#i'm pretty sure i'm missing some i'm sorry
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Unspoken feeling; I miss you.
Isagi x Reader : !! Fluff !! English is not my first language !! Possible mischaracterization !!
Isagi has been a friend of yours since the very first week of highschool. It was tough and maybe just a bit rough around the edges—after all, highschool can be overwhelming, especially if you have no clue on what you're doing. Nonetheless, Isagi was there to help soften out your nerves whenever you're feeling anxious about something. Whether it was exam weeks or when you dozed off out of exhaustion and completely forgot to do the homework that was assigned yesterday.
No denying it, Isagi was a soccer enthusiast, his driven passion towards the sport can be a bit contagious from time to time. Isagi offered to teach you some basics, but.. you refused, trying to save yourself from the embarrassment. Isagi was a bit disappointed but he didn't let it linger for long.
Whenever you're not overly piled up with school work, you'd be around the audience surrounding the field, blending in as you watch Isagi dribble his way through his opponents, striking out a point as his teammates jumped him in support for scoring a point in for the team. The smile that beamed on his face was unmistakable every time he spots you in the crowd, never failing to give you a wave.
Though ever since that finals, where he instinctively passed the ball to his teammate, it... unfortunately, resulted in a loss. Isagi was pretty bummed out, especially since they were so close to winning. You tried your best to comfort Isagi, even if you weren't exactly the best with comforting people when it came to sports, but you knew this was his passion and so you tried your best to be there for him.
“Thanks for being here,” Isagi sighed, sniffling his words though no tears were visible, but his disappointment was very clear. “I just wished I never passed the ball. We were so close to the win, I wonder what would've changed if I just decided to shoot it instead and be selfish,” Isagi's words poured out before he closed his eyes and just sighed. “Sorry about that. I just.. got frustrated. I should be heading back home now.” Before he could fully turn around, he stopped for a second after realizing the time, “..Uh, would you wish for me to accompany you on the way, or..?”
“It's no problem. I can handle myself. Still though,” giving him a pat on the back, a small, thankful smile creeped through the corner of his lips, “I'm still proud of you, okay? Anyway, yeah.. you should go get back home. I can go on my own.” Isagi smiled, quietly muttering out a small "Thank you" but it was hearable enough for me to crack out a smile. “Goodbye.”
It's been months since I saw Isagi. I should've known that that would've been our final goodbye. I wish I asked him to stay just a bit longer. As much as I hate to admit it, I miss him. I miss the way he laughs and the way his smile reached those blue eyes of his.
With a sigh, I sat on the couch, turning on the TV, I wasn't expecting much since it was probably just gonna be some repeated news from yesterday... Well, as I watched, my hand pressed the remote by accident. I didn't mean to skip the channel, but I was stunned in my seat.
The sports channel.. Isagi? Is that him? Well.. there's really no mistaking that blue-haired color of his and that hairstyle? That was just so Isagi. But where has he gone to? You're telling me he's been gone for months, hasn't attended school, and.. now you're saying apparently he's now on TV? Fulfilling his dreams? ...Well, not that I'd get ahold of that, I'm still hella proud of him, but that doesn't mask out my confusion as to where he has gone to. Surely if he was a star he would've dropped out by now, right? Would he..? I mean...
At least he's alive.
Watching the game, you were a bit surprised by the thrill and anxiety you're feeling through out the game. Whenever his team got ahold of the ball, you can't help but silently cheer for them inside your head. You couldn't help but jump out of the seat after Isagi managed to break the tie just before the timer runs out, marking a winning place on their record against Japan!
You decided to chat him hours after the match ended. You readback through your chats together, and well.. It felt like you've been ghosted, but you decided to shoot your shot anyway congratulating as you silently crossed your finger together, hoping he'd respond, cause.. it'd be really awkward if he just leaves you on delievered...
“Hey Isagi, I saw your match earlier against Japan! Congratulations!! Proud of youu like alwayss” a chat popped up and rang on his phone. It has been forever since he's gotten contact with others.. Blue lock was.. hell, at best, but at least they've got their break! The moment he got back his phones, your chats were immediately the ones he noticed, panicking as he typed, realizing he completely forgot to tell you all about it! “Hey!! thank you! im so sorry for leaving you without an explanation. i completely forgot to tell you all about it!!”
“I'm back now and i wont go back soon. Maybe we could meet up? sorry again!” You received the message without fail, feeling relieved that at least he was aware, apologized, and.. well, alive.
Remembering that one ice cream stand you both often went to after school dismissal, you planned on maybe going there with him. Could there be a better place? Definitely. Did you even have enough money to go there? ...Not really. It's really not like you have any allowances left after every commute on the way, and.. greeting a friend you haven't seen in months in an ice cream stand nearby your school wasn't exactly the best place to do that, but hey! It counts! Plus, it's not like Isagi is all that picky anyway...
“Sure, do you mind meeting up with that one ice cream stand? The one that we always go to every school dismissal?” Honestly, you couldn't help but wonder if he still even remembers it. How many months have passed by, anyway? Surely wherever he went through wouldn't affect his memories like that, would it?
“Sure alright :) lets go there” you couldn't help but feel giddy as you read his reply. It was a short text yet it was still very him. At least he didn't seem to change despite all those months.
Isagi waved a hand, the one you always remember whenever he'd see you anywhere on campus. Whether that'd be you watching his game, school dismissal, or when you both pass by each other in the hallway. Perhaps it could've been those months you've been missing him, but you couldn't help but just hug him—you didn't mean for it to be emotional, yet here we are.
Isagi was a bit startled when he felt your hands envelop him, he hesitantly wrapped his arms around you, but slowly melted into it. “Hello, I'm.. uh, sorry again for.. forgetting to inform you," he says as you both pulled away from the embrace.
“It's alright. I mean, I was a bit worried, but you know.. you're back, you still know me, so.. I'm not entirely mad,” you say, hinting out a light-hearted tone to ease up the emotional tension that you accidentally brought into the hug.
Isagi smiled and chuckled as you both walked beside each other, shoulders touching, the air was light and it felt nice to feel his presence beside you. It gave off the very same comfort of your first meeting—the one that soothed your nerves and your anxiousness whenever things get a bit stressful.
Chattering out some laughters and stories, Isagi couldn't help but smile whenever he looks at them. He's been gone for months and while that probably wasn't all that long for some people, to him? It was. It felt longer than expected, he couldn't scratch away the feeling if time just slowed down during his time in Blue Lock or if it was because time just seems to tick slower to bore him out due to the lack of presence of his.. “friend”.
As they ordered some ice creams, Isagi couldn't help but get his heart to admit how much he missed this. He missed them. A lot. It wasn't just this whole ice cream thing, it was them—it wouldn't feel the same if they weren't here. Isagi quirks up a smile, feeling giddy, as he listened to them ramble about everything he's missed—not that he'd cared, after all, the very thing he missed the most was already in front of him, so he couldn't really care less about anything else. But if it meant getting to hear their voice and thoughts? He all in for it.
As the hours go by, they both take a stroll under the lowering sun as the stars slowly start to appear in the orange hue sky. Both may have realized, but neither of them would mention the way their pinky intertwined with each other...
“I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.”
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EDIT: Added some close up shots, thought it might behoove me to zoom in a little.
Here's that big thing I've been working on! This is for the Paper Mario Zine, organized by @dooplissss, which you can download here!!! It's pay-what-you-want, proceeds go to Doctors Without Borders.
I had already been working on something like this for a while and I'm really proud of myself for finishing this on time. I had fun the entire time I was working on this and I learned a lot.
I do have four more (smaller) pieces in this zine, which I won't post until after the game comes out, so if you wanna see them early, go download this thang.
#mario#paper mario#paper mario the thousand year door#pmttyd#super mario bros#shadow queen#illustration#my art#im pretty sure i included at least every npc#the only one i'm aware i missed is Stewart the Cheep Blimp Ticket Guy#sorry stewart you didnt make it#shoutout to mariowiki and the spriters resource for keeping me oriented#some of these designs are really fanon-y so i hope it comes across#paper mario zine
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Does Hyrule mind teaching how to assess a patient??👉👈
"You... want to learn how to assess patients?" Hyrule asked hesitantly.
Wild shrugged. "What if I want to be an EMT?"
"You also said you wanted to be a chef in the hospital."
"I can do both, you know."
Hyrule laughed. "I suppose so. Well... we'll need a patient for this to work."
Wild immediately snatched Sky, who yelped as his friend snaked a hand around his wrist. "Sky's the patient, heaven knows he needs to be looked over anyway."
"Look who's talking, Mr. I-Have-Seizures-and-Don't-Tell-Anybody," Sky grumbled as he was manhandled to sit between the other two.
"Well, everyone knows now."
Hyrule and Sky gave Wild a scalding look. Adequately apologetic, Wild shrugged sheepishly.
"Anyway," Hyrule sighed, shifting his focus to Sky. "Assessments come in different forms. You've got a primary and a secondary assessment. Primary is kind of a general overview and checking for life threatening stuff, secondary is in-depth on what the issue actually is. Make sense?"
Wild nodded.
"Great!" Hyrule continued with a smile. "Okay. Sky's our patient. Sky, you got shot once, right?"
Sky nodded, and Wild balked. "He what?!"
"It was a long time ago," Sky waved a dismissive hand.
"Okay, so that's our scenario," Hyrule said, standing. "We're dispatched for a 21-year-old male with a GSW--"
"That means gunshot wound, right?"
"Yeah. GSW, conscious patient. That's all we've got. So, you get on scene, and the very first thing you do is check for scene safety. If the scene isn't safe, we're not going in. First thing you're taught in EMS - your own safety comes first, because if you're shot you can't help the patient. It's you, your partner, then the patient."
"How often do you actually listen to that rule?" Sky asked, raising an eyebrow.
"That's not what we're learning today," Hyrule waved off easily. It was pretty common knowledge that while he would never put his partner's life at risk, he'd gotten himself into dicey situations before. But he knew how to get himself out of those situations too. "So, we determine the scene is safe. Next, is our primary assessment. The purpose of this assessment is to check for life threatening things, and an overview of major body systems. Neuro status, bleeding, and your ABCs: Airway, Breathing, Circulation.
"The situation is pretty dynamic, like sometimes you walk up and somebody's got an arterial bleed and spurting blood everywhere, your assessment stops right there and you go fix that bleed. But generally you'll have time to do the entire primary assessment."
"Okay, so neuro and ABCs?"
"Yeah. And the good thing is that most of it happens all at once, you know? You walk up to Sky and he looks at you, then boom, you've got a good neuro - he's awake, he's alert. He may not be oriented, but you can figure that out by just talking to him. And by this point you can tell if there's life threatening bleeding. Then it's ABCs - is his airway patent, or open? Is he breathing, and is he doing so normally? Is his skin warm, dry, and normal tone for him? You can literally do al these things by just walking into the room and looking at him for five seconds. The primary assessment is done really fast and, the more times you do it, basically automatically."
"What would be an example of something being wrong?" Wild askd.
Hyrule glanced at him. "When I got on scene for your crash, you were unconscious and unresponsive--in other words, you were not only unconscious, but nothing would wake you up--and your breathing was gurgling sounding because you had blood in your airway."
Glancing at Sky, Hyrule said, "Sky can give us an example of a not great primary assessment, I'm sure."
Helpfully, Sky immediately flopped off the chair he was sitting on, collapsing to the ground with a crash. Wild laughed, and footsteps rushed from upstairs into the living room.
Twilight immediately froze in the entranceway, eyes wide and fixed on Sky. "Sky, what the--guys what the hell is hap--"
Sky perked up immediately. "Oh, sorry! I'm just helping Hyrule teach Wild!"
Twilight froze a moment and then sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose and grumbling under his breath.
Hyrule smiled, pointing at Twilight. "He just perfectly showed a good primary assessment looks like! He walked in and saw the patient down on the ground, tried to figure out a neuro by calling out to him, and when Sky woke up he immediately could tell he was fine. Neuro intact, not bleeding, had a patent airway because he's talking, breathing normally, and skin looks normal."
"I hate all of you," Twilight groaned, walking out of the room.
"Okay, but by skin looking normal... what does it mean when it doesn't?" Wild asked.
"Your skin can tell a story," Hyrule explained. "If you're diaphoretic, which means sweating, something is likely wrong. Though it depends on context - if your patient's sweaty but they were just exercising, it makes sense. If Sky's sweaty on the ground after being shot, he's in shock. If the skin is cool, the body isn't circulating well - that can sap the color right out of your skin - the lighter your skin tone the more notable it is, but darker skin tones can become paler too. A lot of times with darker skin tones you'll want to look at their palms or their lips, that'll help you determine it. Another color is grey - that usually means cardiac and it's bad. So skin can tell you a lot!"
"How did my skin look?" Wild questioned, curious.
"Pale," Hyrule immediately answered. "Anyway. Sky's your patient. Look him over."
"Okay," Wild blew out a breath, approaching Sky and kneeling beside him. "So he's unconscious, that's my neuro so far."
"Can you arouse him at all?"
Wild poked Sky in the neck. Sky flinched. Wild poked again and Sky giggled. Wild's eyes widened in realization, and a mischievous smile crossed his face.
"Wild, wait--"
Sky started laughing hysterically as his friend tickled him, wiggling and trying to shove him away.
"Get--off of m--Wild you jerk--"
Hyrule chuckled. "Well, we're not taught to tickle our patients, but that works."
#sorry this took so long!#needed to manifest some energy to write healthcare au stuff lol#lu in healthcare#asks#writing#lu hyrule#lu wild#my gosh guys it's been SO LONG since I've looked at an EMT textbook I actually had to look up primary v secondary assessment definitions#just to make sure I was explaining it right#because I just automatically do it and haven't used the terms 'primary and secondary assessment' since EMT class#and that was more years ago than I care to admit LOL#in fact it's been so long I'm pretty sure they teach the primary as ABCDE#*puts on grey wig* back in my day#we just had ABC for the primary assessment#airway and breathing and circulation#but now it's airway/breathing/circulation/disability/expose?? I think??#disability makes no sense to me#but all expose is saying is expose areas so you can see what you're dealing with#like for a trauma patient you gotta cut the clothes off to make sure you aren't missing an injury#I think disability is neuro related but they were stretching it ok#medical world and it's dumb acronyms#honestly I say just stick to ABCs#lu sky#lu twilight#poor twi lol#he's so done with their shenanigans#he's been on edge ever since Wild's hospitalization#anybody having issues makes him have a meltdown
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Compiling all of the canon evidence about Caleb because I noticed sources are getting muddled. Below the cut is all the canon info I could find with the episodes and who said it/ where it came from.
Caleb was alone as a child raising his little brother, at some point they moved from an unknown location to Gravesfield (Masha, TTT). The two of them played a witch hunter game where they dressed up in costumes. We see Caleb playing a witch, stepping in a trap Philip set. They also churned butter together and Caleb whittled Philip's mask in Gravesfield. (Portraits, Hollow Mind) Caleb met Evelyn at an unknown point, and bonded over birds, where she was disguised as a human. (Dana Terrace) Later, as a teen, Caleb and still child Philip went on a witch hunt. They found Evelyn in the woods (may or may not be related to witch hunt) and discovered she was a witch. Caleb was accepting of her and the duo began traveling back and forth between Gravesfield and the Boiling Isles, developing a secret code to travel, leaving Philip behind from his perspective. (Portraits/ cut portrait, Hollow Mind. Masha, TTT). As an adult, Caleb cut his hair. (Statue, Yesterday's Lie) At an unknown time, he acquired the cabin near the Noceda house. He had his (implied in KT/TTT) blue coat embroidered with the symbol of a bird in a cage, and this coat became Philip's at an unknown point in time. (King's Tide/TTT) Caleb or Evelyn also hid the Rebus Box under the floorboards and created said Rebus and hid the Titan's blood near the portal with an owl stopper. (TTT) At some point, as Caleb and Philip were adults, a fire started at the current day historical society and Caleb + Evelyn vanished. Philip followed after, leaving a diary behind which was used to understand the situation by the townspeople (Jacob, Yesterday's Lie. Masha, Storyboard for TTT, considering canon as complacent). Philip states that it takes him five years to find the Titan's blood and in the image he is growing a beard (Eclipse Lake). He has a medium length beard when he confronts Caleb and Evelyn first in his beast form, transforming back when Caleb hugs him. At this point, Evelyn is pregnant with a child and she and Caleb are holding hands. A later shot shows Philip holding a knife behind his back as Caleb smiles and Evelyn is turned away. Philip is wearing the blue coat. At a later point, Caleb has his hands up, holding a flat edged knife looking worried as Philip walks to the right. Caleb is on the ground with flames around him, and those flames die down as he dies. Philip sees himself in the reflection of the dagger with blood on it. Evelyn returns and uses a gold magic, hitting Philip as he runs away. (Portraits, Hollow Mind) At an unknown point, Philip obtains Caleb's remains and begins several failed grimwalker experiments until the episode Elsewhere and Elsewhen where he meets the Collector.
Missing/fragment evidence: Philip and Caleb are missing information for most of their adulthood, and Evelyn has extremely scare information. A mural in Belos's castle representing wild witches burning a town resembles Eda with short hair in a green dress and a blonde witch with rounder ears, likely Evelyn and her daughter. (Watching and Dreaming) The blue coat has never been proven to belong to Caleb, other than Masha using a similar blue coat in TTT and Belos's sensitivity to the coat being mentioned/ him always wearing it. There is no canon explanation as to how Caleb ended up alone with Philip, where their parents are, or how they got the cabin. It is unknown if Philip confronting Caleb in his beast form and Caleb's murder happened at the same time or on different days, or where Flapjack or Evelyn is for the murder (although she returns from the right, the same direction Philip was facing with the knife) (Hollow Mind). Flapjack has limited information but is likely Evelyn's bird (Dana Terrace). Caleb was a whittler and may have carved Palismen, as that later becomes the family business of the Clawthornes, and Evelyn is a Clawthorne. However this isn't provably canon.
#the owl house#toh#toh meta#pretty boring unless you're reading this for the first time#I'm organizing information sorry#I'm sure I missed things feel free to add if I forgot some evidence especially if it was from Dana and I missed it#caleb wittebane#evelyn clawthorne#if the wiki people would let me fix his page I would..
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hey
#so i've been dealing with some irl stuff recently#nothing too bad. it was just really frustrating and exhausting for me. and really putting a damper on my mood and my art#and i'm sorry if i've been acting a little weird or not saying too much or anything#or if i've been kinda inactive for the past few days#but i'll be okay!#i just wanted to let you guys know what's been kinda going on#i'm slowly working on something really sweet involving Hugo and Noa. so that's been making me feel better#i need something happy and soft between them lol#also! I've been playing The Quarry recently!#the writing is kinda stupid and almost all of the characters act like they don't have a brain. but that's what makes it so fun!#and i'm pretty sure the devs did that intentionally. to make it seem more like a campy monster flick#i'm really enjoying it so far! the werewolves are really cool!#also it's really funny to me how they just pop like balloons whenever they're transforming#i thought it was gonna be a slow transformation. but no. their skin just immediately explodes off#and then they somehow get it all back when they turn back into humans? idk how that works but it's pretty rad#also also! the thing with the tarot cards is really cool!#i missed a lot in the beginning because i didn't know what i was looking for#and the fortune teller lady in between chapters kept getting mad at me for not finding any#but i eventually started to get it! when the game decided to really put one in my face in chapter 3 lol#and the thing with the tarot cards representing the different characters in the game got me thinking about what card Noa would probably be#i think Seven of Swords would be right up her alley#because it's associated with deception. dishonesty. betrayal. and acting strategically#and it could also signify self-deception and confessions. which is all very true for her character#aaahh now i wanna make a tarot card design for her!#but that's an idea for another day#anyway sorry for sorta rambling a bit#i hope you all are doing okay
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Month 7, day 26
Migraines suck but I promised the Forspoken community* a banner and avatar today and bY GOLLY I WILL DELIVER ON MY PROMISES, BRAIN IMPLOSIONS BE DAMNED D<
I spent, like... I was not paying attention to my start time but I want to say two hours? Let's go with two hours. Anyway, I spent FOREVER on the Cipal banner and then for Frey and Cuff I just took the cutscene screenshot and went "eh that just needs a bit of saturation and contrast tweaking" and spent all of maybe twenty seconds on it lol
*(we have a community now; shoot me an ask if you want to join and I'll send you an invite)
#the great artscapade of 2024#art#my art#Forspoken#Forspoken fan art#← technically#Forspoken photo mode#Frey Holland#Forspoken Cuff#I'm PRETTY SURE I already invited everyone who is still active in the Forspoken tag but I probably missed some folks#if I missed you I'm very sorry
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a junkyard dog ain't always pretty but you always love that toothless smile
#i miss tyler bertuzzi#liv in the replies#the absolute way i just got bodied by shake it out coming on as i uploaded the pictures to this post#um. sorry not sorry. the google doc/pdf of the quote that i used for this was literally titled#god fuckin curse the notesapp i wrote two years ago#directly referencing the note i have (pretty sure from when the maple leafs seemed really serious about wanting bert) & i remember#being slammed out of NOWHERE by the sudden thought (because i've been preparing for years for bert to leave) (andreas in feb moe in april)#verbatim: if tyler bertuzzi ever gets traded or retires it's catalog of unabashed gratitude the heart part and i will sob#S T O P#tyler bertuzzi#detroit ride or die#this does actually rival we don't have a future we have a dog for some of these for me which. fuck u past me for being so right about this#things that i need you to know for the narrative: oh dumbstruck is tyler's first nhl game (vs the flyers)#thank you every day is from tyler's hat trick & yes the bruins on knucklehead is intentional because it hurt my feelings#also should note. i'm sorry is from when tyler broke his hand this season & no i'm not okay about the narrative of who is he w/o his hands#yeah yeah yeah. the last five make me want to throw up screaming crying shaking wailing#i made it so much worse by looking at dyl's post#dylan larkin#anthony mantha#andreas athanasiou#catalogue of unabashed gratitude [abridged] - ross gay#my sincerest apologies to fabs i simply could not put him in here he was in we don't have a future we have a dog that was all i could take#should i have abridged the last one to say 'for every day'? yeah probably. did i think of that too late? also probably. wait hang on#ooooookay so i did it so now that tag doesn't make sense but it's fine i also have an alt for dumbstruckand pelican heart :)))))))#what i wish i could've made for u but the pictures don't exist is tyler running down the drive barefoot on the phone the day he got drafted#do you really believe in him? is he a good kid? no problems? you're gonna love him. you're gonna love him.#i'm also fully not even gonna talk to y'all about vrana. i can't do that red string tonight. we're also ignoring sunny#STEVE WHAT FUCKING TEAM ARE WE GONNA HAVE TO PLAY WITH#yes i made this exclusively for me no i don’t care yes i am a lil sorry i love him u’ve heard it all before. dilly i’m kissing ur forehead
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Benzaiten Steel
#Benzaiten Steel#I'm going off vibes alone I haven't listened to the actual eps in quite a while#So sorry if there are specific things about his appearance mentioned in those that I missed. I don't think there were any though#Junoverse#The penumbra podcast#Tpp#Btw about art requests-- if you sent one I'll get to them! Not sure if I'll be done today though it's getting pretty late#I appreciate the requests a lot though thanks you!!#I should practice dark skin more it looks a bit weird if you have any constructive advice/criticism I'd be very thankful#Not in terms of anatomy though I know it sucks enormous balls#PS: I did age Ben up some
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extreme hoarding, rp edition.
#out of character.#the 10th Doctor momentarily possessing me: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.#side note I'm pretty sure I'm missing some dkjfvkjefkjv
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maybe some 10hour minecraft solo would fix me
#i dunno#im not sure why ive been all Eughh abt the server bf likes#part of it might be the New aspect of it and another part might be just how active it is and how many ppl are there#even tho im not like. ever direct or one on one with them its like#im at a party sort of#the chat is active too much and That. drains me a lot faster than i realize#so either a smaller server a Much smaller server or a solo world for a minute#would fix me#because i do want to minecraft#i miss it its good its nice it gives me something to do that i likely wouldn't ever get shamed for#(in this day and age... back in my day id get bullied in school about it)#(not usually by students but some did Judge me Heavily but mostly it was teachers who were like. 'video games are violenntt!!') but anyways#i wanna like the server bf likes so badly#but every single time i log on im like i cant find a good spot ever theres too many people and hhhh#so i log off of it pretty quickly even tho i Want. to like it#i jus dont think i caaann#and hi leo if ur reading this which i Hope you are <3#i would've told you this earlier. If i found out and unpacked this earlier but I'm only unpacking it now and at the time of#typing this i am so so so so SO sleepy and you are possibly just waking up or about to in an hour or so#so mwah mwah ily and such and gmmm#and im sorry if the short minecraft sessions felt Bad but it 10000% wasnt you#the uniqueness of that server js fun dont get me wrong but i dont think it can be like an All Time server for me#so make your own lil space there and ill pop in from time to time#if u want to at least#nya.txt#ow why cramps..#im nit bleeding or anything jus empty cramps bc i missed some shots oops#but its tolerable i just wnana sleeeeeepp
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For some reason, this round of meds (same dose and everything as last time) is making me have very violent Realisations and Remembering Things moments. And by that I mean the Thing I Forgot and/or the Realisations show up with a bat and see how hard they can make my brain hit the wall. So anyway.
YOU GUYS REMEMBER SPIKE THE WETFLOOR BOT??? YOU GUYS REMEMBER HER??? THE FIRST FAZBEAR ANIMATRONIC TO BE BORN FROM LOVE INSTEAD OF PAIN??? YOU REMEMBER HER???
CAUSE I JUST DID
#SPPIIIIKKKEEEEEE I MISS YOOOUUUU#I love spike. spike the wet floor bot is my favourite. I miss her I should bring her back somehow#the first animatronic to gain sentience and awareness out of LOVE and CARE#I miss her we need to bring her back. I never made a visual design but I definitely posted some descriptions of her pretty sure#a wet floor bot... a little wonky and a little off colour. holes in it's damaged and dented casing patched up with scrap#never the same colour. always different#stickers and magnets and a lil bit of spray paint. part of an ear missing and crooked#has one of roxy's spiked bracelets around her neck with a keyring dangling from it like a tag...#she picked her own name and pronouns... doesn't really understand what they are and what they mean but she wants them#in one AU she was Roxy's little distraction. something to work on and repair while the others search the rubble of the plex for-#their friends. In another Roxy repaired her for fun unknowingly after Vanny had used her as a test subject for the virus#in another one post-ruin roxy and cassie were searching the plex for an easy animatronic for roxy to repair so cassie's dad could-#test what she'd learned about repairing them from him and found a salvageable wet floor bot#that they then wrapped in tarp and put in a shopping trolley to take her straight home and get to work on her much to the-#confusion of literally everyone as they barrel down the halls of flats with an unidentified tarp blob in a stolen shopping trolley#<- that one's Meteors AU btw. Roxy got turned into a Real Boy by the Meteor and is now living with Cassie as her adopted sister#this is just the kind of shit these two get up to all the time and no one knows who's meant to be the braincell between them because well#they keep taking turns on who the older sibling is. they keep changing it. the eldest sibling is based entirely on the situation lmao#who's bright idea was it to steal a wet floor bot? WHO KNOWS!! Cassie said 'pick an animatronic!' so they did that's all there is to it!#cassie's dad just. head in hands. as he realises. the fucking wet floor sign on wheels is sentient now.#why. why and how. terrified of the wrath of Fazbear if they find out. while she's just. trundling about.#wheels on carpet floor style. struggling but getting there. happy beeps as she pushes a ball around on the floor. living her best life.#sfdsfdsfs I fucking LOVE Spike okay I miss her I need to bring her back somehow#I could give her to mangle or sprocket in robot hell but I'm not doing much with that right now#sdhfdfsfs Chica's recipe zine starring Spike!! and every image of her is just confusion#'see? even Spike likes bananas!' Chica says as she puts one on the floor so Spike can very happily run it over.#dfsdfsds love Spike. Spike enrichment is now running random foods over because she can. and also the wheels off a toy monster truck#so she can be an ALL TERRAIN wet floor bot. make them gecko wheels like DJ's hands and she's got everyone beat lmao#she can be DJ's Uppies Buddy!!#lmao Spike I'm so sorry I've left you in the dark for so long I'm bringing you back. beloved guy of all time
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FINAL FANTASY IV BEST FINAL FANTASY!!!!!!
Tbh I don't even remember why I bought IV on the GBA over V (I LOOOOVE EXDEATH) but I made it to the part where you meet Sage Tellah in the cave and stopped in that safe room right before the boss fight in the cave. The plot has me really interested in where it's gonna go though; having the protagonist slaughter like two entire villages back to back right at the start of the game is a WILD hook lol
I also appreciate getting to play an adult that's fully aware of what's going on in a FF game for once haha Though, I've beat 7 and 8, most of 10, and played only a bit of 9, 10-2, 5, and 15 so I know 4 isn't the only FF that doesn't have a young/naive protag.
Cecil looks cool affff
hell yeah
#asks#Imo his paladin design is a little bit of a downgrade but I'm sure it'll grow on me once I find out why it happens#4 is one of the FF games I like NEVER see anyone talk about EVER#But it sort of seems like its original release was a little bungled here in the west? So maybe that's why#I wish I'd beaten 10 back when I first played it but I got stuck on a boss and then I ended up moving houses and never got back to it :(#10 gets memed on really hard but honestly it's got some of my favorite art direction in the whole FF series. It's so unique/pretty#7 is iconic of course. I liked 8's character writing/development a lot more though but 7's art beats it#I reeeeaaalllly wanted to get into 9 because the art direction in that one is super unique too but... Zidane lost me... I'm sorry.........#If I had to order the FF games I've played at least some of from most to less-most favorite I'd probably list them like:#8; 7; 10; 15; 5; 9; 10-2#The positions of 5; 9; and 15 would probably be different if I'd played more of them. Especially 5#None of them are really 'bad' though like I don't think Final Fantasy as a series is even capable of missing haha
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hello friends! i'm back by unpopular demand hehe i bet you thought you'd seen the last of me huh
#anyway sorry for being inactive for so long#i had to leave for a bit cause the urge to delete everything was too strong#honestly i had a pretty rough last couple of months and i'm still not feeling 100%#but i have been playing a lot though so i'll be posting some legacy content later and some sim dumps i been working on hehe#i don't know if i'm going to be as active as i used to but i'll make sure to show up once in awhile#anyway i missed everyone so much and i hope y'all are doing well and it'll try to catch up to everything i missed :)#also i'm a little late but happy new year!! lol#ruby.txt
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yall my ex is so lucky we're not together now that I'm off my meds for like. not even the reason that makes sense.
#oooooh i have no appetite now that I'm not on multiple meds with weight gain as a side effect#surely that aspect of my being is evil of me#pretty sure my unmedicated bipolar disorder would just be like fun for him bc im not always depressed anymore#not to be like crazy or whatever but the fact that while i was taking meds and working on my relationship w food they were like. bitter?#like demonized me both having problems with food and seeking help for them#&viewed my being on medication as exceptionally privileged which like. i wish i was on them again i get it but also getting that 'privilege'#required 1) my own fucking money i got from having a job something they didnt get until we broke up and i was like#im not paying off our apartment alone so either you or your parents owe me money every month#and 2) getting hospitalized after an attempt#because i had the privilege of being on twice the max dose of an antidepressant that didnt help me#like. ugh yes it was a privilege and one that i miss having but it also sucked getting there it wasnt like#idk the way they framed it was always like i was offered the fucking luck of the draw on it or whatever#like sorry? remember when i was on so much lexapro i went into a dissociative fugue and started dating you lol fuck off#because i actually genuinely dont remember like 6 or 7 months because of that shit!#i actually ended up hospitalized from it and all i remember hearing about it was that you were sad bc you felt you werent enough to stop it#like it had fucking anything to do with you#like wish them all the best but damn. actually they sucked very very badly. i hope they figure it out one day but probably not#ik theyre on antidepressants now so yknow. im sure theyll forget being medicated means theyre privileged now#becomes normal once its them or some shit
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#I was watching this interview a TV station did with The Hives#and it's great it's lovely the interviewer clearly loves their music and is excited speak with them#unfortunately her mannerisms and style of interviewing is so similar to mine that I feel like I'm watching myself#and I had to turn it off out of self-consciousness#I *feel* like that. I am pretty sure I have that same tremble of nerves. I mean that much even I can hear *while* I'm talking#do I really sound so anxious? How do people sound so calm and authoritative fellas I do not have it :(#sorry to anyone who has ever had to endure an interview I've done#the bands are so calm in comparison because it'll be like one of thirty they'll do that day n all#anyway; on the flip side I love and miss media un-trainedness#I am actually not at all media trained myself but like in general people on screen seem to be. So you don't get the nerves and awkwardness#anymore. Is that a good thing? If you ever intend on catching a recording of *yourself* then maybe. But also seeing yourself can't ever be#normal you never get used to that. So we ask instead is it good for media in general?#I don't know. You lose some of that rawness wrt your guests! But also it does depend on the qs you ask.#You absolutely can get a guest comfortable enough to speak quite fluidly; that's when you're a good interviewer#anyway sorry for ranting raving and musing; sorry to anyone who's had to hear me attempt to do media but I can't hear it back meself
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i don't know how to explain to people that my sister saying and doing odd things doesn't upset me, i am upset that she is upset and i don't know how to interact with her or what things are harmful or helpful
#i just hate that she is so distressed#and interacting with her requires a whole new set of social skills that i absolutely do not have#i can safely do parallel play and sitting quietly with her but beyond that i am lost#and what i actively do often upsets her. even sticking to obvious stuff like validating emotions and making sure basic needs are met etc#and messing up has high stakes bc she is vulnerable and unpredictable and has a low window of tolerance#but it's also pretty much inevitable bc my brain can't follow where hers goes atm#ugh#anyway she's in hospital now - she went missing but luckily we found her. she had to be held down and taken away forcibly in an ambulance#VERY traumatic#recovery is going to be a bitch#at least she didn't run out onto a road or get picked up by someone#i want to visit her but the thought of stepping foot in a psych ward again makes me feel genuinely sick. not sure what to do about that#like i know it's different i'm just visiting i can leave at any time#but she can't#and not to be dramatic but a part of me never left. tbh#still get nightmares#i can barely eat or sleep thinking about her being in there#anyway sorry for oversharing i am losing my mind. and making some poor decisions
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