#i'm really tired but i really don't know if i can go back to sleep...i'm way too scared

[jknox11]

jeremy knox gets grumpy when he's sick.

the first time jean sees it he is kind of amused. instead of getting up early as he usually does, jeremy doesn't get out of bed until cat and laila storm the bedroom he shares with jean saying breakfast has been done for over an hour.

jean stands by the door, an eyebrow raising as he sees jeremy put the covers over his head to avoid dealing with his friends. something jean has never seen him do before, something that is so not like jeremy.

"come on, jeremy. it's saturday. we already didn't do anything last night, you're not going to waste today."

cat insists while trying to pull the covers off jeremy who with a weak sigh ends up giving up and just letting her do it. the moment both laila and cat see his face they realize what's happening.

"what the hell, jeremy! what have i told you about hiding in the room while dying sick instead of literally asking for help?"

"don't be dramatic. i'm just tired." jeremy unconvincingly tries to calm his friend who already had her hand on his forehead.

"bullshit. you literally have a fever right now. sit up, laila is gonna bring something for you to eat before taking some medicine."

"not hungry. just want to sleep." jeremy whined once again trying to put the covers over his head.

"don't make me get jean to get you out of this bed."

"leave me out of this." jean warned still standing by the door and the moment jeremy heard his voice he felt himself more alert.

the last person jeremy wanted to see him weak, pale and sick was jean. he closed his eyes, defeated. and started sitting up knowing cat wouldn't leave that room until he did exactly as he was told. he awkwardly ran his fingers through his messy hair knowing it'd be useless.

"satisfied?" jeremy crossed his arm grumpily like a child and jean strongly held back the sudden urge he had to laugh- something he seemed to be wanting to do more ever since moving out with cat and laila- at the scene.

laila then re-entered the room carrying a plate of toast with eggs and a cup of the orange juice they had in the fridge especially for occasions like these.

"lighten up, princess. i know you love being babied by us."

laila handed him the plate and put the juice on the bedside table. jeremy who still had his arms crossed against his chest pouted a little.

"not like this! i hate being sick!"

and he did. jeremy didn't get sick as often but when he did, oh boy. it was hell. it'd usually take him at least three days to fully recover everytime and he hated how useless he felt between that time which resulted in a very grumpy, very whiny captain sunshine.

"poor thing. i know it sucks, but you'll feel a little better once you eat and take the meds." laila caressed his hair getting a content little sigh from him this time.

"thank you, guys." he then remembered jean standing by the door and immediately felt his cheeks burn from embarrassment.

"good morning, jean!" jeremy offered him a little smile.

"eat your eggs."

"he learns fast." cat joked and jeremy groaned.

"great. just what i need, three nurses wannabe"

"we can just let jean do the work if that's what you want."

laila winked at him and jeremy almost choked on the eggs he had just put in his mouth.

"alright, alright. we'll let you eat your food and then check on you again later. don't forget to take the meds for the fever after eating."

the girls left the room, but jean stayed where he was.

"jean? are you really gonna stand there and watch me eat?" jeremy joked a bit embarrassed still.

"i do not think you should be alone while sick."

"i'm okay, jean. really."

jean seemed to ponder for a few seconds before leaving. jeremy barely had time to finish chewing a piece of toast before jean was back already.

"to make you company."

jeremy thought his cheeks were gonna crack with the way his smile was so big on his face. in front of him there was nothing less than a six foot french man holding a cardboard dog cutout to put by his bedside.

"jean! you're amazing. thank you!" jeremy said cheerfully, his smile still bright and big on his face. "you... you can stay too if you'd like. i mean-" jeremy's face heated as he struggled with his own words.

"after im done preparing lunch with cat and laila."

jeremy smiled again.

"i will be here. we will." jeremy brought barkbark closer to him and jean rolled his eyes, but the small smile wanting to appear on his face before he left the room didn't go unnoticed by jeremy.

[butterflyslinky]

Since AO3 is down, I'm going to continue on from this post here.

Buck spends the next several hours sitting in the hospital by Tommy's bedside. Eddie brings him coffee. Maddie forces him to eat. Eventually, the nurses kick him out because he isn't family and visiting hours are over.

(Fuck that, Buck thinks. I'm his family, we all are, he doesn't have anyone else.)

Bobby catches him in the lobby. He's staying with Athena (she's fine, just in for observation) and promises to keep an eye on Tommy as much as he can and to call Buck if anything changes.

Buck lets Maddie drive him home, because he's tired to the point of being a liability. He almost asks her to drive him somewhere else, but it's too late. It will have to wait until morning.

Maddie stays with him. Gets him to shower and go to bed, even if he barely sleeps. Stays on his couch; she probably sleeps a little, but both their phones are turned up to full volume.

The call comes at about eight, just as Buck was maybe starting to actually get some REM in.

"He's awake," Bobby says. "He's asking for you."

Buck is out of bed at once, no longer caring he hasn't slept or shaved and probably looks like death warmed over. "I'll be there in an hour," he says. "I need to run an errand first."

"What errand?" Bobby asks. Buck explains. "Okay," Bobby says. "Visiting hours don't start until then anyway."

He wakes Maddie up and asks her to drive. He probably shouldn't still. She agrees as long as he buys her breakfast. They end up in a really crappy diner that's more convenient than desirable. Buck watches the clock, waiting for it to tick over to nine o'clock.

As soon as it does, he pays the bill and leaves. Goes to the shop next door and makes his purchase.

He gets back to the hospital at 9:30. Bobby meets him in the lobby again.

"He's doing well," he says. "The doctors expect him to make a full recovery." He claps Buck on the shoulder. "Good luck, kid." He turns and offers to take Maddie home so she can get some proper sleep; Athena's been discharged so they'll be going soon anyway. Maddie agrees.

Buck goes back into the room alone. Tommy is dozing when Buck sits down, but wakes up when Buck takes his hand.

"Hey, babe," Buck says.

"Evan," Tommy says. His voice is quiet, but the word is kind. "Missed you."

"I missed you too." Buck squeezes his hand. "I know we haven't been dating very long, but...last night, they said I'm not your family and made me leave. But we are family, and I don't want that to happen again because we're both in here a lot, and so...so I wanna fix that." He reaches into his pocket and produces a ringbox. "Tommy Kinard, will you marry me?"

Tommy's face breaks into a wide smile. "Yeah," he said. "Soon as I'm out of here."

Evan laughs and slides the ring on his finger.

[jelzorz]

Oh boy oh boy if you're taking ficlet requests, how about Opeli making sure Soren doesn't collapse of exhaustion while he's supervising rescue efforts and providing aid in the aftermath of Sol Regem's attack?

193.

It's all kind of a blur afterwards. Soren chalks it up to being exhausted from, well, everything, but it's not like there's been time to rest between it all anyway. There are too many wounded, too many dead, too few supplies to share between the too many refugees, and he has enough to deal with without the grief creeping along the edges of his mind, waiting for him to feel it and to process it on top of everything else. The physical labour is hard, but he's used to that. The emotional labour...

Well. It can wait.

So he heads out to the castle ruins with different groups of soldiers and volunteers to salvage what little they can. He moves rubble and bodies and supplies, helps pitch tents and herd children, tends to the wounded with the limited training he has. He's worn thin and he knows this. He hasn't slept for more than a couple of hours since the attack and he knows this too. He knows because Opeli keeps telling him to rest and Corvus keeps telling him to sleep and they're just as tired as he is, but neither of them stop, so why should he?

It's been a week. A little more he thinks, but he doesn't really know because the days have started to bleed to into each other and the rise and fall of the sun doesn't really mean anything in light of everything that's going on. He knows that the others had all come back the morning after the attack, and he knows Ezran had given the order to move everyone to the Banther Lodge after a couple of nights at the temples, but beyond that, all Soren knows is the ache in his muscles and the precarious uneven rhythm of his next step, and the one after, and the one after that.

He's sitting by the fire tonight. There's a pile of damaged armour beside him that he doesn't really know how to repair but the blacksmith didn't make it and the Banther Lodge works, but they're still sitting ducks out here. Damaged armour won't do them any favours. There's no room to lose anybody else. He's fixing the leather in a bracer when they find him, Corvus and Opeli, both tired, both weary, both obviously concerned.

"'Sup," greets Soren absently.

Corvus and Opeli glance at each other.

"We've been ordered to rest," says Corvus.

Soren snorts. "How's that going for you?"

Opeli twitches her lips. "I can't refuse an order from the king," she says drily, "but more importantly, neither can you."

Soren pauses in his work and raises an eyebrow.

"You need to rest," says Corvus, taking the bracer from him and shoving the pile of armour over with his foot. He takes a seat next to him without waiting for an invitation and Opeli does the same on his other side, already frowning at the bandage she'd placed over the cut on his forehead.

"You've split your stitches again," she says, her disapproval obvious.

"I'm fine," mutters Soren. He tries to snatch the bracer back but Corvus holds it purposefully out of reach.

"You need to rest," says Corvus again, tossing it back into the pile and kicking the whole stack of it further away. "We all do," he adds pointedly to Opeli, who wrinkles her nose petulantly and draws her knees to her chest.

"I'm not arguing," she mutters. "But whether or not we do relies on Soren, doesn't it?"

Soren stares at them both. Corvus actually smirks.

"We made a deal with Ezran," he says somewhat smugly. "I don't need a break—"

"Yes you do," snorts Opeli.

"But I wouldn't take one unless Opeli took one—"

"And I won't take one unless you do." Opeli gives him a look then, her usual stern-faced glare laced with something stubborn and a little sour, but something hopeful too: an opportunity to rest mandated by someone else that she won't feel guilty for taking. "So whether or not we get to take a break is up to you, really," she says.

Soren pauses. Then he scowls at them both. "That's a dirty trick."

"It's pretty fair actually," says Corvus, stretching out beside him. "You need to rest, Soren. If not for yourself, then for the people who care about you."

"And you do have people who care about you," says Opeli. "You must know that."

There's another pause. Corvus leans into him on one side and, hesitantly, Opeli does the same on the other, their warmth a comfort against the evening cold, their weight a ward against the feelings he isn't quite ready to feel.

He doesn't remember closing his eyes, but when he opens them, it's dawn. The morning is quiet. The fire is out. Corvus has shifted so that his head rests on Soren's shoulder and Opeli has tucked herself under his arm in her sleep. The blanket draped over them is scratchy but warm.

Soren lets himself go back to sleep.

[talkorsomething]

I have Got to get more transgender

[edge-oftheworld]

help i'm listening to an orchestral arrangement of holiday by green day and i can't deal with it

[jils-things]

meow

[izzy-b-hands]

My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.

[knifegremliin]

on my hands and knees begging for my body to let me sleep. please. please. just let me fucking sleep what do you WANT FROM ME.

[running-in-the-dark]

okay so

I want to get better. I feel so bad most of the time. most of all I'm just so, so tired. always. I don't remember the last time I felt well rested* and it's so hard to do anything like this

but I really have no idea what to do about it anymore? my GP doesn't care. I've tried to talk to her about this so many times and she keeps dismissing me (I'm 'young and healthy' according to her 🙃). I've been trying to find a new GP for years but no one is accepting new patients (I'm only calling specific ones that have been recommended to me, because there really would be no point switching if the new one is just as useless - I could probably find someone if I didn't care what they're like).

there's probably things you're supposed to do in a situation like this but I really don't know, and I'm so overwhelmed and to be honest I'm also afraid there really is nothing wrong and I'm just a lazy idiot who needs to get their shit together and just fucking do things. like just don't sleep all day, just don't fall asleep all the time, just. I don't know, make my brain be able to think again 😭 maybe if I tried harder and wanted it more I'd be able to do it 😭

*actually it was a few days ago after I took Lorazepam for an MRI, and then slept like 8 hours. it was amazing. but about an hour or two later I was already tired again so it doesn't really count imo

[martsonmars]

desperately trying not to have a panic attack about university hehehe

[ridiculously-over-obsessed]

Living with her is such a weird limbo now I’ve decided to go no-contact when I move out, like I’m sad and annoyed all the time about her bs and her attitude and her gaslighting, but I also know there’s an end in sight so I don’t feel... anything about it at the same time.

Idk I’ve got all these weird feelings/non-feelings going on and I just want to reach that end date so I can get on with my life, I’m feeling very weird lately...

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

Maybe I just miss havin someone else to blame

[edgydadster]

Short story - Hadda wake up at 3am today, go on an hour busride and stay until 11am. Just passed the fuck out for like, 5 hours? Just woke up and holy fucking shit I am terrified I just started hallucinating...

[medicinemane]

Man, I'm just kind of dazed today

I woke up yesterday around 9am, didn't do much for the day, went to bed... realized it was too hot to fall asleep (cause my window is broken so I can't open it)

So I got up, filled 3 box with papers as I sorted out the magazines and mail

Then I needed to stay up till after 8am so I could go to the post office to return that bowl. Came back and laid down but... you know when your body just feels wired and you really need to sleep but can't? Probably cause it's pumping out hormones to keep me awake to compensate for me being so tired, that's my guess based on how it feels

Anyway, lay down and kind of drift off with a video in the background, but... I think I was just on the verge of sleep but not able to cross over... like dozing at best

Then I hear Bart making noise and look over and he's acting like he's hunting a mouse, and sure enough he was, so he helps me cup it, and then I go take it to a field outside of town to hopefully live a better life... but clearly wasn't sleeping if I'm doing that

And... I'm still up. I think I'm gonna try and take another crack at sleeping... I hope I can do it. Things do at least feel a bit cooler

But yeah, I'm a mess today, gonna be two days worth of dash to look through whenever I get up, and then I can also respond to the couple messages I've got

But oof... hate feeling like this. The non depressed part of me wants to die just because maybe then I could finally rest

[nochepsicodelica]

"All those drinks are gonna do you dirty, ma. You're gonna throw up if you don't get some food in your system, so eat," Toji says, pushing the box closer to you.

You giggle at his serious face, before standing up from your chair for the fourth time, trying to go around him. Toji's used to this by now and stands up, bringing you back down to your chair.

"Stop getting up and eat your food. You literally begged for this. Why aren't you eating it?"

"Why aren't you eating it?" You return, raising your brows at him, seductively. It doesn't come off too sexy when raising your eyebrows makes you immediately squint because of the light going into your sensitive eyes, but it does lure a chuckle out of Toji.

"I'm ignoring that. Just eat. I don't wanna hear you upchucking in a couple hours."

"You won't hold my hair back?" You pout. Your feigned little flash of sadness produces real tears in this state, so it's a little confusing for Toji when you start giggling while wiping at your reddened cheeks.

"Your food's getting cold. I know how you are about reheating fast food, so eat it before it goes to waste."

You smile at him, your eyelids almost completely shut in your drunken daze. Toji can't even lie, it's cute. It's the only reason he's not up the wall about this little situation. Then you decide to drop a bomb on him.

"I'm not hungry anymore. Too tired to eat." You rest your chin on your palm, shutting your eyes. It feels nice. It would take less than thirty seconds for you to fall asleep.

Fuck. Think, think, think...

"Hey." Toji pokes your forehead, lightly, earning a hum and a furrow of your brows. "What if I feed you?"

You laugh, giddily. "Ooo, you trying to romance me?"

"Sure, if you eat."

You laugh again. "Toji, you dog, you. I'm not putting out." You shake your head, eyes closed with a dumb grin on your face. "No, sir. It's food and then goodnight for me."

"You already put out for me, earlier, doll." He smirks at the way you blush, clearly having an 'oh, yeah...' moment. "Eat some more so we can go to sleep."

"Hm?" You hum, rolling your eyes open after your blink of sleep. You crack a grin as soon as you look at Toji. "You wanna kiss me sooo bad. Look at you."

"I'm not gonna kiss you. You're not listening. You think you deserve kisses for that?"

"Uh... yes? I mean no. Pshhh, nooo. Of course, not."

"That's right. So eat, or you'll go to sleep without kisses, tonight."

"Noooo," you whine, dramatically. "Wait! Fine, fine. Look." You take a huge bite of your sandwich, your cheeks puffing up as you chew. "Oh, this is really good," you say, muffled by your mouthful of food.

"Don't choke, doll. Small bites are fine," he says, picking up a napkin and wiping the excess condiments off your face.

You push through it and gulp down the bite. "That was a lot. Got bread stuck on the roof of my mouth." You take a sip of your drink to wash it all down. "Did I look so pretty for the party, today?" You ask, your lips curling as you put the cup back down.

"You did, mama. Stunning. Swept everyone there, off their feet."

You smile, the gesture transitioning into a giggle. "Even Shiu?"

"Yup. Even Shiu said he wanted a piece of you."

You gasp. "No... Did you fight him?"

"Nah, I wanted to, but I kept my cool. If he had put his hands on you, then I might have, but I had my eye on you all night, to make sure nobody did more than look at you."

"I wouldn't have followed him anywhere, anyway." You roll your eyes, suddenly so hostile against the host of the party. "Probably would've kicked him in the nuts and gone to find you."

"Yeah, that's a smart idea, doll."

Toji's elaborate answers to your questions kept you awake long enough for you to mindlessly eat while he talked. You were at the end of the sandwich when you realized how much you had eaten and how full you were.

"Can't... do it..." You groan, lying on the arm you have extended on the table. "Too full." You sigh, heavily, setting the rest of the sandwich down on the scattered fries in its box.

"That's good, ma. You don't have to eat it, anymore. We can go to bed, now."

You let out another heavy sigh, sluggishness washing over you before you force yourself to stand up from your chair, this time with Toji's 'okay'. He looks at your little belly as it protrudes from your dress, proof of how full you actually are, and pokes at it. Your usually soft tummy is temporarily stiff and it's adorable.

You grab Toji's hand so that you don't stumble as you walk. Before leaving the table, he finished the remainder of your sandwich in one bite and threw out the container with the remaining cold fries.

"Damn, you were right, baby. That was good."

"Mhm," you mumble, waiting for him to lead you to the room.

Toji helped you brush your teeth and wash your face, and when you finally made it to the room, he helped you dress down into comfier clothes. Now, you're in bed together and you're in his arms trying to doze off, but you can't with the way he's smothering your face with kisses. It's just kiss after kiss with him and you can't focus, but It is what you wanted. After all, you stuffed your face for this.

[cescalr]

I LOVE HOW YOU TAG PARAGRAPHS THEYRE FUN TO READ!! /gen

Thank you!!! I love to ramble!!!