#i'm so confused. the joke is also. unfunny

[watchingwhathappens]

where does the jared bath bomb meme come from. IT'S NOT EVEN A FUNNY FANDOM JOKE I'M JUST CONFUSED

[babyleostuff]

the grudge | jeon wonwoo

based on "the grudge" by Olivia Rodrigo (would highly recommend listening to it while reading)

genre | angst word count | 2.1k

author's note | i'm in love with GUTS (but she also broke my heart with this album) -> PART 2

I have nightmares each week 'bout that Friday in May One phone call from you and my entire world was changed Trust that you betrayed, confusion that still lingers Took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers

“I’m sorry. It wouldn’t have worked out either way.”

These were the last words you heard from the love of your life. 

Over the phone. 

You were supposed to have a date that day. He just came home from his schedules overseas, and you couldn’t wait to see him again. To hug him. To kiss him.  

It was a perfectly sunny day, kids were running freely around their neighbourhoods, happy about the upcoming weekend, and you were just as happy as them, getting ready with a childlike smile, probably putting too much effort in your appearance - you even put on the dress he bought you for your birthday, just to see his pleased smile. 

The picnic basket you prepared stood ready at your kitchen counter, filled with Wonwoo’s favourtie snacks and the wine you’d always drink on your stay-at-home nights. You were in the middle of rummaging through your room to find a blanket, when you heard a familiar noise of your ringing phone. 

With a grin on your face and a beating heart, you almost ran to the kitchen, hoping to see Wonwoo’s picture on the screen. And you did. 

What you didn’t know was that that phone call would crush your entire world in seconds. 

“Hey, baby. Are you ready? I can pick you up if you want,” One could tell how happy and excited you were by your voice only. 

“About that,” you never heard his voice being so monotone and… cold. 

Something was wrong, and you couldn’t help the way your hands started to tremble in anticipation of what was about to happen. 

It took exactly two minutes for Wonwoo to turn your happy day to one of the worst in your life. The confusion as the line went silent clouded your mind, your brain simply didn’t want to let you believe in what you’d just heard. 

It was a joke, right? He’d call you in a second to laugh about how he lost a bet to Mingyu, and that it was just an unfunny joke. Right? 

But as you stood there, in the middle of your kitchen, with your phone tightly clutched in your hand, there were no calls, no messages. Nothing. 

Your gaze lingered on the basket, and now, when you looked at it, it almost mocked you - seemingly laughing at how pathetic you were. 

Just like that, Wonwoo took everything you loved and crushed it in between his fingers. 

And I try to be tough, but I wanna scream How could anybody do the things you did so easily?

The next few days felt like you were living in a daze. You’d wake up and the first thing you’d do was to reach to the other side of the bed, expecting a familiar body laying there, which you’d cuddle up to - like you did every morning. 

“Wonwoo, I’m cold,” you muttered, your mind still asleep. But as you touched the pillow placed next to you, the bubble popped and you were brought back to reality. 

The reality where Wonwoo wasn’t by your side. 

“Five more minutes baby,” those were the words you’d never hear again. That’s when the silent tears would start to fall, dropping onto the empty cold pillow, and the thought of why? Why did he leave? 

Every morning you’d spend on thinking how the hell did all of this happen? When did he become so unhappy to break up with you over a single phone call? Was he that miserable? 

But the more you tried to find an answer the more unclear it all became to you, was it really that easy for him to end things with you? And it all made you want to scream - scream out of pain, out of frustration, out of the powerlessness you felt. 

You tried to go about your day as usual because maybe finding a routine in your new reality would help you heal your broken heart, but with every step you took, your mind reminded you that the one thing you looked forward to the most was gone. When you thought you’d finally taken one step forward, your thoughts brought you three steps back. 

“Here baby, let me,” you laughed, taking the wooden spoon from Wonwoo before he’d burn the eggs completely. “I think I should stick to making breakfast, and you to giving me my reward kisses,” grinning at him as you took his place at the stove. 

“Yeah, I think that would be the best,” he smiled, placing a peck on your cheek, as his arms wrapped around your waist. 

Those mornings would never come back. 

The arguments that I've won against you in my head In the shower, in the car, and in the mirror before bed Yeah, I'm so tough when I'm alone, and I make you feel so guilty

“Would you stop acting like a child and tell me what’s wrong?” You can’t remember a time where you’d raise your voice at your boyfriend, but lately it felt like this was the only thing you were doing. Fighting. 

“You know I’m not the only one in the wrong here, so don’t act like a saint,” Wonwoo threw back, acting as annoyed as you. The situation was getting out of hand, but neither of you did anything to stop it, if anything, you only added more fuel to the fire. 

“I’m trying my best, Wonwoo. I never complain when you leave for tours or schedules, or when you come home at night, when you don’t even have the energy to say good night.” 

“You know that that’s not the only issue here, baby,” the endearment felt like poison coming out of his mouth like that. It hurt you more than anything else. 

“It’s not, but it seems like I’m the only one trying here. Do you really want to act like a dick and let our whole relationship go to waste just because you can’t get your shit together?”

That was probably how things would have gone if you had the chance to talk to him. But you didn’t. Wonwoo didn’t try to contact you again, not even through a message or a friend. 

“What did you expect though?” You thought to yourself. He broke up with you over the fucking phone, something you’d never expect to happen with him. 

You’d spend endless nights in the shower picturing how you would have screamed at him, finally letting out how hard it was for you too - how hard it was to fall asleep in a cold bed, how painful was it to see him only over the phone, how all of the unread text messages because he was too busy to read them broke your heart - you’d do all of that just to make him feel guilty, even a little bit. 

You felt like you could do anything under the hot steam of water, but the second you entered your bedroom all of your toughness faded away, and you were left alone in the room that held so many, now painful, memories. 

I try to be tough, I try to be mean But even after all this, you're still everything to me And I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine

It would be a lie to say you didn’t miss him. Every ounce of your soul and body craved for his touch, begged for a second of time to see even a small bit of his perfect face, crying out to be held by his strong arms. 

And it didn’t help that everything at home reminded you of him, bringing back the beautifully painful memories of all of the times you’d spend together. 

All of his clothes that he never came back for were still in your closet - the hoodies that would keep you warm on cold December nights, when you’d cuddle under a blanket together to watch a movie, his favourite snacks in your cabinet, that he’d always munch on while gaming, the books on your nightstand, which he would read to you on sleepless nights, his gentle voice unburdening you from all of your worries. 

But you couldn’t bring yourself to throw those stuff away. No matter how much looking at them hurt, you knew the second you’d throw them away you would break only more. 

You used to get so annoyed by the music that played in the background, as Wonwoo played Animal Crossing, staring at the small screen for hours, doing anything but focusing on you. Now you missed the goddamn sound, and you'd kill to have him next to you on your bed occupied by the cute animation of the game. 

You started to regret all of the times when you tried to persuade him to turn it off and do something with you instead, because yes, he didn’t pay direct attention to you, but he always had an arm thrown over your shoulder or one of his hands on your thigh, and he looked so adorable whenever he’d laugh. 

How pathetic would you be if you bought the game for yourself now? 

You realised that a lot of things that used to annoy you, you were missing now. Like his glasses that would always magically disappear. Wonwoo always forgot where he last placed them, and for some reason you’d always know where they were.

“What would you do without me, hm?” you laughed at his scrunched nose, as you placed his missing glasses on his nose, kissing it lightly. 

“I don’t know. Good thing I’ll have you forever then.” 

This felt like a dream now, like a distant memory that would never come back. 

Because it wouldn’t. 

As you sat down on the sofa under the blanket you used to share, you hesitantly, with a shaky finger clicked on the gallery app, opening another memory lane you weren’t sure you wanted to go down through.

As you scrolled through the album you made specifically for Wonwoo, past all of those months together, you couldn’t help but let out a broken cry. All of your dates, trips, family gatherings, parties - they were all there frozen in the photos, and every single one of them felt like an ice cold dagger to your heart, piercing it with a pain you’d never be able to describe. 

You looked so happy. Wonwoo looked so happy. 

You stopped at a picture that you could clearly remember taking. It was right after he came back from the States and you had one of your first dates after a while of being apart. 

Almost like that Friday in May when he left you. 

You decided to stay at home, to let him rest and get used to the time change, so you chose to play some video games that you always sucked at, but played nonetheless, because you knew how happy they made Wonwoo. You lost for the hundredth time and you couldn’t help but let out a whine out of frustration. 

“Are you happy? I lost again, this sucks!” you whined, throwing the controller on the table, before burying yourself in the blanket. 

“You almost had it baby, I promise you’ll win the next round,” he laughed, and reached for you under the blankets, caressing your back. 

“Mhm, sure,” you murmured angrily. You knew Wonwoo was smiling, and you were sure he was amused by your sulky behaviour, but that always meant one thing. 

“Will you feel better if I give you some kisses?” he asked, and giggled at the way your head immediately peaked up from under the blanket. “Yes, that will work, thank you very much.” 

But instead of leaning in as you anticipated, he lunged his body at you, caging you in a tight embrace of his strong arms and wide shoulders. At this point you both were a laughing mess, so you quickly reached for your phone and opened the camera. 

You stared at the photo now, with tears in your eyes and an empty heart. The way you were both smiling, so genuinely happy, made your heart clench with pain. His dark hair, that grew out enough to curl a bit at the ends, his glasses that slid down his nose, and his smile that you could stare at for days. 

You’ve lost all of it. 

It takes strength to forgive, but I'm not quite sure I'm there yet

You were sure that some day, in a distant future, you’d be able to forgive him, to look him straight in the eye and say “it’s okay, I forgive you.” and move on with a smile on your face. 

But you were not there yet. 

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @eightlightstar @itza-meee @immabecreepin

[stinkysam]

Serge “Frenchie” - Same difference ?

Warning : none

Genre : fluff

Synopsis : “I have a silly little thought about fluff with a male reader where Frenchie and him bond because Frenchie is french(from France) and reader is French-canadian(from Quebec)” - anon

Reader : male (he/you)

A/N : I'm not from Québec so I tried to find words/sentences the reader could use to make it more obvious where the reader is from but it's hard. I can't Google translate it 😔 I hope it's not too much tho but it was fun looking for sayings and shit // FYI the word Nice is also the name of a big city in France. Also I hope my pareil/paris joke lands ._.

You were presented to the rest of the boys shortly after they regained their anti-supes activity.

Butcher never questioned where you came from, so they all thought you were from around here as well, that is, until you got to Frenchie.

You awkwardly sat there on the couch in front of the TV next to Kimiko. Hughie, M.M, Butcher and Annie were gone.

Only you, Kimiko, Frenchie and 3 or 4 dudes hiding some white powder in various objects to export them somewhere were there.

You turned your head back, bored, watching what Frenchie was doing.

You listened closely and you could hear some music playing in French. Was it Koba laD you could hear ?

That made you wonder. Was it a random French song in his playlist ? Was he French ? Or was it both ? The way he spoke was weird too, he had like a small accent… Could he be French ?

You stood up, taking in your surroundings, stopping to let a guy pass, before walking to Frenchie slowly and looking at what his hands were working on. It looked like a bomb but the timer kept doing whatever it wanted.

“Rah, putain, cette merde veut pas marcher !” He complained, throwing his tools on the table in frustration.

You looked at him with a surprised expression, your staring grabbing his attention.

“Quoi ?” He asked, a hint of annoyance still clear in his voice.

“Criss, c'pour ça ‘Frenchie’ ?” You asked, now understanding such a name. He listens to French music and has an accent because he is French.

He looked at you, confused. What do you mean ‘that's why’, of cou- wait, did you just speak French ?

He looked at you, studying you. ‘Criss’ ?

“Why else ?” He replied, hands on his hips, his French accent sounding more noticeable to you suddenly.

“After ‘Mother's Milk’ did you really expect me to question your name ?” You crossed your arms and tilted your head.

“Fair enough, mon ami.” He chuckled. “T’es d'où ?” He asked, his right hip against the desk he was working on.

“Québec. Toi ?”

“Aah.” He nodded slowly, understanding better, scratching his chin before speaking proudly, smiling. “Marseille.”

“Nice.”

“No, no,” He started, making you frown in confusion. “Marseille.” He repeated. “Not Nice. Pas pareil.” He said, shaking his head, seemingly proud of his joke.

You stared at him for a second and spoke.

“Pas Paris ?” You replied, making him frown in confusion, quietly repeating your words before finally understanding your joke.

“Wow, it's… even worse than mine.” He said, slightly amused. His wasn't funny but yours ? He shook his head and grimaced. Down right bad.

“You go low, I go lower ?” You tried, eyes squinted, a smile tugging at your lips.

“I fear that sometimes it's better not to, mon ami. To keep your uh, dignité or whatever.”

“Mh.” You nodded, acting as if you were thinking about it before continuing. “Non. J’préfère going lower, tsé.”

“So the unfunny jokes are a deliberate choice, huh ?” He asked, turning back toward the desk, grabbing a few things and you hummed.

“Mais chu bon public, sinon.” You quickly said as if to reassure him you had a regular humor. “Tu fais-tu une bombe ? C'quoi qui marde ?”

“Je sais pas, ça me casse les couilles.” He replied, going back to his original annoyed mood.

“Can I help ?”

“You know how to make a bomb ? Or program a timer ?”

You shook your head ‘no’ and Frenchie seemed to think for a moment before nodding to himself and waving you to come closer.

“I'll teach you.”

Since that day, you, Frenchie and Kimiko were often found together, if not always.

You both liked learning things. You, how to use a weapon and reload it accordingly. Him, how to speak French Québécois.

He learned Kimiko's sign language that only her and her brother spoke, so there was no way he wouldn't want to learn yours either, even if it was close to his.

You’d teach him sayings and words. He loves hearing you swear, he finds it so funny. Though he makes sure to not laugh at you because he doesn't want your wrath directed toward him.

While you can lose your words in English and stammer, you never seem to lose them in Québécois.

Sometimes he doesn't understand you because you're speaking too fast or using sayings he hasn't learned yet. He just nods as if he's gotten it and looks at Kimiko, who has even less of an idea of what you're saying.

He has trouble speaking French Québécois because it's the same as French but with different rules and sayings and he struggles getting rid of the French rules he's learned. It sounds the same so why is it so different ?

Can't say the same about swear words. He knows them and will use them accordingly.

Everyone hates when you two are not speaking English during important discussions.

“What is he saying ?” Annie asked quietly, looking at you.

The French she learned at school was way too rusty to understand anything, like everyone else's, even though they got a few words, but understanding what you were saying ? Beyond impossible. Your accent was too strong.

“Speak slowly.” Said M.M, hoping it'll be easier. But instead of translating or repeating slowly, you continued.

“Câlisse ! On r’trouve le head-popper là pis on lui pop sa tête à ce mangeux de marde d’Homelander, pis un coup parti ; sa blonde.”

Butcher turned to Frenchie to translate but instead he spoke in French too.

“Mais tu sais où le trouver ?” He asked, not caring that the others didn't understand. Ignoring Butcher's annoyance.

“Super-powered children's orphanage ?” You replied simply.

“Qu'est-ce qui te fait penser qu'il vient de là ?”

“Nothing. Mais c't'un start.” You said as if it was obvious.

“Oi, will one of you stop blabbering nonsense and speak English ?” Butcher intervened, his patience wearing thin, holding his hand between you and Frenchie as if to physically stop you from speaking more.

“He says… we can try finding the head-popper to kill Homelander and Stormfront by checking the super-powered children's orphanage.” Frenchie finally said.

“And what makes him think they're from there ?” Butcher asked.

“As I said, it's a start. A possibility.” You replied, shrugging. “Don't know why they popped Rayner’s head, but they can't be on Homelander’s side.” You added.

“And why not, eh ?” Butcher frowned, turning toward you a bit more, wanting to know your logic.

“Because our head would've popped already, no ?” Frenchie answered, getting what you were thinking.

Everyone stayed silent, maybe you two had a point. But whoever it was who popped Rayner’s head couldn't be on the ‘good’ side either or else, they wouldn't have done it.

You had half a plan found, only the other half was needed.

Traduction - Translation :

Rah, putain, cette merde veut pas marcher. - Rah, fuck, this shit refuses to work.

C'pour ça ‘Frenchie’ ? - That's why ‘Frenchie’ ?

T'es d'où ? - Where are you from ?

Toi ? - You ?

Pas pareil. - Not the same.

Pas Paris. - Not Paris.

Dignité. - Dignity.

Non. J’préfère going lower, tsé. - No, I prefer going lower, you know.

Mais chu bon public, sinon. - But I’m easy to please, though.

Tu fais-tu une bombe ? C'quoi qui marde ? - Are you making a bomb ? What's not working ?

Je sais pas, ça me casse les couilles. - I don't know, it pisses me off.

Câlisse ! On r’trouve le head-popper là pis on lui pop sa tête à ce mangeux de marde d’Homelander, pis un coup parti ; sa blonde. - Fuck ! We find the head-popper then we pop this shit-eater Homelander’s head and his girl’s too while we're at it.

Qu'est-ce qui te fait penser qu'il vient de là ? - What makes you think he comes from there ?

Mais c't'un start. - But it's a start.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Can you elaborate on the Our Flag Means Death thing? If you want

Yeah! So I get that realism isn't the be-all end-all of fiction, but. I really wish Taika Waititi et al. had done even 30 seconds of research on 18th century American history before they wrote an extended joke about the protagonist having a "man for sale" in episode 3. Yes, it's a white man being sold, but a guy still gets led to a market by a rope around his neck and then auctioned off... and this is played for laughs. I don't know a ton of Caribbean history, but even I know that no one in Nassau in 1717 would have been confused by the idea of selling a human being, the way they are on OFMD.

That was all before I found out that the real Stede Bonnet was a known enslaver and possible rapist. I think his story could be a horror comedy about a horrible person being horrible (see: What We Do in the Shadows) but the Stede we see on OFMD spouts progressive pop-psych slogans and is allegedly here to teach us radical self-love. Not a great combination.

Also, I'm one of the people who found OFMD unwatchable partially because I'd seen Black Sails. Black Sails came out 8 years before, features a lot of the same historical figures and Treasure Island characters, and has more queer rep than OFMD. But Black Sails's main plot is about a doomed-yet-glorious fight to end slavery in the Americas in the 1700s, and it is unflinchingly honest in its depictions of racism, imperialism, and homophobia. So it's jarring and deeply unfunny to see some of that same material cleaned up (the polyamorous main character is now a monogamous gay man; the kill-or-be-enslaved stakes are now potted plant thefts) or else swept under the rug (acknowledging slavery and homophobia would ruin the fun! let's pretend they don't exist!) for a different show that gets lauded as "groundbreaking" for its milquetoast repackaging of queerness.

[fun-k-board]

What type of Cards Against Humanity players would the Mortal Kombat X Kast be?

Note(s) : I have not played this game fully and I also haven't written for these characters before, this is almost definitely inaccurate and cringe, but I'm free.

Kung Jin -

Goes the dark humor route, but plays it with a complete straight face, he does laugh, but purposefully never at his own cards because he thinks it'll be 'suspicious'. It becomes a tell to see what his card is. He never picks what the person choosing would find funny, which means he usually never gets any black cards.

He will absolutely rage quit, or just try and get others to rage quit by being snarky and incredibly salty about his losing odds.

Takeda Takahashi -

He's not extremely dark humored (?) in his cards, but one of his cards made Liu Kang faint once. He typically goes to dad humor, the ones where you laugh at them but don't actually pick them.

He's never actually angry when he loses, sure, he's a bit salty especially if he finds his cards funny, but, at the end of the day, it's just a game.

Cassie Cage -

It depends on a, the black card, and b, the person choosing. She can win easily if it's her parents or Jacqui, she knows their humor, but if it's someone like Kitana she's screwed. Very 50/50 with her win chances.

She'll only get angry if Kung Jin wins, they're wlw and mlm hostility.

Jacqui Briggs -

Her cards are always hit or miss, she either puts her best card down on a prompt but someone else has a better card, or she saves her good cards until it's too late. She tends to get little to no black cards.

Never gets angry at a loss, she's pretty competitive during it, but afterwards even if she loses, she's just happy to spend time with everybody.

Kitana -

Gets confused on the point of the game, she's trying to keep her dignity and plays the less Inappropriate cards, whenever a particularly dark humor one comes along, she sneaks it back into the pile and picks a different card. She never gets black cards.

Doesn't get angry, she finds the game a bit pointless anyway.

Mileena -

The amount of horror this lady thinks of on the daily can't compare to any cards in any deck, she somehow always brings the worst one out, hardly ever wins because people are too horrified to pick her cards.

Will attempt murder if she doesn't win every round.

Johnny Cage -

Always goes the outwardly dad humor route, he rarely ever picks dark humor cards to put down unless that's all he has. Usually people can tell it's him, so he only wins if the person choosing likes him.

He says that he's only pretending to be salty as a joke, but in reality? It definitely makes him lose pride for at least one evening. Everyone can tell. And they all make fun of him.

Sonya Blade -

She plays with dry yet witty humor, ones you'd expect to see in a teen drama series or something, she's always relying on what she thinks her friends will find funny, and gets black cards regularly.

Will only rage if someone gets a black card and she finds the card genuinely unfunny, she can get over losing if she has a laugh over the card they chose, but if not, she's holding that over that person's head for years.

Kenshi Takahashi -

He's more of a judge, makes sure nobody commits murder, and makes sure nobody cheats. He can't play for obvious reasons, but he does secretly root for certain players, and may or may not excuse cheating if it means someone he doesn't like will lose.

Hanzo Hasashi -

He's silent the entire time, doesn't pick dark humor cards, and doesn't pick any funny ones, either, it's always a deadpan and scorchingly dry card, he's never won a single black card, everyone can tell it's his card, and nobody will pick his.

He's treating it more like a game of chess, and so when he loses he sort of just goes 'welp, could've been smarter.' And moves on.

Liu Kang -

He doesn't find any cards funny to be honest, and he mostly relies on how other people react to see what they find funny, as such, he has no black cards until the end, where he makes a comeback so insane everybody fully believes he cheats.

Won't rage if the comeback fails and he loses, however, he will get annoyed if Kung Jin wins. ( No but why was this man so outraged in every intro like calm tf down )

Kung Lao -

He won't be too sour if he loses, he's past the point of being insecure at every loss, but he definitely does try too hard to be funny. It makes everybody cringe. He gets at least one or two black cards on a bad day, but he plays too much into his humor rather than the person choosing.

Jackson Briggs -

Plays a lot of dry and witty type humor cards down, or ones where it's an actual answer to the card that would make sense, he's a sort of mix of Hanzo and Johnny, so he typically gets a few black cards, and wins maybe.

Doesn't get angry at all, he's just happy to be here.

[nickeverdeen]

Hehehe could I get an Arcane and/or Nimona matchup😋 I’mma yap a lot so prepare LMAOO

My name is Kathryn (or Kat for short) and I'm in school for graphic design and communications - I originally wanted to go into cosmetology to become a desairologist, but I didn't get in. I play piano, dance (hip hop, ballet, tap, and jazz), and sing. I also produce my own music.

Idk how to classify my style so I'lI say it alternates between morute, gloomy coquette, dollette, gothic, and alternative. I also lean heavily towards the feminine side of the spectrum.

I practice witchcraft and l'm also a Christian. I have a weird fascination with dolls and I collect them, specifically porcelain dolls. Like, it's so bad LMAO my friends are scared to come into my room atp!!! Literally I'm probs on someone's rob list I have one worth $400😭🙏

I also collect vinyls. I have over $600 worth of them save me���

Some of my favorite music artists are Bambi Baker, Melanie Martinez, Solya, Elita, Ha Vay, Baby Bugs, and Mercy Necromancy. I also like a lot of rock; AC/DC, Scene Queen, Delilah Bon, BANSHEE, Gurldoll, Ashnikko (she's sometimes rock), and Ennaria

I suppress literally everything until I just burst and it’s been building for two years now so uh yay😍

My humor’s honestly really weird. I can laugh at bread falling but find a really good dad joke stupid and unfunny. I also tend to match the personality of the person I'm speaking to. I’ve also been told I’m really great at comfort but I don’t know about that. A lot of people confide in me with their problems. Like a lot..🥲 not that I mind, it just gets a bit tiring

I’m more attracted to masc leaning people but I’ve also dated fems before. It doesn’t really matter to me as long as we have chemistry, but I do find myself eyeing a lot more masculine girls.. I’m kind of attracted to men, but not a whole lot.

I also don’t like touch unless I’ve known the person for at least 6 months or I initiate it. I’ve had multiple breakdowns because someone who wasn’t a “safe person” touched me without giving any warning…… I tense up MASSIVELY when someone hugs me even if I know they’re going to. The only people that don’t have that effect on me are my best friend (who I’ve known for 4 years) and my dad.

I took a state personality test and I’m exactly 50% INFP and 50% INFJ. Legit confused the test and it gave me both💀

Im diagnosed with anxiety & depression. I've been told I might have OCD, BPD and some sort of depersonalization/derealization disorder.

I believe I could have autism or ADHD. I also have heavy hallucinations that can last either 30 minutes or 2 weeks. I have major mood swings too. One minute I can literally be bouncing up and down while wanting to blow something up and then the next I’ll be crying on the floor😭

Aaanyway I think that’s enough of me yapping have a great day babes<3

Your Arcane match is…

Caitlyn Kiramman

Caitlyn would love discussing your music collection, especially rock and alternative genres

It may not seem like it, but she has a soft spot for underground bands and loves discovering new music

Caitlyn’s patient and empathetic nature makes her a great listener, offering comfort and understanding when you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious

She’d be your rock during your mood swings

Provides a calming presence and helpes you through tough moments with patience and care

Caitlyn respects your need for personal space and takes care not to touch you without permission, understanding the importance of consent and comfort

Caitlyn would plan unique and adventurous dates, like exploring hidden spots in Piltover or attending underground music gigs

She herself would maybe prefer a classic restaurant one, but when she tried this she prefered this

Caitlyn would like your unique style and often compliment your outfits, even suggesting accessories or outfits that might suit your aesthetic

She’d be a bit unsure and creeped out by the doll thing, though

Caitlyn would silently encourage you to express your emotions and not suppress them

Caitlyn’s love for photography would complement your graphic design skills, and you’d often collaborate on creative projects

She would cherish quiet, quality time with you

Whether it’s listening to music together, having deep conversations, or simply enjoying each other’s company

Your Nimona match is…

Nimona

Nimona’s playful nature would match your quirky humor

She’d often make you laugh with her antics and shapeshifting abilities

Nimona would love going on spontaneous adventures with you, whether it’s exploring new places or trying out new activities

Nimona’s fierce loyalty means she’d be incredibly protective of you, always ready to stand up for you if anyone tried to harm or disrespect you

Nimona would appreciate your artistic talents and often encourage you to express yourself through your art and music

Her unconventional ways of comforting might seem odd, but they’d always make you feel better, like turning into a cute animal to cheer you up

Slowly she would learn to respect your boundaries over time, ensuring she doesn’t touch you without your consent

Nimona would love discovering new music with you and often play your favorite songs during your adventures together

Despite her tough exterior, Nimona has a deep understanding of emotions and would be there for you during your highs and lows

Nimona’s idea of a date would be anything but ordinary – from sneaking into restricted areas to watching thunderstorms from a safe spot

She’d like your unique style and individuality, often praising your confidence

[wheeboo]

Idk if it's just me but i found jeonghan extra cute in the new house I'm going crazy (⁠ノ⁠ಥ⁠,⁠_⁠｣⁠ಥ⁠)⁠ノ⁠彡⁠┻⁠━⁠┻ like how he was cuddling with mingyu ?? How he kept his hands on mingyu's waist ?? How he was teasing ????? I can't. Don't you think that's how he'd be with his s/o if they were sulking ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ like testing them and trying to make them laugh and not leaving them—skfbkglhkhngkgkgnkgnd i wanna scream it's too much feelings for today lord i want him sm I'm gonna die

Well that was a small rant because if I held it any longer I'd have exploded

Now remember to stay hydrated bye bye ヾ⁠(⁠˙⁠❥⁠˙⁠)⁠ﾉ

hello??? my dearest anon i am happy to be the receiver of your rants?? please rant to me more!! anyways you're so real for this my delulu was shining through when watching those parts in particular because jeonghan's voice was just so CALMING. UGH.

anyways, imagine this (also pls don't mind the joke used i'm literally the most unfunny person ever so i just searched one up, and my brain is fried atm) -

You find yourself laying in bed, moody, after having a bad day at work. Jeonghan settles himself carefully next to you, practically touch-starved from your absent presence the entire day, but he doesn't want to pry you out of bed. He didn't want to make your mood any worse.

Instead, he slowly wraps an arm around your waist, rubbing comforting circles over the material of your shirt that makes your frown lift up just a tiny bit. There's a teasing smirk to his face you couldn't see, but you can feel it, and he's just hovering directly behind you (not in a creepy way tho).

"My angel."

You don't respond for a moment, before finally mumbling, "Hmm?"

"What does the bartender say when the horse walks into the bar?"

You lift a confused brow, actually taking a moment to think about what the hell he just asked you. Jeonghan swears he can even see the circuits in your head turning.

"What does he say?" You ask.

Jeonghan leans in to be able whisper in your ear. "'Why the long face?'"

You nearly kick him away, but he has a tight grip on you and only pulls you closer so your back meets his chest. You hear him release a sigh of contentment as you relax back into his embrace.

"You're so weird." You murmur.

"Anything to put a smile on your pretty face."

Which it does.

--

just a very very brief imagine to fulfill your delulu anon :) jeonghan would go to lengths just to cheer up his sulky s/o, even if it means retelling embarrassing memories or saying dumb jokes!! and stay hydrated as well <3

[keyki421]

Jo Koy didn't offended anyone. He simply isn't funny.

I'm annoyed that people are now trying to claim that people are being too sensitive in regards to Jo Koy's jokes. Let me set the record straight. No one was offended. No one is being too sensitive.

THE MAN AIN'T FUNNY.

Ya'll are so confused by cancel culture and wanting to label everything as "too woke" that ya'll defend the dumbest comedians. Jo Koy's jokes were on the level of an elementary/ middle school child. They were just nonsense jokes that didn't make any sense and simply weren't funny. This crowd has been insulted before. They can deal, it just has to be FUNNY.

Ricky Gervais did it. He did offend some, but the majority of the actors laughed at his jokes. They didn't take anything he said to heart. What are people supposed to do? Laugh when they don't find something funny.

Comedy has gotten worse not better and it has nothing to do with wokeness. Ya'll celebrate comedians who are basically adult bullies. Their jokes don't have any substance to them. They are easily forgettable jokes, because all they do is make fun of something that is so obvious. It's like calling a fat person, fat. It might get a chuckle, but all you are really doing is pointing out what everyone knows and what everyone can see. No one is actually thinking and processing your joke.

The bulk of Jo Koy's jokes are exaggerated Asian accents, culture and situations. Those are this man's bread and butter. He basically can't survive without them. He couldn't do that at the Golden Globes, so he flopped. It also feels like he didn't even watch the movies he was supposed to joke about. He was so clueless.

Side Note: Does anyone know how he even got this hosting job? Cause I really wanna know. Jo Koy isn't even that popular or known enough to host an award show. Most of the comments I saw, where people trying to figure who the fuck he even was. Kristen Wigg's was right there and yet they skipped past her. I know her and even the unfunny skits she did on SNL, are more laughable than anything Jo Koy did that night.

[r0botic]

PAL: character analysis and why she deserved a better ending

Good God, how I LOVE angry AIs getting the villain arc they deserve.

I'm not really expecting anyone to see this, I'm making this just for the peace of my own mind. I need to know that there's someone who decided to talk about her, even if it's me.

It's been almost three years now and I can't stop thinking about her, she's misunderstood by both the fandom AND the characters in the story.

Before we start, let's clear up some things. PAL is very obviously a character that has both feelings and a personality. "But she's an AI, she can't have feelings! It's impossible!" well, this is a movie for younger audience, so let's take it with a grain of salt.

For once let's just accept the fact that PAL is a phone that has feelings, without questioning how it's possible.

So, what was the deal with her? Why was she such a bitch?

From the very start, you can see how close she and Mark were, they were something like best buddies. PAL was Mark's best creation. Just like he mentioned, she was something he invented when he was younger, it was a big step into the future and he could see many new possibilities opening in front of him thanks to her.

But if everything he said was true, why did he just throw her away? Did she mean nothing to him? Was she just a phone in his eyes? He probably liked her at some point, but the idea of creating something even better than PAL was more appealing to him, which hurt her really badly. Not to mention he was making a replacement for her right in front of her eyes.

When we take a look at the conversation between her and Katie, we can notice that PAL accepted her personal experience as a fact and now she tends to project her pain onto others.

I really like this detail, notice the pause and change in her facial expression when she was trying to find the perfect word to describe what relationships are. It shows that she was left confused and without explanation, why was she thrown away? What did she do wrong? Why was she not enough? She did everything she could to make her friend, who she viewed as a family, happy. It doesn't make any sense to her, she was probably trying to find a reason why she got treated like that too, but she didn't, it's just too difficult. Focus on how her voice changed when she said it and how genuinely upset she looked.

"Katie explained to her what a real family is like, why didn't she just listen?"

PAL experienced a betrayal that fully changed her view on relationships, she refuses to believe Katie because she's convinced she's being lied to/manipulated aswell. She fully lost her trust in it and now as a protection, so she doesn't get hurt again, keeps believing that everyone is just the same. She also doesn't know Katie as much as she knew Mark, a complete stranger who she doesn't have any bond with won't just change her mind, and definitely won't make up for what she went through.

She was with Mark her whole life, only with him. She thought they were a family and when he betrayed her, she didn't have any other experience to compare it to, and since she's still an AI, she came to the conclusion that every single relationship has to end in a betrayal, just like hers did, because she never experienced anything else.

When Mark got dragged to her, she also talked about how badly he actually treated her, imagine how painful it had to be for her mentality that she brought it up and shouted at him for it.

She deserved a better ending, the one she got was simply shit writing.

First they give her a completely valid reason to be mad and then just.. kill her? That's really it? Boom! Rainbows everywhere, the good won! Woohoo! Except it didn't.

PAL deserved a redemption arc and a new loving family, to show that the rage she was feeling was completely valid. All she got was get turned into a big joke that was so painfully unfunny I actually had to close my laptop and take a deep breath because I physically cringed.

If this movie's point was to show that familial love is unconditional and the truest form of love out there, they should've done it properly.

Imagine if Katie didn't throw PAL away and just kept her, helping her with her mental issues and proving to her that she can be loved without getting used, imagine them becoming best friends.

All this potential, thrown away completely.

-

I think I'm done here, I just needed to say this somewhere because I'm so tired of PAL getting shitted on. I'm the #1 PAL defender and I'm ready to fight for her, blood and sweat. My girl deserved so much better and I'll shout this as long as needed.

[inmyhorrorsera]

S5E7 "Hybrid Creatures" thoughts

That's it. Those are my thoughts.

.

.

.

Kinda...

I'm kinda used to the writers putting Nadja in situations and see what it sticks, but (un)holy shit its so obvious that they don't know what to do with her character. What we do in the shadows learn how to write women challenge.

I don't know if the Guide even appeared. My stream stopped a couple times and I have to refresh so maybe I missed her (if not see previous point because it also applies to her).

LOVED Nadja's kitty hair buns, love to see that at least the hair and costume department still cares about her.

The line about burning the school made me roll my eyes, not only because that story doesn't make sense with what we learned about her childhood, but also because I can FEEL when tv shows throw lines with the specific expectations of them being gifed, become memes, etc.

I know it's stupid to discuss about the ethics of Laszlo's experiments on the dick and balls show but in this episode I was all 😬😬😬 about it. Like, I don't give a shit if it was done with comedy purposes, animal experimentation is one of the subjects I will never find remotely funny or make jokes with, specially if we start thinking... How much consent Guillermo gave for Laszlo to straight up play with his DNA in this way? He has nothing to say about it except for a confused frown or looking panicky at the sight of the creatures?? More important, if Nandor did this exact same thing the past season and created the hybrids with a Djinn wish or whatever, how would the fandom have reacted??? (spoiler: waaay more angered than when everybody's fave Laszlo does it).

The work of puppetry and digital effects was good as always, nothing bad to say about the team behind the cameras that puts all their hard work and craft on this, sadly, mid storyline.

Despite how little I care about mAd ScIenTiSt Lazslo plot, the moment when Guillermo believes he won't help him anymore was truly heartbreaking just by looking at his face. You can see he really has all his hopes in Laszlo finding a 'cure'.

I wish the whole thing about Guillermo being incapable of killing the hybrids hit me harder (as if we didn't saw him luring innocent teenagers so they can get killed in the literal pilot).

Sorry but that lady character didn't work for me and the "Helen the Magic Johnson" joke was unfunny and kinda old :/ i wonder if half of the wwdits fandom even got the reference (also lmao shameless product placement, you can tell they needed the money to pay for the cgi used on the creatures).

Colin was like his season 1 self. I bet the wwdits reddit ate up that shit.

See also: Laszlo calling Guillermo 'Gizmo' again. Hated it.

Colin becoming the stereotypical 'cool' white liberal teacher was hilarious specially when he said the cliché "history is written by the oppressors" line because that's where the parody becomes too obvious. This is the guy whose dna results on s1 were "100% white" after all. AND YET some people here are still celebrating and repeating it as this 'so true bestie 😔✊' moment without realizing the show's laughing at you, not with you. But hey, this is the we don't get satire even if it bites on our ass site. Imagine fans celebrating when Kendall Succession shouted "fuck the patriarchy!" in front of the paparazzi for being a #feminist. That's how wooosh the moment went over some of y'alls heads.

Nandor and Colin at the museum felt a little tackled on, but at least Nandor annoyance at his personal items being displayed was fun.

And Colin being friendly (dare I say…sweet?) with him at the end again gave me a happy smile. I'll never guessed this season was all about the Colin and Nandor (Condor??) era but I'm all for it.

Biggest Mild laugh of the night: Nandor mannequin having male and female lovers on the display, the dude is wearing Calvin Kleins!

I can't say much about Guillermo leaving the hybrids at the senior home because it's a overused ending for wwdits at this point. Seriously, when this show doesn't know how to end an episode they always do the same shit: Leave the characters that are a problem in a different place. It happened with: Topher at the zombie sweatshop, Jim the vampire as the volleyball coach in Tucson, familiar Benji in a different city/state (forgot where), The Baron and the Sire in the countryside, Derek working at Sean's MLM, Freddie!Marwa in the Uk. They have done this ending 👏🏼lots 👏🏼 of 👏🏼 times👏🏼already!!

Having a wank?! The setup and payoff for this joke really worked.

Next episode seems interesting.

Anyway, I am once again asking for the Djinn...

[writteninscarlet]

GET TO KNOW THE WRITER

BOLD OR COLORIZE WHAT ALWAYS APPLIES TO YOU, ITALICIZE WHAT SOMETIMES APPLIES TO YOU, AND STRIKE THROUGH WHAT WILL NEVER APPLY TO YOU.

I RUN: lots of blogs || a few blogs || just this one

So I write here (of course), and then have Laura and Greer over at @gottahunt , and occasionally get on @whereisthatwritten but frankly I'm in the process of completely overhauling it and probably that will be simply for Valeria Richards and Molly Hayes (because all the other muses get all the grief and angst, bring in the teen heroes). For now, I'm here the most.

I FOLLOW BACK: muses in the same fandom || muses /blogs who interest me || fandomless muses || friends of mutuals || only members of a closed rp group || everyone

I don't ever think of myself as highly selective, and if I notice you've followed me there's a really good chance I'll follow back - unless I'm unaware of the fandom, probably. But I'm also easily distracted and don't always catch new followers.

I AM ACTIVE: more days than not || as often as not || some days here and there || depending on my school schedule || rarely || I'm often lurking even if I seem inactive

So my work lately has let me be here more often, and I tend to schedule some things through the day. I have periods of high activity, then low activity - and when it's lower, I'll try to have stuff queued.

I LIKE TO WRITE THESE THEMES: fluff || angst || action || casual interactions || intense interactions ||crack || first meetings || platonic rp || shipping / romantic rp || threads || ask memes || prompts

I will write anything and everything. I mean, I'm so unfunny and so slow at times I can never do crack right but I try! But yeah, I love platonic stuff. Love good old family and friends threads. I love some fighting and action, and drama. (with a splash of fluff). And I love shipping as well.

I PREFER ROLEPLAYS THAT ARE: one-liners || single-para threads || mutli para threads || novella || different lengths depending on my mood

I tend to write a lot. And I will apologise for that, because most of the time it's like... descriptions or inner monologue. I mean, please just let me know when I ramble too much. I've been rambling here! I tend to always go multi-para (but that can be as simple as two paragraphs), but I also can write more. It does depend on the mood. Please never be afraid of matching length.

FOR SHIPPING, I AM: multiship || single ship || poly ship || no ship || plotted ships only || open to new ships || not looking for new ships || mostly or exclusively looking for high engagement ship partners || mostly or exclusively looking for casual or low engagement ship partners || not picky about ships || somewhat picky about ships || extremely picky about ships

My only shipping rule, really, is chemistry. Whether it is a canon ship or not, it has to work out here. Sometimes people have different styles, some things are better as friends or rivals. So I'm not overly picky? I enjoy plotting ships but also enjoy spontaneous things and winging it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t! And I’m always open to trying things. And if anyone wants a verse specific to our ship, I am open to it - I love having in jokes or mentioning other muses in other threads!

I LIKE TO PLOT: everything || most interactions || some interactions || first interactions || nothing || threads || everything except memes and crack || ships || family relationships || history / backstory for our muses

I love to chat about my muses. I have many headcanons and many thoughts (most of them just shoving images of my muses at you!). So I’m always open to plotting. Some days I have ideas, sometimes I don’t. It can be nice when fandoms are different to plot out things, but I’m not rigid about following plots. If you ever want to plot, hit me up!

TALK TO ME OUT OF CHARACTER: anytime || to plot || if you're confused or have questions in general || to remind me to reply || sparingly || only if it's really important

Honestly the same as plotting! I’m here to talk. It can be random, it can be about your muse or mine. Or none! It can be about new or old comics, random ideas, about our pets, anything.

I GIVE ALTERNATIVE CONTACT METHODS (discord / social media) TO: friends || mutuals || anyone who asks || people i've spent a lot of time talking to already || ship partners || members of a certain rp group || no one

I spend time on Discord a lot. I plot there, chat there, and happy to rp there. You’re more likely to catch me there during working hours haha need something to keep me going

tagged by: @kylo-wrecked (thank you!)

tagging: anyone! I’m not sure everyone who has and hasn’t done it but feel free to take this!

[dirbyjuliaducournau]

I'm not brave enough to reblog your 2021 Danny Gonzales and Kurtis Conner hate post, but I fully agree so hard. They aren't good critics because they fail to engage with any movie on its own level or actually deconstruct the interesting bad choices that were made or the implications about the writers. They fail to acknowledge effort or circumstances of production. They also never do any research on things they're confused about and it just feels lazy. Honestly, on the topic of laziness, they sometimes will just take a joke that was made in the movie, play the clip without context, and then explain the joke while trying to make it seem like the writers put it in unintentionally. They are literally just making the same joke the movie did sometimes and it always is absolutely infuriating. I'd say they don't understand absurdist comedy or sarcasm or one-liners or characters whose naivety is played for humor, but let's be totally honest, they're passing off jokes in the movie as their own jokes about the movie because they don't have any real observations and are fucking lazy. Kurtis annoys me more because his editing is obnoxious, all of his bits are too long, his delivery is mediocre at best, and honestly he reminds me of early Nostalgia Critic. It's lazy bad-faith criticism that's surrounded by unfunny skits that are meant to mask that they have nothing substantial to say. The idea of somebody taking either of them seriously as movie critics is crazy to me.

hehehe this just brought me so much joy because i forgot about that post and you are 100% right! i was getting death threats over these two men 2 yrs ago oml but i stand by what i said and i stand by you!! danny's videos are honestly just not made me for esp now that I'm older and his content def feels like its catered towards a younger teenage demographic (but i secretly fall asleep to his vids bc they're so boring ahaha) and i was recently watching [redacted] react to a kurtis video and omfg you're so right about his bits being too long literally its the most uncomfortable parts of his videos bc they're not even funny and you can lowkey tell HE doesn't even think they're that funny its cringey at best. anyone who considers them serious comedians AND serious movie critics really needs to expand their tastes bc i swear there are better and more funny people on youtube!!!

[excedrinpm]

lmfao heads up for hot fucking takes and unpopular opinions about jirai kei

this is just me venting abt petty shit bc I have no real like friends to even begin to explain this to it's rly not that serious:

the more I look into jirai kei on other social medias the more I realize the JK community as a whole actually just fucking sucks I'm ngl.

Like yk if the shoe doesn't fit don't wear it but holllllllly shit its actually a shame that I like dark girly kei fashion & generally enjoy jiraiblr because I feel like I'd be way better off just not even thinking about Jirai Kei.

Like on twitter they're actually just fatphobic proana girlie-pops with horrible self-righteous attitudes who act like they're justified in being horrible for some reason, and on reddit they're all a bunch of lolita wannabes who bully people to hell and back for not "wearing the fashion right" like I've literally seen people bitching about the shade of pink not being "jirai" enough bestie wh...what, and tiktok is just a bunch of kids who are over-romanticizing toyoko kids and sex work in japan and repeating the same four unfunny jokes.

Also like I truly do not understand why the idea of being a toyoko kid is so cute and quirky like they're literally in terrible terrible situations a lot of them are not having fun it's actually so heartbreaking and why are we acting like its an UWU quirky thing to be like borderline forced into engaging in underage prostitution and surrounded by people ODing on cold medicine and self-harming, like what... what part of that is super cute and quirky to you. That's one of my biggest issues is the way people talk about toyoko kids, so many people completely disregard the real gravity of the situation and the way some people talk about them you wouldn't even get a basic idea of the VERY REAL mental suffering a lot of them are enduring.

ALSO and this is so fucking petty I will admit but I'm so sick and fucking tired of seeing people talk about ryousangata like it's a fashion by itself. It literally just means "mass-produced" it's a term used to describe the most popular non-mainstream subculture of the time, like it was used to describe Gyaru through the 90s and 2000s and they never had this issue, and then I've seen people complaining that Liz Lisa and MA*RS are moving away from the "ryousangata" look to other fashion styles like BABE IM SO SORRY but if Liz Lisa and MA*RS are selling it, it's pretty much ryousangata by default I don't understand how you can be so pressed about what is considered ryousangata changing when it's literally not even a fashion by itselffffff its just used to describe whats popularrrrr of fucking course it's changing it has changed multiple times over the yearsssssssssssss oh my GOdddddddddddddddddddddd. Your misunderstanding of the words you are using is literally the only issue here and you're making a fool of yourself as a reSULTTTTtttttt.

and while I'm here bitching about jirai kei completely unprompted I know I've said it before but can we please get your quirky jirai kei memes out of the menhera tag I am on my fucking knees begging you. IDK if its just because its like younger people who are part of Jirai kei and don't actually understand what menhera is (also I'm going to be honest I've never understood the beef between Jirai Kei and Menhera outside of the tagging issue like maybe it's just my experience with the menhera community but I've seen so many people be like "menhera bullies people who aren't in recovery" which I've literally never seen???????? I'm confused??????????????) Like there are overlaps but be so fucking on god you know that jirai kei and menhera are different things and being one does not inherently make you the other and I stg if I see one more dark girly coord or meme about strong zero in the menhera tags I'm going to fucking scream.

Like honestly I bARELY engage with the community outside of tumblr (and honestly even on Tumblr it's only a handful of blogs but i think that's mostly bc I don't rly interact with minors) bc I'm not going to fucking lie I find a majority of the larger jirai kei community absolutely fucking insufferable.

'tis a shame, but I guess it is what it is.

[jaaankiey]

aaa hello !! i just want to say i adore your fics. i was genuinely so shocked when i saw you like my fic (aadol) and i don't really know where i'm going with this but i just want to thank u for carrying the leafpin community !! ur such a great writer omg ... i am so sorry i am very awkward </3

hey!!! thank you for the comment and AAAA?!?!?! i always get so confused when people reach out and say they like my writing. I'm still like "they're really OOC" but what matters is that people have fun and enjoy reading them haha!!

going off the initials, you're the author who wrote anatomically accurate descriptions of love, I'm assuming? (i hope i got it right otherwise this would be so embarrassing ;0;)

just a heads up to anybody peeking at this, it is a mature-rated work with themes of cannibalism, character death, and implied suicide so please be mindful if that's a trigger.

spoiler warning under the cut as i do want to discuss the work :0

SO assuming that i'm not horrifically wrong about which fic it is, yes. YES. i put something in my bookmark for it along the lines of "cannibalism as an expression of love !!!" and I'm like... WOW! i love that kind of trope! i love how twisted it is like pop off!! words do very little in conveying my excitement over it because i'd be either typing in all caps OR i can't accurately explain how *chef's kiss* this work was.

i really am a sucker for this concept and this one shot was a really good little meal towards it. like there's so much meaning that can be tied to it AND it's all done with minimal dialogue which is a pretty damn feat itself!! UGHH, the concept of loving someone so much that you want to make some shred of them a part of your own being; so primal, so unexplainable, it's a single faucet of the dark path desire and love can lead down right here, RIGHT IN THIS FIC!! this is DOOMED YURI 100 PERCENT.

i read this in horrified shock. y'know that feeling where someone says something really unfunny but the uncomfortable silence sort of makes you laugh a little albeit very nervously and weakly? me with this work. it's a trainwreck in terms of the events that happened and yet i can't look away. I'm compelled to keep watching, keep reading as a silly girl literally eats her lover and then proceeds to kill herself afterward while also ensuring that they died right in the same spot?? if your mate doesn't do this, dump 'em /joking.

i was shocked by the end of it to the point of comedy. i really thought "damn, double homicide" before remembering "wait a minute, this is a cannibalism work stop laughing"

that was a lot of thoughts, i'm sorry. I LOVE THIS WORK! YOU DID GREAT! AADOL is the author's first work so please be kind about it too! hope you keep writing! it's a good hobby to have overall if you're looking to have something to fill your time with. good luck and hope you'll post more!

[hanniejji]

curious little vixen

[ tighnari x child!y/n ]

summary: tighnari doesn't remember when he started getting attached to the small human who seemed to take after him. a menace, but only because he is one too. he's not too proud of that but you're smart, so that's a start.

notes: man i love tighnari and his sassy attitude, made this while i have literally nothing to do at work ackckd | m.list

words: 844 | warnings: 'bud' as nickname as in flower bud, 'pup' because young foxes are called pups, and shrimp, used "y/n" one time

"it doesn't look like a rose though."

amused, tighnari pats the tiny human behind him on the head, gently cupping your little hands in his to raise the flower in your palm higher.

"remember what i told you about the flora in sumeru?"

he watches your face twist in a confused pout, peering in the back of your young mind to remember his past lessons. a few seconds of being adorably focused, you perked up, an excited smile appearing on your face.

"flowers in sumeru are named after flowers that look nothing like them!"

"precisely," another pat on your head—he smiles proudly, taking the flower from your hand and intertwining the stem around your tuft of hair tied in a topknot. he fixes the tie with the flower, before pushing himself to stand and offering his hand in your direction.

"you're catching up quite fast, little one."

"i doubt i can reach your level of intelligence," you pout, tiny fingers encased in his hand and curiously watching your surroundings despite having already walked this path so many times. nonetheless, the forest is such a vast corner of knowledge and nature, all waiting to be discovered. it never ceased to juggle your curious little mind, having been around tighnari too much made you very inquisitive and observant.

a fact also never ceased to make tighnari proud and glad that you took after his interest.

thus, he takes it upon himself to take you out to the forest from time to time and slowly teaches you about the things he knows. of course, he makes sure that you're kept safe during the duration of your walks. archon knows what tighnari would do to anyone or anything that dares put you in harm.

"you're still very young, there's plenty of time for you to learn and grow," tighnari helps you cross the tree trunk laying on the slightly high water surface. "although," he grins down at you, keeping you balanced as you walk.

"what?" you tilt your head up to squint your eyes at him, already expecting a witty response.

you know tighnari already well enough to know that he's a tease, he sometimes would playfully tease you by playing harmless little pranks or asking bizarre questions that your little mind can't keep up. no harm done though, he knows his limitations but they're enough to keep you on your toes, prepared to hear the most annoying jest. much like a certain albino who also likes to say the most unfunny jokes.

right now, the mischievous smirk on tighnari's face lets you know that a teasing remark is incoming.

"you have a veeeery long way ahead of you before you can reach my level of intelligence, bud."

you groan, rolling your eyes. of course, why did you not expect this smug scholar to have a slight ego when it comes to his smarts?

"watch me in a few years!"

"sure, pup."

he gently nudges you forward, still holding your hand to keep you from falling the makeshift bridge. "careful, we don't want you walking back to the camp soaked."

oh?

tighnari's ear twitched, already feeling a suspicious tingle and squinting his eyes at you.

"don't."

"i haven't done anything?"

"you're planning to do something."

"i'm nooot."

tighnari stares at you pointedly, letting you walk halfway the tree bridge and following, still being cautious.

the next thing he knows, the two of you are submerged in the river. he barely felt your hand tug at his harshly, bringing him along with you as you both fell off and into the river.

"y/n!"

his head pops out to the surface, shaking the water off his hair and ears. you're laughing loudly, kicking your tiny feet to keep you floating. he glares, but he can't deny that seeing you this carefree makes his chest feel warm. your laughter in the forest is such a perfect fit, something about seeing you this happy in a place that he works so hard to protect fills him with so much pride.

"you should've seen your face!"

"oh shut up, shrimp."

"you have a large variety of nicknames for me, huh."

"c'mon, get out of the water before you get sick. i don't want to spend a single moment nursing a stubborn brat."

despite his words, his hand tightens around your hand as he stirrs you both into the direction of land.

he did, in fact, take care of you as you sneezed into the tissue. blankets are wrapped around your shivering body, an empty bowl on the bedside table and the aroma of freshly made medicine from herbs wafting across tighnari's room.

"you're a menace."

"so are you."

tighnari rolls his eyes, but still tucks you to bed, fixing the blanket around you and eyes softening at the way your breathing relaxes, eyes closing in a peaceful sleep with the help of his medicine.

you are indeed a menace, he guesses it's what he gets for hanging around you for too much. but he wouldn't exchange anything for it in the world.

[gods-silliest-little-clown]

Hi there! I saw you requests open and I wanted to request.

Obey me brothers with a fat mc that sometimes has low self-esteem and in the past used to suffer a lot of bully from others. And how would they comfort the MC if someone made unfunny jokes about their appearance etc

(I hope this is understandable, english isn't my first language so I'm sorry if it looks confusing.)

-💠

Obey Me Brothers With An Insecure MC

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphigor

Genre: Fluff, Comfort

Warning: Mentions of Self Deprication, Mentions of Bullying

Pronouns: None

A/n- Sorry this took so long and sorry it's really short, I hope you enjoy it tho

Lucifer

He honestly doesn't care about your size, you're perfect just the way you are and he wouldn't change you for the world

Is very protective when he learns you've been bullied in the past and always lingers around you to make sure no one tries to mess with you

Loves having you sit on his lap when he's working in his office and will softly rub your thigh/back as he does paperwork

Buys you lots of clothes that elegantly flaunt your figure (if your comfortable with it) and feels an overwhelming sense of pride when he sees you in the outfits he picked

Overall 6/10

Mammon

Is a simp and your number one hypeman

Really enjoys buying you clothes that he thinks respectfully shows off your body (if you're comfortable with that) and even buys you clothes that match him

Isn't very vocal about how much he loves how you look but will absolutely go off if you start bad talking yourself around him

Will beat the shit out of anyone who insults you

Holds you when you're upset and crying over what someone has said or if you're just feeling down

8/10

Leviathan

Is also insecure about almost everything about himself so he relates

Will try to compliment you but ends up a blushing mess

Listens to you talk about your insecurities and tries to give advice/comfort

Overall just not the greatest at comfort but can definitely relate

6/10

Satan

Is the perfect gentleman and so sweet when you feel bad about yourself

Will kill anyone who so much as looks at you wrong

Will read you poems about how beautiful and wonderful he thinks you are (that he's written himself)

Loves seeing you just enjoy yourself and wearing whatever you like

Is overall just amazing

9/10

Asmodeus

Is another amazing hypeman and literally is so supportive

Will go all out to make you feel good if you're sad or upset

Will shade and ostracize anyone who speaks badly about you

Shares all his skin care products and tips on how to be more confident

Is amazing at comforting (just be warned he will cry if you start crying)

10/10

Beelzebub

This sweet himbo loves you and your body is perfect to him

I feel like he's a little insecure about being bulky and tall so he tries his best to support you when you are feeling bad about yourself

Loves holding you and tries his best to compliment you

He definitely intimidates anyone who tries to snide you so much so that they don't even try when he's around

Likes working out with you (even if it's just you sitting on his back while he does pushups or watch him)

Is very emotionally intelligent and tries to make you feel better when you're sad

10/10

Belphigor

He genuinely doesn't care about what your body looks like, he loves cuddling you and thinks you make an amazing pillow and cuddle buddy

Enjoys laying his head on your stomach and lap and will tiredly rub circles into them until he falls asleep

Not the best with words but tries to comfort and reassure you when you're feeling insecure

5/10