#i'm really curious to know what everyone has to say on this subject so from the bottom of my heart if you have any thoughts on this:

[blueteller]

Halour, I'm kinda curious... What crimes have Cale done, exactly? I see a number of "crime list" videos about him but the wiki don't really confirm anything💀

— 🌄

...The Time Has Come. 😌

I have long promised this list, so perfect timing! Thank you very much for this question! Allow me to introduce you to:

Cale Henituse's Crime List

(Just for the fun of it, I tried to give a different example for every single one of these. Some events repeat, but not the crimes!)

1) Accessibility of Records for Tax Department

Cale looted significant amounts of money from the Magic Tower and many other places, without leaving any legal trace.

2) Affray

Multiple occasions, like pretty much everything that happened in the Molden Kingdom.

3) Aggravated Assault

Cale rarely gets physically involved in a fight, but I think suddenly strangling Prince Adin qualifies.

4) Aggravated Burglary

Every single time "Real Arm" is in business.

5) Allowing Dog or Cat To Be a Nuisance

How else would you call encouraging your animal shape-shifting kids to be involved in criminal activity? Also Fluffy the Puppy was under Cale's command even if he technically belonged to Princess Jopis, I say it totally counts.

6) Ammunition – Possessing, Acquiring or Carrying

Cale intentionally pocketed magic bombs from the Plaza Terror Incident and used them later on.

7) Animal Cruelty

...Does Cale subjecting On to his "nice act" in front of Litana counts? Oh it definitely counts. That poor child.

8) Armed Robbery

That time Cale & co. robbed the Mercenary Guilds in Leeb-An City, for instance.

9) Arson

Setting the Wind Island on fire.

10) Assaulting or Resisting Police

That time Cale & co. went to Sez Kingdom. Pretty sure the knights trying to stop them from kidnapping the king counts as "resisting law enforcement".

11) Being Disguised With Unlawful Intent

Priest Cale in a nutshell.

12) Blackmail

That time Cale talked to Antonio Gyerre.

13) Breaking and Entering

Cale coming to the Sekka Estate.

14) Careless Driving

Debatable since a fantasy world doesn't own cars – but. I count Cale breaking through walls of a maze on a mother-effing Stone Imugi as "irresponsible driving". Just think of what kind of example you're setting for the kids, Cale!

15) Carrying a Loaded Firearm in Public

Cale has Raon following him everywhere, so.....?

16) Carrying Out Plumbing Work Without License or Registration

Cale has an underground villa in the Forest of Darkness. I'm pretty sure whatever construction work they did there would count as illegal.

17) Carrying Out Work Without a Building Permit

Cale had Dragons teleport an entire castle into the Forest of Darkness. Yet again, involves a building with no legal paperwork.

18) Causing Injury Intentionally

Obviously. Like making fiery lightning bolt strike in the middle of an Elf Village attack. Or hitting a radish with a rock.

19) Collecting or Making Documents Likely to Facilitate Terrorist Acts

Everything involving Knight Rex after he became a terrorist.

20) Conspiracy

Cale and Alberu talking about anything.

21) Control of Body Armor

After reading it up, I decided that mana disruption device ABSOLUTELY falls into this category.

22) Control and Use of Dangerous Articles

Cale adopting pretty much everyone on his team.

23) Corrupting Benefits Received By Commonwealth Public Official

Cale using Alberu's golden plaque to trap the White Star with Embrace. I mean, if being infected with that clown doesn't count as corruption, I don't know what does.

24) Cultivation of Narcotic Plants

Cale letting Hong eat plants in the Forest of Darkness. It IS, in his own words, his own backyard.

25) Dangerous Non-Guard Dog Attacks or Bites a Person or Animal with Person in Control

Cale letting Choi Han beat up Adin. ...Well, Choi Han COULD be counted as a Guard Dog, but. They never formalized the paperwork? I say it counts since Choi Han isn't legally registered!

26) Dealing With Property Suspected of Being Proceeds of Crime

Cale renting a house from Odeus Flynn.

27) Dealing With Property Which Subsequently Becomes an Instrument of Crime

Cale buying the Magic Tower before he proceeds to kidnap Mueller.

28) Delaying the Entry of Police

Cale not letting the law enforcement know about the Plaza Terror Incident beforehand. Also, activating the mana disruption device, knowing it would hinder their efforts to stop terrorism. ...Yes Cale & co. prevented said terrorism better on their own but it still counts.

29) Deliberately Omitting Information

Cale making an Vow of Death to Choi Han claiming that he can't tell him anything.

30) Destroying, Damaging and/or Interfering with Any Works of a Water Corporation

Setting the Lake of God's Tears on fire.

31) Destroying or Damaging Property

Cale destroying houses in the Gyerre territory.

32) Destruction of Evidence

Cale and Raon blowing up Hais Island 5 to cover up Ron's infiltration.

33) Directing the Activities of a Terrorist Organization

Cale's entire career in a nutshell, really.

34) Discharge Missile to Endanger Person or Property

Cale blowing up the whirlpools in the Ubarr territory.

35) Dishonestly Cause a Loss

Cale tricking the White Star into the abandoned underground city.

36) Disturbing Religious Worship

Cale messing with the Sun God's Church for being mean to Mary.

37) Driving an Unregistered Vehicle

Cale & co. using Mary's bone Dragon.

38) Drunkards Behaving in Riotous or Disorderly Manner

Cale pretending to be drunk in the Gyerre territory.

39) Endangering Safety of Aircraft

Cale letting his allies abroad an airship during the Jungle battle.

40) Entering a Place Without Authority or Lawful Excuse

Cale rescuing Raon.

41) Extortion With Threats to Destroy Property

Cale threatening the slave traffickers in the Gyerre territory.

42) Failure to Notify the Authorities of Criminal Activity

Cale doesn't notify Alberu of crap, unless it's to make him clean-up the aftermath.

43) Failure to Register a Pet

Pretty sure Cale registered exactly none of his allies. ...Except maybe the Tiger Tribe that one time they moved into Harris Village with Deruth's permission. Everyone else? Not a chance.

44) Falsifying or Concealing Identity

Cale acting as Naru von Ejellan in Endable Kingdom.

45) Forgery of Documents

Cale and Taylor faking an ancient document to fool the White Star.

46) Fraud

Cale promising Plavin Singten benefits for siding with the new Sun Church.

47) Getting Funds To, From, or For a Terrorist Organization

Cale sponsoring his allies, like giving Rosalyn magic stones.

48) Going Equipped for Stealing

Cale making Real Arm uniform.

49) Handling Stolen Goods

Cale using Divine Items.

50) Identity Theft

Cale introducing himself as Bob.

51) Indecent Assault

Cale telling Choi Han to strip that one time. (Yes, it actually happened. ...Not the way shippers wished for, obviously.)

52) Inducement to Be Appointed Liquidator

Cale helping Princess Jopis overthrow her sister on the condition of benefits for the Roan Kingdom.

53) Insider Trading

Cale selling Alberu dead mana from a Dragon.

54) Intentionally or Recklessly Causing a Bushfire

Cale setting that bush monster on fire in Xiaolen.

55) Introduction of a Drug of Dependence Into the Body of Another Person

Cale letting Rosalyn drink coffee on Earth 3.

56) Kidnapping

Cale & co. capturing Venion Stan.

57) Leaving Children Without Supervision

Cale letting the kids look for Mueller.

58) Lighting of Fires in the Open Air

Cale using Fire of Destruction against Sky Attribute.

59) Loitering Near Schools

Cale & the kittens in the Sez Kingdom.

60) Loitering With Intent to Commit an Indictable Offence

Cale letting Clopeh Sekka spot him that first time.

61) Manslaughter

Cale letting Choi Han, Rosalyn and Lock go and destroy the Archduke's Estate.

62) Membership of a Terrorist Organization

Cale making up Real Arm.

63) Murder

Cale killing the White Star.

64) Negligent Manslaughter

Cale letting Ron go on a vacation.

65) Non-dangerous Dog Attacks

Cale letting Choi Han spar with Hilsman.

66) Obtaining Property By Deception

Litana giving Cale free stuff.

67) Offences Connected With Explosive Substances

Cale commissioning Eruhaben to create Dragon's Rage.

68) Other Acts Done in Preparation for, or Planning, Terrorist Acts

Every morning Cale drinks lemon tea.

69) Possessing More Fish Than the Catch Limit

Cale dealing with Whales. ...Whales are fish, what are you talking about?

70) Possessing Controlled Weapon, Housebreaking Implements, and Things Connected With Terrorist Attacks

Everything Cale owns in the Super Rock Villa.

71) Possession of Precursor Chemicals

Cale making Billos buy alchemy ingredients.

72) Prohibited Weapons

Cale utilizing the Dragon Bones in battle.

73) Providing or Receiving Training Connected With Terrorist Acts

Cale letting his people train in his backyard.

74) Public Nuisance

Cale letting Choi Han act.

75) Reckless Conduct Endangering Life and/or Endangering Serious Injury

Cale every time he uses his Ancient Powers.

76) Recruiting for a Terrorist Organization

Cale adopting the Tiger Tribe.

77) Robbery

Stealing magic stones from the Alchemy Towers.

78) Sabotage

Cale going behind the Empire's back while he helps out the Whipper Kingdom.

79) Setting Traps to Kill

Cale Ghost Operation during the sea battle against the Indomitable Alliance.

80) Smuggling

Cale helping Cage and Taylor into capital.

81) Stalking

Cale entering Alberu's bedroom whenever he wants.

82) Stating False Name When Requested

Cale never letting anyone know about the transmigration and calling himself Cale Henituse.

83) Tax Evasion

Willful tax evasion for sudden wealth increase.

84) Terrorist Acts

Cale & co. detonating a bomb at Maple Castle.

85) Theft

Cale obtaining the blood drinking crown.

86) Threats to Inflict Serious Injury

Cale & co. threatening King Bakehe.

87) Threats to Kill

Cale cheerfully informing Adin he's going to personally kill him.

88) Torture and Interrogation

Cale ordering Beacrox to deal with the Magic Spearman.

89) Unauthorized Access to Restricted Data

Cale & co. coming to the Directory. ...Yes Bud was the Mercenary King so technically it was legal, except from the Mercenary Guild's perspective, it was break and entering.

80) Unlawful Assembly

Cale hanging out with Dragons.

81) Unlawful Oaths to Commit Treason

Cale promising to destroy the Alchemy Belltower to Rei Stecker.

82) Unlicensed Driving

Cale riding Dark Tiger Alberu.

83) Willful Damage

Cale employing Archie to destroy Duke Sekka's statues.

Any other crimes I forgot to list? Let me know!

***

BONUS CONTENT

With the help of others, we've expanded the original list of Cale's crimes!

84) Aiding and Hiding Fugitives

Cale helping out Hannah and Jack.

85) Aircraft Hijacking

Cale & co. taking over the Empire's airships.

86) Being an Accessory to Crimes

All Cale's deals with Billos in a nutshell.

87) Child Labor Law Violation

Cale making children work for their meals. Even if he's actually just adopting strays under the guise of formal work, said formal work is still illegal. Just admit you care, you weirdo.

88) Defamation

Cale spreading recordings of Adin being evil acros the Empire.

89) Deliberate Damage and/or Destruction of Currency

Cale happily throwing coins into lava.

90) Ecoterrorism

Wiping whole islands off the map counts as severe destruction of the environment.

91) Fly-tipping/Littering

Cale casually defenestrating Adin. Watch where you throw garbage, Cale. There are trash bins for a reason!

92) Harassment

Cale ordering Beacrox to beat up mountain bandits.

93) Illegal Detention/Imprisonment

Capturing prisoners of war, like the Dragon Half-Blood or the Flame Dwarves.

94) Illegal Goods Trade

Cale selling and buying items at the Caro Kingdom Auction.

95) Impersonation

Cale pretending to be different people in the Indignity Test.

96) Intentional Destruction of Cultural Heritage

Cale setting the Lake of God's Tears on Fire. Also, blowing up the Magic Tower.

97) Plunder of Public Property

Cale & co. destroying the walls of the capital of the Empire.

98) Trafficking Endangered Plants Accross Borders

Cale transporting the Fake World Tree in his badge.

99) Treason of the Crown

Cale treating his Hyung-nim with utter disrespect, such as comparing the Shining Sun of the Kingdom to a squirrel.

100) Trespassing

Cale in Endable Kingdom.

BONUS BONUS CONTENT

Not technically illegal, but:

101) Crime Against One's Well-Being

Cale abusing his health in such horrific ways even a regeneration power cannot keep up with him.

102) Crime Against Fashion

Cale preferring only black and plain clothes when he could look good in anything.

103) Crime of Self-Delusion

Cale thinking he still has a chance at slacker life.

104) Spreading Misinformation

Cale's track record of causing misunderstandings everywhere he goes is frankly terrifying.

105) THAT FACE

Cale's fabulous looks are a crime in of itself. It deserves a spot on the list.

[comical-wheelchairs]

How I Work with Pre-K Kids as a Wheelchair User

I've given these tips to enough other wheelchair users that I figured I could make a post about it, and this blog is aligned enough with it that I figured I could post it here.

I've spent time as an administrator for a pre-K and school age programs, and I am also in my final year to be dual certified as a special education/general education elementary school teacher in America. I am also an ambulatory wheelchair user, but cannot safely move without a mobility aid, even when I am standing/walking. SO. Here's a guide/rundown of how I personally talk about disability with the kids I work with!

When First Meeting a Class

You do not need to explain/justify your wheelchair, and any adult who believes you do is probably doing it for their own curiosity and not an interest in the kids.

My personal recommendation is to say you are always happy to answer questions about yourself, and leave it open ended.

If the class had to be rearranged for your wheelchair and you feel comfortable saying so, I will sometimes say "I'm really grateful that you moved the furniture so I could get around. I can't wait to meet everyone!" It makes it clear why the need is there, and if a kid accidentally blocks you you can always ask them to move so you can get through and remind them.

When They Ask Questions

"Why do you use that?"

I respond by asking them what is 'that' - being careful to speak with a curious tone. For young kids, they might not know the word, and will probably point. From there you can say "oh! this is my wheelchair! have you heard that word before? i use it to get around since walking is [very hard/impossible/not something my body does]."

"Why don't you walk?"

I respond by telling them walking is something I can do for a little while, but it really hurts. Link it to a concrete example. "Have you ever gone into a super hot car, and you could do it for a little, but you wouldn't want to be in there all day?" "Have you ever tried to hold snow (or an ice cube) without gloves, and you could do it for a little but then it started to hurt your hands because it was so cold?" Make it personal, specific, and simple - developmentally they may still need support understanding that other people have different experiences (or might be totally unable to yet).

"How'd you get into that?"

I typically respond silly - "Well, I sat down!" If you want to, and you do not need to, you can make this into a (short, keep it short, their brains are so interested in everything and switch very quickly) lesson on transfers/how people get in/around with their wheelchairs.

"What happened?"

I respond by asking them what they mean. This typically leads to another question which I mentioned above. Alternatively I sometimes say "I realize a wheelchair helps me get around safely!"

"How do you use the bathroom?"

My strategy that's worked best is being calm and friendly while saying "I don't like talking about how I use the bathroom." If you can redirect after that (point out something for them to do, change the subject to something they'll find more interesting) it'll make it easier. If they ask why, you can say that everyone has stuff they don't like talking about and for you it's the bathroom.

Physical Interactions With Your Chair

They touch your chair

We had a big thing about this in my pre-K rooms - what we would do is if a kid tried to touch my chair (or did) I would tell them "It's so cool that you want to explore my wheelchair, but I want to make sure you're safe, because there's a lot of moving parts that can pinch you! Can I give you words for when you want to touch my wheelchair?" If no, then let them know you can't let people who can't be safe touch your wheelchair. If yes, give them a script to ask for permission - you will have to repeat it. A lot. Gentle repetition is your friend and within two months my kiddos were asking everyone permission to touch them at school. My script went "Teacher Pecan, can I touch your wheelchair?" "No, now it's a safe time, because [I am moving a lot/I am tired/I need a break/you have a task to do]. We can check in again [when it is a break time/when I feel better/when you finish your task." "Yes, it is safe to touch my wheelchair right now. Can you point to where you want to touch?"

They kick your chair

Every time a kid kicks/hurts your chair, say "ouch! that hurt! my wheelchair is part of my body, it helps me get around!" Repetition and speaking clearly are your friends. If a kid keeps kicking your chair, finding another thing for them to kick (for example, a ball) can help divert the kicking need into something safer for everyone :)

They (try to) sit in your lap

Gently use your hands to get them off or keep them off. Calmly say "Oops! My wheelchair isn't big enough for the two of us!" If they complain/protest, validate and then explain. My script is "I know it looks like a cool place to sit, but my wheelchair is just for me."

They (try to) push your wheelchair.

My last two chairs had no push handles, but my second one did! It can make sense to panic when I kiddo pushes you - I've had them try to push me into walls (by accident). Here's what I did that worked great: Immediately lock my breaks/grab my pushrims, and calmly say "oops! We don't push wheelchairs without permission!" If they stuck around/didn't immediately run away, I would ask them if they remember a time an adult picked them up and took them somewhere they didn't want to go (typically a car). If they say yes, and even if they say no, I explained that pushing my wheelchair feels just like that, and makes me scared. Most children never pushed it again, and everyone stopped after the second try.

Miscellaneous Tips

"Isn't that cool?" is your friend. Any time a kid is first learning about your wheelchair, end the sentence with it. Any time a kid is nervous about your wheelchair and you explain something, end the explanation with it. "It helps me get around, isn't that cool?" "These are called spokes. Aren't they cool?"

Wheelchairs can be grounding tools when you have a good handle on the class and boundaries! Only if you would like to. My spokes on my last chair were rainbow, and I would use my chair to physically get between them and the emotional trigger, and ask them questions about my spokes. "What colors are next to green?" "Can you point to which one is your favorite?" "Hmmm which color do I get if I mix red with blue?"

"Why doesn't [limb(s)] work?" My left foot is (mostly) paralyzed due to nerve damage, and my script is "My brain can't talk to my foot and tell it to move." You can say whatever you'd like, just try and keep it to basic body parts unless the kiddo is super into anatomy.

If they imply/say wheelchairs are bad, or you might be sad for being in one, you can correct them by telling them how cool your wheelchair is! Get them to compliment it too, if their attention span allows. "I don't feel sad about my wheelchair, I love it! I love the color! Do you? What color do you think I should get next?"

In conclusion - talking calmly, positively, and using repetition of the same words/scripts is a great way to not just exist in a classroom hassle free, but to get kids comfortable with disability/mobility aids at a young age. I have had kids get pinched by my chair (he grabbed my axle from behind), and luckily I had my higher ups on my side and they agreed that I made every effort to keep the kids safe (plus he learned his lesson lol, he always asked permission after that). Your mileage may vary based on admin and their attitudes, so play it by ear, and change any of my tips as needed. Feel free to send questions to this blog too. :)

[nothorses]

I came across this paper:

https://www.academia.edu/71372307/Trans_masculinities_embodiments_performances_and_the_materiality_of_gender_in_times_of_change

I'm not well-versed in academic language so I can't really understand all of it, but it seems kind of gross and condescending, especially when it's using testimonials of transmasc's desire to be seen as men to, idk, prove that masculinity isn't really queer or something? I'm curious how other (smarter) people would interpret it.

I mean, your understanding of it is just as important as mine! I'm happy to add my thoughts, though.

My understanding is that their thesis is essentially "masculinity is related to maleness and the male body specifically, and we know that because transmascs want to have male bodies". They allow for some nuance here in references to other literature, and I agree with that angle of their argument overall, but their premise is fundamentally flawed in the exclusion of trans theory and trans narratives.

Like, yes, masculinity is in some way related to appearance and the "male body", and there are a lot of reasons for that! But is the dysphoria of trans people really ironclad "proof" of what maleness and masculinity are? And why don't they spend any time talking about what dysphoria actually is, what trans people think it is, why trans people think they feel the way they do, or what trans academics have to say about any of this?

I have a lot of other issues with this paper as well, and I could probably write a paper just as long as theirs going into all of the reasons for that. But I think that answers your biggest question; what they're trying to prove, how they're trying to prove it, and why that comes across so weird.

To your other question ("is it condescending?"): I think this is kind of subjective overlay, but the way they go about analyzing their data is pretty condescending, in my opinion. They tend to frame their participants' responses as kind of misguided or ill-informed, particularly Diniz- who they definitely discuss as "trying to justify his choices" to identify as nonbinary while also seeking medical transition, like this is inherently contradictory and must therefore rely on some kind of delusion or desperation. It's weird!

I do also want to point out, briefly, that they also really cherrypick which claims they bother sourcing, and how they try to back them up.

They argue that trans men have male privilege based on the opinions of, like, three of their 30 total participants- and then carry this as "fact" through the entire paper, uncontested. That's extremely fucking weird and super suspect in a paper like this! I just wrote my own qualitative research paper based on interviews (which is what this is), and it's pretty standard to acknowledge the limitations of your research, and to position your results as non-definitive. Like, that's been a major part of every discussion with everyone I've talked to about my research. I would not have been greenlit to receive my degree if I hadn't been careful to avoid framing my research the way these people frame theirs.

The other weird thing they do is cherrypick statistics- or rather, one single statistic- to "prove" that transmascs do not suffer as much as other trans people, or possess some kind of privilege. They only cite murder statistics from one source; apparently that's the only relevant metric for quantifying all oppression? They also fail to acknowledge any possible shortcomings of this statistic, like the issues of under-reporting and misgendering of transmasc victims.

I could go on; I have a lot of gripes. But I think your criticism is totally valid, this was a weird and frustrating read.

Also curious if @genderkoolaid has thoughts- you tend to talk about gender studies from an academic position more, and you probably have a lot more field-specific expertise than I do. I'll boost other additions too, I love a good academic discussion!

[chanrizard]

BANG CHAN'S INTERVIEW FOR HARPER'S BAZAAR KOREA

translation © channie_says

Q: with HOP you have achieved your 6th consecutive debut at No.1 billboard US chart in the first week of release. Billboard charts and the album sales can be important but as the leader of the team and a producer, Bang Chan, I wonder if there are other ways to measure the success. What else do Stray Kids need to show next?

BC: "it's yet to happen" "we have a long way to go" is what I usually say when people around me tell me that we have grown so big.

I even hear things like "stop being humble, you don't need to do that anymore" but I couldn't do that. Success is a thing that is still far from us. We'll keep on running. Our direction is decided but the destination is still unknown. The goal that everyone knows, I'm curious about what's next/beyond that. We want to go till there.

Q: Stray Kids is like the personification of energy to me. Not only in the songs and performances of each of you but also the growth since your debut till now. You have reached here by taking one step at a time and running without resting. What is the source of your energy?

BC: if you observe every member, you'll see that everyone has something burning inside them. That hot ember burns vigorously when we are on stage. STAY also fuels it continuously. (laughs) Honestly the flames can get weaker as time passes by, but if a flame dies out in our team then it gets reignited quickly because there are 7 remaining flames! We're busy keeping each other warm.

Q: what form does straykids' pride take?

BC: it might be cringy but I think loving the members and being understanding towards each other. I really think of us as real brothers.

Q: is it closer to friendship than teamwork?

BC: Uhm, it's love more than friendship. Should say, if teamwork can be consciously matched, for us it just comes from the heart.

That's why we can understand (each other) even if we make mistakes, and want to evolve with each other. I think that's the most important thing. Sometimes i wonder too, how can we be like this.

Q: do you have an answer to that?

BC: recently I thought "shouldn't we be a little more mature" but then another part of me was like "do we really need to, tho". When we are together we're still like kids in their teens because we're too busy constantly teasing each other. As the oldest, I get subjected to it the most. It's really childish but I like that childishness. That's how real friends are. Forcefully pretending to be mature according to your biological age is boring. In the future too, we'll keep being childish like we are.

Q: maybe the answer could just be that you all haven't grown up but leader Bang Chan seems to have a really heavy burden on his shoulders. What sense of duty does Bang Chan feel now?

BC: I don't know if l am doing well as a leader. Since i don't know, I'm working harder to do better. I have to produce too, and take care of the members too...the pressure is a lot. It's an obsession. I'm trying to accept it these days. even if the members' emotional state synchronizes, there's times that I pretend to not know/ notice it. If I see it then I would want to fix it and take care of the members but that's my obsession and everyone is an adult.

They might not even like it if I step in. I'm trying to consciously put "members can do well on their own" in my head. It's gotten really better if I compare it to when we debuted (laughs).

Q: Your nickname is 'bangbeoji' (bangfather) right? That sounds like a problem my dad who has raised children might have (laughs). Were you a strict leader during your trainee days?

BC: l feel really sorry about treating the members coldly back then. My trainee life was really long, I was the only one left as all my close friends debuted, left, new ones came, and left again....after going through such situations repeatedly, my personality changed drastically. I didn't wanna get hurt anymore so I decided that I wouldn't get closer to anyone. It was the darkest time of my life. l was worrying thinking 'now what will happen with my life' and that's when the members appeared in front of me.

Q: you're really strict with yourself, aren't you?

BC: I'm the type to point out and worry about the smallest things that don't even matter. When I watch back our performances, I always think "why did i do it like that" and I'm almost never satisfied with myself but what will I do if I only like myself. It's good if I like others too. I can't become a self-centered person.

On top of that, music/songs doesn't have an answer. Even while producing I try my best and work hard and make constant improvements based on the reactions that I saw while letting people listen to it, that's the type of person am. I haven't lived long but while living I have found that there's a lot of people I'm grateful for. Company employees, members, family, friends... I want to thank them all.

To do that, I think it's really important to make a result that will satisfy everyone a little more.

Q: we wanna know Bang Chan's playlist.

BC: honestly from the position of someone who has to continuously make songs, it's hard to listen to others' songs. I always end up listening with intent. These days I enjoy listening to sounds from the outside. Sounds of the city, car sounds, sounds of kids running around and playing in the playground.

Q: are you gonna end up wearing a bucket (on your head) later like ryuichi sakamoto? (laughs)

BC: I have even done things like that in the past like just tapping my elbow with a microphone and carefulylistening to the sound it makes. Since I arrange the songs myself, that's why I wonder if there are any unique sounds.

Q: the things bangchan is thinking of these days, feeling these days too, those will come out in the world as your work someday, right? with that, I'm curious of what you're feeling these days and what has been on your mind recently.

BC: what were my inner thoughts recently... (musing out loud) uhm...I'm feeling 'confused'

Q: I expected it to be 'excited like a kid' or 'calm like a saint' but that was unexpected.

BC: these days I'm very confused internally but didn't wanna let that confusion out, I hate to influence other people with negativity for no reason. For this feeling to calm down, I have found that the way is maintaining a calm state. I think the members say "eh? why is that hyung like this these days" after seeing that. (laughs)

Q: that's why you also have started boxing in the new year?

BC: when l took my first lesson, I felt really good. It felt good to focus on something without any useless thoughts for 1 hour. Boxing really feels like meditation to me.

Q: what's making Bang Chan confused?

BC: the fact that people are all different. Really different. I knew it already but it came to me like a new thing. This person is like this, that person is like that. I can't fix them, and there's no need to fix them so I not understand it? No, but still I should... that's what it's like inside my head these days.

Q: you described it as "confusion" but Bang Chan right now seems to be in the middle of putting a lot of effort into understanding the world or people no matter what.

BC: I feel like I came here for mental counseling (laughs). Yes, you're right. As I said I'm not really a self-centered person but still I'm trying to live for myself these days.

Q: you set foot in the entertainment industry at a really young age, leaving your home, austrailia. if we count your trainee years too then it has been 15 years. What keeps you grounded when you feel shaken?

BC: the members. I don't want to become a person they feel ashamed of. I want to hear the members say things like "that hyung is genuine" "that hyung is cool" the most. I'm really childish. (laughs)

Q: l got a hint from"that hyung is genuine". It's said that psychologically, the compliment that makes a person the happiest tells about what they think of as the most valuable thing in their life.

BC: me and the members aren't very expressive/good at expressing ourselves. I don't know what they think but I want to be a reliable and trustable hyung to the kids. I think I might have the need to feel acknowledged a little after all.

Q: if you look at the things you've done till now, it doesn't feel like success came to you really quick but you're still very young. What kind of adult/man do you want to become?

BC: first of all, I wanna be with the members for a long time. I think it'd be really funny to become grandfathers (old men) and say "it was like that back in the days" but honestly I feel like I'm always stuck at 25.

Q: you're forever 25.

BC: yes, I want to keep on living as a 25 year old but reporter-nim*, what does growing up even mean? *joking*

Q: from our conversation today, it seems like you're in the midst of that process Bang Chan-ssi. Accepting things you can't change, knowing how to let go, listening carefully to other people's opinions. On top of that, you said earlier that you are confused in the process of trying to understand others' world, that's essential.

BC: it's not something that happens naturally? then I might really be growing up (laughs)

*reporter felt weird without a "nim" and there isn't really another way to make it sound respectful and not monotoned because ENGLISH FUCKING SUCKS but anyway (translator's note)

[magicians-abode]

Ok so, the idea just popped in my mind and I RLLY need someone to write it LMAO

Your Chilchuck fics give me LIFE so you were me go to, no questions asked

Could I get Chilchuck with a reader (preferably male, but gender neutral is also ok!) who miscalculated the ammount of anxiety medication they had left and ended up running out in the middle of the dungeon? Reader is having a hard time with their anxiety ticks and one of the side effects of going a bit too long without them is his body starting to "shut down" and become slightly like a ragdoll. Reader is still talkative and behaves as normal besides their head going to the side aggressively, flopping to the side and body parts just going all weak when they sit, flopping legit like a ragdoll (this os very self indulgent and has happened to me once, it is not good to say the least LMAO)

I completely understand if this makes you uncomfortable to write! And if so, a reader with severe generalized anxiety would work in the place of this request!

Hii! I'm sorry if this took too long ;-; since I have generalized anxiety and therefore I'm more knowledgeable about that subject, I'll write for a reader with severe generalized anxiety. I don't want to fuck up the other option with the ticks and such, because I don't know about the condition and I don't want to offend anyone. So hopefully this is okay!! love y'all thanks for being patient!

(Also changing my POV today) I'm so glad you love the way I write, it means the world to know that💗

"A Comforting Half-ling"

[Chilchuck Tims x gn!reader]

Warnings: none - fluff

Your hands were sweaty. You had been fidgeting with your fingers for a while, feeling a pit at the bottom of your stomach that made you even more anxious that you already were. The slight pang of pain in the chest that came from time to time the more you thought about the problem at hand bothering you as you sat on the corner of one of the rooms of the dungeon that the group had stopped by. Why were you so anxious? Simple. There was another party in that same room, and the rest of the group had decided to be all social and chat for a bit as they sat down to take a break from walking around.

Gosh I must look really weird sitting alone in this corner. I think they didn't hear me when I said "hi." What if they think I'm an asshole? Or a weirdo? Or a weird asshole?! you thought, looking around the room.

—Oh yeah, and that one there is (y/n), they're kinda shy— you jumped, your head snapping back to stare at the middle of the room as Laios pointed a finger back at you. Everyone's eyes were on you. Never had you wanted earth to swallow you whole and never come back so desperately before.

As the conversation resumed, the half-foot's eyes stayed on you, a curious and worried expression on his face as he watched you fidget with your hands.

He excused himself softly and walked up to them.

—Hey, why don't you come with me for a second? I need your help with something— Chilchuck pointed to the door, and your feet hurried to stand up and get out of the room as quickly as possible. Once outside that room, and away from the hearing range of the others, he sat against the wall, patting the space beside him.— What's got you so jumpy?— he looks at you, genuine curiosity in his voice.

Looking at him, you wonder if it's okay to admit out loud how anxious you were about, not just talking to people, but almost anything that had to do with being in public.— You're always behind us when we encounter other parties, and you don't seem to want to be there. I'm starting to think you're not just "shy"— Chilchuck called you out.

Beginning to explain to him how you were always on edge around people wasn't the easiest task. Admitting that, you were afraid of not being seen as capable, but being seen as a bother or even a burden ate you up every second of your life to Chilchuck was hard but worth it, because now you had someone that understood you better than any of the rest of the group. Everyone gets a little anxious at times, but you were a little extra anxious about everything.

Sitting cross-legged and now intently staring at you as you finished your through explanation of how you felt almost all the time, Chilchuck sighed and placed a comforting hand over your shoulder.— I'm really sorry you have to feel like that. I get anxious for five minutes and I hate it, so you being on edge all the damn time must suck— he offered a sympathetic apology, understanding you easily.— Whenever you feel like that, just... uh– try and tell me, or nudge me, whatever works best for you— he smiles softly, and the look on your face makes him huff softly in embarrassment and look away, retrieving his hand from your shoulder. When you give a soft laugh at his reaction he starts protesting and huffing at you, although we all know he wasn't seriously that upset.

When you hug him, however, he falls silent and sighs, taking a moment to return your embrace.

From then on Chilchuck tries his best to comfort you and help you everytime he notices you feeling anxious.

You need to buy something but can't because you're afraid of taking too long and upsetting the line behind you? He'll go with you and hold your hand. Maybe you're afraid of the guy at the stall, selling whatever it is you want to buy. Don't worry, he'll talk for you when you get nervous and start to stutter. Or even if you don't even want to talk at all.

Afraid someone is judging you? He's jokingly rolling his sleeves up and asking "Who? Who is it? Point at them and they'll never see what got them!" (They won't but that's because he's small and he kicks their knee from behind)

If you feel like everyone is judging you, though, he holds your hand and guides you away into a corridor/hallway where it's less crowded

Ever start hyperventilating? The first time he'll panic, and he'll struggle to find the words and actions to properly help you calm down. But it doesn't take him long before he has it memorized.

You're basically the only one on the group who's got Chikchuck breaking his rules about innerparty relationships, because he's grown very close and attached to you.

You're such an amazing person, you shouldn't have to struggle like this.

He gets very happy for you when you manage to do something that makes you anxious on your own. Maybe you spoke up to a whole group of people completely alone, or maybe you went and bought something that you really wanted without struggling at all.

When that happens he's sure to give you a smile and a thumbs up or a pat on your leg (you're taller than him, don't tease him about it or he'll get all red in the face and start mumbling to himself)

Overall, Chilchuck would understand you and try to help. He struggles, and sometimes you might think you're being a bother for him, but he makes sure to tell you that "no, you're not a burden nor a bother. I'm simply... not used to comforting people that often."

+ romantic established relationship headcannons

If you tell him that having him by your side is comforting, even in the slightest, he'll cough and look away, hiding his growing embarrassment.

If you ask to borrow something of his to comfort you, he's scrambling all over his words but eventually giving said item to you gladly.

You hide your face in his scarf after wrapping it around your neck and softly inhale his scent— Ah... you smell so nice. And the scarf is so warm— so is his face. A beautiful tomato red all over his cheeks and ears as he looks at you, genuinely feeling better just by borrowing his scarf.

Or maybe you borrow his gloves (if they fit) and put them on.— Okay... but why my gloves?— he asks curiously, waiting an eyebrow as he looks up at you.

You smile, wiggling your fingers after putting the gloves on— Makes me feel like I'm holding your hand— he falls silent, and he opens his mouth to speak, but the only thing that comes out is a flustered exhale as he turns around and walks away from you as he mumbles a "you're unbelievably.... cute" that you're sure he didn't mean for you to hear.

A few minutes later he'll return by your side as you're walking and extend his hand up, looking ahead— You can just hold my damn hand, you know?— he mumbles, and you notice how his cheeks tint with red once again.

[starrailstories]

Could you write a Sampo x reader where the reader is the complete opposite of him? Cold, stoic, stern, serious, but somehow he manages to get them to laugh?

of course! sorry for the huge delay, the last while has been... hectic. i'm happy to get back to writing though! especially since 2.1 had been so fun

Sampo Koski x gn!Reader Headcanons — Polar Opposites

Sampo Koski is nothing but optimistic. In a way, his entire existence here, on Yarilo-VI, hinges on this optimism; to spread the will of Elation in a world so devoid of joy and laughter is impossible if you don't believe in what you are preaching. No, he makes friends, he helps around, acts the good fella act, and if there are some pranks to be pulled, he pulls them, too, because really, everyone here could benefit from loosening up a little.

Listen to THEM, for THEY are everywhere — unlike the Amber Lord, so distant and stone-faced and boring — THEY are to be found in laughter.

You, too, he thinks; too upright and cold for your own good. He usually keeps a good distance from people like that (Preservation, but of the self — getting into trouble here would be a hassle, albeit insignificant in nature), but then again, daring is the name of the game for followers of Aha, and it's curious, after all, what would get you to spare him something more than an annoyed glance.

Nicknames, nicknames, nicknames! Sampo does know your name — he just doesn't use it. He starts by buddying up, "my friend" and all, and eventually slips into pet name territory, effortlessly so. "My dear Summershade", he says. Of course it's not a regular flower. Perhaps it's more fun that way.

Sampo is dramatic to a fault, and he makes sure to show for it. Every harsh word and every rejection from you, and he rolls his eyes, presses his hand to his forehead, "You wound me, Y/N, you positively wound me!" He never sounds truly wounded, and that's what makes you giggle — a gesture you immediately subdue.

He is constantly around, attached to your hip. Of course, he backs off when you demand it, but it's never for long — blink and he's already draping over your shoulder. And Aeons, he's heavy. And you're ticklish.

Harmless pranks are the name of the game. You wake up and every photo in your house is replaced by a recreation of said photo with Sampo as the subject? Check! Sugar where salt should be? "My dear friend, I wish to bring nothing but sweetness into your life!" ...Wait, how did he change all contacts in your phone into Wallace Limestein?

And it's never really anything serious. Sure, the automatons have eyebrows drawn on them, and your breakfast is not a fried egg, but an imitation made from a peach and some yogurt, and there's a whoopee cushion on your chair, as always. But it's stability, in a way. A middle ground between his chaotic nature and your serious demeanor.

Perhaps you should grace his recent invitation to the Golden Theatre with an approval. If only to see his surprised expression.

[tin-wufborf]

Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics (Part 7)

Howdy! Welcome to part 7! I'm happy you're here! Thank you all again for showing this series the love and support you all have. I appreciate you all so much, and I hope you're all finding new favorites to add to your own collections.

Apologies for the delay in getting this part to you. To be honest, it's just been too fucking hot for me lately, so I've been spending less time at my computer and more time splayed out, letting the wind blow upon me. I'm a spicy bitch on an average day, but it's been 100+ degrees here on average for the past week and a half with the heat is showing no signs of going away anytime soon. So there may end up being bigger gaps between updates (like the one you just experienced) than I maintained previously. Fair warning.

Okay, that's all from me today. Let's get into, lovelies!

Smoochies and squeezies!

List and link to previous/next part(s) below the cut.

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DISCLAIMER: This is me warning you all that some of the fics I've included in this list may cover explicit, dark, and/or "taboo" subject matters. I cannot express enough how little I care what anyone thinks about any of that; all I want is for you to use caution when reading anything I've listed here and to please review and heed whatever tags the authors have provided in order to keep yourselves safe. Your experience from this point on is your own responsibility, not mine and not the authors'.

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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20

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and the questions of heaven, for a sinner like me by doxa (G | 1/1 | 1,346)

“I'm Loki, son of Laufey,” Stiles chants. “And I'm going to burn down the world.”

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many beacons in the sea by orphan_account (T | 1/1 | 1,479)

Stiles has known all his life that he’s not like other kids. He’s special.

“It’s alright, love,” his mom says, leaning over him at night when he can’t sleep because his legs hurt so bad. “Just let it hurt.”

She kisses his forehead. He dreams of the sea. They go to the beach that weekend.

*

Stiles is a siren. He’s an anomaly, until he isn’t.

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Now when we're old by orphan_account (NR | 1/1 | 2,431)

Stiles' skin was soft, the years passing making it worn and thin; his bones brittle and fragile. He was still the man they all knew, but older. Derek's hair was grey and white now, his beard more straggle than stubble. His whole life could be read on his face, almost like a map, outlining his joys and tears.

We all know how their lives together began, but how did it end.

Believe it or not the ending is kinda happy.

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the secrets in our blood by orphan_account (T | 1/1 | 5,433)

//He’d never meant for it to go this far.

He really, honest to god hadn't. Like, okay, it's not like he'd expected a long life, but he'd at least hoped he'd have gotten the hell away from Beacon Hills before they found him.//

or, the one where Stiles is a demon and the same hunters who killed his mother (also a demon) find him.

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Wolf Cub by moodwriter (E | 1/1 | 6,946)

A strange wolf is not supposed to touch another pack’s cub and that’s why, on a rescue mission, it’s Stiles’ job to take care of the wolf cub who’s curious about everything and everyone. Stiles is not used to werewolf children, and the pack is not used to Stiles taking care of a child. Their Alpha gets very confused about this, too.

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The Dark Spark by Reia (E | 1/1 | 7,014)

He knows that Stiles is speaking to his wolf, to that animal inside that thrums with the need to maim and kill and take, take, take and he really shouldn't allow it, he shouldn't.

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but couldn't good be good enough by lazulisong (G | 1/1 | 8,044)

"His dad is probably going to tell Stiles not to hang out with us," says Boyd, taking a sip of his Coke.

Isaac gives Derek an utterly betrayed look, and Erica glares at him. "I told you not to wear those sunglasses!" she hisses.

"What if Stiles can't hang out with us any more?" says Isaac wretchedly. "What if Scott doesn't want to hang out with us because --"

"I said those were pedophile sunglasses!" says Erica, in a quiet, piercing whisper that makes Derek's ears hurt.

Boyd continues eating his gyro, which he has laid out on a plate like a salad on a piece of flatbread, methodically picking out the tomatoes, feta and lamb and laying them to the side to eat after the lettuce. Boyd would eat his gyro if there was a bomb going off.

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The House in the Middle by afullrevolution (2 works | G-T | 8,569)

1. Battle not with monsters (T | 3/3 | 7,590) Stiles laughed. Laughed because he understood what Nietzsche had been writing about. Because hunters were clearly monsters for all they claimed to battle them. Because Stiles had looked into the abyss and the abyss was staring straight back. 2. To Grandmother's House We Go (G | 1/1 | 979) There were always going to be repercussions for everyone involved, and then some.

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Hell to Raise by Mosca (E | 1/1 | 12,543)

Stiles is the last in a long line of pagan priests. Of course, the god in question is a sarcastic trickster who mostly just wants him to get laid. Of course.

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No Oceans Left by zoemathemata (T | 1/1 | 14,207)

Stiles has always been a merman. He just never knew how to tell anyone. He hasn’t shifted since his mom died.

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Hand of the Devil by shiny_starlight (M | 1/1 | 14,669)

For years, Hale and his family had escaped justice, but the day of reckoning had come. His comfortable life was about to come crashing down about his ears and Adrian was going to relish every single second of it.

Mob!AU. Derek is the head of the Hale Family, and Detective Adrian Harris is determined to bring him to justice, whatever means necessary.

Warning: Contains past!non-cannonical character death and non graphic description of injuries. Contains cannon character death.

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Do What I Dare series by FunkyinFishnet (3 works | T-M | 15,532)

Stiles has always known he prefers to wear women's clothing. He learns that the people who matter want him to be happy too.

1. Make No Conditions (M | 1/1 | 8,557) Stiles has always known that he prefers wearing female clothing, but not many people in his life know. He makes friends with drag queens, goes shopping with Lydia and Allison, and tries to work out if and when he can ever tell Derek about his wardrobe. Will Derek want all of him? Of course, it turns out that Lydia is right all along, about everything. 2. Get A Little Outta Line (M | 1/1 | 4,444) Stiles talks down a rival pack's Alpha, tells his Dad about werewolves, is confronted by Chris Argent, and communicates enjoyably without words with Derek. It's pretty awesome altogether. 3. Scent Of A Woman And A Man (T | 1/1 | 2,531) Stiles and his Mom love perfume. Stiles carries that love into his teenage years and once he and Derek become close, he finds he's not the only one obsessed with scents.

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Actual Puppy Derek Hale by Wrennefer (Wrenegadeone) (T | 1/1 | 18,162)

Derek didn't know what was worse: the hunters, being trapped as a wolf, being hit by a car, or the fact that he had somehow become some kid's pet dog for the unforeseeable future.

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Der Yingl fun Erd un Blitz (The Boy of Earth and Lightning) by sofonisba_found (T | 3/3 | 18,741)

Miriam and John Stilinski had always wanted to have children. But when her illness prevented her from giving birth, and every conventional alternative option to raise a child was denied to them, they had to look for an...unconventional method. One that would give them a child that was himself far from ordinary in so many ways.

And soon after, in the town of Beacon Hills, a young werewolf named Derek begins to notice the scent of something different from anything he had ever known before in the air...

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Certain and Unsure series by dedougal (2 works | M-E | 20,475)

1. Make It Up As We Go Along (E | 1/1 | 11,388) Stiles was not expecting to find a baby on the kitchen table at Derek's. Not at all. 2. Left to Trust (M | 1/1 | 9,087)

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With The Hush of My Lips, I Wholly Confound The Skeptic by Unknown (M | 6/6 | 27,249)

My contribution to the Teen Wolf Big!Big:

It’s honestly his dad’s worst nightmare.

And it’s not like the doctors never told them that it could be hereditary, what his mother died of. They had. It’s just, after such a tragic thing like her dying had happened, they hadn’t thought anything could ever be worse.

Until they had found that stupid abnormality in Stiles’ stomach.

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The Importance of Turning Around Three Times Before Lying Down by otter (T | 10/10 | 30,493)

It’s like this dog has walked out of all of Stiles’ childhood dreams and into the real world just because Stiles wanted it hard enough. He is the most awesome dog ever, and he and Stiles have a bond. A deep, unbreakable bond because this animal is his soul mate, obviously. Now he just has to convince the dog of that.

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Of Love and Fairness series by JTHM_Michi (4 works | G-T | 38,833)

Life isn't fair and sometimes when people mean well they react without knowing all the facts. Families are a deep cavern of secrets and lies and the Stilinski family isn't different than any other. When the Alpha Pack came to Beacon Hills, they brought death with them and in the fallout, Stiles was kicked out and his father got a new child and a new wife. This is a story about life and family and all the hard things from both. Alls fair in love and war?

1. We Meet Again (T | 1/1 | 16,320) When Stiles was 17, the Sheriff kicked him out because the Alpha Pack was getting to be too dangerous for the newest additions to the Stilinski household. Now, eleven years later, Stiles is about to come face to face with his once kid step-sister and be forced to deal with this fact. Is it possible to forgive and forget? 2. But With A Whimper (G | 1/1 | 6,704) Rebecca Stilinski learns to deal with the reveal that her father simply isn't the person she grew up thinking he was. And how is it possibly fair that Stiles can have this wonderful life and his father still condemns him as some sort of shady character from a crime drama? The sequel to 'We Meet Again'. 3. Magic Musings (G | 1/1 | 6,274) Lydia has made for herself a perfect life. She has a degree from MIT, has won a Fields Metal, has gotten married to Jackson, and has a career where people call her ‘Dr. Martin’ with complete sincerity. She has a large extended family of friends and is a godmother to her best friend’s daughter and has two little boys who call her ‘Auntie’. Her life is perfect – sure, she and Jackson go through rough patches and sometimes her bills stress her out – but overall she has a good life. She never thought her wonderful life would involve Stiles as her quasi brother with Scott as their goofy younger brother (never mind that Lydia is actually the youngest) but life is strange that way. 4. Look The Other Way (G | 5/5 | 9,535) The small snippets from my "Of Love and Fairness" verse, including but not limited to: The original confrontation between Stiles and his father over the Sheriff's abandonment of Stiles in the past; A small glimpse of Derek and Stiles' wedding; and a meeting between Lydia and the Sheriff. And really anything else from this verse that I wrote that didn't make it into any of the bigger pieces. It would be better to read the other parts of this verse before this one.

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Dirty paws and furry coats by queerly_it_is (E | 1/1 | 57,621)

Stiles is eight years old when his dad brings Derek home.

[AU based on Disney's The Fox and the Hound]

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Indelible Marks by billtheradish (M | 87/87 | 275,695)

The house never burned. The pack is strong. Derek will never need to be the alpha, and his sister is a troll. (Actually, most of his family is like that.)

Derek is an apprentice tattoo artist, and Stiles isn't old enough to get ink of his own yet. But that doesn't stop him from being interesting...

(This story is now out of buffer, but I will always announce when the next update will be, and am trying to keep to a regular posting schedule. Also, please be advised that this is essentially a rough draft. That doesn't mean it's riddled with typos, every chapter is edited, just that the overarching plot and side stories haven't had a chance to be edited in full yet--but they will be. An edited version of this story will be posted eventually, so if the current length isn't your cup of tea, just come back later.)

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[whoresforhorror]

media literacy (and why it's so hard to be a horror fan in 2024)

a lot of my friends are really into Mouthwashing right now and when I asked if I'd like it, a few people immediately told me there's really heavy themes of rape and that might be upsetting for me. But then I found out there was cannibalism which is a surefire way to get me into a piece of media and that made me consider getting into it again. Ultimately after reading a plot summary I decided not to play Mouthwashing, and it's weird to be waxing so much meta about a game I haven't played and don't plan to, but in having the conversation I thought a little bit more about that difference. How it's weird that I'm willing to consume a piece of media if people eat human flesh in it, but get so uncomfortable with rape due to personal boundaries and like

Is cannibalism worse than rape? isn't it kind of the same thing? What's the difference between consuming someone's body for sustenance and using someone's body for pleasure? And with media, is it possible to use something terrible for good purposes? To me the answer to the last question is obviously yes; I'm strongly of the opinion that there's no subject too dark to discuss in a story. But most people could agree that there's a "right" and "Wrong" way to tell a story. If you make a movie that lingers on long unnecessary shots of women's bodies, that's probably navel-gazey and weird, and viewers may rightfully side-eye you a little bit. But if you make a movie about the exploitation of women's bodies - say something like the X trilogy where most characters are pornstars - it becomes almost necessary to have boobs and butts left and right or else your story won't be realistic.

It's weird to live in a time of more dark media than ever, contrasted with less media literacy than ever. Horror and dark litfic are extremely popular genres, but a lot of their audience seems unwilling to engage with those genres past a surface level analysis of "thing bad"/"thing problematic" or "you can write about thing, but not like that." If you write about a Bad Thing, you have to make sure that the text explicitly condemns it. If you have a point of view character who wouldn't condemn it, you need to make sure that character dies at the end so that the audience comes away from your story with the proper moral lesson. All fairy tales need to have a moral at the end; all horror stories need to as well, or at least, that's what fandom would have you believe.

But where do we draw the line, right? Is it okay to talk about cannibalism because that's not something that really happens in the modern world (assuming you're a sheltered westerner that is), but not okay to talk about rape because that's still something that happens everywhere to the point that almost everyone knows a rape survivor? Is it okay for someone who has never experienced rape and/or SA to write about it? Do we need to necessitate pain as a prerequisite to examine it's aftermath? have my meds kicked back in yet or should I up my dosage again?

And asking again because I'm curious what people think: is cannibalism worse than rape?

[carlyraejepsans]

speaking of dr, there's something that really annoys me about how shallow the ship discourse around kr4lsei is. I'm not sure I'm 100% behind this for the same reasons i doubt toby will go full in with noelle's mom being abusive, ie "those are very delicate and complex topics to handle, does he have the time and space to deal with them in deltarune's story?" so take this with a grain of salt.

(warning for brief mention of incest, so I'm putting this under a readmore)

i think the discourse being framed as "thinking ralsei is presented as a romantic interest" vs "thinking ralsei is compared to kris' brother or like a family member" is incredibly stupid because those are... both true at the same time. yes, there's an unskippable "tunnel of love" scene, and it looks like ralsei could have somewhat of a crush on kris. but ralsei still 1) looks just like a dreemurr, 2) clearly plays, as a character, on our feelings and memories of asriel from playing undertale, as evident by their designs and their names being anagrams 3) i am 99% sure Noelle was going to say "that kinda looks like asriel" while looking at him eating cotton candy with Susie, and Susie herself suggests telling toriel he's "a long lost cousin". either way, if ralsei is meant to play on our feelings towards asriel, then as asriel's sibling, kris is likely gonna feel similarly.

are you uncomfortable? good! you should be. that's the point.

it's not random that the snowgrave route was framed and portrayed with the imagery of a wedding. first the freezering, then the thorn ring are explicitly compared to wedding rings. "we're just friends"/"we're something else". "YOU'VE BEEN MAKING [hyperlink blocked (...LoVE?)], HAVEN'T YOU?" noelle with whom kris had a strained relationship, whose feelings (platonic? romantic? we don't know) we brute force in what is the most chilling, manipulative, cruel iteration of chapter 2's story we could take... it's almost as if deltarune uses kris being forced into romantically coded situations they're deeply uncomfortable with as a way to showcase their lack of agency in the story.

and being pushed into romcom-like situations with a guy who looks like their brother works pretty darn well to follow that pattern, if you ask me.

now, if a forced romance with noelle represents their lack of agency in regards to the player, then... a forced romance with ralsei could represent their lack of agency towards Fate. The Plot/Story. unskippable cutscene, remember? not to mention ralsei's whole purposepilled shtick he clearly has a complex about.

this does raise a couple of questions about susie though, as the third option in the "who would you take to the fair with you" question, the one option kris seems to agree with, as well as being a character who is actively resisting the narrative.

because there's people who are very much FOR krusie, just as there are people against it, i doubt their getting or not getting together would work to represent kris gaining their agency back. and i believe i speak for everyone when i say that susie is going to play a huge part in that arc. either way, i'm curious to see how this develops.

idk! like i said, I'm not sure just how much toby is gonna go into this because it IS a very delicate subject. but it's an example of what i mean when i say "there's more to fandom than shipping" and "fixating so hard on Shipping Good Things" can be detrimental to analysis. I'm not cancelling anyone with this post, go on doing your thing whether it's kr4lsei or r4lsusie or krus1e. but if your first thought going into this was "I'm gonna ignore the part where the game compares ralsei to asriel because that would make my ship incest and that is Bad and uncomfortable" then... that's a very cheap way to interact with media? lol. sometimes being uncomfortable IS the point. god knows utdr makes you uncomfortable on purpose sometimes. ok rant over :P

[libraryspectre]

I wanted to talk about the Black Parade uniforms and it kind of turned into an entire essay. My ideas on the intention behind each costume and their cohesion as a group really evolved over the course of writing this, and I think it brought into focus a lot of things I knew subconsciously but hadn't articulated. I also noticed a lot of details I had never seen before. This has futher convinced me that 1) costume design and what you can say with it is really fascinating and 2) this is S-tier costume design of all time. And it's really long so I'm putting the rest under the cut.

What I would have loved is a Weezer-style picture of the five of them standing side by side, full bodies visible, but unfortunately that doesn't seem to exist. They're either covering each other up, or posed in such a way that details aren't visible or cut is hard to compare, so I'll have to provide a variety of visuals. This weirdly blurry poster is the closest thing I could find to a Weezer picture, so take them in as a group and refer back as necessary. I want to start by saying, obviously, that they look amazing both individually and as a set. "Dark marching band of death" is a really fun concept that is very well executed. But this isn't their first time doing a look as a group - think back to Revenge for a minute, when they really started to think about their costuming as a band. Gerard has talked about how then, they were kind of closing ranks against the vitriol coming their way. They needed to feel like a team, a gang, and dressed like one. I think some of this mentality has carried over into the Black Parade uniforms - they're less defensive, (there's no bulletproof vests), but in taking on new, nameless identities they have removed themselves as individuals from the equation, which is protective in its own way. What's left are stage personas, and the more you look the more you see that these were designed by someone who is very familiar with the history of the band and how each member presents themselves on stage. It's absolutely genius costume design, because when everyone is in uniform, the little differences are more noticable and tell you so much about the intention behind each variation.

Before we really start, I have to confess that I have no history in costuming or even a lot of familiarity with marching or military bands. I can only say I find costuming interesting, so I've read a little about it, and I went to high school in America and almost all my friends were in marching band. Someone who is more educated in these things could probably give more specific insights and have a better vocabulary to talk about it, but do not underestimate me. I am deeply obsessed with MCR and got A's in English, so let's find some meaning in symbolism! But please remember that with all art, there is no one interpretation. And remember going forward that these costumes were designed by Colleen Atwood, based on sketches she was given by Gerard, so there's no telling what elements were brought in by her and what elements Gerard had planned originally. If anyone has sources on that, PLEASE let me know because I'm very curious about the design process.

Also, I'll be using the uniforms as they appear in the WTTBP video as the standard, with acknowledgements toward variations seen in posters and the FLW video. It's worth noting that in many live performances they wore different, less unique jackets, and often forewent the pants for black jeans. This is almost certainly because they were easier to perform in and they didn't want to subject the originals to the sweat and rowdiness of regular shows. Ok, here we go! Here are some pics to refer back to throughout.

Starting with the band as a whole, I want to point out two things: first, marching bands evolved from military bands. The individual costumes vary in how "military" they look, but you can definitely see the influence when you look at them as a set. I imagine they leaned into that a bit because of the military elements on the record - the suggestion in Mama that the patient was a soldier, maybe even a war criminal. We also know they've done military aesthetics before, in The Ghost of You music video, and that the band was formed in response to 9/11. Suffice to say, the military is on the mind, and this is a continuation of that.

They also look a bit like skeletons. Obviously they would occasionally do the face paint, but the uniforms themselves suggest a ribcage with the horizontal silver lines, and at some angles the stripes on the pants also really contribute to the image. I know most people have already realized this, but I wanted to point it out explicitly because it took me an embarassingly long time to see it.

Alright, I'm gonna talk about them individually now, going from my personal least to most favorite. Taste aside, they're all individually really interesting.

5. Bob

(I can't find another good Bob picture, just scroll up to the blurry one)

It's not just because I don't like Bob, I genuinely like this one much less than all the others. It might be because it's less tailored - the others look much sharper, he looks almost rumpled in comparison. The lose fit might be because as a drummer, he needed better range of movement, but I'm not a drummer so I don't know. The cut of his jacket looks kind of naval to me, which is interesting. His stripes are also very minimal compared to the others. Overall, his looks the least like it's part of a set. I don't necessarily think they meant to set him apart, but maybe they did, considering he's the only non-original member (I'm counting Frank as an original member) and the only one not from New Jersey (which, I only point out because they ALWAYS point that out to people who mention they're a Jersey band. We're from Jersey, Bob is from Chicago.) Maybe it was a subconscious thing, or maybe as the drummer his costume was designed to make the most of what would be visible sitting and partially obscured by the drum kit. It does have a very dramatic collar. That's probably also part of the reason they gave him a more distinctive haircut for this - I'm not gonna talk about hair much, but it's worth mentioning. Overall, I don't have a ton to say about Bob because I don't think of him much (sorry, but not really).

4. Frank

Frank's is really interesting. His is the least traditional-looking, which is why it's here in the ranking, but I like it and I think there's a good reason for that. Those stripes on the sleeve are a really strong look, and the material of the silver has kind of a tarnished/dappled look you can see better in other photos. I've seen people say it's a subtle camo pattern, but I'm honestly not sure - I think he's supposed to look a little less new and shiny. The blockiness of it widens him and gives him a lot of presence that might be lost if he was dressed more like the others, and it compliments his performance style well. That's particularly important in the WTTBP video - on that float, he simply doesn't have room to be as wild and energetic as his standard performance was at the time, so this uniform helps him stand out and draw attention to what thrashing he is able to do. As far as bucking tradition, he also is the only one without shoulder tabs (those little loops). There's something funny about that - those tabs are meant to hold loops and eupalletes that would signify rank, placement, or achievement, which apparently you could not give to Frank if you tried. I think this lack of traditionality is reflective of Frank's more punk sensibilities, having come up in the Jersey scene. His playing style evolved over time as he and Ray influenced each other, but at the start he was very much their punk guitarist and coming up in that scene continued to influence how he conducted himself as a musician. I think this uniform marks him as a non-conformist even within the group.

He also has that patch with a red cross on the sleeve, the only bit of color on any of them. I don't know what to make of that, maybe it's just for the Catholic vibes.

Honestly, Frank's feels the most like what people would expect from an "emo" marching band uniform. Especially considering the poster, where he's found a hole to stick his thumb through. I don't think he's wearing it in the video, but in that poster he has this belt with some kind of weapon?? Maybe?? We get it, he's a dangerous little man.

3. Mikey

Mikey's uniform is by far the most military - it's not just the medal, it's also the cut of the jacket. And he's the only one with a fun little belt, which helps keep the silhouette look nice and tailored even though the jacket flares a little at the waist. We all know the medal is a reference to his death in The Ghost of You video (there's no way they didn't know we would make that connection) and it wouldn't surprise me if the rest of his uniform looks more military because it was built around that idea. But also consider Mikey's stage presence at the time - due to his discomfort on stage, he used to be really stoic, standing in the back, getting the job done with little showmanship. I think that presentation lends itself well to a classic military figure. Mikey is also pretty thin, and the long jacket and it's strong, solid construction keeps him from looking too Victorian-orphan waifish (especially with how pale they all are), and more like a dead soldier boy.

Additionally, Mikey's costume leaning so hard into the military side helps them look more military as a group. It keeps the association in your mind when you look at the others. Also, he's wearing a little necklace here, which I've never noticed before, is he wearing that in the videos?? I think it's an anchor, which is fun considering he died on a beach.

2. Gerard

Yes, Gerard's is #2 in my ranking. I'm sorry, I might have a slight bias knocking it down from #1. But maybe not, let me defend myself when I get there. Anyway, Gerard's is the most classically marching band, which makes sense considering he's the frontperson. In fact, he has one of those braided loops on his shoulder we talked about earlier, demonstrating.....something, it seems to vary a lot, but we're probably meant to think leadership. He's not wearing it the WTTBP video, but it's there in Famous Last Words. He also has that fancy little star thing on the shoulder, which definitely seems to suggest rank. Otherwise, his uniform is very basic. He's the template that the others' uniforms are variations of. And it's a great look! He's also got nice big buttons compared to the others, three whole rows of them, which is a nice touch to make it look a liiiiittle more feminine. Because, of course, the back of the jacket is corseted, in a genious stroke of gender that puts the entire outfit in a new context. I think this is a good example of how Gerard likes to play with androgony by balancing masc and femme elements. The cut of his jacket makes his shoulders look wide and his waist narrow, but not so narrow it looks terribly feminine (just a little, taken on its own). A lot of this is achieved by the piping - notice how on Bob, Mikey, and Frank, the top row of piping (I might be using that word wrong but let's go with it. I'm talking about the silver stuff across the chest) is pretty much the same length as the bottom row? On Gerard, they start out wide way up on his shoulders and get progressively narrower at the waist. It's still a mostly masculine silhouette, but then you have the counter balance of the big buttons and his little white pixie cut, both of which lean just a little further toward femme than masc. It's an androgynous look that leans toward masc as a whole, until he turns around and, boom, corseted back. Showstopping. He also had those black leather gloves that give some nice formality, and maybe a touch of impersonality. They make it so that when he's in full uniform, the only skin you can see is that of his face. They're like an edgier version of the usual plain white marching band gloves.

1. Ray

Going purely by aesthetics, Ray's is my favorite. It's the fancy one, most obviously distinct by the flourishes around the buttons on his jacket. He Mikey are the only ones with pure silver shoulder loops, and Ray has more silver piping on his jacket than the others. In some pictures he's wearing this really ornate knotted tassle thing? You can see it in one of the group pictures above. He isn't wearing it in any of the videos, which makes sense as it could be really annoying while playing. The cut of his jacket at the bottom also looks formal to me, but I'm not sure why. Overall, the ornanamentation could be a reflection of his playing style - the same caveat here applies to Frank, in that they influenced each other through their parnership as guitarists, (and Ray has a lot of influences from different genres), but at the start he was their metal guitarist, and the guitars in metal are often complicated and showy. And he's their soloist, they need to show him off a little.

Additionally, the construction here is giving him an absolutely wild silohette. Like Gerard, the piping on his jacket gets progressively narrower to suggest a smaller waist, but without the really long stripes at the top to make the shoulders look broader. Those vertical lines across the front add to the effect because they're curved inward - which is interesting, because everyone else's uniforms are composed of entirely straight lines and sharp angles. And his jacket is cut REALLY high on the side. I can't tell if Ray's pants are more high-waisted than the others, or if it just looks that way because of the cut of the jacket. You see the stripe of the pants go all the way up his hip, and since he's already tall with long legs, it really accentuates that. It's hard to tell, but I think his pants are even a little more form-fitting than the others. The other day I saw people commenting on a gif of Ray in the WTTBP video about how they never noticed how long his legs are - this is why!

We talk about how part of what makes Ray such a compelling performer is how he moves, and I think this costume was designed to compliment fluid motion. The tailoring and curves of the piping avoid making him look too rigid or blocky, as a marching band uniform could easily do, and the high cut of the jacket lets the line of his legs continue uninterrupted. Honestly, this is a favorite look for Raygirls (gender neutral) for a reason - I think they knew exactly what they were doing putting him in a pretty, well-tailored uniform that accentuates his movement. (Caveat here that I'm a Raygirl (gn) so I'm definitely biased, and they all look great in their uniforms, but I do think Ray's is.....uniquely flattering, and I don't think it was an accident).

Conclusions

So now that we've talked about all of them, I think we have some interesting contrasts to make. Gerard and Mikey both have very classic looks, but Gerard's is more marching band and Mikey's is more military. Mikey and Bob both have very military looks, but Mikey's has a much more solid construction. Gerard and Ray are both on the marching band side of the spectrum, but Gerard's is classic while Ray's is ornate. My favorite contrast is between the guitarists - Frank's is blocky and rigid and tarnished, Ray's is curved and fluid and shiny.

The interplay between similarity and contrast is what makes this so compelling as a group costume - just by looking you can tell who's the leader, who's the tragic figure, who's the outcast, who's the rebel, who's being spotlit.

In closing, thank you Colleen Atwood and Gerard Way for designing these and the rest of the band for wearing them, I will never get tired of looking at them.

[chock-and-bates]

hello hello i just finished reading your break-up sex fic and it's killing me not knowing what happens next because it's so obvious that they love each other so much but they don't know how to communicate well so could you please please tell me what will happen to them 🙇🏻‍♀️😭

I've gotten a few messages about this and so I'll use this one to reply to all of them!

Thanks to everyone who read and liked my fic morning comes (and you're not my baby)! If you wanted to find out what happened after the open ending, you're in the right place. I'll always tell people to imagine the ending they want, but I also understand the need to just know, so I'm happy to tell you what I picture happening next.

Sooooo I was just going to have a brief summary of what I think happened and I'll include that in the TL;DR under the cut... but I also did what I always do and went a little crazy in my notes app and wrote a 1.7k outline/ficlet (with some 🌶️ so be aware).

Check it out if you're curious!

TL;DR: They have a friends with benefits thing going but keep it super vague. But they begin growing really close throughout the rest of the season, and the lines are getting blurrier and blurrier. When Max offers Charles a key to his apartment they finally have to confront what they mean to each other and they realize the pain of a possible break up is way, way preferable to the agony of being apart. They agree to try again, promise to fight for each other, and kiss ❤️

Ficlet/Outline Time: Okay here is what I picture happening in a much more in-depth way:

- The bad communication continues and they are basically fuck buddies for the rest of the season. But, like, way too tender fuck buddies if that makes sense. They fuck nasty, but most of the time it’s absolutley more like making love. Definitely messes with both their heads but they refuse to just talk because it’s still scary and they need to focus on the season.

- Definitely begin hooking up whenever they’re in Monaco, but they do their best to keep it to only once a week or so (thinking that limiting contact will help them, haha yeah right). They always sleep over, but Charles is proud of them for the fact that they’ve both managed to leave every time, even if it’s getting progressively longer each morning that they just stay in bed murmuring quietly and playing with the pets of whoever’s apartment they’re in. 

-They’re together at some point pretty much every race weekend from Mexico on, and for the final two races of the season Max starts to ask Charles to share a room with him for the whole weekend. He says it’s because he sleeps better when Charles is beside him (such a step forward in communication, we’re so proud of you Max) but Charles knows it’s also because he’s leaning on Charles for emotional support in the championship fight. They’ve been having a lot of pillow talk on that subject, and Max has been surprisingly open. Charles tells himself it’s okay because they’re friends with benefits, and you help your friend, so he agrees easily. 

-(He tries not to think about how they’re already communicating better, tries not to give himself hope that maybe they could get back together.)

- After the final race, they definitely spend the night together (please god, let it be celebration sex instead of sad sex, I beg) and Max refuses to let Charles leave his side the next day. They fly back together, holding hands almost the entire flight. They still aren’t talking about what they are.

-Of course this is when Charles starts to panic. And he says he’s going to put some more distance between them over the break. Briefly he thinks about ending it again, but like a sign from the universe, he gets a text from Max asking him to come over and he very quickly realizes he’s not strong enough to end it anytime soon because he’s already replying that he’s on his way and packing an overnight bag.

- Things get very domestic, very quickly over the break, and Charles and Leo begin to spend a lot of time at Max’s. They’re really reconnecting on every level now, not just physical, but they. Still. Won’t. Talk.  Charles is so torn because on one hand he’s so happy and content but every night he’s just an anxiety ridden mess because he feels like he’s setting himself up to be absolutely destroyed.

- The holidays come at the perfect time (or so he thought). Obviously they’re going to spend a lot of time apart to be with their families, but instead of this being a good thing Charles is absolutely miserable without his man, enough so that he starts texting Max, who immediately responds, making it obvious that he was feeling the exact same way. 

-Their daily check-ins of course evolve into texting each other at all hours of the day and then eventually phone calls at night, during which Charles ends up fully admitting “I miss you a lot.” much to his embarrassment, but Max immediately and eagerly says it back and takes it a step further and says they should go on vacation together before the end of the break. The spark of hope in Charles’ chest is absolutely brutal, but he still agrees.

- As soon as they are both back in Monaco they race to see each other again, they’re so desperate. Don’t end up leaving bed for the entire day. Things are said...

[- “Can’t stand being away from you,” Max whispers to him between kisses as Charles adjusts to having him inside, “Need you close to me, baby.”]

[- “You were all I thought about,” Charles gasps when Max begins to thrust into him, so gently, but staring at him so intensely, “Tried not to, but I could not help it. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think. God, Max-”]

- They’re kind of timid on the second day, almost shy around each other again after how intense they were yesterday, but Charles still doesn’t feel like he’s ready to leave Max quite yet (or ever bfr) so he offers to make him breakfast.

- While he’s in the kitchen Max comes up behind him and asks if he can give him something, it’s a key to his apartment. Max wants him to have it so he can stop by whenever he wants and he tentatively continues that he thinks it would be good if Charles moved some of his clothes in so he doesn’t have to leave all the time and Max can start to clear out the space in the closet-

- Charles cuts him off with a strangled “Max.” and they both just stare at one another in absolute stillness.

- Charles’ heart is pounding out of his chest, his flight or fight is kicking in, he’s so overwhelmed and the first thing he says is “I can’t do this anymore Max.” Poor Max looks utterly devastated because it sounds so bad, and even Charles doesn’t really know if he means he can’t do this as in be together at all or this as in be friends with benefits and not be together.

-He tries to leave the kitchen to run away from confronting all of this but-

- Thank god, Max snaps out of his and steps in front of him, blocking his path. He clenches his jaw, staring Charles down and asks him to explain.

-“Charles, you’re not leaving this apartment without explaining what you mean. Can we just- can we just be honest for once?”

- And that’s exactly what Charles has needed to hear for over a year, because suddenly the floodgates open and he’s practically shouting “I can’t do this anymore because I’m in love with you, Max. I love you so fucking much and it is the most awful things because we agreed that we cannot be together. But now you are going and-and saying we should go away on vacation and holding my hand and giving me a key. I cannot keep away from you but I can’t- I can’t-”

- Max, who had been listening, stunned as soon as Charles started shouting., suddenly crosses the kitchen and cups his face in his hands. Charles tries to flinch back but Max just follows him, cooing at him as he steps closer, until they’re practically pressed together,  “Charlie listen to me, listen to me. I’m in love with you too baby. I love you so fucking much, I never stopped, I swear. You’re all I want, all I think about, I can’t keep away from you either, baby, but we don’t have to, don’t you see?  We don’t have to keep pretending like this is…whatever the fuck we thought it was. I can’t fucking do that anymore, I want to be with you, all of you. We can try again.”

-Of course this sends Charles into shock, “But- we agreed it was for the best-”

- Max bites back, “I don’t care, Charlie. We were wrong, and I’m not going to sit back and let us be miserable just because we made a stupid decision.”

- Then they would finally have the long, long time coming talk about the real issue, and both would have to admit how fucking terrified they had been of giving the other person that power over them and how distraught they would be if it ended. But Max begs Charles to trust him not to hurt him, and Charles immediately assures Max that he does which is oh- kind of an eye opener for him. And Max tells Charles he trusts him too. 

- “Charlie, please,” Max just looks so heart-breakingly sincere it’s killing Charles, “Even if something crazy happens and this explodes in our faces, I would rather take the pain of it ending over what it was like without you. I’ll fight for us, every fucking day, if you will just give us another chance.”

- And Charles can’t take it anymore so he flings himself at Max, hugging him tight and burying his face in his neck, Max holds him back just as tightly, and they stand in the kitchen embracing and rocking together.

-”When we slept together in Mexico,” Charles finally draws back to look at him, “You said you would never let me go again.”

-Max nods, leaning down so their foreheads are pressed together, “I meant it.”

- “I’m never letting you go either Max,” Charles says, deadly serious, “I love you. Forever.”

- Max can’t stop himself from kissing him then, obviously. And once again they don’t really leave the bed for the rest of the day.

- Charles accepts the key, and then ends up pretty much moving in later that month because they can’t stand being apart. They manage to socialize their little fur babies together and they are a very adorable family.

- Their friends and families are thrilled for them because none of them really understood why they broke up in the first place since Max and Charles would just say it was a mutual decision and “for the best”. Everyone tells them how much happier they seem.

-Now that the ‘big issue’ has been acknowledged their communication improves tremendously, and, no, things aren’t perfect because that’s unrealistic for any couple let alone two men in F1, but they tackle the issues together and overall things are easy and loving between them.

- They definitely get married, don’t you worry ❤️

Ooof, that was fun! Thanks so much for reading and all the interest in seeing how these things ended. I’ll be back with more stories soon.

[nostalgebraist]

Here are some fun / amusing / potentially-interesting facts about the process of writing and plotting Almost Nowhere, if anyone's curious.

Major spoilers for the whole of Almost Nowhere under the cut.

(There's really no way to spoiler-censor this material without rendering it incomprehensible. If you haven't read the book, do that first before reading this post.)

(1)

A large fraction of the book's eventual plot emerged from my attempts to patch a single, in-some-sense trivial continuity error I made while writing the very first chapter.

The Mooncrash section of that chapter ends with this sentence (emphasis added):

All parties were used to stillness, now, for the Mooncrash was nearly four years old.

And a few paragraphs later, in the opening of the Academy section, we get this (emphasis added again):

For (as everyone knows) the Shroud is upon us and while it tolerates the Academy — as it presently is, as it has been for the last eight years, a chrysalis, preparing itself step by minuscule step [...]

So: The Mooncrash is 4 years old. The Academy crash is at least 8 years old, and indeed older.

Yet the Mooncrash is also as old as the crash system itself! It was made by humans, during the period between the discovery of the anomalings and the mass-crashing of the human race. (This is only shown in the second chapter, but I had it in mind before then.)

How long has the human race been crashed, then? At most 4 years, and at least 8 years? How could that possibly be?

It would have been easy enough to just edit the chapter, but that's not how I do things. Restrictions, famously, breed creativity. I enjoy attempting to solve puzzles I have inadvertently created for myself, and many of my best ideas have been produced through this process.

It would also have been simple and easy to merely say: "OK, I guess time elapses at different subjective rates, in different crashes."

Amusingly, I ended up doing that anyway! But for some reason, this avenue didn't occur to me at first. By the time I started asking myself whether to include this kind of effect, I already had a different solution in mind.

I spent a lot of time beating my head against the figurative wall, trying to resolve the 4-vs-8-year issue. The early parts of my AN notes are full of this stuff.

----

At some early point, I came up with the idea that the anomalings/shades would deal with troublesome crashes by "rebasing" them, rewriting their histories.

I didn't intend, initially, for this idea to take over the plot as much as it eventually did. It was just a fun idea that underscored the huge power differential between the anomalings and their captives, and felt in line with the Cartesian/Wachowskian themes of transcending a "fake"/illusory world, radically doubting one's own perceptions and memories, etc.

But, having stipulated that "rebases" were a thing, I hit upon the idea that they could be used to modify the total quantity of past (subjective) time inside a crash -- turning 8 years into 4, or vice versa, or whatever.

So, I could fix the problem by stipulating that one -- or both -- of the problematic crashes had already been rebased, in this way.

But why? And by whom?

----

Now, at this early stage, I also had the idea in mind that the character "Anne" would eventually escape from her crash, and that she would have a hand in various major events in the story -- including some events that had already occurred, relative to the "present" of the textual PoV.

But I didn't know, yet, what these interventions actually were.

(I put "Anne" in quotes, here, because in the very early stages I casually assumed that only the PoV Anne introduced in Chapter 1 would be a major character, and that her sisters were merely background material for her personal narrative, like the tower itself. Of course, in the process of thinking through the details of things, I realized that this assumption was needless and indeed counterproductive.)

As often happens when I'm plotting a story, I found that two unknowns slotted neatly into one another, each one providing a potential solution to the problem posed by the other.

We need something for "Anne" to do in the past. Something consequential, something that shows off her newfound agency -- but also something that obscures her role from view. Ideally, something kind of weird, esoteric, "advanced"; something that feels buried inside the deep, dark center of the backstory, which the reader will only "excavate" at the end of a long, strange journey.

And we need someone to rebase the Mooncrash.

That answers the "who?" question. But again -- why?

Well, it was already in the plan that Azad would join forces with Michael, when Michael went in search of his lost Anne. That Anne would meet Azad, as a result, and that it would be Azad who persuades her to return to Michael's crash.

I didn't, at the time, have much else planned for the Anne-Azad connection.

As originally conceived, the "Azad convinces Anne to return" scene was about Azad's uncertain loyalties, and about Anne's lack of exposure to other human beings (and to the power of words, as deployed by human beings with access to real human culture). That is, it merely served specific, separate purposes in the sub-stories of these two characters. There was no intent to set up, or develop, a thread connecting these sub-stories, making Azad a major character in Anne's arc and vice versa.

But that seems like kind of a shame, doesn't it? Why go to the trouble of preparing these characters, and bringing them into contact, if I didn't have anything for them to do together?

Anne and Azad.

We need someone to rebase the Mooncrash.

We need Anne to learn about real human culture, somehow, before she leaves. I knew that, already, though I didn't have a mechanism in mind.

(I also knew, by this point, that causing Azad's appointment as translator was another one of "Anne's" consequential moves. I had conceived of this, at first, as a relatively impersonal act, done only for its historical significance. Indeed, that would have been enough -- but the more the merrier, theme/motivation-wise.)

Problems paired up, interlocked, and became each others' solutions.

(1b)

As is obvious from the above, I didn't have the scenario planned out in very much detail when I wrote the first chapter.

At the time, the story had been gestating in my head for a while, but only as a bunch of vague inklings and intentions.

The proximate cause of writing-the-first-chapter was a sudden and unexpected burst of inspiration. I was riding the bus to a social event, and suddenly my mind was awash with crisp, never-before-glimpsed details about Anne and her tower, the Mooncrash, the Academy, Cordelia's blue dress -- all the stuff of Chapter 1. It felt like a crucial message was being beamed into my brain, VALIS-style, from the Muse / Higher Power.

I had an urge to bail on the social event, turn around, ride back home, and start writing immediately -- what if the magic went away, as suddenly as it had arrived? I resisted that urge and made a perfunctory appearance at the event, but then went back home and wrote as much as I could before falling asleep.

So, when I was writing that chapter, stuff like "four years" and "eight years" wasn't based on any single coherent picture, just vibes and vague inklings.

(I think 4 years probably sounded like the right amount of time for G&A to have been in the Mooncrash, character-wise. Meanwhile, Hector's ascension from the Academy had to be long enough ago that there would be no direct overlap between Hector and any of the current students. The "Bad Old Days" had to feel like something you'd only hear about in rumors, or from authority figures who probably weren't telling the full story.)

(2)

Like TNC before it, Almost Nowhere was originally conceived as relatively simple and straightforward story, only to become something much weirder and more complicated as I fleshed out the details.

As I said above, I only had a very vague "plan" at the outset of the writing process. But I kinda knew where I was going with it, in very broad strokes.

The original arc, insofar as it existed at all, was something like:

The bilateral / anomaling tension is introduced.

The bilateral PoV characters come to an understanding of their situation.

Many of the bilateral PoV characters join up with Hector Stein, who is already trying to defeat the anomalings and free humanity from the crashes.

Azad temporarily sides with the anomalings, and Anne temporarily returns to her captive state. But both them "come around" eventually.

Anne eventually triumphs over Michael, delivers a dramatic monologue castigating him for imprisoning her (etc.), and mounts a successful escape.

Shortly after Anne's escape, some (TBD!) resolution to the main conflict is achieved. Whatever it is, it is proposed/spearheaded by the bilateral faction (and specifically Anne herself), and it somehow exemplifies "the bilateral way of thinking/being."

The humbled anomalings conclude that "the bilateral way of thinking/being" has its advantages, both practically and morally.

So the story, as originally conceived, was much more straightforwardly about the "good" PoV humans fighting back against aliens.

It unabashedly took the bilateral side in the conflict, and it ended with a "beauty of our weapons" sort of moment in which the bilaterals are both victorious and righteous, and in which these two kinds of success are closely linked and almost merged.

I have to imagine that, even in counterfactual worlds where some things went differently, I never would have stuck to this version of the story all the way through.

Because, one way or the other, I would have eventually realized that.. like... this version of the story kind of sucks, right?

I mean, why go to the trouble of introducing these aliens, and trying to make them interesting, only to say "nah, actually these guys were just wrong, it's us and our existing 'ordinary' pre-conceptions that are right, and that's what the story was about all along"?

It would have been "inventing a guy to be mad at," as the saying goes.

Not a great foundation for a story. And the least interesting possible direction to go in, given this kind of setup.

It also presents a seemingly unresolvable tension, for the writer, about how to portray the distinctively "bilateral" nature of the bilateral side in the conflict.

If "bilateral" is as broad a category as the anomalings say it is -- if you and I and all of us, whatever other qualities we possess, participate equally in this sin -- then it's hard to strike a note of emotional triumph around the quality of "bilaterality" that doesn't feel wrong, vacuous, or bloodlessly abstract.

"Woo, yeah, humans are great!" I mean, are they? All of them? You don't get to say "well, only the good ones," here, or "in their ideals if not always their acts," or anything like that. Everyone is included in the relevant category, except for the guys-who-aren't that were invented for this specific story.

It's difficult to make this land properly, in the same way it would be difficult to write a story that inspires "carbon-based life pride" or "having-DNA pride" or the like in its reader.

So this version of the story was dead on arrival. And indeed, by the time I was thinking through the stuff chronicled in (1) above, this version of the story felt like a provisional placeholder, at best, in my mind.

Nonetheless, there are various echoes of it in the story I eventually landed on.

For example, in the original version of "Anne's" escape -- conceived in a much more straightforwardly positive way -- I had Anne reading "real" books in secret, drawing moral strength from them, and then including a bunch of literary quotes in her big dramatic monologue to Michael. (I took inspiration, here, from John the Savage reading Shakespeare in Brave New World.)

And I had the idea that "Anne," being an autodidact, would read omnivorously without making culture-bound distinctions familiar to you and me; that her selection of quotes, in the monologue, would put low culture alongside high culture, infamous books alongside famous ones, etc.; and as a particular case, that it'd be fun if -- before going on to quote Shakespeare and co. -- she began the whole thing by quoting Ayn Rand.

And that one idea stuck, even if the rest of it didn't.

(Or, consider how the idea of "a powerful move in the conflict that exemplifies the bilateral way of thinking/being" actually crops up multiple times in the finished story, right up to its last scenes. One can see traces of it in the "trick" that obsesses Michael, in the use of autobiographical writing to build up nostalgium, and in Annabel's improved crash design.)

(3)

I came up with the Mirzakhani Mechanism relatively late, in between writing Chapter 13 and writing Chapters 14-15 (in which the MM is introduced).

The MM was a product of looking back at the sci-fi elements that already existed in the story, like crashes and rebases, and trying to invent some single underlying explanation that covered all of them in a relatively parsimonious way.

This basically "worked," I think -- it certainly worked better than I had been expecting, after playing the dangerous game of "write a bunch of weird stuff and hope you'll be able to explain it all later." (I remember talking to one reader who was shocked that I hadn't had the MM in mind from the very beginning, which was flattering.)

It also had unintended consequences that kinda took over the story, but largely in a good way.

Earlier, I had planned to have the post-rebase crash timelines "screened off" from the outside world somehow, so that rebasing a crash wouldn't mess up the timeline of the outside world. But, once I'd fixed the idea that "rebasing is an MM event" in place, I realized that this wasn't consistent with the way MM events were meant to work. Instead, the exposition in Ch. 15 directly implies the stuff about rebases that Grant realizes much later in Ch. 41.

Once I'd noticed this, it was obvious that it was extremely important, and I re-incorporated it into the broader plot.

On a related note, I eventually decided that the account of the anomalings "going backward in time to our era" in Ch. 15 didn't really make sense. This meant I needed a different, more viable way anomalings and bilaterals to exist at the same point in time.

This line of thought, along with several others (like "what happened to all the nonhuman organisms?" and "which parts of the MM multiverse are real?"), eventually led me to invent Everywhere-Heaven and the beasts.

That happened right at the start of 2022, between Chapters 21 and 22.

It quickly became clear that the E-H/beasts stuff could be put to a lot of valuable use in story's third act, which was largely a worrying blank space in my head (even at this point!). From thereon out, I worked on fleshing out the third act behind the scenes while writing the second.

Not coincidentally, Chapter 22 contains a ton of E-H-related foreshadowing, and also some hints that human scientists (like Aidan in Ch. 15) had never fully understood the anomalings.

The use of Maryam Mirzakhani, a real (and recently deceased) mathematician, was a weird choice and arguably one in poor taste. All I can really say in defense of it is that it came to me suddenly, and had a number of properties that fit the vibe of the part of the story in which it appeared, and I have a policy of "going with my gut" when it suggests such things to me.

I felt similarly about this choice and another thing introduced in Ch. 15, the nuclear attack intended to kill scientists. Both of these things underscored the fact that the story took place in an alternate reality. And both felt sort of "edgy," "too dark," "too close to the real world" compared to the tone of the story so far. But I wanted to take the story to new places in the coming acts -- "darker," "more real" places -- and something felt right about introducing these elements at this exact point, as signposts providing an indication of where things were headed.

(4)

The phrase "NOWHERE TO HIDE" was originally "NO MERCY," in my notes.

And the abbreviation "NM" for "NO MERCY" was used throughout my notes for Nowhere-To-Hide related stuff, e.g. "NM Annes."

This wasn't the product of much thought, just the first thing that came to mind that had roughly the correct vibe. I almost immediately concluded that I'd have to replace "NO MERCY" with something else in the work itself, since it would seem like an Undertale reference that I didn't intend to make.

"Moon" was originally just a placeholder name -- a shorthand for "the 'NM Anne' who rebased the Mooncrash." But I liked the idea of actually using it, once it had occurred to me.

The corresponding placeholder name for A11 was "Ling," as in "linguist" (but also an actual name).

(5)

I went through 3 different outlines of the third act.

Really, there was a first outline, which was really bad, and then there were two slightly-different versions of a very different outline that mostly corresponds to the finished draft.

The first, bad outline was amusingly titled "notes-satisfying-ending.txt", because I explicitly used this post about "satisfying endings" as a guideline while writing it.

(To be clear, I don't think the linked post was to blame for the badness of that first outline. I didn't ultimately find the post very helpful as writing advice, but the "satisfying ending" outline wasn't even a "satisfying ending" in the post's own terms, and was also bad in unrelated ways.)

I don't want to go into much detail about the bad outline. It was really bad, and also really different from what eventually occurred. It's honestly a pretty embarrassing document.

A lot of the key ideas were there (E-H, etc.), and the very end of the story was roughly the same. But it had a ton of needless flaws that I later corrected. Various existing character arcs and motivations were dropped and never picked up, or suddenly diverted in some new and unfruitful direction; way too much time was spent on getting characters and objects from point A to point B, or otherwise sort of rambling about in a way that didn't matter in the end; it included a lot of whimsical "fun ideas" that weren't necessary and would have added clutter to an already very full canvas; etc.

I never got to the point of building a chapter-by-chapter version of this outline, but I'm sure it would have much longer than the existing third act, also.

The existing third act is pretty long, but it was actually the result of an aggressive pruning and tightening process.

If the "satisfying-ending" outline had a single greatest flaw, it was terrible pacing. Lots of slack, lots of empty space, and when big things did happen, they came out of nowhere, not really prompted by what came immediately before them.

The next draft of the ending resulted from taking the raw materials of "satisfying-ending," purging all the dross, re-thinking all the obviously flawed stuff, and then trying to rearrange the pieces in front of me in a way that was maximally "tight" and interconnected, with questions and tensions introduced and then resolved in a rapid-fire manner, and without any major thread "sitting around in the background" long enough to feel stale, or get forgotten.

That outline was in a file called "notes-good-end.txt."

Much later, I tightened up the plan even further, merging some things that were originally in separate chapters. This was in a file called "notes-true-end.txt", and -- true to its name -- was the version reflected in the book itself.

So there was "satisfying-ending," which sucked; "good-end," which was good; and "true-end," which was slightly better.

(I realize the multiplicity of the ending, and the account of deliberate "tightening" etc., is in apparent tension with my recent account of working by direct inspiration.

There are a few things I can say about this tension.

For one, it really is true that the third act of AN was more deliberately reasoned-out, and less directly-inspired, than some of the earlier stuff. This is kind of inevitable: you don't get to do anything after an ending, that's what an ending is, and so you have to deliberately try to make the final act of a story fully work as a thing unto itself, rather than writing checks in the hope of cashing them at some later point.

And separately, I do think the final version of the ending feels "more real," "more true to the work" than the satisfying-ending draft.

I think I was aware, even while composing "satisfying-ending," that it felt off and wrong in some ways. But it was only after going through the exercise of creating a complete ending -- some sort of complete ending -- that I was able to look back and say "OK, this fits, but this doesn't fit," and distill something that actually felt right.)

[coffee-master]

What would Kai do in season 3 with the blackout and Nindroids ? I guess he would have a different story than Nya, who had a love triangle problem with Cole and Jay

Ok so first of all- OMG PEOPLE ARE ASKING ABOUT MY AU- THIS IS HAPPENING-!! I'm very excited!!!!

Now to the main point.

In the reboot season, everything would be a little diffrent. I mentioned some things about it on the post about the relationships Jaya & lavashipping in this au here:

But this is only lightly mentioned, so here's more:

In this au Kai would have similar role like canon Nya, but with some differences.

The season begins with the fact "the ninja era is over" and ninjas now are teachers for the kids. They are about to go on a school trip to Borg Industries with the children, but before that could happened, when Cole and Kai are coincidently alone in the classroom, Cole decided to take a shot and ask Kai on a date.

It'd be a little awkward, since Cole has never asked anyone on a date before or was interesed in romantic topic in general. Meanwhile Kai would be taken aback by his question, because he hadn't expeceted that comming. Kai didn't even think that Cole was interesed in him.

However, in the end Kai would agree with a smile, calming the earth ninja down.

Later in the Borg's Industrie as Pixal asked to go to the hundredth floor ninja, Kai at the last moment grabs his sister's hand and asks her to go with him because he wants to discuss something with her.

Even if Kai was good at hiding things and acting cool- He was a little nervous about this date and wated to ask his sister discretly for some advice.

Nya at first reluctantly agreed, but then noticed that something was going on and was curious.

So Sensei Wu, Kai & Nya go together for a tour around the factory. Nya is pretty much interested in the technology, while Kai is thinking how to approach the subject, without her sister finding out about this whole thing.

Eventually they come across this crush-seeking machine and the kids talk Nya into using it and when the result comes everyone is schocked, but Nya doesn't take the result too seriously.

Here her relationship in much better and based on common experiences and trust, and she has is no doubt about it.

The fire master actually takes this more like a joke.

Everyone: *looks shocked at the result*

Nya: Hah, clearly this mashine is broken.

Nya: Cole is only interested in cake.

Kai: ...well actually-

Nya: Hm?

Kai: He kinda asked me on a date today.

Nya: ...

Nya: He what?

After that they are attacked by the machines and ect. and later the whole team meets again. The boy give Nya her new costume and weapoon and later they go to the sensei Garmadon.

There's a lot of fighting, which is practically no different from canon.

Then later on the landfill while fixing Pixal, the result information from the matching-machine comes to light and everyone finds out about the result.

Jay is very concerned about this information, but he does not lash out in anger at Cole. He knows that Cole wouldn't do anything bad and even has crush on Nya's brother, but is still bothered by the result.

Like an inteligente mashine says there's better a match for your girlfriend than you.

That information is just really messing with Jay's head and giving him self-doubts. So during their mission Jay is nervous and wants to prove at all costs that he is better than Cole.

Nya almost immediately noticed that and is both worried and irritated by Jay's behaviour. So after having enough of this nonsense and finding a moment of peace she talks with him.

Nya tires to get this stupid thought out of his head and says that it was dumb of him to even think, that he's not enogh.

In the end everything comes back to normal and nothing too serious happened with their relationship.

Then next fights took place and Kai tries his best to help others, even if he is not very comfortable in the technological world.

Here Kai is also a Samurai X despite lack of engineering skills that Nya has, but but how it happened is another story-

There was not much time for Cole & Kai to interract and after Zane's sacrifice in the end never went on that date.

-----

That's pretty much season 3. I've gotten so many questions about this au lately, I'll try to answer them as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, I'm often busy and write slowly, but I'll do my best!

[Siblings elemental change AU]

First | More about AU | Previous | Next

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting gender envy from different races?

Disclaimer that I know POC are not a monolith and everyone has their own opinion, but I'm genuinely confused and curious, and I am asking in good faith.

I (27NB) was on Twitter a while back, when new photos came out for one of the K-pop groups I follow. A lot of people were making comments about it too, but they were very Gender in a lot of ways, from the styling to the pose to the energy, if that makes sense. It was hardly the first time I'd seen people say a celebrity gives them gender envy, and I'm sure it won't be the last. It's also not solely Korean/Asian people that give me gender envy, but I do admit that it's most typical there—I believe it's because that's the content that I typically consume, but other notable examples are like...David Tennant in Good Omens, and Gwendolyn Christie as Satan, so it's very much not just people of color.

But then I saw someone talking about how white people shouldn't say they have gender envy for Asians, or any POC for that matter, because it's "not actually gender envy, it's just fetishization." It surprised me, because those seem like two different things to me, and it kind of upset me at the time, but the more I've thought about it, the more I understand that as a white person, I have little experience with either subject to draw from.

Now I know this is likely a nuanced discussion, but I'm wondering if it's genuinely an asshole thing to feel gender envy for someone of a different race. If it is, and I'm contributing to harmful behavior, I want to obviously stop doing that, but I simply don't have the experiences to really 'decide' on that, so to speak. So I wanted to get a hopefully larger and more varied pool of people together and see what they think as well.

(PS - pls don't tell me to touch grass or that I'm chronically online. I'm aware of that already. I genuinely am just curious about this and I haven't found many people of color talking about it, so my anxiety refuses to let it rest)

What are these acronyms?

[afanofmanyhats]

You've mentioned your dislike about the Bionicle timeline before. What's your take on it and what doesn't work about it for you? I'm curious to hear your interpretation.

The main issue is the fact that it's a ridiculously, laughably long time for people to stay alive. It takes me out of my immersion to remember that this whole storyline takes place over a period of time ten times greater than the existence of Jericho, but characters like Ackar and Kiina on Bara Magna and the majority of characters in the Matoran Universe have lived that whole time. I'm not opposed to immortal/long-lived characters as an idea, but the story needs to do something with that time scale.

For instance, in Tolkien's works, the ages of the Elven characters has weight in their characterization and relationships to the others. The Silmarillion highlights their horror and sadness as they realize their new human friends will age and die in what feels like no time at all to the Elves. In the Lord of the Rings, the lifespans of Elrond and Galadriel add extra gravity to their advice and foresight; they've lived longer than any of the main characters and know the threat of Sauron better than anyone. Their longevity makes them unique, provides diversity and contrast.

Meanwhile, everyone in BIONICLE ages the same way, so there isn't really a highlightable difference in how aging affects you. It's entirely subjective. Helryx and Artakha are all the same age as Takua, possibly even younger, but they're the ones noted for being ancient. I know Takua had several layers of amnesia, but his personality largely stayed consistent, so the fact that he was apparently an irascible scamp since creation makes him feel static. You're telling me he only underwent major personality changes in the last few years?

The ridiculously long timeline also makes the story feel static because it's frankly pretty sparse. Bara Magna has been a desert wasteland with a half-dozen tribes since the Shattering; the only major political shift occurred when the Skrall migrated to Roxtus less than two years before the '09 arc. The MU's timeline is more detailed, but the information we do have still suggests its development is relatively stagnant. The League of Six Kingdoms and the Matoran Civil War/Great Disruption happen back to back, but then the timeline's fairly empty for 75,000 years. All we have to go off of for the main markers is the Brotherhood consolidating power and Dume is active as a Toa. We don't get more detailed politics until the time of the Toa Mangai, and then things start happening with greater and greater intensity that feels natural.

All this to say: when you're making an expansive timeline, it helps to make it feel dense, especially the closer you get to the events of the story. Human history is intricately complicated, with even Dark Ages still providing us ample discussion through archaeology and the lack of written evidence. BIONICLE's timeline has great worldbuilding from a political and social development lens, but it's too stretched out. I'd say that cutting the timeline down to 10,000 years would solve a lot of the issues I discussed. Also reducing the ages of many of the characters, especially the ones on Bara Magna. It's hard to sell Gresh as young when he'd be old enough to remember when humans first started leaving Africa, you know?

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Do you think petunia dursley deserve redemption?

Now a days many people say she was manipulated by Vernon or James insulted her( she saw james in harry) and they try to excuse her actions because she was woman.

After the war Petunia will divorce Vernon and harry will forgive her. They even say Petunia secretly always cared about Harry.

Please share your thoughts(only if you have time/want to ofcourse)

Thank you

I think young Petunia is a character it's easy to feel compassion for.

I can't really blame her for not wanting Lily around or not wanting anything to do with magic.

As a child, she is quite close to her younger sister and she has to witness that younger sister all of a sudden going on an adventure without her because her sister has magic and Petunia doesn't.

I dare anyone to not feel resentful and envious in that situation.

And the fact that she is the older sister makes it worse because when Lily goes to Hogwarts they are still in that age where the younger sibling tends to admire and still wants to follow the older and out of the blue that dynamic radically changes.

When in DH we find out that Petunia sent a letter to Dumbledore asking to go to Hogwarts, my heart absolutely breaks for her every single time I re-read it.

And then when Lily enters the wizarding world, Petunia is left to her normal life, which is probably not that great. The Evanses aren't poor but they are definitely not rich. And she is still very much a girl in the 70s, not as bad as the 30s but not as good as today. All of this is to say that she is not left in a situation of privilege and luxury and therefore has nothing to complain about.

Petunia is also left to deal with lying to protect Lily's secret, probably having to say something about how she was sent to some special school for very talented kids, therefore having to make herself appear as the stupid sister. And so everyone would be super curious about this brilliant sister of Petunia, forcing her to live in Lily's shadow even outside of the house and with Lily in Scotland. It's also implied that Lily is the beautiful sister, which I'm sure doesn't help Petunia's resentment. It writes itself a scene from a summer in 1976, where Petunia's friends are eager to meet/see again her beautiful brilliant sister, and Petunia dies of envy.

It's true that Lily enters a world in which as a muggle-born she is subjected to discrimination but I doubt Petunia knew much about it:

Even though Petunia was raised alongside a witch, she is remarkably ignorant about magic. - from Vernon and Petunia Dursley by JK Rowling

Then Lily ends up marrying James Potter, rich, athletic, and good-looking. While Petunia marries Vernon. Tell me you wouldn't hate Lily even more. Lily marrying a wizard so soon after Hogwarts also adds to the separation of the two sisters into two different worlds. Other factors are the war in the wizarding world and the death of their parents.

And speaking of the devil, Petunia seems also resentful towards her parents for showing, according to her, a preference for Lily:

I was the only one who saw her for what she was -- a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!" She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed she had been wanting to say all this for years. -Chapter 4, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowing

If you notice, Harry doesn't know anything about Mr and Mrs Evans, one thing is him not knowing about the Potters but if Harry doesn't know anything about the Evans grandparents, it means Dudley doesn't either, it means Petunia doesn't talk about them, doesn't have photos of them. Frankly, seeing the relationship between the two sisters, the Envases mustn't have been geniuses at the whole parenting thing.

And for all of this, again, I can't blame her for hating magic, especially when you consider that the first and one of the only experiences with wizards she has is Snape [how hilarious it is that those two know each other?], someone that hates muggles and literally made a tree branch fall on her. Then there's the sister that seems to live to outshine her and Dumbledore who tells her she is not special (not in those terms obviously, he is quite kind actually, but how is a young girl going to perceive that letter if not like that?). By the time she meets James, she already hates magic too deeply.

This Petunia is someone that makes you wish life had been a little kinder to her, and maybe then she could have been better.

But the Petunia since she takes Harry in? She is a monster. What she does to Harry should have put her in jail, and there's no indication that it's Vernon who forces her to behave like that. Like there's no indication that Vernon and Petunia don't love each other. If anything, the fact that Vernon agrees to have Harry in the house despite hating him seems a testament to how much he loves Petunia.

Harry does seem to hate Vernon in particular but the more fitting explanation seems to be that Vernon is a man and therefore more intimidating.

As wrong as it would have been, I could have even forgiven Petunia if she had just been a little colder towards Harry and shown a preference for Dudley. She is substantially forced to take this boy into her house, a boy who has a genocidal maniac after him and therefore potentially puts in danger her, her husband and her son, and she is also forced to see the dynamic that brought so much pain to her repeat again. Dudley is Petunia, and Harry is Lily. Dudley is a muggle, and Harry is a wizard. It's pretty reasonable for her to hate the idea that one day her son will feel like she did. Maybe she was even planning to not have more than one child just to avoid that. Petunia hates Harry because she sees Lily in him, not James. James canonically never insulted Petunia, the only reasons Petunia has for hating him are that he is a wizard and Lily's husband. At best she may have reason to not find him particularly likeable:

The first meeting between Lily, her boyfriend James Potter, and the engaged couple, went badly, and the relationship nose-dived from there. James was amused by Vernon, and made the mistake of showing it. Vernon tried to patronise James, asking what car he drove. James described his racing broom. Vernon supposed out loud that wizards had to live on unemployment benefit. James explained about Gringotts, and the fortune his parents had saved there, in solid gold. Vernon could not tell whether he was being made fun of or not, and grew angry. The evening ended with Vernon and Petunia storming out of the restaurant, while Lily burst into tears and James (a little ashamed of himself) promised to make things up with Vernon at the earliest opportunity. This never happened. Petunia did not want Lily as a bridesmaid, because she was tired of being overshadowed; Lily was hurt. Vernon refused to speak to James at the reception, but described him, within James’ earshot, as ‘some kind of amateur magician’. -from Vernon and Petunia Dursley by JK Rowling 

But what Petunia does to Harry goes way beyond anything that could have been excused. And of course, we are also forced to re-read a younger Petunia through that lens, you don't become someone that could do that to a child out of the blue. Was there really ever a time in which she could have been saved?

As for redemption, the personality that is presented to us is not remotely complex enough to consider a redemption arc. Nothing that could be considered in-character. Among the established core traits of her character, there are being envious, and full of hatred.

But even if Petunia decided to become a better person for who knows what spiritual awakening, I don't see why that should become Harry's problem. Each person may have a right to become a better one but that doesn't mean they stop being the person who did the bad things. Even if Petunia became a saint who volunteers in children's hospitals, she would still be the woman who abused Harry, mentally and physically, throughout the first two decades of his life.

I do think that Harry would probably make some sort of attempt to hear her out if that were the case (as much as I also think Ginny would absolutely hate the idea and refuse to let him go alone) because Harry is too compassionate for his own good, and shows more than once to have a problem when it comes to setting boundaries in favour of his own emotional comfort. But I also think it would cause him a great deal of pain and distress and they would never be able to be more than just civil to each other.

In light of that, but also as a general statement in regards to this morbid obsession a lot of people seem to have for redemption arcs, I'd like to say that there's no acceptable reason for the redemption of the abuser to become the punishment of the abused.

[I would advise reading the piece written by Rowling on Vernon and Petunia, there it's made very clear that they love each other]