#i'm sick of being sad
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i'm sad dude
#such a silly thing to be sad about when i'm literally losing the love of my life#but my fwb likes it without a condom and i've always had him use one bc in a relationship#like it was an open relationship but that was one of our boundaries#and my fwb said did i still want to use condoms now i'm single#and i said it depends like bc i know he's got another fwb and i don't want to if he's raw with someone else#bc of like stds#and he said he does it raw with her#and for some reason like. i just am so sad like#what do i want him to say#that he'll stop doing it with her so he can do it with me#we're not a couple and i don't want to be#i just want to be the best and the most wanted all the time#and like now i wanna ask him do you see her more often than you see me#do you make more time for her#am i second best#even though i met you first#am i just not as good#i'm just so fucking insecure#all the time#i'm fucking sick of it#i'm sick of being sad#i'm sick of myself#might go for a walk idk#it's dark but like. i feel shitty#got that impulsive feeling#might make me feel better#idk man#what do you do#diary
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Jack Shephard is like. All he wants to do is fix people because maybe that will make up for the fact that he couldn't fix his father. He never wanted to be in charge but he will do anything to protect them. He'll let the island kill him if he knows the others made it to safety. He drinks when he can't handle his emotions because that's what his dad did and he knows it's wrong but he doesn't know any other way to cope. He plays golf and he hugs his friends. He tells everyone he has terrible bedside manner but treats them so gently. He doesn't know how to be in love. He gets scared and he gets jealous and he doesn't know how to try. He reads Aaron bedtime stories. He messes with Sawyer over his vision. He pointed a gun at John's head and pulled the trigger. He's a mess and he makes mistakes and he does terrible things but he's trying he's trying he's trying and one day he'll learn how to fix it. One day he'll learn how to fix himself.
#I'm sad tonight can you tell#I just love this dude so much#he's so pathetic#Also highkey sick of his trauma being overlooked#jack shephard#lost abc#abc lost#lost#lost spoilers#matthew fox#tw alcoholism#john locke#sawyer ford#james ford#james sawyer ford#kate austen#aaron littleton
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if i failed to protect my kid during the apocalypse and they almost died wandering on their own but got rescued by a team of four competent, battle-experienced adults who cared about them very much and made them feel less scared and useless but refused to let them fight, i think that would be a pretty decent outcome and i'd be pretty okay with it. sure i could dream up a better situation but there's a hell of a lot of worse ones too.
#it's not like they took bonnie away from a safe lil village.. bonnie was on the verge of collapse!!#and no village is safe!!!!#better traveling to the place that will be last to freeze than left at some village that will freeze sooner#(and we can guess than nille agrees‚ since she and bonnie did not wait in bambouche to be frozen)#better ready for battle behind a team of fighters than caught unawares among people who have never fought#(regular people are obviously struggling right now - even nille failed to protect bonnie)#even with the king#if the party fails the land is frozen ANYWAY#is it really better to leave bonnie in dormont? distraught‚ abandoned? being held back from following by strangers?#is that really a better moment to be stuck in for eternity?#yeah maybe something worse would happen in the house#but sadnesses could attack the village too!#taking bonnie with them is absolutely a reasonable decision given all of the circumstances#i may be biased by my own nille characterization#HOWEVER#this is also my opinion as a parent u^u#like i might still be freaking out about it#but htat's. inevitable no matter WHAT it is that happened#bonnie WAS stuck in a bad situation and even the best solutions can't undo that#so yeah i'd be WORRIED#but i'd also be grateful the people who found my kid were decent folks who tried their best and did quite well all things considered#😭😭😭😭#thoughts#thoughts about bonnie#isat talk#i'm sick of not being able to fandom tag my posts that i don't want to put in the fandom tag so there now it's filterable lol
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I know so many people think we'll get a sad ending for Squid Game, but honestly, I think there's a good chance we'll get a happy-ish or at least hopeful ending.
Why?
Because of the end of Season 1. Specifically the scene with Gi-hun and Il-nam. If HDH wanted to make things completely bleak, he could have easily written that homeless man dying out there, "proving" Il-nam right. But he didn't. In the end, we see someone helping the guy, proving Gi-hun right, that there are still other good people in the world.
I feel like that's good foreshadowing. Not saying there won't be sad moments coming, but I think in the end, we'll get something similar. A glimpse of hope and goodness, if not an outright happy ending.
Personally I'd be happy with the following scenarios:
In-ho gets a redemption arc and helps Gi-hun and Jun-ho put a stop to at least the Korean games. Possibly gets arrested but doesn't die.
In-ho starts to get a redemption arc. Gi-hun and In-ho team up as Front Men and it's implied they'll work together to take things down from the inside, but the games are still continuing currently, maybe with modifications.
Darkest I'd go with: Gi-hun genuinely becomes another Front Man with In-ho (does have a lot less faith in humanity), and there's no indication the games will stop, but Gi-hun manages to make things a little more fair for the players.
Anyway, just some thoughts I had. I'm honestly sick of super downer endings for shows. It's tedious and done to death, imo. I'd like to think HDH would rather leave us with a potentially hopeful ending. Especially since I'm pretty sure he said somewhere Gi-hun is based a little on who he used to be? If I'm remembering that right, then I'd hate to think he'd leave us with a hopeless ending.
#squid game#seong gi hun#hwang in ho#inhun#my thoughts#also sick and tired of seeing so many people being all like “oh everyone will die”#or “i hope they die”#or acting like a sad ending is inevitable#like wtf#have your opinions I guess but like idk it rubs me the wrong way#and yeah some of those ending ideas are the basis for a couple of fics i'm working on#i have too many wips i need to finish at least one before i start posting inhun fics lol
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Btw, props to the people that work with David's hair in Good Omens, especially season 2
As someone with the same exact hair lengt of our fellow demon, Satan knows how fucking hard and annoying it is to defeat gravity and make the top part actually stay...up, ya know
Season 1 was not that hard cause his hair is considerably shorter, so: shorter hair is quite easier to get to stay up right
Longer hair tho
I pay tribute to all the hours I've spent with blowdryer in one hand and snapping my fingers with the other to try and perform some type of miracle, cause God damn (it does look hella sick when it works tho)
Anyway, all this to say: I have now concrete proof being sick and emulating Crowley DOES NOT MATCH
I've been laying here with a damp towel on my forehead in prayers it will somehow help break my fever and this bitch not only ain't helping, it has been sucking the red out of my hair for hours now and it has turned from white to pink
This virus I caught God knows how is literally sucking the vibe out of me
#this is how someone with adhd works#thought process? this is it#no filter just ramble and nothing interesting#sad how this is how you find out you're a stereotypical man with the whole “i'm sick therefore i am dying” thing#it's funny because it's true#and i swear we ain't being dramatic#life is just a bitch like that#spencer sits back with the towel on his forehead and his lil orange juice on his barbie cup
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assassin's apprentice // royal assassin // fool's quest
#fitzchivalry farseer#rote#realm of the elderlings#do you see what i am getting at?#i'm rereading the series & it makes me so sad & sick to my stomach to watch fitz grow from#this lonely child who had no say in his life who had no say in being used by the crown#to this lonely man who thinks he is unworthy of everyone's love & time & is so buried under his own self-loathing & disgust#that he can't even hold his daughter because he doesn't think he deserves to#fitzchivalry farseer! please let someone love you like you deserve#ch: fitzchivalry farseer#lit: rote#**
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I'm so broken I don't feel anything, I just feel bad I can't cry I can't even describe the pain because I don't feel it but I know it's there
#depressiv#sad thoughts#sorry for being depressing#depressing shit#sadgirl#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#tw self destruction#depressing poem#depressing quotes#i'm tired#i hate everything#mental illness#dead inside#deppresion#i want to diiieeee#i wanna kms#kinda depressing#sick#tw self destructive behavior#dear diary#self destructive tendencies#mentally fucked#mentally exhausted#chronic pain#depressing life#tw depression#tw depressive#chronic illness#actually mentally ill
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once you test the Vah Ruta sequence--including the long-ass walk to the Domain--enough times you start gritting your teeth and hissing at Sidon to shut up every time he opens his mouth
#i'm also irritated all over again by how in vanilla botW it's all just. men standing around talking about mipha#being sad about her#arguing over how she felt and their biased perceptions of her#here in this mod and in aoc she actually gets to /do/ stuff#god. i just.#i love her but i hate how she's treated as just another fridged love interest in the end#i'm so tired. i'm so tired. i'm so tired of fictional women getting fridged.#i want to cry with frustration just thinking about it#people get mad at me for saying such things but like.#i have seen so much of this kind of thing i'm allowed to be sick of it#she has more depth to her than the other champions but still. still!!!#i'm extremely cranky tonight ig#i do like sidon to some degree but the way he overshadows mipha both in her story and in the fandom tends to make me bitter tbh
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“I hate them.”
ARCANE S02E01 & STAR WARS: EPISODE II - ATTACK OF THE CLONES
#this one is actually insane and the worst#it made me sick#i was in shock when i heard her say those words#but cait won't reach the:#“i killed them. i killed them all. they're dead. every single one of them. and not just the men but the women and the children too” part#she can't!#anakin's one is very shocking too#but a little “easier” to understand bc we just saw how he's mother was kidnapped and tortured for nearly a month#(and all this after finally being freed from years of slavery AND being left behind when her son was freed and “taken” away)#but it's also so sad to see how in pain and full of hate he is knowing since the beginning of the trilogy where this feelings will lead him#and bc he ends the scene saying: i know i'm better than this#which can be ambiguous but#ugh#caitlyn kiramman#anakin skywalker#arcane#season 2#star wars#attack of the clones#atoc#arcane x star wars
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My emotions need to leave me the fuck alone, I don't know how much more I can take. 😣
#it's been three almost four full months#and anxiety has been my constant companion#i don't know what to *do*#i am just sick of looking at ao3 and feeling sad and disappointed and jealous and confused#i would like to actually have a say over my emotions#because this cannot be good for my health#but i don't what to do or how to make myself feel better#other than just.....like abandoning things at this point and maybe disappearing from everything#which wouldn't really help if i'm being honest it would probably just make me feel bad in a different way#and more disappointed when i did come back#anyway carry on#i'm probably being overly dramatic
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Anyway ✌🏻
#this me trauma dumping and venting now 🥰#the last 3 days feels like 3 years#i lost my kitten (while being away)#and i got the news while driving in the middle of ni where#and then immediately after i arrived at the hotel i got sick and barely was able to open my eyes#the 2nd day i managed to go complete the work assigned to me without passing out lmao#but after that i had to help deliver a baby 😀#with so minimal equipment and the ambulance arrived so late#it wasn't my first time but it was still traumatizing 🥱#but hey! the joy of bringing a life or whatever they say (liars)#and now I'm still not home and still sad and angry about what happened to my kitten 🚶♀️#and i have a stomach bug and can't travel home now#i guess thats it if you're still reading this wow kudos 🤨😘#also my mom thought i was dead chill lady i didn't answer my phone for only 12 hours 🤨#Anyway#fun and action#sira's shenanigans#<- yeah good i remembered this#i think I'm cursed tho tommy come lift it 😢
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I think dismissing other people's complicated feelings about bad people and taking an easy moral high ground because you don't share those complicated feelings, that shared community, or any investment in that history is extremely selfish and unhelpful
#this is about kanye#don't mock people who feel sad about what he's become#what he did in the past and who he was and what he advocated for meant a lot to a lot of people#and that doesn't mean they're defending him#I'm sick of seeing white people talking about kanye who never had any investment in him easily dunking on him and acting superior#he's a fucking nazi i know. it's SAD to see what he's become#one thing white people do not understand i think. is black ppls relationship to celebrity is NOT THE SAME AS YOURS#I saw it when yall were trying to act sooo above the kendrick/drake beef last year tryna be like “i don't care about celebrities”#“this is all a distraction” “they're selfish they don't care” blah blah blah#im not even gonna say historically bc still to this day celebrity is one of the only paths blk people have to rise above their circumstance#esp if you're poor esp if you're dark esp if you grow up in a low investment area etc etc#there's a reason the dreams for little black boys are rapper or baller#beyond superficial attachment black celebrities mean something TO THE CULTURE. So when one is out there on some fuck shit it's EMBARRASSING#it's disappointing. it's sad. besides that we're still used to one black person being used to represent all of us#Especially someone who was speaking up for us. How old were yall when kanye said george bush doesn't care about black people.#were you even alive? then shut the fuck up or start being respectful to the rest of us who have to mourn what this man used to be#and i'm not saying shut up about calling out what he is or what he's done.#i'm saying stop talking down to people who actually have to grapple with that in ways you obviously and gleefully don't
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Shego, checking Drakken's temperature: Wow Doc, by the way you're burning up with this fever, you'd think you would...
Drakken: I would what, Shego?
Shego: Turn from blue to healthy shade of pink or red?
Drakken: DOES MY HEAD LOOK LIKE A GIANT THERMOMETER TO YOU!? *starts coughing up a storm*
#this time I'm not the one being sick ... still sad tho because I hate to see my bf being sick#but on the other hand: nice and warm#crack post#just flower thoughts#drakgo
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Dear Diary,
It’s the same shit on a deeper level on a different day.
#dear diary#does it ever stop#chronic migraines#sick of being sick#same shit different day#deeper than meets the eye#i'm trying my best#not enough#not good enough#depression#struggling#sad#anxiety#overwhelmed#empty#i care too much#isolation#i'm exhausted#i'm not okay#what else is wrong with me#i can't think straight#one step forward ten steps back#friends break hearts too#tell me how i'm supposed to be#weight of the world#why is everything so heavy#it hurts
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i miss techno. :(
#i miss rivals duo :(#i miss being able to be part of the techno fandom#ignore me i'm sad and sick#loyal talks about stuff and things
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#yesterday i had this moment where i cried so much and so hard in a way i haven't cried in so long#it was a moment of pure soul crushing grief. it was like i had lost my dog already. i felt like i was never gonna see her again#(she's still here. tired and sick and currently sleeping. being very loved. still here.)#i was talking to my mom and sister a couple of hours ago and they said they had a moment like that too yesterday#and i think for me that was an extremely difficult but necessary moment of acceptance#in that crying i let go of my fear and denial and fully accepted that there is no getting better this time. she will be gone soon.#and god animals are so very sensitive aren't they? because it's like my other two dogs know too.#it's like thay had that moment of acceptance as well. they were so quiet yesterday. they didn't eat all day.#it's unbearably painful. i'm extremely sad and my heart is shattered. but i'm glad that i'm at peace#no dog has ever been as happy and as loved as she has been her entire life. i'm sure of it. and me and my family are going to be okay.
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