#i'm perfectly willing and fine with talking about anything else on there but fuck

[jaylver]

BAD IDEA RIGHT? — L.HS

synopsis: Getting over an ex was supposed to be easy? Wrong. You couldn’t resist yourself from going back to your ex, Lee Heeseung, after just one phone call from him and you even ended up lying to your friends about it. All of the trouble and emotions you went through after the break up was meant to keep you away, but can’t two people reconnect? Seeing him for a night was a bad idea, right?

pairings: non-idol!heeseung x afab!reader

genre: exes to fwb/situationship, slight angst

warning(s): slight hints of suggestiveness, profanities, running back to an ex </3

wc: 1024

a/n: immediately had an idea after listening to olivia rodrigo's new song! hope you enjoy this one and please leave a feedback as always <3 reblogs are appreciated too! muah!!

masterlist | © jaylver 2023 all rights reserved

Bumping into your ex at a party wasn't what you had in mind.

It was a night you were meant to enjoy with your girlfriends, being all dolled up in your best dresses and having your makeup done perfectly, you were ready to meet someone tonight. That idea came crashing down when you caught sight of him, Lee Heeseung, your ex.

You haven't heard from him in months after the break up. Although it was a friendly, mutual break up, things just weren't the same as it was. A three year relationship down the drain was painful and hard to fully let go, you didn't even know what went wrong. Somehow you also managed to avoid him most times, but apparently it just wasn't your night, was it?

"Y/N, please don't let him affect you," Wonyoung practically begged, personally witnessing your messy cries after the break up and wishing anything but for you to run back to him when the wound was still healing.

"I'm not," you said defensively, but frowned. "I think,"

"You think?"

"I'll avoid him and he won't affect me. Out of sight, out of mind,"

"You better," she said almost threateningly.

The rest of the hour passed by with you drinking sadly and Wonyoung off to somewhere else, which meant you were all on your own. Heeseung was nowhere in sight and you were glad, hoping it would stay that way. 

It didn't.

An unknown number flashed on the screen of your phone. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to pick it up, but you did anyway, your instincts were telling you to do so.

"Hello?"

"Y/N?"

That voice.

"You didn't change your number," the voice from the other side said, amused.

"But you did," you breathed out, setting down the cup in your hand. "Heeseung,"

"I'm alone right now,"

"And?"

You could hear him exhaling, a beat passed. "Can you come over?"

"Are you insane?"

"No,"

Even though he couldn't see it, you rolled your eyes. "Are you feeling reminiscent? Or you just needed someone?"

"Not just someone, I need you,"

"Hee," you didn't realise you'd used your usual nickname for him until a second later, it was too natural, he was natural to be with. "I'm not just some hook up booty call you hit up after months of not talking,"

Heeseung scoffed. "You know I don't think of you like that. I never would. I miss you, genuinely, I do. I did some thinking lately and honestly, I want to see you,"

It was most likely a moment of weakness, but you could feel your self respect crumbling. You couldn't lie either, you've missed him as well, and the worst part was him calling you up and you were willing to go back to him.

"Send me your address." You hung up. The more you talked to him, and heard his voice, the more you felt your heart on the edge of combusting.

You were stupid. Your thoughts were practically screaming at you the moment you got out of the house and into your car. You know you were done with him, that you two were through, but God, when you think of him or look at him, you couldn’t help but let yourself run back. This time, you were not immune to him. At all.

Seeing him tonight, it was a bad idea, right? 

Fuck it, it’s fine. 

Up on the second floor was his new place. There he was standing at the door, smiling widely as you approached. The devilishly charming smile that had you hooked in the first place pulled you in, and that’s when you knew you weren’t leaving anytime soon. 

“Heeseung,” 

He looked as if he couldn’t actually believe you were standing there right in front of him. After months of not reaching out or seeing each other fully, both of you were equally surprised by one another’s changes. A second passed before he grabbed a hold of your arm and pulled you in, closing the door behind him. 

“Is it bad to say that I’ve missed you?” his voice came out in a whisper, you were barely inches away from his face, the familiar scent of his cologne welcomed you to melt into his hold further.

“It is,”

“Can I have you for the night?”

“Just for tonight?”

“It could be more than that if you like. Just say the word and I’ll be yours again,”

Your brain was haywiring, it was genuinely just going ‘ah’ and you couldn’t hear your thoughts.

“Fuck it.”

Everything passed by in a blur. The next second you found yourself in his bed and suddenly it was three in the morning where you were wide awake, Heeseung however was sound asleep next to you. Sneaking your phone out and opening the groupchat with your girlfriends, you read over the hundreds of messages, ones where they said they wouldn’t be home as they’re staying over at someone else’s. You typed in an update, telling them you were about to sleep, but never mentioned where or in whose sheets.

Oh, the walk of shame was going to be something the next morning.

Heeseung ended up dropping you off in the morning and bidding you goodbye before leaving. The casualness from him had you doubting your choices, but you stayed silent as you made your way to your dorm, where your friends awaited you. Maybe breaking the news that you hooked up with your ex wasn’t the best choice either.

“You did what?” Wonyoung stared at you with her coffee mug almost dropping to the ground.

“Y/N…” Yujin’s voice trailed off in disappointment, and you sat there swallowing down the dread.

“Yes I know that he’s my ex, but can’t two people reconnect?” you tried reasoning, but the other two didn’t seem impressed. “I just tripped and fell into his bed,”

“Sure you did,” Wonyoung sighed before taking a big sip out of her mug.

“Hey, what’s the worst thing that could happen?” you threw your hands up, trying to play it cool. “I only see him as a friend.”

Biggest lie you’ve ever said. 

( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )

[aaronhotchswife]

Hey, I'm not sure if your still taking requests but l've had this idea for a few days but lack the talent to write 😭

Could you possibly do Aaron × f!reader where they are having an argument. They both work for the BAU and something had happened in the field and when they got back home (originally his place) they got into a heated argument and Aaron says something hurtful like “why did you even coming back here if we're just going to fight" which the reader responds by saying “is that what you want? For me to go out into the field and not come back home?" And when Aaron doesn't answer (out of shock and regret) the reader takes that as his answer and leaves which he then regrets what he said. The next day in the office reader won't even look or talk to him and in the field reader is more careless and takes huge risks because of what Aaron had said.

Possibly ends with reader getting an injury and is in the hospital and in fluff or hurt/comfort.

Im in a big mood for some angsty shizz so if you are able and willing i would love to see what you put together for this. If not that's perfectly fine too! Thanks darlin' 🫶

Hi!! Of course I still take requests and I'm happy to write it for you! Let me know what you think and thank you so much for your idea love, I was in the mood for some angst too lol 🫶🏼

If you guys have some resquets, I'll be happy to write them for you!

Warnings : angst, injury, hospital, mentions of death, blood, aaron being mean, use of the word "fuck"

--------

"Why the fuck did you do that y/n ?!" Aaron said, his hand grasping the wheel harder than usual.

"I didn't think Aaron, I just acted." you responded, your jaw clenched.

"You could have get yourself kill. Are you stupid or what ?"

"The girl is alive, that's all that matters. You would have done the same thing I'm pretty sure."

You guys worked a case of a young girl getting abducted. When you found her, you went to untie her before looking if the unsub was there. It was reckless you know it but you didn't think about it at the time. You just wanted her to feel safe.

"I wouldn't have put my life or the life of my team on the line y/n."

When Aaron pulled in the driveway, you got out of the car, following him while he unlocked the door of the apartment. You threw your purse on the bench near the door, turning around to face Aaron, your arms crossed.

"Why did you even come back here if we're just going to fight?" he sighed.

"Really Aaron ? I'm the one fighting when you're the one to say I'm stupid. Are you not happy that I got back ?"

"Well, with the way you're acting out, what difference would it make."

That did it for you. Being told that you're stupid was one thing because what you did was stupid, but being told that he would've rather not seeing you home with him, that was something else.

"Is that what you want ? For me to go out into the field and not come back home ?" you said, voice breaking.

Aaron kept his gaze on the floor, something he would always do when he felt ashamed or angry. Of course he wouldn't want that but by the time he could find the words to say something, you replicated with a coldly "yeah, that's what I thought." before grabbing your purse and leaving his apartment. That night, all you could think about was him and how he wouldn't even mind if something happened to you. You've been with him for a couple of months now but you never made it official yet. Both of you wanted to take your time. But now, you ask yourself if all of it was really worth it.

For Aaron, it wasn't that. Of course he cared about you and he wanted you to come back home after each days, but at that moment, with the tears in your eyes and your voice breaking, he couldn't answer anything and now he regretted it. What you did was stupid, it's true but he shouldn't have talk to you like that. He knew you were probably going to cry yourself to sleep tonight and it killed him. He tried calling you but he knew you wouldn't respond. But he knew that you needed some space.

The next day, you dreaded going to work. You didn't want to face him and you just wanted to curve yourself in your bed. When you got at work, you waited for him to get off of his car. You didn't want to talk to him. You didn't even want to see him. He hurted you. The team realized something was wrong with the both of you, especially with your attitude, you who are always bubbly and in a good mood. Everytime you needed to give him a report or to ask him a question for a case, you send Spencer or JJ at your place. You explained to them briefly that you guys were fighting and that you didn't want to talk to him or to talk about it. But then, when Hotch called the team for a meeting because of a new case, you knew the day will be long. A man started shooting in a high school in Baltimore and the team needed to hurry.

Arriving at the scene, Aaron gave everyone inscructions. He tried looking at you but you focused your gaze everywhere except on him. He wasn't even sure if you heard him talking. He then went into a FBI van with Rossi and Emily to listen to the suspect inside of the school. He kept some students hostage and the team needed to let them leave in security. Aaron told everyone to wait for the signal, for when someone could go in without being shot. You were so mad at him that following his orders was something you couldn't think of doing at that moment. Even if it would mean for you to get shot. You honestly didn't care. You didn't care because he didn't care. So while everyone was busy, you went to see a member of the SWAT and told him that you'll go in and not to shoot whatever happens. Aaron was busy with Rossi and a couple of other officers, not seeing the camera of the school cafeteria in the van. It's when Emily shouted something that he turned around, his eyes paralyzed on the screen. You were there, inside. He couldn't hear what's was going on and he knew that no matter how panicked he was, that he couldn't run inside the school without getting you both shot and maybe the students too. His mouth was dry and he swears he never felt worse than now.

The Unsub asked you to take off your bulletproof vest and to leave your gun on the floor. You did as asked, knowing that you'll be in trouble after. You'll be in so much trouble. You talked with the Unsub, telling him that you understood why he did that. People bullied him and he couldn't live like that anymore. You try talking him out of it but you knew he was desperate and killing a feredal agent would get himself kill, something he wanted. So when Aaron saw your body crumbling on the floor, he couldn't take it anymore. He got out of the van, yelling at the SWAT team to enter the school and do something. Derek was holding him back, trying not to think about your body on the floor.

When the SWAT finally enter the school and killed the shooter, Aaron runned to you, seeing your body covered in blood, you in and out of consciousness. You couldn't hear him and couldn't see him well, your eyes closing by themselves.

When the doctor came back into the waiting room, Aaron rised from his chair automatically, his face white as if he just seen a ghost. His heart was pounding loud in his chest and he felt like he couldn't breathe.

"She's going to be ok. She lost a lot of blood but the operation went well. She just need to rest for a couple of weeks. You can go see her if you want."

Rossi looked over to Aaron, hand on his shoulder.

"You should go see her first." he said.

He walked tentatively to your hospital room, it's not that Aaron wouldn't want to see you, he just knew that he wouldn't be able to see you like that, in a hospital bed with machines plugged to you.

"If you're here to yell at me you can leave." you said abruptly, looking everywhere except at him.

"I'm not. But you know that what you did was stupid. I could've lose you." he responded, his arms crossed the same way they're crossed when he's reprimanding Jack. You felt guilty and you knew he was right. It was stupid.

"It's not like you would've care."

"I would've care because I love you. I love you y/n and I know this is probably not the way you would have thought of me saying it but it's true. I love you more than anything in the world and I'm sorry if sometimes I suck at showing it. I do care about you and I do want you home after each day and if something would happen to you I would not get through it. I was so scared out there, it made me think that I can't loose you too the same way. I know we said that we'll take our time but I want you to be mine and I need you to be mine and to come back to me." his voice was shaking and tears were forming in his eyes.

You never saw him emotional because of you and the only thing you wanted was to lay yourself on him and kiss him.

"I'm so sorry for what I said y/n. I'm so sorry."

You couldn't help the tears falling on your cheeks, Aaron sitting on the bed next to you.

"I'm sorry too Aaron. I know it was stupid but I just thought you didn't care about me but I know it's not an valuable thing to excuse how I acted. I love you. I want to be yours forever and I can imagine how you felt because I would've felt the same if it was you. I promise not the be this reckless again, I promise."

[pianocat939]

Hello I have request if you want to do it!

Yandere Rise Turtles that kidnapped the reader and the reader ignores them and stays quiet cause the reader pretty much trusted them and they broke their trust by kidnapping them.

Ah yes the "trust is broken" trope. Time to use all 6 of my braincells to write a theory that is totally impossible~

I know I shouldn't be saying this but I can't think of any ideas for rise rn so I would appreciate requests. Whenever I think of any I scrap it because I don't like how it sounds in the end haha.

Tw: trauma, anxiety, manipulation, delusions, arson (it's Mikey ok?), overprotective impulses, mentions of usage of medical drugs, unhealthy dependencies, I keep making Mikey a sociopath help

Yandere Turtles with Kidnapped MC who Doesn't Speak to them

Raph

I think he would have mixed feelings. The rational side of him perfectly understands why you would react this way; however, he also believes that you need to realize the purpose of his actions.

It's because he needs you so much! His brain can't comprehend being away from you for too long. He gets horrible anxiety if he's not able to cling onto you. So please understand! He's trying to get better but his thoughts just stab him mercilessly.

Despite his views, he doesn't try to pry too much. Sure, he might cry a little, and feel like a monster, but he doesn't talk more than needed. He wishes you answer, but if you need to go through such a state then so be it.

He'll still follow you around, as it's the bare minimum he can tolerate.

I, theoretically speaking, feel that anybody can tell he doesn't kidnap because of twisted/problematic views but rather the amount of trauma he's carried for so long. That being said, there is a way for MC to leave without having to escape.

A. Lot. Of. Therapy.

Consoling his problems is honestly the best way to go for Raph. He's willing to cooperate, and needs only help before he's back to normal. It'll take quite a bit of time, but it's better than being stuck in the lair for the rest of your life.

He apologizes a shit ton. Doesn't matter if you trust him or not, he apologizes.

"I'm sorry. I don't care whether you forgive me or not. I just want you to know that I regret everything."

Leo

Out of his brothers he's least likely to even try kidnapping.

The only case I can think of is if you lost trust for him due to his manipulation. Then he impulsively kidnaps you (it is way too fucking easy for him).

Once you go into your unresponsive state he'll pull the guilt tripping card. He believes if he continues to do so, your mind will trick you eventually. It hurts him that you don't want to answer voluntarily but it's nothing a little bit of psychology can't fix.

He acts like everything is fine while he waits. He'll talk to you, hug you, and anything else of that matter. It's not that he's delusional, rather he's trying to find ways to break you down.

There is a chance he'll lose his patience, and it can go two ways: 1. He breaks and tries to justify his actions. 2. He becomes delusional in a similar way Mikey Wazowski is.

I think there's equal chances for either possbilities.

To elaborate further for the two. When he breaks he'll go into a frenzy of sadness + frustration. He'll state that the reason why he even manipulated in the first place was because he felt useless and wanted you to rely on him for a lot of things. He's honest, and doesn't hide behind his mask. He'll interrogate why you don't depend on him. Let him take care of you, even for something as cutting up Warren Stone.

Now we get to talk about his developing of the "Mikey syndrome" we can call it.

His supposed mind games seem to backfire and work on him rather than you. Meaning, he forms a delusion that you still love and trust him after all the kidnapping and manipulation. He acts as if you guys are a normal couple. Which may be good for your case. He won't let you be independent for some things but you are able to leave the lair (with him by your side). No escaping though, he has his sword.

"I love you so much! I'm glad we understand each other so well."

D'Nello

Most likely to kidnap.

I think his reaction will result in a disaster. As I've written before he's an overprotective and controlling type; so it only makes sense that he declares your state of mind as an illness that he needs to take care of.

Try to ignore him all you want but this man can easily haul you into his lab, run through tests, and not acknowledge the obvious problem of the situation. He believes that you are in a fragile position so it'll only influence him more to "heal" you.

His methods of healing are both physical and mental. He'll check your brain's activity, find a pattern, and see if he can develop a drug that alters your mindset. On the mental counterpart, he talks on and on about psychology, and how to reset everything so that you can be "healthy" again.

If he notices you ignoring on purpose whenever he's speaking about your state of health then he'll snap at you until you listen. You don't have to talk, just be aware of the information leaking from him.

There is no chance of being totally released from his grasp. Not only does he have the advanced technology to ensure your chances of escape are nonexistent, but he is also unnegotiable. He's extremely lucid, but finds no wrong in his intentions as it is protecting someone from harm; when really it is him that is the harm.

Once you're stuck with him, you're fucked.

"Your mental state is nothing I can't fix. The brain can easily be assessed and its neurons can be altered with some drugs."

Mikey Mouse Club House

(I will never take his name seriously)

You are definitely going to be in a worse situation if you ignore Mikey. It's not that he's going to get angry or anything, he becomes more delusional.

He deludes himself into believing you're a god, so if you ignore him, it triggers him into thinking he needs to prove his worth before you give him the privilege of acknowledgment. Additionally, he'll find you even more divine.

He'll prove his worth in a multitude of ways; praising you, doing services, creating a literal book named "Ways to not Upset your God Lover <3". His chaos is terrifying, and it might be the best option to give a sentence to him occasionally otherwise he'll commit crimes far worse than you would ever think of.

If you don't, well let's just say...He'll burn people alive and leave a heart for every place he visits.

Here's one thing I want to express about Mikey. He also has a low chance of kidnapping. It may sound odd, but in my terms, I believe he thinks you're greater than him so it is his duty to follow every word you say. The reason I suppose he could kidnap you is that he wants to be closer.

If he does kidnap you, just say something like, "I want to go home" and he'll deliver you like he's a worker of Jeff Bezos. His mind is easy to figure out.

"Oh hi, baby! Don't mind the scorched-up wood here, just leaving a mark for the world to know my love for you~"

There are a few remains of the body left on the ground...

——————————————————

This was fun. I love analyses so much it's an addiction lmao

- Celina

[paragonrobits]

so some unhappy news; apparently my living situation is abruptly WAY more uncertain than I thought.

A couple days ago, after spending thanksgiving at my dad's place, he apparently messaged my brother and told him that he and his wife (who have been married for quite a long time, since I was living on the street with my mom) are getting a divorce and they can't afford to pay for our apartment, which until this point had been mostly paid for by my monthly income plus a few hundred dollars from them. Evidentally they can't or won't make our rent payment for next month; at the moment its still unclear.

He's telling my brother to get a job, and my brother is trying to explain to him that he has been trying but even if he got one right now he wouldn't get a paycheck in time to make rent.

So, that's the broad strokes. Some more specific wrinkles are here.

Right before we left, we spent about a night with them and things were fine. No one was arguing and things were perfectly okay, so I have no idea why this suddenly came up. Indeed, the previous night my dad's wife was talking to my brother about how they could only afford to pay until May of next year, which was simply went the lease ended and I have NO IDEA what is going on. Did things abruptly change over the SINGLE NIGHT since then??

We're not sure if this is genuine or if they're just trying to do scare tactics to spook my brother into job hunting and take up a job that he really doesn't want to do or is mentally distressing for him. For what its worth I've seen posts on my dad's facebook about feeling alone so it probably IS genuine, to some degree, but he's not answering any comments and is being frustratingly vague.

My brother made a facebook post mentioning the situation (though not the divorce) in vague terms and asked for help from family to host us. My dad immediately asked him to take it down and just said 'we'll discuss it later' so I have no idea what's going on. I'm ASSUMING he'll make some kind of arrangement but in the short term i have no idea what's going on or what we will end up doing. Mostly I'm just getting extremely incensed about him not saying anything until the last minute, as its the 26th as I write this and rent is due on the 1st or 3rd of the month (probably the 1st).

I think my best chance in the short term is first trying to find a friend of my brother's or family willing to at least hold onto our stuff, since we recently got more of our stuff in here right before this went down and we need some place to store it all. Then we need to find family to host us for the interim and figure things out from there, and it would probably be a good idea to get onto Section 8 for the time being, though that will take time to process if they even accept me, let alone my brother as well.

Mostly worried about my cat. While I am greatly concerned for my computer, which was a gift from my brother's friend I cannot replace (both of our computers were made with high grade things that we certainly couldn't get for ourselves) but while we can't carry them around with us, it shouldn't be hard to find someone to hold onto them for us. I'm more concerned about my cat's well being, since I refuse to be separated from her or given the choice of surrendering her. I'm more concerned for her than anything else.

Mostly just. What the fuck. Everything seemed fine before we left; no one was arguing, everyone was getting along, my dad's step-kids are all there and dependent on him (my oldest step-brother's wife is due to have a baby some time this coming month) and I don't have any idea why they're planning on separating. Just. WHAT THE FUCK.

If this is an elaborate mind game I am going to be pissed, if you wanted to tell my brother that you can't afford to keep paying for this apartment that's fine, just SAY SO. If its not then they're making some incredibly awful life decisions impacting other people.

if I'm not being particularly chatty for a while this is the reason why, things are getting complicated!!

[kitkatopinions]

People really out there acting like the lackluster queer rep isn't tied to the fact that RT is a bigoted piece of shit company huh. Fucking wild lol.

Also really funny how they ignored the fact that you've talked about and reblogged posts about that RT being a bigoted, abusive piece of shit company. What, are you not allowed to talk about one of the multiple ways RT sucks when she's already covered all of the other crap they've done several times over? Do you need a disclaimer on every post that goes over all of RT's crimes?

Actually maybe we're onto something! Maybe you could add a long list of RT's crimes to every post so no one who reads them can escape from being reminded that RT is a vile, morally-bankrupt company that only cares about taking your money. :D Just really rub in that guilt for anyone who's even remotely defending anything RT does!

People will do whatever they can to pretend that 'RT' and 'CRWBY' have absolutely no overlap and that 'RT' and 'RT Higher Ups' has nothing to do with 'RWBY.' Why? Because they personally can't justify supporting RT in any way, they can't justify watching RT made stuff without being critical of it, and they can't justify enjoying something made by and influenced by RT. So they have to pretend that RWBY somewhere is entirely separate and entirely pure and entirely above criticism and that CRWBY is entirely wholly 'Not a part of RT' and that RWBY being on Crunchyroll is proof that watching RWBY doesn't help RT or bad business practices in any way. (btw I personally don't believe that watching or liking RWBY is bad, it's not the exact same thing as Harry Potter, I think talking about and liking RWBY is perfectly fine just so long as you acknowledge that it isn't perfect and are willing to critically analyze it as part of Rooster Teeth.)

And it's really funny because every time I'm like "what about the existence of Miles Luna" every so called progressive anti-rwde RWBY loving fan suddenly just be like

Somehow, me calling out Miles Luna or pointing out how he was the head of animation at Rooster Teeth - aka, a RT Higher Up - for literal years, is something that they just never happen to see, so they can go on pretending that RWBY and RT don't overlap at all.

These people will say I'm being biphobic for pointing out the difference between coding and confirmation despite being a bisexual woman with tons of queer ships who writes queer fanfictions where I make ninety percent of my favorite characters including Blake and Yang openly and unapologetically bisexual and despite the fact that I'm actually actively pushing for more and better queer confirmation... And then when I say "hey by the way remember how Miles Luna told a 'funny' story about how his drunk girlfriend was making out with a friend and he and other guys stood around oogling it because it was just so hot that it made them super turned on and then went on to say that he wasn't threatened by it like he would be if they were men because women didn't have what he had?' They just shut their eyes and put their hands over their ears going "la la la la la" and never once condemn that or even acknowledge it and then will turn around and post on their own blog about how rwde posters are bullying poor helpless progressive Miles Luna for being brave enough to have two women hold hands and look at each other long enough to make fans feel like they might kiss next season.

These people will say that rwde posters are secretly misogynists for saying we want Jaune to be less involved in the show and then when I'm like "hey, do you guys remember when Miles made tweets calling Tifa Lockhart a prostitute for wearing clothes he said were 'somethin' else' and do you remember when he made a youtube video called 'video games for your girlfriends' where he basically said women were too dumb to play hard video games but if you tricked her into thinking she was doing okay at a simple one, maybe she'd jerk you off? And do you remember when people posted pictures of him happily lounging with a body pillow of a then sixteen year old Ruby with the caption 'careful miles, she's still only sixteen' and I think he liked the tweet instead of being like 'what the fuck?' And also I don't know much about it but he apparently made a podccast called 'Fan Service' with Gray Haddock and that doesn't sound super feminist" And they once again just ignore me completely and pretend they didn't see that part of my post and then turn around and be like "well my latest interaction with RWDE has proven that they DOUBLY hate women because they HATE the guy who made the pixels that are named Ruby Rose look like a woman!"

These people will tell me that I don't care enough about RT's controversies and bigotry despite the fact that I've talked about it over and over and reblogged other blogs talking about it over and over (including a post where I told people to be careful to not harass random voice actors and animators demanding answers because the problem was clearly people who were higher up) because I don't post about it all the time without ever mentioning RWBY again (wonder why they want that -_-) but then when I'm like "Hey guys, remember the fact that Miles Luna the person who helped create RWBY and has been like one of the lead writers since RWBY's creation was also a literal Rooster Teeth higher up who was head of animation for years AKA a Rooster Teeth Higher Up," they again just fucking ignore that. And then turn around and post about how RWDE posters don't care enough about animators somehow and how we're being mean to the poor defenseless indefinable 'crwby.'

Anti-rwdes do not give a shit about misogyny, they do not give a shit about queer representation, they do not give a shit about the endless controversies of RT, they do not give a shit about examining the content made by horrible people, they do not give a shit about making sure bigots don't get platformed, they do not give a shit about even acknowledging things that are problematic. They only want the media they like to be considered above criticism so that they can watch it without feeling any bad feelings.

[russiandoll-from-brooklyn]

Just Once - Part 2

Title: Just Once - Part 2

Some of y'all were asking for Part 2 of Just Once so here ya go! This picks up right after the first story.

Pairing: Tony Stark x fem!reader

Summary: Grief and loneliness got the best of you last night. Your friendship with Tony was too precious to risk, and now all you want to do is move on. But what happens when the other party doesn't want to forget?

Warnings: smut, language, (technically) cheating, friends to lovers, mentions of past canon trauma, oral (f receiving), protected sex

Word Count: 5.1k

[Starts out sweet and all about tony x reader friendship, then turns into steamy Tony smut. Table sex, included. 😳]

---

Thump, thump, thump.

Your feet hit the pavement rhythmically as you jog your normal morning route. It’s a misty Seattle morning, and the world is still quiet. The sun is rising sleepily, beginning to bathe the world in gold. All is well.

Except. It isn’t.

You turn the block corner, and your apartment comes into sight. You take a glance down at your watch.

42 minutes.

That’s how long ago you had quietly slipped out of your apartment for your morning run. That’s how long it had been since your eyes shot open and you remembered the events of last night, rushing into your mind, all at once like a tsunami. You had turned your head to find Tony still asleep beside you in the bed. One leg sticking out of the messy sheets and his face buried in the pillow. Your pillow.

You had stared at him in disbelief, half-expecting him to disintegrate into a fleeting figment of your imagination. You had rubbed your eyes, trying to clear the haze.

Nope. Still there.

You silently curse yourself and your stupidity (see: weakness in the face of sexual temptation) for the 50th time this morning as you approach the brick building. Perhaps, when you reenter your apartment, Tony will be gone, and this will all have just been a bad trip — or something of the like.

Before you even open the door, the smell of frying bacon reaches your nose. You step inside and are greeted by a peculiar sight.

Tony Stark, clad in nothing but a pair of dark jeans, is buzzing about your small kitchenette. Simultaneously, there are eggs being flipped over-easy on the stovetop, orange juice being procured from the open fridge, bacon sizzling happily in a pan, and toast being buttered. You stand in amazement for a few seconds, processing the scene before you. The wonderful aroma of the all-American breakfast makes you mouth water.

“Y/N! Hey!” Tony exclaims when he sees you.

You slide onto a stool at the bar top, overlooking the controlled chaos unfolding in the kitchen area. Tony truly has remarkable skill when it comes to multitasking. You guess, all that time in the suit, operating about twenty computing systems at once, was good practice.

“Wow. Breakfast?” you remark, raising an eyebrow. “Since when do you cook?”

He scoffs, shooting you a brief smile before turning away to rapidly crack some black pepper onto the eggs.

“Cooking is easy. People think it’s a skill, but really it’s just planning, timing it out. It’s like assembling anything else. You just do the parts in order, trying not to break any yolks.”

You roll your eyes sarcastically at the classic “Tony” response.

Suddenly, all the components come crashing together, and Tony is setting down two perfectly assembled breakfast plates on the bar top — complete with a glass of orange juice for each of you. It looks delicious; it’s been way too long since you had a proper breakfast. Meaning, a breakfast that wasn’t cereal, a protein bar, or a bowl of sad, pale, scrambled eggs. You thank Tony as he pulls up the other stool to sit across from you.

“Dig in,” he says cheerfully, raising his fork. “Good run this morning?”

You nod, taking a big gulp of orange juice.

“Yeah, I heard you leaving,” Tony continues mindlessly. “Kind of weird waking up to an empty bed after a night like that. I finally know what it feels like to be on the other side, I guess.”

You nearly spit out your bite of toast. And just like that, reality comes crashing back down to earth. For a brief moment, it had felt like things could possibly come out normal on the other side. You and Tony could go back to being perfectly normal best friends.

How ignorant.

“What?” you remark incredulously.

You’re on the verge of laughter, partially out of amusement but mostly out of bewildered embarrassment.

Tony gives you his award-winning “I’m innocent!” raised-eyebrow expression. You suddenly become acutely aware of the situation. Tony Stark is sitting in your kitchen, shirtless, serving you breakfast. After you spent a far-from-platonic night rolling around your sheets together. You want to slap yourself.

“I’m talking about the incredible sex we had last night. And then, you leaving me alone before sunrise,” Tony explains casually, pushing your buttons further. “That's usually my play.”

He looks up at you, expecting a playful quip in return. Instead, you just slowly set down the fork you had been gripping.

“Tony,” you begin, seriously and calmly. “Let’s not talk about it. It was one night, and it won’t happen again. It was just once. We gave into the moment, but we shouldn’t-“

“The moment?” Tony suddenly blurts out, interrupting you. You purse your lips, surprised by the new and unexpected edge of anger in his voice. “God. Y/N. The moment, huh? You’re really just going to shrink it down to that. Just a moment.”

You stare at him, confused. Tony’s big brown eyes hold yours with an intensity. It's amazing how fast his sarcastic, playful tone can morph into ferocity. You want to look away, break his gaze, but you can’t. This whole thing was a mistake.

“It was fun,” you finally say. “But it was just a fuck. We were lonely.”

“You know, Y/N. You’re so damn smart,” Tony replies, leaning back a bit in his seat. “So, why do you always try and kid yourself? It bothers me. I know -- that you know -- that this wasn’t just a fuck.”

Your mind races through a million different responses.

Then, what was it?

What do you mean?

Why are you acting like this?

I'm not kidding myself.

But something tells you, deep down, that there's nothing you can say that won't lead to something you don't want to hear.

So, instead, you angrily snatch up your glass of orange juice, rising from your seat at the bar. You grit your teeth at Tony one more time before turning your back and striding toward to your study. You feel your cheeks burning hot.

The study is a second living room-sized space where you keep all your projects. Early sunlight is now streaming in through the large windows, falsely giving the impression of a peaceful Saturday morning. The large wooden table tops are littered with wires, microchips, and other electronic parts. When you first met the Avengers year ago, you and Tony butted heads over your shared expertise in technology and robotics. After much bickering and trying to outdo each other, you eventually accepted one another's intelligence and bonded over your shared field.

You look to the floor of your large study to see the air mattress you had set up there prior to Tony's arrival yesterday, obviously still pristine. You squeeze your eyes shut. Your apartment is absolutely dripping with reminders of last night's events. The empty whiskey glasses, still sitting on the side table in the living room. The couch pillows crumpled from the weight of your bodies, hungrily crashing together above them. You don't even want to think about your bedroom, where you're sure Tony's missing shirt is strewn on the ground.

You push the thoughts out of your your mind, pulling up a seat at your work table. You start to fiddle with a new lightweight shoulder pauldron you're currently designing. You can feel yourself going into 'shut-out' mode, trying your hardest to focus all your attention on the metal in your hands. This was all too much. This was all wrong.

When you hear footsteps behind you, entering the study, you ignore it. Tony quietly traverses the floor, coming to pull up a chair on the other side of the work table. He silently watches you working the wires into place. You don't look up. You don't have to see his expression to know the contemplative expression undoubtably painted on his face. You also don't have to look at him to know he's pondering more than just your work.

"You know, aluminum-titantium alloy won't hold up after a few heavy hits," Tony comments, nodding to the armor piece.

"I'm gonna chromatize it," you reply dryly, not looking up from your hands.

"I wouldn't bother. You can't just give everything a shiny coat to hold it together. If the problem is underneath, that is."

Fuck Tony and his fucking metaphors.

You growl angrily, throwing the pauldron down in frustration. You sit back in your seat and cross your arms, finally meeting your friend's eyes.

"Ok, fine," you say matter-of-factly. "Let's talk about it. It was good. It was really fucking good. And we both needed it. But that's it. I'm willing to leave it at that and forget about it if you are."

Tony rubs his beard in his palm, seemingly mulling over your words. His brown eyes don't leave yours. The warm sunlight coming in through the window behind him paints yellow patches on his bare shoulders, bathing him in gold. You take a mental picture of him, sitting there in his thoughts. A brief, intrusive thought passes through your mind, threatening that this could be the last time you see him. You immediately banish the notion. This friendship means too much to you. Not even a fuck-up as big as this one could make you want to toss it away. You hope Tony agrees.

"Help me understand where your head's at, Y/N," Tony finally replies. "What is your biggest concern right now? Wait, listen, I know there's a lot of reasons why last night was bad. But I want to know what you're thinking."

You sigh, uncrossing your arms. As much as Tony's 'list-and-analyze' reaction to crisis could be annoying, in some ways, it comforted you. Tony is impulsive, yes, but those who know him best also know his calculative nature: the mental risk assessments, the contingency plans labelled through Z. Always searching for the route that will hurt everyone the least. Always.

You consider his question carefully. Again, there's a million answers: the risk of ruining your friendship, the potential awkwardness, Pepper -- oh, god, Pepper --, the pain and grief you've both been through in the past few years. You close your eyes and pick one.

"You're one of the only people left that I trust. One of my only friends. Complexity doesn't often end well."

"You're right," Tony admits. "But aren't you the one who asked, 'is it wrong to not want to be alone'?"

You scoff loudly, angered by his using your words against you. However, that bitterness melts away into nothing when you see the heart-wrenching expression on Tony's face. His lips are pursed, and his eyes are searching yours desperately. Tony rarely shows outward weakness, but right now, the man before you isn't Iron Man. The man before you is broken. Someone who has tried everything to hold it -- his sanity, his relationship, his life -- together, to save the people he loves, to be strong. Someone who failed at that. Someone who truly felt alone.

You rest your chin in your palms and sigh, the weight falling over you as well.

Finally, you speak.

"Isn't it awful -- and strange -- how it can feel like a lifetime ago and just yesterday at the exact same time?"

Tony nods sadly at your observation. Of course, you were talking about the snap. About Thanos.

"You're right. About everything," he remarks. "Sometimes, it just gets too much. The...”

Loneliness. You finish his sentence in your head.

“Me too.”

“You should know though,” Tony continues. “I would never stop being your friend. No matter how complex things are. This — what we’ve been through — could never change, Y/N.”

There it is.

Some situations feel like you're running in circles; you're spiraling downwards and everything you say only makes matters worse and worse. It feels like sinking in quicksand with no way out. In every one of those situations, there's a key -- that one sentence, that one idea, that effortlessly clears the fog. This was it. Tony is going to be here, always. Everything is going to be alright.

You straighten up a bit in your seat. You let out a long sigh and give Tony a small smile.

"I know," you assure your friend. "Sometimes I forget everything that's happened. How complicated it's been before. How we made it out."

Tony laughs, and you're relived.

"How could you forget? It's been a wild ride."

The two of you grin at each other. You take a sip of your orange juice, which you had forgotten about and was now lukewarm.

"OK, happy?" you inquire with a playful tone. "Base material fixed. No need for shiny coats of anything. We're solid now."

Tony lets out a hearty chuckle at the stupid analogy. Suddenly, he stands, circling the work table until he's right in front of you. You suck in a breath of oxygen. From your seated position, your head only comes up to his abs. Bare abs, that is. You tilt your face upwards to meet his eyes.

"Y/N," he says gently. “Stand up.”

Confused, you rise to your feet. Before you can open your mouth to say anything else, Tony’s lean and muscular arms are wrapped around you. He pulls you into his chest, embracing you in his warmth. His grip is firm, as if he’s afraid you might run away. You soften into the hug, wrapping your arms around his back. You feel safe.

After a few moments, Tony releases you. However, he doesn’t move away, and the two of you are still nearly chest-to-chest. You peer up at him, and your friend’s warm toffee eyes meet yours.

“Wow, a Tony Stark hug?” you remark sarcastically. “I should play the lotto today.”

Tony chuckles under his breath. Despite your joking, it was true that Tony rarely gives hugs. He just isn’t the touchy-feely type — according to himself. Somehow this gesture, right now, meant everything. A hug was the most intimate thing Tony could have given you. It was a seal, a mark saying ‘I meant every word I just said.’

Tony is still standing directly in front of you, so close there’s only a magazine’s width between you. He’s so near that you can feel the warmth of his steady breathing, and the slight radiating heat from the arc reactor in his chest. Suddenly, you feel that familiar tug in your stomach. A rush of blood downwards...

“Tony-“

“Do you want me?” Tony cuts you off. His voice is low, gentle.

You suck in a breath of air at his words. Despite his directness, there's a detectable edge of nervousness in his tone. You smile internally at knowing you have this effect on Mr. Playboy. The slight uncertainty in Tony's voice also tells you that it's true: this is different. Last night was not just a mindless fuck. This is an understanding, wrapped around a mutual care that runs so deep that it burns.

You don’t even try to convince yourself that you don’t want Tony. Every ounce of your being is screaming to close the gap between you. You can still hear the scientist-logic-brain in you resisting, but your heart feels at ease. You and Tony. A concept that felt like the forbidden fruit itself just ten minutes ago now looked more like an oasis. And oasis that was maybe alright to take a drink from every once in a while.

You snake one hand upward to hold his cheek. Tony pushes gently into your palm.

It's you who leans in first. When your lips collide, it's soft. He presses himself into you, a delicate sigh escaping. You pull back just enough to whisper a breathy "I want you."

And oh, god do you want him.

“Then, have me,” Tony whispers back, gently.

You nearly visibly shiver. Any trace of hesitation is gone from his voice now. His words are demanding, but his tone is more of a plea.

“Do you want to go the bedroom?”

“No,” Tony replies immediately. He’s breathless. “Right here.”

You immediately feel wetness drop into your panties. Tony’s eyes have grow darker, as they bear down at you. The intensity makes your legs feel weak. You need him. He needs you.

In a moment of boldness, you bring your hands down to the hemline of your shirt. You lift the garment up and over your head, placing it on the work table beside you. Tony’s eyes wander to your red sports bra and your now-stiffened nipples showing through the sleek fabric.

In the next breath, Tony is suddenly kissing you again, his lips against yours in a desperate hunger. He brings his large, roughly calloused hands to your waist. He firmly grips your body, making you feel tiny in his hold. You let a small moan escape your lips.

Still holding you in his grasp, Tony starts to walk you backwards until your backside is pressed against the edge of your large work table. Tony’s hips press forward into you, making you gasp with excitement. You fingertips tangle in his hair, just wanting more and more and more...

In an effortless movement, Tony lifts your sports bra over your head. He throws the red fabric to the side, neither of you caring where it lands. Tony breaks away from your lips, starting to kiss down your cheek, jaw, and then finally giving attention to the delicate skin on your neck. Again, he’s careful not to nip or suck too hard to leave marks. The light scratching of his facial hair contrasts with the soft wetness of Tony’s lips, making you throw your head back in pleasure.

He continues to attend to your neck and jaw as one of his jean-clad thighs moves to fall between your legs. You let out a deep groan as Tony begins to rub and and roll his knee forward, stimulating your clothed core. His movements are like a wave, every forward crest bringing you a tiny bit of that friction your body wants so, so much. You’re in awe of the control Tony has over his movements and the effortless pleasure he’s capable of giving. You can’t help but find his experience and expertise sexy.

“Y/N,” Tony breathes against your neck. “Say it again. Please. Say you want me.”

It occurs to you that, aside from last night, Tony hasn’t felt wanted in a long time. Like, truly wanted. A pang of sadness fills your heart.

“Tony. I want you,” you declare, making sure the conviction in your voice shines through. You don’t have to try. You desire him more than anything right now. “I want you. I want this.”

With your words, Tony moans deeply into your jawline and begins to move his leg between yours more vigorously. Your fingertips trace over his bare back muscles. You trail your hands upward, into the nape of his neck, massaging his scalp. Everything about his beautiful form fits perfectly in your hands.

Tony continues moving downwards, soon finding your right nipple in his mouth. You arch your back, letting a loud moan escape your lips. He works your nipple expertly, rolling it and playing at it with his tongue. He alternates to your other nipple, his thumb replacing where his mouth just left. He lightly strokes the hard, spit-slick bud, and the combination of coolness and friction is heaven.

Tony stands back up, and a second later, his hands are at the elastic band of your running shorts. His eyes meet yours for a moment, silently asking for your permission. You nod a bit too eagerly, and Tony cracks a small, teasing smile. You scoff and lightly slap his shoulder, returning the smile.

Tony pulls your shorts down in one swift motion, leaving you in just your underwear. Next thing you know, Tony’s arms are around your waist. You let out a soft, surprised squeal as he lifts you effortlessly to sit on the edge of the work table behind you. Slightly elevated now, you come to about the same height as Tony.

“Hey,” you protest playfully. “Be careful. There’s important stuff here.”

Tony reaches behind you to clear the area, moving your half-finished projects and parts to the side.

“My apologies, Ms. Y/L/N,” he replies with a huge grin. “Got a bit carried away.”

You pull him into another deep kiss. He growls with pleasure when you nip at his bottom lip. Tony is now standing between your knees, his torso pressing gently into your panty-covered pussy. You can feel his erection through his jeans, straining against his clothes. After seeing Tony’s length for the first time last night, the mental image of his cock — just a few millimeters away from your core — is enough to make you drool. You wrap your legs around him, pulling him in harder against you. He moans into your mouth, and you feel the vibrations as your tongues tangle together.

You feel Tony’s body leaning forward, slowly coaxing you to lay down on the table. Now fully on your back, Tony’s above you, taking in the sight of your body.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re the most magnificent creature on Earth?”

“No,” you reply with a smirk. “But now, knowing how many other planets are out there in the galaxy, just being Miss Earth doesn’t seem like a huge deal.”

Tony laughs, smiling with his teeth. You find the crinkles that form on the outer corners of his eyes utterly endearing.

“Well, you’re still one out of four-and-three-quarters billion,” he jests back. “Not too shabby. It’s all about the little victories.”

You giggle. The pleasant thought passes through your mind that despite the current situation, everything does feel strangely normal. Tony is still Tony; you’re still you. The banter between you and your friend is still comfortable and easy. Your relationship, although maybe morphing into something more nuanced, remains unmoved.

You’re so caught up in your inner thoughts, that you don’t register Tony kneeling to the ground between your legs. You gasp when you feel his warm mouth over your still-clothed pussy. The combined wetness of his mouth and your core easily soaks through the fabric of your panties, making it cling to your skin. Tony runs his tongue over your folds, through the saturated cloth. You groan with pleasure, the small of your back arching off of the table. You grip Tony’s dark hair, needing something to hold onto.

The sensation of Tony’s lips and tongue through your thin panties is completely unique, and fuck, does it drive you wild.

After a few minutes, Tony’s hands reach up to hook in the waist of your panties. He removes your final garment, leaving you fully bare. His mouth immediately returns to your pussy. His tongue circles your clit, before running downwards through your lips, and then back up again. He alternates this pattern with gentle sucks on your clit.

“Oh, Tony. Shit,” you manage to call out. “That feels so good.”

He hums hungrily into you, pleasuring you to a level that no previous lovers have ever come close to. Tony’s large, rough hands wander upwards. One palm gentle grips your breast, while the other comes under your waist to hold the small of your back.

You raise your head slightly to glance down at Tony. The sight is pornographic. His face is buried in your cunt, head bobbing. The shape of his shoulder muscles, and his strong back. His tan skin, all bathed in golden sunlight.

Pleasuring you. On his knees.

It’s like a painting. Beautiful and erotic.

“Tony. I need you,” you gasp out, suddenly overcome with neediness. “Inside me. Fuck, I want you.”

Those magic words, again. I want you. The effect they have on Tony is instantaneous. Without hesitation, Tony is on his feet. He swiftly unbuttons his jeans and pulls down the zipper. His pants fall down to his ankles where he kicks them off. To your surprise his naked cock springs free. A glistening pearl of precum is formed at the tip.

“Wow, commando, huh?” you tease, gently biting at your bottom lip. “You were so confident you were going to get lucky again today?”

“Of course not. I just like to let it breath sometimes,” Tony remarks. “You wouldn’t get it. It’s a man thing.”

You scoff and roll your eyes sarcastically. Lovable idiot.

“Top drawer?” Tony asks, referring to the location of the condoms.

“On the left.”

Tony hurries out of the room and returns a second later with a condom from your bedroom. Stepping closer between your knees, he gives his cock a few pumps in his fist. You can feel your heart quickening with anticipation. Your pussy is nearly pulsing, needing to be stretched and filled.

Tony rips open the shiny wrapper and rolls the condom down onto his length. You scoot slightly closer to the edge of the table as his hands travel to grip your thighs. You moan deeply as Tony rubs the head of his cock over your slit, spreading your moisture.

“Are you ready?” Tony asks, eyes dark with desire.

“Mmhmm,” you hum. “Make me feel good.”

With that, Tony starts slowly pushing into your dripping pussy. You groan as your walls accommodate to his girth. It’s amazing that you took him just last night, and he’s already capable of stretching you like this again. Tony throws his head back, hissing in pleasure as he bottoms out, his pubic mound flush against yours.

He starts pumping gently. The way Tony’s hips roll forward in fluid motions makes you want to scream with pleasure. His hands are gripping your thighs tightly, fingertips digging into the soft flesh.

Tony’s pace quickens, and soon the room is filled with sounds of wetness, skin slipping on skin, and the moans leaving both your throats. One of Tony’s hands moves to your pussy. His thumb rubs tight circles on your clit making you see stars behind your eyes. The extra stimulation almost immediately starts tightening the orgasmic coil in your stomach. Tony seems to know the exact speed to move his cock and thumb to turn you into a whimpering mess beneath him.

“Oh, more,” you groan, your pleasure growing. “Tony Stark. Yes, oh, please.”

“Come for me, Y/N,” Tony growls almost primally. “Wanna feel you squeezing around my cock.”

Tony’s filthy demands go straight to your pussy. You love the feeling of being under him, sprawled out on the table, completely naked for him to fuck. And the dirty talk is the cherry on top.

The pleasure in your abdomen continues to rise until you’re on the edge of ecstasy. With one last thrust, your orgasm washes over you. You scream Tony’s name into the room, not caring who hears. Pulses of pleasure rip through your entire body, even making your feet tingle. When you come down, the convulsions slowing, your head feels fuzzy and bubbly.

Not even a moment later, you feel Tony lifting your legs higher. Still inside you, he straightens them, bringing your ankles to rest on his shoulders. The new sensation is instantly nirvana. He starts pumping into you, and the head of his cock rubs your G-spot on every thrust. Penetrative sex had never felt this good for you.

“You feel so fucking amazing, Y/N,” Tony manages to says between moans. “I’m not gonna last much longer.”

The feeling of your pussy being pounded in this angle has your eyes rolling back into your skull. All your thoughts seem to leave your head. The only thing you can focus on is the immense pleasure. The sound of Tony’s balls slapping against you wetly with every stroke combined with his desperate moans fill your ears.

Tony’s thrusts start to become more jagged, needy. His moans slowly transform more into whimpers as he continues to fuck into you. Suddenly, Tony comes with a series of loud groans, his eyes shut tight. You feel his dick pulsating inside you as he orgasms. He thrusts a few more times, riding out the last waves.

He gently slides out of you, his hands coming down the tabletop next to your waist to steady himself. Both of you are breathing heavily, your bodies radiating with the afterglow of pleasure.

Silently, Tony helps you to stand before sweeping you up easily in his arms. You lean into his chest as he carries you to the bedroom. Tony lays you down carefully on the cool mattress before hurrying to the bathroom. He returns a moment later with a warm washcloth.

After cleaning yourselves up, Tony crawls into the refreshing sheets beside you. He slips one arm under your neck, and you cuddle in closer to his body. The warmth and smoothness of his skin is so, so welcoming. In the strangest way, it feels natural.

“I didn’t think it was possible to top last night,” you finally say, chuckling.

“Me neither,” Tony replies. “I guess we just have good chemistry.”

“Who would’ve thought?” You laugh and drape an arm over his chest. “Hey, question.”

“Ask away.”

“Why did you cook all that stuff earlier? Like the eggs, toast, the whole nine yards. It was sort of...”

“Out of character?” Tony finishes your sentence.

You nod. Tony takes a deep breath, exhaling loudly.

“Honestly, when I woke up, and you were gone, I was freaking out a little bit. I wanted to talk about last night, but you weren’t there, and I just didn’t know what you were thinking. If you were having serious regrets, or if you were angry, or upset with me. Or if you were thinking our whole friendship was burned to the ground.

“I just needed to do something. Anything. Busy my hands, distract my mind. Sorry that I kind of raided your kitchen.”

You turn to peer up at him, letting out a soft laugh. His chocolate eyes meet yours, and you give him a kind smile, endeared by his typical, hyper ramblings.

“I’m sorry I left,” you start. “I was freaking out a little, too. I guess that’s always been a difference between us. I always try to run from the unknown, while you just want to plow straight through it.”

Tony smiles warmly and blinks his gorgeous, thick black eyelashes at you.

“It’s why we make a good pair. Balance. Yin and yang. Ya’ know.”

You both chuckle, content in one another’s arms. You open your mouth to reply, but you’re cut off by a loud growl from your stomach. Tony bursts into laughter.

“Your fault for barely touching breakfast,” Tony remarks playfully. “Which — not to toot my own horn — was quite artfully made.”

“I guess I could settle for a bowl of lowly cereal as punishment,” you reply with mock sadness.

Tony chuckles and shakes his head. He starts to rise from the bed, then offers his hand for you to follow.

“C’mon, I’ll make you some more eggs.”

[makeste]

im honestly scared for whats going to happen next. while i have no doubt that bakugou is the one who knows deku best, this is the first time hes reached out to him for dekus benefit. he understands him but most likely doesnt really know how to communicate with him. what they desperately need is an adult to help talk deku down instead of fighting him, but since most of the adults have proven themselves useless in this, I'm worried whats going to happen.

I meant to reply to this ask sooner, but it didn't really come together that way, so my apologies. the manga itself will probably provide a better answer than this within the next 24 hours, assuming the leaks come out as scheduled.

but in the meantime, I do want to say that I don't think there's any cause for worry here. the Kacchan of the past may have had difficulties communicating with Deku, because he never really understood the why of why Deku was doing things (so even though he's always been fairly good at predicting Deku's actions -- "don't come, Deku" -- he never really understood what was driving him to take those actions). but the Kacchan of the present definitely knows what he's doing imo.

there are two important things to keep in mind here. the first is that we know from past arcs that Katsuki is capable of remarkable insight when it comes to finding the right approach to reach out to someone.

what's notable about this scene from the Remedial arc is the way that he anticipates which approaches are not going to work. he's not the one to come up with the final plan, but he is the one to say to the others, "look, if we don't do this right, the kids are going to react like this, instead of like this." definitely something which I'd say is applicable to the current situation as well.

and the other thing to keep in mind is that if this chapter established anything, it's that Kacchan knows Deku better than anyone else.

he knew exactly how Deku was going to react. honestly we might as well have called this chapter "the nice and accurate prophecies of Kacchan." either that or, "I'm fine," after what is apparently Deku's favorite new mantra.

but anyway, so we've established that Kacchan canonically approaches situations like this with great care and anticipation for how the would-be-rescuee will react, and we've also established that Kacchan can predict Deku's reactions in particular with incredible accuracy. so given that, I think it's reasonable to assume that Kacchan has a plan here, and that there's a reason behind his specific choice of words.

"wow, real inspiring! all hail the mighty inheritor of One for All! but tell us this... are you smiling now?"

"do your worst, you All Might wannabe!!"

and this is the part where I was originally planning on writing out a much longer post, but for various reasons it never really came together. so I'll just try to summarize everything with bullet points instead.

the theme here is "OFA is a cursed power." this is something that has been steadily building up and intensifying for a while now. the past OFA users all died young. AFO drives them all into isolation and misery. the Vestiges think of OFA as a power that "is tasked with destroying AFO." Deku is now the last and only one left who can wield that power. it is a massive burden, and Deku believes that he has to carry that burden alone.

Katsuki knows exactly what is running through Deku's head right now, and has been anticipating this for a while. he read All Might's notebook. he knows what happened to all of the other OFA users. and he knows Deku well enough to understand that he fits right in with that legacy. back during the chapter 284 flashback he was clearly worrying about this exact type of scenario.

fast-forward to chapters 318 and 319. he finally tracks down Deku, and finds him looking like a trash bag that got forced through a paper shredder, surrounded by an angry mob of brainwashed civilians and NOT EVEN FIGHTING BACK AT ALL, go fucking figure. so he basically confirms with a single glance that his fears were well-founded, and that in his absence Deku has made significant progress down the path of being a complete dumbass.

Ochako then tries to reach out to Deku through words, just like Endeavor and All Might did before her, but he predictably responds with the exact same phrase Katsuki knew that he would use -- "I'm fine."

at this point Katsuki has heard all he needed to hear. he knows Deku is not going to listen. he knows that Deku believes that he can't listen, because in Deku's mind he has a responsibility to handle this all on his own, and he's afraid of putting anyone else in danger. Deku is fully embracing the "I must walk this path alone" legacy of OFA, just like All Might before him. and so Katsuki knows two things:

in order to have any hope of reaching Deku, he has to get him to understand that the legacy he's embracing is deeply flawed, and that the path he's on right now is one which ends in death and defeat, just like it did the first seven times.

and second, Deku is going to fight them, because Deku is stubborn like that. and Deku thinks that he's doing this for them. and so in order to reach him, they will have to fight back. that's a done deal.

hence the jeer about OFA, along with the pointed remark about him not smiling. and then two seconds later Deku does of course reveal his intentions to fight, just like Katsuki knew he would. and so Katsuki accepts the challenge, and also throws in a bonus jab about how Deku is perfectly emulating All Might now, just as he always wanted -- except that what he's actually emulating are all of All Might's worst aspects. his insistence on carrying his burdens alone; his reluctance to accept anyone else's help; and of course, his determination to carry on to the bitter end until his body literally breaks down.

and that is not the fate that Katsuki wants for Deku. he needs Deku to see that this is the wrong path. he needs to find a way to break past his stubbornness, just like Deku did for him, and for Todoroki, and for so many others. and so he goes on the attack. because, in the same way that Deku is willing to fight them in order to save them, Katsuki is willing to do and say and fight anything and anyone in order to save Deku -- and that includes Deku himself.

so yeah. he knows what he's doing. and I am absolutely positive that everything he's doing and saying here does serve a purpose. he will find a way to reach him. literally all of his character development has been building to this moment. Deku saved him all those times so that now, when it matters the most, he can save him in return, and he's not going to fail him now.

[shotorozu]

Hi! Before anything I wanted to lyk I've read through some of your work and you've easily become one of my favorite writers :) I was wondering if you could do a bit of a comfort post? If not that's totally okay! If so, could it be hcs for Bakugo, Shinso, and maybe Aizawa (but not in like a relationship kinda way for him, like a student opening up to their teacher) telling them about being gender fluid? What would be their reactions? How would they adjust to the name change and using different pronouns? I recently told my bf and he didn't seem too up for it, eventually I told him to use my given name and she/her, kinda bummed lmao. I totally understand if you don't want to write for this, tysm either way! Have a great night/day :) (I'm so sorry this is so lengthy lmaooo)

reader coming out as gender fluid

character(s) : bakugou katsuki, shinsou hitoshi, aizawa shouta (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name, D/N = deadname] gender neutral, quirk not specific

headcanon type : hurt-comfort, fluff (x reader; platonic)

note(s) : first of all, i’m sorry about what happened with your boyfriend, if he cares about you, then he should’ve been supportive. it’s disheartening knowing that you decided to have him address you by your birth name, and by she/her. it should never be that way, especially when you felt comfortable coming out to HIM as gender fluid.

anon, i really hope this post gives you comfort, and if you want to talk— my dms are open!

»»————-　♡　————-««

bakugou katsuki

he wasn’t so sure on why you were acting all skittish all of a sudden, and he just wished you told him what was up

as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, katsuki really hates seeing you this down— and if only he could ‘kill those pesky emotions!!’

after a long day at school, katsuki decided to demand an immediate answer, on WHY you were acting like this

you express your concern, and even though katsuki’s rough words say otherwise— he’s willing to help (as much as he could)

but he wasn’t expecting you to come out as genderfluid

the entire pronoun thing had him confused, and it wasn’t in the “huh?? why would you want that?” type of confusion

it was rather like the “i thought they/them were plural pronouns?” confusion, but don’t be misguided! a quick google search fixed it up, and now he gets it.

with the name thing,, it took him two tries for him to get it right— but he’ll treat you like royalty if he accidentally slips up. he doesn’t mean to disrespect you

out of everyone here— he would be the most confused at first, since he hasn’t had anyone come out to him in like,, ever

katsuki feels so honored to have you feel comfortable enough to come out to him.

everyone is so intimidated by his short-tempered demeanor, to the point that no one has shared such an important, and personal detail to him

he’ll pull you in for a hug, large warm hands rubbing your back— and he’s trying to be gentle, okay?

“you really thought i was gonna say some bullshit about this, huh?” was what he first said to break the silence “i could care less about what you fucking identify with, you’re still you.”

and he means it

if anyone disrespects you, he’s blowing them up into space— enraged that anyone would try to disrespect you.

katsuki’s also very quick to correct someone if they ever deadname you “IT’S Y/N, NOT D/N!”

rip to them

shinsou hitoshi

as soon as he notices that something’s wrong, his eyes will be on you— and only you.

he wishes he had some sort of mind reading quirk— he wants to know what’s on your mind, just so he could help you

hitoshi doesn’t want to be pushy, so he can only wait for you to come to him— but he will leave subtle hints that you could tell him anything that was on your mind.

so that’s when you decide to tell him your worries, and everything— feeling that you’re ready to come out to him as gender fluid

a small genuine smile will grace his face, pulling you into a loose embrace— “thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell me.”

the next thing he does is ask you if you want to go by anything else— just in case you do want to be addressed differently.

you’ll still be his kitty anyway, so it’s not like this change would negatively affect him.

you’ll never catch him slipping up

i’m sure he’s probably familiar with different types of identities— so gender fluidity isn’t a stranger topic to him

so because of this, he adapts pretty easily— cooperating with the new revelations with ease

rip to anyone that has the audacity to deadname or misgender you, it’s not something he takes very lightly similar to bakugou and aizawa

he’ll understand if it’s a innocent mistake, but he still won’t be pleased with the offender— that’s strike one for him

i swear— his glare will make anyone shart their pants in a second. it’s ruthless

hitoshi won’t hesitate on using his quirk on anyone that purposely disrespects you— and for once, he doesn’t care about what others will say about him.

they shouldn’t have disrespected you 🤷‍♀️ just saying

if you wanted to buy clothes that were a lot more gender neutral, he’s perfectly fine with that too!

hitoshi doesn’t care if you strip him of every single penny and dime that was in his wallet for hoodies and sweatpants.

he just wants your happiness to be at it’s highest at all times— because a happy Y/N makes a happy hitoshi <3

aizawa shouta

even though he has to take care and supervise 23 growing teenagers, he still manages to notice if something’s wrong with one of them it’s impressive!

of course— aizawa’s a busy man, and he’s constantly tired. but, it would make him feel a lot better if all of his students were content with themselves

so seeing you down was something he noticed since the moment you came in

it’s not like he could FORCE you to tell him what was wrong, that’s not the approach he’s looking for

and besides, if you told him that everything was fine, then he couldn’t really push it. his concern didn’t really die down though

a few days later, aizawa decides to talk to you again— basically consenting you to come talk to him when the time’s right

but he didn’t see this coming

so that’s when you decide to come out to him first, spilling out your concerns, and the worries that plagued your mind— worried that people wouldn’t accept your new identity as a gender fluid person

now, aizawa has met a lot of people in his life. from different ages, people with different quirks, and of course— different identities

he asks you why you decided to tell him first, and you told him that it’s because you felt comfortable knowing he knew first

“thank you for telling me, Y/N” he thanks you calmly with a comforting hand on your shoulder “i’m proud of you.”

he asks you if you want to go by a different name, and he’ll make sure to start calling you by that name (even though he calls all of his students by their last name)

oh, and he immediately switches pronouns! i know that should be expected but,, it’s so natural wow

of course, he won’t out you to anyone if you’re not ready to come out to the rest

and because of how natural the pronouns switch is, no one notices it when aizawa started addressing you with they/them

but if you’re ready to come out, he’ll be there— silently making sure that everyone accepts you.

okay but he’ll get so defensive if anyone misgenders you or dead names you— his capture tape will start floating, and his eyes will shine red

which is weird because.. who has the guts to dead name/misgender AIZAWA SHOUTA’s student?? anyone that does that in front of him is INSANE

in short, he’s very supportive— he won’t blow it out of proportion, because he knows how uncomfortable that’d feel if he did

but he’s glad to know that you decided to share such a important detail to him— aizawa might be always tired, but he wouldn’t dare to forget such detail

you’re his student after all, he cares about you lots— if you’re content with yourself, then that’d bring him inner peace

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[ggreactionsandscenarios]

Soojin x Reader

Requested by : anon

Library Peace 🔞

There was no word strong enough to describe how you hated having to do group projects but there was one for how much you hated the partner you got paired with : to death.

Soojin was definitely your worst nightmare since the really beginning of times. She was the type of person to think her opinion was better than other's just because it was hers. You were polar opposites in all aspects and weren't eager to interact or even acknowledge each other's existence.

There was literally nothing you could rely on in her that would make her more likeable in your eyes. And even if there was you weren't sure you wanted to see it, you were fine with hating her, it was helping you be better at everything. Because everything was a competition of ideas and values between the two of you.

As you entered the library, you didn't know if you were glad she wasn't there yet or pissed because she was already wasting your time. After waiting few minutes, your foot shaking from impatience, you decided to just go ahead and do the work on your own.

If this girl didn't care about marks and bonus points you sure did and weren't about to loose any for her.

You started looking for the books you'll need, rummaging through the shelfs to get every book out. It's only when you got to the last section that you understood why you were struggling so much to find what you needed.

Soojin was standing there arms full of books, some even opened at some specific pages, she was looking for the last like you were about to.

Saying you were pissed wasn't even a quarter of the truth, you were fuming. The bitch literally made you wait like a fool while she was right there doing everything by herself.

Yes you did attempt to do the same but you had the decency to pretend to wait for her, you tried when she clearly didn't, it probably didn't even cross her mind.

Busy reading two books at the same time, Soojin didn't even spared you a glance until you shut one of your books close and even then her glance was fast and unbothered. Her eyes got back to the paper as fast as they took a look at you.

"Someone else took the last book, we'll have to start without it."

Soojin's voice was surprisingly calm and almost gentle, not that you would know how her voice normally sounds like, you tend to avoid listening to anything that could pass her lips.

The realization that she was actually ready to co-operate was making you feel slightly guilty to have judge her actions that you knew nothing about, so easily. Yet you were fast to remember who you were talking about and how annoying she has been in the past. A single slightly polite act would never change how irritating she was.

You ended up following her because even though you'll love spending your time cursing her in your mind you still had an essay to write and you weren't ready to let her get a better grade than you.

In the end having twice as much books as needed was the minimum because you couldn’t imagine how it’d went if you had to share and get closer to Soojin to be able to read. 

Maybe you talked too fast and karma is indeed a bitch because not even fifteen minutes later the librarian was making her way to the both of you and asking you to give back the extra copies because other students needed them.

Seeing that Soojin wasn’t willing to move, you were the one making the sacrifice, giving her the books.

You tried to work only using your sheet of paper and what you already wrote but of course you couldn’t just passed out on writing the quotes and understanding the context. After a minute you abdicted.

“Could I borrow one of your books please ?”

Soojin took her time finishing to write her sentence before looking at you in the eyes and answering simply.

“No.”

Even though you knew she wasn’t someone nice on a regular basis you were astonished by her answer, she clearly didn’t give a fuck about doing the work as a pair. You were ready to just leave when she added somehing.

“But you can sit beside me. I won’t bite you.”

You sighed, but did stand up to sit beside your rival.

“If that sigh was about the no biting part, I’m all about changing it, I wouldn’t mind biting down that neck.”

That was unexpected, you thought and terribly sexy in a way. You wouldn’t deny that Soojin was extremely beautiful and exactly your type, long black hair, dancing skills given by god, overflowing confidence, tattoos and so on.

Without you knowing your cheeks had reddened at the thought of how physically perfect Soojin was, that lustful glance Soojin was giving to your exposed neck wasn’t helping your horny mind either.

You tried to remember why you hated her so much but when her fingers met your tigh your mind was suddenly blank. She wasn’t even doing much but you were already embarrassingly wet.

On the other hand Soojin was perfectly and terribly calm, way too calm compared to how crazy this situation was. She looked unbothered and even when her hand got from above your knee to your inner tigh, she didn’t even look at you as if it was completly normal for her to touch you that way.

As much as you internly claimed that it was crazy, you had no intention in stopping her. Sure she was your ‘ennemie’ but maybe the ‘hate’ you seemed to feel towards her was nothing but frustration because you were sure you couldn’t have her. 

Her hand making her way inside your panties was telling you otherwise though. Seems like you actually could have her but this realisation hit you enough for you to grab her wrist and stand up, making her turn to you.

“What are you doing ?”

Soojin looked at you confused before answering.

“What does it look like I’m doing ? Because I thought it was pretty clear until now.”

“Well yes I know what you’re doing but why ? Aren’t we suppose to hate each other ?”

Soojin escaped a laughter and stood up, taking a step closer to you in the process.

“Oh yeah ? I don’t remember agreeing to that.”

“Well you did get back at me everytime I say something though.”

“I thought we were just flirting.”

“Oh...”

Saying you were shocked would be an understatement, she didn’t hated you. You didn’t get to think much more, stopped by lips crashing on your own. The gentle kiss didn’t last long, Soojin breaking it to look at you. Her arms were on both sides of you, caging you between her and the bookshelf.

“Can we go back to what we were doing now ?”

“Yes.”

The word escaped your lips before you could process anything and you couldn’t think about it after because Soojin’s tongue was asking entrance in your mouth and that was way more captivating than thinking right now.

Soojin didn’t even needed to fight to be the one dominating the kiss, everything seemed way too unreal for you to take the lead. Yet you weren’t mad about it, her tongue was dancing the sexiest dance ever with yours.

You were wondering if someone could see you even though you were in a pretty secluded area. A thought that was cut off once Soojin’s mouth began traveling down your neck to your colarbone, letting a moan escape your mouth as she bite you.

The hell did you care about being seen, right now the only thing that mattered was Soojin fingers playing with your clit while her mouth was playing with one of your nipple.

You didn't even remember when she unbuttoned your shirt but she sure did and was now enjoying seeing and touching your breast.

The rhythm of her fingers over you clit was terribly slow not letting you reach orgasm the slightest bit. Well that was until she finally decided to slip a finger into your dripping core earning a loud moan from you.

She stopped her movements to scold you.

"We are in a library, you should know that you cannot scream here baby. I'm the only one who can hear you moan and whimper under my touch, understood ?"

Your mind was messed up, you just wanted to cum so you nodded wanting her to keep going at all cost. Which she did.

Not even minutes after she got back to pleasing you, she had to muffle your voice as you cummed all over her fingers.

Her hand circled your waist keeping you from falling while she was putting your shirt back on and straightening your pants.

She didn't talk until your breathing calmed down, wanting you to be able to respond to whatever she was about to say.

For some reason now that you were looking at her you noticed how she wasn't that confident anymore.

"I.."

You cut her off by kissing her, something you madly wanted to do since earlier but didn't had the chance to.

The kiss took her by surprise, shading her cheeks in pink. You didn't know what the sudden shyness was about but you did find it cute that after giving you the biggest orgasm your friennemy was suddenly becoming shy.

"What was that about ?"

"I thought that was pretty clear what it was about, I kinda like you."

Hey, here it is finally ! I made it slightly longer than expected but I had to put Soojin's duality in it, hope you like it 😁🤞 Give feedback. -Ael

[mattsvn]

CHANCE BALL LOVE!

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x gn!reader

Genre: Meet ugly! strangers to lovers! Getting hit in the head with a volleyball!

Warnings: Blood, head injury, concussion, did I mention getting hit in the head with a volleyball? Food hehe, that's all.

WC: 2.4K

Summary: After being hit with a volleyball by the ace and U19 athlete, Ushijima Wakatoshi, you find yourself laying in the nurse's office, with a bag of ice on your head and a boy apologizing every two minutes for that terrible accident. As the times goes by, you realize that not only you were hit by a ball, but by destiny, and more important, love.

A/N: I'm so excited for this piece! This is a collab for HQHQ (now Anilysium!) The masterlist is here! I hope you like this piece! Reblogs are appreciated!

Life is made up of 90% causality and 10% coincidence.

That was what your mother used to say, with her hands covered with flour up to her elbows, while she prepared one of those delicious desserts. Possibly as a result of all her years perfecting her technique as a pastry chef, but, as in that, she considered that everything had to be planned, measured, and calculated.

On the other hand, your father was always talking about how fate made everything line up perfectly for things in his life to come in abundance, he would happily tell about the coincidences in his life, although the answer was always the same, a debate between the two of them as to what was the truth.

A skeptical pastry chef and a dreamy lawyer, a match made in heaven.

Whatever it had been, causality or causality, you never thought a hit of luck would be so...literal.

It was unusual for you to be in Shiratorizawa's volleyball gymnasium, if you had managed to get into such a prestigious high school it was because of the impeccable grades you always had, sports were not a priority.

You weren't afraid of balls, but, the way everyone was spiking the ball was about to cause you a headache, especially Ushijima Wakatoshi, the school's ace, one of the best athletes in the country.

"Why are we here, again?" you asked, your gaze wandering between the various players and the sound of balls hitting everywhere making the conversation feel distorted.

"Because they" one pointed out, to the rest of the girls looking around the court excitedly "want to see Semi Eita, the pretty boy with the grey hair" she gestured to the boy in the corner, slamming the ball to the ground unaware that they were watching.

"Ah" you replied, somewhat bored, grabbing your backpack and standing up. "Good luck with that, I have to get home early" you said, waving goodbye to everyone.

To leave, or at least, to do it in a faster way, the door that led out of the building, and through which you had to go through the court, was the best option, as it took longer to take the way inside the corridors. The only option as you made your way down the bleachers.

The only thing you heard, with your eyes glued to the ground, trying to go completely unnoticed was a "WATCH OUT!" that made you look up before you saw nothing but darkness.

"I don't know, Wakatoshi-kun, looks like you did kill her" a voice was heard in the distance, the light irritating your eyes if you tried to open them. Still, only because of your stubbornness, you tried to get up without anyone else's help.

"I don't think it's best if you stand up now" you heard a deeper voice, but you didn't know exactly where it was coming from.

"I'm fine" you whispered, placing a hand on where you assumed you had been hit with the volleyball, feeling a warm liquid staining it. It wasn't possible that a spike had cracked your forehead open, right?

Right?

"I'm fine, I have to go" as you stood up, opening your eyes, everything was spinning. An arm went around your shoulders, stopping you from falling back to the ground, firm, but at the same time gentle.

"You need to go to the infirmary, you're bleeding" the voice now seemed to be closer, a little more stable, but, no way did you feel you could even move without throwing up or passing out again, what the fuck had that hit been? Could someone hit someone that hard just with a serve?

The answer was yes, and the name, Ushijima Wakatoshi.

You barely felt it when, just like that, he lifted you off the ground, although it seemed that your body felt it. A piece of something, probably cloth or gauze stopped the bleeding. You kept repeating that at least they let you walk, that you were okay, even though, clearly, you had the symptoms of a concussion.

"Are you all right, can you tell me where you are?" questioned Ushijima, entering a room. You had finally managed to open your eyes and recover from the dizziness.

"I'm fine, we're at the high school" you whispered, looking at Ushijima for the first time.

Even if you had gone to games before, you had never seen that look on Wakatoshi's face, a mixture of fear and worry, accompanied by his pale face and a barely noticeable bloodstain on his shirt.

"You can wait outside, dear boy," said the nurse, slightly terrified by what had happened.

A couple of hours passed before they managed to let you go, after calling your parents and making sure you didn't leave the building unless you were accompanied. You didn't need stitches, and that was a huge plus, but still, you left the infirmary with a gauze pad on your forehead, some candy, and a chance to take the rest of the week off to rest, which wasn't such a bad outcome.

You closed the door behind you, looking sideways at Wakatoshi on the floor, who got up almost immediately, still looking scared, even his gaze lingered for a few seconds on the patch on your forehead, which reminded him of the fact that he had accidentally hit you with a volleyball while practicing his serves.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, looking disheveled, and as if he had done nothing more than wait in the hallway until everything was in order.

"Oh, don't worry, Ushijima-san, I'm fine" you assured, but it didn't seem to be enough for him.

"I'm so sorry, let me take you home to be sure you arrive safely" he asked, with his hands behind his back and his head slightly bent down, like a child discovered stealing the candy from the counter.

"My parents are here to take me home, don't worry" you assured, glancing sideways at the door, somewhat far away. "You can walk me to the car, if you like."

"Of course" he nodded, walking beside you. Up close he looked even taller than he was, his expression calm and his gaze fixed straight ahead, though, he seemed to have a doubt that would leave his lips at any moment "Would you allow me to walk you to school tomorrow?"

You looked at him with raised eyebrows, somehow, the sound of just both of your footsteps in the hallway was comforting, soothing. It wasn't awkward, or uncomfortable. Ushijma didn't believe in awkward silences, because to him actions said more than words, and, that a question shouldn't be answered right away. So, the way to the entrance was nothing more than waiting for an honest, and safe, answer.

"I got permission to miss classes for the rest of the week, in case the concussion gets complicated, because I have to rest" you began, letting again the calm silence take center stage for a couple of seconds. "Then I won't be back until Monday, but maybe you can come for dinner tomorrow?"

"If you accept that as my apology for hurting you, then by all means" he took the door, allowing you to leave before him, there was still a bit of a walk to the main entrance. "Although, I would like to cook"

"Oh, I didn't know you cooked," you smiled, looking up at him. Ushijima looked down, and, you could swear he was smiling too. "If that's what you prefer, I'd love to."

The rest of the walk was quiet, and calm. Ushijima said goodbye to you after introducing himself to your parents, and apologizing again. In the rearview mirror you saw him standing there, waiting until he didn't see the car to go home.

He was really worried, and it would probably take him a few days to stop being scared about what had just happened. He was even willing to be scolded by the coach for missing two days of practice, just to make sure everything was in order.

Likewise, even if it would be a whole day before you saw Ushijima, he decided to call you just before he went to bed. And at lunchtime, because doing it earlier would surely have woken you up. He didn't talk too much, he let you talk about how annoying the doctors at the hospital had been when you went to check that everything was okay, and all the boring time you spent there.

He called back as soon as he got out of school, to make sure the details of the dinner were ready, he would bring the food, and some dessert, and, you would bring the drinks. You had to convince him though, otherwise he would have bought everything, he would have even brought plates and silverware from his own house.

Wakatoshi took the job of bringing the food seriously, as much as he could buy anything on the way home, he decided to make something himself. The menu was simple, yakisoba, yukari rice balls with an egg on top of each dish. As for dessert, he decided not to risk it, and preferred to buy those box cakes that had been quite popular lately, and, some condensed milk truffles that Tendou gave him as a gift as, he assured, you would love them.

Your parents could be quite reluctant to invite a boy to the house, but, after proposing the idea that you could clean up the picnic table you had in the backyard, where there was a space convenient enough for them to peek in just a little to feel safe, they agreed almost immediately.

During the afternoon, the question you wanted to ignore came out of nowhere, could that be considered a date, and should you dress for the occasion? It didn't seem like anything would match a forehead injury, or that anything would hide it. The result ended up being something you would wear if you were going out with friends, simple, and appropriate for the sunny day out.

Ushijima arrived exactly at the appointed time, and, reluctantly from your parents, you opened the door without them intruding. Looking at him, you failed to understand the nervous feeling that traveled from your heart to the tips of your fingers, making them tremble. Standing with a bag in his left hand, his hair slightly tousled and a bouquet of flowers in the other. Yet another gesture of apology, right?

"Hi, I brought some flowers" he pointed out, extending them. Your hand gently brushing his as you took them, white roses with green accents that made the bouquet look incredibly elegant.

"I already told you that you didn't have to keep apologizing, Ushijima" you mentioned, taking the flowers. "We'll eat outside then you don't need to take off your shoes, but let me go get a vase."

"You look good today" he spoke out of nowhere, making you look at him even though you were already halfway down the aisle. "You look good in those clothes" he seemed to be trying to smile, but you weren't sure. You smiled anyway, grateful for the compliment.

You returned with the bouquet, which would now serve as a decoration for the picnic. You could feel the intense gaze of your parents even if they tried to hide when they peeked, or, according to them, "watched" that everything was in order.

"Are you feeling better then?" he asked, looking at how simply decorated the picnic table was but somehow looked incredibly cozy, with perfect tree shade.

As was now usual, Wakatoshi didn't talk more than usual, at least not at first, he wanted to hear about how you were feeling, and how many days you would be out of school, although you assured him that you would be back to your activities by next Monday, and that, your friends would take care of sending you the homework you needed. Then the questions about him began.

You learned a lot, how he learned to play volleyball at a young age, his interest in cooking but his almost zero ability to make desserts. My mother could make some, you laughed, drinking some cranberry juice in a wine glass, your father's idea. He told you about his new interest in plants, and his father's work out of the country. Even some good anecdotes about the volleyball team.

Dessert was something completely different, by that time, she started to excitedly explain his last game, and what it was like to be in the Olympics. Although it wasn't as noticeable, you could tell in the way his lips curved into a slight smile as he tried to find the right words to define how he felt.

Reluctantly, and after offering to do the dishes, you said no, keeping the bento boxes with the promise that you would bring lunch on Monday for both of you, and now a wide smile on his face, even when he had to go home.

The following Monday came terribly slow, with the only thing that made it better being that Ushijima had not stopped her constant calls, the day possibly delayed by dark clouds heralding torrential rain.

"You don't have to keep apologizing anymore, look, even the wound has healed" you said, to Ushijima who was standing at the entrance, now with a box of the truffles you had liked so much, and which he had now made.

"I know. But I'd really like to walk with you at school" he smiled. "If you'll let me.

"I'd love to."

Life is made up of 80% causality and 20% chance, and, although you wouldn't want to repeat the literal hit of luck you received, you hadn't wanted it any other way.

Going to the gym because your friends wanted to see a cute boy on the volleyball team, having to leave early because you had things to do at home, leaving through the door you had to walk through on the court, getting hit in the head with a volleyball, only to end up walking to school with him, fingers barely brushing, a tender kiss on the cheek before he left.

Eating now inside the house, holding hands, a kiss on the corner of the lips. Waiting in the bleachers for practice to end, a number one jacket covering you from the rain.

The worst way to get to know each other, and, somehow, it seemed you were made for one another.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 9*

Chapter 8

Chapter 10

Aw SNAP, an early chapter?! Yes children, I woke up and I just wanted to write. This story really does mean a lot to me, and I have been neglecting it for the last few days. So I decided to give you one today, and one tonight. I just have so much to say, and I wanna get it out there as fast as I think of it! I know y'all want that too.

So I don't know if these actually need warnings, but there is serious discussion about alcohol and addiction. If you're sensitive to that, read with caution. I'm really sensitive to it and I wrote it, but it's more therapeutic to me. I don't know how others feel about it.

Also-- I did my best to fix the continuity issue in the last chapter about the Sonny crying at Y/N's mom's funeral, AND I think I did a good job at fixing the continuity with the fact that I literally started this story with her drinking an appletini. Like a moron.

And if you think my explanation is 'unbelievable', I actually do the same thing so I know it's a thing! Don't @ me.

Also Also-- This chapter is all Y/N and Sonny, some cousin bonding time. I hope y'all appreciate it.

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@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

--------------

You rode to the train station in silence, but when you got out of the Uber to walk in by yourself, Sonny quickly trailed behind you.

“I’m a big girl Sonny, I don’t need you to hold my hand,” You rolled your eyes.

“I-I know, but it’s an hour until your train leaves, and--” He nervously explained.

“Afraid I’ll go to the bar and just derail my life in twenty minutes?” You crossed your arms.

“...No…” He softly looked at the ground.

“Well, you're right. I'm just gonna throw it all away right now,”

“Y/N don’t do that--”

“I’m not kidding, Sonny!” You looked at him seriously.

“...What?” He was stunned at your admission.

You looked around the train station, people were bustling about running to their trains and finding their people, it was a madhouse. You needed to talk this out seriously; so you pulled him to a waiting area and sat down with him.

“Well as you so nicely pointed out, I am basically on the verge of breaking my sobriety every fucking day. And now I know why you wanted me to avoid Rafael, but I didn’t listen and as much as you didn’t want it to, it already broke me. Last night I broke, and now that-- now that he’s gone, or run away, or whatever-- All I can think about is making this pain go away!” The thoughts that had been running through your head since you left Rafael’s apartment just came spilling out of your mouth.

“Sunshine…” He sighed.

“And you’re right, I don’t have anyone else. I don’t have anyone else to lean on, except for you. And I can’t keep doing that, you’ve done it long enough,” You started to feel tears catch in your throat.

“Wha--but I don’t mind, I--” He protested.

“Really? Because the way you were telling Rafael, it sounded like you were sick of it,” You tried to keep your voice steady.

“I’m not--” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m not sick of it. It’s just--”

“A lot,” You finished for him.

“Right,” He looked at you sadly. “But-- I don’t understand, then what do you wanna--”

“I need to go away,” You interjected with a very somber look.

“What?” He half laughed. “Go away? What does that even--”

“I need to go...away,” You repeated, not wanting to say the words out loud.

“Like...a facility?” He asked; you nodded. “Y/N I didn’t mean you had to--”

“I know you didn’t mean that Sonny, but I don’t see any other way,” Tears filled your eyes.

“I don’t-- I don’t wanna do this again! I don’t want you to have to take days, weeks off work watching me, moving to Jersey, checking my room and my apartment, you’re too old for that shit now!” You looked up to the sky, willing the tears to stay in your pupils.

“I mean, Y/N come on I’m almost 31, I’m not ancient--”

“But you’re a grown up, with a grown up job and a career, and a life. And I can’t just-- make you put your life on pause because I’m a fuck up,” You barely whispered.

“You’re not a--”

“I am,” You shook your head. “I am, and I accept it. I can’t have-- normal, things. Like friendships or relationships. This absolutely proves it,”

“No, it doesn’t,” Sonny took your hand. “Look I told Barba and now I’m telling you: This...this might be on me,”

“No it’s not,” You took his hand this time. “Don’t do that,”

“No, it really might be,” He insisted. “You’ve...you’ve never just opened up to someone like you did with Barba. Not once. Not with anyone but me,”

“Yeah well clearly that was some kind of fluke,” You rolled your eyes with a tear filled laugh.

“Was it?” Sonny asked you sincerely. “When’s the last time you approached a guy or girl for that matter, sober?”

“I mean, I was sipping an appletini…” You looked at the ground in guilt.

“Y/N…” Sonny rubbed his temples.

“What?” You shrugged. “It’s not like I’m the Hulk, Sonny. I don’t take a sip of alcohol and ‘Hulk Out’. I like to at least attempt to feel like a grown up, so I order ONE drink and nurse it for hours. You know this. It’s just, when I get upset…”

“You lose it,” He finished for you.

“...Yeah,” You looked back at the ground.

“So why don’t you just come stay with me for a few days, until this whole ‘Barba’ thing passes, and you can be...normal, again?” He put a hand on your knee. “You don’t need to…’go away’, like a mental patient,”

“...Because I don’t know if it will pass, Sonny,” You admitted. “I’m not kidding when I say this broke me. It...it broke me. And he wasn’t even my boyfriend! We fucked one time and all of a sudden I was going through his stuff like a crazy girlfriend,”

“...Didn’t need to know that, but alright,” Sonny shuddered at the thought of you in the throes of passion with Rafael.

“Whatever,” You sighed. “The point is, I-- I lost it, with him. That’s never happened, not once. I’ve never…’cared’ about someone like that. I just bang them then leave,”

“Wasted” Sonny added.

“....Well yeah, obviously,” You laughed sadly.

“Which brings me back to my original point,” He replied. “You may have had some liquor in your system, but were you drunk when you talked to Barba?”

“...No,” You shook your head.

“Were you tipsy?”

“....No,"

“Did you get drunk while waiting on me and talking with him and then decide to go back to his place to...do stuff?”

“No!” You hit him softly.

“And last night,” He continued. “Last night when I walked away and left the two of you. Did you run back inside and drink yourself into a stupor because you hurt me?”

“No!!” You shook your head. “No, I-- I might have wanted to, but then Rafael took me inside and he-- well, first of all his friends humiliated me--”

“They what?” Sonny’s fists began to clench.

“Calm down, Son,” You took his hand. “Rafael defended me, he even punched a guy for insulting me!”

“He WHAT?” Sonny gasped. Rafael would never do something like that, not for anyone. He was always so cool, calm and collected, always the epitome of decorum. If he had lost it on someone in public, that really did mean something.

“...So he defended you, then took you home?”

“Well, I---” You looked down in shame. “I asked him to,”

“Ah,” Sonny nodded. “I see,”

“But only because you said you didn’t wanna see me! I...I didn’t think I had anywhere else to go,” You explained.

“But he let you,” He added.

“He wanted me to,” You shrugged. “But Sonny I swear, nothing was supposed to happen. I just wanted to crash on his couch until I could talk to you. But...I don’t know, we-- he washed my clothes, and then we were watching BoJack, and then we were laughing and he was tickling me, and it just-- happened,”

“Organically,” He clarified.

“...Not the way I’d word it but yeah,”

“And you didn’t drink anything?” He raised an eyebrow.

“No!” You cried. “No, and I didn’t want to hurt--”

“Sunshine I promise you, this isn’t about my feelings at all right now,” He assured you. “I’m just pointing out that you have never just...accidentally slept with a guy,”

“Meaning…?” You quirked an eyebrow curiously.

“Meaning your MO is get drunk, get laid, and leave. Correct?”

“...Well when you say it like that…” You shifted uncomfortably.

“I’m not trying to guilt you Sunshine I’m making a point. Now, am I right?”

“....Yes,”

“So you genuinely had feelings for Barba. Real, unaltered feelings,”

“....I guess so,”

“And I’m not blowing smoke up your ass when I say that Barba would never, ever punch a guy for anyone. Especially not someone he worked with, in front of a bunch of colleagues. I mean, his ‘circle’ is probably buzzing right now with talk about how ‘barbaric’ he was, for some girl he just met,” He explained.

“What are you saying, Son?” You studied his face curiously.

“I’m saying like I said before, that this might be my fault, Sunshine,” He sighed, once again running his hands through his hair.

“If I hadn’t been so...against you and Barba, I wouldn’t have spout off my mouth about his--- usual way of dating. Because it sounds like with you, he’s anything but his usual self,” He explained.

“...And then you wouldn’t have gotten upset about it and responded the way you do when you’re upset, and then you wouldn’t have ended up a mess last night, and you two would still be in your happy little bubble of bliss,”

“Sonny,” You sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I think we both know that this...’beast’ inside of me, is always gonna be there,”

“Well…” He murmured.

“You said it yourself! I’m still an addict, I’m still battling it everyday, even though I’ve gotten so much better at it. Even though most days I am perfectly fine; I’m not normal. Normal people don’t end up at the bottom of a bottle of vodka whenever they have a bad day, or stress out,” You cringed at the memory of that constantly happening back in the day.

“Yeah I know…”

“And it’s not fair for me to put that on someone. Especially someone I barely know! Especially someone who is not used to, or even ready for any kind of normal commitment! I mean, honestly I’m glad it happened now, because if we had gotten any deeper and the inevitable happened, the blow out would have been much more...messy,” You looked away in shame, just imagining the chaos your drunken alter ego could cause.

“...How so?”

“Sonny, if I lost it like I did last night after spending one night with Rafael, can you imagine the kind of havoc I’d wreck if we had been dating for a while? If we were married?” You half laughed sadly at the thought. “Cops would be called, I’m sure,”

“Sunshine….” He spoke softly, hating to hear you degrade yourself so much. He'd heard it so much in the past, he knew if you were going into the dark place, the damage was bad.

“Somehow or other, the monster would have shown herself to him. And clearly, whenever it was gonna happen-- he wasn’t going to respond well,” You shook your head with the same sad smile.

“But maybe if you had gotten closer, maybe he would have changed. Maybe he wants to change-- he’s just...freaked out right now,” Sonny pointed out.

“Don’t,” You shook your head while looking at the ground. “Don’t do that,”

“Do what?” He asked you quizzically.

“Give me false hope,” You looked up at him with tears once again welling up in your eyes. “You know that’s the most dangerous thing for someone like me,”

“But that’s just it Sunshine,” He put both hands on either side of your face. “I really don’t think it’s false hope,”

“Yeah well,” You scoffed with a sarcastic laugh. “I won’t hold my breath. And the bottom line is-- if that ever happens, then it will. But I’m here now, and right now all I want is to drink until I forget this weekend ever happened,” You wiped tears from your face. “So I need you to--”

“I’m not sending you away,” He said sternly.

“Sonny!” You stomped your foot. “I’m not kidding! You can’t--”

“Look Y/N,” He started. “You have done so well these past few years, better than I’ve ever seen you. I am so proud of you. You’re in school, you’re thinking about the future, you have dreams. And if you just...abandon that for even a month or two, you’ll have to drop your classes and start over,”

“Yeah but--”

“I know you think that going to rehab is the thing you’re ‘supposed’ to do when shit like this happens, but honestly I think it will only send you three steps back, not forward,” He looked at you with very genuine eyes.

“...Y’know the old ‘monster’ wouldn’t have even told me any of this,” He pointed out. “She would’ve gotten on that train and headed to the liquor store at the Jersey train station,”

“...That is true,” You nodded with a soft smile.

“I think you’re more in control than you think, Sunshine,” He put a thumb on your chin. “...But, maybe to make us both feel better, I’ll put a limit on your card for a bit,”

“...Yeah, probably for the best,” You gave him a small smile. Just then you both heard the speaker announcing your train was boarding.

“Well, I guess I better go,” You stood up with your duffel and gave him a long, hard hug. You really did love him more than anyone in this world, and knowing he wasn’t mad at you and still loved you meant everything to you.

“Alright Sunshine, you call me when you get back to the apartment, yeah?”

“Yeah,” You nodded; he gave you another hug, scared to let you go.

He was being supportive and brave on the outside for you, because he really did want you to keep going on the path you were on. But something deep down inside of him was constantly worried about the monster inside you. He wanted to protect you 24/7, but you were right-- he had a life and a career in the city, he had to trust you to be on your own.

“I love you, Y/N. You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” You nodded with a bigger smile. “I love you too, Sonny,”

You gave him one last kiss on the cheek before heading to your platform, leaving Sonny alone in the station. He waited until he couldn’t see your figure headed towards the distance before pulling out his phone and dialing a number.

“Barba,” He said seriously. “We need to talk,”

[vennysbottom]

I don’t need it

Wilhemina Venable x FemReader

Words: 2,8K

warning: eating disorders, angst i guess

A/N: I have no idea what this is but I needed to get out of my head. Please, please don’t read this if you think it could trigger you.

*Also, I read something similar on here but couldn’t find it, so if you know, pls tell me so that I could give them credit.

It wasn't enough. The truth was, it was never enough. No number ever seemed right anymore. Each morning you were afraid to weigh yourself, knowing it determined how your day was going to go. For the past few months, the only thing on your mind was weight loss and how you looked. You couldn't focus on anything else, you found it hard to be your positive self and most importantly, you were losing yourself.

You were losing yourself again.

You were not sure how many times this has already happened, but you knew what was going on. There was no reason to try to prevent it though, you felt like you needed to lose a few pounds anyway and saw no harm in doing it this way. Or more accurately, you chose not to see it.

“Y/N baby, I'm leaving” your girlfriend's voice coming from downstairs brought you back to reality. Not realising how long you've been analysing your body in the bathroom; you ran to the front door.

“Still in your pyjamas?” she said while giving you a half-smile. Wilhemina herself was looking as professional as ever, given that it was just 7 AM. She had her hair up, makeup on, and was wearing one of those purple fits that you loved on her. Each morning she amazed you by how good she looked. You leaned in to give her a goodbye-kiss which she gladly returned.

“Have a good day. Love you” you said while getting a hold of her one free hand. She gave it a light squeeze before saying “I made you coffee. I love you too.” And just like that, she was out of the door and you were alone. 

You stood at the doorway for a couple of seconds, deciding what to do today. You had a few online classes that day but they only took up half of the day, leaving the whole afternoon to yourself. 

You went into the kitchen to get your coffee, trying to be as quick as possible. You didn't like being there anymore, it made you feel anxious and guilty. Although, for the majority of your relationship with Mina it has been nothing but nice; you loved cooking dinners for her every day to make her relax and talk about what kind of day the both of you had had, you loved having slow Sunday mornings there. But none of that hasn't happened for quite a while now. Avoiding meals equalled constant lying; on the weekend you’d sleep in since your energy levels were constantly low, and most days you’d lie to get out of eating dinner. You would say that you had to study for a test, had an assignment due or simply that you had already eaten by the time Wilhemina got home.

All of these thoughts were flooding your mind from just standing in the room. You quickly grabbed the cup and left to go into your home office.

Your classes began at 8 and by the time noon arrived you were done for the day. You couldn’t focus on anything your lecturers were saying, which wasn’t uncommon, but this time it wasn’t just the fact that you were exhausted that kept you from paying attention. You kept thinking about how your relationship was slowly starting to fail. You and Mina were in love, but the truth is, your lies were undermining the trust between you two. Until your relapse, you had never lied to her and that’s why she knew that she could always count on you. But she started noticing how distant you were getting and how little time you wanted to spend with her; it hurt her, but she decided to just play along and pretend like everything was fine.

You were aware of all of this. You knew you needed to fix this but sadly enough, you didn’t know how to do that. There was no way you’d be willing to eat - the fear was too overwhelming for you. That’s why you decided to do the next best thing - a quick fix.

The first thing you came up with was a visit at work. There was a high risk of catching your girlfriend taking out her frustrations on one of her poor employees, but the only thing on your mind at that moment was making Wilhemina feel loved. You were mad at yourself for neglecting her because you knew that she deserved way better than that.

You got dressed and made your way to Kineros Robotics, stopping along the way at her favourite coffee shop. You had worked at the company a few years prior, so you knew most of the people by name and knew the place perfectly.

“Hey Jenny!” you greeted your former co-worker with a smile once you’ve made your way up to the front desk. “Y/N! What are you doing here?” she said while looking away from her computer. “Oh, I’m looking for a woman and thought she might be here. You may have seen her actually; long red hair, very kind, the same height as me… Does that ring any bells?”

“Was she wearing purple by any chance?” she asked jokingly.

“You know what? It is possible! How’d you know?” you answered and gave her a toothy smile.

“Try her office Y/N/N. But just a warning: she screamed at me today for letting in a delivery-guy, so she’s probably not in the best mood,” she said while pointing you in the direction.

You knew this was your fault; she does get snappier at work when she's worried about something. So, not only are you two miserable but others get screamed at more frequently. Maybe a quick fix wouldn’t be enough this time, but it was the best you could do for now.

You arrived at Mina’s office to find it empty so you hesitantly made your way down to the guys’ office. It didn’t take long for you to hear muffled voices, one of which belonged to the woman you were looking for, and you could tell that she was upset about something. Upon entering the room, you saw her; she had her back towards you and was supporting herself by the cane in her right hand. Just this image alone was enough to make your heart race. Jeff and Mutt were bending down to sniff what seemed like their daily dose of cocaine. There were also two girls sitting on a table near them, probably just random hookers the guys hired for the day.

“No, no, no, that’s not what I said. What I meant was, that you should watch your temper more” Mutt said loudly before turning around to start typing on his keyboard.

You saw Wilhemina tighten her grip on her cane, “Excuse me?” she said in a cold tone, clearly getting ready to argue.

Jeff stood up after attempting to clean the powder from his nose, “Come on babe. You know you could be nicer to the employees”.

“Shut up Jeff,” you said sternly, making all the heads turn in your direction. “You’re paying her to do all the work around here that you are too lazy to do yourselves, not to be nice to people.” You could see the surprise on Wilhemina's face, but it didn't take her long to regain her composure and protectively reach for your hand once you've reached her side.

Jeff smiled at you and said “Y/N! Long-time no see. Have you finally changed your mind?”

You haven’t seen the two idiots for a couple of months, almost making you forget how gross they were. You took a step forward and stated “I wouldn’t touch your slimy dick with a two-feet pole,” which made both of them laugh slightly. “I'm here to put you in your place since you obviously still need to be reminded,” you continued giving them a cocky smirk. You knew they would not budge, but it was a nostalgic way of entertainment.

“Wow, you don’t have to be so rude baby,” he said pretending to be offended, “Seems to me like Ms.Venable has a bad influence on you.”

Oh, it was on. You were ready to shoot another remark but were stopped by your girlfriend’s hand giving you a squeeze and lightly pulling you back.

“I would choose my next words carefully if I were you; you’re on very thin ice,” Mina said while staring at Jeff. She would normally avoid confrontation with them but her possessive side got the best of her in that moment. Softening her expression, she turned to face you, “Would you wait for me in my office? I need to sort some things out.”

You nodded and turned on your heel to leave. Hearing Jeff shout at you “The offer still stands!” made you turn once more and say truthfully “Hope your brain turns into mush soon, asshole.”

Once you were out of the door and far enough that nobody thought you could hear them anymore Mutt started the conversation, “Damn Ms.Venable, are you even feeding her?” which made a look of confusion appear on Wilhemina's face. “Now, what’s that supposed to mean?” she asked with a hint of offence, trying to find an answer in the face of one of them. Since Jeff was the one who knew you the longest, he decided to explain, “Oh don’t tell me you haven’t noticed anything,” still seeing the puzzled look on his secretary’s face, he went on, “For fuck’s sake, don’t you live together? You must have noticed the weight loss, plus Y/N is never very subtle about this.”

That’s when it clicked and Wilhemina finally understood what Jeff was implying, “She's never subtle? This has happened before?”

She waited impatiently for an answer, hoping that all of this was just a sick joke; the other two exchanged a look of mutual understanding and Mutt finally said: “You should talk to her.”

You paced around the office trying to figure out what to do and how to fix this situation. You knew that Mina was hurt and probably even disappointed; you knew her instinct would be to build her walls up again and you were terrified she wouldn’t let you fully in again. Once you heard the sounds of her cane getting closer, you knew there was no preparing for this.

She entered the room with a somewhat disapproving expression on her face, which she successfully hid when you shot her a warm smile, waiting for her to sit in the chair while you leant on her table. Sitting down, she looked at the cup you were nervously playing with and narrowed her eyes at you. “I thought you might need cheering up today, so I got you your favourite,” you said while placing the coffee on her desk. And you could swear, at that exact moment, you saw love light up her eyes, and the slight smile she offered you gave you butterflies, just like the first time you saw her smile like that. The silence between you that followed made you play with your fingers anxiously but after a while, it was broken by Wilhemina's soft voice, “Well thank you. I appreciate it.”

“But that's not the only reason I stopped by. I've finished all my work for the week…” you traced off preparing yourself to say the latter part, which you'd much rather avoid, “So I thought that I could cook dinner for us tonight because I haven’t done that for a while now. And I wanted to ask you if there was anything you’d like.” At that point your heart was beating so fast you were sure she could hear it.

She could see how uncomfortable you were but wasn’t able to pinpoint the reason for your behaviour; she didn’t know whether it was due to your relationship hitting a rough patch or because Jeff and Mutt might have been right. Either way, she knew she’d find out tonight; playing it cool she kissed you on the cheek and told you that it was completely up to you.

Cooking the food was fine, calming even, but once it was done you realised that you actually had to eat it which caused you to panic. You tried to calm down but your eating disorder made that almost impossible. You sat at the table for what seemed like hours trying to come up with an excuse, eventually deciding to just drink wine and lie if you were to be questioned.

You were disturbed from your state by the door opening and your girlfriend coming into view. She locked eyes with you instantly. You could tell that she was exhausted, that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary after all, but there was more tonight. Wilhemina hasn’t been able to concentrate on anything else than you for the rest of the afternoon. She analysed the situation, her potential steps and their outcomes for the whole ride home. What scared her the most was the fact that in both scenarios, she was running a risk of losing you.  

You were both tense, expecting the other one to start a fight and unable to relax, so you only made small talk. You sat at the table with your glass of wine, playing with the food on your plate while watching Mina observe you closely. Then the tension got too much and she barked out, “Aren't you going to eat?” in a tone so cold, it reminded you of the times you worked for her. She held eye contact with you, almost daring you to lie to her. Almost daring you to start a fight that would break her heart. You quickly answered, saying that you ate right before she came so you were pretty full. Keeping your eyes on her face, you saw her expression change - she went from being irritated to being seemingly sad in a matter of seconds.

“Do you still love me?”

Once the question left her lips, there was no taking it back and it physically hurt you that she had to ask. It hurt to know that Wilhemina felt so abandoned by you, she actually thought you were going to leave her; and judging by the look in her eyes, she was ready for you to say “no”. Wasting no time, you answered, “Of course. Of course, I still love you, Mina.” hoping to sound genuine enough for her to believe you. You watched her closely, waiting for her reaction, but to your surprise, her feelings were shoved back down just as quickly as they surfaced.

She straightened her posture before stating, “Well, in that case, we need to talk.” You felt yourself freeze, knowing exactly what was about to go down.

“Have you been eating?” she asked, not letting you drift your eyes away from hers. You knew she’d catch on eventually and call you out, but you had hoped you had a little more time. With a confused expression on your face, you said, “What do you mean?”.

Wrong answer. Wilhemina was tired of your bullshit and you trying to hide it from her. Her face seemingly hardened as she explained, “I haven’t seen you have a meal in weeks. You’re always making excuses, saying you’re too busy to sit down with me. The two idiots even implied this isn’t the first time this has happened.”

You knew there was no point in pretending anymore, so not caring about the consequences anymore, you snapped, “Oh, so it took Jeff and Mutt telling you everything for you to notice? Good to know.” You got up to leave but the sudden sound of Mina’s cane hitting the floor made you stop in your tracks. “Sit your ass down,” she ordered through gritted teeth. Seeing how mad she was getting and how her knuckles whitened, you thought it was better to obey. Although Wilhemina liked establishing dominance, she very rarely raised her voice at you. But this was different, she was pissed that you refused to take care of yourself and she knew she had to be strict.

“Y/N, eat. Now,” she demanded in a stern tone. You were sitting down, fork in one hand and anxiously pulling the skin on your leg with the other. After a few minutes of silence, she reached for your hand under the table and with a pleading look in her eyes, she said softly, “Baby… please, try. For me.”

You couldn’t stand seeing her like this, so you hesitantly started to eat. You hated it, and the feeling of food in your stomach made you sick. Wilhemina rubbed slow circles on your hand in an attempt to calm you down. Despite her effort, tears started to fall down your cheeks about halfway through the meal, but you still managed to finish everything.

Seeing the plate finally empty caused you to sob uncontrollably. Mina approached you quickly and put her arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug. In between sobs, you whispered, “I hate you so much right now.” In response, she said, “Shhh, I know. I know,” while stroking your hair.

“You did good, little one.”

[electricbluebutterflies]

Hi!! Saw that promp list you reblogged, so I'm shooting my shot for Nina + Matthias with this one: 'Learning what the other person likes sexually' thank you 😊

(Also...idk if you'd accept 1 or 2 more requests for this otp? Loved the prompts but I dont wanna spam your inbox. 😜)

I kinda love them... obvious smut ahead and also on ao3.

She’s broken him. He’s not sure how much he minds.

Look, objectively the fact that he is stuck in the frozen middle of nowhere and owes his continued survival to a witch who will not shut up and seduced him more out of boredom than anything that seems like actual desire on her part is… almost all of his worst nightmares come true. But all of that established and ignored, Nina is not the worst possible person to be stuck with. She’s beautiful, occasionally funny in a way that breaks the cultural barriers between them, knows what she wants…

They’ve stopped for the night, no closer to civilization than they were when they woke up but not going around in circles yet – and he’s left subtle markings at each fishing hut they’ve temporarily occupied, he would know – and he knows what happens next, and this time he wants to do better.

Nina is, he has learned over the past few days, a very particular combination of insatiable and bossy. When she decides she wants, and apparently physical activities are how she deals with her everything, she makes herself very clear and pins him to whatever passes for a bed wherever they are. (Or, very briefly yesterday, a wall.) And while Matthias is a willing enough participant in his own corruption, he can’t push away the feeling that the power dynamic is the truly wrong thing here. A man is not supposed to be passive, even when faced with… all of that. But as it is, he’s not sure he’ll get the chance to change it up.

And sure enough, after an improvised meal of probably-undercooked fish, she reaches out. Puts her mouth on his and starts taking kisses, and he’s so powerless and so into it and-

“Stop,” he breathes, unsure if the word even comes out.

To his great surprise, she freezes. She’s still clinging to him, but not actively doing anything more. “You okay? Did I do something-“

“You need to rest,” he murmurs, adding a little endearment in his native language. Yep, she’s definitely corrupted him. “If you want, let me give.”

Nina rolls her eyes. “Are you sure?!”

“I need to learn how to do this… properly.”

The look on her face is the most amused horror he’s ever seen and oh he almost loves her for it. “I am not passive. You do realize that, right?”

“You don’t have to be. I don’t know… tell me what to do.”

She takes a step back. “Alright. How detailed instructions do you want?”

“Tell me how to make you happy.”

Nina takes another step back and shifts her body into an open position. “Alright. Undress me. You’ve seen how all of this works…”

He has, and he steps forward and tries. The buttons of her vest are so tiny, and of course she’d done up all of them, and it takes a frighteningly long time for his fingers to get them all undone. Then her shirt, also made challenging with the laces done up too tight and oh the sight of her curves underneath it is distracting and unfair and-

Somehow, he figures out all the knots and gets it off her, gets rewarded with the sight of her soft skin and pointy breasts. Even this would be enough, and he-

“Put your mouth… somewhere.”

If nothing else, Matthias is good at following orders. Even if they are given by a… no, at this point he doesn’t think she’s a witch. Not like he was taught to believe. Definitely not normal, but far more human than he expected.

Not that it matters, he reminds himself as he leans down and tries to kiss her breasts. She’s even paler there than she is elsewhere, and her body is warm and unfair. She squirms a little, but the noises she makes are happy enough and she hasn’t yelled at him so he’s hopefully not screwing this up too badly and-

On instinct, he puts his mouth around one of her nipples and licks, and her noises turn closer to what she apparently sounds like in bliss. He’s still learning how that works, but if this helps get her there…

“Okay, I was just going to have you straight-up fuck me but nevermind you’re actually good with your mouth,” she says, yanking on his hair to pull him up and off. “This still…?”

“Yes. Keep showing me.”

“I’m not showing you, I’m trying to un-repress you,” she laughs. “Undo my skirt and get me on the bed.”

He does, and without being told he knows what she wants next. Well, this may be the strangest experience yet with her, but…

The space between her thighs is beautiful, swollen pink instead of ivory, already shiny with her warmth. He pokes around with his fingers – this, at least, she has let him do before – and makes a plan. If he’s wrong then he’s wrong and he still expects she’ll get mad at him at some point during this, but until then he-

“Head. Down. Now.” From this angle she looks magnificent, and he can see her desperation in a different way. “Keep going unless I grab your ear, no matter what else I do.”

In the recent past, in the time before she happened to him, all of this was foreign to him. It was, and remains, improper for a man of his status to know too much about the sacred beauty of women before marrying one. In that way he is ruined now, and he cannot imagine any of this being so good with some equally innocent creature. This one is so much better. This one is-

She kicks his shoulder, more out of annoyance than wanting to hurt. “I know I’m cute but get on with it.”

He complies, pressing his mouth to her outer petals. He is well aware he has too much scruff right now, and that might hurt where she’s sensitive… no, might hurt some lesser woman, won’t make this one bat an eyelash. Nina is different and Nina is herself. And she is perfect, he thinks as instinct takes over and he starts to lick. Beautiful wet nightmare.

This is a first attempt, not perfection. His desire to make her happy counts for something, he hopes as he tries different things, because that’s about the only part of this in his favor. This act she’s suggested is so new, something he’s surprised she even wants, and to have his world reduced to her womanly parts is… perfect for him, honestly. He is aware of his own body responding to it, but she hasn’t asked for that yet and maybe she won’t tonight and-

As he is learning is normal for her, Nina falls apart with a few breathless noises. Apparently this also includes clenching her thighs tight enough his head hurts and more of her sweet warmth dripping onto his tongue. For a moment he’s not sure he can breathe either, and-

The pressure lessens and instead of grabbing his ear like she said, she pulls him up to her level by the shoulders.

“Did I… please you?”

She rolls over to cover his face in wet kisses. “You need to have more faith in your abilities. That was nice.”

“What… what now?”

“Do you still want to have me?” she asks, putting her hand between his legs.

As if that’s a question. Matthias has been able to ignore his own body until now, but the slightest touch makes him squirm and he’s still fully dressed and she is unfair and-

“Always,” he breathes. Might as well admit it. “Is that alright? You already…”

“Great thing about having the parts I do is I can fall apart multiple times,” she shrugs like that should be too obvious. “I am perfectly fine with it if you are.”

“Please.”

“Good. Undress for me and… I wanna see what you do.”

It no longer feels awkward to feel her eyes on him as he sheds his layers. Her expression is appreciative, and he’s never thought too much about what his body might look like to other people but clearly the only person who matters right now is into it. Years after her, he thinks, if there is an after her, he will always remember this as he looks at his skin. Impossible perfect woman almost making him happy.

And sure enough, as he’d both hoped and feared, his prick is in full form. And to think he’d expected it would hurt her the first time she wanted him. There’s no fear of that now, but a near-inevitability he won’t last long enough to give her what she wants and-

He looks at her, spread out for him and waiting, and he knows whatever he does will be enough.

Soft beautiful his, he repeats as he maneuvers his body over her. Perfect woman, as he lines up his prick. More than he had ever dreamed of, as he covers her.

She feels perfect around him, and he rolls his hips against hers and tries to find a pattern the way she does when she covers him and he is so sure he’s doing it wrong but she keeps taking kisses anyways so maybe not. Perfect, and he feels himself tense up and no too soon he hasn’t given her everything he hasn’t-

He falls apart anyways, best intentions be damned, boneless on top of her even as their bodies separate.

“I didn’t mean to-“

“Do I look like I’m complaining?”

No, he thinks as he maneuvers his body so most of his weight is off of her, no she does not. If anything, Nina looks the happiest he’s seen her, pink and glowing and content. “You look beautiful,” he says before he talks himself out of it.

“Good.” She shakes her head, her hair flying everywhere. “Are you… was all of that okay?”

She gets under his skin like no one else ever has, and he almost loves her for it and he is undone. “I don’t know if I did it right.”

“There is no right. Not with this. There’s only… what I like may be different from what some other person likes, and each time you’re with someone new you get to figure it all out again.”

“That’s not what I-“

“You made me feel good. As long as you felt good too… that’s the important part.”

And he did, he lets himself feel as they maneuver themselves into a comfortable position for sleep. Dangerous woman. He is ruined for anyone else now, and… maybe that’s alright.

[cityandking]

2, 13, 30, 42 for bran/sabine & dai/zaref!

thanks!! sabine again belongs to @darlingicarus and zaref is @bicleric's boy // send me a ship

2. How’s their teamwork? Do they share well?

BRAN/SABINE — it's good, and I think they do. big dps pairing y'know? they're really good for a brawl, or an investigation, or just about anything; they're both just the right amount of smart about shit and willing to jump in headfirst to get themselves into massive amounts of trouble, but I think they'd be equally good at wriggling out

DAI/ZAREF — they work well together because they've decided to make that effort. like they had a conversation that was essentially "we're going to have to rely on each other so I'm going to trust you to work with me and I'm going to work with you" and so far they've kept to that pretty well. regarding sharing, they don't really talk? as much as they probably should? but in terms of sharing actual Stuff (and not like, personal information; are you noticing a theme in daichi's relationships?) it's fine.

13. What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up?

BRAN/SABINE — bran will try quite literally anything once so they're not short on activities. she's also pretty big on Wooing sabine (because it's fun and sweet and she likes the way sabine complains about it and lets it happen anyways) so I think there would be a fair number of romantic gestures. on the luckrunner mostly they're traveling so it's a lot of going places and sightseeing and getting into trouble at various ports. in the roommates 'verse I think there are a lot of nights in and a lot of bran being a general menace at the pottery studio (affectionate)

DAI/ZAREF — they really don't? have? downtime? I think in the perfect world there's a lot of hanging out with everybody and daichi watching fondly from the sidelines while zaref Does Stuff. he'd really just like to see zaref happy (dai would really just like to see most people happy tbh). honestly I think they enjoy training together? zaref pretty much taught dai most of his martial abilities so like. yeah. wow there's a whole wealth of pre-relationship content there huh. also somewhere there's a modern au where they go out and do stuff around town and dai just takes photos of zaref the entire time. like really cute sappy first boyfriend stuff. dai would take it seriously.

30. Could they manage a long distance relationship?

BRAN/SABINE — yeah. I kind of think they'd have to, given how bran always has that itch under her skin to drop everything and go. I think they'd both be pretty good at getting on with their own lives and letting time move as it will because it means the thrill of seeing each other again is that much better for the time apart. obviously bran likes it most when sabine comes with, but they can manage well enough over distance (and time).

DAI/ZAREF — I don't really know? I think daichi is absolutely the sort of person who would wait for someone else, so probably? I just don't think he's really good at like, texting or anything. he'd write letters though. fuck whoever said dai should be in a regency au was right; he'd be so good.

42. Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?

BRAN/SABINE — yeah for sure (lots of being the exception to the rule) but I also think for bran in particular she'd be less likely to let sabine get away with things that bother her? not the little stuff but the big stuff, the way she sometimes goes looking for something to wreck herself on. usually branwen's perfectly willing to step back and let someone do what they will, good or bad, but with sabine she's quicker to step in, even if it's not wanted. she just— she really really cares.

DAI/ZAREF — I don't think "get away with" is the term for it, but I think he's far more patient with zaref than he is anybody else. maybe izzy but she sort of eats through it quickly. honestly I think there's a degree to which is patience with zaref is almost unhelpful, but he also knows how deeply deeply unpleasant it is to be pushed on something when you're not ready to talk about it and he doesn't want to do that, so he lets zaref get away with silence past the point he'd accept it from anyone else. also I think he probably finds most of the habits he'd consider annoying in other people kind of cute on zaref.

[lannister-slings-and-arrows]

So i dont know if i've asked this before or if i'm just imagining stuff(fucking adhd) but if you still do the pedro headcanons, how do you think each of his characters would act on their wedding day/getting married?

You have not asked me this one before! Hmm. Ok, let’s think about this.

@pascalispretty and I have, of course, talked about this in excruciating detail lol. We think that Maxwell honestly wants everything to be as normal and as chill as humanly possible- he wants to go before a judge with a couple of witnesses and just do it, no fuss, no nothing.

Oberyn is calm, of course he is. He’s faced oncoming armies, charging battalions of horse, fuck, he’s fought the gods damned Mountain, this is a piece of cake. He’s excited though, happier than his brother has seen him in a while, excepting the births of his children. And the smile that stretches over his face when he sees Ellaria lead you to the sept is blinding; the sun that hovers over the deserts of Dorne pales in comparison.

Ezra is nervous. And that makes you nervous. Ezra is supposed to be the one that always has his head screwed on straight in this partnership, the one who gets you both out of scrapes and into good jobs with a few turns of phrase. He’s still talking- of course he is- but not a lot of it makes sense and he doesn’t finish most of his sentences. Well, if he isn’t going to be calm and in charge today, you guess that it’s your turn.

Tovar still isn’t totally sure how this happened. He’d never considered the possibility of marriage, and to be frank he still isn’t completely on board with the idea. But it seems to make you happy, and if your lives were going to go on in much the same fashion as before, what right did he really have to complain? It was a piece of paper, he supposes that he could tolerate the ceremony and the standing and the sitting and the, fuck no, that stupid ass was not spraying him in the face with water again, no that is where he drew the line.

In Din’s eyes the two of you have been married for months now, ever since he taught you that phrase in Mano’a. That one that it seemed so important to him that you repeat back perfectly. He never told you what the words meant exactly, just that it was a commitment ceremony of sorts, so while you watched him go about his business as if you weren’t getting ready to be married in a few hours, you latched on to that scene from a few month ago to try and soothe your nerves. You turn to Paz who was cleaning a blaster next to you and ask him what the words meant. He chokes. “You mean he didn’t tell you?” You shrug. “Not exactly, no.” Paz sets the gun down and repeats the phrase in their language with reverence. He then translates for you: “We are one whether we are together or apart, we share everything, we will raise our children as warriors.” And you understand now why this day wasn’t nearly as never wracking for Din. 

Max micro manages everything. Which honestly is cool with you because he’s good at making sure tiny details are taken care of promptly and accurately. It keeps him occupied and gives you one less thing to worry about. You have enough on your plate already, wondering if (because, technically speaking, Max was dead?????) this is entirely legal. Also maybe you should make an effort at not thinking of him as dead again, that’s kind of weird. You start to worry and meet his eyes across the the living room of your apartment. He grins at you, the same smile that you are sure helped many a sorority girl out of her panties back in college, and you are smiling back before you realize it. You kind of hate it when he uses his Manager Powers on you but you suppose you may need it this time so you’re willing to forgive him.

Dave is already married. Bigamy is both not cool and illegal.

Marcus is excited! He’s been waiting for this day since he asked you, planning everything, and leaving you with very little to do. He does ask every once in a while for your input but inevitably gets a little carried away and continues on his own. It’s hard to get mad at someone who so obviously can’t wait for this day. He’s practically vibrating that entire morning- you’ve seen junkies with less energy than this.

Javier is a little sullen. Bc he is incapable of dealing with his emotions and feelings like a big boy and instead of explaining that he is scared he might fuck up (again), he lashes out. Goooood thing you’re used to this and can just roll your eyes, pat his arm, and ignore it.

Catfish is Stressed and Nervous. He’s getting married, for fucks sake, of COURSE he is. And no, picturing everyone naked will not help, Ironhead, but thanks for being a dickhead as usual. Oh my god I forgot to get a sitter for the baby, what if- oh, right, thanks Pope, yeah I see her she’s right there and she’s fine and- wait, what if she isn’t though, should I just go check on her or, WHAT DO YOU MEAN I NEED TO CALM DOWN?!

Whiskey is cool as a cucumber. He’s a spy. He deals with much more stressful things than this- at least this doesn’t have the same kind of potential for bodily harm as most large gatherings he attends do. Plus. You’re wearing his hat as your something borrowed. And with that kind of distraction who has the brain capacity to think or worry about anything else.

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

I hate you, I love you

Request: is it possible to get a bellamy one-shot or something based on the song “i hate you, i love you” by gnash and olivia o’brien? i’m not really picky (at all) by what the plot is, but i feel like it’s a good song to write a fic about. thanks girlie💜

Requested by: Anon

Word Count: 3K

~Master~

*Based of the song I hate you, I love you by Gnash and Olivia O’Brien*

*Lyrics in Bold Italics*

Feeling used

But I'm

Still missing you

And I can't

See the end of this

Just wanna feel your kiss

Against my lips

And now all this time

Is passing by

But I still can't seem to tell you why

It hurts me every time I see you

Realize how much I need you

Is it possible to miss someone’s touch? The way their lips felt pressed against your own? Or when you feel their eyes on you and a sense of comfort ran over your body?

Now that the feeling was gone, you missed it.You missed him.

Bellamy Blake and Y/N Y/L/N. Everyone thought you’d make it, that your relationship would’ve lasted. Maybe that’s why you had to end it. But now, things were getting worse. You and Bellamy hadn’t spoken since the night you broke up with him where several rounds of tears came raining down both of your faces. You wanted to speak to him, to tell him how much you needed in your life however he could be. Yet every time you tried, it hurt just to look in his direction.

God, why does being in love hurt?

I hate you I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to, but I can't put

Nobody else above you

I hate you I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

He was laughing again, he was smiling.

And she was making him.

Was it wrong to hate her? Gina. She got everything you gave up, she got Bellamy. You hated her.

You hated him.

No, that was a lie. You loved him. You just weren’t good enough in your eyes.

“You’re staring, Y/N.” You didn’t need to turn around to hear Octavia sit next to you, a deep sigh coming from her lips as she watched you stare at Bellamy across the dining hall.

“Yeah. So?” you made no move to look away, watching Gina fall into Bellamy’s side, fitting perfectly like you had always done. It hurt to watch, and you knew it, but right now you just needed to feel something, and pain seemed to work.

“Why’d you do it?” Octavia asked you, finally getting you to look at her instead her older brother. It didn’t take a detective to know she wanted to know why you broke his heart, and your own in the process.

“Look at them, O. Have you ever seen Bellamy that happy with me?” Octavia glanced over to Bellamy while you willed yourself not to, knowing exactly what you’d see. Bellamy probably throwing his head back after Gina said something stupidly clever, something you could never come up with even if someone was feeding you lines.

Yet Octavia didn’t see that at all. Instead, she saw her brother almost as happy as he was when he had you by his side. She saw the constant side glances thrown your way now that Bellamy was certain you weren’t looking.

“You don’t want him back?” she began as you hesitated, hearing Bellamy and Gina’s laughs echoing in your head.

“No.” You lied. “He needs someone like her. Not someone who can’t get her head around her own emotions.”

“Then move on.” Her words took you by surprise, believing for sure she would try to get you to fight for him. “If you don’t love him anymore, then move on. For both your sakes.”

Oh. She didn’t know you still loved him.

How the hell were you supposed to move on?

I miss you when I can't sleep

Or right after coffee

Or right when I can't eat

I miss you in my front seat

Still got sand in my sweaters

From nights we don't remember

Do you miss me like I miss you?

Fucked around and got attached to you

Friends can break your heart too, and

I'm always tired but never of you

Bellamy broke with the end of your relationship. You were his whole world for so long that the moment you were gone, he was floating through space looking for the next planet to land on. That’s when he found Gina. The first thing he realized though was she wasn’t you, and Bellamy couldn’t get you out of his head. He heard your laugh during breakfast even when you weren’t in the room and at night, when he was trying to sleep, he longed for the chance to roll over and pull you against him.

This morning when Bellamy was digging through his closet for a certain shirt, he felt himself stop breathing. He didn’t mean to, but a sweatshirt he had buried in the back of the closet just happened to come out. It was one he wore just a couple days before you broke up with him, when the two of you snuck down to the beach next to Arkadia at night.

Sand was still stuck to the fabric, the slight smell of the beach filling Bellamy’s senses as his eyes watered. He was frozen in place with the piece of clothing sat in his hands and his knuckles turned white from his grip.

Why did have to get so attached to you? Why did it have to end in with the breaking of his heart?

He hoped you missed him as much as he missed you. He tried to move on with Gina, but she’s just a distraction and she knew it. She knew how attached Bellamy was to you.

He kept saying how fucked he was to have fallen in love with you. You were friends long before you were a couple and if you had stayed just friends then maybe he’d be alright.

But he never would’ve been “just friends” with you. He knew he was in love with you before he even asked you out. You were the one person who could bring out the soft side of the King, someone Bellamy could never tire of seeing at the end of the day as long as he saw your smile.

If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit

I put this real out, but you wouldn't bite that shit

I type a text but then I nevermind that shit

I got these feelings but you never mind that shit

Oh oh, keep it on the low

You're still in love with me but your friends don't know

If u wanted me you would just say so

And if I were you, I would never let me go

Bellamy knew you were staring at him whenever he entered the room, your eyes naturally went looking for him for so long and he knew how hard not to seek you out. He felt hot under your gaze, like he wasn’t supposed to have it, but the moment you look away, he just wanted to feel it again. He could see from across the room as you and Octavia talked, his sister sparing Bellamy far too many glances for his liking. He watched Octavia leave you sitting at the table, your eyes stuck on the metal in front of you before you pushed yourself up and made direct eye contact with Bellamy. He knew that look on your face, the one you wore moments before you were about to break down.

He wanted to chase after you when you ran, but that wasn’t his place anymore. You told him it wasn’t his place as much as he wanted it to be.

“Just go.” Gina’s sweet voice invaded Bellamy’s thoughts as he realized he had been staring at your vacant space for too long. He turned to her, seeing the smile on her face she nodded towards the door. “Go! Before you chicken out!” She chuckled at Bellamy’s stunned expression, knowing he must think her crazy for pushing her boyfriend in the direction of his ex. But she also knew Bellamy needed closure.

Without another word, Bellamy followed you out of the dining hall, his eyes scanning the halls to try to find you. He stopped himself, mentally cursing himself as he left the Ark, heading straight to the body of water nearby.

That’s where he found you, your legs cross and knees pulled to your chest as you stared out to the water, watching the sun disappear across the horizon.

“You didn’t need to follow me.” You called out to Bellamy, the crunching of rocks under his boots before sand telling you exactly who it was.

“Why’d you run out?” He couldn’t sit next to you, the first time hearing your voice since that night affecting him more than he thought.

“Bellamy, I don’t want to talk rig-“

“No.” he spat out, watching your shoulders droop before pushing yourself up, wiping off the sand that clung to your pants. Bellamy’s cracked world began to slowly piece itself together when he looked into your eyes, the E/C hues staring back at him. He cleared his throat. “We’re gonna talk.”

You nodded, licking your lips and swallowing. “Fine. What do you want to talk about?”

Bellamy raised a brow at you. “Maybe start with why we broke up.” You scoffed, turning around to face away from him as you buried your head in your hands. “Y/N. Come on, we both know if I was the one breaking up with you and didn’t tell you why, you’d demand to know why. You’d never let me get away with something like this.”

You spun around with parted lips as you stared at him. “Something like this? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re giving up on us without telling me the reason why.”

“Maybe there is no reason.”

“We both know that’s not the case.”

“Maybe I just don’t love you anymore.” Bellamy couldn’t speak anymore. Your eyes were lined so heavily with tears he was shocked they hadn’t fallen yet. You couldn’t have meant that. 

I don't mean no harm

I just miss you on my arm

Wedding bells were just alarms

Caution tape around my heart

You ever wonder what we could have been?

You said you wouldn't and you fucking did

Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix

Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed

“You’re lying.” He tried, begging for you to give in, to tell him you still loved him and that you’d always love him. But the longer you stayed quiet, the quicker he realized that wouldn’t be the case.

“Why would I, Bellamy? What good would that do me?” It hurt you to say those words, but you weren’t good enough for him.

“You know you don’t have to fuck with my feelings. You could just tell me the truth, Y/N. Why did you break up with me?”

“Bellamy-“

“Just tell me!”

“I hate you!” you shouted. They always say the eyes are the window to the soul and you just watched Bellamy’s heart break. Your breath was shaky as you tried to remain calm. “I hate you, Bellamy Blake.”

Bellamy didn’t say anything, his face was void of any emotion as he turned around, leaving you on the beach as he tramped back to the Ark.

He never should’ve imagined a future with you, getting married or growing old together. It was stupid and look at him now. His heart was shattered into a million pieces and left on the beach by your feet.

He stopped by the bar on his way back, grabbing 1, 2 or several drinks and ignoring anyone who tried to talk to him. He just needed to drown his feelings away right now and no better way then alcohol.

Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing

Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance

I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing

But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings

When love and trust are gone

I guess this is moving on

Everyone I do right does me wrong

So every lonely night, I sing this song

The light in his room was gone as he sat on the floor, leaning against his bed. Cups, some empty and some spilt, sat around him, the alcohol already hitting his brain. His eyes were on the door, waiting for it to open to you coming in to apologize and say you still loved him.

The door did open.

“Bellamy?” He hated the way his stomach dropped at the sound of Gina’s voice. She pushed the door open more, looking past to see Bellamy flushed as ever as he sat in the dark. She turned the light on and crossed her arms in front of her chest, sighing at the sight of him.

She stayed silent as she began to clean up the glasses, putting them on his desk and pulling Bellamy to his feet. He didn’t object, only giving a few grunts here and there as she laid him in his bed, pulling his shoes off and putting them by his bed. Bellamy let his eyes close, Gina moving about quietly as she took care of him, just like you used to.

He missed you.

He felt Gina press a kiss to his forehead before making her way to leave, but Bellamy stopped her as he grabbed her wrist.

“Stay.”

Gina smiled at the softness of his words, his eyes still closed as Gina exhaled. She kicked off her own shoes, pulling up the blanket and slid in next to him. Bellamy hesitated before pulling her closer into his side. This was progress.

This was moving on with his girlfriend.

All alone I watch you watch her

Like she's the only girl you've ever seen

You don't care you never did

You don't give a damn about me

Yeah all alone I watch you watch her

She's the only thing you've ever seen

How is it you'll never notice

That you are slowly killing me

What did you do? What the hell did you do?!

You lost him. Well, you already lost him, but now you buried the map, threw away the compass, and blindfolded yourself because now you truly had no way of ever getting Bellamy back. It was a game of love and hate and you were losing. You both were.

At least he looked happy. That first 24 hours after you said… those words, he looked awful and by result, so did you. But now you hadn’t seen Bellamy without Gina on his arm, clinging as if her life depended on it. It made you sick.

Here you were again staring at him from across the room, only this time you weren’t sure if he noticed you were there, too preoccupied in his girlfriend. You tried not to mind, hoping it was going to help you move on, but it looks like it was going to take more than that.

“This seat taken?” You looked up into a pair of unfamiliar blue eyes, a smirk sitting on his face as you shook your head. Blue eyes sat down, two shots being placed on the table for each of you. “So, who’s the guy?”

You chuckled, biting his lip. Who was this guy that he didn’t know who Bellamy Blake was? “Ex-boyfriend.”

His smirk, if it was even possible, got bigger. “So, I have a shot?”

“With him? Looks taken.” You joked, downing your shot. Blue eyes laughed at your joke, the sound getting Bellamy’s attention right away as your laughs joined in.

“Well then how about with you?” You didn’t say anything, looking to Bellamy for a hint of what to do. His eyes were back on Gina and it looked like they were deep in conversation. The way he looked at her, his eyes focused so intensely, you were positive to Bellamy that Gina was the only thing that existed in this moment. Did he ever look at you like that?

“I’m not up for a date, but a distraction seems really nice right now.” You raised a brow and bit your lip, hoping blue eyes knew what you were getting at.

The knowing smirk on his lips made you think he caught on. “Your room or mine?” You reached over, taking his shot glass and drowning it as you stood up, wincing at the scrapping chair. Blue eyes stood too and followed you out of the dining hall, reciprocating the grin you threw over your shoulder.

You spared a glance to Bellamy as you left but like you assumed, he hadn’t even glanced your way as you left.

And the realization you lost him, slowly killed you all over again.

I hate you I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to, but I can't put

Nobody else above you

I hate you I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

The regret of sleeping with blue eyes came immediately after it happened. You hadn’t even known his name. You were positive he said it last night, but it was the last thing on your mind. Like always, Bellamy was the first.

It was barely dawn when you left your room, blue eyes having left hours before. You just needed air and no better place to do it than by the water- the water where Bellamy and Gina were currently cuddled up on the sand together in the spot you and Bellamy deemed your place.

Your heart couldn’t take the pain you were experiencing, the feeling of numbness everywhere except where you needed it most.

Why was it so hard to watch?

Because you didn’t hate him. You were still fucking in love with him.

A/N: God, I love this song. 😊 🎶 Also I stayed up all night and wrote this lmao... I watched the sun go down and I just watched it come back up. Please don’t let this piece flop because I have a class call in just a few hours and I still have work to do that I neglected to do this. 😬

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