#i'm queueing things
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is that piece of media actually bad, or is it just not following the blueprint you projected onto it? is that work actually not good, or are you just demanding something from it that is absolutely antithetical to its themes, genre, tone, and narrative goal? is that story actually poorly written, or do you just dislike that it is not the specific things you wanted from it that it never set out to be, never was, and never is going to become? is it actually bad, or is it actually well-executed and you just dislike the story it chose to be because it isn't catering to your specific desires and expectations?
#This was prompted by a specific thing but it is also about dozens and dozens of things#Former Prime Queue-sector of the Trust#ETA: now that it's been months and this is going around again while certain conversations happen in other fandoms I'm in#It's good to clarify what specifically set off this post even tho it applies to many things. But this was about someone#saying Midst is thematically and narratively incoherent bc it wasn't “everyone is miserable forever and nobody gets better” like they wante
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Gentle reminder that very little fandom labor is automated, because I think people forget that a lot.
That blog with a tagging system you love? A person curates those tags by hand.
That rec blog with a great organization scheme and pretty graphics? Someone designed and implemented that organization scheme and made those graphics.
That network that posts a cool variety of stuff? People track down all that variety and queue it by hand, and other people made all the individual pieces.
That post with umpteen links to helpful resources, and information about them? Someone gathered those links, researched the sources, wrote up the information about them.
That graphic about fandom statistics? Someone compiled those statistics, analyzed them, organized them, figured out a useful way to convey the information to others, and made the post.
That event that you think looks neat? Someone wrote the rules, created the blogs and Discords, designed the graphics, did their best to promo the event so it'd succeed.
None of this was done automatically. None of it just appears whole out of the internet ether.
I think everyone realizes that fic writing and fanart creation are work, and at least some folks have got it through their heads that gif creation and graphics and moodboards take effort, and meta is usually respected for the effort that goes into it, at least as far as I've seen, but I feel like a lot of people don't really get how much labor goes into curation, too.
If people are creating resources, curating content, organizing the creations of others, gathering information, and doing other fandom activities that aren't necessarily the direct action of creation, they're doing a lot of fandom labor, and it's often largely unrecognized.
Celebrate fan work!
To folks doing this kind of labor: I see you, and I thank you. You are the backbones of our fandoms and I love you.
#unforth rambles#this wasn't really prompted by anything#I'm just sick and tired and distractable#or i should say it wasn't prompted by anything recent or that happened now#like no one has disrespected me#but as i hit the point that it's regularly taking me an hour plus every single day to queue things for the danmei art blogs#i just think of all the times people go WAIT YOU RUN ALL OF THOSE??? BY YOURSELF???#like i just don't think a lot of people realize how much work it is to really do background fandom labor long term#and i appreciate places like rec blogs and networks and events and just everyone#y'all are awesome#thank you so much
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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spanish jackie has the best lines, including:
"my noses!" (i quote this on the daily)
calling stede the genital pirate
her flirting with any person she finds remotely attractive
"so you're spanish jackie?" "yeah" "are you spanish?" "no" "then why do they call you spanish jackie?" "i don't know!"
"why are you dressed like a dirty ass orphan?"
"he fucks like a jackhammer"
and many many more
#she has the best lines AND the best delivery#i always look forward to spanish jackie scenes <33#ofmd#ofmd s2#ofmd spoilers#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd season 2#ofmd 2#our flag means death spoilers#ofmd season 2 spoilers#spanish jackie#ofmd spanish jackie#spanish jackie ofmd#starrywangxian#you queue fine things well#1k#2k#first time i'm tagging these let's gooo#glad to know everyone shares my love for jackie <333
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#tbh George's hatred of yoko is a little overblown given that they got along later in life#and Paul credits George with convincing him to forgive her (though I'm not sure for what?)#but there was a hot minute there where holy shit he did not have nice things to say about yoko lmao#I mean I get it they all hated her at first#but vehemently hating someone bc you have so much repressed rage it feels good to see your friend get sad/mad when you hate on his wife#is 100% post-catholic culture#it's a level of passive aggression and emotional repression and indirection that normal people couldn't even comprehend#and then you wake up years later like “wait maybe that wasn't entirely about her"#but by then it's usually too late#george harrison#the beatles#op#beatles meme#shitpost#queue
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You know what, while I'm doing hot takes. And this one may be obvious considering I'm actively contributing to hosting the Solarpunk Aesthetic Week event but like.
Dear everyone who's constantly deriding the aesthetic portions of the solarpunk movement/genre; do you just not understand that being able to visualize the future you want is immensely important to being able to work towards it? Being able to get other people on board with it?
When I first got interested in Solarpunk, it wasn't for the hot leftist takes about the top ways to dismantle the government for the people, or top tips on how to build your own solar panel apparatuses. What brought me in? Visions of a hopeful future. I learned and began to love the rest as I dove deeper into solarpunk circles, but there is no denying that my first intro to it--and likely many people's first intro to it--was via the art and aesthetic spheres. The term 'solarpunk' was literally coined to refer to the aesthetic movement, and we've been building up from there ever since.
'When are people going to realize the aesthetic parts don't matter and what really matters is praxis--' dude, the aesthetic parts do matter. Inspiring people does matter. Showing people visions of a hopeful future is immensely important, it's why so many people join this movement. We see glimpses of what a hopeful future could look like, through beautiful art or riveting stories, we're inspired by things like stained glass and organic designs and statues and fashion concepts--and then we think to ourselves 'how can we help make this future happen?' And we learn the praxis and we work towards the goals and we share it with others because that's just how we work.
Seeing isn't always believing, but sometimes in order to believe in something with your whole heart, it helps to be able to visualize what you want. For yourself and for others.
So yes. The aesthetic parts of solarpunk do matter. Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.
#solarpunk#out of queue#ani rambles#honestly in my opinion if the younger me saw posts saying shit like 'the aesthetic part of solarpunk is stupid and unimportant'#that would have chased me away more than anything.#A movement like this? the last thing we want is to chase people away! We want people to get excited!#We want people to get on board eagerly and wholeheartedly!#Yes I'm sure some people got into solarpunk praxis-first aesthetic-later (or maybe even aesthetic-never)#But that's no reason to deride the people who got in here aesthetic-first praxis-later#solarpunk is beautiful BECAUSE there's so many ways to learn about it and visualize it#anyways everyone get hype about solarpunk aesthetic week a month from now!!!#honestly might delete later who knows
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plzzzzzZZZ draw super tall kanaya
Dave is there to do the Midwestern Dad Looking At Bad Weather pose & snap selfies.
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#rose lalonde#dave strider#kanaya maryam#ART TAG#this is technically but not really but also kind of stealth so i'll tag it for the homies#sfw gt#i think that extra extra extra large kanaya is what we all need in these trying times#tori from the future here. i've had this thing in my queue ALL day because i don't want to get in the habit#of posting my art @ times when i ought to be in bed#but i'm tired of waiting because kanaya looks WAY too cute in this so
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Zedaph: I'm supposing... Impulse doesn't have any sponges. To steal.
Skizz: I don't think he does... I think Tango has all those.
Zedaph: Oh! Oh, if Tango's got some to steal, brilliant.
Skizz: Dude, have you ever been in his house?
Zedaph: Um, like every day.
Skizz: Bro, you can't- Y- *begins to laugh* Are you? What're you doing in his house?
Zedaph: Well! Stealing!
#hermitcraft#zedaph#skizzleman#a quote#I love them your honor. zed and skizz need to hang out more#this was from zed's 'funny flying foxes with skizzleman! uncut edition' on his second channel#timestamp around minute 50#mod rhys#which I am now! which is cool!#I submitted a whole bunch of things I'm gonna retype up and queue
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Mitosis my beloved ❤️
(doodles below and concepts under cut)
They are like an emulsion of two substances that do not mix together, but they can melt in one another while still not having dna stirring together. I think I'm picturing something like liquid mercury that can be divided into smaller portions and reunited.
They can immerse themselves in and emerge out of the other's body. When they're conjoined they can also disproportionate themselves. Tyler is the one more comfortable with disproportion, and he's also the one that resides into narrator almost everytime. Narrator, on the other hand, still doesn't feel like letting Tyler be the one moving both of them.
I thought about Tyler developing as an extension to narrator later in his life (not an alter anymore, he considers him a parasite at first).
Oh also they can completely separate, but that requires consent from both of them, so does the reconnection in which they also decide who is the one that stays out and who is the one melted inside.
#fight club#fight club 1999#soapshipping#artists on tumblr#the narrator fight club#tyler durden#this shit is my brain eating amoeba y'all don't get how fixed I am with this#don't ask me how does this even work in the first place I have no explanation aside from I'm having fun#narrator falling down like that is my favorite thing#wish I had someone scratching my brain also#martyryo#queue
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I usually don't post things from my journal but then again those usually aren't those two cutie pies ;P
#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#wolverine#logan howlett#deadpool#wade wilson#wade's ears and tail are actually in shimmery watercolor#pity it doesn't show on photo :<#but anyway#hello wolvie#congrats on joining the petvengers crew ;P#petvengers#and also I've noticed that the queue of archival posts has run out >.<#i'm sorry i'll try to add more things there in few days
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Small indie artists in need of support for moving out by September!
💜 These lovely folks [@QuinsCurse (they/them) & @sswitchblade03 (xe/xem and he/him)] are part of a small queer-owned Youtube community I'm in. 💖
💖 If you could lend a helping hand by reblogging & queueing this post up until the start of September, I'd greatly appreciate it & I'm sure these fine folks would too! 💜
⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️
"Hi everyone! Requests are officially closed as I am opening emergency commissions! Please consider supporting me as we are getting kicked out and have managed to find a place that’s affordable but need to save up 5k by the end of the month! Anything helps! I also have a dontations page if you are willing to help do that! All the money received from commissions will be going to the deposit! https://ko-fi.com/quinscurse/commissions https://ko-fi.com/quinscurse/goal?g=32"
⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️
"https://ko-fi.com/sswitchblade03/commissions https://ko-fi.com/sswitchblade03/goal?g=0 EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS!! My roommate @QuinsCurseand I are needing about $5000CAD for a down payment on a new place as we need to be out of our current place by September! Every bit counts! My goal is to be set to $3000CAD. I will draw anything (coloured and rendered) for $5 CAD each! If you are willing to give more it will be appreciated. Examples of my work below!"
⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️
#I tried to replicate the youtube posts to the best of my ability#text is in alt descriptions as well as the post itself because idk how to navigate tumblr in this way for these uses#couldn't get the images from yt itself without it messing up the formatting so hope this is good enough <3#I just went to one of the pages itself to find the closest possible images I could that looked like the ones on the original post#highlighted the links on the 2nd part though to make it easier to find the links in the post#the pronouns listed are accurate as of time of posting for those who see this post in the future; just so you're aware; go check if you wan#I have on idea what mutual aid tags are okay in our increasingly worsening internet of 2024 so I'm just gonna not tag it & queue a bunch#I just said I would post it; idk currency conversion or anything of that sort; this is my first time doing something like this so apologies#if it's not up to par with expectations#mine#op#indie artist#yknow what for the sake of not having people block my post tags; ill add a unique tag for this sort of thing#roses campaigns#FILTER THIS PREVIOUS TAG IF YOU FEEL IT NECESSARY; ill try to remember to use it when stuff like this comes up
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i'm mainly curious about how ppl manage their personal tag but if you do different things for source blogs, feel free to explain in the tags!
#polls#tuserpris#usergiu#userfaiths#fourteenthofaugust#userzaynab#tuserjen#userfern#usershale#singinprincess#userhallie#userbuckleys#userfanni#userzal#usersvnset#userbunneis#i try to check my tracked tag daily and add posts to my queue#then i move posts i'm tagged in to to the top of my queue#b/c my queue usually has 100+ posts in it#and i prefer to prioritize posts i'm tagged in#tumblr things#my polls
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some shiny Pokemon are really funny in-universe when you think about it. "oh sure, you caught a dead kid, but MY dead kid is a special color"
#pokemon#pkmn#shiny pokemon#phantump#outdesign posts things#there's a specific reason I'm posting about shiny phantump which will be revealed when the queue goes off later#greatest hits
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Are you gonna tell me
I fully failed to queue all those artfight posts?
So I’ve just been SILENT for like a whole month again???
ouuughhh I'm perfectly normal about this.
#I'm gonna have to sort this out when I'm back from work#screaming throwing up crying#tumbl I swear#I knew I was gonna be busy in august so I thought#Let’s be smart! Let’s queue a bunch of lovely artfights for all of you#I thought – ‘I’m gonna get such a good grade in tumblr’#-a thing that’s normal to want and possible to achieve#ououghhghgh#apologies for the upcoming spam#I’m Daijoubu#(also this is perhaps the worst reaction image I’ve ever made)
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Past Astarion Meets His Future
This is a weird ass idea, but I'm doing it anyway. Some time travel fuckery. But the gist is: What if Astarion, decades before the Mind-flayers captured him, was on his last leg? Just on the verge of doing, what was at the time, his only way out. But what if something a little unworldly stopped him?
TW: Suicidal thoughts. M/F, me phoning it in with the dnd lore, Cazador is evil. Like, torture, physically and mentally, manipulation, literal horror shit. He's here so bad things happen to randos and our poor guy. I'm also using this as the backstory again for why Astarion can be in the sun in the future because it's so god damned convenient for drabbles.
~
Astarion watched the crowded bar with focused eyes, a feigned, relaxed smirk on his lips. But even with the acting, he could feel the smile on his face start to tremble, a tell-tale sign that he was truly on his last leg. It had been a long, horrible night, one that had no end in sight. Cazador was in rare form, demanding multiple warm bodies in the span of less than five hours. Astarion wasn't sure what had angered him this time, but he was taking it on the victims in a particularly savage way.
Twice already he had forced Astarion to stay in the room with the poor souls he'd brought back. And then Cazador... made him watch what he did to them. The monster truly had a knack for keeping them alive until the last possible moment. Beating them, assaulting them, laughing at their cries for help. He drank from them last, feasting on their blood until they were just on the edge of death before tossing to them ground. Then Astarion was dismissed with the order to find another.
He hated it. It was the worst part of his nights by far, not including when he was the one being tortured in their place. It didn't help that he always looked at their faces, full of terror and betrayal.
Why did he always have to look? It was a question he knew the answer to. It was because he did that to them. Perhaps not literally, but what was the difference? Astarion had led them straight into his hands.
That was all he did. His entire existence had been reduced to this. A slave, a rat, scuttling through the streets, only capable of inflicting the same torment on strangers. It was a hell that no one should experience, and one that Astarion had been in for nearly 130 years.
How could he continue like this? What was the point? He'd spent so long living on pure survival instinct, waiting for the impossible day where luck would be on his side. Where Cazador would kill the wrong stranger, where the possibility of his murder could become a reality. It was delusional, a poor excuse to continue clinging to this farce of a life.
But there was another option. There always had been. All he needs to do is wander off and wait for the sun to rise, and everything could finally be over. It's far from the first time he's thought about it. But Astarion is nothing but a coward. He'd seen the pure pain and misery of a death of that nature, your insides boiling from within as your skin turned to dust. It was horrifying, one of the worst ways someone could go. And yet... it was starting to seem like the only reasonable option he had left.
Maybe... maybe today would be the day, the first time he'd seen the sun in decades. And the last time he'd ever take a breath.
"Are you alone?" A voice asked, followed by a gentle touch to his arm.
Astarion turned, that same shallow smile instantly reappearing on his face. It was a man, one that was handsome enough for Astarion to probably not feel completely sick during the deed. Then again... he could always ignore them and go back to his final plan.
Or he could wait it out one more day, and pray for a miracle. Astarion nodded towards him, still slightly torn but willing to at least try. It's not like he could go home empty handed if things turned out that way.
"Come to my room?"
Well this was certainly easy. Astarion didn't even have to take the energy to bite out a subpar pick up line. He just followed the man to his room, a plan forming in his head on how he could convince him back to the manor. Not to mention his own escape if he turned out to have less than savory intentions.
The stranger shut the door behind him, sitting on the side of his bed with his hands folded in his lap, his eyes staring straight ahead. Astarion barely stopped himself from rolling his own. Great. A weirdo. What a lovely way to end the night, spending it seducing a complete freak. But Astarion had dealt with worse. He perched next to him, crossing his legs as he waited to see where this would go.
"I can see it," He finally said, his voice gravelly as he turned to stare at Astarion.
Astarion raised his brow, wondering for the first time if this particular prey had been partaking in some mind altering substances, "And what exactly are you seeing?"
"You."
Suddenly, the man was wrapping a tight hand around Astarion's wrist, his eyes shining with an unnatural green light, "You're close to the edge. Too close. My lord needs you breathing."
Astarion froze, equally parts horrified and confused at what he was alluding to. How on earth did he know his thoughts? What lord? Or the more likely reality; How wasted could one person be?
Astarion tried to pull back, frowning when he realized the grip on his wrist was iron-clad. He could feel a bit of panic start to swell inside him as he struggled, his voice rising, "I have no idea what you're talking about. Let go of me-"
"You must live," He said, the color of his eyes only getting brighter and brighter, near twin flames in the darkness of the room, "There is no other way. Kelemvor has work for you yet."
His confusion was quickly evaporating into rage. He didn't know what this thing wanted from him, nor why the god of death would have any interest in his life. But how dare he insist on Astarion's pathetic existence having meaning. He knew nothing.
His mask was slipping, his righteous anger spilling forth, "Let go. Before I rip your fucking arm off."
But he made no moves to back down. Instead he started to chant, an incantation that had Astarion officially panicking. Whatever magic he was using, it was powerful. Reality was shifting right beneath Astarion's feet, morphing into something different. The next thing he knew they were somewhere else entirely, his reality melting into something new right before his eyes.
The entire thing was so shocking that Astarion didn't even realize he was seeing sunlight. Without a single pain. He frantically looked around, the insane stranger's grip finally loosening as he twisted away. They were on a couch, in the middle of what looked like a brightly lit townhouse, voices spilling out of the other room.
Astarion stood quickly, a hiss escaping him, "Where in the hells are we?"
"Nowhere," The man said cryptically, his eyes still aflame, "Neither the present of the future. We are in nothing but a glimpse, taken and made for you."
That did nothing to answer his question. But it did make his mind go into more reasonable directions. This had to be an illusion, there was no other explanation for why he wasn't being burned alive. But an illusion of what? And for what purpose?
Astarion pinched the bridge of his nose, at a complete loss at what to do. He could try and kill him and pray that that would break the spell. But there was also the chance that he wouldn't live through an altercation with someone who could warp his senses so easily. Or perhaps this whole thing was a nightmare, a horrifying dream he'd cooked up after a night in the torture chamber.
Still at a loss, he settled on asking another question, "Then what is this a glimpse of?"
"Home," The man said simply before slipping off the couch. The cryptic bastard.
He started walking towards the next room towards the unknown voices; Astarion feeling helpless but to follow.
He lingered at the entryway, his eyes widening at the sight of a woman standing there, cooing at a teary-eyed child she had on her hip. They were right in her line of sight, but she had no reaction to their presence, instead calling out into the other room, "Did you find it yet?"
Another voice called back, oddly familiar as it groaned, "If I had, would I still be on my hands and knees here?"
Astarion stepped forward, more than ready to see if he could enlist the help of strangers for his predicament.
"They can not perceive us," The stranger said, interrupting the call for help that was on the tip of Astarion's tongue, "They are not real. Merely copies of what is, what will be."
"Lovely," Astarion growled out, his fingers itching to fight back against this demon of a man, "Now what in the gods' names does this have to do with me?"
"Watch and you will see," He said, his eyes blazing straight ahead, "The Lord of Death works in mysterious ways."
Astarion's theory of this being a torture-induced dream was becoming more and more believable. He didn't even bother questioning it, not when one more inane answer would send him into a tailspin. Instead he stared ahead, waiting for the moment he would wake up.
The baby was still squirming. Annoying whining sounds spilling from its lips, nearly on the edge of crying. But the woman still had a bright smile on her face, calling back "I told you we should have looked for it last night!"
"Well when she threw it across the room I assumed that meant it had fallen out of favor!" That same familiar voice yelled back, followed by an excited ah-ha! sound.
"Isabella's gonna have a fit, isn't she?" The woman sing-songed, bouncing the child on her hip, "I guess Mommy's going to have to let you start sucking on Daddy's hair again, huh?"
"I heard that!" The muffled voice called back, getting clearer and clearer by the moment. And then another man was walking into the room, grinning ear to ear as he held up a pacifier, "And I will not be forgetting it darling. Don't come crying to me the next time she's gnawing on your nose."
He leaned over to kiss the woman on the cheek before popping the pacifier in the girl's mouth, laughing when it instantly made her calm down. He was tall and pale, an elf with piercing red eyes and pure white hair.
No. It couldn't be-
"There. All better," The man sighed, his voice crystal clear in the calmness of the room, "She has quite the arm for a toddler."
It was a voice that Astarion knew, better than anyone else. It was his own.
Astarion watched, wide-eyed as his other self lifted the baby up in his arms, laughing as the child squealed around the pacifier, "She sure is cute for someone who can be such a brat. She takes after her mother doesn't she?"
The woman rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling. Almost like she couldn't help but do anything else as she watched the duo, "Brave words for someone of your nature. Not to mention how she's your twin."
"Nonsense. She looks just like you, we should have named her Tav Jr," Other Astarion playfully argued, taking his other arm to wrap around the woman's shoulders, "I'm only responsible for the corpse-like complexion."
Astarion stared at them, in complete shock. He didn't-why would anyone or anything want to show him this? It didn't make sense. How would it be possible for him to be in the sunlight? Let alone to have a family. Astarion knew that this had to be a lie, there was no other explanation.
But that didn't stop his heart from aching from being forced to witness it. He was too shell-shocked to speak as he followed the duo to the other room, listening as his other self set the child in a crib, still cooing at her, "Auntie Karlach is coming over and you'll need your rest. How else will you be annoying together?"
"Astarion!"
He watched himself laugh as he pulled back, kissing her little forehead before murmuring, "Mommy only says my name like that when she has no comeback, isn't that right princess?"
"You're going to regret telling her everything when she can start talking," The woman, Tav, piped up from next to him, "I hope you realize she'll tell me all of your secrets."
Astarion rolled his eyes before pulling her against him, pressing a sweet and lingering kiss to her lips, "What secrets do I have that you don't know? Please, enlighten me."
What kind of cruel joke was this? Astarion, the real Astarion, had seen enough. He turned to the bastard that had sent him here, growling through gritted teeth, "Why are you doing this to me? Have I not suffered through enough?"
The man offered nothing of value, "We offer you what could be, if you can survive. No more, no less."
No. No, no, no. He wouldn't believe him. He refused to. There was no future for him. There couldn't be. I-It wasn't possible. Not with Cazador looming, not when he couldn't walk in the sun without being burned alive. And especially not when he couldn't even fathom letting himself care form someone enough to have a family with.
But that's what was in front of him. He turned back, his morbid curiosity getting the better of him. Just in time to see the couple standing there, holding each other while they made out like teenagers.
"I love you," His other self sighed happily, the words free and unbidden from his own lips between kisses, "More than anything my sweet."
"With one exception?" Tav asked, her arms wrapped around his neck.
Astarion laughed, nodding towards the crib with a knowing grin, "With one exception."
Astarion stared at them, a horrifying feeling starting to grow in his chest.
Hope.
It's the greatest betrayal he could give himself, an eternity's sentence to his own personal hell on the delusional belief that something better would come. He couldn't give in to it. He wouldn't.
But the question still escapes his lips, "How long?"
"Seventy years until you meet," The stranger said, "You must live to see it. Five more until you're here."
Astarion watched, wide-eyed as the alternate reality started to fade, the stranger's eyes becoming more dull and human-like by the moment. He stared until the last possible moment, trying to commit it all to memory.
But it was difficult. Like thoughts he couldn't quite grasp, slipping through his fingers. Something wasn't right.
"Will I remember this?" He asked, even though he was already on the edge of forgetting.
"No," The man said simply. They were back in the room, sitting on the bed as though nothing had happened, "But you'll remember the hope."
It was the equivalent of a curse, one that Astarion could barely fathom as magic twisted his memories. But he could feel it there, festering in his heart. The yearning for a new life, stronger than ever.
Astarion left Shar's Caress that night feeling dazed and confused. He barely managed to drag a wasted loner back to the manor with him, preying on him in the back aisles. It was startling to think that he'd almost forgotten his original mission considering the consequences. But whatever happened had... done something to him. Something that he couldn't quite name.
But he didn't see the sun that day. Or the next. Or the day after that. Instead he continued to struggle, to suffer at the hands of his sadistic sire with no end in sight. Not until years and years later, when the worst and best thing to ever happen to him occurred. He was kidnapped by mind flayers, but gifted with a disgusting parasite that allowed him to live in the sun.
It wasn't ideal but it was better than being under Cazador's thumb. Not to mention how he found companions relatively quickly. It had been pure luck that you stumbled upon him, even luckier still that you were the type to forgive a man for having a knife to your throat.
He was happy to accompany you. He was happy to do whatever it took to increase his chances of survival, frankly. It helped that he felt... strangely drawn to you. You looked oddly familiar. He didn't know how else to describe it, but it was almost as though he'd met someone from a past life.
#astarion#astarion x reader#baldur's gate 3#astarion x tav#what kind of christmas carol fuckery is this?#I'm having a kids moment#but hey isn't writing where you can explore the things you don't know if you want or not yet#heavy leaning towards not because my ass isn't locking down an astarion man#time travel?#what is this#idk#practice writing dont judge me#queue
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hey come here
reblog your own work. reblog it as much as you want. the dashboard is chronological (mostly) so you gotta put it back out there!! ok bye
#ooc#i'm serious though!!!!!#Make a tag if you're concerned about 'spamming'#i use “SRB” and I know a lot of people do! short for self reblog#use your queue and schedule post features#(Queue is just 1 button press and it goes into a queue of other posts that will auto post x amount of posts between a time period)#(If you got into your 'queue' on your dashboard you can change these settings. A queue can hold 1000 posts)#(Schedule posting means you pick the exact date/time it will be posted#then it will be filtered into your queue for that time)#if you don't want to on a whim reblog your work I highly recommend scheduling your post to reblog a few hours/days/weeks/months from now#or if you already have a big queue just toss her in there when you post and be pleasantly surprised when it gets spat out again#but don't feel shame or embarassed !!!#you worked hard on the things you share and the deserve to be seen#sometimes that means a little more work (pushing buttons)#and thats ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ok now for real bye love you
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