#i'm perfectly fine not sleeping
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just-slightly-chayotic · 2 years ago
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i am so sleepy. for no reason. ridiculous.
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californiaquail · 4 days ago
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why can i literally see canada but there only seem to be two places in town that do poutine and one of them wouldn't do takeout
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torchickentacos · 2 months ago
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I'm reading poetry at 1 am and spiraling over like 45 emotions at once, which is how poetry was meant to be enjoyed, I think
#hella off topic in tags again lol#current list of favorites:#The Kiss by Stephen Dunn#Connubial by Stephen Dunn#Rain by Raymond Carver#the lesson of the moth by Don Marquis#May to December by Megan Fernandes (I need to buy her book at some point)#The Woman Who Turned Down a Date with a Cherry Farmer by Aimee Nezhukumatathil#and I Like My Body When It Is With Your by E.E. Cummings.#I do not CAREEEEEEEEE if any of this is low-brow poetry. I do not know what high-brow high-quality poetry even is and I'm fine with that.#all I care about is if it makes me feel things and if I personally like it ❤️. I do this for fun and not to rip it apart because it's 'bad'#i've spent too much time around pretentious literary people and that shit seems exhausting! ngl!!!#I have no interest in it. even if what I love is garbage then at least I love it#and I am not just pretending to love it because it makes me look smarter or whatever.#it's one thing if you're autopsying poems out of love for literary analysis and criticism or for a degree#but nothing gets me more than people who ruin others' enjoyment of simple things just to feel above them.#like oh? you like better poetry than me? you care more about feeling smart than enjoying things? should we throw a party? should I call CNN#sorry 😭 this got so salty but pretentious people really tick me off. I've met far too many of them#and I am PERFECTLY HAPPY with my trash interests! I am a raccoon! I love trashy things! thank you very much!#ok i'm going to sleep now though because in true 1 am fashion I am not staying on topic lol.#I tryyyyy to keep complaining/negativity to a minimum here but whatever. I am allowed to have this lol#I like my maybe-bad-poetry-but-i-wouldn't-know. I like bad 90s music. I like campy-ass batshit 2009 FFN fics. I like taco bell. amen.
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binch-i-might-be · 9 days ago
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anyone else feel trapped in their horrid little life
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daz4i · 20 days ago
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>fails at waking up at 6:45, moves my alarm to 7:00. "surely i'll make it in time or at least won't be too late"
>fails at waking up at 7:00, moves it to 7:15. "maybe one of my parents could give me a ride? 🥺 or i'll just text my director when i wake up and go back to sleep then"
>literally sleeps through the 7:15 one (this has literally never happened to me. at least not since i was a teenager maybe)
>wakes up at 12:30 extremely worried abt not notifying my director and hoping i didn't cause too much trouble to anyone
>she sent a message that she's sick and won't be coming today
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noicevibes · 11 months ago
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ughhhhkshks now that i'm actively trying to take better care of my diabetes, i keep having low blood sugar rather than consistent highs and i'm just... how tf do i explain this lmfao, my body feels like a slime monster?? like that's how i'm moving around rn and i feel all sludgy and weak like i'm about to melt????
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nikisplendid · 2 years ago
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Ineffable husbands.
Not so ineffable.
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magnusbae · 1 year ago
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The me who doesn't have appetite for anything at all: 😔
The me who ordered a kids nuggets meal on the deliveries app: 🥺
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raystie · 2 years ago
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wow my last post was in Feb so despite not really having a following here I still feel obligated to say I'm going through a Bad Time both mentally and physically rn I can't even be bothered to think about or play Yakuza or do anything really. not dead but I sure feel like I'm on the way there rn. won't be here for a while take care everyone
#ray txt#well if you really wanna know the tmi details I'm putting it in the tags because I love overshsring#short version is entered depressive episode couldn't regulate my emotions constant crying and racing thoughts and mood swings#eventually psychosomatic symptoms caused by anxiety gets bad enough I start also having health anxiety and freaking out that I had some#disease or illness and that I was gonna die#if you've ever had your body feel like it's dying because of anxiety it's the typical shit#chest feels tight and like it's being crushed and like I can't breathe#random pains all over sometimes muscles or stabbing pains across torso#random nausea sweating and constant loss of appetite but maybe that was the depression#anyway after multiple crying sessions and nights where I couldn't sleep until like 8am and my parents considering putting me in#psych rehab (idea got scrapped) I go see some specialists#they check my blood piss uterus (irregular cycles I only get it every 2-4 months for years now)#and x-rays and they tell me actually everything looks fine physically! there's nothing wrong anywhere they can see and all my Levels are#perfectly Normal and Average I don't have a disease or illness or deficit#so all those pains and suffering really was just psychologically manifested and my brain made it up#andi know it's true because after that visit the chest pain was a lot less Andi can breathe better now#wait but that's not the end of it!#the gyne thinks I could have PCOS but can't confirm so I get my hormones tested and turns out I have more prolactin than normal#that fool made it sound like I Needed to get a MRI scan to check the gland that produces it in my brain or whatever#i go see an endocrinologist who says oh actually the extra prolactin is most likely just from your psychiatric medications#turns out if you take those it's commonly seen to go up so I didn't have to get scanned#this was optional but he suggested I take cabergoline to lower it and also get my menstruation regular again#and that's what I'm doing now but I feel like I had forgotten what having a period is like after always going for months without it#Oh and then I saw a new psychiatrist. because I had serotonin syndrome before and my body reacts badly to medications I've taken#he suggests a sensitivity blood test which I agreed to IMMEADIATELY because I've spent almost a whole decade taking all sorts of meds and#none of it working out#I haven't gotten the results back but he also said SSRIs are out of the question#although I've tried a bunch of antipsychotics and (prescribed) ADHD medications and they didn't work out#really want this fucking test because taking a med and then getting blasted with side effects makes me feel like a guinea pig being#experimented on
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smokeys-house · 2 years ago
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they're gonna run a sleep test on me tomorrow. I think they'll find that, indeed, this bitch is sleeping
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anxiously-awaiting · 2 years ago
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<- spoiled myself about something morgan related and actually i hate it a lot and i am Promptly ignoring it
#lb6 spoilers maybe???#i havent gotten there so idk if this is common knowledge#anyway spoilers starting here#->#i hate the whole 'morgan and vivian are split personalities' thing what the fuckfldsf#like setting aside the general Ick of like 'oh this personality is the good one and this one is the evil one :)' re:did and stuff (but keep#in mind. that is there i'm not ignoring it)#it's also just lazy writing to me? if you're going to make them separate personalities just make them separate people#my gripe isn't the idea of morgan being the lady of the lake#that's perfectly fine and also has been done before bc there's been plenty of ladies of the lake#but its with her being vivian *specifically*#if you want a morally complicated morgan le fae this is NOT how you do it flkdsf l#anyway i can fix them. just make them two separate fae who are mirrors to each other.#like morgan and vivi are RIPE for parallels#thats what ive been doing with mine !!!#ASK ME HOW I WOULD FIX THEM AND ALSO ASK ME HOW I HANDLE THE SAME VIVI/MORGAN RELATED STUF FIN MY OWN VERSION#<- dont actually im embarassedfkdsf#note that i am being hyperbolic with the 'i can fix them' thing and i'm not claiming my personal nor 'fates in my brain' version of#morgan/vivi are better in an objective sense bc its hubristic at best and i don't have the confidence for htatkfdjks f#idk maybe i'm jus tbeing a hater and tired and also its 630 and i cant sleep fjsdlkf#ill probably delete this after i sleep idk#efit bc i looked over this last night this is Primarily about proper human history morgan not lostbelt morgan bc i dont know what her deal#is bc again. not at lb6 yet
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plushri-moved · 7 months ago
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My phone broke and I don't feel like reinstalling all my apps on my temporary one while I wait for it to get fixed and maybe,.... I do not need the fitbit app to log my water in and check my daily sleep and steps and active minutes and...
#many thoughts....#I think I'll still wear it because I paid for it so I *will* be getting the most out of it#but once it's gone it's gone I won't get another#I tried to cut back a lot of my phone use like I have a modded instagram which only lets me access dms and don't have tumblr app#but just because a habit isn't “bad” (like mindless scrolling cat reels) doesn't mean it is “necessary”#like I truly do not need to reach for my phone and log my water everytime I finish my glass of water#why do I need to know how many steps I did or how many active minutes I got can I not#simply do my best to be active and healthy ? I wouldn't be any less active without it or care about my sleep less etc#why do I need an app to tell me I didn't get 8 hours sleep to allow myself to rest if I feel tired#can I not just take a rest when I feel I need it#I'm not trying to be fake deep I'm just realising how obsessed I am with this thing and for why??? I can do all these things myself#I actually might stop wearing it I mean it was £50 and I got 2 years out of it so that's pretty good#I don't know how long it would take to properly die#okay I just looked it up and it says 1-2 years?? what is everyone doing to their fitbits WHAT???#mine is perfectly fine I haven't noticed any decline it's got one scratch on the screen (I fell over)#hm not sure what to do#I might take it off for a week and see how we feel#I could probably give it to my sister#but then again I don't really want to explain all this to her and my mum lol#it would be easier to quietly stop wearing it...#nattering
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backpackingspace · 8 months ago
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Having two jobs that is basically all speaking while being non-verbal sure is a good fun time.
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battlecriesandroses · 9 months ago
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oh my god i completely forgot about the stuff that happened to me on friday oh god
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kittlyns · 11 months ago
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I have torn my bedroom apart trying to find additional bugs and nothing so far. Instead of feeling relieved though, I just feel anxious. Like I'm gonna go "Okay, just a hitchhiker! Nothing to worry abt :)" and in a month it's gonna be a full-blown infestation that I'm gonna have to spend hundreds and possibly thousands of dollars to fix.
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pepperyduck · 4 months ago
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this is love ft. kento nanami
a/n: a few sappy slices of life with my main man :3 enjoy as i dig up motivation to finish kinktober. 18+ mdni!
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"honey?" kento's voice is muffled through the door as he calls out to you, "everything okay?" the door rattles as he tries to open it, knob jingling.
"uhm, yeah! everything's fine!" you nervously shout, much too loud, and rush to unplug the iron that had melted your husband's favorite shirt. you panic and yelp when the hot iron scorches the side on your hand, throwing the stupid device to the ground in a clatter.
"why is the door locked—are you okay?" he asks, voice becoming more concerned as he hears the movement inside.
"i'm—i'm fine! promise! just give me a minute!" you're rushing into your shared master bathroom to run cold water over your hand, and kento’s using a screwdriver pulled from thin air to break into your bedroom. tears well in your eyes when you catch the sight of kento seeing his favorite shirt burnt and melted to his own ironing board. "i’m so sorry…"
in reality, he doesn’t care about the shirt—he’s already at your side to inspect your burnt hand. after a few seconds, he speaks.
"did you try to iron my shirt for me?" nanami asks, a small smile on his face, "you didn’t have to do that." he turns off the faucet and takes a small towel to dry your hand off.
"i tried to, i’m sorry—i didn’t know it would do that." you apologize, looking down at the cold tile flooring in defeat.
"oh, honey." he coos, "it’s only a shirt."
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"have you seen your father?" you ask your son, yū, who’s sat at the dining table, eating breakfast. he shakes his head no, and when you look at your daughter, mayu, she does the same.
"jeez," you grumble to yourself, bedroom slippers pattering down the hallway as you go to search for your husband. saturday mornings were his time to sleep in, but realistically, he never slept past 9am. and currently, it was nearing 10am.
you check everywhere. he isn’t found in the bedroom, living room, his office, the garage, the patio or in the little garden he kept. upstairs, downstairs, everywhere, he isn’t there. and when you check in your bedroom for the last time, you hear a soft buzzing coming from the bathroom. upon entering, you see your husband bent over the counter, leaning close in the mirror as he shaves his stubble with an electric razor.
"there you are—when did you get that?"
kento had always been a clean shaven kind of man, going to a barber shop once every two weeks for his straight razor shave. it hadn’t even crossed your mind he didn’t go after work yesterday.
but when he looks at you—you burst out laughing. he’d shaven most of his beard off, but a few fuzzy patches remained on his cheeks, along with a mustache grazing his upper lip. peach fuzz and a few knicks litter his chin. this was the first time you’d seen him unable to do anything perfectly. and he looks ridiculous.
"is it really that bad?" he groans, pouting when you wrap your arms around yourself in a giggling fit. you shake your head, although your unforgiving laughs are a testament to the opposite.
"no—no, let me help," you say after calming down.
after gathering a new razor and some shaving cream, you sit atop the counter and your husband stands between your legs. kento is surprised how flawlessly you shave his face, without creating any more marks or cuts. you giggle and kiss him, getting some shaving cream on your face.
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"ken?" you shout from the kitchen, where you’re sat, working on your dissertation. it’s been a long road of blood, sweat, and many, many tears; but you’re finally getting towards the end. about to earn a doctorate.
"yes, darling?" kento replies, walking into the kitchen on queue, his timing impeccable.
"can you read over this paragraph, please?" you kindly ask of him, pointing to your most recent written paragraph. he leans over you, planting one firm palm on the table, the other on your back; his eyes read along the sentences and his fingers tap along your spine.
"ah," his finger becomes more focused on a certain word, "wrong 'there', honey."
"no it's not..." you instantly retort, squinting your tired eyes to read over your writing. and you're right, it was the correct one the first time. this was his version of teasing you. but kento couldn't keep up the face much longer before he's giving in with a shit-eating grin you didn't see that often. "you're funny." you groan as kento stands back up.
after reading over the paragraph for about the nineteenth time, you notice kento silently slipping you some tea before turning back around to keep himself busy with cleaning. you absentmindedly take a few sips, then some more...and you find yourself becoming more and more sleepy...
and you're out like a light, forehead pressed directly against the table as a puddle of drool forms on the papers below. kento already has a warm blanket straight from the dryer to drape over you, and you stir just enough to get comfy on your arms.
kento knows that his back will hurt in the morning, but he sits around the corner of the table next to you, settling his head into his arms to drift off to sleep alongside you.
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music of your taste plays rather quietly in the kitchen. you stir the pot of soup and inhale the flavorful aroma that wafts through the air.
kento sets two bowls next to the stove, then rummages through your silverware drawer to find two spoons. the kids are at their grandparents for the weekend, it's only you and your husband, converted into the duo you were long ago.
you step away from the stove to go fill up two glasses of wine, the brand kento had as his favorite had slowly turned into your favorite over time, too.
kento fills up the two bowls to the brim of the delicious food, grinning on the inside at the simplicity of it all. just you and him. he lids the pot with the matching glass top and makes his way over to the table.
you set out place mats for the both of you, then place the wine glasses in their prospective areas. kento places the bowls on top of the mats as you grab the spoons from the counter.
in the kitchen, your bodies subconsciously dance around each other. carefully, in perfect tune and pace. delicate steps of a routine formed over so much time together.
in the universe, your souls are tied, striding alongside one another in each lifetime repeated.
and this, is love.
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