#i'm rambling. there's a lot i have to say about this verse. but POINT IS. COME WRITE W ME ABOUT IT

[gemharvest]

Might not be exactly what you asked for but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go into more depth about the bf and pico drawing with the kinto pet song lyrics 🙏🙏🙏🙏 it has haunted me in a good way and I will explode without more

UR MORE THAN FINE DWWW it's easier for me to ask for prompts but I LOVE ASKS IN GENERAL I like getting to ramble. Forever and always if you see me post something and you want me to elaborate on it/ have specific questions/ literally whatever PLEASE DON'T BE SCARED TO SEND AN ASK IN !!!

okay needed that out of the way first LOLLLLL

The like. Images I get in my head when I listen to this song drive me insane like this was just me putting it into one image but I could deadass do a full PMV if I had the time.

Obvi I prefer to draw in a more Funkin'-influenced style, but esp. with how Pico is drawn I hope it's clear I was leaning into the Pico's School side of things.

(continuing under a cut because I am about to Ramble)

I don't think I was consciously thinking abt it the other night BUT at least the first verse makes me think. Of the Love Conquers All version of Pico's School. An ideal ending; Cassandra is convinced not to carry out her plan, nobody dies, Pico certainly wouldn't be Going Through It. Maybe in this ideal ending they (Pico & BF) wouldn't have split. "In this world, we're friends forever".

I also imagine it as like.. basically how the art I did ended up being. They're just black lines on a white background. Faces obscured. Maybe with some visual effects that distort things too/ some pixelation whatever. I actually think I was planning to have some parts of that pixelated but forgot by the time I was home and could draw; might have been for the best but here's a version with a biit of what I'm talking abt.

They're in a void. Separate from the real world, but happy. Stuck in a loop of the happiest time of their lives (mostly thinking from Pico's perspective with that lol). Is that not better than having to continue on in a fucked reality?

Of course, that's not real. It's just an imaginary loop of "what if"s in Pico's mind. It's a world he built for Boyf.

In this world, Boyfriend is always following with Pico, always showing him kindness and always smiling. Pico's emotions are less readable; maybe in a proper PMV I'd give him his mouth too so he can show he is at least somewhat happy, but despite being the "leader" of the two, he is much more passive, reserved. They are always holding each other's hands.

Verse 2 would be the inverse (lol), signaled by the stronger beats kicking in. White lines on black background. It's no longer the ideal world, and instead the "real world". Real, but distorted by trauma. "Inside my code, you'll always be". The world Cass built for Pico.

The bit of instrumental between verses 2 & 3 would be the Real real world, going forward to when FNF would take place; Pico and Boyfriend reconnected, through less than ideal means, though reconnected nontheless.

We're back to black lines on white background, but everything's less distorted. There's more details too, the world not just being a hazy backdrop for Pico and Boyfriend to play around in, but real.

He's different from Pico's memories, obviously, drawn now in the FNF style fully. More confident, still stupid. He has Girlfriend now.

The first 2 lines of verse 3, his imagined worlds and the real world melt together. Mixed in ways that highlight a feeling of off-ness. Everything feels strange, distorted, unreal.

The last 2 lines it's just Pico and Boyfriend hanging out alone. "All that's left is me and you/Lots of fun that we can do". Boyfriend cheery as ever, while Pico is visibly nervous-- uncharacteristic for him but we don't see if Boyfriend notices.

The strong beat kicking in again sends us back to the imagined world. The good world. But things are wrong. The real world is slipping in, things are no longer stagnant; no longer perfect. Visual distortions/ glitches worsen.

Pico could delude himself when he hadn't known where Boyfriend was; now that he's back, his world warps. No longer under his control. He is not in the lead.

The first half of the outro Boyfriend is still mostly playing along, though still seems to be growing disinterested. Pico is noticably anxious, clearly seeing how the other is no longer like a puppy at his side. Boyfriend is pulling away. Why is he pulling away, when everything's "perfect"? Why is everything going wrong. "The world I built, designed for you".

The second half of the outro, Boyfriend is now actively pulling away. He no longer looks like the idealized, young Boyfriend. He's older, a stranger, he doesn't care for Pico anymore. Pico is older now too, desperately holding on to Boyfriend. Unwilling to let him go again, first in the real world and now in his mind. Boyfriend refuses to hold his hand but Pico still grips onto his arm. Their eyes finally become visible in the imagined world.

Pico's behavior mirrors Cassandra's involvement in the second verse, though unintentionally violent as opposed to her intentional violence. He's selfish, desperate to hold on to his world; to Boyfriend. He's hurting the imagined Boyfriend in the process, but that is second in his mind to him so desperately trying to avoid a second heartbreak. Anything to keep his world together, his peace. Without it, he just has the dark.

Beyond this screen, you cannot leave Inside my code, you'll always be Endless fun that we can do In a world I built for you

In the final instrumental and as the song fades out, Pico wakes up. He's shaken, disgusted by how he acted in his mind and feeling like he's nothing but an anchor to Boyfriend, holding him back. He can't keep clinging to this false reality, nor can he pretend he's doing any good by being in Boyfriend's life again. His mind is made up.

...

LOL I hope the way I summarized The Thoughts I get paints the picture I get in my mind. I've got terminal artist brain I am imagining AMVs to near everything I listen to I am not joking; had to take a break halfway through typing this to walk around a store and I was looping KATAMARI by femtanyl for like half of it imagining an edit in my head. I can imagine anything jpeg.

I wanna very much stress that all that above would have been filtered through Pico's mind. He's not actively hurting Boyfriend, but he's fucking terrified of doing so and he feels so fucking guilty for continuing to hold on to the past they had. I guess it wouldn't be apparent from what I described but he'd also feel guilty for still having feelings for him when the other has moved on and even has a girlfriend.

His world, once his perfect escape from the anguish of his reality, corrupts as he feels worse and worse over even entertaining the thoughts. Him deciding to forget his world and, in turn, go to cut off Boyfriend for the other's sake is not based on objective reality, but an act of self-sabotage that he convinces himself to be the best outcome for everybody.

^ Literally included him doing this shit in a part of that last fic I did you can tell this is something I find interesting exploring with him.

The tone of the song too just fucking.. it adds to the eeriness I'd want out of a proper PMV of this idea. The way it's clearly an homage to the IBM 7094 singing Daisy Bell; the voice and instrumentals just feel so unnerving. Sweet and innocent on the surface, but clearly holding bad intentions. Maybe not intentionally bad, maybe misguided good even, but they are not good nor sweet nor kind. I am talking about the song on it's own divorced from it being from KinitoPET what I describe here is just the feelings it gives me in regards to my favies.

Anyways uhhhh god I could go on for hours but I've been going off for long enough I'm sorry to anyone reading this who had to sit through my insanity. My head is now lighter with this information shared tho.. I guess in conclusion: I am definitely normal and neurotypical and can be trusted to listen to music and be into my games without creating the most devastating ideas known to man. xoxo

[luscinai]

Anyway. Upcoming Star Wars verse post some time soon because I'm gnawing again, but—birdie as a Jedi Shadow, knighted a while before Order 66 and subsequently forced into hiding for survival. Bounty hunter for a living as she continues her duty to eradicate anything Sith where possible.

[madrone33]

THE WISDOM SAGA IS OUT AHHHH

It was SO much better than I anticipated. Like, I knew it'd be amazing to listen to - 'cause practically all of Jorge's stuff is - but I was less attached to Telemachus as a character than Ody, so while I was settled in for a fun time I wasn't as invested as I had been for the previous sagas.

Little. Did. I. Know.

HOW DO THE SAGAS JUST KEEP BEING SO GOOD LIKE WHAT JORGE DO YOU SLEEP

Anyway, now that it's officially out for everyone, here's 1000+ words worth of excited screeching/rambling/word vomit from my immediate reaction to the audio, when it released at midnight for me! (I'm australian, so I got it 15 hours ahead of the americans lol, but also means I hadn't seen the animatics from the Live at this point)

Also, heads up there's a lot of swearing and I wasn't very coherent, 'cause my brain-to-type filter was non-existent at midnight while in the middle of a HYPE adrenaline rush lol

I feel so awake rn, even though it's midnight lol.

Started smiling as soon as I heard him. He sounds so GOOD!! MICO you're knocking it out of the park!

"Come and give me a sign!" Ayyy the Athena motif!!

Ooh they merged MICO's audition way of saying "if you're dead... or just tooo far"!

"Can I do whatever I takes to keep my mum safe?" aww don't worry bebe Athena's coming!

"Where is the man who'll have to wife?" ooh they really did use the Man of the House lines!

And they dropped that it's been 20 years! That's good, a proper timeline needed to be established at this point or newcomers might get confused.

ohhh shit! That growled "Boy!"

(Also, edit from after I watched the Livestream: HE DID NOT JUST THROW A BOWL AT MY BOY OH HELL NO-)

"Why don't you open her room so we can" oh FUCK OFF ANTINOUS!

oh the LINE! The CHAMP line!

"If I fight this monster" THS MONSTER! It changed from those monsters to this monster, because while he might be having fun thinking of conquering distant monsters out in the world, the real monster is living in his home and he needs his father's strength more than ever and AHHH

(Another edit from post Live: he decided to fight for his mum's honour and thought he'd get a beatdown or DIE in the attempt and STILL put his fists up oh my goddd!! And also, HIM STEPPING INTO THE SPIRIT OF HIS FATHER AHHH)

Ok I hate Antinous already. Like, I really love his voice, it's perfect, Ayron did amazing, but Antinous? What the FUCK! FUCK HIM! And I decided I love Telemachus. He sounds so helpless in that last line 🥺 ATHENA STEP IN!

Listening to Little Wolf now! Oh god I'm scared for Tele

(Edit post Live: YOOO IT'S FULL ON STREET FIGHTER STYLE!)

"Wanna entertain me?" oh EW Antinous!

I just have a permanent stink face on rn lol

"Wanna entertain me?" Still ew, but also aww he didn't do the growl like in the demo

Clock sound effect! ATHENA!!!

she's giving TE/MO type vocal vibes, more than Act 1 Athena lol

"What's going on here??" lmao he's confused about Quick-Thought, like ody wasn't

"Uppercut him. Now." AYYYY FIGHT ADVICE

she's doing the verse melody but for him!

wait what'd she say? "I've no respect for bullies! Those who [something something] will!"

SHE CALLED HIM A DOG HA! What's a dog to a wolf hey antinous >:)

"One young wolf has a larger heart than all these men combined!" awww Athena <3

YES!! SHE'S SINGING THE CHORUS BUT IN HIS FAVOUR!!

the HARMONIES!!

"Oooh, maybe I pushed you a bit too hard..." lol she's too used to ody who is used to her

oh FUCK OFF antinous!

"Tell me, Athena, why you came to my aid..." wait WAIT HE SUNG THE "what keeps you up so late at night myyy friend?" MELODY??? HOLY SHIT!!

Ok that was awesome. We'll Be Fine time!

SHE CALLED ODY HER FRIEND!!

OMG SHE'S DOING THE "MIIIND" RIFF!!

awww she regrets <3

NO THE "SLEEP AT NIGHT" CALLING BACK TO ALL THOSE TIME ODY COULDN'T SLEEP FROM REGRET

omg but her HIGH notes

ooh? 👀 The line changed from "sailed to an island" to "and I didn't die?? What does this mean for HTD's "I heard he's on a diplomatic mission" line?

oh now HIS high notes!!

THEIR HARMONIES!!

awww their motifs mixing! <3 <3

(Edit post Live: lmao him trying to lean on her shoulder and accidentally falling through her instead XD)

Well that was nice! Time for LIP... What am I in for bro

AHA I was RIGHT! The music from the cover art reveal IS here at the start of this song!

OH HOLY HSIT NOT HIS "REMEMBER ME" OMG WAIT GO BACK

The "ohhhh" motif from Remember Them!

TIME DIVE! WITH LYRICS!

oh yo! THESE scenes! We called the Sirens, Scylla, and Thunder Bringer on the discord, but the lines that are being used are INTERESTING

(Edit post Live: the animatics are going CRAZY this saga!)

calypso time...

Ooh calypso's voice is much gentler than the snippets! (I'm determined to not let my bias against her character in the Odyssey colour how I feel about her performance, because Wangui is a lovely person, and her voice is beautiful.)

lmao the awkwardly long pause and then "... ANWAYS!" is always funny XD

the electronic elements when she reveals what she is!

"Time can take a heavy toll." uh oh what's that mean

Damn not the "all I hear are screams"-

...

... holy fuck. Um. My jaw literally dropped what. What. Ok first, her "ody" fuck that. Second, the LEDGE?? Um. UM. I need to rewind please

Oh shit

Oh my goddd JUST LET HIM GO

NOT THE OPEN ARMS NO WHAT THE FUCK NOT POLITES OMG EURYLOCHUS OH FUCK ANTICLEA TOO OH SHIT

no him calling for athena! 😭

the slow clock omgggg

YES GO HELP HIM HE NEEDS HELP

... wait I need to rewind wait shit I'm shaking

ok. Pause. That was.

I guess I called correctly, but it turned out to be a BIT of an understatement when I said there'd be an UNEXPRECTED EMOTIONAL MOMENT! What the FUCK. Oh god that was incredible and I teared up and ah fuck wtf fuck who gave him the RIGHT

TIme for God Games. Shit. Am I ready for Beast Mode Zeus??? No. But I'm doing it anyway! :D

ok that was beautiful. Also her calling him "father" was unexpected but welcome

"... Odysseus." commander motif!!

god I love his voice but I hate him

ok I love how he says "AphroDITE!" I'm smiling, I'm getting into this

also, wait why does he say "or" instead of "and" like the snippets did?

The voice teasers! Ah shit I can't believe I'm going to HEAR THEIR VERSES IN A FEW SECONDS WHAT. Also Hera's voice is VERY interesting!

Apollo? YO?? Wait wait I have to go back and actually listen to the words lmao his voice is cool!

oh the sirens??

Huh. I... don't really get that logic? Athena just said "yeah but they had it coming and now they'll know better" and he replied "understandable have a nice day"?

wow what is that accent? Lemme go back and understand lol

damn those went by quick. Also, not what I'd thought their issues would be. Tho I think someone called the sirens one!

ooh wait I've always loved aphrodite's, this is BEAUTIFUL. I need to go back to the start of the song so I can get her full impact after pausing so much.

ohhh she's the first one to reject athena!

Ares!!

"HOLD YOUR TONGUE NOW! HIS SON'S MY FRIEND!"oop you done fucked up ares

oh I LIKE hera's voice! It's kinda airy but still hella powerful!

damn my jaw hurts from smiling

I hear cheering 👀

ohhh THAT'S what he meant by "or"! Athena was supposed to face either the five gods or Zeus?

"You DARE to defy me!" DAMN Zeus! That growl!

THUNDER BRINGER CHORUS!

lightning bolt to the face lmao

oh? The Wotm motif?

wait. Is the. Is this the "anime character on brink of death thinks of their friends and powers up" moment???

(Edit post Live: shit, zeus. Someone call CPS)

"Let him go..." oh wait that's IT?? NO WHAT SHIT

... lemme hear that end bit again.

WAIT reading through the comments and JORGE'S DAD VOICES HEPHAESTUS?? HOLY SHIT THAT'S EPIC! Now we just need his sister lol.

Oh that's right, I can see the cast now! Brandon McInnis as Apollo, POSEY as Hera, and Mike Rivera as Hephaestus. Nice.

It's 1 am now. Holy shit that was a wild ride. Damn. Hats off to Jorge and all the cast and editors and EVERYONE, that was absolutely incredible!! 💙🙌🏼🎉

... but also JORGE! WHEN I CATCH YOU JORGE-

[yiga-hellhole]

hiii i was going to make more of these but i realized i cant be arsed for all of them in one big batch. anyway @smilesrobotlover thank you bestie for reminding me this template exists. too bad there isnt a slider for "beats the other up - is beaten up" because you know the boys are FIGHTINGGGG

some rambling under the cut

big spoon and little spoon is a straightforward one because well, you're not going to get a bigger damn spoon than zant. he's massive. but sometimes even he likes feeling small and cared for, so they're not beyond having him fold his spindly limbs up like he's a dead spider and let ghirahim scoop him into his arms

i don't see them as a big "sharing clothes" type of couple. ghirahim's are far too small for him and his wardrobe flusters zant to no end. inversely, ghirahim wouldn't be caught dead in most of zant's things. but zant would find a lot of enjoyment in giving him clothes

pet names, ghirahim has like 2~3 for zant that he uses, and they're never particularly sappy or anything. zant however makes up new ones every other day. he's sick in the head

introverted-extroverted scale is a little complicated because ghirahim strikes me as more ambiverted. he's well-versed socially and loves attention, specifically loves bullying people, but after spending so long in solitude without proper peers, i think being alone has grown rather comforting for him too. who knows how it'll pack out when he has more like-minded individuals around him? i'm not sure yet.

for love-language, like i said, ghirahim isn't very sappy. he's far more touchy-feely in that aspect where he will just grab and kiss and tease when he feels the need. zant is a solid 50-50 because he loves being touched but also makes up sappy little nicknames on the spot or a long-winded declaration of love to the point it starts getting a little annoying. he's just kind of intense.

confession... well ghirahim would be quick to start doing things that typically denote a couple, but leaves it up to zant to actually officiate the whole thing. partly because he has issues. but also because he loves any chance at making him flustered (issues... 2!)

i don't think either of them are scared of bugs. but ghirahim is callous in getting rid of them and zant will just add them to his personal collection if he can catch em

twili society is rather high-tech. they probably have vehicles of some kind, and zant strikes me as the kind of guy who can drive. irresponsibly, i'll grant, but he'll do it. ghirahim would know how, but he refuses to. he's spoiled like that

the cooking one is funny because anyone in my server will know about the 'zant meal' phenomenon. he can cook, at least to keep himself alive, but the things he makes are horrifying to witness. unprecedented flavor profiles and chaotic execution. just don't worry about it. ghirahim, meanwhile, has a built-in chemical compendium and a heat sensor. theoretically he'd make an excellent cook and baker. he just doesn't want to.

zant loves affection, but is a very private person. he knows ghirahim is very showy and obnoxious, so if he lets him get away with slobbering his face even once, he;d have to deal with it every single hour of the day. and that'd embarrass him!!

theyre BOTH overprotective. it's a problem. though, zant in the sense of, "i want him to be all mine, i want to be all he thinks about, i want him by my side every minute of the day", and ghirahim in the sense of, livestock guard dog with spiked collar to murder wolves.

ghirahim has more relationship experience in that he's met many faces in his millennia of living.... but this kind of romantic intimacy is unknown to him. the whole song-and-dance of courtship he knows, but genuine love, he doesn't. zant had one FWB in college that he fell in fairy-tale love with and planned their wedding in his head after one (1) kiss. needless to say when that guy broke up wih him he was very normal.

i think the horny-awkwardness-jealousy levels speak for themselves.

[5and3nevermind]

Hello! A few days ago I was thinking about yoonmin (as I often do hehehe) and I started thinking about jimin and his gender. Now, I'm not sure if he identifies as anything other than male, but it's safe to say that he has struggled with masculinity and toxic expectations when he was younger. There have been some instances in the last few years were there have been some non-bn references, the first ones that come to mind are the fotoshoot with the bigender symbol and taemin's words on suchwita (“jimin also has that gender-neutral charm and also delicate”).

What I wanted to ask you is how do you think gender has impacted yoonmin?

I don't know if you've ever received an anon about this topic but I was curious about your opinion 😅

Personally, I think Jimin struggled a lot in his early years since he felt the pressure to fullfil this assigned strong masculine roll within the group (when they made him lift his shirt and do things like that). From what he's said in interviews, he later learned to accept himself and I can only think about how reassuring it must have been to have someone as accepting and supportive as yoongi by his side. I feel like yoongi is the kind of person who would encourage him to freely explore his gender (his bestie Halsey uses she/they pronouns by the way) and especially through his art (when face came out some ppl interpreted as Jimin talking about his gender and I found it very interesting).

Anyways, I feel like I'm just rambling haha. To sum up we don't know if he's 100% non-bn, he may still identify as a cis man, but still it's safe to say that he has been exploring his gender in the past.

(We'll probably never get a confirmation if he's actually non-bn, unless things in Korea change A LOT.)

Hi anon! Your question about gender in terms of yoonmin is a good one and something I have wondered about too!

First of all, I agree with you regarding Jimin and his relationship with gender. We’ve gotten many clues (and what I would consider more than clues) about this.

In regards to yoonmin as a pair, one thing I’ve noticed are the types of words Yoongi uses to describe Jimin. Yes, he’s called him handsome. But he’s also used gender-neutral or even traditionally feminine adjectives to describe him: “sexy,” “pretty,” “small and cute.” I think he does this because he knows these are the type of words that Jimin enjoys. Typically, when someone gives a compliment, their words are tailored to fit the person they are complimenting.

Another example: when Yoongi quoted the k-drama line to Jimin backstage in Newark, he quoted the male character’s line thus placing Jimin in the female role in that scenario.

(Likewise, Yoongi seems to be perfectly fine with Jimin referring to him as “cute” and “baby,” which to me shows a level of open mindedness that, unfortunately, many men lack.)

They’re both smart people and they’ve been in the entertainment industry long enough to know how fans analyze things. So, even if the female lead in the Like Crazy choreo isn’t Jimin’s reflection (although I believe she is), he at least would have known that some people would interpret that way…and he was fine with that. Similarly, by now Yoongi knows what many fans think of his Cypher 3 verse. Yet years later, he included that verse, unchanged, in his D-Day set list.

I’m rambling now, but my point is they have both demonstrated an accepting/progressive attitude toward these issues and have not attempted to “set the record straight” when it comes to gender (or sexual orientation, for that matter).

Obviously, Yoongi and Jimin are individuals and each of them has their own unique feelings about gender. We can see differences in terms of how they present themselves. But I do see commonalities in terms of their way of thinking, their acceptance of themselves and their acceptance of others. I hope that makes sense!

Here’s Jimin playing with the idea of gender roles and putting himself in the feminine role: shocked that he’s been caught shirtless, while he places the viewer, who is likely to be female given Army’s demographics, in the role of the voyeur (typically thought of as the masculine role). He seems to love doing this, turning the tables and offering unexpected and non-traditional portrayals of gender roles.

Here’s a video of Jimin talking about how he’s changed and grown over the years.

Here’s a video of Jimin showing (again) that he’s comfortable playing with the idea of traditional gender roles.

Here’s Yoongi saying in an interview that everyone is equal.

Here’s a photo of Yoongi wearing his pride Vans.

Here’s a really cute video of Yoongi with a male fan. (He is treating the male fan the same way he’d treat a female fan, giving the high-five and the cute pout. Like he said in the interview, “everyone is equal,” and he treats fans accordingly. I love this video!)

In Yoongi’s case, I understand that these are not examples related to gender specifically. I see these as clues to his world view and his inclusivity, and of course I’m sure he extends that way of thinking to Jimin.

I hope this made sense! Thanks for this ask, anon!

[0oolookitsme]

A Messy Day

Type- One-Shot

Verse- Singer!Harry xCeo!Y/n

Word Count- 2.5k

Warnings- I literally never write angst and I guess it might be showing in this fic lmao.

A/N- I just hope you don't absolutely hate this, I just don't have any idea what couples would fight about, what would be a big or small deal for them! I already beg your pardon hahah <3

She doesn't know what she did that made him feel like that. She just cares for him and is in love with him- is that where she went wrong? Because if yes, then this might be the only mistake which will have wounded her so badly that she won't even speak to another human ever again.

She was just helping him calm down before the show, telling him all the positive things that could happen while he was on the stage as he was brushing his teeth. She was just coming onto the point of making memories when he just spat out the toothpaste, rinsed his mouth and went away humming back at her in a dismissive response.

She was left dumbfounded sitting on the bathroom counter, but she brushed it off thinking maybe he was just feeling better now. It hit her in the heart when she saw him rambling to Mitch instead and as much as she tried to cover up her disappointment by thinking that he maybe wanted some relatability, she couldn't help but leave the space immediately to just forget this ever happened.

And she had. Sitting on a wooden chair, she chatted away with the cooking crew to selfishly keep her mind away from the way Harry had stirred-up shit in the over-thinking part of her brain. But she was also curious to know about how it felt to cook at somewhere which isn't the most usual space for cooking and chef-ing around.

She had even befriended the female chef; Charlotte was her name. Charlotte had told her about her nickname often being 'chocolate' to sweeten y/n's mood. Maybe she had just sensed that something was off ...women things? Y/n has no idea.

"Is my soup ready?" Harry's head peeked inside the kitchen area and every head turned towards him except for y/n's as she truly cannot afford tearing up in front of so many people.

One of them chimed in to tell him that it isn't yet but should be in around five more minutes. "Can you bring it to my room, love?" He asked and there's no doubt he's talking to his girlfriend.

"Sure," she mumbles quietly, her back still turned to him. Hearing him pad away without much care about her strange behaviour towards him, she looked up again while inhaling deeply, trying to keep her emotions in control when all she wanted to do was lock herself up in a bathroom and cry.

Only Harry had this much control over her feelings, only him. No one could make her want to just cry this much but Harry, she realized today. No one could pull as many emotions out of her as he could- she knew that since before though. But all she can think of right now is them separating- him leaving her all alone to be specific, and regrets of opening up to him and letting her walls down for him start to fill in.

"You wanna try this and tell me how it tastes? I'm sure you have a pretty good taste," Charlotte pats her shoulders, causing her to blink out of the void.

"Of course," she perks up at the sound of food, getting off the chair. Somewhere inside, she's a lot grateful for Char, so she brushes her hand on her back, trying to let her know without having to say it out loud.

Turning to face y/n, Char hands her a small tea plate while mumbling 'here'. The loose liquid is moving around with ease in the circular utensil, so y/n can tell that it's the soup and not the curry to a dinner they'll be packing for the crew.

She carefully slurps on it and the hot feeling of it against the back of her throat makes her rolls her eyes at the back of head. It brings her comfort. "Fuck, this shit is so very good," she opens her eyes to look at a grinning Charlotte. "You were on the Vogue Magazine labeled as the best chef for a reason, eh?" She compliments the blushing chef.

Just as Char mutters a small 'thank you' Y/n realizes that she might be giving out wrong indications, especially with how close she's standing to her. "Sorry," she clears her throat while backing away a few steps while waiting for Char to pour the soup in a bowl so that she can take it to- oh hell no.

She'll do anything to avoid him right now but seeing everyone busy in something, she has to somehow work up the courage to face him.

Charlotte hums for y/n to take ahold of the bowl and she takes it graciously to feel the heat of the utensil in her palms for a mere while. With the spoon already dipped inside, she moves towards the exit with caution as to not move with too much movement or some soup might end up on floor- and she really doesn't want to increase someone's work in this already hectic schedule.

Taking a turn towards the room of the one and only, she knocks lightly before opening the door and placing her first step inside through the small gap between the door and its frame. Instantly the door is hardly pushed back to close it and she feels the muscles of her foot squish so hard that a hissed-yell escapes her mouth.

Just as she curses though, the person inside opens the door with a frown on their face. "Couldn't you have waited for me to open the door or at least told me that it's you? I'm literally in my briefs!" He whisper yells at her and a sheen layer of salty water spreads across her sight, making everything look blurry.

Usually, they both would've laughed at their silliness but not right now- not when some shit has already been churned up. They can't even make themselves fake smile at each other.

"Fuckin' shit Harry, no! You tell me to bring you your damn soup and expect a ghost to bring it to you?" She lightly yells at him, letting him take ahold of the bowl now. Just as he turns around to place his bowl on the vanity with a strange face, she runs away. She runs to save herself the dignity she's got and slams the bathroom door once she's in there.

Maybe they could've talked through their fight as he'd slurp on his soup and y/n would chew on some cashews, but there's no way she's going back so instantly now.

He's only been making her feel ashamed of herself since the fucking morning today and she can't bring herself to be vulnerable in front of him anymore for the day- hopefully. Why is she getting so fucking sensitive ever since he has entered her life, she has no idea and it's driving her insane. Maybe it's just her periods approaching but she can't help but accept that it's her Harry, her boyfriend, love of her life and fucking best friend who's made her feel like shit all day.

She looks up, facing the ceiling so that her tears don't slip out.

It all started this morning when she was just feeling generous with affections and maybe he was feeling like an adult, not liking her 'child-like' behaviour. Yep, he had asked her "You're acting so childish today, everything Okay?" when all she wanted to do was make a fountain on the top of his head.

She had laughed it off in the moment, but she just gets it now.

Breathing in and out while her tears get soaked back in, she thinks about every fun memory she can and passes herself a sweet smile in the mirror, waiting till her nose returns back to its normal and she suddenly starts looking pretty.

She opens the door and moves towards his room again, the pain in her foot having been thought away as she knocks and waits for him to open the door.

When Harry does open the door wide enough for her to enter, she slides in quickly, skidding on her socks quickly towards the sofa and picks up her backpack.

"Where are you going?" He asks her in a not-so-sweet-tone when he notices her slipping out of the room quietly and exhales in annoyance when she doesn't reply. All he wants is a quiet-cuddle session with his girlfriend, but she just can't stop talking and acting like a child. He's been waiting all day for her to realize that he's feeling down and needy and wants her warmth. Key word: realize; for her to realize without him having told her anything, not even a damn hint.

He's an adult, he should just spit it out and set things straight in front of her, tell her what he wants but no- he feels like a child who just wants to feel understood, so when she tries to provide him some good company by simply providing him with her love, he decides that she's the one acting childish.

He has no idea why he wants to feel understood; he clearly is by the people who he loves. And that's when he realizes, he is just playing around by not telling what he wants and is getting grumpier when the person he wants doesn't read his mind.

He guesses he's the one on the bad side right now, but that doesn't make him go and run for y/n because he's in his egotistic maniac mindset right now.

So, because his girlfriend ignoring him stroke his ego really bad, he sits down on the couch and finishes the rest of the soup which seems to have gotten absolutely cold by now. But that doesn't mean it isn't affecting the weird sensation on his tongue, which had gotten burnt during the early slurps of the soup.

He starts mumbling incoherent things randomly, shit-talking about everyone else to make himself better.

When y/n's head bobs in through the door again, he's ready to not react to her dismissing him but when she silently picks up her laptop's charger and moves to exit the room again, he bursts.

"Can you not give me the silent-treatment? Maybe just act like the grownup you are and tell me what's wrong?" He picks on her, setting out the words clearly pointing towards him to refer to her. And boy does he shrink on the inside when she scoffs.

But his words continuously fall deaf on Y/n's ears, as they are flooded by the sound of her own heartbeat racing and blood pumping through her arteries while she vigorously scratches that part of her brain internally which is playing the words that spilled from his mouth accidently on repeat; to get them erased from where they seem to have also imprinted themselves.

"Just shut up, y/n!" He had shouted at her when she was in the midst of telling him about a joke on their way here- and it honestly didn't affect her as much as the words he muttered under his breath while turning away from her to face the window instead did. "Don't even know why I brought y' with me. All you've been doing is treat me like a damn child and act childish yourself."

Trust her, she was trying to keep her mind off these moments but this one just won't leave her alone.

"Harry, do you realize who the fuck is being a child right now? It's you! Cause if you really were acting like an adult, you wouldn't need me to tell you what the fuck's wrong."

But it's all a game of better comebacks now, and y/n is not going to back down.

"All you have done today is make my day shit when all I did was try to make yours better. You made me feel fucking ashamed of myself, H." She gritted out the last part, tears brimming up to her waterline again as she tries to blink them away but fails. And she can see the alarm on his face, in his eyes but she cannot give two fucks right now. Perhaps, he realized that he was being a bitch?

"Love- I... I'm so sorry." He gets up, hurrying towards y/n to enclose his arms around her and when she doesn't push him away but continues to tell him about everything he told her that hurt her, he feels a knife twisting in through his stomach. He's just disgusted by himself that he made her cry. The woman he swore to keep happy- he made her cry.

When he hugs her, y/n can't help but feel like this fight is slipping out of her fist and being pushed under the carpet because she just started crying. But maybe this actually isn't as much of a big deal she's making it out to be.

"I know I disrespected you, and I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm the one who didn't communicate properly and expected you to read my mind," he shushes her, rubbing her back as she wipes her tears away.

At least he set the things out for her to learn what's wrong after seeing her cry, so that's a win. But she shouldn't have to cry to get him to fucking set things out.

She chuckles dryly at this. "You seriously made me think that you were gonna leave me simply because you didn't feel comfortable enough to communicate with me... Also, is that supposed to make me feel better? Because it is clearly not." She says, pressing her forearms on his chest to push him away.

"Lovie- don't be so hard on me, I'm sorry! I didn't realize what I was doing and-and why would you think I'm gonna leave you? Baby that's never happening, you're seriously stuck with me now 'cause my clingy ass ain't gonna leave you, nah." He chuckles, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Her eyes light up slightly at the affirmation but her face is still looking like a carved stone right now. A smile tugs at the corner of her lips but she settles it down by rolling her lips in. "I'm not going to forgive you so easily, H. I won't make a big deal out of this. You were feeling needy and felt that it'd be childish of you to just ask for what you wanted," she stopped to catch her breath. "I may have over-thought it all a little, but it still doesn't dismiss the feeling of me hurt. So, let's get it straight," she stops again to create some suspense as she makes a mischievous eye contact with him.

"First: I'm not scratching your scalp for a week. Second: No kisses till the next show is over. Third, dare you ask me to tell you jokes and lastly, I am not humming songs to you till you sleep because I'm a kid and well, it's adults who sing kids to sleep."

"You did not just make that third rule and say that!"

She giggles as she parts to move out of the room. "Could say the same for every time you opened your mouth in front of me today, Styles."

Going over all the rules in his head, Harry just knows that he indeed truly messed up today.

[divineerdrick]

The Warhammer Preview Show: Warhammer Day 2024

I'm once again liveblogging my reaction to a Warhammer preview, and I couldn't be happier!

Why?

Because the Preview was live again!

If you've followed my Warhammer Liveblogs you know how much I hated that they moved to prerecorded live shows. And I wasn't the only one! But once again the studio has listened to the community and it looks like we've got live shows back.

This is one thing I will constantly press about Games Workshop. Being less than a billion-dollar global company, in a niche hobby, means they still have to respond to us. If we make our displeasure known for long enough, and it impacts their sales, they have to act. If even 1% of Warhammer fans don't buy the latest and greatest product that GW releases, it hurts.

It also helps that they're under UK corporate law instead of American corporate law.

And I have a feeling from some of the things I've seen on discount retailer sites, that certain big releases have been under-performing. So hopefully this is the first in some course corrections.

Give San Guard their wings back!

I'm still wondering about what's going on with how few releases have been announced for Christmas. They do seem to be pushing War of the Rohirrim more than I was expecting, so maybe they really are trying to just let releases breathe instead of smothering them. I'm wondering how Necromunda Secondus and Mechanicum performed given how they released along side Age of Sigmar 4.0.

Honestly I think that most Warhammer fans hold GW products as being the best in the market. When they start taking a downturn, we start asking why we're paying so much for them. I think GW really should go back to a slower release cadence of higher quality products. Releasing both of their major game systems back to back in essentially a beta state should not happen. There's no excuse for 10th Edition Eldar to release one summer only for 4.0 Nighthaunt to release the next. And the less said about 4.0's Regiment system the better.

All and all, I'm still really excited for this Preview. I'm not expecting too much right now, but I'm willing to be surprised. For now, just having a live Preview is enough.

Enough rambling! Onto the Preview!

Preshow

Our hosts today are veterans of the Preview shows, Alex and Nick. This was one of the first things that got me excited when I checked in on the stream after discovering WarCom was down. After some of their traditional introduction, including asking for location shout outs, Alex tells us what we've got in store. The reveals today are for Underworlds, AoS, 40K, Kill Team, and Legions. Legions in the past hasn't gotten a lot of love in these Preview shows, so I'm hoping for a little better presentation this time around.

But then Nick slyly cuts in that those are just what was announced, and we should keep our eyes pealed. I've heard some rumors already, but let's see what they actually tease for us.

Underworlds

We're starting with GW's original Skirmish game set in the Age of Sigmar. I'm still really hoping that Warcry gets some love again soon, but I'm betting Underworlds must be just slightly outperforming it.

Oh wow! So with the new edition of AoS out and the story advancing with the Vermindoom, the team has decided to release a new edition of Underworlds. And this edition looks like it will also start with a Stormcast verses Skaven box.

They're once again pushing that accessibility factor with this new edition. I will say this much, other than a few sticking points I have I don't really feel this push to accessibility has resulted in any "dumbing down" of these editions. Probably the worst offender was Kill Team 2nd, and they've undone some of that. Admittedly they pushed the worst part even more . . . Still I feel that 40K 10th and AoS 4.0 are still very tactically deep games. And that, at the end of the day, is what really matters.

And unfortunately we're probably never going to see this push to expand the audience through accessibility ever go away. Businesses in the current corporate world live and die through growth. There's only so much money GW can wring out of their current audience. There has to come a point where GW expands their audience, or investors will leave and the company will decline.

Unfortunately that's tricky to do when you also keep raising the prices of starter products.

But Underworlds has always been relatively inexpensive compared to GW's other products. It's a perfect example of creating a stepping stone into the larger hobby. Buying a board game style starter box with only a few push-fit miniatures to assemble and paint is much easier than buying and painting something like Skaventide. And GW looks to be leaning into that.

They're really throwing a lot of long looks into the miniatures and the board. Still, no matter how much time they spend here this is never as good as the bright, close-in pictures WarCom usually has later. One advantage of the Live previews is we often get to see some of those ahead of time. Hopefully Nick and Alex will focus in on some like they used to.

Here's our box reveal.

And you're making me nervous Nick. This is very similar to a lot of those prerecorded shows. Now that the reveal trailer is done I don't want to be here having someone presenting a prerecorded message on why I should want to pick this up. I want to be back in the studio, with chat, getting live impressions and active responses to questions and feedback from you and Alex. You got me excited for a live show, Nick. Don't turn this around on me.

Uh oh! It's a reset! Normally, this would have me excited. But there are two things that make me nervous here.

The first is that this game incorporates cards and deck building. If they're completely updating the rules, does that mean previous cards won't work anymore? Will we have to get new decks for any warbands we play?

The second is Kill Team. In case you didn't know, Kill Team just introduced a Standard style rotation that means that eventually your Kill Teams won't be legal in competitive play. Many classic Kill Teams already don't have rules in the new edition. Now many of those Kill Teams are still perfectly fine for casual games . . . for as long as GW writes compatible rules for them. But eventually you won't be able to play a given Kill Team without going back to a prior edition of a game. That's fine for collectors who have lots of friends going back to previous editions. But for most LGS communities, that creates a problem.

I'm guessing Underworlds will work in a similar way. I don't know if any previous Warbands will get retired, but they'll probably introduce a cut off point and then rotate out older Warbands eventually. You'll probably have to go buy a new deck for any of the older Warbands to use them in the new rules. This is all just speculation, but it's speculation based off how GW has been running their other games.

This may be a small point to some, but it's a legitimate up-sell to me. GW has gotten considerably better at creating and designing rule books. They've gotten much easier to read in recent editions of their games and much easier to use at the table. I'm hoping they continue to refine them. Also their apps have gotten better too for looking up the latest version of any given rule.

We're also going to single boards, war scrolls, and they're defining Warbands with stat systems to help you understand their play style. One thing I'm not sure of is the replacement of card art with miniature photos. I kind of liked the way the cards added some of that great GW art into the game. I'm not sure how well the various cards will depict the action if it's just still photos.

All and all the new edition looks good, but I've got questions that are going to need answered.

Back in the studio we've got some great shots of the miniatures - not sure I'm liking the sculpt around the eyes for this one - but we're not getting any community interaction yet. There's no point in these being live shows if we don't have any response to the community feedback and questions!

Hm . . . We've got them just talking over these repeating slideshows. I'd honestly prefer to just seem them sitting their and talking to each other to gauge their live reactions. And while I'll admit that this is a new edition, and there's a lot to talk about, they're kinda just going over what the presentation showed. Yes! I'm going to harp on this! I want community interaction, dammit!

Okay, here's one point answered. The starter set is going to come with four decks in it, one based on each of the now named play-styles, Strike, Take and Hold, Flex, and Mastery. These decks will be playable with any Warband. So any of the old Warbands that receives rule updates can use these decks to start with.

It looks like with other recent new editions, we'll get our first chance to see this played at a GW event. In this case it's the Tampa Open, which is next weekend! So we'll probably learn a lot about the game in the coming days.

. . .

And now we're moving into the next part of the show. No questions taken, no feedback, not even a glance at chat. I'm not happy.

Age of Sigmar

And it's just the Warhammer Day miniature. We've already seen this. It's a pretty cool looking miniature to be sure, but why are we covering it here?

My hype is draining away.

Same thing with the Darkoath. Though this looks like it might be a box set, and that means it might have some new miniatures.

Oh! While they didn't show it, this is the announcement for the Slaves to Darkness Battletome. I did miss that this box set is the Darkoath Spearhead. So this will be our first big release for AoS 4.0 following Skaventide.

We're getting a new release for a Sorcerer Lord outside of the Warhammer Day model. This one sounds like it will have a few options for it. Hopefully we'll see these on WarCom.

And here's our Battletome reveal! It sounds like they're doubling down on how little changed between the Skaven Index and Battletomes. This is potentially bad as some of the AoS armies need some real changes.

We are getting a new Army of Renown, Be'lakor's Legion of the First Prince. So hopefully that will bring something interesting for AoS players to experiment with. It's my understanding though that Regiments of Renown aren't seeing much play right now. But we can wait and see.

Speaking of! We've got a nice rules preview here of a new Regiment of Renown that can be included in any most of the god-aligned Chaos factions. The Daemon Prince gets to keep it's Gift of Chaos that it would have claimed in an S2D army and gets the relevant faction Keyword too. However, I can't imagine spending a drop on this the way AoS 4 currently plays, unless they change how drops work in the next rules update.

Battleforces

They didn't mention any universe transition, just that big boxes are on the way soon. My guess is this is our first look at the holiday boxes, which will probably included both 40K and AoS, maybe Old World if we're lucky.

These are all themed after detachments. The Tau box is obscured, but we saw it earlier in the preview, and is the Retaliation Cadre. This means that this is probably a sneaky reveal of one of the new Imperial Knight Detachments, the Valourstrike Lance. Though that sounds suspiciously like it might be a rename for the Noble Lance.

I'll note that none of these battleforces are Chaos themed. We've got three Imperial battleforces and two Xenos. But there looks like there's a lot of value in these kits. That Tau box has a Riptide in it, the Knights have a Paladin and four Armigers, the Sisters comes with two vehicles and a pair of Penitent Engines, the Necrons get the Void Dragon, and the Dark Angels get The Lion. I'm not gonna add everything up here, since I can't see exactly what everything is, but that's over $300 worth of Knights.

And just as I suspected, we immediately go into AoS boxes.

We're only getting four here, Maggotkin, Cities, Iron Jaws, and Flesh-Eaters. One for each Grand Alliance. These don't appear to be based on any Regiments or Armies. And I'm not seeing anything popping out at me for high value items.

These are indeed our holiday boxes. As with recent years, these are designed to go along with the intro boxes. So if you get a Combat Patrol or Spearhead alongside one of these, you'll have a pretty decent collection. Whether they match well with previous Battleforce launch boxes, I'd have to check. But at the very least, I know the Dark Angels one didn't have The Lion in it.

They're saying they're supposed to match Regiments in AoS. I only checked Iron Jaws, but looking through the others they also don't match any current Regiments. So these might be renames or new Regiments coming in the Battletomes.

Hah! They even just mentioned that the Cities of Sigmar force can represent different Regiments! So maybe there wasn't any actual consideration made there at all.

They also just brought up that there's duplication with the Morbheg Knights. So not so good there for the AoS portions either.

Warhammer Armoury

They tease that no one knows about this reveal yet. But it's an Officially Licensed product, so outside of games I'm not sure how much interest there will be.

Warhammer Armory! Okay, you have my attention.

Also, gee! I wonder what's about to be revealed?

There it is! Ghal Maraz! (Subject to GW's approval.)

i haven't gotten my hands on any of these, but I really want to see if I can. I just love stuff like this. If my father's business could get them to sell, we would in a heart beat.

I still have my Slayer of Kings. It's sitting right next to me. I'd honestly love to collect more stuff like this.

Legions

So we've already had Mechanicum for Legions revealed, so they're starting off by going into the lore. I guess that's one way to try to pay more respect to the specialist game. Still I'm hoping for more news for Legions.

"Now you're probably sat at home, thinking, "Games Workshop we've already seen these." It had crossed my mind, yes.

Dark Mechanicum! While they haven't shown any traitor specific models yet, the new rules will allow you to field these models in both Loyalist and Traitor forces.

But they're not keeping us waiting for long! This is the Serperos Heavy Stalker. Looks like it's a near Titanic scale model for the Dark Mechanicum. Like most of the new Mechanicum stuff, I'm totally here for this.

I'm also still hoping to see some even larger creations hitting Titanicus and Legions. Say a certain class of Titan that hasn't had an official model for a while . . .

And book reveal! This book will apparently have the rule for playing both factions. So hopefully we'll see more force specific miniatures in the future.

A Special Surprise

Something a bit more lighthearted. A feast in the field, huh? Blood Bowl? Don't they already have halflings?

40K! I know what this is! Apparently Death Korp isn't all the Guard is getting!

"Make a pie crust from compressed cardboard and fill it with a tin of Munitorum issued nutrient paste." Yummy.

I'm so here for this!

These ratlings look fantastic and have so much life and character to them! This is a fantastic addition to the Guard range!

Oh! It's a commemorative model! Boo! I want this to be a part of the main range!

Oh well. Looks like I'm picking up at least one thing for myself this year.

Kill Team

They teased more ratlings, but look at these Boyz! More proper Orky miniatures! Yes!

And there's our new ratlings! Look at the bulldog!

So I guess the next Kill Team box is Orks verse Ratlings. So much for the idea that the next team would be Storm Boyz. Specifically this is Ratling Snipers verses Tankbustas.

All of these miniatures look pretty bespoke. The ratling kit is definitely new, but that doesn't look like an upgrade sprue on the Orks either. I'm wondering if all the Kill Teams will be new kits from now on?

This Kill Team set will include a bunker terrain piece and missions for trying to defend the bunker or storm it. Sounds like a fun time.

The holiday miniature will also have a mission for trying to steal the food for their provisions. So there's another fun detail.

Hmm. New animation or game?

Bandai Namco? Guessing game.

Oh! I was wrong! It's an animated short! Looks like a free one too!

Our next preview will apparently be in November, for the Championships and Grand Narrative Campaign. I'm hoping they do a better job there.

But as the sign off, they hit us with one more teaser.

Final Thoughts

I've apparently hit my image limit, so I'm not gonna go into more details on the miniatures. But on the whole they were fantastic. Not the biggest fan of the Stormcast models for Underworlds but the Skaven models were cool. All the other new models, especially our new Kill Team set and commemorative mini look fantastic! While this Preview was light on new models, what was shown was great!

And that's all the good I have to say.

So this did definitely need to be a Preview because they were revealing the new Underworlds. But honestly, they could have made the whole show about that and I think it would have been better. The Kill Team reveals were good, but the rest was stuff that would normally just be a WarCom article. So they may as well have just dedicated it all to an Underworlds deep dive and left the Kill Team stuff for later.

And while I think this was better than the prerecorded stuff we got before, this might as well have been prerecorded. In fact I'm sure there are gonna be people who accuse this stream of being prerecorded. There was zero interaction with chat. Yeah, they asked chat to call out where they were from like they used to, but then didn't acknowledge any responses. Chat might as well have not been there, and that means this might as well not be live.

This isn't okay! And while I appreciate the nod to the old format, this was honestly something where I wanted to see designers talking about what they were doing. I don't want to hear Nick and Alex talking about the new mechanics and design ideas of Underworlds, I want to here it from the people who made the game! While I didn't like the mock interviews, there's no reason not to have the designers on there talking about what they're excited about.

Between lack of meaningful reveals and the misuse of the live format, this is still a fail. If the last review was a student handing in a print-off from Wikipedia with his name on it, this one was two guys who threw together their paper at the last minute. This will probably be my last liveblog for these. I'm certainly not gonna do another one until I see meaningful changes in the format.

[batcrooks]

THE BATCROOKS AWARDS 2023

This year, I kept track of every piece of media I consumed for the whole year. I didn't keep track of individual Youtube videos (which I watched hundreds of, they're my main background noise), but I did track every Book, Video Game, TV Show/Web Series, and Movie. Here are my BEST OF 2023 (year of release may vary).

Best Movie: Spider-man: Across the Spider-verse I only actually saw 3 new release movies this year: Spider-verse, Barbie, and The Boy and the Heron. So the competition wasn't very fierce, but I was glad to sneak Heron in there at the end just to make sure (I found it very pretty, but too nonsensical and weirdly paced.) Spider-verse was a little disappointing (toooo long) but it was definitely the funnest new movie I saw this year.

Best TV Show: Silo I saw a couple actual TV shows this year, but for pure fun had watching and theorizing, Silo wins. Is it the actual best TV of the year? Almost definitely not. But these are my awards so it wins. You can't leave the silo!!!!

Best Web Series: Game Changer Season 5 I'm not sure if I can properly justify the category difference between Silo (on Apple+) and Game Changer; both are technically web series. But I watched Silo on a TV, and it just seems more like a TV show. So I have awarded Best Web Series to Game Changer, because I like it just a little more than Make Some Noise. I also watched a lot of Dimension 20 this year for the first time, but they're not 2023. I'm being wishy washy on the category requirements lol.

Best Video Game: Baldur's Gate 3 This game was so good at one point I was playing two saves simultaneously, just for fun. I don't think I can say anything that hasn't been said about it before lol. And it was MULTIPLAYER. Sourdeer and I played this game all the way through TWICE. We finished it the first time and then spent like 4 days trying to find something else to play before deciding we just wanted to play it again, evil-style.

Best Video Game I Didn't Directly Play: The Curse of the Golden Idol A lot of (usually bad) video games I experience through "Cat Plays a Game" and its twin show "Sourdeer Plays a Game"; the hit show streaming exclusively on discord between my friends lol. Sour played this one, technically, although as an asymmetric multiplayer experience it's hard to beat. I want there to be five million games just like this one. I wish I could wipe my memory and do it again. We already devoured the DLC. There's a sequel coming out thank god.

Best Video Game I Played All By My Lonesome: Pentiment I don't tend to play a lot of single-player video games due to lack of time mostly, but this year I managed to play Pentiment, an incredible game that really played well with the weird amount of knowledge I have about the time period and setting of the game from reading The Pillars of the Earth and its sequels. It was completely engrossing and I will probably play it again some day despite its pretty slow pace. I know I can't save everyone. But maybe I can try.

Youtuber of the Year: Jenny Nicholson I rewatched a ton of her videos this year and joined her Patreon so that I could watch the huge backlog of "ramble" videos she has. There are TWO sequels to the Evermore video in there! Hours and hours of entertainment that makes me wish I could experience more weird theme parks.

Best Book(s): The Scholomance series by Naomi Novik The last one came out in September 2022 but this is a "non-reread, new to me" category, not a new release category. Novik's Temeraire series is one of my favorites of all time, and Spinning Silver is also really good, but even still I was wary to start what initially seemed like just a snarkier, edgy magical boarding school series. But the mechanics of the world-building and the characters really won me over quick, and this has ended up being another of my favorite series.

This spreadsheet has the full 2023 list if anyone wants to see/judge me/discuss video games or books: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1X7u2F_9FSvvyys5v006eQg1hIvx0bT3QuLDgy_TJasw/edit?usp=sharing

[topazadine]

Writer Questionnaire

As I prepare for the workday (sigh) I'm going to take a few minutes and hop in on the craze! Please go read @illarian-rambling's answers over here!

1. Is writing a hobby or way of life?

Way of life. Not only is my day job writing, but I spend pretty much all my free time writing my silly stories too. It's all I have ever known and all I ever do.

2. A journal full of writing notes or a clean, completed manuscript?

Clean manuscript. I double outline, meaning that I write a long, looong outline and a short outline with just the bullet points I desperately need. This keeps me from losing momentum while I'm writing because I don't feel like I've done the whole thing and don't need to write it. This sounds confusing, so let me show you what I mean. Here's the long outline for a chapter:

... and this is the short outline.

I then leave a comment on the chapter header in the actual Word document, something like "Cavalry confronts Uileac and Cerie," so I don't need to look back on the outline if I don't want to. Oh, and I do not work on WIPs simultaneously. Ever. One at a time. Can't relate to the people who say "hehe I have a million WIPs that are all half done." Like, girl, why do you think they're all half-done? Because your brain is overloaded with details for too many different plots. Jot down a note and get to it later. Otherwise all those things are going to stay half-done.

3. Who (or what) is your writing inspiration?

I started getting into fiction writing again after a long, long break because of Touken Ranbu, so we'll just say my beloved Uguisumaru.

My king .... I love you ... my darling ....

4. Which is worse: someone you "idolize" reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

Neither of those are particularly torturous to me. I guess singing.

5. Has writing from someone else's POV ever changed your own perspective?

It's very strange, but as a lesbian, I didn't really banish my own internalized homophobia until I started writing slash fic. Even in my own sapphic relationships, I always felt there was something 'wrong' about it and that our relationships weren't as valid as a straight couple. This was due to a lot of very violent homophobia imposed on me by others that made me really struggle to accept being gay. Writing about so many gay couples helped normalize it for me and feel more confident in my own sexuality. I no longer see gay couples as somehow apart from heterosexual relationships but just as deep and loving. In fact, writing stuff like the Moonbeam and Crane series was the push I needed to fully come out as a lesbian and stop pretending I was attracted to men, which is bizarre because, you know, I was writing about men banging. And then I went on to write gay longing and, eventually, a whole gay af series <3

6. Tumblr, AO3, LiveJournal, or FFN?

Archive of Our Own and Amazon :)

7. AO3 wordcount, and are you satisfied with it?

Quite satisfied with it! I did my million words of practice and then some before moving on to original fiction.

8. What movie/book/fic gripped you irrevocably?

Remainder by Tom McCarthy. It has this lulling menace about it. I loved the repetition and the incredible environmental descriptions. Another favorite is Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell, which really encouraged me to get more experimental with my work. And my all-time favorite, Moby Dick. I've read it three times and keep meaning to go back for a fourth read; every time, I find something different to love about it. I started it again a bit ago and this time, I was focusing on the relationship between Ishmael and Queequeg.

9. What’s the highest compliment you’ve ever been given, and have you been given it?

This comment by Wapato_Sprout is the one that convinced me that I was ready to start writing original fiction:

I'm not kidding: I started writing Poesy, the full-length book in the Eirenic Verses series, like one week later. Then went and started filling in the back with shorter stories lmao. Being able to write two original characters with depth, goals, and motivations that people really cared about was such a rush, especially because I'd been told before that my original characters were more plot devices than people. And this should be your reminder that your comments on fanfiction matter a LOT! You may be the push to get a writer to start taking more risks and maybe even writing their own original fiction. Around the same time, my boss randomly told me that I should do more with my writing than just crafting business emails. I like to think that was a bit of divine intervention, to get two nudges from people I respect almost simultaneously. And hey look where it's gotten me! I'm writing a seven-part series now!

10. What defines your writing style?

My background in poetry gives my prose a sense of lyricism and movement. I think about whether my prose would flow like a poem when read aloud, and I hear that rhythm in my head when I write. It also means I know when to go short and choppy, or when to use long, moving description. I would not be anywhere near the writer I am today without those years of practice.

Open tag!

(I think most of the people I would tag were tagged elsewhere lmao)

[voxofthevoid]

Hello! First, let me just — hold your hands. See, you don't need to sit on them to not ramble. I'll always welcome authors' ramblings, in fact, I crave them like a man possessed, starved. So, please don't be cruel and deny a poor soul your ramblings. With that said...

I feel as if you opened a door inside my brain when you said Gojou is holding his own leash in "every version of the story". From the snippets you've posted about the story before, I feel as if Gojou wants Yuuji to hold it, and he's desperate for that sunshine boy to do it. Sure, he's canonically very dominant, very imposing, very against people telling him what to do, but even still... Well, I think he craves just giving up some control, especially to someone he knows won't "misuse" it, even though I think he wouldn't mind if, say, Yuuji did it. An ex. of that was when he was younger and Getou was practically his moral compass.

It's sort of ironic in "every version of the story" because Gojou needs to practically tire Yuuji out by any means necessary (cough sex, isolation, questionable life experiences, etc. cough) just so he can shove said leash on Yuuji's hands so they can become "equals". After all, to have some degree of influence on the strongest is power in itself, even if the other person doesn't realise it yet. It also makes for such a compelling dynamic, which he only got glimpses of in canon.

I guess I'm the one rambling now, huh? Anyways, I just want to congratulate you on your characterization of Gojou. It's exactly on point — a delicious sort of pathetic, obsessive, sadomasochistic and unhinged —, and one of my favourites across all the Goyuu verse.

Hope you have a good weekend. <3

Ah, if you're holding my hands, then I suppose I have no choice but to type away.

Ah well!

First things first, anon, you should know that I read "From the snippets you've posted about the story before, I feel as if Gojou wants Yuuji to hold it" and went You—You Get It.

The Gojou/leash thing (in the sense of how he's the only one holding it as well as how he might want someone else to) is something that now informs my approach to him in general, though the specifics vary depending on whether I'm writing teen!Gojou, post-Toji!Gojou, or adult!Gojou. And while Gojou's strength in terms of his self-control was something I was interested in from the start, every version of the story fundamentally altered my take on the whole thing.

Characterization breakthrough: Horror edition.

(Okay, everything I've written after it has been pretty tame on the Gojou end, but you should see some of my unwritten ideas...)

Back to the point, you're right! Gojou wanting very badly for someone—someone he has the luxury of trusting with himself��to hold that leash is a pervasive undercurrent in every version of the story. He wants an equal, and Yuuji's one of the people he identified as having the potential to be one; these are canon. And I've already rambled a lot about how one of the most appealing parts of Gojou's and Yuuji's dynamics is how they humanize each other from the beginning to the end. Combine the power aspects from the former with the emotional attachment engendered by the latter, and you get a scenario rich with potential for some wildly shifting power dynamics.

You've already seen glimpses of it in the WIP Wednesday snippets, and the full fic has a lot more it. A good percentage of the storytelling happens during and through the sex, and it's a zigzagging road overall. Where we start is starkly different from where it ends, and the path there isn't kind or pretty, but I hope to god that it's interesting.

Also, I can't tell you how delighted I am by you liking Gojou's characterization in that fic, especially because "pathetic, obsessive, sadomasochistic and unhinged" encapsulate everything I was aiming for. Thank you so much 💗

And feel free to ramble in my inbox anytime; your thoughts are *chef's kiss*

Have a good day!

[seahere]

Just watched Haunted Mansion (2023) and yeah, they did good. In my opinion, at least. (SPOILERS as I ramble my thoughts. Obviously.)

Enough park canon material included to make me very happy! And best of all! We still don't know the origin of the Mansion! Ahhh! Perfect!

They have the WDW Mansion belong to Hattie (movie verse's Alistair Crump), but our classic mansion, while owned by Gracey who made a big mess with the help of Leota, still has an undefined origin.

There was an emphasis on the Captain. I do like that. He's a major hitchhiking ghost and one of the friendlier ones right away (technically). He's still left ambiguous, though. His haunts make him the Mariner, but he's anyone from Captain Gore, to Culpepper Clyne, to unnamed and forgotten captain.

I am actually a big fan of Gracey and I love his inclusion. He's the owner, or was the most notable one, at least. Not the originator of the place, but he was handed the role of "fucked up stupendously" and I love that for him. I'm speaking lightly but genuinely, this movie does show us grief in a lot of its forms and I can honestly say that I laughed and cried my way through the movie. They did very well.

So yeah, I enjoyed seeing the way they played out the cycle of grief, his desperation inviting the madness of a dark player. Hattie's origins are good by me. I only cared that he was NOT tied to Constance. The two can be diabolical ghosts but I didn't want him to be one of her victims. Big bad murderer in his own right is good with me. Love that journey for him. I do wish the cgi had been a little more...greenish and glowy. And I wish he'd been a little more playfully devious. But I was good with it. No surprise villain or unexpected twist—just ghosts we know, weaved into a tale, and real humans that worked.

I also loved the art style during Bruce's expositional talk about Alistair Crump. Like, damn, I want more of that. Deeply love it.

From cheesy to heartfelt to genuinely nice, this was a great ride. I laughed, I cried, I loved the story. I love that it was about the people. It was about genuinely difficult emotions that none of us can outrun. I love that there's a Mansion full of Happy Haunts in the end.

It didn't feel like they were rewriting or forcing a new canon. Hell, they had Bruce reference the endless crazy theories about the place. The ghost appearances came straight from existing, physical characters (love the Mummy of course). Stories like the dueling brothers and Constance already existed, and played right into the Tragic Souls after Gracey and Leota had already poisoned the Mansion through his grief.

Hatbox Ghost was the only one given an expanded backstory because the story needed an antagonist. I was good with that. Honestly the Crump Manor bit surprised and delighted me. But I also don't care if people view this as only one of many possible theories. I, personally, quite like it. I could probably ramble on this point further but I'll end it here.

Good movie. Well suited to the material. Playful, spooky, intense. I will definitely be watching it again.

[pikachugirltits]

Magic x Marvel: Idle Speculation

I have a lot of random thoughts about the upcoming Magic the Gathering x Marvel crossover, and I thought it would be neat to just ramble about them in a post, especially so I can hopefully find that post again later when the sets release and see how much I was right about. I'm just gonna bullet point this because this is kind of a stream of consciousness sort of deal:

We know that we're getting multiple "tentpole releases" a.k.a. more than one full set for this particular crossover. I'm thinking at least one is going to be a straight to Modern draftable set similar to the LotR set, but I don't think they're necessarily just doing that for all the sets. I speculate that the other (or one of the others if there's more than two) set is going to be a gimmick draft set, such as 2-Head Giant or Commander draft.

I personally am hoping one of the sets is a Commander draft set, and that our partner variant for the set goes the Stranger Things route and just creates a subset partner variant. I propose the name Team-Up, to represent the ubiquity of team up storylines in comic books. (I actually made an entire post about this but Tumblr's wonderful search function is choosing not to find it on my blog.)

Ooh, if they do go the Commander draft route they can make the Prismatic Piper equivalent a Skrull or something

I really, really want a Squirrel Girl card that makes squirrel tokens that I can jam into my Chatterfang deck. Squirrel Girl is my favorite superhero and I just want her on a card so, so badly.

I think it would be cool to have a Mjolnir equipment that in addition to its other effects also has a bit of trinket text along the lines of "equipped creature is a God in addition to its other types."

Thor and Loki and any other Asgardian that represents an actual god should have the creature type God. It already exists. Like sure, we could make Asgardian a creature type if we wanted to, but that's the coward's route.

I saw someone make a comment on Reddit about adding Hero and Villain as creature types, but I really, really hope that doesn't happen. It runs the risk of making the creature types in the set super repetitive, and we're already gonna see a lot of that from the sheer number of human characters. Sure, we'll have some mutants and aliens and robots to occasionally break things up, but it'll be much worse if the class types among cards aren't varied.

Like seriously, let's use the movie Avengers lineup. What's better...having four Human Hero cards, a God Hero, and whatever we do with the Hulk...or a Human Soldier, Human Scientist, Human Archer, Human Rogue, God Warrior, and whatever we do with the Hulk

Yeah, actually...what are we gonna do with the Hulk and related characters? In a vacuum, I would probably type the Hulk as Mutant Berserker...but for IP reasons I wouldn't be surprised if the Mutant creature type is reserved solely for characters with the X-Gene. I don't have an answer for this, just wondering...

Oh, and since I mentioned the MCU, I do want to say one thing, if they're smart they'll base the sets on the comics and not the MCU. Gives them a lot more material and characters to pull from

Booster fun treatment should lean into this and be comic book themed, but I think they would also be smart to offer some Secret Lair drops featuring alt art versions of the characters based on the MCU...if they're willing to deal with the likeness rights and whatnot.

Multiple tentpole releases does mean multiple commander precons. Some themes I could easily see them basing decks on: the Avengers, X-Men, Spider-Man/Spider-Verse, Guardians of the Galaxy+other space themed characters, a deck for a bunch of the more mystical Marvel characters probably led by Dr. Strange, S.H.I.E.L.D., A.I.M., Villains in general (from my memory Marvel doesn't really have a singular Legion of Doom type team up of its iconic villains, but I'm definitely picturing a Villains deck that tosses a bunch of iconic villains together in one deck...you could call it the Masters of Evil as a deep cut though.)

If Gambit gets a card, he should have an ability that lets you discard cards to deal damage to a target to represent Gambit throwing cards at his enemies. (This is the kind of wink at the camera stuff I love in UB products.)

Koi Boy should get a card purely because he's a canon trans man and Magic really needs some trans masc representation.

[anewkindofme]

Hiiii, no idea if you'll get this, but I've been binge reading like, ALL your Greys fics and I'm so obsessed with the way you write Jackson!! I was wondering if you had any thoughts about how the terrible trio and their parents would handle the infamous 'weed cookie episode'

I can just imagine the shenanigans and sheer PANIC

First of all, thank you!!

Second, oh, I have thought about this A LOT! I know some people say that episode isn’t true to life but as someone who has only ever eaten edibles and never smoked…I’d say it’s very on point (with a lil humor cuz it’s TV).

In the canonical episode Jackson only had a bite as Catherine stole the rest from his mouth so he really had no reaction. If I wrote it, he’d have a full one. In my verses, Jackson smoked a ton of pot in college to keep from regressing. So, his reaction wouldn’t be as bad as the other two, but I see him being like Maggie. Just rambly and spaced out. Mark (and Addie verse depending) isn’t quite sure how to handle it, because he’s not manic or anything. He just brings him home, has him sit and lets him talk…and talk…and talk until it wears down. As he nods and is like “okay, bud, sure…”

Alex strikes me as the type who claims to have done “all the drugs” in college when he smoked maybe a blunt one time. So, he’s very much what we see in the episode: wants to eat all the snacks, is acting silly and is messing around in the lab. It takes them an hour to find him as it is, sending MerDer into panic mode. Meredith has to work since half the doctors are either high/have to take care of their high loves ones, so Derek brings him home. Derek tries to get him to lay down but he won’t and keeps getting into stuff at the house. Eventually, he just lets Alex eat and tries to find productive things to do until it wears off. Meredith comes home to Alex sleeping on the couch with junk food smeared all over his face and a traumatized Derek.

Owen has the most fun. And by that I mean…he will never let April touch another cookie again in case it is an edible because he cannot go through this again. She starts off crying uncontrollably because she feels guilty that she “did drugs” and feeling all sorts of bad about herself. She slowly drifts into then being paranoid and does not trust a single thing around her, including Owen as she still thinks he’s mad at her (even though he’s said he’s not).

The group chats are a blast that night between April, Jackson and Alex exchanging memes, babbling or in April’s case, walls of text of guilt. Mark makes fun of Derek and Owen as they try to figure out how to handle their kids.

It is perhaps the longest day of their lives and not one they shall soon forget…

[goatsincrediblysillymusiccorner]

Late Night Ramble About Long Ass Songs

I think it's fair to say songs have to earn their length. At the very least, that's how I feel. If a song is 15+ minutes long, it'll likely live and/or die by its intrigue alone. If a song is 45 seconds, it better make each and every one of those seconds count.

I think a phenomenal example of a short song is Vildhjarta's "Måsstadens Nationalsång", coming in at an incredibly brief 47 seconds. This track is punchy as hell, and it only gets more satisfying the longer you listen. It presents itself in its entirety; completely identifiable and unique from the rest of the album, then it effortlessly transitions into the next song like it's nothing. It's genuinely great.

But on the other end of the spectrum, you have songs that will likely absolutely dwarf the others in your playlist with their sheer size. It can be a bit intimidating when you go to check out a new album you've never heard and all of the tracks are upwards of 10 minutes. That is a lot of time to dedicate to the same artist—especially if you have other things you want to do with your time. But, man, the musicians that pull it off really hit it out of the park for me.

I fuckin' love long songs. For me, they're some of the most replayable tracks in any given artist's discography. Obviously, that's just personal taste. It doesn't necessarily mean that I inherently prefer one style over the other, but I do find myself gravitating towards a lot of bands who, indeed, do this.

If I had to summarize what was so appealing about it to me personally, I would say listening to a long track is akin to reading an engaging story. They share a lot more in common than you might think: consistent theming, a lot of them actively tell a story of some kind (especially if it's a concept album LOL), the contrasting usage of high points juxtaposed against dulcet lows, they typically feature a climax somewhere ... it all kind of fits into a similar shape. Told through a completely different medium, sure, but the appeal is identical to me at least.

Take Opeth's titular "Blackwater Park". This track comes in at 12 minutes, 8 seconds.

The entire song is a perfect blend of everything that makes the album so phenomenal. The first two minutes are spent building expectation. Those deep, tridgy guitar riffs completely immerse you inside this garden-esque soundscape of pure atmosphere and progressive death metal beauty. When the growls are finally added to the mix the sound becomes full and complete; but it's shortlived as we're soon thrown backwards into another heavenly verse, devoid now of both vocals and distortion. It's different, but you know it's still Opeth. After this abrupt switch-up, you're constantly left on edge, wondering what could be next. Every little decision has a payoff. I genuinely think this song is one of the finest masterpieces in death metal history. And I think without all of this room to breathe, it likely wouldn't have been.

Another one I instantly think of when it comes to long songs is Periphery's "Reptile". It's quite the monster of a track, boasting an impressive 16 minutes and 43 seconds.

Honestly, I've listened to this song hundreds of times and it still flies by like an instant. I don't even feel time pass when I'm listening to it. This is one of those songs where, if someone asks where to start with Periphery, I recommend it immediately. It showcases virtually everything that makes their music appealing to me. When it wants to hit hard, it hits hard. When it wants to build atmosphere, you better believe it's going to have the best payoff it physically could have had. Spencer's screams and powerful cleans are showcased in crystalline clarity, as are Misha's incredible compositional abilities and absolutely absurd technicality. Matt's drumming is the icing on the cake; matching the mood and tone of any musical scene it needs to. I could go on and on. It's a nearly 17-minute-long flex of a song where every moment is just as exciting as the last.

But that's my ramble over. I've recently been listening to this band called "Haken", and wouldn't you know, the song that got me initially interested in their stuff was long as fuck. And it was awesome. You should check it out.

[mrswinnie04]

"Keep on Ramblin"--A Ballad of Jensen and Jared's Epic Love Story

Hey Everybody :)

Before I jump into my next blog post, I just wanted to start with a little something. I know I don't have a large audience, but I want it to be known that I respect all ships. I respect all points-of-views. I don't have to be a shipper, or an adamant supporter of your ship, but I believe that everyone has a right to their own beliefs, likes, and dislikes.

On my blog page, I always welcome differing POV's, opinions, and beliefs. I will never shun them, shut them down, or turn them away. However, I hope it will be done in a respectful manner, one that also respects my right to my own beliefs and opinions. I understand that my beliefs and opinions on J2's relationship isn't everyone's cup-of-tea, however, it is my hope that we will ALL treat each other with the same amount of respect.

Thank you! :)

I apologize for sidetracking! Back to the main meat of my post:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today's Topic!

Drum Roll please.....

Keep on Ramblin', A Ballad of Jensen and Jared's Epic Love Story!!!

First off, if you haven't listened to Jensen and the Radio Company's song Keep on Ramblin', then walk... no, SPRINT and go do that when you have the chance because dear lord, it is AMAZING! The number of times I have listened to the song is just absurd, but it's so beautiful, and I'm totally being a fangirl right now, but who cares? I think a lot of us on here are fangirls LOL.

Anyway, Storytime, for those of you reading this:

A few days ago, I discovered the song as well as Jensen's band: Radio Company (and I'm so proud of him for chasing his dreams with music! Look at him go!). As I was listening to the song (for the 100th time), I couldn't shake the fact that Keep on Ramblin' is sooooo a Ballad to Jared-freaking-Padalecki.

Now, I know, I know, ya'll must be thinking what I'm getting on about, but fret not, I will explain myself to you because what doesn't scream forbidden love or loving someone through personal troubles like J2?

Let's start with the basic definition of what it means when a person is rambling (the definition that matches the version of rambling within Jensen's song):

Someone who is "...wandering from one place to another" (Merriam-Webster).

Usually, this is used for someone who does not have a final destination. Someone who is searching for something/someone/some purpose. For us tinhatters, we know who that purpose is ;)

Keep this definition in mind.

VERSE ONE:

"Left town again for no reason/Hit the floor and I was away"

-Jensen establishes within the first line that he is a wanderer. He is searching for his purpose. His version of home. Most wanderers aren't satisfied with what they have, often leading them to go out into the world. To wander until they find what they are looking for. For Jensen and us tinhatters, this shows that he's constantly searching for a permeant home. A time/place when he can finally be with Jared. For real. No more hiding. No more faking. No more bearding.

-Within his second line, Jensen shows his eagerness to continue wandering. To continue searching for that time when he and Jared can finally and officially call each other home. Until then, until J2 can shed the pressures of the world, the industry, and PR, they will forever be wandering, lost as they seek out a time when they can finally be together.

"Nothing wrong 'bout how I'm livin'..."

-Jensen states that he knows in his heart, regardless of what the world/PR/the industry says about same-sex relationships, Jensen knows there's nothing wrong with loving Jared. With wanting to be with Jared. Jensen has always been a man who follows his heart, and in his this line, it's always struck me as him saying that he knows it's not wrong to listen/follow his heart when it comes to Jared.

"I know how long here I can lay..."

-However, to contrast the line before, this line seems to show that Jensen (knowing that it's okay to love Jared) also knows that he can't love Jared aloud. Jensen knows that there is a time-limit to how long he can be around Jared and how much exposure the two can have together. Jensen establishes that there is an obvious restraint.

PRE-CHORUS:

"Time is only/ Passing if you think of it that way..."

-This line feels like Jensen is speaking directly to Jared. To me, it felt like Jensen was trying to calm J2's anxieties that their time together is slipping away. I mean, think about it? J2 have spent years potentially "bearding", faking their lives, and yearning for one another. As the years pass, there has been little to no progress in terms of their freedom from this cage that they're in. Jensen's line above is almost like him telling Jared to think of the positive, and not let the idea of a clock ticking away deter the fact that they love one another. I don't know either of the boys personally, and I won't ever claim to, but I feel like between the two, Jared would probably be the one with heightened anxieties. Thus, this line is Jensen calming those anxieties.

"This life of crime is lonely/But only if you let it in to stay"

-Much like the line above, Jensen is speaking directly to Jared again.

-This life of crime? This can be interpreted towards the way many people still view same-sex marriages in a negative light. It can be interpretated as the way some forms of love are viewed as "scandalous" or acts of "crime" by those who are discriminative, conservative, or grew up with "old-fashioned views".

[Take George Michael's song Father Figure, for example. George, a once closeted straight singer, sings the lines "But sometimes love can be mistaken/for a crime" to refer to the fact that his homosexuality would be considered a crime during this time. This reminded me a lot of Jensen's line in his song.]

-In these two lines of Keep on Ramblin', I feel as though Jensen is telling Jared that even though their chosen paths of "bearding" and being away from each other due to the pressures/views on their love, Jensen is telling Jared that he isn't truly lonely. That, at the end of the day, they have one another. That Jared shouldn't let the loneliness of being away from each other/not being together stay within his mind/mindset.

VERSE TWO:

"Headed southbound for the season"

-Um? What's South of Austin? SAN ANTONIO!!!

Guess who grew up there? That's right! Jared Padalecki!

Coincidence? I think notttttttt!

"Cut a trail no one would know"

-Jensen's true life "path" or "trail" is not what is seen by the public eye. As he's stated in many interviews, Jensen is a very private person, thus, his true life path is not what he presents to the public. His love/relationship with Jared is his true life path, and it's something that not many know about.

-Also, this can be interpreted as Jensen secretly going/being with Jared when people think he's with his family or elsewhere.

"to hell I ride before I give in"

-The road to hell isn't a smooth one. It's turbulent, and comes with obstacle after obstacle. And I think in this line, Jensen is talking about the fact that him and Jared will have to go through so much pain, sorrow, and longing before they will ever be able to give up on this whole façade they have put on.

-This line always breaks my heart because I feel like Jensen is pouring his heart out about how painful this road has really been for him and Jared. I mean, can you imagine not being with the love of your life? Being forced to be with another when all you want is the man standing in front of you?

"With the cavalry in tow"

-He's on the rode to hell with the Paparazzi, PR, and the pressures of the industry/the world in tow. This just shows the weight that lays upon his shoulders.

BRIDGE:

"Pushing flat out for my freedom"

-Jensen just wants his freedom. To shed the weight of PR, media, and the pressures of the world. He just wants to be free. He just wants to be with Jared.

"Left 'em all a tale to tell, do tell"

-This one can mean a ton of things, but, for me, it has two meanings:

ONE---Jensen alludes to the idea that he's left the world to tell a tale of his façade life. He's put on a show of his "marriage" and his home life, when the world really doesn't know the full story.

TWO----I also think this line is an easter-egg for us tinhatters as well. Jensen's almost saying that he's dropped hints at J2 for us, and, even though he can't ever admit to his love for Jared, he's left us a tale to tell about J2. My heart....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, yeah, those were some of my tinhatter thoughts on the song. And, whether or not the song really is about J2, I will ALWAYS be a supporter of Jensen and his passion.

Go him for chasing his dreams!

[cousticks]

If given the chance to live, what personality do you think Chuuya's clone would have had?

Gosh. Poor dear clone boy didn't get much of a chance to have one of those, did he. I probably go off topic a couple times, but I promise speculation on his personality is actually in here somewhere.

So. I don't trust a word out of N's mouth at any point in time. He's a horribly unethical scientist and even worse father figure but he does seem to be a relatively decent liar. This is the only decent thing about him.

That being said, if N were to be believed, then the boy in the coin-flipping video demonstrating a self-contained singularity is poor Cloney.

Quoting N's words:

"The owner of the self-contradicting skill. Other than his skill, he was an ordinary boy born in a hot spring district in the San'in region. This special vessel was calibrated so he wouldn't be crushed by the singularity's gravity. That's the only reason why he's still alive."

Looking back at the scene of the coin video, we don't really see much of the boy himself.

Someone was twirling the coin between their fingers. They were young fingers, but everything past their arm was off camera, so it was impossible to see who exactly the person was. They were, however, speaking in an almost singsong manner.

Whoever's in the video recites a couple verses of Upon The Tainted Sorrow. Not the activation verse we know, though.

Someone was holding a glittering coin in the center of the screen, but the camera was too far away to make out their face. The only thing discernible was how oddly spacious the concrete chamber was.

The video is obscured. We can't confirm or deny if it was Cloney in the video, we only know that he's young. But for the sake of speculation, let's say he is. To rule out the idea that it might be Chuuya in the video for the sake of narrowing down options: Chuuya had residual memory, or at least recognition, upon walking into Research Facility B, as its layout is similar to Research Facility A, aka what is now Suribachi City. He's got a pattern of that--seeing snippets of his true past having to do with the Arahabaki program, and it sparking his memory. He didn't do that when watching the coin video, so I'm just going to assume that whoever it was, it wasn't him. It would be off pattern for him.

I have one more quote to pull before rambling about what Cloney could have been like. Unfortunately it's the bit where he dies, but y'know, I only have so many scenes to pick from.

His face was no different than Chuuya's, but his eyes were a little kinder and much feebler. The boy grabbed Chuuya, his gaze pleading. He opened his mouth as if to say something. His lungs filled with puff of air. And that was it. His life had come to an end.

That's the part that really gnaws at me. His eyes were a little kinder. Assuming this is the same boy that has been a living experiment used to create an advanced version of himself (or having been created) and really only knowing dangerous experiments or a murky tube for going on 16 years now, seeing kindness in his eyes is almost baffling. You'd expect him to be kicking and screaming against anyone coming near him, probably. Or some kind of resignation, maybe. But he spent his last breath trying to communicate.

If he'd made it out of Facility B, I like to think he'd have been a hopeful sort. He probably wouldn't have been very well, though. The coin video scene notes the subject (Cloney) going into cardiac arrest. And surviving that comes with a lot of complications (unless the facility had some kind of healing ability on hand, but I'm calling that a 50/50 shot at best. The kindest thing I can imagine is trying to design transferable healing abilities in a similar way to how ability weapons were produced, but that may be too optimistic.) If I ignore the physical complications, there's extremely high rates of depression and anxiety after surviving cardiac arrest, which would probably be made worse by Cloney's living conditions for the last several years.

Verlaine is a bad example of how any reasonable person acts, but one thing pretty understandable is his distrust and paranoia of pretty much everything. And arguably, Verlaine has the most similar background to Cloney. So lets borrow some Verlaine traits, too, maybe.

And the fact that in the video, he spent most of the time flipping a coin. Young Cloney probably thought he was so cool like some movie character. I think his coin flipping is kind of similar to Chuuya's bit in Fifteen asking for hard rock music while he beats people up. They're both losers that wanna be action heroes at heart, to me.

It might manifest differently, but I like to think from his final scene that he got a lot of Chuuya's resilience (y'know, the kind that Verlaine really lacked.) I think coming out of the lab he'd be a very troubled boy, but really that would make him fit right in with the cast around him. But still trying to make the best of things. I think he'd like bad action movies. I think he'd be a little claustrophobic, a little afraid of the dark, but adverse to big empty rooms too. I think he'd like being around people. I don't think he'd want to join the Port Mafia, and he'd definitely steer clear of the Special Abilities Department. So of our major Yokohama-based organizations, the best place for him would be the Agency... but I don't think he'd want to be there either. I don't think he'd want anything to do with any ability based organizations at all, really. I kind of doubt he'd be up to learning any coin tricks after what happened the last time, but that idle hand habit never really goes away. Maybe he'd pick up cool methods of shuffling cards and end up working as a dealer at the Sky Casino or something weird like that. I don't know, really. We only have one scene we know is Cloney, and some speculation, but I think he'd have a few traits similar to Chuuya, but maybe without some of his aggression. I think he'd have a few traits similar to Verlaine, too. And every character that struggles with humanity struggles with it in a different way, and I'm sure he'd be no exception to that. Lots of issues and problems, but I think he'd be the kind to just want to move on. I think Kenji would fix him.