#i'm sick at home and everything sucks and i'm just tired

[lucidfairies]

— mess around (part two)

part one • part three • part four • part five

synopsis: it wasn't everyday you moved to the south, surrounded by cowboys and their women, but here you were, and your new neighbor simply couldn't get any more enticing

pairing: rancher!sevika x married housewife!reader

warnings: cheating, dom!sev, sub!reader, reader is bolder in this one, face sitting, fingering, finger sucking, size kink, back shots, breeding kink, rougher than part one(!), light bondage, sevika is a bit meaner in this one but not outside of sex, new pet names (!!!!), choking, thigh riding, cum plug

a/n: I want to make it very clear that even though pregnancy is mentioned several times, r will never get pregnant with an unwanted child or with the husband figure, it's solely for plot !

wc: 4.4k

collaboration: my biggest love and thank you to @sevsgiirl for literally leading me through this and giving me all the ideas and also reading my rough drafts lol! 🙏🙏

Sevika was obscenely tired. This was her third week running only getting two hours of sleep, tossing and turning, unable to fall back into sleep. When she did sleep, it was short and light, not sufficient enough. It was eating her alive.

There were a number of reasons - her dog had been sick for days, the horses needed a different feed schedule, she briefly had to travel up North to visit relatives, changing her time zone. But most of all, and most obviously, you.

Everything about you. Your eyes, your hips, your smell. The way your hair flicked when you walked, your smile when you greeted the neighbors, the way you knew something about everyone. You were the complete opposite of her, and it was driving her mad.

She hated you. Hated your perfection, and the blush in your cheeks. She hated the way you dressed, pretty sundresses that hardly past mid thigh, bows, and those fuck ass boots. She hated you because she needed you.

She was desperate to get you a real pair of boots, ones that weren't from some northern shop impersonating southern culture. She needed to show you off and parade you around, have you sit on her lap at the bar with her hat on while she played poker, and tell everyone that you were hers.

But that wasn't ever going to happen. You were never going to be hers, divorce was too much of a hassle for a woman like you, who probably wanted a million things she couldn't give you.

-

“Babe, can you come here?” Your husband called you from the kitchen. You were perched on your bed, folding the week's laundry. You stood and made your way to the kitchen, stomach twisting. Ever since your night with Sevika, your husband wanting to speak to you worried you. There's no way he found out. But what if he did?

“What's up, honey?” He beckoned you to sit down across from him at the small table, and you did. He had papers in his hand, messy scribbles covering the page.

“I wanted to have a serious conversation about kids,” he paused for a moment while his words sank in, “I asked you to stay home so that we could start our family, but you keep declining to actually start it. I can't keep you home like this if you aren't going to do anything.” You sighed.

You knew this was coming - every time he brought it up, you shut it down. Every time you slept together you had him wear protection, or you made sure you had taken the pill that morning. You couldn't identify why you didn't want to have children with him at the moment, but the feeling was there, and it was strong.

“I'm just not ready yet,” you insisted, “if you want me to go to work I can, but I do quite a bit around the house. Just because we don't have children yet doesn't mean that my work is diminished.” You stood your ground, annoyed at the constant assumption that you didn't do anything.

“Babe,” he sighed angrily, pinching the bridge of his nose while he formulated what to say, “every time we talk about this you say you're not ready. We've been married for three years, when will you be ready?” You shrugged, embarrassment getting the best of you. “You only have so many years to have kids. I can’t sit around and waste them while you figure out if you’re ready or not.”

His words were like a punch to the gut, especially because you knew them to be true. You got into this relationship and eventually this marriage knowing his intention with children, and up until recently, you thought you shared that intention. But the longer you thought about bearing his children, the more displeasing the thought became.

“We can start trying, then. But not until next week, come July.” If you had to do it, you would at least have it when you wanted to. Your husband grinned, rising from the table to give you a hug, and press a kiss to your head.

“I’m glad it’s time,” you put on your best fake smile, “I’m headed to bed. Mind cleaning up?” He waved towards the dinner dishes as he walked towards the bedroom. “See you tomorrow, my love.”

You sat in your seat at the table for a long time, simply looking at it. Sevika’s words from the night she had dinner rang in your mind like a screeching alarm - I’m a capable woman, babygirl. I can clean my own plate. She wanted to help, even after working all day. She chose to help.

Before you could choose the wiser, you were shooting up from your seat and clearing the dishes into the sink. You washed them quickly, not bothering to scrub very hard before tossing a robe over your shoulders and slipping on some shoes. Quietly, trying not to wake your husband, you peeled open the door and slipped it shut, sneaking down the steps carefully. You knew where they creaked now, you had lived here long enough for that.

There was a clunking sound and loud groan when you knocked on her door. Part of you hoped that, if you knocked softly enough, she wouldn’t hear it, or that she would be asleep. The other part of you begged to see her, even though it wasn’t right. Something about her drew you in, wrong or right.

The door flew open, and there stood Sevika in all her glory. Except, she didn’t look as if she felt glorious. There were eye bags under her eyes that made it look as if she hadn’t slept in a week, and her face was angry. Her downturned lips only frowned further at the sight of you, and you felt small, beginning to question your decision.

She must’ve noticed. Her face softened, still angry, but not as angry as before. She simply looked at you, waiting for something. “Hi Sev,” you whispered, meekly. “I don’t really know why I’m here.” You looked over your shoulder, gazing at the home that was calling you back, the husband that was asleep in the bed you shared.

“I can’t help you with that, sugar.” She said, gruffly. “When you know what you want, come and find me.” She went to close the door, but on instinct, your hand flew out to stop it.

“Can I come in?” She looked at you for a moment longer, eyes sullen and mind begging to send you back home. But she opened the door nonetheless, allowing you to step in. You had never been in Sevika’s home, but it looked just like you would think. Clean, homey, a little boring. Lots of pictures of people you didn’t recognize, aside from the ones you met at the bar.

“What can I do ya for, angel?” The name made you breathless. It effortlessly brought you back to when she had you riding her, calling you angel.

“I thought maybe we could talk,” You moved through her house slowly, taking a spot in the living room. It felt embarrassing, inviting yourself in like this, late. “Unless you’re sleeping. I understand if I woke you.” She punched out a laugh.

“I ain’t slept in weeks,” she plopped down across from you, the L shaped couch making it easy to see her. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? Husband doin’ you wrong?” You considered whether you should answer yes.

“We’re going to start trying for a baby,” you told her, cringing at the sentence. You could see her face drop and her eyes change, but she was quick to recover. “I’m not sure I want to.” Your gaze fell to your hands as you crossed your ankles.

“Want to try, or want to have a baby?” She clarified, brows knit as she leaned back and fell into her manspread once again.

“I guess both,” you sighed, “I don’t know if I’m ready to have a baby with him, and the trying part..” you trailed off, considering your options as to how to phrase what you wanted to convey. “When we.. did what we did, it was much more fun than when my husband and I sleep together,” a proud smirk found Sevika’s lips. “He’s very boring, he doesn’t like to try things. In out, in out.” You made a gesture with your hands and she laughed. “He’s always on top of me, it never really changes. I don’t like it.”

Sevika hummed. There were so many ways she could take this. “You don’t say,” her accent was thick this time of night. It made you wonder what she was thinking about. “So you want somethin’ rougher?” You nodded slowly, not 100% sure what ‘rougher’ meant. “Tell me, sugar, has anyone ever bent you over?”

Your eyes blew, and your lips parted. Sevika’s clit started to beat at the expression. It was perfect, she longed to frame it. “No, I don’t believe so.” She tapped her thigh, looking at you with low eyes.

“Come,” she instructed, and for some reason, you stood, and found placement on her thigh. Her hands gripped your hips in a tighter grip than the one she had the first time you were like this with her. There was something different in her now. “Tell me what you want. What he isn’t giving you.”

You thought for a moment. “I’ve always thought about having my hands bound,” you told her, quietly. You let out a soft gasp as she used her tight grip on your hips to roll them forward slowly. “I don’t know how that would work, but I’ve wondered. Sometimes I think about my throat..” Once again you trailed off, unable to formulate the right thing.

“What about your throat, darlin’?” Sevika pushed, bringing you down on her thigh again.

“Having it squeezed, being choked in a sense.” Sevika let out a soft ‘mhm’, reaching up and cupping your face, swiping her thumb along your bottom lip before her hand fell to your throat, gently wrapping around your windpipe. Your hands rushed to her wrist as she tightened her grip, forcing your head up. She held you there, large hand wrapped tightly around your throat while her mech hand worked with your hips.

The fuzzier your brain got, the better the muscle of her thigh felt under you. Sevika rocked you and rocked you until you were finding your own pace, forcing your cunt down onto her thigh in rapid, uncoordinated motions. You were so close, stomach twisting as you gasped for air under Sevika’s hand, just for her to hold you down and restrict your movements. “Sevy,” you whined, trying to push and get to your finish.

“No baby,” she hushed. “Y’r gon’ have to wait. You can do that, can’tcha?” With a huff you nodded, wondering how long you’d have to wait. What did she even mean by ‘wait’? Sevika lifted you off her lap and stood you up, standing with you and pressing a hand into your back, pushing you until you began walking.

Her bedroom was lovely. She had a large bed, probably because she was so tall. The sheets were a dark shade of purple and made, creating a clean look for the already clean room. Once you got in the room she shut and locked the door, as if anyone else would walk in. “Sit. I’m gonna get some things, sugar. I’ll be right back.” You sat on the edge of her bed and watched her move around, first grabbing a box from a drawer and then leaving, returning shortly after with a bunched up rope.

“What’s all of that?” You asked, trying to catch a glimpse of what she had aside from the rope. God, of course she had rope. She was a rancher after all, she probably took it from the stables. She sat her things down on her nightstand next to her bed, turning to you.

“Nothin’ you needa worry your pretty little head about, sweetheart.” Sevika came to you and leaned down, tilting your chin to her and capturing your lips in a kiss. It grew from a chaste kiss to a feverous one quickly, with Sevika bearing down on you, pushing her weight into you, making you hers, just for tonight. She pulled away from you, climbing into and laying back on the bed. “Get up and strip for me, peach.”

“What if I want you to undress me?” You pouted. It felt strange, acting like this. You wanted her hands on you, you didn’t want to bother doing it yourself. That’s what you were here for. Not having to do things yourself like you did with your husband.

“You said you didn’t want borin’,” she said, nonchalantly, as she laid back and placed her human arm behind her head, muscles flexing in the best way possible to keep her upright. “So get up and strip.” Huffing, you did as told.

You would never have looked at the situation and called it something as vulgar as a strip tease, but the slowness of you stripping yourself and the way Sevika’s eyes fell upon your body as you did made the thought cross your mind. You were slow to pull your pajama top up, slow to slide your pajama shorts down your thighs, slow to rid yourself of your panties. God, she could come off the sight of it.

Once you were naked, she beckoned you over with her mech hand, having you sit in her lap. “You look so damn pretty like this, all naked in my lap.” She felt as if this was her first time having a woman in her lap. She didn’t know where to start, all of her favorite things were before her, yearning to be touched and pulled and sucked.

She leaned into your neck, sucking the skin there briefly before traveling down your body. She caught your nipple in her mouth, and by some miracle, you could’ve sworn it felt better than the first time. Maybe it was because, in her lap, you had something to grind down against when her teeth clashed over the sensitive spot in your nipple, and when she pushed her tongue up into the spot after nipping it.

“Sevika,” you moaned, head thrown back as she did her best work on your tits. Fuck, your tits. She barely thought about them the first time, but now? Now. She got to see them in all their glory, nipples perky and waiting, so fucking ready for her. She didn’t even bother with her mech arm, she needed to feel you. Feel the way your nipple hardened when she rolled it between her fingers and feel the way you gasped and ground down on her every time she made you feel good.

She made you feel good. Nobody else. Only her.

She switched tits, and she couldn’t resist rutting up into you when a string of drool dripped from your boob. She didn’t even realize she was sucking enough that drool could fucking drip from you nipple, but it was a sight from God nonetheless.

She took much longer on your tits this night than she had the previous night you spent together, and it was lovely. But, to your humiliation, you had completely soaked through her pajama pants. The material was thin, but it was sopping from your grinding and dripping. She could feel it on her leg, and the feeling was driving her up the wall.

Sevika didn’t find herself begging very often, especially not at the mercy of a woman she had in bed, but when her eyes fell between your wet nipples and the patch on her thigh, she couldn’t find herself doing anything but. “Please ride my face, sweet thing, need y’on my face.” Her hands rested on your thighs in a tight hold.

You sat up, going up and up until your cunt rested over her nose, and your thighs found purchase on either side of her head. She brought her hands to your hips and pulled, dragging you down onto her mouth. You were quick to learn that sitting on Sevika’s face was the best feeling you’d felt at this point in your life.

However, you were also quick to learn that her nose had more purpose than just fitting her face and breathing. Your clit found purpose on her nose while you rode her tongue, so much so that it made the experience that much better. You must’ve looked like a fucking slut the way you were humping her face, but the feeling of her flattening her tongue and letting you take control was one that you never wanted to escape.

Your orgasm hit you like a punch, making you double over on her face. With ease, Sevika lifted you off her face and pinned you to the bed by your lips, licking you up and making your legs shake around her head. “Sevy, it’s too much,” you whined, but she didn’t care to listen. Her middle finger was pushing against your entrance no matter how much you whimpered and moaned, finding solace in your pussy as she fucked you again.

Her pace was ruthless, fucking you with two of her fingers and arching them into the best spot inside you. You were gripping the sheets, arching your back, doing anything you could to get away from her relentless abuse of your cunt, but she was stronger than you, and you loved it.

Sevika loved it too. She loved the way that, if she wanted to, she could get you to do anything she wanted. You were easy to hold down, easy to pick up and throw around the room, she loved being bigger than you. It drove her mad, the way you looked next to her, or under her, or better yet, on top. She simply couldn’t get enough.

“We’re gon’ try somethin’ new, peach,” she kissed your pelvis, overtop where her fingers were still logged inside you. “I’m gonna stretch you out, make you all good and ready for my dick.” The words hardly registered in your head before a third finger was probing in your entrance. And it hurt. Three of her large fingers were wider than anything you had taken before, and it made you wonder how wide her strap was if her fingers were stretching you this much.

“Vika it hurts,” you cried, and she paused, letting you adjust to the feeling before pushing more in you. She adored the view, the way your pussy gaped and pulled her in. With little further struggle, all three fingers were knuckle-deep in you, and you were clenching tightly around them.

“That’s my pretty girl,” her voice was hoarse, watching you take her. If this was this good, she couldn’t imagine what her strap would look like bottomed out in you, greedy pussy sucking her in. She fucked your cunt slowly, building up your orgasm with each pump, until you were on the brink, and once you were there, she attached her lips to your clit and sucked, pulling everything she could out of you.

You came again with a shriek, overstimulation getting to the best of you. She had you coming for maybe a full minute, getting everything she could out of you before stuffing her fingers in your mouth. You hoped this would become a routine - her fucking you then making you suck your cum off her fingers. The way she looked at you was irreplaceable.

When she was finished, she was giving you a whole new set of instructions. “On your knees, face the headboard.” You did as told, waiting patiently as she trifled through her things. You felt the bed dip and her body take position behind you. “Gimme y’r hands, bunny.” The new nickname had you reeling.

You placed your hands behind your back and she gripped them both in her mechanical hand, and soon after, you felt the rough material of rope lacing your skin. She pulled tight, letting the scratchy material dig into your skin. “Be good, or I’ll have you comin’ till you can’t fucking think.” She whispered in your ear, placing a small kiss below your ear before pushing you forward and bending you over.

With a squeal, you went cheek first into the pillows, ass up. Sevika pressed her mech hand into the arch in your back, pushing down and down until you were arching up as much as you could. Sevika smirked, not that you could see. You looked so pretty like this. Your pussy was drenched, waiting for her dick. She swiped two fingers through your folds, collecting your wetness and smearing her strap with it, before lining her tip up with your entrance.

You whimpered when she pushed into you, the feeling different than her fingers. It was different than anything you’d felt - the rubber wasn’t warm like when you got fucked by your husband, obviously, and as she bottomed out, it was insatiably better than any way your husband had fucked you.

Maybe her strap was longer, or maybe it was the position she had you in, but the stretch of your cunt and the feeling of her being in you made your head spin. She pressed a firm hand into your shoulderblades as she began to work her hips, fucking you gently at first. She couldn’t watch anything but the sight of her strap disappearing fully in you, and it was growing harder and harder each breathing minute to restrain herself from fucking you as roughly as she could.

Really, there was no luck for her the minute your little uh, uh uh’s started, matching each thrust as the air got punched out of you. She grabbed your hip roughly and fucked into you harder, the skin of her thighs slapping loudly against your ass as her pace quickened.

“Fuck baby, y’r so good, such a good pussy.” She groaned, base of the harness fucking against her clit in just the right place. Her pace only got faster, and you were practically crying to god. It was no less than the best thing you'd felt in your life.

“Vika,” you moaned, dragging out the ‘a’ while her pace grew restless. She needed your pussy. It was like she was high out of her mind, addicted to your body and your cunt. “Vika, Vika, oh, daddy!” Her hips came to a stuttered stop.

Before you could apologize, her mech hand was wrapping tightly around the back of your neck and pulling you up off the bed, against her chest. She continued her original pace, the new angle hitting even better than before. “You call y’r husband that, sweetheart?” She groaned.

“No,” you whined, and she grabbed the rope, pulling you into a deeper arch against her. “Just you, Vika.” Her head fell into the crook of your neck with a deep groan.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she pushed you back down, reaching around and rubbing your clit with her human hand. Her pace and the clit stimulation had your stomach twisting. “Wanna put a baby in you,” she moaned before she could think. The conversation you guys had early resurrected in her brain, and the thought of fucking a baby into you, just the thought. Fuck, she could've come on sight.

“Please,” you whined, high pitched and fucking disgusting. “Put a baby in me Vika,” she was going to fucking explode. Her hand found your throat again, leaning over you and squeezing as she fucked you as deep as she could. You were so fucking close, the feeling almost overwhelming.

“Gon’ make you a mama, peach,” the idea crawled into her mind and she knew it would never leave. Fucking you pregnant with her baby. If she could, she would never stop. “Fuck,” her moan was much higher pitched than any of her others, and you could tell she was growing just as close as you were, “take it, take it, take it,” she moaned in between thrusts, hand only tightening around your neck. “Fucking take it, nghh,”

You came at the same time, but you could barely keep yourself from coming again when she reached down and squeezed, filling you up and leaving you spent. You moaned again, rocking back into her.

She pulled out slowly, letting you adjust to being without her as your cunt drooled. You went to move and she slapped your ass, making you yelp. “Stay.” She commanded, and you did.

It was truly a humiliating position. You were ass up, drooling like a fool while her cum dripped from your cunt. When she came back, she had a toy, and she wasted no time pressing it into you. “Keep this in ya’ till you get home, y’hear me? Need you full of my cum, bunny.”

She unraveled your hands and you rolled over, the plug shifting in you just enough to roll against your sensitive g-spot. “How'd you like that, pretty? Rough enough for my girl?” You watched as she stripped herself of her strap and put on a clean pair of purple boxers.

You simply hummed, shifting in her bed and rolling onto her pillows. “I like you a lot, Sev.” You mumbled, fuzzy, fucked out brain speaking before registering. “Wanna keep coming over.”

Sevika sighed. “Wish you could, sugar plum.” She came to you and rubbed your thighs. “But for now, you oughta get home. Y’r husband's waitin’,” you groaned, shutting your eyes tightly. “‘m sorry, angel.” You sat up, letting her bring your clothes to you.

“Where are my panties?” You asked with a pout as you trifled through the mound of clothes she presented you with.

She pressed a kiss into your forehead, but you could feel her smirk under it. “I’m keepin’ those, peach.” You giggled, slipping your top over you and standing to slip your shorts up. “You best do what I say ‘nd keep that in you.” Her tone was low as she watched you dress from her relaxed position on the bed.

“I will,” you promised, reaching over and placing a finger kiss on her lips. “Wish you could watch me drip, though.” You pouted.

“Don't say shit like that,” she growled, “or I'll have you bent over again.” You shrugged, smirk painting your lips.

“Bye Sevy,” you said quietly as you slipped on your shoes and robe. “I'll see you.” She sent you a short goodbye and you were leaving her home, traveling back across the ride and into your house.

What a life, you thought. You spent the time before you fell asleep thinking about what life would be like with Sevika. Having Sevika’s babies, walking down the aisle to Sevika. And boy, it was good to think about.

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[vainvenus]

mind games. | ln4. | pt.1

Pairing: Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: You're still on edge with everything that has been happening lately you hope that the paddock could be a safe place but it's very clear that it's not, if anything you feel even more crazy than at home.

Includings: Dark!Lando Norris, stalking, theft, gaslighting, manipulating, paranoia, mentions of sleep deprivation

An: Two posts in one day? Yeah y'all won't see me for a month

As much as you tried to convince yourself it was just your mind and memory playing tricks on you, you couldn't shake off the feeling that someone was watching you very carefully but kept slipping up like a shadow whose movements were a moment too late.

It wasn't the obvious kind of watching, the kind that you knew was happening like someone staring at you from across the bar or being watched while talking in a group of people. No, this was the kind of watching that creeps up behind you and leaves the hair on the back of your neck standing up and wondering if that gaze was ever really there.

And it was kind of hard to ignore that kind of staring. One where you weren't quite sure if you were being watched or if you were just overthinking. It was heavy and almost commanded attention.

You didn't even know who to tell anymore. You knew that Chanel didn't want to hear about it again, you had called the police and they had told you that there weren't any signs of breaking and entering. You considered telling Max or anyone else on the Grid but what help would they be? They would probably just tell you you were stressed and imagining things.

Which you weren't. You knew you weren't.

Right?

And you thought that you would be safe at the paddock, it was such a huge space that there shouldn't be any reason for you to feel like you still had unwanted eyes on you but you did.

You were exhausted so maybe that was the reason for your heightened paranoia. It was hard to sleep when you felt like you were playing a game that you didn't even know the rules of or when you couldn't shake off the feeling that there was someone else in your room, watching over you like some sick and twisted guardian angel.

You had made it through the paparazzi and multiple fans wanting pictures or for you to sign something. You sucked it up, pretended that there was absolutely nothing wrong and that you didn't feel like every moment you spent alone was the complete opposite.

You were putting on your gloves, leaning against the wall and thinking about your current situation when a voice had pulled you from your thoughts.

"Long night?"

You stiffened. "What?"

The voice came from in front of you, amused and casual. His tone was light but there was something about the way he had stared down at you.

Too knowing, like he already knew the answer.

He tilted his head, raising his brows. "You just look...a little tired."

There's something about his tone, the small glint in his eyes as if he's waiting for the answer although he already knows it and you dont miss the way the edge of his lips curl up a bit.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. "Yeah...just...a little stressed lately so sleep has been rough.

He nods. "I'm always here if you need to talk."

"Thanks." You avoid looking him in the eye as you walk past him so that you can walk to your car but as soon as you do, you freeze.

He smelled familiar. Too familiar.

"What are you wearing?"

His brows furrowed. "My race suit? I thought the papaya made that pretty obvious."

"No." You mumbled, turning to face him. Your gaze narrows slightly as he gives you a confused expression and you press on. "Your cologne."

"Oh, it's a gift from a fan. Can't remember the name of it to save me." He chuckled.

"It's just...it smells like the one I lost."

Lando raised his brows in slight surprise and his brows furrow as he smells his wrist before giving his attention back to you. "Are you sure?"

You nodded, slowly, almost like you aren't too sure yourself since his reaction shows that he doesn't feel the same. He hummed, his confusion flickering away too quickly, replaced by something unreadable. "What a coincidence."

The look on his face. You didn't know if the lack of sleep had you imagining things but you could've sworn his smile felt coy and the narrowed glance he gave was as if he was daring you to say something about it.

Like he wanted you to say something else. Like he knew what you were thinking and he was three steps ahead. At your silence he tilted his head and raised his brows with a pointed expression.

You blinked at him, your voice caught in your throat, the words tangled in there like a trap—like he set it.

That would just be ridiculous. Accusing a millionaire of stealing some niche vanilla perfume you kept in your home. It just wouldn't make any sense, now would it?

"Yeah..a coincidence." You half-heartedly agreed and he gave you another smile before he leaned in, much closer this time. The scent hit you like a memory you weren't supposed to have, curling around you like smoke and creeping into the cracks of your mind before you could stop it.

"You should get some sleep tonight," Lando said, his tone laced with something that felt like concern—felt, but didn't quite sound like it. "It's not like you to get confused over something so small."

His lips curled into the faintest smile as he pulled back but his eyes were locked on yours with that glint of something that couldn't quite decipher. He raised a brow. "Or has that been happening a lot lately?"

You chewed on the inside of your cheek and nearly glared at him before you answered. "No."

"Hm."

And with that he had left the garage and you stood there with that same feeling that you had the entire week. That something wasn't right and this was setting off every single alarm in your mind and body.

Even after he left the scent clung to the air like a ghost refusing to fade away. The familiar vanilla and musk scent that shouldn't have been there at all was back and it was like a punch straight to the gut.

Lando wasn't even a fan of vanilla scents. Anything he wore was more musky and masculine so why? Why had he switched all of a sudden to the perfume that was so clearly yours.

Max entered the garage, catching a whiff of the scent and he gave you a small smile. "It smells good in here, are you trying out a new perfume again?"

Your brows furrowed. If anyone knew your signature scent it would be Max. You spent more time with him than anyone else on the grid. He should recognize it immediately. You shook your head, pure confusion spread across your face.

"No? You...You don't think it smells exactly like the one I lost?" You question.

'"No? Not even close. Yours was warmer and less sweet." The redbull driver replied. His brows furrowed as he stared at you with an expression of concern. "Are you sure you're okay? You've been really...off."

You don't respond—because what could you even say? That the scent is the same except it somehow isnt. That it's yours but not yours? You sound insane. So you only nod and start to put on your racing gloves.

★

Q1 was less than ideal.

Your out lap fwlr sluggish. The tires weren't quite there yet, but it’s more than that. You brake into Turn 1 and the car twitches under you—too late, too deep. You gritted your teeth, correcting, but it costs you time.

“You’re losing two tenths in Sector 2,” Your engineer stated.

You groaned. You reset. Try again.

The next lap is better, but not good.

P11. Barely through to Q2.

As you pulled into the pits, you cught a glimpse of a screen. The commentators’ voices drift through the garage.

“…not her usual self today.”

“…hesitant....looked unsure…”

You ripped off your helmet and stepped out of the car, shaking out your hands.

And then you felt it.

A stare.

You try not to think about it too much. It's Qualifying and you're at the paddock, of course it felt like somebody was watching you because somebody was whether it be a fan, an engineer or another driver.

You took a sip from your water bottle, wiping the sweat from your forehead as you try to focus on what you can do to make sure that Q2 is a better session.

The tires felt better this run. You're much more dialed in. You took a deep breath as you crossed the line, opening up the throttle.

Turn 1—clean.

Turn 3—decent.

And then the sound starts.

A whisper of static in your earpiece. Just for a second.

You flinched.

It’s nothing. Probably just interference.

You pushed forward, trying to ignore the way your heart has picked up.

But then it happened again.

Not just static. A voice. Too faint to catch, gone before you can register it.

Your hands tightened on the wheel.

You missed the apex of Turn 8. A fraction off-line, but it cost you a tenth.

“Sector 2 isn’t great,” Your engineer said.

You already knew.

You grit your teeth and try again. But the next lap isn’t enough.

P13.

You were out.

You sat in your car for a second longer than necessary. The world outside the cockpit moved on without you.

Q2 should've been easy. You should've made it to Q3 just as Max did. You got out of the car and out of frustration had kicked one of the wheels before storming through the garage and everyone moved out of the way, not even trying to send encouraging words that would only make you feel more bitter.

But then you heard it.

“…not sure what’s going on with her, but something’s off today.”

You don't need to turn and see who it was that said it because it doesn't matter who said it. What mattered was that they were right as much as it irked her to think about it.

The garage is quieter now.

Your race suit feels too tight, your skin warm with frustration. You grabbed your gloves and shoved them into your bag.

And then you froze.

Something glass brushed against your fingers.

You reached inside and pulled it out.

A glass perfume bottle.

The one you tore your room apart looking for. The one you swore you lost. The one you swore you could smell in your home when you hadn't worn it in days. The one you swore you could smell on Lando the moment you walked past him in the garage

Your stomach dropped.

It was gone. It was missing. And now it’s here.

In your race bag.

Right where you never put it.

But it looked exactly how you remembered it, it didn't look like there was any more of it missing than what there was when the last time you used it.

You held it up to your nose, inhaling it softly before you stared back down at the bottle. You could feel your heart slamming against your chest, your throat felt tight and your hands shaking.

It smelled nothing like Lando that morning.

[k2ntoss]

im quite literally in class rn but the jason brain rot is going so strong, so all i can think of is trying to convince Jay to stay home from patrol for just one(1) night because he's working too hard

like you barely see him anymore cuz he's either out running around as Red Hood or passed the fuck out in bed throughout the day, and just having enough of it and just like, getting down and giving him the absolute best head of his life to convince him to stay in (and he does, but only because he's literally physically unable to afterwards, like legs shaky and eyes glazed over, maybe just a little bit subby too?) ughhh god i need him so baddd 😭

- your friendly neighbourhood 🦊

after too many days i'm back, i've been too low on inspiration and i hate that but i read again this today while i was at work and i GIGGLED TOO HARD, 🦊 noonie i'm gonna find you (and kiss your brain) soooo as an apology for being off a few days, here we have a slightly long smutty thing with my sweet pretty boy jay <3

it's been probably over a month since jason only came back home to pass out on the bed, he barely woke up to eat something and do one or another stuff, even bruce was a bit worried about his health but he didn't pushed on it further.

once again night falls and jay is getting all geared up on your room, tactical pants, boots and that black compression shirt that always made your mouth water on when you came in, a small pout on your lips at the sight of your too tired boyfriend "jay... you look like you could use a night off" your voice is soft and so tempting for jason, because the idea of cuddling next to you and rest seemed to be what he needed more than anything.

"princess, you know i can't do that" jason sighs, there's a glimpse of want on his eyes and it's everything your brain needs to come up with a method to convince him and you are 90% sure it will work so it takes you less than a second to walk to him, letting yourself fall to the floor right between his legs.

the sight from that point is even more encouraging because jason looks so much intimidating like that, even when he frowns totally confused at your actions "but you work way too much, jay" and he knows what you're up too so his look changes from questioning to warning and oh, if it doesn't turn you on more because you know that you have the power to turn him into a puddle "you can stay home tonight, i can call dick to tell him you're sick and that you need to rest" your head lays on his thigh as one of your hand traces softly his stomach, fingers trailing over his abs while your eyes look into his.

"sweetheart, i can't do that–" jason starts, he sounds like he's having the hardest time of his life trying to tell you 'no' and it is as your fingers start to undo the buttons of his pants and his belt, caressing him over his boxers and feeling him reacting to your touch. there's a soft growl that escapes his lips, making you sit properly on your knees and looking up at your boyfriend for him to give into your (and his) needs just for him to move so you can pull his pants down enough to see his cock grow harder under your subtle strokes.

"you need to rest, at least one night" there's that pout on your lips again and that innocent tone that he doesn't buy because how could he when you start to slide your hand under his boxers and smile when his hard shaft is completely at your mercy, hand going up and down before you lean in to press a playful kiss on his tip, it sends a jolt through his spine and he can't help the low moan that slips past his lips when your tongue traces his length before taking the head between your lips.

it's always easy for jason to get lost on how good you make him feel, even when it comes to the times he needs to do something important so here he is, one of his hands on the back of your head while you suck slowly on him not taking in too much, your hand traces the veins on the bottom of his cock before stroking it "god damn, baby... you look so good on your knees for me" his voice is hoarse and he tries to pull you down on him just to be met with a playful look from you.

"c'mon, let me do this by myself" you speak, your lips shiny as you smile at jason, his dick pressed against your cheek and he nods "that's a good boy" and the way he swallows hard makes you chuckle before your mouth wraps around his shaft. jason keeps his hands next to his legs, the way you called him a good boy made him feel like he could cum just with your touch but it would have been pretty pathetic so he holds back. his eyes are fixed on the way your head bobs, the lewd noises your mouth makes everytime his head touches your throat and he has to resist the urge to fuck your face.

there's a pop that comes out of your lips when you let go of his cock, hand still fisted around him while you pull down the front of your sleeveless top, tits spilling out for him to look. the moan that escapes his lips is unholy when you put his dick between your breasts, tongue playing with his slit while you stroke him like that and he feels in heaven "you look so good like that, baby..." your words are sweet, he loves the way it feels because he could melt right there and it's what he needs to forget about anything else. he whimpers at the second you smirk, pulling away to grab hold of him and spitting on his shaft before taking it into your mouth again, this time sucking and licking on it with more urge.

you can feel him throb on your tongue, making you pull away again "such a pretty boy, aren't you? need to cum, baby? go ahead, good boys deserve to be rewarded" you coo him right before your mouth is wrapping him again and he can't help it this time, thrusting into your throat in a needy move before you can feel him shooting his load in a whiny moan, he looks so pretty like that and it makes you want to keep making him squirm.

it takes you nothing to stand up and go sit on his lap, his body trembles under your touch and the load you've been holding on your mouth falls over your tits when you open your mouth and stick your tongue out before you pull his head towards your breasts "feel better now, baby?" you ask with a small smirk when jason hums in response, his mouth too busy on one of your nipples as he sucks while looking at you from under his eyelashes, pretty green eyes glazed as he whines softly "wanna stay home for tonight?"

"yes, mommy..." he can barely speak without sounding too slurred from how tired he felt from all the extra work and the head you just gave him.

"fine, i'll call dick to tell him you're sick"

[honghwalvr]

2 > 3

m.list atz.list

genre: fan fiction, friends to lovers, college/highschool themes

wC: 1k

- synopsis: after taking a bad fall and losing your memories, seonghwa, your best friend, takes it upon himself to make you remember him and in the process, you both remember how much you love each other

pairings: senior!seonghwa x senior!reader

- warnings: amnesia, underage drinking, swear words, smut

Going “Home”

After Seonghwa explained everything that had happened, you were thunderstruck.

"I jumped off this Kai guy's garage?! Wow, I would've never guessed I was so daring."

"You usually aren't," Seonghwa said, now that the room was empty except for the two of you. "But high school parties always brought out that spontaneity in you," he smiled.

"How long did it take to bring me back to life?" you asked curiously. This guy had brought you back from almost drowning.

"A little longer than it should have with CPR. I was worried sick about you; I thought I messed up big time until you woke up. Then the interesting thing happened..."

Your brows furrowed. "What 'interesting thing'?"

"You asked who I was. That's right when the ambulance came rushing into the yard and took both of us. Your parents, Hyejin and Junso, didn't believe me that you had forgotten me until now, when it's clear you've forgotten them too."

You nodded sullenly. "That must really suck for them, that I can't remember them. It'll take a while to get used to them being my parents and stuff, growing back into calling them Mom and Dad."

Seonghwa nodded. "You had friends other than me, just in case you were wondering. At school, you're part of the popular kids."

Your eyes widened. "I am? God, I must be pretty," you exclaimed.

Seonghwa nodded. "Yeah, you are. The prettiest girl in our grade—we're in our senior year, by the way. We're graduating in a week. But aside from that," he continued, standing up, "you're friends with the hottest guys in school."

You raised an eyebrow. "You must be one of them, I'm assuming?" He grinned, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah. Then there's Kim Hongjoong, Jeong Yunho, Kang Yeosang, Choi San, Song Mingi, Jung Wooyoung, and Choi Jongho. You and Wooyoung are closest, after me, since you're close in age," he finished, and you nodded, sitting up in your bed.

"Do you know when I'm allowed out of here? I'm tired of being here," you grumbled, just as a nurse, doctor, and your supposed parents walked in.

"Good news, Kyung-jin—you can go home today!" the doctor said. Your brows furrowed once more.

"My name is Kyung-jin?"

"Yeah, Jeon Kyung-jin," the doctor replied with a smile. You nodded and repeated the name several times over in your head.

As you walked into your house, you gasped. The outside was already gorgeous, but the inside?

It was freaking magical.

"This... this is where I lived?" you asked your parents, turning your head to face them.

"Yes, dear. And I know it'll take some time to get used to everything, especially your room, but we'll be here for you," your mom said, rubbing a gentle hand on your back.

And although they were strangers in your mind, the feeling of motherly love was there.

"Let me take you to your room," Seonghwa said. He tagged along because your parents allowed him to. Not that you were complaining—it was nice to have someone your age around in these moments.

He helped you up the stairs, as you were on crutches because your leg didn't heal as well as your arm, which only turned out to be a broken hand anyway.

When you opened the door to your room, you gasped for the third time.

"The old me had good taste..." you said, walking in.

"Yeah. You were really into a lot of sex-song artists," Seonghwa said with a smile, his hands in his back pockets as he leaned against your doorframe.

"Chase Atlantic... I don't fully remember them, but I'm sure the second I hear a song, I'll be a fan all over again."

Seonghwa nodded before pushing himself off the frame and walking in behind you.

"You have some Polaroids of us and with us in here," he said, walking to your bed. It had a canopy, and around the square frame was a string connecting all the pictures Seonghwa was talking about.

"Woah... I was really friends with you guys," you marvel at all the pictures. "Who's who? I know which ones are you, obviously," you say, looking at all the photos Seonghwa placed on your desk.

"Well, that's San, the really buff one. That's Yeosang, the one who looks like he's under a stage. That's Mingi with the blue hair. That's Jongho; he's the youngest. That's Wooyoung, and right next to him is Hongjoong, and that's Yunho.

"You and I are the closest, but you and Wooyoung are also very close," Seonghwa explains, and you nod.

You point to the picture of Wooyoung and Hongjoong. "Who's the eldest? Between them, I mean."

"Hongjoong. I'm the eldest of our group, and you're right between Mingi and Wooyoung."

You nod again. "How does the group go in order?"

"Me, Hongjoong, Yunho, Yeosang, San, Mingi, you, Wooyoung, and Jongho. Nine freakishly hot teens," he says with a smile, and you grin.

"I can kind of see why we're close. Not that I can explain it, but I feel it," you say suddenly. Seonghwa smiles and puts all the photos back up.

"Here, let me help you to bed," he says, helping you crutch over and lay down comfortably on your bed.

"You'll probably still be on crutches up until graduation or the day before, so I guess I'll see you then. My contact in your phone is 'Mother' with a moaning emoji and a kiss emoji.

"Don't ask me why," he says with a smile, making you smile too.

"I feel like the old me had every right to name you that. What about the others? How will I know who's who, since I have such bizarre names for you all?"

"We have a group chat that you named. It's called 'A-Tease,' for some reason. You'll know by the profile pictures," he says as he walks over to your room door.

Just as he's about to walk through, you call out to him.

"Seonghwa?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

He smiles before nodding. "No problem."

[ivystoryweaver]

hi ivy, congrats on 1k! 💕🎉 i was wondering if u have any hc's on how the mk system would take care of u when ur sick? currently dealing w strep myself & it sucks. hope this is okay if ur still doing these & that u have good day! 🩷

You're Not Alone

@suresnips Once upon a time you were sick and I left you there, with no Moon Boys to comfort you... Jake is gonna have words with me. Thank you so much for the congratulations, you are so sweet! Long overdue, but I never leave an ask unanswered

Word Count: 700 Content: sick you, mentions of food, domestic life, slight mentions of Marc's past, not beta'd

Marc has been on his own for years, and even when he was young, he had to fend for himself.

He knows how to take care of himself, having shivered through fevers in the roughest neighborhoods and parts of the world - sometimes on the run.

Believe it or not, Marc is the one who really doesn't want you to feel alone when you're sick. He doesn't always know what to say or do (he does, actually, but that's his self-loathing talking), but he'll sit with you.

Marc doesn't like the doctor - he was raised hiding things from professionals and he's conditioned to think they don't actually care, but since he doesn't want you to feel alone, he will always make sure he's there to wait with you.

He's traveled all over. He's a survivor and he's picked up all kinds of useful knowledge from his journeys.

Marc knows lots of little tricks, like how peppermint or lavender oil can be diluted and rubbed on your feet to bring down fever. He also knows oils and tinctures for all kinds of symptoms, such tightness or spasms from coughing, or simply to help you rest.

Since Marc doesn't know what to say sometimes, he will want to touch you. But occasionally, having a fever means you do not want to be touched - or at least not held.

This is why both of you find it so soothing when he rubs a balm into your chest or oils onto your feet. His dark eyes lock onto yours and you can see straight to his soul

Marc is steady and calm when you're sick. He doesn't want you to feel that what is wrong with you is your fault - you really feel loved and supported, even when you have "just a cold."

Steven is a caring, observant person: cordial to those who dismiss him, professional to rude bosses, sympathetic to friends and mindful and proud of the places he occupies

He even talks to Gus and makes sure he has everything he needs.

So he is going to notice the second you're feeling off.

"Getting sick, aren't you, love?"

"What? No, I'm just tired."

By that evening, you're burning with a fever.

Steven ushers you to bed, letting you know he stopped by the store on the way home. He is prepared.

Steven knows which tea will soothe your throat or settle your stomach. He understands just the right amount of honey or lemon you need, and how long to steep the tea leaves.

Even if you don't prefer tea, he knows how to make it taste good enough to warm you up or settle you.

Steven is vegan so he knows how to substitute ingredients or some interesting places to order takeaway. He'll encourage you to steer away from foods that will only exacerbate your symptoms, like fried foods or too much dairy.

He loves to take care of you, dote on you, bring you trays of things, prop up your head with an extra pillow.

He'll place a washcloth over your forehead and cover you with an extra blanket while you suffer.

He'll read you to sleep if you like, but he will miss you so much while you're down and out.

He's an exuberant puppy when you're better.

Jake helps you get things done.

You're out of it for a few days or a week? All good - bills are paid (if you share them), laundry is done.

Don't feel like calling out of work or making doctor's appointments? Jake takes care of it. You're not to be bothered.

He's going to help you zone out.

He'll make you smile, play your favorite record, watch movies with you on the couch.

He's gonna sneak you junk food, tbh. Steven's teas and soups are so wonderful, but after a few days, there's just that one food you want because you're kinda feeling sorry for yourself?

That's Jake. Snacks and movies and lightening the mood.

And - it's Jake Lockley. He's definitely going to try to feel you up during a movie. Once your fever breaks anyway.

“But I look awful,” you halfheartedly protest.

"Never, mi amor. Just relax."

✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧

1000 Follower/Holiday Celebration Masterlist

Moon Knight Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[cccakessslicemeee]

Some bullshit about Riz. Uhhh I might be cooking or setting a fire so if it sucks you can floss with my eyebrows I guess.....

Spoilers for fantasy high

I think Riz and Ragh could be a cute ship, or at least better friends If Ragh actually made an effort to apologize. Riz would forgive him but then he would move to irrelevance in Riz's mind. No malice or strong feelings if anything. Ragh is just a guy they are kind of friendly with and one that happens to live with a few of the bad kids when he's not in Bastion city. He's just an okay guy they worked with. But again Riz has no real strong feelings about him. He was a bully who got better. Good for him.

I want Ragh to be bothered by that. The dragon slayer himself is indifferent to his entire existence. I want him to also marinate in his shitty feelings about treating Riz like that. Like yeah he bullied other people sure but Riz didn't a fighting chance against him and he man handled the shit out of him. Who the fuck does that?

He did.

I want Ragh to reach out and Riz who politely declines because he is invested or spiraling on his own and he just does whatever he's doing. He isn't being a dick bag he's just invested in his work. If it was important he'd be there but Ragh doesn't think it's that important to bother the guy although it burns his ass up a little bit. He wants to do something about it, at least have a conversation? Something.

But Riz is always work, work, work. To a degree he gets that because he's always training in some capacity but then he's left to wonder does the goblin ever stop? He has no idea what Riz actually does in a day.

In passing Ragh happens to see Riz at the cemetery while his mom was visiting her friends graves and decided to just go and be there with her. Anyway Riz must have been there at the cemetery for awhile because he is passed the fuck out Infront of his dad's grave. Maybe it's about to rain. He can't just let the guy go get sick, he's got uh... Problems to solve? Maybe Ragh asks his dad and Riz, while being super tired and the fact that Ragh isn't quite in the immediate friend group he opens up a little bit. Something something about the universe is fucked up and hates goblins because he did everything he was supposed to do and his dad is still fucking dead. They killed the dragon, they saved penny, they saved adine, they brought two fucking goddesses back from the brink of death but his dad is still locked away in heaven, he can't have his dad at graduation. That would be too fucking much for the universe to bare.

Riz is so tired. Exhausted doesn't cut it but he just ignores that and heads back home to continue working on yet another case. Ragh says something about "your not a machine dude please make sure to get some rest"

And Riz says something like "I'm The Ball and I have to keep rolling." He says it playfully but Ragh hates that. He hates that's so much that something he said has been so deeply ingrained in this guy's psyche. Did he fuck him up forever? How does he fix that?

Ragh spirals a little bit about that and has a long conversation with his mom about how shitty he was. He can't let it go. Lydia tells him he's already doing better than he was before and the fact he wants to continue to do better and make things right is always a good thing.

Ragh has no idea what he's gonna do but he has to go back to fallenial or back to bastion city or whatever for awhile. It fucks up his game a little bit but he pushes through.

Riz solves another batch of cases by the time Ragh comes back and yet again the goblin doesn't know how to slow the fuck down. He tries to get Riz to have dinner or something but he's snubbed left and right because work work work. He's haunted by that "I'm The Ball and I have to keep rolling" comment.

He talks to Jawbone because Jawbone usually gives wonderful advice and he gives him this "If Riz doesn't want to make time for you that's nobody fault but his own. He hardly makes time for the other bad kids unless it's work related." Ragh kinda pushes here.

He has to know if he's the cause for this little green bastard working himself to death and if he can convince him to at least slow down or something. How could one stupid fucking comment have such a strong hold on 1 guy? He's the worst. He's literally the fucking worse. Thankfully Jawbone can kinda talk some sense into the guy. Mainly being Riz has his own hang ups internally he won't talk to anyone about. He's tried to break through but he's just a tough nut to crack. Riz is just the way he is because of his own things. Calling him The Ball and Fabian usurping the title twisting it into something somewhat cool(?) has less to with Ragh than he thought. Which is nice but also could that really be true? It is and he just has to accept it.

Riz is the way he is because of his own experiences. After all Gorgug seems to be totally fine although he didn't receive a nickname that clung to him for years after the fact

He wants to have that damn conversation so bad. At least for closure? To truly know, right outside the horses mouth. Eventually, with some help from Jawbone and the other bad kids Ragh gets Riz out to coffee. Just the two of them outside some semi decent cafe. They get a booth and finally Ragh can come clean.

Only the things he like'd to say stay inside his head. Riz doesn't have the same issue and just rambles on about the shitty weather or how well the Buccaneers are doing. Talking is much like breathing to him, effortless and he's so articulate. He opens his mouth and weaves the most delicate tapestries. Huh... Could he always talk so pretty?

Ragh makes the mistake of asking that of all things. Riz worries that's a kinder way of being told he's long-winded so he cuts up his words. Pity.

Finally Ragh brings it up. He gets into the thick of it. Riz let's him talk. He just kinda buried those thoughts forever again because well, he had only one really bad encounter with Ragh before he changed. Sure it sucked and it was humiliating but it happened in the past and current ragh is just a guy doing his best. It just isn't the mountain Ragh believed it to be, he has way bigger fish to fry now with his many many cases and the council of chosen giving him little task here and there. It's a lot.

Ragh apologizes. Riz forgives him yet again. All is right with the world.

Except it's not. Riz talks with a quiet, commanding passion when he gets started on something and his eyes turn into fish bowls full of wonder twinkling with his ambition. Its incredible. Huh. That must be new. Alas once the coffee is gone Riz scampers off to save the world again.

Bonus points if Ragh happens to be around when someone pisses off Riz just right and he goes absolutely banana nut coco for Coco puff crazy on a mother fucker. Small goblin going big mad feral. Hissing. Completely discombobulated and sassy and spiteful.

Like imagine Aelwen is at the manor and Riz is there and Ragh is also there getting a sandwich or whatever and Aelwen says some shit like "aw damn it all to hell I've forgotten the spoken part of the spell for ((whatever the fuck)) and Riz is just so done with her horrid attitude or snooty personality so he just says something snarky like "oh my gods you've forgotten the magic words? How could you possibly forget Ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang"

Dead silence. Aelwen has never been so fucking offended in her life, clutching her goddamn pearls. Adine is upstairs but she's cackling like a mad woman. So is Zayn. It's so fucking ridiculous.

Ragh thinks it's kinda cute ((super cute)) when Riz is a dick bag like that. That mouth of knives can sure cut deep.

++++

All this is to say that it would be cool to see Ragh step the fuck up and make real amends with Riz and also like they could be cute together. I think.

Fight me in the comments if you hated this.

((this being a thought blurb does not discredit Fabriz or tank any other ship I just think they could be cute together this isn't my political opinion)))

[lovers2death]

"Stop looking at the door."

SYNOPSIS ;; Shane, your loving husband, is so tired of your eyes being glued to the front door of your home. Why can't you just accept the life he's built for you? He worked so hard just for you. Please, just stop looking at that damn door.

WARNINGS ;; Yandere!Shane, implied kidnapping-ish, non-con kissing, this is pretty light hearted to be honest, likely not proof-read, Y/N is NOT used.

REQUESTED BY ;; Nobody! Cooked this up on my own!!

WORD/CHARACTER COUNT ;; 737 words 3,957 characters

MDNI!!! DEAD DOVE; DO NOT EAT

╭──────────.★..─╮ You really couldn't help where your gaze fell. Drawn like a moth to a flame, it constantly rested on your one (conventional) exit; the front door. Oh how you longed to go out once again, to feel the sun beating down on your now paled skin. Shane never let you leave, and you doubt the thought had even ever crossed the man's mind. Not once.

Oh but how it crossed yours. It was all you could do, really. He didn't let you lift a finger. Hungry? He could make something for you- or simply go out to get something if he didn't feel like cooking. All the chores were mostly done, and if you tried to finish, or tidy up more than he already had, Shane wasn't shy to show how cross with the idea he was, ushering you back into bed. Maybe at a time you would've found this behaviour endearing, even sweet. But now? All you wanted to do was work. Something, anything to make you feel alive.

The sound of the door opening surprised you, as whilst you were sucked into your own thoughts you hadn't even noticed the fact Shane was due to be home any moment. The man, for while he might've been mistaken for some sort of devil he was most certainly a man, smiled at you,

"Hello, love," he hummed chipperly as he walked to you, tone sickly sweet. God, you hated the way he spoke. His gruff voice dripping with honey, albeit poisoned. "Have fun while I was away?"

Really; you had no idea why he asked you questions like that. No, of course you hadn't had any fun. You were trapped inside. 'Insanity; doing the same thing over and over yet expecting a different result', you'd heard somewhere, and Shane truly fit this definition. And, perhaps, so did your staring past Shane at the door, almost attempting to will open the door.

"No, I did not." You replied flatly, not wanting to give your sick 'husband' any more attention than he was owed. Any more than you already had just by glancing to him. His smile faltered, swiftly being replaced with a frown. "No?" He parroted thoughtfully, "Well, it's okay, I'm here now,"

You could feel the bed dip with his weight as he sat next to your spot, his arm wrapping itself around your shoulders, "I got you," Shane mumbled sweetly, his thumb rubbing along your arm.

It took your entire being to not puke. You felt so disgusting when he touched you. It really surprised you that he hadn't forced himself upon you. Besides stuff like kissing, or cuddling, he'd never attempted anything below the waist, and not once did he attempt to grope at you without consent ether. A part of you wished to be thankful, but the other, larger, part reminded you he should not be thanked for not assaulting you. That was just human decency.

"Right.." you replied, though you didn't want to. But the warning squeeze he'd given to your arm was enough to tell you that he wanted his little bird to sing for him. Despite it all, your eyes hadn't strayed from the door, basically unblinking, too. "..Doll. Stop looking at that door." Shane suddenly snapped, his hand harshly squeezing your arm yet again, though harder this time, enough to where you were sure there'd be a mark.

"Ow-- Shane! You're hurting me-" you spluttered, eyes finally leaving the door to dart over to Shane, wide with fear. "I do everything for you; and all you can do is think of ways to leave me!" He exclaimed, venom in his voice, "It's not fair to me, sweets! Not fair, I tell you!"

And while your mind gave you every single reason he was wrong, how it was in fact VERY fair, you knew better than to talk back when he was riled up. Yes, you were stubborn, and could hold your own in a fight, but Shane as stubborn too, as well as stronger. It was a fight you knew you'd lose, and you didn't feel like having to play offense in your bedroom right now.

A sigh escaped Shane, and he leaned forward, pressing his lips against yours, "I love you, y'know," he said softly once he'd pulled away slightly. The feel of his lip against your own made you want to cry with disgust.

"I love you too." ╰─..★.──────────╯

[rose-riot-johnson]

Guess what my Tumblr Peeps😁I've finally decided to give writing a fanfic about a Kaiju No 8 character a try and it's non other than Kafka Hibino😃👍When it comes to writing about a fanfic about him, I am excited to write a fanfic about him and I have tons of ideas in my head on what to write😃💡

*This fanfic contains 1 or more long paragraphs (mostly in the end of this fanfic)😅

💚I'll Never Be Satisfied, Until I See For Myself That I Shown You Enough Of My Appreciation For You, With My Love For You💚(Kafka Hibino x Female Reader)

Genres: Smut (Warning +18 ⚠️: Language, Nudity, sexual contact (including Oral (both receiving) (cock sucking and pussy eating), thigh and ass touching, ass grabbing, vaginal penetration, boob touching, gentle nipple pinching), Praise Kink, And A Hickey)

You actually got to meet Kafka, when he first saved your life from a very bad Kaiju and after he defeated a Kaiju. You became surprised about the fact that he was willing to exchange cellphone numbers with eachother, which was after you asked him about having his cellphone number. Months later you managed to see him in his Kaiju No. 8 form (up to reader's imagination on how and/or when the reader had seen Kafka in his Kaiju No. 8 form), which has not only gotten you excited, however it also has you suspecting that him using his Kaiju No. 8 form might have something to do with how he managed to save your life, prior to you meeting him, so your relationship with him has became official, eversince then.

With living in the same home as your boyfriend Kafka is the usual route that is mainly sometimes him coming home after fighting Kaiju with wounds wll that either he would take care of himself or you helping take care of his wounds or both and sometimes you getting tired out from (reader's occupation)(especially when you end up having a rough day during (your) work) to the point you felt bad for not being able to do the chores or not bei g able to help him. Every you do apologize for not being able help with with chores or do chores due to (you) feeling tired and/or sick, because of the fact you would feel terrible about not being able to do so for any reason, he would assure you that there's no need to apologize and your health is very important to him (if he's being honest your life is more important to him than having chores get done).

Kafka does try to make you feel better while being honest about your health and life being very important to him and in his eyes you were being too hard on yourself whenever you're unable to do chores or even help him do it for any reason, however you felt deep down it wasn't just about that. You felt like deep down you haven't shown him how much you appreciate everything he had ever did for you, especially with taking care of you and saving your life. You just will never be satisfied until you fully show him how much you appreciate him and you don't just want to hear it from him despite of you knowing he was telling you the truth. You also want to see his expressions and him feeling your appreciation, for yourself.

One night, you came up with a plan to show Kafka, how much you appreciate him and having him feel the appreciation you're about to show him. Once he came home from fighting the bad Kaiju, you decided to check on him for any wounds and surprisingly he didn't have any wounds, however once he sat down on one of the chairs in the kitchen you decided to give him a back, shoulder, and arm massage, as he goes, "I'm surprised you're massaging me like this, (Female Reader Name)... What's the occasion, sweetie?". "I don't think there's an exact specific occasion really, Kafka... I just figured I'd really show you how much I appreciate you and stuff... Even tough it will be your night, I will also take extra care of you, babe...", you replied with your sweet talking, as you sneakily unbuckle his belt, then quietly unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, knowing he's distracted with your conversation with him and with taking his shirt off, before going back to massaging him and asking, "Would you like anything to eat hun?".

Kafka was then confused as he replied, "I thought, I had the dinner you made me before my mission to fight another Kaiju, (Female Reader Name)?". You continued to massage his back, shoulders, and arms, as you whispered in his ear, "What about (dessert or a midnight snack)? I clearly remember that you haven't had dessert nor any snacks in a while, so let me treat you. Go on... Lay on the bed while I get dessert set up for you.", before you kissed him on one of his facial cheeks and stopped giving him a back, shoulder, arm massage, as you let him stand up, as his pants completely fell down. Before he was able to make an attempt to pull his pants back up and ask about how his pants feel down, you played innocent pretending you didn't notice his hard on, when you cooed, "Oh... What a surprise that your pants ended up falling down... Oh well... It might end up getting toasty in here later, so you might want to leave your pants off...".

Despite Kafka giving you a weird look on his face, he did what you asked, by finishing getting his pants removed and handing you that same pair of pants that fell off on him and replied, "I guess you're right, my weather lady... It still feels a little toasty inside the place, even after I took my shirt off... I should have remembered that you know, so well...", before winking at you, as he went inside the bedroom he shares with you, turned on the air conditioner, then lay on the bed, while he's waiting for you, as he's trying to figure out how his pants fell down. He was also thinking about what you mentioned about "toasty" in here, as he decided to pull his boxers down just to his knees, so he can keep his dick cooled down a little, then he saw you completely naked. He clearly doesn't know what he's blushing (and speechless) about more, the fact that you walked in the room after he pulled his boxers to his knees with his dick hanging out or the fact that you came inside the room, where he can see you completely naked.

Kafka then figured out you might be up to something, as he mentioned, "Since you walked in the room completely naked, what's your plan actually? Something tells me that my pants weren't unbuttoned nor unzipped... Infact my belt wasn't even unbuckled... Atleast not until you decided to massage my back, shoulders, and arms... What are you really planning, since you're not actually going to make me (desert or a midnight snack)?". You only answered him with, "You'll see...", before you happily continued, "And look... You even had your cock out just for me... I knew you were hard... I just didn't know you'd be this hard for me...", proceeding to get on the bed to get on top of him, as you sat on his face with your pussy inside of his mouth, giving him no other choice, except to eat and lick your pussy, while you stroke his cock, before putting his cock inside of your mouth.

Once you started sucking on his cock, you could instantly hear Kafka muffling, as if he has trouble holding back a moan, so you decided to deep throat his dick to see, if he does anything else. After he felt you deep throating his cock, he put his hands on the back of your thighs, then quickly moving his hands to your ass, proceeding to grab rough enough, as one of his attempts of letting you know he enjoyed how you we're sucking on his hard cock and the way you were deep throating, too. He also dined on your pussy, while trailing his tongue on your clit (considering that your pussy is still in his mouth, from you sitting on his face), as he would open his eyes on and off, looking at your ass (and still holding on to your ass) out of his enjoyment of what you're doing with him.

A few minutes later, you touched his hand to let him know that you're going to finally get off his face, as he then realized that you're done sucking and deep throating his dick. You turned around, then cooed, "I can't have you be finished yet, babe... We're just getting started, my precious... I really want to continue showing you my appreciation in a different way, darlin... I would love to hear your voice and actually hear your words, as I continue making you feel, so good... Let me show you, how much of a good girl I can be for you, Kafka...", proceeding to kiss his lips quick before you start riding on his hard cock. Once you started riding on his dick, the walls of your pussy hole already started to tighten around his cock, as he groaned and praised, "Fuck, (Female Reader Name)... Were planning this.. Oh God! The whole time? Fuck! Your pussy is always amazing on my dick, even tough you really are making a mess out of me, this time...", as he kept moving his hands to your hips, then to your sides, then to your boobs to gently, pinch your nipples, then sliding down on your sides to get his hands back to your hips, as he continued (with atleast a moaning, slight praise), "Please, (Female Reader Name)... You're taking such amazing care of me, in a unexpected way... Just please don't stop riding me like like this until I fill your pussy full... I need you... I need you to continue making a mess of me until I empty my cum inside of you... I'm begging you, my miss sugar angel!", as you were able to tell he was already, starting to get very pussy drunk and he was also showing his expressions on his blushing, face that he was feeling more than satisfied on how you were (and are) taking care of him.

You then replied as you groaned, "I'm glad you enjoyed it, handsome... I'm more than happy to hear you express how you truly feel about how I'm taking care of you, like this... And it's not just your praises that satisfied me... I can also tell from seeing your expressions on your cute and blushy face, that you're more than satisfied with how much I'm showing you my appreciation for you, this time, which made more very satisfied to see you satisfied, honestly... Since you don't want me to stop until you're emptied, to tell you the truth, I don't want to stop until then either, my sexy Kaiju...", which made Kafka blush even more, as you then continued to ride his cock, with his hand gripping on your hips, so gently. His whimpers and your moans then started to fill the room, the longer you kept riding on his cock. He would then move his hands from your hips to your ass, as he started to grab your ass roughly.

Kafka somehow managed to get himself to sit up, while roughly grabbing your ass and you continuing to ride him, before you proceeded to put a hickey on his left side of his necks, as he then loudly whimpered, "(Female Reader Name)! I think I'm going into a climax!". Once he emptied himself inside of your swollen hole, he wrapped his arms around you and you wrapped your arms around him, laying your head on his left shoulder. "You did such an amazing job with taking care of me hun... I really appreciate it, beautiful... Because of you this has to be the best night ever...", Kafka praised, proceeding to pet the back of your head and holding you a little tightly. "I'm glad Hibino... I'm truly am happy to finally be able show you, how much I really appreciate you and since I've seen your expressions, your (tones of your) voice, and feeling your enjoyment on what I'm doing with you and your body, I can now be satisfied with knowing that I more than satisfied you, which I have been wanting to do for you, babe...".

"I honestly, am more than satisfied with what you're doing with me... I'm surprised... I also get satisfied when I get to see you in general... Wheather it's waking up next to you in the morning or coming home from fighting Kaiju, when we snuggle together, you name it! While we do get our off days, just being able to see your face, hear your voice, and even snuggling with you can really satisfy me hun...", Kafka replied, so happily before he loosen his hug to look at you and continued, "Tell you what, (Female Reader Name)... Maybe one day... Or night... I might satisfy you and pleasure you in a way or in ways you wouldn't ever expect me to...", giving you a smirk on his face. You blushed as you replied, "I can tell you're trying to be cute with talking about satisfying and pleasuring me and I clearly think you can always be cute without trying... I love you, Kafka...", proceeding to kiss one of the sides of his facial cheeks. He blushed and replied back, "I love you too, (Female Reader Name)...", before Kafka decided kiss you into a lip locking sensation, which you enjoyed it from him to the point where you locked lips together. Next day when Kafka Hibino was patrolling with Reno Ichikawa and Iharu Furuhashi to see, of there are any bad Kaiju they needed to fight, Iharu joked, "Hey Kafka! You lost to a vacuum cleaner when you got home last night?", trying to hide his giggling and wanting to see, if Kafka realizes you put a hickey on him, leaving both Reno and Kafka confused, as Kafka replied, "What vacuum cleaner? I haven't touched any vacuum cleaners last night?", before Iharu giggled and replied back, "I meant your girlfriend must have left you a nice hickey on the left side of your neck!", as he then happily continued, "In all seriousness, she is definitely a good woman for you, since she left her mark on you and she must have shown you some love...", wanting to shake hands with Kafka, before Reno used a mirror he must have brought with him for Kafka to see for himself, as he tried to hide his happy blushing, after he realized that you must have put a hickey on him, while you were riding on Kafka's dick that night. He would then mumble to himself, "One of these nights... I'm going to definitely show her the lovin' she'll never forget... I will definitely show, (Female Reader) a good time for putting a hickey on me...", before he smirked, while still blushing.

💚The End💚

I really did my best with putting alot of thought into the fanfic and I do hope you enjoyed this fanfic about Kafka, especially with the ending, which the ending was last minute honestly😃👍While in ways this fanfic is similar to atleast some of the other smut fanfics, however in ways I decided to write it a different way😁👍If there are any errors in grammar or spelling I did rush the fanfic and/or forgot to proof read it first, the fact I really got excited to write this (or any) fanfic about Kafka (regardless of any genres (even if I was write about another genre instead of smut) and wanted to try different ways of writing this Kafka fanfic than I typically writing storyline wise😅😃👍The reason(s) why I'm inspired to write a fanfic about him is because I have seen posts mentioning about the Kaiju No 8 manga, then one day I decided to read one of the volumes of Kaiju No. 8 months ago and I really enjoyed the manga, so when I found out about the anime version of Kaiju No. 8, I was happy about it, and from watching the anime I like the anime (so far) and Kafka Hibino is definitely my favorite character from Kaiju No. 8 right now, so I just have my reasons💚😁👍I do hope to write about Kafka again one day, because I might have an idea or so on how I want to write it, considering I had fun writing this fanfic and I'm hoping you had fun reading this fanfic about Kafka, as well😃👍

[channiesgirl143]

When you get fat shamed by your mom and brothers and then lose weight and get skinny shamed by your mom and brothers and you've been dealing with that your whole life and the only person who used to protect you from all of the bodyshaming was your dad who you saw pass,away of a heart attack when you were 11?

Life sucks ass,i miss my dad and im tired of being bodyshamed by my family even if its joking,and they cant seem to process that being called a 'skeleton' or 'skin and bones' hurts even if you're joking around,and then i say something back and im in the wrong,or i stand up for myself and im called sensitive when really the hardest I've ever cried was when i lost my dad and it hurts even worse because things have only gotten worse since my dad passed,but no one seems to care and both of your brothers constantly hit you but you can't tell anyone the bruises or cuts are from your brothers so you say you fell or walked into a door frame,when your little brother leaves scars around your eyes because you were doing what you were told to do which was turn off the TV because he had school work to do,and i get in trouble for defending myself But no one irl seems to care and then you gain a few pounds and it goes right back to fat shaming? I lowkey just want my dad back,one hug from him could fix everything,i was so much of a daddy's girl its hurts when i think about him,he made the best food,pretended like he was mad when really he just wanted to give me home made donuts,when he sang to me when i was sick and when he asked why i was crying i said my throat hurted,when i was sick and he woke up early every morning before i had school to give me my breathing treatments,when i told him my best friend used to be a guy and he said 'im the only guy friend you need' or 'no dating until you're married' when id have school the next morning and we'd be playing Mortal Kombat and 4am with Jalapeno Cheddar Cheetos,but he was bipolar so he couldn't control his emotions sometimes even if that meant taking it out on me and my brothers,but you gotta laugh it off and pretend like you had the perfect childhood because you were raised to suffer in silence and pain is only weakness Leaving the body,when your dad used to cry after yelling at you because you were his only little girl and he knew,what you went through but there was only so much he could do to stop it,when he used to sing you songs like 'I Loved Her First' by The Heartland or 'She's Somebody's Daughter' by Drew Baldridge or 'Beautiful Crazy' by Luke Combs

When everything reminds you of him so you try to get by without crying and you meet new people and cant help but think about how much your dad would've loved them,when he wrote poems for you,telling you how much he loved his little girl,when he'd tell you to sit still so he could draw you,when he'd draw you horses and paint galaxies and sunsets because he knew how much you loved them,when you started going to the church he went to as a kid only to find out some of the youth group teachers who taught him recognized you because you have his smile and you eyes change colors like his did,so whenever you look in the mirror its a constant reminder of the man who was supposed to walk you down the aisle and torture your first boyfriend will never be there in physical form,whenever i get married someday im gonna have a seat reserved for his spirit. You will always be enough for me,im sorry for every time i ever rejected your hugs,I'm sorry i didn't say i love you that night,im sorry i cant see you,im sorry for crying,i know you would want me to be happy but its so hard without you,i miss you more than anything and ill always be your little girl.

I love you,Dad.

[ummmlife]

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami Boyfriend

part 2

warnings! : nanami x afab reader ; slight nsfw (still mdni) ; angst (?) ; headcanon ; salaryman!nanami ; if none of this makes sense (spelling and grammatically speaking) i'm sorry but my first language isn't english (lol)

What comes to my mind thinking about Salaryman!Nanami is: misery.

This man lives miserably in a constant depressive state that he isn't even aware of. He lives in a monotone routine that consists of: waking up at 5 a. m., getting ready for work, take the subway when is rush hour, getting at the office at 6:37 and start working at 7 o'clock for 8+ hours, have a casse-croûte for lunch, then leave the office at 1 a. m., get back home for a shower and sleep. Then repeat this over and over again.

The ambience of the city full of other corporative slaves just like him filling every single space of negative energy ends up draining him as well. An endless cycle of stress and tiredness that keeps, slowly but surely, consuming him.

That's how the life of a salaryman is.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami will always come back home extremely tired, wanting nothing but a glass of whiskey and a migraine pill.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami would try to pretend that everything is fine when he gets paid every month, just to then feel a knot in his throat after paying every bill.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who feels helpless every time he finds you completely asleep on the couch after a failed attempt to try to stay awake to wait for him to get home.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami will do his best to spend more time with you but that only happens twice a month because he craves to sleep on his free days.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who could get sick very often due to overworking himself and, basically, venerates you for taking care of him.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who cries himself to sleep silently every night when he's in bed with you while you're sleeping because he feels that he's losing his life in a job that is taking away his best years.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who hates himself for not having enough time for you as he had before and fears that he's ruining your relationship.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami whose libido is lower than 0 and has no energy to even have sex anymore, but begs you to cockwarm him to sleep, because the warm of your pussy hugging his dick brings him comfort. He doesn't just want to cuddle with you, he doesn't just want to hug you, he wants to feel as close as possible.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who will cum immediately once his dick is deep inside of you because, honestly, he can't last a minute with you anymore. Of course, he won't pull out, so get ready to sleep with his thick cum filling your womb and wake up with his flaccid dick still inside while his little "gift" from last night keeps leaking from your inside.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami will shyly ask you to let him sleep with his head on your chest to squeeze your tits and suck your nipples for stress relief.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who ends up collapsing in front of you like a little kid and who you end up convincing to leave his job.

After watching your boyfriend have a mental breakdown, which you never thought possible, you had him lean over you on the couch while he calmed down a bit and stopped crying. —"I really don't know what would be of me without you... you are an angel in my life, thank you."

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami that just quit his job and took part of his savings to go on a trip with you to Malaysia, so he can finally rest in peace next to you on a nice beach with no more worries in his life.

shitty concept and shitty headcanons, yes, but i really like miserable (big) men craving comfort from their partners :) that's all ‹𝟹

[midnight-mourning]

I'm back! (for the most part)

Hello, hope everyone is doing alright, needed a few more days than I expected. BUT, here now and slowly working on being more active. May take me a bit but plan to get caught up with everything and the likes. Going to release promptobers throughout the next couple of days, along with anything else I'm currently working on. Expect some updates on the oneshot, ch. 35 and so on as well ^-^ Thank you all for your paitence and hope to be back to regularly posting soon!

some medical/mental stuff below the cut if you're curious, I was going to save this for the ch. 35 note, but figured I might as well just say it now as it's part of the reason my return was delayed

SO, haven't really spoken on it but I've had a sinus infection for about two months now and gonna be so fr with you all, it's sucked. Like, i've never had one this bad before and it just totally knocked me on my ass. I've been tired, dazed/brain fog, some bad headaches/face pain, all the really fun stuff. I made the joke that I spent like two days of being 23 healthy and the rest of the time I've been sick lmao

But anyway, I kept waiting to see if it would clear up on it's own (and for like a week or so there my health insurance was messed up so there was that to deal with) and it just, didn't. And with everything going on with research (esp this past week) I just made myself tough through it hoping it would get better, and it didn't. So, finally went to the doctor and got on some meds and I'm feeling a LOT better.

The point to all this is to say, I've had no motivation to write beyond very small bursts and thus why I've been putting out promptobers but not the latest chapter of CS. My energy has just been super low, and I had a lot of brain fog for several weeks and I just, couldn't bring myself to do it. Maybe it was a little bit of writer's block from stress too, not super sure

I took the break mainly bc things with research just got, really shitty for a few days there and I just needed time away from everything for bit esp with the sickness issues. Thankfully, things are working out a bit better this week people-wise and hopefully we'll continue to go up from here.

As for why I was gone the few extra days, the stuff they put me on made me feel physically great, but it also made me feel like doing absolutely nothing for a day or so. But, figured out the timing for those so now it's manageable to get through the next week and hopefully I'll be fully back to normal by then ^_^

TL;DR if you can go to the doctor when you're sick, go. It is NOT worth the discomfort, stress, etc to not. Also, take a break when you're stressed, does wonders for your mental health

well, since you took the time to read all of this, enjoy these pictures of a cat that showed up at my parents place a few days ago. She’s a bengal! Which makes her the second stray that's shown up that is incredibly rare/bred to look like that (the first is Nubs, my idiot who eats everything if any of you recall). Not to worry, she went home to (hopefully) her forever family early yesterday :)

[amethystina]

A health update (and a general explanation of my long Covid)

So while I've been pretty open about living with long Covid, I realise I've never taken the time to explain what that actually means for me and my quality of living. It's a phrase I toss around but I can imagine it doesn't feel all that substantial to a lot of you.

So I figured that now that I'm feeling a bit better (more on that later) I should do so. Partly because I figure it will make it easier to understand why I sometimes have to disappear for weeks on end.

So, if you're interested, feel free to keep reading under the cut :)

But be warned: It's long and kind of whiny. But also ends on a high note! So there's that.

The first time I caught Covid was around Easter 2020, long before there were any vaccines, which meant that I was hit hard. But no matter how bad I felt during the illness itself, the aftermath has been ten times worse. I've been living with my long Covid symptoms ever since, so for four years now. They worsened for a couple of months when I caught Covid a second time in February 2021, but have otherwise held pretty steady during those four years.

A lot of people experience different symptoms with their long Covid and, sometimes, they'll change as the weeks and months go by. I actually had a very interesting couple of months during 2022 when my sense of smell just went completely whack and everything suddenly smelled differently than it should. Like, I could be smelling an apple but it did not smell like an apple. It was a weird time in my life.

Anyway. My most common symptoms are fatigue, fevers, joint pain, brain fog, memory issues, incoherent speech, and lowered blood circulation.

(The latter actually kickstarted the Raynaud's syndrome I have on my mother's side so now I struggle with fingers and feet that will occasionally go white, bloodless, and completely numb at random intervals. Fun times)

The fatigue and fevers are the worst by far. For the past four years, I have had exhaustion fevers between two to five times a week. Or every single day if I'm unlucky. It's very much tied to how much sleep I'm getting, how well I'm eating, and how many taxing things I do each day. I need eight hours of sleep to be functional and anything less than that will most likely mean I'll end up having a fever before the day is over.

Unfortunately, I've always had issues with my sleep so, on most nights, I don't get eight hours even if I try my absolute best. Sometimes it's because I wake up too early and can't fall back asleep and, sometimes — because my life sucks — it's because my fever is so high that I can't fall asleep. Cue the endless cycle of too little sleep and fevers.

Because one of the main issues with these exhaustion fevers — and what makes them so difficult to manage — is that there's no way to lower them. Medicine has no effect whatsoever. Once I have it, I just have to suffer through however many hours are left until I can sleep and hope that it'll be gone in the morning. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.

And every day my energy level gets just a little bit lower and the fever a little bit higher. Some days, all I can do when I get home from work is to lie on the couch and stare at the wall because I'm too tired and in too much pain to even watch something. And, again, no amount of medicine helps.

It continues on like this for a while and, every third or fourth month or so, the strain eventually becomes too much and I fall ill. My body simply shuts down from the continued stress and exhaustion, to the point where I can barely get out of bed. And, usually, I can feel it coming. On top of the fevers, I start coughing, then get a headache, and then my nose gets stuffy. And, by that time, I know I have about two to four days before I get sick. It's so accurate that my coworkers have learned that when I give the sign, they have to tell me whatever tasks they need to be finished within the near future since I'll probably be out of commission for one to two weeks.

But I eventually recover, go back to work, and so the cycle starts again. And again. And again. And again.

For four years.

All of this has, unsurprisingly, affected my quality of life to a pretty significant degree. I can barely work, let alone spend time doing any of my hobbies. I can't really travel anymore and, if I do, I'll get sick from the exhaustion. Even the 50-minute commute to the office (which I have to do three times a week) usually results in a fever before the day is over.

This inability to travel was how I ended up missing my maternal granddad's funeral. My shitty relatives didn't tell us the date for when he would be buried until there were only two days left and even if I could have put myself on an overnight train to get there, I knew I would be in no shape to actually be at the funeral if I did. So I couldn't go.

I did go to sit with my paternal grandmother as she was dying but, as expected, I got sick and couldn't return to work for a couple of days afterwards.

I also have to skip most birthday celebrations and any events happening on weekdays since I'm usually too feverish or won't manage the required trip to get there. My life has shrunk so much I barely recognise it anymore. I don't recognise myself. I used to be one of those people who could do a million things at the same time and somehow complete all of them. I was firm, organised, and efficient.

And now I'm not.

(... or, well, technically I am — at least compared to many others — but not compared to how I used to be xD)

Point being, a lot of things have changed and I don't like it. But, with that said, I'm also well aware that I'm lucky to be alive and I'm fortunate enough to have a stable job and a roof over my head. So, all things considered, I'm still doing pretty well.

But I also can't lie and say that this hasn't affected me in a deep and fundamental way. My life has changed and, right now, I don't know if it'll ever return to what I used to consider normal. And dealing with that knowledge — and the grief and fear that comes with it — hasn't been easy. I have cried ugly, self-pitying tears over this many, many times. It's frustrating to have no control over what my body does and to constantly have to be careful of what I do so I don't exhaust myself. I am furious that this happened to me.

But, after four years, there's also a certain amount of acceptance. And while I'm annoyed by my new limitations, I try my best not to feel too sorry for myself. Instead, I try to adapt as best I can, even if I might not always do it gracefully.

That does mean that I sometimes push myself more than I should, though. Because, if I didn't, I wouldn't never produce anything. As depressing as it is to admit, everything I've given you in the past four years has been while I was sick. I don't think a single chapter I've written or drawing I've made has been untouched by this. I've become an expert at writing, editing, and drawing even with a fever.

That doesn't mean I regret it, though — quite the opposite. I think that if I hadn't had a reason to write and draw, I would have felt even worse. A lof of the time, the excitement I feel when I'm able to post a chapter or show off a drawing I've made has been the highlight of my week. It's an accomplishment.

But, that said, it's still hard. Writing in particular. It requires a level of brainpower I can't reach when the fevers are too bad. And so, sometimes, I just can't. I literally just can't.

And, back in January, as I was trying to edit chapter 39 of Who Holds the Devil, I honestly pushed myself too hard. I was so determined to finish it that I didn't let myself see just how bad I was feeling — not at all helped by how emotionally draining the content of the chapter was.

It was only once I finished the chapter and posted it that I realised how absolutely wretched I felt. Not because of the chapter itself, but my lack of compassion for myself, I guess? Because the fevers were bad, I was barely sleeping, and I was both mentally and physically exhausted. And, what was worse, I realised that I was displaying depression symptoms I hadn't seen in over ten years.

All of a sudden, I got annoyed as soon as a minor inconvenience appeared. Everything people said to me was dissected into its tiniest component. I feared that people were secretly hating me. I couldn't meet people's eyes anymore when I was talking to them. I didn't realise I was just sitting there, staring at a wall, until several minutes had already passed.

And, as the final nail in the coffin, I stopped talking about how I was feeling.

And that, right there, is my last warning that I need to do something — always has been, ever since I was a teenager. When I clam up completely, refusing to admit to the people around me that I'm feeling bad, that's when I'm about to spiral.

So, the very next day, I went to my boss and told her that I'm getting burnt out and I need to do something NOW or this was going to turn ugly real soon. Thankfully, my boss is amazing and, after a doctor's visit, I was put on partial sick leave. Right now, I'm working six hours a day instead of eight and, let me tell you, I'm thriving.

Or, well, as much as I can while still having long Covid.

I'm almost angry at how much better I feel because, if I had known, I would have done this a lot sooner. I actually have energy now! I've only had a fever about four times in a little over a month! That's insane! It used to be four a week!

So yeah. I'm feeling better than I have in a long time. The downside is that the partial sick leave is still only temporary and there are no guarantees that I'll be able to keep it. Though, if need be, I'll just have to ask my boss to rewrite my contract and change the amount of hours I work because, man, I don't ever want to go back considering how much better and happier I feel. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I feel like I've gotten my life back. It's not quite the same as before, but close enough to it that I kind of want to cry again — but happy tears this time.

And so I've spent the past couple of weeks just... living? When, before that, it felt like I was merely existing. I've been drawing a lot since that helps with the depression symptoms (which are almost completely gone, thank god) but writing has been harder. Possibly because I forced myself to do it during a time when I felt really, really bad and now I'm instinctively trying to shy away from it. But, since I know that's just my mind playing tricks on me, I'm going to give it another try this weekend. I want to write and I miss the stories I'm working on. And, hopefully, since I'm feeling a bit better, I can maybe get back to a more structured uploading schedule. But we'll see. As always, I can't make any promises.

But that's about it, I guess? I'm feeling better and, since I am, I've been doing a lot of things that I wasn't able to before (like taking walks — I take a lot of walks). And I'm still trying to figure out my new routine now that I work less. And while I still get sick sometimes (I am right now, in fact, due to lack of sleep on Tuesday night) I always find my way back eventually.

So yeah. If you've read this far, thank you so much for your patience 💜 I admit that I don't really enjoy writing things like these since it feels like I'm whining — I was very much raised not to take up space or complain when things are difficult (an unfortunate side effect to being the middle child with two disabled, high-maintenance siblings) — but I also prefer honesty and transparency. And I feel a little guilty since there are times when I've given pretty harsh responses when people question why I'm sick all the time or why I don't upload chapters as often as I used to, but without actually explaining why. So I guess it's time to be honest?

And the truth is that I've been constantly sick for the past four years. Not only due to my long Covid, but also the emotional and psychological toll of all the loss, grief, and pain I've been through. These past four years have been rough.

But I'm not saying that to gain pity or make excuses. I actually think I've done pretty well considering just how hindered I've been. I've improved my drawings so much and have written... god knows how many words. I'm honestly kind of scared to check xD But it has to be over 600k by now, maybe closer to 700k.

I think my only regret is that I haven't been able to engage with you all to the extent I would want. I wish I could be a more active and enthusiastic participant in fandom — to seek you out, hold conversations, and give you all even a fraction of the attention you've given me. I feel like I don't offer you nearly enough.

But I also know that I have to accept my own limitations. So, for now, we'll have to settle for whatever I can give, even if it's less than I would want. But I will keep on creating, trust me on that, because I'm stubborn as fuck and even if my pace is slower, I'm still determined to finish what I start.

And that's the note I want to end this on. I have suffered, yes — more so than I may have expressed to you all — but I've still managed to create some beautiful things. And while I mourn who I used to be and the fact that some of you have never known me at my best, I don't think the me I am right now is all that terrible. Do I want things to change? Yes, definitely. But do I want to change the choices I've made and the things I've accomplished in the past four years? No, I can't say that I do. I'm proud of what I've done, especially considering my limitations.

And, if you're reading this, thank you so, so much for your kindness, compassion, and support. Some of you are old friends while others of you are new, but I am grateful to every single one of you. You have made these past four years more bearable. You have made it easier to keep fighting. You have made it worth it.

Thank you 💜

[the-froschamethyst4]

The Way of a HouseHusband

𖤐Pairing: Househusband! Price x Wife! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐Warnings: fluff, smut, flirting, kissing, fingering, eating out, dick sucking, married couple, language, breadwinner Y/n

Price stays home to do the household chores for his wife Y/n, who makes the money in the household

As Price was gone from the Military but was still on call just in case, his life now is shopping, cleaning and pleasing the misses

He treats Y/n like a Queen, she’s sick? Everything is paused so Price can take care of her I mean in his wedding vows he did say he’ll drop everything just to treat her like a Queen

——————

———————

7:00AM

John Price, the househusband for his wife Y/n. They've been married to each other for 6-7 years, once Price left the Military. He vowed to always take care of his wife no matter what, if she was sick, he'd drop everything to take care of her.

He makes her breakfast, lunch, and dinner just for her. He loves her so much, if he was water and she was fire, he would still love her.

Price had woken up from his deep sleep and went downstairs, he was shirtless and had gray sweatpants on that hung low on his hips. He grabbed his '#1 Cook' apron and put it on his body to make Y/n's breakfast for her.

He was going to make her favorite and also make her lunch in the process. He set her plate on the table and also placed her lunch box on the counter for to grab once she's ready.

"SHIT I'M SO LATE! I'M LATE, I'M LATE, HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!!" Y/n yelled as she came down the stairs still buttoning her shirt.

"Woah hey, hey, little mamas, calm down, he won't do anything, not while I'm around," he chuckles and helped her get ready for work.

"You don't understand Price, last time I was late, he threatened to fire me," she was panicked and was fixing her hair and Price was trying to fix her clothes, so they looked nice and neat.

"Well, he won't if I'm there," he said, while looking down at her.

"What does that mean?" She asks and he only chuckled. She grabbed her heels and purse; she kissed Price's lips and left the house.

"Have a good day, honey," Price yells from the kitchen and he heard the door shut. He just hummed and looked at the table not seeing his breakfast touched.

He let out a sigh and grabbed some tubber ware and put the breakfast in it. He puts the lid on it and then turned and saw her lunchbox still on the counter.

"SHE FORGOT HER LUNCH!!" He yells, he quickly removed his apron, and went to go find a shirt and some shoes and got in his car and drove to Y/n's work.

Y/n got to her cubical and sat down in it, she rested her hands on her stomach after she felt it grumble.

"Ah man...hey Beth, do you know if the lounge has any donuts or anything?" Y/n asked, leaning over her cubical.

"No girl, every man for themselves."

"Oh damn," she said as she sat back down in her chair and felt her stomach grumble again.

"Y/n, your husband is here," Stacy said over the intercom.

"Y/N WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LATE!!?" She heard her boss yell. She looked over her shoulder and saw him angerly stomp to her desk.

"Ummm~ s-sorry sir, I-I overslept..." she said as she stood up and played with her fingers feeling nervous.

"I overslept," he mocked her voice. "THAT IS SUCH A LAME ASS EXCUSE, I'M TIRED OF HEARING THAT EXCUSE COME FROM EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!! Y/n I swear to God, you are fi-"

"Love, you forgot your lunch and I bought breakfast since you didn't eat," Price said coming around the corner and giving her, the breakfast and lunchbox. He kissed her temple and placed his hands on her waist. "Oh, is this the boss?" He asked.

"Y-Yeah...P-Price this is M-Mr.Williams, my b-boss, Mr.Williams this is my husband, John," she stutters. John knows Y/n well, when she stutters it means something just made her embarrassed, scared or uncomfortable.

"What was...going on? I heard yelling not too long ago," he says, while looking at her boss.

"I was...I was just telling my staff how much I appreciate them."

What a fucking lie and Price knew it was too.

"Really then...what were you going to tell my wife?"

"T-That she is-"

"Fired?"

"No, no, NO! I was going to say you are fire, like she's so cool, that I'm glad she is part of my staff." Lair.

"Oh really, I'm glad..." Price had an unamused looked on his face. "Well since you think she's 'fire' then...why did you threaten to fire her if she was late again?"

"I was joking," Price can be scary if he wanted to, but all Price was doing was looking annoyed and it made Mr.Williams scared because no one faces him like Price is doing.

"Yeah, right. If you ever threated my wife with some sort of nonsense again....I will come down here personally and beat you into a pulp, do we understand each other?" Price asked.

Mr.Williams quickly nods his head. "Yes, I understand, I understand perfectly."

"Good...now leave my wife alone, you'll only address her if you need something not to bitch to her about her lateness...that ALSO goes for everyone else in this business, you will not address them to bitch at them for their mistakes, you will address to them if you need something."

"I understand," Price just chuckles before kissing Y/n's temple again.

"Thank you, handsome..." Y/n said as she kissed his lips.

"I'll see you later, little mama," he says before walking away. "Bye-bye everyone, bye-bye Mr.Williams." Price teased and Mr.Williams just nodded his head as he understood.

---------

11:40AM

Price was now cleaning around the house; he was back in his original attire from this morning. No shirt and sweatpants.

He cleaned the hard wooden floors, the counter tops, and dusted everything. He hummed a soft tune and thought about Y/n, he mainly was thinking if he embarrassed her at work today?

He was only trying to protect her; he wasn't trying to embarrass her for no reason.

"Should I apologize?" He asked himself. "No, she would have told me to leave when I started talking..."

Price just looked at the clock he has 4 hours before Y/n comes back home for the day. He still needed to go get groceries for dinner tonight.

He finished up cleaning and grabbed his shirt, shoes and keys. He went to the local grocery store and went to go get his ingredients for dinner tonight.

He wanted to treat Y/n.

--------

3:00PM

Y/n pulled into the driveway, she rubbed her tired head and opened the front door. Once she stepped into the house, she was hit with the best smell ever.

She came around the corner of the kitchen and saw her husband making dinner for her. He was moving swiftly around the kitchen fixing her the perfect Dinner she's ever had while being with him.

"John?"

"Love, welcome home, I didn't hear you come in, I'm just almost with dinner," he says, she sets her stuff down and sat down in her usual spot.

She smiled when she saw him start to plate everything. He set Y/n's down first and then his.

"Price, what is it?" She asked him with her usual sweet smile.

"I saw Ghost post it on Facebook (he would use Facebook tell me I'm wrong) a couple nights ago and I figured I should make it for you one day, and I thought today would be perfect, you know since...I embarrassed you at work."

"Embarrassed me? You didn't embarrass me, Price. I was actually so happy to see you come in, I knew you would stand up for me. I try to do it, but I can't with Mr.Williams, he's just so mean and rude that I was scared to say something, this morning. You could never embarrass me." She smiles at him. Price felt relieved that he didn't say or do anything embarrassing.

"I'm glad, I didn't embarrass you."

"Even if you did...I could never get mad at you," she smiles.

"Good," he smiles.

Price and Y/n ate dinner and talked about Y/n's day and even Price's day. He talked about when he walked out of the grocery store, he saw a kitten and gave it some food and thought about taking it home but didn't know how Y/n would feel about it.

"I mean wouldn't mind it; I've always wanted a pet when we started living together just didn't know...how you would feel," they both laugh.

"If I see it again, I'll bring it home."

"Good."

Once they were done eating, Price cleaned the plates as Y/n went to the bedroom to go change from her work attire to some more comfy clothes.

She wore one of Price's t-shirts and just some black panties. She walked back downstairs and saw him cleaning.

"I could do it."

"No, no way, I'll do it," Price said.

"But I want to help," she smiles.

"It's fine, love, I can do it, I appetite though lovely."

"Okay," she ducked down and got between him and the sink, she looked up and kissed his jaw. She then started to move down, and she grabbed a hold of the top of his sweatpants, but Price immediately grabbed them trying to pull them back up.

"Hey, what are you doing, love?"

"I want to pleasure you."

"But that's my job," he says looking down at her face.

"But I want to you to feel good, you may always make me feel good, but now it's your turn," she smirks and grab his sweatpants again, he allowed her to pull them down, she grabbed the top of his boxers and just slightly pulled them down.

She looked at his dick, it was...soft...but Price didn't care if she saw it soft, he would get bricked up pretty easily.

She barely touched his dick and it immediately got hard. She smirks and she kissed his tip, she looks up at him seeing him fold, his hands rested on the sink, his legs spread, and he backs up just a little bit, so she could have room.

Price let out a soft moan, she wrapped her lips around his dick and then moved her hand back and forth as her tongue then swirled around his dick.

"Ah s-shit, l-love," he moans.

"Are you about to cum already?" She asks, looking up at him with such big doe eyes.

"Maybe," his legs shake a little bit.

She giggles at him and continues to suck him off, she earned so many moans and groans from him. She just smiled at up him.

"Holt fuck," he moans, he then moved his hand to the back of her head and just held her hair, letting her do the work. He felt his body jerk a bit and he ended up coming in her mouth.

She moved off his dick and showed him the cum in her mouth, she closed her mouth and swallowed, it has been a while since she sucked him off, Price mainly keeps his wife pleased that sometimes he neglects himself.

"Wow," he cups her chin making her make eye contact with him. "Now...it's your turn," he smirks.

He picks her off the floor, he pulled his boxers and sweatpants back up, he sets Y/n on the counter and pushes the bottom of the shirt up showing off her black lace panties.

He smirks and kisses her lips; his hands went to the top of her panties and pulled them down off her lower half. She moans into the kiss and Price's fingers found their way to her clit.

She moans when his fingertips touch her clit. He smirks into the kiss and slowly pushes his fingers in and out of her. She moaned into the kiss as Price then moves his fingers quickly in and out of her.

His fingers every now and then touched her spot. He felt her clench around his finger every time he hit her spot. He wanted her to cum almost immediately like he did, but he still wanted to have his fun with his wife.

He pulled his fingers out of her and pulled away from the kiss, she pants from having her breath being taken away and whined when his fingers were pulled out of her.

His face was close to her clit, he licked her wet folds and watched her immediately jerk her head back, her hand went to his hair just to hold his hair, she pulled at his hair every now and then because of how good he was making her feel.

"O-Oh my g-god," she moans. She felt herself about to cum because of him, he started to pick up pace, barring his face into his clit.

"Hmmm~ do you like it?" Price asked with a smirk as his tongue kept doing its work.

"Y-Yes," she moans. She clenches around his tongue and comes into his mouth.

"Fuck," she says as she leaned back on the counter, Price put her legs on his shoulders and pulled her to the edge of the counter.

"You never fail to taste so fucking sweet."

"I don't even have to try," she smirks.

"Let's go get you cleaned up," He picks her up and takes her to the bathroom and start up a bath for her.

[pineappleciders]

hello hello hello hi!!!! seeing ur writing rq's are open could I request mari, basil, sunny, and hero with an s/o whos gotta stay in the hospital for a week?? It'd be cool since I had to stay in the hospital for a week diagnosed w a life long illness and . none of my friends visited 😭 have a wonderful silly day!!!!

MARI, BASIL, HERO, and SUNNY with an S/O who's been hospitalized

A/N: HELLO!! i hope you are doing well, being in the hospital SUCKS and i'm so sorry that nobody visited😭😭i hope everything gets better for you, plz stay safe❤️

MARI

she hates it when you aren't doing well,, she'll visit you every day and stay for as long as she can

she'll bring you fresh flowers every time and will always talk w you about anything and everything. she'll tell you how your friends have been and about the grade she got on her quiz ... literally anything in hopes of distracting both you and her of your state

i think she likes to sew so she'll sew you a little blanket or even a plushie to keep you comfort

gets a little upset whenever she has to leave the room ... she's fighting tooth and nail with the doctors to let her in

bakes cookies for you and u two eat them together . honestly if she had it her way you'd be completely under her care but,,, sigghh,,, she supposes that the doctors know what's best.... smh

if you're feeling well enough to eat she'll always help you do so. even if you insist that you can do it by yourself . she's almost like an over-doting mother in some ways

WILL sing/hum you lullabies when you're tired. you cannot refuse. she will also tuck you in and kiss your forehead . just for good measure

BASIL

he can't help but worry . he's honestly pretty anxious knowing you're not doing well but he doesn't show it in front of you ,, he doesn't want to stress you out even more

he'll send you cards every single day that he can't make it in person ,, they have little doodles on them and you can tell they're made with love

he brings you potted plants and tells you all about them. he hopes that it helps you get your mind off of everything for awhile !!

"this is an echinacea, or the coneflower! it's been used for antibiotic and medicinal treatment for centuries. it symbolizes healing and strength. here, it's for you."

he'll hold you hand and you can't help but notice how nervous he gets when doctors come in ... he really doesn't want to leave but he understands

he tries to comfort you during uncomfortable times ... like when you have to get your blood drawn or having to take medicine. he'll smile and tell you that he's proud and that he'll get you ice cream when you're out if you follow the doctor's instructions

HERO

he's always talking about what you two are gonna do together when you get out of the hospital,, like going to a carnival and getting ice cream and how excited HECTOR will be to see you again

he doesn't like seeing you unwell but he tries to stay positive and make the best of it!!!

brings you anything you might need from home. drawing materials? plushies? electronics? your favorite blanket? he has it all

he likes to eat meals with you in your room and just talk about everything. he'll tell you about how everyone misses you and he'll lowkey be trying not to cry in front of you

he wants to cook for you SO BAD but the hospital always has meals set up for you already :( so instead he'll bring you little snacks like cookies throughout the day

doesn't want to leave the room at all,,, he'll bring in a laptop and do his classes online and everything

worried very easily,, always warns you to take it easy and slow down if you're getting up or something. he doesn't mean to be overbearing— he just really wants you to be careful!!

SUNNY

he HATES it god :(( he absolutely hates it when you're sick and hospitalized,, he already hates hospitals so he just. is Not Having a good time

but he doesn't want to make it more stressful for you so he tries his best to be there for you

admittedly might spend more less time with you in the hospital just because he can't stand it. but he tries his best to not be selfish and spend time with you when he can

he's a little embarrassed about it but he'll draw pictures of you and give them to you,, don't talk about it too much or show anyone though, he'll never forgive you

encourages you to take your medicine and eat well,, he's not as overwhelming as MARI or HERO but he still cares a lot, just has a different way of showing it

he'll rant about his interests and stuff that's been going on recently to distract you from everything.. he might get a little bit distracted and rant for the entire night so be sure to tell him when you've had enough

may or may not fall asleep with his head on your bed,,, or your lap,,,, holding your hand,,, mayhaps,,,,,

[leftoverghosts]

hi nori!!! i hope you are doing so well 🫶

cannot remember if you have gotten any asks like this recently but! what are some songs you associate with challengers/atp?

hi achilles!!! 🍀 i'm doing really well, thank you for asking! how are you?

i haven't been asked this before, but i absolutely love it! thank you so much for bringing it up. xoxoxo

here are some of my choices for the atp:

᳂˙✧˖° ༘ ⋆｡˚᳂

art / a sacrificial persona. he's a lover, he's a puppet and he's tired:

Take away my heart / Take away my soul / Take it all away from me Take away my dreams / Take away my goals / You can blame it all on me

I'm a mess and I will always be / Do you wanna stick around and see me drown? Fuck, I'm about to lose it all

How you like it hot or like it cold? / How you want it bed or on the floor? How you make me feel it in my soul? / Keep your dirty laundry, never fold Never been the one to want control / If I'm the one then you'll be back for more

No, babe, I got it, come here, let me rub your feet No, babe, I got it, do you want something to eat? I know you tired, it's been one hell of a week And everything you need is on me

There is no reconciliation / That will put me in my place And there is no time like the present / To drink these draining seconds

But seldom do these words ring true / When I'm constantly failing you Walls that we just can't break through / Until we disappear

Don't look up, just let them think / There's no place else you'd rather be You're always on display / For everyone to watch and learn from Don't you know by now? / You can't turn back Because this road is all you'll ever have

᳂˙✧˖° ༘ ⋆｡˚᳂

tashi / honestly, these are love songs to tennis:

We're dreaming / The feelings rule / Forever we're young / Pages unsung, ooh I feel that you remember / Dreaming of a past that couldn't last But now we're changing / Refraining

I see the way you move / It's so fluid / With you by my side / Got nothing to hide Now that you're hurting I see / The tears behind those eyes And I can't wipe them clear / Your love was like gold to me

Holding on to patience wearing thin / I can't force these eyes to see the end If only time flew like a dove / Well, we could watch it fly and just keep looking up This time, we're not giving up / Let's make it last forever

᳂˙✧˖° ༘ ⋆｡˚᳂

patrick / god's fucking cocky gift to women and a manchild:

And fuck what's in your phone, let me take you home I wanna take you home

'Cause it's so rare that I'm here, don't plan on staying too long So you should come here, sit yo' ass on this throne This a special affair, better act like you know who I am, who I am

You've been patiently waiting / For me to knock up on your door like Baby, can we stop playin'? / I'm feenin' and you keep teasin' I'm about to have you on the floor like / Baby better stop playin'

One time I'ma say this shit / Playin' games, I don't play that shit

One step ahead of the pack of Marlboros. Still, I don't believe he would take that fall. Those things will put you back / Some paychecks, Set you back about a year or two. There's a sick little suicide in all that we do, / All that we do. And the ground downtown is a countdown, / No air anywhere in the area. Suck back these take-home packs of euthanasia. Youth in America...

[luvhynjinnnn]

songs of you ✰

"I've never loved anyone the way I love you"

synopsis. songs that remind me of different stray kids members genre. fluff, hurt/angst, comfort, allusions to sex pairings : hyung line skz! x fem!reader these are just drabbles that popped into my head while I was listening to music so they probably aren't the best lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bang chan - "playing games - summer walker & bryson tiller"

you and chan had been dating for about three years. people think that life with a k-pop idol was all glamour and unicorns and rainbows. and dating chan was. until it wasn't. now, he was rarely home. he was always either on tour, or at the studio, or at the gym, or the dorms overworking himself. and he never sent you so much as a text to tell you he was staying over. he'd rather simply let you stay up until 3am waiting.

and god knows that the two of you had this conversation so many times. and every time it ended with him apologizing. saying he won't do it again. until he did it again. and again. and again. that's how the two of you ended up here. in this argument. he'd came home while you were laying down, mindlessly scrolling through social media in an attempt to forget about the ruins of your relationship. walking into your shared bedroom, he began talking about something. some promotions or something. truth be told, you weren't listening. maybe he noticed that. maybe that's how you ended up here. in this exact spot.

you were now sitting on the side of the bed, with him standing in front of you between your thighs. "you act like I'm asking you to drop everything and run off with me!" you shout, your voice shaky as tears threatened to spill over, "did I ever ask you to take me to go shopping in Paris? or go sailing overseas and just drape me in Gucci? I don't think so!" the tears teetering over the edge of your eyes had finally fallen and you quickly dropped your head, now looking at your feet, as you refused to let him see you cry. "all I've ever asked was for you to pick up your phone when you're alone. all I've ever asked was for you to show me some love. you don't show me off to the boys and you never come home anymore." your voice had finally returned to it's normal state as you sucked in a breath. the two of you stayed there, for what felt like an eternity. when he didn't say a word, you looked up and met his gaze.

tears rolled down his face but he didn't move. not one sniffle or whimper left him. he simply stood there. you finally stood and placed both of your hands on either side of his cheeks, using your thumbs to slowly wipe away the tears. "chan.." you whisper before he cuts you off.

"don't do this. don't break up with me. you're my world. my universe. you're everything I've ever needed in this lifetime. I've never loved anyone the way I love you. I'm sorry. I know I've said that before but.. but I truly am. I love you so much. I love you in a way that it hurts." he says, tears still rolling down his cheeks and splashing onto your thumbs. his bottom lip quivered slightly. your heart broke at the sight; although you'd had this conversation before, he'd never given you this reaction.

"chan. I'm not breaking up with you. I'm.. I'm just tired." you sigh. "I'm tired of not feeling like a priority for you. I love you too. more than anything. and you know I'm so incredibly proud of you and your accomplishments. I'm just sick of feeling this way."

"I'll make a better effort. I'm sorry I made you feel this way. and I'm even more sorry that you felt like you couldn't talk to me." he sighs, running a hand through his hair.

you lean into him, pressing a kiss to his lips before whispering, "me too"

lee know - "don't - bryson tiller"

minho had been your best friend for god knows how long. honestly, you couldn't remember a point in your life where he wasn't your best friend. or when you weren’t in love with him. he'd always been a shoulder for you to cry on, arms to snuggled under, a body to curl into while you slept. he was just always there.

today had been no different. today, you'd been complaining to minho about how your boyfriend of four years had been acting different lately. today, you sat on your best friend's couch in his apartment and cried. now, you felt as though you had no tears left to cry. you felt as though you still needed to cry yet you lacked the fluids to force the tears to fall.

your best friend walked into the living room with two coffee mugs in hand. he slipped you one before the couch dipped and he sat down on your right. you took a sip before your face immediately twisted up and your tongue stuck out involuntarily. "what the fuck is this, Minho?" your head turned to face him as you placed the cup down in your lap.

"coffee." he shrugged, "and vodka". he sipped the concoction before placing it onto the coffee table in front of him. cautiously taking another sip, you leaned into him and placed your head on his chest. you felt his entire body tense but he simply sat there. "wrap your arms around me, I'm grieving." you whine.

his heart tugs at the sound of your voice. "but I don't wanna”, he whines as well. you huff and take another sip of the hazardous waste and lean into his chest. “i miss him” you say, barely above a whisper but you knew minho heard you.

he tsks, “why? you’re so stupid, you miss a guy who’s not treating you right. he’s not worth your time anyway” minho wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings, you knew that. but you couldn’t help but tear up at his words. not because he was being mean, because he was right. “i know. maybe it’s my fault. maybe if i was a better girlfriend - or a better person - this wouldn’t be happening.” your lip quivers slightly as you speak.

he frowns at your sullen words, “now i know you’re stupid. shockingly, you’re a good person. he’s just a dumbass for not treating you the way you deserve.” he leans forward, careful not to disturb you, and takes another sip of the “coffee” before wrapping one arm around you and gripping the mug in the other. you feel yourself releasing tension you didn’t even know you had as you eased even further into him. that was another thing you loved about being in minho’s presence.

you felt so comfortable around him. something you rarely felt around other people. and minho was so blunt with you. he never sugarcoated things that other people would. “he really only fucked you over cause you let him. fuck him, i guess he didn’t know any better.” he sighed, rubbing his temple.

“he says that he still loves me, minho”

“does he? more importantly, do you? that man didn’t show any effort. i do all i can just to show you you’re special. some days i feel like i’m falling apart but i’m certain it’s your love that holds me together.”

you furrow your eyebrows and shift your body so you were now looking up at minho. “you say he keeps on playing games and his “loving” ain’t the same. i don’t know what to say but, what a shame” he rolls his eyes, pressing his lips into a thin line. “if you were mine, you wouldn’t get the same. if you were mine you would top everything”

perplexed, you tilt your head. “what are you talking about, minho?”

“he’s the only reason that i’m feeling this way. i could treat you better than he can” he places his hand on the small of your back, flashing you a half smile. you search his eyes for any bit of ingenuity until you realize that there is none. “what are you saying?” you cock an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate.

he rolls his eyes, scoffing. “why are you so dense? i’m in love with you. i’ve never loved anyone the way i love you.” he huffs.

oh.

oh.

he was in love with you? your best friend, the one that you’d been in love with for longer than you could even remember, was in love with you? your eyes slowly widen at his sudden confession and you struggle to find the words to respond. “min..” was all that came out.

“if you don’t feel the same, we could always blame this on the alcohol and pretend it didn’t happen.” he whispers with a sad smile.

“but i wanna remember this” you say before closing the gap between the two of you and leaning forward to kiss him. it was better than you could’ve ever imagined. sparks flew and it just felt right. like your lips were only ever molded for each other.

“i love you, lee minho” you whisper into his lips between breaths.

seo changbin - “snooze - sza”

much similarly to the rest of the 3RACHA members, changbin was rarely ever home, meaning you rarely ever saw him. but the only difference was that he cherished the moments he had with you. whether it was when he spoke to you on the phone for 5 minutes on his break, or when he spent his off day at home.

but no matter what, changbin always reminded you that he’d do anything for you. even when you’d been going through your rough patches, like now. to be completely honest, you had no clue how this even occurred. it began with a disagreement. but all you knew was you were afraid that he’d break up with you. he hadn’t spoken to you about the disagreement or came home since it happened.

so when you surprised him by coming to the studio after hours, he couldn’t help but admire you. from his desk, he watched as you sat on the couch and scrolled through your phone, occasionally fidgeting with your fingers as you sat in each other’s presence. he couldn’t believe how you could be so beautiful doing such a normal thing. he hated fighting with you, you were his everything.

somehow, you sensed his eyes burning holes - affectionate holes - into your head. you glanced up and immediately met his gaze. “yes bin?” you said, watching the way blush quickly crept up onto his face. without saying a word, he stood up and sat beside you on the couch. you assumed he’d begin speaking about the issue but apparently he had other plans. his big hands immediately went to your hips and pulled you onto his lap. you yelped at the sudden move but you continued fidgeting with your fingers, looking down. “i’m sorry” he sighs, “for everything. i’m sorry that we had this disagreement and that i haven’t come home.”

you slowly look back up at him, analyzing his face; his beautiful yet tired face. his curly black hair fell across his forehead with his glasses pushed all the way up, resting on the bridge of his nose. he was wearing a black compression shirt with grey sweatpants; his eyes locked onto yours.“i love you.” he suddenly blurts out.

you blush at his confession, “i know, you’ve told me that everyday for the past two years”

“you know i’d do anything for you, right? mobbing, scheming, looting, hide your bodies. as long as you’re dreaming about me, there’s no problem.”

his list of crimes didn’t faze you, as you were used to him constantly reminding you that he’d do anything for you. you nod, silently. “i don’t have anybody, i’m just with you. tell the truth, i look better under you. i don’t like when i’m not with you. when we miss moments together”

he grins at your words, clearing his throat. “i can’t lose when i’m with you. how can i snooze and miss the moments? you’re just too important. i thought you were gonna leave me.” he sighs again.

“you was scared i was gonna leave and I'm the main one cryin'? just trying be your everything, your main one riding.”

“you’ll always be my world. i couldn’t imagine my life without you. i’ve never loved anyone the way i love you.” he pouts, jutting his bottom lip out.

you press your lips to his.

“i love you too bin”

hwang hyunjin - “favorite mistake - giveon”

hyunjin had been part of your life since you were in the sixth grade. well, not your life, per se. more so, your older brother’s life. hyunjin and your older brother, felix, had become friends in the seventh grade, and the rest was history. they were only a year older than you so you’d always gone to the same school as them, which resulted in the three of you always walking to school, walking home, and hanging out after-school together.

and you’d had a crush on him ever since. when you first met him through felix, you immediately thought he was cute. but the more you got to know him, the more you found yourself attracted to him. his personality, his looks, everything about him was the embodiment of perfection.

you never thought anything much of your crush, knowing that he didn’t reciprocate and that felix didn’t approve. when you once complimented hyunjin’s looks to felix, he immediately shut you down.

“i said no. i don’t want you liking hyunjin, end of story.” felix narrowed his eyes at you. “why not? hyunjin’s cute and you don’t even know if he likes me back!!” you whine, rolling your eyes.

“because hyunjin is my friend and trust me, i know for a fact he doesn’t like girls younger than him.”

and you respected felix’s wishes. as far as he was concerned.

once your freshman year of college rolled around, you noticed a change in hyunjin’s behavior. whenever he came over to hang out with felix, he’d always slip away and meet you in the kitchen. you’d talk about everything and nothing until he had to return to felix before he got suspicious.

hyunjin found himself feeling comfortable in your presence. he enjoyed the deep conversations and how much you had in common. you both loved to paint, and dance, and read. you were so similar yet so different and he loved it.

which is how he ended up kissing you on the couch of yours and felix’s shared apartment during your weekly movie night. felix had gone to the bathroom and the two of you had been talking about the scene that just passed. when you turned to face him, his eyes flickered between your eyes and your lips, which didn’t go unnoticed by you. you leaned in and kissed him and he gladly accepted it.

you quickly pulled away when you heard the bathroom door swing open and the boy emerged from it. you were thankful for the dim lights of the living room, so felix wouldn’t be able to see the blush on your face.

the next day, hyunjin came over during the afternoon. you looked at him with a puzzled expression, “felix isn’t here. you know he’s at work for another hour”. hyunjin walks into the house regardless, uninvited might you add.

“i’m not here for felix. ever since you kissed me, i can’t stop thinking about you.” his eyes darted all around the room, and he ran a hand through his already tousled hair, “i really like you. and i know you like me too. i’ve never loved anyone the way i love you..”

“hyunjin, i do like you too. but..” you bit your bottom lip nervously, “i promised felix i wouldn’t get with you. he’d hate me and you too.” he suddenly clutched his chest with his hand and groaned, “the girl i love doesn’t want me??”

you giggle at his drama, “we’re like Romeo and Juliet except it’s not our parents keeping us apart, it’s my stupid brother.”

“who says he has to know?” he shrugs.

“what are you getting at?”

“we can be together in secret” he whispers the last part as if you aren’t the only ones home. “felix doesn’t have to know. nobody has to know, it’ll be our little secret.”

it took some convincing but you eventually agreed to see hyunjin in secret. what could you say? the boy was very convincing. neither of you wanted him to leave so you settled on the couch to watch a movie.

“i remember what happened last time we were on this couch” he whispers, wriggling his eyebrows. “oh really? i’m not sure what you’re talking about, can you remind me?” you tilt your head, feigning innocence. he smirks before placing his hand on the back of your neck, leaning in and closing the gap between you.

it’s just as amazing as the first, yet somehow better and you can’t imagine ever kissing anyone else. and that’s how it all began. the constant meet ups when felix was at work or in class. the secret dates. the anonymous flowers and gifts being sent to your apartment. felix was curious, but not suspicious. he was happy you’d found someone and that (as far as he was concerned) it wasn’t hyunjin.

one day, felix came to you, seemingly distressed. “have you spoken to hyunjin lately?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed. shit. you shake your head vigorously, “no, i haven’t seen him. why?”

“he’s been acting weird. he’s been bailing on our hang outs and he’s not texting me back. he’s been.. distant” you felt for your brother, you really did. he was worried about his best friend, and you knew the truth. but the truth would break him.

“i’m really sorry lix. i haven’t seen him, though.” he offers you a sad smile and retreats to his bedroom.

later that day, when hyunjin meets you at your favorite coffee shop, you talk to him over two iced Americanos. “hyune.. i don’t know if this is the right thing to do. felix is upset. he says you’ve been distant and he hasn’t seen you. i don’t want to take you away from your best friend”

he takes your hands in his, “we both know it’s wrong but you’re still coming over. even when you’re gone, the feelings just grow stronger. should leave it alone but you’re still coming closer. we both know it’s wrong, can’t keep this for long.”

your stomach churns at his words, because you know he’s right. even though you both know that you shouldn’t be doing this, its as though your gravitated to him. and if it’s wrong, you don’t want to be right..

“look at what you do to me, our secret's safe so you're my favorite mistake. look in my eyes, can you find the lies? do you feel alive?”

you look into his eyes, they’re pleading. he’s pleading for you to not end this. you glance away.

“look in my eyes, do you mind the lies? do you feel alive?”

you nod, “i really love being with you, hyune. but i can’t bear hurting felix. either we tell him or we can’t be together.”

he looks at you with sad eyes but nods slowly. “i understand. he’s my best friend and i don’t wanna hurt him. you’re so caring.” he smiles.

he leans in and kisses you for the last time as a secret couple.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n : wowowow.. i feel like these drabbles progressively got worse 😭 if you couldn’t tell, they were supposed to be reciting the song lyrics lolol. can you tell that hyunjin is my bias ? 😭