as well! She was really helpful over the past years and now that I work with her? And when I invite her, we have to invite Toto and Jack as well... I hope that's okay?"

"Of course! Its already more guest from me... so please, go ahead and make it equal.." I chuckled but she shook her head.

"No... that's already way more guests then intended..." her eyes glimmering mischievous.

"You hope that a lot of people will politely respond with a I'm sorry, we can't make it..." I smirked and she nodded slightly.

"Am I a bad person? It's just... god, that's so many people!" she said sheepishly and I laughed.

"It's okay, really... I know it's a lot of people, but it will be fine, okay?"

"Okay..." she huffed out, her phone being smacked down

"Arlo! Stop! I know you heard his voice but stop..." Lizzie propped up the phone again and Arlo was mostly covering her up "He wanted to say hi..."

"Hey baby boy... I miss you so much!" I cooed and he tilted his head, barking quietly "I'll be back on Friday, I promise!" he whined a little, licked the phone and then strut off, Lizzie only shaking her head.

"You'll be back by Friday?" she asked, and I nodded.

"Yep. Tomorrow's the car launch, on Wednesday we have a virtual fan meet and greet and on Thursday I'll be in the simulator the whole day... I wouldn't miss Valentine's Day!"

"What?" her eyes got wide, and she swallowed hard.

"Valentines Day cara mia... Friday..." I tilted my head a little and she smiled nervously "Did you forget?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Because if so, that would be fine, you're planning our wedding, work with Susie, take care of Arlo... it's a lot!"

"Hmm... okay..." she whispered, looking to the left.

"Lizzie? It's no big deal, okay? Really!" I tried to reassure her, and she nodded slowly.

"Okay... you have to go now, Charlie. You said you only have a couple of minutes... we're almost talking for an hour now..

"I can't help it, time flies when I talk with the love of my life..." I chuckled and Lizzie blushed a little "I'll call you tonight, pretty girl, I love you."

"I love you more..." she replied and hung up.

I sent her a quick text, stating that I, in fact, loved her more when Lewis walked in.

"Look at you, smiling from ear to ear... tell Lizzie I say hi..." he said and sat down on the other side of the table.

"Will do... but she won't reply, so she'll say hi back later." I pocketed my phone and he looked up from his.

"Trouble in paradise?" he asked and I laughed.

"No, the opposite actually... we have a little dispute about something, to be continued.

"Toto told me that Susie is really excited having Lizzie work with her." he said and I had to smile.

"You should've heard Lizzie. She's going to pour her heart and soul into the F1 Academy."

"The girls really are lucky, they will learn so much from Lizzie..."

"They will.." I replied right when Silvia walked in with the rest of the media and PR team.

"Gentlemen, ready?" she clapped once and sat down "Let's go over the schedules for the next two days..." I couldn't wait to go back home.

I unlocked the door quietly, closing it carefully and slipped off my shoes. The penthouse was quiet, no sound, nothing. I showered quickly in one of the guest bedroom’s ensuites, slipped on some clean sweat pants and a shirt before I quietly opened up our bedroom door. Arlo lifted his head immediately, wagging his tail when he saw me, jumping off of the bed’s end.

"Hey big boy." I kneeled down, engulfing him in a hug, stroking his sides "Shhh… we don’t want to wake up Lizzie, no?" I whispered and got up, slipping into the bed behind Lizzie, Arlo looking at me "Get in… we definitely have to talk about how you always sleep in my bed when I’m gone. That’s my bed." I chuckled and he made himself comfortable at the foot of the bed.

Lizzie began to stir, turning around, facing me.

"Charles?" she whispered, eyes still closed "What time is it?"

"Way too early to be awake…" I yawned and she scooted over closer, snuggling into my chest.

"I missed you…"

"I missed you too, but at least you had someone sharing the bed with you… I was alone…"

"You want to share the bed with someone else?" she pouted and I had to chuckle, pecking her lips.

"Only with the most beautiful girl in the world… and our fur baby… who has a super comfy bed and still sleeps in ours…"

"Just when you’re gone… I don’t like… sleeping alone…" her voice sleepy.

"I’m here now, cara mia, let’ sleep for a little or not so little while…" I kissed her forehead and she already fell asleep "I love you more."

I closed my eyes and pulled Lizzie closer, feeling her hot breath against my neck.

"No. I love you more." she mumbled against my chest and I chuckled to myself.

Even asleep she was the most stubborn girl ever. Arlo cuddled up against our feet and I fell asleep almost immediately.

I watched Lizzie dance around the kitchen, a soft smile on her lips, headphones on, singing along to Taylor Swift as usual. Her voice as beautiful as ever. After a couple of minutes Arlo trotted into the kitchen, brushing her legs and made her flinch.

"Fucking hell, you scared me…" she put her hand on her chest, turning around "How long have you been back?"

"10 minutes maybe?" I walked in, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her in "I enjoyed the show."

"What show? Me ruining Taylor’s songs?" Lizzie chuckled, looking away but I gently grabbed her chin, looking at her.

"How often do I have to tell you that you have a beautiful voice?"

"Until it’s the truth?"

"I would never lie to you, cara mia." I said pointedly and she rolled her eyes "Hey!"

"Okay, okay…" she pecked my lips and then pulled away, bending down booping Arlos nose "Are you hungry my big boy?"

"Yeah, I could eat…" I replied, knowing full well that she didn’t talk to me "I get his food."

"Alright. I’ll finish the cake. Shima is coming tomorrow so I thought I’ll make a cake."

"So Shima gets a cake? And what do I get?" I pouted a little.

"Umm-… I thought we could order from Antonio’s? I called if they have a table for us but they’re fully booked! I’m sorry… I- I did forget that today’s Valentine’s Day and so I didn’t make any reservations and when you reminded me it was already too late…" Lizzie rambled and I sat down Arlo’s bowl and then cupped her cheeks.

"It’s okay! I told you already that it’s fine! You have so much going on right now! And hey, I don’t mind staying in tonight. Ordering food. Watching a movie. Just you and me."

"And Arlo." she whispered and I laughed.

"And Arlo." I kissed her forehead and hugged her "I’d say I take a shower, you order something and then we’ll have a quiet Valentine’s Day."

"Okay…"

I pulled away and left to take sad shower, putting on some sweatpants and a t-shirt, walking back into the now empty kitchen.

"Cara mia?" I called after her but got no answer "Lizzie are you upstairs?" I walked up the stairs and stopped abruptly when I stepped into the living room.

Hundreds of candles were lit up, the sofas pushed together. The created space littered with plush pillows and cozy blankets. The table on the side full of my favourite food, pasta, pizza, Calabrese salad, Lizzie’s red velvet cupcakes. Bowls of chips, crackers and popcorn. Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone ready to be watched on the big screen.

"Wha-…"

"Happy Valentine’s Day." Lizzie stepped around the corner, wearing a gorgeous black nightgown, hugging her curves perfectly.

"Cara mia…" I whispered and pulled her into me "Wow… this… you… wow…"

"You like it?" she smiled shyly and I kissed her, pulling her even closer "I guess that’s a yes then?"

"I love it. I love you. This is-… it’s perfect, Lizzie. Just like you." I kissed her again and when I pulled away her cheeks were red.

"Come on, before the food gets cold…" she said and nodded towards the food.

"Did you plan this all along?"

"Honestly? No. I did forget that today was Valentine’s Day… but then I had a couple of days to think about something… and that’s what I came up with." she loaded our plates with the food.

"You’re amazing. This makes my gift look like nothing…" I sighed a little but she just laughed and climbed onto the sofa, getting comfortable.

"Oh this is just the beginning." she wiggled her eyebrows and I looked at her.

"Oh?"

"Mhh…" she moved a little closer, kissing my cheek "I wear something red underneath…"

"Yeah?" I swallowed hard and looked at her, her mischievous smile more than enticing.

"Ferrari red…"

"No alcohol? Like nothing? Not even a glass of champagne?" Shima looked at me and I shook my head "It's your birthday!"

"It's not good for the skin! I've read so many articles about how it helps to smoothen out the skin and make it look fresher."

"Your skin is as smooth as a baby's butt!" she rolled her eyes but then snapped her head around looking at me with wide eyes "Are you pregnant?"

"What? No! Shima, you gave me a ton of bridal magazines to read and in every second one is an article about brides that didn't drink alcohol for a year before their big day! I’m marrying in 3 months!" I said and she held up her hands.

"Okay! Sorry... jeez.." he rolled her eyes "How are your mum and Pascale holding up? Not being involved in the planning?"

"Honestly? They're totally okay with it... at first, they were a little... sad? But they're okay with it now. And Celiné is doing an amazing job. You should see the locations she had for us! The one we chose! Amazing, seriously." I beamed.

"Yeah, she did an amazing job with the designer of your dress as well. Monique Lhuillier was the perfect choice for you, and I think when the dress is ready with all the details it will look stunning. I mean just the blank canvas looked amazing on you! Your mum, Pascale, Sissy, they all cried..."

"You did too!" I pushed her a little and she laughed.

"No, that was my allergies..."

"Sure, if you say so..." I chuckled when Daniel sat down next to us.

"Ladies..." he winked at us and held up his glass "Cheers to our birthday girl, soon to be Mrs Leclerc..." he wiggled his eyebrows, and I shook my head, laughing.

"Mrs. Doetterer-Leclerc please.." I said and grabbed my glass, holding it up as well.

"Is that water? We can't toast with water? Why are you drinking water? It's your birthday!" he made big eyes "Oh my god, you're pregnant!"

"She's not, she just wants her skin to be fresh and smooth for the wedding..." Shima explained, rolling her eyes.

"And not drinking alcohol helps with that?" Daniel looked at me confused.

"Yeah, alcohol is not really the best for your skin, I mean it's not really the best for your whole body.." I sighed and he nodded.

"Well okay then... how's the wedding planning going? Charles said you’re doing an amazing job with Celeste?"

"Celiné. And yeah, she makes it so much easier for me… you know with the F1 Academy and all, it’s a little hectic but she’s really amazing at what she’s doing." I took a sip of my water, looking around the room.

"The F1 Academy will race in Australia as well?" Daniel asked and I nodded.

"Yup. Susie did an amazing job with this year’s schedule! 10 races! That’s 3 more than last season!" I replied excitedly.

"So you’ll be at all the weekends with F1 Academy races and then some more?"

"I don’t know yet. Of course there will be more to do than just attend the race weekends! I just need to talk to Susie what she expects from me and what else I can do besides the tasks we already discussed…"

"You’ll figure it out, I have no doubts!" Charles said, sitting down next to me.

"How are you doing? Starting your first season as a Formula 1 world champion?" Daniel looked at him and he shrugged his shoulders a little.

"It feels like it’s less pressure than before on the one hand, because now I already won a championship, it’s out of the way finally. But on the other hand? It’s more pressure because everyone expects me to win again straight away because well now I’m a world champion… does that make sense?" he looked at me and I nodded.

"Of course it makes sense!" I reassure him and he smiled "But don’t worry, you’ll be just great."

"Yeah I guess we’ll see…"

"How is it working with Lewis?"

"He’s incredible. He reminds me a lot of Seb, the way he approaches things, how he asks questions, wants to now every single detail…" Charles smiled.

"You think you can win the constructors as well this year?" Daniel asked and Charles shrugged his shoulders.

"Let’s see first how Australia turns out…"

"Didn’t I say, don’t worry? I saw the tests, I know you’ll do just great, so please believe me!"

"Okay, okay. It’ll be a good weekend for us."

"Lizzie? Hey, how was it?" Susie walked in, smiling at me.

"It was amazing. The girls are just great, and so eager to learn! I think I’ve never had to answer this many questions!" I closed my notebook.

"Yeah, it’s not every day they can learn from a Formula 1 Grand Prix winner, you know?"

"We should change that. We should get the teams more involved. Maybe some Q&A’s with some of the drivers…" I suggested, checking the time.

"Sounds like a good idea, we should definitely think about it, but for now, go." she chuckled and I looked at her "You checked your watch at least 5 times in the last 2 minutes… the race is about to start… go…"

"Thanks Susie!" I got up, packing my bag and sprinting towards the Ferrari garage.

"There you are! I thought you wouldn’t come!" Andrea said and I tried to catch my breath "He’s a little nervous, you know…"

"Why?" I looked around, searching for Charles.

"He said after Friday wasn’t the best and he only got P2… you know him…"

"Yeah…" I sighed, spotting Charles in the corner, reading in his notebook, as if he could feel my eyes on him he looked up, an anxious smile on his lips.

"Hey you…" he whispered as soon as I was close enough for him to pull me into a hug.

"Hey yourself… what’s going on. Why so anxious?" I rubbed his back, feeling his muscles relax under my touch.

"I don’t know. Friday didn’t start out the way we wanted to, yesterday wasn’t much better, I only had one good lap… Max is in front and the RedBull is a rocket ship again…"

"Yeah and the Ferrari isn’t too bad either… come on! You can do this!" I kissed his cheek "And if you win, there’s a special prize waiting for you in the hotel…"

"Oh yeah? But what if I don’t win?" he looked at me and I winked.

"Then there’s a consolation prize waiting for you…"

"Damn, so either way I’m a winner at the end of the night?" he chuckled "Thanks… for cheering me up."

"That’s my job as WAG, no? Although… what am I now? I’m not yet a wife, but also no girlfriend anymore? They need to change the abbreviation! It’s WAFAG from now on… justice for all the fiancées out there!"

He pulled me in, pressing his lips onto mine and I melted into him.

"Just another reason why I love you so much…" Charles whispered against my lips and I looked at him confused "You always know how to cheer me up…"

"I’ve learned from the best." I replied, ruffling his hair a little "And now go. You have a race to win."

"I’ll try my best." one last kiss and he was gone, off to win the race in the last corner, overtaking Max in a breathtaking move.

I cheered for him from underneath the podium, Andrea next to me.

"Whatever you said to him, it worked, maybe you’re his lucky charm this season? You should stay close…" he laughed and I smiled.

"Maybe I should… or at least try to…"

"Charlie!" Liam jumped up from the sofa, Arlo on his heels, both running towards him. His face lit up immediately and I paused the movie, watching how he engulfed first Liam and then Arlo in a big hug.

"Are you watching Ice Age with us?" Liam asked and Charles smiled, ruffling his hair.

"Let me take a quick shower and then I'll join, okay?"

"Okay." Liam trotted back to the sofa, Arlo following him, and both made themselves comfortable.

"I'll make some fresh popcorn, okay?" I got up and walked downstairs "I don't get a hug?" I hugged Charles from behind, as he stood at the kitchen island, drinking a glass of water.

"I'm sorry, cara mia..." he sighed and turned around pulling me close "Hi, pretty girl." he kissed the side of my head and I melted into his touch.

"How are you?" I played with his hair at the nape of his neck, and felt him tense up a little.

"I threw away such a good weekend." he mumbled, his warm breath tickling my shoulder "I wanted to extend the lead to Max...

"You weren't the only one with track limits, come on! Almost everyone got them... even Max."

"Yeah, but I screwed up in the last lap! I would've won if I just took that last corner dif-... no, you know what? It's like that. I can't change it now..." Charles pulled away and cupped my cheeks "I'm home now, and I want to enjoy my time here..."

"Are you sure? You know you can vent if you need to?" I looked at him and he nodded.

"I'm sure. It was my own fault, I'll have to do better in Miami.

For now, I can't change it. But I have one week now to enjoy with you, our family and also see what you've planned already..." he kissed my forehead and I smiled at him.

"Alright, I'm making popcorn, you'll take a shower and later on we're having pizza, how does that sound?"

"Like music to my ears..." he chuckled, but then pulled me back by my wrist "Wait... are you okay? You said you didn't feel that good for a couple of days?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. It was just a little cold with a stomach bug. Nothing too bad. Also nothing a good soup and some hot tea didn't cure..." I replied and he nodded.

"Hmm... I'm sorry that I wasn't here..."

"Okay, stop now. You have a job and I can take care of myself." I looked at him pointedly.

"You're good now?" he asked and I smiled, nodding.

"Just a tiny bit tired and exhausted, nothing bad at all..." I reassured him "Now go take that shower, I make some snacks."

I prepared the popcorn, cut some fruits and vegetables and walked back upstairs where Charles already sat on the sofa, Liam and Arlo next to him. All 3 watching the screen with big eyes.

"Hey! Did you continue without me?" I pouted and Liam giggled.

"It was Charlie... he saw the dinosaur and wanted to watch!" he said, and Charles looked at him.

"Did you just rat me out?" he began tickling him, Arlo jumping happily between them "No! Help me Arlo! Not him!" I laughed and put down the trey with our snacks, sitting down next to Charles.

"Sorry, cara mia... but dinosaurs!" he said, and I kissed his cheek.

"It's okay, I didn't expect anything else from my 3 little boys."

"Hey!" Charles and Liam said and looked at me.

"Who are you calling little?"

"Who are you calling a boy?"

I chuckled and leaned back, snuggling into Charles continuing to watch the movie. When the credits rolled, he looked at me, an adorably confused look on his face.

"What?" I asked and he scratched his chin, looking at me.

"What was the whole peaches thing?"

"What do you mean?"

"When the girl mammoth was having the baby, or rather felt like she's going to have the baby, she said peaches. And then Manny knew that she was having the baby? Like... how? Is that a code for having a baby?" he tilted his head, and I threw my head back laughing "Stop laughing at me!" he pinched my side and I had to wipe away some tears.

"You think peaches is a code for when women are pregnant?"

"I don't know? Could be?"

"No, Charles, they talked about a codeword for Ellie, the girl mammoth, that when she feels that the baby is coming, she just would have to say peaches and then Manny would know in an instant what's happening." I explained.

"Ahhh yeah, okay, makes sense." Charles laughed "But it would be kinda cute, you know?... when someone is pregnant, and they would just say peaches, and everyone would know in an instant what's going on."

"That would be cute indeed." I agreed "Now I really want to have some peaches..." I laughed, grabbing some slices from the plate " ... all that talking about peaches!"

"All the peaches in the world for my pretty girl." Charles kissed me and Arlo jumped at him, pushing him away from me "Hey! Not this again, that's my fiancée! I was here first."

"Doesn't look like he cares about that." I shrugged my shoulders and Liam laughed.

"Go Arlo!" he cheered and helped him, tickling Charles.

"I surrender! You won!" he pressed out, breathing ragged and after another 30 seconds of torture Arlo and Liam stopped, letting him breathe.

"You deserve some treats, come on!" Liam got up and Arlo followed him downstairs, leaving a heavy breathing Charles and me behind.

"That was harder than the race..." he heaved, and I laughed "I swear!"

"Okay, big boy, if you say so..." I rolled my eyes and he laughed, before he pulled me into his lap "What are you doing?"

"As long as I have you all to myself..." he whispered, sealing our lips shut.

"Charles... they could come back any moment..." I breathed out, when his hand slipped under my shirt, goosebumps erupting all over my skin.

"I know..." he said, and I groaned.

"Then stop it!"

"You really want me too?"

But before I could reply we heard Liam and Arlo coming back up the stairs and Charles pushed me off of him, sighing.

"When are we having pizza?" Liam asked, oblivious to what he almost walked into.

"Yeah, cara mia, when are we having pizza?" Charles wiggled his eyebrows.

"I'm good with my peaches." I quipped and they both started to protest "Just kidding... come on boys, let’s make some pizza."

I packed my bag, watching Charles happily talking away with some of the girls, sharing his own experiences of the upcoming track.

"I spun out twice in 2023, and last year... well, lets say, I saw a lot of the 'you can't park there mate' memes with my car in the middle of the track." he chuckled, but I saw a muscle tick on his jaw, knowing that last years free practice was still a litle sore spot.

"But you still managed a podium." Maya Weug, one of the girls from the FDA, said and he nodded.

"Yeah, but it was a tough race, the track didn't really suit our car last season." he replied.

"And this year? Do you think it's better?" Bianca Bustamante from the McLaren drivers academy asked.

"I'd say we'll see tomorrow." Charles smiled at me when I looked up "Ready?"

"Yup. See you tomorrow girls." I waved at the group of drivers who stayed behind and they smiled, waving back.

"Bye Lizzie."

"See you tomorrow."

"Bye."

Charles took my hand in his, pulling me to his side.

"You’re amazing." he said and I turned my head a little.

"What do you mean?"

"The way the girls look up to you? How you encourage them? Give them advices? You’re doing an amazing job…"

I smiled, hiding my face in his shoulder and he chuckled.

"You were also great… they girls really enjoyed talking to you, I mean obviously. A Formula 1 world champion giving them some advice? Telling them about his insecurities about the upcoming track? They loved you." I said and he opened the car door for me "Thanks for coming today, really. It meant a lot for me… but also the girls."

"You know I would do everything for you!" he smiled and pecked my lips before I got inside.

"Yeah? Well… can we stop at a Chipotle’s then?" I put on my sweetest smile and he laughed.

"Chipotle’s? Really?"

"Yeah I want a burrito and a quesadilla… oh and some taco’s! Chips and dips! Gosh I’m starving? I could eat their whole menu to be honest…" I said when my stomach began to grumble a little.

"A burrito, a quesadilla some tacos and chips and dips? Someone’s hungry…" he searched for the nearest Chipotle’s and I blushed a little.

"I don’t know… in the last weeks my stomach was going crazy. I was hungry at times and could eat so much the one minute just to feel almost nauseous the next, probably because I ate too much before but yeah… maybe all of that is too much…"

"Let’s order it all and we’ll share it?" Charles suggested and I nodded, looking outside "Hey? Lizzie? What’s going on?" he squeezed my thigh and I sighed.

"It’s ridiculous, really." I mumbled but he grabbed my hand gently, pulling me a little closer.

"I’m sure it’s not… just tell me, please…" he said quietly, his thumb tracing soft circles on the back of my hand.

"The last weeks... I didn't really take care of what I ate. Like I just ate whatever I wanted to eat, or sometimes just snacked away... and- I gained some weight, and my mind was like it doesn't matter, I don't have to fit into a car anymore, I can eat what I want... but I always felt so bad because I'm kinda used to follow a strict diet? And it's somehow still ingrained in my head... I even cried because I felt like I gained too much weight?" I rambled and Charles sighed, parking the car at the side of the road, turning to look at me, cupping my cheeks.

"I want you to listen to me, okay? You eat what you want to eat. End of the story. I know you, you don't eat unhealthy stuff all the time, I mean, I've seen you eat and honestly, wouldn't you have said something, I wouldn't even notice that you're eating more? And Whatever weight you've gained? It's not visible in the slightest. You're still as beautiful and sexy and hot and stunning and gorgeous and amazing as ever. Just that there is a new glimmer in your eyes, but that's making you even more beautiful. So, you and I, we're going now to Chipotle's. We'll get you a burrito, a quesadilla, some tacos and chips and dips. And if that means that you gain a little something? So be it. Who gives a shit, because certainly I don't. I'd rather see you eat and be happy then... we know what an unhealthy relationship you once had with your body and food... so no, we don't go back there." he was so sincere that I felt myself tear up, looking down.

"And now I'm crying because of food! Again! God these last few weeks were really taken their toll on me. Between planning our wedding, the F1 Academy, trying to support you, helping Sissy getting their new appartement ready before the baby comes... my head's a mess..." I hickuped and Charles kissed the tip of my nose.

"I'm sorry for not helping you enough with the wedding... I promise after this weekend, as soon as we're at home I'm all yours. Let's make all the final decisions we've been postponing for weeks now. Let's finalise it all. I'll get the boys together and we're going to the tailor, so suits, done. I'll help Daniel assemble all the stuff for the little one, done. It'll be fine, okay?" he whispered, and his smile made warmth spread through my body, leaving a tingly feeling in its wake.

"Can't it be June already?" | sighed and he chuckled.

"I feel you... god I can't wait to see you walk down the aisle... I just know that you’ll be the most beautiful bride ever…"

"You’ll love the dress… Monique is a genius." I leaned back in the seat and Charles checked the mirror, steering the car back on the road."

"You could wear a paper bag and would look gorgeous." he chuckled and I rolled my eyes "But I know that whatever you’ve chosen, it’ll be perfect."

"It is, you’ll see…" I looked out the window, spotting our destination, a happy smile on my lips.

"And now let’s get some Chipotle for my pretty and hungry girl…"

I watched Abby lifting her trophy into the sky, clapping for her when Susie joined me.

"She's amazing. Last season she already was one of the best, but this season? She improves from race to race..." I said, turning a little, to see Abby taking a winner selfie with the little crowd behind her.

"That's because of you... you help these girls a lot and that so many people are here right now, celebrating them? That's also because of you. You're doing an amazing job, Lizzie, you can be proud of yourself... I am. Really. As someone who watched your career from the early days in karting... and before you say now something... save it." she chuckled.

"I didn't even want to say something!" I held up my hands.

"Yeah, yeah, sure..."

"Susie, Lizzie!" we turned around, and the Sky UK crew waved at us "Can we have a few minutes?" Natalie Pinkham smiled.

"Sure!" Susie looked at me and I nodded.

"Fantastic. F1 Academy, round 3 of 10. With Charles visiting the girls on Thursday we have the current world champion showing his support, the crowds that are cheering for the girls are getting bigger and bigger, what do you think is making the F1 Academy so appealing at the moment?" Natalie asked.

"Not what, but who. Since Lizzie joined us actively the interest in the F1 Academy grew immensely, everyone wants to know what a young, brilliant and talented driver, who was forced to retire unfortunately way too early, is up to. She generated a whole new following for the Academy, she's always there for the girls, they can ask her anything they want, they benefit so much from Lizzie's experience... and she brings the big names to the girls." Susie's excitement was contagious.

"I think we can all agree that we were really saddened by your unfortunate retirement. But as it seems, you've found just the right spot where you fit right in?"

"Retiring wasn't easy, and I was scared what I would do without racing, but working alongside Susie, being up close to her, see her work her magic, make the F1 Academy such a successful racing series, giving these girls an opportunity, one shey all deserve... i makes it easier to be at the track.."

"What's to come for the F1 Academy? What do you two power ladies have planned?"

"A lot... a whole lot." Susie winked and I laughed.

"There's so much more to come." I added.

"Well, we all can't wait for it. One last thing, Lizzie, how's the wedding planning going? We heard from Charles that you're the mastermind behind it?" Natalie smiled and I chuckled.

"Me? No, Celiné, our wedding planner, she's the real mastermind. I'm just trying to help her... she's doing an amazing job and the planning is going on very well. Some final details and it's done, and honestly? You have no idea how happy I am about it. A lot going on at the moment..."

"We hope for some pictures of the big day. Thanks Lizzie, Susie."

"What a day." I chuckled and we walked back towards the hospitalities, when a door to our left opened and a tangy smell filled my nostrils. I stopped dead in my tracks, supressing a gag "Oh god what are they cooking in there...

"What do you mean? Smells not too bad?" Susie laughed and I shook my head, making her stop "Are you okay?" she looked at me worriedly "You're really pale... you didn't look too peachy the whole weekend, to be honest..."

"Nice way to say that I look bad.." I chuckled but stopped immediately, feeling the bile rise in my throat.

"I'm serious. I thought it's maybe the jetlag, you told me you didn't sleep too well since we're here..." she looked around and then walked away for a moment, returning with a bottle of water "Here, drink a little..."

"Thanks." I mustered a smile and took a few sips.

"Let's get you back to Charles, in the hospitality it's cool and you can rest a little." she led me towards the Ferrari hospitality, where Charles sat outside with Lewis and Silvia, a camera team filming them.

"Must be weird seeing him in red?" I nodded towards Susie, and she smiled, a little sadness in her eyes.

"After everything Lewis has done for Mercedes, I think it was only fair for him to let him go, so that his one last big dream can come true, drive for Ferrari." she replied.

"That's true."

"But yeah, it is a little weird seeing him in red."

"I bet." I chuckled and walked up the two stairs "Thanks for dropping me off."

"You're sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, it's just a little... I don't know, my stomach is a little in shambles since I had that dodgy looking egg roll from that one food truck. Since then, I felt a little nauseous..." I said, hoping Susie would believe me.

"Okay... well, you have now a couple of weeks' time to rest a little, take care of your wedding, sleep..." she smiled and hugged me "And stay away from dodgy looking egg rolls!"

"Dodgy looking egg rolls?" Charles hugged me from behind when Susie walked off, saying hi to Lewis "When did you have a dodgy looking egg roll?"

"Yesterday, I was hungry and had the last egg rolls from the food truck in the paddock…" I lied and Charles raised his eyebrow.

"And you feel unwell since then?"

"No, my stomach is a little in shambles. That's it. I'm fine. I just need to drink some water, rest a little and all is good..." I reassured him and he studied my face "Really. Don't worry, okay? You should prepare, you have a race to win!"

"Hmm we'll see about that..." he mumbled, still looking sceptical at me.

"Stop looking at me like that. I'm fine!" I kissed his cheek and walked inside and after a moment he followed me "So, how confident are you in winning today?"

"We have good chances. It's all down to a good start." he sat down next to me, and I nodded.

"I'm sure you manage to stay ahead." I stroked his arm, trying my best to look calm, while my mind was occupied with piercing together the puzzle pieces.

The nauseousness every now and then, insomnia, being overly emotional, the weight gain, cravings for food like I never had before, feeling tired and exhausted, my brain that just won't work properly anymore.

"Lizzie?" Charles gently squeezed my thigh and I looked at him "Are you sure you're okay? You zoned out a little..."

"Yeah, yeah. Sure. I was just- I was just thinking about something for the wedding..." I lied and he smiled.

"Okay, I have to go now, see you later." he got up and kissed me, then walked outside to get ready for the race and I leaned back in my seat, taking a deep breath.

With shaky hands I took out my phone, opening the app that would be the answer. 3 missed cycles. I scrambled up, grabbing my bag and left the hospitality. I needed a test. And I needed one now. Two Uber rides and a from paranoia plagued trip to a pharmacy later, I sat on the closed lid of the toilet watching the last second of the timer ticking away, 3 tests on the sink. 3... 2... 1... one last deep breath and I got up, looking at the tests.

"Oh my god."

He won. Imola. Home race of Ferrari. The race he wanted to win so badly after Monaco and Monza. He did it. I was so proud, absently stroking my stomach. The moment we came back to Monaco I made an appointment at my doctor’s office, who just confirmed what I already knew since Miami. I was pregnant. And according to the doctor already in the 17th week. 4 months of carrying a little bean with me without knowing it. The baby was healthy, although I was concerned by the lack of a baby bump. I thought for days about how I wanted to tell Charles, but I didn’t came up with a good idea. Not until I saw the kid of one of Charles’ mechanics in the back of the garage with a Sid from Ice Age plushie. It was cheesy. And for a moment I thought about how it might take away from his moment. But then I remembered how much he wanted this, how excited he got whenever we talked about it and knew it was the right moment. I walked over to the engineered and tapped on Bryan’s shoulder.

"Bryan?" I said quietly and he turned around, smiling "Can you say something to Charles for me?"

"Umm- okay?" he looked at me a little confused and I chuckled.

"Just say peaches. That’s enough." I said and he nodded, even more confused.

"Charles? I have a message from Lizzie." he said and I put back on my headphones, walking over to the nearest screen.

"Okay?" Charles radioed back and I was excited for his reaction.

"Peaches." Bryan said and was met with silence. The only sound to be heard was the crowd, chanting at Charles going a little too wide.

"Peaches." his voice was thick with emotions and a lot of heads were turning my way.

I laughed, took the headphones off and walked outside, waiting at the side of the fence. Charles parked his car and climbed out, taking his helmet and balaclava off, throwing it at Andrea who barely caught it. He searched the crowd for me and the moment his eyes landed on me he ran, picked me up and spun us around.

"Peaches?" he asked and I nodded.

"Peaches!" I repeated and I saw the tears in his eyes, the happiness. His gorgeous dimples showing.

But the next second his eyes widened and he sat me down, cupping my cheeks, searching my face for any discomfort.

"Fuck! I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have done that!" he whispered kissing my forehead and I laughed "Are you okay?"

"Of course I am! I’m pregnant, not sick! Well not right now at least!" I chuckled and he looked at me for one moment before he kissed me, the crowd erupting around us pulled us back into reality, reminded us that we weren’t alone.

"You made me the happiest man alive, cara mia." he whispered against my lips and I smiled.

"And you made it so much harder for me to fit into my wedding dress in a month." I sighed a little and he laughed.

"I told you already, you could wear a paper bag and you would still look gorgeous. You’ll be the most beautiful girl. Just like always." he kissed my cheek as I blushed "My pretty girl. And my pretty baby." he carefully stroked the side of my almost invisible bump "Are we keeping it to ourselves? Or do you want to tell the world? Or just our family and friends?"

"If they didn’t get it after today? Let’s see how long we can keep it our cute little secret?" I said quietly and he nodded, kissing me again.

"Whatever you say… sweet mama." he winked at me and I laughed.

"Oh god no!" I pushed him away and he laughed "Go now! Celebrate with your team! I’m waiting right here for you!"

He walked towards his team but stopped abruptly and turned around, walking back and kissing me.

"Forgot something… I love you." he smiled and squeezed my waist, before he stormed over to his team, celebrating his win.

I stood at the door, looking down at the aisle that I would walk down in less than 24 hours. Although the lawn was mostly empty for now, thanks to Celiné I had a vision of how it would look on Saturday and I felt the tears gather in my eyes.

"I hate these stupid hormones." I whispered and Charles chuckled, walking up the 3 steps.

"I know…" he grabbed me by the waist, gently squeezing my sides pulling me in "But it’s also kinda cute… and the way you’re pouting is even more cute…" he kissed said pout and I had to smile.

"Lizzie?" Celiné cleared her throat and I pulled away "Umm there’s a little problem we need to deal with…"

"How bad is it?" I asked and she bit her lower lip "That bad? Okay…"

"Do you need me as well?" Charles looked at her and she shook her head "Well, I guess I leave you to it then." he kissed my cheek and walked inside.

"Okay." I followed Celiné inside to the bridal suite and she nodded to the chair "Oh it’s that bad? I need to sit down? Okay…"

"Well… it’s… umm- okay I just say it, they delivered the wrong bridesmaid dress-…"

"What? WHAT?" I got up and she held up her hands "They delivered the wrong dresses? How’s that even possible?"

"Dress. Singular. Only one dress is the wrong size. It’s the same model, but the wrong size…" Celiné said and I sat back down.

"Whose dress?"

"Mine." Sissy said, waddling inside "And- please don’t hate me, I’m not even mad about it? I don’t think that I could stand that long, this boy is on his way out and I swear it feels like he’s gonna plop out any moment." she sat down, gently stroking over her very prominent baby bump "I’m so sorry, I should’ve said something earlier, but I thought I could make it, I wanted to but this kid is part Aussie and I can feel it."

"It’s okay, really. I mean, I understand…" better than she knew "So… any ideas what to do now? Charles has 3 groomsman, I had 3 bridesmaids… now I have two and a teeny tiny dress…"

"I was thinking about Andrea and Julia, but the dress is too small, I already checked in with them."

I only listened halfheartedly to Celiné, looking outside the window where Carla got out of a car, looking around.

"I’ll be right back." I got up and walked outside, Celiné and Sissy looking confused.

Carla walked towards the guest house, where our guests would stay over the weekend and I sped up a little.

"Carla!" I called after her and she turned around, a big smile spread across her face.

"Lizzie, hi!" she hugged me and I smiled "I’m so excited to be here! Thanks again for inviting me!"

"Of course! I told you, you’re still a part of the family!" I said and she nodded slightly.

"I guess I see you then tonight? Are you really sure it’s alright for me to come? It’s only your mum’s and siblings and best friends and-…"

"And you’re like my little sister, so yes, it’s more than okay! Actually… I need you to do me a favour…"

"Sure! Anything! What’s wrong?" she said and I grabbed her hand.

"You need to come with me for a moment."

"Okay, sure, but my bags…" she began and I waved one of the staff members over.

"Hi, could you please be so kind and bring Miss Brocker’s baggage to her room? I need her." I smiled at him and he nodded.

"Of course Miss Doetterer." he took the suitcase and dress bag from Carla and left.

"Alright." I pulled her with me, inside the main house, to the bride suite where Sissy and Celiné looked at me.

"Hi Sissy." Carla smiled and leaned down, hugging her "How are you? The baby?"

"Well… it’s okay… he’s a little wilder than Liam was, but soon it’s over."

"He’s probably really excited to be a big brother soon?"

"Oh yeah, he can’t stop talking about it. Don’t worry, he'll tell you all about it himself."

"I can’t wait." Carla smiled and I opened up the dress bag.

"That’s going to fit." I said and all 3 looked at me "Yeah. Problem solved. Carla, you’re going to be the third and missing bridesmaid, it’s even out then again."

"What?" all 3 said at the same time and Carla stepped towards me.

"You can’t be serious? You- me? But… Shima with Joris, Charlotte with Lorenzo, Sissy with Arthur…" she said and I nodded "That’s not a good idea. Lizzie, just think about it?"

"Okay listen, you would’ve been a bridesmaid if this tool of a boy didn’t pull that shit! And I need a third bridesmaid. And-… Carla please save my wedding. Charles would be heartbroken if Arthur wouldn’t stand with him at the altar… and it would look so unaesthetic with only two bridesmaids and three groomsman." I pleaded, tears stinging my eyes.

"I-I don’t know… we don’t even know if the dress fits? And I don’t know if my shoes match!" Carla replied and I sighed.

"Please try it on, if it fits and it’s just some small changes that Shima could do tonight, would you do it? Please? If you really don’t want to because-… no, you’re right." I shook my head "It wasn’t fair to ask that of you. I’m sorry." I sat down, leaning back in the armchair "Maybe the photographer could use some different ankles to make it work?"

Carla looked at the dress and then at me.

"If it fits or the changes are minimal, I’ll do it. But only if it’s really okay with you. And I- Arthur’s new girlfriend is here… he should be asked as well if he’s okay." she said and so jumped up, hugging her.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!" I kissed her cheek and she chuckled "I go to Charles and explain the situation to him, then he can talk to Arthur. Shima will be here any minute and-…"

"And what am I doing?" she sad walking inside and we quickly explained to her what happened "Okay, put the dress on and we’ll see."

"You think you can do it? Get it ready in time?" Celiné asked and she laughed.

"Carla has the perfect body, don’t worry, that will be easy."

"See? No problem. 3 bridesmaids. 3 groomsmen. Or rather, 2 bridesmaids, 2 groomsmen, one maid of honour and one best man." I smiled.

"Looks like the problem is solved then?"

"Problem is solved. Wedding saved." I texted Charles and smiled to myself.

It would be fine. All would be fine.

Charles POV:

Lizzie paced nervously back and forth, the stress and exhaustion of the last weeks clearly visible in her face.

"Cara mia? Hey! It’s going to be okay, alright?" I tried to calm her down but she shook her head.

"Are you sure?" she stopped, looking at me "I’m serious? Do you really think it will be okay?" she sounded desperate "One bridesmaid down and the substitute is your brothers ex… I love Carla, I really do, and inviting her was the right thing to do and I wanted her to attend, but what was I thinking? Asking her to fill in for Sissy? And she said herself she wasn’t so sure it was a good idea and my stupid brain was persistent and said no, please, it’s fine?" her breathing became ragged.

"Cara mia, look at me. Calm down, okay? It all going to be okay, but you need to calm down… deep breath in… and out… in… and out… keep breathing… sit down, I’ll get you some water." I gently pushed her down on the bench "Deep breath in… and out… in and out… you’re doing amazing… I’ll be right back…" I walked inside, grabbed a bottle of water, one of the snack packs Celiné prepared, and walked outside, finding an empty bench "Cara mia?" I walked around the corner, Lizzie standing at the banister, looking over the lake. I put down the water and snack pack and stepped behind her, hugging her from behind.

"Can you believe it? Tomorrow at this time… I’ll have your name…" Lizzie whispered, resting her head against my shoulder.

"Lizzie Doetterer-Leclerc, my wife…" I kissed the side of her head "…mother of our gorgeous little one…" I gently cradled her tiny baby bump, well concealed by her clothes over the past weeks "I’m so excited for tomorrow… the day I’ve been waiting for for my entire life…"

"Husband and wife…" Lizzie tilted her head up, looking at me.

"Wife and husband." I leaned down, sealing our lips shut with a kiss, when the loud banging at the door made us flinch.

"I guess that’s your entourage… ready to whisk you away… or rather steal you away…" she whispered against my lips.

"Stupid traditions…" I sighed, ignoring the commotion in front of our suite "You sure you’ll be fine tonight? I can stay? We don’t have to do this…"

"I’ll survive. And I won’t be alone. The girls are coming over as you know, our mums…" she chuckled and I kissed her cheek, before kneeling down in front of her.

"Just a few more weeks and everyone will know about you, little one." I pushed Lizzie’s shirt up and kissed her belly "I can’t wait for everyone to find out about you, peaches."

"Peaches…" Lizzie whispered, gently carding through my hair when the banging on the door got louder again "As much as I want you to stay, pretty boy, go. Please. Before they knock down the door…"

"Yeah…" I got up and pulled her into me, stealing one last kiss "Good night, soon to be wife…"

"Good night, soon to be husband." she breathed out against my lips and with one last little peck I pulled away, leaving the suite, stepping right into the bunch of my groomsmen, all waiting eagerly for me.

"Ready?" Enzo asked and I took a deep breath, nodding.

"Go get him boys!" someone shouted and the world turned dark "Let the night begin…"

I stood in front of the mirror. Looking at myself. The dress, the hair, the make-up. It was all perfect. One look up and down and I turned around, looking at Sophie, the hair and make-up artist.

"Ready for the veil?" she smiled and I nodded "Alright…" she carefully put my veil on and I watched her in the mirror "You will think I say that to all my brides, but Lizzie, you are really one of the most beautiful brides I ever worked with…"

"Oh stop, you say that to all your brides…" I laughed and she gently squeezed my arm.

"Very funny. I’m serious. You have this natural glow radiating from you… truly stunning."

"Thank you, really…"

"You wanna step out and show your bridesmaids and the mums?"

"Give me a second…" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

My heart was racing. I was a little afraid of this moment. What if they didn’t like the dress, all the changes we had done to conceal my tiny baby bump. I loved the new design, that it was more flowy, more comfortable. What if they liked the original design, the one before I found out I was pregnant. I gave Sophie the thumbs up and she opened the door, stepping out in front of me.

"Ladies, here’s your bride…" she said and I stepped outside.

Silence. Big eyes. Confused faces. But it was Mum who stepped up to me, tears in her eyes, a big smile on her lips.

"Oh Lizzie, my beautiful girl. Look at you…" she said, taking my hands in hers "You look… I don’t have words…"

"Magnifique! Beautiful! Stunning!" Pascale said, standing next to Mum "Charles is the luckiest man who ever lived!"

"You are beautiful." Sissy smiled, looking at me from her seat.

The compliments wouldn’t stop and I smiled, holding up my hands.

"Okay guys you have to stop or I’m crying. And I don’t want to cry. So please enough for now!" I sniffled a little and Carla handed me a tissue box.

"But-… can I ask what happened to the original design?" Pascale asked and the rest nodded.

"I loved it. I really did. But I thought it was a little too… too tight? Around my stomach and waist area? You know I thought about what amazing food we’ll have? And this one is more flowy, I talked with Monique and told her that I want the dress to have a little more room for food, to be a little more comfortable. And that’s what she came up with… now I can actually enjoy the food at my own wedding, not feeling bloated because I ate too much!" I lied and I saw the way Mum and Pascale looked at each other.

"Okay, makes sense. I mean, it’s still the same dress no? Just a little more… flowy…" Mum said after a moment and I nodded.

"Ready for your big day?" Charlotte asked and I shook my head.

"I’m nervous and scared and gosh I hope I don’t forget my vows or trip and fall on my way down the aisle!" I rambled and Mum gently cupped my cheek.

"Hey! It’s going to be just fine. It’s Charles who is waiting for you. If you forget your vow just look at him and tell him how much and why you love him, that’s fine. And if you trip, do you really think your dad would let you fall? It’s all going to be just fine, okay?" she reassured me and I took a deep breath.

"Okay. I’m fine. I’m ready. Let’s go. Let’s get married. Let Dad get me down the aisle…" I smiled right as a knock on the door made us all look up.

"That was my sign to come in, right?" Das walked inside but stopped dead in his tracks, looking me up and down, while Mum, Pascale, Sissy, Shima, Charlotte and Carla left. "My little owl… you are… you are gorgeous." his voice wavered a little and he closed the distance between us "Look at you… you are so beautiful."

"Oh Dad stop." I said, fighting the tears "Stop making me cry."

"I’m sorry, but look at you!" he replied and I smiled a little "You look so beautiful…"

I took a deep breath and tried my best to not cry but couldn’t stop one tear from escaping.

"Don’t worry, we’ll make a little touch up as soon as we’re downstairs and before the doors are opening." Sophie said, and followed the mums and bridesmaids.

"May I?" Dad offered me his arm and we walked down "The last steps with my little girl… "

"Oh come on, dad!"

"It’s true. You’ve grown into an amazing young woman. Achieved so much already. I’m proud of you. You and Charles. I always knew, as long as it’s Charles I’m handing you off too, I’m fine with it." he chuckled a little.

"Yeah. It was always him right?" I whispered and he nodded.

"Always, little one. And now…" he stopped and Sophie did a last touch-up of my hair and make-up, nodding to Shima, who waited at the side with the other bridesmaids.

"Alright, where are the groomsmen?" she looked to the side where Lorenzo, Arthur and Joris walked out.

"We’re here." Enzo smiled and then stopped, looking at me "Lizzie, you look beautiful."

"Wow…" Arthur whispered, wiping his face instantly.

"Charles is the luckiest guy on this planet!" Joris said, a big smile on his face.

"We need to get going. I can’t cry before I even made it down the aisle, okay?" I laughed "Did you manage to sneak in my surprise for Charles?" I then whispered to Joris and he nodded "Did he see it already?"

"No, not yet…" he smiled and then followed Arthur and Lorenzo, standing next to their designated bridesmaids.

Joris whispered something into Shima’s ear, making her blush. Lorenzo kissed Charlotte, telling her how beautiful she looked. I watched Arthur, taking a deep breath and holding out his arm for Carla, she smiled nervously, but when Arthur smiled as well, it seemed like both would be fine and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in.

"Everyone ready?" Celiné opened the door, looking inside and Shima nodded "Our bride is ready too?"

"Yeah…" my voice thin and I cleared my throat "I’m ready. Let’s get married."

Charles POV:

The door opened and I watched Joris and Shima, Lorenzo and Charlotte and lastly Arthur and Carla walk down the aisle. All with the biggest smile on their faces. I was nervous, but the good kind of nervous. Excited. I couldn’t wait for Lizzie walking down the aisle. Joris, Lorenzo and Arthur stood next to, smiling and I watched how the girls took in their positions.

"Did you see her?" I whispered to Joris and he nodded.

"You hit the jackpot…" he replied and I smiled.

The music began to play and I closed my eyes, taking one last deep breath, as all the guests arose for the arrival of the bride. My bride. My Lizzie. When I opened my eyes I teared up immediately, watching Lizzie next to Juergen. She was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. She looked ethereal. Like a goddess. Her dress and veil shining bright in the warm light of the sun. But nothing could compare to the smile on her face. She was glowing. Her eyes shining. But even now I could sense her nervousness and I had to smile. Father and daughter stopped in front of me and Juergen, turned a little kissing Lizzie’s cheek, whispering something, before he turned to me, pulling me into a bear hug.

"I know there’s no better man out there for my little girl. I know you will take good care of her." he whispered and I nodded.

"I’ll protect her with my life."

"I know you will. I love you, son."

I took a deep breath, feeling even more tears gathering in my eyes when I pulled away, smiling at him.

"Love you too, Pops."

He winked at me and then gently took Lizzie’s hand, placing it in mine, then making his way to our mothers, sitting in between them.

"Hi…" Lizzie whispered and I felt the nervousness radiating off of her.

"You are so beautiful…" I kissed the back of her hand and she blushed "My beautiful goddess."

"You look gorgeous…" she smiled and I chuckled.

We both turned towards the wedding officiant who smiled at us, then opened up his book and began.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, with fond hearts and joyous spirits, let us join together to commemorate the remarkable union of Lizzie and Charles as they begin this incredible journey of matrimony today here before us… Marriage is a sacred bond of deep commitment and faith. It can be an amazing journey shared between two individuals devoted to each other, loving and supporting one another through the highs and lows that come with life's adventures. With patience and trust in your partner, marriage will provide strong foundations for all those special moments ahead."

My face almost began to hurt from smiling, and by the look on Lizzie’s face she felt the same.

"Our bride and groom have now prepared their own vows that they would like to share now with us… Lizzie."

She smiled nervously, turned towards me and I took her other hand into mine, squeezing them gently.

"Okay… I can do this…" she whispered to herself and I smiled. She took one last deep breath and closed her eyes and when she opened them again they were so full of love, if almost made my heart burst "Charles, our story began on a karting track 19 years ago and since then there was not a single day where I haven't thought of you at least once. We've been through good times, bad times, even the worst of times, but with you by my side, even the worst of times were bearable. Today I stand before you, ready to start the biggest adventure of our lives. I know it will be hard sometimes, some days will take a lot of work. But I also know that there will be days filled with love, laughter, and pure bliss. I can't imagine sharing this adventure with anyone else but you. You're my best friend, the love of my life, and my soulmate. Today I promise to stand by your side and to love you always. And when one day death do us part, | promise you, l'll find you in every other lifetime. I once called you a magnetic force and today, I take you, this magnetic force of a man, to be my husband."

I had to fight the tears, and Lizzie gently wiped away the one that had escaped, smiling at me.

"Charles…" the officiant said and I nodded.

"Lizzie, from the moment I met you, I knew you belong with me and that the girl in my story, was and will always be you. You’re my past, my present and my future. You make saying goodbye the worst, but saying hello the best. Saying I love you forevermore will never be long enough. You turn every place you’re at into my favourite place to be. You are the light in my darkest nights, that always guides me home to my safe haven, you. You have the purest and kindest soul, the biggest heart and the sharpest mind. You’re also the most beautiful, breathtaking, stunning girl I’ve ever seen, that’s a big bonus too." everyone laughed a little, and Lizzie shook her head, an amused smile on her lips "You’re always by my side, through all my struggles and endeavours, my highest highs, my lowest lows. In every situation, you always bring me comfort, bring me peace. Waking up next to you is my biggest inspiration and motivation to be the best version of me, but I know that even on the days where I won’t succeed, you will love me no matter what. They say the secret to a perfect life together is to find someone to grow old with, but I think the secret is to find someone to stay young with and in you, I found that someone, Lizzie, because all’s well that ends well to end up with you."

Lizzie looked at me, tears streaming down her face, and I cupped her cheeks, wiping her tears away just the way she did with mine.

"Who has the rings?" the officiant asked and Joris and Shima stepped forwards, handing him the rings. He smiled at Lizzie, handing her my ring.

"Lizzie, do you take Charles to be your husband, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him and to cherish him. Through sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." her hands shaky as she slipped the ring on my finger.

"Charles…" the officiant handed Lizzie‘s ring over and I smiled at her "…do you take Lizzie to be your wife, to love her, to honor her, to comfort her and to cherish her. Through sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." my hand was never this steady when I slipper her ring onto her finger, where her engagement ring was glistening in the sun.

"It is my great honour and privilege to pronounce you husband and wife. Charles, you may kiss the bri-…"

I didn’t let him finish, pulling Lizzie close and sealing our lips shut with an all consuming kiss. Our guests all began to cheer and clap, but I only had eyes for Lizzie, the glimmer in her eyes, the soft tinge of pink adorning her cheeks, the smile on her lips when I pulled away gently.

"I love you…" we both said in unison and I pecked her lips again.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time ever, Mr and Mrs. Leclerc."

"Doetterer-Leclerc…" I whispered and she giggled slightly.

"I love the sound of that…"

"Me too, my beautiful wife, me too…"

The day was perfect. I had no other words for it. Lizzie and Celiné did an incredible job and I watched how all the most important people in our life celebrated us. Our love. When it was time for the food I had to chuckle, watching Lizzie practically beaming at the pasta and pizza bar, smiling from ear to ear when she saw how the guests loved the food, all indulging in the delicious treats.

"Happy?" I whispered, when she closed her eyes, enjoying some cheesy pasta.

"Oh yeah. Choosing a pasta and pizza buffet was the best idea! And our little one approves." she giggled, gently stroking her perfectly hissed bump.

"You want something more? Pizza? Salad? Pasta?"

"Yes. Yes and yes." she munched on her last piece of pizza and I laughed, kissing her cheek.

"I’ll be right back." I walked to the buffet, when Seb patted my arm and I smiled at him.

"Charles. Hey." he hugged me "Congrats, kiddo. What a wonderful day, thanks for having us."

"Thanks for coming! Really. It means a lot to us."

"How’s the bride?" he asked filing a plate with pizza slices.

"Hungry. Happy. On cloud nine?" I laughed, filling Lizzie’s plate with everything she wanted.

"That’s good to hear, now go, feed your wife. It’s going to be a long day!" he chuckled and I nodded.

"I see you later…" I waved him off, returning to our table where Lizzie smiled at me and made grabby hands for her plate "Here you go, my beautiful wife."

"Thank you very much, my dashing husband." she chuckled and I laughed. I looked around, everyone was happy, talking away, laughing. It was indeed the perfect day and I leaned back enjoying every moment to the fullest, when it was time for some speeches. I made it through them without shedding a single tear, fighting for my life, but when Juergen stepped up to the mic, I took a deep breath, squeezing Lizzie’s hand, who lost the the battle with the tears 3 speeches ago.

"You okay?" I whispered and she nodded, sniffling.

"Yeah. You? You need a tissue?"

"I’m fine. Thanks." I said, preparing for the worst.

"Lizzie, Charles. I’ll keep this short, we already heard enough speeches and I know these young folks want to dance and party… Lizzie, to me, you’ll always be my little girl, my little owl, no matter how old you are. And I always knew the day you would marry wouldn’t be easy for me… or at least I thought so for the first 8 years of your life. But the moment Charles walked into our life’s, I knew it wouldn’t be too hard. I knew that with Charles by your side, nothing will happen to you. You’ll be safe. Protected. Happy. I knew that Charles would do everything to make you the happiest girl on this planet, that he would fight for your dreams, make sure that you achieve everything you ever wanted. I knew that the day Charles would replace me wouldn’t be a sad day for me, because I’ve never seen someone loving another person as much as Charles loves you. Charles, I know you now for 19 years and I love you like my own and god how I wished your old man could be here with us tonight. Seeing the man you’ve become. He would be so proud of you, because I sure know that I am. But not just him. Also Jules. Know that these two, although not here with us tonight, are somewhere together, celebrating the love and bond you two share. So, ladies and gentlemen, let’s raise our glasses for our bride and groom. To Lizzie and Charles!" Juergen raised his glass and I took a deep breath, feeling tears streaming down my face.

"You need a tissue?" Lizzie repeated but I couldn’t speak, so I just nodded, taking the tissue she handed me with a shaky hand "Wait…" she smiled, gently wiping away my tears.

I mustered a smile and kissed her cheek, before I got up, taking another deep breath, looking for Juergen. When I spotted him he smiled at me and in an instant I pulled him into a tight embrace, trying to put into words what I felt, but I failed.

"It’s okay. I got you." he whispered and I just nodded, pulling him closer "They are always with you, remember that."

"Thank you…" my voice hoarse and shaky "For everything…"

"Go now, there’s a little surprise waiting for you…" he gently pulled away and I nodded, wiping my eyes.

I walked over to Lizzie, our mothers, hugging her.

"Hi pretty girl." I whispered, hugging her from behind, smiling at our mothers, not patting my arm, walking away "Sorry for storming away…"

"Are you okay?" she turned her head a little, looking at me, her eyes glassy.

"Yeah… he just… everything he said… it was-…" I rambled and she turned around.

"Pops was right, you know? They are always with you… even today…"

"I know, it’s just… I would’ve loved to have them here you know? Like really… I know it’s not possible… but yeah…" I sighed and she smiled.

"They are here, in a different way, but they are here…" she opened the buttons of my jacket, pulling the left side away from my body, looking at the lining on the inside and I followed her look, tearing up immediately. Carefully embroidered into the fabric were papa and Jules, smiling at me.

"How-… when-…" I was at a loss of words, blinking the tears away "Lizzie…"

"The tailor made two jackets, Joris swapped them out right before you put it on…" she whispered "I knew you wanted to have them with you… so-…"

I pressed my lips onto hers, pulling her close.

"You-… I love you, cara mia… so much… thank you. For this- today… our little one… thank you…" I kissed her again, when the lights got dark around us, the only light now coming from the string lights over the dance floor.

"Lizzie, Charles. It’s time for your first dance as husband and wife…" Joris said and I carefully wiped the tears from

Lizzie’s face, for what felt like the hundredth time today, right as she was doing the same on my face.

I took her hand in mine and led her to the dance floor, everyone smiling and cheering for us. Lizzie looked nervous, and I felt the same, but I also knew that with her by my side, it would be just fine. We stopped in the middle of the dance floor and I smiled at her, cupping her cheek and pulling her close, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Ready?" I whispered and she nodded.

"Yeah…"

She placed her hand on my shoulder, while I placed mine on her back, pulling her even closer, holding her other hand. We looked at each other, when on the right side a white piano appeared out of the dark, Arthur sitting on the bench, smiling at us. Then he started to play Lover and Lizzie’s eyes widened as we did the first steps.

"That’s…"

"Our song… I asked Arthur to learn it…"

"Charles… that’s-… thank you." she smiled and I kissed her cheek.

"I had to plan at least one thing alone for tonight, after you made this day as special as it is…"

She hid her face in the crook of my neck and I leaned my cheek against her head.

"I love you, my husband…" she whispered after a while and I smiled, kissing the side of her head.

"I love you too, my beautiful wife…"

The next weeks went by in a blur and it felt like I was floating on cloud 9. Montreal, Spielberg and Spa were wins number 5, 6 and 7. Lizzie was the happiest with how the F1 Academy was gaining more and more the interest of the media, more drivers joining her for workshops and our little one finally deciding to show up, making her huff in annoyance whenever she put something on, that did nothing to conceal her now growing belly.

"I think it’s time that we tell our family and friends the good news… I can’t hide it for much longer, it’s summer, I can’t run around wearing your hoodies all the time, we were lucky that it was cold and rainy the last weeks wherever we were racing!"

"Alright, then let’s tell everyone?" I said and she nodded "I mean, now that little Noah is born, we definitely can tell our family and friends?"

"Okay, let’s do this." she grabbed her phone and handed it to me, peeling my hoodie off of her belly "Take a picture and let’s send it to everyone."

"What? You’re joking, right?" I looked at her and she titled her head a little.

"Why?" she scrunched her nose.

"Lizzie! We’re not just sending a picture of your belly and that’s it!"

"Why not?"

"You’re really serious?"

"I mean, I wouldn’t just send a picture of my belly and that’s it. I would write a little something, but honestly? I don’t want to make a party or whatever. I’m just so happy that the wedding is over, I don’t need another party that I have to organise…" she leaned back and I thought about it for a second.

"Okay, we’re taking a selfie… with your belly…" I said and she smiled, I held the phone in one hand, pointing at Lizzie’s belly with the other, making a funny face taking some pictures before we looked at them.

Lizzie smiled at me on every picture, and when we picked our favourite one she thought for a moment, before she typed away, showing me the text and I laughed.

"We’re going to need a bigger car, bye bye two-seater."

I woke up from a faint rummaging somewhere in the penthouse, immediately feeling for Lizzie next to me, just to find her bed empty and cold. I was awake in an instant and sat up, switching the nightstand lamp on. 2:34am. One look to the foot of the bed and I knew that Lizzie was okay, Arlo was with her. I stretched and got up, following the rustling sound, hearing Lizzie mumbling in the soon to be nursery.

"I thought that I ordered it? Maybe they didn’t deliver it? Do we even need one? Of course we need one… silly me." she huffed and Arlo tilted his head when he saw me walking in, barking quietly "Shhh! Arlo! Don’t wake up Charlie!"

"Too late." I whispered and Lizzie flinched, turning around, her cheeks red, swollen belly on full display between us "What are you doing?" I asked, gently caressing our little one, feeling a kick immediately.

"She’s keeping me awake! She’s just like her dad!" Lizzie mumbled and I looked at her face, the glow of her skin, shiny eyes, soft hair.

"She?" I cocked an eyebrow and she nodded "Cara mia, we said we don’t want to know the gender for now… did you cheat?"

"No! But I just… I have this feeling, you know? I can’t explain…" she whispered and glanced down at her growing bump "She’s in there…"

"How do you know?"

"I just told you! I have a feeling!" she hit my shoulder and in the next moment she kissed my cheek "I’m sorry! I don’t know why I did that… I’m just… it’s- just…"

"Hormones? They make you emotional? Little cra-… irrational?" I said gently, wiping a tear from cheek.

"I’m carrying a baby inside of me! I think I have the right to be a little bit irrational!" another wave of her cute wrath.

"I’m sorry, pretty girl… you are right!" I smiled, cradling Lizzie’s bump gently with one hand, her cheek with the other "But can my two favourite people in the world come back to bed now? I miss you…"

"Yeah… I was just looking for this baby monitor thing? I thought I ordered it? But maybe I didn’t? It’s not here… but I was so sure? God my brain is mush… I- I don’t even know what day today is." she mumbled, a fresh wave of tears gathering in her eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey, cara mia. It’s okay! You hear me? We figure it out in the morning. But for now, let’s go back to bed." I gently guided her to our bedroom and helped her get comfortable.

"I hate being like this…" Lizzie whispered and I looked at her.

"What do you mean?"

"I’m so emotional all the damn time! One moment I’m complete mush and want to cry, the next I want to kill someone! And my brain is not braining anymore… and I don’t even want to start with how I look!"

"You look beautiful, what are you even talking about?" I cupped her cheek but she huffed.

"How is it possible that in the span of 8 weeks my belly tripled in size! I’m huge! 8 weeks ago I was wearing my wedding dress… and now?" she pouted "Not even your biggest clothes will fit me in no time anymore…"

"First of all, you haven’t tripled in size. Don’t be ridiculous! Second of all, you’re now in the sixth month. It’s normal that your belly grows now a little more each day! The doctor already said that it might happen from one week to another that our little one decides to show up fully! And there it is…"

"But- but I… I don’t even know what I wanted to say…" she sighed and I chuckled.

"What about we’re going to bed now? Tomorrow we’re leaving for our family vacation, just some quiet days with our family. Doing nothing but relaxing. Leave the room the way it is, and as soon as we’re back from our vacation, I’ll make sure to check that we have everything for our little one. And I make sure that the nursery is ready as well… how does that sound?"

"Okay…" she puffed out, walking towards the door "But I’m hungry…"

"What do you want, pretty girl?" I asked and she thought for a moment, although I knew already what she wanted "Grapes, berries, some cheese and crackers?"

"Ouhhh yes! That sounds good…" she smiled and I kissed her cheek.

"You go and het comfy in the bed and I’ll bring you your midnight snack."

"Thank you." she whispered, smiling adorably.

"Everything for my beautiful wife and our little one…"

"Where’s Lizzie?" I asked our mothers, when I got out of the pool, looking for her.

"She went inside, she said it’s a little too hot and she’s also hungry… but not hungry hungry, more in the mood for a snack hungry…" Marina said and I chuckled.

"Okay…" I grabbed a towel, drying myself up, walking inside the house, where Lizzie was sitting on the sofa, eating ice cream, the bowl propped up on her belly. I took my phone out and captured the moment when she scrunched her nose, huffing.

"What is it, pretty girl?" I asked and stopped in front of her "What do my two favourite girls in the world need?"

"Oh? So now it’s a girl?" she tilted her head adorably "When I said she’s a girl, that I can feel it, you called me crazy…"

"I did not call you crazy!" I held my hands up and she sighed, rolling her eyes, before she scooted to the edge of the sofa, pushing herself up "Hey, what do you need? I can get it for you…"

"I can walk into the kitchen by myself, thank you…" she mumbled and waddled away, it was truly endearing.

"I know that you can, but I could also just do it for you…" I followed her as she rummaged through the cupboards "What do you need?"

"This ice cream sucks…" she groaned, voice muffled as she looked into another cupboard.

"Ouch-… okay…"

"No! Not sucks like it doesn’t taste good! More like… I want the saltiness from the caramel one, but still the peanut ice cream and no caramel? Maybe a little chocolate? I don’t know…" she mumbled, letting an errant of different snacks and toppings falling down on the kitchen island.

"And what are you doing now?" I watched her scoop up some ice cream, sprinkling it with chocolate chips and some sea salt flakes.

"Now I’m mixing my own ice cream…" she shoved the spoonful in her mouth, giving it a go "No. That’s not it…"

"So this is your newest craving then? Ice cream with weird toppings?" I asked carefully, hoping secretly that the nights full of fruit platters and cheese boards in our bed might come to an end.

"For now…" she mumbled, trying her next creation "Ewww no. Bad idea. Bad, bad, bad idea. Whoever said pickles go along with everything… no. Just no."

I stayed quiet and watched Lizzie trying all different variations of toppings out, right when I thought she wouldn’t find the perfect combination today, a moan emanated from her throat and she closed her eyes.

"I guess whatever that combination was, it’s the winner?" I chuckled as she let out another moan "Okay stop… our parents are somewhere out there…"

"Charles, I’m pregnant, I think they know that we have sex…" she rolled her eyes and I shook my head, hugging her from behind.

"But that’s the thing, cara mia…" I whispered in her ear, watching goosebumps spread over her body, her breathing hitched "We’re not having sex… you’re just eating ice cream, sounding like that? I feel like I have to outperform myself tonight to make you sound like that…" she began to tremble and I cradled her swollen belly.

"Charles…" she breathed out.

"Yeah?" I kissed her cheek.

"I think I just invented a new flavour for Lec…" she replied and I dropped my head on her shoulder, laughing "You should give it a try, it’s delicious."

"Sure… why not…" I chuckled, opening my mouth for the spoon Lizzie fed me. And to my surprise she was right "What’s that?"

"It’s your peanut ice cream, with crushed salt pretzels and a little bit of crumbled brownies. Salty, sweet, nutty. It has it all." she ate another spoon full "Mhhh so good." she moaned again and I shook my head.

"Now you’re just doing it to tease me…"

"Maybe… maybe not…"

I stroked her belly, leaning down and kissing the side of it.

"Your mama is mean to me… I can’t wait for you to come out and help me against her!" I whispered and Lizzie laughed.

"You think, after I carried her for 9 months, she’ll pick your side?"

"Of course. I talked to her about it. Every night when I was with you, I talked to her, had my own personal little chat time with our beautiful little one… I’m confident she’ll protect her dad from her vicious mama…"

"Vicious?" she shrieked and I laughed, cupping her cheeks.

"Vicious, beautiful, perfect baby mama…" I kissed her and I felt the smile on her lips "My gorgeous wife…"

Chapter 50 - Ladies and Gentlemen, you are cordially invited to celebrate the marriage of Lizzie and Charles ♥️👰‍♀️🤵‍♂️ 2 more chapters to go…

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @janeh22 @shimmermotorsport @kahhorri @18754389 @chiliwhore @hellowgoodbye @queensassybitchsworld @harrysdimple05 @skynel09 @fangirlforever2000

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made).

[themuse-if]

Another 20 (or so) Questions with Everly/Everette Thompson

Interviewer: Welcome to another installment of our character interviews, where we dive deep into the lives and minds of our favorite cast members of The Muse. Today, we have Everly/Everette Thompson with us, our resident multi-faceted thespian . Everly/Everette, thank you for joining us. Could you start by telling us what made you want to pursue not only acting, but dancing and singing as well?

Everly/Everette: Hey! I'm super happy to be here today, thank you for having me. Honestly I grew up spending most of my summers with Gran Gran, she lives in Florida. We would spend most of the day at the beach, and then she would teach me how to knit while TCM (Turner Classic Movies) played in the background. So many classic Hollywood films were musicals and I fell in love with all of the razzle dazzle. Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, Leslie Caron, Ginger Rogers they were all so captivating in their time, and I'd love to captivate others in the same way.

Interviewer: So classic Hollywood is your main inspiration, and I'm guessing that also led to your love of the stage. Describe your art in your own words.

Everly/Everette: Once I realized my love for the dramatic arts I knew that I wanted to do it all. Both on stage and on screen, I knew that I wanted to live many lives and tell thought provoking stories time and time again. Getting fully immersed in a new character, and knowing that an audience can see, feel, and hear what I'm trying to express through them is such an overwhelming feeling.

Interviewer: How do you want to be seen by others?

Everly/Everette: If were talking about how I want to be seen as a person rather than as an actor, then the answer is that people can perceive me however they please. People are always going to have their own opinions and make assumptions. I can't really control how people view me, all I can do is be true to myself.

Interviewer: True it's easy for people to make quick assumptions about you when you're in the spotlight. And how do you want your art to be seen by others?

Everly/Everette: I want people to be as immersed in my roles as I am. When they see me perform I want them to forget that it's me and only see the character that I am portraying.

Interviewer: What trait do you value most in a friend?

Everly/Everette: I really value the support of my friends. I may put up a strong front, but it's hard to constantly be in the spotlight. People make a lot of assumptions without really getting to know you. So having friends who trust and understand me despite what others may say is really valuable to me.

Interviewer: What is your latest obsession?

Everly/Everette: I think most people know this about me already, but I'm really into DnD. So recently I've been playing Baldur's Gate 3. It's so unbelievably good! And yes Astarion is my favorite...but Karlach is a close second.

Interviewer: I think Astarion is everyone's favorite! Alright next question, describe your ideal best friend.

Everly/Everette: Someone who shares my passion for the arts and understands the dedication required to succeed. Someone who is supportive, honest, and always up for a spontaneous adventure.

Interviewer: And what about your ideal partner?

Everly/Everette: I think that my ideal partner is really similar to my ideal best friend. The biggest difference would be that I want them to only have eyes for me. I don't mean that they can't perceive other people as attractive I just always want feel like their number 1.

Interviewer: That makes perfect sense. What was your first kiss like?

Everly/Everette: I was really ambitious my freshman year and I auditioned for the lead in our spring musical, Grease. I got the part and my co-star was pissed since they were a senior and really wanted to do the role opposite their partner. As you can imagine this made baby freshman me really nervous, so I begged my best friend Cleo to help me practice the kissing scenes. In my head I thought that maybe if I was a good kisser then maybe my co-star could at least tolerate me. *shrugs*

Interviewer: So did it work? Did your newfound kissing skills help you get closer with your fellow actor?

Everly/Everette: *self deprecating grin* Well........ sort of....... *chuckles to themself* So the thing is I could tell that they definitely started to get more into rehearsing with me kissing scenes or otherwise. The thing is as soon as we were done rehearsing or performing they would become super cold towards me. I don't think they were even capable of warming up to me, but hey the show must go on.

Interviewer: Indeed it must. Well Everly/Everette, have you ever been in love? Off the stage of course. *cheeky grin*

Everly/Everette: I mean I've dated here and there throughout high school, but I don't know, I can't say that I was in love. I have yet to feel that same rush that I feel on stage playing out a scene of love, with someone in reality. And I know that love isn't supposed to feel like something fictional, it should feel real, tangible. Like something that I just have to hold onto because once it slips through my fingers who knows when I'll be able to grasp it again.

Interviewer: *gets wide eyed and then holds back a chuckle* Um...uh are you sure you've never been in love? I just can't imagine having thought about it so deeply if you've never felt it. Could you tell me when was your last relationship, and why did it end?

Everly/Everette: *hides their cheeks from blushing* Ah uh sorry. *chuckles* Yeah I have a habit of being overly introspective. I just think about emotions and abstractions like love and hate, happiness and sadness, so often that it's hard to really define those things in day to day life. And as for my last relationship, well it ended pretty recently. So I was cast as the lead in my final high school spring musical which was Heathers. Long story short my co-star asked me out opening night, and I felt like I sort of had to say yes. Honestly I didn't really see them as anything more than a friend and fellow actor, but I was scared that the performance would tank if I turned them down. After going to prom with them I decided that I had to end it before graduation, I felt really horrible stringing them along. I couldn't be honest with them and say that I was never into them from the start, so I just said that since we were going to schools on different coasts it would be better if we went back to being friends.

Interviewer: Wow that's a lot to unpack. I guess that probably put a bit of a damper on the end of your senior year. Lets move to a lighter topic. What’s your ideal Friday night?

Everly/Everette: If I don't have any plans to hang out with friends, then I'll usually just have a chill night in with the twins. They're in middle school so they're old enough to stay home alone or go hang out with friends, but I still like spending time with them. Plus it gives my parents a chance for a night out. We'll just order pizza and stay up late watching movies and playing video games.

Interviewer: That's really sweet I'm sure they'll miss your Friday night hangouts. What’s the last song you listened to?

Everly/Everette: "Body Language" by Helena Deland.

Interviewer: How do you behave in a relationship?

Everly/Everette: I'm honestly not 100% sure... Since I basically faked my last one... I don't know I think that maybe I'm just a little possessive. Not in a controlling way I just want to spend all of my time with my my partner. But that's normal...right...if you really like someone?

Interviewer: Well I guess that would depend on how it makes your partner feel. Speaking of people you really like, do you approach those you’re interested in or let them come to you?

Everly/Everette: That depends. If the person is someone who likes to take charge then I'll just make my feeling obvious, and they can come to me. If they're a bit more reserved then I'll just take my time showing how I feel and I'll approach them more, the more they show interest in me.

Interviewer: That's a very thoughtful approach. What is your biggest pet peeve?

Everly/Everette: *immediately gets heated* People who tell others to "tone it down." Like what the fuck does that mean? If you can't handle someone with a more expressive personality then just fuck off. Why should I have to tone it down to make someone else more comfortable. If they don't like it, then they can leave, no one is forcing them to stick around.

Interviewer: *cheeky grin* Sounds like your talking from experience. I bet there is definitely a story there, but moving on. What do you notice first about a person?

Everly/Everette: Their eyes, or their gaze more precisely. The way someone just watches the world when they don't think anyone is watching is really interesting.

Interviewer: That's an interesting one, I haven't heard a take like that before. Alright last question, what did you dream about last night?

Everly/Everette: I honestly don't know. I can only recall little snippets. A vivid sunset, me dancing with someone I don't know to a song I've never heard, and streams of people. I uh...don't remember any context those are the only points that stuck with me.

Interviewer: Sounds like even your dreams are cinematic. Well that's all the time we have for today. Thank you so much for coming in and sharing more of your story with us!

[zkenvs3000w24]

Flowing with Nature - Interpretive Ethic

Hi everyone! 

I can't believe it's already time for our final blog post! It's crazy to think how quickly time has flown by. It feels like just yesterday we began this journey of exploring nature interpretation. As I reflect on my journey, I'm excited to share with you my personal ethics as I continue to develop as a nature interpreter. This journey has been one of self-discovery, filled with moments of inspiration and growth. So, let's dive into what beliefs I bring, the responsibilities I hold, and the approaches I find most suitable.  

Earlier in the semester, I remember watching a podcast that really stuck with me: “Flow, the secret to happiness” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. He introduced the concept of "flow," a state of optimal experience where individuals are fully immersed and engaged in their activities, leading to feelings of clarity and fulfillment (Csikszentmihalyi, 2004). Overall, the message encourages viewers to seek activities and experiences that bring them into a state of flow, where they can find joy and purpose in their lives (Csikszentmihalyi, 2004). 

Just as Csikszentmihalyi discusses finding happiness and meaning through activities that lead to a state of flow, nature interpretation encourages individuals to immerse themselves in nature in a way that promotes a similar sense of engagement and connection. Whether it's through guided hikes, wildlife observation, or hands-on conservation activities, nature interpretation provides avenues for individuals to enter a state of flow where they feel fully absorbed and connected to their surroundings. As I continue to develop as a nature interpreter, I am committed to creating experiences that enable individuals – peer, family or friends – to immerse themselves in nature, find joy and purpose in their interactions with the natural world, and cultivate a deeper connection with the environment. 

For someone like me, who is passionate about nature and working with kids, the importance of educating the next generation to stay in touch with nature as well as conservation is crucial. This belief is deeply ingrained in my personal ethics and the responsibilities I feel as a nature interpreter. Through my journey in the Arts and Science program, where I'm minoring in both biology and family and child studies, I've come to recognize the profound importance of nature in a child's development.  

Children are naturally curious and eager to explore the world around them. By fostering a connection with nature from a young age, we can instill in them a lifelong appreciation for the environment and a sense of responsibility for its protection. As a nature interpreter, it is my responsibility to provide opportunities for children to engage with the natural world in meaningful ways.  

Additionally, as we delve deeper into the complexities of nature interpretation, I recognize the importance of addressing difficult issues that may arise. Incorporating the importance of addressing difficult issues into my personal ethics as a nature interpreter is essential for fostering a comprehensive understanding of the natural world and its complexities. As the textbook emphasizes, interpretive sites often grapple with critical issues that may span historical, environmental, cultural, and social domains (Beck et al., 2018, p. 94). It is the responsibility of interpreters to engage visitors in meaningful conversations about these topics, providing accurate information, fostering dialogue, and promoting critical thinking. 

This dedication to confronting challenging topics is consistent with my belief that activism and education can bring about constructive change. In my role as a nature interpreter, I understand the importance of giving people context, a different point of view, and chances for reflection regarding matters like social justice, degradation of the environment, civil rights, and racial tensions. Interpreters can help individuals form stronger bonds with their surroundings by exploring these difficult subjects. As well as inspiring people to think about how they can contribute to the future of our planet. 

Moreover, my background in both biology and family and child studies has equipped me with a holistic understanding of the interconnectedness of natural and human systems. This interdisciplinary perspective enables me to approach difficult issues from multiple angles, considering their implications for both ecological and social well-being. By integrating scientific knowledge with principles of child development, I strive to create educational experiences that resonate with diverse audiences and inspire them to become agents of positive change in their communities. 

As a nature interpreter, I consider myself a conversation starter who pushes people to face hard realities and imagine a future that is more equitable and sustainable. I aim to enable people to make informed decisions and tackle urgent environmental and social issues by sharing information based on science and fostering critical thinking. 

I am filled with a sense of purpose and optimism for the future as I wrap up this post. Through my journey in nature interpretation, I have come to recognize the transformative power of immersive experiences, storytelling, and education in fostering a deep connection with the natural world, particularly among children—the next generation who will care for and protect environmental. 

My approach to nature interpretation is based on a commitment to providing meaningful and profound experiences that develop a lifetime love for environment and a sense of responsibility for its conservation, from embracing the idea of flow to fostering children's natural curiosity and sense of wonder. By tackling challenging topics and offering precise information based on empathy and science, my goal is to enable people to become advocates for social justice and the environment. 

Thank you to all of you who took the time to read my posts throughout the semester! I thoroughly enjoyed reading all of yours. I wish each and every one of you all the best!  

- Zeina :) 

References  

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage: For A Better World (pp. 94). Sagamore Publishing. 

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2004). Flow, the secret to happiness. https://www.ted.com/talks/mihaly_csikszentmihalyi_flow_the_secret_to_happiness/transcript?language=en 

[theabysscomeshome]

Honkai Impact Webcomic - Elan Palatinus - Abridged Part 2

Part 1 here

Here is where the actual story summary starts to break down, because if I am being honest I was only interested in yelling about These Two Trainwrecks.

Love the Kaslanas and their stubborn dedication to using Int as a dump stat. The epitomy of Pure Of Heart, Dumb of Ass, truly. Also, shoutout to the fact that Otto apparently just? Collects outfits specifically tailored to Kallen's measurements, as well as making inventions specifically designed to match said outfits.

Though it's not JUST Kallen he's collecting outfits for:

Honestly an excellent look. How to support your childhood friend slash crush's vigilante dreams 101, everyone take notes. I did not screenshot but he proceeds to "trip and twist his ankle" so the guards rush over to help.

Meanwhile inside the mansion, Kallen is so bad at vigilantism. She's Trying. Also shoutout to the last moment in history when Kallen's hair and eye color will actually be an identifying feature instead of a coloring held by like 25 people at any given time.

The basement, huh? What's in the basement? And how is Otto involved? I did not screenshot this either but earlier, Otto talked Kallen into sending a letter announcing her intent to rob Victor, which is why Victor was waiting for her when she arrived. In the letter he specifically says "And I'll also come for what's in the basement", prompting Victor to assign most of his guards there. One wonders what Otto's motivations are here.

Skipping forward a bit, we're in another flashback now. In this version of history, the Black Plague still happened but was specifically caused by Honkai. We look back now to Otto's attempts to find a cure, as one of his patients goes full honkai zombie and has to be dispatched by a guard as Otto stands by.

Otto: I must find a cure, not because people are dying or it's the right thing to do, that's all fine I don't care about that. I need to find a cure specifically because Kallen will be happy with me if I do.

Otto Apocalypse motivations in a nutshell right here, even as he turns around and tells Kallen only the parts he thinks she'll approve of. Man reading this again after finishing the comic: the fact that Kallen sees Otto as inspiration and a role model for her own desire to do good is So. In light of what's about to happen.

Speaking of: skipping a bunch of story, Kallen does end up finding the basement when a girl she's trying to protect goes missing. BUT: inside the basement we find what literally looks like the big boss lair of a jRPG or something and ABBREVIATEDLY:

Otto: Listen just don't ask questions about why I'm in the human sacrifice dungeon, I can explain. Haha actually no I can't.

After this confrontation Kallen is taken away to the dungeons, and we cut to Otto dreaming:

He wakes up and visits Kallen, and is told to bring her to her senses, as the church needs the support of her family.

Naturally, slapping someone is terrible if a guy does it, but cute and passionate when a girl does it.

Man, Otto's simple, childish wish :c

I'm sure the fact that he's sold his body to a mysterious and malevolent force will absolutely not come back to bite him later, what consequences could this possibly have.

Nice to see that Kallen specifically and explicitly has told him she doesn't want him sacrificing himself for her sake and that this will not make her happy. The lesson Otto takes from this is that he must make sure not to TELL her when he's doing stuff like that, and then he spends the next 500 years running around committing atrocities so he can kill himself and bring her back. Because at the end of the day it's not about what Kallen wants or what will make her happy, but about what Otto wants and what will make Otto happy.

But right now it IS genuinely about making Kallen happy and I have so many questions about how much of that change is related to the little malevolent voice he now has in the back of his head.

Part 3 here

[himi-wiz]

Hehe

Chuuya for bingo! <3

(And Dazai, if you want to.)

YOU. YOU HAD TO HUH.

Definitely don't know you anon. And therefore I can lie about it but here we go:

Dazai —

Interesting lad in the most atrocious manner possible. Admittedly I still needed to read the novels but I think Dazai is an odd character which I've never quite gotten completely even from the start of my initial bsd phase at 2014-2015. Now I'm as old as him (which is bizarre to think about) and I get what's going on, I still don't think I'll ever quite grasp what's in his head. He has this apathy and intelligence I will never take hold of as someone who understands that I am extremely an ordinary individual and chooses to remain so — being oblivious and normal — for fear that I would turn out to be as isolated as he is.

I think it's terrifying.

To be too smart and think too much of yourself, to realise you're never going to be normal for you will always reason a way out of your greatest passions and your worst nightmares. And therefore you never truly fear anything nor could you truly love something wholeheartedly either. How could you when you can't trust in anything?

I am fond of the irl author, Mr. Dazai Osamu's dedication to his work of No Longer Human which I did read through ages ago and encounter some memorable quotes. But it's only rather recently I was able to fully comprehend the sheer terror it brings as the protagonist Yozo elaborates on the despair of understanding one's role in life is inevitably meaningless, akin to an insect realising its doom to fall prey to fate in a web full of lies.

Whenever I was asked what I wanted my first impulse was to answer "Nothing." The thought went through my mind that it didn't make any difference, that nothing was going to make me happy.

— No Longer Human, Dazai Ozamu

And I only have pity for such a being that is unable to unlearn that despair or at the very least, be able to stop, condense and move forward with these thoughts and live with them.

Our BSD Dazai however is given a chance to do so unlike Yozo thanks to Odasaku and it brings a fond affection to see him trying his best. I hope he does find his way and learns to enjoy the difficult journey stumbling around in life. But at the same time, it'll be foolish of me to presume just because he's moving towards the light, Dazai's darkness and general sense of dissatisfaction with people and life would change.

Dazai is not kind, he is not gentle, he's inconsiderate, deplorable, utterly wretched nuisance of a man who can and will use you if he decides it's worthwhile for him to do so, otherwise he has little interest in you even if he can sees through all your struggles and how he could help you, he wouldn't, certainly not intuitively desire so.

And I much prefer that viewpoint for it's more remarkable that Dazai is choosing when he does good. And how he's actively trying to be the side that reaches out to someone else and be there for them. To let himself be tied to people he feels isolated from and be vulnerable enough to take bets and place his trust on the Armed Detective Agency (and Chuuya and Akutagawa) so he could save lives he honestly doesn't care much for. How fascinating.

And so when fans do brush that darkness aside, I can be mildly peeved. But hey, it's still valid and okay to have some fun with just comfort and softness of just wishing happiness for a character you like. It can hard to decipher these layers if you don't know where to look too. Or perhaps am I reading too deep into this? Who knows. Asagiri sure has a way of writing nuances like these and it's so delightful to unpack them.

I still don't understand Dazai on a fundamental level.

That is more of my fault as I am someone who both emotionally and socially impaired so much that I use myself as a medium to "empathise" with people. I merely mimick emotions — like I don't feel sad if someone lost a loved one, I 'force' myself to feel bad if I am that person, I play out the scenario of losing something precious to me and I take that sadness to apply it to the person.

That's how I can predict people well enough, aside from those who are far too passionate in an ideal or passion I can't understand like Kunikida, those who learn to hate everything, and those who comprehend the reasons why they hate and shift to a complete apathy, able to pinpoint all the ways they're wrong — ways they don't fit, they aren't human enough, but are ultimately far too timid and cowardly to work on why they are outsiders and maintain a distance for it's far safer this way.

Dazai is still that person who's terrified of attachment and rejection, still struggling to believe in people more than he trusts his mind and vision of the world around him. And he appears to be doing his best, so perhaps I would fall in love with his character a little more when I finish rereading No Longer Human, the dark era stuff and other bsd side stories.

For now let's see how he'll end up.

Chuuya—

I refuse to elaborate on him.

Suffer anon.

[tarotwithart]

Hello! I'm RR and I'm a Capricorn ♡ I'd like to participate in your FS game about their description ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა Thank you so much!

(P.S: I love your blog aesthetic so much >_<)

𝖾𝗑𝖼𝗂𝗍𝖾𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍 — “ 𝖮𝗁𝗁... 𝗆𝗒 𝖺𝗉𝗈𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗒 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖺 𝖻𝗂𝗍 𝖼𝗅𝗎𝗆𝗌𝗂𝗇𝖾𝗌𝗌 ”. 𝖶𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝖾𝖾𝗍 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗇𝖾𝗐, 𝖺 𝖿𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗁 𝖻𝖾𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝖿 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗁𝗎𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗇𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝗌. 𝖶𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗈𝗈 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖾𝗑𝖼𝗂𝗍𝖾𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍, 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝖽𝗈𝗋𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝗂𝖿𝖾.

✩ death, 8 of pentacles, knight of wands ✩

If I'm not mistaken they got strong Scorpio or Sagittarius vibes, this individual is a real representation of being dark vibes maybe into gothics or something who wears dark or who do love/ prefer dark colors. It could also represents someone who seems to have gloomy aura, someone who seems sad or just simply comes off as someone who is pale like a vampire.

If dracula was a person, they play a role with it in real life. They prefer nights rather than days, they tend not to appear happy individual. Probably hate being happy as well as they fear that after a joy, a sadness will come. It could also mean that they don't prefer dramatic series/ movie and will prefer horror + trilling movie/series.

Also represents someone who works at night or more active at night. When they ( ur fs ) love someone else, they willing to sacrifice it all, a kind of love that is worthy above all. It is a type of love who you will never forget until the end as it will leave a mark in you.

In other side, they are mysterious and often misunderstood by people who surrounds them possibly that these people may think that your person is a weirdo person. For others, they may fear this person aura ( even in physical looks as well ) maybe they look intimidating at all.

They probably change a lot when they finally meet you as you have huge impact for them. Like be more open-minded than before, excited to learn new things and so and so forth.

A kind of person who is a hard worker and committed to what they doing too. It will also put more dedication to achieve success in life, as of now— love won't be their focal point as they busy on something, tends to be very busy and workaholic. They got high standards as well or you will set a standard to them. It also symbolize someone who make effort in everything, in work, personal life and even in love. They do love crafting or DYI's in their free time, seems that they love to keep busy.

Also symbolize someone who is passionate but can be rebellious, they very charming and it is pretty hard to avoid it. They do tends to be hot tempered person or someone who have anger issues, so be patient with them. If someone doesn't like them, it okay— they accept rejection after all. They are attractive individual as well the mysterious vibes of them which people feel drawn more to them.

They also love physical activities and possibly have an athlete body and do dress in very sexy way, it could be fitted black shirt I think, a bad type of looking. Being sexy is already part of them as well the sensual side.

Thank you for joining, lil' angel. As well for loving my blog and it's aesthetic. Hoping for more love in you:>

hugs and kisses, Vella

[tenelkadjowrites]

hello!!! i hope you’re doing amazing <3 i have two questions, cause i’m obsessed with ur blog and you’re the sweetest human ever to answer things, so i’m not scared of u (some blog owners just kinda gives me not so good vibes)

first, have u ever considered writing a best friend’s brother fic? i can picture it with anyone u write, but fr i think san would stand out more for the role iykwim

also!! u don’t rlly write about the other members, is it because u find it harder to fit in one of ur works? or anything else?

anyways, i hope u didn’t find anything i’ve said here offensive or anything. have a good week <3

this answer is gonna be long so i'm gonna add a cut.

first off, thank you so much for calling me sweet <3 it is really important to me that this blog feels comforting and welcoming (as much as a blog can be with the type of smut i post lol.) and that ppl can feel safe sending in questions or comments or even just random things about ateez or whatever.

as far as writing a best friend's brother, i haven't written that trope altho i've written reader sleeping with their brother's best friend with the idol taemin and my current seonghwa fic i am working on is also reader with brother's best friend. i just haven't gotten any inspiration to write best friend's brother yet, i just kinda go wherever my brain takes me lmao. altho that trope does sound fun! def a lot of promise for something smutty and enjoyable lol.

as for why i don't write about other members, it isn't anything against them. i love every single member of that group, they are my comfort and a source of great joy for me. but my brain leans into seonghwa because, when it comes to idols, he is just very special to me. i feel a kinship with him (as much as one can with an idol you know from a distance) in that he is oftentimes the caretaker (as the older sister, i relate.) he is extremely considerate, thoughtful, kind, and loving. i love that he is so open with his emotions that he isn't afraid to cry openly (not to get too personal on this blog but i cry a lot whenever i feel the need to since its healthy to do so) and his dedication to ateez and atiny touches me. on top of that, i think he is an incredible performer and he has an energy to him on stage that speaks to me. and of course, i find him just...insanely attractive.

because of all those reasons, he ends up being my muse and my inspiration for my fics. when my brain lobs me an idea for a fic, it is typically tied to hwa. if i swapped hwa out for another member, it wouldn't feel "the same" in my brain and therefore i believe the work would suffer for it if that makes sense.

i have gotten asked before, on and off this blog, about when or why i won't write for other members to the point where sometimes i catch myself debating if i should swap hwa out for someone else for a fic due to demand. but then i think that is a disservice not only to the member i'd swap with, who wouldn't be getting the proper treatment i give all my fics and characterizations, but also to myself as a writer who is now writing for the blog vs writing for myself and then posting it on the blog on the off chance others might enjoy what i write.

i've also said this before but it bears repeating because it is truly important to me but writing is me. writing is my heart, my soul, my joy and my passion since i was around six years old. it's saved my life, it's given me purpose, it's given me a happiness nothing else has. i write these fics because of the pure joy it gives me and i try very very hard to stick to that and share the stories to hopefully give others comfort and a place to escape to during moments of their life where they want to shut the world out. so i stick to writing mostly hwa because that is where my heart and creativity lies and my work is better for it! <3

i know this answer was soooo long and i hope that is okay if you, or anyone else, took the time to read this lol! but i really wanted to give this a good answer! thank you so much for taking the time to send in thoughtful questions and i hope i answered them in a way that made sense. <3 have a wonderful night/day!

[vilelittlecritter]

Okay so I'm seeing a dozen different au's of omori and I ended up kinda brainstorming one in the shower and Ima just throw it out there because why not.

This does contain kind of Omori spoilers so if you haven't finished the game probably best not to read this.

The au is honestly pretty bare bones, it's essentially omoriboy with the plot beats of omori and Scott Pilgrim I guess??? It'll make more sense why I say Scott Pilgrim once I've actually got a good idea of what I'm thinking of but just bear with me.

Okay so the whole plot goes that Mari and Sunny DIDN'T meet any of the faraway friends (at least for now) and the both of them became incredibly reclusive. Mari being Sunny's only real friend and almost parental figure spent almost all her time keeping him safe and comforted, their parents often got into fights and their father as usual in headcanons/au's is absolutely awful berating Mari constantly and Mari having to take blows for Sunny and get into screaming matches to defend him. This pressure alongside the pressure of good grades and such becomes too much for Mary and she either

1. Actually hangs herself which causes their father to finally pack his crap and leave but leaving Sunny alone and feeling guilty (I don't think I'll go down this route unless I can expand upon it enough that it makes sense for Mari to do this as you know suicide is pretty damn serious and I don't want to use it as a dumb plot device)

2. After some sort of fight their Dad leaves but the damage is done as Mari falls into a deep depression and Sunny is left feeling hopeless to helping her as he doesn't know how to and their mother isn't exactly helping (not out of malice but she most likely is struggling severely aswell and doesn't know what to do). Sunny does try to help Mari by going out to get stuff for her, doing activities with her and overall trying to keep her happy however none of these have ever been a permanent fix which leaves Sunny giving up hope over time.

Route 2 seems the most likely as having Mari live is always a neat concept as well as I enjoy the role swap of Mari being Sunny's carer to Sunny trying to be Mari's the best he can.

Okay onto the main boy himself, Sunny. Sunny in this is mentally ALOT better than the original Sunny but still has a lot of issues, fear, anxiety, autism, trauma. It's all there but toned down to where he's able to function a lot better. A majority of his anxiety comes from his crippling loneliness from not having any friends as well as fear over leaving Mari alone for too long. Sunny in this although quiet is a lot more chatty, think about the original Omoriboy for an idea. In this I also imagine that Sunny is in fact the creator of captain SpaceBoy! In this au SpaceBoy is a character Sunny made as a comic to keep him distracted and have a passion project to try and enjoy which he really does!! Also this isn't just a fun detail this is important as Sunny dedicates a lot of time to this comic, moments from Sunny's life directly affect the comic and Sunny submits his comics often to either a local writers group or local competitions; not for prizes but just to share his work. I might tweak the idea of Sunny submitting his comic to local clubs a bit to make it make a little more sense but I plan for Sunny writing captain SpaceBoy to be the main reason he meets a certain someone ;)

That's about as far as I've thought but if I come up with any more ideas I'll share them.

I've got some loose ideas of headspace and the friends but they're not very clear the now.

Also Omori is non existent in this au with Sunny being the one to explore his Dreamworld. He may show up as something else but It's Sunny exploring his dreams in this.

This Au is far more light hearted and comedic than regular Omori as if I do continue with this I want it just to be a silly little thing to play about with. It's still sad but not base game Omori sad. It'll mainly just be Sunny living his life and coming out of his shell and hopefully bringing Mari with him.

[scrambled-eggs-y]

Hi! I love, love, love your Puppy Love story! ❤Can I make a request for an Austin x reader thing where he goes with her to a tattoo studio so she can get an Elvis tattoo, please? I'm thinking of the one that Miley Cyrus has. 🙃

I Love Elvis

Austin Butler x Reader Word Count: 499 Warnings: none A/N: Hey my love, thank you so much for the support and love on the Puppy Love fic! This idea is super cute! I love the tattoo she has :D

You were always an avid Elvis fan – your grandparents and your parents basically raised you on his music. As you grew older, you adopted his music and way of thinking into your lifestyle, always being open and caring for everyone. Looking at life from others' perspectives, you remained open-minded in everything you did. You tried giving to your loved ones anything they needed or wanted, even if you didn’t have much. You just wanted to help and be the person that lit up their lives. This carried on into your relationship with Austin. 

You never imagined in a million years that you would be in a relationship with someone famous – with you coming from such an ordinary background. You met Austin in the city when you were studying abroad in Australia. You knew he was an actor, but you didn’t know he was working on Elvis. It was a year into your studying and a year into his role that you both realized that what you had was more than a friendship. 

He had you come over one day and you saw his Elvis-covered walls and black hair. You were ecstatic, thinking that he appreciated Elvis as much as you did. When you asked him about his newfound obsession, he looked at you sheepishly and responded only with a gentle shake of his head. After some more prodding, he relented and told you in a southern accent that he was playing the role of Elvis.

Being there to support your boyfriend in his new and exciting role, you also scolded him for not telling you sooner. He knew what a crazed fan you were of the rock and roll star, yet he held back such exciting information. As filming was wrapping up, you convinced your boyfriend to commemorate this achievement by getting a tattoo with you in memory of his role. You knew he was going to make it big and this role was the start of it all. The hard work, the dedication, and the passion he held for his work paid off in your eyes and you only hoped others would see that too.

The both of you drove up to the tattoo parlor and walked in a bit apprehensive, but excited. He deserved to get this momentous occasion marked and you were happy to get a tattoo of your favorite musician.

You agreed with Austin to get Elvis’s name tattooed in the shape of a heart on your forearms – just like Miley Cyrus. You held each other's hands and grinned as the tattoo artists did their jobs. It was when they had finished and you both looked at the artwork in front of you that you felt content. It was a chapter that had begun in your lives and was going to change them forever for the better. You always knew Elvis was with you in every aspect of your life and here he was – shining as bright as ever through your amazingly talented boyfriend's eyes.

[i-need-air]

"Dude" — Bakugou Katsuki x Reader.

Summary: Your former bully, Midori, has confessed her undying love for one of the most famous guys at U.A.; you're just venting gossiping about it with Mei, not knowing Bakugou Katsuki is right around the corner, listening;

Warnings: None. Well, Bakugou Katsuki having various anger induced strokes > the normal > no warnings; light crackfic? subtle ending;

Word count: 4.5k;

[ Part 2 ];

"She confessed to him." You grinned, throwing a bunch of fries into your mouth like the absolute animal you were.

Mei on the other hand continued her work on whatever in the world her new prototype, or "baby", was. Still, you had the honor of having half of her attention, which was a compliment to say at least.

She just smiled, shaking her head, leading you to continue, not knowing a blond was quite literally behind the corner, just outside the door leading to the support department, frown on his face.

"She came to class giggling like an idiot saying she's got a plan." You made a face into the distance, remembering your classmate's obnoxious squeal. "Ugh, she started telling the Divas how she's gonna have The Bakugou Katsuki in the bag." An ugly snort left your body, which earned an amused chuckle from Mei.

Both of you were pretty well known to be very good friends, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were both quite the social pariahs too. She was a little bit strange or weird, as some called her, but not for a single second she cared, which was the reason you admired the girl so much in the first place. Meanwhile you've taken the role of the bitch of the whole school by far. Sadly, you were placed in the same class as your archenemy, only increasing your chances of being called said endearing term.

Middle-school was a nightmare to say at least, getting bullied for your looks, the way you spoke or dressed, anything really as long as you were the one being mocked. And who was the one doing the bullying? Midori. Stunning, graceful, baby-faced Midori. Petite yet elegant, a devil in disguise. Whoever crossed her path suffered her malice unless she had something to gain from them.

And now, sweet Midori was in the U.A.'s General Studies, coinciding with you in the majority but not all classes. It had to do with the tragedy that your quirk was so rare that the principal Nezu had to adjust a new schedule just for you. Just kidding, it was amazing. The actual tragedy was seeing her face every day.

Back to your heartbreaking backstory and origin; time made you tough, comments made you build a wall so tall and thick nobody could crumble it. Backstab after backstab made you learn that not everyone has good intentions, but in your loneliness you found Hatsume Mei. So honest and dedicated, so raw and passionate. A good person. The type of person your parents promised you'd someway cross paths with and gain such a strong friendship that nothing could tear it apart.

Becoming friends with her was easy, kinda. It took snapping back at Midori when she started her normal bullying routine on Mei, which ignored it without a care. You stepped in and the rest is history. It did feel good though, calling her a pathetic bitch before turning to the stranger with a cool gadget in her hands to compliment it. And, since she's a sucker for her babies, you had to deal with an hour of sparkly eyes and monologues about her plans and prototypes.

Funny girl, Mei. You remember thinking but the following day you passed by her usual spot to fill your curiosity, asking if she did solve the problem she was complaining about.

"He was the one she was planning to ask out?" She screamed at you, head inside a giant metal gauntlet and the reason you two started talking about said man in particular. News were extra-fresh anyway.

"Oh, yeah!" You shook your head, ashamed to exist in the same general proximity as a person like your former bully. "He's gonna be so rich and famous!" A high pitched squeal left your mouth as you tried to copy her voice. "Poor fucking guy, if only he knew."

"But people know she's a bitch!" She screamed again, repairing or adjusting something with almost all of her body inside the gauntlet. A smile, genuine and soft this time, formed on your face. The pink-haired girl wasn't one to talk bad about others or even care, but it was clear she wasn't particularly fond with Midori either, although the conversation was more for you to vent rather than gossip. Sure it was.

"Like the people from the Hero Department even care about us, the commoners." With a roll of the eyes, you followed. "If he's smart, he'll run away. If he's an asshole, he could use her too."

"What do you mean?" Pink flocks of hair suddently submerged from the gadget, eyes curious zooming on you. That probably got more than 50% of her attention and it was a new personal goal while she was at the workshop.

With shrugged shoulders, your answer came nonchalant. "He could date her and dump her like she's nothing. Would serve her right for all the shit she's talking about him." But the only response you got was a short quizzical look, followed by your exagerated sigh. "She's talking shit about him constantly, but then says he's hot and that his personality doesn't matter anyway. Money, fame, looks. She has a whole fucking life-plan! Then calls him a rabid dog!"

"Woah—" that surprised her.

"Woah indeed! Insane. It's insane. I don't know the guy but no one deserves that shit." When you got no response, you continued your speech, munching in the food with passionate hunger, words coming out almost indistinguishable. "Doubt he'd play her though. He looks like a smart guy. I've seen the Sports Festival—" you picked up your burger, giving it heart eyes. "—and I've seen the news. He's probably a good guy too, the issue is people don't see that and... Well, I understand what's it to be judged... Not many have what it takes to be a real hero but he does. Hope he finds happiness in life." Much talk for someone that doesn't know shit about the guy in particular, but even so faint, your gut instinct was trained well enough to spot malice and he lacked that. "And a therapist." And there's the little shit in you that had to drop a cheeky comment.

Mei's gaze turned downwards and even if you could see her brain do mental gymnastics to solve whatever problem she had in front of her super-eyes, she also contemplated your words with great care.

"He comes here from time to time��" she grins, smacking the grenade looking gauntlet with her weird utensil. "I noticed you two are similar." Your face twisted, eyes wide towards the girl.

Similar how? He was loud, bold with a foul mouth, definitely needed a therapist for those unresolved anger issues... But he was also bright as in whenever he went, people looked in his direction, like he shined; obviously strong, also from what you've heard smart, popular, lucky to be surrounded by kind people. Example being that very nice pink girl that had a joyous conversation with you the very first day of school and, much to your surprise, continued greeting and having sweet small talks with you every single time you saw each other. Or the blond haired guy that showed off a little bit too much and made dumb flirty comments with no bad intentions, the same blond that waved at you with enthusiasm when you'd cross paths. There was the red-head, Kirishima, that was an absolute gentleman, opening doors for you even if you had two functioning hands and smiled so bright it made your corneas burn, or also the dark haired guy, Sero, that you've seen helping literally anyone in need around the school campus with an easy going attitude and gentle grins. Bakugou Katsuki was surrounded by good people, good heroes just as amazing as him and if they liked him, he must've definitely had some good in him, right? Another point appeared in your mental presentation about the brash hero in the making was that he was way too attractive but the wise burried deep inside of you made that particular point dissappear. No need to think about that. Overall you weren't even remotely similar. Not even close. Two completely different human beings from two completely different worlds that would never collide. With that being said, there was the small chance that Mei hinted for you to get a therapist too, who knows.

"How even—"

"I mean!" She screwed something in place. "I mean in your— determination?"

"I wouldn't know that." You muttered.

"He screams I'm gonna be the best every time he's here—"

"Cute..." You vomit that endearment without thinking, but thankfully it got ignored.

"—and it always reminds me of you." A small chuckle left your mouth.

"Don't make fun of me."

"You say it too~"

"I just heal, Mei, it's not the same." Principal Nezu's speech, the speech he gave your parents months into the first year as they found themselves aware of your power made you hold your words. You had it in you. The potential. If incredible people like your teachers, like Shuzenji Chiyo or Principal Nezu twisted things around for your quirk, for how rare and powerful it is, you'd accept it.

"But you're gonna be the best healer ever, aren't you?" She taunted.

"Of course. Which reminds me—!"

"Hmm?" Her attention faded away slightly, but it wasn't a problem.

She cheered, both at you and at her finished masterpiece and proceeded to eat too, passing through the lunch hour without interruption.

"Recovery Girl is putting me on active duty at the infirmary from now on. Finally!"

Innocent pale purple eyes stared into deep crimson ones, furrowed brows covering them.

—

Bakugou Katsuki wasn't one to enjoy being annoyed or surprised and this extra managed to make him feel both things in a short notice.

Everyone around him froze in fear or wonder, awaiting his response without breathing or moving an inch. Meanwhile Whoever-she-was held a pink envelope in front of him, a perfume too sweet coming from it making him want to literally gag in the spot.

Another thing the boy did not appreciate was to have someone bullshit him. His senses were telling him to back off, alarms ringing in his head and those purple eyes held hidden intentions; he wasn't having any of it.

"Fuck off." He snapped, yet his stance was casual as he refused to move out of her way since she was the one that had the audacity to run into him.

Some gasps, even coming from his so-called idiotic friends, could be heard and an indignant Bakubro behind him as he got slapped in the shoulder but he did not care. Not until her lips started to tremble as she retreated her confession letter towards her chest dramatically. His eyebrow started to twitch at the sight.

It was a spectacle for anyone surrounding him.

"What's going on?" Shushes and whispers.

"Bakugou Katsuki just got a confession!" Gossip.

"What!? Who?!" Confusion.

"You said Bakugou Katsuki?!" Shock.

"Oh, she's pretty!" Awe.

"He told her to Fuck off! What an asshole!" Outrage.

"Is that Midori?" Surprise.

"The nerve—" Anger.

"Midori from—" Disbelief.

"Oh, my God, she's really doing it~!" Giggles.

He frowned deeper. If people were to talk about him, they should be talking about all the crap he's been doing and all the lives he saved, not because of a fake bimbo decided to cross his path.

Bakugou wasn't stupid either. With time he knew these things would eventually come in his direction, stuff he'd have to deal with in the future as fame would take over, but not now. He did not have time to entertain this show anyway.

There was only one destination in his mind and she was keeping him in the middle of the whole school cafeteria with prying eyes on them both.

"Bakugou, do something, she's about to cry!" Dunce Face harshly whispered, but turned towards the white haired girl that looked devastated in front of them. "Ignore him! Ask me out, I would never make you cry!"

He rolled his eyes so back in his head it almost hurt. With a need to hurl the food he just ate, he made a step to leave the scene but small hands with claw-like fingernails gripped his arm and he looked at her in utter disgust.

"No, I would never! He—" she sniffled but had no tears in her eyes. He gave her a scowl, trying to take his arm out of her grip but she scratched him in place with her tiny rat hands. "You're the one I love! I—" her bangs covered her face as she continued her show.

"Bakugou! Dude! Do something!" Shitty Hair said, his dumb and blind trust in people buying the act. A vein almost popped on Bakugou's forehead.

"I fucking said—" he pulled his arm so hard she fell on her knees by his side. "Fuck. Off."

Another set of gasps filled the room.

"Bakugou!"

One thing he did not want, even if he could tell it was a foul theater, was to hurt somebody. His asshole act ended at that but his pride stopped him from saying anything.

Glancing to see if she's hurt, Pink Idiot was by her side, helping her up and asking way too many fucking questions.

"No, I'm fine..." she said with such a meek voice he scoffed, also hearing all the shit everyone around him was talking.

"He's such a brute."

"What a mean guy—"

"She's crying!"

"Fucking asshole."

He gritted his teeth.

After the disaster with the League of Villains in the first year, people started to respect him for who he was yet one single, minuscule shit like this and they were all at his jugular.

"I took Bakugou-san by surprise." She excused his behavior to Ashido, which then suggested they should eat lunch together sometimes to make up for the trouble after apologizing in his behalf.

"Yeah, we'd love to have you around! Isn't that right, Bakugou?" The apologetic and almost pleading voice of his blond friend, if he ever was going to call him that anymore, just made him bare his teeth. If they wanted to get played like fools it was their problem, not his.

And that's how he found himself eavesdropping on the weirdo and an extra.

And with a single "Whatever." he left the cafeteria, going to check if his gauntlets were ready, annoyance oozing off him, making the sea of people part from his path. Except he didn't notice you rushing away a little bit in front of him, holding a bag of food, all amused.

Why the fuck was everyone talking about him? Can't they fucking keep his pretty name outta their mouths? With time and without finding a reason why the hell he was glued in place, he listened attentively, his suspicions confirmed and his ego hurt, but whoever was talking about him calmed his nerves a lot. He just needed to put a face to that voice. Just to see who's gossiping about him, nothing else.

—

With a full belly and a whole afternoon to study by Recovery Girl's side, you marched towards the infirmary after you bid your farewell to Mei. There was still time to walk around, grab something sweet for later and save any poor soul that Midori decided to sink her teeth in. It was common at this point, you getting in between her and her victims and taking the hit, yet somehow also being called a bitch by everyone. That's how high-school worked. She did have friends and they spread any word she spat. Vultures.

It was fine though. Hero [Y/N] is there to save the day no matter what. You scoffed at your own stupidity, turning the corner just to step on a leg that was sprawled on the floor.

He clicked his tongue, getting up with no worry in the world, but made no action to leave, settling for observing and analyzing you way too intensely.

"Watch where the fuck you're going, idiot." The man of the hour, the guy you've defended in front of your friend just screamed at you as he dusted off the imprint of your shoe left on his pants. Meanwhile you just paled in place before regaining your composture.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" You said, tilting your head with a frown, already knowing you will not apologize.

Unimpressed by what was going on, even if you truly couldn't point out what really was going on, you made an attempt to move past him towards the vending machines not far behind, but he caught your arm in a firm grip.

You blinked stupidly at the skin contact.

"Heard you were talkin' shit."

Your stomach dropped. Legs almost gave up too if it weren't for his iron grip holding you still. In the silence and at the satisfaction of the reaction you let out, he smirked and raised his chin, only Mei's singing voice coming from her workshop could be heard. Realization hit you. Hit you? Bitchslapped you in the face and left a mark for sure, because your cheeks started feeling heated, tingly.

He dragged you away, maybe to have the privacy to murder you in peace, but your common sense kicked in and you came back from the land of the mortified.

Much like he did before, action you saw with your two own eyes and repeated, you pulled out of his strong grip and stared as he turned towards you, mouth already opened to probably eat you alive.

"I wasn't talking shit about you, dude." You quickly spoke first.

"You don't fucking know me." He growled back, taking a step towards you but like hell you'd back down.

"Don't need to be besties to say what I said." Without understanding why he was so agitated, the only thing left to do after this beautiful turn of events was to defend the honor remaining in you, so you raised your chin to be at par with him. The action clearly took him by surprise, making him glare more, if even possible.

"I don't fucking appreciate when extras talk about me behind my back!"

"I don't give a shit what you appreciate, dude." Your laugh was the complete opposite of his menacing loud voice, like ying and yang.

"Bakugou, the name's fucking Bakugou, you extra!" Bakugou recovered quickly at your snappy self, getting more bothered as you talked.

"Okay, dude." His hands fisted, shaking in place as he stared you down but did not continue.

Silence; the hallway was now filled with silence as he boiled in his own anger and as you raised your brows in confusion. Now what? Was it time to leave? You've never met anyone like him, this was peculiar—

"NOW IT'S WHEN YOU FUCKING TELL ME YOUR SHITTY NAME, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!"

A second passes; two; at the third you're wheezing your lungs out, laughing at the ridiculousness of the scenario.

"What the fuck are you LAUGHING AT?!" His voice got louder just to top your howling. You did not expect that.

Through a sigh, regaining your breath, you say "It's [L/N] [Y/N].", seeing him retreat in his form and cross his arms. He was still seizing you up.

"If you have shit to say to me, say it to my fucking face, understood?"

"I—... Say what now?"

"I—." He copied in a mock, getting an incredulous look from you. "You stupid or what?" Your upper lip lifted, ready to cuss him to infinity and beyond but he continued. "Like about that bitch from before and shit—" even if he still was loud, he placed his hands in his pockets and looked more interested in the way the tiles on the wall were placed instead of your person. "An' like you told the weirdo—"

No time to be shocked at the implied; his last word enraged you, making your body shake with rage. "Don't fucking dare to call her a weirdo ever again."

Like a challenge, he snapped his face back at you, ready to take it.

"Or what?"

"Listen here, fucker—" now that was a nice surprised face he was pulling. "Just because I gave you a pat on the back in there doesn't mean you can disrespect people just because you think you're the shit. You're not. Now get out of my fucking way." With a final push to his shoulder, your mind was focused on going to the infirmary, steam almost coming out of your nostrils.

"Hey, extra!"

Ignore him, ignore him, ignore him. went through your mind, marching away without a glance back. Not until—

"[L/N]! You're a healer, hah?" That's interesting. He stood where you left him, watching.

"What's it to you?"

Someone sane would've left at your tone but this guy walked towards you then showed you his arms, recently scratched. Images came back to you about the cafeteria incident but did not underst—... did he want to get healed?

You scoffed.

"They're scratches, dude."

"They annoy me. Now heal." All the energy you had left in your body was channeled towards the slow blink you threw at him, at which he scoffed. But they did look nasty— and Midori did them. It was a curse by itself to look down at your own arms and remember that face, so the guardian angel in you decided to take control and be the better person.

Gentle fingers barely tapped his muscular arm. Smile crept up on your lips, feeling absolutely delighted at his obvious stiffness at the skin contact and the clear interest in his eyes, specially when the scratches started disappearing into nothing, leaving smooth silk skin under.

"Hey— Wha— Where the fuck do you think you're going?!" raspy voice got lost in the distance and one thought in your head.

"Want a lollipop for being a good patient too?" You mock and his face explodes in all shapes of red. It would've been great to mock him more, enthralled by his reactions, but with that you turned and left, ignoring the tingling under your fingers that should not be there and your stomping heart.

Did he wait all the lunchbreak to talk to you?

—

A long queue was ahead of you, earning the longest sigh out of your lungs. Life was pain sometimes. Mei couldn't hang out, food was too far away, the delicious croissants Lunch Rush made ran out as far as you could see. Pain. Just pure pain.

And disappointment. When you walked away with your food in a bag, maybe to sit under a tree and enjoy some peace and quiet, you saw her. Midori sitting at a table you did not expect. At the same table where Ashido Mina, Denki Kaminari, Kirishima Eijirou and Hanta Sero sat at. Good people. Honest, good people about to get bitten by a snake. If she was there, then Bakugou decided—

"You. Sit."

Thinking about the boy somehow summoned him behind you. Food in hand and bored expression on his face, he passed you not without giving you a stink eye. Indeed, disappointment.

You shrugged, trying not to pay much attention to the pang in your heart as you moved forward, but a voice— his voice stopped you in your tracks.

"You. Get the fuck out of my face." His growl made everyone around him turn to watch, you being one of them. There was no excuse to what came next, no way to run away past it and dissappear. He nodded his head at you out of all people and pointed at the seat still occupied by Midori; her purple eyes big, shocked, running between your frame and the blond's.

Do you know what it felt to be put in the spotlight without warning? Well, congratulations because that was your life now.

"Ba—Bakugou-san?" Her voice, now highed up and meek followed, then a small scream as Bakugou slammed his food on the table. His friends sat there, wide-eyed, but made no attempt to interrupt.

"Did I fucking stutter, bitch? Or want me to turn into a rabid dog for fucking real?"

You choked on your own spit, bag of goodies about to drop on the floor once you saw her horrified face. She knew that he knew. And when her pale eyes, filled with sudden malice, act dropped, turned to you it's when you realized she figured out where he found out from.

Not like you cared, really, but the little shit that always had to poke out every time she was in the same room as you decided to finally show up, making you wave and send her a wink.

"I said MOVE!" now— that growl, raspy and filled with anger startled her. The orange juice in her hands spilled all over her uniform and woke her up from whatever delusion she was in. With zero time to reconsider, every belonging of hers was picked up with trembling hands and she ran away to her group of cockroaches.

A smile was already settled on your face; your brain was storing that whole interaction deep within, ready to bring it back up whenever you needed a good laugh.

Life was pain and disappointment, you say? No. Life was great. Or more importantly, Bakugou was. Not like he needed to know. But he was a decent guy as he proved—

"THE FUCK YOU STANDING THERE LIKE A DUMBASS?! I SAID SIT!" —to be a pain in the fucking ass and the bane of your existence.

You gave him a face then turned to walk away, even rushing more when you heard his chair screeching on the floor. The exit was so close, so near, freedom never felt this great, the sunlight kissing your skin giving you a new hope to live. But not for long because he grabbed your hand and started dragging you towards his table.

Your hand was in his hand and he was dragging you—

Your hand— his big, warm, a little bit sweaty hand—

How could you ruin such a beautiful moment? Eyes on you two, shocked, silence, his adorable red ears being the only thing you could see as he was completely in front of you, still dragging you towards his friends...

"Did you wait all lunchbreak yesterday to talk to me?" You collided into him as you finished the sentence, his way taller form stiffened so much you felt you single-handedly broke Bakugou Katsuki for good.

But when he turned... Oh, when he turned. Biggest deer-caught-in-the-headlights eyes you've ever seen on anyone, cheeks painted so red you almost melted in the spot, lips trembling as his head worked a thousand miles per second just to find a retort. And you prepared yourself for—

"NO, I FUCKING DIDN'T! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU FUCKING EXTRA? I'D NEVER WAIT FOR SOMEONE LIKE YO— ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!" Mina's waving hand caught your attention and smiled at her. Your hand was still in his, gripped harshly as he still hasn't noticed it's still there.

"Hey! [L/N], long time no see!" She cheered, ignoring the living shit out of her screaming friend, like she's used to it.

"FUCKING LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU—"

"Hey, chill, dude. Now let go of my hand, I wanna talk to Ashido." You smiled sweetly, making extra effort to wave your linked hands arond until he finally noticed. He zapped his hand away so fast, like he's been bitten by a wild animal. Maybe even a rabid dog, if you will.

You couldn't ignore your own flustered state as you walked past him, giving him a one up, adding the absolute scandalized face he had into the back of your mind for safekeeping.

"Come sit with us!" The pinkette offered.

"Oh, hey, I know you! You're by Hatsume's workshop all the time!" Kirishima intervened with a surprised face that broke into a grin. "Nice to officially meet—"

"I fucking said." he appeared, sitting in front of you. "My name's Bakugou."

"Ok, dude, but I'm talking to someon—"

"BAKUGOU KATSUKI!" Could be heard from the stratosphere.

Note: I just realized Midori means Green [ fucking duh ] but I'm not gonna change the name or her description. I think her parents fucking up her name was the start of many accidents leading into the Midori we all know and hate. Also, I know you understand. We all know a Midori in our lives. Much love.

Note 2: I keep editing it but tumblr dot com slash Install App on Phone fucks my editing and switches paragraphs all around! If you find any PLEASE tell me, I'd really appreciate it!!!

[quiteriana]

speculation

not to be a Dumb Bitch but Silver is constantly suppressing himself and watering himself down, so much so that it's to the point where he appears so numb and apathetic because he really doesn't know himself or know his own personality and instead tries to find himself through the people in his life that he values. He tries to do what others wish him to do, and be who others wish him to be. He lacks his own motivations and individuality, and instead, he takes on the motivation of those around him, trying to fill himself with somebody else (the people he values), for he feels as though he, himself, isn’t worth much among others. He hallows out his own identity and numbs away every emotion because he feels as though he is too inedequate and then fills those voids with other people of who, to him, are the most valuable and vital in his eyes.

That "person he values" is Malleus. It's literally Malleus and idc how you interpret their relationship, you CANNOT DENY that Silver is bending himself to what he perceives is Malleus's need.

Silver values Lilia as well, but with Lilia it's different because he... loves him. They love each other, and Silver knows that he will always recieve unconditional love from Lilia, and his [Silver's] own love is shown through the way he tries so hard not to cause trouble for Lilia and how he wishes so badly for his happiness and health. Silver and Lilia love each other and they know that the other loves them (how could they not?) so Silver doesn't really have much reason to... "bend himself to the liking of Lilia" because they have such a strong foundation within one another.

But with Malleus, it isn't like that. Not at all. Silver doesn't know if he will always receive approval by Malleus, but he views him so highly, he values him so much, and he wants that approval, and thus he tries so hard to be that person he thinks Malleus needs him to be. He loses himself in the identity of a "royal guard" because he thinks that's the role he's meant to fill, and he replaces his entire person with that mere duty. He doesn't realize that his role of a guard is just a part of who he is and not the entirety, and he waters down all other aspects of himself to cling to this one identity until he's empty.... Seriously, he is almost nobody outside of this role. How do you guys not see that this is what he's doing to himself...

Silver replaces his own desires and dreams (and really... his personality) with his duty and role of serving Malleus in attempt to overcome that inevitable feeling of being less than and insignificant among all those that he’s grown up around, and among everything he's ever known (being a human among faes... try and tell me that didn’t screw with his esteem when he was young). He goes about life so passively, and so peacefully, for he wishes only to do as he must to please the people he admires so much. He hollows out and waters down his own desires so as not to be inconvenient for Lilia, who he adores, and Malleus, who he devotedly dedicates himself to. He loses himself and he forgets himself; he falls asleep to himself in the sense of his apathy and (the lack of truly feeling) his own emotions; filling his personality with his duty, and erasing the line between them while simultaneously trying to keep peace everywhere he stumbles, trying so hard not to be an inconvenience. Pushing himself further down, denying himself until he’s lost himself because somewhere in his life, he became so worried about displeasing and losing the ones he loves and views so highly because of the person he truly is, and he (unknowingly) combats this by suppressing his own desires and his own person, and instead replacing all of that with the qualities he thinks are more valuable for the role he feels he must fill for Malleus.

In terms of motivation, with Silver being around Sebek so much, he has most likely turned Sebek's motivation into his own since they have the same goal [to protect Malleus]. In a way, Silver feeds off the energy and passion that Sebek exudes for his role as a guard, and he uses that to get him through his position of the same role. By pretending and truly believing that Sebek's motivation is also his own motivation, he's able to continue and continue persevering in this duty he's been raised to fill. But it isn't his own. Sebek's goals are not Silver’s goals and their passions are not the same, but Silver has likely been watering down his own self for so long that he does not even see this or realize.

And he keeps on endlessly tuning himself more and more into what he thinks Malleus needs him to be. Because Malleus is the most important authority in his life; that's what he's been raised to believe, and thus he tries so hard to fit the mold of what Malleus needs in seek of approval and closeness to the person who's been made so important to him--so much that he pushes aside his own desires and his own personality in order to make room for whatever qualities he thinks Malleus needs. And unconsciously, he ends up incorporating bits of Malleus into himself and his own identity more and more because of this value that he's placed on him. Silver's forever glare? His subtly similar haircut to Malleus? These aren't him; these are not aspects of who Silver truly is or expressions of his own personality; these are things that he's lost himself in and has tried to take on the qualities of who he values because he doesn't know what he wants and he doesn't know himself. And the saddest thing is that he's likely not even aware that he is doing all this; it happens so unconsciously as a result of seeing little value in his own self.

For the sake of trying to make a clear point, I'm going to try and compare Silver to the other two hero-based characters: Rook and Kalim. Rook and Kalim, themselves, are actually very, very similar in my opinion in terms of their positivity, endless optimism, and their ability and desire to make others feel valued and recognized. Silver and Kalim are both kind hearted and gentle, but Kalim is obviously much more forward than Silver. Kalim actually has... personality. He has his motivations and he has his interests and he has the things he feels passionately about. Silver... doesn't. He doesn't have those things of his own. He shares with Kalim kindness and a desire to please others, but he lacks all ambition to act in the ways his heart desires; he doesn't even know what his heart desires. Probably, he has never thought of it before, as his role and his future was always right there for him: to be Malleus's guard and protector, and he accepted that with no refute, he accepted it happily and he put his efforts into being... what other people told him to be. Kalim is similar in that he easily accepts and goes along with the suggestions of others; he is also quite easily influenced by others, but he is his own person as well... he is his own person while Silver has lost who he is. (Silver is literally the lyrics "I do as I am told until I don't know who I want to be")

And for Rook. I actually see a lot more similarity between Silver and Rook. They are both peace-loving people; however Rook is a peacemaker while Silver is a peacekeeper. Rook goes out of his way to make peace and mediate between refuting people (Vil and Epel). He does so in a way that makes both parties seem heard and valued, and he does not stop until he has done so. He is stubbornly persistent in making peace, which is really such a wonderful thing in my opinion. Silver is almost there. He possesses the same desire and ache to have peace, but he does not work so hard for it. When he sees people opposing, he does try to say something to mediate, but as soon as someone bites back and refuses that peace he's trying to bring, he keeps silent. He says nothing more. He does this as a way to not further contribute to the conflict (because if he tries to mediate where it isn't desires, that will just cause more problem). He is so so so passive that he does not push through with the good things he is trying to do, and he settles instead for simply keeping some of that peace instead of going through and creating it where it needs to be. He settles for less than what he aims for in fear if creating more conflict.

Do you see what I'm trying to say? Even Silver's valuable and strong qualities (his compassion and kindness and ability to mediate between others) are being washed away by himself and himself only because these qualities are so different from what he sees in the people he values [MALLEUS], and so he doesn't think they're important or useful and he finds them even meaningless because these qualities are his and his alone; they are different and apart from the rest of the Diasomnia members but it's BECAUSE the others lack them that he sees them as invaluable. He sees himself and he sees his differences as bad things, and so he tries to rid of them and rid of himself to instead be more like the people he does value. He completely washes away all of his individuality (even the GOOD things that make him STRONGER than others) because he doesn't want to deviate or be too different from the people he values. He is pushing himself down, he is watering himself away, he is numbing every ability for the sake of filling himself with the needs of others [again, Malleus!]

I also want to briefly compare Kalim/Rook/Silver in terms of their grounded-ness. I feel as though all three of them are not quite in touch with reality. Kalim, I think, is quite capable of really living and feeling in the present moment, but his lack of sense-of-reality comes when he thinks too positively of things, not quite grasping the density of the things around him. Rook, I think, is very similar, but he is more aimless and less present. I think he stumbles without any real direction, but he focused his mind on seeing beauty (sight... paying attention to any of the 5 senses assists in grounded-ness, at least for me), but I feel like he could also get too much in his head at times and lose that stability in favor of gravity. But, it's temporary, and I think he is able to pull himself into reality quite easily when need be. However, with Silver, he... exceeds aimlessness. It's haziness, as if going through life in a fog. Only half-alive. Not just sleeping most the time, but even awake, his mind is out of focus and lost. He is not just out of touch with reality, he is out of touch with himself, and unlike Kalim and Rook, he has no energy or presence anywhere at all. "Almost always everywhere, never quite anywhere." That's how he lives his life. Asleep and half-alive.

Silver is honestly... a vacant shell for others people to flow through him. For others, this is good because they benefit from it, but for himself it's horrible because he numbs himself with it--his own emotions and even his sense of self. He becomes empty of his own identity, filled instead with the energy of others. Completely groundless and succumbing entirely to the gravity of his mind.

Not to mention that sleepiness is a common trait of people who regularly suppress their own personalities. Though they might not do much actively, they still take up a lot of their own energy to be that shell for others to fill, and they also stress themselves by doing this as well but their apathy and detachment from reality doesn't allow them to properly feel that stress, so it translates instead into tiredness and sleepiness, and it's actually common for these kinds of people to be napping most of the day. It's also literally "falling asleep" to their own desires and ambitions, their own feelings and own identity. It's a way of numbing themselves in order to be filled by others; like this is literally a real thing that happens to people, and I have no doubt in my mind that this is what's happening to Silver as well.

ALSO HIS NAME. his name is... Silver. That's all. No last name, no way of saying exactly where he belongs. Simple, bland, and separate from everyone. Just Silver. It's literally just his hair color. There's no sentimental significance in his name at all. And he... accepts this. He accepts this as his only identification with no question or fight.

I know this seems like such a minor detail and that I'm maybe looking too deep into it, but I promise you I am not. I promise there is more to his name than just "a fairy couldn't choose a name for a baby human". Sure, that's likely where the name came from, but the fact that Silver at his current age just accepts this holds so much significance. It shows that he. does. not. care. He does not care about who he is. He does not care about his own person; he has completely washed away his own identity that calling him "Silver" is good enough for him. No meaning behind it. Just an empty word to be addressed by. Do you understand how sad this is? He sees himself as nothing special--so much to the point where he almost becomes... nobody... for he waters down every individual thing about himself so that others can fill him instead.

How do y'all not see this in Silver... Seriously how do y'all not see this in Silver?? this is who he is; he is so empty and void because he is constantly hallowing himself out for the sake of others really HOW DO YOU NOT SEE he is drowning himself... Silver is drowning

I'm sorry agaksgahsk I know this was way longer than maybe necessary but thank you so much for sticking to the end 💗

Also, I'm really not trying to... enforce my ideas about Silver onto anyone. People have their own ways of interpreting characters (especially since we don't really know much about Silver as of yet), and I totally get it. Every interpretation is beautiful; I want you to know. I'm just trying to get my own thoughts out there in the hopes that someone else might also understand and agree. To me, this is the truth of who he is 💗💗 but anything can be possible! thank you for reading this